#that reblog about what albums you can listen to without skipping a song

[hwaightme]

Your fan, Mingi (part 2)

(part 1) (your fan ml)

🎤 pairing: mingi x rapper!reader 🎤 genre: slice of life, mix of fluff and angst, music and the industry, slow burn 🎤 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if mingi was stanning you 🎤 wordcount: 3.3k 🎤 warnings/tags: language, reader is a rapper, reader is a tattooed queen, mingi and reader collaboration, album of the year, big concert, toxic fandom (but it is overcome:)), mingi support, reader is a shining star, comfort, celebrity, hongjoong is proud dad, studio energy, write angsty rap, power couple, new future, new home 🎤 a/n: Hi <3 this is part 2 for Your fan, Mingi!! Part 1 can be found here. From the bottom of my heart thank you so much for your support and care, and as always, I greatly appreciate any asks, reblogs and likes!

You trusted Hongjoong. He was one of the only idol artists who you clicked with and remained connected to, and you had no regrets. He never pushed any subject you were not comfortable with, nor did he really mention idol life outside of music, composition, production and lyric writing.

Through him you had gotten to know more about the idol life, and just what it took for such a talented and prominent fourth generation group to do world tours, to do fansign events, to always be there for fans and create fantastic music.

There had been a couple of times previously that Hongjoong had implied that it would be interesting to collaborate with you, but you had brushed it off.

You had no idea whether you, having the standing that you did in the music industry, would benefit or suffer from such a collaboration. For you the thought of potentially having to have official big-scale promotions and delving into the political side of the industry was more than unpleasant.

It was clear that had you signed any contract for officially making a track with Hongjoong, you likely would have had to play by his company's rules, maybe even have had to fit a particular concept.

This time, however, Hongjoong had unknowingly hit you in your weak spot. He mentioned Song Mingi.

When Hongjoong and you had a listening session together, with him and yourself sharing some tracks, both released and in the works, you had fixated on the other rapper's voice and flow.

He had a unique tone, and a way of incorporating off-beats and delays that made you inadvertently shake your head and make the classic 'damn this shit is good' face. The highest level of approval.

You had not hesitated in informing your friend that Mingi was a gem in his team, and that you were grateful to have had the chance to listen to him.

And of course Hongjoong was going to remember that until the end of time and employ that information against you.

The text was simple, but did not leave much room for negotiation. Not that you would have refused anyways.

<MC MINION> hey Mingi loves you and wants to record a cover of your track Dum Spiro Spero. You cool with that + got instrumental?

You had to admit, you had been hopeful that a day would come when you could meet Mingi, especially after you had spotted him in the audience at your recent concert.

You were too cool to let your glee show, instead launching into one of your more challenging openers. Did you want to impress him? Yes. Did you want to spell out that you liked him? No.

It was lucky that your fans did not recognise him, or were polite and respectful enough to pay no mind, nor alert anyone on social media. So, in peace you could enjoy giving him the occasional glance throughout the show and let your inner fangirl perform a victory dance as you noticed he was completely enchanted.

So without any further thought, you sit send on an offer for them to come over to your studio and to make something completely new together. Bureaucratic shit could wait for a second, you had some self-wingwoman-ing to do.

They had arrived at record speed, much to your delight. And to say that your heart skipped a beat when you locked eyes with Mingi would be an understatement. You were envious of the unbelievable boom-bap that it had produced, barely being able to contain yourself.

Mingi was the same. Shining like a thousand suns, he stretched his hand out to you and once you did the same, could not help but admire the tattoos that were peeking out from under the sleeve of your oversized hoodie.

In a spur of emotion he blurted out a series of compliments, his hand still holding onto yours, him melting as you chuckled and sent warm words right back.

While deciding what the track was going to be, Hongjoong had suddenly decided to volunteer himself into an exclusively producer role, saying something along the lines of "the track will just sound better that way trust me"... which could be taken two ways.

Mingi swooned a little at the thought that Hongjoong was literally waving a green flag for him to make a RAP DUET with you.

While you, interpreting it as a subtle jab at your productions skills, clasped your hands together, uttering a low, "1v1 me dude I dare you"

Never before did Mingi see Hongjoong so unsettled, his hands flittering over your equipment as he laughed nervously. But in a matter of seconds a sweet smile returned to your face as you leaned back in the chair and said "you know that we are both control freaks right? Wait- Mingi? You a control freak or just freaky?"

His face slowly started turning beet red as he looked to his captain for reassurance. It did not help that you addressed him informally, catching him off-guard completely. But he did not mind. In fact, he liked it. A lot.

And with that buzz motivating you, you Hongjoong and Mingi began to write lines, lay down beats, nearly crash Ableton a couple of times, hold a mini-concert on some Launchpads, and made sure to include a catchy hook, credit to Hongthoven being in the house.

It was totally different seeing you work. Just as you were sweet and mellow when chatting away to him or Hongjoong, you were the world's energy personified both in the booth and while guiding Hongjoong if there was something he could not find, since the set up was slightly different.

Mingi could not take his eyes off you as you were recording your parts. The way in which you were fully immersed in the story spoke volumes about your professionalism, and how well you added vocals to his parts made his heart flutter. He could not help but imagine how this could sound live.

He wanted to take this out of the booth and into the world. To be that rap duo that everyone wanted to hear. So once it was his turn, he gave it all.

You were in awe. He was even better than before, and matched you impressively well. He had even used some of your beloved techniques, and took a rhythmic pattern from your part to emphasise its importance. You could not help but lean over to Hongjoong, who was looking awfully similar to a Cheshire cat, and whisper:

"I need an album with this guy."

"He's all yours. Trust me, he'll break KQ down if you tell him."

Now it was your turn to blush. Who were you? A school girl? Maybe. Maybe on the inside there was a little school girl. You didn't mind though. Not one bit. You liked it. And though you were still one to want to keep that tough girl persona, you admitted you had a soft spot for the gentle giant.

After the first day of working on the track had gone incredibly well, Hongjoong and Mingi had taken straight to management to convince them that this was going to be a hit. Later that same night, on an hour-long zoom call with you, your agent, Hongjoong, Mingi and their management present, you had all agreed on terms and were ready to make the track official for future release.

You knew that this was likely going to involve a lot more publicity, and was going to be something new, but Mingi had highlighted, when the topic of promotions came up, that he did not want to follow a hardcore route, instead opting more for the few but highly sought after appearances. Hongjoong simply agreed.

It was obvious to you that Mingi was doing this out of consideration for you, and it did make you think that maybe he saw you as weak, but that evaporated once the call was done and he messaged you privately.

<MC Mango> Hey Y/N! Just wanted to say that I am so excited to be able to actually make this track with you! Feels like a dream haha

<you> Hi Mingi, likewise :) super cool stuff, you coming to the studio @ 10am tomorrow right?

<MC Mango> You know it! Also, what's your favourite food?

Well that was random, but you decided to answer anyways

<you> Nachos are life.

<MC Mango> RESPECT! Okay thank you :D

<you> You mysterious man... O_O

<MC Mango> See you tomorrow Y/N :) <3

<you> haha see you :) <3

His addition of the heart made your heart do flip flops. You really were getting too soft. So you put on your noise cancelling headphones, and in your best nature, turned up an aggressive hiphop and trap playlist.

And yet, thoughts of him did not want to leave, so instead, you returned to tweaking what you had recorded today, listening to his wonderful voice many times over.

After a few more days of the two ATEEZ members basically living in your studio (and Mingi bringing nachos for you because of that one text you sent), you were officially finished with the preparation of the track, having mastered it to the highest quality attainable, and after that, it was a big time rush to tie up all the loose ends for the set release.

The way that this one song scaled in terms of production was unprecedented, and compared to your lonely nights in the studio or at most, five people working on an album, you could not help but feel like you did not deserve this.

You felt like everything was being taken out of your control, and there were moments when you, quite literally, had no idea what was happening, neither with your song nor with what the bureaucrats had lined up for you. It was all simply too much. Too loud, too much like a hive.

So walked right into your studio, and got to writing.

The words came naturally to you, and it was your fingers that were struggling to keep up as you let loose on the pages in front of you. The message was simple enough, but it resonated. The feeling of realising that you will never really quite know a person, or the wide network of people who are connected to you.

Just as you were finishing up, you noticed that the second verse seemed to have a slightly different voice. One that was too similar to a certain tall rapper. Oh you were in deep.

You were alerted by a soft knock on the door, and looked up to see none other than Mingi, poking his head in, evidently worried. You could not be happier to see him.

"Hey, you weren't at KQ so I figured I could find you here. What's up? Can I come in?"

He asked, ever so gentle. As he ambled across the room upon shutting the door behind him, you noticed he had a plastic bag in his hands. After seeing your line of vision stop at the object, he raised it a little, explaining:

"I brought some fuel. There were these cool new fusion kimbap rolls launched, and I wanted to try them with you."

With you. The words repeated in your head. You thanked him, and patted the seat beside you. There was no need for you to explain why you were taking some time out, Mingi understood in a heartbeat.

The only thing that mattered to him was that you were still here, smiling, and more than happy to see him. Be with him.

You slid over the lyrics you had written for a still untitled rough idea, asking him for his opinion. Brows furrowed, he leaned over, closer to you.

"Oh this flows... nice... oh I really like that line. Wait why did you write 'Fix On'?"

"Guess."

"Wait, no way. Is this us?"

"Well... it could be?" you left the question hanging in the air. Silence fell upon the room as he looked deep into your eyes.

"This... is going to be THE BEST ALBUM EVER LET'S DO THIS!" he almost deafened you with his scream for joy as he jumped up from the chair, taking you with him and wrapping you up in a tight hug.

At first you were frozen, unsure of what in the world you were supposed to be doing, but as seconds passed and he was not planning on letting go, you chuckled and returned the embrace, rocking just a little.

Another spark passed between you as both of you felt that this was definitely going to be much more than just an album.

As days turned into weeks, and one song turned into a mini album, your interactions with Mingi also changed. Instead of just staying in the studio to work, you now spent hours on end in the space just staying together to chat. Initially sat opposite one another, but recently, intertwined in a cuddle on the couch, both of you looking at either your phone or his.

When Hongjoong was in the studio too, he was constantly eyeing both of you with a cheeky smirk.

It had already been five times that the rest of the members, led by Yunho, crashed the studio 'to see how things were going' and to 'see Mingi because they have not seen him in so long'. Soon enough that had also changed to 'you know what just take him forever he doesn't stop talking about you anyways'.

Though you had not made it official yet, everything was progressing in that direction. Both him and you were evolving thanks to your collaboration, and had only one wish: for this to never end.

Mingi had helped you familiarise yourself with official photoshoots, and you had given him freestyling tricks for 'the future'.

Once the mini album dropped, it seemed that everything you knew combusted.

Initially, your fans, those fans who you held so dear and worked tirelessly for, were pouring in with nothing but disappointment and hatred. You were appalled. It was also obvious that they had not listened to any of the tracks, and they were just displeased that now you were 'searching for the mainstream, sucking up to popular culture and losing yourself'.

It would be a lie to say you did not spend nights after the release in tears, instead of celebrating. Hiding in your beloved studio, you could not stop yourself from composing sad track after sad track, trying to find an outlet for your anguish. You knew you should not have done this. You knew you should not have loved.

You did not answer Mingi's calls, nor his messages, but when he bust through the door, misty-eyed and crying out your name, you collapsed into his arms as he comforted you, promising you that he would always be there. No matter how hard things seemed.

Once you had calmed down, he took out his phone and started showing you some screenshots. Then went on Twitter, and then even searched up articles related to your collaboration. He wanted to show you that there was a different side to the story.

And oh how bright it was.

ATINY were overwhelmingly positive about this surprise release, praising both Mingi's and your talents, and diving into searching for more of your content.

You read the critics raving about each track, especially the first one, which you had made into the title track.

The public was calling for this to be in concert. On a show. Anywhere where they could feel this live. You took Mingi's hand and slipped your fingers through his, and he responded by bringing you closer, kissing your cheek.

"And finally, take a look," and he showed you one more page. Your social media page. With the follower count unlike anything you have ever seen before, even though you had experienced a crash just a few days ago. And a flood of comments of appreciation and gratitude. In that moment, you returned to Mingi, and pulled him into a hope-filled kiss.

It was interesting doing promotions as a new couple. Though you had not revealed the relationship, multiple public figures had commented on your 'unique chemistry' and 'what seemed to be musical telepathy'.

On a couple of shows onto which you had agreed to go, (given the condition that Mingi would be there too) you shined. Initially you were irked by their requests that you covered up your tattoos, but as it turned out, long-sleeved, form fitting turtlenecks and modern cyber and industrial wear quickly became your signature.

Your agent was ecstatic at your rise in popularity, and was now almost always on new phone calls, even negotiating with some brands who wished to do advertising with you.

And Mingi, well, he was falling in love with you more and more, as you shined brighter and brighter. During a small break in your promotions to accommodate ATEEZ's pre-filming, he continuously messaged you and even invited you onto the film set, where you had the chance to mingle more with the staff.

You had gotten to know a lot of them closely, even recognising some from the time of initial preparations for your album with Mingi, and took no time to present them with small thank you gifts, and helping them out when you could.

Their attitude towards you also softened, with one of the younger interns admitting that initially, she had perceived you as a much scarier and stricter figure, and after hearing some rumours. To this, you responded with a light-hearted laugh, and thanked her for the honestly.

How glad you were that Mingi had snuck out to see you that day, and that serendipity had brought you a friend in the form of Hongjoong.

Fast-forward a couple of months, and you were having the largest-scale concert of your career. Before, it used to be within the hundreds at most, the highest profile one having approached one thousand.

But now, there were a few thousand voices, all chanting your name. The venue was sold out in record time, and the first batch of merch that you had designed, with Mingi cheering you on in the background, was nearly sold out. The concert merch too, had been swept off the stalls.

It was exhilarating. You were alive. Before, it was you breathing life into the audience, sharing your energy with them, connecting to them and lighting up the room. But now, the exchange was mutual, and in some moments, you were flabbergasted at the pulsating force of the crowd. They were there for you. They were cheering for you. They knew your words by heart and were overjoyed to be in this time and space with you.

You were on the extended platform connected to the main stage that went further into the audience. A peninsula, surrounded by a sea of shimmering glow and the wonderful people attending. It was time for you to perform the title track of your and Mingi's album. You were seated on one of the two stools that were right in the centre of the 'peninsula'. One single spotlight on you.

The crowd roared, signaling Mingi's approach in the darkness. You felt his back press against yours, his heartbeat steady, giving you rhythm, giving you reassurance. While your microphones were still off, but he moved his away just in case, you heard him whisper to you quick words of adoration, and a cheerful 'let's do this'.

In this wide world, you had always thought that keeping your circle small, your fanbase small, and your music inaccessible was the only way to preserve identity. But you had grown. You had now understood that you had been selfish, denying those who wanted to dream the opportunity to do so.

Now on the stage, together with the love of your life and with the universe surrounding you, you were truly alive, and truly an artist.

#mingi x reader #song mingi #mingi #ateez mingi #mingi x y/n #ateez x reader #hongjoong #ateez #kim hongjoong #jeong yunho #producer hongjoong #rapper mingi #music #rapper #kpop imagine #ateez imagine #mingi aesthetic #mingi moodboard #ateez moodboard #fluff #angst #slow burn #hwaightme #hm/writing

[autumnsup]

The Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack Imagined As a Flight or Tasting Menu

Arranged According to Flavor and Style

To preface my latest nonsense: I will always appreciate the OST. I even went and bought the vinyl edition (see previous reblog), which makes skipping the less beloved tracks more difficult. Nevertheless, over the years I have done some curating based on the tracks I love most, including adding in a few bonus tracks that didn’t make it onto the OST album.

Back in the early 2000s, it was quite the undertaking to create what I considered to be the “complete” soundtrack to Velvet Goldmine. To collect more tracks, I combed through used CD stores, ripped from CDs found at libraries, and “borrowed” from my dad’s music downloading service pre-iTunes, to make a mix of my own.

I won’t be including that exact mix here, nor will I be mentioning every single song on the OST, but I’ve compiled a few Top 5 lists with flavorful ramblings about each track and why I love it. I’m also realizing as I write that much of what I appreciate about each song is wrapped up with the scene it underscores in the film, making it hard for me to take a step back and judge them on their musical merits alone. Just be warned that some may be more incoherent than others. 🫠

Top 5 Faves

Hot One ✨ Shudder to Think

Flavor profile: smoky-sweet with a dollop of strange

Honestly, this song makes me so happy and nostalgic every time I hear it. If I were to pick one song to play on repeat, this would probably be the one I’d choose. There’s something infectious about the leisurely pace of the piano and bass together, and the nonsensical, somewhat dark lyrics overlaying them, lightly tinged with the rasp of the singer's voice. I could almost imagine Oscar Wilde composing the words, without the references to outer space (unless he was actually – gasp – FROM outer space?).

Bitter-Sweet ✨ Roxy Music

as performed by Thom Yorke and The Venus in Furs

Flavor profile: a swirl of bitters and spice with an undercurrent of salt tears

I love this song because it encompasses so many different sounds and moods, and Thom Yorke’s vocal range is incredible. Plus the lyrics are extremely evocative and spot-on for the scene they cover. It’s not entirely clear to me if we actually hear the Flaming Creatures perform parts of it as well, or if they are just lip-synching for the sake of flow between scenes, but in any case, it was very well chosen.

Satellite of Love ✨ Lou Reed (with David Bowie)

Flavor profile: fluffy-sweet layers with a little crunch on top

Another happy-making song for me, although I can eventually get tired of listening to it (doesn’t help that I have it on Lou Reed’s Transformer too). I love that Bowie collaborated on the background vocals and enjoy singing along while I imagine Curt and Brian in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

Gimme Danger ✨Iggy Pop

as sung by Ewan McGregor

Flavor profile: this may mangle your jaw and sear off your tastebuds but you will still crave it 😵

Seriously, why didn’t they include this on the OST album??? it is my opinion that if they had to pick one Iggy Pop song, they should’ve gone with Gimme Danger instead of T.V. Eye. The Iggy Pop original is good too but it doesn’t have quite the same feeling of angst and emotional oomph that Ewan’s does. I guess it doesn’t have the same level of shock value as T.V. Eye, but melodically and thematically I think it’s a much better song.  It is a crying shame that this performance was overlooked and I still hold hope in my heart that the Ewan recording is in storage somewhere, eventually to be released into the world. (Todd Haynes, take note).

