#that is like. the same emotion going on in the machiavelli-politics-vettori dynamic

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

Love and Marriage: Emotion and Sexuality in the Early Medici Family, Karen Burch / Between Friends : Discourses of Power and Desire in the Machiavelli - Vettori Letters of 1513 - 1515 by John M Najemy

#the renaissance has it all! #so here's a terrible sentence: you know the whole brutus/lucilius 'don't you want to know youre loved without having to beg for it' #theme ive been going on about? #it started from uh. the. #there's a very specific kind of emotion happening in the poliziano-lorenzo-clarice situation #that is like. the same emotion going on in the machiavelli-politics-vettori dynamic #and its been HAUNTING me because no one! gets a satisfying! conclusion! no one gets what they want!! #caligula voice: men die and they aren't happy! #and its all history so there's no way to ever get a satisfying resolution to it outside of like. creative playfulness and fictionalization #sometimes there is no closure but i want SO BADLY for there to be closure here. there's a permanent ache in my chest over it #there's a wound that wont ever close and EVERY time i open up machiavelli's letters i shove my hands in it all over again #anyway the brutus/lucilius dynamic is the closest resolution i could get my hands onto. its lucilius act of devotion given freely #but even THAT doesn't fit right. its not a clean fit. its misapplied. the thing! that haunts me! is still! there! #anyway it's about the later correspondence and how machiavelli stops talking to vettorri bc he woudn't have become so.... #obsessed. i guess. with the prince and it's end goal as an object representing desire. without vettori's replies to his letters #that haunts me #BUT I FOUND RESOLUTION to this thing that's been plaguing my waking thoughts for months now! so now i can begin posting about it #(the resolution. and i am so sorry for these tags. please know im laughing at myself as i type this. the resolution to this thing that's #been occupying my thoughts like a thorn was: the harry-jean-kim dynamic in DE. listen. hear me out. i can explain this----)) #(technically the order should be jean-harry-kim but tbh it doesnt matter. what DOES matter is that i can sleep at night again #instead of staying awake re reading the same three books and wishing so badly for a different ending for something that happened 500 years #ago. u know?)