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regrettablewritings · 4 years

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Preferences: Guilty Pleasures

Characters: Okoye, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Peter B. Parker, Ahkmenrah

Okoye

Okoye is straightforward and stony upon first impressions. And, admittedly, even afterward. The only real difference is that, if one gets to know her better, they might find shock in the fact that in spite of her appearance, she Dora leader actually likes sweets. However, it’s not sweet things in general that Okoye feels guilty for enjoying: It’s Starbucks.

Starbucks is the antithesis of everything Okoye is associated with: Supremely un-Wakandan, a chain establishment, and overall just not worth the absurd cost. Not to mention superbly unhealthy when compared to the rest of a fighter’s typical diet. But yet you can bet that every time she needs to go out of the country or off-continent, there’s an invasive shout for joy at the possibility that she might be able to get her hands on a Frappucino (followed by an internal scolding).

She can’t even explain exactly why she likes it; there are plenty of good, even healthier sweet things back in Wakanda -- heck, back anywhere else!

But it’s a bit like when someone craves the cheap taste of school pizza over a legit pie cooked in a stone hearth: She just loves the sugary sweetness, the application of whipped cream to an already tooth-rottingly saccharine icy drink, the addition of chocolate. But Bast, she also hates it. But ever since T’Challa practically shoved a grande cup of caramel frappucino into her hands, she hasn’t felt entirely the same.

Against her better judgement, she’s more or less unintentionally tried 45% of the menu drink-wise. She doesn’t particularly care much for the food part of the establishment, though if she should ever find herself in one during the fall, she might indulge in a chunky slice of pumpkin bread under the conviction that it’s healthy enough for being gourd-related. Never mind that it’s just a cinnamon mixture with more sugar than actual pumpkin-derived anything.

Really, of all those mentioned on this list, Okoye is the one who probably feels the most disappointed in herself whenever she indulges in her guilty pleasure: It’s a betrayal to her patriotism, to her dignity, and to her attempts to eat healthy. But damn, if this type of betrayal doesn’t taste so addicting . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

The thing about Lucifer is that it’s actually a bit hard for him to feel any regrets over liking anything; he’s the Devil, after all, so his whole thing is about embracing the things that make you feel good. And even besides that, he’s mostly managed to skate by in his time on Earth by categorizing things as Stuff He Likes, Stuff He Tolerates, Stuff He Doesn’t Bother With, and Stuff Humans Seem to Enjoy But He Doesn’t Quite Get. It’s a tad restricted of a system but you can’t argue with results.

However, just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. The Devil can, in fact, recognize absurdity in liking certain things. Hence why, to a point, he’s fallen prey to his own bizarre pleasures: The Devil has guilty pleasures, and it’s in stupid YouTube videos, Vine, and TikTok.

After he finally drank the Kool-Aid and got himself a smart phone, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer fell down the rabbit hole that is YouTube prank videos and strange uploads about nonsense and animal humor. It was also only a matter of time before he found himself stumbling into Vine compilations. The Celestial is terrifically mystified by the creative power of humans, managing to tell entire stories and peak comedy in only a span of seven seconds. But he’s also quite loathe to have realized it’s been long defunct by the time he’s discovered it.

He’s even more loathe to find himself making references in his daily life: He has actually quietly blurted out, “I sure hope it does” in response to seeing a Road Work Ahead sign, causing Chloe some confusion (and Lucifer lots of embarrassment). He has referred to a culprit as “Jared, Age 19″. Since discovering Vine, there has been at least one night wherein he and a bed mate were sitting there with barbecue sauce on his tiddies, but that was by sheer coincidence.

But eventually the Vine compilation well dried up, and the inevitable transfer over to TikTok happened. And Luci honestly doesn’t know what to make of TikTok. He would describe it as Vine’s Molly-addicted cousin based on its obsession with dancing, but the dances are so stationary that even that doesn’t seem quite right. The videos on the platform are also much more . . . bizarre. And some of them admittedly trigger a fight-or-flight response in him, to which he always chooses the third option of freezing if only so he can keep watching the train wreck unfold before his eyes.