Ballad of Maxwell Demon ✨ Shudder to Think 

as sung by Jonathan Rhys Meyers / Craig Wedren

Flavor profile: a tall glass of rainbow dusted in glitter and charcoal

I have mixed feelings about this track because I can’t decide which version I like better. In general, I’m not a huge fan of JRM’s voice, but for this particular song, it fits the off-kilter he-might-kill-you-in-an-instant tone of the music video so well, it might actually be the better version. I don’t know… feel free to fight me on this, I might just change my mind. Again. But as for the song itself, the lyrics are so nonsensical they're borderline iconic. I mean, "the slap on my ass by a lipstick-kissed elbow glove"?

Top 5 for Sheer Vibes

Velvet Spacetime ✨ Carter Burwell (both versions)

Flavor profile: a smorgasbord of far-out sounds

Speaking of vacillating, I am pretty certain that there are two versions of this track, one of which we hear only briefly during the film. I like the OST version just fine because of how melodic and relaxing it is, but I wish they’d included the film version, which sounds more ominous and gritty. I think it appears during one of the “Arthur hot on the trail” scenes, when he’s walking to the subway or something? Anyway, FANTASTIC vibes from a film composer I’ve learned to love over the years.

2HB ✨ Roxy Music

as performed by Thom Yorke and The Venus in Furs

Flavor profile: a fizzy Bellini-style cocktail made with passionfruit and the finest champagne

This is such an interesting song from start to finish, and is used to beautiful effect in the film. My favorite version of course is the one with Jack Fairy at the end, during the Death of Glitter concert. “Your cigarette traces a ladder” is probably one of my favorite lyrics from the entire film – SO poetic.

20th Century Boy ✨ T.Rex 

as performed by Placebo

Flavor profile: the chunkiest hunk of brittle you’ve ever sunk your teeth into

This song is just so perfect in every way, both in the film and on the OST. I find the melody a bit repetitive and the lyrics boring, which is why I didn’t include in my top faves list, but Placebo’s delivery of it is smashing, right down to the chunky guitar riffs at the very end. Leaves me with chills every time.

The Whole Shebang ✨ Grant Lee Buffalo

Flavor profile: a little bland until the bubbles start popping

A fluffy little song, but I love singing along with the chorus, and it’s a great fit for where it appears in the film. (Note to Todd Haynes and co: can we see the whole music video please? I love JRM’s Elvis-like sneer and head wobbles so much).

Needle in the Camel’s Eye ✨ Brian Eno

Flavor profile: sharp, sweet, sassy lemon

Also an interesting song to me, and one that fits the mood of the opening credits scene like a glove. With repeat listenings I’ve come to believe that even though it comes in hard with those brassy guitar chords, it’s actually not a very heavy song. The sheer joy and simplicity of it really shines through and captures the euphoric feeling of running through the streets with your best mates so well. I’m not even bothered by how repetitive the melody is, because each repetition brings something new with it.

NB: I’d never heard of Eno before and was intrigued to discover that snippets from a couple of his other songs were included in the film (Dead Finks and Fat Lady). They are more curiosities to me than anything I truly love, but I sometimes enjoy listening to them all the way through just for the hell of it.

Top 5 for that Retro Flavor

Do You Want to Touch Me (Oh Yeah!) ✨ Gary Glitter Joan Jett

Flavor profile: velvety-smooth with a little grit and spice sprinkled in

I do like the original version of this track but have a hard time stomaching the thought of supporting the original singer in any way. Thank goodness for Joan Jett’s excellent cover version!

Virginia Plain ✨ Roxy Music

Flavor profile: also smooth as velvet but with no grit to speak of, just bright fruity flavor

This song is pure fun from start to finish and matches the tone of the scene perfectly. I especially love how it ends right at the moment when Shannon is being introduced to the entourage.

Cosmic Dancer ✨  T.Rex

Flavor profile: warm and milky goodness

A delicately winding journey of a song. I love the soft intimacy of Mandy doing Brian’s makeup during it – wish we had one of those scenes for her and Jack or Curt too.

Ladytron ✨ Roxy Music

performed by Thom Yorke and The Venus in Furs

Flavor profile: can I say chocolate? Stoneground, with both sugar and spice of course.

This song grew on me, thanks in part to the distant bewitching intro before the quavering vocals set in. The guitar solos provide fire for the sex scene between Brian and Mandy, and I like how it fades out at the end (unlike the actual ending of their relationship).

Tumbling Down ✨ Steve Harley

as performed by Jonathan Rhys Meyers and The Venus in Furs

Flavor profile: whipped syllabub with bombastic notes of cherry and lime

This scene with JRM alone and gussied up as Maxwell Demon is possibly the most dramatic finale for a character I’ve ever seen in film or theatre, and I’ve seen a fair amount of both. His rendition of the song doesn’t quite seize me by the heart like other versions I’ve heard (especially the live Steve Harley version with guitar, harmonica and little else), but the musical backing more than makes up for it, along with the tawdry glamor and sparkle of costume and set. The song feels both retro and timeless somehow, despite (or because of?) the nonsensical lyrics, and I find myself singing them every now and then without quite knowing why. RIP Maxwell Demon.

Honorable Mentions

Sebastian ✨ Steve Harley

as sung by Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Flavor profile: a vanilla bean dipped in confectioner's sugar

This song gives me mixed feelings. On the one hand, it has the somber and dirge-like melody that doesn't always sit well with me, but on the other hand, something about JRM’s delivery of it, of Brian’s cool gaze over an audience that doesn’t quite despise him but definitely doesn’t appreciate his unique brand of showmanship, lingers with me. “Your lips ruby blue” – now there’s a line that’s hard to forget.

Diamond Meadows ✨ T.Rex

Flavor profile: huckleberry crumble with blobs of cream

It took me a little while to come around to this song, but I now think it underscores the Brian and Curt doll scene quite well. Childlike, bordering on naughty, and repeating in endearing loops until it abruptly cuts itself short. (That might describe much of Marc Bolan’s opus, come to think of it).

Symphony No. 6 in A Minor ✨ Gustav Mahler

Flavor profile: less of a flavor and more like a whiff of buttery, mouthwatering mystery

I didn’t recognize this as a Mahler piece for a while, but the clip played during Jack’s slow descent down the stairs at the Sombrero, and the following scene of him under intense scrutiny in the restaurant, fits SO well. Carter Burwell or whoever managed to interweave Mahler with 60s soul, glam rock stylings, and the Spacetime theme in the span of just a few minutes was at the top of their game. 💋

@25yearsofvelvetgoldmine

#ok now I'm craving dessert #or a good stiff drink #if a mix were a menu... #friyay #25yearsofvelvetgoldmine #velvet goldmine

[cowboyshit]

me: *literally the only tattoo I have is the heartagram*

me, listening to HIM solely for the first time in years: holy fuck I forgot how good this shit is

#that reblog about what albums you can listen to without skipping a song #made me realize I’ve listened to one or two songs from him I have in my library #but I haven’t just. listen to him alone #in so long??? #so I went and started listening to XX and 😩😩😩 #fuck I forgot how much I love him #how did I forget how much I love them???? honestly #my ONLY tattoo is a him tattoo #I mean. I got it because of what the heartagram can represent #(love + pain = life) #but also I got it cause I love him #and at the time I was Obsessed #anyways this has nothing to do with anything 😌 #ashleys talking again #bless you if you read all these tags hope you’re having a beautiful night #not wrestling related #edit later: hahaha I just got to ‘right here in my arms’ #and omg. I remember being 17 and my bf at the time (who was my first love) sent that song to me #and said it always made him think of me #that one and not like the other girls by the rasmus #*sighs* #oh the nostalgia is hitting hard tonight #back when I was a lil emo scene girl #with my emo boyfriend #us against the world #for more evidence how emo we were he also dedicated check yes juliet by we the kings to our relationship #cause my family didn’t want me with him #awwwww :’) wittle ashley who went from cowgirl to emo scene girl akdkflg #I love looking back at my periods of growth #anyways NOW if you got to the end of THESE tags wow bravo I love you drink some water and take care of yourself

[suchalonelysunflower]

Over And Out (l.h)

End Up Here - Part 4

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A tour. A secret relationship. And rumors only grow...

Warnings: Angst, mild smut. Mentions of harassment, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, creepy men, jealousy, alcohol, cheating, fighting, sexism, and many frustrations. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 10k

Author’s Note: this is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever written, I believe. Next part will be up on March 14th. Remember that Reblogs, Fedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3

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lukehemmings and away and away we go ✈️

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5sosfan4eva THEY ARE TOTALLY DATING

↪️ calumlovesash I hope they’re not 🤢 she was much better with Madden or Josh. At least they’re famous

yn5sos I’m changing seats with Michael

↪️ lukehemmings @yn5sos 🥺

*

@5sos EUROPE ARE YOU READY?!

“I can’t believe we’re already here!” Y/N cheered as they got to the hotel.

It’s been a month on the road already and they finally had a few days to rest before traveling to yet another destination. They had the idea of doing a tour to promote not only their new singles and tease the album release that’s bound to happen next year, and it ended up being one of the most incredible ideas they had after spending almost a year without doing shows.

They started with a small tour in Europe, then they will move on back home in Australia for a couple of shows, and then the big finale in the United States where most of their shows were already sold out. By that time, the fans would’ve already listened to the new songs and be even more hyped for the new album.

Luke was the newbie on tour, this not being the first time he traveled away from home, but the first time he did it with people he cared about. He was having the time of his life with Y/N, the boys, and their s.o. It all felt like a dream. He was actually living the life of a rockstar on his summer break, even if most of the things they did they had to keep it a secret.

When Y/N invited Luke on tour there was no way he would’ve said no to her - not just because he pretty much can’t say no to her, but that’s another story.

She said she wanted to take it slow and that was exactly what they were doing. They didn’t put a label on whatever they had going on, but rather they enjoyed the moment stealing kisses and nights whenever they could.

They would sneak out into each other's rooms late at night, longing to be closer. They would spend hours upon hours tangled in the sheets, loving each other and sharing whatever was on their minds at the time. Making those moments their own amid their borrowed time between destinations. A moment for the two of them.

Luke found it weird at the beginning; hiding their relationship from the world until it became official. But these last few months he could see a change in Y/N, she seemed happier, more open to talking about her feelings and her past. He understood that this was important to her, to live a normal life until she feels ready to share it.

If time is what she needed, time is what she’ll get.

The boys and their girlfriends were all supportive. They too understood the importance of keeping some things private as well as the changes in Y/N’s behavior. They were all happy to see their friend back, just in time for tour.

But it was almost impossible to control what was put in the media. The fans already know who Luke is and that he spends a lot of time with the members of their favorite band. They speculate about his relationship with Y/N, creating rumors that even though he wants to, he can’t confirm nor deny. And when it came to the media outlets, those were much, much worse.

They didn’t say much about him “The privilege of being normal” Said Calum once. But they did have a lot to say about Y/N…

“Y/N L/N is back at it again with a new man?!”

“No tears this time? Y/N L/N Caught smiling and getting cuddly with a member of her team! Can she mix work and pleasure?”

“Serial heartthrob Y/N L/N seen with other men while still refusing to talk about her most recent break-up? Sounds fishy to me!”

“What was she thinking?! Y/N L/N was spotted in an outing with his “new friend” wearing very thin shorts and a crop top. Not so family-friendly apparently”

Horrible things were written about her every day but she ignored them as if they didn’t exist. Luke wished he could do the same.

Every little article, tweet, or comment about Y/N made his blood boil. It was clear that they were completely made up to be some “big news” when the reality was far from that and they kept disrespecting them and their relationship even if it was still on the down-low.

But Luke could not stop reading them. It was addictive how he couldn’t resist clicking on her name every time it popped out, not because of some morbid reasoning behind it, but because those articles seemed to know more about Y/N than Luke himself. People kept talking about a past he didn’t know she had. Were those made up as well? Or are they based on reality? Would he be able to know the difference?

Truth was, he couldn’t. He loves Y/N blindly, he got to know her in one of the most genuine ways but it feels like that is not enough. It’s almost like she is living a secret life he doesn’t get to know.

He wonders when it will end. This seemingly permanent stage of seating on the sidewalk, waiting for the light to turn green so they could walk freely into their relationship. Where people will support them, respect her and let them be happy. But that could never happen when she’s the one who doesn’t want to move.

Luke respects that she is not ready to talk, as she said time and time again. But he just couldn’t comprehend how she, right now, could be so at peace while her name is thrown through the mud and back. Smiling with the boys as they take pictures for promo while management arranges the check-in. Does she not know what they are saying about her or she just accepts it without any retribution?

He was asking himself all these questions as he watched her so happy, his mind tormenting him with a dark cloud over their sunny day. He wants to protect her, but he doesn’t know how or if she would even let him.

And yes, maybe that was selfish of him. Banging on a closed-door with his heart in his hands. But what about the person with the key and the lock? Aren't they a little bit selfish too?

“Hey!” He heard Kat said as she sat beside him, nudging her shoulder against his.

Luke turned to her, his eyebrow still locked in a frown as he muttered a little “hey”

The blonde girl scrunched her nose at him “Yikes, what's happening that it has you all worked up, buddy?”

Luke pressed his lips on a thin line as his eyes traveled back at Y/N. She was laughing at something Ashton had said when she turned to look at him.

Y/N smiled, winking at him as she waved. Luke stared at her for a while, a small smile playing on his lips as he raised his hand in acknowledgment. He could feel his heart skipping a beat every time their eyes met, but the dark feelings in his mind made his expression turn sour the moment Y/N turned around again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the girl sitting next to him.

“You read them again, didn’t you?” Kat asked, already knowing the answer just by looking at how his shoulders tensed the moment she asked it.

They were all aware of the tabloids and the stories, being a regular occurrence to them, but not for Luke. They all knew this was new to him as well and how overwhelming it might be. So they all tried to ground him as much as possible, not letting him get affected by it as he had before.

“Now why are they saying that?!” He spat as he threw his cellphone on the leather couch, calling the boy's attention.

It was a normal day at the studio. They were all getting lunch as they laid back in the break room while Y/N and their girls went out to get them coffee.

Calum was the first one to speak, confused by his friend's sudden outburst “Uh, what exactly? And who?”

“This!” He said, grabbing his phone and tossing it at Calum. The rest of the boys gathered around as Luke plopped himself down on the couch.

Ashton began to read out loud “Seeing the growing rumors of Y/N’s mystery man, here’s a list of every guy we wished would date her”

“Okay that’s fucked up,” Michael said, swallowing his food.

“It’s better than the last one…”

“What?!” Luke asked, outraged that there are worse things out there.

“Dude, chill,” Calum said, “We understand this is beyond fucked, especially now that you’re dating or whatever. But you getting this angry at it won’t solve anything”

“Won’t solve anything?!” He said in a loud tone “That’s my girl they’re talking about. My girl dating other guys while she’s with me!”

“But they don’t know that,” Michael argued.

Luke shook his head, taking his phone back from Calum’s hands as he started typing furiously.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?! Letting them know that they can go fuck themselves” Luke answered, eyes still on the phone, a second away from pressing send before Calum snatched his phone.

“No!” He said “You are not going to out your relationship without her consent!”

“But-“

“Plus, I already took care of it,” Ashton said, holding his phone up “I tweeted at them telling them how incredibly disrespectful they’re being, now the fans are onto them and I already messaged management to deal with it”

“And that’s it?” Luke’s eyes winded “That’s all you’re gonna do?”

“That’s all we can do right now,” Ashton said with a sigh, sitting next to it “We know these situations suck, they’re horrible and dehumanizing and we are glad more people are realizing just how shitty the media is. But if we respond to every rumor there is it’s going to be a never endless battle, it’s going to backfire. We know, we tried”

“But all the stories are aimed against her” Luke said, running a hand through his face with frustration clear in his eyes “She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Why do you think that is?” Michael chimed in “Think about Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears… They aim for women because they think are easy to kill”

“Which they’re not. It makes them stronger somehow. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if I was them” Calum said “Women are stronger than you think when it comes to this, Y/N included”

“We’ve been living with this kind of shit show for years. We defended her with knives and teeth, dragging every single outlet that posted something against her. But that shit only made it worse for her”

“They loved the attention they were receiving” Ashton’s voices laid with sarcasm “Every interaction we had they profited from it, creating even more rumors, one worse than the other, just so they could have the clicks. Eventually, Y/N asked us to stop defending her publicly and she decided to ignore it altogether”

“But we still fight for her, though. We flag the post, demand they take it down, talk to PR and management for damage control, and even sue for defamation a couple of times. She’s never got to go through any of that on her own, we wouldn’t have allowed it”

“And what am I supposed to do, then?” Luke asked, a mix of frustration and desperation filled his voice “Just do nothing?”

“Be there for her” Calum answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world “Support her. Love her. Comfort her. Whatever she needs. She’s a strong woman, one of the strongest we know. But there will come a time when she will have to lean on someone, and you have to be there and ready for her. She trusts you. Don’t let her down”

Kath placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder, understanding the man’s pain.

“I just-“ He said with a sigh “She never reads them, you know? The articles. But I do, I can’t help it. They seem to know more about her than me and that’s just-“

“Fucked?”

“Yeah,” He said as he took a long breath “I don’t know… I’m trying. This is all very new to me and she’s a professional at dealing with this kind of shit. But at the same time, she never tells me anything, how she feels about them or if they’re real or not. It’s fucking me up”

Kat hummed “And I assume you don’t ask her about it either”

The girl crooked an eyebrow at Luke, seemingly seeing through him “I- I don’t want to push”

She sighed and patted his shoulder “Let me tell you something, Luke. From girlfriend of a celebrity to the boyfriend of a celebrity” She started, earning Luke’s complete attention “When I started dating Calum we decided to keep it private, out of the eyes of the media and even from some of his friends. It was good at the beginning, great even! But the heart is ambitious and it always ends up wanting more. We fought a lot during those times, part of us wanting to hold on to what we had but at the same time longing for some kind of freedom. In the end, we did end up going public, as you know. We endure a lot of hate, we still do. But we knew what we were up against, you’re still trying to figure that out. But I’m telling you to know there is something you’re lacking”

“And what is that?” Luke asked with curiosity.

