#that stupid bird is hilarious

[ferrisbuellers]

ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (2021—) 2x02: Framed

#omitbedit #only murders in the building #televisiongifs #userbbelcher #chewieblog #dailytvfilmgifs #tvandfilm #cinematv #smallscreensource #useroptional #usertelevision #usermorgan #nessa007 #trueloveistreacherous #usersnat #tusertha #usertree #tvedit #* #that stupid bird is hilarious

[feroluce]

When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.

Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.

He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.

They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.

Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.

Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.

Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.

It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.

It's an ear.

It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-

Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.

"Hey!"

Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.

"Kaveh, hey!"

The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.

His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.

Quicksand.

Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.

His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-

Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.

"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.

Kaveh is sinking.

Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.

Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.

"Do you believe in karma?"

The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-

Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.

Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.

He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.

He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.

He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.

He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.

Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.

Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.

"Kaveh? What are you doing?"

This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."

Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.

"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.

"Do you believe in karma?"

#genshin impact #haikaveh #al haitham #kaveh #kavehtham #these two have had me chewing concrete lately god #3.6 got me frothing at the mouth #something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart #and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby- #and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol #and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov #Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help #and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality #and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves #kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self* #al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this #or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other. #two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal #i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this #written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song #'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow' #'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption' #'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in' #'but he couldn't be saved' #'a sadness runs through him' #extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough #my fics #gore #body horror #I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case

[aroacedavestrider]

An addition to having the meaning of ur last name meaning swallows, u are now officially bird related !!! Just like david strider from Homestuck :3

this is true. "rondini" is technically the bird called a swallow. this is an absolute dub. but like out of every fucking bird

#actually well. that would have made it sound like a birds penis #like. if rondini meant crows #i dont think id want to be dave crowpenis either #whatever yeah i guess ill be dave suckdick thats fine #gives the whole aroace thing a whole new level of hilarious irony #i just made being as sincerely aroace as i can possibly be. ironic #it all comes full fucking circle. the circle of stupidity is complete #ask #ursa-ironii #reply #dave speaks

[dangoarts]

new lc beta is great! what is the butler.

#i haven't seen it yet #tags go into spoilers lalalalalalalala #filler filler tags talk about spoilers lalalalalalalaalalalaaaaalalalallala #spoiler wall spoiler wall lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala #ok i might be safe now #lethal company spoilers #bro i cannot die to entities i had every old bird aggro'd on me basically on the amethyst secret moon and the thing that killed me was #the ship leaving #deadass might post that clip it was hilarious #the only thing that kills me in that game is brackens and my own stupidity #just a ramble

[krillbot]

Some people may say that 12 gigabytes of Overwatch highlights is too many

Those people cannot make a “On this day” memory reel out of their videos so really who’s winning here?

#the main reason I even have them is because I started giving them stupid titles a while ago and now it’s more of the names than the plays #it’s all crap like #Who let this bird into the Home Depot? #or Time for another round of The Floor is Reinhardt #overwatch #overwatch 2 #maevith plays overwatch #honestly I should make a gallery of them because I think they’re hilarious and so do you

[shatteredsnail]

i love when i consume media and it gives me so many new ideas for media

#new interest really made me reconstruct a whole magic system #fundamentally the same but now it’s cooler and makes more sense #the guardians of balance when they get revamped every few weeks because i keep coming up with ideas #i think the only one who’s stayed the same since the start is stelleri which is hilarious because stelleri is the stupidest most useless one #i shouldn’t say that. love stelleri with my whole heart. but stupid looking bird who likes peanuts vs epic serpent

[01zfan]

third | j.sc

boyfriend!sungchan x fem!reader | 3.9k words

this is a mature work, minors do not interact

third base - touching below the waist (without sexual intercourse) or manual stimulation of genitals.

contains: established relationship, mutual masturbation, f. fingering, switch reader and switch sungchan if you squint. only slightly proofread.

base series: first | second | third | homerun

you looked at your boyfriend sitting at the foot of your bed. you could feel the gentle kneading on your feet, trying to dull the ache that was brought on by being on them all day.

this was becoming a part of your friday night routine. sungchan would pick you up from your late night shift at work and drive you home while you complained about customers and laughed as you recounted funny moments with your coworkers. sungchan always listened attentively, also in shock at the stupidity of the customers you had to deal with. sungchan would talk about his day then he would drop you off in front of your house, coming around to open the door for you. you would kiss and say goodbye. then he would drive off.

this was all a part of the master plan you came up with to sneak your boyfriend into your parents house. the front door camera would see him drive away after waiting for you to close the door to go inside. what the camera wouldn’t see is sungchan park his car at his friends who lived in the same neighborhood as you and “sneak” up to your window so you could let him in. you enjoyed being rebellious, and he enjoyed humoring you. you loved watching sungchan pull himself up through the window into your room. sungchan would never admit it but he loved showing off how easy it was for him.

even in the dark of your room looking at his back you could see the tentative and concise movements. his white tee moved in tandem with his ministrations on your foot. the fact that he was perched at the end of your bed like a little bird while being gigantic never ceased to amaze you. he carried himself similarly to a large puppy. so innocent and playful, while not knowing his true size. there were moments where he would lay on you and you would have to pinch him to get him off. he often picked you up like you weighed nothing, and you still weren’t sure if he knew how you felt when he’d lean against a wall looking down at you. the only illumination from the television helped you see through the negative space in his shirt. did he even know his muscles rippled underneath that white tee, that his shoulders were so broad?

you almost felt guilty when he turned around and smiled at you laughing at a funny part in the show. 

“this show is hilarious, babe.” sungchan told you, shaking your feet slightly for emphasis.

“it is but you can’t be too loud my parents might hear you.” you said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. you wanted to jump his bones more than anything, but you atleast had to give the illusion that you weren’t completely objectifying your boyfriend behind his back.

“oh you’re right. i completely forgot.” sungchans voice went completely down to a whisper and that made you smile. he turned back to the show and started massaging your calves.

“you’re really tense.” he whispered.

“sungchan.” you whispered matching his volume.

“hmm?” he looked at you again with his pretty brown eyes. “want me to go back to your feet?”

“can you come up here instead?” it was a struggle to sound neutral. something was in the air, you usually weren’t this desperate. 

sungchan gently set your legs back on the bed and crawled over to you. he sat up next to you leaning on the headboard. it felt like there was an awkward blanket surrounding you two. it was strange, even during the awkwardness in between moments of intimacy you still felt adrenaline bubbling underneath your skin.  he was your boyfriend, intimacy wasn’t new to either of you but it always felt like the first time without fail. maybe that comes with the territory of being young and in love, you feel on fire constantly. 

you put a hand on his thigh, patting him trying to break through the moment. sungchan instantly puts his hand over yours.

“thanks for the massage. and for picking me up from work. and for sneaking through my window.” you grab his hand and kiss it. sungchan slowly sinks down from sitting on the headboard to lay next to you. 

“no problem. i love doing stuff for you.” he said it with no hesitation. like it was his second nature. maybe he really was a puppy.

you slowly leaned forward to kiss his nose. it was a simple peck you pulled back as soon as you went in. when you saw sungchan’s face get a little red. you two held contact like that for what seemed like centuries. both chests heaving in anticipation, grinning ear to ear like idiots. him looking down at your lips gave you the confidence to go back in for a kiss right on his lips. 

sungchan immediately took control of the situation, putting a gentle hand on your cheek to pull you closer. the other hand rested on the nape of your neck, as a guide to help you deepen the kiss. your hands opted to rest on a shoulder with his shirt in a vice grip. your teeth occasionally clashed together, not used to this slightly awkward angle. you reluctantly pulled away. sungchan’s hands still rested on your body. his lips were swollen and had a pinker tint than usual. 

“is something wrong?” his blown out pupils only made his eyes more expressive, slightly worried he went overboard.

“can you sit up?” 