The trouble with TikTok, he’ll admit to himself, is that it’s not as easy to find iconic content the same way he could with Vine. However, this isn’t to say that he hasn’t found anything worth watching over and over and over again . . .

(Let’s just say the “Wolf Pack Compilation” lives in his head rent-free, and he’s both too amused by it and too overwhelmed by its vibe to try and evict it.)

Dewey Finn

Dewey is . . . a special case. Given that he associates messy living and indulging in one’s pleasure a part of the rocker lifestyle, he’s generally quick to embrace whatever makes him happy. He’s very upfront about his interests and is arguably almost incapable of feeling shame. But it’s in there: Deep down. No, not in himself -- in his Spotify. Specifically, a Spotify account made on an email he never uses because it was made specifically to create this separate, uber secret playlist.

One marked “Actual Musical Bops.”

Dewey hates musicals: They’re cheesy, uninspired, gaudy, ridiculous, totally aimed at chicks with weird fantasies that he could never aspire to, and the music is just overall unimpressive. And yet, somehow, against his music elitist nature, a handful have managed to slip through the cracks. At the very least, a handful of numbers have clawed their way past his defenses and into his ear, where they now live rent-free.

In spite of his best efforts, the problems are that he’s a New Yorker, so it’s inevitable that he hears a song or two; and also that, as an instructor (to wealthy New York tweens whose families can afford frequent tripes to the Great White Way, no less), he’s definitely going to wind up hearing about some shows and their stand-out numbers: Against his will, he knows the lyrics to “My Shot”; he has cried in the secrecy of his apartment to “When I Grow Up”; in the never-necessary reason he needs to remember how many minutes there are in a year, he sings it inside his head; hell, he’s even found himself trying to figure out the electric guitar riff from “The Phantom of the Opera” during his down time.

What’s all the more embarrassing is that, given how he presents himself as a music elitist, there’s just no way he can come back from this if anyone were to know. He has to catch himself when he finds himself humming “Johanna” in the teacher’s lounge. He scowls at himself when he can’t sleep and gives in and starts playing “No One is Alone.” He wants to kick his thick ass every time he realizes he’s excited to have stumbled across a “slime tutorial” on YouTube, this one with better quality than the last. The reason he actually put a password on his phone wasn’t out of privacy like a sensible person would, but out of a need to make sure that no one ever found out that he had downloaded the entire Beetlejuice soundtrack, including jankily-recorded songs that never made it to the official cast recording for whatever reason!

And should anyone ever find out about any of this, Dewey has a plan: “Oh, I’m doing research. I’m studying these songs so I can give the kids a lesson on what not to do as actually competent musicians.”

But the lesson would never actually come. Mainly because he keeps prolonging his “research” . . .

He’s also developed a bit of a soft spot for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic due to some students gushing about it, but he would rather sooner die than ever be associated with the term “brony.”

Peter B. Parker

Peter is at a point where he’s too tired to really care about the idea of guilty pleasures. The way he sees it, there are bigger priorities at stake than worrying about someone finding out about your love of some hokey activity or food or form of entertainment.

Besides, he’s a New Yorker: There’s way weirder stuff for people to just not pay any real attention to. Hence why he thinks nothing of his bizarre eating habits. And no, this isn’t referring to his disastrous appetite: This is about his tendency to eat food with his hands. Foods that, well, he really should probably utilize eating utensils for.

To be fair, this habit has always existed in him in some form or another, especially since, as Spider-Man, he often needs to eat food on the go. But during the time he spent living the life of a depressed bachelor, it came out in full force. On the rare occasion he wasn’t eating a food that deserved to be eaten by hand, he often found himself loathing the idea of doing the dishes afterward. There would be days he’d feel only slightly less depressed; enough to make a box of Kraft Mac n Cheese in the pot, but not enough to avoid cutting out the middle man.

He’s thankful the craptastic apartment wasn’t also see-through because if it were, he’s positive his neighbors would’ve thought they were bearing witness to a man’s breakdown as he wept into a pot of macaroni and cheese, his hand full of the stuff, while wearing a Spider-Man costume. (And, to be fair, they actually would be.)

