#that might become a thing idk

[little-pondhead]

The Curse Of Hope

_

Danny is in another universe. He had a reason, but he doesn’t remember anymore. He can only stare, horrified and disgusted, at the sickest city spirit he’s ever seen. Shivering and swaying with every step, core exposed, and ectoplasm leaking from wounds that are decades old. A ratty blanket was thrown over their shoulders, barely hiding the spirit’s pale grey skin and protruding black bones.

The spirit didn’t even sense him until he reached out to touch its wispy shoulders. The spirit flinched, clutching at the dozens of trinkets hanging from their neck and tucking in on themselves like they were expecting a blow.

“Oh, shit,” He swore, floating back a few feet, hands in the air, to show he meant no harm. “I’m sorry. I promise, I’m not here to steal from you.” The spirit shivered again and rolled a pearl necklace in between their fingers. A nervous habit. “Uh, I like that pocket watch? It’s very nice.”

That got their attention. They peeked at Danny, and he saw that more tattered cloth was covering their eyes, blending in with the stringy hair that reached the ground. Their blanket fluttered weakly, revealing hundreds of thousands of tiny marks etched into their skin. Scars, really. Scars that wrote out curse after curse onto the spirit’s very being. They burned with evil intent, and even reached inside the spirit’s body and wrapped around their core.

Occasionally, blinding specks of color raced across their body, temporarily erasing the writing, but it always returned quickly. He watched, a little detached, as one particular line rewrote itself across their rough forearm, drawing fresh ectoplasm like someone was writing it with a thin knife.

“Are you…alright?” Danny stuttered. A stupid question.

The spirit cocked its head. He couldn’t see their eyes, but he felt their burning gaze as they pondered the question.

“The pain of others becomes mine own.” They rasped. “The lights of the city dim as rotten wealth clogs mine veins. Magicks long forgotten have eaten mine skins, pulled mine cloak, and darkened mine skies. Helios has refused to grace mine doorstep, and the seasons of the Earth have revoked their kindness.”

Danny held his breath. It felt like he was the one with the exposed core, not the spirit.

The spirit shivered once more. “Tell mine soul, little lamb. How could this Forsaken City know peace, when it was long since ripped from mine hands?”

Shit, he needed Frostbite. And maybe Clockwork. Now.

-Or-

Danny meets the spirit of Gotham City. The villains and rogues that have plagued the city for decades are literal curses that are taking quite the toll on Gotham, and honestly, Danny isn’t sure how much longer they can hold out. The heroes seem to be doing some help, and are probably the reason Gotham made it this far, but the poor city needs help from the Realms if they want to get better.

Luckily, Danny can provide that help.

But only if he could get Gotham to leave their city behind. Because recovery is going to take a very long time.

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #Gotham is very lanky and tall and had dozens of necklaces around their neck #the necklaces are just cords filled with lost things the citizens have lost over the years #like bits of glass or wedding rings or hag stones made from a destroyed gargoyle #actually I have a weird picture of Gotham in my head I might draw it #it’s giving Bloodborne to me but idgaf #basically Danny meets Gotham and is trying to convince them to go with him for medical help because what the fuck #those curses are the equivalent of leaving hundreds of leeches stuck to your body for ten years #Danny is BEGGING Gotham to come with him #there’s potential for angst but if you want crack then Danny probably replaces Gotham #I think there’s already a similar fic where he becomes the new spirit of Gotham but I haven’t read all of that #anyways the Batfam are like #invasive animals that are actually helping the ecosystem recover from an even WORSE invasive species #but they aren’t supernatural heroes and they don’t understand that the issue is deeper #I’m calling this the Curse of Hope because Danny is offering hope to Gotham #but Gotham is just so tired and sick and hurt that they don’t want to risk it #they think Danny is another curse come to plague them #should he just straight up adopt the city at this point? #idk it probably depends on how it’s written #sad course is to let Gotham die. happy ending is where they are treated and returned #crack ending probably has Danny adopting the city and introducing them to his own city spirit Amity Park #oh shit is that a new ship #guys please I can’t keep doing this #Gotham City x Amity Park #how the fuck do you come up with a name for that #Burger Joints? #Wet Pavement? #bro idk I’m putting this down before I make something I might regret #low key wanna write this but like. I have so much to do

