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#that tag didnt make much sense. i am not trying to shit on ppl for digging gnc or nb ted bc i love that shit
everyeternity · 15 days
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okay, my beloved partner and accomplice @mysterymessmachine tagged me in this one so let's jump in to my first fkn tag game!
Last song I Listened to
uhhhhh i listen to too much shit but lately ive been listening to a LOT of Hozier, and my same song that i will loop til my ears bleed is Weird Part Of The Night by Louis Cole
Currently watching
Many many things, but currently im trapped in the A;TLA rewatch/live-action combo, its very fun. also trying to work through a backlog of movies w my partner-in-crime (who i have never met before in my life, officer)
Spicy/sweet/savory
I have a sweet tooth that my dentist says needs removed, but savory is a close second. Spicy is good in a savory way, if that makes any sense? like im not a fan of habanero, but i will go to town on a good savory dish with, like, black pepper as a main flavor
Current Obsessions
uhhhh, trying to read honestly. I had to return all my library books bc they got overdue and i didnt read them fast enough, but we recently went out to get some new copies of books that disappeared after i loaned them out many years ago, i got some new stuff, some old stuff, and some gifts to read for sure.
But also i started playing DmC: Devil May Cry (yes the newer edgy one where they threw canon out the window and got yelled at abt it) and oops i might actually like combo-buster action games, catch me working through the main DMC series after this
Relationship Status
incredibly gay and in love with my partner, the reason ive been going to bed at 4 am and laughing a little too hard to drive safely (its okay they drive more now)
Fav color
Safety fuckin orange, mainly, though i really love that whole spectrum of bright-ass oranges, yellows, and pinks (not the icky yellow greens tho)
contrary to that though, a lot of my wardrobe is grays and blues, im trying to wear more deep and cool colors bc of my typing but also see above. you can take safety orange from my shriveled dead hands.
thanks for reading y'all! and since i know my partner will be reading this, you're hot as fuck, the best, and broadly the best thing to happen in my life end of; not sorry for being gay as hell on main.
oNTO THE TAGS! i don't know a whole lot of ppl ngl, so im just gonna tag some of y'all, no pressure! @themidgardlibrary @joylesscelebration @assistedbytherats
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mitsurichan3 · 6 months
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Yknow its crazy its been a year since the fall out. Im definitely doing a little better in some ways, and worse in others.
Im okay but it could be better. TLDR im finding that i am in a little bit of a rut and i am struggling to find a sense of direction in my personal life now that im 25.
Day job, career, art woes, social life, financies and priorities are all confusing rn lol but im managing somehow. Specifics below.
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If you decided you wanted specifics here you go.
Work started rough this school season. The schedule is a fucking mess. Two districts are struggling and are hot messes. New part timer joined the fray in the middle of all of this so its training a person ontop of the already chaotic mayhem.
The friend fall out with that bitch still has me... frustrated. Some days i can go about my day without blinking an eye, some days i still go through anger and frustration and bitterness and feeling disgusted with myself that i gave so much to this person only to be thrown under the bus on a public timeline where she twisted the fucking narrative to be in her favor when it actually didnt happen that way. Her name sickens me. Everything that is associated with her is tainted and i cant enjoy shit like i used to because how deep the betrayal goes down to my core. Fuck you, i hope you actually have the worse kind of miserable life she can actually live.
Ontop of this i feel... inadequate. I feel like I am doing too much at once, and nothing at all at the same time. Yes my life has gotten quieter and i have room now to do things i have always wanted to do, but now that i have that wiggle room, things feel far more isolating than before. I feel alone. I do a lot of stuff, now, alone. It gets lonely. I do go out with friends ocassionally, but its not the same. I dont feel that sense of direction that helps with calming my anxiety down. I have always known i was an anxious person but having a sense of direction and of moving forward has always kept me calm. Not anymore.
I dont check tumblr as often as I would like in the past but I also am using it more purposefully filthy but it helps some nights though i have consistently gotten a bit of love here too. An old pokemon piece gets a like every now and then. It brings me a little bit of hope knowing people do go through the tag and DIG EXTENSIVELY for things.
Im frustrated that I am not moving forward in my art making career and artist era. I am mostly putting my efforts and energy in maintaining my day job bc its a realiable source of income and it saddens me to know it is coming to that point in my life where safety is better than taking risks and not following my dreams. My supervisor is aware that i am looking for ways to grow professionally in a more creative environment but i dont know... unless I can get the ppl on the internet to help support my artistic endevors i dont think it would be a good move to quit the museum when I still have car loans to pay. ugh priorities.
I do want to post more consistently and show more of my art. Recently i went to an art sale hosted by my university and to tell yall the truth It was such a flop it hurt. Not because we didn't sell, but because the other artist vending got soooo many compliments on her artwork while my ceramics were just catching dust. People werent.. gravitating towards it. And it hurts. I poured my heart and soul making those pieces but I guess it serves me for not putting in MORE effort into making better art. Ughhh.
The idea of going back to school for a master's degree is.. exciting but I am not sure if that is the path i want to go down. I just want to live happy in a comfortable life doing what i love aka making art. And dont get me wrong i have ideas its just!... sigh, energy. Time. Effort. Most importantly comfort .
I am trying to rethink ways of diversifying my income venues and put 250% more effort into the platforms and venues inrl and online that are producing a bit of money for me. I want to make prints. I want to make stickers. I want to make paintings. I want to stream more often and stick to a consistent schedule. I want to earn a living making things I love. I dont want to be stuck in corporate all my life. I want to MAKe!!!
Sigh.
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sameteeth · 4 years
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I FINALLY CHANGED MY ICON CHECK IT OUT MOTHERS AND FUCKERS!!!!! nb bill time >:)
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rbtlvr · 7 years
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‘how long are you gonna be hung up on balance-’ a long fuckin time
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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years
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so,,, yesterday i read this manhwa called “the horizon” (i forget the author but ill put them in the tags) and good god... it was so heartbreakingly beautiful and im gonna make a few posts about it B) ((i say a few bc theres a few things i wanna talk about but i dont wanna make it all unorganized ?? if that makes sense))
first theres just the amazing artwork done in this piece... the range is just fucking incredible and every single panel had so much work and heart put into it and i had to sit there just to really admire the art of each page for a long time (usually im an impatient little bitch and skim artwork in manga/manhwa but damn this one was something else). but like !! look at how many different styles and shit the artist did depending on the circumstances !! 
oh if i didnt mention,, this manhwa is like an apocalyptic world where this little boy meets a little girl and they just sort of roam the world together right... but they come across so many terrible things and theres this back and forth between hope and despair and everytime you start to be like “hey maybe things will be good for them, or at least as good as they can be” the tiniest thing happens that just shatters all that hope to the ground and suddenly everything is lost again. it really reminds me of this book i read for english called the road by uh.. something mccarthy i think... and it was about a boy and his dad trying to survive and walk down a road together in a post apocalyptic world and it was also sad as shit. BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. BACK TO THE ARTWORK.
so thE RANGE OF STYLES YES THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. as i already said, its just this whole rollercoaster of emotions but it really forces you to sit there and fucking f e e l your emotions yknow? it makes it impossible to just sit there and be like “lol damn thats sad” ,, the art and the layout are so shocking and stunning that you h a v e to sit there and admire them and think about the events and really just feel every ounce of emotion and loss that the characters are going through and that the artist put into this piece. it did this thing where it would sometimes stretch on for a few pages of just the same frame with tiny differences just taking up the whole page without any words/little words to let the magnitude of the situation sink in and envelope you. its so powerful with its message especially with the themes of hope and loss and it just... usually i keep pop culture/anime/manhwa feels separate from my irl feels but... dude this one was so fuckin amazing that i genuinely had to take a break a few times bc the feels were getting all mixed up and i genuinely felt that sorrow that the characters were feeling. i seriously wanna read this again actually so i focus more on the amazing art since i know the story already.
i just love how much it switches up from all the different looks too. sometimes it would have that classic anime/manhwa feel to it especially when there were lots of characters (i didnt include a sc for that oops) but a lot of the time it would focus on the beauty/emptiness of the landscape around the characters since there wasnt really much left in the world. there were a lot of gruesome scenes drawn in that sort of chalky/charcoaly look that involved death and i am just obsessed with how they made it look so organic and like it was actually, yknow decomposing. they also used a really messy scribbly style when super chaotically terrible things where happening, both externally and internally which was such a perfect reflection of those bundled up negative and hopeless emotions that were present throughout the story. it sort of made it seem like those things were simply too horrible to be drawn fully and even the artist couldnt subject the reader to such a terrible sight. also ... the use of color... usually they would use color to represent the presence of hope and damn dude it really worked... especially after seeing some of these same images consecutively and that dramatic change really makes the reader feel so much brighter and happier when hope is back in the story !! although that one other colored scene... where the boy is in the ocean... god that hurts my heart so badly... i think the color was used in that case to show the reality of his situation and that it was really r e a l yknow ??? it wasnt just a comic written to make ppl sad and thinking about death,, this is that kids whole LIFE and he had to accept the (bad thing that happened but im not gonna write it bc i dont wanna spoil) was something that happened and now he really had no reason to keep on living... and all these feelings are so wonderfully portrayed and definitely did a very good job of making me, the reader, Very Sad. 
