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chasseuses · 3 years

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reasons why i love jade leech part 3

I don't know why I'm doing this again I am a big fool goodbye ☠️ but ahhahahwhahjwhsjfhfjfnfkbdsjbdkdbjd im a doormat for him so. haha. I'll just. fukcignvkjgknv everyone pls look away this is the last post i swear 🤩

Part 1, 2

So.... 🤡 Hi I'm back again with another simp post I'm your local Jade simp and I'm here to point out reasons why I'm an absolute doormat for this eel and why I'm staying as one.

I'M FUCKIFNCGD. SCRVEN AMWIANAJWBAJVWKQVWKAGAKAVDKFBYKDGSKEIANSJAMEINSLENDKEBEKSBEKSHEKDJEKSJRKDJRKDHSKDHKEHSKEBSKEJDLDHDKDBDKHRKDBEKSHEKSUSMS

Ok so, URGFKFHDKDUDKSJSKFHDKGDKDHD if you've been here long enough or something i think i posted something about his initial birthday suit up illustration here which i wrote while i was sobbing and being overly emotional over him.

BUT BASICALLY. IT WAS ABOUT HIS SMILE. I MEAN RTHGJKHJGK JADE LEECH..... SMILING.............N N .VJV.JV. WITHOUT ANY ULTERIOR MOTIVES...... IM FUCKFING DEAD YO!!!!!

HEAR ME OUT. I JUST GJVKJGKVNGKV ... dont u think there's just something about someone as shady as jade who looks shady 90% of the time look like he's not shady for the first time ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

idk if that made sense but yeah.

ALSO IDK IF ANYONE WAS SIMPING HARD ENOUGH TO NOTICE BUT LIKE 😭 IF U COMPARE HIS HANDS TO FLOYD'S THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

and now if you've known me long enough to know that i am a big fan of his hands, you'll know that i went absolutely crazy over this detail!!!!!! THEY WERE ROUGHER THAN FLOYD'S AND THAT WAS JUSTHGJJGKGKFNKFKGNGKGNFKDDJFKGNGKFJF A DIRECT HIT TO THE GUT WHAT THE FUCK DISPLEX YOU CANT DO THIS TO US 😭😭😭😭😭

do u see the fork he's holding?

yeah

i wanna be that fork so bad

im not even kidding

i legit want to be that fork.

why?

haha.

you dont need to know

ANYWAYS. ONTO THE STORY 🥰

we got a lot of lore for the twins this time around and i am tHRIVING :BIBBEK:

"However, and this is unusual for me, but so many people wishing me ‘Happy birthday’ has made me rather embarrassed." HELP?????????&(&!4(£;#(-__8-##(-_(£+£(£ I II I I I I HUCHJWNWISHEJDHWOHSKWGSKSYAKGSKA HI KAUAKSGKAGSKSGSJAYJAGSJAGAJSYSIGSJGSJSHSJAHsks

Their mother!!! Uses!!! -san!!!! At the end of their names!!!!!!! Which got me going 🧐 that is not usual at all!!!!! wtf is going on in the leech household

a lot of ppl theorized mafia stuff and all of that which honestly makes sense imo and also because i find that hella hot HAHSMDGSKDHKSJS mr leech...... 😳 mafia.... HELPGKFJKGJFKF

wait. won't that mean he's rich.

bonus points eyy /j GFJFHFJDHJFNF

"Well, they do say that married couples take after each other… It’s good that they get along well." MR LEECH YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE RFNJVJKHKGKGKOGJGKVJKFCKIJGKTJKFFJKDHDKXHFFHFJ

guys im losing it

if that wasn't already obvious RHUFHGUF

HELLO????????? ONE OF THE REASONS WHY HE LIKES TERRARIUMS??1?"!"!'! HELPFKVKV CONTROL IT'S CONTROL

"Whether they live or die is also up to me…" i just think.