“yes. of course.” sungchan said a little too quickly propping himself on his arms while his back leaned against the headboard. you could see his curious face light up from the television as it cut to another scene. whatever was showing was long forgotten as you put your legs on either side of him. 

your bout of courage to straddle sungchan subsided. now he was the one looking up at you, mouth slightly open. sungchan always looked at you with such awe and curiosity. how did he land in your bed with you on top of him, guiding his hands to your hips? he knew he was the luckiest man on earth when you pulled him close to kiss him again. you pulled him in, desperate to get a close as possible. sungchans hands moved to the small of your back. you could feel his large warm hands resting there, splayed out to cover the most area possible. when you put your tongue in his mouth his hands on your back pulled you in.

you two were chest to chest. sungchan tilted his head to get a better angle. you will admit you were still clumsily going through the motions of kissing. you weren’t sure when to tilt your head like sungchan was doing his, or how to properly incorporate your tongue into kissing. all you knew was that you were ravaging him, not able to get enough. you knew sungchan felt the same way because his arms wrapped around you, caging you in. he had you surrounded the best way possible. the need running through your veins gave you another dose of courage to grind against him. sungchan broke through the sound of kissing with a moan. you began letting out breathy pants and whimpers. you were desperate to let him know you were enjoying everything.

sungchan’s hands were now on your waist. you two had taken a break from kissing to rest forehead to forehead looking in eachothers eyes. sungchan looked at you, not breaking eye contact as he slowly pressed you down on the hardness in his pants. you let out another moan, nodding your head and gripping his shoulders. he looked down where you two were touching, mouth agape. 

you could no longer kiss him, too focused on trying to swivel your hips to feel that pressure. sungchan’s grip on you was only getting tighter, his breathy moans becoming more frequent.

you leaned back moving your hands to grip his thighs. using your leverage you were able to control the pace and feel every inch of him. his gray sweatpants and your pajama bottoms allowed both of you to feel the pressure. your head lulled back when sungchan helped you slowly drag against his whole length. when you looked back up sungchan was staring at you. he looked ready to eat you then and there, eyes low and staring directly into yours.

“i can do this all night,” sungchan said, a smile breaking on his lips “you’re so good at this.”

“take your shirt off.” you pushed yourself off his thighs and went to the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up. sungchan lifted his arms up and took off his shirt with one hand. you moaned and began rubbing your hands all over his body. so defined, brought on by hours of discipline and exercise. everything about sungchan was so hot you could barely control yourself anymore.

“you want it bad, huh?” sungchan teased. his hands dipped underneath your pajama pants to grab handfuls of your ass. he used the grip to move you against his length again. “no underwear.”

“i never wear underwear to bed.” you said. sungchan throbbed underneath you. “and you’re the one that picked me up dressed like a slut.”

sungchan’s laugh boomed in your room. you were knocked out of your current state to bring a hand to his mouth. you didn’t pull your hand away until he had stopped laughing. you smiled on instinct, despite trying to be authoritative.

“a slut?” sungchan made sure to whisper.

“a white tee and gray sweatpants is the sluttiest thing a man can wear.” you said with a serious face but you couldn’t stop the tone from coming out jokingly.

“so you were degrading your poor sweet boyfriend while he was rubbing your feet?” sungchan tried to pout, but the way he pulsed in between you let you know he liked it.

“oh but i’m very grateful.” you smiled, slowly resuming movement of your hips. sungchan caught on quick, his big hands moving to guide you again.

after building the tension back, sungchan pulled you in for another kiss and you happily obliged. it wasn’t long until you could feel the wetness seep through your thing pajama shorts. you knew that evidence of your arousal would be all over sungchans sweatpants.

“i’m really wet.” you whimpered in between kisses. 

“can i see?” sungchan pulled at your waistband, letting it hit snap back against your skin. your body was on fire as you nodded, moving your body backwards on the bed. sungchan moved to a sitting position, trying to give you as much room in front of him as possible. it was almost awkward moving backwards in a crab walk position, but sungchan’s hand on your knee egged you on.

once in a good position you propped yourself up on your elbows and with your knees raised slowly opened your legs more and more. sungchan watched attentively, swiping his finger over your clothes slit. 

“wow,” he sounded amazed. “you’re so wet.”

sungchan’s finger went back to your pants. rubbing up and down slowly. your body twitched in response, the teasing becoming too much.

“can i turn on the lamp? i wanna see you.” sungcchan’s other hand that was on your bent knee rubbed soothing circles, trying to get you as comfortable as possible. 

“yeah you can.” 

sungchan turned his body to your bedside lamp. without his hand on your knee, you instinctively let your knees come together, trying to cover your lower half. 

the light came on and you were suddenly hyperaware of the growing wet spot on your pants and sungchan’s sweats. you could also get a better view of sungchan’s body, his abs flexing as his hand went back to your knee.

“you’re so cute.” sungchan said smiling. his reassuring hand gave you the confidence to spread your legs again. he went back to drawing his finger up and down your vagina. sungchan honed in on your clit, the bundle of nerves that was slightly protruding out. you couldn’t stop the moan from coming out and he slowly circled your clit.

“feels really good sungchan.” you wanted to close your legs again on his hand in efforts to keep it in place till you reached your climax. but sungchan’s hand was steady on your knee, with just enough force to keep them apart.

“can i take these off?” sungchan asked quietly and he reached for your waistband again. you nodded and lifted your hips up, giving him the room he needed to slide your bottoms off of you. 

sungchan sucked in a breath as all of you was put on display for him. you weren’t sure if you were imagining things but you swear you could see him twitch in his pants. sungchan was staring at your center, both of his hands running up and down your thighs. he slowly pressed his hands on either side of your inner thighs, forcing you to spread apart more. now you were really on display for him.

“you like what you see?” you asked playfully. the tent in his pants was making you feel powerful.

“i love it.” sungchan sounded breathless as he stared at your center. his dick clearly jumped in his sweatpants as his hands got closer and closer to your heat.

“you off your pants so i can see how much you love it.” you used your fingers to spread your pussy out even more, showing him how you were clenching around nothing. 

sungchan took his pants off quickly, heeding your request. his dick bobbed up and down, resting on his stomach. it was solid and hard, a little bit of precum dripping from his tip. 

he let his legs spread out on your bed, making his body even larger than before. he looked like a sculpture, each muscle carved delicately carved out in stone.

“you look like a painting, babe.” sungchan spoke like he had just ran a mile. his hair was haphazardly pushed back, he didn’t even want to take the time to move his hair out of the way if it meant taking away from looking at you. “just for me to look at.”

“only for you.” you moaned pushing up your pajama shirt to reveal your boobs. you touched them tentatively, already so sensitive.

sungchan is the most articulate person you know. you just didn’t mean speaking, though. sungchan is always very purposeful with every action, sentence, and to you it seemed like even his thoughts were well managed. you always reveled in his discipline, especially when he would describe to you his day. school, workout, homework, eat, sleep. he was always very in control of everything while also being the warmest personality in the room. sungchan’s control was one of his strong suit, so it always took you by surprise when an action or unregulated thought slipped through the cracks.

he was also very considerate. he never wanted to make you feel pressured to do anything, to the point where he would never initiate touching first. so when sungchan’s face heated up in embarrassment after telling you he masturbates to the thought of you like this, all spread out and on display for him, your face heated up too.

“sorry. i didn’t mean to say that.” sungchan smiled sheepishly. you couldn’t stop imagining him in the confines of his room, thinking of you while he touched himself.

“c-can you show me how you touch yourself when i’m not there?” you slowly pulled your finger in and out of yourself, gathering as much slick as you could. sungchan watched you carefully as you dragged your finger on the underside of his dick, giving him extra lubrication to jerk himself off.

sungchan got the hint quickly. he spread the precum on his tip and your slick together up and down his length. after an experimental stroke he slowly leaned forward, bringing his hand to your face. you looked at him in confusion.

“spit.” sungchan said, the most impatient you’ve ever seen him.

after letting some spit dribble from your mouth, sungchan brought the same hand to his mouth and spat roughly. 

sungchan let out a ragged breath and he gently stroked himself, slowly at first. he looked at his hard dick fisted in his hand then looked to you. he kept eye contact and you looked everywhere as you watched him in awe. his stomach flexed with each stroke, his slow hand making himself twitch. his arm was picking up a slow but steady pace, and you watched as his index finger spread the precum from his tip around.

you have never seen anything like sungchan, and the way his pupils were blown out he must’ve thought the same thing about you. you fully took off your pajama shirt, letting him get a full view of your naked body. sungchan moaned, quickening his pace slightly letting his head fall back. 

“what do you think about when i’m not there?” you asked. this brought sungchan’s gaze back to you. you were tempted to start fingering yourself, but you were too caught up in watching sungchan chase his pleasure.

“i think abouttt—fuck. i think about your body.” his voice was so close to becoming whiny, still trying to keep his composure for you. 

“what about my body?” you asked. you began applying pressure to your clit, trying to egg sungchan on.

“your boobs. your ass. your curves. everything about you is so perfect.” sungchan used his spare hand to wrap around your thigh. as quick as his hands were on you, he pulled you closer to him. you were so close to him now. he guided his penis to slap your spread pussy. you gasped out loud at the sudden action. “i think about this pussy the most, though.”

sungchan went back to jerking himself off, you couldn’t help but slip a finger into your heat.

“i think about you all the time too.” you confessed. you were desperate to catch up to where sungchan was. his pace was steadily increasing as he watched you finger yourself.

“what do you think about?” sungchan asked curiously, looking at you finger yourself. “put another finger in, baby.”