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

#personal #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #psych abuse tw #psych ward tw #ok to reblog if u want #psych abolition #mad liberation #psych survivor #it's a lot of grief hours over here and will be for a while all week i think #lots of grief so many ways this year for so many people #but this week. his memory . my grief for him #is hitting especially hard. i think partially because of all the transitions in my life. i'm graduating college. he will never become an ad #adult. #i think i might ask my roommates if they will go do something to remember him with me. maybe making origami cranes and sending them off in #the river. or writing things down and burning them #idk. grief is hard #six years in grief is different. but hard

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan #why did i actually write all of this #idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing #at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword #someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword #i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans #and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it #might write this #but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing #yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok #bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here #while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge #i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them #for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl #and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator #luo binghe #luo bingge #mxtx svsss #svsss #fanfic stuff #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss ideas

[redysetdare]

I keep seeing posts where people are saying "Valentines doesn't effect asexuals!" "romantic relationships have nothing to do with asexuality!" And while i understand the point they are making is to stop conflating Aromanticism with Asexuality, it is still extremely annoying to find people don't understand the nuance that comes with asexualities connection to romance - because it DOES have a connection to it. It DOES have problems in relation to romance. To say it doesn't is ignoring a huge set is experiences that ace people face.

One of the most common experiences for asexuals is the struggle to be in romantic relationships because they are asexual. a lot of romantic relationships expect you to have sex. if you're someone who doesn't have sex then unfortunately that causes a lot of people to lose interest in you romantically as well.

There's also non-sam aces, and let me tell you it's so very strange to hear someone bring up non-sam aros but then ignore the existence of non-sam aces in order to prove some point of it somehow being ace peoples fault that aro and ace are viewed as the same. Some non-sam aces do not date either. they are still ace and they can still face similar problems to aromantic people because of that. they are still effected my amatonormativity.

Aces DO have connection to romance. Asexual DID have a reason to trend on valentines day along with Aro and Aroace. Asexuality is effected my romance and amatonormativity. Sop acting like it isn't. stop acting like aros and aces have absolutely nothing in common. We can work together and have similar experiences and still be seen as separate identities. there is overlap. stop treating this as black and white where one identity can only be effected by one kind of problem. It's naive at best and down right hateful at worse.

#text #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #i might get hate for this one but as an aroace who for a while was a non-sam ace (before i found out about aro) #romance DOES effect aces #not in the same way that it effects aros but #treating aces as if they can never know or understand amatonormativity and have never faced similar issues? idk it's ignorant to me #some of the way ppl in the aro community talk about asexuality and aroace identities is just...idk frustrating #i understand the frustration on their end but also i need you all to not fall down the rabbit hole of becoming acephobic #and blaming ace people for all the problems that allos caused #and understand there is nuance to identities and just because someone is asexual alloromantic #doesn't mean they aren't effected by amatonormativity or that they have no issues related to romance at all #asexual and Aromantic are not the same thing but also stop acting like they have no overlap at all period #we used to help each other man. stop throwing some of us under the bus to try and make a point #romantic expectations are not an aro only problem

[hannigramislife]

"Oh, the abuse cycle in bsd–"

Yes, let's talk about the abuse cycle in Bsd. Let's talk about what people don't seem to mention, ever.

Mori. Dazai. Akutagawa. Kyouka.

Though nothing is certain about what the relationship between Mori and Dazai was really like, there is a clear difference between these relationships.

Mori is appreciative of Dazai. Much as he is scared of him, Mori would take Dazai back to the Mafia in a heartbeat. From the flashbacks, we could see that Dazai and Mori had relatively easy talks, Mori confided in him, was always honest, and 15 year old Dazai seemed to talk freely with him. The abuse is, far as we know, emotional manipulation on a great scale.

