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amikoroyaiart · 3 years

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Hello Amiko! What do you think about the fact that fandom is always pushing artists asking for more and more content every day to fill its black hole? I am a writer and there is no such pressure on us – but I see how everyone writes to artists and literally insists that they draw without interruptions for sleep, food and life in general. It must be terribly hard. I hope you are doing it well – judging by your progress in drawings you are still doing it for joy not because someone asks :)

Hi there Anon! Your ask gave me a lot of thoughts and I thought it was a really interesting topic so before writing my reply to you, I asked my two friends about it - one who writes fics and one who draws too to share their thoughts on this too. So let me start with the topic of the writers. I don't agree with you. I think they are under pressure as well but it works in a different way - they want the attention because of lack of it. It's hard to be a writer and to be noticed because while looking at art only takes you few seconds, reading something takes you minutes or hours, so it's harder to get attention. It's difficult to get feedback on your fics because lot of people don't leave kudos/likes or comments and it's thanks to them you want to continue to write. Now I know it's hard to leave a comment for some people(I am one of these people) but at least leave a kudos or reblog the link to the fic. Boost it. Also writing 'please update' doesn't encourage the author at all. Writers really lack the interactions with their readers and it forces them to drop the fic because what's the point if no one is reading it? Even if you say to yourself that you are writing this for fun, you can't deny that you love getting comments or interacting with your readers. It's like a big energy boost.

Now let's go to the topic of artists because this is something I can say more about. Nowadays the algorithms work in terrible way (I saw on Twitter someone comparing it to gambling - you never know the results of what will be popular and I 100% agree with it). I see a lot of artists on Instagram posting almost everyday to get the attention of algorithms, to get the likes and I get it but it's so easy to be burnt out later. And I was there. It was really overwhelming when I joined this fandom because of all the attention and I had the moment when I thought I have to post something every day or else people will forget about me but I quickly realized that this is wrong. I took a week break from art and I feel 100 times better with my art now(I am trying new things, I draw more background etc). As for requests this goes both ways. People will always use the fact that you are willing to draw something for free. I remember one guy from IG asking me to draw his two fav characters and when I sent him my commission prices he was suprised that I demanded money for that because it was 'his proposition that I SHOULD draw this'. No luv, this doesn't work like this. We need to value our free time. So when you are offering the requests, it's like offering your finger but people can take your whole hand. Just remember that it's your hand and you can fight back. People will send you the requests but it doesn't mean you have to do them. I know it's hard, I know you want to interact with your followers but think of yourself first. Always. And I also know it's like an addition or a trap and it's easy to go back to these habits (I literally did it this weekend haha) but fight it and appreciate your free time more.

As for the followers please do appreciate the artists more. Reblog the art, even without tags. Leave likes, leave nice messages. For me art is just a hobby. Yes, I am taking commissions but I treat it as separate income, money that I can use on things like games, books, figures etc. But I know that for lot of artists this is the source of income. So appreciate the fact that they are drawing for you for free from time to time and don't get angry when they don't do your request.

Sorry that this is so long, I have a lot of thoughts on this topic! As for me doing the request it's like I said, I have them open right now but I going to them from time to time ;) Patience my young padawans! <3

#long post

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ayellowcurtain · 3 years

Text

I can be your lover

Part 5

6 months later

Robbe bites the corner of his bottom lip while staring down, pulling the skin of his thumb until it hurts, ripping it off, brushing the dead skin to the ground carelessly. He grew used to just sitting here and being watched, it doesn’t bother him anymore, not too much at least.

He doesn’t know what to say. He’s been coming to therapy every week in hopes it would help him figure himself out but he feels the worst he’s ever felt.

“I feel useless.” Robbe answers the question that he didn’t get today yet. It’s always the first one so he decided to spare them the trouble. He looks through his eyelashes, finding his therapist staring at him in disapproval of using words such as useless to describe himself.

“I feel like everything is out of my control so there’s no point in trying, really.”

There’s a long silence, a slow breath out and Robbe sighs, relaxing on his chair, meeting his doctor’s eyes, finally even if he doesn’t feel completely comfortable doing so. He feels uneasy, exposed and it bothers him to have to deal with it.

“What happened?” Robbe looks at the notepad on her lap, all his stupid insecurities and mental problems probably written down for anyone to read if given the chance.

“Me and Sander had a fight.” It was the worst fight ever, with them talking over each other and loudly. Robbe loves Sander the same but it feels like it’s really the end this time. They can’t go on like this anymore, Robbe is really at the edge. “I don’t want to do this anymore but I still love him so it’s just...fucked up.”

He does some of the breathing exercises he grew used to doing in the past few months like she suggests he to do often when he’s feeling like this but he knows it won’t help this time, he’s too deep inside his head to let the anger and frustration go every time he breathes out, pretending he’s also letting go of the negative thoughts about himself. He should have cancelled this session because it’s not working, not even talking about it makes him change his mind, see things differently.

He should have stayed home and studied for his finals, it would be a better use of his time. She gives him a notepad and a pencil to do whatever he wants with it: write, draw, scribble. She doesn’t say that but it’s obviously her way to keep him from pulling more skin off his fingers. It’s already a little too late, most of his fingers are burning already but he tries to keep his hands busy anyway, drawing random shapes and lines.

Robbe puts his pencil down when there’s no more room in the page to draw.

“I need to walk away. It’s for the best for both of us. I’ll block him everywhere so I can’t see things and I’ll just let him be while he’s away. And if he ever comes back, maybe we’ll talk if he also feels like it.”

“I think you should calm down, think about it for a few days and not make a one way decision when there are two people involved.” Robbe looks at her and gives back the notepad, “I think he would like you to hear what he has to say about your decision. You two have been in an intimate relationship for a while. Not just romantically but as very close friends.”

Robbe shakes his head, putting his hands inside his pockets, closing his fingers around his thumb until it hurts, “I can’t talk to him or I’ll change my mind.”

12 months later

Robbe drops his keys on the little bench he bought to put right next to his door, the exact same layout as it was when he lived with Zoe and Milan (and then Senne. And Sander.). It was another long day of college and work, the last one of an endless week. He turns the lights on and takes his shoes off, kicking them under the bench. Tomorrow he will clean and organize properly. For now, he’ll leave everything as it is. The good side of living alone. The rest sucks but Robbe will never tell anyone about feeling like that. He never thought he was the type to need people around him every day, all day until he had to come home to an empty apartment every night.

It doesn’t happen that often, especially on the weekends, considering his friends are all over the city these days but it happens too often for Robbe’s liking. Zoe and Milan are out of town together, Senne offered to keep him company but they would be two grumpy and tired men so it would be useless. Jens is out of town too, Aaron and Amber are not an option - Robbe can’t have a disgustingly in love couple around anymore - and Moyo is with Britt and Noor. It’s good to be alone sometimes, he tries to convince himself as he reaches the kitchen, opening the fridge. Nothing other than the beers at the bottom excites him so ordering something for dinner it is. Robbe is starving so he makes a very quick search of his phone and decides for the italian restaurant that promises to deliver his food in less than half an hour.

Robbe opens his first beer of the night and throws himself on his couch, looking around, feeling like it’s a new place all of a sudden. Sometimes it hits him that he has his own place now. And that he’s alone. Therapy has been helpful and he can tell the difference when he’s about to have some pretty bad days in the worst possible mood and when his reality is just underwhelming in his eyes and he’ll get over it soon enough. He never thought this would be his life. It’s not a bad one but it’s not what he had planned.

He forces himself to get up once he manages to change his mindset and he takes his clothes off, leaving it on the living room so it’s closer to the laundry machine once he’s clean. He turns some music on and puts it to play all over the apartment, putting his phone down, singing along to Bowie as he shaves the scruff that was starting to get out of hand on his face, he takes a quick shower and while he’s putting his clothes to wash, his food gets home.

Robbe rushes down to grab it and thanks the delivery boy, rushing back inside, lighting some candles just because they’re there, getting dusty and old. He never bothered to buy a dinning table because there’s a small island right there. He sits on the stool and eats, staring at his food and the candle in front of them. His instagram isn’t as updated as it used to.

A long time ago Robbe decided to give himself more time offline, focusing on college and his internship and he’s been good at keeping that mindset most of the time, afraid to spend too many hours per day online, looking for what he’s still having to choose, day in and day out, to keep his distance from so he doesn’t hurt Sander even more.

But he doesn’t care as much tonight, so he takes a picture of his dinner for one and the sad candle in front of him and posts it to his stories, locking his phone instantly, putting it down to eat in peace.

He keeps glancing at it, careful like it could burn if he dared to grab his phone and check. It would be a lie if he said he doesn’t miss Sander but he has learned to live with it. Long distance wasn’t going to work. Robbe is happy for the ones that can jump out of their comfort zone but he can’t and he’s okay with it by now, after months and months of therapy. The only thing he can do is not drag other people into living life this way too if they don’t feel like it.

Sander is happy somewhere else and Robbe is happy that he’s happy. Easy as that.

He eats his food and washes the dishes he left this morning right after or else he would get too tired to do it before going to bed and he doesn’t feel like waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes. He washes his clothes and folds them once they’re dry and warm out of the drier. Plays some video games, and finally crashes into his bed, searching for some comfort movie to watch as he falls asleep. He doesn’t last half an hour watching it, he’ll have to start again if he really wants to watch this movie some other time, but thankfully he had already scheduled his tv to turn off after one hour and a half.

He miraculously wakes up only once in the middle of the night and almost as an afterthought, like he would do so often when he was younger, Robbe grabs his phone to check for any new notifications. Robbe read a lot about algorithms when he had nothing better to do one day because it felt like it’s a theme lately so he knows it doesn’t mean shit but he can’t help but stare at the first name on the list of people who watched his sad dinner stories.

earthlinggoddity

There’s the red-ish circle around his name but Robbe puts his phone down, the screen still bright staring at his mattress as he rolls to the other side, pulling the heavy comforter to wrap around him like a tight burrito, and he closes his eyes again. If he’s still thinking about it tomorrow, with an awake and fully functioning brain, he’ll watch whatever Sander posted if it’s still there. He shouldn’t do it now, half asleep or Robbe won’t be able to go back to sleep thinking about how badly he misses Sander.

He can’t remember his dreams when he wakes up, it’s like he blinked and it was morning already. He feels rested but still mentally tired or empty, one of the two.

His phone is still right next to him, under the pillow he never uses and so he grabs it, checking the notification that just popped on his screen a few minutes ago from Moyo.

What are you doing today, my friend? Felt like we could go skate, smoke a little bit, for old time’s sake.

Robbe sighs, clicking on it, opening his conversation with Moyo.

That sounds like a perfect Saturday to me, my friend. Meet in one hour? I’m still in bed…

While he waits for the answer, the three dots already dancing on his screen, Robbe shakes his head. It’s still somewhat early, just now past eleven so he wonders if Moyo had any sleep. He does sound in a great mood though, Robbe is happy for him but also envying his enthusiasm about life, so early on a Saturday morning.

Jesus Christ, bro. You used to be an early bird. Working your ass off isn’t paying off, huh? One hour and don’t be fucking LATE!

Robbe knows what changed that he’s not an early, happy-chappy human anymore but he won’t bother anyone else with that conversation again. He pushes himself up to put some clothes on and go meet Moyo, making a pitstop for a quick breakfast on his way there.

