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#that sort of thing is usually good for anxiety and mind
shadowtraveled · 1 month
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
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but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
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the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
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which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
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the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
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yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
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cordeliawhohung · 3 months
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what kind of drunk is shy!reader? and how does mafia!simon handle her at that state?
oooh! very interesting question!
first off, i think it would be very difficult to get her to drink. not that she's opposed to drinking or wanting to stay sober or anything, i just think she really doesn't want to drink in social settings. like she would not be getting drunk at Price's club or anything like that. she'd want to make sure she's really in control of herself and aware of her surroundings. so when she does drink, she's only really drinking around close friends and people she knows!
which usually means that she only really gets drunk around Simon. because of course he's the person she feels most comfortable being around. he'll make her the tasty fruity drinks while he's sipping on his whiskey and she talks a lot. way more than she does when she's sober. it's like all her worries and filters just vanish, and she'll just talk about whatever's on her mind.
"i like your tattoos."
"yeah?"
"yeah. you should let me color them. please? i think that'd look neat. do you like purple? i feel like purple would look really good here."
"whatever you like, sweetheart."
she also gets really touchy. not like in a weird way but she's just always leaning against him, trying to cuddle, play with his hair, trace the lines on his palm, that sort of thing. we've seen in other one shots that she's a little anxious with PDA but really, she's a little touch starved.
fuck it i'm writing a blurb under the cut.
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there was nowhere else you'd rather be than in the warm cage of your boyfriend's arms. curled in his lap, you sat with your head nestled into the side of his neck where you could feel the rise and fall of his chest and the steady beating of his heart. whatever show or movie you had been watching faded away into background noise as the fuzzy drunkenness of your brain cloaked your body and all its senses.
"hold me," you whispered, speech slurred.
"i am holdin' you," Simon retorted.
"more."
he chuckled as he squeezed his arms tight, firmly pulling you into him as if trying to consume you through osmosis. and though it was constricting, it felt nice, like laying under a heavy blanket in winter.
"i love you," you admitted as you curled into him. "you're so warm. i wanna bite you. we should cuddle more often." you paused to place a few kisses against the soft side of his neck. "you smell good. would you be mad if i bit you?"
the poor man was at an utter loss for words, and for a moment he could only shake his head and laugh. "you're gettin' feisty."
"you hate me."
there was something cute about how carefree you got when you were drunk that just had Simon wrapped around your finger. without the anxiety and worry holding you down, you had become something of a chatterbox. one that he could listen to all day. but it was getting late, and he needed to cut you off eventually.
"i'm gonna take you to bed, yeah?" he prompted as he slowly began to position his arms to pick you up.
"are we having sex?" you asked.
taken aback, Simon shook his head. "not right now."
"why not?" you questioned, confused.
"you're drunk."
"oh." a pause. "we're still cuddling."
"'course."
I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR
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qlossytbh · 11 days
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𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐭 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐚𝐮!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 Spencer reacts to your new hair-do
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 fem!reader, just a lot of disgustingly sweet fluff, Spencer’s a blabbering mess, sweetheart!reader, sunshine!reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 1.3k
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 i actually find this one so cute oml
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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You walked the corridor, taking long strides as the sound of your heels clicked and echoed across the hall. You smiled sweetly at your fellow co-workers, as you struggled to hold the papers and books in your arms. 
People around the BAU usually loved bumping into you in the morning, mainly because of how infectious your good mood seemed to be. You always walked into work with that huge smile displayed on your features, immediately infecting those around you. No one understood how someone as bright and, in a sense, pure as you could work in such a mentally demanding environment. You’d sometimes take part of seeing the crime scenes and assisted in a few of those cases, but during most of them, you’d stay around and help Garcia with certain tasks and whatnot. 
You waved at one of your more familiar coworkers as you hurriedly made your way to the conference room, desperately trying to make it to the meeting where the rest of the team was waiting. A small wave of anxiety rushed through you, knowing that Gideon was bound to scold you one way or another for being late.
As you turned the corner, your body collided with someone else's, causing a few files to fly away along with two or three books, landing lightly on the ground. A small groan left your lips as you rubbed your arm, before you began to profusely apologize. "I’m sorry, I didn't—"
But to your suprise, when you motioned your gaze upward, you were welcomed with the familiar view of one of your favourite people in this whole office. "Spencer!"
You couldnt help how an increadibly wide smile splattered onto your face as you realized it had only been him whom you bumped into. You noticed however, how Spencer was just staring at you dumbly, moth slightly fallen agape, looking as if not a single thought was going through his head— which was a rare ocassion. 
"Your hair—" He said barely above a whisper as he took in your face. 
You furrowed your brows before dawning with realization. “Oh!”
You hand ran up to your now shoulder length hair and combed your fingertips through the ends of it with a small.
"Yeah, I felt like cutting it all off, seemed eaiser to maintain and I was aiming for it to be healthier, but I’m still getting used to it you know.." You said, leaning on your heels and looking at your friend who seemed too dozed off to be listening to anything you were saying.
And that he was. Spencer had been too busy rerunning his daily schedule in his head as he walked the halls, coincidentally, just as late as you are to the exact same meeting. He felt like an idiot for bumping into someone, cursing internally at himself, and felt even more horrified as he realized that it had been you. And to make matters worse, he had sent all your papers flying everywhere. The embarrassment he was feeling at that exact moment was uncomparable. 
But every running thought stopped when he looked at at you and god. He felt like wind had been knocked directly out of his chest and suddenly his mind went blank. He stared at your now short hair, admiring how incredibly breathtaking it made you look. 
The length framed your face perfectly, encentuating your cheekbones and jaw structure and from what he could see, you’d also gotten a small fringe done. Your cheeks glowed a natural pink hue while your eyes gleemed happily and Spencer couldve sworn in that instant second that you were the most beautiful thing he’d set his eyes on. 
"—Spence." You cut through his thoughts, reeling him back to reality. "You in there?"
He swallowed nervously before nearly jumping to his feet just to answer and prevent you from thinking he had some sort of mental problem for staring so much. "Uh— Yeah! R-right here.."
You dipped your chin slightly as he continued to look at you, your ever persistant smile still plastered onto your features. The sudden pattering of your heart didn’t deter you from observing Spencer with a curious gaze, wondering what was going on in that big head of his. "It's short…”
He mentally slapped himself. You laughed.
"Yeah, it is actually! Didn’t really plan on it being so short, I asked them to leave it longer but the hairstylist lady didnt really listen," You chuckled to yourself, running a hand nervously through your hair. "Do you like it?"
Spencers stomach was doing all sorts of flips and turns as you gazed up at him, looking so sweet. But he couldnt seem to emit any sort of words, anything he thought of responding seemed wrong and the words he wanted to say wouldn't move past the back of his throat. His eye quickly caught a glimpse of your scattered papers. 
"Shoot, uhm—“ He bent down and began collecting all of the pages together nervously. You offered him a humored smile before beinding down and helping him with all the fallen objects, shaking your head at his endearing antics.
It was always so humorous to see how collected and steady Spencer usually was, alwasy able to keep his thoughts into one straight line, aiming to get as much information out as possible, in the most cohesive way possible. He usually held himself so cautiously and carefully. His intelligence was something you loved about him. 
But to see how much of a blabbering mess he’d become around you, made you think very fondly of him. How his hands would begin to fidget nervously and how his words became all twisted. Spencer always had so much in his head, but the second you came into the picture, everything vanished— except the thought of you. 
Derek specifically always teased Spencer with his ‘oh so obvious’ crush, stating how he had 'no game' and if he didnt ask you out sooner he was going to do somethng about it. You were an absolute sweetheart and everyone knew you and Spencer would work perfectly. 
You finished collecting your last book and stood up, sighing in relief. You took one last look at Spencer, beofre looking up at him with a glint of mischeif in your eyes. "You should be careful next time Dr. Reid," 
Spencer could feel his pulse in his neck. He opened his mouth and closed it before clearing his throat. "Yeah, I wasnt really—“
"Spence," You called, pulling him out of his thoughts before he could become a stammering mess. "I’m just teasing."
Spencer swallowed and offered you his signature side smile, wihch cuased your own to grow. You looked behind you and gestured towards the other side of the hall. “We should proabably start walking if we want to—“
"It looks really good." Spencer spat out nervously, too quick for you to catch. You tilted your head, ever so slightly and raised your brows. You hummed, not quite sure you had heard the words that left his mouth. 
"Hmm?"
"Your, uh, hair—“ He prodded, pointed to your new haircut. "It looks really good— you look really good,"
Your smile grew and your eyes softened. You probably looked like a child on christmas morning. Heat rushed up to your cheeks as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear timidly, suddenly scared by the way your pulse had quickened. 
"Thank Spence," Your voice was sweet as hunny and all he wanted to do was for you to continue looking at him the way you were right now. You stopped with a bit of hesitation, before welcoming him to come walk with you towards your conjoined meeting. "Walk with me?"
He nodded silently and walked by your side as you rambled about your weekend. Spencer loved talking about the things he knew, and sharing as many facts and statistics as he could, but when it came to you, all he ever wanted to do was just listen.
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i may or may not have a little series in the works🤭
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.⋆。Gone But Here All The Same。⋆.
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x plus size reader
Being a military wife could be quite lonesome especially being a military wife to a ghost but he knows exactly what you need to make you feel less alone
Warnings: smut, phone sex, masturbation (m&f), some reference to death and PTSD but not really, dom!Simon, sex toys, bit of voice kink, size kink
WC: 1.7k
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
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You knew what you were getting into when you married Simon. He was a member of the special forces who technically didn’t exist- you were used to the long months when he was shipped off, the anxiety that John Price would show up on your doorstep with a frown and a letter from the military, the anger and the fear that your husband carried on his chest every moment of the day.
You knew all of this and yet you still married him because he was the best thing to ever happen to you and besides that, he was the best lay you ever had.
Simon had ruined you for any other man (and toy) the moment that his thick fingers slipped between your soft thighs and into your panties under the bar table on your third date. He drove you insane with the smallest of touches, playing with your body with a finesse that only a seasoned soldier could.
You constantly ached for him, feeling so hollow without his thick cock stretching you to your absolute limit. Sure the reunion sex was absolutely mind-blowing every time he came home but with Simon leaving for sometimes months at a time, your need for any sort of pleasure drove you insane.
But luckily, he was going to call you today.
Simon called when he could, usually it was from a private number or some foreign phone, a different number every time. He had created a system with you, he would always call on the 13th of every month and if he missed it, he would call you on the 23rd. 
You sat on your shared bed, staring intently at your phone. The minutes ticked by at a snail's pace as the sun cast a warm orange glow over the large bedroom. You sighed when the clock hit 8, you doubted that he would call today.
A groan slipped from your lips as you rocked forward to slip from the bed, but just then the phone screen lit up, displaying a cute photo of you and Simon on your honeymoon as a random number rolled across the top. You snatched it up and quickly answered.
“Simon.” You breathed, relief flooding your body. His chuckle crackled through your phone’s speaker.
“Hello to you too bunny.” Your smile grew even wider if that was at all possible. He only ever called you bunny when he was in a good mood. You flopped back against the mountain of pillows propped against the headboard, keeping your phone as close as you could in lieu of your husband’s massive body.
“Are you coming home soon?” You tugged the collar of the shirt you were wearing up to your nose, inhaling the fading scent of his cologne.
He was silent for a moment. “No, not yet love.” ‘Love’, that’s what he called you when he was trying to let you down easy. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but he quickly spoke again. “I do have a present for you bunny.” He purred, his voice dropping down an octave to that deep baritone that haunted your wet dreams.
“But nothing was delivered to the house?” 
“Oh bunny.” He said mockingly. “Your present is already in the house. How ‘bout you check my nightstand.” You practically dove over to his side of the bed in your excitement, Simon’s broken laughter following after you.
The drawer slid open and you gasped. Sitting on top of one of his many spare balaclavas and a book he was in the middle of reading was an enormous dildo. There was a suction cup on the bottom where the balls should have been and with a little bow sitting on the head, it made you laugh a little under your breath. “Got it?” 
Simon’s voice broke you out of your trance. You snatched up the toy and gasped at the weight of it. “Simon what is this?” You settled back into your original spot, your fingers flexing around the purple silicon almost unconsciously.
“I would think you know what it is considering how often you beg for it.” He said right as your middle finger brushed against an incredibly life-like vein towards the base of the fake cock, a vein you knew very well.
“Is this- is this your cock?” Molten heat pooled between your thighs as you held the toy even tighter, now realising that you were indeed holding a replica of your husband’s generous gift. Already you were using your free hand to pull your soaked panties down your legs.
“Damn right it is. You think I would let another cock near you?” He snarled, sending another wave of arousal right to your core. You moaned softly into the air as your fingers brushed against your aching clit, smearing your wetness over the sedative bundle of nerves. “Oh you like that don’t you.”
“Si.” His groan echoed through the room and you could faintly hear the sound of a zipper.
“Go on bunny, get that cunt nice and stretched for my cock.” You were dripping onto the comforter beneath you, desperately eager to follow each and every one of his orders. Excitement began to curl in your stomach as two of your fingers easily slipped into your cunt. It wasn’t nearly enough for you, your fingers weren’t as thick or as long as your husband’s but they were warming you up well enough.
“Can I put it in now?” You pleaded into your phone, needing your husband’s cock nestled inside you once more, even if it was only a replica. He let out a sniffled groan and you could just picture the way he was biting his lip to keep his voice down, his blue eyes squeezed shut as he gripped the base of his dick to stave off his end. He always got noisy when he was about to cum.
“I don’t think your little cunt can handle it.” He managed to get out through clenched teeth. You nodded frantically. “Words bunny.” He snarled, briefly jolting you from your haze.