“Communication” Kat smiled sweetly at him “How do you expect to reach a meeting point while you’re sitting here in your own dark cloud and she’s over there with no clue of what’s happening with you and vice versa?”

The blonde girl got up from her seat next to him, giving him one last piece of advice before walking towards Calum “Don’t give up before you try. No one said it was going to be easy but, it’s your choice to see if it’s worth it”

Luke watched her walk away, rousing her arms around Calum’s waist as she smiled sweetly at him, giving him a small peck. Luke smiled at their love.

He thought about their friends, how in love they are with their partners and how free they are to love publicly, facing the retaliations of being in the public eye. But they seemed happy, they were happy. And he realized he wanted that for him and Y/N.

His mind drifted off to the possibility of going public, cleaning the air once and for all. No more “mysterious guy” or “Y/N’s possible secret lover” he’d be Luke Hemmings, the proud boyfriend of singer Y/N L/N. They could be happier, free. They could fight those rumors together and face the stormy weather that would come. He’d defend her until the end of times, protecting her with his life and supporting her in everything she does. He wanted that for them. But it wasn’t his sole choice to make.

“Babe!” He heard Y/N call.

She was walking up to him, a playful smile on her face as the nickname rolled off her tongue. She was wearing one of his hoodies, making her look small as she approached him.

He noticed that her eyes were shining, lately, they always did and he couldn’t get enough of them. He could get lost in her eyes willingly, throwing away the map and making himself home.

He loved her. Oh, he was so in love with her he didn’t even know what to do. The more he thought about it, the more sure he was about wanting to love her freely. He just wished she thought about it too.

“I got our keys” She smiled, pulling two cards out of her back pocket.

“Oh?” Luke asked playfully with a grin drawn into his face “And where am I supposed to sleep this week?”

In order not to create any suspicion about their relationship, they decided that Luke will have his own hotel room on tour - even though everyone knows that’s not where he sleeps or where he wakes up in the mornings. Usually “Luke’s room” is used to store the extra luggage they carry.

Y/N fake pouted “Sadly, Mr. Hemmings. Your room is at the other end of the hall”

Luke gasped “That far away?! Is there any way I can be… closer?”

The girl bit her lip as she rounded her arm around his waist, standing on her tippy toes as she softly whispered in his ear “Let’s see what I can do about that, Sir”

Y/N giggled as she heard Luke let out a soft groan, pecking his cheek with a small kiss as she stood in front of him again “Baby, you’re going to be the death of me” He said, trying to get a hold of her by her waist. But she was quicker, swiftly moving a step back as she started walking towards the elevators. One last look over her shoulder got him grabbing their things as he followed her without any questions.

The elevator ride is quiet, the beating of their hearts being the soundtrack to their wait as they reached their floor. Y/N didn't look at him as she walked towards the door, unlocking it with one swift movement of the wrist and leaving it open for Luke to come in after her.

When he opened the door, she was nowhere in sight. He wondered if she hid somewhere, this not being the first time she would jump and scare the shit out of him. But then, his ears picked up a soft humming coming through the bathroom door, and with a devilish smile he let their luggage at the side of the closet, he locked the door and made his way to her.

Y/N was humming one of her favorite songs when Luke caught her reflection in the mirror but she was not looking at him. She was putting some lotion in her hands, fingers tracing up until her upper arm with barely-there touches.

“Remember we have a party in a couple of hours, Hemmings,” She said when she felt him getting closer “We should get ready soon” He just hummed in agreement, not really paying attention to her words.

Softly, he placed his hands on either side of her hips, pulling her closer to him. Y/N kept ignoring him as she dried the excess of product out of her hands and it wasn’t until Luke pushed away some of her hair and started kissing along her neck that she finally gave him a proper response to his action.

Luke smirked as he felt her let out a shaky breath as his lips traced the shell of her ear, kissing it softly before moving lower and lower, kissing and sucking on her skin as slow as he could, making her tremble under his touch.

“Luke,” She said, holding her breath as she felt his calloused hands travel under the hoodie she was wearing. His hoodie. The one that always smelt like him.

“Hmm?” He asked, not stopping his movements for a second.

“We- uhm” The girl stuttered in a whisper when his hands started touching her over her bra, softly rolling over the nipples and making them hard “We should - oh - we should start getting ready soon”

“We should, huh?” He asked, voice raspy and low “It will be rude to go a little bit late. Wouldn’t it?”

Y/N let out a sigh when his hands left her breasts, trying to regain her breath before she lost it all over again when his fingers started playing with the hem of her jeans.

His fingers wandered carefully, fiddling with the button and zipper until they weren’t an issue. His lips grazed her neck up and down, kissing it softly as his fingertips finally reached her center.

She let out a soft moan when she felt him over her panties, tracing her lips over them and feeling her arousal “I’m sure they could wait a little bit longer” He said as he pressed a finger to her clit over the fabric “We need to take care of a few problems before that, don’t you think?”

He pressed his hips onto her, a soft whimper escaping her mouth when she felt his growing erection against her.

“So wet for me, my love” He groaned as her hand flew to the top of his hair, trying to find balance as she tugged on his curls “Always so beautiful for me”

“Luke-“

He opened his eyes just in time to catch her staring at him through the mirror with a desperate look in her eyes. It took him less than a second to spin her around and press her against the countertop, ceasing his lips into her like she was his last meal on earth.

She tangled her hands behind his head, fingers deep into his hair as he grabbed her by the back of her thighs, easily lifting her off and taking her to the king-size bed where they made sure to lose track of time between kisses and moans as they satisfied their needs with each other, over and over again until they fell through the abyss of pleasure together, whispering sweet confessions as their breath went back to normal.

It was easy to say that they were the last ones to reach the lobby. What was hard for them to ignore was the knowing looks and teasing smiles from their friends that were waiting for them for a good amount of time.

“Don’t say anything” Y/N threatened Ashton as he opened his mouth. But he just laughed

“If you want Luke to walk around with his fly open then sure, I’ll keep my mouth shut”

*

The ride to the party was filled with laughter and chit-chats. They were all in a great mood to finally have a mini-break in between shows and what better way to celebrate it than at a big party?

Luke stole glances from Y/N as she talked to Bethany. She looked beautiful with her black dress, making Luke proud and a little bit snug about him being the one who would take her home afterward.

But he knew that after tonight they needed to talk. And not “talk” like they usually do. No, this time he was going to express his concerns to her, his hopes for them, and confess his love for her over and over again. He wanted her to know how he feels, he needed to know where they stand and what she needs to feel more comfortable and what he can do to help her feel at ease.

He just needs reassurance, something to hold on to while he provides the same for her. In the end, he knew they would be okay.

After a few minutes, they reached the house of the host. Luke marveled at the mansion that stood proudly in front of him. When Y/N mentioned a party with some label associates, she never mentioned that the party was going to be hosted by the president and owner of the label.

He felt Y/N tug on his hand a couple of times before separating herself from him and going to stand next to the girls.

For a moment Luke forgot that they needed to keep appearances and couldn’t be together romantically in public. He could feel his heart aching as he watched her walk away with her friends, laughing together as they stepped into the party.

“Hey,” Michael said behind him, following the eyes of the sad man next to him “It’s just one night”

He tried to be comforting, but all Luke could wonder was: Would it be just for a night?

The party was wild. That’s the first thought everyone has in their minds as they step through those doors into a world of darkness mixed with neon lights, smoke machines, and three open bars scattered around the hall. People were separated into groups: The ones who were too drunk to stop dancing, the ones not drunk enough to start dancing, and the ones who were networking their way into the industry.

Everyone that was someone was at that party. Producers, artists, songwriters, performers, agents… You name it. It was a party for the big leagues and Luke could not help but feel out of place the moment he stepped foot into the scene.

“Hey! 5 Seconds of Summer. C’mere!” A voice called over the music.

Standing not too far from them there was a man, his bald head shined under the lights as he held a drink to his lips, beckoning the band to come over.

Y/N and the guys started walking towards the man without a second to wait, leaving Luke and their girlfriends to witness the interaction from afar.

“Who’s that?” Asked Luke, getting closer to Danielle as they watched their partners laugh with a bunch of men who were now surrounding the band.

“That’s Anthony Kellinghs” She answered, swiftly grabbing a drink from one of the trays carried by the passing waitresses “He’s one of the big bosses in the industry. Ashton said his team approached them not too long ago to see if they would be interested in changing labels and work with them”

Luke glanced back to the group. Y/N was standing next to Calum, talking about something that made Anthony smile even though her face was serious. He did not like the way that man was looking at her.

Anthony laughed loudly, making other guests turn his face towards them. Y/N and the boys shared a confused gaze as they laughed awkwardly along with him. The bald man kept laughing, clearly intoxicated as he lowered his hand and rounded his arm around Y/N’s waist.

Luke’s breath got caught in his lungs as he watched how Y/N’s body movements came to a halt and her eyes widened in discomfort, her smile seemed stiff but she didn't stop laughing or talking to the guy. Luke could feel his blood boil as he watched his girl in the arms of someone else, acting like nothing was happening and that everything was fine, in front of him.

“What the fuck?” He muttered under his breath. Debating on whether he should go and punch that dude in the face. No matter how important he was in the industry, he wanted him away from Y/N immediately.

But he didn’t move and neither did Y/N. Luke didn’t know if it was because she physically couldn’t or because…

No, he rejected that thought immediately. It was clear to him by her eyes that she was desperate to get away from his touch. And apparently not only to him because the moment that man put his hands around her Ashton and Michael called his attention away from her, moving a few steps back so Y/N could have more space to free herself the moment she could. Calum had his eyes on her, too, with his arm placed to his side as if he were to take her away from there at any second.

Yet the man did not move an inch away from her. Instead, his hand trailed lower with every word he spoke, until Luke couldn’t see it anymore. All he could see what’s Y/N’s uncomfortable face as she suddenly jumped forward, fear written all over her eyes.

Luke let out a curse as he took a step forward, ready to beat that man’s face to dust. But he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait!” Danielle said, eyes locked on the scene played in front of them.

Luke stared ahead and let out a breath of relief when he saw Calum taking Y/N away from the group and towards the bar, seemingly excusing themselves to get a drink. He saw how his friend’s arm rounded around her shoulders, making it impossible for her to look back and for anyone else to notice her face as they walked away with no intentions of coming back.

Luke lost sight of them as he watched them disappear into the party. “Good,” he thought “At least she’ll be safe and away from him” But that thought did not calm the rage he felt towards the creep that dared touch her in front of her friends.

“I’m going to kill him” He hissed, once again trying to step forwards but once again being pushed back by Ashton’s girl.

“The guys got it covered,” She said, her sweet voice laced with a warning as she whispered loud enough for only them to hear “They will handle it and make sure they never work with that man, ever. It’s not the first time this has happened”

“This happened before?!” Luke said, attracting some curious eyes to him. But he couldn’t care less about it at the moment.

The girls looked at each other and then at Luke. How could they explain to the man that this happens more times than Y/N would be able to admit? They knew first hand how the industry was full of creeps and disgusting men, having dealt with them in the past as well, but Y/N…

She was the front girl, the main focus of attention. She was beautiful, talented, hot… that’s all they saw, never caring about her caring personality, or how intelligent she was, how she was the driven force of 5SOS. She was more than her looks, she was a girl trying to live her dreams. But men only seem to see one thing.

“I’m going to check on them,” Kat said as she walked towards where Calum disappeared with Y/N. Bethany mentioned going to Michael to try and make them get away from the conversation they were still having with that fucker.

And Luke stood there, not able to do anything “Y/N wouldn’t want you to cause a scene, that’s why the boys never do it anymore. She knows how important image is for all of them and a scandal is the last thing they need right now. Especially if some “random dude” goes and punch one of the biggest names in the industry”

Danielle was right and he hated that. He hated that he couldn’t do anything to defend his girl because she didn’t want to be defended. But the fact that she knew how to handle these kinds of things didn’t make it any less wrong or difficult for him to ignore. More so because their relationship was still kept a secret.

Luke couldn’t help but think that maybe if people knew they were together, things like these wouldn’t happen. After all, the only thing men like Anthony respected was the presence of another man.

Ashton and Michael returned after a minute, both of them with their jaws clenched and eyes filled with the same feeling of powerless Luke felt.

“Where is she?” Ashton asked, standing beside Dani and holding her close by the waist, almost as if he were scared something might happen to her.

“Kat went to check on them, they still haven’t returned,” She said, comforting her boyfriend by running her hand up and down his arm.

“This is bullshit” Luke murmured, frustration lacing his voice as he grabbed one drink from one of the waitresses and drowned it in one go without flinching. He turned around and started walking away from the group.

“Where are you going?” Michael asked, half concerned and half furious from him walking away at this moment.

“I need air” He answered as he took another drink and walked through the garden doors. Not even sparing a glance back when Y/N called his name as she watched him go.

Luke spent most of the night going back and forwards between the main hall and the garden. He drank whatever was being offered to him and sat down on a bench as he watched the casual smokers come outside, accompanying him from a distance.

He knew he was being childish. He didn’t understand much about the industry, nor how people that worked in it were. All Luke knew was that Y/N was nothing like them; she was not greedy, nor was she a creep, she wasn’t evil or ill-hearted and she didn’t deserve what happened.

He wanted to be with her, apologize for his shitty behavior, and tell her that he loved her. Because he did. He loved her with all his heart and it hurts him to see her like that. But every time he stepped through those doors back to the main hall - every time more intoxicated than the others - she was nowhere to be found. Or she didn’t want to be found, but that didn’t stop Luke from looking for her.

And every time, wherever he found her, she would have company. Sometimes she would be with the boys and their girlfriends laughing along with some other group of people - usually men - that stood a little too close and personal with her. Other times she would be on her own, talking to some guy or girl he didn’t know, too preoccupied with her conversation to even notice Luke standing at a distance, looking at her with longing eyes as he tried to find the courage to talk to her.

Then, he would go back to the bar, order his drink and go back outside or with the group, tightening the grip on his glass as he watched the girl he loves being swept away in conversations he couldn’t be a part of, after all, he was just one of the composers and her friend. Nothing else.

The guys and their girlfriends tried to cheer him up, including him in conversations and inviting him to dance. They knew how new this was to him, having to remind themselves every once in a while when they caught his sad eyes dancing across the room on the looks of his fleeting love.

“She came looking for you a few minutes ago while you were outside,” Dani told him the third time he came by the group.

“Why didn’t she go out with me?” He asked, eyes on Y/N as she talked to Michael and one of the producers they met in London a few years back.

“She was going to,” Ashton chimed in “She walked over there but I think Niall caught wind of her and they started to catch up”

Luke clenched his jaw at the thought of Y/N with other men. His mind couldn’t help but to go back to all those articles about her exes, her possible new partners, her possible future partners. Cheating scandals, break-up songs, parties where she didn’t leave alone… All the things she refused to acknowledge came to the surface, hitting Luke in the face as he realized that they might not all be lies.

He hated to think about her that way, to think that he didn’t trust her enough or that she didn’t trust him enough or whatever the fuck was wrong with them. But as he saw how Y/N hugged a stranger, all his thoughts went out the window.

“Who is that?” He asked no one in particular.

“Who?” Bethany asked in response, following Luke’s stare towards her friend “Oh, that’s Josh”

“Josh? As in Josh Benthlow? Her ex?”

Beth furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the look of pure rage on the blonde’s eyes “Uh, yeah? But you got something wrong there” She said, “They never dated”

Y/N laughed at something Josh said, pushing him playfully on the shoulder as he kept telling his story. Luke recognized the look in his eyes; it was the same way he used to look at Y/N when they first met: Pure adoration. And, he didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his system that was making him see things that weren’t there, but he could swear he saw Y/N flirt back at him.

“Friends don’t act like that” He spat, taking another sip from his drink, already losing count of how many he had that night.

“Hey!” Beth called his attention, taking the drink from him “That’s enough now. Alcohol is making you act like a complete asshole”

“I-”

“I don’t care.” She said, interrupting whatever he had to say before he even said it “Look, I get that you’re getting used to all of this. But you need to stop with the jealous act right this instant. She’s famous, yes, they all are and that means that you will have to share her with the world whether you like it or not. It’s her dream after all, and besides Y/N would never do something like that to hurt you and you know it”

Did he?

Not long after the group decided to go back to the hotel, having already stayed at that party longer than necessary given that they have a show the next day. The ride back was quiet, everyone either being too tired to even speak or too smart to try and cut the tension that was being created by the new couple’s behavior. Even when Y/N sat next to Luke he didn’t acknowledge her, keeping his eyes looking outside the window the whole car ride.

Y/N was one of the first ones to get out of the car, walking up to the elevators and not waiting for anyone as the doors closed.

Luke clenched his jaw as he contemplated not going to their room tonight, fighting with the feeling of not wanting to see her and the feeling of never wanting to let her go.

“You need to go there right now,” Calum said, taking a step next to Luke but not looking in his eyes “Having been her friend for so long I can see that she’s upset… Nah, fuck that. Even idiots can see that she’s upset”

Luke scoffed “She’s the one that’s upset?” Voice laced with sarcasm.

Calum hummed “Guess not every idiot can see that” He pressed the button of the elevator and hoped in with Kat, not waiting for Luke as the door closed in his face, but not before saying “You’re not the only one hurting, you know?”

It took another 20 minutes for Luke to open the door of their room. Again, Y/N was nowhere to be seen, but the light coming from under the closed bathroom door let him know that she was there.

He sat at the edge of the bed, hands covering his face as he now wished he hadn't drunk as much as he did. His head was spinning, he couldn’t decipher if it were because of the alcohol or because of his intrusive thoughts that wouldn’t leave his head.

Y/N got out of the bathroom for what it felt like an eternity later. She was wearing her Spongebob pajama and her hair was tied in a messy bun. Her makeup-less face looked tired as she didn’t glance at Luke before sitting by her side of the bed.