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sobbe #robbe x sander #sobbe fic #a little shorter and a little sadder

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owlmylove · 3 years

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I love your fashion sense and obviously it's not something you deal with yourself but I was wondering what you would suggest for someone who is pretty fat to kind of clean up their look because I mostly wear like graphic tees and like my nicest trousers are a pair of plain boot cut jeans lmao

Thank you so much for your kind words darling!! But, before you get too entrenched in the quicksand of comparison, I actually have dealt with that precise scenario. Multiple times to be honest, and while I’m fortunate enough to be able to find fitted clothes more easily than a few of my friends, I’m still bigger than most of them and have always been very aware of that growing up. There have been periods of my life (including right now tbh, #quar) where the function and comfort of my clothes has become overshadowed by the frustration and low-level embarrassment they inspire

That doesn’t mean the clothing is bad, or I was silly to wear it previously. It just means I’m changing, and so are my tastes. You can love your graphic tees and still want to try fancier pants on for size, and that’s all okay! Don’t let hyper-consumptive disposable culture try to guilt you into despising anything you may have once enjoyed, or been comforted by. Like foods, there’s no such thing as good or bad clothing. It’s just finding the clothes that fill your current needs and make you feel as good as you deserve.

BUT you came for fashion advice and fashion advice you shall HAVE babe. for cinematic purposes, please picture the following advice as a voiceover to our dressing room montage scene as i throw hangers over the door & applaud every time you do a lil catwalk spin

1. Fuck trends. They’re bullshit!! Unless you sincerely like the look of something and feel good in it, don’t fall into the trap of needing to wear the newest spring/summer anything. There’s nothing wrong with trying out a new style, but always remember the clothes’ job is to fit you; you don’t need to fit the clothes. If something doesn’t feel comfortable, or flattering, or right, that’s a failing on behalf of the clothing (and, most often, the designers’ limited understanding of the human body) and never on you.

2. Try stuff! I highly recommend trying on absolutely anything you have the faintest interest in*, trends included. Also: things you never in a million years would’ve tried on, but a friend/partner/random telepath recommended for you. It can be frustrating when things don’t work out, but that just teaches you something about what does and doesn’t work for you. Don’t think of your fashion sense as a pass/fail test, but a language you’re gaining fluency in. Learning what doesn’t work for your body can be as helpful as what does.

*Sidenote: This can be tricky in quarantine, but try online stores with free shipping/returns, and/or local stores that you can breeze through for returns. At-home try-ons also allows you to compare what you already have & see how new pieces could be incorporated into your wardrobe.

3. Learn your type. I hate categories of any kind but fuck me, my body type actually does serve as a helpful guideline for what does and doesn’t work on me. For instance: I’ve been wearing exclusively high waistbands for the last, oh, 6 years, bc I wanted to contain my lovely soft stomach and delineate my waist. But this actually just cuts me in half like a magician’s assistant, and I counterintuitively look better in one-piece swimsuits and un-tucked (but fitted!!) shirts. Hence: learn your body type, research what works for your body type, and try some of what they recommend.

3.1. Break the rules. Anarchism baby!!! Everyone knows that learning the rules is the first step to breaking them. Research what science says is supposed to look good, but also trust your intuition on what you feel good in. Datasets can’t allow for individual tastes, and that’s where real fashion comes from (rather than just algorithmic minimalist capsule wardrobes)

4. Look for patterns. Obviiiiiiiously not just in prints (though I’m weak for stripes and polka dots, everyone around me is well aware) but in the cut, drape, and construction of what you love. Breaking down the elements of what brings you joy helps you recognize more of it out in the wild. But think about function too! What do you like and dislike about the fit of your shirts? Do you like the flair of boot cut jeans? Hate their length? Which elements of construction would you like to avoid in the future, and which would you like to see more of?

5. Find inspiration. If you don’t already have a sense of what you do and don’t want to add to your wardrobe, try giving Pinterest and/or moodboards a whirl. Look to people whose style you admire (and try Instagram [but avoid the identical influencer mill], Pinterest, cool Etsy boutique owners, etc). Compare their builds as an artist might, focusing not on comparative aesthetics but form. Do they use certain waistlines that would complement yours? What about colors? Finding someone with your exact body type & coloring can be extremely difficult depending your race and size, but you may be able to find influences who can guid you in one regard but not the other. Let them help you learn what you love without limiting you to just one style.

6. Go (bargain) hunting. I maintain some things are worth spending money on — facial moisturizer, a tailored white button down, and well-fitted pants to be precise — but I almost exclusively shop clearance racks. If you’re still in the process of figuring out what you do and don’t like, there is something to be said for starting with inexpensive brands as training wheels. Discount stores like Marshalls can yield a lot of good stuff, while Etsy, resale platforms, and thrift stores can do the same for relatively low prices (and yield some p. unique pieces.) Once you know the silhouette, colors, and cuts you enjoy, that’s when I recommend investing in a $100 pair of jeans that you know will serve you for years.

Finally: Once you have a collection of things you love, experiment with them! Try them on in different combinations, add a hat, try different earrings, etc. etc. As you settle into your new wardrobe, new outfit formulas will emerge that you know you can rely on in the rushing, early mornings without feeling stressed by the question “what do I wear???” (honestly, the biggest unsung benefit of a good wardrobe is just the decrease in anxiety)

Also: I recommend looking for pieces you love first and foremost, rather than entering the fray with a shopping list of “gray blazer, navy blazer, white shirt, black shirt,” etc. Not to say I don’t own each of those basics (which are good to have!) but those kinds of Pinterest minimalist capsules work best for instant-professionalism sans personality. If that’s you need, go for it! But if you’re excited to develop your sense of style, give yourself the time and space to discover what brings you joy. Learning your tastes should be an ongoing experiment throughout life. Don’t let previous ensembles dictate future purchases (unless they’re inspiring them!!)

And, for what it’s worth, I actually still have a bunch of the graphic tees I was once so embarrassed of wearing when I was younger. And for what? They were comfortable, convenient, and expressed what I was passionate about at the time. The ones I really loved, even if I no longer fit into, still make me so happy as records of the person I was. I think taste and selves grows outward, like the rings of a tree, and there’s nothing wrong with remembering your roots c:

Excessive tree pun alert, and sorry for being sappy, but I hope this rambling love letter to style could help! I’m sending you all the fairy godmother energy I am capable of from afar darling<333

#fashion #style #Anonymous

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theotherackerman · 3 years

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Friday January 22nd

chapter twenty-five: said i'm fine but it wasn't true

It was Mikasa and Levi’s grandfather’s birthday.

Mikasa only knew it was by the calendar in the kitchen.

“He was an ass anyway. You didn’t miss much by not knowing him,” Levi informed her as he did every year.

Armin and Eren left that afternoon.

--------------------

Apparently being a dumbass was contagious.

While Zeke was trying to process the file Levi had given him, Armin had dropped Eren off back at the house on Friday morning.

"Niccolo and Sasha broke up," Eren informed him. "Well, not that they were actually together yet…"

Zeke groaned. "Why?"

"Apparently, he had some issues with her still being friends with Connie...is Pieck drunk on our couch? It's not even the afternoon!"

"You're one to talk, tiny Jaeger," Pieck said from the couch.

"Oh see that dumbass there just broke up with her boyfriend too," Zeke said as he pointed at her.

"He wasn't my boyfriend!"

"Wait, is this the mystery guy? Who was he?"

Pieck face planted into the couch and mumbled something that Eren and Zeke didn't understand.

"Is she drunk?" Eren asked him.

"On sugar probably. She already ate the last of the ice cream."

Eren didn’t say anything as he went to his room upstairs.

Zeke looked over the still face planted Pieck.

“Will you go talk to him already? It is not too late to go back and tell him you are a dumbass,” Zeke said as he looked at the scans of the file on his computer.

“It is! I broke his heart and now he’s going to go out with a younger woman.” Pieck said as she sat up.

Why did Zeke have to be the only sane one in his group of friends?

“You didn’t see his face, Zeke. I destroyed him and just left. Without looking back.”

“Pieck...go back. Go admit your fuck up.”

Zeke had seen Pieck cry a handful of times. Once when her father had been diagnosed with cancer and the other when Dina had died.

But not like this.

Pieck hadn’t been in many relationships. She always said things like she was allergic to relationships or why waste time on something that statistically wouldn’t work out. No, Pieck was married to her art.

It was this moment that Zeke realized Pieck had said all of these things to keep herself safe from this.

The tears were streaming down her face.

Eren came downstairs and stopped there.

“Pieck….” Eren said as he crossed to Pieck.

“I just see him in my head. I go back and he’s already with her. She’s so much younger and prettier than I am. I just...I can’t. Eren, I’m sorry,” Pieck apologized.

“Why?” Eren asked.

Zeke moved from the table over to sit next to Pieck.

“He’s your friend and you’re going to find out very soon. It’s Jean. I’m sorry,” Pieck began crying more.

Zeke did not have the first clue about what to do. Neither did Eren.

“I’m going to make a phone call,” Eren said before stepping out of the room.

“Don’t! It has to be over. I don’t want to feel this….anymore..”

“Okay,” Eren said. “I won’t call Jean.”

Eren stepped out of the room.

After what happened with Armin and Mikasa, Eren said he wouldn’t lie about things like this anymore. But Eren had to lie this time.

He went out of the room and pressed Jean’s contact in his phone.

“What do you want, Jaeger? Now is not a good time,” Jean’s voice rang out on the other side of the phone.

“Are you in love with Pieck?” Eren asked.

“What? Why is that any of your business?”

“Because she’s crying to Zeke in my living room right now.”

“She’s the one who ended it. Not me! So don’t come at me about it.”

“I’m not. I just..”

“What do you want me to do, Eren? Beg her to stay? I told her just to say the word and I’d tell my mom not to set me up on a date. I told her I loved her. She said she didn’t feel the same. She said she didn’t love me and it was just sex. So no, I’m not fucking begging her when she’s made her feeling perfectly clear. We’re not you and Mikasa. If she wanted to be with me, she had the chance.”

Eren couldn’t argue with that.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said after a moment.

“It’s whatever. I’ll bounce back. I mean how can I not? I’m me.”

“If you need to talk…”

“You’d be the one I’d call?”

“If anyone knows about losing the one they love…”

“Well, you’ve got a point there. You do know about fucking things up, don’t you? You idiot. How is that going by the way?”

“Good.”

“Good. Don’t do that again.”

“Oh. Don’t worry. I won’t. By the way, why didn’t you make a move on Mikasa when we were broken up?”

“Because unlike you, I’m not an idiot.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dropped that idea the day I asked her out and she turned me down. She told me she had feelings for you and then when I saw you two together the next day, I knew. You two were meant for one another. Even if you’re an idiot who fucked it up, I wasn’t. I knew there was no way I could compete with you...when it comes to Mikasa.”

“Did you just say something nice to me?”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“Okay, horseface.”

“Fucking idiot.”

“...you want to get online and shoot some shit?”

“Give me ten minutes.”

“Don’t pull my rank down.”

“Don’t pull mine.”

--------------

Pieck eventually stopped crying.

Zeke patted her on her back while she cried.

And Pieck cried until she couldn’t cry anymore.