“Yes Si, can handle you. Always do.” Your other hand practically flew between your thighs, the toy gripped so tightly you could feel the silicon give under the tension. The cold tip bumped against your hot skin as you notched it at your entrance. 
Your cunt burned as it finally breached you, dousing the ache in your belly. You whined with pain and Simon moaned. It was no secret that he loved the size difference between you both, he revealed in the way you cried when he fucked you, his massive cock stirring up your guts in the most deliciously painful way.
You could barely breathe as you reached the halfway mark. “So big.” Your back arched and you forced another inch inside you. A wet slapping came through your phone’s speakers along with Simon’s muffled breaths.
An image of him flashed behind your eyes- fully dressed in dark clothes but with his fly open and his thick cargo pants shuffled down his hips just enough for his cock to be free. The ridged lines of his skull mask would hide the way his lips twitched as he got lost in the feel of his gloved fist around his aching length. 
You cried out as you finally reached the hilt of the dildo, finally you were full of him once more. “Simon, you feel so good.” You pulled the toy out only a few centimetres before pushing it back in and sending a shockwave of pleasure through you. 
“Fuck bunny, keep talking.” He ground out as the wet sounds on his end picked up the pace.
“I can feel you in my belly, so big. Stretching me out.” Your hand began to move faster. It wasn’t the same as when your husband fucked you, you couldn’t feel his weight keeping you picked to the mattress or the way his cock would throb and twitch within you but the sound of his voice right next to your ear was all the same. 
His groan resonated through your chest, lighting your nerves up with that familiar fire. “Take that fucking cock, bunny, be a good girl and fuck yourself on it. Let me hear you cum for me.” 
You thrashed on top of the bed, hips rolling down to meet your hand with each thrust. “Simon!” You clumsily strummed your clit with your other hand so wishing for the rough fingertips of your husband instead. “‘M close.” You mewled.
“Cum.” The connection crackled with the depth of his voice but the effect was still the same. Your body seized suddenly as your jaw dropped in a silent scream. Pleasure rippled through you like a tidal wave, both easing and fuelling your lust. 
As soon as your breath returned to your lungs, you chanted his name over and over again as you rode out your high. “That’s it, good bunny.” Simon cooed, his breath hitching as he thrust into his fist with an added fervour. You were delirious with ecstasy, the toy inside of you now only keeping you full while your orgasm began to fade.
“Simon. Need your cum.” You begged softly into the phone. “Please Simon. Need it so bad.” He gasped and then moaned deep in his chest. 
“Shit.” He said breathlessly after a moment. “Shoulda brought a towel with me.” He grumbled and you laughed.
As gently as you could, you eased the dildo from your cunt. You winced at the stretch, now feeling sore and satisfied for the first time in two months. “How much longer do you have left on the call?” There was a grunt and then the sound of a zipper.
“Not long.” You sighed and relaxed back into the pillows. Simon always got quiet after sex, his pillow talk was practically non-existent.
“I love you.” There was a beat and then.
“Go take a shower and have a snack. Don’t forget water.” He never said it back but you felt it all the same. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
There was muffled shouting in the background and he sighed. “Stay safe out there. Don’t worry about me.” Your fingers curled around your phone and tucked it closer to your body.
“Always do bunny.” He replied simply. “Always do.” 
You held onto the device long after he finally hung up. It was hard being Simon’s wife but it was also the easiest thing in the world because you knew that he would always be right there, even when he was thousands of miles away.
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mamayan · 7 months
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oof your writing is so good 🙈 if your requests are open, would you be willing to write smth for dabi with a nervous virgin reader? Maybe some fingering and petting, lots of praise and encouragement if you're okay with that!! I also wouldn't mind if theres a little dubcon scattered in there for flavour😳 Thank you!🙏
Fuck it’s his favorite— absolutely I will Nonnie♥️ Dabi is nothing if not the perfect gentlemen… sorta. Am I gonna get sued for changing his words in this manga panel? I got carried away with this lol
Yandere Dabi x Virgin! Darling
tw: NSFW • Fem! Darling • Obsessive/Possessive Themes • Implied Mental/Emotional/Physical Abuse • Dubcon • Praise • Virgin! Darling • BDSM • Fingering • Oral • Sex (M)(F) • Denial/Edging • Overstimulation • Dacryphilia • Unprotected Sex • Creampie
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The front door slammed loud enough to reverberate around the apartment.
You sat facing the small tv, the screen playing some sort of cartoon with the volume on low, unmoving even as the thuds of his boots against vinyl faux wood flooring became louder. You were curled around your legs, pulled to your chest as your bare feet seemed to absorb the cold around you, icy skin keeping you grounded. Only a thin ratty oversized t-shirt and tiny shorts covering your body, despite the broken thermostat keeping the apartment at almost freezing temperatures.
Dark combat boots entered your field of vision, you numbly let your eyes flick up to take him in. He smelled like cigarette smoke and whiskey, the burning scent making acid bubble up in your stomach to your throat, but you meekly swallowed it down and gave a wobbly smile. “W-welcome home…” it was said with all the enthusiasm of a man walking towards his execution.
He crouches down to face you better, forearms resting on his knees as he levels you with a… soft look.
It has chills shooting down your spine, your stomach rolling and clenching while your chest heaves with anxiety. He’s not a soft man. He’s never been soft, not really, only in strange sporadic moments does he gently do anything to you, but it’s always followed by something sinister. Always.
“Hey pet, you cold?” He’s sadistic and cruel even on a good day. His words immediately making your eyes burn as you try to stop the impending tears. You’re always cold, left freezing locked up until his return, your only source of comfort and warmth him. It was a nasty play, logically you knew it, but logic was what got you hurt so you nodded despite the itch in your heart begging you to hold out a little longer. “M’cold…” you assent, unable to see the defeated dull look in your own eyes, but he could.
“C’mere then,” his smile is so sweet, his staples hardly pulling and his usually vibrant eyes more subdued and gentle. You wanted him to stop whatever game he’s playing now. Whatever sick trick he’s got hidden to make your walls crumble around you. His arms spread open, his knees hitting the floor so he could straighten his spine, and his embrace looking so warm.
Like selling your soul to the devil, you caved. Pathetically nearly falling as you all but threw yourself into him.
The fire wielding psychopath was a lot of things, and sadly running warmer than a normal person was one of them. Just being close to him was like sitting near a furnace, heat radiating off him in waves it seemed. You had all the time in the world to hate yourself when he inevitably left you again to nearly freeze, for now you focused on getting feeling back into your limbs as you pressed yourself as close as possible.
His chuckle is breathy as he wraps you up easily, pulling you into his lap as he sits back on his ass now, your thighs on either side of his to let you be as physically close as possible. Well, almost as physically close as possible, because when you were so desperate for his touch like this, it’s hard not to think about you begging for him to really warm you up.
“Better?” He doesn’t really need to ask, not when you’re fighting to keep your hands from digging under his shirt and getting more body heat from him. Your little sigh of contentment adorable, and while his day was mundane, he did get to release most of his pent up frustration on some lowlife pieces of shit. He was in a good mood, but he’d be in a better one soon.
“Hn” your little affirmation quiet as you rested your cheek against the exposed skin of his collarbone, breathing him in and relaxing as your stiff muscles and joints soaked his warmth up greedily. You didn’t even fight when his hands began to smooth over your skin, up your calves and thighs to your ass where he gave a little squeeze. You put up no resistance, no screaming or fighting tonight it seemed. “You still cold?” His lips are right are by your ear, warm breath blowing over it and sending a shiver of something… different down to your stomach. The stale cigarette scent wasn’t as bothersome to you when he wasn’t being mean it seemed.
You let him pet and stroke your skin, warming you up gradually and shifting you both around until your core was against his stomach and he was flat on his back. He even lifted up his shirt and your own a bit to give more contact, the staples across his chest smoother than you’d initially thought.
This was all wrong and you were without a doubt being soothed into… something. Peace? A sense of safety? Whatever it was, you mentally kept yourself prepared. Even if his touch was soft and careful, you knew what lurked behind those pretty eyes.
“You stopped shakin’…” his observation was more of a statement, but indeed you had warmed up enough not to shiver anymore. He wasn’t usually so nice as to help warm you up like this, usually making you drop to your knees and cling to him while he heckled your behavior.
Your world flipped too quickly to react. Your back now on the cool floor with his body looming over you.
“You’re still cold though, aren’t you pet?” His smile isn’t nice anymore.
“D-Dabi please…”
“What’s wrong, you don’t want me to warm you up anymore?” It was a thinly veiled threat that had you nearly delirious with panic in seconds.
“N-no I do! I do, please don’t stop!” Your pretty eyes filling with tears made him bite down hard on his tongue, tasting blood as he struggles to keep himself calm. It’s you after all. You weren’t some cheap whore he screwed for a quick release. You were his.
That meant something. Whether it was good or bad was debatable and complicated.
“Then let me warm you up, it’ll be faster like this,” he’s not lying. Even as he laughs at the confusion and waring emotions on your face, he really isn’t lying to you this time.
His lips aren’t soft. The kiss nothing like the ones you’d sneakily shared with a crush under the school bleachers, that kiss was a bit too wet and slimy. This one was commanding. His tongue easily slipping into your mouth in your shock, happy to invade and taste you, to share the overwhelming taste of tobacco. Your hands are tangled in his coat, tugging lightly on the fabric as he devours your mouth. He pulls back when you start to struggle, and the sight of your swollen parted lips has his pants uncomfortably tight. His zipper digging into his cock now.
“Dabi—,” your voice is barely even a whisper, almost inaudible but he catches it and pauses as he looks down at you carefully.
The fact that he’s even being careful should be considered as a mercy.
“Please be gentle…” your lips twist into a grimace, the lame line the only thing your muddled mind can conjure. His snort of amusement not helping your wounded pride, but as he shrugs his coat off and looks down at you, his words give you pause.
“I’m going to make you forget everything bad tonight pet.”
He doesn’t elaborate. You don’t need him to. You don’t want this. It doesn’t matter though, because you never wanted any of this. His sanity not even in question, because he’s clearly out of his damn mind and has been for quite a while.
His shirt is next, revealing his chest in the dim light of the tv still playing quietly, the words not even registering as a language you understood. The damaged flesh leathery and colored a dark purple in contrast to his healthy skin. You lay limp and almost defeated beneath him, watch as his hands deftly remove your own shirt, and while it’s not the first time he’s seen you naked… this would be the first he’s touched you so intimately. Your breasts exposed to the cool air harden quickly, his smile predatory as he leans over your chest to flick one with his tongue.
The sensation shoots straight to your pussy.
“Pretty little pet, are you scared?” His question is rhetorical, but you hate how he just seems to know your thoughts and feelings. So much so you wanted to ask if he hide a second quirk. In a last act of defiance, you shake your head. You are scared, terrified of what else there even is to lose because this evil man seems determined to take and have all of you. He’s insatiable for whatever you have, like a vampire taking the life right out of you. Except he won’t kill you, even if sometimes you wished he would. To end this game.
“Pfft, you look so serious,” his face is filled with only hunger and amusement, as he lets his rough palms rest over your breasts, squeezing lightly as he lets himself just take you in. His hands drag over your much softer skin, looking at the odd scar here and there left by his flames during the early days of your readjustment period. He lets one hand rest just over the mound of your pussy, still covered by the thin shorts that hardly covered anything. He’s quiet, and so are you, as you breathe and struggle to stay still for whatever this was. You imagined it to be more violent, less pathetic on your end, as if you’d given up without a fight.
Your tears of frustration finally broke and trailed down your cheeks, your brows furrowed and cheeks puffed as you try to stay silent and uphold whatever amount of dignity you had left. You wouldn’t beg him to stop, it only spurred him on. When his eyes looked back up, the image of you nearly drove him feral as he grinned, giddy with excitement in lieu of you crying. His snicker of approval only making you flinch back as his fingers hook inside the waist band of the shorts and your underwear.
“Keep crying pet. Maybe a hero will come to save you?” His words drip sarcasm as he now roughly yanks your bottoms down and off your body in one swift motion. You’re left completely nude and shivering as the cold seeps back into your body as you lay on the floor. “I don’t think any heroes even patrol this side of town anymore. Too dirty and messy, they can’t be bothered to save people here. So I guess that leaves just you n’me.” He’s not looking at your face, though he’d be elated to see the look of crushed hope painting your features, instead his eyes were trained on your tightly shut thighs. The soft skin a bit distorted from how hard you squeezed them closed. His dark hair falling a bit into his gaze as he easily digs his fingers roughly into your flesh to pry them open.
“Hii!” You cry of pain and shock adorable to his eyes as he gets an eye full in the dim light of your wet pussy.
“Better keep these spread pet, if I gotta open them again for you, I’ll give you a real reason to cry.” His eyes are fierce and foreboding as they meet your gaze, and fear keeps you compliant as you obey and keep your legs open where he left them. He smiles in approval, humming to himself as he begins to undo his belt and open up his pants.
He shifts to one handedly yanking his pants down to free his aching cock, his free hand moving to his open mouth to layer on his own saliva to his fingers. The wet digits brought to your pussy as you whimper, gently spreading your folds and admiring it as he grips his hard cock in his hand. You make the mistake of looking at it.
He’s covered in piercings. His cock long and thick, more so in the middle, with a slight upward curve… but there’s two distinct barbs through his dick on both sides, with the tip sporting one prominent one that had you wanting to disobey and close your legs anyway. It looked frightful and painful if anything else, and you briefly wondered if he did this to ensure his victims were thoroughly tormented at every step.
