#that’s just what the assessment was supposed to be for

[wormdebut]

LET DOWN AND HANGING AROUND (CRUSHED LIKE A BUG IN THE GROUND)

Ahoy! This is my first VERY LATE ficlet for @corrodedcoffinfest ! My absolute bad for being so late, but BOY am I HAPPY TO BE HERE!

Warm Up Prompt One: Taxed. Word Count: 1000 (scrivener says 1000 Wordcounter says 979. IDK Man, it’s within limit), Rating: T, Pairing: None, CW: Swears, Smoking, Angst Tags: Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, Freak

----

October 1987

They've been at this for fucking years. Eddie feels like a fucking girl scout.

'Well hello there Mr. Music Man, would you like to buy a box of shitty garage band metal?'

Except they weren't fucking shitty. All of the guys had been working their assess off, writing, playing shows, shitty gig after shitty gig after shitty gig.

But they haven't managed anything. Nothing, zilch, nada.

They had a small crowd showing up at the Hideout, and the owner, Benny, started letting them play not only their usual Tuesday but because Eddie had been helping him with placehe was letting them play Saturday nights now too, which was great because while he appreciates the likes of his uncle and Wayne's best friends on Tuesdays, there were almost twenty people every Saturday night and that was something.

They also had a standing gig at a bar in Indianapolis at least once a month, lately they've been playing The Barrel every other week and Eddie thought--he thought--that that would get them somewhere.

The guys were fucking exhausted but Eddie kept pushing because they could do this. Corroded Coffin was great. They were great and somebody was going to see that…right?

Eddie saw what they had. He did. But the guys--

"C'mon Ed, we can't keep sneaking Gareth into bars forever. I think we need to--maybe consider other options or--" Jeff rambles. They were supposed to be practicing but Jeff Williams had to swoop inwith his stupid common sense bullshit. Jeff motherfucking Williams is one of the best guitarists Eddie has ever had to the privilege of listening to, but Jeff wants to go college like a real boy!

Gareth cuts him off, "It's just the two bars man, and I have a fake, if I need it anyw--"

Would you look at that, it's time for Freddy to cut in. "Yeah, but you're three feet tall and have the face of a newborn child."

Gareth shoves at Freddy's chest. "Oh fuck off, man. At least I'm not a virgin!" He yelps and great. This is great.

Now the band is fighting, again, because Jeff wants to go to College, Goodie is a Virgin, and Gareth is short.

Eddie just want to play music.

If they all want to yell, Eddie can yell louder. "See. Do you see what happens when you start talking about 'other options' Jeff? Chaos--and not the fun kind!"

"See, Eddie--this is the fucking problem with you. All you care about is your music, your dream, It's all about you!"

Jeff is yelling at Eddie, Gareth and Freak are rough housing, how did this even happen. All Eddie wants is to do something. Be something. He believes in this, in Jeff, and Freddy and Gareth, in the band.

And he gets that everyone is taxed, tired. Eddie is fucking exhausted. Gareth is trying to not fail his senior year. He gets it, he does, but-- "You know what, Jeff?" His voice breaks, and isn't that fucking humiliating? "Some of us, don't have college as an option. Did you ever consider that?"

Eddie leans over and grabs his cigarettes from the table, before shoulder checking Jeff as he leaves.

——

What’s the fucking point? Eddie puts everything into lyrics that people probably don't even know, all of them spend hours writing and harmonizing, making sure chords make sense, just for everything to be a pipe dream. They haven't taken a break for anything. It's either work or school or Coffin Shit. They haven't played D&D in months. They've just been doing this.

But it's all Eddie has. How the hell was he ever going to get out of shitty ass Hawkins, if it wasn't this way? He didn't exactly ace his finals--even the third time around. Honestly? He's pretty sure they just let him pass, to get him the fuck out of there.

He lights up what feels like his eighth cigarette--it's not, it's his second--and stares out to the empty street. They use Gareth's garage to practice…for being as straight laced as she is, Ms. Emerson sure does believe in the band.

Dottie Emerson and Eddie. God dammit, maybe Jeff is right.

He should go back, he should go back and apologize, and let this go. He has the job at the Hideout, he can save and maybe move to Indy--play an acoustic at some bars or…something.

God, he's just so tired of this shit.

He finishes his cigarette, and tries to breathe. Breathe in--hold--breathe out--he doesn't realizes Jeff until he taps his shoulder.

"Hey." Jeff says, quiet. Eddie, just nods, grabs his pack and offers a cancer-filled olive branch. Jeff takes it.

Eddie doesn't say anything. Doesn't want to, doesn't know what he should say.

So Jeff does. "I'm sorry, Ed. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm just fucking tired man, we all are and I do want this, I do, but it's fucking scary." Eddie turns, watches Jeff blow out smoke. "I got accepted to IU, did you know that?"

Eddie blinks. He did not know that. "No, you hadn't mentioned it."

Jeff turns to look at him, "I didn't want this to happen."

Eddie closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath. In--hold--out. "You should go." He forces a smile, watches as Jeff's eyes shine for a moment--no wonder he had that silly crush on him his second senior year, but it was only for like a week, leave it alone--before he srunches his face up, Eddie can't help but laugh. Jeff always does that, when he's stressed. It makes him look like a rabbit.

Jeff goes to speak, but Eddie cuts him off. "Let's do this Halloween show, it'll be our going away gift to our tens of adoring fans."

Jeff laughs at that, nods, and pulls Eddie into a hug.

Everything will be fine, with or without Corroded Coffin.

#worm brain #everyone buckle up cause I'm determined to knock all of these out #they will follow a story line BUT also stand alone #so note that even though eddie thinks this is the end thats a big fat lie #Steve is out there somewhere #and so will Corroded Coffin being famous as fuck #I promise #eddie munson #stranger thing #stranger things ficlet #pre steddie #cause BOY WILL THEY BE HERE #Corroded Coffin #All the boys. They are all here and they be fighting #corrrodedcoffinfest #worm coffin verse

[gertritude]

revisiting some scenes in homestuck and the penis ouija conversation still stands out as being one of the funniest conversations in the entire comic

#i tried reading part of hs2 earlier and i couldnt do it #what do you mean theres serious relationship drama. where are the shipping grids #my other assessment from revisiting part of hivebent the other day is i forgot just how mean-spirited a lot of it felt like got damn #though i suppose that can describe quite a bit of homestuck

[radio-sepia]

if you read this you're doing great and i'm proud of you

#this includes me #txt #have to redo experiments for my science assessment. also gonna beg the teacher to explain to me step by step what to write #'this is supposed to be a fully independed work i can't tell you what to do you have to figure it out yourself' #ha. hahahahahah. no. tell me step-by-step because most teachers bend the rules a little bit and also i probably know all that stuff #my anxiety just doesn't let me put up anything coherent to start #praying that guy will be in a good mood tomorrow...