“your hands,” you said while putting in a second finger. “they’re so soft and longer than mine.”

“you can’t hit all the spots that i can, huh?” sungchan smiled down at you. he took a hand that was gripping your thigh to reach down and rub circles over your clit.

“n-no. it doesn’t feel as good when i do it either.” you were squirming underneath him. between your fingers and his, you weren’t gonna last much longer. 

sungchan noticed you getting closer and closer. he had completely abandoned jerking himself off to keep a hand on your clit. you felt his other hand creep its way to your heat. when he slipped a finger into you as well, you couldn’t help but moan loudly.

“we gotta be quiet right?” sungchan looked down at you from the headboard. all you could do was nod and bite your lip. sungchan looked at your fucked out face, bending down to kiss your cheek. sungchan made an effort to pick up the pace of your fingers and his. 

“so cute,” sungchan smiled at your furrowed eyebrows, kissing the space in between. “it’s kinda like we are holding hands.” he put an emphasis on his words by touching your fingers. it was all so lewd. the squelching, the moans, the fact that you could feel yourself clenching around you and sungchan’s fingers. 

“i’m close.” you whimpered.

“i got you.” sungchan increased the circles on your clit and you quickly grabbed his dick, jerking him off.

“i want to fuck you so bad.” you moaned, swiveling your hips. his finger was so close to hitting that spot deep inside of you, the one that was just for him.

“no condom babe, gotta be responsible.” sungchan was laughing at you in your desperate state. him laughing at you only made you more desperate, something about the way he mockingly pouted over your neediness. you changed your motions to match how he was jerking himself earlier. his expressions changed almost immediately, getting harder in your hand.

“i’m close now too. keep going please.” sungchan bent his finger inside of you and you had to bite hard on your lip to hold it in. you brought a leg to his shoulder and he immediately attached his mouth to your calf, sucking on the skin.

you came first. it hit you suddenly when sungchan pulled your fingers out and added another one of his. you ended up pulling him closer with your legs, making him bend over. sungchan’s head rested on your stomach as you rode his fingers, one hand on his shoulder digging into the skin. he let out sympathetic whimpers to match your moans. he kept murmuring “i know, i know” as you came down from a high thats been building up for hours. 

when you were done, you used all strength left in your body to sit up, so you could kiss sungchan. his fingers were still inside of you and your hand was still on his dick. you kissed him deeply and started jerking him off again. you wanted him to finish, to see that same feeling of ecstasy that you got to experience.

“fuck.” sungchan pulled away and rested his face in the crook of your neck. “just like that.” he whined.

you kept going, and he took his fingers out of you to to let his hands touch all over your body. you felt his large hands grab your breasts, your sides, your ass, your shoulders, everything. sungchan started to whimper in your ear.

“im about to cum.”

you responded by picking up the speed. sungchan let out on final whimper and he started to slowly collapse against you and could feel his cum go down your hand, dripping on your thigh and core. he continued to whimper and moan in your ear as you quickened the pace.

“oh my god.” sungchan gripped your shoulders as he pulled away to look in between the space of your bodies. he could see the mess he was making on your thighs and core. he slowly leaned back against the headboard, whining as you kept going. “fuck fuck fuck.” 

you didn’t stop until sungchan pulled your hands away and put them at your sides. he was breathing so heavily, chest raising up and down. his eyes were wide open, clearly trying to come down from the overstimulation. seeing him in such a weak state made you want to keep going, but you couldn’t when he pulled you into his sweaty chest. you instead made a mental note of overstimulating your boyfriend in the near future. sungchan pulled you closer to his body and rubbed a soft hand up and down your back. this was his signal that he was done and spent for the night, wanting to cuddle with you and bring you close as possible. you turned around, so sungchan was resting on your chest. you pulled him in even closer and you went to rubbing his head and playing with his hair, something you loved to do to calm him down.

“that was fun.” sungchan said, looking up at you from your chest.

“it was.”

you and sungchan were quiet for a few moments, just holding eachother.

“do you think your parents heard us?”

#seriez: bases #01zfan: sungchan #sungchan smut #riize smut

[audhd-nightwing]

batfam as new girl quotes

steph: where are you, tim? this place is fancy and i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.

***

dick (16 y/o): i’ll take you through the whole thing. i’ll be like your guide.

jason (13 y/o): like gandalf through middle-earth?

dick: ok, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.

jason: except smeagol. he lives in a cave.

***

tim: you text me “happy monday.” what am i supposed to do with that?

damian: oh, i don’t know. maybe have a happy monday?

(he’s trying to be nice)

***

jason: would you consider us adorable?

dick: no! we’re adult men.

dick: we’re cute.

***

cass: you always see the worst in people.

damian: yeah, because people are the worst!

***

steph: i mean, bruce, we love you, but…

steph: but you’re not a man of the people.

bruce: of course i’m not a man of the people. i’m above the people.

***

cass: we’re a family. families talk about things.

jason: no, families ignore things until they go away.

***

new parent bruce: dick, do you want to go to sleep?

9 y/o dick: no way.

bruce: if you do, i’ll write you a check for $6,000.

***

duke: what are you doing in here?

tim: eating cookies and avoiding confrontation.

(in the bathroom at a gala)

***

steph: jason, come on, that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.

jason: they’re not best friends.

steph: come on. everybody knows they’re best friends.

***

dick: i’m in love!

damian: titus, clear my schedule. i need a word with our brother.

***

steph: duke, those shoes are not brown! they’re green!

duke: you guys are idiots! they’re as brown as money.

cass: what color is kermit the frog?

duke: brown! he’s a brown frog.

tim: duke! you’re color blind, dude.

***

bruce: darn it! has anyone seen my croquet cleats?

***

tim: hey guys, do you think i’m a good person?

steph: you’re a terrible person. it’s hilarious.

***

dick: i’m very quick on my… uh…

jason: did you just forget the word ‘feet’?

dick: feet, yeah.

(he’s been awake for 72 hours without sleep)

***

duke: i can’t believe i didn’t notice this before but damian, you are legitimately crazy.

damian: i think we’re all a little bit crazy, don’t you, thomas?

duke: no, i mean, you’re like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, professional magician crazy.

damian: it’s my grandfather’s fault.

duke: yeah okay fair enough

***

tim: if i was doing something stupid, you definitely would be involved.

dick: yeah, you’re damn right i would be. and i would probably be there to make it even stupider.

***

bruce: has anyone seen my good pea coat?

***

steph: i brake for birds. i rock a lot of polka dots. i have touched glitter in the last 24 hours!

steph: and that doesn’t mean i’m not smart and tough and strong.

***

jason: are you insane, bruce? we’re not ready.

jason: that’s like taking a musical from rehearsals straight to broadway. you got to workshop it first.

(pushing the theatre kid jason agenda)

***

dick: you realize i say goodnight to you every night and you never say goodnight back?

dick: what is the problem, jason? do you not want me to have a good night?

jason: oh my god you’re so overdramatic

***

tim: please don’t mistake my measured blank tone for calmness, as i am filled with waters of rage.

(he’s at a gala)

***

bruce: damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!

***

duke: what a dumb idea.

duke: do it.

(he is an enabler)

#dc comics #dcu #batfam #batfamily #the batfamily #incorrect quotes #new girl quotes #dick grayson #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #batkids #the bats #batman comics #dc #batman

[gay-dorito-dust]

pls more modern!au zuko x reader🥹

Probably has a pet lizard that he called Iroh Jr -adorably nicknamed little dragon- because his uncle is the person who gifted him the lizard, and zuko felt it fitting to name it after the man who had practically raised him while spoiling it rotten all the time.

Has perfected your favourite drink right down to a science. He knows he’s not great a brewing tea like Iroh, despite how much his uncle tried to save his feelings after taking the first sip, Zuko didn’t need much else to tell him that his brewing abilities could use some work.

He’s a determined boy who doesn’t give up so easily. Yeah he’d naturally get annoyed and feel as though he’d have a better time giving up than go ahead with another failed attempt. However uncle Iroh saw this determination and encouraged his nephew in his endeavours and remained calm and patient when Zuko grew agitated and annoyed by the lack of progress.

Zuko did get there soon enough and now whenever you came to the tea shop, Zuko could finally make your drink a hell of a lot better than most tea shops could. He’s proud of this fact and will unironically puff his chest like a proud bird when you praised his tea brewing skills, noting just how better they’ve gotten overtime.

Another date idea would be tea brewing with his uncle, while it might not sound like a date but trust me it very much is after Iroh decides to leave Zuko to teach you how to brew tea, which ends in you two coming up with silly, stupid names for your brews that ultimately ends in tears due to how hard you’ve laughed.