HAHA I DIDNT WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG BUT I RAMBLED LMAO... ill prolly make one or two more posts about this but they wont nearly be as long dont worry
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bo0zey · 4 years
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Pick your favorite questions from the list.
i will do them all for u 0.o
1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]
2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french
3. Age 20
4. Birthday december 17, 1999
5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries
6. Gender female
7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender
8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats
9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!
10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian
11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!
12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers
13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol
14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??
15. Your relationship status single :D
16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person??? 
17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D
18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????
19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd
20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant
21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein
22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water
23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow
24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon
25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3
26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own
27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat
28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc
29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music
30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess
31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!
32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......
33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish
34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk
35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing 
36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit
37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol
38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!
39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’
40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome
41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals
42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny 
43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm 
44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business
45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better
46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that
47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night
48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....
49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings
50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk
51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care
52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol
53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair
54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!
55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk
56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!! 
57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it
58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS
59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020
60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative
61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,
62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift
63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd
64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no
65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone
66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son
67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho
68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD
69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books
70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki
71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...
72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf
73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades
74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(
75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool
76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna
77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain
78. Favourite platform? twitter
79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time
80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!
81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall
82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity
83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee
84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts
85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me
86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.
87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me
88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills
89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]
90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom
91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy
92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner
93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public
95. Cold or hot? cold
96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero
97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme
98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting
99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal
100. ..... or .....? ......?
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j4nn4s · 5 years
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rules:
always repost the rules
answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!
give 11 questions
tag 11 people
i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?
hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)
2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?
tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO
3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?
ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons 
4. Your least favourite part of every season?
season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild
season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??
season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin
season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me
5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?
tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)
6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?
OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste
7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?
OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??
8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?
IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season 
but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok 
personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)
also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too
PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj
9. What did you learn from the show?
omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)
10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?
omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom
11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?
tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it
Questions:
1. Favorite quote of the show?
2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?
3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?
4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?
5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?
6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?
7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?
8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?
9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?
10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)
11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?
I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme
(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)
9 notes · View notes
kilmameri · 5 years
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I saw @solange-lol doing this and it seemed fun so I wanted to do it too. Please do it yourselves too and tag me to it if you like, I won’t be tagging anyone. I’ve added my comments in chunks so theyre easier to delete. this is mostly me writing random garbage which isnt needed but i wanted to do
Rules: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations
AIR: i have small hands • i love the night sky • i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by • i drink herbal tea • i wake to see dawn • the smell of dust is comforting • i’m valued for being wise • i prefer books to music • i meditate • i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me
What kinda aspiration is having small hands tho? :DD I love the night sky the most when it’s warm an dark, often when im like, on a trip. its not often both dark and warm where i live :D and i Love birds. today waiting for the bus i almost forgot where i was when i watched birds fly in flocks over us. theyre moving back here for spring! :D
also like,, waking early is so over appreciated. and i see the dawn plenty bc the sun rises at like nine o’clock in winter if at all like,,, i get that its more constant to ppl who live closer to the equator and actually means something. i would wake up to see the dawn tho for the stillness of the world tho if it was with someone but only in daydreams bc why get up early when u can stay up late? that last one abt truths like lmao we get it u deep but yea i love trivia
FIRE: i don’t have straight hair • i like to wear ripped jeans • i play an organized sport • i love dogs • i am not afraid of adventure • i love to talk to strangers • i always try new foods • i enjoy road trips • summer is my favorite season • my radio is always playing
i love curly hair. i have really thick and stiff straigh af hair and i sometimes wish it had Even Waves bc id love to look more messy-cute ya know? bc now its all clean partings, no stray hairs. it looks too formal for my taste and id like for it to have some personality. i know i could just curl it with an iron or get it done but yea,,, i dont care That much
like im constantly told im crazy brave and i guess this applies to me? like i Did move at age 16 to my own in a city i have never been in with no one there who knew me and just,,, didnt even care. i tell others what ive been up to and they ooh and aah and im like?? but yea it does feel nice to be considered adventurous
also i love weird foods and am Not picky. in ninth grade home ec my kitchen needed to design a three course meal and dear fucking god was that a mess. we had one vegetarian lactose intolerant peep, one who didnt eat random shit like onions and bell pepper bc they taste bad (???) and so if a recepie had even a slightest bit of that he insisted it be left out or didnt even listen to the full recepie. and one who like,,,, would Not eat any foregin food. he wanted Potatoes and sausages. im like??? this is the final home ec test? this is supposed to showcase our skills,,, and you want boiled potatoes and plain sausage? what a mess lmao
WATER: i wear bracelets on my wrists • i love the bustle of the city • i have more than one set of piercings • i read poetry • i love the sound of a thunderstorm • i want to travel the world • i sleep past midday most days • i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • i see emotions in colors not words
i moved to a city abt uhhh? half a year ago and i love it here :D theres nothing better than walking in the centrum with the pidgeons and street artists and ppl having a good time chatting and shopping
i used to sleep past midday but i try to not so much bc that worsens my mood a lot bc i feel really isolated spending so much of my time alone. but it is my natural way of being so i guess thats how it be sometimes
EARTH: i wear glasses/contacts • i enjoy doing the laundry • i am a vegetarian • i have an excellent sense of time • my humor is very cheerful • i am a valued adviser to my friends • i believe in true love • i love the chill of mountain air • i’m always listening to music • i am highly trusted by the people in my life
bad eyesight ://. i do kinda enjoy doing household chores when i have something to listen to or a call to be in but that hasnt been the case lately. i am not vegetarian but sometimes i do go days without eating meat by accident which i dont mind but like,,, yea. its bc i eat like, bread, noodles, cereal, and then there might be something vegetarian at school that i eat bc it looks like the tastiest food there
idk abt my humor? its kinda spicky, insulting to some. but i dont mean it its like friendly banter. but i put it on with ppl who arent friends of confy with that sometimes and i dont mean to honestly
AETHER: i go without makeup in my daily life • i make my own artwork • i keep on track of my tasks and time • i always know true north • i see beauty in everything • i can always smell flowers • i smile at everyone i pass by • i always fear history repeating itself • i have recovered from a mental disorder • i can love unconditionally
never really liked makeup, too much work for a thing i cant really tell is even there. the flashy types of makeup i dont like so much. also im already cute af
ive been told im organized as hell by my peers and i dont get it. thats just?? how i naturally do things. it like,,, is Impossible for me to put things in their wrong places. if its hard to put where it belongs then i dedicate a “pending” spot for it in a place thats easy. and i hate notebooks and instead use a binder filled with loose leaves that i can edit as much as i like :3
thanks for reading, hmu if u wanna say something abt the things i wrote. ill read it
1 note · View note
superemeralds · 6 years
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sonic forces review
EDIT: added day after thoughts under read more
Hey nyall! Time to review forces!
First, a broad, spoiler free, review. Under the cut will be a more in depth review containing spoilers for both, the main game AND episode shadow.
Please note that this is from the perspective of someone with adhd. I can’t tell how some of the things that peeved me would affect neurotypicals.
General info:
There is an easy and a hard mode. (hard mode is just normal mode “for ppl who played sonic before”) It took me 7 hours and 44 minutes to complete the entire game including episode shadow. Granted, I took quite a few breaks for breathers and shitpostingly liveblogging me playing the game on a discord server + I think I’m just bad at the game.
There are over 30 levels to play, of which a few did repeat and you just play with a different character, but it was still fun!
The hub map got increasingly confusing and hard to navigate and i really hate it now that i completed it because there’s too much happening at once on the screen.
Game play:
There was a Classic Sonic, Modern Sonic and Custom Character type game play.
I personally do not enjoy Classic Sonic game play but it was very well playable once I remembered I could use the arrow key pad instead of the left joystick.
Modern Sonic was often too fast in platforming sections and the absence of drift made sharp curves in 3D areas hard to handle, mainly when you activated boost (as the game intends you to). But it was very fun and refreshing to be able to boost again.