Akutagawa was probably violent with Kyouka, just as Dazai was with him, though I suppose at a lesser scale (i don't think he ever shot bullets at her, for example). One thing that we do notice, though, is that Akutagawa never talks down to her? He acknowledged her strength and gave her the same reason to live that he believed in himself. Then, he also acknowledges her growth, is actually happy for her happiness, and in Dead Apple, even suggests for her to kill him when he's at his weakest. There's also a lack of emotional dependence— unlike his own case, Akutagawa did not mold her to depend on his approval. And when she sees him, she has a less severe reaction than she did when she saw Mori, for example.

And then, you have Akutagawa and Dazai. And this is what really pisses me off. Because not only is Dazai both emotionally and physically abusive to Akutagawa, he continues to keep his hold on Akutagawa even after he has become a "good guy." He keeps Akutagawa tethered to him, manipulates him in dangerous situations Akutagawa has no business being in, and purposely plays into the boy's trauma bond to him to use him. All while giving everything to a random orphan he met on the streets that - objectively speaking - is no better than Akutagawa?

This is my personal view on their relationships, and I haven't read any light novels but Beast, so there might be information I'm missing.

But no amount of context can change the fact - and I mean fact - that Dazai had absolutely zero excuse to do what he did to Akutagawa. While in the Mafia or after it. Because the guy with an IQ of a billion, who was himself saved and shown kindness by another in his darkest times should have fucking known better.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd abuse cycle #bsd dazai #bsd akutagawa #bsd kyouka #bsd mori #dazai osamu #akutagawa ryuunosuke #kyouka izumi #mori ougai #atsushi nakajima #i have so many thoughts #and feeling #about this #every time i see someone use “abused becomes the abuser” thing #i feel like they're not thinking about it in terms of the circumstances these ppl were in #idk might be just me #but while you can't compare abuse and pain #you can certainly tell the difference here #one of these things is NOT like the others

[oconist]

Oscar Wilde, A Few Maxims for the Instruction of the Over-Educated / Albert Camus, The Fall / Fredrik Backman, Us Against You / Ally Condie, Matched

#esteban ocon #pierre gasly #f1 #formula 1 #pierresteban #frenchpine #web weaving #first time doing this kinda nervous #the last quotes ends with 'I'm glad.' but we angsty #just them #their narrative #this was quite fun to do #it's short but idk if im doing it right tbh #azda.weaves #maybe it might become a thing #i'll try to improve

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Ok so the basic premise of my Prime Bros universe that I've creatively dubbed "The same but different" so far goes like;

Nine is eventually left alone in the Grim, some angst happens and he spends a few days alone in there until he says fuck it and braves the Void to get into Green Hills since he has only to gain and nothing to loose hoping that Sonic would somehow be accepting of him there. If not then he'll just figure something else out.

Sliiightly retconning the ending by saying the energy shockwave was caused by Nine breaching the shatterverse gate, but Sonic and the gang don't know that as of yet and go investigate any possible threat that could've emerged again.

They find Nine in the cave and que in the last 5 seconds of the Nimona movie with Sonic as Balister.

Since Sonic hasn't had the opportunity to share his adventure stories with his friends yet, they're confused asf as to who that fox is and why is Sonic so excited to see him.

Explanations, settling in and all that jazz happens. Tails is super stoked about the whole contained multiverse concept that Nine apparently knows so much abt and wants to figure out a portal. Nine is reluctant at first cuz he literally just got out of there and barely survived giant purple rocks floating about the void with zero natural resistance to slow them down. And another thing is that they're severely lacking in paradox energy.

Despite all that, Tails somehow manages to convince him on a mission to rob Shadow's house and quite easily find the paradox prism hidden in a box labeled "Do not touch. That means you, Sonic" (Yes I was serious about that poll)

Somewhere around that scene is when Shadow actually gets a punch in on Nine while Tails manages to grab just enough energy from the prism to manage experimenting with it, and eventually with a little assistance from Nine, succeed at making a portal.