She was done.

“So teach me another song.”

“Do you..”

“No.”

“Okay. Yeah, sure.”

----------------

Mikasa’s writer’s block had begun to disappear. She spent most of the day in the sun room writing lyrics to one of the unfinished pieces she had from Historia.

Annie had given up on work half way through her shift and shuffled into the sun room where Ymir was restringing her acoustic guitar.

The sound of power tools in the basement could be heard.

“They having any luck down there?” Annie asked before she sat down in one of the chairs.

“They brought up some ripped out carpet,” Ymir said as she tightened the string down.

“So this is actually happening. We’re going to record,” Annie gave a small smile.

“We’ve come a long way in a little over a year,” Ymir replied as she finished tightening the string down. “Speaking of coming a long way, how’s our social media numbers looking?”

Annie sighed, “well, Facebook sits at the same numbers. Twitter gained a few. YouTube has gone up. Instagram is the problem. We’re dropping views on whatever we post in the feed.”

“Why?” Mikasa asked as she stopped playing.

“It’s the algorithm. The more people who see and interact with our stuff, the more it spreads but it has to show up on the feed first. We’re fucked sometimes. I’ve been trying to put everything into stories where I can but people still have to interact with it.”

“You remember the days when things were just chronical on our feeds?” Ymir asked. “Now you have to be a math genius like Annie to get anywhere.”

“To be fair, I still haven’t beat it.”

“You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“We all need to interact with the posts. That’ll help too. I know we have been but we have to keep it up.”

“Just tag me in that shit and I’ll share it everywhere. Speaking of genius...are we going to have another new song or what?” Ymir asked as she looked over at Mikasa.

“I’m working on it. Have we thought about the idea of collaborating with The Restorationists? Their follower numbers are larger than ours. Plus, they just got a new bassist. Might be a good idea to see if they want to do a livestream with us or something,” Mikasa said before she shrugged.

“What about Niccolo and Sasha?” Ymir asked.

“Yeah, I’m worried about that too,” Mikasa sighed.

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask,” Annie shrugged.

-----------------

Sasha kept her word of not speaking to Niccolo for a little bit. He didn’t try to contact her and she didn’t try to contact him. However, as Sasha had said, the farm was doing great at the farmer’s market. Mr. Blouse even gave both Sasha and Historia a bonus when they finished work today.

“I don’t know how we’re going to have four guitars,” Ymir scoffed.

“And a bass,” Annie added.

“Yeah, that too. I love the song as much as you all do but I’m wondering how we’re going to pull it off.”

“What about a collaboration with The Restorationists?” Annie asked.

“Oh yeah. Niccolo did tag us on their Instagram. We should do that,” Sasha said.

“Even with you and Niccolo being all….whatever?” Ymir asked.

“I can be professional. Besides, I thought you all wanted this to be a more stripped down song. I can use the cajón,” Sasha shrugged.

“What the fuck is a cajón?” Ymir asked.

“The percussion box,” Sasha answered.

“Then just call it that!”

“This song is pretty personal, Historia. I’ll leave it up to you,” Sasha said before she hit the cymbal, causing Ymir to jump.

Ymir responded with a very horrible sound from her bass.

Annie sat down on the piano bench next to Mikasa and Historia as she sighed.

“It is pretty personal,” Mikasa said as she looked over Historia.

“We need four guitars, two percussion, and a bass. Can they read music?” Historia asked.

“Eren can,” Mikasa answered.

“Pieck is their bassist now. She can read music,” Annie said.

“Didn’t she work at the tutoring center with you for a while?” Ymir asked.

Annie nodded.

“Small world,” Ymir said.

“That leaves Zeke and Niccolo,” Historia said.

“Niccolo can,” Sasha answered before looking down.

Levi walked by the sun room with Sawney and Bean following him.

“Hey Levi, can Zeke read music?” Ymir asked.

“Why would I know the answer to that?” Levi asked as he stopped.

“He’s your therapist. Maybe you two bond over music or something. I don’t know but do you know?”

“No, I don’t. It really doesn’t come up in conversation.” He continued on his path with Sawney and Bean followed him.

“I’m sure Zeke can read music. I can always call Eren after practice,” Mikasa said as she turned to the next page of her sheet music.

“Are you okay with it being a collaboration, Mikasa?” Historia said.

“I’m okay with it,” she smiled.

“Guess that settles that. Just need to ask The Restorationists. Do you want me on bass, electric, or acoustic for this song?” Ymir asked.

“Acoustic,” Historia and Mikasa said at the same time.

“All of our band…” Historia started.

“On acoustic,” Mikasa finished.

“Add their band here,” Historia said as she pointed to the music.

“Should we do all five of us singing this lyric here?” Mikasa asked.

“Wait, I didn’t agree to sing on this song!” Sasha said as she stood up from her drum set.

“Oh yes, let’s do that. That should be low enough for everyone to sing, right?” Historia asked.

“It’s hopeless, Sasha. They’re in the zone. They’re not hearing a thing we’re saying,” Ymir said as she put her bass down on its stand.

“If that’s the case, I’m going to go figure out what to make for dinner,” Sasha said as she left the sun room.

“I’m going to go make myself some more tea before I get morning sickness again,” Annie said as she placed her guitar on the stand.

Historia and Mikasa were left alone in the sun room to continue work on the song.

While Rod Reiss sat on his throne, his daughter was dismantling it in her music.

#mmtylif #my writing

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prorevenge · 5 years

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But I Don’t Even Have a Contract!

When I was 16, I had a stint as a small-time social media star on Twitter — not because I’m particularly interesting or anything, but for two reasons: a) I got on Twitter really early in 2007 when it was way easier to get followers and engagement due to the site being less noisy and more ‘stupid’ in terms of algorithms and b) I stood out from a lot of other minor Twitter stars because I didn’t let it get to my head; while a lot of them were egotistical and haughty, I followed everyone back, turned ‘haters’ into friends instead of retaliating, etc.

Through this fleeting fame, my former boss found me. He said he was setting up a regional media studio to help small- and medium-sized local businesses with their social media marketing, and he planned to eventually franchise the business into other cities. He hired me on the basis of my large social following (81,000 followers at the time). Obviously, having a large social following doesn’t automatically mean you know how to market businesses on social media, but I adapted and studiously researched how to do my job properly.

My boss didn’t come from a creative background or a marketing role — he came from a property background, and was just sort of winging it in finding an alternative source of income after the housing crash. Being as young as I was at the time, I didn’t really think about any of this stuff. The outcome was that I never received any training, had no real guidance in what I was doing, and was generally left to my own devices. Younger me thought it was great! I saw it as ‘freedom’, but looking back, I realize it was far too much freedom.

The side effects of this disparity between my social media skills and his inability to communicate creative ideas manifested themselves as people trying to cut past the business and come straight to me, asking me directly as an individual whether I’d do work for them rather than give my boss the money. I was respectful (or naïve) enough to open up to my boss about this, and that’s when things started getting a little bit manipulative. He told me I could go my own way or remain part of a business that’d soon be growing across the country.

Fair enough, I thought. So I stayed, and one year in (I was 17/18 at this time) I realized that managing brands via social media had naturally morphed me into something of a graphic designer. A lot of my time was spent creating eye-catching visuals in Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign etc. and so I suggested to my boss that we expand our media offering to include logo, graphic, and print design, and visual branding consultancy. Again, I received no training — I worked all day and self-studied late into the night.

This pattern snowballed over the years. By the time I was 21, I was a social media manager, visual branding designer, copywriter, photographer, video editor, and web developer — all skills I developed independently with no input or guidance from my boss. The business was still operating in just one city, and my boss had started spending less and less time in the office. I still didn’t realize this wasn’t particularly normal, until clients who came to the office to meet me constantly asked where he was.

One day, a client went as far as to say: ��You’re basically running the business at this point!” It was a huge ‘glass shatter’ moment for me, and I suddenly realized that, yeah, although I wasn’t actually managing the business and its admin work etc., without me, there wouldn’t be a service or product to sell. What’s more, my wages hadn’t gone up, even though my ‘this is great, I have so much freedom!’ mind-set had motivated me to continue working on stuff related to the business when I got home.

As I was nearing 22, the owner of the building where the business’ office was located asked me if I’d help him fix his computer (it was just running really slowly because he hadn’t managed his files very well). Not really thinking of it as work, I agreed, and headed into his office after work to help him out. As luck would have it, my boss walked in to hand over that month‘s rent, so he saw me there. He looked surprised, but didn’t comment — he just gave the dude the rent and left the building.

The next day, my boss wasted no time in probing me about what I was doing. He was speaking to me like a cop would speak to a suspect, asking me how long I’d been doing work for the landlord, what kind of work I was doing, why I hadn’t folded the work into the business, etc. I explained I was just fixing up his computer, and he leapt into a lecture about how we needed to keep all work inside the business, or else we would never be able to grow into other cities.

I turned 22. I’d been there for five years, my wages hadn’t gone up, I wasn’t allowed to do any work outside of the business, I hadn’t witnessed any of the growth I’d initially been promised, my boss was only in the office 25% of the time, and I saw him uploading Instagram Stories from him lunching, working out at the gym, walking his dogs, taking day trips etc. while I was in the office managing everything. A lot of the time he didn’t even warn me he’d not be in the office. It became the norm that if he didn’t turn up, I’d be running everything for the day. Because I’d grown with the business from my youngest working age, I didn’t know any different, so all of this felt completely normal to me. And because I worked all day and all night and had no firm social life, I never got any outside perspective, until one day, on a whim, I opened up to the landlord about it. He hadn’t even realized I was the one doing all the work — he figured it was split fairly 50/50. He said the amount of work I was producing was on the same level as an agency with three or four employees.

I started managing all of the branding, social media, and website maintenance for the landlord’s business, but didn’t broadcast that news to anyone. As I was nearing the age of 23, I met my now-fiancée, a perfectly feisty woman who, as soon as I told her about my situation, passionately advised I start my own media studio. This is where I entered the ‘long breakup’ period of my job, where I got increasingly depressed at work and physically felt my productivity slow to a near-halt. My boss noticed, but never talked to me about it face-to-face. He started sending me irritated emails full of swear words demanding explanations for why I hadn’t delivered certain work by certain times and dates, while he was off sunning at the beach. It was like someone had pulled out his cork and let all the toxicity out in one torrent. My girlfriend hated him, and gently pushed me to the point where I felt like I was ready to confront him about the dead end we’d wound up in.

I asked a few of my friends about it, just to get a wider set of viewpoints on how I should go about it. They asked me things like, what does your contact say about you leaving the company and working with other businesses independently? Legal stuff, y’know. And that’s when I realized my lack of training over the past six years had also left me ignorant of the formalities of employment — I never had a contract! The real kicker was, I never had employee liability coverage either. My boss wasn’t even doing the admin stuff properly.

Obviously, that meant he also had no control over me when it came to contracts, so I literally just walked in (without my laptop — I’m now just realizing he never provided equipment either, yikes) and sat there waiting for him to arrive. Thankfully, it was one of the days he decided to turn up. He went and sat down in his chair, asked me where my laptop was and why I wasn’t working etc., and so I just straight-up told him that I was leaving the company to start my own media venture.

