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#that shit is so weird like yes let me prove my heterosexuality by fucking. killing things and being happy about it
jean----ralphio · 3 years
Text
IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME
Episode 1 is under the cut!
Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...
Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch
Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!
00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis
00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s
00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?
00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3
01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.
01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3
01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.
02:01 DICK <3
02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3
02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME
02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too
02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3
03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?
03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this
04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused
04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.
04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is
04:39 Lip <3
04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here
04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch
04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser
04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?
05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3
05:39 Aw. They’re so sad
05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine
06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!
06:18 God Damien is pretty
06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt
06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!
07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT
07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.
07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick
08:18 ‘Murica time
08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol
08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable
09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross
09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck
09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby
09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!
09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho
10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit
10:43 Wow Lip is ripped
10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3
11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.
11:11 RICH
11:18 Lieb omg lol
11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU
11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO
12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin
12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK
12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it
13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh
13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.
13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.
13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.
14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby
14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.
14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order
14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?
14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh
15:11 Piss off omg
15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me
16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH
17:21 Shifty my angel son
17:46 so sweet
18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop
18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe
18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly
18:44 Simon Pegg??!!
18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo
19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.
19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.
19:17 SHUT UP ROSS
19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.
20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!
21:02 ROE <3
21:31 Hoobler, aw <3
21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys
21:54 Ah boys, oh no
22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby
22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously
22:24 Oh Luz <3
22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch
23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot
23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.
24:19 Suck it, Ross
24:30 Real footage?
24:41 Lol you suck Ross
25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.
25:26 Bill omg
25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby
25:56 Ah Luz
26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me
26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner
27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault
27:46 Dick’s come to save the day
27:56 Ross knows nothing omg
28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb
28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight
28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you
28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho
28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately
30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won
30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH
30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty
30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb
30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t
31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair
31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems
31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong
32:00 He’s not joking, Dick
32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please
32:11 Lol Nix
33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.
33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.
33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.
33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.
34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please
34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?
35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.
35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3
35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!
36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.
36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20
36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb
36:51 Guys, look, cows
37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.
37:22 RICH
37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop
37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH
37:42 Poor Tip is so done
37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused
38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face
38:10 Iconic
38:15 Keep it together Tip
38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*
39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich
39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes
39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood
39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.
39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.
40:25 Be free, moo-cows
40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED
41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.
41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.
41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.
41:39 Worried husband
41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic
42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.
42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.
42:57 Punk bitch Ross.
43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.
43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.
43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!
43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.
44:02 Hey Lip <3
44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE
44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.
44:57 This whole scene is BDE.
46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest
46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.
46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now
47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??
48:09 Weak
48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica
48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.
49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH
50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?
50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.
50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.
51:00 RICH I SAW YOU
52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.
52:36 DAFUQ
52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.
53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.
53:48 Unf.
54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!
54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.
55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.
55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.
56:15 Oh no
57:00 Luz LMAO
57:10 Oh babies
57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup
57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.
57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.
57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.
58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3
59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again
59:49 RICH I SEE YOU
1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T
1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill
1:01:09 Naww
1:01:16 RIIIIICH
1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol
1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.
1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand
1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP
1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane
1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp
1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?
1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.
1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao
1:06:16 God, Dick be careful
1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.
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phoebehalliwell · 3 years
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Ok so like I know it won’t happen but how would Sheridan and Warren feel about meeting their younger twin cousins Tam & Kat? Because then they wouldn’t be the only twin in the family plus the chaos of having mutiole sets of twins in one place would be amazingly hilarious! Like everyone is like Tam/Kat/Sheridan/Warren NOOO and they’re like >:3c ✨
[who tf are these kids so glad you asked warren & sheridan and tam & kat]
i feel like that would be a really wild ride bc i feel like as sets of twitches one would think they are very similar but they are indeed actually like. very different. i mean a there’s this age delta of like 7 years so that’s one thing so you’d have two grown as dudes and two teenagers but then there’s also differences like. tam and kat each have their own unique set of powers while warren and sheridan have identical powers. tam and kat were raised within magic by a charmed one in a happy could with a younger brother and a boatload of cousins they’re insanely close to warren and sheridan were raised by jack. tam and kat know how to preserve sea slugs warren and sheridan don’t even know why you would need to know this. and, of course, the major difference between the two is tamora and kat have a psychic link and warren and sheridan definitely do not nor do they want one. like for starters if they had the ability to be in each others head the odds of them just using that skill to annoy the other is like through the roof but also it’s like. tamora and kat’s subconsciousness are linked like their dreams border each other and like overlap and i think warren and sheridan would genuinely rather be lobotomized than let the other take a stroll around their dreams. but i mean like beyond that just like their dynamics with the other are insanely different like kat literally ran off to italy and tamora stayed behind in sf and they’re just like. fine with that. whereas warren and sheridan have never ever actually like. lived apart. and in the back of their minds they know at some point that’s gonna happen but like hey man that’s my twin brother i know him i know he’s a fucking idiot and i don’t trust him not to get himself killed. like both tam and kat have done solo vanquishes where they didn’t even like mention anything to their twin bc like. they were busy doing this vanquish. warren and sheridan are a lot more attached at the hip when it comes to magic i mean they also have a lot less experience but like if kat every mentioned casually that she’s currently living on the other side of the globe from her twin w&s would short circuit (and if that didn’t do the trick tam and kat being like yeah i mean it’s never like we’re cut off from each other bc u know like the psychic link would Definitely send warren and sheridan over the edge).
that being said similarities i mean for starters both are twin sets where they’re identical but one twin has short hair and the other long so if they ever met i feel like someone has to comment on that bc like. hey does the author have some weird need to visually distinguish identical twins in an easy-to-read way? yes. also it’s a spilt where one twin’s gay and the other’s straight (kat being a lesbian, warren being bisexual, and tamora and sheridan both being like the lone heterosexuals out of everyone they know) but like. beyond that i think both twins definitely have this stubbornness and like. a tendency not to involve parental figures in their work bc they want to prove that they can do it on their own. there’s also like. a sense of impulsivity to them all in varying degrees ranking sheridan kat warren tam but like. in a wstk team up a battle plan probably will not be drawn they’ll say the vibes of the situation and then like. go time.