[narwhalandchill]

ANYWAY now that ive gotten my firefly rant off my chest and on a more positive note about the story overall; i Really liked it!!!! and character-wise specifically the biggest surprise for me in a huge W way was actually acheron??

& given i was actually somewhat committed to pulling her anyway (well. initially as kafka replacement to pull my first lightning carry after losing 50-50 but. Well. she had mercy on me at the v last moment thank goodness 😭😭) so actually ending up liking her character this much just cemented that resolve for good too. cant wait for her!!! like i am still meh on her base design not bc its that bad by itself but simply bc seeles existence just cheapens it so much like. Why are they so similar. but its not bad lmao

anyway to her actual characterization. first of all. the VAs delivery omg yall beidous english voice is already one of my all time favorites in genshin and shes doing an amazing job as acheron like. she started talking and im just INSTANTLY warmed up to her just from that KDJSKDKJK i love love love her attitude and energy!!!!!

n personality wise too??? like ive seen others mention a similar sentiment but its just the way how. even after getting the warnings from now Two separate characters that shes up to no good. im just like. "nah id win" abt it SHSKDKSI like throughout the story she comes off as so damn likeable and grounded and realistically friendly (as in not like. too open n aligned w the player from the get-go to feel believable for the character as opposed to a plot contrivance) that i just. even if shes bad news im team acheron truly.

she has genuinely funny one liners too ??? like not necessarily jokes outright but the kinda comments she says are just . very realistic in that dry witty way that comes off as natural and entertaining shes so charming!!! i love her. the more contemplative stuff she says too

but also like. girl whats up w the ominous red text ily but are we cool 😭😭 and the whole shredding us into thin slices on first encounter in the dreamscape like. Ok uhhhhhhhh ik i said nah id win and team acheron forever but this is kinda. worrisome

BUT that just means im so fucking excited to see her go apeshit too lmao like. oh shes an emanator here to do murder and spread death? COOL i hope she has fun!!

(and ik i said firefly rant over but. what the actual hell is that post firefly merk dialogue option where the games like very heavy handedly implying ur supposed to be blaming ACHERON for "letting it happen" in some emotional frenzy???? bro what 💀💀 0/5 moment i would never. n even if she plausibly did im just. dude her being cold towards firefly is just a plus for me when the narrative has just railroaded the TB into being sooo charmed by her magical presence lmao i Liked that acheron was suspicious n cold)

overall Definitely wasnt expecting acheron to establish herself as such an instant favorite for sure but. shes here now and im v happy abt it im super looking forward to seeing those more dubious goals of her come to the forefront in the future like. im so curious about whats up w her and her memory and that red text and everything

#also honestly unintentionally hilarious moment from acheron when she jist. asks for directions to the lobby too 😭😭😭😭 #anyway. overall i wonder if theure like. making a point of setting up the 'suspicious' characters to turn out far more benign #than appears at first glance #and have the more like. omg friendly people. turn out more involved in the shady stuff #like to a degree it already happened with aventurine. whole time everyones playing up how shady he is but #ultimately he really didnt do that much in terms of actually harming us? he was surprisingly straight (lol. lmao) w us throughout #like Obviously hes acting in full self interest but i do overall v much agree w black swans assessment of him too #that as a businessman it does matter how he handles his deals. now obviously he could turn out a whole lot different in the future #but nonetheless. point being he wasnt all that nefarious compared to how he was presented as #whereas both acheron and (sigh) firefly do kinda have that initial friendliness and then later on turn out to be #Not what they seem . which isnt like a twist or anything its just interesting #tho i suppose its less whos more or less trustworthy at first glance and more just. everyone lies on penacony #just depends on what their aims are to truly know whether they stand in opposition w us ultimately #acherons strange bc like of the cast rn. truly would trust her the most just based on vibes . which might not be smart 💀💀 #logically the most quote unquote trustworthy are swan n aventurine methinks . swan bc she said she wants more of my memories for her stash #so she wants us alive on both a personal basis and as a memokeeper #n aventurine bc he sees us as his own investment in whatever gamble hes undertaking #so cold as it is. we are very valuable to those 2 as assets so like they might hide things n mislead but they dont want us dead lol #anyway v much looking forward to the future developments #hsr #rambles #hsr spoilers

[vigilantejustice]

:(

#literally dumb as rocks beans for brains of me to even ever think going back to do my diploma in early #childhood education as a means to get back into the industry after like four years out was even a little bit a good idea #the job broke me the first time + i’m in a much much much worse place now #have been looking through the first chunk of assessments + so much of it is management type stuff #which is fine on paper #but doing these sorts of assessments in practice is. not something i can do #i have a settling in period of like three years minimum it takes me so long to build any confidence #+ almost every assessment involves walking into service as a student + then having to demonstrate a level of authority #which is no bueno for me #like the first assessment involves leading a team meeting #how am i supposed to walk into a centre brand new + ask to lead a meeting #and then every piece of placement assessment is the same sort of thing #lots of having to approach parents to sign permission forms + lots of taking control of rooms or learning experiences #it’s funny because technically it’s all stuff i can do because i did do it #like i ran the nursery as a lead educator + did all the management stuff but that was after having been there for a year as a student #then as an assistant so i was like. comfortable + established in the centre if that makes sense? #i couldn’t just walk into any centre off the street into a management position i need to work my way into it #if that’s what i even wanted to do #so to do it as a student is a no go #on top of that just the idea of going back to any work let alone back to childcare has given me nightsweats #since the diploma started. like my anxiety about it is out of control + realistically logically i know that this is not something that’s #going to work out but i’m ready to throw up about it because what do i do? #i’m struggling big time with feelings of inadequacy for not being educated + can’t shake the feeling that my life is kind of over #because i haven’t got a degree + it doesn’t seem like i’m going to be in a position to be well enough to get through one #+ i don’t know what work i’m cut out for i don’t feel like i’m good for anything #which sounds dramatic but i mean it in a very genuine way i’m just too nervous + scared + uncomfortable #i’m just not functioning in any sensible way + i don’t know what to do with myself #like dropping this course just makes sense but what then? what job is there for me? #it all just starts spiralling out into thinking about that i’ll probably never be able to afford to live independently out of home #+ that spirals into thinking about how i’ll never find anyone + how my life is so messy + meaningless

[aeolids-zenith]

i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

#space chirrup #idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me #i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted #possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful #(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't) #i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that #but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests #i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy. #but i don't want that with someone i don't know already. #but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general #does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am #bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a #plan i could just do it without medication #but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg #ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night #people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral #like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for #and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it. #though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll

[nexus-nebulae]

stupid fucking broken body

#low health #i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory #i can't do a single thing without hurting #not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight #i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this #i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen #and the text was fucking TINY too aha #there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration #so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is #everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity #or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing #to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen #and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess #they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right #and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves #i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?* #ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO. #i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP #and it has been OVER SIX YEARS #and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer #and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC. #i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point #i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX #and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO #i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die #and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health #so we can barely even help each other even if we want to

[paralien]

... tfw you apply to a job as a 50-60% employee because you've got reduced health because of a intensive surgery you never truly healed from because of a birth defect that never got dealt with as a child so you had to deal with it as an adult and surprisingly the place you applied to says yes and gives you the job despite your history of health issues but surprise, boss has signed you up as a 100% employee and then goes on 2 weeks of vacation before you can sort out your work schedule and remind them that hey you only applied to a 60% position 😳

#just lmk how much u can work according to the welfare system and we'll try to stay within that #listen sure for anyone else that'd be gr8 dont get me wrong but. i work overtime every single day #and i have no rest days bc during the weekends i need to catch up on family related stuff #and im only supposed to work 60% bc if i work 100% the welfare system/office will drop me #and im in the middle of the process of getting assessed to see if i qualify for permanent disability benefits #bc i have a leg thatll never get 100% better and im gonna have to deal w it my entire life and 🙃 i can work but if i eork 100% #itll only take me so and so long before i crash abd end up bed bound #becsuse i get inflamation in my entire body 💕 and i need rest days to actually minimise the chabce of that happening 💕 #so i can be a reliable and dependable employee #boss even SAID #AND THEN SHE PREPARES TO GO ON VACAYION AND SHE HASNT EVEN ORDERED MY WORK UNIFORM YET #MAAAAAAA'AAAAAAM #also idk when i even get PAID ... #all i know is what i make per hour before taxes #fanya.txt #fanya yells abt work

[freakus420]

what does it mean if getting closer to the things ive been working towards feels much scarier than it does secure? what if i trap myself in a real life only to find out im not equipped to live it?

#im supposed to get an adhd assessment in august #what if the meds dont help? what if nothing can help? #sometimes i think i might just be too tired for all of this #im planning my life for someone who is capable of feeling fulfilled #idk if i can ever be that person

[a-sleepy-ginger]

13/3/24

✿❈✿❈✿

Learned about interesting topic in psychology

Doodled a bit

Saw alot of magpies

#happiness diary #happiness diary: march 2024 #its been a while since ive drawn so everything looked baf #but i happy i drew cus i want to get back into it #maybe not the best time cus im getting assessments and stuff #but i want to so its fine #oh i almost fell asleep on the trian home #was so sleepy all day #amd sat on the train and was drifting off and waking with every stop #then it felt like i was falling asleep for real but i felt like a tug at my hood so i woke up loke huhh? #i was at the back of the train so noone was behind me so it must have moved cus i did? #never felt my hood move like that though #well no matter what caused it im happy cus i managed to get home and didn't end up at the end of the line #that would be embarrassing #just like sorry i fell asleep im not supposed to be here #anyway still sleepy so gonna sleep #night

[unproduciblesmackdown]

why is reassurance about omnipresent omnipotent Love needed like. it's love(tm) has there not Been that assurance & affirmation all over the place all thee time. "but all the hate in the world...see what it does..." does that even mean "hate" or does that mean "people feeling entitled to a superior status ft. its intrinsically promised superior power" like re: the limitations of "hate crimes" meaning there's a need to "prove" "hate" in the "intent." where do we see Love as this guaranteed antithesis to a systemically granted entitlement to power to constrain someone's life. parents loving their children, And Yet. partners loving their partners And Yet. friends loving friends never stopped there from being disasters in how people are treated in that sphere. versus: people giving the most essential support to people they have no personal connection to, no direct connection to, no basis for having particular feelings about them one way or another beyond knowing they're also people in a vulnerable situation. people flourishing by themself. people learning how to relate to themself positively In Spite Of the Love they've experienced. how actions, interactions, relations are guided by principles that are not contingent on the affective, re: Feelings, but on externally evident contexts and patterns and consequences. what of it if you're Hated by someone whose ability to manifest that or not has no control over you still living your life b/c nobody's entitled to someone feeling a certain way towards them but someone feeling a certain way towards someone doesn't entitle them to enforcing a status of Less on them in any way either. why's something Internal have to be considered universal. why's anything have to be considered universal, as though if there's anything that doesn't apply to absolutely anyone then those outside that might be Less in some "legitimate" way. there's that: you're a person and they're a person, and who are you to consider yourself More of a person than them, and who are they to consider themself More of a person than you. "this too is Love" what if it isn't

is any idea of Love challenged by potentially Not subsuming more precise, nuanced, granular, complex, perhaps incongruous concepts into one vague assertion. what of recognition. acknowledgment. respect, care, intimacy, collaboration, accompaniment, without fundamentally necessitating particular emotions, status, even particulars of relationships. "relationships" in the sense of how does xyz affect abc & vice versa: relationality. "if you want or enjoy anything: love" how about everyone's experience of their interiority is their own. why is it important for you to believe a particular commonality must be at play. "if you don't believe in eternal torment of your damned soul what's stopping you from killing everyone rn" = "if you don't believe in Doing Bad Things Feels Bad what's stopping you from Doing Bad Things rn" = "if you're guided by the Good Feeling Love you'll be Doing Good Things" like, will you. when people instead attach any concept of Love to more fundamental concepts of respect for everyone else as equals to oneself and what actions and principles support others then it's like i mean yeah sure same diff in this case. when it's about how something that originates as a personal interior experience is a claim over any/everyone else's? whyme (rhymes with "rhyme"). versus anything that may be considered Universal being something that also does not necessarily stem from or is not contained within any particular self. universe is universal? everything affecting the existence of everything else? doesn't start or stop in any particular person's experience as themself, the way their thoughts and feelings can. i can't think of any of the like Concepts Ideals Principles Beliefs etc i would have that i'd describe as "love." and what of it. works fine for anyone who does so long as that Love is not something that must be Universally Human(tm) or where any willingness to consider some idea synonymous / overlapping / relevant does not just so happen to require "so you still really mean Love :)" like as though a christian universalist was still gonna have to always be telling people how jesus is everywhere & all good things are jesus, vice versa. like if you think everyone will be reconciled with christian god in the end then why do you need to push it. if everything is Love & Love is behind anything that helps anyone then what is there to convince oneself or anyone else of. what is there even to talk about. versus if i were to find/replace "love" with "politics" in that sentence & then in any instance there would be plenty to talk about lmao b/c it would have to do with any specifics about the situation & any events/actions/external matters that could be relevant. the actual Reality of your Real Feelings start & end with you even as they also play into how your existence affects others' existence. gotta believe everyone else is feeling Love? okay, that would still be their own business lol. & what if they weren't. say love is everywhere & that's the answer: well no it isn't b/c we can discern what goes on in the everywherelove world. so anyways: what could we do regardless? feeling more love is self-contained i.e. your personal business. what of any/everyone else. die cry hate. love loses. recognition regardless of the emotions happening. being loveless. being despised. those who go "so anyways"