He laughed a patronizing laugh and simply said, “Alright, good luck then.” Part of me felt like this was normal, because he was usually quite cold like that, but another part of me knew that there should have been some sort of emotion and deeper discussion in that moment. I wanted to say, “so that’s it, then?” to try to flesh the talk out, but that really was it. He just turned to his computer and began typing away as if I wasn‘t there. So I just turned around and left, went home, and that was it.

He did WhatsApp me a message later that day (all his caring and considerate communication came through digital means — perhaps he hired someone on a zero-hour contract to inject emotion into his texts?) asking if we could meet at the pub for a proper goodbye. And we did. It was a nice gesture, but it felt very awkward and forced, as if he’d spoken to someone about it and they’d coaxed him into doing it. He shook my hand, wished me good luck (much more genuinely this time), and we parted ways.

Three months later, I’d tripled my income as a freelancer. All of those clients who’d try to come to me directly over the years — it was like a floodgate had opened, and they all came rushing to me. I hadn’t told them I’d left, but obviously, they realized it themselves when they went to the office and I was never there. I felt bad about ‘stealing’ clients away from my former boss, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just abandon the people I’d been working with just because of morals. That‘d be immoral, if anything. I continued working with the landlord and even travelled with him a few times to build my solo filmmaking portfolio by documenting his brand’s work across the UK, including his talks at business seminars. We developed a very close working relationship, to the point where just my work for his company was earning me more than all the work I did for my former boss. He started sharing a few bits of gossip with me about how my old boss had begun paying rent later and later. I figure perhaps his cash flow had something to do with it, but the landlord also showed me an email my old boss had written in which he’d expressed his anger at the landlord for ‘colluding’ with me and pushing me to leave his company.

The further I distanced myself from the company, the more I realized how toxic he behaved towards everyone he came into contact with. I could never see it from the inside. Every time I checked the old company’s website, a new service had been removed, because it wasn’t something he could offer anyone anymore.

Back in November 2018, the landlord told me that he was kicking my old boss out of the office after he failed to pay rent for three months. A few weeks after that, the landlord proposed that we go into business together to create a separate media studio solely focused on the industry his business operates within. He said that we’d take the old company’s office once my former boss had moved out, and that I could also use that office for my own freelance venture, free of charge.

One year after leaving, I’ve taken 25% of my old boss’ clients, occupied his office, and quadrupled my income.

There’s a part of me that feels guilty about all of this — he’s a guy who didn’t quite know what to do after the housing market crashed and tried something out which didn’t go too well. But at the same time, I can’t feel too bad for someone who I believe took advantage of me for half a decade. If you treat someone with disrespect, you end up with very little. If you treat someone with respect, they give you a free office and offer to start a new business with you.

TL;DR: Boss never did anything properly — no training, no contracts, no insurance, very little respect, not much guidance, empty promises about business growth, etc. Everything I learned independently resulted in me quadrupling my income and taking over his office within a year of leaving his company.

(source) story by (/u/Adingding90)

#prorevenge #by /u/Adingding90 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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swafena · 4 years

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Why Start Shopping Online?: 5 Steps To Safe Shopping From Sketchy Social Media Stores

After Instagram added the Instagram Checkout payment tool these sketchy Instagram stores that pop up in my ads became even more irresistible. Just while seeing my friend’s Insta story of him dancing like crazy last night these bags pop up in my ads . Am I crazy or I’ve just became in a desperate need of a new bag? If you don’t know what I’m talking about you are not using Instagram the right way. Then again, excuse my previous judgment, you might be a guy and the Instagram Bags store might not be targeting you! Anyhow, whatever Instagram stores are targeting you, aren’t these ads so seductive. I don’t even have money and they still lure me in to buying their things. Having said that, Instagram Stores sometimes can be somewhat untrusty. I don’t want to give out my banking details to someone in India that is just waiting for my stupid ass to purchase that fake bag. I know the bags are persuasive but I kind of don’t want to get robbed from stupidity. In this article you can find

But First, why you should start shopping on Instagram?

Let’s be honest, 21st century is all about standing out and Instagram stores are exactly the place where you can find those unique fits.

I personally have come across such exclusive brands through pop up ads. I am always am left shocked by how I’ve never heard about their products previously. In particular my favorite discovery was the brand “Motel Rocks”. They offer exceptional designs that make your figure out of this world. I know that they’ve recently attracted quite a lot of attention but I’ve ordered some pieces from them even before the huge hype only due to pop up adds.

Let the Algorithm work in your favor

If we forget for a moment of how every platform just waits for us to search for something so they can start bombarding us with adds, the algorithm can actually work in our favor. In reality, Instagram shows you only the adds that you’ll be

interested in. Take advantage of that! How to do that? - you ask, well it’s pretty easy. For instance, this one time I wanted to buy myself some distinctive jewelry and I typed jewelry store in the search section of Instagram. Sadly, I couldn’t find anything that really appealed to my style. I kid you not, literally two minutes later some rings popped up in my suggested page. The more I deep dive in to the jeweler world of Instagram, the more jewelry adds started following me. After only few minutes I wasn’t the one looking for rings and necklaces but the brands were seeking me as a client. This really helped me find the perfect jewelry designs even though I was not even putting effort but was just paying attention to my suggested adds.

Read the Reviews, Please!!!

Instagram is such an accessible platform. Everyone has a profile and it’s easy to review something. It’s even easier to comment your opinion on one of the brand’s posts. Therefore, for us the clients, reading the reviews becomes even simpler. In particular, I was looking at this store that offered swimsuits.

I loved the designs but I wasn’t sure about the legitness of the company because they didn’t have a big following. For the purpose of me getting the perfect summer fit I had to turn on detective mode which is why I started deep diving in to their comments section. That was useful to some extent, yet I would personally recommend going through their tagged photos. This is where you’ll see real people wearing the real products. Not only that but many vloggers will review small boutique products or make big clothing hauls for huge brands. Therefore, you might even see an actual rough video and an actual rough opinion of the thing that you want to purchase.

Check Prices while scrolling through their feed.

Literally, having an Instagram store is equal to having a website these days. You can get access to all the information you need just while scrolling through photos. Isn’t that the best? I can spend so much money without even realizing. Putting aside the fact that I’m soon to be broke, I honestly enjoy the simplicity of using the platform. I don’t even have to go to the actual website and I can check the prices of fits that I desire. It’s convenient, especially in the cases where brands are extremely overpriced and I can’t afford them. It takes me only one tap to feel the disappointment but it saves me so much time.

Secure your bank details by Using Virtual Cards

Needless to say, one of the biggest cons of Instagram stores is that some of them are very untrustworthy. They might offer compelling products but at the same time you have no grantee that you will actually get your products. That’s why trusting them is not the easiest task. The number of data breaches around the world was up by 33% since last year and the total number of exposed reports have doubled. This has made everyone online be hesitant about giving their personal data to unreliable online store. I personally would never give my bank card details to any online store. The way I shop online is by using virtual cards. First and foremost, these cards could be linked to an alternative account than your primary and provide additional security features. I can top them up whenever I want to and I can freeze them as easily. My personal favorite thing is that I can distribute my budget better. For example, If I haven’t spent anything on clothes last month, I could top up the account that my virtual card draws money from. Thus, I’ll be able to have a specific portion of my budget for my online shopping. It’s perfect because this stops me sometimes from overspending too much on online shopping. If you want to have a variety of Virtual cards like I do, you can use “iCard”. The app sadly operated only in Europe. I’ve tried similar applications but it never worked out in my favor. I like “iCard” because I can actually distribute my budget in a more secure and proper way. On the other hand, I like their stylish products like the NFC Keychains - keychains through which you can make contactless payments. Amm, excuse me, if am going to spend my entire salary on pointless purchases at least I could do it with style.

So, now that you know how to securely spend your money on the Internet, go and get something new to walk around your house in. The pandemic might have made us feel sad and lonely but you know what they say – “Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to go shopping!” Enjoy!!!

#online #shopping #online shopping #instagram

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crazyperfectsense · 4 years

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4/30/20/1

god April was 5 minutes long and I’m going to spend all 5 of them writing this post

this is honestly probably far too personal to put into the public of the internet, and perhaps I’ll take it down before anyone really sees it, but Tumblr is comforting because it is almost a graveyard and the people who remain (who I see in fleeting posts in passing, hi) I trust (or just will not see this because they do not care or the algorithm does not favor long text posts), whereas Facebook is horrifying and Instagram is worse, and this is likely going to be too long to hold anyone’s attention for the whole thing, but I also want to get some notes down for whenever I finally get to talk to my therapist again, so here we go

I woke up at 6:30am naturally (horrifying!), leapt out of bed because I realized how much work I had to do (hate when a nap turns into just...sleep!), and got a text from my dad 15 minutes later that my maternal grandfather was in critical condition, and somehow still managed to do work for the next six hours out of necessity

it briefly brought back flashbacks to 2012, where my dad didn’t tell me for a week that his father died because I had finals my first semester of college, but told me right after he picked me up as we were driving across campus to pick up a friend that we were taking back home, so I had about 3 minutes to compose myself before a 2 hour car ride (horrifying!)

my grandfather died around 1pm, and I had the truly unique (horrifying! ! ! !) experience of finding out via text while I was on a Zoom call as the TA, where I was the only person sharing video other than the professor (my advisor!), and I had to keep my composure while simultaneously finishing creating the homework that I was behind on making while also trying to figure out what to respond to this text notification of mortality, because I don’t know how to say any sort of condolence really in Chinese, but my dad was handling communications and just texting in English anyway — and I don’t know, it’s the kind of thing where I probably could’ve ditched the call and made excuses later, but the effort to preserve even the slightest tinge of normalcy in this moment seemed right, and I did my very best (and succeeded!) to not spontaneously burst into tears on camera, even though I did about 0.03 seconds after I hung up

an aside: thank god that my advisor was sharing screen and people were hopefully focused on him / in speaker mode or something, because my neutral face is....poor! not entirely sure because I avoided making eye contact with my virtual self aside from brief checks to make sure that I was still alive, still functioning as I flickered from screen to screen across my two monitors

I had a meeting scheduled with my advisor afterwards, and he was all ready to move into it, but was so extremely understanding the second he saw my message I had sent 50 min earlier that was effectively “can we push this back a bit because my grandfather died and I need to call my fam lol” and suggested (as any normal person with emotions would) that I take the time to formally postpone and regroup if needed (needed!) rather than just pushing back a half hour or so like I naively thought would work

I had to desperately cry for about 20 minutes (horrifying!) before I felt ready to call my family, even so