“Fuck look at you baby, so pretty like this aren’t you?” He’s gently poking and circling your clit, loving each little scared gasp and unsure look you shoot his way. He can tell it feels good for you, but with the uncertainty and fear factor of his looks and his cock, you’re wound tight in apprehension. He thinks it’s a beautiful sight on you. Your little sniffles and pouty lips captivate him into leaning over you again, licking your lips until you open and let him kiss you again. It’s languid and lazy like him, proving how good his mood currently is by how he’s taking his time with you. Your hands stay by your side, gripped tight into fists as you feel a finger begin to push inside of you.
He breaks the kiss the time, looking down to see you take his finger.
“Not so bad is it pet?” He wiggled and pushes it as deep as he can go, loving how your back aches and chest juts out in his face for easy access. He’s nice as he works you open with one finger, lavishing your sore nipples with licks and bites. You keep the moans soft and low, struggling to hate this like you thought you would.
It didn’t hurt at all. It felt good. That was the problem. Dabi never makes you feel good, he torments you like a cat with a mouse. That’s why he calls you pet.
So when he squeezes in a second finger and you moan louder? You nearly knock a tooth out slapping a hand over your lips in embarrassment.
“No you don’t,” his fingers rip free from your tight cunt, both hands gripping your wrists and pinning them with one hand above your head. He grabs his jacket, using the arms to make a makeshift cuff to lock your hands together. “Keep’’em right there,” he orders, and by his stern features you know he means it.
Tired of just testing the waters, Dabi crawls down your body in favor of bringing his face directly before your pussy. “Dabi?” Your head lifted to try and see him as he wraps his arms under your hips to hoist you up higher towards his awaiting mouth. “Been thinkin’ of how this pussy tastes for months,” he grins, letting his pierced tongue run from your dripping hole to your clit, sending sparks of pleasure through your body as your legs jolt and snap around his head.
You realize quickly and apologize, opening them to avoid any punishment.
“Good girl~” you don’t like how his praise warms you up further, your shaking now less from cold or fear and more from arousal.
He repeats his first few licks, before beginning to truly lavish your pretty cunt with his tongue and skills. Dabi isn’t actually an experienced man, most women fearful or disgusted by him for obvious reasons, but it wasn’t hard for him to figure out your reactions and follow the flow of your pleasure. The way you twitched and moaned, struggled to keep your hands in the spot he ordered you to, to keep your legs spread, he loved all of it. When your moans became high pitched whimpers and whines, and your muscles spasmed, he knew you were close.
“D-Dabi I think I—,” you were so close, core wound so tight you could snap at any second, and for the first time you liked what he was doing to you.
Until he stopped.
“No—!” Your cry was embarrassing, as you shook beneath him in horror of your own reaction. Panting and trying to catch your breath as your pleasure faded by the second, his Cheshire grin soaking up your disappointment eagerly. Of course he would, you felt bitter, even as he returned to licking and sucking your clit. Only when the build up returned did you relax again, moving your hips up a little as you neared the crest once more…
He stopped again.
“Dabi—!” Your indignant tone telling as you huffed, sweat beginning to dot your skin despite the cool temperatures, Dabi’s warmth even removed like this helping.
Your stomach ached with the urge to cum. “Something wrong pet?” His face said he knew what was wrong, but it seemed he wanted you to say it. Instead you stubbornly pressed your lips together, his shrug of nonchalance following as he returned to kissing and sucking, slower and more gradually building you up again.
Even if you mentally prepared for it, he let you get much closer to coming than the previous times, so when he pulled away, your legs clamped tight around his head to stop him. “Fuck, please Dabi,” you hated yourself. Hated how he held so much power over you.
If you didn’t look so cute, he’d probably punish you too for not listening.
“Please what?” You watch as he lets a drop of his salvia drip into your pussy, your trembling legs pushed open again by his hands as he stares up at you.
“P-please…” you didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to give him anymore of yourself but… “—please make me cum.”
He looks like that cat which got the milk. His satisfaction palpable as he laughs. “Well why didn’t you just say so? Since you said please.” His teasing tone muffled again soon by your wet pussy, his aggressive approach now much more intense as he eats you out with the purpose of making you cream his face now.
It doesn’t take long before the string violently snaps inside you, your orgasm intense and nearly painful as you come apart.
“Ah, yes, oh—,” you try to shift away, his tongue still laving your clit as he looks up at you, narrow gaze teasing and telling as you whine. “D-Dabi I-I already—ah please!” You almost bite your tongue when he sucks hard on your clit, your panic building with another orgasm. You moan, your head thrown back as your fingers grip and tug on the binding of his coat, hips shaking as you come again.
His lower face is soaked, but he can’t find it in himself to stop as he licks up all your release and noses your clit. Switching his assault to inside of your quivering hole, letting his wet hot tongue slither in, licking and poking your walls. He moans with you now, relaxing as he lets himself get comfortable, leaning against your thigh he has propped up now with his arm keeping you locked in position. He’s lazily feasting as you come again, this time breaking his rule and trying to push his face away with your hands still bound.
He doesn’t even stop then, just uses his free hand to grip the fabric and anchor your hands to your stomach as he continues to work you into another frenzy.
“S’too much! Stop! Stop Dabi! Please fuck, I can’t, ugh, no more—,” your pleas are ignored as he laughs, eyes crinkling as he watches you twitch and jolt with even the tiniest amount of pressure to your clit now.
“I thought you wanted to cum? Change your mind already?” You can hardly manage a full sentence, gasping for air like he’s choked you or something. He relents though, only because his cock is close to shooting his load even though he hadn’t touched himself while playing with you. Using his coat, he lifts your hands back above your head and scoots forward to let his heated cock slap against your wet folds. His hips automatically jerking a few times as his dick feels the soft wet heat your cunt is soaked in.
“You want my cock pet?” You look delirious and exhausted, sweat making your hair cling to your face as you briefly almost admit to being too warm now. Your both chilled and overheated as your sweat dries. Your blurry vision glances down to his throbbing length peaking at you from below, the heavy rod sliding back and forth through your slick and causing your pussy to twitch as he nudges your clit with it.
“S’not gonna fit…” his lip nearly splits on his smile, the cute admission only making him wanna shove it in you more to prove it will fit.
“You don’t think so?” His eyes look inhumanly blue from the cast of whatever show played on the tv now. One hand stays to keep your own pinned, while the other travels down your soft body to grip his cock and line himself up. “‘Cuz I think it will,” then he’s pushing in. His tip goes in easier as it gets crushed by your tight convulsing cunt, the rest engorged by blood feels painful as you cry, Dabi moaning as your gooey walls try to force him out. “I think,” one sharp thrust sinks a whole inch in, your eyes opening wide as tears spill freely, “I’ll get my entire cock in,” he pulls out only a little before shoving in a little more again. “And you know what else I think?” He’s leering down at you, manic grin frightening with the added shadows cast. You can feel his piercings, tugging and forcing themselves inside as he shifts and pushes, nearly stealing your ability to breathe.
“I think you’re gonna like it.” You can’t talk and he knows it, as his tip kisses your cervix, and then it’s bruising it as he shoves himself to entire way in, gasping in pleasure he sees himself fully sheathed inside you. His groin flush with your ass. Your walls so tight it feels impossible to pull out now. It doesn’t matter to Dabi though, as he grits his teeth and rocks forward and back, creating delicious friction on his cock. You’re left to sniffle and cry, pussy stretched painfully wide and aching deep inside from how his rough entrance.
“Poor little crybaby,” he chuckles, leaning closer to lick the tears off your cheeks as he finally gets himself wet enough to begin a slow pace inside you. “You’re so fuckin’ tight,” he growls, burying his face in your neck for a moment while he ruts into you, quick short thrusts working him close to his orgasm. His hand works between you, thumbing your clit as you cry and writhe beneath him, pussy clenching and relaxing as you’re forced to cum with something thick, hot, and painfully heavy inside your cunt.
“Shitttt,” his teeth sink into your neck, grunting as his balls draw tight and he pumps his boiling load deep into your womb, pushing even deeper as it twitched and spurts. Your legs locking and trembling as you see stars.
He stills for a moment, catching his breath quickly as he lifts up to look at your ruined appearance. Your face covered in tears as you pant, eyes nearly closed as struggle to stay awake. Your pussy even messier, slick and cum coating you both and the floor, a tiny bit of pink mixed too.
The thought that it was him who ruined your innocence, taken your first and last, has him hardening again inside you.
You can only whine, silently pleading for a break, but his answering smile is familiar and devious.
“C’mon pet, we’re just getting started tonight.” He chuckles, pulling his hips back before roughly slamming into you now. The shock woke you up fully, pussy protesting the rough treatment he sets as the room fills with salacious noises, your pussy squelching with each slap of his balls. The piercing on his tip hitting a new angle as he leans back and jerks your hips up off the floor.
“Oh!” Your vision goes black as you cum, and Dabi only laughs and fucks you harder as you pass out, loving the stupid expression on your fucked out face.
“That’s it pet, said I was gonna make you forget!” He’s emptying another load inside you not longer after, his own dick becoming a bit overstimulated but too engrossed fucking you to stop yet. With you half conscious, it’s easy to slip out and flip you to your stomach before sliding back in smoothly. “Fuck, you feel so good baby, taking my cock like you were made for it,” his words are slurred in his pleasure, his hips working against your ass as he drags his slick cock out of your pussy before working it back in. He’s even deeper like this, your belly and hips flat on the floor as he fucks you.
You can’t even remember why you didn’t want this anymore. The pleasure and warmth overwhelming and so perfect.
At least as he fills your pussy again, you don’t feel cold.
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furiousgoldfish · 1 year
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One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.
Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.
Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.
However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.
I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.
Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.
It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.
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xans-mindspace · 4 months
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 — ꨄ
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featuring the demon brothers !!! — gn reader — my headcanons !!! — red text in brackets = spoilers , dw it’s very clear what the spoilers are for !!! + it’s only like one minor spoiler — wc. 1.4k
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ꨄ — lucifer : quality time
lucifer loves to spend time with you. this man canonically has separation anxiety mind you !!! he’d send you a random text like “come to the music room” after a long day, or he’d come up to you while you were spending time with the other brothers & tell ask you to go to his room tonight. you rush to his room, expecting to have an important and urgent conversation as he’d made it sound, only to find lucifer sitting on his sofa, a glass of wine in his unusually bare hand and another glass in front of the sofa across from him, as a calming tune plays on the music player.
if you mention the way he had made his request sound so urgent he’d simply say: “what? aren’t i allowed to spend time with my little lamb anymore?” a cheeky smirk plastered on his face.
you would end up talking to him for hours, and the next thing you know, he had somehow convinced you that walking to your room is too much for your little human body to bear this late into the night, so you found yourself warm in the comfort of his bed and his arms as you drifted off to sleep.
ꨄ — mammon : gift giving
what convinced me that mammon’s love language is gift giving is that one devilgram story (mammon at the office) where he worked his ass off to save up for a matching watch for mc ໒꒰ྀི o̴̶̷̤ ︹ o̴̶̷̤ ꒱ྀིა !!! the fact that he didn’t ask money from others like he usually does (apparent from how much debt he canonically has), ‘cuz he actually wants the gift to come from an authentic place !!! it makes it so much more meaningful <///3 and he thinks that the hard work is all worth it if it’s for you !!!
the way the first thing he thinks to do when he receives a batch of money is to take mc out on a date :( he would absolutely spoil you with anything you have your eyes on. you’d be hanging out with him, casually whining about that one thing you really want as you scrolled mindlessly through your phone. the next day, he’ll show up on your door with the exact thing in his hands !!! he def loves surprising u.
ꨄ — leviathan : quality time
levi’s favorite thing is holing up in his room and playing video games. but you rivaled against these, threatening to take their spot on the number one thing that he loves. but why deny himself both?
levi loves it when you come to his room & play games with him for hours. he used to be so used to being alone in his room, mindlessly playing the next video game he had bought. but now, his room would feel so empty without your presence in it.
it’s stupid and cringe, but levi never really cared about that sort of stuff, but you’re his player 2 !!! back then, he’d read summaries of different games. they piqued his interest. he was about to add it in his cart, before he realized it was a game that can only be played by two people. he was left disappointed before deleting the game out of his cart. he basically beamed when he realized that he can play those strictly co-op games he had to drop now that he has you. he immediately jumped to akuzon and bought every single co-op game he wanted to play but was never able to. and adding a few new ones too ! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა
ꨄ — asmodeus : physical touch
this was a given. we all know that asmo’s love language is physical touch. he just can’t help it !!! whenever he sees you still sleepy in the morning, your hair so messy, he just has to give you headpats !!! it feels like a crime not to !!!
or whenever you two are out together. walking side by side. your hands would touch and i swear to you it would send electrical shocks from the tips of his fingers to his heart. yes, he seems to always have it together, but asmo’s good at performing, right? his heart would thump just from the littlest touches and he can’t help but to intertwine his fingers with yours, holding your hand in his, feeling it click! like a piece of a puzzle connecting. it might be dramatic, but asmo never denied his love for the dramatics, it’s just who he is.
or when you’re acting oh so obliviously and unintentionally cute. how can he not want to give you a tight hug? his feelings are so explosive that he feels like the closest thing that would do his feelings any justice is to let you feel it, literally. physically.
ꨄ — satan : words of affirmation / acts of service
oh satan the man that you are. satan is a textbook gentleman. he has a way with his words. very direct and shameless when it comes to his expression of his love for you. a romantic at heart, at least ever since he’d met you, that is. a romantic at his core, and he can’t think why he would ever hide that from you. it is your fault, after all.
he would flirt openly, and sappily, and he would not bat a single eye ! he’d write you letters, poems. if he were to gift you something, he’ll take the time to stick a sticky note on it, just a cute lil’ message on it ໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝꒱ྀི১ he’d give u books & when u open it, you’ll see them fully annotated. i’m talking written little stuff on the margins, color coded tabs / highlights & all !!!
