So I think I may have cracked the code. Listening to Clara Bow w this context in mind from the 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages makes the lyrics cut even deeper and explains the purpose of the anthology.
What Taylor is essentially saying is that above all else she is proud of her humanity. “Human. Human. Human.” “Flesh and blood.” Unlike some ppl in Hollywood like greedy big suits (cough SB^2 cough Big Machine cough) she’s managed to keep her humanity intact and didn’t let these negative experiences corrupt her or turn her bitter. She was able to find peace and courage in spite of it. And she’s saying I am abt to come out of the closet and while I am hopeful I’m also a little fearful. But isn’t that an amazing thing? Because being fearful, sad, furious, insecure, hopeful—these experiences are unique to humans! “Your heart beats red and hot and furious in your chest.”
“And most importantly, they will know about the human heart.” THIS is the purpose of the anthology. This is why she released 31 (13 backwards) songs for her fans to dissect and decode. Bc she wants them to understand that she’s not a god. She’s a flawed human just like the rest of us.
I think there’s a very good chance that THIS is what her movie is going to be about. Her journey out of the closet and all the hardship that came along w it and helping other ppl to understand the human heart. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a memoir that was released w it—“the professor said to write what you know.” And it makes sense too why the manuscript lyrics match perfectly w the all too well short film. Bc they’re talking abt the exact same thing!! She has a relationship w a much older man, experiences heartbreak, heals, and then writes abt it in a book—the story of us AKA the manuscript.
And this is why 🎃 kept referencing the story of us. I couldn't make sense of it a few months ago but now in hindsight it all makes perfect sense. Message in a bottle was probably a red tv vault track for this reason too. Bc the message in a bottle is the manuscript. The puzzle pieces really do all fall right into place.
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One thing that I deeply love about HxH as a whole is how seriously it takes the trauma of its characters.
Rather than things that happened in the characters' pasts being relegated to just simple flashbacks, their pasts legitimately feel like they shaped who they are as people in the present of the series, in both obvious and subtle ways.
I love how the significant events of their past and how they grew up are shown continuing to affect them even many years later, and not just in a straightforward "Oh, that's sad," or "This one personality trait/goal and nothing else came from that," kind of way. They make decisions based on what they've been through, the ways they understand the world are different as a result of it, what they prioritize and strive for often comes out of it, even their nen choices are often related to it.
It gives the characters a strong sense of being human, and I think this theme of trauma and how it affects people is something Togashi explores with unusual sensitivity, care, and weight. HxH doesn't lose sight of how much a deep loss or a life of abuse or neglect or abandonment shapes someone, and at the same time the narrative offers so much hope for the way connections with others provide second chances, meaning, and eventually healing.
I could go into examples, but honestly the series is full of them, almost wherever you look. All of the main four especially exemplify this. It's one of the elements that makes HxH so special to me, why it resonates with me so deeply. Plenty of stories explore this kind of theme, and a lot of them do it well, but HxH does it in an especially convincing and beautiful way, in my opinion. Because the way the characters are affected is so genuine and multifaceted, it's easy to empathize with them and find meaning in their struggles.
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Higgs Monaghan, "Beach Babies," and mind control
We know that the Bridge Baby dolls that Higgs and the Homo Demens used function completely differently than the human BBs invented by Bridges. But did you know they're also otherworldly vessels of extinction itself?
The novelization of Death Stranding suggests that these BB dolls from the Beach ("Beach Babies," as my husband and I refer to them) warp the minds of their users and bend human will towards the goal of extinction.
So... how many of Higgs Monaghan's decisions after meeting Amelie are his own?
The first thing to note is that Bridges BBs react negatively to the presence of these Beach Babies, as seen here when Sam encounters terrorists using them.
Lou does not like these things. Perhaps that's why she points the Odradek at Higgs during their first encounter with him?
The novel introduces us to a porter who visited the Evo-Devo Biologist (referred to as EV in the book) while equipped with one, a couple years before Sam's expedition. He was polite and overall pretty normal at first, but then on his next visit things get... weird.
So... there are holes in reality that using a Beach Baby allows you to see, and that's how the tar leaks from the Beach into the world of the living. Speculatively, this might be how Higgs is able to DOOMS-jump so easily and frequently (and summon tar), without getting exhausted or needing much focus at all, in addition to his level 7+ DOOMS.
Oh, but it gets weirder. And scarier, as soon as Extinction Entities are mentioned.
Wow... he sounds a lot like Higgs, doesn't he? Come to find out, Higgs gave it to him.
But surely this is just him echoing the party lines of Higgs' organization and repeating Higgs' same sentiments... right? Unless...
Important to note, this porter doesn't have DOOMS. He shouldn't be experiencing extinction nightmares, but his Beach Baby is showing them to him.
Whether directly or not, this thing talks to him. Like some eldritch call of the void or an element of a Lovecraft novel, it tells him that extinction is the only answer, the only solution.
EV is, understandably, instantly alarmed when she sees Sam with Lou, relating this story back to him. Sam is quick to connect the dots between that porter, the terrorists, Lou's terror at encountering these other BBs, and Higgs himself.
As they discuss further, a chiralgram recording from that porter begins to play, in which he takes credit for the voidout that killed Heartman's family and explains why he did it.
So then, how is Higgs affected by his own Beach Baby? From his perspective, it doesn't sound good.
