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marigold-doms · 4 years

Note

Could I request an ATEEZ one? How would they react (as doms) when y/n disobeys/is a bad girl? Thank you so much!

A/n: I’ve never done reactions before but... there’s always a first! I ALSO went ahead and added what type of dom I think Ateez would be.... guys, I had a liiiiiittle toO much fun with this.... I apologize in advance if some members aren’t that elaborated. You guys can always request for more... [PLZ. Plz REQUEST MORE LIKE THIS i had fun:)]

(Know that these are based off of the interpretation and personal opinions that I have of the members)

||ATEEZ Reacts|| to their S/O being a bad girl

Hongjoong:

Manipulative/sadistic!dom

When you’re a bad gorRL... Hongjoong is def not the type to say anything about your behavior out loud. You’ll just know.

By the look he gives you. The way he reacts to you. Even the way his hand goes to grab at your side when your in public.

He just has his subtle ways of reminding you that you’re crossing the line.

He’s traditional. 3 strikes and you’re out. Meaning if you refuse to listen to his warnings the first three times. You better pray that when you finally arrive home the he’ll be too tried to actually punish your dumbass.

In which-he never fails to do.

You know how he threatens the members by telling them “come to my room after this.”?

Girl don’t be surprised when he lowers his lips against your ear to whisper “I better find your disobedient ass in my room after they leave.” Literally as the members hang out and have a good ol time in your apartment.

He doesn’t like repeating himself and when he punishes you he definitely makes it a point to make sure your know what your did wrong.

Hongjoong is the type not only to make you count as he spanks you but he’s the type to make you say “I’m sorry daddy for *insert terrible sin*.” After every hit.

His smirk grows wider from the increasing amount of tears that flow from your eyes. (Kinky mans)

I personally love a sadistic dom lol besides the point

He probably likes when you tell him that it hurts.

“Good. I want you to hurt, sweetheart.”

“Daddy can’t hear you. Moan louder for me.”

The type to tease you and when you least expect it, enTeR you. nO prep. LIKE DAMN.

Questions you. “Such a bad girl... I didn’t even touch you.” Hongjoong sharply rotates his hips against your dripping core. Filling your walls as he stuffs himself to the hilt. “who told you to get this wet for me?

No one asked but ...he’d eat it out after fucking all of his cum into you.... okeiii NEXT-

Seonghwa:

HARD!dom

I wouldn’t want to cross daddy Seonghwa if i were you.

Not only is he sadistic boy number 1 here, he’s also a power bottom.

You can be one of two types of a bad girl.

One: a helpless submissive with absolutely NO dominate tendencies in her what so ever or TWO: the sub where BRAT is literally her first, middle, and last name.

Too bad for the both of you- Seonghwa has a solution (read:punishment) for both

“Fine.” His intense eyes glare at you as he finally stops holding your wrists above your head. “Since you want to be like this, Get on top of me.”

You: 👁👄👁huh?

You’ll either be shocked or jump at the opportunity to take the small ounce of control that he’s letting you have.

Whatever you choose, He uses this to his advantage. Once you’ve settled yourself on top of him and he’s fully inside of you, he makes sure that he has your full attention before devastatingly telling you “You better not slow down or I’m. Not. Fucking. You.”

Yunho:

SOFT!dom🥺....😳

In the most disappointed voice, “Baby, what did I tell you about not listening to me?”

His form of punishment.... NO. TOUCHING. AT. ALL.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a soft boy...buT THAT DON’T MEAN HE AINT KINKY. (Kinky... but make it PRETTY)

He’ll tie you up with cute little silk ties and make sure your legs are parted as he settles in between.

Baby. Get ready for sum sensory overload because this boy LOVEs to tease you.

Those slow...soft, gentle kisses and strokes to the inner parts of your thighs. All leading up to your leaking-DESPERATE core.

-only to go RIGHT back up to your shaking knees.

30 minutes to a whole hOUr. He will keep your toes curling from the LACK of “center” attention.

Your panties completely soaked through and the most he’s done is breathe over your aching folds.

It wrecks him just as much as he wrecks you.

DONT GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN’S SIZE kINK. (Thank you giant line for giving atinys size kinks)

You wont even have to trigger him for this. As soon as his hand goes to cup over your tiny core. He groANs.