Oh Zuko defiantly introduced you to Iroh jr and needless to say it’s become a running joke that you only come to his house just to see his pet lizard, who is equally as attached to you as you are to him. Zuko will pout and huff like a little child at the fact that he didn’t have your undivided attention, but loves the bond you’ve made with Iroh jr nonetheless and finds it’s adorable.

Am I insinuating that’s he got pictures of your interactions? Oh yes indeed I am.

Zuko has probably been to an arcade once and never again because he got bested by a little kid at the claw machine, who had won the plush that he wanted to win for you easily. It was hilarious to bear witness to it all, but you were stuck with a sulking Zuko, who needed a lot of praise and comfort afterwards that you were more than willing to give him.

You: you tried your best babe.

Zuko: but it wasn’t enough, you had your eye on that plush and I failed to get it.

You: it’s okay because I’ve got the perfect alternative.

Zuko: and what’s that?

*You then proceed to hug him tightly and kiss his cheek as steam practically emitted from him and smile* I’ve got you.

Zuko: o-okay!

#zuko x y/n #zuko imagine #zuko imagines #zuko x you #zuko fanfic #zuko x reader #atla x you #atla x reader #atla imagine #atla imagines #atla fanfic

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Hi Alex!

I don’t think it’s stupid or cheesy to miss someone, I miss you too! Going back to normal after being on holiday is always horrible, especially after this one, and especially having to go back to school, I’m not a big fan! Do you go to school too? I wanted to ask if you did but I couldn’t… it’s nothing personal, by the way, sometimes I just can’t speak to people and I don’t really know why. I thought it was my decision if I did or didn’t before I met you but maybe not. My parents n’ the teachers at school call it selective mutism but I won’t bore you with all that crap.

I can’t see your new teeth but they grow fast so maybe next time! If they don’t maybe you could get some gold one’s like your dad has, unless you don’t wanna look like a pirate lol.. my littlest sister has four teeth now, and I have all my big teeth! I haven’t counted the twins though cos they’d probably bite me if I tried haha!!

Ava is the tiny one with the blonde pigtails! She’s cute but she still sleeps and poops a lot haha, she’s sorta chill though and definitely doesn’t cry as much as Wren and Byrd used to (have you noticed we’re all named after birds yet? I guess my parents thought it was cute since our last name is Finch) Wren’s the ginger one with plaits! She’s pretty funny but she’s super grumpy sometimes and likes to bite and kick (not me though, she loves me) I think it’s cos she’s tired a lot cos she never sleeps at night, kinda like dad.. they’re twins but Byrd is way different, I couldn’t get a picture of him cos he kept running off, he’s crazy like that but he’s super snuggly and loves playing doctor! He likes to pretend to break my legs so I can’t go anywhere then fix them for me haha. Brothers and sisters are fun but they can be a pain in the butt sometimes! We have a cat called Lou too, his full name is Toulouse and he likes to bring us leaves from the garden and scream about ‘em, and he loves stealing food when you’re not looking.

Dad’s been teaching mom how to cook cos she sucks at it (don’t tell her I said that though cos I always pretend it’s not THAT bad) she’s sorta getting better though so I suppose the whole practice makes perfect thing pays off eventually. I got a school project to make a lame volcano that I didn’t wanna do as well, but my parents made me do it anyway.. we all know that real volcanoes aren’t full of baking powder and vinegar though so I dunno if there was much point to it but they seemed to think it was important so I did it anyway, at least I got a picture of it “going off” I guess. No one likes homework, even if it’s supposed to be fun, right?!

It’s cool you set Amber free!! I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is now so I guess you could just think of that when you miss her? The rocks are way cooler anyway! My aunt Aspen has loads of crystals too, sometimes she even charges them in the sun or the full moon.. I keep forgetting to ask her why but I’ll try and remember so I can tell you next time!

Hahaa your poor dad with those birds! I’ll definitely keep the picture cos it’s hilarious, Wren found it the funniest but don’t worry, I’ll keep the picture safe from her sticky hands! I have a hiding spot in the attic for all the stuff I don’t want them touching. I guess birdwatching is sorta fun sometimes but you’ve gotta be quiet (easy for me I guess.. hah!) I’m not sure there’s any other birds round here other than seagulls since we live right next to the sea, those are the ones you can hear the most anyway cos they never shut up! My dad jokes that he used to be a seagull in a past life cos he’s loud and greedy like they are lol.. he’s been building me a treehouse too, I bet that’d be good for birdwatching!! It’ll be super cool once he’s finished but it’s taking ages cos he mostly does it all by himself, I try n’ help sometimes but I’m still too small to carry or lift most things.. I wanna be as strong as him one day, he can build and fix almost anything (he swears a lot during it though haha!) Do you ever think about what you wanna be when you grow up? I don’t really think about that sorta stuff cos working sounds boring, especially if it’s as lame as school!!

I’m ten, by the way! How old are you and when’s your birthday? Mine’s February 22nd. I don’t think I have a favourite food, anything my dad makes is amazing cos he’s a good cook and my mom makes the BEST pancakes! We’re always stuffed after dinner but dad says (lies) that pudding goes in a different part of your stomach so there’s always room for cake haha.. I think I like it best when he makes spicy food but Wren and Byrd hate it so he doesn’t make stuff like that too often. It’s fun to see how much you can eat before your mouth feels like it’s on fire and I’ve decided I’m gonna beat him one day so he better watch out!!!

I didn’t know what to write at first but I guess I sorta ended up writing quite a lot since I had some catching up to do! Are you and your dad on holiday in the tower or are you living there for now? It sorta sounded like you’ve been there a long time, where do you usually live? What kinda stuff does your dad dig up for work? It’d be cool if he dug up dinosaur bones!! I watched something like that recently and they were HUGE!

It’s hard to think of questions on the spot but you can talk about anything you want too! I probably owe you a million answers as well so you can ask anything you want too! I had fun reading your letter and I’m glad we can be pen-pals even if we don’t get to see each other! Maybe next time we meet in person I’ll be able to say something, but writing would still be fun too so I guess it doesn’t really matter, right?

Love Robin c:

ps. I’m keeping the funny photo of you yelling at your dad and there’s nothing you can do about it!!

pps!! I don’t have a way to print out photos yet otherwise I’d have sent some new ones. Dad gave me an old polaroid ages ago but it’s still broken, his friend said he might be able to fix it though so hopefully I can use that next time. Mom said you can have some of our old ones and the ones from her disposable camera whilst we were on holiday for now though so I’ll send those to you as soon as they come back!

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #robin finch #alexandra sampson #brodie sampson #wren finch #byrd finch #ava finch #ᓚᘏᗢ #love it when kids are like LOOK n shove stuff so close to ur face u can't see shit #😆 #sdkjsk robin doesn't know what to write #also robin.. writes a ten page essay #bless him #he could finally 'talk'!!! #🤸‍♀️

[peetapeetapumpkineata]

LUCKY

Peeta Mellark X AFAB!reader

Summary: you're worried about him during the quarter quell

Tags: fluff, slight angst, insecure little Peeta baby😔, kissing, one or two innuendos, three uses of y/n, established relationship (your in Katniss's place, obvi)

wc: 3.134k

Notes: there is definitely not enough Peeta fics!! I'm also working on a hijacked Peeta fic based off of one of my favorite songs! (idk when I'll finish it). Enjoy! also reposting this since it flopped

---------------------------༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶-------------------------------

It had been three hours since Peeta hit the force field and Finnick had to resuscitate him.

You have been keeping a frantic eye on him, just in case there was another deadly object he wants to bump into (silly lil Peeta. You can’t take him anywhere fr fr). 

“y/n- I swear I'm fine. You don't have to keep watching me.” Peeta mumbles and glances at you.

“I know, I'm just scared.. Maybe you shouldn’t be so clumsy.” you tease, trying to calm some of your nerves.

“Ok, ok. I get it. I thought everyone knew I was the weak one in the alliance.” he chuckles and shakes his head.

 “What do you mean? You’re not weak, Peeta. You won the games.” you look at him and raise your eyebrow.

“Are you sure? I won the games because of you. I was just.. Lucky.” he looks back at you and shrugs.

“Lucky? Peeta, I’m the lucky one. We probably wouldn’t have made it together if you didn’t find those berries.” you sigh and scoot closer to him. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you gently. “y/n.. Just because I found some berries, doesn’t mean I’m not weak. I’m just a baker.. You deserve someone who can take care of you.”

You gently grab his chin and turn his head to face you. “But you can. You’re the only person I feel safe with. And I like that you’re a baker. It makes you more adorable.” you giggle softly and stare into his eyes. 

“You’re just saying that.” he blushes faintly and rolls his eyes playfully.

“No, I'm not.” you brush away a piece of his hair and shake your head.

He smiles at you and wraps his other arm around you.