#is someone or something only of value if sufficiently loved by someone #rephrased does someone's equal value guarantee some kind of deemed equal manifestation of love compared to someone else #why? who's going to assess lovingness / belovedness there? what ''should'' be guaranteed to anyone? #supposing we all imagine a Best Person. are they e.g. Guaranteed maximum friends? are they Guaranteed any friends? (my answer: no) #not ''is it possible'' not ''is it like'' Are They Guaranteed This #do we assume we can or must Prove anyone else is not less than us. do we add anything at all onto the assumption they aren't less #such as ''i don't think anyone's Less a person than myself (why not stop here) b/c i think anyone Has Love'' #why not stop there. you tell me i Won't go to hell for killing everyone? i'm not gonna do it #you tell me i won't feel bad for doing so? i'm still not gonna do it #you tell me i'm the Realest Person in a simulation of non persons? i'm not gonna change how i interact w/anyone at all why tf would i #''maybe nobody sees the same colors as you. maybe nobody feels the same feelings as you'' Okay What Difference Does It Make #doesn't change if some memo was dropped like yes Only You truly think & feel. everything else is simulations w/no interiority. Ok; &? So? #dehumanizing Assertions go for the supposed Less interiority like shove that interiorly as well. less pain less Love less capacity for xyz #oh you experience Externalized expression of these people Not being Less? can't prove they're not Faking huh? what if we say they are #Doesn't Matter. veering into ''no; they must Feel the Most'' to counter it like doesn't matter!! what's Happening. what's Being Done #who is being constrained; harmed; made more vulnerable. who has fewer Real autonomous choices to make #e.g. no ''you can choose x. or choose y with threatened increased risk / harm'' #if someone's All About Feeling Love well okay possibly great but Lovelessness is good for you like queerness is good for cishet ppl #similar too the way to have a ''difference'' that contextualizes queerness there has to be the constraint of cisheteropatriarchy #like how ppl rankle at being called cis / cishet b/c they're ''just Normal'' like we aren't supposed to be able to name & address things #a related element is that Love(tm) tends to be very flattening. very [is there really even anything else to discuss/consider??] #yeah. isn't there always? why not in this case. #like also everything else this is dynamic. honing thoughts & ideas always; including by writing things out #you know what's everywhere & in all of us including our positive moods / feelings...fluctuating energies in fields #talk to me about That excitement (charges & feelings Positive Or Negative lol...) let's talk about Imbalance handshake Balance #consider having: love handshake loveless then. again do Not subsume! step one!! not ''ok so its all just love'' cut it out for once!!! #rotate it. put it in the centrifuge. the gravitational center. nucleus. radiation. if you're aware of it smthing affected it affected you #up next brawling with the ''math is inhuman dehumanizing math is antiqueer'' w/e tf else. die cry hate Humanities(tm) (sentiment) Loses #ps was thinking lately of the way ppl's Emotional motivations manifest then connect / have an effect. still all about the loveless agenda

[buckyalpine]

40s Sergeant Barnes with a nurse and a Sergeant kink (and breeding and house wife kink, virginity loss). This was supposed to be a pure smutty drabble but then I got in my feelings and added some fluff and angst but I promise Bucky is still a dirty, nasty little fuck in this. Just with a sweeter ending. The one he deserves.

Listen just imagine what a cute, sexy menace Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes would be just waking up from an injury when his eyes flutter open to the pretty nurse he’s been eyeing from the day he started. You’re not a shy, dainty little thing, nope. Not at all.

You bark out orders like a drill Sergeant and one glare from you is all it takes to get everyone in line and on task without a second thought. Even his superiors are scared of you, biting their tongue when you stitch them up and send them on their way before running off to your next patient.

Bucky was in love.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes” he rasps, throwing you a charming smirk while you roll your eyes in response, shaking your head. "How'd I get so lucky, got a my little angel tendin' to me"

“I see your injury hasn’t stopped hurt that mouth of yours Sergeant" You quirk an eyebrow while he playfully huffs as you change the dressing covering a gash on his abdomen. You swab the area clean and he doesn't flinch even though you know it must burn like hell, his muscles tensed while he continues to watch you with heart eyes. "Now you know I'm not your little angel, I got 20 other men to fix up, you better be out of this bed as soon as you're all healed up"

“C’mon sugar, you're breakin' my heart" Bucky gives you a little pout with those perfect lips and you catch the twinkle in his eye as he looks over your form with complete admiration. He loved your sassy, take no shit attitude and it's taking everything in him to calm himself down so he doesn't get a hard on right there in front of you.

"You'd tell that to a cat with three legs if it was in a nurses outfit" You try your best to not give into his flirty comments and puppy eyes, knowing damn well he's a heart breaker but he makes it so difficult when he continues to woo you with his boyish charm.

He can't help but chase after you; catching the way your eyes always dart around with anxiety when his group returns from an operation, relief flooding them when you finally spot him. He loves your indifferent attitude, patting him down to make sure he's uninjured but your furrowed brows and the tiny pout on your lips give away that you're worried.

How can he just let you go. Every time you check over him, he needs you closer.

So much closer.

-

"Ms. y/l/n, Sergeant Barnes is requesting you in his tent, he says it's urgent"

You shake your head looking over at the time, quietly making your way over to the tent he's stationed at, thankful that a number of troops were sleeping so you wouldn't be seen as you quickly slip inside.

“And what hurts now” you sass with your hands on your hips seeing the soldier in perfect health, doing your best to assess him without letting him know.

"Always checkin' over me" Bucky chuckles, seeing what you're doing; his words making your cheeks heat up, "Knew you cared about me sugar"

"Well what am I doin' here" You give him an unconvincing huff, struggling to keep your voice steady, refusing to meet his eyes, keeping your gaze on his silver dog tags instead. It doesn't help that he's handsome as hell with a light dusting of scruff covering his cheeks. Bucky's never seen you flustered before and it evokes something in him, all the blood in his body rushing south seeing your fingers twitch.

All he wanted to do was kiss you but now-

“Help your Sergeant out doll” He whispers, taking another step forward till his chest brushes against yours, his hand coming to tilt your chin up, "Will you?"

You gasp feeling his hardness press against your thigh, your heart fluttering wildly as his thumb traces your lips, any semblance of control you had slipping away feeling the warmth of his skin.