The Custom Character could use different wispons to do progress in the game. This is probably what has the most replay factor, as you can go back to levels using different wispons to clear new paths that you were previously unable to go through. The wispon use can be kinda sloppy at times, but once you get used to it it can be very fun.
The tag team game play was sloppy. It was never clear which character you are playing as right now (until later I realized you are playing both at the very same time ? I think? i am still confused).
Visuals:
The lighting in the cutscenes and levels often comes short and can even ruin the atmosphere at times. A lack of detail in some scenes undermines this. 
The characters are not as expressive as they could be, but there are some iconic expressions to spot throughout the game.
Sometimes camera angles shift weirdly or zoom out too much (some times the character even blends in with the stage and you don’t see it at all anymore when you are in movement) and you lose track of your character and most probably fall off the stage or get hurt. Sometimes there is also a little too much going on in the background.
On the contrary, the game had also tried to pull quite a few visually stunning shots and lighting in both levels and cutscenes.
It is overall still better than previous games because it has more heart and life in it and I hold it dear.
Overall feelings about the game:
The game had mostly been very fun! There was a lot of variety between stages and the wispons gave the gameplay a very fresh kick.
Some stages were frustrating because the character was too fast/very hardly visible for the platforming and I ended up dying a lot in the same spot. 
Not to say too much about the story, but Classic Sonic was pure fanservice and was not important to the plot whatsoever and the game would’ve done very well without him.
Character development was pretty absent.
The pacing of the game in general was very sloppy and almost even uncomfortably fast (rushed) and bland.
Most of the levels were very short to a point where you’d expect there to be multiple acts of it because you refuse to accept that this was already the end of it.
The story had some strong points, though, and the music was absolutely phenomenal, like always, BUT the music was not as recognizable as it was in previous games. I played the final boss only a very few hours ago and i cannot remember the tune to it at all.
The game had a lot of potential but it was executed rather sloppily than exceptionally.
All in all this game gets a 7/10 for effort from me.
because im very generous and i still had fun and was hyped and enjoyed it despite all the annoying parts. I mean i am also 06fucker69
Longer and more in depth review including spoilers under the cut
!!!! WARNING SPOILERS START HERE !!!!
I will try to stay in chronological order, but that is the first thing that is kinda peeving me in this game. 
(warning i quickly grew tired and couldn't write anymore but i forced myself to finish)
The time skips and flashbacks are inconsistent and have a harsh transition. For example the 6 months between Sonic’s defeat and the recruitment of the Rookie is just white text on a black screen that isn’t even narrated. Sometimes the time between perspectives is very disorted and you forget about Classic and Tails while you are busy with another mission that is forced upon you thanks to the linear 1 perspective story.
I would’ve had a 3 perspective story, with 3 story modes. Each story mode would explore the same story from the different perspectives like in SADX, SA2, heroes and Sonic the hedgehog 2006. (mostly 06 though)
The stages were perfectly arranged and build to be incorporated into a 3 perspective story. Classic might have had more time for character development and relevance. Also more, mostly consistent, time with him would make us more attached and feel actual emotions about his parting in the very end.
The idea of having Mania connect with forces like that and have a “reason” for Classic to appear is good, but Classic just arrives and is there. For not reason at all besides the sake of being there in order to please 2d/classic enthusiast fans. Great concept in theory, sloppily executed though.
Modern Sonic
The game play was very sloppy as Sonic just could fall off the stage and you just had a very huge lack of control of his speed. Mostly when you were in boost in a place that intended you to boost. The absence of drift was very unnerving.
The thing about Sonic being imprisonment was just. so..... unrealistically done. Sonic just came out of the cage and he’s been doing just fine. But he’s gotta be down, because couldn’t run. He absolutely hates being stuck in a place and it’s been SIX FUCKING MONTHS. The bars are also so far apart he can just slip out. Also Sonic can easily break out of prison.
This was not the first time he was imprisoned. In SA2 he had a far greater emotional response, and he broke out the moment he knew what he had to do to make things right. (He volunteered to be imprisoned in SA2, in forces he was forced in prison.)
This is not just out of character for him, but also very lazy writing. The time skip between was badly done, in a black screen with text. No context as to why Silver is suddenly here (if you didn’t read the comic you have no idea whats going on) or how the resistance formed.
Everyone thinks Sonic died, Knuckles is very upset and admits he cant get used to him being gone; and suddenly he gets the news that Sonic is fine and it doesn't trigger any emotional response in him. Or anyone really much besides Amy; who had refused to believe he died in the first place.
He just immediately goes on a mission and fights Infinite.
Tag Team
It was a very good idea to incorporate this mechanic and was mainly well done and fun; the double and triple boost was a nice lil kick off to regular gameplay.
As mentioned was it never clear who you are playing right now and it didn’t warn you about swiches. It could’ve been done better with the heroes mechanics of swicharound. There were more than enough characters to have multiple teams that could be playable.
Avatar
The custimization options aren’t spectacular, but that was not to be expected. I was positively surprised to have the option to chose between 3 voices. 
Villains
Chaos is. Just there. He wasn't even a boss. He was just there for the shock value/fan service.
The Metal Sonic fight was okay.
Zavok was annoying but okay and reasonable.
Shadow wasn’t even a bossfight he was also just shock-factor. He joined the team but was of very little value. (Except for DLC, will talk abt later.)
Infinite has 4 boss fights. And in the end he just vanishes. He’s basically still existent? I think? what happened? Are we just going to accept this?
The final boss was lame and not memorable at all. At least nega wisp phase 2 was iconic.
Infinite
Infinite is a very interesting character with much potential, which they sadly didn't really use much at all except for him being extra. He didn't show off much of his personality and we couldn't learn to appreciate/hate him. 
The game doesn't mention much about his origin, so you will have to read the online comic in the social medias to understand. This might be good marketing to get consumers to consume media on different platforms, but it does not make much sense for newcomers who know nothing about Sonic and don’t follow the social medias to begin with.
Someone who just picked up the game and it’s their first Sonic game.... They won't understand shit.
I want to see more of him. He got so much potential to grow and ultimately redeem himself. Maybe in a future game? Or in the comics at least.
Episode Shadow
The 3 levels were well. One time it was a sonic level but with shadow and some lil things changed. The other was a custom character level but with shadow. The other was just generic 2d platforming with cubes. None of these were long or new. It was fun, sure, but it wasn't exciting.
I was kinda peeved that even though infinite was revealed, we still didnt get to see his face.
Visuals
Lighting harsh, sometimes interesting, but not completely fleshed out/good/atmospheric. 
There are scenes/levels that have stunning visuals (the sonic level in space and the scene with the sun.) even when its not perfect.
Just. The characters sometimes float above the ground and the lighting is very white and harsh and not atmospheric. (The colors are meessed up and too bright. The characters look like they have a completely different light source from the environment)
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EDIT: A DAY AFTER ADDITIONS
okay so a day after, replaying some stages, I still think the game is very fun.
There are quite a few things that are peeving me still. I just remembered the whole null space thing, which is totally wasted potential. You could’ve had a few levels in that space with fucky gravity and weird cube shit going, but you just had to double boost out and that was it.
Many tricks the villain packs out are treated as something they can oercome easily and they just. Win “because they always do”.
I want to see the heroes doubt themselves and have character development. The only character that does have character development at all is the custom character. Infinite arguably does undergo some development too; in episode shadow.
There is a lot of potentials for DLCs and I hope they release them and have more characters playable.
47 notes · View notes
incendavery · 7 years
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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕
on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.
as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!
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yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕
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i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!
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thank you!!!💕
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thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕
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ok, my tips are!!:
draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills
BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again
draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing
look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work
read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt
ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy
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good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!
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ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!
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thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!
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that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!
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thank you!!
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peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.
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wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>
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dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!
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thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul
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thank you!!!!!!!💕
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i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!
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i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕
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honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?
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youre welcome!!!! :>
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huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!
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hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕
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i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨
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thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!
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hey, right back atcha!!!
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:0
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ty!!!
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hey. thank YOU
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you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!
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!!!!!!!!!!
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hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!
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gosh thanks?!?!
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she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!
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aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!
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this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!
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that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can
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i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds
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i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!
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i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way
so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?
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real BAD
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗
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not yet haha THANK YOU
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hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!
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that IS a fun fact!! thank you!
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it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)
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hoo gosh, thank you!!
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glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???
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i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation
if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.
im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 
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:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0
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HA 
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aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;
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i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;
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this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0
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yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0
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i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)
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oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!
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HUGS
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i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?
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also good to know!?
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i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!
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the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!
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i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 
heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:
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hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖
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ive never heard of that!! wow
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what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!