You rest your head in his lap and lean against him, smiling back up at him as he strokes your hair. 

“So it's true. I guess the ‘star-crossed lovers’ are actually real.” Finnick snorts, nudging Johanna next to him.

“Isn't it obvious? I thought it was hilariously clear when she started whaling on him and shouting at all of us after his heart stopped.” Johanna laughs, nudging him back.

“I thought she was gonna start punching me after i gave him mouth to mouth.” He laughs with her, glancing at the two of you.

“‘Peeta! Peeta! Omg Peeeetaa!!’” Johanna mimics you, laughing even harder with Finnick.

You glare at them and sit up from his lap. “Do you two ever shut up?”

“Oh please, we all know how you got that ‘baby’ inside you.” He grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes and scoff. “You two make me sick.”

“Whatever, lover girl.” they laugh again and walk back over to the rest of the group

You sigh and lean back against him “I can’t stand them sometimes.” 

“Me either.. I just wish they would give us some time to ourselves.” he mumbles and kisses you on the forehead. 

“‘Wanna go for a walk? For a break?” you smile and raise your eyebrow

“Yeah, why not?” he smile back at you and stands up

“Hey ‘love birds’! Come back with another bun in the oven so we can get some sponsors, eh?” Finnick shouts and laughs harder. 

“Don't make me shoot you!” you shout back and grab his hand as you head deeper into the jungle.

You lean against a tree next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “I miss home so much. I would do anything to have your cinnamon buns one last time before my stupid inevitable death.”

“Cmon y/n, you’re not gonna die. I’ll make sure of it.” he strokes the side of your head with his thumb. “Once we get home together, I’m gonna make you your own batch.” he chuckles and pecks the top of your head softly.

“Peeta, you know it's practically impossible to get out of this together, right?” you glance up at his face and smile sadly.

“I know, but I'm willing to risk those odds. I’m sure I'm lucky enough” he smiles back at you and moves his hand from your hair to your cheek.

You grin and pull him into a soft kiss. Not a forced one, for the cameras or for the capitol. A real kiss. 

“you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to.” he says after you pull away.

“I know.” you nod and kiss him again.

---------------------------༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶-------------------------------

#peeta mellark #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x you #peeta mellark fluff #peeta mellark angst #the hunger games #thg #josh hutcherson #sean anderson #clapton davis #derek danforth #journey to the center of the earth #clapton davis x reader #sean anderson x reader #derek danforth x reader #fluff #fan fiction #angst #smutt

[semisolidmind]

That anon made me think about a hypothetical scenario of Peng trying to move up on Reader, but tbh I don't think Peng would EVER stand a chance against the twice as bad AU monkey husband duo.

Azure contantly gets the L but he is nice to Reader + he's friends enough with the two warlords to not make them immediately consider killing him if he treats Reader a lil too nicely in the beginning.

He's suspicious but he's a likeable guy, so it's not too weird of him to be genuinely polite to the queen of FFM.

Peng, though? bro's getting COOKED. literally. He's not slick like Azure, if he tried anything it'd be over for him. He's a bird-shaped mean girl, so it would immediately draw suspicion on everyone if he suddenly started being super nice to Reader after being so vocal of his disapproval towards a human queen.

I bet Wukong and Macaque (especially macaque since peng likes antagonizing him so much) would love to have a reason to destroy him in a fight 💀

FR.

like, this feathery fuck could make that mental and emotional switch from "ugh, mortals" to "but this one's kinda ok/how funny would it be to steal her" and you can bet the boys (but mostly macaque) would be on them in a second. there is no way they wouldn't clock the birds' intent the minute the bastard sidles up to reader. they sorta trust azure, they're fine with yellowtusk, but the monkeys KNOW that you canNOT trust peng.

any time the bird has the chance to get reader alone, macaque makes sure to be there or at least within striking distance. he knows reader doesn't trust peng either (and why would she, after their history of shit talking and belittling her), so he's not worried about her falling for any smooth talking, but he is worried that they might cross a line.

i could see this situation coming to a head with peng making some sort of big move on reader, mac hears it and stops it, then challenges them to a fight (like a serious challenge, to the death kinda shit).

and while wukong wants to make that bird into a roast as much as his brother, he knows that it'll be important for macaque to beat the shit out of peng by himself. despite knowing how dangerous the monkey bros can be, peng continued to poke and prod and test the limits of macaque's patience. the monkey king won't deprive his brother of getting to serve some well-deserved comeuppance. in fact, he makes a sort of show of it, announcing the fight and inviting his allies to watch.

the battle is a brutal one. normally wukong is the one to fly into a jealous rage at any slight against reader, while mac is the one to keep a cool head. but this time, the shadowy simian lets aaaaall that carefully controlled anger out in a truly vicious display of power. the bird demon has a tough time keeping up with their rival's attacks. though both combatants take some heavy hits, it's clear that peng is losing.

like. macaque could beat peng to death here, and there really wouldn't be anything anyone could do. the bird broke a rule. they pissed off the wrong demon at the wrong time. given their history, nobody has any reason to stop macaque from slaughtering his rival, and it'd be within his rights to kill them for disrespecting his wife. wukong finds it all far too hilarious to do anything but laugh at peng getting their ass handed to them, and reader knows it's going too far but won't speak on peng's behalf (both because she doesn't like them and she feels like she has no right to deprive mac of his revenge).

azure would have to beg a pardon on behalf of his stupid chicken of a sworn brother before they actually die.

wukong is hesitant to grant it. azure knows what that birdbrain did. they laid hands on the monkey king's queen, and he knows wukong has killed others for far less. that miserable pile of feathers should consider themselves lucky that the monkey king hasn't joined in on their punishment. if azure didn't want his lackey to get beaten bloody, he should've kept them in check. not to mention the fact that peng has had this macaque-issued beat down coming for a loooong time.

by the end of it, peng is nothing more than a crumpled pile of bloody feathers in the dirt. azure and yellowtusk have to scrape them off the ground and portal back to camel ridge in disgrace and defeat. they don't show their faces on flower fruit mountain for a good long while.

as for macaque...despite being clawed, tired, and a little bruised, he reigns victorious. in his adrenaline induced stupor, still covered in dirt and blood, he storms right up to reader and steals a nice, long kiss. it leaves her lightheaded, his hands on her the only thing keeping her up. he huskily promises that they'll "celebrate his victory" later. reader feels a little faint.

wukong would normally protest his brother getting peaches all to himself, but after that fight? eh, he's earned it.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #i do like an afterbattle kiss #where the one fighting pours all that energy and desperation into a good deep smooch #good stuff right there

[joshsjipple]

Lions and Tigers and Bears

SAM KISZKA X FEMALE READER

A/N: Thank you so much for the love on my last two posts! It truly means so much, I love you all! As a token of my appreciation, here's some Sam.

Word Count: 3.7k

WARNINGS: 18+ as always! graphic sexual content, angst, rough sex, sassy sam, unprotected sex (i'm awful, i'm sorry) dirty talk, oral sex (m/f/rec), fingering, overstimulation, daddy kink, small sir kink, slapping, slight choking, language, breeding kink, cum play if you squint, degradation, minor cock warming, p in v, some dom sam etc etc.

╰┈•┈୨୧┈•┈╯

Your brows furrow at the man sitting across from you. You should be happier, considering it's your spring break and you and your closest friends pulled together enough money to drive a giant RV across the US. In fact, you’re sitting in Arizona, a beer in your hand, a fire in front of you, and a blanket of stars above you.

But you’re not happy. You’re far from it actually. 

It was Grant’s idea to invite Sam Kiszka in the first place. You know Sam, everyone knows Sam. He’s the campus’s princess, half because he’s pretty like a woman, half because he plays gigs for the frat parties. But no one sees how he is with you, the snarky rude comments, and insulting looks. You can barely stand him.

He sits on the other side of the fire, giving you a perfect view of his stupid face. He’s blabbering about something no one cares about, his hands flying around his area. You hope he smacks himself in the face. 

You’re usually not this feral towards him. You two clearly don’t get along, but it’s not like you fight like cats and dogs all the time. As you drink from your can of beer and watch Sam continue his story, you think back to this morning.

It’s 8:00 am, and being the only early bird on the bus, you sit sipping your coffee outside the trailer in a lawn chair. The sun is stretching across the horizon for miles, blessing your tan legs with its warmth. Birds chirp around you, the wind barely blowing. This is what you were made for. 

As you connect your lips to the rim of your glass, the door opens behind you. You’re surprised to see someone up and quickly turn around to see who will be joining you. Of course it’s Sam. You turn around rather quickly and sigh to yourself. You hear him scoff behind you, pretending to take offense to your actions.

“Ouch, that hurt.” he says.

“Oh please.” you say, sipping from your glass. “What are you doing up so early anyways?”