“Y-yes Sergeant Barnes”

His lips press against yours, soft and sweet, a stark contrast to the way his body was screaming for him to pick you up and toss you onto his cot.

"Sweet like sugar" He lets his hands fall to your waist, pulling you flush against his body while your arms drape on top of his shoulders. You stand on your toes chasing more of his lips and he chuckles at the needy whine you let out when he pulls away for air.

Now let's say your first night together was actually quite tame. He kisses you again and you swoon when he repeatedly checks in with you before going any further. His hand slips under your skirt, letting his fingers toy with places no on else has touched. With each night, he needs you more and more until he can't hold off any longer and neither can you.

-

You sneak into his tent and this time he doesn't hesitate to undress you completely, not when he needs you bare with nothing separating you both. You feel your heart race as he lies on top of you, draping a thin sheet over himself when you shiver at the chill night air. You feel his body heat instantly warm you up, his heavy cock resting between your soaked folds.

"Are you sure, sugar?" He asks, his hand cupping your cheek and stroking your skin.

"Please Sergeant" You whisper and the way you say his title makes his cock twitch. There's something so different about you when you're in his bed, a sweet little bunny giving herself to him completely. It drives him feral with a need to make you feel good, make you cry for his cock and his cock only, to keep you nice and full of him.

You don't look twice at anyone else and here you are completely naked in his tent with your tight little virgin cunt, your legs spread open so he can put his dick in you; there was no way he was ever going to let you go.

"You tell me if it's too much, alright?" His lips tickle your neck as kisses your skin while rubbing his heavy cock through your folds, coating it in your slick, "Breathe for me"

He slips his tags into your mouth as he starts to press in, the initial sting making you bite down hard onto the metal feeling a mix of pleasure and pain. You whine at the way he stretches you open, your thighs squeezing around his waist, nails digging into his shoulders.

"Shhh, that's it love, doin' so good for me so good for your Sergeant, look how you're takin' all of me baby" He looks down to where you're both connected as he continues to slowly push himself in till hes fully sheathed inside you. He gives you time to adjust, slipping his tags out of your lips and letting his tongue lace with yours instead, his balls already throbbing with how tightly you were squeezing his cock.

"Please-Sergeant" your heels press into his ass desperate for him to move, gasping when he starts to slowly roll his hips, barely pulling out.

"I got you love-don't worry" Bucky moves as slowly as he could not wanting to hurt you, taking just as much care of you as you had with him countless of times.

But he can only keep up at that pace for so long. Your muffled whines and moans don't help the way his mind is already spiraling. His pretty little nurse all spread out just for him, taking his raw, bare cock in her soaking pussy, squeezing him so tight, he was only a few strokes from cumming.

If it were up to him he would've proposed on the spot, thinking about making love to you on your wedding night, seeing you all shy and sweet wrapped up in soft white lace. If you were his wife, he'd take you apart every which way, not giving a fuck about traditions, taking you right on the dining room table.

You'd be the prettiest little thing for him to come home to, such a good wife all dirty just for her husband. Only he'd know the way your mouth would slobber all over his cock like your life depended on it. The way you'd moan at the taste of his cum. Bucky's eyes rolled back at the thought of you with nothing but some heels and a string of pearls he'd put around your neck while he stuffed you with cum and emptied his balls in you.

"S-Sergeant-I-oh god" You whimpered feeling his cock grow harder, your pussy pulling him right back in, feeling the coil low in your belly pull tighter and tighter as he hit that spot.

Meanwhile Bucky's jaw clenched as he felt his balls pull tight to his body, the tip leaking steadily in your pussy. His mind spiraled into places he didn't think would exist before he met you, rogue thoughts he only entertained when he had his dick in his hand. The harder he fucked you the more he thought about how gorgeous you'd look with a swollen belly.

Fuck, imagine if he got you pregnant right then and there. That nurses uniform would no longer fit you. Everyone would know he knocked you up, your perfectly round tummy carrying Sergeant James Barnes' baby, breasts heavy with milk, God, he wasn't going to last-

“Gonna let your Sergeant pump you full of cum?” He pants, letting his hands grip onto your hips like his life depends on it, the wiry hair at the base of his cock rubbing against your clit.

“Yes!!” You sob, biting down onto his shoulder to keep your cries down while he continues to fuck you into oblivion. You don't understand how such filth can spew from that pink, pouty little mouth of his. "Please-please-need-youI-I'm gonna-"

"M'yours sweet girl, m'all yours, go on, cum for me love, cum on my cock, it's all yours" He gazed into your eyes, cooing at your parted lips and sweat slicked skin. It didn't take long for you to shatter around him his lips smashing against yours to swallow your moans.

"Want your cum Sergeant" You beg , desperate to have him claim you from the inside.

"Oh fuck baby, y-you can't say that, m-gonna, oh fuckkk" Your words throw Bucky right off the edge as he lets out a deep groan stilling his hips and shooting endless ropes of his spend into you. You both lay in comfortable silence, your fingers playing with his hair; his usual kempt brown locks now disheveled .

“Y’know m’gonna marry you” his scruffy cheek nuzzles into your neck as he continues to stay deep inside you as his cock softens, “after all this is over. Gonna put a ring on that finger”

His words send a different wave of emotions over you, feeling more safe than ever, clinging onto him as tightly as possible. You let a whimper slip out and he pulls away from your neck with an expression of concern.

“What is it love” Bucky coos, wiping away the tears that slip you, stroking your cheek while you bite back a sniffle.

“Do you mean it? After this is all over?” You weren't sure what Bucky would want-there was still a war going on. Anything could happen. Perhaps this was just to keep his bed warm. Something to keep him calm, you were just someone to-

"Of course sugar" Bucky presses a firm kiss to your forehead, silencing the thoughts that tried to run wild. "You're mine"

-

And of course he gets his happy ending. Because when it's all over, he gets the ring for the girl he loves. He's on one knee, proposing to you with the sweetest words. He treats you like a princess on your wedding night, making love all night long until the sun is up.

There isn't a surface in the house he's left untouched. Nothing makes him more feral than moaning for his pretty wife, constantly taking her hand and wrapping it around his cock, watching that diamond glint with each stroke.

It doesn't take long for you to feel a little squeamish, knowing all the tell tale signs.

The day you tell him he's going to be a dad is one of the happiest days of his life. There isn't a single night that goes by where he isn't nuzzling his face into your tummy, talking to your little one.

Everything was perfecttt.

#40s bucky barnes #40s bucky #40's bucky #40s bucky barnes x reader #bucky banes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x nurse reader #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fan fic #bucky fan fiction #bucky fanart #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x smut

[medicinemane]

Well, got that section finished up... still not sure I made the right call with the kind of lumpy deposits look, but the ravine was tall and narrow and it's hard to add depth both to long stretches and in confined areas so...