no i dont think but you get what i mean why the fuck is that line lowkey hot lmfao something is wrong with me

i dont knwo why the fuck but the fact that he likes unpredictability is also kinda????? lmao how boring was ur life that everything u did went exactly your way 😭 how does that bring u amusement i cant relate gomen mr leech

or am i completely wrong idk 🗿 mr leech tell me more about you onegai

Ok honestly, before the birthday card came out, I thought their earrings were like,,, from their parents or something. like heirlooms!! i thought they were precious in that aspect but what i rlly didn't expect is for them to fckinghgkgngknfkf FIGHT A DAMN STURGEON FOR ITS SCALES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

deadass why would a sturgeon challenge them anyways 🧐 and the twins were just like, "ok sure but can we have your scales if we win" and they rlly did 😭 just how strong were you guys before middle school wtf!!!!

and they turned the scales into earrings 🧐 which is now what they wear!! p cute

they're apparently popular to use as amulets in the coral sea so i. i fucking rotted over this AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA hrufhfigjofhckfbcjc should i delve deeper into this? no. but perhaps you can find out what my rot is about just by reading this single bullet

"Floyd and I have gone near beaches on nights with fireworks as well." HELEPEHLEPDFKLEGSLDOSODB EGHFKCNDKMCURLDHLDGSMX

WATCHIFNFG FIREOEKSKF WITHHF JADE AJFNJFVJFHKDHF

ohmigod this is getting way longer than intended 🤡 should i continue

yeah fucj it HFJVHFJHCJFHJCJ everybody pls ignore my rot 😌

as all of you know, jade wears purple eyeliner. that's right.

Purple eyeliner.

Why does this matter, you ask? Oh sweet summer child, it may not matter to you but to me—eyeliner is super fucking hot I kid you not I started crying at night when I thought about this and wrote a mini essay about it like a fool so I'm just going to.

I am legitimately losing my shit over this like-?? Who allowed you to fucking put on eyeliner? You're already deadly without them and more so with them.

It honestly makes me wonder if he puts this on his own or not but seeing how deft he is with his hands, it's not a stretch to assume that he puts it on his own.

And I find that really hot since look at those clean strokes..!! He's better at applying them than me. I have this desire to let him do my makeup but when I think about it I start making incomprehensible noises and bury my face into my pillow. Purple eyeliner just-? Looks so good on him?

It should be illegal at this rate he looks so tempting I hate it. Sometimes I just have this urge to ruin in, I don t care how I just want to smudge it for some reason. Like deadass, I just want you all to appreciate how good his eyes look!

HELP HIS EYESDHFHTKHEKFHDKFHDMFHKDHFKSGDK IM FUCKFINDG LSOING IT

WHY DO I LOVE HIS EYES SO MUCH I DONT FUCKING KNOW I'VE NEVER BEEN A FAN OF CHARACTERS WITH MISMATCHED EYES BUT WITH HIM IM JUSTHGJJFJG KG NVM

His eyes are fucking beautiful, man. 🤡💞 Could stare at them for hours and never get tired!!!!

Need I say more?

BRO IM FUVKGIGNVJKGVKNGKFHFKFFJF HIS TEETH IM CRYIGGN WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK I KNEW THEY WERE SHARP BUTJGKVJGKGJFKGJCKFJKCFJKFFHKCJFKGJDOFHKDHFKDHDKDHDJ BARKBARKBARKBARK

I mean what 🗿

guys displex is insane because they literally made jade have two ssrs in a row with banners that were available at the same time do you know how painful that was for me

when jamil bday card dropped all i lost ebg because i panicked over the thought of a jade bday card and started saving!!! and i did!!!! i managed to save up 100 pulls and i was so fucking chill after that but then,

abema stream happened

i was asleep when that happened so when i woke up i had like 283628 pings in discord telling me that he has an ssr for the halloween event and i was just 🗿 yo say sike his bday is soon displex must be joking

haha nope! they were dead serious.

that shit was painful i started crying 🤡 what the fuck because i didn't have enough gems for both ssrs and his halloween card was just absolutely beautiful.

so i went insane and saved 200 copies of the same jade card in attempt to make him come home before pity so i dont have to whale

I mean,

Black nails.

The bandages.

The harness.

The hat is kinda ugly but that's ok.