I hate hearing my mom sad! it’s the fucking worst! but it was a relief for 2 seconds to exist over a phone line with someone who also couldn’t talk straight without needing to take a few gasping breaths

another aside: i didn’t write about this in February because, well, everything was on fire in my life already, so briefly: my mom was supposed to be in China through mid-March, having gone there in October. things obviously went to shit, given *gestures at COVID-19 and the world*, and we booked her an early return flight, given that the senior living facility my grandparents were in had already closed to visitors out of precaution. my brother, dad, and I collectively freaked the fuck out (my brother started crying in the middle of class and had to leave, I barely held it together in mine but paid negative attention) when flights back from China started getting cancelled (and for those like, terrifying few hours where Trump was going to ban foreign nationals since my mom’s not a citizen and they didn’t make it clear that immediate family of US citizens were fine), but we somehow made it happen

so, back to the phone call: I just let her talk and she had so many regrets about leaving China when she did, and it just made me feel like the shittiest person for wanting her back home in America when it deprived her of the chance to see her dad one more time. my uncle and mom luckily got to take my grandparents out of the senior home for one night to celebrate Chinese New Year the day before the facility closed to visitors, so they had one last dinner together as a family but thinking about the what ifs makes me want to cry all over again. my mom just kept saying how she wished she could’ve done more, how she wished they had gone to the hospital earlier for a check-up, and the most I could helplessly contribute was “coronavirus concerns were already rampant and it could have been even worse, given airborne contagion,” even if I said as many other things as I could, about how dialysis was painful as hell and my grandfather, the former doctor, said he didn’t even want to be in the ICU at the end years before his passing

I learned what the Chinese words were for “depression” today, when my mom said my grandfather said he had it and they had gotten him some medication for it a few months ago, and I was so stunned that it was “depression” and not some strange disease I was unfamiliar with that I couldn’t say anything for 30 seconds, and I can’t really write more on this point because I will just start crying, but perhaps I should really think about how aging research is largely focused on non-Asian populations and how perhaps, I’m uniquely equipped to contribute a bit to the field here (but, that is true for so many things, and I am tired!)

my grandfather was great. he was quiet, but stubborn as hell. he was a doctor, and he loved routine. he cared so, fucking, much about me and my brother. he always insisted on taking my brother and me on walks to the same few places that he liked to visit — I remember visiting this community center that had a ping pong table — and him going out of his way to find me internet access, since my grandparents’ apartment didn’t have it for most of the years I visited. he loved taking me and my brother to KFC, because he thought it was the height of Americanized cuisine in China, and was so proud of how much better it was than American KFC (which he hadn’t had, but he knew, and he was right. we would eat every single bite of a two-piece meal each. even the ketchup was better). he once cut out a newspaper clipping ranking UT as the #2 college on this huge list of colleges (I think it was referring to research endowments, but anyway) and saved it to show me almost a year later. he told me in 2013 that he would probably live to see me finish college, and he lived to see me two years into grad school, dying when I was halfway through year three. he was 89. I loved him so much, even if we didn’t get to talk much at all.

I’m so mad at all these fucking people who, in the land of the free and the home of the so-called brave, are being idiots in this time and not social distancing. I’m so mad at every single friend who posts a large or small gathering to their story, at everyone who is so thirsty for social connection that they’re willing to put everyone they’re in close contact with at risk to hang out with another person for just a few hours (horrifying!). humans are social creatures who need engagement and connection to live — having written 22 pages about health and social relationships across 12 hours a few weeks ago, I understand this point so saliently that it’s painful. but seeing such....levity when my mom is crying over not being able to even go back to China to properly say goodbye because they won’t admit anyone from the US (and the US has banned travel to China, like that was necessary in this xenophobic environment) makes me want to punch a wall. suck it up! call your friends over Zoom or FaceTime like the goddamn rest of us!

grief is so strange, and grief is encapsulated in every molecule of this new normal — the strangeness of missing the life that once was, even if the past wasn’t something that I thought I’d miss. I remember feeling so, so guilty for traveling twice in February because of the studying for comps that I should’ve been doing, and now I marvel at my foresight. (and have so many regrets for the people who I told “I’ll see you in April when I’m back after comps are done!!”

I’m in this weird spot where I feel like I’m screaming at the people around me to care, and all of them are too busy with different social ties, and I’m watching my connections wilt and fray because everyone thinks I’m so stable and put-together (or boring and shy?)

an example: I was left off of a reunion Zoom call with some people I worked with in college that was widely talked about on social media regarding “love having shared all this time with these strong women” and all, and it felt very, idk, selfish and whiny (horrifying) to be like “how can you call this feminism when I, a real woman, am being left out of this call”! the following exchange, about the above, happened with in a group chat with a very blunt friend:

D: “Also, how does it feel to be left out of that [organization] Women zoom call, Amy?” another aside: (this....was a stupid question. but we’ll allow it, because boys will be boys.) me: “lol it honestly hurt my feelings but it's not like they weren't cliquey from the very beginning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to be expected I suppose” D: “Yeah when I saw that I was like “Why didn’t include Amy, she was there at the same time as they were”” me: “LOL thanks for thinking of me 🥺 they clearly did not”

(the other friend staying quiet, because it was tangibly awkward, even if I tried to play it chill, but my feelings remain hurt) perhaps if I cared more, or wanted to try and make people feel bad, I would’ve replied to a story with “tfti”, or laughed, or heart-reacted, or something “casual” that still implicates “where was my invite”, but....is it even worth investing the hurt and care and time when I’m not even sure it would spark embarrassment on their end? because perhaps they intentionally just do not...care about me and my feelings? at all? (horrifying?)

(I already know this to be true, even if the snub was unintentional, but I needed to muse about it anyway)

another aside: I still talk with plenty of people from this organization who I am MUCH closer with, and I shouldn’t feel snubbed to be snubbed by people who I never felt too close with in the first place! (and yet! horrifying!)

sent an extremely passive aggressive message earlier and yet, K tells me that the people in the chat might not even read it as passive aggressive! (horrifying!)

god. I don’t know! I feel so much sadness and anger, and yet still have a few hours of work to do tonight. it’s wild that even today, where my heart just hurts every few seconds if I think too hard, I still have my mind centered in needing to be productive and not lazy because I’ve already spent too much time procrastinating on my work (horrifying!). but the work is about Asian American collective action / media production, and I feel good about it, and I’m working with some badass Asian women, and I really hope it lands in this flagship journal, because that would be a win, and I kind of just need one!

oh if it’s not clear I finished comps and I don’t know if I passed yet but they’re done so...that’s something

also whoever fucking looked at Chicago style citations and thought “oh hmm, let’s make another type of Chicago style that is DIFFERENT and call it Chicago style documentation” is the literal fucking devil

ok this is enough for now bye. god this was long. (horrifying!!!!!!)

#ever spontaneously write 2000+ words

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 years

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, late February 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles I came across since the early February report, although some may be older than that. I am a bit behind due to my trip last week and other events, but some things here are a bit time-sensitive so I wanted to release this now.

I am still looking into setting up a new ecommerce business forum where we can discuss this sort of news, as well as any day-to-day issues we face. I need some good suggestions for a cheap or free forum space that has some editing tools, is fairly intuitive for inexperienced members, and is accessible. If you have any suggestions, please reply to this post, email me on my website, or send me a tweet. (I will put out a survey once we narrow this down to some good candidates, but if you have any other comments on what you want from such a forum, please include those too!)

As always, if you see any stories I might be interested in, please let me know!

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

Since we are seeing more shops closed due to Etsy’s customer service level standards, my blog post on ODR now has major revisions explaining what we have learned, and includes some tips for staying out of trouble and if necessary, appealing a suspension. Please circulate the info widely, as many sellers still haven’t heard about this, and some were closed without having any clue this was possible.

Mobile continues to grow while desktop use is slowly shrinking. It should affect how we design web pages. “Mobile visitors also behave differently from their desktop web counterparts, staying on pages for shorter periods of time, for example.” Other interesting takeaways from this SimilarWeb report: “[Facebook] lost 8.6% of [web] traffic over the past year alone” but increased in app sessions.

The price of domains ending in “.com” will almost certainly be going up soon, and will go up most years after that, unless something changes at the last minute. If you are absolutely certain that you will continue to use the same domain name for your website, blog, ecommerce forwarding etc., then you might consider paying a few years in advance to save a few bucks.

Another article explaining how people are selling thrift store and vintage clothing on Instagram, without setting up a checkout/cart anywhere. (The article focusses on teenagers, but does reference other examples.)

ETSY NEWS

Two weeks ago, Etsy Support posted on Twitter that they were no longer monitoring the account, and asked everyone to use the help page maze instead when they need support. Forum thread here.

Another trend report for 2020 from Dayna Isom Johnson [podcast links & transcript] She leads off with tips on how to get featured: “ so it's incredibly important to see a bright representation that really clearly shows your product...Do be original. I'm always trying to find the latest and the greatest that isn’t already on the shelves...Do be inclusive. ... I'm talking about models of all ethnicities, all genders, all body types, all ages.” Etsy chose chartreuse as their colour of the year: “in the last three months, there's been a 12% increase in searches for green already, and a 55% increase in neon green.” The wedding trends part was mostly already covered in a blog post, but she does also answer a few seller questions.

Website user experience (UX) is a big part of getting people to convert, and an outside group ranks Etsy’s as “acceptable”. Many will be unsurprised that search gets a score of “mediocre” and Accounts & Self-Service get a “poor” grade.

The migration to Google Cloud services is complete, so now Etsy can run more experiments more often, including those involving AI. (Although the forum thread was laughing at the idea of bad reviews helping shops, there is actually some research supporting that, so it is a logical thing to test.)

Etsy sellers in the US, UK & Canada who use Instagram can apply to win a trip to Etsy HQ here, until March 1.

Etsy is launching an Etsy U program which just seems a bit sketchy. Forum thread here.

Reverb (owned by Etsy) named a new Chief Technology Officer on Feb. 18.

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Google does not confirm every large search update, so this one remains a mystery at the moment, since Google refused to give an answer. That means it’s not a core update.

Another video (with subtitles in several languages) from the SEO for Beginners series from Google, on the basics you need for good website SEO.

If you are interested in “searcher intent”, this 500 person survey asks about what people are really looking for, and what they think of the search results the end up with. Overwhelmingly, they say they prefer organic results to ads, and the majority see targeted ads that they can’t figure out the reason/s behind. “Sixty-eight percent responded that Google adding more ads to the search results would make them want to use the search engine less.” Also, a slight majority preferred text results to images, video, & audio. “When asked which factor had the most significant impact on their decision to click a result, 62.9% responded it was the description, followed by 24.2% who said the brand name, and 13% who said title.” That means that the first part of your Etsy listing description, or the coded meta description on a page on your website, has the most influence on people clicking on your link once they see it.

I usually strongly suggest that people setting up their own websites make sure they do some SEO work & keyword research for their category/shop section pages, and it turns out that there is new research showing I am correct. “Specifically, e-commerce category pages – which include parent category, subcategory and product grid pages with faceted navigation – ranked for 19% more keywords on average than product detail pages ranked for. The additional keywords they ranked for drove an estimated 413% more traffic, based on the keywords’ search demand and the pages’ ranking position. With optimization, those ranking category pages also showed the potential to drive 32% more traffic.”

Semi-advanced: explaining the (seemingly endless) debate on whether subdomains or subdirectories are better for SEO.

SEO study - do you really need to use H1 tags on a page? Maybe not, although some screen readers recognize them as the page title so they help with accessibility. (Etsy & many other marketplaces don’t let you make this coding choice, so don’t worry about it there.)

Confused about how to apply all of these SEO tips I post here to your Shopify site? Good news! Here’s a list of what is most important for Shopify SEO. Note the attention to setting up your category pages, which is something I completely agree with. (it’s by Ahrefs so of course it pushes their tools; you don’t need to pay for that.)