In addition to this, there were also those nights where he would be prepared to actually tuck in to a plate of spaghetti, only for some crime going on elsewhere in the city to drag him away. By the time he’d return, the plate would’ve been cold and his energy too depleted to want to even dream about cleaning more than he already had to.

The great news is that he’s thankfully done a 180, now able and willing (if begrudgingly) to clean up after himself. But bad news is that this feral man will still eat a fully-loaded baked potato like an apple. In a park. In front of women and children. He’s just too tired to care anymore. He’s aware of the guilt in this as a concept, but he’s also aware that he needs to take whatever happiness he can get out of whatever he does. And if that means eating everything by hand, then so be it!

Ahkmenrah

Funnily enough, Ahkmenrah doesn’t seem to experience much of any shame for enjoying the things most might feel the need to hide: He’s constantly curious and has missed out on a lot over the centuries, so why should he feel bad for wanting to indulge in them? Celebrity gossip is just a more fun version of the palace gossip he’d grown up hearing as a boy; reality TV is like watching a play, but with much more fights, less deaths, and more faulty romances; and sloppy meatball subs are like a feast for a man of his time!

Besides, he’s a king: Kings shouldn’t have to feel embarrassment over what the common folk might think.

And yet . . . It took some time, but eventually Ahkmenrah did experience it: Guilt in his pleasures.

He couldn’t even recall where it had all started. Maybe he was searching for more content to swallow after the most recent season of his new favorite show had ended? Whatever the case, he wound up biting off more than he could chew when he stumbled upon . . . fanfiction.

The adorable yet sad thing is that he didn’t even think anything of it at first. It wasn’t until he brought up a ship he’d invested his last few nights awake exploring on the computer: Nobody knew what the crap he was talking about, so of course he felt the need to explain it. But the more he talked, the more perplexed his friends looked. And the more he could feel his cheeks and ears burn.

Oh, he thought. Is this . . . embarrassment? Is that what this feels like? Oh, this is just foul.

Thankfully, nobody pressured him to keep talking about it, but the poor king sure as heck didn’t feel much of a desire to talk any further about it. But he needed to talk to somebody about his newly acquired “feels” as those online were calling them.

Joining fanfiction-oriented sites was the next obvious step, of course, but he’s experienced mixed feelings about it: On one hand, it’s nice to talk with people who share similar views and excitement about a fictional couple. But on the other, the digital wars that have broken out both disturb him and bring out the worst in him.

Like, of course there are bigger things to deal with than whether or not So-So is better off with Him-Ham, but if you truly think that Blah-Blah and Himhaw are a healthy relationship, then you can go do a service and bury yourself in the desert sands to provide substance to the hungry beetles with your flesh --

Suffice to say, a lot of the guilt in this pleasure seems to come from the fact that Ahk can get a little too emotionally invested if the work is really good. He tries to limit his interactions to commenting and praising certain works, and encouraging content creators. However, he’s also contemplated contributing his own pieces of fiction to the fandom . . .

#okoye #lucifer morningstar imagines #dewey finn #peter b parker imagines #ahkmenrah #okoye imagines #lucifer imagines #dewey finn imagines #ahkmenrah imagines #regrettablewritings #spiderman into the spiderverse imagines #spiderman itsv imagines #spiderman imagines #i tried posting this on my phone and it literally fucking deleted EVERYTHING #anyway @staff: the fuck is up? fix that shit because now i literally cannot post SHIT on my phone from my laptop #preference #preferences

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amatchgirl · 4 years

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25 Pantry Recipes (That You’ll Actually Love)

Here we are. We are in a TIME, folks. It is uncharted territory for most of us. We are making the map as we go and wheeeew baby, there are a lot of feelings running us in a lot of different directions. We feel stuck and restless and unsure and tired and wired and ok-maybe-actually-enjoying-some-dedicated-time-together but also worried, anxious and please let me watch this show by myself and oh no what day is it.

But we are staying home because it is an act of love. An unprecedented act of love to take care of each other. To make the world safer for each other. To help build the world back up to a new normal, for each other.