“...You’re so fragile and tiny, princess...” His hands travel over your goosebumped navel. “My cock would break this tiny, innocent body of yours...”

He LIVES for the reaction that your innocence has from his dirty talk (is that a corruption kink I see👀??) that crimson flush that your face has or the way your eyes tear up. He just UGH! He almost wants to give you something you don’t deserve.

“But... only good girls deserve daddy’s dick.”

You plead to him that you’re a good girl and it’s just MUSIC to his ears. But he likes to play with his food before he devours it.

“Maybe I shouldn’t make love to you, baby... You couldn’t possibly take all of me.”

[IM SHUDDERING GUYS I WANT HIM TO BREAk-]

Anyways.

He just wants to see all the disobedience and brattiness leave your body before he finally fills your needy cunt with his warm cum😳

Yeosang:

Rigger!dom (lowkey a cocky shit too. I see him tying his sub up and teasing her like that)

“I don’t care. Ass up, face down.” The vibrator buzzes through your body as he forcefully presses it against your unexpectant clit.

Our precious dom Yeosang here loves to admire how much of a mess your body can make with barely lifting a finger over you.

It’s the opposite and he doesn’t even make contact with your skin.

You decided to act up and you also decided to test his limits by questioning his authority over you.

Granted he doesn’t use toys often but thats why it’s called a punishment.

You don’t get what you want.

Yeosang knows that what you really want is the rock hard dick throbbing inside of his pants.

He gets “mad” at the mess you make from cummming. “That’s all, baby? You can cum from this useless little toy?”

Yeosang lowers his face to level with yours as your high spirals. Making sure to flash you a contradicting smile. “Guess you don’t need my dick then.”

He ties you up, cuffs you, latches you-honestly you can pick— and make sure that you are completely unable to move.

Bitch. He’ll masterbate in front of you and force you to watch him please himself.

“You had your fill, Doll.”

With your arms above your head and legs spread for him to bask in the pool leaking out of your wetness, he’d bring himself closer and closer to the edge. Until finally coming over to you, getting between your legs...and releasing his cum all over your deprived body.

You’d whine and try to twist out of your restraints, feeling totally wronged.

Not to worry tho. Yeosang loves punishing you, just not as much as he loves fucking his cum into you.

“I think my bad little girl’s had enough.” Spreading his cum over your stomach.

“You deserve a good fuck.”

San:

EVIL!dom

He LOVES when you’re bad.

It gives him a reason to punish you and release the sadistic beast inside of him.

Degrading, dirty talk, overstimulation, spanking, face slapping, teasing....

I could go on but i wanna save the suspense for when you talk back to him-

He’ll chuckle. “So you think it’s funny?” San seems like the type to grab your hair to get your attention so he’d hold your hair in his hands as he forces you to look at him. “We’ll see how funny it is when my dick is fucking into your delinquent little mouth, princess.”

Contrasting stimulus

-and what i mean by that is:

He’ll be pounding into you ruthlessly while whispering so gently into you ear like “look how pretty my girl looks with my dick filling you up...aww baby, you look absolutely adorable...”

LIAHSIFUKGSIFLYAGf-I’m fine

Orders you do do things that are basically impossible. Fully aware that you’ll never be able to obey even if you wanted to.

“You better not cum all over my cock with your filthy little pussy.”

....obviously, you cum around his dick and he takes your face into his hands and slaps you for disobeying as he keeps rutting himself into you.

“Aww...” Watches your eyes tear up from the overstimulation. “My pretty toy can’t take what daddy gives her....”

He stops momentarily to shower your tear-stained face with kisses-

“Too bad my bad baby... “ His hips begin to rock into you with a vice. A devilish smile spreading across his face as he sees the mess he’s making of you. “ You’re giving me another one.”

UUUPMH

Mingi:

Cocky!dom

This tall punk loves knowing that he’s the one messing you up.

Add the size kink and there you go!

He’s talking all kinds of “damn babygirl, look how fucked out you are because of me.” Or “I am I too much to handle that you’re near tears?”

borderline degrading but with a tasteful amount of self praise that lowkey gets him more hot than you actually telling him that.

What a Leo.

AnYWAYS

When you’re being bad.... Mingi is not his name.

You call him one of two things.

“Master” and/or “Sir”

He does not answer you unless you call him either of those things.

“I think my pretty little fucktoy forgot how to address her superior....”