ꨄ — beelzebub : acts of service
BEEL OUR SWEET BOY 💔 he will always ask you for what you want whenever he’s out in madame scream’s. he’d get u your favorite snack whenever he’s out in the convenient store.
if you get sick, or you’re having a bad day, he’d show up on your door with aaaall of your favorite food / snacks. he would put it neatly in a basket, and he’d be the person to make you a bowl of soup or even try to bake for you !!! anything to make you feel happy <3
he would absolutely give you amazing massages. beel is a big boy. & i trust he knows kinesiology & thus he’ll know what to do whenever your body is exhausted or isn’t really working with you. he’d be such a huge help, asking you just lay down so he could help you feel better. he’d even put a snack right beside you just in case! you’d feel ten times better after you feel his firm hands massaging your tense muscles. he’d note the way your body relaxes and melts onto his hands. seeing u feel good makes him v happy too. his big & rough hands, handling you so softly and cautiously. just a total teddy bear :(
ꨄ — belphegor : physical touch
people think asmo is clingy? wait ‘til they see how belphie clings to u whenever u two are alone. he will sleep on every part of your body (lol).
once, lucifer had insisted that belphegor actually try to study since finals are coming, and though his grades are not to be undermined, he should still at least study to be safe. belphie agrees, on the condition that you tutor him. so you do. you were studying together. the night was getting darker and you’d been studying for hours on end. you yourself was growing sleepy, so you couldn’t even blame belphie when his head started to sway and bump against your shoulder multiple times, before settling comfortably on it, nuzzling it beforehand.
it doesn’t even need to be a coincidence, he would just directly ask you to be his pillow (verbatim) because it’s the best way to sleep according to him. he would “borrow” your thighs, setting his head so cozily on your lap as if it was as comfortable as a pillow (or even more). or when you hung out with him and beel in their room. you ended up sleeping in his bed, you’ll be vast asleep when you felt something tickling your neck. sleepily opening your eyes, you’d find belphie’s head on your chest. and if you chose to sleep in beel’s bed? oh, he’d climb right up and slither his arms around your waist without saying a word. it was a little cramped, but how could you deny such an adorable gesture? the next day you wake up with his arms still right where it was when you had fallen asleep. his mouth snoring softly as his warm breath fans and tickles the back of your neck.
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a/n: ahhh i finished writing this at 3 am 😭😭😭 it’s storming really hard outside and my eyes are starting to hurt but it was rlly fun to finally write again :-) i hate writing / reading ooc characters so i hope i did your faves justice !!! 😭🙏🏼
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too-much-tma-stuff · 6 days
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Finally Getting Help (pt 13)
Masterpost
Danny was holding Jason’s hand so tight he felt like his fingers were creaking but Jason wasn’t about to say anything. They were waiting in the doctor's office for Danny’s first ultrasound and Jason was accompanying him as promised, if Danny needed to squeeze his hand that was what Danny needed to do then so be it, it was better the bolting, which it looked like he was considering. Leslie didn’t usually make people wait long but when she had an emergency she had an emergency, it didn’t matter that Bruce funded her clinic, and was sitting awkwardly in one corner, they could wait.
It had been decided that as Danny’s guardian and maybe boyfriend? Bruce and Jason would be the ones to go in with him, with Danny’s agreement of course. Jazz and Dick had both wanted to come too but they didn’t want to crowd the room or overwhelm Danny so it was decided they would stay close by but not come In. Just then they were waiting together at a cafe across the road in case they were needed.
“Alright, I’m sorry to keep you both waiting but you know how Gotham is,” Leslie said a little grim-faced and still stripping off bloody gloves as she walked into their room and tossed them into the trash can. “So, Danny right,” Danny nodded. “Will you come with me into a private room for your examination?” She asked, because of course she did, the phrasing too was carefully worded to not put him on the spot so if Danny was feeling at all threatened or uncomfortable about Jason and Bruce being there he wouldn’t be blamed for following her. 
“You don’t have to,” She added quickly when Danny looked panicked and clung to Jason so tight Jason couldn’t help wincing. “We can move forward with the appointment if them being here makes you more comfortable?” 
Danny nodded quickly so she nodded as well and sat down at her desk, opening a file on her computer. “So, you’re here for an ultrasound right?” She glanced over and Danny nodded again, he seemed to be feeling really shy, Jason had never seen him so nervous, Bruce looked worried. “But it says here you haven’t had a check up in years so would you mind if we do a general exam first? I would like to make sure that You are healthy before we move on to the babies.”
“Yes that’s fine, but you know I’m not fully human right?” Danny asked, she paused for barely a moment. 
“I was told you had some differences,” she confirmed gingerly. “What should I expect?”
“Well, my heart rate is naturally slower than it used to be, and my body temperature is lower. Like I get to ‘healthy human’ temperatures when I have a bad fever. I don’t know what else has changed, honestly. I’ve been avoiding the doctor ever since my accident because I knew how my parents would react,” he said sounding tired and resigned.
“Well then we’ll take today as a paceline and monitor changes. If you’re feeling well today?” She suggested, she probably would have liked to get a baseline before Danny was pregnant but obviously that was impossible. 
“Ya that’s fine, my heartrate is probably a bit fast because I’m nervous but I’m probably healthier then I’ve been in a while. I haven’t been getting into fights and I’ve been eating regularly after all!”
“Alright. I understand but there’s no need to be nervous. This is a safe environment, I won’t do anything that’s not medically necessary.”
“I know, if Bruce and Jason didn’t speak so highly of you I wouldn’t be here. They don’t seem to see eye to eye on much so if they both trust and like you you must be good,” Danny said with a little smile though he was still tense and pale. That anxiety wasn’t going anywhere fast. In the corner Brace gave a sort of strangled cough that had Jason glaring at him even though he didn’t really know what it meant.
“Alright, then let’s get started,” She said before she started Danny’s check-up, all of the normal things a doctor would do if a bit more thorough. Checking eyes, mouth, ears, heart and lungs, and reflexes, circulation and blood pressure. His heartbeat was slow and his blood pressure was low but Danny thought that was probably normal for him? She gave an unconvinced hum. “We’ll have weekly check ups and check it again then. If it’s sustained and doesn’t affect you then we can say it’s normal for you.” She agreed. 
“Alright, well based on the information you’ve told me I think we’ve established a baseline and you’re healthy. Are you ready for your ultrasound?” She asked and Danny took a deep breath, Jason, still standing next to Danny, squeezed his hand gently.
“Ya, as ready as I’ll ever be,” Danny agreed. 
“Thank you, just lay back and pull up your shirt please,” Dr. Leslie requested and Danny did as she’d asked as she pulled up the little monitor and set things up. In the background Bruce shifted so he could see the screen better. “There won’t be much to see,” Leslie warned, shooting Bruce a look as she applied the ultrasound gel. “It’s still too early.”
She put on a fresh pair of gloves and grabbed the wand, “Alright, let's have a look.” She said, pressing it carefully against Danny’s stomach. 
Danny had let go of Jason’s hand while he lay down but now he grabbed around for Jason again, without looking away from the screen now showing inside his abdomen. Jason stepped closer and grabbed Danny’s hand, looking at his face rather than anything else, monitoring for signs the trepidation there might be getting to be too much. He knew Danny was nervous, but they didn’t want this to progress into a panic attack. 
“There they are. Oh! Two, twins. You’re further along than I expected, 10 weeks by the looks of it?” She asked glancing at Danny who nodded. 
“Ya, I’ve only been carrying them for 6 but they’re test tube babies,” he confirmed, his eyes fixed on the screen. 
“Ah,” She sounded, nodding her understanding. “The little round things below their hearts are odd. Do they have two hearts? No, those ones aren’t beating…”
“Those are their cores,” Danny murmured before it seemed to hit him and he looked at Jason, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh my god I AM actually pregnant, it’s not just the cores, I’m pregnant, oh my god I’m pregnant,” he was starting to hyperventilate. 
Dr. Leslie pulled back and Danny practically threw himself into Jason’s arm who held him tight as Danny hid against his chest and trembled. “Do you want us to call Jazz?” Jason offered softly as he held Danny and let him cry.
“No don’t go,” Danny hiccuped against Jason’s chest. 
“I’ll call Jazz,” Bruce added, of course. He would want to help, he did care, but he never had any actual idea how to help. The emotionally unavailable bastard. 
“Do you want me to leave?” Dr. Leslie asked gently. “I would like to have a better look at the twins to check on their development but if you need time I can come back later, or even another day.”
“Just-just give me a minute, please,” Danny sniffled as Jason rubbed his back.
“Of course. I know this is overwhelming,” Leslie said gently. 
Jazz barged into the room and immediately hugged Danny a well, sandwiched safely between her and Jason. “Scruff him, it’ll help,” she told Jason, who nodded and squeezed the back of Danny’s neck. 
He shuddered and then started to relax between the two of them, basically letting the two taller, and trusted, people hold him up. His sobs turned into sniffles and then a few deep breaths. “Okay, okay I think I’m ready. I want to know that they’re okay too. I know their cores are developing well but if they have human bodies, we need to make sure those are healthy too right?” 
“Right. Do you want me to stay, or do you want Bruce to come back in?” Jazz asked gently. 
“No, you and Jason stay please,” Danny said softly. He had thought it was right for Bruce to come in as his guardian, but it was Jazz who had really been looking after him for years. “There’s not much to see right now, just little blobs. We’ll tell him how it goes.”
Danny took another breath and then squirmed out of both of their arms and went to lay back on the table, pulling up his shirt again. Jason stood next to the examination table, taking Danny’s hand again, Jazz went and sat on the table by Danny’s head and stroked his hair while Dr. Leslie applied fresh jelly to his stomach since it had been worn off during his panic attack. Jason might have to change his shirt after this.
“Alright, let’s have another look shall we?” She said with a warm smile as she pressed the wand against his stomach again. She found the babies again fairly easily. “They seem to be sticking pretty close together,” She said with a little smile. “They’re active little things! It’s far too early to tell anything else about them but from what you’ve told me they seem to be on track and developing properly,” She said, pulling back and offering Danny a cloth to clean the gel off his stomach.
“Do you mind if we call Bruce back in? As your guardian I’d like him to be here for you treatment plan?” She asked.
“Sure, makes sense,” Danny agreed with a nod. 
She nodded back and looked at Jazz, who nodded as well and ducked out to get Bruce. “While we’re mostly alone I want to know, do you know all your options Danny? You know you don’t have to carry them. They’re just embryos right now, not even conscious. Your health and safety comes first,” Dr. Leslie told him gently. She knew Jason was firmly pro-choice.
“No, I know,” Danny said with a little smile and a nod, looking down at his stomach and gently caressing it. “I know I don’t Have to do this. But I do want them. I’m already attached to them, you know?” He said looking up at her, worried that she would judge him. He hoped he was making the right choice, that he wasn’t ruining his life at 16 or something. Fuck he could be on that trashy tv show! 
“I understand,” She assured, no hint of judgment on her face. Of course not, if she could treat rogues without judgment she sure as hell wasn’t going to judge a teen parent. She glanced up as the door opened again and Bruce and Jazz entered. “Right,” Leslie said, sitting down at her computer and starting to type. “You’re still a little malnourished so I’d like to get you taking prenatal vitamins immediately,” she said, glancing up to see Danny nod. “With your unique condition I’d like to see you more often than usual, weekly visits would be best for now. Once we’re sure you and the babies are okay we can go down to every other week.”
“I don’t think we need to do that,” Danny said, shifting nervously. “I mean you say the human side is looking good, and my ghost doctor says they’re developing well on that side, if slower than usual. I don’t need to come in every week,” He said looking hopeful. 
She hesitated for a moment, organizing her thoughts and considering his words. “Even so, there’s clearly some bleed over that makes it hard to tell how healthy you are. I would feel better if you came weekly, at least for the first month so we can establish a true baseline.” 
“Alright,” Danny said, drooping again, looking back at Bruce. “Can you make the appointment? I want to go home.”
“Sure Danny,” Bruce agreed, pulling out his planner to check their schedule. 
“I’ll take you back to the manor,” Jason assured, using his grip on Danny’s hand to help him up. 
“I’ll go back to the cafe with Dick, we were having a good conversation, I wouldn’t mind continuing it,” She said, giving Danny a smile. “Unless you want me to come?”
“No, that’s alright. Have fun Jazz,” Danny said, leaning against Jason and letting him usher Danny out of the clinic. Jazz waved as she crossed to the cafe where Dick was waiting, looking worried till he noticed them, then he smiled and waved. Jazz waved back and jogged across, about to tell Dick all about the twins no doubt. 
Jason led Danny to his bike, and got on first, pulling Danny onto the seat behind him. Danny wrapped his arms around Jason and pressed against his back, half hiding from the world. Jason didn’t try to talk to him, he needed time to process. He would talk when he was ready to.
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shootingmorningstar · 1 month
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[slides on in] well hello there fellow lucifer fanatic
could i request some hcs with luci and an indecisive reader? gn and established relationship!! ex: he asks what they want for dinner and they panic trying to pick something because they feel like they need to decide right then and there or they’ll annoy him.
please and thank you! 🫶
anon, you're just like me fr. i also can never make up my mind and love lucifer. i'd be happy to write this for you .ᐟ
thank you for my first request, by the way ~ .ᐟ now to get to the good part.
LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR X GN! INDECISIVE READER
Look at this man. This is the man who has piles upon piles of rubber ducks in his workshop. You cannot tell me Lucifer isn't also indecisive, at least when it comes to less serious things.
Seriously. You expect me to believe he hasn't looked at his own work and went 'nope, looks bad. starting over.' .ᐣ
With that being said, I think he would find it an incredibly endearing trait in you. The concentrated face you make when you're stuck between two options .ᐣ Absolutely adorable.