We know cooking can get very tricky these days this with limited access to grocery stores and sometimes even more limited items on shelves, so we pulled together a collection that relies heavily on pantry staples. The ingredient lists are short and the recipes are so very very flexible, (something we’re all really trying to practice being right now – oh, hello multiple Zoom meetings in one house with children and animals and are even the plants somehow louder?).

Here we go.

Trying to keep ingredient lists as short as possible these days and this comes in at a whopping three. We’re using our best pal cashews to add a creamy, velvety twist on the standard pasta, and the jar of tomato sauce we’re probably all coming to know really well right about now.

Get the recipe here.

No, we did not mistakenly put the words salmon and burger together. Give it a crisp sear, top it with a dollop of yogurt and dill and float it on a bed of herby cabbage slaw and you’ll totally get why this pantry-friendly protein patty is worth your bravery.

Get the recipe here.

We cannot lie – these pancakes are straight up exquisite even WITHOUT blueberries, syrup or dripping buttery goodness, but if you happen to have any combination of those things at the ready, these are an absolute dream of a breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Get the recipe here.

We call it “Back Pocket” Noodle Stir Fry because we want you to keep this simple perfect recipe in your back pocket at all times, not the beautiful noodlefull dish ITSELF. That would gross. So grab your noodles, find all the veggie stragglers in the fridge, crisp up a protein, shake up your sauce in a jar, and you are READY.

Get the recipe here.

If you’ve got a pound of chicken in the freezer, a stocked spice rack, and a can of coconut milk, this is for you. Lots of coconut and curry-like flavor, but no cutting boards, no measuring cups, no fuss. Just pack it all up in a bag, freeze or refrigerate, and pop it in the Instant Pot.

Get the recipe here.

If you’re not currently using your vodka as a backup disinfectant then boy do we have a delicious and incredibly easy recipe for you! We swapped out the cream for, wait for it (and trust), coconut milk to make it vegan but ALSO because you might already have a can on hand.

Get the recipe here.

We’ve all had the same nightmare: what if we run out of crisp and wonderful carby things to serve on the side of everything? Chickpea flour to the rescue! This single ingredient (and ok fine, there’s water, olive oil and salt involved too but that’s it!) is delivering to you your new favorite gluten-free dipper.

Get the recipe here.

Cream-free but creamy-as-all-get-out and here to replace your usual coffeeshop latte. You’re free to come to the party at any time of day because literally morning, noon or night (decaf-style), it’s just a straight-up TREAT.

Get the recipe here.

Isn’t it beautiful how potatoes just seem to kind of last forever? Sweet potatoes serve as the base of this spicy creamy delight – just add in some cans of tomatoes and coconut milk, a scoop of peanut butter, lots of spices, and add in some chopped kale to finish it off (which, well, also kind of seems to last forever?).

Get the recipe here.

One silver-lining from this pantry-cooking situation is that everyone seems to be dipping their toes into amateur breadmaking and we are HERE FOR IT. If you haven’t considered it yet, here’s a heck of an easy intro that is going to yield you the perfectly crusted outside, soft and chewy inside loaf of your dreams. Also, carbs.

Get the recipe here.

Sure, baking might be a coping mechanism, and sometimes it has us in front of the oven, oven mitts on, praying for a warm, sweet, wholesome, unfussy and delicious treat to appear. Prayers answered, friends! Carrot muffins at the ready. And by at the ready, we mean blended up in a blender, poured into a muffin tin, baked, and ready to devour.

Get the recipe here.

Lentils, amiright?! Healthy, filling, affordable and they kind of do all the work for you! We put these in the Instant Pot with some warm curry spices, a can of tomatoes and a bit of coconut milk or butter/ghee to make it a little creamy. Scoop it on top of some steamy rice and you have yourself some easy delicious comfort food, which really feels great right now.

Get the recipe here.

This Vegetarian Chili is super cozy, deeeeply flavored and super meaty but with not one little bit of actual meat! And we’re not making up for it by just adding a bunch of beans, friends. No way! This chili uses a delicious blend of walnuts, carrots and mushrooms as a “meat” for all your hearty chili texture needs. Grab your tortillas chips and get ready.