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oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;
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hahahaha omg thank u
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i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.
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thank you!!!
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youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!
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aaa gosh thank you!!!
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hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 
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thanks for the info!!! :0
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no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.
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i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?
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aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;
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aw thank you???!!
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nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!
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thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!
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of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight
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aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???
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hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?
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wow!!
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(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!
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hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!
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aaaa ty! 
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hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!
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thank you!!
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one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)
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yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!
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awww, gosh! thank you!?
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AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;
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:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!
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i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!
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pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;
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aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;
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nice nice nice ty!!
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>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 
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those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!
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i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!
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@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!
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that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!
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hello to you too!
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aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3
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thank you! thank YOU for existing!
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:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!
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thank you!!!!!!💕
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its literally my pleasure!!!
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aaa ty!!! 💕💕
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hehe im glad! 
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sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh
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yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 
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ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!
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aww thank you so much!!
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:0 :) :0 !!!!!!
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ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!
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thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!
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i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day
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you dont mean......
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?!?!?!?!?!?!
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awwww ty!!!
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HEY WOW
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aaa gosh thank you!💕
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DOUBLE FOLLOW
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gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;
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aaa what a lovely message! ty💕
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3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!
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huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!
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ah im really glad? tysm!!💕
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my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 
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hell yeah!!!! 
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gosh!!!!!
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hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez
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delicious!!
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i havent!! i really want to though!
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oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!
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i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 
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i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!
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hey, thank you!!!
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oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?
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i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?
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thank you!! 👍
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that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!
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:0 :0 :0
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ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>
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omg,,,, nope, just me!
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thank you!!!!!!
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honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine
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always!!!!! go for it!!!
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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omg, thats so great! thank you!
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im so glad; thank you!!!
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thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)
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aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa
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aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!
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its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 
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its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao
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LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 
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THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
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thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!
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aaa ty!!💖
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aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)
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awww thank you💖
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i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )
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aaaaa ty!! 💖
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!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????
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hey, neat! crow high-five!
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aw, thank you!!! 💖
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im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;
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gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?
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thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!
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i am..... one of those things!
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well thank you!!
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ohoho~✨
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thank you! and honestly im sure it does??
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hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!
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aw gosh thank you!💖
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hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!
(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)
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aaaah, thank you so much!!
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almost???
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i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!
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i am!!!! thank you!!
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aw, ty!!! 💖
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hee hee, thank you! 
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my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.
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thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)
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how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????
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hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!
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I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 
when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’
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i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!
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now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao
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!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!
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maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?
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thank you!!!
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its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,
thank you so much!!!
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WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????
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all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;
45 notes · View notes
hunkkeiths-blog · 7 years
Note
So I just scrolled 20000 years back on your blog like the creep I am and I saw you mention schizophrenic Keith headcanons but never actually saw schizo Keith headcanons and I'm 👀👀👀
once again thank you so much for sending this! i really really love this au but i never talk about it bc i feel like no one cares and this makes me sooo happy!
also sorry again for answering late i just wanted to be able to type everything relatively quickly and use a readmore
(i added links that lead to wiki pages to explain what certain stuff is, you don’t need to click them or anything)
ok so here goes
[Food mentions and slight emeto for this part]
Keith has a lot of trouble with food, both bc of sensory issues and paranoia
when its sensory, its mostly if the texture is too different to whats hes used to, or if theres too much taste and theres anything else (a sound, some lights flashing, whatever) hell get overwhelmed really easily. so he tries to stick to relatively tasteless stuff
Keith also gets a lot of persecutory delusions and some of the most recurring ones is that his food has been poisoned, having relatively tasteless food helps with not being as convinced of that
On good days (well as good a day as you can have when you think your food has been poisoned anyway), he can sort of just power through it and eat enough to not be starving.
On bad days, he either doesn’t eat at all, or if he only realises it after having eaten he becomes sick/makes himself sick.
Back on Earth, especially during his year alone, he had 3-4 “trusted foods/brands” and he almost exclusively only ate those
Once on the ship, things get very complicated, because from the start, he doesn’t trust the altean food goo (he still doesn’t if he’s entirely honest, but they’ve all been eating it and none of them are dead yet so if it is poisoned its slow acting enough) so he mostly only eats when hes absolutely starving for the first month or so before he slowly starts to eat more of the altean meals
He does however trust what Hunk cooks partly because he trusts Hunk, partly because Hunk eats it too, and (taste+texture of the food goo aside) hes always more comfortable when Hunk cooks.
[Warning ended]
While developing and after when he had it (which was 2 or 3 years before he entered the Garrison), Keith ended up almost entirely isolated from people, in part because he would willingly withdraw from others, in part because the people who took care of him after his father left/died (foster families i guess? i dont really know how the system works and i cant imagine how much worse it must be for a schizophrenic kid so) didn’t really know what to do with him because he had really bad emotional blunting
Because he was mostly left alone, he started focusing alot on the delusions he had at the time, the main one of which was that he just wasnt human (which yes turned out to be somewhat true, but it’s still a delusion). that led him to thinking of going to space because of a feeling that something would happen there. which led him to the garrison which is how he ended up there.
At the Garrison, he was amazing at flying and mediocre at best in all his other classes.
This is partly because outside of doing stuff that could actually directly get him to space, he wasnt able to get any motivation to do anything else. (even if he gets kicked out, he can just steal a rocket or something right?)
he also didnt really have any friends because he didnt approach anyone and more or less actively avoided anyone trying to get close to him.
the way he just was; never showing any emotion, barely speaking, the weird things he sometimes did, etc; sort of drove ppl away on its own
(this is also sort of the reason he didnt remember him and lances “rivalry” in s1ep1. he never actually noticed lance thought of him as a rival, he just thought lance was sort of loud)
Shiro ended up like being a mentor or something to Keith, and Keith wasnt able to really avoid him
They start off sort of rocky, because Keith hates interacting with other people, due to paranoid thoughts (”he can read my mind”, “he wants to hurt me”, and so on) that, while they werent nearly as bad as off meds, were still present even with medication.
Slowly though, Keith warms up to Shiro and starts trusting him (though shiro is never really sure because Keith doesnt show it at all)
Keith starts doing better in all his classes, because he’s interpreted that shiro will be extremely disappointed in him if he ends up getting kicked out because of poor grades, and hes terrified of disappointing literally the only person in the world he trusts
It also leads to Keith putting a minimum of effort into becoming at least somewhat expressive 
When the kerberos mission fails, keith is destroyed. all his grades almost instantly drop and he barely shows up to class because losing the only person he trusts essentially makes him totally apathetic, and go back to having alot of paranoid thoughts/delusions (mostly surrounding the garrison staging the entire thing, sort of fake moon landing style but with actual murder to make people back off on exploring space because of Something), and feeling like he’s being stalked by people (not entirely untrue tbh), and deal with anhedonia. and thats how he gets kicked out/how he drops out 
Living entirely alone (as in without any supervision) was hell for Keith.
Moving to the shack after dropping out messed with his entire routine, and without a relatively strict routine, he ends up forgetting his meds
Off medication, he had really really really horrible episodes that almost always ended with him getting hurt in some way
Off-meds, he starts his garrison/shiro conspiracy wall
He also found the blue lions cave during an episode
After a while (keith never tries to find out how much time he spent without his meds because he forgot about them), he ends up taking his antipsychotics again, and almost destroys the wall, except theres a feeling he still has that he rememebers he had during an episode.
He ends up going to the cave again, and “Holy shit that was real??” so he restarts his wall while being a bit more down to Earth.
The day shiro crashes on earth is one of the best days of his life bc, well, shiro, but also because he was actually right for once.
Overall, Keith’s pretty good at organising his thoughts and not speaking incoherently, but if hes at all stressed, hell go through a lot of thought blocking
It’s really annoying because Keith hates not being understood and not finishing his points, but often, even if the person hes talking to reminds him what he was talking about, he cant remember what he was going to say after
He also used to think that the thought blocking was aliens and/or the government stealing away all his thoughts to study humans (or, before the garrison: not entirely human entities)
His thoughts are alot more disorganised than his speech shows (under normal circumstances, there are occasions where he does get mostly incoherent). He’s learned to think of what hes going to say step by step before saying it
What he says often still comes off as not entirely thought out, rude, etc because thinking about what order words are going to come out of his mouth doesnt fix not understanding how to interact with others
And here’s a bunch of stuff i couldn’t really make long enough to warrant a separate section:
Keith stims mostly when hes nervous or bored, and he stims by scratching his nails against things, because he likes the sounds it makes.