I have a feeling that there will be a lot of orgasm denial

He’ll draw you deliciously to the edge at LEAST 3 times before he’ll even consider letting you cum.

He won’t be satisfied until he thinks you’ve had enough.

Which is-trust me- probably too much for your body to handle but hey-

YOU DECIDED TO PISS HIM OFF SO WHOS FAULT IS THAT?

—but also... rag doll y/n??? Anyone??? No?? just me?👁👄👁ok—

-more over

He might have slight sadistic tendencies but it’s more for pleasure than it is for actually inflicting pain unto you.

He’s a little soft in that aspect because he would hate to think that he’s harming his lovely baby

Mingi basically wants you putty in his hands

Once you’ve finished playing the back and forth between who’s truly in charge, it’s basically a battle of who can make the other more of a mess.

I genuinely think that dom Mingi is the type to start out punishing you but by the time he’s lost in the pleasure of it all, he loses it and completely showers you orgasm after orgasm.

Talk about making a punishment into a fun-ishment.

Wooyoung:

Degrading!dom🥵 (evil dom pt2)

Oh my goodness help me- this is about to be spicy... he WRECKS me in ways that I truly want him to

He wants you to know that you’re a bad girl.

Acting up? “You dumb slut.” Grabs a fist full of your hair.

Talking back? “Say that again, my cute little whore.”

Turning him on during the most inappropriate time? “I can’t wait to get home and fuck you into submission.”

DELICIOUS DIRTY TALK i will say at the very least.

Not that Wooyoung is sadistic but he likes seeing you in sexual pain.

He’ll make fun of how much your body loves his fingers, dick, tongue—as you should.

“Fuck. Look at your pussy drooling from just one of my fingers, you dirty slut.”

Teases how you moan and stutter

“Huh, baby?” He leans in as he fucks into you. “What? “D-daddy-please I can-I cant” what? You can’t what, princess??” He practically laughs at you for being so delirious and fucked.

I feel like Ateez doms just love a good stream of tears rolling down their sub’s faces. Whether it be from overstimulation, pain, or pleasure. They just sadistic like that.

Soo that being said. “Cry for me baby. Come on babygirl, cry for me. Show daddy how fucking good he punishes you.”

Jongho:

Brattamer!dom

He’s definitely into power play.

The type of play where you test his limits and when you think you’re winning-bUt the game is sO rigged that you lose EVERY time.

STRONG boy.

Loves pinning you down to get your bratty ass still.

It excites him so much when you talk back to him.

Almost as if he expects you to be bad.

Get used to bending over.

He LOVES spanking you over his knees.

There’s something so visceral about his hand creating red marks on your pretty skin that makes his cock throb from how much you squirm and beg.

Not too much dirty talk is exchanged... rather... Master Jongho likes to act. He wants to SHOW you how bad you are.

From the marks on your ass to the hickies he leaves over your breasts.

POSSESSIVE. Even if you aren’t thinking of other guys, I have a feeling that he’d somehow punish you for even looking too good.

It’s the simple grope to your ass when no one is looking and the way his eyes pierce yours as if he’s a lion on the hunt, feasting his eyes on his helpless prey.

“Didn’t I tell you not to wear this out?”

You’re trained so well that for the rest of the night, you try to obey him.

YOu sEe... that’s not how things work when Jongho gets riled up.

As soon as the door closes and right when the lock clicks.

He’s forcing you to your knees and makes you apologize to him.

Either you listen or it’s your bare ass meeting his hand, belt, paddle, ruler...etc.....

Begging? That’s a HARD yes for jongho. It’s practically what fuels him into turning into more of a harddom.

The punishment is basically the ride up the top of the roller coaster. When he finally sticks it in?? GIRL expect to be sore for DAYS.

A/n: I hope you guys liked my first reaction!💕~ sorry if there are errors, I wrote this in a rush of excitement.