Get the recipe here.

On a scale of *very* to *runs out of room screaming*, how intimidated are you by the thought of making your own curry from scratch? GOOD. You are a real person with well-adjusted fears! But you can totally do this. We believe in you. It’s easier than you think, only requires a few ingredients, and will be so, so worth it.

Get the recipe here.

We all just really need a cookie right now, don’t we? The especially beautiful thing about it is that you probably already have everything you need tucked right in your pantry/fridge. Flour, sugar, butter, chocolate – staples are all here, ready to play.

Get the recipe here.

If you need to clean out the last dregs of your fridge to make space of the restock, this Lo Mein Is. Your. Answer. You can toss almost any protein or veggie you have at it, we swear we won’t tell if you’re using regular old spaghetti noodles and no matter what combo you come up with, that sauce is still going to make it sing.

Get the recipe here.

There is no box situation here! (unless your noodles came in a box but, like, go with us here) There’s also not an elaborate sauce construction and hour-long bake time! Just 5 ACTUAL REAL FOOD ingredients, nothing is powdered or in a pouch, and the whole thing is creamy cheesy yours in under 15 minutes.

Get the recipe here.

If you are looking at those chickpeas on your pantry shelf and thinking, “ok but what else do they do.?…” Well, this! They’ll soak up this deep and complex Morrocan spice blend and then simmer in a fire-roasted tomato sauce to a stewy perfection. Scoop them on top of some couscous or another grain on hand, put a little cucumber salad on the side and a pop of fresh cilantro, mint, parsley if you’ve got it.

Get the recipe here.

Shepherd’s Pie always seems to be an ideal scrappy sort of recipe. Potatoes keep a good long time so we usually have a couple of those laying around, you can definitely use frozen veggies for any fresh that you’re missing, and you can flex all around with quick gravy ingredients. All roads lead to something delicious, bubbling and deeply comforting coming out of that oven.

Get the recipe here.

Maybe you need a little boost because, wheeeew, it is all…a lot to manage right now. We’re right there with you. But if you can find yourself some oats, some peanut butter, a little honey and fingers crossed, a few chocolate chips, we’ve got about 30 little bite-sized pick-me-ups headed your way.

Get the recipe here.

Here’s a little something if take-out isn’t an option for some of your favorite restaurants right now (although buy a gift card for later use if you can!). A great sesame noodle hack that is super flexible depending on what’s available, it comes together in a snap and is a great meal-prep option, you know, if you’re craving some consistency in this DEEPLY INCONSISTENT TIME! We sure are.

Get the recipe here.

If you happen to have curry paste and some coconut milk sitting on your shelves, this is a seriously delicious and easy 5-ingredient way to use up any scrap veggies or protein you might need to get through in your fridge. Listen, you can even throw some golden raisins or any other odd/interesting ingredient at it if you wanna get creative, which is definitely the name of the game these days.

Get the recipe here.

We’re always here for a no-bake situation, but honestly, just very thankful that recipes like this exist right now. Pasta and tomatoes from the cupboard, milk and butter from the fridge, and meatballs from the freezer. Grate up those scrappy pieces of cheese in the back of the drawer to top it off and get going.

Get the recipe here.

If you can only have one sauce on hand right now, this is it. And good news! You probably have most ingredients hanging out in your kitchen already – peanut butter for creaminess, soy sauce for saltiness, sesame oil for smokiness, rice vinegar and ginger for zippiness, and sambal for that perfect spicy hit.

Get the recipe here.

We make no bones about it, this is straight up legit better-than-meat taco meat. In some sort of vegetarian magic spell, it manages to be crisp, spicy and oh so taco-y delicious that you forget to even marvel at all the nutritional bonus points you’re getting from good old fashioned plant-eating.

Get the recipe here.

We hope this helps. We believe big time in the joy and connection food can bring, so we feel grateful to be able to help you put a little scrappy, creative joy on the table during all of this. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

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