[self harm (sort of)] at some point, the team notices that when theres nothing for him to scratch (like a wall or something), hell scratch at his own skin, because scratching fabric feels/sounds horrible, often until he scratches part of it off. so they make him these little squares of material to scratch at
Keith does a lot of magical thinking (i cant find an easy link for this but in this case its like seeing signs in things that are seemingly unrelated if that makes sense) where he’ll see a ‘sign’ and feel like he has to do something (what something is varies from something very specific to just “something”)
since he obviously cant always do what hes supposed to do after seeing the signs, hes started writing down everything so he can do it later (lance’s idea). it helps a lot.
Keith hates places with background noises that arent constant (like they stop and start, stop and start), even if they arent particularly loud, because he loses his entire train of thought whenever it stops or starts
Ok! that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this answered what you were looking for! 
I lost my entire train of thought at least 5 times while typing this so I’ll probably add more things in my tag later on when I think of them again!
I’m also writing an actual story with this, it should come out around the end of June if you’re interested!
31 notes · View notes
actualbird · 7 years
Note
Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u
OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 
i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 
(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)
Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]
He begins at it already pried apart
OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.
DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.
World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]
Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.
“I need a favor,” he says at last.
“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”
(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)
if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)
catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]
What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?
hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the
Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]
“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.
“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”
Merlin chose to shut up.
all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.
Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]
It really does take a village to raise a Jim.
The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.
I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.
fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]
“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”
Everybody stared at him.
“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.
“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”
ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 
Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]
Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.
(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)
SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 
OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!
17 notes · View notes
iamthechocobabe · 7 years
Text
A True Nightmare
I figured after the Episode Ignis trailer, we all needed some Ardyn getting his ass kicked a bit (though keep in mind there’s only so much poor Mallory can do). Don’t be put off by the creepy vibes at first of the chapter, Mallory’s gonna show this asshole who’s boss by the end (and NO, not in that way guys-NOT AN ARDYN LOVE STORY, ‘member?) 
Sorry that it’s a little long, but it’s been going way too slow for me and I wanted to get the story going already. Oh well, what’s done is done, I guess. 
Tagging the Senpais: @roses-and-oceans @bespectacled-girl @nifwrites @cupnoodle-queen @themissimmortal @gladiolus-mamacitia 
A True Nightmare
~Chapter 4~ SFW Word Count: 3,885
Mallory was trying her hardest not to appear cynical as Noctis looked at the car with a forlorn look; obviously, this car meant a lot to the crowned prince and his friends seemed to understand that, but Mallory was having a hard time fighting the urge to go up to him and yell 'it's just a CAR'. 
Boys and their cars, I guess-Mallory thought. 
A far off explosion lighting up the night sky got Mallory's attention and the realization hit that they had absolutely no idea where they were. Mallory had to drive a different route to get into Gralea and she only knew the one route, but how were they supposed to find their way through Gralea without a map? Mallory cursed herself for not going with instinct and packing a map with her, telling herself that she knew the way and that it was just a waste of space. It was a fucking piece of paper, Mallory, you had room. 
"Where to now?" Mourning was over, apparently and the three joined Mallory as she stared at a street sign, trying to get her bearings. As if sensing her confusion, Ignis spoke with a slight tilt of the head to better focus his hearing. "You do know where we're going, correct?" 
"That is an excellent question," Mallory mumbled, wanting to kick herself as she tried to piece together the last time she had been to Gralea and to Zegnautus. A piece of FUCKING PAPER, Mallory, what the hell is wrong with you?
"You didn't bring a map? What kind of an 'assassin' are you?" 
"Shut up for a sec, yeah?" Mallory didn't glance at Gladio as she fished out her disposable flip phone from her backpack, shooting a quick text. Got lost, am at Crysallis Ave., how do I get to Z. from here? Closing the phone, Mallory waited, hoping and praying that the response would be quick, partially because Mallory knew if it was that she got out all right. 
"You're texting? Who are you texting?" Noctis sighed exasperatedly and tugged on a few ends of his hair. "That's it, we're dead," 
"She's a friend, and if you want to go die in a corner somewhere, by all means, please do," Mallory was beginning to lose her patience with these guys (minus Ignis, who didn't really seem too judgmental of Mallory, just observant), but ignored it when her phone buzzed and a little mail icon showed up on the front screen where the clock usually was. 
Wait where r u plz dont tell me ur in Nflhm. 
Relief flooded through; the knowledge of one of Mallory's closest friends being safe was like a thousand pound weight being dropped off. But when Mallory read the words, a bad feeling began to grow in her stomach as she responded. Didnt u get my txts
No wait There was a short pause before the texts started flooding Mallory's phone, so fast that Mallory didn't have time to read a text before another one popped up on her screen. 
mal get out serisly shits bad u need 2 go chncllrs gone crzy mts & daemons evrywhr ppl r missing
Well, this was bad-people missing and MT's roaming the streets? Mallory sensed this was a bit more than a coincidence, blowing a piece of hair from her eyes and typed as fast as she could with the old fashioned phone. cant exactly get out now am stuck need 2 get 2 Z. help me out here
A few seconds went by, Mallory tapping her foot impatiently the whole time, when the phone buzzed again. 
u die on me Mal I swear 2 Gods go on crysallis til u get 2 casey dr. go right til u get 2 train tracks follow train tracks military entrnce thre
Mallory sighed, stress and oncoming panic dropping from her shoulders as she looked at the three with new found confidence about where to go. "Head down the road," She explained the directions before they all started following, Ignis occasionally faltering as they maneuvered the road designated for shipping containers. When they reached the railroad tracks, practically destoryed with train cars and shipping containers that laid askew around the tracks, Mallory shot a quick text. Thx Ky owe u
u wont owe me if ur dead b carful
Snickering, Mallory put the phone in her backpack just as they reached a stray train car carefully and barely propped on some debris with a small gap underneath that would give the four enough crawling space. Despite how the thing looked like it was the tiniest nudge away from collapsing, Noctis was already half way under there and Mallory quickly reached forward and pulled him back. She didn't necessarily mean to make the crown prince fall on his butt, but he glared all the same. 
"What?" Noctis stood up, dusting the dirt from his pants like a little kid with a grumpy face to match. 
"MT's are probably guarding the fortress," She didn't mean to sound snippy, but this was basic shit 101 and Mallory was starting to feel more and more like a babysitter every minute. Tired and irritated, Mallory went over to a broken side ladder on the train car before gesturing to Gladio. "Give me a boost and I'll see what we're dealing with here," 
"Isn't that dangerous?" Gladio asked the question, but maybe he figured there was no point in arguing with her because he just bent down and linked his fingers together so Mallory could boost herself up to the ladder and start climbing. 
"When are you assholes going to figure out that I can take care of myself?" Grumbling was always a thing Mallory hated to do, she hated sounding whiny and grumpy. People already thought she was a grouch because of the way she looked and her naturally stern eyes, she didn't need constant bitching to help her in that department. Working with these three, she was starting to remember why she preferred working assignments and stuff by herself, only occasionally teaming up with Aranea. 
Still, Mallory had bigger things to worry about, especially when she reached the top of the traincar. 
"How many are there?" Noctis called up, but Mallory couldn't find an answer. Confusion clouded her brain as she processed what was easily the most popular entrance into the fortress, aside from the main entrance. "Mallory?" 
Shaking her head, Mallory forced herself to respond, though it came out as choked as she was trying to piece everything together. "Nothing. There's no one here," 
No one. One of the most used entrances into Zegnautus, and not a soul was in sight, no one to guard the most heavily guarded megafortress in the world. The whole thing reeked of wrong, something definitely off, but what could it be? What reason could the fortress have to possibly leave itself defenseless? 
"What's going on?" 
She was so focused that she barely noticed Noctis popping up from under the train car-just as she shouted for him to get back, Noctis had accidentally knocked into a bar, which was apparently the only thing holding the train car up, as the moment it was loose the car decided now was the time to fall. Failing to keep her footing, Mallory soon tumbled down the side of the car, winding up stuck on the ground, separated from the others by derailed train cars and shipping containers. 
"Guys?" Mallory shot up to her feet, checking around her for enemies with her gun while calling out. "Anyone?" 
There was no answer, but Mallory swore she could hear vague yelling and running feet, so she continued to yell, hoping her words would reach someone. "If you guys can hear me, head into Zegnautus-on the thirteenth floor is a common area with a cafeteria. Meet me there!" 
"On the thirteenth floor is a common area with a cafeteria. Meet me there!”
Ardyn heard his own breath inhale rather than feel it-the same thing had happened when he saw Aryelle appear on top of the train car, hearing himself suck his breath in rather than feel it. The little trick he had when he showed Aryelle the memory of how they met didn't seem to phase this Aryelle, other than seeming to confuse her, but he was determined...of what, he still wasn't quite sure. Every time he saw her, despite how she was much more stern than the Aryelle he knew, he wanted to see her, to know her, to make her see him. 