if i were to spin a yarn for a tamora kat warren sheridan team up i would set it in warren and sheridan’s world and simply for convenience i’m keeping them both at the ages they are in their respective stories so 18 and 22 and i’m not entirely sure of the circumstances which would land tamora and kat anywhere but the sets would id each other when someone freezes somewhere and they hey who’s that moving over there there’d be introductions where tamora and kat are like hi we’re tamora and kat mitchell and they’re like a lil confused when that gets no reaction bc quite frankly like they are the daughters of a charmed one and where they’re from the majority of witches & other magical beings know their name bc like. they do. and this only gets weirder where warren and sheridan are like we’re warren and sheridan halliwell and kat’s like no ur not. and they’re like excuse me? and she’s like ur last name. and they’re like yeah?? halliwell???? and tamora and kat are like yeah??? bc again where they’re from this name carries insane weight to pose as a halliwell w/o having the last name would be fucking insane but where warren and sheridan are from the charmed ones died in a basement in 2005 halliwell name going with it and also they really don’t know that much about their mom’s side of the family anyways so their like i don’t get what you’re not getting here our last name legally is like halliwell it’s from our mom’s side and tamora and kat are like Who is your mom????? and they’re like her name was prue and tam and kat are like !!!!!!!! what the fuck. what the fuck? and warren and sheridan are like okay. what. and tamora and kat are like hi thrilled to meet u we’re ur cousins. and warren and sheridan are like cool and immediately try to freeze them to talk amongst themselves but then realizes that Doesn’t Work bc they’re Also Witches and they’re like well fuck. new plan we take them back to the house and we hold swizzlesticks in their face (the house cat, a familiar) and go off the cat’s reaction. so blah blah blah tamora and kat are like trying to explain no no no see your mom was a part of the charmed ones right and warren and sheridan are like okay i think that was mentioned in passing idk what that means tho and kat and tam are like fr? whatever we don’t have time the point is in our world prue died and they’re like oh no don’t worry she died in our world too and tam and kat are like oh. my condolences the point is the charmed ones were reconstituted when piper and phoebe (your aunts) found our mom, who was their half sister, an illegitimate child patty had with her whitelighter. and warren and sheridan are like okay cool. the fuck is a whitelighter? and tam and kat are like !!!! bc how tf can you be a halliwell and be so far removed from magic next stop obvi would be the manor which was been magically secured to the nines debatable whether or not they break in warren and sheridan might have like a couple memories i mean less like memories and more like vibes from when they were raised in the manor for 90 seconds and um. they’re definitely getting a premonition of prue’s death, and then also the reconstitution of the po3 with paige for good measure confirming tk’s story. then the mission is obviously find whatever it was that sent tam and kat here and get them back and uhh breaking into the manor was of no use bc when piper phoebe and paige completely remade their identities and faked their death like they took the book with them. they’re not just gonna leave it in the house lmao. and so tam and kat are like okay magic school? and warren and sheridan are like What Down and the girls open a door into magic school to find it totally decimated and almost entirely deteriorated after the death of the charmed ones evil tried to claim it which ate away at the core of magic school until it was uninhabitable. so that’s a no go. okay warren and sheridan what do you do. and they’re like um okay so there’s the school library. and there’s google. and we have some friends who are witches. and tam and kat are like you have friends who are witches but still have never heard of like. the charmed ones. and warren and sheridan are like hey man they’re not Witches Witches they’re like. witch practitioner. but they’re good and they like. know plants and stuff. and of course worse comes to worse fun fact most demons aren’t expecting you to punch them so like. that also works. and tamora and kat are like okay cool what i’m hearing is we’re gonna be trapped in this world forever. but i think it would be a really nice blend of warren and sheridan learning the craft (these lads don’t even know how to scry 💀) and tamora and kat really taking a step back bc they were raised in a world immersed in magic and really have never like. seen the craft done in this way. and i think like they can definitely learn some lessons here. also debatable whether or not kat brings her sword but if she does warren and sheridan would Totally lose their shit. and would probably buy swords 4 themselves.
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lokiarsene · 5 years
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and thus concludes my posts about the anime! i’l be watching the OVA tonight as well, but those will be in their own posts.
thoughts on episode 22:
-- i know the story's trying to push the idea that sae is only concerned with getting a promotion for her own personal gain, but the way i see it, she's a woman who was forced to shoulder the burden of being a mother to her younger sister, and then forced to become the family breadwinner after their father was killed. on top of that stress, she's a woman in a male-dominated field, in a sexist society, struggling to be taken seriously and prove herself. why the fuck is it a BAD THING to want a promotion and recognition for how hard you bust your ass?
i guess it’s because all that wrapped up in her willingness to do underhanded things in order to succeed--but i still think her motives are sympathetic. far more so than any of the other PT targets previously (futaba excluded).
-- i forgot about this dual wieldin kid with the 'GET SMOKED' hat and 'NOOBS' coat. he's the coolest.
-- ren being all business with mishima instead of wanting to make small talk is v e r y relatable. mishima's just too fuckin weird, man. like there's no redeeming quality there. he's just WEIRD.
-- THANK YOU FOR YOUR PASSING WORDS OF WISDOM, TINY DUAL GUN-WIELDING CHILD.
-- i'm gonna admit that i barely paid attention to about 98% of this ep because so much of it hinges on changing mishima and i just.......... don't care. i know that dude's been through some awful shit, and i'm not disregarding that at all. he's just one of the many characters failed by the writing.
thoughts on episode 23:
-- ren staring intently at goro's name on the whiteboard has an entirely heterosexual explanation, i'm sure. especially since it comes after makoto saying it'll just be dangerous to invite him.
ren, a bitch who loves danger: *sweats internally*
-- oh look, makoto pointing out how they can use akechi to their advantage (and him totally seeing through that because of course he’d expect people to only be interested in him for their own game--and for the PT to attempt some kind of tricker). i don't see enough people really bringing that up, especially when it comes to akechi's feelings about the PT and akechi's feelings about ren.
-- AKECHI WELCOMES HIM HOME, AHHHHHHHHHHH
-- AND THEY'RE PLAYING CHESS AGAIN
-- AND AKECHI TELLS HIM NOT TO THINK TOO HARD ABOUT HIS NEXT MOVE
-- A H HHHHHHHHHH
-- akechi talkin' shit about shido's understanding of the PT is.... Good.
like i know why he's doing it lmao but it's still nice to hear. one of the things i love about akechi is that he speaks the truth yet it’s not said honestly. Shido DOES misunderstand the motives and goals of the PT. This is true. But Akechi saying it isn’t just support of the PT, it’s to clearly attempt to win Ren over and throw doubt on his suspicions.
Akechi is a character who says honest things for dishonest reasons--and that’s so fucking cool.
-- i genuinely do believe that akechi wants to believe his actions and goals are the same as the PT--because he needs to believe that.
-- ren saying he's going to rip off the 'ghost's mask and ryuji just slAPPING HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD was fucking hysterical
-- "it's a habit. 8I"
-- ren locking up when goro looks at him is...... also a thing
-- "he's cunning." ok i never even considered that--akechi just eats the spiciest takoyaki so he can get the fuck outta there after makin' eyes at ren is the kinda disaster gay behavior i fully understand.
-- akechi slowly and wordlessly gesturing for makoto to continue with her interruption is also very good.
-- GODDAMMIT I LOVE AKECHI SO FUCKING MUCHC
-- gotta love how akechi calls the PT out for using him for info right after ryuji complains that they're being blackmailed~ they're both just using each other~~~ the only sincere interactions goro has is with ren~~~~~~ and even that is coated in his aforementioned ‘honest things said dishonestly’ habit~~~~~~~~`
-- goro looks. right. at. ren. when he asks. if they'll help.
thoughts on episode 24:
-- akechi's distress at being complimented by a girl is duly noted.
-- i forgot how fucking cool sae's shadow looks
-- yknow, i never really thought about the challenge it'd require akechi to maintain his robin hood-rebel form throughout sae's palace. it's very telling that loki only comes out when akechi is pushed to his absolute limit, when he can no longer hold onto himself.
-- goro and ren playing chess in leblanc's afterhours!! is so!! vjdkaljgdsklafuewaiojfsdka
-- "they say bloods thicker than water, right?" THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT SAYING MEANS
-- oh my god akechi and ren privately text each other late at night asking and offeRING HELP TO EACH OTHER AHHHHHHHH
-- ;-; akechi agreeing to help ren's plan to save futaba fjdskafjdslkfdskl by saying he knows exactly how she feels?? im????? he's protecting her???????????? of course he would--he totally understands what she’s going through.
-- AKECHI JUST MAKING A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE TO POINT OUT TO FUTABA'S UNCLE HOW SHE'S A WORTHLESS SHIT AND BRINGS LITERAL RECEIPTS TO PROVE IT FJSAKFJSDKLFDSKL
-- SOJIRO TEARING UP WHEN FUTABA CALLS HIM DAD ;-;
AND HEARING REN SAY THAT HE HASN'T SUFFERED AT ALL SINCE MOVING HERE jfkdsajflkds
-- i will never ever ever get over these little scenes of akechi and ren playing chess together. HOW CAN A GAME OF CHESS HAVE THIS MUCH TENSION IN IT jfkdlskfsld
THE KING PIECE IS A MARK OF REN'S PROMISE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
thoughts on episode 25:
-- "if the accused is prosecuted, they have very little chance of winning" yeah i know, ace attorney taught me that--and it taught me you can use a parrot to get a not guilty verdict.