That is, until the unsure and conflicted look on your face morphs into one telling of your anxiety and worry.
Now, I hope you'll excuse the bird pun, but he is absolutely a mother hen type.
The second he sees even a hint of panic on your face .ᐣ He's immediately shifting all of his focus on you -- if it hadn't been already.
He's rushing over to you without you having to so much as ask -- his beloved partner, distressed .ᐣ No matter the reason, that won't do. He won't rest until he sees you smiling again.
Wrapping his arms around you in a hug, likely even his wings, too. He's suffered so many panic attacks before, he knows just how miserable they are.
He wishes you had come into his life earlier so you could of comforted him through the worst of his.
Even if your panic hasn't dissolved into a full blown attack, he is there. His touch is grounding, it helps you calm down and come back to reality.
When your heart's stopped racing and you look as if you're able to talk about it, he'll ask you just what has you so distressed.
Don't even bother trying to lie to him. He can tell when someone's hiding their feelings.
He won't force you to tell him, though. He just wants to know what went wrong so he can help prevent it from happening again.
If you decide to share your worries with him, he wouldn't belittle you in the slightest. Is it time you need .ᐣ You two have all the time in the world.
Would you rather he choose .ᐣ Because he wouldn't mind.
Or if it's something more serious, he offers to sit down with you and discuss the pros and cons of each -- maybe you two can come up with a decision together .ᐣ
His face sort of falls if you decide to tell him part of the reasoning behind your anxiety is a fear that you'll end up annoying him. Did he do something to make you think he'd judge you .ᐣ
Or maybe he got short with you .ᐣ He's so apologetic. He wants you to feel like you can share anything and everything with him.
He won't let himself start feeling overwhelmed with guilt, though. This moment is about you and the reassurance you need, not his guilt issues.
Explain to him that you know he'd never do such a thing and that it's just an irrational thought coming from worry and he's taking your face into his hands, telling you that he would never, ever think less of you, much less get upset over something as silly as struggling to make a choice.
Like he said earlier, let him help you choose. You two are stronger together and this is no exception.
He's always soft to you, but count on him being even more so than usual for the rest of the night. You two can watch your favorite show or movie -- or whatever you'd like to do to destress. ♡
first request finished ~ .ᐟ how'd I do .ᐣ i'd love to hear your thoughts. feedback fuels my writing muse more than anything else .ᐟ
i'm really hoping this formats correctly, i'm used to using the tumblr app && currently stuck on laptop </3
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icallhimjoey · 1 month
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The Boy Is Mine (icallhimjoey's edition)
♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 
Summary: Joe has work and cancels plans but, you know what, you can just come over and help him out, can’t you? It's nerve-racking and embarrassing but, ok fine, you can come over and help him. CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, anxiety, we make fun of joe because he’s a dork, full fluff
Author’s note: i had fomo for @carolmunson’s the boy is mine writing exercise, so i just went ahead and gave it my own rpf spin. pls go and read all the other wonderful editions here!
Wordcount: 1.8K
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“Okay, so, to set the scene,” Joe was being exceptionally theatrical tonight. He’d sat you down on the sofa and used the floorspace on the other side of the coffee table as his stage. It was all big arm gestures, and exaggerated faces, and big steps, and this was meant to be serious business.
It wasn’t.
You could tell Joe was a little nervous, which in turn made you a little nervous too.
You’ve had to suppress a smile ever since you walked in and couldn’t seem to stop giggling at things that usually wouldn’t even remotely tickle you, big ball of nerves.
“We’re in a trailer. Think, a big holiday park. Sort of dreary, it all looks the same, just, caravan after caravan after cara–”
“You’re talking to me like I’ve never been on holiday before.”
“Well for all I know you haven’t, Miss Workaholic. I’ve never seen you put down your work–”
You shut him up with a hit of a throw pillow to his face. Joe didn’t even flinch, just let it hit him square in the face and drop to the floor before giving you a blank stare for a second, all unimpressed.
Made you laugh. Again.
“Okay. So. Trailer park.” Joe made big eyes at you like a teacher would, directing you back to the task at hand. To why you were even there in the first place.
“Trailer park.” you repeated, sitting up a little, being a good student.
Joe frowned as his eyes had to focus on the script he was holding, turning a page and then flicking it back.
“Yes. Trailer park.” Joe confirmed absentmindedly.
He took another moment to seemingly find what he was looking for, eyes scanning before he reached up to pull his glasses from his hair. You sat pretty and waited.
Everything about the situation was objectively hilarious.
Joe had had to cancel on plans he’d made with you because of some changes in his schedule and now he had to learn lines at the speed of light meaning he couldn’t take you out for a drink. You didn’t mind – yes you did – and you’d casually said you could come over anyway. Help him out. Read lines with him.
“You’d do that?” He’d asked, carefully hopeful.
“Yea course!”
“And you’d like that?”
“As much as hanging out with you in general is a massive chore,” you’d joked. “It totally beats sitting at home by myself all night.”
And so you’d been invited over.
And now, Joe was nervous. He had just the one script, and handing it over to you meant that you’d see the little notes he’d taken. The scribbles and the arrows that pointed to more little notes, and for some parts even little sad or happy smiley faces. It would reveal a bunch of uncool shit about himself, not to mention the fact that Joe was breaking rules. None of this was meant for your eyes.
“Traiiii...” Joe was having a hard time finding what he was looking for and you started to grow impatient.
“I think we’ve got the location down.” you laughed, then suddenly your face dropped and turned faux serious. “Or, sorry, is this part of it? Of how you learn? Is that why it takes you fucking ages to–” you had to duck to the side as Joe threw the pillow you’d launched at his face earlier right back at you.
“If you don’t stop, we’re going to have a problem.”
Joe handed you the script, pointed from where you were going to read lines together, and then picked up a small notebook from the table.
He cleared his throat, gestured with a hand that meant, calm down, and then started the scene.
You read from the page, and Joe tried to do the scene from memory as much as he could, only occasionally glancing at look at his notes.
It took a few lines for you to actually calm down. To feel the jitters inside of your body slip away.
Joe was blushing still, though.
He’d never done this with you before, and he definitely felt silly, playing pretend with a pretty girl in his living room. But when you kind of started getting into it, found focus and fed him little words when he got stuck, it turned into actual acting.
You stayed seated on his sofa, eyes on the page, and Joe was all over the place. Pacing, using wild arms, facial expressions all over, repeating lines in different ways when they didn’t feel quite right after saying them the first time and... this was actually kind of fun.
And then props were introduced, but all wrong.
Joe needed to make a call, the script said, and he just grabbed the remote control of the TV as his pretend phone.
You stiffled a laugh, just about.
Then up next, he grabbed a nice crystal wine glass, held it out to you and it became more and more difficult to keep your giggles inside as you read ahead at what he was about to say.
“I ran out of nice cups, is this okay?”
You pretended you were handed something atrocious. Or, well, you tried to, at least. It was becoming very apparent who was the real actor in the room. When the script called for a bite of cake, something that would leave vanilla frosting on his face, Joe just perfectly mimed the action, and you were shocked at how you could see it.
There was nothing there.
But there was, though.
Wild.
Joe barely had to look at his own little notebook the longer you went, yet your stumbling and stuttering through lines increased as you read them aloud. It slowly shifted the anxiety from Joe over to you, and you didn’t like it one bit.
It felt silly, because Joe’s growing confidence didn’t have to mean that yours slowly withered, but, that was exactly what happened.
Joe noticed and in a bid to make you relax, he moved around the coffee table before sitting down on top of it, right in front of you.
“Here, take it back a little,” Joe folded a page back in the script that you were still holding, and pointed, his voice soft and gentle. “From here again.”
Joe had pointed at one of his own lines, so you kind of waited for him to start. But then he stayed silent, and when you flicked your eyes up at him, he was smiling.
“You’re holding the script. You lead.”
Oh. Yea, okay.
You went through the same bit of a scene again, this time with your knees touching his. Joe spoke in a much calmer voice, much lower this time around. The vibe shifted and now, it had you blushing.
Fucking adorable, Joe thought.
It made him want to grab hold of your face as you read. Press kisses all over your cheeks. The bridge of your nose. Your eyes.
There was not a chance in hell that Joe was going to actually get all his work done tonight, but if he was being honest, you’d already managed to do more than he’d expected beforehand.
You fucked up a line and went, “Wait, no... jesus,” and took a second to start over. When it was Joe’s turn to speak, he stayed silent again, and it made you look up at him, only to see him stare at you with the most lovesick grin you’d ever seen.
Disgusting. How dared he.
“Stop looking at me like that.” You knocked one of his knees with yours.
“I’m not looking at you like anything.” Joe said, not changing a single thing about the way he was staring at you.
You narrowed your eyes at him and had to try really hard to hide a smile.
“Are you... are you getting off on me not being very good at this?”
Joe laughed, said, “No, you’re amazing actually.” before he leant in a little, clearly going in for a kiss.
It had you moving back.
“Um...” you held a hand up before you jokingly scanned the page in front of you. Turned it to check the next one too. “There’s no kissing in this scene.”
“Um...” Joe copied you, and was quick to take the script from your hands, turning it around so he could get a look himself. “Yea there is, actually. Look.” Joe pointed at a random line, and before you could even get a proper look, he’d already flung it to the side and lurched forward to get his lips on yours.
You shrieked into it, trying to kiss Joe back just as much as you were trying to push him away.
Joe laughed, and so did you, and you were just pressing smiles together for a second, giggling right into Joe’s cackles. He had to hold your face in both of his hands to keep you close.
“Maybe,” you murmured around kisses, “This wasn’t the best idea. I’m clearly not helping.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. That’s not even true.”
Joe kissed you harder.
“Liar.”
“I’m not a liar.” Joe sat back and made a face. Looked like a real douchebag as he scrunched his eyebrows together and smirked. “I’m an actor.”
You laughed as Joe reached to pick up the script he’d thrown to the other side of the sofa. Folded the pages back and handed it back over to you.
“Okay. So.” he got up, clapped his hands together and walked back over to his spot in front of the TV, notebook now discarded on the sofa. He was going to try without it. “We’re in a trailer.”
You smiled at him as you watched him try his best to get back into the zone.
“Trailerpark.” you confirmed, trying your best to match Joe’s vibe.
Serious business.
You frowned as you started again, but you were quickly stopped.
“Wait, sorry. Wait. Just, I’ve got to... hang on,” Joe planted a knee onto the coffee table and leant all the way forward. His hands found both your knees and he moved until he got to steal one last quick kiss.
Okay, two.
Three.
Quick, a fourth. Maybe a fifth.
“Joe,” you giggled.
“What?” a sixth.
“I’m here to help you work!”
“Well, then,” seven. “Stop being so fucking cute!”
Joe got a few more in. An eight, ninth and a tenth, before he scrambled back up onto his feet.
Joe took a second to smile at you before he cleared his throat. “Right. Trailerpark.”
You smiled right back.
“Trailerpark.” the end
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The Taglisted
@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo
taglist currently full, sorry
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spatialwave · 26 days
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i am LOVING your angus tully content 💕 would you please write an angus tully x reader where the reader meets angus in boston while they’re ice skating and then they get to know each other as they explore the city, sort of ‘before sunrise’ style and hunham gives them the space to do so? if you don’t like this idea though that’s totally okay!! have a lovely day regardless :)
𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫
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pairing: angus tully x fem!reader word count: 4k notes: reader is very nervous & dorky! thank u for sending 🤎
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the chilly december air stung your cheeks, leaving them reddened and sore, but that didn’t stop you from braving the weather and heading to the public skating rink. your friends had cancelled on you last minute, one of them falling sick with a nasty cold and the other deciding that her boyfriend was more important than a night with you during the festivities that boston had to offer. you couldn't be angry at her, though, you were a hopeless romantic at heart and would do the same if you had a boyfriend. you were happy that your best friend found someone so perfect for her, you dreamed of finding him too—the perfect boy.
though, you usually just giggled in your bed at night when you imagined yourself spending the rest of your life with david cassidy. that was much easier than finding real love.
so, alone you were as you willed your way ahead through the boston streets where your father had dropped you off. you promised yourself you'd start getting out of your nervous shell and what better way to test it than being alone at a skating rink? especially when you were notoriously clumsy and horrendous at skating.
if you could do this, you could do anything.
as you approached the skating rink you felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety flooding you. there were a lot of people, too many people, a lot of friends giggling with each other, children learning how to skate with their parents and partners holding hands as they stared into each other's eyes lovingly. you sorely missed your friends, but you shoved that thought as deeply into your consciousness as you could because you promised yourself you wouldn't wallow in your loneliness.
and you were here, weren’t you? successfully making do without them. all you needed to do was get the skates on and make your way onto the ice—that’s all. getting here was half the battle.
comfort warmed you as you fit yourself into the hand-me-down skates your older sister had given you. you tried so hard not to think about the negatives because even if you slipped and fell, it’s not like anyone here knew you. there was not a single person on the rink that looked even the slightest bit familiar and you thanked god you lived in a busy city.
of course, you were unsuccessful in ridding those thoughts because all you could think about was that there was a likely chance you could embarrass yourself in front of a cute boy. you were too boy-crazy for your own good, your mother blamed david cassidy for it.
as you let out a shaky exhale, you darted your eyes around the exterior of the rink as you shrugged off your bag and held your winter boots in your hand. you had ran into your first problem of the evening; there was no one to watch your belongings.
that’s when you noticed an older man just to the left of you, smoking out of a pipe and watching the rink, smiling to himself. he seemed friendly enough, reminding you a lot of your grandpa. there was no better person to watch your things!