They stayed in silence for another five minutes before she decided to speak.

“Are we going to talk about tonight?” She said, voice neutral of any emotion.

Luke scoffed “Now you want to talk?”

She ignored him “I didn’t see you all night, Luke. I was worried”

“Oh, you were?” He mocked with cruel sarcasm as he got up from the bed and started pacing around the room “Funny way to show it you weren’t around!”

“I wasn’t around?! Luke, you spent half the night outside! Every time I came over you were nowhere to be found!”

“And every time I was there you were too busy talking to other people”

“I was working, Luke!” She said with a groan, massaging her temple as she turned to look at him “It’s part of my job to make connections at these kinds of events. And if you didn’t notice, Calum, Ashton, and Michael did the same”

“Well, you must be pretty damn good at your job then!”

Y/N looked at him, shocked by the way he was speaking to her “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Luke was angry at her question. How could she not know? “Why don’t you ask Josh what I mean?”

“Oh my fucking GOD,” She said with the loudest tone he’s ever heard her talk “That’s what this is all about?! He’s a friend!”

“I was a friend, too and we still fucked!” Luke matched her tone of voice, probably waking the people in the room next to theirs.

Y/N laughed humorlessly “You have no right to-”

“And whose fault is that? Huh? Whose fault is that I cannot call you my girlfriend in front of other people? Whose fault is that I have to stand to the side and watch you flirt with every guy on earth just because “it’s your job”?” He asked “Y/N, I’m trying so hard for you to let me in and the only thing you do is push me away! Are you embarrassed by me in any way?”

“No,” She said, finally meeting his eyes and seeing no more anger in them, just an incredible sadness for both of them “No, of course not”

“Then why?” Luke asked, taking a step towards her and cupping her cheek with one hand “Why can’t you let me protect you? Why can’t I be with you freely? I know some things are hard for you to talk about, love. I get that. But I’m drowning here, not knowing what to think or what to say to make you trust me”

Y/N stayed quiet as she looked into his eyes before looking away. Luke sighed.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now. But we’ll have to do it eventually”

“I know,” She said with a string of voice.

“Sorry for the things I said”

“I’m sorry, too”

Luke wanted to kiss her, to comfort her. Even though he is still mad at her, he still has this need to protect her from the wrongs of the world. But she’s got to let him in first.

Instead, Luke placed a kiss on her head and walked towards the bathroom to get changed for the night. When he came back Y/N was already asleep on her side of the bed, her back turned to Luke’s side.

He let out a sigh as he turned off the lights, laying down facing the other side as he murmured a “Good night” Barely missing the soft sniff she gave in response.

The next morning Luke woke up without her by his side. He felt a tug in his heart as he remembered all the things he said to her, the cruel way in which he implied that it was all her fault when both of them had a bit of blame to put in their names. He wouldn’t be surprised if in the middle of the night she decided to leave and sleep somewhere else.

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, ready to give her a call and apologize properly, hoping she’d pick up. But just as he was about to press the call button, the door opened.

Y/N walked in, sandwich and orange juice in hand. A small smile came to her lips when she saw him already awake.

“Hey,” She said softly, almost like if there were someone else in the room that was sleeping “You missed breakfast, so I bought you this. It’s now much but-“

“Thank you,” Luke said with complete honesty.

Y/N nodded, walking up to his nightstand to place the drink and the sandwich. But before she could walk away again, Luke grabbed her softly by the arm.

“Luke-“

“I’m sorry,” He said, his baby blue eyes looking into hers. He was sad to see no emotion in them compared with how shiny they were yesterday before the fight “I didn’t mean it”

Y/N let out a sigh as she sat on the bed next to him “No, you’re not” She said almost resignedly “And yes, you did. And it’s okay, I deserve it”

Luke shook his head, feeling even worse than before “No, Y/N I was out of place and-“

“You were, but that didn’t make your words any less than truthful. I hurt you, Luke. Even without wanting to” She said with a broken voice, but the tears didn’t come “But I want to change that. Tonight, we can talk after the concert. Okay?”

“I don’t want to pressure you” His hand flew to her face, placing a strand of hair behind her back. She smiled softly and kissed the palm of his hand.

“I know, but I want to” Finally, she got up from the bed and started walking into the bathroom, gathering some of her things. “We’ll start early today with some interviews and sound check, and the girls wanted to go shopping so they’ll meet us there. I will send a car for you before the concert and then we’ll talk. Alright?”

She grabbed her back and headed towards the door, giving Luke one last look and a soft smile before she left.

Luke didn't forget how she didn’t kiss him before she closed the door.

*

The day passed by and Luke was still in their room. He sat in front of the table with his notebook and pen, writing up words that, at that moment, reminded him of her.

He didn’t like how they were acting with each other. How quick everything went to shit after last night’s mistakes when words were louder than actions until those words became apologies.

Y/N said he didn’t mean his apology, and deep down he knew it to be true. He regrets the way he told her, admiring that he would have handled things a little better than he did. But he meant what he said about her pushing him away by not communicating. They were both trying but apparently, they sucked at it.

Truth was, there was no one to blame. Truth was, they were both at fault. And, truth was that he would still fall to his knees for her the moment she asked. Because he had never loved someone as much as he loved her.

When the time of the concert was almost upon him, he quickly jumped into the shower, ignoring all the beeps and rings of his phone as his thoughts and hopes filled his mind. He thought about what he was going to say to her, and he hoped that they could finally get past this and leave this whole situation behind; to start over and just be free.

He was putting on his shirt when his phone started beeping again, finally checking it to see what the fuss was all about.

Thousands upon thousands of notification flooded his screen, and they all said the same thing:

“Y/N AND MADDEN BACK TOGETHER?!”

“THE ENCOUNTER OF THE YEAR! MADDEN BANKS AND Y/N L/N SEEN TOGETHER AGAIN TALKING ON THE OUTSIDES OF THE VENUE”

“OMG Y/N X MADDEN SHIPPER REJOICE AS THE COUPLE SEEMS TO HAVE REKINDLED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AFTER CHEATING SCANDAL”

Luke felt as if an elephant was standing on top of his chest, losing his balance and falling to the bed with his phone in hand, unable to look away from his screen. 

His breathing became elaborated as his eyes filled with tears as he read the tweets and article titles. He knew he shouldn’t click on them. He knew. And yet…

“Lead singer of the band 5 Seconds of Summer, Y/N L/N was last seen talking to her ex-boyfriend, Madden Banks, in a secluded alley outside the venue where the band is going to perform their concert tonight. 

We last saw the couple last year around August when Madden announced their breakup after cheating scandals came out to the surface. None of the parties made any comments about it, but it was set to believe that Y/N was the one who committed the mistakes after a set of tweets on Bank’s personal account where it said that he was feeling “broken-hearted” by the situation and he hoped no one had to get through that ever again. 

Now it seems that the past is the past! As Y/N and Madden were caught by paparazzi talking again, and by the looks on both their faces it seemed like their relationship was not over after all! 

We are still waiting for confirmations from either of them but congratulations to the couple ❤️”

A set of pictures were attached to the article. All of them of bad quality and from questionable sources. 

On the first one, you could see Madden smiling with Y/N’s back facing the camera. On the second one, Madden was closer to her, almost cradling her face as if to kiss her. The third picture had Madden pointing out the paparazzi, a surprised expression plastered on his face as Y/N appeared out of focus. The last picture had Y/N walking away with Madden following behind, both of them with angry faces seemingly for being interrupted. 

Luke was gripping on his phone tightly, a sense of rage coming over him as he wiped his tears furiously and walked up the door. Turning off his phone before he could read Y/N’s message:

Y/N: it’s not true! Let me explain…

*

He did not go to the concert that night, nor did he stay in their bedroom, opting for sleeping in the room that was originally assigned to him. 

His emotions walked him into a bar last night, letting him drown his sorrows in alcohol as he slowly drifted away from his senses. He doesn’t remember getting to the hotel, but he does remember not wanting to be with her that night. Feeling betrayed and used, what was the point? 

It was pretty late when he woke up the next morning, too late for Y/N to even be in the hotel knowing that they still needed to do a lot of press before traveling to their next destination. It was sufficient to say that he was not going to go with them. 

He was about to book a flight when he noticed his phone died while being turned off last night. He was in such a rush that he forgot to bring his charger with him, but he felt confident that it was safe for him to go back to her room now that she was gone. He would pack all his things and leave, he was not about to endure any of this shit anymore, no matter how much it hurts him. 

When he opened the door to her room, however, Luke noticed that he was not alone. 

“You didn’t come last night” 

Y/N was standing by the window, looking at the street through the thin curtain, hoping she might catch a glimpse of Luke walking back to her. She was wearing the hotel’s robe and had her hair tied in a ponytail. Her voice was fragile, tired, and broken as if she spent all night crying. 

“Good,” thought Luke “at least we’ll both be miserable” 

Luke didn’t answer that, instead, he just asked “I thought you’d be doing the press tour” 

She shook her head, her back still facing him as she sniffed “I couldn’t go. I didn’t know where you were” 

He would’ve thought it was touching and he might’ve felt bad for her if she hadn’t shattered his heart the night before. So he said nothing. 

“I needed you last night, Luke,” She said, voice a little firmer as she finally turned around. Luke’s heart ached when he saw her delicate figure, she looked sick, pale, and tired. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red from all the crying. Part of him wanted to go to her and hold her, but her betrayal was still too fresh on his skin.

Luke scoffed “Sure you did” He didn’t intend for his voice to sound with such malice, but it was almost as if his tongue had a brain on itself “Was Madden not enough?” 

“Stop,” 

“Is he here?” He asked, voice mocking interest as he walked around the room “C’mon Asshole!” He called, opening the closet doors and walking into the bathroom “You won, motherfucker, you can have her! It’s not like it’s hard anyway” 

Her eyes widened at his words, cheeks turning pink at the realization of the insult “Luke!”

“Was this part of your plan?” He asked, turning towards her with nothing but the rage inside his eyes “To bring me here to make him jealous? To make me fall for you so easily? Is that why we never went public? Ha! Should’ve known you just wanted a free pass to whore around while still making sure you have a secure fuck waiting back at the hotel” 

Y/N froze. Not even Luke could believe the words that were coming out of his mouth, but he was too far gone in his own anger to process them or to take them back. 

“This is the part where you apologize,” She said, eyes filling with tears she refused to spill. 

“No, this is the part where I tell you to fuck off” Luke spat, taking a step towards her, not realizing how she flinched as she took a step back “You know, I tried so fucking hard for months to make you happy. And every day I read those fucking articles that were talking shit about you and every fucking day I told myself that those weren’t real. That you weren’t like that… surprise, surprise! Looks like the cat is out of the bag. Makes sense! That’s why you never wanted to talk, you never wanted to admit to what you did because you never take any fucking responsibilities for the damages you cause! I thought I knew you, at least some parts of you. Turns out everyone is right about you. Every fucking word of it” 

He turned around, ready to grab his things and go, but the adrenaline was kicking in and he just couldn’t stop.

“Tell Madden that he’s an idiot for taking you back,” He said with his back turned to her “That he should’ve left your cheating ass alone. Let you get what you deserve”

“I never cheated” She mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. 

He scoffed “Yeah, right” 

“I never fucking cheated!” Y/N raised his voice, making Luke turn around to face her. Her face was red with tears and she had her fist clenched to her sides, knuckles white from all the pressure she was putting in.

“I never cheated on Madden! I never fucking cheated on you! On anyone! He cheated on me, repeatedly and with several people for all the course of our relationship! I never touched a person outside ANY of my relationships. I have been nothing but faithful to you and now you’re throwing that shit at me without knowing an ounce of my side of the story?! 

You want to know, Luke, why I never tell the story as it was? Why it’s so fucking hard for me to tell the story even to the people I love?” 

It was a challenge, he knew from the look in her eyes that she was not going to stay quiet any longer. She didn’t even wait for his answer. 

“I was fucking abused, Luke! Physically, mentally, sexually… you fucking name it! During that whole relationship. Want me to tell you the details or you could figure it out yourself?! I was getting beaten almost daily! I had to hide the bruises and cuts in front of the guys as they slowly watched me fall apart. I had to lie to them for YEARS because I genuinely thought he loved me. He said he did so I believed him. It wasn’t until one night where he got too far that I had to tell myself that it was enough. But what could I say? I was so fucking embarrassed I couldn’t go to the media that calls me a liar every chance they have! I couldn’t go to the police because he has money and could easily get away with it! I was so fucking alone until I met you and… You took his side” 

Luke felt like his heart was taking a punch with every word that she said. Every tear that fell off her eyes was like a knife in the back. The guilt was eating him inside out, crashing into him like a tsunami. He should’ve kept his mouth shut, he shouldn’t have let his emotions take the reins, he should’ve... He felt all of his emotions turn to mush, all but shame as he stared into her eyes knowing he was the one who fucked up. 

“Y/N-“

“I needed you last night when he cornered me. I needed you by my side as I broke down backstage because you weren’t answering your phone. How do you think I felt when I came into our room and found it empty? I was ready to tell you everything and then you just decided that wasn’t worth it anymore. That I wasn’t worthy anymore. All without giving me a chance” She cried, shattering sobs running through her body as she remembered the feeling of hopelessness she had “Not only that, but I come to find this on your side of the bed”

She threw his notebook at him, he didn’t need to open it to know what she read. Already regretting leaving it there. 

“Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me or you want me dead.

Some days, you're the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Then you turn into somebody I don't know

And you push me away

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth

Late-night devil, put your hands on me

And never let go” 

She recited the words by memory, having read them over and over again as she waited for him to come back.

“Is that really how you see me, Luke?” She asked, voice broken as she looked into his eyes. 

Luke felt his body tremble with shame as he looked at her. He has never seen her look so sad and fragile before, the smile he loved so much was gone and he knew he might never see it again. He wanted to scream that that’s now how he saw her at all. Those words were written out of frustration, out of anger. He wanted to tell her that she’s the most amazing, loving, strong, intelligent person he know but... how could he even look her in the eyes?

He knew that he went too far. That he should’ve given her a chance to explain what happened instead of just letting the media fill his brain with lies; lies he believed without question because of his insecurities. He broke the strongest girl he’s ever known, but she was still standing. 

Despite the hurt, he caused her, she was still standing in front of him. Demanding answers he doesn’t know how to give. Still being so much braver than him.

“Y/N, I-“ He began, voice breaking as he was left speechless. How could he ask for her forgiveness now that he broke every ounce of trust she held for him? 

“Luke, I think you should leave,” She said, rounding her arms around her torso as she looked back at the window. Unable to hold her gaze to him any longer. 

“No,” Luke begged of her. Pleaded, even “Y/N, baby don’t-“ 

“Leave” She repeated more firmly “If I’m such a monster, the best thing we can do is for you to go home” 

She turned her back to him once again, and he knew that he had just lost the battle he was too scared to even fight.

Y/N cried silent tears as she heard him gather his belongings and pack his bags, feeling as if she might collapse into the floor if she weren’t holding herself too tightly. If she concentrated, she could hear him cry, too, until he closed the last of his bags and walked through the door.

Because, after all, he would still go to the ends of the world if she asked.

.

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash​ @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @girl-toxxic

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[megthemewlingquim]

WATERMELON SUGAR

Summary: Breathe him in, breathe him out.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: very brief smut, (public) oral sex (female receiving)

A/N: This is Chapter Two of my “Fine Line” series! This one is inspired by Watermelon Sugar, the first song I actually listened to by Harry (as a solo artist). I know he means for the meaning of this song to be open ended but come on, we all know that this song is about doing the dirty. 

I hope you like this series! If you do, please reblog and leave feedback. I heavily encourage you to listen to the album (because it’s phenomenal), or listen to each song before you read each chapter. Speaking of chapters, they will be uploaded every Sunday at 12:00 PM EST.

A NOTE: EACH CHAPTER'S PLOT WILL BE A TIME SKIP FROM THE LAST CHAPTER. NO CHAPTER'S PLOT WILL OCCUR DIRECTLY AFTER ANOTHER.

Read Chapter One, "GOLDEN", here!

Find the “Fine Line” masterlist here!

The sun shines, and the waves of the ocean crash onto the rocks and the shores of the beach. The sand is a beautiful white, and people laugh and talk as they lay on it, relishing in each others’ company.

And you are no exception to this. Loki lays beside you, on a pink blanket that you brought. He had mumbled, “I’m not laying on that,” but once he saw you lay down, he sighed, though not with annoyance, and went to join you.

“I’m not used to this heat,” he says. Black sunglasses cover his green eyes, but you can tell he has his eyes on the water in front of you. “I was born on a planet of snow. I am forever cold. But this… this feels quite nice.”

You can hear laughter and cheers from a group of people to your left. They are all dressed in bathing suits and sunglasses, and they lay on towels as well. It seems they are being well-fed as well, as they all snack on fruit — you can see some of them eating watermelon slices. As you glance over to them, you see other people, people who are not in the original group, being offered the fruits as well.

“Want some watermelon, sugar?” you ask, a grin on your face.

“Hm?” Loki asks. “What’s that?”

It takes a second for you to register it. “Wait, you’ve—” you stammer in disbelief, “you’ve never…” You stand up, looking determined. “You’ve never had watermelon? I’m getting you some.”

“Love, you don’t have to —” Loki tries to object.

“Nope, you’ve awakened my curious side. I wanna see how you like it.” You grin down at him again. “Hold on a second.” With that, you start to speed-walk down the sand.

Loki looks at you as you leave. His eyes roam all over you, and they spend a second longer on your ass than anything else. You wear a thin, small pair of bikini bottoms, and your legs are waxed and smooth.

He sighs, contentedly, laying completely on his blanket, letting the sun warm his face and his bare chest. He closes his eyes. He knows he can’t sleep, not in this midday sun, but simply resting is good enough for him now.

A cool drop of something lands on his face a few minutes later, and it startles him a bit. However, he relaxes when he realizes it’s just you standing above him, holding something in your hand. 

“Eat up, babe.”

Loki reaches up and swipes the drop of the wet something off his face. Tentatively, he licks it. “Hm,” he muses. “That’s sweet.”

“Try biting it, you’ll love it.” With a little grunt, you sit next to him again, offering him a piece of watermelon. He takes it.