-- dear lord they really ran outta money and bumrushed the fuck out of these last few eps, didn't they? it's not quite 'evangelion eps 25 and 26' but MAN it's...... close.
-- nice of akechi to catch ryuji after he gets fried like that
-- TAE PUT A LITTLE DRAWING OF A GUINEA PIG ON THE ENERGY DRINKS HE MADE FOR REN FJDSAKFJDSKL
-- makoto :c
-- hey so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how are the cops able to get inside sae's palace?
-- it deserves repeating how fucking cool makoto's persona is because johanna is reALLY FUCKIN COOL
-- ren and akechi just chillin on the side, casually shooting at sae lmao there was just no sense of dramatic tension there at all, i love it
-- oh my god the budget is just gone
-- HOW THE FUCK DID THE COPS GET IN HERE
thoughts on episode 26:
-- i really like the intro on this episode. it's a pity it's the LAST FUCKING EPISODE. why go through the trouble of making this new intro if you're only going to use it once?
-- "dark sun / wherever you shine, eyes turn away / dark sun / what choice have i? to live another day / live another day / live one more day" that's........ bleak. and now i'm just thinking of the song 'black hole sun.'
-- HI ARSENE
-- god there was just too much pointless twists and plot contrivances in this. i completely forgot that joker needing to ~remember his bonds~ was even a thing. it's like this story was written solely with the twists in mind, and not the actual content of the story and how it'd flow and be paced.
-- akechi's actually upset about the cops being there? he even says to himself "this isn't the justice i wanted." he's actually fucking MAD about it! "not yet. i won't let it end here." even if you want to argue that the first part of what he said was a performance, makoto has already left when he gets mad! he has no one to perform for anymore! fjadlfjskld
i suppose you can say he’s mad because he wants to end all of this himself--but that only makes me love him more. NOBODY GETS TO KILL REN BUT HIM.
-- HOW DID THE COPS GET INTO THE FUCKING PALACE
-- how convenient of taro to just dump his backstory on this guy for the audience's sake. too bad it means nothing and goes nowhere.
-- goro says ren's first name ;-;
-- YEAH, GORO, HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET IN
LMAO AM I STUPID? I FEEL SO STUPID THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND
-- "I'm sure [the Black Mask] is just a pawn to the true mastermind." AND HE'S FUCKING RIGHT. THERE IS NOT A SINGLE LIE IN THAT SENTENCE.
-- "I'LL BE THE ONE TO SAVE REN." yes, save him with a bullet to the face. i love you, akechi.
-- "REN AND I MADE A DEAL."
-- "I PROMISE I CAN DO THIS." oh my god.
-- AND AKECHI'S WORDS FROM EARLIER, "I WON'T LET IT END HERE," ARE FRAMED ENTIRELY IN BLACK AND WHITE. A HH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-- this twist is so convoluted and i honestly just. don't. get it. i didn't get it when it first happened, i didn't get it when the game explained it to me. i didn't get it when i could REPEATEDLY ASK FUTABA ABOUT IT AFTER.
-- "nobody would ever know if things get a little violent." akechi pls
-- "is that what you thought i'd say?" I FUCKING LOVE YOU AKECHI
-- have i mentioned how much i fucking love that this episode just ends with akechi SHOOTING JOKER IN THE HEAD lmao because i fucking love it
-- like THEY STRAIGHT UP ENDED THE ANIME LIKE THAT
THEY FUCKIN DID THAT LMFAFIDJLSKAFDSLK
-- AND THEN THAT BIT OF HIM GRINNING AT THE END: "YEAH, RIGHT."
god. the only other villain i love that’s even remotely close to akechi is kylo ren, y’all. gimme all that villain/hero or villain/heroine romance. gimme.
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tumblunni · 6 years
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Okay.. like.. man... Shadow of Mordor.. why... why you tease me... There is literally a rival personality in this game that says ‘we are soulmates’ and ‘I didn’t know the human fiend would be this beautiful’ and ‘I savor our moments together’ and talks about having a beautiful spring marriage?? And from the tone of the voiceacting it seems uhh.. rather more likely that all these ambiguously gay orcs are supposed to be there for the ‘funny’ and the ‘eww disgusting i want to kill him even faster’ That’s the intended reaction Somehow Absolutely no intended aspect of ‘oh my god why in the fuck does the engine make me fight this man who wants to smooch my protagonist, what did he ever do wrong’ HOW DID THEY NOT PREEMPT THIS???
seriously its so WEIRD there are like ten different types of ‘friendly rival’ personality that don’t even act like they want to fight and then they fight and at least the regular friendly one has dialogue like ‘ha he’s actually a sneaky bastard who’s just saying he’ll surrender to make you let your guard down’ none of that for the flirtman none of that for the TWO DIFFERENT DIALOGUE SETS OF FLIRTMAN, WITH VARYING DEGREES OF HOMOPHOBIA just A Man Exists And Says You Are Handsome, Now Kill
and like the only reason it’s left in this weird Ambiguous Space Of Maybe Bad Or Not is because well you have to kill everyone else too, and everyone else is also supposed to be comic relief and seen as repulsive and killable but still its really awkward and still I feel SO FRUSTRATED because how the fuck did the developers not think this was endearing!! that it would make people feel bad killing him!! that people would want some sort of alternate option!! involving actual orc marriage!! WHERE IS MY ORC MARRIAGE!!
and also there’s like only two female characters in the entire world, your uncharacterized wife who dies in the prologue just to provide a reason why you kill the orcs, and an equally personalityless love interest for a side character who exists to be damsel in distress sidequest time so like the evidence of protagonist being heterosexual is rather flimsy he has no chemistry with this woman and then she dies immediately and then he goes like 80 hours before even seeing another woman ORC RIVAL MAN HAS SO MUCH MORE CHEMISTRY HOLY SHIT YOU’RE LIKELY TO ENCOUNTER MORE GAY ORCS IN THIS GAME THAN WOMEN
and seriously all the moral questionableness of the damn plot! lots of people have said it better in more detaield reviews but seriously it was a bad choice to give a complex personality engine to the enemies in this game and not the humans. and to have a story entirely based on ‘all orcs are evil so murder them grotesquely’ paired with gameplay that conclusively proves they absolutely aren’t heartless monsters at all. The protagonist is essentially identical to Sauron, he’s just enslaving orcs by mind control instead of like.. recruiting them. Seriously Sauron actually gives them more free will than you! But of couuuurse you don’t enslave HUMANS too, so its fiiiiiiiine....