We can infer a few things from this:
The Beach Baby acts as the vessel for Higgs' connection to Amelie and her Beach. By the nature of his powers, that's why he's able to DOOMS-jump constantly without getting exhausted, control BTs and timefall, and use telekinesis. Think of it like supercharging a battery; his powers are fueled by connection to the dead, and through Amelie, he's plugged into the dead of five mass extinctions, skyrocketing his DOOMS abilities to their maximum potential.
The Beach Baby (perhaps even Amelie directly, by using it) shows Higgs extinction nightmares beyond the scope of normal DOOMS nightmares, "speaking" to him and giving him forbidden knowledge that fills his mind with thoughts of extinction in terms of inevitability, even without Amelie telling him directly.
(Speculative): Higgs betrayed Fragile because of what the Beach Baby did to him, and perhaps doing so was Amelie's own will disguised as his idea. After all, he turned on Fragile immediately after connecting to the BB doll, severing his closest bond practically overnight. Further, Fragile states (at least in the book, I forget if she acknowledges this in the game or not) that it wasn't Higgs who prevented her from DOOMS jumping with the nuke in South Knot City, but "someone else," who she later determined to be Amelie. Amelie ensured that Fragile had no power in that situation, and that there was no way for her to escape without hating Higgs in the end. Personally, my reading is that Amelie wanted to be Higgs' only option and only remaining connection; she set herself up to be all he had left, the only thing he could focus on. It's easier to control someone who's isolated, scared, and alone otherwise, and would remove the risk of him having doubts about accepting extinction because he had nothing--and no one--left to lose.
(Speculative): The Beach Baby acts as a mind control utility. Whatever hopes, dreams, and beliefs a person has, this BB doll can override them and bend its user's will towards the goal of extinction instead, reshaping their ideology to fit the EE's goals. It's impossible to say how much of this control is direct and tangible, but it grants Amelie a high degree of influence over Higgs' inner world, removing any sense of rebellion against her or instinctive resistance to the concept of total human annihilation.
Established later in-text (too much content to cite and embed), Higgs experiences grandiose delusions surrounding his role in the extinction, falsely believing that he's the one in control, viewing himself as "the bridge that brings the extinction" and is destined to safeguard Amelie so mankind can meet its end. Despite the facts, he genuinely thinks it was all his idea, his plan, and he's the mastermind behind the whole thing, personally chosen by cosmic forces to deliver the apocalypse and usher in a new world after humanity is gone.
As soon as Higgs is disconnected from his Beach Baby by Fragile, his delusions completely shatter and he immediately reverts to cold, hard logic, albeit the kind steeped in self-hatred. His ego does an immediate 180 and he realizes, "it was all make believe,” and "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and righteous fury. Signifying nothing." It hits him all at once: he was nothing but a pawn, a tool, a means to an end, played for a fool. Upon seeing the error of his ways, he can only lament how blind he was. The book decidedly doesn't kill him, instead leaving him on the Beach, "alone, without a person in the world to connect to," thinking, "this is how I'm meant to be," as he remains stranded "with nothing else to do but continue to confess his endless sins."
We'll never know how much of Higgs' mindset and atrocities were truly his own, while acting as Amelie's herald, and how much of it was solely based on Amelie's unseen influence. Just like Lady Macbeth, Higgs is both villain and victim to a greater evil, so to speak.
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If I were greedy…
I spend a disproportionate amount of time appreciating the addition of these four simple words to the "I really wanted to develop these myself…" line in the manga side scene with how much insight they provide the audience into Ray's mindset during this arc.
Greedy people don't pull off successful escapes. Greedy people risk getting their friends killed. Greedy people end up losing everything.
(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 4)
It's a layered message to Isabella as well.
You've known what I've wanted for a long time now. None of those three things have changed. You don't have to worry about me betraying you.
The way he looks at her when he says it, too; tries to make himself both nonthreatening to not invoke her ire or suspicion, yet aware enough to convey he can still competently complete his side of their agreement (along with a bit of pettiness, wanting to believe he has more control of the situation and not wanting to let it seem like she can pull a fast one on him. Knowing what's to come in less than 48 hours is heartbreaking), all while having the most subtle sad and tired tinge to his eyes and subdued grin to mask it.
(Because what if things were different for the two of them. For all of them.)
He already believes he's asking for so much, and yet…
(Chapter 181.1 | Chapter 93)
They're worth it.
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List of Shen Qiao’s incredible violence that lives in my head
(spoilers throughout the entire Qian Qiu/Thousand Autumns novel)
I've seen people complain that Shen Qiao should go apeshit or that he's too soft and forgiving, so I've compiled an (incomplete) list of the times Shen Qiao canonically goes apeshit/shows absolutely no forgiveness.
Beating up a gang of thugs while blind and threatening to poke their eyes out so they become just like him.
Castrating a serial r*pist.
Stabbing a man through the heart with a branch.
Taking a group of people hostage and forcing them (with threats of grievous bodily harm) to eat all the food they dumped on the ground because hello, people are starving to death literally one city wall away, assholes.
Pushing an opponent he just killed to the ground because he decided the guy doesn’t deserve a dignified death.
Threatening to cut people into smithereens and demonstrating how he would do it.
Straight up killing two would-be child-murderers in the span of 10 seconds.
Condemning a man to a fate worse than death as punishment (twice).
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