After a bite and some slow chewing, he hums again in approval. “That’s nice. Quite refreshing.”

“Glad you like it,” you say cheerfully. You nod over to the party to your left. “Y’know, those people were awfully friendly. Extremely kind. Very, uh, open and cheerful. They didn’t seem to care about whether or not anyone was a stranger, they let them join anyway. It was just…” You stop, trying to search for the words. “Love all around. There was plenty of food to go around, more than just watermelons — also raspberries and blueberries. They were awfully cuddly, too.”

“Perhaps they’re on something,” Loki says smugly. “Maybe they’re all high.”

“You might think that, but maybe that’s because it’s not… not widely accepted to be cuddly and open in public.” You roll your eyes, though not at him. “Why can’t everyone just treat people with kindness?”

“You’re human. You have your faults. Those people? They might’ve just learned to move past them. We can all learn from them, can’t we?”

“Yeah,” you say. “They might also just be relishing in the fact that we can be close to each other again. Physically, I mean. I don’t know if you were here in 2020, but... uh, there was a —”

“I remember,” Loki smirks, though not at the unfortunate memories of what had happened back then. “Perhaps we can learn from them about that, too… would you like to stay here until dark, my love? We could walk around, do whatever it is you humans do in the ocean, find some supper, just spend the whole day here?”

“What’s that look on your face for?” you chuckle. “Do you have something planned?”

He gasps, faking surprise. “My darling, why would you ever think that? It’s just an innocent day at the beach. Besides, they’re not getting… too intimate.”

“What’s ‘too intimate’ supposed to mean?” you ask, a little something creeping into your head and making you smile.

He smirks but says nothing. Instead, he changes the subject. “Did you meet anybody when you went down to that group of people?”

Playfully, you roll your eyes at him. “Everyone there said hello, but I really didn’t get to talk to anyone besides this one man. He was dressed as if it were spring, not summer — he was wearing a multicolored shirt, a freakin’ vest, and some sort of jeans. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he certainly looked nice. I also liked his nails, they were colored as well.”

You look at the water as you chew your fruit. “You’d look nice with black nails, maybe even green ones.”

He hums in thought. “Maybe…”

The day passes quite slowly, but you don’t mind. It stays hot and the sun stays visible. Clouds are almost nonexistent, which is always a plus when you want to swim.

Loki joins you, and you make great fun of splashing each other. When you go deeper into the water, he finds enjoyment in diving deep, coming up in front of you, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you before going back under. You’re taken aback the first few times, then you get the message and kiss him back with a breathy laugh.

Drowning is of no thought to you. You can swim, but even if you couldn’t, you know Loki would take care of you. He always stays close and you keep your eyes on each other.

When it gets a little later, you get out of the water and dry off. Many people have already left, including the little party you encountered. Only a few people remain, some of them in couples, and they either rest on their towels or walk on the shoreline.

“Could we stay here a little while longer?” Loki asks. “There’s one more thing I’d like to do.”

“Yeah, sure,” you say amiably, though you wonder what ‘one more thing’ might be.

You both wait until everyone else has left. By this time, you’ve put your shirt on, for your bathing suit has dried but it is getting colder. Loki has not put anything more on him. Perhaps he welcomes the cold.

When Loki starts to move, you look at him. He shuffles to you, practically crawling to you. You gasp as he lightly pushes you back onto your towel. Your head lands not on the hardness of sand but on a little pillow that was not there before.

“Loki, Loki, wh-what are you —”

He shushes you, and just that alone makes you shiver with arousal. “If you allow me, I would like to give you something… I’ve been here all day, resisting the urge to take you in front of all of those people. Do you know how difficult that was?”

“N-no,” you answer. “But —” You interrupt yourself with a nervous chuckle. “—knowing you, you probably couldn’t hold it in for long.”

“Hence,” he grins, looking down at you, his eyes lingering on your “quim”. He likes that word. He’s used it before. “Would you mind if I go down on you? I just wanna taste it. Maybe give you an orgasm. Whatever works for you.”

You nod frantically, but then you look around. No one else is on the beach, no one else is present to look at you.

“Do not worry about that,” Loki says when he notices your worried glances. He laces your fingers with his own, holding your hand and running his thumb across your skin in comforting little motions. “No one is here, sweetness, just look at me. Do that, or look up. I know how you are when I do this. Sometimes you’re too self conscious to see me doing this to you with all my enthusiasm. So, if you want, look up. I won’t mind.”

You breathe out shakily, and your breath gets caught in your throat as you see Loki pull your bottoms to the side. Immediately, he begins, latching his tongue and lips to your most intimate parts. He licks and sucks all around, paying special attention to your clit — he knows what you like. Your stomach heaves as you breathe. 

“I don’t know if I could ever go without this,” he moans. “You’re so wonderful and... and warm...”

You established long ago that Loki actually takes pleasure from pleasuring you, but it never fails to catch you off guard.

After a particularly hard suck to your clit, you moan, and it is louder than intended.

Loki seems to like it. “Sounds just like a song. Sing for me.”

A laugh then. “Okay, Phantom.” When Loki looks up at you in confusion, you shake your head. “I’ll show you later.”

Soon, it’s not long before you’re squirming in your chair, breathing heavily as Loki holds you down. The coil in your gut is rising, and rising fast. Loki’s drive to please you is incredible, and you can tell he’s determined.

You moan, quite shamelessly, out loud as you reach your end, and it takes quite a long time for you to regain your senses. Loki smiles up at you once he gets his mouth off of your quivering pussy. “Was that good, love?”

You laugh, breathlessly. “Yeah. Yeah, that was good. Thank you.”

You leave without saying much else about it. He takes you home, and kisses you in the doorway as you move to leave. The sun is long gone, and the moonlight fills the air with a white glow.

You turn to close the door behind you.

In a split second decision, you pull him into the house, and he doesn’t resist. He stays the night, in your house and in your bed.

#fine line #loki x reader #loki x reader smut #loki #loki laufeyson #loki smut #loki odinson #harry styles #fanfiction #romance #loki fanfic #loki of asgard #mcu loki #marvel #mcu #angst

[rudystree]

this doesn’t have anything to do with outerbanks but i saw you reblog stuff about olivia rodrigo and i just need to say that she is so talented and sour is just everything like seriously no skips, it just annoys me how whenever some people talk about olivia and her songs they go straight to talking about joshua bassett or taylor swift like can we just appreciate olivia and her songs without bringing up josh or comparing her songs to taylor’s songs. also if this is how olivias first album is like i can’t wait to see what the future holds for her.

ooh hahaha i’m totally down to chat about non-obx stuff too 🥰

so, i don’t know anything about olivia rodrigo or her life other than that i’m obsessed with her album, and the same goes for taylor and her music (i’m a massive fan but never watched a single interview or anything lol)

i totally see why the comparison is annoying but hear me out ok: it’s a really similar vibe/energy and it’s meant as a compliment!! like idk if you remember, but the queens of the 2000s like taylor swift, miley cyrus, jojo, avril lavigne, etc. evoked the same feelings in their music as olivia and captured the teen girl experience brilliantly imo. like i’m no music connoisseur and a lot of people didn’t like them but they defined an era!!

i’m listening to sour and i’m thrown back into that angsty teen 2000s era and now that i’m older i can actually look back and relate to those songs much better

so basically yes olivia’s absolutely amazing and unique and talented in her own right, but i also relate to people who look at her, feel nostalgic, and immediately think “omg she’s this generation’s taylor”. i think she’ll have a huge career ahead 🙌

#i hope this makes sense 😅 #ty for talking to me hehe #i’ve been blasting her album all day like i’m 17 again #i think olivia and i lived the same relationship #but also i’m sure it’s annoying if her ex or whatever gets brought up #idk anything about that tho #olivia rodrigo #ask

[fieryanmitsu]

If Only | A3! (one-sided Itaru/Izumi, Sakyo/Izumi)

This story plot suddenly just cannonballed into my head while I was listening to Shintarou Asanuma’s cover of “So Close” from Disney’s Enchanted. For those of you who don’t know, he is Itaru’s Japanese voice actor! I really do love AsaShin’s singing voice, and he seriously just knocks it out of the ballpark with this song. I’m just heartbroken forever now, and the lyrics made me cry, so here I am with an angsty story that no one asked for, hahaha!

Because of the way I envisioned this story, it felt most right if I wrote it in present tense. However, this style of writing is definitely something out of my comfort zone and I can’t remember the last time I tried writing in the present tense. So, I’ll apologize in advance if I make your eyes bleed with my terrible grammar and any unintentional switching to the past tense (especially since I don’t write with a beta)!!

IF ONLY

CHARACTERS: Itaru Chigasaki, Izumi Tachibana, Sakyo Furuichi

PAIRINGS: unrequited Itaru/Izumi, Sakyo/Izumi

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

Itaru finds himself in an unfamiliar situation: on the sidelines of a blaring dance floor. He has attended many weddings in his lifetime – he was at that age, after all, as his parents often remind him – but, he can count on one hand how many wedding after-parties he has bothered to join. Actually, he didn’t even need one whole hand. One experience was enough for him to have his fill of plastering on a fake face and dealing with obnoxious drunk people – especially drunk women trying to get into his bed. Not to mention, he would lose out on his precious free time.

However, there was no way he could get out of this particular after-party. After all, it is the Mankai Company-exclusive after-party for Izumi and Sakyo’s wedding. Or was it the after-after-party? Did the impromptu karaoke session thrown together by Banri and Tenma count as an after-party? Regardless, much to Itaru’s misery, skipping out on the current celebrations is not an option – according to Tsuzuru, anyway.

Nibbling half-heartedly on one of the finger sandwiches that Omi had prepared, Itaru lounges casually at one of the cocktail tables. A beautiful bouquet of flowers sits upon the pristine tablecloth – lovingly hand made by Tsumugi, of course – but his eyes spare them no glance. Instead, his gaze is glued on Izumi’s slender figure as she sways her hips on the dance floor, surrounded by a gaggle of the younger Mankai Company members. They cheer her on as she clutches the skirt of her floor-length white dress, whirling around with abandon. Her smile flashes brighter than the tacky disco ball suspended from the ceiling, and Itaru is unable to look away.

Suddenly, the dance music fades out and the mood in the ballroom completely changes as the DJ – Sakoda, because his services are free – starts playing a mellower tune.

Picking up his glass, Itaru throws back the rest of his drink, feeling the alcohol burn a hot trail down his throat. There was no way he was going to get through this evening sober. He clunks down the empty glass and vaguely registers Sakoda loudly announcing that it was about time that the boss gets his butt on the dance floor already.

The young salaryman absentmindedly shoves another sandwich into his mouth as he watches Sakyo being pulled from his seat at a nearby table and shoved into the centre of the rented hall by Taichi and Misumi. The bespectacled man stumbles as he nearly trips on one of the table legs, and Izumi catches him in her arms as the two young men laugh rather than help.

After Sakyo regains his footing, the newlywed couple wrap their arms around each other to the cheers of the audience and they begin swaying to the tune of a slow, romantic song. The usual hard expression on Sakyo’s face softens as he looks down lovingly at his bride, and the smile that Izumi returns is blinding.

Itaru tears his eyes away. He doesn’t know why he still feels bothered. Did he not literally witness those lovey-dovey faces all day as they had been exchanging vows, giving their speeches at the reception, and cutting the wedding cake? Maybe the alcohol was exacerbating it, but the remaining sandwich in his mouth suddenly tastes like sand and he feels sick to his stomach. He wants to run away, wants to get away from the awful feelings wrapping their fingers around his chest and squeezing his heart painfully.

But, as usual, he doesn’t do anything. Just like the countless other instances in the past years. How many times had the voice in his head shut him down when he wanted to reach out to her, only to freeze and pull away?

‘Why bother – you’re not good enough, anyway,’ the voice lamented.

‘You’re just useless gamer trash – you’ll never be able to give her what she deserves,’ the voice sneered.

‘Why compete with him – he’s better than you in every way,’ the voice demanded.

He has long lost count.

Itaru is drawn out of his thoughts by loud whooping and wolf whistles. Turning his head to the source of the attention, he sees Azuma confidently step onto the dance floor while flicking his ponytail over his shoulder. Moments later, the long-haired man gracefully steals Izumi away from her groom with a wink. Even though the lighting in the room is dim, Itaru can just make out Sakyo rolling his eyes as he steps aside, but not without a good-natured smirk on his lips.

Izumi giggles with delight as Azuma leads her across the dance floor. Before long, the professional cuddler’s actions start a chain reaction. Kazunari swoops in shortly after with a cheeky grin to enjoy his turn with Izumi before he twirls her away to – a very drunk, Itaru notes – Tasuku. The director is nearly crushed by his burly body when he fails to keep his feet under him, but Citron rescues her and begins spinning her around the dance floor. Izumi’s laughter rings in Itaru’s ears as she continues to waltz through a succession of more Mankai Company men.

And, then, suddenly, Izumi is standing in front of him, and her hand is on his wrist.

“Dance with me, Itaru,” she requests – no, commands – and tugs lightly on his arm with a big, innocent smile and flushed cheeks.

In any other situation, his rejection would be instantaneous. He doesn’t dance – can’t dance. Izumi knows this, too, considering the countless number of times he has trampled on her toes during practices.He knows he should turn her down, because nothing good can come of this.

Maybe, he could use Masumi as an excuse – the young man was slumped over on one of the tables, dead to the world. He could say that he was taking Masumi home to rest (and mope) in his bed instead. But, something about Izumi always makes his brain short-circuit and he can’t bring himself to say ‘no’.

Still in a daze, he lets her pull him onto the dance floor. It’s not until he feels one of her hands settle on his shoulder and her other hand clasp around his own, that it really hits him.

An intense surge of emotions wrenches through his gut and he wants to throw up. His mind is a tornado of competing, conflicting thoughts, threatening to rip him apart from the inside. He feels a telltale prickling behind his eyes and he bites down so hard on the inside of his cheek that he can taste blood.

Hide it, he screams at himself. SMILE, damn it.

So, he does. Except, it’s not the smile he means to give – the princely, aloof smile that deflects everything. Instead, he gives Izumi a smile he has hidden for years. The one that he only permits himself to give her in his dreams.

Itaru wants to kick himself – wants to stab his own traitorous heart – because, in his moment of weakness, he is succumbing to the escapist habit he has depended on since childhood. However, this time, instead of imagining himself as Lancelot, as he often did in his youth, he imagines that he is… hers. Imagines that this is their dance. Imagines that he is the one that said ‘I do’ at the altar. Imagines that he can make this beautiful woman, in her pure white dress, happy – for it was this woman that gave him a place to belong and he can’t imagine being anywhere else but by her side.

And, in that moment, Itaru is the happiest he has ever been and he wishes he could keep holding her hand forever. Maybe, this moment could have been real–

If only he didn’t always just decide to give up, then maybe he could have said ‘I’m serious’ instead of ‘I’m just joking.’

If only he was brave enough, then maybe he could have returned her embrace, instead of wrenching himself away.

If only he could hate himself less, then maybe he could have told her: ‘Choose me.’

If only this dream would never end.

If only–

But, he hears the melody beginning to slow down…

Not yet.

… and the last notes of the song fade away.

Please.

Then, their feet come to a halt, and Itaru wakes up.

“Thanks, Itaru! You’ve made me so happy!” she exclaims with a smile that burns its image into his eyes.

And, despite the irrational part of his mind screaming at him to keep hold of her hand, he just gives her a smile – a real one, because he loves her – and gently plants a kiss to the back of her hand before he lets her go.

It took me a long time and many late nights of fiddling around before I was satisfied with this, so hopefully my words got through and you were all able to the fruits of my labour!

I would also highly recommend you all to take a listen to AsaShin’s cover of “So Close” if you can (it’s from the Disney Koe no Ouji-sama Voice Stars Dream Selection II album). There is also the original Japanese version on YouTube with subtitles last I checked as well. Ultimately, this story was a culmination of my feelings and thoughts as I listened to that song.

Anyway, thank you again for reading and feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts or any constructive criticism!! If you enjoyed, please reblog~

-Anmitsu

#a3! #itaru chigasaki #izumi tachibana #itaru chigasaki x izumi tachibana #itaru x izumi #a3! game #sakyo furuichi #banri settsu #tenma sumeragi #tsuzuru minagi #omi fushimi #tsumugi tsukioka #taichi nanao #misumi ikaruga #azuma yukishiro #kazunari miyoshi #tasuku takato #a3! citron #masumi usui #anmitsu writes

[purenonsensefanfic]

Words Can Wait (Pt. 3)

dWarning: THIS IS INSPIRED BY AVENGERS: ENDGAME - so if you have not seen it yet and want to avoid spoilers, skip this one for now!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

Summary: Peggy Carter was having the most wonderful dream. 

Word Count: 675+

A/N: Part 3 of 3. Please enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2

Peggy couldn’t help but laugh at the bewildered look on Steve’s handsome face. 

“What do you mean, ‘hit me’?” he asked incredulously. 

“Exactly what it sounds like.” she replied, standing up. Steve did the same. “Come on, then. Do your worst, soldier.” 

Steve gawked at her. “Peggy, I’m not going to hit you! Why - why would you even...?” He trailed off, shaking his head. 

“It’s very simple. Have you ever dreamed that you were falling?” Steve nodded, and she continued. “And in those dreams, have you ever actually hit the ground? Or did you wake up every time?”

Steve tilted his head, his eyes searching her own. “I woke up. Because...”

“Because you can’t feel pain in your dreams,” she finished for him. “So. If you hit me, I will wake up back in my bed, completely unharmed. Well,” she amended, reaching up to caress his face with one hand, “at least, I won’t be in any more pain than usual.”

Steve’s eyes flashed, the meaning of her words clear. “Peggy,” he said softly, stepping forward and placing his hands on her hips, “I’m not going to hit you. But I will prove to you that this moment is real.”

Peggy smiled sadly. “And just how do you propose to do that?”

Releasing her hips, Steve walked over to where her phonograph sat on a large cabinet. He rifled through the stack of albums next to the record player. “When you were, uh, resting, I took the liberty of looking at your music library. I needed to find the perfect song.” He pulled one record from the pile and carefully set it on the player, then set the needle in place. 