But we'll see, like I said I've kind of lost the ability to evaluate anything I do, it just is what it is

So long as it's better than default gen I guess that's good enough

#though... you know... you want stuff you make to actually be good if you spend time on it #but I suppose in the end that doesn't really matter; making it is probably more important #but I'm not making some kind of bizarre joke or something when I say this stuff #I just actually have lost the ability to tell the quality of anything I make or do or assess anything about me #couldn't tell you how I look for instance; like I could describe myself; but can't tell you if it looks remotely good or ugly or what #can't tell if any of the stuff I've gotten done like getting rid of the trailer really amounts to anything other than getting rid of a task #just incapable of seeing anything about me at this point; can't think of a better way to put it really than basically being blind with it #like I have the vague concept of like... the shape of myself or the shape of what I've done #but I seriously straight up can't tell you if what's in that picture looks good or not #I just kind of oscillate between it probably being pretty bad to it probably being alright #but I literally don't know or really have a way to assess it

[falling-endlessly]

The Finer Things in Death

Alastor x Soulmate!Female!Reader

Summary: An AU where your soulmate's first words to you are tattooed on your body in their handwriting.

Oh dear, where's your smile?

You knew those words by heart. Could recite them backwards, in your sleep even. Those damning words have been inscribed on the inside of your ankle for as long as you could remember, the elegant cursive strokes poking out of your shoe line.

In theory, somewhere, someone else was supposed to be sporting your own neat, boxy handwriting. You'd say you lucked out with yours. Some soul marks were less than pleasant, and others were downright embarrassing (imagine having the words move, asshole written on your stomach for the rest of your life. No thank you).

At least your soulmate was trying to cheer you up, right?

Yeah, but there was just one teeny, tiny problem.

Your soulmate was dead. Long dead actually.

Were they stillborn? Did their toddler self die in a house fire or something? Night after night you laid awake in your bed, pondering what the hell could have possibly happened to have altered the entire course of fate.

All you really knew was that your soul mark was a light gray (indicating a severed bond) instead of the usual inky black, and it had been since the day you were born. Everyone was in shock to see the faint words on your little ankle. After all, how could a soul mark exist if the other person wasn't even alive to speak those words into existence?

Simply put, you were a conundrum, and it had been some time since you had dedicated effort into figuring out why? You'd accepted it. Your soulmate was dead. Life went on.

Besides, you'd spent enough time grieving over someone you'd never met before.

Your lifestyle was not extravagant by any means, but it was comfortable. You had a steady income, lived on your own in an apartment in the city, and survived off of more than ramen bowls. Every day you would come home and read in your little fluffy alcove that you'd built yourself by your window, or pop open a bag of chips (and the occasional bottle of wine, if you were feeling fancy) while you watched the latest crime show releases from your couch.

Yes, so comfortable was your little routine, that you didn't notice the robbery happening in the convenience store you were browsing in, or the stray bullet coming for your head until it was too late. Your skull exploded in a world of pain, eyes rolling back as your body crumpled to the ground.

Dying was an interesting experience, to say the least. Your soul floated from your body, the final notes of music that blasted from your earphones fading into nothingness like the sound of a car driving away.

There was a brief moment where you were struck numb, hovering in the air as you stared down at your glassy eyed corpse, blood pooling alarmingly from the circular shaped hole in your head. You heard screams of the other customers behind you, but they were kind of muffled, like you were underwater.

It didn't last long though, because before you knew what was happening, you felt an almighty tug downwards,  like an anchor had just chained itself to your stomach.

And that was how you ended up in hell. Fun. What were you here for? You had no idea. Maybe God got mad that your teenage self stole a few packs of gummy bears in high school. But a life of eternal damnation and suffering seemed a little harsh, didn't it?

Before you could contemplate the semantics of it though, something...strange happened. Your ankle, right where you'd tried countless times to forget your soul mark existed, was burning like a fucking brand.

You hissed sharply in pain, frantically pulling down your sock to assess the damage. Was the eternal punishment starting already or something? Shit, you had terrible pain tolerance.

But what you saw made you gasp. In fact, you could hardly believe your eyes.

Because in the place of your faded grey soul mark, the letters had been reinvigorated, darkened with a swift hand and—glowing they were glowing holy shit.

"Hah," you huffed in disbelief, shaking your head slowly. "So that was it, huh? I was destined to meet my shitty soulmate in hell this whole fucking time?" You punctuated the last words with a few angry kicks to an unassuming patch of weeds. What a cosmic joke at your existence.

But, like you always did in shitty situations, you gathered all of your raging emotions, stuffed them tightly in a box at the back of your mind, and cooled your head. Freaking out in this place would do you no good.

Turned out hell was pretty much like the world you'd left, except for the fact that you could kill someone on the street and nobody would bat an eye. Like all of the depraved aspects of humanity were on full display now in a somehow still functioning society.

You managed to snag a job at an old record store, the owner giving you one look before grunting and gesturing to the register—but not before lifting his jacket to show you the long assault riffle strapped across his chest. Yeesh, you got the message.

It wasn't a bad job by any means, especially considering where you were. Sure a little boring and monotonous, but you'd restock thousands of old albums if it meant staying away from the overlords.

Oh, yeah, another thing. Overlords were like the big shots around hell. Messing with them usually meant a death sentence, or worse, a contract.

And if there was anything at all that you picked up from all those nights of watching television, it was that you do not make deals with the devil. Really, elementary level shit. And you'd never actually seen Lucifer, mind you, but these demons were probably a close second, right?

Yeah, so really, you were just living a shittier variant of your life on earth it seemed. Repetitive, safe and comforting. You were even starting to like the scent of musty cardboard, as weird as that was.

And once again, all thoughts of your soulmate slipped your mind.

Until one day, when everything went to shit.

****

It started like this: with the sad sight of your empty fridge.

You groaned, dragging a tired hand down your face. Seriously? You thought you'd restocked already, damn it. 

Your stomach growled achingly, and you sighed, wondering if you'd actually die again if you starved yourself. Begrudgingly, you decided that you didn't really want to chance it, throwing on the first set of clothes that you saw and slipping out of your dingy apartment to make a quick grocery run.

You generally hated leaving your apartment, and didn't do so except to retrieve bare necessities or walk across the block to go to work.

Why? Well, see exhibit A to your left: some poor, random demon screeching and running around on fire. See exhibit B to your right: a turf war between two rival gangs. And finally how could you forget, cannibal colony, slurping up intestines like bloody, chunky spaghetti. Disgusting.