But anyway I’m bringing that up cos I was thinking about how ORC MARRIAGE would work SO WELL with this plot and could even fix a lot of those problems! Cos like.. what if protagonist’s bloodthirstiness was actually aknowledged? What if he actually noticed that he was becoming just the same as the orcs, in the name of taking revenge on them? And what if instead of enslaving them through magical mind control, it was the logical conclusion of a warrior species respecting him for being like them? You could just win over these different warlords by defeating them in combat! It’s so simple, why didn’t they use that instead!!! And then like... you could have both good and bad orcs. And also factions of the other species too! Fight Sauron’s other minions, and even rogue factions of evil humans/dwarves/elves! And maybe the goal could be to win over the majority of the orcs and get them to leave the dark army and come join the humans, instead of just killing them. You’d be like The Fightin’ Ambassador! And naturally this would all work SUPER WELL if at the same time you were having an amazing classical love story of two men from different countries showing each other the best of both worlds, and joining together in a grand marriage symbolizing the union of the races. AND THERE WOULD BE A GRAND WEDDING AND BUNNI WOULD CRY A LOT
And also this plot could work well with adding a multiple endings aspect? Cos you could totally play it like classical LOTR and just play the orcs against each other and destroy them all, or you could join the dark side and turn against your former bretehren, or you could happy orc marriage neutral peace time. Or maybe another neutral ending that’s more like ‘protagonist fucked off and forgot all about his quest’, lol? You just become a super famous gladiator overlord amoung the orcs, and keep on fighting and boozing forever instead of actually addressing the main plot. Also like.. I don’t know super much about orc worldbuilding in LOTR yet, but wouldn’t it be cool if they were like vikings and norse mythology? i mean, that’s usually the go-to for ‘warrior race’ characters when it’s supposed to be a positive thing. or just in general it would be nice to imagine what fully rounded orc society would be like. What do they do when they’re not fighting? What sort of industries do they have? What are their houses like? What about their cuisine? Their non-battle tailoring? Or is it a big cultural concept to always wear battle gear for boasting rights/to be prepared at all times? Would that affect how they create battlewear, if it has to be comfy enough to wear 24/7? How do things work in an all male society, and also why were they created to be all male anyway? And how is their mythology and religion and stuff affected by the fact they were created? I mean it’s already just interesting enough that they were created by a dark lord yet went off and became a very autonomous society doing all sorts of other stuff for their own reasons.
also WHAT ABOUT ORC MARRIAGE I’m gonna stand by my headcanon of it being intertwined with warrior laws, like ye olde pirate matelotage. And maybe humans kinda see it the same way as that? I.e. something you can do in secret while off adventuring, because its sorta ‘lawless land’. So there might be human LGBT couples who travel to orc lands in order to get married! Big buff orc priests that can carry the entire wedding reception down the aisle! OH OH OH and just imagine orcs as that general ‘warrior race guy but good’ archetype? Like, friendly cuddly big dad who buys a beer for everyone! or the ‘stoic and obsessed with honor’ guy, like a samurai or a paladin. Imagine the whole wide variety of job classes humans get given in fantasy settings, and imagine if other races weren’t just ‘the one singular job guys who all have the same personality’
Also I like to imagine Orc Marriage Guy is the cuddly beer dad version! Maybe a bit like Brian from DDADDS? Like you’d start off having him as your rival in battle, and he seems like a stuck up gary oak guy. But then he gets a big ol giant crush on you when you prove how buff you are. Orc: Ha! I bet you can’t [extremely ridiculous challenge]! Protagonist: *extremely ridiculous challenge* Or: (OH NO HE’S HOTTTT) And it could be cute imagining protagonist being a bit oblivious to it at first, and orc guy being embarassed about expressing his feelings cos of how rude he was at first and all ‘aaaa what if he doesn’t like meeee’. So protag is totally baffled why his rival suddenly starts blushing and runs away at the speed of light. “Come back and fight me, you cur!” Totally thinks this is just ego rivalman making fun of him somehow, starts doing even more Buff Feats of Handsome to prove he’s the strongest, everything spirals into increasingly more blushing. Finally one of the warlord’s underlings is like ‘CMON BOSS, SPIT IT OUT’ and they all get together to arrange a date between the two of you. ten thousand fold army of wingmen! And you end up becoming fire forged pals and then dating and marrying but still being sort of a ‘bash brothers’ kind of thing where you’re a lil competitive but in a nice way? Like you still spar together and go on big adventures together and fight giant dragons and give them as a romantic anniversary gift to your husband. And together you are the most powerful couple in the kingdom! And adopt ten thousand underlings as your new sons. THE END
bunni gets way too invested in headcanons sorry
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The Problems with Malec
I decided to make a post solely about the problems Magnus and Alec have in the show that makes them not work as well as they could. Why? Not because I love complaining, but because it’s so important everyone is aware of what is going on. And sadly, what is going on simply isn’t all roses and justified. So let me explain what it is that is making this couple and these two characters not come to their full potential: 
1. Lack of storyline
Both Magnus and Alec are currently suffering from a “What the hell do we do with these characters”. Unlike the core three, there isn’t much book material to go on. Which means the team behind shadowhunters has to come up with a storyline themselves, and apparently that is really hard to do.  Or well, I should say, it’s hard to do properly.  Alec doesn’t really have a storyline of his own this season. Almost everything he does is playing second fidel to someone else’s storyline. He’s either attached to Jace’s his storyline, to Izzy’s storyline or even to Luke’s storyline. But he doesn’t have one of his own. Malec is not his own storyline. You could say him being the head of the Institute is his storyline, but he didn’t get the position as a result of his storyline, he didn’t even get it because he had earned it. And with his new position he hasn’t done anything that didn’t have ties to other things. It’s been connected to Luke’s storyline in which he tried to kill Valentine, and sabotaging Sebastian’s plan. The new role also restricts Alec as a character from having his own storyline or even being involved in other people their storyline. Even Matthew admitted to this. For Alec’s well being as a developing character he shouldn’t be a head for long. Not that he is doing a good job at it, since for the sake of “equality” he spents his nights with Magnus at his home. Which is totally in character, and totally normal to do when you have just been appointed. 
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Magnus has his own storyline one would argue. He is dealing with his past and trying to find some sort of balance between being a warlock and dating Alec.  But how much have we seen from that storyline that was actually good storytelling. Everything we saw in S2A was always in connection to someone else and now in S2B Simon his heartbreak get the priority of good proper screentime over a character with severe childhood traumas. In what universe does that even make sense? Yes Simon his heartbreak is understandable, but why introduce such a heavy topic as childhood trauma only to treat it like a secondary issue with a screentime of less than 8 minutes combined with flashback scenes and the “i’m fine moments”.  Though mind you this is not the first time the show has taken a very serious topic only to treat it with the least amount of care in the world, remember Alec’s suicide attempt and the promise we would get back to that since it’s so important. I haven’t seen it anywhere, have you? 
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2. Lack of screentime
If you’re not a malec fan or simply don’t care enough about them to want equality for them, the go to comment is; “this show is not about Malec”. Granted you got me there. But that doesn’t justify the lack of screentime. Now Todd has planned himself in the corner that tough choices have to be made:
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They only have so much minutes bla bla bla, BULLSHIT. Todd simply has different priorities. Every ep in S2B has started with “My name Clary Fray”- 
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Let’s be real, that is atleast a good minute of airtime that gets spend on shit the episode doesn’t need. Not to even mention the unneccessary scenes, such as Jace making out with Kaelie in the bed half naked (precious golden scene? Sure Jan). He can’t say he believes screentime should go to Clary, Simon and Jace even if the episode could easily miss the scene since it adds nothing, so the answer is even golden scenes have to be cut. Don’t get mad please, it’s a hard job.... Ehum NO, it really really isn’t. It’s about pacing, which sucks in this show, it’s about priorities which in this show don’t focus on Magnus, Alec, Luke or the rest. It’s about not adding more characters to an all ready full show.  They make the weirdest choices when it comes to malec, the scenes are short even when the moments are important, because everything else is apparently more important, hey not my words anymore, they are officially Todd’s now.  