“Perfect for what?” she inquired, though she knew the answer.

The opening notes of one of her favorite songs filled the air. Steve turned and smiled, crossing the room back to where she stood. He held out his hand.

“For our first dance.” 

She looked at his hand dubiously. “Steve, I want nothing more than to finally dance with you, but I don’t see how this is going to clear anything up.”

He sighed, but his face showed no sign of frustration. Only adoration, lips lifted in a soft smile. “Just trust me, will you? Please?” He extended his hand again. This time, she took it. 

With a small gasp, Peggy was spun into Steve’s waiting arms. She let out the most un-Peggy Carter-like giggle. Steve grinned, and they began to sway. 

Never thought that you would be standing here so close to me there's so much I feel that I should say but words can wait until some other day

It was heavenly, listening to the music as they twirled about her living room. This is truly the most perfect dream. Just as I thou-

“OW!” Peggy suddenly shouted. “That was my foot!” She glared up at Steve, ready to curse him out, when the realization hit her as sharply as the pain had. “OH!” Her eyes widened in shock. 

He IS real!

Steve dropped his head, a blush creeping across his cheeks as he smiled sheepishly down at her. “Sorry, Peggy. I did warn you that I would step on your toes someday.”

“You’re... you’re really here,” she whispered, awestruck. “And... you really can’t dance!”

He laughed, a rich, husky sound that reverberated within her. “I told you, I was waiting for the right partner.” The arm around her waist pulled her in tighter, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Peggy’s eyes filled with tears again. 

After a moment, she leaned back and looked up into Steve’s eyes. He raised his eyebrows slightly in a silent question, and she responded with a smile. The corner of his lips twitched, and he lowered his head to kiss her again. She had so much she wanted to ask, and he had so much to say, but the words could wait. 

You'll never know how many dreams I dreamed about you Or just how empty they all seemed without you So kiss me once then kiss me twice Then kiss me once again It's been a long, long time

A/N pt 2: I’m sure there will be a million stories written about the end of Endgame - I have a few more ideas myself. This particular writing exercise was my silly attempt to describe the build-up to that long-awaited dance. 

If you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and follow for more fics! <3

#my fic #endgame fanfic #avengers: endgame #steve rogers x peggy carter #steve x peggy #steve rogers fanfic #peggy carter fanfic #steve rogers #peggy carter #words can wait #part 3 #mcu fanfic #my otp #steggy

[randxmthxughts]

When you’re ready

Imagine/One shot w/Shawn Mendes

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1330

Short description: Shawn gathers all of his family and friends, including you to celebrate new album, and you find out that you’re more than a friend to him.

Author’s note: This one is inspired by “When you’re ready”. Such a beautiful song! Please reblog or leave your comments if you liked reading this one, xoxo.

    Chilling out in Shawn’s backyard sitting next to him everything felt so perfect that day. The sun was setting down, as Shawn was jamming something on his guitar forcing everybody else to sing one of his songs, and even though nobody had a good voice amongst us, it still sounded nice. Shawn was smiling like the little kid he was looking around at his family and friends sitting around him, eyes glued to him as if he was giving a private concert, which he occasionally did.

    When the song finished, he put down his guitar and slung his arm over my shoulder, making my body shrink, skin covered with goosebumps. He did not know how deeply I was in love with him, and even though he didn’t mean it that way, the way he touched me or hugged, and kissed my cheek, all of it made my heart race.

    “I am so proud. Album number 3!” Manny exclaimed, applauding, and I joined him with a little struggle, as Shawn’s arm blocked one of my hands.

    “Man, that’s crazy,” Ian added, forcing Shawn to chuckle.

    He chuckled so full-heartedly the vibration of his body transferred to mine. We knew each other for a significant amount of time by now and lately, Shawn got into the habit of hugging me without a particular reason, which he also did to Aaliyah a lot, whenever she was sitting next to him. And if I would get too deep into these thoughts, it would start to hurt, realizing, that he thought of me as of his little sister. Casually slinging his arm around my shoulder, playing with my hair, and now whispering things to me making fun of something stupid.

    “Andrew is so annoyed I cancelled the meeting today,” he lowered his head to whisper that into my ear, as my eyes quickly flickered to Andrew’s face who was stuffing his mouth with a sandwich, eyebrows slightly furrowed, “I told him that I cancelled it so he could join us too, and he was so pissed earlier. He even threatened that he wouldn’t be coming, but then found out that we’re doing a barbeque, so now he’s here,” Shawn chuckled, forcing me to giggle.

    Shawn’s friends, team, and family were all having small conversations in between each other, and it didn’t take long to all of them get along with each other. Almost all of them knew each other, and now that the album was finally out he wanted to gather all of his closest people and celebrate it.

    “I will be back in a second,” I told him, taking his arm off me, as Shawn nodded shortly and started talking to his dad.

    On the way to get myself water, I bumped into Karen who was getting the ice-cream out of Shawn’s fridge. Motherly instincts of hers always surprised me. She was at Shawn’s new place only once yet she already perfectly orientated in his kitchen and knew every single detail of his condo.

    “Have you already heard all of the songs?” Karen smiled.

    “I did! I wanted to come prepared, so I was listening to the album on repeat yesterday the whole day. And on my way here,” I exhaled smiling back.

    “He didn’t let us hear the songs either,” Karen rolled her eyes, “said that he already let us know too much before the official release.”

    “I know!” I chuckled, nodding to her, “he only gave me one song to listen and said that’s it.”

    “Sometimes he is too nervous to show us the rest, but he is also too excited. Not the best qualities to go handy with each other, but he pulls them off,” Karen sighed with a warm smile.

    As she took all of the ice-cream onto the tray, she exited the kitchen, leaving me alone. I poured myself a glass of water and took my time drinking it, thinking about Shawn. He is always so close and touchy with me that it makes me even more in love with him. And since the album came out, I’ve been even more confused, all of the songs so intimate and different. I’m stupid for hoping that there is one about me. People don’t write songs about their friends. Most of his album was co-written with other people and their experience; there is no way I can even have these thoughts.

    “You haven’t told her yet?” Manny’s voice snapped me back into reality.

He sounded close the kitchen, alongside with footsteps, but I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, so I tried to concentrate back on the view from the window, yet it didn’t help.

    “I thought she would get it. I mean, how much more obvious can I be?” Shawn’s voice joined in.   

    “You think she got it?” Manny’s voice.

    “Aaliyah did immediately,” he replied, forcing my heart to race.

    What were they talking about? A song? But about who?

    “Y/N is a smart girl, you’re right,” Manny said, making my hands shake.

    It couldn’t be. No, they couldn’t be talking about me.

    “What if she just doesn’t like me that way, dad?” the words came out of Shawn’s mouth to close this time, and I turned to find him and Manny walking into the kitchen.

    As both of them saw me, Shawn’s eyes quickly locked with mine and he opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t. I gave both of them a small smile, the awkwardness hanging in the air. Manny was looking back and forth at his son and me.

    “I guess your mom isn’t here. I gotta go find her,” he spoke and exited the room leaving myself and Shawn alone.

    I swallowed and breathed in hoping that this situation will end as soon as possible. Shawn was still staring at me, and then took a few steps towards me forcing chills to run through my body.

    “Have you… by any chance heard what we were talking about?” he asked, leaning to the counter table, eyes still glued to my face.

    “A few things, and my name,” I answered, and Shawn nodded his head.

    “Can I be confident that you’re aware of how I feel?” he smiled slowly.

    “Feel?” I asked, thousands of thoughts running through my mind, “feel about me?” I stuttered.

    “Yeah,” he nodded, now smirking at my confused expression, “I included a song I wrote about you.”

    “Bullshit,” I exhaled.

    “It’s not,” Shawn chuckled, shaking his head a little, “It’s fine if you don’t like me, Y/N. I just wanted to let you know finally,” he said, now walking closer to me.

    “I have no idea what’s going on.”

    “I think you do. ‘When You’re Ready’ is about you, Y/N.”

    My heart skipped a beat when he pronounced the words, and I couldn’t believe that something like that could be about me.

    “No, it’s not,” I refused to believe, shaking my head.

    “I told you it’s fine if you don’t like me, I am a big boy, I can respect that.”

    I stared into his honey eyes to find that hint of playfulness he would always have whenever he pulled off a joke or something, but there was none. It scared me; it couldn’t be right. He cannot feel about me the same way. He examines my face, and I can feel that he starts to lose his hope and slowly take in my decision, thinking that I probably want to refuse.

    “It’s fine, really,” he fakes a chuckle, and wants to say something else, but I don’t let him, pulling him closer by his t-shirt and kissing him.

    There wouldn’t be an any better moment to kiss him; it was perfect. That day was perfect, the people, the food, and the atmosphere. And he was perfect. The way he responded to my kiss and wrapped his arms around me, fingers still playing with the ends of my hair. The way he smiled after pulling back and then kissing me again. Perfect.

MASTERLIST

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes #imagines #imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes au #au #shawn au #au shawn #shawn mendes fluff #shawn fluff #fluffy #fluff #writing #shawn mendes the album #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes x reader #shawn x you #shawn x y/n #shawn x #shawn x reader #mendes #mendes army #when you're ready #sm3

[mildlymaddy]

Youngblood “review”

So I set out to write a comprehensive track-by-track review, except it soon became pretty clear that i

a) do not know what i’m talking about and

b) have no patience.

But since I’m not in the fandom nobody cares anyway so I’m just going to dump this mess here for my own benefit.

The categories are my reaction to their (past?) insistence that they’re not a boyband and they don’t want to “just” have screaming girls at their concerts. I love every song on this album and as everyone knows I’m a big fan of boybands, so the categories are in no way disparaging, it’s just my way of eyerolling at them because dude, you make the music you make, stop pretending otherwise.

And I added headcanons because i’ve got this half-formed idea in my head that I could write a ficlet for every song, i mean, you know, hypothetically, if i ever remembered how to write...

Boyband classics

Better man - the chorus puts it firmly in the boyband category. A very clear elounor song, the second time they get together.

Why won’t you love me - when i thought it was about unreciprocated love i would have said it was a louelle song, but if it’s about a relationship where one half is not putting in the effort and uses touring as an excuse not to commit, then it’s definitely elounor, the first time around.

Monster among men - I love that chorus so much, and it’s a great song to shout out to. It’s the clapping, isn’t it? Clapping’s always so contagious. Also, it’s very obviously louelle, if their paths had crossed again (and louis hadn't been back with el already).

Want you back - god i love that one so much, from the music to the lyrics, the verses and chorus, there's not one bit to throw away. 😍 It's clearly elounor to the point of being boring, so I'd go for cheriam instead, with a generous twisting of reality. *coughs*

Lie to me - I adore the very first verse. Not a super fan of the chorus, apart from the “li-li-li-lie lie to me” which is so wonderful to sing along to. I'm not sure about the pairing tho. Moving on without looking back is a very Harry thing to do, but it doesn't quite fit. There may be sth to do with Zayn leaving the band. Maybe it's Ziall.

Moving Along - i find the lyric construction a bit disappointing in this one (the verses are simple to the point of poverty), even though i do love the theme of the song. It’s definitely a Louis-song (let’s face it this entire album has got Louis written all over it), although i’m not sure which pairing, it could work with pretty much any of them, be it elounor or lilo or even nouis.

 In-between

Woke up in Japan - to be fair I was destined to love it because of that “so Shawn totally banged one member of 5sos in Japan and they both wrote a song about it” post (that I need to track back down so I can reblog it). But I also love the jadedness of the voice in the first verse compared to the rawness of the bridge and the mellowness of the chorus (I'm probably getting this all wrong and mixing the parts up have i mentioned i know nothing about music?). Also this is very clearly a Niall song, which means it's probably Hendes.

Ghost of you - This one is SUCH a Katy Perry song that i literally hear her voice every time i listen to the chorus, it’s uncanny. I do love it though (confession time : i actually like most of KP’s songs, even though i know she’s apparently problematic as fuck). Definitely a niall song, probably narry? Or ziall, actually, because of that “that old Zeppelin shirt You wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt” line.

Young Blood - god, that chorus. No wonder they chose it as the first single and album name, it's just perfect and so fucking tight and raw and it gets the blood pulsing in just the right way. It's such a Harry song, and the anger makes it a clear contender for zarry, since Zayn is the only one who could credibly sing about “being beat at his own game.”

Talk Fast - okay but 5sos very clearly time-travelled back to the 80s and stole this song from a poor unsuspecting artist, and that’s the dirt on that. But also! Finally! A song that I'm not making about Louis 😲 Very clear Narry vibes here, Niall being the one who desperately tries to tell himself he's completely okay with a series of one-night-stands even though he's already lost his heart to Harry so hard it's proper ridiculous.

 ‘Level-up’

More - i didn't expect to get any cheriam out of this, let alone two of them, but this is the best pairing for this one, without a doubt.

If walls could talk - ugh, i love that one a lot, both music and lyrics. Also for some reason I’m getting zouis vibes from it, but I couldn’t even really explain why.

Empty wallets - another song that makes me think of another artist, except with this one i can’t seem to pinpoint who it reminds me of. Either way, it's another clear zouis for this one.

Meet you there - that chorus is the fucking best. The song in general (especially the “I’d keep waiting for you” part) reminds me of DNCE, which is a very high compliment because I adore them. Can't figure out a pairing for this one though, mainly because of the music (it's not tender enough for any of the pairings these lyrics would usually lead me to).

Babylon - Fucking hell I love this one, gives me the same feeling as when I listen to Fall Out Boy, in the “just throw your head back and yell to the sky” category. I love how tight the lyrics are in the verses, very nice crafting there. Although the very very beginning always makes me think I’m going to listen to a Maître Gims song and I won’t lie, that’s traumatizing (google him at your own risk). A clear Zouis song, when everything was still raw and painful.

Valentine - probably controversial, but I get huge 21 Pilot vibes from that one. And I’ve always loved songs which feel like a bunch of songs mixed together in a mishmash way. I have to say I was surprised when i looked the lyrics up (i couldn’t make them out on my own) because the music is super jaded and that didn’t sound like an actual love song to me at all. But considering how laid back it all is, I’d definitely go for elounor, 2nd iteration.

 One last thing that really struck me with this album, is how every. single. song. is a banger. Every album has at least a couple of super slow syrupy or depressing songs, the song i will unfailingly skip every single time coz I'm never in the mood for them. 1d had them, Hanson had them, even rock bands have them. But there's literally not a single one in Youngblood, even though it talks about love and depression plenty. And i fucking adore that. ❤

#this post is such a mess hahaha #is it a post about headcanons? #is it a post about music? #who knows!! #but i've been toying with it for a week and it's time to just throw it out into the void #i really wish i could do the ficlet thing #it'd be a neat project #i mean you know once i'm done with take these chances *shifty eyes* #5sos #1d #youngblood #headcanons #fic inspiration #long post #my post #also wait there's 18 songs why do i only have 16 i'm sure i bought the deluxe version #??? #oh it's the japanese version #i'll have to check those songs out!

[h-styles-babes]

No Control | Chapter Two

Summary: 

Micky Bennett: college student, loyal friend, aspiring nurse, One Direction fan, Harry Styles enthusiast. Her best friend, Trevor, wins tickets to a show in New Jersey with meet and greet passes. Micky expects a quick photo op with the boys and a great night at the concert with her best friend. What she gets a whole lot more than she bargained for.

*Please feel free to reblog and send me feedback. It’s much appreciated :)*

To read previous chapters, you can go here.

*Gif is not mine.*

TWO

When Trevor and I established months ago that our seats were really close to the stage, I don’t think either of us really understood how close they were. We get to our seats about twenty minutes before the opener came on, pushing our way through tittering fangirls and their disgruntled parents. We get a few odd looks from the parents as we pass by, since we’re so much older than the general populace in the stadium.

Trev is diligently looking at the rows and trying to determine seat numbers. We’re searing for a while before he stops right at the edge of the stage, about a foot from the security gate that’s been put up to keep the fans off the stage during the show. I run into his back, since I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to where we were going, too busy thinking back over our time at the meet and greet. 

“Oi, why’d you stop?” I ask, rubbing my head where it collided with his shoulder blade.

“These are our seats,” he says, gesturing to the two right in front of us.

“No fucking way,” I breathe out. I look around and notice how close we are to the stage. “Jesus Christ.”

“No kidding.”

We settle into our seats, making ourselves comfortable. The lights have gone down for the opening act to take the stage, so I sit back and relax while they put the finishing touches on the platform. Trev asks if I’d like anything to drink, and I ask him to get me a beer of some sort—I’m hoping there’s some Guinness or something. Trevor knows my taste in alcohol, so he goes off without another word.

The opener starts before Trevor gets back, and it’s an act that I’m not much into. It’s a bit too electronic for my taste, but I kindly dance along to it while I wait. They’re music is pretty good and they perform wonderfully, so I dance along with the girls next to me. Trev gets back about twenty minutes into the set, complaining about the lines, even though most of the people in here are underage. I joke that it’s probably all their parents, getting pissed so they can make it through the concert. Honestly, as an older person—compared to One Direction’s typical fanbase—I don’t quite get while the older generations are so against their music. It’s a little pop-y and they’re a boyband, but the music is good, especially this latest album, which sounds much more mature than anything they’ve done previously. Older people are always so quick to shut down something before they even give it a listen, which is sad, honestly.

When the opener is finished, Trev and I clap along with the rest of the venue. Trevor makes a quick dash for the bathroom and promises to bring more beer back before One Direction comes on. Thankfully, the venue sells stuff in bottles and cans instead of plastic cups, so I toss money at him to get a few for each of us for the rest of the show. 

While he’s gone, I check my phone and see I have an email from the venue. It’s attached images of the photos that were taken during the meet and greet. I’m excited to see that they’ve included the one that Harry messed up. His head is thrown back, his eyes squinted closed, and his mouth open in a wide smile. His hand is halfway to his mouth, ready to smack over it to quell his outburst. My smile is wide next to him, my head tilted up to look at him. Louis is next to me, looking at Harry like he’s the biggest dork he’s ever met, and Niall’s on the other side, his mouth open in a laugh at Harry. Liam just looks confused and Trevor is smiling, his finger pressed to the bridge of his nose, like he was pushing his glasses up at the time the photo was taken. I remind myself to make sure to print that out later and share both of the photos on Instagram.