—

And I thinks that's about all for now that makes sense and I can put to words. This is like, the first 3 maybe 4 chapters? I just uhhhh gotta iron out the details!! And there's no real ending in mind cuz I'm only being silly with an idea. (Please brain don't make me switch fandoms as soon as the first chapter is out istg you've done that one too many times-)

#sonic prime #prime bros #I'm trying to write the actual thing but!!! It's kicking my ass!!! Writing hard asf how do you guys do it #I'm imagining each chapter might get a little illustration to go along with it but idk how long I'll be able to keep it up #One is almost done and the other is yet to become a sketch but I'll get there #hopefully #lord give me strength #miles nine prower #nine the fox #miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #the same but different

[actualjenna]

If you’re still taking requests! Can you draw the silly bushman (and his swag mullet)

MY MAN

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #sniper #sniper tf2 #team fortress 2 sniper #mick mundy #mr mundy #illustration #digital art #SNIPERRR SNIPER!!!!!! #sniper <3 #men with longish hair. hello #i landed a few sick headshots today saurrr idk might become a sniper main #like i love standing in a corner and looking at things from a distance <3 #thank u for giving me an excuse to draw him hehehehehehe

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

#possramble #ignore this im just babbling but #the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel #and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession #platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together #like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married #convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist #but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain #like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just #the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends #the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me #like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed #the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk #people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!! #but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out #don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck. #i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing. #she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it #and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not. #she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over #like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics #and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with #they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic #it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out #like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched #love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it #anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me #it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3 #it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.

[harcove]

I think what really sets Ascended Astarion apart from non-Ascended Astarion for me, and makes Ascended feel so wrong for me is that he says he has been dead for so long- but now it's time for him to live when not ascended. He cries when he kills Cazador. He cries. Something he NEEDS to do; he needs to feel that weight of emotion, that pain and relief and sadness. He needs to feel. To mourn for himself, for others. He strikes the date of his death off of his tombstone. He feels alive, even if in the moment it hurts; he wants to live. Ascended Astarion is still dead, in more ways than one.

#ik a lot of ppl love ascended astarion cause we love an evil king lmao idk but it hurts seeing him that way #he isnt happy not really- he thinks he is- hes become the very thing he sought out to destroy and he doesnt realize it #and one day - if he does? that might break him more #astarion #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #ascended astarion #he is so much happier not ascended u can see it in his voice in his actions #ascended astarion feels so empty to me still- power wont ever make him happy; it wont ever be enough for him- at least i dont think so

[rotzaprachim]

idk I kind of live in a bubble but to have a pretty antizionist gentile relative who grew up in a military dictatorship, took place in mass protesting, and also was at the receiving end of anti Asian discrimination from Ashkenazi Jews in her program - something we’ve talked about and had some complex discussions on - just outright say she doesn’t know how safe America is for Jews. It rocked me socked me knocked me over

#I don’t want to be paranoid but like. This was one of those coming from outside the communtiy things #I do think self aware East Asian Americans and Asian diaspora people need to be smart about the extent to which the #Mass backlash against a so called model assimilated minority can turn #Is something that might turn against other so called model minorities if politics become inconvenient again #But it’s also soemthing else coming from a gentile who isn’t white and who is very aware of racialization #Idk. Idk

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

#idk i just think it’s funny #like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never #had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in #love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and #compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and #is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for #the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer #and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and #heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and #status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on #a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking #things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re #also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price #tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or #because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a #frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is #happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being #happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie #please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!! #prongsfoot #bambibelle #drabble #fic idea #marauders #james potter #sirius black #jay talks

[statementlou]

How does one become your friend?

honestly I'm so mentally compromised by fatigue today that my answer- I don't know??- sent me into an actual spiral of "do I not know how to be a friend to myself is it a commentary on my psychological health and state of being" sooooo might just have to leave all that aside and go with, uh, try messaging or chatting some way? I'm generally afraid of bothering people, what if they think I'm a creep, but I usually like it when people talk to me and then boom! I, at least, consider us friends- same as most people on here I'd guess. But watch out! I am annoying and unless discouraged will then consider us pals forever if we have two friendly interactions, sorry.