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whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst · 3 years

Text

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

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thesolotomyhan · 3 years

Text

being pregnant with miguel angel felix gallardo’s kid but leaving him would include

a/n: the way i went full 180 and wrote this because i LIVE for angst and im here to share my pain with you all,, also! this came out as a preggo hc but it follows up with the angst- um i hope you all enjoy my mess

Taglist: @ fandomnerd16 @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @ all-tings-diego

let me know if you want to be tagged!

tODO POR TU CULPA ANON IM CRYING BEFORE I EVEN BEGIN-

i just need to say this to mend my broken heart but,, can you imagine miguel angel being so fucking elated the day you tell him you’re pregnant-

like im imagining you surprising him with this neatly wrapped box you give him once he comes home,,

your nervous form standing there when he gives you that stupid laugh when he picks up the box like, “whats this, amor?”

just- his smile getting bigger as he starts to unwrap the box,, pulling out this onesie you put in there-

and there’s this shine in his eyes as he holds it up,, looking at you with so much adoration,,

“estas- embarazada, tesoro?” I SOB because i know nothing feels better than to hear from you,, his dama, is pregnant with his kid, :((

and just him walking up to you,, kissing your forehead as his hands caress your stomach, lightly laughing into your hair- i :(

ok but i can feel it in me that since day one,, he would have you never leave the house no matter what because he doesnt want you out and about without him there cuidandote,,

he just gets low key worried because he doesn’t want you to get hurt while he’s working, and not be there for you right away,, so i know he would have someone with you at all times

like personal maids to do anything you ever need because he doesnt want you touching one plate or moving one foot-

he just w o r r i e s about you putting strength in anything that could harm the baby even if youve only been pregnant for a month-

se preocupa el cabron

and also him doubling security just for the sake of something ever happening,, i just- he doesn’t want absolutamente NADA que te pase ok :(

i cant- hes always telling you that you can call him whenever you need to if you want from the littlest problem to the biggest-

“por cualquier cosa, no importa la hora, you call me first, mi amor, tu eres lo mas importante para mi” -

hes just trying his hardest to be as supportive as he can for you,, im tearing up

also someone PLEASE tell me im not the only one that imagines him sitting down on a couch and having you either sitting on his lap or curled into him-

him caressing your hair and kissing the top of your head,, his hand intertwined with yours thats sitting on your stomach-

like its such a soft fucking moment that he cherishes and just looks forward to the day when he imagines holding your baby in his arms- i :((

and i can see him being the type to bring you all and every snack/food he sees on the street on his way home for you to have,,

just the way he’ll come home to you,, fresh pan dulce in his hand or ice cream as he walks up to you,, smile on his face when he leans down to kiss you-

“te traje algo para ti y el niño, amor” and his hand rubbing your stomach -i cannot handle this right now,,

god, he would also be the one to always have you sleeping on his chest,, wanting to be as close to you and his bebe when he falls asleep,,

but also him staring at the ceiling,, thinking of names he likes for your baby,, and just him blurting them out randomly when he really likes one,

i cant-and the little smile on his face when he hears you softly giggle into his chest,, sleepily telling him if you like that name or not- im crying i wow-

ok now listen,, -i want you to imagine with me somewhere at the point of your pregnancy where you find out the gender of your baby ok-

i can imagine you wouldnt have told miguel about you going to the doctors maybe because you wanted to surprise him or maybe it just crossed your mind and you forgot to tell him-

but whatever the reason,, you wouldve wanted to give him the news at his office at hotel americas because youre too excited to wait until later to tell him,,

and i just imagine you carrying this first ever picture in your hand of your baby, this smile on your face as you head up,, i

but right when you round the corner down to his office, you bump into this lady, still trying to button her shirt up, adjusting her outfit and not even acknowledging you as she walks all giggly away from you-

and from this point,, you already know something isnt right even tho you want to so badly brush it off, you cant,

not when you look down the hall where miguels office door was left open-

god, just the nagging tension pulling on your shoulder every time you take a step closer to his door,,

and the moment you push the door open,, its like a weight was dropped on your heart because there miguel stands, right behind his desk, adjusting the collar of his shirt, his hair all messed up and sticking out everywhere-

just- the whole world feeling like it stopped when he looks up at you, standing there in the doorway,, looking at him with so much resentment in your eyes because you fucking know what happen ed when everything clicked for you- i

“mija, que haces aqui? you should be at home, resting-” and like just the way hes trying to play it off like you didnt just catch him angers you even more, your tense form looking at him and teeth gritting-

“who was that vieja, miguel?”

and just woW him giving you that fucking scoff he does as he smiles at you, moving to start walking up to you,,

“que vieja, mijita?”