3. The equality issue
I guess this is more personal. As a proud member of the lgbtq community, to me equality is absolute. I know what shows look like that give it to their viewers and thus i know Shadowhunters isn’t one of these shows. Arguments like “but they have more than in the bookserie, so stop talking”, are annoying as hell and not even correct. (Which you can read here) Arguments like “this isn’t the malec show” are fucking rude. Equality has nothing to do with turning Shadowhunters into the Malec show. If you believe this to be case, then you are not an ally and are (sub)conciously homophobic. Some lgbtq+ people even believe this to be true and honey, sorry to tell you but that is some internalised homophobia you’ve got going on there.  Equality simply means an equal treatment. Not give them 50% of the show’s time and Clace the other 50% cause well, there is also Izzy, Simon, Luke and Maia. This is not about some weird ass division of time. It’s about the Quality of the time they getting and the imbalance compared to the heterosexual pairings. 
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The fade into black from 2x07 was homophobic as fuck. Malec not getting their first time shown, no intimate scenes. No real, well-written conversations. All of that adds up to this unequal treatment the couple gets, I’m not counting the stray scene they actual do right like the balcony scene in 1x06. Why does Magnus love Alec? I don’t know. Why do I not know this? Because the show never bothered to explain it to me, to show it to me. Why does Alec love Magnus? I don’t know. Because he was the first guy to notice him, but surely there is more to it. I’m just not sure what that more is. Why? They don’t bother to show me.  It is these small things that make the show fail epicly when it comes to Malec.  Most of the fandom is happy when they get one minute, because we have successfully been brainwashed into thinking that is what this couple deserves and that this is what we should be grateful for.  Everyone is over the moon with the morning scene in 2x15 in spite of the body language that shows discomfort, in spite of the OOC behaviour of Alec; this is not something the new head of the institute should do and definitely Alec, sorry. They are catering to you, with the bare minimum because well, you will accept it, praise it, maybe complain but hey we’ll watch again next week, cause TODD keeps making promises it will be better. Will it though? No really? Cause if you keep watching, you keep defending the show, you keep having a whiplash from going between “OMG I CAN’T EVEN” to “WHAT IS THIS SHIT”  why do they have to change how they treat Malec. Equality is a serious issue, but an issue this show doesn’t take seriously. And apart from a tweet, nothing indicates this will change in the future.
4. Lies from TPTB
If there is one thing I’m not fond of it’s lying Showrunners and boy does Todd have a track record in that. Just have a look at the first round of interviews they did. Remember how they agreed with the fandom that Malec went too fast in S1, that they needed to pull it back, because why the hell did they even like each other...... Well here we are Ep 15 and they’ve had sex and we’ve had an I love you, three even. If anything the new showrunners are going even faster. Much of what they promised to do with Malec, flew out of the window somehow the moment they started writing. Why? God knows why, I guess. Some people think they want to establish the couple as fast a possible, so as little as possible screentime has to be spent on them and they can still say, but hey look at this couple and the progressiveness, they are the OTP of this show, never will they break up. Stop complaining about the screentime and just appreciate that they are still together and going strong, here have another I love you, now shut up. I’m not part of that team, but I also don’t see enough evidence suggesting they are completely off. In fact the willingness of the team to have Malec adopt Madzie actually proves these fans might have a point. If only the lies had stopped there, but then there was the MalecMania. Oh Boy was the fandom hyped and with good reasons and Oh Boy was it a big let down to the point the fandom roared with anger. Then he promised he would work on it, this was during the filming of 2x13/2x14. Not all scripts had been written yet and they definitely weren’t filmed yet.
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So why is he tweeting that he’s working on it now not three weeks ago. Don’t you mean you worked on it, keep a look out for this improvement? That is what you promised in the first place. But now this promise seems to have been moved to S3. And when S3A doesn’t deliver will he move the promise to S3B? He is a master at baiting the fans with Malec and for some reason the fans seem to not comprehend that they are being baited. So he can problably move it forever and nobody would object, cause he promises too change people! Give the show the benefit of the doubt.... Okay? But seriously for how long?! And how many lies does he have to tell before he loose his credibility. Mind you a lot of tweets ended up being deleted from his timeline as well, things spoken without thought and no intention to realise these comments.
What needs to change in my opinion?
First of All, Malec needs to take a step back. Breath, take things slow. Realise they know very little about each other and that they are going way too fast. Alec needs to give his position to someone else, I love Alec as the head of institute, but I don’t want him to be restricted by it. He can always earn it fairly around S7. I personally think Alec would prefer that too. That he is the head of the institute or hell even inquistitor because he was chosen to be by his people, not by Jace because the latter isn’t one for following the rules. Show us just how special and good Alec is, don’t have others tell us. Cause you haven’t shown Alec to be a great leader, you’ve shown the exact opposite before appointing him this position. Even Alec has his doubts, which he really shouldn’t have if he was sure of his position. 
Magnus needs a different role. Whatever he is currently, it’s not working as it give the character very little meat and no connection to the rest of the characters, thus isolating him. Especially if his current problems/storylines are treated as secondary. The show needs to address serious issues with the gentle care they deserve instead of using them for drama plotdevices. Alec’s suicide was a big thing, but thrown aside just as easily. Magnus his traumas are also pushed aside somewhat for storylines that require less screentime and care but are given double of it. Even Izzy who tried to kill her brother hasn’t really dealt with what drove her. The show touches on a lot of things with the other characters only to never really expand on it, for the sake of drama. And it needs to stop doing that. 
The show needs to start showing things instead of telling me things. I don’t want to hear Izzy went to meetings, I want to see her there, so I can hear why she felt the need to take Yin Fen and I can see her struggle.The same goes for Alec and Magnus, a lot is told but never shown. I’m tired of hearing about it, I want to see it. If I have to see every single thing about Clary, Simon and Jace, why can I not see these important moments from the other main characters. Especially if they are so linked to the storylines they are suppossedly telling us. 
The last comment also would increase the quality of their storylines, and thus create a more equal feel to it. But Equality needs to happen. For a show that won the Glaad award, it saddens me to say, they did not deserve it. Compared to their competition the show underdelivers and I think the show should become one worthy of that award. 
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themyskira · 7 years
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THAT Wonder Woman script, part 2 of oh shit it got worse
Previously on Wonder Woman, we met our hero -- brave, selfless, moral, willing to go to bat for perfect strangers without a thought for personal safety, but uneasy with emotional vulnerability, preferring to rebuff intimacy with snark and condescension.
I’m talking, of course, about Steve Trevor. Wait, who did you think the hero of this movie was?
Anyway, Steve crashed in plane on an island of Nasty Women, proved his moral superiority and won a convert in the form of a luminous-elemental-natural-curvaceous-waterfall-girl, who beat up her mother to save his life, then decided to follow him home. Just because.
Now Steve and The Girl are flying into a war zone, where Steve is overdue to deliver much-needed supplies to sick, starving refugees.
Alright, so they reach their destination, and there’s trouble on the ground. The runway is crawling with soldiers, and Steve’s crew — Ben Mzamane, Dr Moira “Sully” Sullivan and Griffin Thiele — are looking distinctly worried.
Steve admonishes Diana to keep herself hidden and not cause any trouble, before exiting the plane to greet the soldiers’ leader, a “petty warlord” called Goshnak. He’s the one they had to bribe to get supplies in for the refugees, and he’s demanding extra compensation on account of Steve’s delayed arrival.
BEN We are grateful for everything you have done—
GOSHNAK And what is your gratitude? A few paltry bribes!?
STEVE They’re not paltry. These are quality bribes—
Things are getting dire. They’re surrounded by men with guns and Goshnak is threatening to take the whole damn plane. Then Diana emerges from the plane and suddenly everyone is staring.
SULLY My god. That is a quality bribe.
Hahaha!! What hilarity! I don’t know why more writers don’t exploit the rich comedic vein that is human sex trafficking!!
There’s some mystical nonsense where the camera closes tight on Diana’s foot as it touches the ground and sends a wind whistling through the trees, across the mountains, over the sea and into a darkened room where an ominous figure raises its head.  Nobody on the airstrip notices, mostly because Goshnak is still threatening to shoot everybody and Diana is Not Helping.