THE BELTS AT HIS WAISTFJTKDJRKFBFKFHOFHDKDHDKSGDKSHSKXHSKJS

SO I WAS REALLY DESPERATE AHHSHDHFJFGHJFJF THANKFULLY THEY BOTH CAME HOME BEFORE PITY SO TYSM JADE I LOVE U FOR THAT AHAHJAHDJ

oh shit this got long so imma just end this here 🐬 if you read this far, congrats HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

#reasons why i love jade leech #twisted wonderland #twst #twst meme #disney #jade leech #octavinelle #twst jade #twisted wonderland jade #simp post #HELP IM CRYINGJGJFKFK I JUST #I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME I JUST HAD THE NEED TO MAKE THIS #🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 PLEASKEKDKD I JUST LOVE HIM #bRO I #stan jade leech #o shit o fuck 🤡#i just realized what i wrote in this whole post #i am not thirsty i swear

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omegangrins · 4 years

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[Kingsmen 3: The Golden Service] Harry Hart turns "villain"

TL;DR: The Lepidopterist is the *perfect* name for a "colorfull" megalomaniac who's trying to save the world via villainy.

I've allways had a nagging feeling that Colin Firth's Harry Hart is destined to become a villain. Like Valentine and Poppy, our Hart will break.

Why do I think this? Let's start simple:

1) "I always felt that the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac."

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Now you could take it as face value veiled metaphor in their cat and mouse game. A game recognize game moment. Though when you look at it from a character angle, it is rather apparent that Galahad is not lying here. Look at the giddy nature in which they both talk about the subject. Almost lost in a moment of childhood nostalgia. Neither man is lying. So if Valentine tried to save the world like his younger self wanted, then it stands to reason that Harry has that childhood dream himself.

Harry even has a flair for the dramatic already. "Manners maketh man" is all about him causing a dignified scene to teach a lesson to all watching. In the Freebird church scene, you can see it BEFORE he starts fighting because of Valentine's machine.

Feels like a simple "I'm going to the bathroom" or "I'm hot and need to breath outside for moment" would have sufficed and gotten him out of there without hassle from the crazy Baptist and he KNEW that but didn't care. Arthur implies this subversiveness in their conversations about choosing candidates. Then there's the *way* in which he kills everyone there. Not just defense or trying to kill quickly but lots of slow, painful, and fucked up deaths. The killing is Valentine but the style is ALL Harry. It's part of the reasons he's disgusted. Not the enjoyment, but the ease with which he turned so gleefully. That slow motion fade in smile in the middle is proof of this. Harry *wanted* to punish those people the same way Valentine did. That's proven by what he says at the start. (Don't blame him either, just character commenting. Fuck those people.) Part of me thinks the Freebird is playing in *HIS* head. He's a bird freed by blood.

2) The Lepidopterist

I know the clip is from Venture Bros but it's meant to show how two "good guys" became bad. Kinda the perfect coincidence. But I digress... it was a shameless plug to #SavetheVentureBros. 😎😙😍

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The hobbyist collecting of insects, fauna/flora, and what-have-yous has looooong been a trope of "colorful megalomaniacs".

Then there's the added bonus that The Lepidopterist sounds like the *perfect* name for a Bond villain.

Butterflies even symbolize death and rebirth and the violence inherent in transforming something for the better.

Is Harry's butterflies a set-up foreshadowing to his coming transformation from "hero" to "villain"?

"I doubt whether I'd work for anyone who drowns their employees. I want to go home. I want my butterfly collection. I want to see Mother."

3) As we know, all the best villains are ones we sympathize with and understand WHY they do what they do. Valentine was trying to solve over-population and save what he could of the species so it wouldn't happen again. Poppy wanted drugs to be legal, partially for vanity reasons but mainly for anger at global government hypocrisies (the same governments which had their heads blown up for trying to kill humanity for their own gain). Wouldn't it fit perfectly for Harry Hart to have seen the horrors inflicted by the world governments and the corruption of not only Statesmen, but his beloved Kingsmen themselves, and say "No more." What's he gonna feel when he finds out Arthur sold the Kingsmen's soul and got him killed? How long has the "shoot the dog" exercise been in practice? Why is trying to drown someone thought of as a reasonable way to help them? Does the rot go to the core? All things any reasonable person would ask after being shot for an organization that was just blown up by a drug dealer.