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

Some businesses say social media doesn’t work, but maybe they aren’t doing it right. See if you are making one or more of these three mistakes. “Understanding who your target audience is - what they want, what they need, where you fit in, etc. - is critical to maximizing your social media marketing performance.”

Email marketing also works better if you do it right, so here are 5 things you might be doing wrong. And if you like a quick read, here’s an infographic on the psychology of email marketing.

8 ideas for getting more interactions on Facebook (detailed infographic).

More fourth quarter reports continue: Pinterest’s 4th quarter revenue was up 46% but they lost $1.36 billion, and they are introducing a verified merchant program. “Almost all (97%) of the top searches on Pinterest are unbranded, according to the company, giving merchants a chance to stand out.”

Want to tap into that Pinterest traffic? You should because “90% of weekly Pinterest users log in to make buying decisions.” Here are 10 ways to get more attention, followers, and pins.

Like almost all social media, Twitter has an algorithm that mediates what users see (although you can turn it off, or use apps such as Tweetdeck to get around it as a reader). Ranking factors include recency, engagement, media and activity. The article includes a few tips on how to make it work for you, but then slides into promoting its app as the solution - you can just skip that part.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Google search ads get more results than Facebook and Instagram, simply because more people who see them want to buy something. “Less expensive products tend to sell better than more expensive ones on Facebook and Instagram, per the study.”

If you are running ads where you can choose your keywords, don’t forget to examine your organic search results and impressions for new words to advertise. Google Search Console is a great source.

If you found Instagram ads too expensive, check out this post on how the ads are priced, which can help you make decisions on your spend.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Amazon has nearly 40% of the US ecommerce market, according to a report by eMarketer. Etsy is not in the top 10; eBay is 3rd behind Walmart.

Sales on Shopify sites during the Black Friday-Cyber Monday long weekend went up 61% to $3 billion in 2019. They claim that the “direct -to-consumer” approach can be successful for both big & small brands.

Japanese authorities are going after Rakuten for the ecommerce company’s push to make its sellers offer free shipping.

eCommerceBytes’ annual Sellers Choice survey placed eBay first out of the online marketplaces that were rate. Note that this is not a scientific survey and largely covers the site’s readership only. Bonanza was the most improved & Etsy showed the worst drop (from 1st to 5th place).

A review of that article last month that says ecommerce sites should have info pages as well as product pages, if only for SEO reasons. The author approves.

The CBC show Marketplace did a large test buying branded items on AliExpress, Amazon, eBay, Walmart and Wish. It turns out that most were fake.

Facebook’s cryptocurrency plans (Libra) finally have a partner: Shopify. The potential benefits include no credit card processing fees.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

Younger people (think Gen Z) expect to see gender treated expansively and beyond traditional stereotypes, and they expect this from companies and advertising. “Half of women and four in 10 men in the U.S. now believe that there is a spectrum of gender identities, according to a recent Ipsos poll titled "The Future of Gender is Increasingly Nonbinary." An additional 16% of those surveyed said they know a person who identifies as transgender”

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour)

Google employees are pushing back against the sea change in the company’s culture and values - and some are being fired.

Turns out that the “Peleton Wife” ad might not have hurt them as much as you might think. However, their stock dropped 12% after the fourth quarter report showed a 77% increase in revenue that still managed to be below market predictions. Interesting discussion around going viral in a negative fashion.

#Cindylouwho2newsupdates #seo #search engine optimization #search engine marketing #Etsynews #etsy #social media #Contentmarketing #Content marketing #ecommerce #Smallbiz #Seotips #Customer service #Ppc advertising #onlinemarketing #ecommercetips #EmailMarketing #socialmedianews

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mysticsparklewings · 4 years

Photo

Chibi Card Commissions!

If you'd like to order a commission from me, please contact me through Notes on dA, through the Contact Page on my website, or through one of my social medias linked at the bottom of the description so we can discuss details & pricing directly! Please include your name and a brief description of what you have in mind.

• Commission Options, Prices Listed, and Terms of Service are subject to change at my (MysticSparkleWings) discretion.

• I reserve the right to decline ANY work that I do not personally feel comfortable with for ANY reason.

• I prefer to take full payment for these commissions upfront

• I accept payment as Donations on my Ko-fi Page, through PayPal or DeviantArt's Cryptocurrency (Points)

• Finished piece .PNG or .JPEG files will be sent directly to the commissioner upon completion and once payment has been made in full.

• If for any reason you are not satisfied with your commission upon completion, contact me.

Please see this document.

____

In light of my recent tablet fiasco, of which you can read the short version here or the long version here, I've opted to add a new type of commission to my repertoire. And if you follow me on Twitter, you may already be pretty familiar with what these are.

I made the cards you see for examples last year, a little while after the #ArtShare threads became a new norm of the art community on Twitter. Since from what I hear, the algorithm currently favors comments over there and as the introvert I am, I have a very hard time thinking of something unique to say about all the amazing art over there.

And I've never known of a creative way to say Thank You/You're Welcome, online or off, that I feel really really comfortable with.

After a little while, it occurred to me that a cute, personal way to say all these things and not immensely stress myself every time could be just as simple as have some little cards made up for each occasion. So that's what I did!

Really, I cannot overstate how useful these little things have been over the last few months. Plus they just make for cute art on their own, too.

And people seem to like them, so I figured maybe opening commissions for these specifically would be a good idea, at least to try.

Just like with my Commission Sheet! I used the same style as my Meet the Artist piece, so everything's cohesive.

The file for this thing is HUGE so even though things seem small zoomed out, you should be to zoom in and see everything nice and clear to get a better look over on deviantArt: http://fav.me/ddoncrt

That said, if you’re interested in commissioning me or know somehow who might be, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me either via Notes here on dA or through my website and/or social media (linked below)!

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mystic-quest · 5 years

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For all those who wander and are still lost:

For all those who wander and are still lost, trust me, you’re not the only ones. I mean look at me... writing to you all trying to come up with some deep-rooted issue like one of “those”, trying to look like I’m some kind of Plato or Socrates, trying to uncover an unfathomed deep-rooted issue. I mean there’s also the fact that you might just be lost and that’s totally okay. I can sit here and sell you on some bullshit like take some yoga or meditate maybe listen to some Gary Vee or Tony Robbins and take life by the balls and say “fuck it” I mean that might work for some of you and if that’s the case kudos to you.

I’m talking about the ones whom are unhappy, lost and the ones whom have lost their passion for what they used to once love doing. “Hi, hello, how are ya? (Jeffree Star I love you) Coming at you live from the mind of a 25-year-old who thought she had it all together. Thinking that she could win one over on life. Or breaking the algorithm of Instagram and TikTok becoming semi famous with one liners or model-esque photos.

Can I be honest with you? NO ONE and I really mean NO ONE has their life together. If you’re looking at Facebook photos or Instagram pictures of your friends, acquaintances, content creators, photographers or models or anyone else you’ve come across anywhere and everywhere... I can almost GUARANTEE you that they were once in your same position. I mean let me be honest, the “grass isn’t always greener on the other side” and I can guarantee it.

Trust me I’ve been in your position, scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, wondering why this ones in Bora Bora or that one just graduated, this one’s constantly out on the town, as I sit here, a college dropout with very little patience, a mickey mouse job and very little will to push myself to do anything at this point. THE INTERNET IS SATAN, trust me.

If that’s how you really feel, then you’ve all come to right place. I mean, college? What a waste of time & well-earned money (in my opinion). The fact that you manage to graduate to become something and then come out into the real world trying to procure a job and getting no where because they want 30 years’ experience. Damn, maybe I should have studied a little more in the womb.

For those who came out of college and graduated and secured a job right after, I commend you. For those of us who are still out there trying to figure out what we want in life I’m right there with you. Let’s start off with this, if you’re constantly trying to compare yourself to the people on your social media you should delete it, or better yet, block them or just block their posts. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Everyone is on a different path and hey, I’m still on it as well.

Stop trying and start “living” whatever that means to you. Learn to cope with who you are and then maybe you’ll figure out what you want right? I never thought I’d end up in this position or at this time of my life. I look at my parents who were married at 22 had my brother and I and ate shit and got to where they are now. I shouldn’t complain, but I constantly try to compare myself to them and to everyone around me. Thinking why this is not happening for me and what’s wrong with me?

The fact that I’m sitting in my parent’s kitchen, in NYC a single 25 year old with very little aspirations, but big dreams to travel the world with the very little money I have, but keep spending. The fact that I’m 25 and have only had 4 dates in my whole life and seeing on social media your classmates getting married, engaged, buying a house, babies and traveling… Like I said INTERNET = SATAN. We’re all in a constant state of comparing. We’re also in a generation where men & woman barely want relationships or search for love or that we don’t know what we want. All I know is, I want to know the direction I’m going in.

Alright enough about me and on to the real reason I’m writing this…. I’m here to tell you all that you’re not alone. I’m still on this crazy journey and taking it day by day, trying to figure out what I really want, why am I in this place and who am I going to end up with? And where and when is this going to happen. See what I did there? Thanks to my English teachers for teaching me the 5 W’s in my life.

BUT and I know you’re not supposed to start off a sentence with but, but here I am. We really only use one W.. Why, why not this, why not that, why not me? It’s not why guys, it’s how! How can I better myself and bring myself to where I want to be in life? Yeah, I get it, It’s FUCKING difficult. WHY do I hate my job, why didn’t I stick to school, why BLAH BLAH BLAH. Why and how go hand in hand with one another, kind of like peanut butter and jelly, but I’m not a fan of PB&J so….

As you can tell from all this, my mind is all over the place, I’m all over the place, but I’m very well organized, thanks mom. How about we, yes I mean WE try to work through this. Try to figure out what it is that we really want and if that means taking a break from the internet -GASP- yes I really mean. Enough of me joking around about how it is SATAN… Statistics show and yeah, I’m pulling in the statistics card, that the internet = depression.

You heard it here first folks, the internet although very insightful is lethal. I can sit here till I’m blue in the face and tell you to stop comparing, but I know neither you nor I can stop it. I forgot where I was going with this whole thing, but I just want you all to know that you’re not alone and I’m here along for the ride as well. I don’t know where the hell it’s going to take me or us, but I hope it’s great and I hope I’m happy with the outcome.

- Maria

#foodforthought #blogpost #me #idk #lost #self

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checanty · 5 years

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so two questions (love your work for the record. you've become one of my primary inspirations over the years! thank you for exposing us to your talent :D ) with the issues surrounding social media at the moment - cancel culture, censorship, algorithm issues etc. How do you feel this is currently affecting current and upcoming talent? Do you think it will get better or worse and why? for my second question - how can one have a relatively humble career in freelance without the social media fame?

Thank youuu!!