GOSHNAK All the goods on that plane are mine.
DIANA No they’re not.
GOSHNAK Do you dare to question my authority?
DIANA Authority that cannot be questioned should look for a different name.
wow great very helpful Diana, lecturing the man with the gun on semantics.
GOSHNAK You bring this whore to insult me?
DIANA What did you say?
STEVE Diana, shut up.
Okay, on the one hand, in the context of this scene Diana is making a bad situation worse and, as she’s being written, this character kind of needs to be told to shut up. On the other hand, I don’t need to see Steve Trevor telling Wonder Woman to shut up, especially right after another man has called her a whore.
And speaking of stupid out-of-character behaviour—
DIANA (moving toward Goshnak) If you want to challenge me, then be man enough to—
I cannot think of a character less likely to use the expression “man enough” than fucking Wonder Woman.
Anyway, that’s the point where Goshnak shoots her in the chest.
She puts a hand to her chest, confused. Blood runs over her hand. […] Diana is on her hands and knees, an unlovely gurgle in her breath. She pushes hard on the (unseen) wound. A few moments, and she wrenches her hand from her chest, rearing back onto her knees.
In her bloody hand, she holds a bullet.
She stares at it, standing shakily up. Goshnak backs off a step, freaked. She holds the bullet up to him, furious confusion in her eyes. She looks at Steve…
DIANA Are you people insane?
And then she faints.
Such heroics.
We cut to Gateway City, where the Spearhead Technologies building dominates the skyline, resembling the head of a spear. Track down through the more run-down neighbourhoods, down into an empty subway station and deep into the old sewerage tunnels beneath the city.
An older homeless man leads a younger female reporter through the tunnels. Their destination:
…a half graffiti/half American-primitive MURAL, depicting a figure in armour on a horse stabbing a giant dragon. Behind them, towers crumble and burn. It’s eerie and awkward, and very beautiful.
It also apparently means something to reporter-lady, but we don’t get to find out what, because that’s when Strife appears.
GINNY (continuing) My God…
The white, deformed face with the bright red teeth and the carved metal skull-cap appears right next to hers, grinning horrifically.
STRIFE No. Not yours.
And then he kills them both. Yes, “he”. For some reason Whedon has decided to make Eris/Strife — a goddess in Greek mythology — into a dude.
Back Our Hero, waiting outside a tent at base camp. Sully is inside tending to Diana. His mate Griffin is particularly concerned for Diana.
GRIFFIN […] I can’t believe Goshnak. Who the hell shoots an unarmed, tasty looking girl?
Okay, so really he’s more concerned for Diana’s rack.
Sully steps out, clearly unhappy, and announces there’s nothing more she can do. This sounds ominous until Diana strides out afterwards, completely healed; turns out Sully didn’t need to do anything.
Diana heads urgently for the plane and Steve hurries after her. He’s stunned that she’s up and about with barely a scar after only six hours; Diana is aghast that it took so long.
STEVE […] You’re healed.
DIANA Yes, after hours. It’s degrading… to be felled by a tiny piece of metal. (quietly) I didn’t know something could hurt that much.
STEVE (not unkindly) Welcome to the world.
THIS WORLD IS SO FUCKED, MAN, I HAD TO WAIT SIX WHOLE HOURS FOR MY NEAR-FATAL GUNSHOT WOUND TO BE MIRACULOUSLY HEALED. SO DEGRADING, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED IN MY LIFE.
Diana picks up the pace. Goshnak’s men took the supplies to their camp in the hills, and she intends to get them back. There’s a guard at the plane; she knocks him flat without breaking a sweat. As she changes into her armour, Steve lectures her again. He’s a dick about it, but he does have a point: none of Diana’s behaviour has been helpful so far, and now she’s planning on walking into a warlord’s camp and starting a firefight.
Not killing, though. She is prepared to kill a warrior on a battlefield, she says, but nobody who “hides behind” a gun can be called a warrior. Which— look, I’m as pro-gun-control as they come, but that is a bizarrely political statement to put in the mouth of a character who barely even understands what firearms are, let alone the currents of debate going on in America and around the world. Sure, she’s just experienced being shot, and the intense pain of it shocked her, but I’m pretty sure getting disembowelled with a sword is super painful as well.
Basically, Diana’s deep and immediate disgust at guns specifically reads like Whedon trying to shoehorn his own politics into the script, and it does not work.
To Diana’s credit, she proves slightly more competent at dealing with Goshnak’s men. She picks off the sentries in the dark, takes the sleeping soldiers by surprise, and this time when Goshnak shoots, she’s ready to deflect the bullets with her bracelets.
She could use some work on her patter, though.
…she grabs his throat.
DIANA Stop. Shooting. Me.
The gun hits the ground and Diana brings her heel down on it with enough force to break it.
DIANA (continuing) This land is not safe for you. The people here are under my protection and if you even approach them, your death will be appalling. Remember that, when you awake.
She headbutts him, her tiara ringing off his forehead like a blunted bell.
“your death will be appalling”? really?
She changed her mind quick on the whole non-killing thing.
Later, in the refugee camp, the food has been distributed and the doc is tending to the sick. Diana watches as a young boy eats hungrily from a can, only for a man — maybe his father — see him and snatched the food for himself.
STEVE (appearing) Yeah, starvation doesn’t seem to make people nicer. It’s weird.
URGH GO AWAY STEVEN YOU ABSOLUTE TOSSER.
DIANA How could the gods allow this?
STEVE Your gods are dead, Diana. World hasn’t been theirs for a long while.
HAHA, BOOM! Take that, Diana! Shame on you for trying to come to grips with a world you’ve known for all of twelve hours!
Steve walks off, and Ben approaches to reassure Diana that Our Hero is just super prickly because of his Tragic Backstory. See, he used to be in the Air Force, flying combat missions, and once got downed behind enemy lines. He left the military with “a health distrust of anyone with too much power” and “[d]ecided to drop something more productive than bombs” — that’s why he set up this operation with Sully.
Diana asks whether Steve and Sully are “mates” because let us remember that the Amazons are a DEEPLY AND EXCLUSIVELY HETEROSEXUAL CULTURE and naturally it would never enter her mind that Steve might be in a relationship with Ben or Griffin, or for that matter more than one person. Anyway. AWKWARDNESS ENSUES.
BEN Mates?
DIANA Do they… mate? Or…
BEN (smiles) Sully would never put up with him. I don’t believe Steve’s seeing anyone right now.
DIANA (awkward) Oh. That’s of no import. To me. I don’t care about that.
URGH STOP.
Ben asks Diana what she intends to do next, and she says “to help”. Because as we’ve seen she has zero plans outside of taking a gap year in Man’s World so she can ‘find herself’. “I need to know more,” she elaborates unhelpfully. “I need to see… everything.” Apparently unfazed, Ben invites her to “stick with us”. Next stop, Gateway City.
What is Gateway, Diana asks?
We’re answered by a voiceover as we cut back to the Spearhead building.
CALLAS (V.O.) The greatest city in the world. The symbol of American ingenuity, prosperity, and cultural diversity. […] Literally, our gateway to the world.
The speaker is Spearhead’s CEO, Arabella Callas, who appears to be a low-budget Veronica Cale. She is, Joss tells us, “[v]ery blonde, very patrician, unflappable and icy smooth. As lovely as she is untouchable.”
She’s talking to a seemingly mundane meeting of executives and city councilmen, about zoning issues. We learn that Spearhead deals in military technology and is one of the city’s biggest investors. The councillors are keen to accommodate them.
Of course, the moment everyone leaves, Callas flips from zero to cartoon fucking villain. She touches a painting behind her desk, which glows briefly. A tapestry lifts to reveal a giant steel door, which slides open. And with that, Callas strolls on into her evil lair.