“excuse me sir,” you said to him, smiling as you approached him cautiously, “is it alright if i leave my things here next to you? i’m not skating for long… i just don’t want to take them onto the rink with me.”
the man hadn’t realized you were talking to him at first as he pulled the pipe out of his mouth and looked between you and someone on the skating rink. he smacked his lips together a few times in thought, “okay. sure, i don’t mind.” he mumbled, though you could tell that he minded.
he was grumpier than you pegged him to be.
“thank you so much! i won’t be long!” you smiled, happy that you had some form of success, but again you had to ward off the image in your head of him running off with your things. at least he’d only have stolen a woman’s snow boots and three dollars from your wallet.
as you waddled away, you hadn’t noticed that a boy on the rink had skated up to the older man, you were much too focused on not toppling over. your ankles were already wobbling back and forth as you navigated through the snow, unaware of the set of eyes that lingered on you with each step you took.
“you got this,” you breathed to yourself as you made it to the entrance, taking a long and deep breath that caught in your throat. you froze in your spot, feeling frigid as you watched the tens of people skating along the rink so seemingly expert in their ways.
a woman cleared her throat behind you and you jolted up, looking over your shoulder and seeing a mother and her two children waiting to step into the rink, “sorry!” you squealed as you hurried onto the ice and clung to the railing for dear life.
the sounds of the young kids snickering made your cheeks burn red, so you kept your eyes downward and stared at your mitten-covered hands as they gripped onto the rail. then you focused on your feet, slowly moving them back and forth on the ice as you got used to the feeling of the skates gliding across the frozen surface.
with a triumphant huff, you straightened up and slowly started to skate with your hand keeping balance on the edge, much like a learning child. at least they usually had a helper.
you had focused on this for a bit, getting into the swing of things. you looked around with a content smile, slowly moving and breathing in the crisp air as you focused on the sounds of laughter. the christmas spirit was high and you were happier than ever to be experiencing this alone, you couldn’t wait to go home and gush to your sister about your first solo adventure as a young woman.
satisfaction wasn’t fully met, however. you needed to challenge yourself further before calling it a night.
carefully, you let your hand off of the rail and moved carefully away from the edge. your eyes darted around your immediate surroundings, making sure you had enough of a clearing to start skating without bumping into anyone. a big smile grew on your face, you were by no means quick, but at least you were moving!
you focused your eyes back down on your feet, watching closely as you moved one in front of the other with intention. you were getting the hang of it, muscle memory coming back from when you skated as a kid. with your attention far from the outside world, you didn’t notice a duo of young girls coming right for you—too busy laughing amongst each other to notice you drifting in front of them.
one of the girls bumped hard into your shoulder and yelped out a sincere ‘sorry’ as you lost your balance on your feet. you almost kept yourself upright, but you quickly fell back.
you expected to crash down onto the ice with a hard thump, but two arms caught you, hooking underneath your armpits and hoisting you back upright onto your skates. you didn’t have the means to turn around all that quickly, but the person who saved you seemed to realize that, so he skated in front of you and turned to look at you. he made it seem so easy to skate backward.
“you okay?” he asked, but you hardly heard the words because you were so fascinated with how beautiful he was. he had the biggest brown eyes you’d ever seen and a head full of wild curls that he obviously tried to tame. he was also taller than you, making you feel so small under his gaze, but not threatening in the slightest. all you could do was smile at him like a dork.
your knight in shining armour.
a few moments pass and the realization hit that you had been completely silent, “thank you!” you blurted out, your eyes widening in horror because of how you were staring at him like a goddamned fool, "i'm not very good at this."
"you were doing fine until you got bulldozed over," the boy smiled, unabashedly looking you up and down. he cleared his throat and held out two of his gloved hands, "hang on."
you obeyed with no hesitation, your arms extending so you could take his gloved hands in your own. you felt your mouth go dry and you had to force your hands to stop shaking. you were always so much more anxious around boys.
"oh, god," you groaned in anticipation as he started skating backward, pulling you along and forcing you to focus on keeping balance, "you really don't have to spend your time here teaching me how to skate." you looked up at him, feeling like a burden.
"i know," he replied, grinning at you as he kept pulling you along the ice, his gaze only breaking to make sure he wasn't about to skate back into anyone. those brown eyes fell back on you, watching you with a soft gaze as you kept moving with one foot gliding in front of the other, "i'm angus."
"hi, angus," you smiled, chewing on the inside of your lip after you returned the introduction. you could feel your cheeks blushing. you looked down and at your feet again, but your lack of focus got the best of you, "ah, shit!"
just as you lost your footing and balance, nearly flying forward, angus wrapped an arm around you and laughed aloud, pulling you against him so you couldn't tip over. you could've stayed like that forever, nuzzled against this boy's chest and forgetting about the outside world.
"you're clumsy," he teased, flickering his gaze down at you as he led you both to the railing for a rest.
"you only just noticed?" you retorted playfully as you leaned against the support, letting yourself exhale in relief once you could rest the entirety of your weight against it. shyly, you looked back over to angus after a few beats of silence, "you're not here with anyone else?"
angus scrunched his nose in response, shrugging, "it's a long story."
"i like stories," you mused, not ready to let this end. whatever this was.
a breathy laugh came from him as he glanced away to look at something, you hadn't been able to follow his gaze before he was looking at you again. there was something about him that kept your attention, likely the fact that he genuinely seemed to enjoy your presence. it made you giddy and your stomach swirled with butterflies.
"well, i came here with my history teacher," he said, almost sheepishly. you looked at him with slightly furrowed brows, uncertain where this would be going, "i go to a boarding school out of town, north of here. i, uh, didn't get to spend christmas with my family and so i've been stuck at school with him as my chaperone. guess i'm good at convincing people to take me places," he chuckled, his gaze looking anywhere but at you.
"i don't think i would've guessed that story in a million years," you giggled, a smile reaching your eyes as you looked over angus' face, "sorry about your family, though. must be hard around the holidays."
"it's fine," he quipped quickly, you figured it best to not bring up his family anymore.
you fell silent for a bit, thinning your lips as you looked around and focused on your surroundings to pass the time and try to ignore the awkward silence. you watched a group of kids skating together, playfully shoving each other and laughing when one of them wiped out.
"did you want to skate again?" angus' voice broke the silence and you met his eyes. with a small nod, he smiled and gave you his hands again.
the two of you had spent another twenty minutes on the skating rink, laughing together as he taught you how to keep yourself upright. you were happy to report that you'd only fallen on your ass twice, and even when he laughed at you, you felt your heart soaring.
there must've been some good karma you stored up over the year because you weren't sure why you were blessed to run into angus on a night like this. he was cute, funny and just as awkward as you were.
once you two were tired and ready to hang the skates up, you ventured out of the rink and stood at the exit. you had to catch your breath after laughing over some joke angus had made about his time at barton, something stupid that wouldn't have made you laugh in another other situation. angus was just... nice. funny, but in an endearingly dorky way.
as you bent down to untie your skates, you straightened up with a panicked look on your face. "my stuff!" you said, looking up at angus and then around the exterior of the rink, trying to spot the man you'd left your things with. that's where the bad karma came in, leaving you with nothing.
"are you looking for these?" a third voice spoke, your eyes landing on the pipe-smoking man that angus seemed to recognize. you put the pieces together.
"yes! thank you so much!" you smiled as you took the boots from him and your bag, quickly changing into the shoes that allowed you to stand steady. you sighed softly with a smile and looked between the two men, "i, uh, thank you again, sir, for keeping an eye on my things. and thanks, angus, i'm sure by next winter i'll be an olympic figure skater," you smiled, not quite ready to leave without spending more time with the boy, but you weren't sure you'd have the choice.
as luck would have it, though, his teacher, mr. hunham, seemed to have a soft spot for the boy.
"mr. tully, i'm calling it an evening and will be heading to the hotel room, i'm rather tired this evening," the older man explained. you could see the pleading look on angus's face, "i expect to see you there within a few hours or lest you deal with multiple detentions when we're back at barton," he continued with a satisfied look on his face when angus smile, "keep an eye on him for me." he turned to you, letting out a huffy sigh as he looked between the two of you once more before turning on his heels and leaving.
angus was speechless.
"he seems like a nice man," you said in awe as you watched him, growing nervous for other reasons now.
"trust me. he's usually not," angus replied, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat as he looked down at you, "you look cold. i think i saw i coffee shop near here. they probably have hot chocolate or something."
"okay," you smiled, forcing yourself not to let your boy-crazy giddiness get the best of you again.
as you two ventured away from the skating rink, you found yourself feeling more comfortable with each passing second and talking about yourself like an open book. you spoke about everything and nothing, his favourite band was pink floyd and he was currently halfway through reading the novel dune. you shared your own love for the partridge family show, though, you kept your lips tight about your obsession with david cassidy.
you made a mental note to rip the poster of david off your wall if something were to ever come out of this night with you and angus, like hell he'd ever be in your room.
"what do you like so much about boston?" you asked angus as you two walked through one of the downtown streets in boston, your mittens shoved in your pocket as your hands cupped around the hot chocolate you sipped on. the heat emanated from the paper cup and warmed your hands. you two had been walking and talking for a while now and your drink was half-empty.
"you like long-winded answers, don't you?" angus said playfully, bumping himself against your side as you walked together. it caused a laugh to bubble up from you, your cheeks turning red at the closeness.
"what's so long about this answer?" you wondered aloud, glancing up at him.
"my dad is here," he said after taking a moment to think over his words, "he's uh, in the sanitorium," he murmured, not quite meeting your gaze, "not doing well mentally."
"you don't have to say anymore," you urged him, regretful that you asked the question in the first place.
"it's fine, i like you. you're not... judging me." angus admitted, flickering his eyes to you and smiling.
oh, god. that smile made your stomach do flips.
"why would i judge you?" you asked rhetorically, "you've been nothing but kind to me tonight. you didn't even know me and you caught me before i fell on my ass, i mean, that's the most any guy has ever done for me... and you bought me hot chocolate!" you were animated in your words as you spoke, not noticing how you lit up angus' facial expressions.
"like i said, it's because i like you." his lips twitched into a smile before he lifted his cup and downed the rest of his drink. you followed in suit, though, mostly to cover the way you had a smile stuck on your face like a lovesick puppy.
you two found an outdoor garbage bin and tossed your empty cups in, standing on a corner of the street that was near the courtyard with the skating rink. it was quiet there now, only then noticing how late it had gotten.
"so, what's your story?" angus interrupted your thoughts as he kept walking, you needing to take a few quick steps to meet his pace as he led you to a bench to sit down on. the perfect spot to watch the christmas lights flicker around the rink and people watch the last remaining people who were skating.
"it's hardly a story," you laughed, fidgeting with your fingers as you looked up to the night sky, the stars hidden because of the city lights, "i'm just crawling my way to graduation so i can get out of my parent's house and go to college," you look over at him, "are you graduating, too?"
he shook his head, "i was expelled a few times," he admitted with an amused look on his face, "should be graduating, but stuck as a junior because of my atrocious behaviour," he teased with a click of his tongue.
"expelled?" you laughed, "wow, i didn't expect such a gentleman like you to be so fond of troublemaking."
that got a laugh out of him, the smile reaching his eyes as he turned ever-so-slightly to better look at you while you two sat together, "yep, i'm the absolute worst. though, i plead my case as i've been wrongly accused of blowing up a toilet once when it was obviously not true."
"uh-huh," you smirked, "are you certain about the wrongly accused part?" you snorted a laugh.
the night was perfect. the two of you sharing so many laughs that your cheeks were hurting and you were beginning to feel like you knew angus for years and this was simply a reunion of friends. you knew at some point it would end, but you didn't want to think about it. not yet, it was too painful of a thought.
your laughter settled and you couldn't break your gaze from angus, the silence looming, but not overwhelming. as you admired him, you caught the way his brown eyes flickered down to your lips and you inhaled sharply, the breath catching.
"i, uh—can i kiss you?" his words were gentle, but they rang through your ears loudly, causing chaos and mayhem that left you feeling like a nervous wreck, "unless i'm reading this wrong."
you parted your lips to speak but nothing came out. all you could do was look down at his lips and nod, hoping that your movements spoke volumes. thankfully, they did.
angus leaned forward, hesitating for a second, but if you could will your way forward to adventuring boston alone, then you could sure as hell will your way forward to meet him halfway. you leaned forward bravely and closed your eyes just as your lips met his, a tingling sensation rolling waves over your skin.
it was a simple kiss, one that made your lips numb when you pulled away and looked up into his eyes. but it wasn’t enough for angus because you were soon pulled into another as his hand lifted and cupped your jaw, keeping you against him as your lips moved together at a gentle, easy pace. he parted your lips with his own, which gave him the space to slip his tongue into your mouth and cause a soft sound to escape your lips. you were fully entranced by him, completely malleable under his touch as you tasted his tongue on your own—sweet like chocolate.
this went on for a few minutes, maybe longer. you two indulging in the kiss you both were anticipating the moment you set eyes on each other.
“this sucks,” you murmured when the kiss finally broke, you two parting to breathe.
“why?” angus furrowed his brows slightly, his hand still on your jaw.
“because i really like you,” you said, pursing your lips into a pout, “and at some point i’m going to have to say goodbye.”
angus shared the sentiment, frowning slightly, “i’ll come to boston again, okay?” he said, just as passionate about you as you were to him, “and if you give me your number i promise to call you.”
you nodded, sighing and watching the way your warm breath fogged up in the cold air. the city was so silent and you’d never been able to experience it quite like this, let alone with a boy you kissed. knowing that it was getting late, though, left you nervous. you had told your parents you wouldn’t be out long and would go to your sister's apartment downtown for a ride back home—leave it up to a boy like angus tully to make it fun to break the rules.