And as he stood up to head to the common area in the megafortress, his promise of so many years ago rang in his ears. You will know my redemption. 
A furious kick to the stubborn vending machine gave Mallory what she wanted, a simple can of Ebony. While she hated coffee, despised the bitter taste, the past days of being on a train to Gralea with little to no sleep due to nerves was making her exhausted. She figured she needed the extra caffeine to keep herself on her feet, she just hated the fact that the stubborn machine ate up the last of her gil without giving her what she wanted. A little kick showed that machine what, though the stinging in Mallory's ankle was making her regret her rash decision. 
The bitter taste made her want to gag, but Mallory forced it down her throat before crumbling the can and disposing of it in a recycle bin (why there was a recycle bin in the most industrial place in Niflheim, Mallory would never know). She scooted up onto a picnic bench style table and tried to force herself to relax, though the blaring red light and the rustling of daemon feet in the hallways outside was making it difficult to do so. 
She had managed to clear out the common area fairly easily, as there were only a few daemons in the room when she got there. Mallory left the big metal doors to the common area unlocked, but she would still tense anytime a scurry of feet would approach the door, then sigh with relief as the feet scurried away. But it had been almost three hours of waiting and Mallory was starting to get worried. 
More footsteps-this time, though, the foot falls were different-rather than being hasty, or sloppy (depending on the daemon on the other side), these were careful foot steps and they were definitely human. But Mallory could feel, almost know that the prince and his entourage would not have been walking so lazily down the hallway and stop casually in front of the door, neither opening it nor locking it. Just stand there-whoever this person was, Mallory had a feeling they knew she was in there. 
Reaching for her gun once again, Mallory scooted off the table and carefully placed her feet on the floor. 
Only the floor was different-the common area had grating all throughout the floor, but the floor was now suddenly smooth, like marble. The texture (or lack thereof) from the floor caused Mallory to look down, only to see grey marble flooring versus the common areas grating that looked to some of the prison cells below. 
Naturally, Mallory looked up-only she wasn't in the common area anymore. 
Red blinking lights and sirens were replaced with a peaceful and calm hallway exterior, with the same grey, old fashioned marble decorating the walls. Paintings and ceiling high windows gave the place almost a homely look and now, Mallory couldn't help but feel panic growing in her stomach. 
Mallory had been so on edge, so on the run since the train that she honestly hadn't even had time to think of the weird vision of the barn and the red haired man. Now she was forced to face the reality that maybe the stress was making her lose her mind, maybe years of taking care of Ari and constant close calls with death had finally made Mallory's mind snap. 
Foot steps-again, only behind her. They brought Mallory out of the panic and she whirled around to aim her gun behind her, only there wasn't a soul in sight. There was only the peaceful hallway and...Mallory could hear it again. The humming. A four note lullaby, the same four notes hummed over and over again and it might have been peaceful in different circumstances. 
Walking carefully down the hallway, checking behind her back every few feet to make sure no one was behind her, Mallory shouldn't have honestly noticed the paintings. But there they were and the sight made Mallory stop, partially in awe and partially in fear. 
The paintings on the walls were all the same and they were all of...Mallory? 
No, it was someone who looked just like her. Mallory's hair was the same shade of dark black, but the woman in the painting's hair was longer, stretching down to her waist in long waves. Her facial features were the same, though, with her slightly pointed nose, her heart shaped lips and high cheekbones. Of course, the eyes-the same, mysterious and deep dark green, an almost unworldly color that had been in her family for years and years. 
Mallory instinctively backed away, the woman's eyes almost following her as she tried to leave when something stopped her dead in her tracks. Eyes widening, Mallory leaned forward, positive she was seeing things. 
On the woman's wrist was what looked like a soulmate mark...but it wasn't any mark. 
It was just like Mallory's on her left shoulder, the same shape with the same points, just in a different spot. 
"Aryelle," 
That name again...looking over, Mallory saw the same red haired man again coming down the corridor, only this time he looked a little older-a little meaner too, with a confident and smug look versus the man from the barn, who was young with an easy smile who seemed almost naive. But when he met Mallory's gaze, his golden irises almost softened, though the smug smile he wore was still bitter and cold as he approached. 
When he came within five feet, Mallory instinctively back up and aimed her gun at the man, though he just chuckled at the sight of a gun aimed between his eyes. 
"How different you are now...I suppose it doesn't matter, does it?" With a long and deep sigh, the man turned to the painting and gazed with a wonder and love that only his eyes shown at the woman in the painting. "She was just like the soulmate mark on her wrist...a star. Beautiful to look at, but unattainable to the human touch," With the same look of fondness in his eyes, but still not in the rest of his face, the man touched the back of his fingers gently to the woman in the painting's face, gently stroking the canvas. 
Mallory shivered, swearing she could feel icy cold fingers against her cheek. "What's happening to me?" The whisper was more of a question for herself than anyone else, but the man turned his attention away from the painting to focus once again on her. 
"I promised that day that I would show you and everyone my redemption...at last, that day has come," With a grand sweep, the man knelt before her, his warm and loving golden irises in the cold face gazing at Mallory. She tried to shake the foggy feeling out of her mind, but she couldn't, couldn't fight the odd sense of longing in her stomach and the race of her heartbeat. She knew logically that none of this made sense, that she didn't know this man, but she still found herself crouching down beside him. She still felt her heart flutter like crazy when he grazed the back of his cold fingers along her cheek. 
"Aryelle," he whispered, inching closer and closer with each word he spoke. "My soul...my half...my star...my life..." 
He was so close that she could smell a bitter stench of cologne, could feel the hot stinking breath on her face, but she couldn't force herself to stand up. Couldn't force herself to think as he slowly closed his eyes as a single phrase chanted in her head. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. 
But she still felt her eyes closing, but was somehow able to fight the draw to close her eyes when a brilliant blue object appeared just over the man's shoulder. 
A blue feather? 
A biting cold and snowy wind almost knocked Mallory off her feet and onto her bottom, but she steadied herself with the palms of her hands as she stayed crouched. The man and the peaceful corridor was gone, but it was replaced by the whiteness of a snow storm, the cold biting into her skin and if she wasn't questioning her sanity, Mallory would have been relieved that she was wearing her winter coat. 
"What's happening to me?!?!" Mallory didn't even hear her own scream over the wind of the storm, but she was too frozen and panicked to care at this point. 
Because the image of Ari, alone in a cold and sunless world with no one to protect her, flooded Mallory's mind. The image of Ari panicking as daemon's surrounded her wouldn't leave Mallory and she screamed with no one but the wind to hear. Her sister, unable to function, now alone in this world, unable to defend herself...
Because of Mallory-her lack of sanity. While she always knew that her missions were dangerous, she always had the confidence to come back home to her sister. She figured if she did die, it would be because of a shot to the head. 
Not because she had lost her mind. 
Through the white blanket of snow and sleet, a sudden image appeared. The image waved and moved, almost like a window curtain flapping in the wind, but Mallory could clearly see snippets of something happening in the image. Almost like watching a TV, Mallory watched the red headed man make grand flourishes to King Regis, making promises of peace and tranquility, but going back to the Empire to signal the attack on Insomnia. Mallory cringed as the man bent down by the oracle with a cold and cynical look, sinking a dagger into her stomach as Lady Lunafreya's eyes went wide in pain and fear. Mallory wanted to claw her own ears out at hearing Ignis Scientia's screams of pain at being blinded by the man, his cold and smug look never once going away as he smiled like he enjoyed bringing so much pain to someone. She wanted to cry as she watched the man taunt and mock a young blonde boy as he sat on the ground and practically sobbed, though she didn't know over what. 
All that pain and misery...brought on by this man. 
A hand grabbed onto her left wrist, squeezing so tightly that the bones might snap underneath as the snow storm melted away and somehow, Mallory knew she was back in reality. The man was back, only he now appeared angry as he tightened the hold on Mallory's wrist. A blue, ethereal glow made his eyes look almost black as he tried to yank Mallory beside her, despite her resistance as she placed her palm on the cold, metal grating of the floor below her. 
"Aryelle," The man hissed, his voice dripping with the venom of a snake as a dark, oozing blackness started to appear from him. "Come to me," 
It was at that moment that Mallory realized that this man, the person from her visions, was a person of pure and horrific evil. She didn't know what he wanted with her and she didn't care, she only knew she had to escape. With quick reflexes she had learned over years of dangerous missions, she grabbed the switchblade out of her back pocket, flipped it up and sank the knife into the man's leg, right beneath his knee cap. A simple twist and pull popped the knee cap out of place, though the man didn't roar like others she had performed the trick on had. But he did flinch and hiss through his teeth, clearly in pain as Mallory left the blade forgotten in his knee and stood up to run away. 