#to be honest there are many people on here I don't talk to and maybe aren't even mutuals with who I kind of consider friends #but that definitely might just be in my head lol #I see familiar names and think oh hey guys. here we are. hanging out :) #thornier questions include how to be a friend? does chit chat a friend make? should I be doing more? #things I am good at: talking about fandom stuff. annoyingly ranting about fandom stuff #things I am not good at: talking about RL stuff. not being awkward if attempting to address real life stuff #fun fact got this and a troll ask together and was like... are they making fun of me? will this one disappear when I block the other one? #but it didn't so I guess it might be real? feel weird posting but would feel weirder not answering #idk you guys should answer in replies how does one become friends with anyone online what do you think?

[congregation-of-the-spiral]

thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah

#the storys about a woman who finds herself in this weird ass forest #where the longer youre there the more it strips you of your identity #until all that remains is your core motivation #your bare essentials #and it warps your body to better reflect that #like i have a character who was a huntsman who had to resort to cannibalism when he and his hunting buddy got trapped in the mountains #so now hes like this Grotesque Beast who hunts other people who wander into the forest #and i love him sm <3 #anyway #so the woman is trying to find her way back home to her wife before she becomes one of them #but no ones ever escaped before blah blah blah whatever #and im having a hard time actually writing it #since its something from scratch #like theres just A Lot #i have characters and the setting but im struggling to balance a plot b plot c plot etc #so i figure i might just rope my hyperfixation into it to let it Do Its Thing so i can actually have like #a first draft #at the very least #idk #would yall read that? #not tma #helix speaks #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #jmart #get this to 10 notes and I'll do it #i don't need a lot of convincing #it's prolly gonna happen #soon as i figure out how i wanna rework characters and plot points

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw

[lunarharp]

scribbly first date type affair (continuation of my modern au stuff)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #idk when the next modern au thing will be so i'll just post this by itself. hehe #that art was one of qifrey's first drawings. it was of a creepy eye. (it was around the time he got glasses as a kid) #(and was told that he might lose his sight completely one day so he became an emo because he already wanted to be an artist #like beldaruit who ran his foster home where he encouraged kids to draw art to express their feelings.) #and an insidious deviantart group called The Brimhats idk stole it & reposted it. he never got to the bottom of who exactly did it. #but one day. they will fucking suffer. #(he believes their goal was to develop AI art as they said stuff like 'all art should belong to everyone anyway' & 'there shouldnt be rules' #but actually they were probably just regular mean ppl who have moved on to new things in life than stealing kids' art on deviantart. #who knows though.) i want people to retain their disabilities or general tragedies like beldaruit would be in a wheelchair #and coco's mum is in a coma. but its just so funny if qifrey just has regular bad eyesight #and it's so cute that he would say he doesnt think of beldaruit as a dad & is distant with him but now basically runs a foster home too #where he doesnt just encourage like he was encouraged but actively teaches kids from sad backgrounds to become wonderful artists one day #anyway i am so fucking hungry now goodbye #P.S. BELDARUIT IS NOT OLD !!!!!!! i mean if qifrey is late 20s or older in canon like i want... i guess he..but.... NO !!!!!! 😭 #*edits in some follow-up drawings* #oru: i couldn't c-c-confess my feelings bc it always seems like he's worried about something..i shouldnt bother him.. #qif: *always worried about how to confess his feelings* #ive decided meeting at 7 on da is kind of ridiculous actually. i think they probably meet at like age 10 in canon..not immediately =_= #since beru-sama is like 'he finally found a friend'. whatever... this'll be my last art post for a while probably so see ya <3