Okay, okay, question one: First up regarding the censorship I can’t really say very much since I’m not doing any photography with nudity or any pornographic artwork. I know non sexual artistic nudety does sometimes get flagged, but usually those decisions get gevised if you ask. It’s annoying, but nothing career deciding. I also started sharing my artwork on a website where pornographic (and gore) content was always inaccessible to minors, so this whole thing doesn’t seem particularly outlandish to me. You’ll find your audience, but have to sell ‘under the counter’, you know? Cancel culture on the other hand … it doesn’t really affect me because I’m not usually spreading my opinions far and wide on the internet and my artwork isn’t exactly divisive. Now back in my youth on Animexx (that German website with the adult filter. Where every artwork you uploaded had to be approved by a human being by the way.) I did write and post some questionable things. Hell, I did a whole comic based on a super cringeworthy premise which was rather ableist and contained at least one rape joke. There’s a reason you won’t find it on the internet anymore. I didn’t see it as problematic when I was 15, despite people gently trying to explain to me why it was (In hindsight I understand and am grateful for those folks. But they were patient. they were adults talking to a child. You know.) There’s a lot of stuff I thought was cool and edgy at 15 or even 18 that would make me take a serious double take nowadays. I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’d like to think I’m still growing and I’m very aware that a lot of what I think now might have to be seriously re-evaluated a few years from now. Heck, sometimes I catch myself saying stuff and realize it’s messed up a second later.So I’m a bit afraid for young artists out there getting torn apart over stupid (and also harmful) things they say and create. Or artists getting torn apart other stuff they said or created years ago. Like, call them out, yes. but. People can grow. Especially teenagers are not exactly the product of an environment of their choice. It took some depression and alienation (it was horrible, but also, ah, character building?) from my friends to realize some of their jokes were not actually funny and being a sadist is not a cool thing to call yourself. Like the human brain isn’t done rewiring until your mid to late twenties. Let people evolve. On the other people growing up more involved in social media and ‘cancel culture’ might be used to being smarter about what they say and maybe also a tiny bit less ignorent because they have reason and all the options to educate themselves? There are a lot of pretty amazing teens around. Maybe I was just super slow. (Sometimes I try to imagine being on Tumblr earlier in life and it’s usually a mix of ‘I would have been a better person and all those mental health resources would have helped me so much’ and ‘Nah, I was a brat and would have been eaten alive.’ It’s kind of like people are complicated.)Algorithm issues are horrible, they’re even making a difference for established artists who rely on social media to sell their stuff. BUT. If people do great work and share it, it usually still ends up getting seen.Also, it’s all already different from when I started out. If I was 18 years old today I might look at this ancient 25 year old lady and tell her to stop whining because she can’t deal with all that modern stuff. I don’t want to underestimate the young folks. They’re often underestimated. (Yes, I think teenage me was often horrible and stupid and arrogant, but in other matters pretty smart and actually funny and capable. It’s like you can be a lot of things. Like I’m still all those things and others.)I have no idea what is going to happen. I guess it can always get worse. But if it does get worse we don’t really need to bother with the social media for promotion any more and can go back to blogging on our websites again.It’s doubtful Zuckerberg is going to make Facebook or Instagram ‘better’ again. If anything there’s probably be something new. I mean Patreon and Twitch are already kind of new developments and they work great for some folks! That’s lot of income they wouldn’t have had otherwise! There’s always some good, some bad happening. You get what you get and then figure out to make it work for yourself :/I’m going to let this stand as an answer to your first question because I can already feel myself contemplating in the back of my mind if I actually agree with myself on everything said so far. It seemed right at the time! I’m not doing this ‘opinions on the internet’ game very much for a reason :DQuestion number 2: THIS IS EASY!First up, you can have a great career in freelance without social media fame. Not speaking from experience, but it’s possible. (’fame’ I consider something like 100k plus Instagram/FB or anything followers)Social media fame is important in two cases: When you make most of your money selling small products (say prints, books, but also membership stuff like Patreon) and need to reach a huge audience to sell enough to live on. (because maybe 5% of your audience actually buys things.) And when you actually want to make money being an influencer. There are times where clients hire you as an illustrator AND some sort of influencer because they want to make use of your fan base, but that’s like back in the old days when a famous artist gets hires because they’re already well known to the fans/bring their own fans to the product. That would be a nice position to be in, but it’s not exactly standard procedure.When you’re a freelance illustrator you’re not selling small things to a huge audience. You want a few hopefully high paying jobs. Most clients hire you because you’re good and reliable and fit their budget. They need the art. Not your fans. They don’t care about your fans.And you know, most social media followers will not want or be able to hire you for a 300,00-10.000,00 USD (or more. I guess if you go into advertising you can get more.) job. You need to be more selective. Do the networking thing. Be seen by the right people. How? Well, do your research! Look at who might need your work and send them nice e-mails, postcards, whatever. Have a nice portfolio website. If they’re part of a community, become part of that. Now, social media are still useful for let’s say art directors to find you. But having a small artists all working in the same genre as you do the chances that if they share your work an AD also working in the same genre might be following *them* and see your artwork like this is much higher than if folks not in the ‘business’ share your work even if there is a higher number of them. It’s quality vs quantity thing. One reason I like Twitter is because a lot of writers hang out there. Writers might not be responsible for chosing cover artists (most of the time), but self publishers are. And do like doing cover artworks for self publishers. And writers are friends with other writers and other artists and editors and publishing people and so on and so on. So no, no social media fame needed to succeed, BUT try to be known in the right circles. And be nice and reliable so people hire you again and tell their friends. It happens. Also, yes I’m definitely procrastinating right now. I should be working on the table of contents for my mermaid book.

#ask

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myquirkylife · 6 years

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The black and white of dieting is fairly simple: eat less, move more, calories in, calories out. Be consistent and watch yourself transform. Right? Well, generally speaking, yes. But unfortunately, not always. Just like life, dieting is not always so black and white.

Perhaps you know someone that despite training hard, eating at a deficit with properly balanced macronutrients/micronutrients and recovering appropriately, they just can’t seem to lose weight? More often than not, factors at fault include:

“Ghost Bites” – aka those bites of your coworkers dessert, those mindless bites while you prepared your meal, those random bites of various snacks at work, those unmeasured spoonfuls of peanut butter, always eating out and guesstimating, etc. They all add up!

Not Actually in a Deficit – They may not be burning as much as they think they are in their training, therefore, not being in a true caloric deficit (more on this later). Or, eating more than they think they are in comparison to their output. Yes, it is true, sometimes in dieting, to get to a specific goal, you have to be in a lower deficit than you think you need to be in. Harsh truth.

Other than the above factors, there are some that fall in the grey area of dieting. Perhaps you’ve heard folks say, “I can’t lose weight because I have a slow metabolism”? Hell, I’VE said that (thanks, thyroid)! People can have slow metabolisms (soooo many factors that contribute to this), but the most important tidbit of information to take away from this post is: a slow metabolism is NOT a life sentence that you are doomed with forever (or to use as an excuse). There ARE ways to remedy this.

But it takes work. By tracking your intake, you are in control of the calories-in – which is extremely important if you have specific goals. Controlling the calories-out, aside from exercise, is more so dependent on your biology, which is where things can get tricky. The human body is extremely complex, and it is your metabolism (a mega machine of organ function, hormones, energy, etc) that dictates the amount of energy your body outputs in a day.

The thing with the human body is that it is extremely durable and will adapt to extreme circumstances when necessary. Some bodies do this quicker than others (hi). So if you’ve been eating really low calories for a long time, even when combined with hard, diligent training, and you’re still not losing weight, chances are that your metabolism adapted to its current state. No, this is NOT starvation mode. Most people, thankfully, won’t ever experience true starvation. What this means is, your body adapted to its current intake as its “maintenance,” so even though you’re technically not eating much, your body doesn’t think it’s in a caloric deficit, it thinks it is maintaining.

So, how can this be fixed? Reverse dieting! Or, simply getting back to (or figuring out) your true maintenance numbers (macros to eat to maintain weight). This is done so that your body can slowly adapt to eating at higher calories, with minimal weight gain while also increasing your metabolic capacity.

Some argue that there is no need to to do this slowly and you can simply go back to eating at maintenance in a 2-3 week window after a cutting phase (Lyle McDonald, PhD), while others argue that this should be done slowly in a 10 week (or more) window to minimize fat gain and give your metabolism time to adjust (Alan Aragon, Avatar Nutrition, in3 Nutrition, Layne Norton, PhD, Sohee Lee). In my humble opinion, if you’ve been cutting for a long time, slowly increasing your food intake can also help you mentally. Big increases in food in a small time frame can easily lead to binging.

So…all this may sound familiar coming from me, right? Well, that is because I have covered this topic before in The Dark Side of Reverse Dieting. Read that post where I go over my personal experience with reverse dieting (at that point) and the parts of reverse dieting that people don’t like to talk about. Folks love to focus on the group of folks that respond extremely well to reverse dieting such as weight loss and can get their macros upwards of 400g of carbs without gaining but that is not as common as you think.

Okay, so now you’re probably asking, “Well Jo, why are you bringing up reverse dieting yet again?” Sigh.

HERE’S THE DEAL

To put it into perspective, I wrote that post in July 2017 and it is now toward end of April 2018. I was in the middle of a reverse diet that I had began in March 2017. Which, five months in was a record for me! As mentioned in that post, I was notorious for starting a reverse, and at any sign of gain, I’d jump back into a cut. And very recently, I was reverse dieting…again. WHAT?!

So, what had happened was…we had a trip to Costa Rica planned for November 2017 and I did not want to go looking/feeling fluffy (can you blame me?). I was advised against going into a cut just yet, that I should give my reverse more time, then go into maintenance for a bit, and THEN cut. Well, vanity and impatience got the best of me and I compromised on doing a “mini cut” right before the trip. I was warned that cutting a reverse short and diving straight into a cut is not a great idea, but that if I’m to do it, that I should stick to the reverse up until October 2017, then for the month of October, do a somewhat aggressive cut (shock the body in a sense), then get back to a reverse when I return. Well, things did NOT go as planned whatsoever because my body is a difficult bitch (hence why I am writing this long ass post about metabolic adaptation).

Basically, the aggressive mini cut did NOTHING for me. I went from eating about 2200 cals to pretty much 1500 cals (without change in training volume) in a span of about three weeks with no change on the scale or body. The frustrating parts were:

Reverse diet that I spent 6 months on, turned out to be a waste because I was back to eating what I was eating pre reverse diet (perhaps even less) AND at a higher weight than when I began reverse because I’m one of the lucky ones that has some fat gain during a reverse (Note: sarcasm – there should be a sarcasm font)

I was compliant 95% of the time during the reverse and 99% compliant during the cut, so it’s not like I was going YOLO style and overeating

I was diligently training hard in weightlifting throughout

What was done, was done. There I was, right before Costa Rica vacation feeling like…

But I got to thinking…I should NOT be stressing about this during my vacation. I had never been to Costa Rica, it was my first international trip with Migs, and I had spent months planning it. I was determined to turn my shit around and have an amazing time. I planned to mindfully eat but not track my food.

This is just a glimpse at the adventures we had on our 10-day trip living that pura vida:

The trip was phenomenal. We laughed, we ate, we drank, we swam, we did adventure. I couldn’t have asked for a better trip. It took a lot of willpower to not think about what I looked like in this bikini or in those shorts or that dress, but I did it well enough and remained in the moment. Pura vida.

Back to Reality

In my last blog post, I went over exactly what took place upon our return from Costa Rica. Rest in forever peace, my sweet Abuelita.

In that last post, I definitely focused on my training and those lifetime PRs that did make me ever so happy! There’s one major plus from truly fueling my body – getting stronger!

What I didn’t focus on in that post was nutrition and my body, well, because I knew it would take some explaining and it needed its own post to do so.