i- and the way you give him this dry laugh,, not even noticing your hand starting to crumble the picture in your hand- “no soy pendeja miguel, diME quien era esa mujer” your voice starting to slowly crack,, your eyes filling with angry tears as you back away from him-

i fucking CRY at the thought of desperate miguel trying to hold your arms and calm you down,, and just holding your body against his when you start to struggle out of his hold,, his voice rising to get you to calm down when you start to hit his chest like- como pudiste? after everything we’ve been through, me enganas, como nada-?”

i just- his hands trying to stop you from pushing him away and get ahold of you- “BASTA mija, ella no es nada para mi, let me fix this, tu eres la mejor cosa para mi” i- and him looking at you todo perdido when you push him away angrily,, wanting to get as much space away from him

and theres this tense ass moment where you can barely even look at him through your eyes,, taking a shaky breath like- “cuantas mas hay,,,, dime la verdad-”

but- ,just him looking down, silent becasue he cant bring himself to lie to you again,, not with they way he can feel his heart in his throat if he even tries to- “dejame arreglar esto, profavor mi amor, i never wanted to hurt you”

i cant- just the way he can see your heart break further when he looks at you,, hurting the one person he promised to never destroy,,

and his own feeling like it fucking shatters as he watches you toss your ring at him,, your words further crushing him - “nunca pense que llegaria el dia en que te dijera that i dont love you anymore after what you did”-

and just, your muffled cries struggling to leave your mouth as you turn around,, not even noticing when the crumpled picture of your baby falls to the floor-

your legs moving without even thinking towards his door,, not once glancing back at him when he tries to call out your name as you slam the door behind you- i

THIS IS YOUR FAULT ANON

#narcos mexico imagine #narcos mexico imagines #miguel angel felix gallardo x reader #miguel angel felix gallardo #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

5 Anti LO Asks

1. i dont even think lo persephone is particularly a bad character, i think the issue is rachel has no idea what to do with her. she wants her to be native and innocent but also deadly and confident, but that'd require persephone to have some flaws/complexities, so she just makes up vague "feelings" and the underworld making her smell bad. rachel herself cant commit to actually letting persephone be a real character with weaknesses and flaws. which just ends up making persephone boring and flat.

(same anon abt persephone's lack of flaws) the issue too is that because rachel made persephone the most powerful goddess and has hades as the most powerful king with all the resources, all sense of stakes and tension is just not there. they dont even have actual antagonists because apollo, demeter, and leto are jokes, minthe had no power, and everyone falls over backwards to defend hxp, and we already know the ending. the plot and conflict are as shallow as the characters themselves.

2. its honestly kinda ??? that there is art of lo demeter and persephone and how loving of a relationship they are (were?) and yet thats not in the actual comic? like demeter's love for persephone is framed as abusive and cruel and the actual reason for persephone's problems yet everything demeter said would happen did?? and those werent her fault? like its one thing if demeter had all these fears but were proven wrong, but she's time and time again proven right? and is still framed badly for it???

3. i think part of the reason the art of lo doesnt hold up is bc the world is very flat. like the characters are already boring enough in their colors being the only actual character design, but the world around them is very lacking. theres no distinct buildings, no distinct flowers or trees, and the backgrounds all just flat voids of a single color with some sketchup lines slapped on top. now, other webtoons do this too, but its so the panel doesnt become overwhelmed, LO does it to be lazy.

4. the webtoons app updated to where now the main page banners change every time you open the app to let more series get ad space so OF COURS LO has a banner on it and?? its confusing?? like it has persephone being ~sexy in a bathtub~ and the tagline is "no service in the underworld" and its like what does that even mean?? also the ads love to pretend shes this confident, sexual woman when shes literally everything but in the actual comic. its kinda shocking how often the LO ads just lie like that.

5. Comparing LO to some other WEBTOON I would say that LO is too ambitious for its writer. For “Forever After” you normally just have the current issue and the overall issue with the story, so just because we go through characters in that story their characters complete their arcs. True Beauty is drawn out BUT arcs are still tied up abs even tho it’s not as interesting as it was it still holds my attention positively. “The first night with the duke” kinda got past the point I care about but still again has me drawn in. Suitor of Armor’s story is expanding greatly but I feel the writer already has plans for that

BUT LO is another story. The cast seems bloated for the plots going on and I’m losing track. Like Eros got to explain his little story, and then we forgot about it for a bit with Hades and Aphrodite talking about it for a split second and then way later Eros says “I’m gonna find Pyche” but is he looking? No he just asks his mom for more hints we don’t see him try to do anything clever. He doesn’t even find her on his own merit. And after two years we don’t even get a full conclusion how that went. They shot arrows at Apollo and then what? They were high up in the air, was Eros able to break their fall (probably) What about the whole falling for Ampleutus stuff? We probably won’t see anything for another couple months regrading those two.