“Going for a run.” he explains, moving next to you and tossing his dirty running shoes in your lap.

The dried mud from his previous run breaks off the soles of the platforms, falling apart in your lap. A few clumps splash into your coffee and you feel your blood begin to boil. Quickly, you begin scraping the dirt off your black shorts.

“What the fuck, Sam!” you screech, picking up his shoes and throwing them at his stomach. He covers his abdomen and laughs in victory, clearly enjoying the whole situation. His annoying laugh only seems to anger you even more. What the fuck is his deal? “Is this funny or something?” You fume, throwing chunks of dirt at him.

“It’s hilarious.” he admits, still laughing. 

“You’re such a child.” you shout, noticing the dirt in your drink. “It’s in my coffee, Sam!”

“It’s in my coffee, Sam.” he mocks you, making air quotes. 

“Why the fuck did you even come? No one wants you here, you just always have to interrupt, don’t you?” you yell. 

Sam freezes before you, the corner of his lips tugging into a grin. “What do you mean? You want me here.”

“In your dreams.” you roll your eyes although your heart beats a bit faster. 

“I came to keep you on your feet. It ruins me knowing you’re having a good time.” he crosses his arm.

You pause. “I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not.”

“Oh, I’m not. You get everything you want. You’re a spoiled brat who treats everyone around you like shit. So yeah, I begged Grant to let me come so I could make you fucking miserable. And look, it’s working.” he spits.

You’re raging at this point, your breathing is noisy. Without thinking, you toss your glass of iced coffee at him. He jumps, but it’s too late. The liquid coats his outfit quickly, his skin becoming even darker with the added residue. His face is a bright red, his teeth gritted together tightly as he stares at you in disbelief. 

“I’m the child?” he throws your words in your face, his nostrils flared.

You regret it immediately but it’s too late to go back so you march inside, slamming the door dramatically behind you. You and Sam’s bickering must have woken up your friend, Tiffany, because she’s standing in front of you in her robe. Her jaw drops as she looks out the window to see a very drenched and very pissed Sam. She glares at you like a mother silently scolding her kid.

Just thinking about the situation again makes your heart beat faster. And there he is, sitting so innocently, making everyone laugh at his jokes. Of course he’s the loved one, while you’re getting the silent treatment from half your friends for trying to ‘sabotage’ the trip. Bull shit. This trip was ruined the second Sam got on the bus.

You jump out of your thoughts, deciding to pay attention to whatever is so funny. Sam’s all smiles, his hand resting on the girl’s knee beside him. She laughs loudly. Nothing Sam says could ever be that funny. 

“I mean, I didn’t know it happened. I walk out of the shower with my towel around my waist saying ‘where’s everyone at?’” 

The girl, Abby, laughs again, her hand covering her mouth. Sam enjoys it, and watches her through the gleam in his eyes. Motherfucker. Without meaning to, you scoff and roll your eyes. It must have been louder than you thought, because the laughter around you subsides and all eyes fall on you.

“Is something wrong, Y/N?” Sam cocks his head to the side. You glance around before settling in on your drink. “No please, enlighten us.” Sam challenges, removing his hand from Abby and leaning on his knees.

You swallow, your attempt of remaining civil disappearing with our patience. You cross your legs and begin to speak. “Everyone knows that story's fake.”

“Is it? Hm, I didn’t know you were there. Then again, you are easy to forget about.”

“Sam!” Grant and Tiffany say in unison. Abby only giggles, scoring another point with Sam.

You grit your teeth together, a sheen of sweat covering your face. 

“Fuck you, Sam. Fuck you.” your voice cracks as you stand and disappear into the van for the second time today.

Angry, hot tears line your bottom eye-lid. You’re not upset by his words, you couldn’t care less, but it’s the way you can’t even defend yourself or you’ll be the one in dog house. 

You sit on your bed, hands in your lap and take a deep breath. You’re shocked when you hear the RV door open again. Expecting it to be Tiffany, you open the door before she knocks. To your utter dismay (and surprisement), Sam stands in front of you.

“For fuck’s sake.” you attempt to shut the door but his hand catches it and pushes it open, sending you falling backwards slightly. “Get out!”

“Nope.” he says, popping the ‘p.’ “Gotta work this out.”

“What do you mean? It’s literally all your fault.” You sit back on the bed and Sam shuts the door behind you before standing in front of your position.

“Is it?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“Yes!” you shout. He smirks at you, as if he knows he has some form of hold over you.

“I don’t know. I think I’d stop it if it didn’t have such an effect on you.'' His voice sounds like silver. You cross your legs, confused by feeling beginning to ache between your legs again. “Mhm, exactly. You think I don’t notice, but I do.”

He squats in front of you so you’re face to face. His eyes stare into you, burning a hole in your mind. “Notice what?” You hold your ground.

“This.” he taps his finger on your kneecap. The action sends knives shooting up your arm. You suck in a hasty breath and watch as Sam grins. “I bet you’re just pooling in your panties.” 

His words make your head spin. “I’m actually drier than I’ve ever been before.” You lie. He knows you’re lying by the way his tongue drifts over his bottom lip.

“Didn’t your parents ever teach you that lying never gets you anywhere?”

“Nope, because I’m spoiled.” you stick your tongue out at him.

“A spoiled brat. Get it right.” he purrs, his face inches from yours.

Your cheeks are a bright red, your stomach dancing with emotions. You’ve never been so turned on before, and the fact it’s Sam who’s causing it has you flabbergasted. Your eyes stare into Sam’s as you both fight for dominance. You cave, your eyes flickering down to his bare chest that his denim shirt leaves exposed. Your mouth falls open, and you pray Sam hasn’t caught it, but you know better.

“Interesting.” he says, placing his hand that was once on Abby’s thigh, on yours. His long fingers dance on your bare skin, fire sprouting wherever he touches. “You’re spoiled and used to getting everything you’ve ever wanted. I bet you’ve never even said ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ before. Am I right?”

You can barely understand him because the feeling of his calloused fingers digging into your thigh has blood rushing to your ears. Instead, you nod slowly.

“So I’m gonna ask you again. Are you pooling between your legs right now, Y/N?” 

The shit-eating grin on his face makes your jaw tighten. Still not ready to let him win, you shake your head no. Sam doesn’t like your answer so he grabs your cheeks with one hand and presses his face against yours. His breath is hot and your knees attempt to close. Sam’s leg stops that from happening. Immediately, you open your legs, allowing his knee to sit against your throbbing center. The contact makes you shutter. You move your hips slowly, hoping he will take it as an innocent movement.

“Fine, be a fucking brat. I can feel you on my knee right now, grinding yourself against it. Just say please and I’ll fuck you so good, baby.” he growls.

You’re shaking beneath him, fighting your own conscience on what to do next. After a minute of pooling in your own thoughts–and between your legs– you answer. “Please.” you squeak, barely above a whisper.

“Sorry, gonna have to speak up.” he toys with you, moving his knee just right so it scrapes against your clit.

“Fuck. Please, Sammy. Do something.”

Sam captures your mouth, his tongue slipping into your hot tunnel. They fight for dominance while your hands unbutton his shirt. Sam wins, and tears your top off of your chest, exposing your hard nipples. The cold air in your room has you gasping.

“You’re gonna buy me a new one.” You inform him as he stands above you to unbutton his jeans.

“Yeah right. Just ask daddy to, he’ll do it in a heartbeat.” he mocks you.

Rolling your eyes, you slip your shorts off, revealing a pair of black lace underwear. Sam notices immediately, his eyes engulfing the way you look in the light.

“You’re daddy.” you say, twisting his words. You watch his cock twitch in his underwear and he tosses his jeans to the side, placing a condom on the side of the bed. “Someone liked that.” 

Sam growls and grabs you by your waist, flipping you onto your stomach in one swift motion. He pins you down with his arm, his cock brushing against your ass. You squeeze your eyes shut and rest your cheek against the mattress. Noticing the condom, your eyes read the packaging. 

“Magnum? You wish.”

Sam hisses as he grinds his hips into your ass, pressing his length against you. You moan at the feeling of him hard against you. 

“That mouth gets you in so much trouble. How about we fill it, huh?”

Suddenly, you’re on your back again and being pulled up so you’re sitting again. The sight of Sam pulsating in front of you could make you cum alone. You get on all fours, shaking your ass when you notice he’s looking. Biting his lip, he reaches over you and smacks the fat of your cheek. You half yelp, half moan at the feeling.

“Get up here.” he directs, tilting you up by your chin. “Tongue.” 

You shamefully listen right away, sticking your tongue out for him to see. He bends down and lets a line of spit dribble on the flat of the muscle. You swallow it, his cock straining even farther from his briefs.