The second picture is good, but it looks more put on. I like the first one since it seems so genuine and relaxed. We’re all smiling at the camera, looking happy and excited for the concert, but it’s nothing compared to the first one. Trevor rushes back as soon as the lights go down again and some music starts playing. The crowd starts to get louder, getting excited to see the bad come out. I see the musicians start coming out from backstage and taking up residence at their instruments. Trevor hands me a beer and then curses at our lack of bottle opener. I shrug him off and prop the cap on the edge of the barricade in front of us and bang my hand down on the top, effectively opening it.

“I forgot about that little party trick,” Trev says.

“I haven’t had to use it in a while. Turning twenty-one ensured that we always had a bottle opener around,” I shrug. I pass him the bottle and signal for him to hand me another. I open this one the same and keep it for myself.

“When’d you learn that?”

“I think I was fifteen. Mates and I always got ahold of alcohol somehow, but we never had a bloody bottle opener. I just taught myself how to do it one day.”

Trevor goes to respond, but I shush him as the lights go out and the screens on stage start up, playing the introductory video before the boys come out. I can feel my heart beat picking up with the anticipation. I drink way more of my beer than I mean to as I anxiously await their presence on stage. My love for Harry Styles is at an all time high at the moment, with the memories of what happened at the meet and greet and the thought of seeing him in his element. The fluttery feeling I get in my chest any time I see a particularly amazing photo of him online is amplified ten fold with the thought of actually being in his presence. 

When the band starts up and the boys appear on stage, I feel like the air is sucked from my lungs. They’ve changed outfits since the meet and greet—well, mostly everyone, except for Harry, who just changed his plain white shirt into a plain black one. He looks even better, if that’s possible. All black is a good look for him, along with the smile that’s splitting his face as they open up with Clouds. Harry is on the part of the stage closest to us, and he looks out in the crowd as he begins the song. His eyes skim over me before darting back and catching my eye. I smile warmly before tilting my beer back. My eyes are still on his as he smiles at me when his verse is over.

“What the fuck did I tell you?” Trev asks, speaking in my ear to be heard over the music.

I roll my eyes at him. “He smiled. He’s always smiling.”

Trevor just presses his lips together and raises one eyebrow at me to show that he’s disagreeing with me. I just laugh and shake my head before taking another sip from my drink.

I don’t know the verses of this song very well, but I sing along to the chorus. I keep my eyes mainly trained on Harry, while I can see Trevor’s view bouncing back and forth between Liam and Harry. I think he’s trying to catch Harry looking our way again so he can make a point, but I have a feeling he’s going to be very let down throughout this concert.

They go straight into Steal My Girl afterwards, all four boys going down the walkway to perform there, although Harry stays closer to the main stage, close to where Trev and I are set up. After the song, they take a break to address the crowd and thank them for coming, Harry being goofy and cracking stupid jokes that I can’t help but shake my head at. They spend the next fifteen minutes or so at the end of the walkway, towards the middle of the arena, so I watch from the screens in front of me. 

During the end of Kiss You, the come back up toward the main stage, and Harry’s eyes find mine again as he sings the last words. He winks at me and I’m pretty sure my heart stops for a split second. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and bite on it to keep myself from smiling like an idiot, but Harry notices my reaction and grins at me, pressing his tongue to the front of his teeth. He turns away with a parting blown kiss to start in on the next song.

“I know we’re in a room with, like, thirty thousand other people, but I can feel the sexual tension,” Trev says into my ear. I try to ignore him and continue to sing along, but he keeps pestering me. “How much you want to bet he’ll send security over here to get you after the show?”

“Shut up!” I growl. “You’re ridiculous.” But I’m starting to believe Trev as Harry passes by again, looking right at me and doing that thing where he bits his tongue at the side of his mouth, his lips pulled up into a smirk. I groan loud enough for Trevor to hear me and laugh at me. I’ve always had a weakness for that tongue thing and my body can’t handle seeing it in person.

I get a reprieve when they go back to the end of the stage and perform for a song and then Liam takes some time to read some of the signs in the crowd. My ovaries are shot again, though, when they set up for Ready to Run, and Harry sits on the edge of the stage, right in front of us. I reach out to grip onto the hem of Trevor’s shirt, squeezing it tightly in my fist. My lip is back between my teeth as I look up at Harry as he begins the song. He’s looking back at me again through his whole verse, his eyes flicking down to where I have a death grip on Trev. Harry gives a little nod to me and I think I squeak, because Trevor is suddenly cackling with laughter next to me. I smack him in the chest with the back of my hand as Harry laughs before hopping up to go dance around the stage.

The whole rest of the concert is like this: Harry coming over to our area in between skipping and prancing around and locking eyes with me, smirking, blowing kisses, all while making it look like he’s doing it to all the people around us. His eyes are very much meeting mine, though, grinning slyly every time I bite my bottom lip. During the introduction to Don’t Forget Where You Belong, Harry pulls Louis aside and speaks in his ear, gesturing to opposite sides of the stage. Louis nods with a cheeky grin and slaps Harry on the shoulder before switching places with him. Harry plops himself back on the stage right in front of us. 

It’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point, honestly. With Harry constantly looking at me and Trevor joking and telling me ‘I told you so,’ my nerves are shot. I thought I could handle this concert as a grown woman, but I wasn’t anticipating having Harry Styles flirt with me the whole time. 

And don’t even get me started on the pointed looks during Little Things. I just about melted into the damn floor during that song.

For what it’s worth, he does spend a lot of time interacting with other fans and prancing around the stage during their set, but he’s constantly coming back and looking at me with those damn green eyes and his beautiful voice and his amazing hair and his dazzling smiles. I can’t fucking take it.

During Little White Lies, which I know is about their second to last song, Harry kneels on stage and gets the attention of a security guy and speaks in his ear. I’m trying my hardest to pay attention to the other guys singing, but his eyes flick up and meet mine, and he grins as he keeps speaking to the security. I see his head tilt toward me, and the security’s eyes land on me as Harry nods. I gulp at the look in his eyes. I think Trevor just might be right.

Harry pops back up on stage as the security man heads in our direction. I tug on Trev’s hand frantically.

He looks down at me and then the direction I nod before his eyes light up and he starts bouncing on his toes.

“I fucking told you!”

“Micky?” the big burly guy asks, leaning in close to me to be heard over the music.

“That’s me,” I agree with a nod.

“Mr. Styles has requested your company in his dressing room after he gets off stage. He hopes you’ll say yes.”

I know I shouldn’t really be surprised, but I feel my stomach drop at the confirmation that our interactions all night weren’t just in my head. 

I’m quiet for too long, because Trev nudges me with his elbow and nods. “She’d love to,” he answers for me. He turns to me and leans down to talk in my ear. “Text me when you get there safely and let me know if you’re coming back to the hotel tonight.”

I look at him pointedly. “I’m not sleeping with Harry Styles. I’ll be back tonight.” He smirks at me. “If you say so, babe. I feel like you might be eating your words in a few hours, though.”

I roll my eyes at him as the security guy opens up the barrier gate to let me through. I don’t look back to see if any of the people are around me are looking as I’m escorted off, or, if they are, they think I’m having, like, a medical emergency or something. 

“Go get ‘em, tiger!” I hear Trev yell over the crashing of the music on stage. I just flip him off over my shoulder. I can hear his laughter faintly as I walk away.

Twenty minutes later, after I’ve been set up in what looks to be the boys’ dressing room, given all the clothes, towels, and knick knacks lying around, there’s a light knock on the door. I’m sitting on the couch, legs crossed over each other, facing the door. I expect the guys and their stylists to walk in to celebrate the end of a show, but only Harry walks in, instead. He’s gloriously sweaty, his shirt sticking to him and accentuating his chest. His hair is pretty mussed up from flipping it around for two hours and running his hands through it repeatedly. His skin in sheen with a layer of sweat and where his chest peaks through his collar is tinged pink from his exertion. He’s got a dopey smile on his face, though, that has me biting on my lip again. The poor thing is going to be swollen tomorrow with all the abuse.

“You came,” he states excitedly, but slightly out of breath.

I grin back and nod. “I did.” He grins back before whipping his shirt off over his head and taking up a towel. I feel my eyes widen, but school my face when before he looks at me again. He’s incredibly toned, and I quickly skim my eyes over all his lovely tattoos. The fig leaves at his hips are the newest additions, and I want so badly to run my tongue over them. 

“You guys were amazing,” I say, shaking myself out of my stupor over his shirtless body. Thankfully, I don’t think he caught me staring at him, because he just fully beams at me, his dimples as deep as I’ve ever seen them. “I’ve been to a few different concerts, and you guys by far are the most interactive with fans.”

He runs the towel over his damp skin as he answers. “Thanks. The energy was really high tonight. We kind of feed off it, ya know? Makes us perform better. Makes us more eager to interact.”

“Makes you more likely to torture the poor, innocent girl in the front row?” I add cheekily. I’m normally not a shy person when it comes to talking to and interacting with men, despite the way I was acting during the show. As I sat and waited by myself earlier, I determined that Harry Styles was not going to turn me into someone I’m not. I am a strong, independent, self-assured adult, not some sniveling, fluttery teenager. I am determined to act the same way with him as I would any other man our age. Just because he’s a celebrity doesn’t make him any different from any other twenty-one year old lad.

“I don’t know about innocent, love,” he smirks at me. “You biting your lip the whole time is anything but innocent.”

“At least I wasn’t the one winking and blowing kisses and doing that damned thing with your tongue the entire time. Driving me fucking mad.”

He walks over and sits himself down on the coffee table in front of me. Our knees knock together, and I can feel the heat of him through both of our jeans. “You don’t know how glad I was to see you standing so close when we got out there. I was hoping you weren’t seated somewhere I couldn’t see you.”

“And why’s that?” I ask boldly.

He leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees. One of his large, ringed hands rests itself on my thigh, searing my skin. I don’t know if he naturally runs so hot or if his body is still keyed up from his performance, but it’s slowly burning me in the most pleasurable way.

“Because my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when you first walked into the room earlier. Because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Because I couldn’t stop thinking of you at all before the concert. Or during, for that matter.”

My heart jumps into my throat at his words. I watch as his hand slowly moves up my thigh to rest on my hip, his thumb making small circles on the flesh there. “What do you want from me, Harry?” My eyes flash up to his, and I’m slightly startled to find him so close to me. I can feel the puff of his breath against my chest, making my nipples harden. I’m sure they can be seen through the silk of my shirt, and by the way Harry’s eyes dart down for a second, my suspicions are confirmed. 

When he looks back up to my eyes, he says, “Whatever you want to give me, love.”

I shake my head and see his eyes flash with some sort of emotion I can’t identify. “You have to tell me what you want. I don’t play games.”

His eyes darken with the widening of his pupils, and his nostrils flare slightly. His grip on my hip tightens, and his other hand comes up to rest on the back of my neck, under my hair. “I’m not gonna lie to you—I want you. Very much. But, I also want to get to know you. I spoke to you for all of five minutes, and you fascinate me. I can’t explain it. I just have this pull to you.”

I nod slightly. “I feel it, too. And I’ll give you what you want. I want it, too.”

The edges of his lips curl up into a smile that’s slightly cocky but in a weirdly endearing way. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

He leans forward and lightly grazes his lips over mine. My lips tingle at the contact, something I’ve never experienced before while kissing someone. I feel his breath against my lips and I can smell the peppermint of the gum he must have been chewing. His hand cradles the back of my neck as his tongue peaks out to trace my lips before pressing his own more firmly against mine. We move together for a few moments, his tongue sweeping lightly every so often. His kisses are intoxicating, with the way that he smells and the taste of him left behind. There’s the peppermint, but there’s also a hint of sweetness underneath it. 

Harry pulls back first, and his eyes are slightly hooded as he looks at me. “I need to have a shower real quick, then we can leave.”

I nod and watch as he stands. He toes off his boots and grabs a larger towel from a nearby chair. “Five minutes, love. Then, you’re all mine.”

The words send a shiver down my spine.

THREE

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #No Control #one direction #harry styles imagine

[jongyonce]

Something I wanna get off my chest about “having to love every single bandmember”.

Okay, before you start reading I can already tell you ahead that if I get messages such as “you’re not a fan if you don’t love all members” without any explanation as to why you think that should be the case... don’t even bother. I  will delete them straight away. I have experienced these ‘content-less’ messages in the past and they’re just not worth it.

Also, to make it easier for me to write and probably for you to read I’ll just keep the topic limited to SHINee and just tag SHINee, but obviously this counts for each and every single group/ band out there worldwide.

So, not too long ago I saw this post about how someone was very happy that they haven’t met (m)any shawols yet that don’t like all the members. To make a post like that is perfectly fine, to make any kind of post is fine because you’re free to do so, but you do hope your post will reach out other fans. This post in particular did. I don’t have the link to it because it has been a while since I’ve seen it, but it was a really simple post that just stated some facts of the op’s life. Posts like that get reblogged because people agree with it or are just very happy for that person. Needless to say, posts like that come with added tags, in this case tags that mentioned how ‘shawols should love all members and not just one, two or anything less than all five of them’. I can slightly understand why they think that.

However.

You do not have to love all five members to be/ call yourself a fan. You don’t have to love any of the members to be/ call yourself a fan. There is a huge different between loving someone (whether it’s on an intimate level, a platonic level, etc.) and respecting someone.  There’s also a huge difference between loving someone and loving their work. When I was 12 I became a fan of Tokio Hotel, a band I think most of you know or even were a fan of as well in the past. I dare to admit that I was what you call ‘an annoying fangirl’ - disagreeing with anything bad anyone ever said about them, I also agreed on that all bandmembers should be loved and not just Bill and Tom (because let’s be real, a lot of people didn’t care much for Georg and Gustav as people). It’s now 10 years later, I’m 22 and I am a fan of SHINee, I am a Shawol. I support them by viewing their MV’s (as a group as well as their solo projects/ duo projects/ you name it), I have supported them by buying physical albums, goodies and what not. I have come to an age where I am more aware of the things around me, the things that I do, the things that I don’t do, the things that I care for. Every time I can add a number up to my age I realize I have gotten a lot more ‘mature’ than the year before.

Over five years ago I became a fan of SHINee, and guess what? I did not care for Minho. At all. I didn’t like his voice, I didn’t like his face, his eyes were too big and his head too small, I would have cut out his parts of the song if I knew how back then. Now, five years later, I love Minho, I love his voice, his face a glorious piece of art and I’d scream his name the loudest. My OTP is Jongho and it has been for the past 4,5 years. Before Jongho became my otp I even had a few months of Minho being my bias. As of now I dare to admit that I don’t love Key. His singing is great, his rapping is great, I respect him as an artist and I fully support him as a bandmember as well as an actor. Generally I support his solo activities. I just don’t love him as a person. There’s not really something about him that makes me feel like I could be a fan of him as an individual person. Whereas some of you may go absolutely nuts over his fashionsense, I don’t. Dare I admit I often even think it looks absolutely ridiculous. Does that make me a bad or fake fan? No. Because I don’t have to love him, or any other member, in order to be a fan of a group that entertains people musically. I don’t listen to their music/ buy their album because they may be good looking. You can be fan of someone’s music and you can be a fan of someone as a person. But just because you can be a fan of both, it doesn’t mean you have to be. Over the years I’ve seen a lot of shows that included them, it’s a way of getting to know them a little better personally. Some personalities just may not fit with you either and that’s partly how I concluded that I simply don’t feel like Key is the kind of guy that would fit me in any way. That’s perfectly fine

That being said, I do think each member deserves to be respected equally because obviously SHINee wouldn’t be the SHINee we know now if it wasn’t for all members. They have all participated in producing some of their music in whatever way possible, whether it be writing, producing, helping with choreography... None of the members would be in the band if they didn’t all put their hard work into it. If one of them would fail in one thing, they would all fail. Fortunately for us they haven’t failed and are even respected by a lot, if not most of the other Korean artists out there from all kinds of companies, due to the fact that next year they will hit their 10 year anniversary as a complete group with all original members. They may not win every single trophy they could possibly win, they may not be liked by everyone, they may not get the 20 million views on youtube but that does not mean they don’t work hard as a group and as individuals. So remember, all members deserve to be respected for their hard work but you do not have to love (all of) them in order to be a fan. In the end it’s you who decides whether or not you’re worthy of the name Shawol. It’s you who decides when and why you do or do not like a member. It’s all up to you and no one else, please don’t ever feel like you have to love them all just because there are other Shawols out there who think you should. It’s initially about their music, their good looks may just be some lucky coincidence. And uhh... no you don’t have to like all of their songs either. It’s perfectly fine to skip a song because that’s just personal taste.

#shinee #jonghyun #key #minho #onew #taemin #personal ish

[megthemewlingquim]

ADORE YOU

Summary: He’d walk through fire for you.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: implied smut, one usage of “fuck”, implied smut (again)

A/N: This is Chapter Three of my “Fine Line” series! This one is inspired by Adore You. I hope you like this series! If you do, please reblog and leave feedback. I heavily encourage you to listen to the album (because it’s phenomenal), or listen to each song before you read each chapter. Speaking of chapters, they will be uploaded every Sunday at 12:00 PM EST.

A NOTE: EACH CHAPTER’S PLOT WILL BE A TIME SKIP FROM THE LAST CHAPTER. NO CHAPTER’S PLOT WILL OCCUR DIRECTLY AFTER ANOTHER.

Find the “Fine Line” masterlist here!

Read Chapter Two, WATERMELON SUGAR, here! 

He gazes at you as if you’re his world. 

He has both loved you breathless and fucked you senseless, and yet there’s a fine line there, a grey area where the panting fades, the sweat dries and the warmth cools, and all that’s left is the afterglow. The afterglow where he fixes his eyes upon your every movement, every rise and fall of your chest, the dampness of your hair, and the blush on your cheeks. What has happened is still present, but it also gives way to a more quietly intimate moment.

You look down, your eyes falling to the spot where his elbow meets the mattress. Your eyes then move to his bare chest, then move back up.

“You’re avoiding my gaze,” Loki whispers. “What’s the matter?”