“when do you go back to barton?” you asked him quietly like you didn’t want to hear the answer.
“the day after tomorrow,” angus murmured, his thumb stroking along the skin over your cheek, “i’m gonna’ try visit my dad tomorrow,” he said, “that’s the whole reason i convinced mr. hunham to bring me here, he doesn’t even know.”
you widened your eyes in surprise, “do you think he’ll let you go?”
“probably not, but i’ll find a way.” he said, but not quite fully convinced.
“it’ll work out, angus,” you said, a shiver running up his spine as you said his name, “just like you and me. i’m sure we’ll see each other again.”
he was glad that you managed to see the bright side in all of this, as the night was coming to an end he was beginning to let his negative thoughts pull through. already he could tell that you were going to be a big part of his life, even if it ended up being fleeting and short.
“come on,” angus breathed out, removing his hand from your cheek and standing up. he offered his hand for you to take.
“where are we going?” you asked him, blinking a few times as you took his hand, no mittens or gloves in the way as his fingers interlaced with yours.
“nowhere in particular,” he said, keeping you close as you walked through the quiet boston streets in the early morning hours and spending the last bit of freedom together that you two could muster.
when all was said and done, you found yourself exhausted as you curled up in your bed with the first bit of sunrise spilling through your curtains. it was a bittersweet end to your night with angus, leaving you uncertain about what the future would hold. all you knew was that you’d be waiting for that phone call he promised you.
and taking down your poster of david cassidy.
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tan1shere · 1 month
Text
Changes pt 2
Ellie Williams x female reader !
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A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!
Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?
Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)
Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !
A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.
You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.
Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.
She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.
But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.
"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.
You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.
She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.
You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.
She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.
But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."
She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.
It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.
"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.
"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.
-Hey, you busy tonight?
Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.
-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.
-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?
-bring a book! 🤓
-holding one right now 📖
You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.
After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.
"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.
But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."
Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.
But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.
"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."
Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.
More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.
She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.
Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"
You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.
It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.
You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."
The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.
People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.
The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.
All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.
After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"
He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.
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cordeliawhohung · 27 days
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Soft Spot - Part 2
Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!Reader - part thirteen of "soft spot"
taglist | playlist | dissection links
it's hard to clear your mind with so much smoke
warnings: soft and fluffy, domestic simon, slight anxiety, shitty cliffhanger
wc: 3k
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The music that poured through your window was different than usual.
Normally your downstairs neighbor would play previously recorded songs through whatever stereo system they had set up in their room, but this sounded more vibrant. Their taste in music was good, so you never had much to complain about, and oftentimes you found yourself opening your window just to have a bit of background noise. What made this time so different was that, for once, it was live music. A guitar. By the sounds of it, they hadn’t been playing for very long, but you weren’t one to judge someone trying to learn. Though their plucking wasn’t good, they had a few strummed chords down pretty well, and by the sounds of it, they had found a progression they really enjoyed. 
Those repetitive chords, along with Boo’s purring, accompanied you as you worked in the nursery. It had taken you a while to get the damn cat to calm down enough that he would stop attacking the clothes while you folded them, and he had properly curled up by your feet. While your son’s due date grew closer, he still made no signs that he was showing up anytime soon, which was both intimidating and comforting at the same time. You tried not to think too much about the prospect of giving birth those days, as you found all it really did was raise your anxiety about the whole predicament. Instead, you did your best to distract yourself with little tasks. Simon was a good help too, whenever he wasn't busy ogling at your swollen stomach, anyway. 
You busied yourself with laundry that morning while you attempted to hum along with whatever tune your neighbor had composed. This laundry was different than any other you had done before as the clothes were significantly smaller than you were used to. You didn’t feel comfortable putting your son in unwashed clothes, as you didn’t even want to think about what sort of infections he could get had there been something on the fabric, and since he was about to show up any day, you figured you’d get that out of the way before your hands were too full otherwise. 
That morning, you had washed roughly seven blankets, a handful of fitted sheets, and about half the world's stock of infant onesies. Most of them were thanks to Johnny, naturally, as he was really the only family you and Simon had. One of them had the words “I’m da bomb,” written on the front, which Simon informed you was extra ironic as Johnny was the demolitions expert. The onesie that had really gotten you was the one that said “World’s greatest nephew.” You cried upon seeing it — damn pregnancy hormones — even though Simon said it was tacky. 
The most useful thing you had been gifted was a whole stack of diapers that had a wide age range, and would certainly last your son at least a year. Most of them had been from the office, actually. Or, at least that’s what they claimed. You had a sneaking suspicion it was actually from someone higher up the chain as an attempt at an apology for Sallow’s behavior on your last day. You did your best not to think about that instance too much, yet it always managed to wiggle into your brain somehow. His biting words, that look on his face as if he had won. Part of you wondered what ended up happening to him. Another part didn’t really care. 
“Sure you don’t wanna take a break?” Simon spoke up from the doorway. 
Halfway through folding a onesie with construction trucks on it, you looked up from your work. Simon was just about as restless as you were since going on leave, and unfortunately for you that meant he spent most of his time checking in on you as if you were a feral old lady. Chuckling, you turned your attention back to folding. 
“It’s laundry, not hard manual labor,” you quipped. 
“You’re supposed to be relaxing,” he countered. 
“There’s a difference between relaxing and bed rest, and I think bed rest would make me go insane right about now,” you sighed as you tossed yet another folded onesie into the pile with the others. 
“You’ve been fussin’ over the nursery since this morning,” Simon said. 
“Is it not still morning?”
“It’s one, sweetheart.” 
Blinking away your surprise, you looked at all the clothes that surrounded you. Your nursing chair was quite comfortable, even in your changed state, and it was quite easy to pile clothes and other items high in the hampers as you worked mindlessly. Normally it wouldn’t have taken you so long to do laundry, even with the large amount of clothes you sorted through. Perhaps you had the lethargy of pregnancy to thank for that. 
“Oh,” you said simply. 
Chuckling, Simon crossed the distance of the room and took your busy hands in his as he knelt in front of you. His hands seemed softer those days, and void of cuts and bruises. It wasn’t just the paternal leave that did that, as you two had only been off of work for maybe two weeks at that point. He hadn’t been deployed on a mission ever since he found out you were pregnant. Perhaps you had John to thank for that. You made a mental note to send him a nice box of cigars. 
“Have you eaten?” Simon asked. 
“Not since breakfast,” you answered. 
A simple squeeze of your hands was all that was needed to prompt you up, with Simon’s assistance of course. He always asked questions like that. If you had eaten or drank any water. Said you would need to keep prepared in case you went into labor. Said you would need to keep as much of your energy as you could. Not even ten minutes later, the two of you sat next to one another, eating quickly slapped together sandwiches while you sunk into the couch in the living room. 
Music continued to pour through the open windows, yet it sounded like your neighbor had given up on practicing for the time being. Time moved at a snail’s pace ever since you went on leave, and the music only seemed to exacerbate that. You lived in a limbo — a place frozen in time where the only thing you seemed to do was prepare for something that felt like would never come. 
Once you finished eating, you leaned back into the couch with a heavy sigh. Every atom that made up your body buzzed with restlessness. Your feet began to tap against the floor, knees shaking with the force, and your gaze turned to the window. Fat clouds hung in the sky, but it didn’t smell like rain. If anything, you could nearly make out the scent of the tulips your next door neighbor had growing on her balcony. 
Simon reached over and snatched your plate from your lap, drawing your attention back over to him. He looked at you with a raised brow as he caught sight of your bouncing legs, and you quickly ceased your movement with a huff. Chuckling, he stood up from his spot before wandering off into the kitchen to take care of the mess, and you groaned as you looked up at the ceiling. 
“I’m going crazy,” you whined. 
“That’s what relaxin’ is, sweetheart,” Simon quipped. 
“It’s bullshit is what it is,” you countered. “Sitting around, just waiting for this kid to come like we’ve got some welcoming party set up. I wanna… do something.” 
Simon paused as he came back into the living room, shoulder leaning against the doorway. “Wanna go for a walk?” 
“What, like I’m a dog?” you teased.
He shrugged. “Your words, not mine.” 
A heavy sigh passed your lips as you rolled your head to the side. You hated the stares. You hated the comments and the lingering eyes and the quiet cooing you received while out in public. More often than not you were looked at like a walking enigma rather than a human being. Rather than a mother. Is that what it meant to become a mom? You’d just turn into some spectacle? Is that all you had ever been from the start? 
“Sure,” you finally responded, “could walk around the park or something.” 
That was that. The lift made heading to the bottom floor an easy feat, and once you were settled in the passenger's seat of Simon's car, the two of you were headed off to the nearest park. A gentle breeze toyed with the clouds in the sky and the budding leaves on the trees, and its aroma was intoxicating. Usually there was more rain in the spring time, but you were glad that you had been spared from it that day. 
You weren’t the only people who figured it was a good day to go for a walk. Plenty of other citizens filled the park as children bounced around on playground sets and adults settled down for impromptu picnics. Their laughter filled the air with ease, and its sound felt warm on your ears. It wouldn’t be much longer until you heard that sound more often. Or, at least you hoped you did. You were sure there would be plenty of screaming well beforehand. 
Simon helped you out of the car, face still shrouded with his mask, and the two of you quickly set off on the paved path that weaved throughout the grass and trees. Shadows dotted the land around you as thick clouds traversed far overhead, yet for the most part the sun warmed your skin as you walked. It was awkward walking and carrying around so much extra weight, yet you had gotten fairly good at pushing through despite it. With Simon’s hand in yours, you hardly thought too much about the weight anyways as you were more concerned with the feeling of his skin against yours. 
“So,” you spoke up once the two of you had walked a fair ways down the path, “the mask. Still plan on wearing it once you’re officially done with work?” 
“Maybe,” he pondered.
“Seriously?” 
He shrugged. “It’s so ingrained with me that the tyke’ll probably come out wearin’ one.” 
Your chuckle shook your body so much you felt your son protest inside of you with a swift fit of kicks. He had grown less active as of late, but as far as you knew, that was pretty normal. Still, you wish he had picked up energy a bit more. By the sounds of it, if he didn’t arrive by next week, your doctor planned on inducing you, which was a whole nightmare on its own. 
“As long as he’s got a better sense of humor than you, I think we’ll manage,” you teased. 
“My sense of humor is fine.”
“Uh huh.” 
A fit of giggles snagged your attention as a small group of kids swerved around you and Simon. A bright yellow football spun out in front of the two of you as they kicked it among themselves, making sure to use a flourish of kicks to show off. It seemed as if their game had gone out of bounds, and they elbowed one another as they fought to get it back towards the field. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them and their stubby legs kicking the ball as they ran as hard as they could. 
It was strange to think you’d have to care for someone like that. Sure, your son would start off small, but everyone always said they grew up fast. It was times like that when things seemed to move faster than normal. Everything always seemed like it stood still until you turned around and saw how far you had come, yet something about that moment made things feel like the opposite. Everything else passed by you so quickly, and you were stuck with your feet in the ground. 
Fucking pregnancy hormones. 
Before you could get lost any further in your mind, you gave Simon’s hand a full squeeze, as if demanding his attention. He hummed in response, eyes carefully flickering to you before landing back on the path before you. 
“We still have to decide on a name,” you reminded him. 
“If we had it Johnny’s way, we’d name it after him,” Simon humored. 
A smile pulled at your lips as you remembered his comments. You’re naming him after Uncle Johnny, aye? 
“I’m not naming our son John. That’s such an old man's name,” you countered. “I’m pretty sure anyone with that name isn’t ever born. They just sorta sprout into existence as a full grown man.”
“We could always name him Arlo,” Simon said, the grin evident in his voice. 
“You’re a fucking dick for that one,” you hissed quietly enough that the kids around you couldn’t hear. 
Simon’s grin erupted into a chuckle, and you bathed in the way the warm vibration of it washed over you. Simon always felt like home to you. Patched up and barely holding together by the seams at first, yet his foundation was the only one you had come across that wasn’t cold and dead. His laughter always reminded you of that — that you were safe and warm with him — even though he tried to hold it back more often than not. 
“We’ll figure it out eventually I suppose,” you sighed. 
Even with the steady breeze, the heat of the sun ate away at your skin like a beast. While it felt nice at first, being out in nature and airing yourself out, you could feel your skin perspire uncomfortably, forcing your clothes to stick to your body like a cage. You wiggled your hand out of Simon’s grasp as you wiped your sticky hand on your pants. Being sweaty was always uncomfortable, but it was twice as irritating when you were so far along. 
“Wanna take a breather?” Simon prompted. 
You looked up at him with narrow eyes. How he managed through the thick heat in that dark mask of his was beyond you, and in some sort of way you were a little jealous. Though, you supposed he had earned that right. You were sure he had gone through environments much warmer than London with clothes significantly thicker than his civvies. 
“Sure,” you said eventually, giving in. 
A few paces ahead sat an unsuspecting bench. It was one of the annoying metal ones that had no curve for comfort, yet you knew Simon was right. A breather would do you some good, and you shouldn’t push yourself anyway. The moment you lowered yourself onto the bench, you leaned all your weight back with a sigh. However, Simon stayed standing, despite the fact there was plenty of room for him to sit with you. 
“I’ve got some water in the car, if you need it,” he offered. 
“Might be a good idea,” you nodded. 
Simon paused as he glanced around as if assessing the area for threats. You weren’t quite sure what threats there were to be found in London, but you were certain you would have been fine in a park in broad daylight. Simon seemed to come to that same conclusion, and he quickly waved a finger at you as he took a step back. 
“Stay put.” 