“Thought I was spoiled and you were gonna make me beg.” you rub your hand over the tip of him.

“Oh you’ll beg, alright.” he pets your head before pulling his underwear down and off his legs. His cock springs free, bouncing in front of you. “But I’m sick of your voice. I’m gonna fuck this shit-talking mouth of yours. The only sound coming from your mouth will be gags.” 

You stare at his length. You know he’s feeling pretty damn good about himself as you sit gobsmacked in front of him. You take him into your hand and stroke him a few times, your eyes dazzling at the precum on his tip. He sucks in a tight breath, watching you work him with your hand. He pulls back, your hand mid air.

“Sam-” you whine.

“What do you say?” he asks, taking himself into his own hands.

Sitting in front of him, still on your knees, you roll your eyes and clamp your mouth shut to show him you’re not saying it. He shrugs and begins picking up the pace of his hand. His arms are flexed, along with the muscles in his stomach. He’s gonna make you watch. 

“Please, daddy. Let me suck your dick. Gag me with it, do whatever. I want it so bad.” you give in, shaking your ass again.

In one swift motion, Sam’s cock is stuffed down your throat, his hand tucked away in your hair. The gag that leaves your mouth is loud and pornographic, making Sam pull out for a second. It doesn’t last long, and he thrusts his hips back into you. Tears stream down your face, your throat burning as you focus on your breathing. His breaths waver above you, turning you on even more. He pulls himself out entirely, brushing the top of your head. 

“Good girl.” he breaths, dragging his finger over your bottom plump lip. “Show me how bad you want it.”

You nod and take him back in your mouth, your hand working the parts you can’t reach. Swirling your tongue, he moans heavenly above you. You cup his balls and flick your tongue over his tip. He leans over your body, stuffing himself back down your throat. Suddenly, the feeling of his fingers running themselves over the damp material of your underwear has your concentration lost and you choke around him. 

“So wet.” he smacks your cunt. “I knew you were a fucking liar. How about this? For every lie you’ve told me equals one orgasm. That should teach you.”

With him down your throat and the idea racing through your mind, you squirm against his fingers. Once again, he pulls himself out of your mouth, a string of saliva being the only thing connecting you. You whimper as he takes himself into his hand and smacks the tip on your cheek. 

“You’re perfect.” he coos as you lay on your back. “Gonna eat your pretty pussy.”

He pulls your underwear off your legs and instantly dives into your heat. Your back arches into him and he uses this as an opportunity to slide his hands under your ass and hold you closer to his mouth. You cry and dig your hands into his hair, pulling him into you. He hums into you, his mouth kneading your sensitive bundle of nerves. Just as your orgasm approaches, he pulls away for a second to spit on you, his fingertips hitting your clit. You jump and scream his name. 

“Sam! I didn’t-”

“Oh, I know. Did you want to?” he asks cockily.

“Yes?!” you say.

His hand meets your cheek before digging into your hair. “Watch the attitude.”

“I’m sorry, sir. Please, let me cum.”

“Fine.”

Without warning, he drags his tongue through your folds, his eyes piercing your soul. You rock into his face as he laps at your arousal. The sound of wet, sloppy noises fill the camper. His tongue pokes at your entrance and you prop yourself up on your arms.

“Fuck, Sammy. Don’t stop. Right there, daddy. Eat my cunt, please!” you beg, under his spell. His arm wraps around your thigh and rubs rough circles into your clit. With one specific sharp jab, an orgasm rips through you.

You kick from under him, his name and a dozen profanities falling from your lips. As you come down from your high, you notice Sam’s motions have only intensified. 

“Sam, I’m done. Fuck, Sam!” you try to shove him away, but his mouth is glued to you. 

He pulls back. “You’re not done. Not until I say so.” he slips a digit into you. “Cum on my fingers, pretty girl.” 

You cry as he digs back in, his mouth skillfully working circles into your heat as his finger jams into you. He adds another finger, and you feel the familiar feeling rise in your stomach again. You’re a moaning, wet, pathetic mess under him as you buck into his face. His fingers hit your G-spot repeatedly, your body jerking each time he does. Without warning, the most powerful orgasm slashes through your body. Your legs shake furiously under you and tears stream down your face. 

When you finally come back to earth, Sam’s just removing his fingers. He licks them clean, eyes staring abc into yours. You breathe heavily, your mind racing and heat spreading to all parts of your body. He crawls over you and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist. He kisses your lips firmly, his hand on your cheek. Moving down, he licks your neck and nips at the skin while you regain your strength.

“So good for me, baby.” he says gently to you. “You look so pretty when you cum and you taste even better.” 

He reaches for the condom but you grab his wrists. “I’m on the pill. Cum in me, please.”

“Whatever you say, baby.’

You grind against his skin, marking his groin. He’s leaking onto your leg and you’re horny all over again. Sam reaches down, rubbing your clit a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He sits there, still as a rock.

“Daddy, please.” you cry. “Please fuck my pussy I’ll be so good for you.”

“That’s it, good girl. Look at you, crying and begging for my cock. Where’s that bratty attitude?”

You let out a long breath, an idea popping into your head. “Jesus, Sam. Fuck me already or I’ll have Grant do it.”

That does it. In record timing, Sam’s stuffed inside of you. His pubic hair brushing against yours. His hand covers your mouth as he slams back into you a few times. You’re shattered below him, your hair sticking to your sweaty face, moaning for more. His hands tug at your hair as he props himself on his elbows above you.

“You think he could fuck you like this? Make you cum and beg for it the way I do?” he growls. He almost sounds hurt. You mumble beneath him. “Could he?”

“No!” you yelp into his ear as he rocks into you. “No one can fuck me like you, Sam.”

“Yeah that's right.” he wraps his hand around your throat as he throws a leg over your shoulder. “So tight. So pretty. My girl. Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

He pulls out and strokes himself. He explodes on your cunt, drenching it with a hot liquid. You watch him, his eyebrows knit tightly together and his teeth gritted as he cums all over you. 

“Fuck.” he cusses. “That’s so hot. I’m gonna fuck it back into you, yeah?”

He drags the tip of his dick through your folds that are coated with his arousal. You moan as he slips back in, dragging his cum back into you. He rocks against you a few times before picking up the pace.

“God, yes!” you cry, the feeling of his cum inside of you. “Use me.”

“My fucking pussy. Fucking it so good, just how you like it. Look at you cum-hungry slut, a whimpering mess as I fuck my cum back into you.” he’s fighting inside of you, and you feel yourself gripping him.

“Yes, Sammy. So close.”

“Gonna get you pregnant so no one else will want you. I’ll have you all to myself.” he continues, lost in the moment. “Say thank you.”

“Gah. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” you cry, nails digging into his back as you cum around him. You’re bucking under him, thrashing and crying as you pulsate around him. 

He falls onto you, your breathing synced. You lay there in silence for a few moments, neither of you willing to move. With Sam’s head on your chest, you run your fingers through his hair, gently tugging and massaging.

“Sam,” you say. He lifts his head up in response. “God, you’re so pretty.” You freeze to watch the smile form on his face. “I’m sorry about this morning and earlier.”

“No, baby, no. I’m sorry.” he says, rubbing your skin with his thumb. “I was so awful to you.”

“It was mutual.” you agree.

“I don’t mean it. I mean, yeah you’re a bit spoiled, but not really. I just think I find it attractive when you’re mad at me.” he admits.

“I like when you’re mad at me too.” you giggle, still running your fingers through his hair. “Do you want to stay the night with me?”

“Yes, please. I don’t want to face anyone after this.”

“Why? Do you think they heard us?” you ask.

“Oh baby, I think the whole state heard us.”