The matter is a very common thing: post-orgasm clarity. In the heat of the moment you’ve had no trouble believing that Loki wants you. And even now, that trouble is not there. But.

He still has not said what you’re hoping to hear from him the most.

“Please, don’t be mad…” you say as if you were a child confessing something to a parent. “Do… do you…”

Loki’s eyes soften. “Hey,” he says, running the back of his hand along your cheek. “Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. What is it? What’s troubling you?”

The answer comes out as another question. “Do you love me?” you blurt out, wincing as the words leave your lips.

There’s a pause. You cannot tell if Loki is thinking carefully about what to say or hesitating entirely.

“I’d… I’d walk through fire for you,” he says after a while. His tone suggests that what he says could satisfy you. It does nothing to ease your mind.

“You’re not human. You wouldn’t be burned anyway.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Well, then what is the point?”

Neither of you is dreadfully upset with the other. You’re just confused, a little hurt.

“The point is… is that…” He takes a breath. “I’m afraid to say what you really want me to say. But I will say this:

“I get lost inside your eyes. They’re beautiful and have a world inside them.

“You’re wonder under summer sky. The first time I saw you it was underneath the June sky and every part of you was lit up. You were gorgeous, and you still are.

“Kissing you is something I will never get enough of. Especially when your strawberry lipstick is involved, your lips all red and smooth.

“Lately, you’ve been on my mind. And by ‘lately’, I mean since I met you. All I can think about is you. I wanna get to know you.”

You interrupt. “What are you afraid of? You’re afraid to answer me. Why? Is it because you’re afraid I’d reject you if you said ‘yes’? Or you don’t want to disappoint me by saying what I don’t want to hear?”

He sighs. “How do you feel about me?”

“I love you,” you say, without hesitation.

“You don’t have to say you love me, though. I don’t want you to. That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Commitment?”

He changes the subject. “I adore you. Isn’t that enough for now? Oh, honey, just let me adore you.”

He draws you closer, feeling you all over and locking his lips with your own for the umpteenth time that night. “It’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”

You pull away.

He looks at you, his eyes widening just slightly. You can hear his soft, almost non-existent breathing as he regains some thought. His fingers come off your skin just a little, but the fingertips still linger, just starting to caress you.

“Loki...” you mumble, avoiding his gaze once again. “I don’t... I don’t want to seem ungrateful. You know that. But... you’re not answering my question. You could just answer with a yes or no. It’s simple.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry. I know what you mean. I’m going too fast, aren’t I?”

Little by little, your heart continues to break. “No,” you say, “it’s not that. It’s just... I don’t want all this. I was never just looking for sex. I’m looking for you.”

“You have me,” he says with a sad smile. “Always.”

You move, getting up out of bed. He looks helpless, confused, and longing, like a dog who has been pet for less time then he would’ve liked. “Not like that,” you say sadly. “You don’t know what I mean. You don’t. Not at all.”

You want him to hold you but you don’t. You want him to hold you tenderly, to keep you close and to not let you go. But already, his fingers have begin to slip away.

He stays silent, then. Until,

“I can be better. I will. I’m not going to leave you alone. Baby...” he calls lightly. “Come back. Please.”

A sliver of hope comes back to you, but you know it is false. But, you sigh, holding onto it.

You come back to bed and let him hold you. You let him adore you. You accept it. You do, in fact, want what he offers. It’s not like you don’t. But you want him here for a different reason, one that you wouldn’t say to him for a long time. You relish in his touch, his presence, his smile and his soothing words. You relish in the pleasure he gives you, in the loving words he moans out for you.

The worst part about it is that he doesn’t understand. Or, if he does, he won’t fix his wrongs. Or yours, even.

Unrequited love. It’s an arrow. It stings with ecstasy and with agony.

#fine line #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki #loki of asgard #loki fandom #loki x reader #loki x reader smut #loki (marvel) #loki x y/n #loki x you #fanfiction #harry styles #angst #fluff #smut #romance

[vanillarain95]

lAlright so I was tagged by @livthelion thanks dude(meant to do it the other day but my forgetful ass forgot lol)

1. Always post these rules!

2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you.

3. Write 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people

(Feel free to skip any) (also, I’m down with lists if one answer won’t do)

1. Favorite colors? Those would be black, pink purple and blue( those last three are usually my hair color)

2. Favorite movie of 2016?- I didn’t really see a lot of movies this year but I’d have to say Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them

3. Favorite recently released book (yes, i am totally looking for recommendations lol)?- oh man, I haven’t really done a lot of book reading lately but I did read a book called merciless it’s like mean girls but with devil worshiping. Its even got a sequel!

4. Favorite new band/artist? Hozier, I know he’s not really new but I just recently got into him, I freaking love his whole album.

5. Song(s) you listen to when you’re sad? Oh boy, alright so

A thousand years- Christina Perri

It will rain- Bruno Mars

Wanted- Hunter Hayes

Adele- make you feel my love, chasing pavements, when we were young

The last goodbye- Billy Boyd

After that I put on my 80’s playlist to get out of my feelings

6. Song(s) that always put(s) you to sleep?- I actually can’t fall asleep listening to music, I always want to hear the song. It’s the same way with TV, gotta be dark but not to dark and quiet or else forget about it.

7. Favorite alcoholic mixed drink (or non-alcoholic mixed drink if that’s not your cup of tea)? MARGARITAS BABY- lol I really love a good margarita, especially the flavored ones!

8. Favorite old school cartoon/newer cartoon?- awe man, I don’t have just one favorite there are many

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Codename kids next door

Hey Arnold

The Fairly Odd Parents

Powerpuff girls

Tom and Jerry

Looney tunes and Baby looney tunes

9. Desired number of children OR pets if children aren’t your thing which is 100% understandable: I think 3 would be enough for me kids wise and animals I’d like at least 2 cats and a dog.

10. What’s your honest impression of me (because I am a nosy bitch)???- Honestly I don’t really know, we don’t really talk but you do reblog my stuff which is always awesome.

Oh shit there was supposed to be 11. Uhhhhhhhhhm

11. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Man that’s a hard one, nothing is coming to mind right now other than people who act like assholes for no reason ( is that really a peeve?)

1.       What’s your favorite food?

2.       Favorite season?

3.       Favorite holiday?

4.       All-time favorite book?

5.       Thing you love most in the world?

6.       Do you have a favorite childhood memory?

7.       Your ultimate dream job?

8.       The one song you can listen to over and over and it never gets old?

9.       Favorite animated movie?

10.   One thing you can’t live without?

11.   Last but not least, where would you vacation if you could? Even if its not a real place

and I am tagging @luzde-laluna, @aquamarinespinnerlover, @anentireuncookedmeatloaf, @pinkrosesandbloodynoses, @foughtthewolvesofpatience, @barginbeautywithashbash, @captainbuckingamerica thats all I got, is it sad that I dont have 11 people?

[caffeine-nights]

I'm not very particular about asking questions so i'm just gonna ask you all of those space related asks that you reblogged earlier. do you know which ones im on about?xx

Yes yes, I know, it’s a long list haha!! xx 

pluto: what do you love most about yourself?Erm, it probably sounds ridiculous but I really like my personality. Because it’s the only part of me that I’ve really come to terms with, it’s the one thing that I know isn’t going to change and I’m not afraid to admit the things I’m passionate about… haha 

mars: who is your ideal best friend? I have the most terrible habit of distancing myself when I start to feel insecure or second guess myself, which is a problem. My ideal best friend would understand when I get upset over something small and simple and instead of argue, they’d ignore it and help me talk through what’s really bothering me. Other than that, I guess I just want someone that I really feel like I can trust. Someone that knows me really well that when I act a certain way, they understand, it’s just my insecurities getting to me. 

earth: what’s your ideal home? I don’t want something huge. I’d want a small lakehouse, with a roaring fire and a cozy kitchen, a big library and lots of windows and a porch so I can sit and watch the rain. 

 Saturn: what’s your aesthetic?Erm, coffee, rain, cute blue colours and large sweaters, old books and sarcastic quips. 

 Jupiter: if you could choose your own name, what would it be?Oh god, anything but what I was given at birth. I don’t know, maybe, Carmen or Allison. 

neptune: what’s an album that you can listen through entirely w/o skipping songs?Literally any of the Lana Del Rey albums, Halsey’s badlands and The 1975 album. 

venus: go to piece of clothing/outfit? A sweater black leggings and star wars socks (of which I have plenty) 

mercury: what’s something you couldn’t live without? My books. Without a doubt. 

uranus: what’s your zodiac sign? Aquarius. My birthday is coming up on the 27th. Yay! 

 the moon: favourite quote?My favourite quote is from my favourite poem ‘There Will Come Soft Rain’ by Sara Teasedale 

 “Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree, If mankind perished utterly;  

 And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn Would scarcely know that we were gone” 

 Seems a little depressing haha, but I find it so beautiful. 

 the sun: what motivates you? Erm, besides spite haha. A few things, fear, hope, dreams. So many! 

 kepler-22b: if you could go anywhere, where would it be/why?I really want to go to Canada. No where in particular but there are so many beautiful areas and I love the outdoors so much! 

 phobos: what was your favourite song as a child? Bruce Springsteen- Dancing in the Dark. What can I say, my mum has fantastic taste in music! 

ceres: out of everyone/thing in this world, who would you elect president? Oh god, it’s a toss up between Michelle Obama or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. No question at all. 

 titan: if you could dye your hair any colour and pull it off, what would it be?I pulled off blue quite nicely but I think, maybe, bright orange. Like a blinding bright as hell orange. 

 callisko: what’s your ideal job?I just want to stay in my lake house in the quiet, with a cup of coffee and I want to write. I was to publish books that make people feel the same way books make me feel. 

enceladus: who is your favourite person? What are they like?My favourite person is my mom. She can be a pain sometimes, but she’d do absolutely anything for me. And she’s so patient, she understand better than most parents would, she understand my problems that I don’t tell her about and she understands that it’s hard for me to open up properly and so she lets me know that it’s okay and that I don’t need to use my words, because she understands. Oh wow. That was deep. 

hyperion: do you have a favourite store/shop?Starbucks counts, i’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Waterstones is a must because… books; and lush because they have the best things ever. I could spend millions in there! 

comet: what’s your biggest secret? Oh hell, if I’m completely honest? I’m grateful for the things I have now, the “friends” I have left from high school. But if I’d never met any of them, I don’t think i’d be too bothered. It sounds harsh but there are so many reasons. My college friends on the other hand, the perfect example of friends and I’m thankful I met them. 

 asteroid: what’s your biggest fear? Is there a reason why you’re scared of it?Spiders. Any kind, big or small. I had an awful experience once and that just added on to the fact that I wasn’t keen on them in the first place. I’m also terrified of large area’s of water because I was almost drowned when I was 7. 

shooting star: who is your ideal s/o?My ideal significant other would be Peter Parker… but he’s fictional, so, I guess my type is cute and nerdy, someone who is willing to push me to be better rather than drag me down, someone who is always going to be supportive. I guess, just someone i’ll be enough for… 

Wow that was a lot… I think it’s safe to say, you probably know me better than most people ever have haha xx

#about me #personal #ask

[bangtantannie]

Love Yourself Series

This is just a very personal post so there’s no need to stop and read if you don’t want to. But if you do take the time to read this, I hope that you y’all will reblog, reply or make your own post (and tag me because I would love to read it) about your own feelings about this series and what you were experiencing throughout the release of this series.

Also, this is a very touchy subject for me as well seeing as I touch on a topic that is still very sensitive to this day, it gets a bit detailed as well... since this is really my first time putting this story into writing.

I haven’t been an ARMY for long. It’s only been a year that I could officially call myself an ARMY. But a year was enough. It was enough to get to know 7 men trying to make a difference in the world through music. It was enough to realize that these men wanted to make more than just a catchy song that will help them reach their fame. It was enough to know that people aren’t kidding at when they say that BTS (and other musicians of course) saved their lives. Unfortunately, the story of how I became an ARMY isn’t exactly a happy one.

The very day BTS released Love Yourself: Her, my family was torn apart. I had just gotten home from an extensive shopping trip to prepare for moving into my college dorm. The minute my grandpa pulled my mother aside to talk in private, I could feel something was very wrong. Granted, I didn’t pay any mind to it that moment, since I was listening to LY:Her to test the waters and see if this was a group I was going to add to the list I already stan. But the thought of something being wrong just wouldn’t go away. That feeling only worsened when my mother called my brother and I to have a family meeting of sorts. The only thing is... we don’t have family meetings.

The meeting was to tell us that someone had threatened to take my grandpa’s life. That person being my father. Just the thought of my father hurting anyone is hard to believe, so naturally, I started to cry. It wasn’t scrunched up face, sobbing cry. But the expressionless, tears falling down silently kind of cry. I just absolutely couldn’t wrap my head around what my mother had just told me. My mother is the type to rush into things if it means protecting the ones she loves, so she called the police. Soon enough, an officer came to my house and told her the measures she could take to protect herself and our family. She had decided she would go to court and try to file a restraining order on my father. 

Seeing as I had just became a legal adult at the time, my mother asked me if I wanted to be included as well, but I told her no. I wanted to hear my father’s side. I wanted him to call me and tell me he didn’t do it, I wanted him to reach out to me and tell me he was the man I always painted him to be. I wanted him to be the one to reach out because I was afraid to vocalize the thing that my grandpa claims my father threatened to do. Because saying those words out loud would make it feel even more real than it already was.

That night, I cried until 5 am. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t do anything. All I could do was cry while I clung to the lyrics of Pied Piper playing quietly in my room like my life depended on it. I tried so hard to focus on the song to distract myself from the things I heard that I seriously hoped the music would just take over and just relax. I felt like my world was crumbling into pieces, a world that had been broken my entire life. 

Fast forward to college starting a week later, two weeks later, three weeks later, maybe even four weeks later, not a single call from my father. Adjusting to a new living space and environment was already hard enough, watching what was left of a fragile family life turn to shambles only made it several times harder. Desperate to distract myself from what was or was not happening at home, I literally threw myself into my studies. It was also very hard to be alone if I wasn’t doing homework. I also struggled to socialize and make friends the first few weeks, and the lack of human interaction only made me fall deeper into my depression. I would silently cry on the phone while telling my mother that college was going well, and that I was having fun every night she called to check on me. I would skip meals if my roommate had already eaten, and when we did get to eat together (which was the usual case) I ate less than half of the plate that I created for myself, which consisted of a small scoop of about three food items being served. In the span of two weeks, I had lost about six pounds.

When my father finally reached out to me... I quickly realized I wouldn’t be hearing any explanation from him whatsoever. He only called because wanted me to testify for him, to render my grandfather a source that was not credible. Torn between deeply wanting to help my father but being strongly reluctant to testify as a witness against my own mother and grandfather, I just couldn’t handle the pressure I was creating for myself.  With a few calls every few hours coming from my father asking to be a witness for him in court to nightly phone calls of my mother recalling memories that would tarnish my image of my father, I almost dreaded every single phone call that came from my family. I had reached a point where seeing my father’s contact made me breathless. I even purposely missed calls to put off the only conversation that would happening, with the excuse that I was in class. I felt so bad every time saying I couldn’t testify in court because I had class that day, and the only thing that made it worse was hearing him say I need you over the phone. But the thing that only broke my heart even more was the thought that echoed in my mind, and where were you when I needed you? 

Every single day, I listened to LY:Her. Sometimes I would listen to other albums, but I always found comfort in LY:Her. When I was feeling particularly anxious, Jimin’s soft voice would bring my blurring vision back into sharpness. Taehyung’s deep voice would quiet the overwhelming thought that I was a failure of a daughter. Jungkook’s smooth voice would comfort me when I thought I was a pathetic human being for running away from my problems and simply watching as events unfolded. Jin’s clear voice would bring my scattered brain into focus. Namjoon’s poetic raps would keep me going, stopping me from just giving up, reminding that I had a purpose. Yoongi’s raps would bring me back to the present instead of dwelling on the past in search of things I could’ve done to prevent such an event from happening. Hoseok’s energetic raps took off some of the heaviness in my chest and quelled the frown when it felt the most overpowering.

Love Yourself:Tear had some of the songs that I really needed at the time. Watching my friends (which I had made a bit before our first break) struggle under mountains of schoolwork while I was off to the side playing SuperStar BTS because my workload was something I considered significantly lighter and not nearly as challenging is what my friends seemed to have, I felt a bit lost on my purpose at school once again. Hearing that it was okay not to have a dream, that it was okay to take a break, that I would be fine and I would have a safe space listening to BTS’ music was something I really needed to hear the second portion of the school year. 

And now we’re here, with Love Yourself: Answer, the end of the Love Yourself series. This album brings me back to each portion of the school year, all the ups and downs, ghosts of the feelings I had at the time, leading me to who I am now. A young woman aware of her flaws. And someone with hope, that it will get better. Although the issue within my family has been brushed under the rug, it is still something I know I will need to get closure on. I’ve gone from seeing my father five times a week to being lucky if he even messages me once every three weeks or seeing him once in a few months. One day I will gain the courage to reach out to my father and not go along with him when he briefly mentions the situation that had happened without even uttering a single detail of his side of the story.

Although I am far from truly being able to love myself, I’ve come a long way from the girl that would not hesitate to call herself an absolute failure. I’ve learned to put my needs first, instead of sacrificing my mental and physical health trying to help everyone else. I haven’t quite gotten around to opening up to my college friends about my personal life, but I feel like being able to post this semi anonymously to a social media website for countless strangers to scrutinize, empathize, or criticize is the first step to opening up to my friends in person about my struggles and hardship. I know I handled this situation very badly, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that what’s done is done, and all I can do is focus on the present and work toward making a better future.

Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and changing it for the better, thank you for making a very painful part of my life exponentially less painful than it would’ve been if the Love Yourself series hadn’t started then. Thank you, for saving me, because I truly do not know where I would be right now if it hadn’t been for you. Although it saddens me to see this series conclude, all good things must come to an end, even if I don’t want it to. I could only dream of doing this in person, but I could never thank you enough for creating the Love Yourself series. I do not know what will be following the Love Yourself series, but I will be there every step of the way, as a fellow ARMY until the end.

#personal #bts #ly:answer #ly:tear #ly:her #love yourself