The worst thing about hell wasn't the fact that you were in hell, it was the fact that the worst of the worst people were all cramped together like some fucked up refugee camp, and some people were significantly worse than others. Which sucked, for the poor unfortunate souls just trying to get by. Like you.

You sighed, ducking under a stray stream of bullets (you weren't falling for that shit twice) and side stepping pools of blood and guts. Just a regular Monday morning in hell. God damn it.

It seemed luck wasn't on your side though, because an ugly, dog-headed demon blocked your path, sneering down at you smugly. "Hey bitch, it's your lucky day. The big boss is hiring, and you fit the profile."

You clenched your grocery bags in a white-knuckled grip. Nobody would give a flying fuck if you were dragged off of the street in broad daylight. "Not interested."

"Oh it wasn't a suggestion," he chuckled darkly. You tensed as you were surrounded by at least four other demons. Shit, you knew you should have slept in.

"You like apples?" You nodded sharply at the demon in charge.

His face twisted in annoyance. "Why the fuck do y—"

You reached into your bag, before hurling a granny smith straight at his forehead. He yelped as it made contact, stumbling back as he shook his head in confusion. While everyone was still in shock from your weapon of choice, you shoved your way out of the circle, gunning it straight down the street because your second life did depend on it.

"Get her!" You heard a yell of absolute rage, making you shiver. Fuck, that did not sound promising. That apple must have really pissed him off.

Putting your limited aerobics to use, you ducked, dodged and lunged through the crowd like a pro. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, air burning your lungs as you pumped your legs faster. But of course, your grocery bag ripped open, sending all of your food tumbling and you by extension, tripping and face planting in the dirt rather pathetically.

A meaty hand gripped a handful of your hair, yanking it up harshly. You cried out as he pulled, hands uselessly trying to smack his away, but his hold only tightened. A liquor-filled breath and cheap cologne invaded your senses, making you cough.

"Uppity bitch," he growled, giving your scalp a painful yank for good measure. "You actually thought you could get away? Maybe I should teach you a lesson, huh? Sample the goods."

You froze, every nerve in your body going cold. So far in your stay in hell, you'd managed to avoid the more depraved souls here. You kept your head down, didn't draw attention to yourself, and were mostly left alone. Looked like today, your luck had finally run out.

"Get the hell off of me!" You spat, twisting around vehemently, only for your head to snap to the side as you were harshly backhanded.

"Stop your fucking whining and stay still!" He snapped, narrowing his eyes.

You bared your teeth, snapping at him aggressively.

A round of mocking chuckles went around the group of your kidnappers, the one holding your hair giving you a wicked grin. "Shit, that was cute. Really—"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because his head exploded. Literally exploded, blood and brain matter dripping from your face. His hand went slack, dropping you on your wobbling knees.

Everyone was silent for a second, staring at the bloody mess where the demon was standing two seconds prior.

And that was when you heard it. Static. Loud, crackling and ominous.

Your mouth went dry. Shit. Shitty shit shit. You knew what that meant. How could you not? The asshole broadcasted his killings all over hell like a fucking psychopath. And now, it was your turn to become hell's gory entertainment. Fan-fucking-tastic.

You stood frozen, breath stuck in your throat as dark, menacing tendrils slowly curled along the walls. A large, grinning shadow rounded the corner, before the culprit himself stalked into view, razor sharp teeth on display as he tilted his head. "Oh," his grin widened. "Am I interrupting?"

"N-No man," one of the braver demons stuttered, taking a step back. "You can have her—"

Splat.

You turned slowly to face the bloody wall, eyes wide in disbelief.

"How distasteful," the radio demon shook his head. "As if I'd participate in your brainless thuggery. No, no. Unlike you gentlemen, I have class. Truly," his eyes lit up like glowing radio dials, a dark shadowy mass rising behind him as his antlers branched out like a gnarled, rotten tree. "Did your mother never teach you any manners?"

Faster than you could blink, the demons around you were reduced to blood, cartilage and splintered bone. The overwhelming irony scent made you want to gag, but you didn't dare move a muscle, eyes fixated on the terrifying sight before you.

When the radio demon noticed your staring, his smile sharpened, antlers shrinking as he leisurely approached you. Oh no. Nononono.

You struggled to keep from hyperventilating, your body going into shock as he leaned into your personal space. Two bloody fingers pushed into your cheeks, forcing your mouth into a morbid, artificial smile. "Oh dear," he tutted in amusement. "Where's your smile?"

You jerked back violently, eyes wide as icy cold realization washed over you. Dread squeezed your lungs as you stared at the grinning, bloody figure of your soulmate in horror.

The radio demon. Psychopath and mass murderer.

Your soulmate.

What the FUCK.

"T-This," your voice shook. "This is not happening."

There was a sudden screech of radio static, before his own eyes widened. Shit. "What," he said sharply. "Did you just say?"

"A-Ah," you trembled, leaning back. Every single nerve in your body was alight, screaming at you to get the ever-loving fuck away from him.  In what was probably the stupidest and most desperate plan of your life, you pointed over his shoulder fearfully. "Look! Another one!"

As soon as he turned his head, you bolted down the street.

****

You slammed your front door closed behind you, double—triple checking your lock before sliding down to the floor in a panting mess.

Immediately you grew paranoid. What the fuck were you thinking? A lock wouldn't keep the radio demon out. You needed fifty more locks and ten more doors. You needed to barricade yourself inside for the next month. You needed—

"Hello there!" An exuberant voice chirped.

You screamed, throwing the first thing you could grab in his direction. He caught the house slipper, inspecting it in amusement, before tossing it over his shoulder.

"My, did I scare you sweetheart? Apologies," he grinned smugly, relaxing in your recliner with a mug of coffee. Your favorite mug.  

You blinked. What the fuck?

"What are you doing in my house?" You squeaked, fingers digging into your welcome mat.

"Oh dear, allow me to introduce myself," he set the mug down on your coffee table, leisurely rising from the couch and offering a hand. "I'm Alastor! A pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure."

You didn't take his hand, instead choosing to gape at him like a dead fish.

He retracted his hand, tilting his head with a shit-eating grin. Twirling his cane, he continued like there wasn't just an awkward and terrifying pause. "I hope you don't mind that I followed you! You see, I believe our conversation was cut a bit...short." His eyes glowed as unidentifiable symbols floated in the air around him.

As quickly as they appeared however, they disappeared like they were never there. Jesus Christ, this man was giving you emotional whiplash. "Anywho!" He perked up again, ever the charming grin on his face. "Enough about me! I've yet to catch your name, darling."

Fuck. You really didn't want to give him your name.

But before you could open your mouth, he leaned closer to you, grin widening ominously. "I hope you're not thinking of lying, my dear. I must say, I'm not very fond of that quality."

"Y-Y/n!" You said quickly, raising your hands to shield your face.