"Mallory!" Gladiolus, Ignis and a young blonde boy, the one from the snow storm vision, appeared behind her, all of them out of breath as they looked at the man pulling the knife out of his knee. "Where's Noct?" Gladiolus asked her. 
Mallory shook her head, sure confusion was as clear on her face as it felt. "I thought he was with you guys," 
"We sent him on torwards the crystal," Ignis explained with his eyes cast ahead, not really focusing on anything due to his blindness. "We were surrounded-has he absorbed the power from the crystal yet?" 
"He's gone," 
The four turned their attention to the man as he straightened up, looking almost un-bothered now despite his knee being severely damaged. He turned and focused his smug gaze at the group, but he focused on Mallory, his body framed by the blue glow from the crystal behind him. "I'm afraid you won't be seeing your friend again for quite sometime," 
"What?" Confusion and whiplash from being jerked around from so many places in the span of what felt like less than ten minutes clouded Mallory's mind, but she didn't have time to react as Gladiolus summoned his broadsword and swung it at the man with a roar and the blonde boy shot him twice in the back, the man falling with his hat rolling casually away. 
"Die, motherfucker," The blonde boy whispered, his voice choked with tears. 
"He's not dead," the words left Mallory's mouth before she really understood them, not sure how she knew he wasn't dead. And sure enough, he wasn't, as he stood up with his fedora and placed it casually on his head before turning and looking at Mallory and she almost wanted to scream at what she saw. 
The man was almost daemon like now, the whites in his eyes now inky black and oozing, making the bright golden irises stand out in contrast. His face and skin was now pale and cracked in several places, like a broken china doll and he now looked as evil as he was. 
"You will know my redemption, Aryelle," The words were fueled with anger and bitterness, but he didn't stay to explain what it meant as he simply strolled to the elevator, leaving the four alone in one of the capitals of magitek industries. 
It felt like the air returned to the room the minute the doors to the elevator closed and Mallory gasped and began to pant, not realizing before she had been holding her breath. As she collected herself, she realized she felt something wet and thick on her hand. 
Mallory prided herself on being calm and collected even in the grimmest of situations, but when she saw the man's daemon like black and oozy blood covering her hand from where she stabbed him, the scream she let loose practically echoed throughout all of Gralea. 
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anti-transphobia · 7 years
Text
IF YOU CANT SCROLL DOWN AND TELL THIS POST IS REALLY LONG THE SHORTEET ANR BEST I COULD GET IT WITH MY CURRENT SITUATUATION IS THE HEART BULLETS SO IF YOU WANNA REQD ANYRHINT AT ALL I RECCOMEND THAT UNLESS YOU UAVE A GOOD ATTENTION SPAN AND/OR ARE INTERESTED AND THE AFFECTS OF CERTAIN DRUGS ON PEOPLE OR U IF YOU WNNA KNO W HOE UNBEARABLEBYOULL BE IF YOU DO DUMB SHIT AND TRY TO KILL YOURSELF WITH MEDS
Even if i "sound" (by how im typing) like im fine right now please please keep in mind i am not. I am in physical pain and will be for a while which will disable me for a while. i hope that isnt ableist to say? Its true i will be temporarily unable to walk and when i can not for long and without hurtint myself. It may not be the best choice of words but im not sure. Please correct me if im wront and i hope im not asking for all kinds of special treatmeant but please be kind about it. Being in a bad place doesny make it okay but i do need peoppes kid gloves on right now or else i may make some person who may just be trying to help feel bad abt themselves for possibly making me more depressed and suicidal. I know this is a good posibility if people arent gentle with me but it doesnt mean i can stop how i feel if it happens. Back to the topic which i cant even remember (im gonna reiterate this destroys my memory as well as ability to focus on something which is a dangerous combo) so it may not ah make any fucking sense. It sounds like i was talking abt how much pain im still in with a focus on my physical pain instead of my mental and how it stills affects and limits me. Well. Not sure where i was going with that and while if youre one of those ppl who get concerned over strangers ans stuff uh i forgot what i was writit here! Honestly no exaggeration. I thought abt my fp for a split second and ive already lost my point. I suppose i coulve just deleter the sentence and skipped that or tjought of something else to say but in case youre the one forgettib somethin here, rambling side affect. I am on the verge of making this a 20 page post abt how i cant stop ramblint while im saying im rambling. Sorry so sorry i have little control over every part of me, inside my brain and out under normal circumstances so ywah its 10000× worse now. Attempting to get back on poiny again, i think ppl who get worriee abt others easily shouldbt worrt too much abt whether im gonna die right now bc it all depends on how fast i recover and whether my parents are working today so i have tue chance to harm myself more. God i have no idea whwt rhie post means or was supposed to be abt. Ill try to summarize what i thini is goin on ans what i was truna say BAD SUMMARY POSSIBLY UNLESS I KNOW MYSELF PRETTY WELL WHICH I THINK I DO: ☆im not healed yet im still dealing with a lot of things rn even though i may still appear okay to some. While ppl on the verge of attemptiny suicide or harming themsepves have just as valid feelings as people who actually do, and being close to hurtiny yourself takes definite time to heaol, im going to go out on a hopefully not rude or bad limb and say ppl who actually do it generally need more recovery time and ppl need to understand the healing wont be as fast as it may be if nothit was actually done ☆ i forgot the second thing so ill write this here as a genuine and unnppanned reminder that this is having very clear affects on me. Also the laco of sleep for over a day is gonna fuk w me on its own combinee with drug usage soo yeh ☆ i remember now ppl who get concerner shouldbt be too concerned abt me dying atm or in a too near future ☆ i dont encourage ppl to worry abt me and the fact some ppl aay they do feels like a joke to me but there are definately things to worry abt. Even if you think physical health is less important than mental health which most ppl unfortunately dont see them as equal, my physical health and mental health are connected in many ways right now. If i get too stressed, scared (an im extremely paranoid rn on the verge of a freakout constantly), or even happy/excited my increases heart rate will go nuts and put nearly unbearable pain which may in turn worsen my mental health and create a cycle of pain ☆ once again i keep forgetting andb as the side affects are worsening im becoming less anr less like the person who solemly started to write this post (i think the word fits accurately here but it sounds odd. Dont let this make you think im happy, im in no way happy. I just have a shit ton of energy which if i caree abt my wellbeing would b dangerous bc its easier for ke to kill myself now. Or it woipd be if it werent for the fact im in a lot of paij rn for a variety of reasons) ☆with that last bullet im p sure i was gonna say i love you guys. I didnt so i will say t here!! I love you guts you guys have helped me 'kay? BEAR WITH ME AS I ATTEMPT TO SHORTEN WHWT I SAY FOR EVERYONES BENEFIT EVEN IF IT TAKES 5 TRIES ANE 4 POSTS Buttercup Tries a Summary 2.0 ♡im in a lot of pain right now. Im shaking for a few reasojs and oje of em is bc im in a shitton of pain ♡please be kind to me for a bit. more gentle then you woule usually have to be with me. i dont wnna ask for too much but even joking around without saying youre joking very blatantly could make everythibg a lot worse which i dont wnna happen bc it woulsbbe unfair to a persob meaning no harm ♡i dont think i said i love you guys? I love you guys ♡im probablt missing a shit ton of impprtant thints so im just gojna sau im in a lot o f pain holy fuck if you even have a casual conversatioj im probabky gonna mention how my body is dying and not peacefully ♡Oh JUST REMEMBEREE MY PHONE BATTERY. ITS AT 6%. IT WAS AT 11/12 WHEN I STARTED WRITING THIS POST. IT TAKES ME THAT LONG TO SAY SIMPLE THINGS IN MY CURRWNT STATE (im gonna grt an estimate of how long this post took and put it in the tags and if anyones interested or willijg to humour me and pretend to care i can find tags of a big suicide attempt i did when i was 13/early14 just so you can. Get a grasp of how bad my rambling can REALLY be) ♡puttin this with a new heart cuz the last one is too damned long now fuck you buttercuo and ur dumb ass anyways my phone is at 5% now ans still lowering. I m physically unavle to get toje computer wnd while i can use my phone while chargij t it doesnt work as well and everyhiny i do will taoe even longer. It fucks w the keypad so my spellijy will probabky be worse agian ajd tumblt wouod die every other minute so
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voidwizerd-archive · 7 years
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[[ “What the hell is a Kankri?” Wiz Lalonde, prior to realizing a Mista k e
part one of Wiz/Kankri logs from yesterday and today ]]
valorousimperial Mm........ I don't understand.