INT. SPEARHEAD WAR ROOM - CONTINUING
A cross between a Wall Street trading bullpen and Houston Ground Control, this is where Spearhead monitors the world. There are screens with maps and satellite feeds, dozens of employees with headsets tracking troop movements, high-level government communications, even weather patterns. These employees don’t wear suits. They wear black.
From Callas’ interactions with the operatives, we basically learn that Spearhead are secretly puppetmasters of chaos; no exaggeration. Talks between two warring nations have broken down thanks to an interpreter on Spearhead’s payroll; Callas instructs an employee to “keep our reps on point; I don’t want a bullet fired that wasn’t bought from us”. There’s a hurricane off the Carolina coast, and Spearhead is preparing to seed mass panic in the media. Some dictator wants to get his hands on Spearhead’s new bombers before the Pentagon — Callas is willing to deal for “12 per cent”. A 12 per cent mark-up, the employee asks? No, says Callas: 12 per cent of his county.
Basically, Callas and Spearhead are a caricature of corporate villainy and Joss could not be less subtle if he tried. But wait! There’s more!
Callas announces that she’s going to pray and exits into a dark room lit by torches and dominated by a statue of Ares.
I know, guys. I’m shocked, too. Who would’ve ever thought that Spearhead Enterprises, a weapons manufacturing company that secretly stokes war from inside a building shaped like a spear, would actually be a front for a cult of the god of war?! This is entirely unexpected. I mean, gosh, next you’ll be telling me that Gateway City is sitting on top of a gateway to something ominous and supernatural! Crazy stuff!!
As Callas prays, Strife materialises and tells her he’s gotten rid of the reporter. Callas presses; was he discreet about it?
CALLAS […] The eyes of the world cannot be on Gateway. Not right now. The world is won—
STRIFE (along with her) —won in silence. I know. There was a time when the God of War made war.
CALLAS You want war, you need armies. You need an acceptable level of poverty and ignorance. (looking up at the statue) Despair, rage, religious fervour and above all fear.
Honestly, Marston wrote villains that were more nuanced than this. Whedon literally named her Callous, ffs.
They talk about some reports of a woman taking out a rebel brigade in Africa singlehandedly, then they discuss a planned test of “the Khimaera” as they step into a large silo. The technology inside has a distinctly magical edge. What’s the Khimaera, you ask?
CALLAS The Age of Monsters is over.
STRIFE Is it. Is it really.
As he says it the camera pulls back to reveal the head of the Khimaera — we see little more than a metal shape, the top of which resembles a cross between a lion’s head and a massive rock-drill. Clearly filling the entire silo, the thing writhes and spews fire. Maintenance machines arm out from the wall or crawl over it, insectlike.
groan.
Back to Our Hero and The Girl, who have arrived in the city. Diana is eager to see everything at once; Steve isn’t so sure it’s a good idea to let her go wandering on her own. “I’ll be fine,” she says. “No, I’m kind of afraid for the city,” he deadpans.
Diana enters the throng of the city — “looking at everything and everyone intently, more sociologist than sightseer”. We pan through various sights — extreme wealth and extreme poverty, toy stores and strip clubs. Someone shoves a “LIVE NUDE GIRLS” flyer into her hands; appalled, she looks around to give it back. Which makes sense, because obviously living all her life on an island of Extremely Heterosexual Women, Diana is going to be extremely prudish about the female body.
Then,
—a hooker in an outfit skimpier than Diana’s who stares at Diana, asking:
HOOKER Who are you supposed to be?
Hahaha!! It’s funny because the sex worker thought Diana, also, was a sex worker, which as we all know is a Gross and Shameful thing to be! Oh, the comedy!
Diana steps into the street, forcing a guy in a convertible to swerve around her. He calls her a bitch, she stops the car dead with her bare hands and asks him to repeat that, but then the confrontation is cut short by a cry from across the street. A fourteen-year-old boy is being shaken down by a drug dealer.
Diana whips the dealer with her lasso; he pulls out his gun and starts firing. She deflects the bullets easily, knocks away the gun and lectures him about how she doesn’t like firearms. Then she whips the lasso around his neck and demands to know what he’s doing.
THE DEALER I’m just standing here minding my own crack dealing! (he stops, shaken) No, no, I sell crack! And guns. I also run whores sometimes— or, no! I mean… (deflated) That’s what I mean.
Diana ascertains that the major drug kingpin in the city is a dude called Kleen. We will be spending a stupid amount of time following up on him later, despite his having no relevance to the broader plot.
However, as they speak, Diana realises that dozens of rats are scurrying up from the basement grating of the old building behind them. They’re afraid of something.
Cut to the Spearhead war room, where the Khimaera test — whatever that is — is underway. An employee tells Callas that they have structural engineers ready to feed the media some story about a seismic tremor and a building not built to code. But there’s a problem — the cameras are showing somebody unexpected on the test site.
Because gosh darn it, wouldn’t you just know, first day in the city and Wonder Woman has managed to blunder onto the very site on which Evil Incorporated is testing their doomsday device!
Back to Diana, who’s now urgently shoving people out of the building, racing up the stairs to usher people out of the upper floors as the walls begin to lurch and buckle. She’s barely managed to get everyone out when Strife jumps her. They fight, Diana just holding her own, and Strife warns her to stay out of the city as he teleports away, leaving the building to collapse on her.
Later, in Steve’s bedroom, Diana lies face-down and topless on the bed as Steve cleans her wounds. She explains that Strife the the cruellest god and the servant of his uncle, Ares, because Joss isn’t even trying. FYI, Eris — the Greek personification of strife — is Ares’ brother (and/or first-cousin-twice-removed, Greek divine family trees are complicated) and she works for her own dang self.
Steve immediately leaps to the conclusion that Strife’s appearance is Diana’s fault, because Steve is a dick.
DIANA Do you think it’s all coincidence? Truly? The signs are all around us. You don’t think I’m here for a reason?
STEVE I think you’re dangerous. I think you mean well but you’re looking for trouble and you’re wildly adept at finding it. I think you’ve got delusions of grandeur and some actual grandeur, which is confusing. I don’t like confusing. I hate the fact that I’m so attracted to you, just touching you is overwhelming and I keep hoping you’ll turn around so I can see more of you naked.
He stops, even more confused than she is. His jaw sets and he reaches down, pulls the lasso out from under his butt. She tries not to show her smile.
you are the worst joss.
Diana talks a bit about how despite the violence and inequality and selfishness she’s seen, she believes the people of this world have the capacity for good — they just need to be reminded to look up. Steve makes a guess — that’s her mission, right? Diana corrects him: “Our mission.” This… is actually sounding almost like Diana for once. She doesn’t just want to beat the big bads, she wants to inspire, empower and work together with those around her to build a better world.
Naturally, Steve has to spoil it by being a wanker again.
STEVE […] What if you lose?
DIANA As long as there’s life in me, I don’t quit.
STEVE Nyeah, but I didn’t say ‘quit’. I said ‘lose’. Any idiot can win. Doesn’t mean jack till you’ve done the other thing.
Aaaaaand we’re back to the old “you can’t be a hero because you haven’t suffered enough”.
A series of short scenes follows; Diana interrupting drug shipments, taking down thugs, rescuing women from human traffickers, saving people from collapsing buildings and so on. We see that Steve and his people are working with her to give medical treatment to victims and map out Kleen’s criminal empire.
Joss still has time for some casual dickishness, though.
GIRL Lady? (points up) My cat is stuck in that tree.
Diana looks up, sees the cat on a branch, looks back at the girl with dismissive incomprehension.