ARTEMIS! She’s Persphone’s roommate, we know she’s lying about never having a crush but who is it? RS stated Artemis is gay. Does it matter? Does it influence the plot at all? Is it gonna be a big reveal that Zeus is her father? Why does she hate the three kings so much? Does Zeus know he’s her father? Or was Apollo abs Artemis “created” like Persphone and Hera? (Probably not but still)

HESTIA and ATHENA! When did they start TGOEM? Why did they? Hestia isn’t Athena’s aunt right? Was Athena “created” by Zeus? How does Hera feel about that? What was Hestia like before the war and now? Is Hestia close with the other six traitors?

Hera and her kids! We know Hera has more than Hephaestus Ares and Hebe but like what’s the story man? Hera is closer to all three of these children (Zeus seems to discourage Hephaestus presence, Ares defends his mom, and Hebes mad at Zeus for banishing Ares from the house) but these weren’t snap things that happened, it seems like the kids bond to their mother way more than their father just in general before the story, but why? I feel like Hera’s stuff is used as filler but I’m still more interested rather than HXP all the time. Whose the sister? Why is Hera closer to P rather than her own kids it seems. And echo!? Why did Zeus hire her and what’s the agreement?

That ghost that keeps showing up?

Whatever the Kronos revival plot is?

What happened to rhea?

So the Trojan war already happened?

What’s the deal with Demigods?

Nymphs can have parents but sometimes don’t? (Daphne was crested by Demeter, but Thetis has a mom?)

Is Megara and P now just friends? Or did we miss her character where she either gets over hades or plots revenge?

I just feel like with everything LO isn’t planned this far out and it’s just worrying for what she’s in the mood for not tying plots together and getting much figured out. Like the plot just Keep not moving forward because there’s just too much to cover.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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izzielizzie · 3 years

Note

I just wondering if you could do a headcanon based on Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift, cuz im sorta in love with that song but i dont mind who. Thx so much, u dont have to tho ❤

Yes! Champagne Problems is my absolute favorite song on the album along with Tis The Damn Season so I’m very excited! This is a Keely/Luis fic, which I've never done so I’m confused too don’t worry, but it does make sense I assure you. Also, there are ticket men and balls so um,,, have fun deciding what time period this is in because I don’t know. Enjoy!! Also there are notes at the end.

You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt

”Are you sure you want the three am train?” the ticket man asked. No, Luis was not sure and he had half a mind to go back to Keely’s house as fast as he could, but he didn’t have that choice anymore.

”Yes, thank you.” Luis and the man exchanged money and tickets.

”Well, have a good night then,” the man said.

”Doubtful,” Luis muttered as he sat on a bench to wait for the train.

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse

Luis ran his hand over the ring box in his pocket as he waited in the silence. It was strange, to be able to hear his own thoughts when an hour ago he was surrounded by so many people he could hardly hear Keely’s voice.

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

His hand still tingled, where hers used to be. He could still feel the way her fingers slid along his palms for the last time as she spun away from him.

Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing

Luis could still feel the snow on his coat and on the knee of his best pants. He could feel the biting cold on his cheeks as he watched her blubber apologies he couldn’t hear.

Champagne problems

He leaned against the railing of the balcony as he watched her drown cup after cup of the champagne he knew her family always bought.

Your mom's ring in your pocket

The box he had warmed in his palms and opened to the cold felt heavy in his hands. The ring he had seen glint on his mother’s finger every day until it was too heavy for her to bear was too painful to look at. He wanted to see it glint again, but the snow was in the way.

My picture in your wallet

Luis pulled out his wallet to see how much money he had, and if there was enough for the train when he saw the picture he always looked at: Keely, his mother, and himself laughing at his high school graduation. It was the last time his mother left the house.

Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

Luis felt his heart shatter as Keely smashed the top of the next bottle in the hall downstairs.