There was a slight pause, before a gentle touch swiped at your cheek, retracting after a moment. You peeked your eye open, only to become vaguely ill at the sight.

"You had a little something on your face," he chuckled in amusement, holding out a clump of brain matter. With a swift flick, it was magicked away.

"What do you want?" You whimpered, overwhelmed with the entire situation.

"Oh dear, is it really that strange for me to want to get to know my soulmate?" He tilted his head, leaning towards you uncomfortably close.

"Y-Yes, actually," you stuttered, trying to look anywhere but his prominent red eyes. "I thought you'd do something more along the lines of...killing and eating me." You shrunk back as his grin widened. "Please don't eat me."

"How morbid, I would never!" He waved it away, like the idea was preposterous. "My word! What awful rumors you've been hearing about me!"

"You frequent cannibal colony and I just saw you tear apart six demons like they were freshly baked bread," you stared at him incredulously. "What hasn't been spot on?"

He paused, before giving you a humoring chuckle. "Well it seems your impression of me needs correcting!" Before you knew what was happening, nimble fingers encircled your wrist, pulling it forward gently. He pressed warm lips to the back of your hand, before giving you a charming grin. "Enchantée, ma chère."

You blinked, breath stuck in your throat. "What—What does that mean?"

"Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about it!" He gently set your hand down, before pinching your cheek condescendingly. "Well my dear, I'm afraid I have other responsibilities I must attend to!"

He stood up with a flourish, leaning on his microphone cane as he smirked at you. "Not to worry!" He snapped his fingers, and a slim, feminine shadow emerged from the ground. "Missy here will watch over you in my stead."

"What? No, I—"

"I'll be back before you know it!" He offered a chilling smile, before melting into a puddle of shadows.

You gaped at the spot where he once stood, trying to process what the actual fuck just happened. Your gaze slid over to the feminine looking shadow, still standing in the corner of your living room. She grinned at your attention, teeth sharpened.

You closed your eyes, head thumping back against your door in exhaustion. 

"I'm so fucked."

****

Enchantée, ma chère : Charmed, my dear

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin #radio demon #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #alastor x oc #alastor x ofc #alastor x original female character #hell #hazbin alastor #alastor being a menace #alastor being alastor

[theminecraftbee]

"So, and I can't believe I have to be the guy to point this out," Doc starts hesitantly.

"Terrible start! Go on," Cleo says.

"But you seem to be one of the only sane people left right now," Doc continues.

"Even more terrible, although I appreciate your delusion," Cleo says.

"And I have to--you know, if you're going to make fun of me for bringing you a problem maybe I just won't. I can solve it myself. I basically solved the moon thing myself," Doc says. "I am trying to be responsible before this turns into a whole thing."

"Doc, you came to me. Did you want anything that wasn't me making fun of you? Because you know, if so, I really feel bad for you. I already feel bad enough for you that you think you actually managed to do anything at all about the moon thing."

Doc throws his hands up. "I am trying to warn you the ocean is evil! It's important! This is important!"

"The deep sea being evil isn't new," Cleo starts, "I was building Atlantis last season--"

"It sent, sent, salmon people to kill me!"

Cleo stops. They look Doc in the eyes. They search for any signs of deception at all. It's a little hard to tell, on account of Doc only having one eye even capable of expressiveness, and his face being the opposite of human, but...

"What?" Cleo says dumbly.

"It was like, like, Beef and Skizz, they were crazy! They were talking about a giant fish and how I shouldn't defy it. And I was like, what is a Big Salmon? I don't know, man, but they're ocean mobsters. And then I started looking. It's not just them. It's not just them Cleo, it's everyone. The ocean, man, it's evil, it's getting everyone. I've, I've made a list. Grian. Have you looked at Grian lately?"

"I think if we were worried about every time Grian got possessed then we wouldn't have any free time," Cleo says hesitantly.

"Right, right, but it was supposed to be Demise. The killing each other, all of the killing each other. I thought, oh, that'll get it out of their systems. But it's not just him Cleo! It's--have you seen Gem? She's all, oh, I will build a boat. Oh, I'll provoke the creatures of the deep. And then. Do you know what I saw all of Team ZITS doing? Fishing!"

"Doc," Cleo says, increasingly concerned for him. He looks... disheveled.

"And not just fishing, oh no. They were standing in the water fishing! And Pearl! Have I mentioned that Pearl is dressing up as a salmon? I mentioned that, yes? The salmon Pearl?"

"You hadn't, unless that was the big fish thing," Cleo says.

"No, that was something different, I think Pearl is maybe a different salmon."

"Sure, okay, more than one salmon, that makes sense," Cleo says dryly.

"And everyone, they are fishing each other around the ocean, yes? Etho is in the ocean! XB is in the ocean! I think I saw Joe crawl out of the ocean earlier, he was all wet and haunted! Surely that is a sign the ocean is evil."

"No, he's just like that," Cleo says. "Also, I did the fishing rod thing too. I think it's just... normal fun."

"They're getting you too. My assessment that you're the sane one. I've said too much."

"I think you need sleep," Cleo says. "Doc, there isn't an ocean-based conspiracy. It's the start of the season. You know we're just like this."

"That's the thing, I can't sleep," Doc says. "I can't. I sleep and I see it. I see it, lurking beneath the waves. It's calling for me Cleo. It's calling. And when it calls, it seems so--kind. But then. But then! I wake up, and I remember the shape of it, and..."

Doc shudders and stops talking. Cleo looks at him a moment longer and then, like comforting a nervous animal, takes his shoulder.

"You should take a nap. It's the start of the season. You're over-stressing yourself. Too much too fast?" they say, as soothingly as possible.

"It's coming for us," Doc says. "It's coming. I don't want to ignore it this time, yes? What's coming for us. We should--we should--"

"Even if it is, Doc, I don't think we can fight the ocean. Come on. Maybe sleeping in my base will help reset your brain."

Doc shudders, but lets Cleo guide him inside. They watch until at last he falls asleep fitfully before shaking their head and sighing.

"A giant fish that was trying to kill him. Honestly. I don't know where he gets these things from. Always a conspiracy with him..."

They decide to go to Ren. Ren knows how to humor Doc. Surely they can get in their ridiculous games again, and Doc will forget all about this. Doc would enjoy the Ministry of Ministries. Maybe he can be an anarchist or something. That would be good for him.

Doc cries out in his sleep. Cleo turns to him.

Then again, they have this strange sinking feeling in their stomach. Doc's... awfully worked up.

But it's Doc.

Surely it's nothing.

#hermitcraft #docm77 #zombiecleo #a bee fic #SO THE CONTINUED OBSESSION EVERYONE HAS WITH THE OCEAN HUH. #hermitfic