"When I was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind? It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."

Who's to say what he would do or the methods he would take, but villains are merely people casting shadows in the way of the light.

4) I put this last because it's more pun than the others and because I only realized it while writing their names out loud. Valentine. Poppy. Hart. A valentine is love, poppies symbolize death, and a heart combines both (a Hart is also the name for an adult male deer over the age of five but I'm not British enough to understand what the fuck that has to do with anything.) There's also Richmond Valentine/Rich Man Love (Rich dude saving the world). Poppy Adams/ Poppy of the Earth (Death of the World). And finally Harry Hart/Harry Heart. An attacking heart. Yeah, that's the old definition of "harry". To harass. (Or Power Ruler of the Five Year Old Male Deer. This isn't an exact science 🙃 ). Honestly, as I write these out, the puns become the hardest piece of proof for me. Brits love a good wordplay foreshadowing.

"... this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

AND what else do they have in common? They're all things associated with the color red. And what's red?

BLOOD.

Sorry, couldn't resist the touch of drama. 🤣

P.S. I know it's not really related but I also subscribe to the Poppy is a former Statesmen theory as well.

Making this an even more thematic connection. Good guys gone villain because of shitty situations.

Edits

5) HE'S WEARING AN EYEPATCH!!! How autistic am I that I missed that in my explanation. Eyepatches just seem that normal to me but they're like the ultimate villain accessory. Unless you're a pirate.

6) /u/Bespoke3 pointed out how the one thing keeping this from happening is Eggsy and Harry's relationship, and I contended that it was true. While making an interesting movie, you need a sufficient reason for those two to be on opposite ends of each other. And in rambling through comments, I found it. This is why you write shit outloud:

It's Princess Tilde!

The first movie showed that world leaders would gladly sell their souls to save themselves, Princess Tilde being one of the few exceptions. The second showed that even after those figureheads exploded (see what I did there 🤣), there was still terrible people left in charge making even worse decisions.

What if Harry's plan is to attack all of the "leaders" of the world as a way to show people they have the power to govern themselves. This would put Princess Tilde, and moreso her family, directly in the line of fire and force Eggsy's hand to intervene and choose.

Save the girl or save the world.

7) As /u/baddestmofointhe209 pointed out, Harry *was* shot in the head. That kind of thing does tend to mess with people after the fact. Maybe turning villain isn't such a stretch. Not evil, but morally grey.

8) My wife was telling me about how Colin Firth has allways wanted to play the villain too.

"Whenever you take on playing a villain, he has to cease to be a villain to you. If you judge this man by his time, he's doing very little wrong."

“I’d never rule out a part in Doctor Who or Torchwood – especially Doctor Who, I’d also love to play a villain like Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes."

9) Thanks to some pushback from /u/The-Reddit-Giraffe, I decided to Google Kingsmen 3 rumors and stumbled on this little nugget about it, and specifically the Harry/Eggsy relationship:

"I'm really not allowed to say anything, but there is a script. It's a really neat idea."

Outside of it telling the finale of Eggsy and Harry Hart's story, we don't know all that much about the plot for the third movie.

"People will either freak out in a good way, or freak out in a bad way, but they will freak out," Vaughn teased. "We're literally finishing the script off as I speak – but they go on a journey that, if anyone sees it coming, then I'll give up."

To which I would like to thank YOU. This is why I love being shown how I could be wrong. I can't help but feel like this is EXACTLY what they're talking about. You don't have a script finished that fast if you didn't already know where you were going with the first two.

It HAS to end like this. Now I can't see any other way. Maybe The Rock is the Big Bad they have to team up to stop at the end but I will say with 99% confidence that Harry Hart will turn rogue for the first 2/3 of the movie.

10) This wouldn't be the first time I was right about something like this either.

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