Anyway, so upon getting back, feeling as discouraged as ever (on top of the emotional roller coaster I was on), I basically just went back to the calories I left off of on my cut and mindlessly stayed there for some weeks until January came around and I stumbled on AHub Nutrition‘s Ashleigh Hubbard on Instagram…and was intrigued. I lurked on her for a while on Instagram from afar. I’d click through and see what her clients were sharing, what she shared, her methods – basically, went down a rabbit hole.

Although I felt Avatar did serve me well, my body just does not always respond as typically as most bodies do and feel it requires more patience than the algorithm allows. It responded well to the reverse overall, but the cut method, not so much, which I know is partially my fault for going from reverse to a cut so quickly. For someone who has a fairly responsive body, I feel Avatar is a great, affordable alternative. But ultimately, it does only base your weekly macro tweaks on your weigh ins (weight + body fat measurement + compliance, and for women, menstruation) without any other factors considered. I figured the time may have come for me to take on a coach again. Someone that can take into consideration not only the weight on the scale but also take into account other measurements such as how I’m feeling, whether I dropped the kids off at the pool, my stress levels, my energy, how I’m recovering, my training changes, etc. I KNOW I could do this for myself but let’s be honest, we’re not always as real with ourselves as we are with others.

What sold me on Ashleigh – because it IS a hefty price tag to take her on, I’ll be honest – is how responsive she was before I even hired her. We DM’ed for about a couple hours the night I finally reached out to her. I asked any and all questions and concerns that I had. I explained my situation, warned her my body is notoriously difficult and I let her know I did not want to go through what I went through before with a previous coach (scroll down). Responsiveness is key with me. Most importantly, don’t brush off my concerns when I have them. She reassured me of all my concerns without giving me blanket responses and added a bonus: her clients have her cell number and can text her with any questions or to just chat.

Time to get to business. Time to make a plan. And she told me what I knew was coming (but was somehow hoping not to come to this). The only way to really get me out of the hole of eating such low calories and not seeing any results was to reverse diet me…AGAIN. Ugh. I expressed my feelings about doing a reverse AGAIN, potentially gaining weight AGAIN, spending months on a reverse AGAIN when I had just spent 6 months on one. I said and asked all these questions, knowing the sad, sad answer already before she even said it. I don’t have much a choice if I want to get my body and metabolism in order. It’s either, remain eating very low calories and lowering them even more with the possibility of still not seeing any change (and have my performance suffer) or reverse diet, but this time go into a maintenance phase, and then cut. And of course, taking into consideration more than just weight on scale the whole time (biofeedback) and adjust accordingly.

Ugh, fine. So here I am. I started the reverse with Ashleigh in January and my reverse just ended a couple weeks ago. From when we started I gained about 3-4lbs – which to some, may seem like nothing. But if you think about the overly aggressive reverse (aka bulkI didn’t ask for) I was put on post op by my previous coach where I gained nearly 10lbs, then the reverse I was very recently on where I had also gained about 3-5lbs (with Avatar) – it sure adds up and IS a lot. I am now on maintenance for the month of April with a week diet (mental) break at the end of the month where I won’t track macros which is also when I’ll be out of town for work. And then, when I’m back in town…

Time to cut! I am hopeful that it will go well this time under the watchful eye of an attentive coach. Another thing I already knew before Ashleigh mentioned it, was that it is very likely that I will ultimately have to go very low in calories due to how my body has responded historically. But luckily, she said she won’t keep me so low for too long and, I don’t have trouble eating low calories when I have to. I more so get frustrated eating low calories and seeing no changes.

HAVE YOU STRUGGLED?

I’m curious to know my readers better. Aside from the common issues listed in this post, have you also struggled with any body goals? Do you feel your body is difficult to change? Did you end up finding what tweaks work for you?

xx,

The Joys of Metabolic Adaptation #flexibledieting #nutrition #health #wellness #metabolism The black and white of dieting is fairly simple: eat less, move more, calories in, calories out.

#Flexible Dieting #health and fitness #iifym #metabolism #Nutrition #wellness

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bethmunroemusic-blog · 6 years

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10 Things I wish I knew before I joined a band

If you are a musician just starting out, then this article will save you time and money.

1. Sort out your PRS account right now PRS (Performance Rights Society) pay musicians whenever their original songs are played in public. This means you can get paid for playing your own songs at gig. Lets say you play an average small show every couple of weeks, you're talking royalties of around £200 per year, and the payout increases as you get bigger gigs and play to more people. I remember back when I was unsure, was unfamiliar with how the whole thing worked - so I left it. Looking back now if I had signed up to PRS at the beginning, I'd have an extra £500 right now. You can't afford not to do this >>> www.prsformusic.com.

2. Be a hard-ass Keeping a band going takes a huge amount of work. Do not let any of your band mates hold you down with laziness, negativity, apathy or bad attitude. You deserve musicians who are dedicated, hard working, professional, level headed, respectful and kind. This is your future, don't let anyone else take it away from you. When I look back on my musical career, I see someone who stayed quiet and kept the peace with the wrong people, and repeatedly walked away with nothing but time wasted. It is one of the saddest feelings in the world to know that I let my entire career slide, simply out of fear of being called a bossy bitch. And I really, really, don't want it to happen to you too.

3. Practice, practice, practice My guitar tutor said: "A good musician practices until they get it right, a great musician practices until they cannot get it wrong." Mistakes happen live, it's actually not a problem with the right attitude - but walking onstage underprepared and terrified is bound to affect everything about your performance. Practice your parts 100x until they're completely muscle memory and watch how much it transforms your performance. Everything will improve, both from the audience's perspective and yours. You may be nervous, but be over-prepared, and everything will fall into place.

4. Network It will always be the people around you that end up opening doors for you. Don't be afraid to send out lots of messages and emails, and make sure they’re clear, concise and professional. Your first message is often ignored, a good rule is to message 3 times, the 3rd say it’s your last message, and thanks for their time anyway. This approach is actually quite successful in finally getting a reply. Gigs will always be the best way to network. The gigs I landed at first were because I went to gigs, and physically introduced myself to the promoter. Be polite, smile, take a moment to describe your band and hand them a CD/card/bit of paper with your details, then message them a bit later reminding them who you are. This is the most effective way to get a gig. Other musicians can get you gigs as well, so it’s always worth introducing yourself to them. Just take a moment to say hi, compliment them and take a couple of minutes to let them know you exist, are a musician and nice human being. Lastly, the audience, if you're super friendly and seen at gigs, people will have a good impression of you before you've stepped onstage. Seriously, go to gigs, it's the best thing you can do to help your career.

5. Do social media properly Promoters, managers and radio pluggers pay attention to how you handle your social media. Building an online fan base takes so much patience and work to expand into what you want. Facebook is terrible for self-promotion, and is not the main site you should concentrate on. Instagram is probably the best right now, (although there’s rumours about them restricting reach like Facebook, so be wary.) Spend time on each platform, learn the algorithms, patterns and behaviours of each site, keep engaging with others as much as possible so that you're bringing people in and not just hurling posts out into the abyss every now and then. Create content with personality, pictures work better than words, and videos work best of all, so let people see you, even just you chatting or a bedroom video of a new song. Let people into your life and make them feel like they know you. An important point: Set up social media for yourself as a musician, as well as for your band. The 2 pages can reference each other and bounce off one another, and if the band splits up, you're not suddenly starting from square one, which - trust me - is a massive pain.

6. Surround yourself with good people You deserve to be surrounded by people who are committed, respectful, and want the best for you. I’ve been in bands with some awful negative people, and I’ve been in bands with outright bullies that completely pulled my confidence apart. It happens often, and sometimes when you’re in the middle of it you don’t realise what’s happening. You will meet assholes everywhere on your journey, but the good thing is as time goes on you will be better equipped to recognise them. ***Never stick to someone awful out of desperation, you are better off on your own than with someone who isn’t a good person.***

7. Play simple stuff well When I began playing guitar, I refused to let anyone hear me because I thought I was shit (I mean, I was shit, but that's beside the point.) I spent so much time doing exercises that I hated, so that I could 'shred'. I didn't even like it, I just felt like I was supposed to. I neglected the important things: being a solid, well-rounded player, building a unique style, knowing my stuff, and playing confidently. I sucked all the fun out of music for myself, simply out of insecurity and a need to be validated. When I went to study music I had to relearn playing simple stuff well. Learn great songs, not just difficult songs, find a balance of learning things you love and also learning the things you need to know to be a good musician - and practice it all to a metronome. Know your basic rudiments/chords/scales when asked, play in time and play with ease, this is what other musicians are looking for. It doesn't matter if what you play is simple, what matters is that you play it well.

8. Budget, schedule, research and plan I know right? I'm sorry to be the one to say this to you. It's going to be a lot easier to reach your goals and do what you dream of doing if you set up a business plan, take small, logical steps, and always know what you’re doing, and why. You are much more likely to get something done if you break it down into small, manageable chunks, figure out how each chunk is going to get done, and set deadlines. To try and keep a band afloat takes serious planning and organisational skills, practice budgeting and time management now, so that when you suddenly need to organise a tour or a new release, you aren't completely overwhelmed.

9. Ask for help People absolutely freaking loooove it when you ask for their advice. Never be afraid of bugging strangers for advice or small favours, as long as you are polite, flattering and succinct. Tell them you are unsure and would love their personal professional advice, not a problem if they are busy, thanks either way etc. If you’re struggling to get gigs or get noticed ask a more established band how they did it, or ask someone in the industry what they’re looking for, and if there's an area you could improve. All they can do is ignore your request, now is not the time to be embarrassed or proud. The same goes with loans or favours. Put yourself across as someone who's trying really hard to do something amazing, and people will want to help you. Be excited about this adventure, so that people want to join in. If you are nice and non-pushy they can only say no. If you are asking for anything from anyone, remember to keep it really, really, really positive, never winge or make excuses, you are there to sell this idea, this excitement of the fact that you are going to work hard, play great songs and change the world. Stay humble and remember you could always do with advice and help from people no matter who you are.

10. Be ok with failure You alone determine your future, even if your current band and the next 10 bands you join all fail. If you are going out there and making mistakes, and struggling through problems, and losing people you thought would help you, and falling on your ass, and starting over again - this is what you are meant to be doing. Breathe, you're doing just fine. This is the amazing journey that’s been put out in front of you to mould you into a greater musician, a savvier entrepreneur, and a better and stronger person. This is your chance to prove to yourself how much you really want this. I’ve seen so many amazing bands that gave up, just because they had a couple of setbacks or someone left the band, or it was too hard for them. This is the most common thing that will pull your competition down, and the longer you hold on without giving up, the more your competition will begin to fall away while you're still learning and becoming better than ever. If you don’t give up then you have a greater chance than anybody else around you. This could be the one thing that means you make it when other people don't. Hold on. Beth Munroe is an Indietronica artist signed to WMTH Records. She is a guitarist, singer and songwriter, and has been a gigging musician for 10 years. She studied Guitar and Songwriting at the Brighton Institute of Modern Music, and has since been touring new material. For more see her social media: BethMunroeMusic.co.uk Facebook.com/BethMunroeMusic Instagram.com/BethMunroeMusic

#music #musician #band #newband #artist #Guitarist #Singer #songwriter #producer #advice #guitar #vocal #livemusic #live #musicblog #femalemusician #femaleartist

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