#greta van fleet #sam kiszka gvf #sam kiszka #sam kiszka smut #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Rewatching Shadow and Bone so here are some of my favourite little details that I haven’t seen loads of people talk about (this is almost definitely just part 1 so stay tuned)

The bird cage in Heleen’s office

The masks on stalls in the Ketterdam streets, including Komedie Brute masks, what look like the Jackal masks, and what I believe might have been a sun summoner mask

The song that Ravkan soldiers in Mal’s unit sing whilst they march in s1e4 is the Kerch drinking song Nina sings for Inej on the boat in Six of Crows

Matthias’ hesitation before saying “I feel nothing for you” and Nina replying “then I guess that makes you good at your job” is SO reflective of Matthias’ realisation that Brum didn’t have to drown the good parts of himself to do terrible things the way Matthias always did; Matthias had grown to admire Brum for what he believed was the ability to silence the good in himself in order to do what “must be done” because he found that so difficult to do, and acknowledging that Brum didn’t find those things difficult the way he did was one of the most important moments of being able to separate himself from the Drüskelle beliefs and begin to understand that what he went through was actually abuse and what’s implied to be at least similar to Stockholm Syndrome (I’ve written at length about this and if I get going I’ll never stop, so if anyone wants to know more lemme know and I’ll tag you in my post about it)

“Pomdrakon Players”, the group the Crows join to infiltrate the Little Palace, references Ravkan desert “Pomdrakon” where you soak raisins in brandy then set them on fire and try to grab them in the dark that Nina tells Matthias about on the ice

This isn’t an observation I just thought you’d all like to know that when I was watching the map room scene in episode 4 every time Alina said ‘Aleksander’ I repeated her in a stupid voice, which was really unfair to Alina because she doesn’t know but it was a genuine reaction and I stand by it because screw the Darkling

The comment that the Fjerdans don’t mark ash tress because they’re scared, I love that. I wonder if they pray when they mark trees, like they do when they cut them down? I personally got the impression that all trees were precious but ash trees were sacred when I read the book

The valve to turn out the lights in the Royal Archives Heist because all the lighting is gas powered!! Like I know this probably was just a thing we knew without really thinking about but it’s also really cool in that it reminds us about the class difference between the Crows and the others since, at least in the books, gas lighting isn’t as common to the Barrel as candles and bone lights are but is implied to be more common among the Merchants

Also not an observation but “you’re the quarter master, aren’t you?” “Yep” *wallop* will never not be hilarious and iconic

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the costume department for this show were goddamn miracle performers thank you for your service. I’ve banged on about the symbolism in the costumes before so I won’t now, but I have really only talked about s2 so I guess if you want more I could talk about s1

“No guns” *walking past Jesper* “no knives” *walking past Inej* “no weapons of any kind” *wait where’s Kaz* will always be fabulous

I genuinely have no idea how they did the Tailoring on Alina’s hair when Genya first does it for her but it is incredible like I don’t know exactly what changed but it just… I don’t know, it’s amazing

#grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #shadow and bone #shadow and bone tv #sab show #sab netflix #shadow and bone netflix #grisha trilogy #kanej #wesper #helnik #fantasy books #alina starkov #genya safin #genya kostyk #genya x david #tamar x nadia

[magnoliasandarson]

hoax

Tim was doing his absolute damnedest to project calmness, but he was losing his mind. Two feet away, munching on some cheesy fries, was the Red Hood—the prodigal son, the dead golden boy, his childhood hero, his Robin. The insane man who once beat him half to death, now the guy who occasionally dropped by the cave with a frankly worrying number of bullet holes. 

He’d been patrolling for an hour or so when he noticed the lack of gunshots, screams, explosions, etc., and tracked Hood to the gargoyle Dick took him to once when he was feeling sentimental. It was strange finding him without his signature explosive bucket on, with a bag of Batburger in his lap.

Tim didn’t know what to say, but he knew he needed to say something. Jason apologized for his actions weeks ago and explained that the pit had taken no dead Robins and turned it into all Robins must die, but there was still a weight between them. A clear line that said do not cross; luckily enough, Tim lived to cross those lines, “Takin’ a day off from murder and mayhem?”

Jason twisted his head to look over, his scowl somehow threatening, even with a fry hanging out of his mouth. He finished chewing, looking menacing the whole time, “Fucks it to ya, bird boy?”

Tim plopped down on the ledge; if Jason was going to shoot him, he would’ve already. He stared out at Gotham, at the empty streets and windows glowing with warmth and light. For once, the city was quiet, “Just making conversation, Hood.”

“What made you think I wanted to talk?” Jason’s tone was harsh, but it was about a five on the Jason-rage-meter, and Tim didn’t get fidgety till a seven. 

Tim kicked his feet out, idly drumming his fingers on the cement ledge, “Maybe I wanted to talk.” And in a weird way, it was true. This was Jason freakin’ Todd; the boy wonder that made Batman laugh. He oddly wanted to know everything. 

Jason sighed like he was accosted by young, costumed teens all the time, and, to be fair, he was. Stephanie had taken to showing up at his apartment at odd hours with waffles, and she had only been shot at twice, “Fine, traffic light. Whatcha wanna talk about.”

“Y’know, you wore the suit, too. ‘Least mine has pants.” Tim spoke, then immediately hunched away. Robin was a sore spot for Jason- Tim was stupid to bring it up. 

For some reason, Jason didn’t immediately pull a gun; he just cocked his head and laughed quietly. Tim straightened back up and tried to muster up a glare, but that just made Jason’s little laughs louder, “Ooh- baby bird’s got jokes,” he rolled his shoulders and offered a thing of fries from the bag, “want some fries, Tiny?”

Tim groaned; why did everyone make short jokes about him? He snatched the fries sharply in protest, “You were short too-”

“Yeah, then I took a dip in poison snot,” Jason cut him off, “Ya wanna do that too, short stack?”

Tim immediately jammed some fries in his mouth- he was incurably dumb. He’d managed to bring up Robin and the Lazarus Pit with Jason. He should hang up the cape, “You got any advice? As a former short king?” Honestly, he wished Jason would just shoot him now. There was something wrong with his brain on a fundamental level. He’d been hanging out with Bart and Kon way too much.

Jason tilted his head like he was buffering and inhaled deeply through his nose like he was trying to calm himself through sheer force of will, “Whatcha wanna know?”

Tim chewed his mouthful of potato slowly; he hadn’t thought this far ahead. What did he want to know from Jason? He could ask about crime-lording, but Jason would probably snitch to Dick, and then Bruce would lecture him for at least an hour. Oddly enough, there was only one safe topic he could ask about, and it would still likely result in him leaving with lead in his body that was not there before, “You got any, uhm, Robin-ly advice?” Lightning should strike him down.

Jason didn’t kill him, which was a plus; just lit up a cigarette and took a long drag, which was objectively hilarious, but Tim would die if he laughed, so he just ate another fry, “Robin was a different kid,” he blew out smoke rings like the cool guys in movies, and if Tim wasn’t acutely afraid of lung cancer, he’d be tempted to try, “Dickwing use’ta say, “Robin is magic, you have to be brave for the magic to work.” I used to believe that shit.”

“You don’t anymore?”

Another cool ring of cigarette smoke floated out through the sky, “I stopped believin’ when I dug my way outta my grave.”

Noted. Tim cleared his throat; this was not a conversation he was equipped for, “Oh.”

Jason snorted, “Yeah- oh,” he took another deep drag of his cigarette, making Tim’s chest twinge, “The thing is- Robin will make you believe you can be- make you think you can be a better person.”

“Then why aren’t you better?” The words left his mouth without Tim’s consent, and his whole body tensed to jump, his fingers finding his grapple gun at his waist. 

Jason gave a wry smile and stubbed his spent cigarette on the gargoyle to his right, “Because Robin isn’t magic.”

#dc universe #dc comics #tim drake #timothy drake #timothy drake wayne #robin #dc robin #batman #jason todd #red hood #dc red hood #nightwing #dick grayson #stephanie brown #spoiler #gotham #bruce wayne #batfam #robin is magic #but that didnt save jason

[braimin]

https://www.tumblr.com/braimin/744706699307401216/consider-law-flirting-with-sanji-and-everyone-in?source=share

Imagined Zoro giving Law the finger behind Sanji's back looking all smug while Sanji is red as a tomato and Law is just pissed

Bestie the shenanigans Zoro gets up to bully Law just to piss him off .. Law is ready to shambles his ass into a marine base or something. Zoro's not even jealous of him or anything, he totally gets why Law is into Sanji. But fucking with him is so easy and hilarious.

Sanji still hasn't noticed Law is into him, and no one has ever pulled him aside and been like 'hey, this guy is hitting on you.' He's just going about his day entirely oblivious. And then suddenly Zoro starts getting really publicly affectionate and he can't understand why? Like it's nice and all but why can't he do this behind closed doors like usual??

Meanwhile every time Zoro does something to make him blush he looks over to Law and flips him the bird when Sanji turns away. He'll say something that makes Sanji go like 'Marimo~' and then looks over to give him the biggest shit-eating grin. It's not even about Sanji anymore, Law's just annoyed that at how prideful Zoro is and it's stupid how much he wants to show off.

The crew is also over it. Like ugh go be gay somewhere else Zoro, no one cares. But he's too busy having fun with the way Sanji gets all embarrassed and how miffed Law gets.

#zosan #one piece #sanji #zoro #Poor Law #Nami buys him drinks as an apology #After a while Sanji will sorta get the situation and actually be really flattered cause he thinks Zoro is for real jealous for once #But then he realizes Zoro is just doing it for shits and giggles #*cue damsel mode* #Because how come youre not actually threatened by this guy? what if I seriously had a thing for swordsmen? #You should be jealousy vying for my attention marimo #Zoro is like you didn't even notice he was hitting you why should I be worried about it?