DIANA Climb it.
but waitwaitwait. You know what we haven’t had in a good couple of scenes? Some good ol’-fashioned slut-shaming!
NEWSCASTER [female] Reports have come in from all over the city. Descriptions vary, but all describe her as female, impossibly strong and scantily clad. […]
NEWSCASTER #2 [male] So, what do you think? Publicity stunt?
NEWSCASTER (sourly) Probably. The last time I checked, heroes didn’t run around in bustiers.
Strife and Callas complain about how the meddling kids are spoiling their evil plans. Callas has a solution in mind, though — the one thing that “for an Amazon, is worse than death”.
OH GOOD WE’RE ALMOST AT THE DEPOWERING, DEGRADATION AND LIVE BURIAL PART OF THE SCRIPT THIS CAN’T POSSIBLY GO POORLY
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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years
Text
http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/160196348636/wow-kob-and-i-thought-that-you-couldnt-be-any
Nope and I can prove it:
https://megashadowdragon.tumblr.com/likes
Taking a look at his likes, you’ll see he is much more frequent to like stuff than i am, he has a variety of pieces he has liked from Fandoms I didn’t even know about and has been doing it for over a year AKA as long as I have been around. he’s not an altnate account: You’re just paranoid.
Still baiting 0-4 seeing as you failed to see Mage wasn’t an alternate account, failed to see dragon here isn’t one, failed to see rwbyfan18 as one until I said it and even failed to see what was obviously an alt account of mine. That’s akin to having the ball on a tie for you and you smacking yourself in the knee.
Here’s the deal: You’re being an asshole, who is constantly enabling RT to make the same mistakes over and over again, and I’ll stop being an asshole who constantly rips on them for legitimate reasons.
Yeah, the @team-crtq blog as well as my several other criticial posts of RWBy disagree.
And your legitimate problems consist of fact manipulation, out of context quotes and complaining about their depictions of LGBT people, females, racial minorities and Amputees...despite not being any of those things...and people from each group telling you you’re wrong.
Kindly fuck off. And stop doing that bullshit “Do a play-by-play ‘deconstruction’“ thing that you do. You thinkI’m petty? I’m not the one who goes into the rwde tag looking for a fight.
So I shouldn’t give context to what I am talking about so people know what i am saying and can form their own opinions. Thanks Dudeblade.
Considering the fact that you people have called me every name in the book while suicide baiting me and I have only used the generic insults of :Asshole” “dumbass” or “idiot”: yes, you are petty.
In fact, I’m unaware of any person from the rwde tag going into the RW/BY tag looking for a fight. Only you and your posse go into the rwde tag for a fight.
Aside from that time RWBY criticism posted a mocking post in the main Rwde tag on the day of Monty’s death or the fact that I have come across your posts before in the main rwby tag and I have pointed that out to you? Your tags clearly show you’re trying to pick a fight with me so yes, you and many others have.
So, who’s the real villain here? - You live in a world where everything is black and white. So obviously, you think that you’re the hero, and the entire rwde tag is the villain. 
And with one sentence you have shown that you do not understand me in the slightest.
Wanna know why I call myself knightofbalance? Because I legitimately believe that it is impossible for a human being to be completely good or completely evil. In my philosophy, you can succumb to darkness and destroy everything in your path and succumb to light and become detached from the world and become stagnant. My belief is that you have to trust in your inner compass along with the compass of people you know you can trust to guide you on he thin line between light and darkness. This is emphasized by a piece of music I have found and have adopted as my theme (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l0RMGid6vo). This is the theme of Senator Armstrong from Metal Gear Rising Revengence who I share more than one philosophical stand point with. And just like him, I wait to be beaten down and proven that an ideal is stronger than mine, that I am wrong. And that’s what I do in the rwde tag: Shout out for a challenge. And not one of you have won.
Even as my friends mocked you, I defended you saying that you probably just have a weird way of looking at the world or that you just have psychological problems: It took me forever to get it through my skull you think you’re absolutely right and that everyone who disagrees with you is wrong. And to this day, I still defend you on occasion. Unlike you.
Get the fuck off your high horse. You enabling, apologist, annoying, biased, person who doesn’t understand that your constant praise is detrimental to the growth of a production company.
Let’s go through this:
Apologist
I called out Rooster Teeth for not treating Shane and Sheena better. All i did was say Shane probably had problems of his own, some that he could not control. But you latch yourself onto whatever contraversy surrounding Rooster Teeth without looking deeper into it or looking at similar cases.
Enabling
I have called out Rt for not giving characters focus, like Salem and Yang. I just don’t think Jaune is hogging the screentime like you say he is. But you ignore everything positive about the show and berate everything they do.
Annoying
personal opinion and thus cannot be debated.
biased
You have a self proclaimed bias against both Taiyang and all male characters as well as a shown bias against Miles as the moment Arryn said the writing wasn’t at fault, you said he forced her to say that.
Constant Praise
I haven’t actually done all that much praising of Rooster Teeth aside from red Vs. Blue, in fact I’ve made an equal number of critical and praising posts about RWBY. You on the other hand have not said one good thing otherwise despite proclaiming to be a fan.
And just as well, that constant attacking will shut them off of actual criticism as you drown out actual critics thus not only would you damage the entire show, you risk harming the people behind it.
Everything you have called me more applies to you than me and you have a stated history of projecting: You might want to stop.
And I do find it convenient that you assume that I’m white. I’m part Filipino, part Spanish, Part Chinese, andPart Italian. How do we know that you’re not the white asshole who is constantly doing this sort of BS? - Seriously. There are also other people besides the ones that you mentioned that are part of those oppressed minorities that have a beef with how the writing is going. Are their criticisms somehow less valid that the praises that your friends have? - You sure seem to act like it.
And I was suppose to be aware of this previously despite arguing against you about racism before and never once mentioning this how?
Yeah, I’m white but I’m also autistic meaning I suffer prejudice as well (seeing as Autistic people are often compared to being diseased or brain damaged). And if the White Fang where a group with a neurological disorder, I would still berate them. In fact, I would berate them more so because they give me a bad name so that doesn’t work.
And that’s one person versus two people I know and unlike you, they don’t have a tendency to overreact and scream. Not to mention the fact that factions like the White Fang do exist in real life (Black Lives Matter for race, Muslim terrorists for religion ect). I would beat the ever loving shit out of a KKK member should I see them, even if they’re defending themselves from a group of people who are attacking them solely because they are white. You can’t claim that it is definitively racist when the majority says otherwise.
Also, why didn’t you call any BS on the section about LGBT+ Representation? - Were you too afraid to call out any of the reasons that I had there? - Or were you just one of the assholes who cherry-picks something to suit your needs? - Like how you accuse the rwde tag of doing?
This is what I am talking about when I say fact manipulation: I did call you out by posting a link to three LGBT people who call out people like you. 
Direct quote from the post:
And yet you will claim to speak for them here. Meanwhile, the three bisexuals I work with have made a post detailing why 90% of what you are about to say is bullshit. (https://team-crtq.tumblr.com/post/160160464449/rwby-and-ships)
Even I have more of a right to be offended since I’m some weird demi-heterosexual hybrid.
https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/160180531630/httpdudebladetumblrcompost160161209960rwde Post for reference.
So you’re still projecting.
So yeah. Get the fuck off your high horse. You haven’t earned it. And if you attitude is anything to go by, you never will.
By the virtue of giving you a chance to prove your self and not telling you to kill yourself as well as the fact that I don’t manipulate the facts nor am I being hateful does put me above you.
The problem is: This is basic human decency. All I’m doing is being a human being. The fact that I see myself above you should scare you because I think so lowly of myself. 
PS: The only way to get me off this site is to force me off. So either quit with the weaksauce and come at me or accept the fact you cannot win.
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