After giving him a half-assed fake salute, you watched as he strolled back down the pavement towards the car until he was well out of view. Another sigh left your throat as you allowed your eyes to rest and soak in what little nature surrounded you. Birds sang to one another in the trees, but the crashing harmony of the seagull’s call created an aura of dissonance. It was some sort of external struggle you weren’t allowed to be a part of. 
At that moment, everything happened at once. The cars driving along the street. Children screaming and giggling. Clouds rolling overhead without a care in the world. A bee flying towards a dandelion. You could smell the sunshine warm the earth with an enticing aroma. Everything existed all at once, all together, with you right in the middle of it. It was perfect. Everything humming in tune with one another. Weaving together to hold you tight. 
It stopped when you smelled the smoke. 
That nauseating aroma was strong enough to nearly make you hurl right there in the center of the park, yet you managed to hold it together. It took a sharp breath and a thick swallow to do it, but you refused to embarrass yourself that way. You hated being vulnerable in front of others. As your eyes flickered back open you could make out the faint sound of rustling grass. It was leisurely. Soft. Like someone couldn’t bother to pick their feet up fully as they walked. 
Your mistake was simple. You looked up. You looked up and you locked eyes with the man who walked by, and you swore that in that moment you would fall apart. And you wanted to. Wanted to crumble into dust so that he would never lay eyes on you again. Yet you were forced to witness the way his lips curled into a smile around his cigarette as if he had any right to be friendly towards you, and you wanted to scream. You wanted to scream further still as he changed course and made a beeline straight to you. 
“Holy shit,” he muttered. 
You hated his voice. Hated the way words rolled off of his tongue. You wished his tongue would turn to stone, or worse, so that he would never have to poison anyone with his words ever again. His chuckle came as a terrible scratch against your eardrums, and you tried your best not to grimace, but you couldn’t even do that much. 
He exhaled his last lungful of smoke before he took the butt out of his mouth and tossed it onto the pavement. The sole of his boot crushed it like it was nothing but a bug underneath his weight, and while you could hear its contents smearing on the ground, you still couldn’t look away from his face. A desert-like dryness plagued your mouth, and you tried your hardest to get your tongue to move, but every time you swallowed it felt like pins were stuck in your throat. 
Years. So many years and still, you were nothing but a scared little girl. 
“What?” he questioned facetiously. “You’re not gonna say hi to your dad?”
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teaboot · 10 months
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How do you stop being so scared and angry all the time?
I've been a scared and angry person in the past, so my first instinct was to write a really long and introspective piece about it, but really I think it can all boil down to a few small points.
Fear
Trust yourself to make good choices when things go wrong. If there's a skill you need to learn to believe that, learn it.
Know that the forces of the universe don't care about you personally. That sounds pessimistic, but if the planet isn't actively trying to help you, then it's not out to hurt you, either.
While the universe is indifferent to your plight, other people aren't. We're a naturally empathetic and communal species. Approaching strangers with humility, consideration, and respect will get positive results ninety nine times out of a hundred.
Remember that everyone is scared and confused and has anxieties and hopes and fears. We're all doing our best. You aren't alone.
Anger
When people do dumb, rude, belligerent crap, remind yourself that while you can walk away from their actions, they can't. Their personal choices and actions have repercussions you can't see. They probably have loads of strangers giving them side-eye or cussing them out for their bullshit, and that's not a very pleasant life to be living.
It's so easy to get angry at someone who's getting angry with you. Remember, though, that anger is a reaction to other emotions- fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion- and those feelings aren't your responsibility. Their outburst is a bad choice they are making in response to other things, and staying calm and patient and acknowledging their feelings will usually bring them down to a rational space.
With that in mind, try and figure out where your anger is coming from. Are you scared? Hurt? Confused? Frustrated? Anger seems nebulous and powerful, with no clear beginning or end. Frustration and confusion, helplessness and anxiety- those are actionable. There are things you can ask for or do to make them better.
You can step away. Take a minute to sort yourself out. Anger itself isn't bad- It's the things we do out of anger that bite us on the ass. Give yourself time and space to cool down and decide what's a good idea and what isn't.
I'm still working through these myself, but these are what's helped so far. I hope they can help you, too.
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darylsdelts · 1 month
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Hi😊 I was wondering if you could write the A - Z NSFW head canons for Daryl when you feel like it? I really love how you write him!
Tysm for this anon! This is fun!
Please keep in mind that sometimes I’m in the mood for subby Daryl and sometimes the opposite so my own opinions constantly change so, aside from this… yes Daryl is also daddy.
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Aftercare - in the beginning, Daryl definitely doesn’t know what to do with himself after being intimate with you. The first few times, he pulls away after without saying anything and would either head out or just make some space between you. After he realises you actually want him there and understands what he should do then he definitely holds you close to his chest, a kiss on the top of your head, tells you he enjoyed it and he loves you.
Body - favourite body part… Daryl’s a boob man. He don’t give a shit, big or small but he loves em. (Norman is the biggest fucking boob man so so is Daryl, ok?) he also loves your eyes because he finds comfort in them, being able to hold eye contact is a big thing for Daryl. That being said, he basically get separation anxiety if he hasn’t been able to play with your pussy for a while😭 (not really but you’re his first time for everything so he just can’t get enough)
Cum - hear me out, Daryl used to get scared to cum. Like it took a while for him to get used to it. He’d enjoy show good it all felt but as soon as he would get too close he’d ask you to stop, he didn’t know why but he’d get all panicky. Until one day you very gently told him you were gonna make him cum and you guided him through it. It’s not like he hadn’t jerked off before, he didn’t even understand the anxiety himself. But the first time you did make him cum, there was quite a lot and he got real shy but he enjoyed it and since then he’s a fiend for when you just use your hand. He’s not really into cumming on your face but he likes the tummy. Even though he knows he can’t, sometimes he’ll still beg to cum inside you.
Dirty secret - he secretly likes the thought of you forcing him to watch yourself get off on your own fingers, tormenting him and not letting him touch you or himself. You’d have him practically rutting into thin air as he watched your fingers work hard, wishing it was his cock.
Experience - Daryl had no experience before you, he was a virgin. He didn’t outright say that but you caught on and you eventually asked him about it, which to your surprise he didn’t get defensive about, he was more ashamed than anything. But good Lord, he used his fingers liked he’d been in training his whole life, sure he was inexperienced but it didn’t show. The only telltale sign was his premature ejaculation the first time you two messed about and also how he humps his hips against the mattress when he eats you out.
Freaky - He’s not freaky lmfao. He’s pretty vanilla, with a submissive streak. The most dominant he gets is calling you a good girl and making you suck his fingers. Other than that he’s gentle and tends to slip into a sort of submissive role.
Goofy - Daryl’s too focused to be goofy. Nothing to laugh about if his girl ain’t cumming yet. But he’s not boring, obviously, just usually too caught up in pleasure. Unlessssss… you’re overstimulating him, something he loves, then he might get a little giggly accidentally but only because he doesn’t know what to do with himself when you’re attacking his sensitive head.
Hair - Daryl’s hair is sparse on his chest and torso but his happy trail gets a little darker, not black though, I would say probably a medium brown colour, let’s remember he’s a blonde baby at heart. He’s got a little bit of bush going on but he trims it now and then. As for you, he couldn’t care less, he’s still gonna eat his meal 😋! If you do get the chance to shave, he’d most likely be surprised. “What’s this? Ya been shavin’? Hope ya ain’t done it fer me”. He wouldn’t want you to think you have to shave for him to find you attractive, to be honest it kinda throws him off when you’re hairless.
Intimacy - he’s a needy fucker for a cuddle. He don’t look like it but he might as well be the damn cuddle monster when it comes to you. In private of course. In public he’d just squeeze your hand and maybe kiss your forehead if no one’s looking but PDA makes him uncomfortable. That’s why he’s so touchy and clingy at home.
Jerking off - not much time for Daryl to touch himself, also, he’s with you so he might aswell just ask you to do it. However, if for any reason you’re apart, he might get a little pent up, start daydreaming about things you say to him and how you say it “such a good boy, Daryl” he’d practically fuck his hand, being so desperate for release that he’d cum way too fast. He also likes to cup his balls when he cums.
kinks - secret mommy kink secret mommy kink secret mommy kink. He didn’t know he had one but he did know that he tends to gravitate to nurturing women who make him feel comforted but he’s never found any sexual desire there until he met you. So attentive and so nurturing, you always knew what he needed… it just slipped out one time, you were straddling him whilst he was still clothed. You’d teased him all day and he was a mess, rutting against your core through his jeans, begging to be touched. He couldn’t help it when he had an accidental orgasm in his pants and moaned out “m-mommyyyy”. And boy did you hold him to that.
Location - Home. Daryl don’t take no risks! Except for when he lets you tease him under the table at meetings.
Motivation (turn ons) - you, especially if you’ve been fighting, he loves watching his girl fight. Your kindness turns him on as-well, unless someone takes advantage of it, then he’s out to kill.
No (turn offs) - roughness, he’s not into being rough with you or you being tough with him. His life’s been rough enough.
Oral - he gets whimpery when you suck his dick, he bucks his hips and whines and he fucking loves it. Almost as much as he loves to eat you out. He’d lay on his stomach, eating you out whilst simultaneously rubbing his cock against the mattress, leaving a puddle of precum.
Pace - usually a slow to medium pace, he likes making love to you but if he’s stressed or had a rough day, he’s gonna go fast. That’s the only time he’ll be overly dominant. Basically just using your body.
Quickie - as much as he thinks about it, Daryl’s not pushing you up against a tree mid-hunt. It’s dangerous and not exactly comfortable for you. The closest thing he’s gotten to a quickie is one time you teased his cock through his jeans during a group dinner and he was so close to cumming he basically dragged you to the bathroom and had you suck him off.
Stamina - less than he had in the beginning 😭 he’s 55 now, he’s still got impeccable stamina and could go for round two but not as quickly as he could at 40.
Toys - one day, you came home from a scavenge with a vibe, he was a little annoyed, saying you could’ve got more important things but you assured him that this was all you found. He assumed it was for your use only but… you held it to his frenulum and suddenly he was glad it was all you could find. You told him that if you found a dildo you could use that on him too but he couldn’t tell if you were joking or not, maybe he’d let you use your fingers before any of that… maybe.
Unfair - after all of this submissive Daryl talk, he does like seeing you flustered, he likes to tease just as much as you do, he makes it like a little competition.
Volume - he’s quiet, small grunts and whimpers unless the vibe is involved then you gotta stuff your panties in his mouth.
Wild card (random hc) - likes when you worship his body, makes him less insecure (which he very much is but shouldn’t be)
X-ray - 7 inches and thick! Tip is a pinky red and he’s uncut. His balls are heavy asf but pretty tight. 4 inches when soft and when he’s hard it stands to attention with no curve.
Yearning - tried to play it cool… still tries to play it cool but is obsessed with you.
Zzz - as soon as you’re snuggled up, he’s gone. Fucking finally, he never slept well before you.
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God this took fucking ages.
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megabuild · 5 months
Text
"Is Etho's Lab Autistic?" - the greatest thread in the history of MCYTblr, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
NOT INTENDED to be a diagnostic resource or an "accusation/truthing" of Etho being autistic, but rather comparing autistic criterion as printed in the DSM-5 with various clips and common autistic experiences, since he has many autistic fans who relate to him. Also because it's a little funny and it's always fun to see more Etho clips. Some of these clips may overlap categories.
A: Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction.
Unaware of social conventions or context; makes socially inappropriate comments (especially to strangers)
Bdubs: "One of the first things he said to me... Bdubs, you are always sick. I never get sick."
"I was at the DMV, for like, fifteen minutes."
(Gem: "Sometimes the things that come out of your mouth are... unexpected.") "That's how you get laughs, Gem."
Lack of theory of mind (difficulty or inability to recognise cognitive differences- assumes everyone thinks similarly and will understand any references or explanations made, no matter how particular)
"PLETHORA!"
"It's the same noise tigers make when they chuff."
"Feel free to boo if you wish." ("Boo!")
B: Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities.
Idiosyncratic or metaphorical language (language that has meaning only to those familiar with the individual's communication style) (also extends to a very particular or idiosyncratic sense of humour that appeals only to themselves)
"The Office is a good show..."
"Objectify them! Objectify them real good!"
"What's the deal with bathroom... peanuts...?"
"This is probably the greatest story you will ever hear in your lifetime."
"And he's like, Etho, don't go in there."
Echolalia (immediate or delayed repetition of sounds, words or phrases)
"Meow!"
"Deh-deh-deh!"
"We got go get wool!" (More mature jargoning than echolalia, but still)
Rigid thinking (difficulty or inability to understand humour, irony, or implied meanings)
"That's Not What That Is."
"I don't have social skills, Grian.."
Particular interests, often on unorthodox things or with uncommon levels of intensity
Sourcing exact clips for this one is tricky, but being a Minecraft YouTuber is one of the most autistic things a person can do imo.
Specifically, a redstone Minecraft YouTuber. Who invents stuff like the Nexus.
(On fireworks, something he's made frequent references to and also tried to make as a kid) "I'm like a kid in a candy store right now!"
Anxiety around change/transitional periods
"Whenever I'm recording a new series with a bunch of new people, the stress... I start to feel it in my stomach." (Gem: "Aw, that's anxiety!")
C: Other things I felt were relevant but couldn't decide on a category for
"I used to go out after rainstorms and pick (worms) up..." (Guude: "Would you let them go ever, or-") "No, I usually forgot about 'em... found 'em later all dried up..."
Cleo: "To be fair, Etho never claims he's a grown up, he just sort of.. giggles and runs away."
"Guys? GUYS?!"
Hiding in the bathroom at MCC
Vaxxed?
Mannerisms such as his "sleepy" or monotone voice from earlier years, or "whisper-shouting" rather than actually yelling.
Thanks
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