wiz-texts um im sorry i think u have th wrong account who r u??? u seem confused bout somethin i hope u get in contact w th person ur tryin to reach they prolly got th answers ur lookin fr
valorousimperial I don't think anyone has the answers I'm looking for. They died with your memory of me. Enjoy that unmarked body.
wiz-texts wait. what??? im sorry i dont kno who u r also i havent posted *nothin* bout an unmarked body how th fuck do u kno bout that????
valorousimperial Well, up to last light, we WERE quadranted. I've seen you naked a few times.
wiz-texts okay..... that is bullshit, n u r confused. i may have bad memory but not *that* bad
valorousimperial Wiz Lalonde you cannot possibly have forgotten the stipulations of the deal you made.
valorousimperial ...I'm Kankri.
wiz-texts ...i forgot you i. how could i have im so sorry i dont understand whats happenin
valorousimperial Makes two of us.
wiz-texts im so sorry no that. that prolly dont mean shit. fuck.
valorousimperial ... Not really. No.
wiz-texts Lilac n Red are tellin me not to run away, n i wont, but this is your home im in, apparently
valorousimperial A couple of nights ago, it was your home, too.
wiz-texts i wont stay here if you dont want me to. after what i jus did... fuck, i wouldnt blame you one second for tellin me to leave
wiz-texts ...it still feels like it is
wiz-texts i, im sorry. ill keep my thoughts to myself do.... do you want me to go?
valorousimperial No I'm glad this is still your home
valorousimperial Everyone keeps telling me this will... Get better. I don't know how. But it won't happen if I make you leave.
wiz-texts theyre tellin me that too i dont see how
wiz-texts im so sorry. im so sorry for hurtin you. im so sorry for all of this i wish i could give you th answers and i wish i could make everythin better im sorry
valorousimperial It hurts
[[ Hours In The Future, But Not Many... ]]
valorousimperial Anyway, I thought you should know that those are my teeth.
wiz-texts *fuck* im im sorry i kept holdin it because it felt nice should i not..?????? im sorry
valorousimperial No it
valorousimperial Actually Really comforts me to hear that You did that before. When you were stressed.
wiz-texts i did...? it does feel nice. anchorin but what i did, i shouldnt......
valorousimperial It's fine.
wiz-texts doesnt seem that way fuck, i. am i supposed to talk to you? not talk to you???? i dont know
wiz-texts i dont want to keep hurtin you more than i have...
valorousimperial I I don't know what's fine and not fine
valorousimperial I know I'm selfish and awful and if there's one scar left on you and I made it, if you keep holding it because it makes you feel better, if you don't recoil from it just for existing, then Then they can't have taken everything about me from you.
wiz-texts i..... i think i like it, actually
valorousimperial ??
wiz-texts i like how it looks, n feels. it's got these sorta... ridges?? th dents from th teeth are fun to trace my fingers over is..... is that okay for me to say??? is *any* of this okay gosh i dunno....
valorousimperial Yes.
wiz-texts yes??
valorousimperial I think a lot of things aren't okay. But this is. This is This is them failing. This is them not taking us away from each other. This is good.
valorousimperial I guess that we have to meet one another again.
valorousimperial [[ oh shit it’s dat beautiful boi.jpg aka mun sent an actual picture but i’m being a dork ]] This is me, I'm a troll. Which you had probably figured out.
wiz-texts yea no offense but im in your palace, id be a little concerned if you werent a troll ha youre..... youre really pretty n i have a confession, ive already seen this picture
valorousimperial This is the whole picture!! And it's not tiny!! I like to think that I'm pretty, I'm glad you do, too.
wiz-texts because i went through all the tags and message history like..... five or six times already nothin came back. im sorry
valorousimperial ... Oh, I Didn't figure it would But I'm glad you tried.
wiz-texts i wanted to try. wanted to see if i could feel..... *somethin* like memory
valorousimperial I assume there's not even a sense of deja vu.
wiz-texts it feels different. ive forgotten a lot of things n those are all fuzzy, its like..... like my brain is swamped in a fog
wiz-texts this, though, it dont feel fuzzy it feels like its just been..... scooped right outta my brain. cant remember what isnt there anymore, right
valorousimperial Right I don't begrudge you that. I begrudge you WHY it's gone. But not that it is.
wiz-texts there is some kinda feelin but i dont know if thats because of my guilt or nah. great mystery right there.....
wiz-texts not deja vu. somethin else
valorousimperial ?
wiz-texts like..... shucks, i dunno how to word it
wiz-texts .....
wiz-texts heck
valorousimperial The best you can do works for me.
wiz-texts i. i dont know, i.... feel like maybe its out of line?? too soon???? im just... lookin at things and thinkin n searchin until things go blurry
valorousimperial It's never too soon for you to take comfort in things. You and I, We'll just Play it by ear, right? And maybe things can work again. Do you maybe want to play a questions game?
wiz-texts i aint.... exactly takin comfort in it i dont think???
valorousimperial ?
wiz-texts it. mm. th thing i keep feelin goin through th tags ......because im a stubborn fuck n starin at everythin for. i think this is my fourteenth time through th whole thing
wiz-texts it aint deja vu but its like......... somethin of me *does* know you???? not a memory but. somethin .........
valorousimperial Well This is the part where you intimately relearn my penchant for dirty jokes, I guess But I bet I can guess what part of you remembers me...
wiz-texts ....you actually got me to laugh there sounded more like this wheezin sorta thing but thats what it was
valorousimperial Pfft.
wiz-texts but no its like... ppl talk bout butterflies in their stomachs, when they like someone, right???? its like that i guess
valorousimperial !!!!
wiz-texts except its more in my chest n it feels like..... a knot??? a knot gettin pulled tighter n tighter n then i get overwhelmed n i cry but i dont. know if thats good or bad it feels good AND bad if that makes any sense i dunno....... i dunno
valorousimperial Less !!!! Butt still at least !
wiz-texts why????
valorousimperial I just I want you to feel things about me.
wiz-texts i do too i want to feel *all* th things bout you, i want to feel everythin i did before n like add a whole bunch more on top to. to make up for this if you want me to if you dont thats... thats okay. rly its your decision
valorousimperial I don't know
valorousimperial I'm
wiz-texts .....obviously i already made mine. ha....
valorousimperial I'm really fucked up about this.
wiz-texts i know. im sorry i shouldnt have said that
valorousimperial ...yes. You did make your decision. But you had to have had a reason. Because all this... Getting rid of the hated scars, and leaving mine behind The fluttering and the tightness in you when you look at who we were together
wiz-texts im blurtin out everythin that comes into my head, ill....... ill stop. i shouldnt be doin this to you. i shouldnt its gotta be hurtin you n i dont want that
valorousimperial WANTING to have what we did again You clearly don't hate me, or my memory. So you You had to have had a reason.
wiz-texts ..... yea but i... i cant begin to understand it. i remember how much i hated th scars but...... it doesnt make sense. ive been tryin all night n it doesnt make sense
valorousimperial ?
valorousimperial All night? Like, all of all night? Did you get a nap? Did you focus on something else?
wiz-texts not...... really......
valorousimperial !! Are you very tired?
wiz-texts dunno? dunno ???????? um
valorousimperial You used to get really very exhausted Easily.
wiz-texts i have been picked up by a judgin troll lady
valorousimperial ?????
wiz-texts Lilac keeps. voodooin ppl in here i kinda barricaded th door n hid away for a little so i could think
valorousimperial He's a good clown.
wiz-texts um. it seems that was a while ago. breakfast time????? what time is it now i dont think im exhausted but its hard to tell so. oh well
valorousimperial You haven't eaten AT ALL? Oh, Wiz, no No, don't do that.
wiz-texts i forgot. didnt feel hungry or much of anything else tbh scold Keeune too he's been awake since his shift last light wtf
valorousimperial Keeune is attached to you and doing much what I would if I found out you were mysteriously sick.
wiz-texts im not? sick?????
valorousimperial In a way.
wiz-texts ....oh
wiz-texts um
wiz-texts you should go to sleep. i wouldnt wanna keep you when your moirail is waitin
valorousimperial No, I'm okay.
wiz-texts mm......
valorousimperial Let's play the questions game. What's your favorite color?
valorousimperial Oh, I didn't see his post
wiz-texts ha. yea thats what i meant
valorousimperial He's so drowsy. He'll fall asleep any minute.
wiz-texts u should go to him though!!
valorousimperial I'm with him.
wiz-texts then like.... go to sleep???
wiz-texts [[ wiz, internally: give attention to your real quad..... ]]
valorousimperial What’s your favorite color?
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