You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in

Luis’s brothers made a beeline for him when he slowly walked down the stairs, his money where Keely’s hand should have been.

”Did she say yes?” Manny asked.

Luis didn’t answer. The look on his face was answer enough.

Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating

Luis’s sister-in-law came towards them with a glass of wine in her hand.

“Did she say yes?”

Manny shook his head at his wife.

She dropped her glass, the red wine splashing onto her dress.

Dom Perignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded

Cooper handed Luis the bottle of wine Luis had brought earlier that afternoon when he entered the kitchen.

“Are we celebrating?” Nate asked.

Luis shook his head.

Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems

Vanessa Merriman, Luis’s friend from childhood laughed a short humorless laugh as she pulled herself up onto the counter, her ball gown fluffed to one side.

”It’d call it too much wine if you asked me.”

”I’m sorry Luis,” Bronwyn added, pressing a gloved hand against his arm. He shook it off.

You had a speech, you're speechless

He had a speech planned. He had wanted to thank his friends for supporting him. For reminding him how much his relationship with Keely had helped him grow as a person.

Love slipped beyond your reaches

“I loved her,” was all he could say. Olivia, Vanessa, and Bronwyn pulled him into a hug, their arms around him as his shoulders shook and the bottle slipped out of his hands, staining his shoes and the hems of their dresses.

And I couldn't give a reason

”Did she tell you why?” Kris asked.

Luis shook his head.

Champagne problems

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Vanessa miming drinking to Kris, who nodded with pursed lips.

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

Luis could see her new car through the window of the kitchen. He could see the handle he pulled on to open the door for her whenever they went for drives. It was the only thing not covered in snow.

November flush and your flannel cure

Keely had been shivering the first time they exited that car five weeks ago. They were going to their old dorm for the last time with their friends to visit his younger brother. Without a second thought, he pulled off his flannel jacket and wrapped it around Keely’s arms.

He didn’t have to think about much in their relationship.

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

Luis could still remember the day Vanessa dared them to a game of soccer in the halls when they all woke up with major hangovers. “What a mad house,” he had commented as everyone laughed.

I made a joke "well, it's made for me" how

The joke was a small one that they had all found amusing and then forgot about, until now.

“She really was mad huh?” Olivia asked.

“I guess.”

Evergreen, our group of friends

“She’s messed up everything,” Vanessa added.

Don't think we'll say that word again

“We won’t be us without Keely,” Bronwyn agreed as she wrapped her arms around Nate, who was leaning against the stove.

Luis didn’t question how they all agreed to drop Keely from their group. It seemed natural.

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through

“Oh, sorry.” Everyone turned to look at Keely in her black dress and gloves.

“What do you want?” Olivia asked.

Keely’s eyes darkened. “This is my house. And I’m getting the Christmas decorations.”

They watched as Keely walked through the kitchen to the door that concealed the basement steps. Decorations felt odd for a time like this.

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go

Luis stood and watched as she disappeared down the steps.

Sometimes you just don't know the answer Till someone's on their knees and asks you

“God, she wasted an eight year relationship,” Vanessa said, shaking her head.

Eight years. Luis didn’t know how badly he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her until she refused to.

"She would've made such a lovely bride What a shame she's fucked in the head", they said

His friends’ words were still in his head as he sat in the train station.

“She’s fucked up Luis, it’s not your fault.”

“There’s nothing you can do when someone like that makes up their mind.”

But you'll find the real thing instead

“Hello. May I sit with you?” Luis looked up to see a girl with a beautiful white gown and a green coat and cap standing in front of him. He could see her shining amber eyes, even though it was dark in the station.

“Do I know you?” Luis asked.

The girl smiled and nodded. “I left the same party as you. Keely’s? I’m Bronwyn’s younger sister.”

Luis knew he recognized the voice. “Maeve?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you here?”

“I needed to go home, and Bronwyn wasn’t ready yet. I’m not fond of Christmas parties.”

“Neither am I,” Luis said. Maeve laughed and fiddled with the skirt of her dress. It really was the prettiest dress Luis had ever seen.

“May I sit?”

“Of course.”

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

They sat and laughed for hours as they waited for the train, and Luis walked her home in the snow. Her shoes were soaked through so he carried her the last few blocks, and he fell in love as she laughed, her eyes shining.

And hold your hand while dancing

A year later, she wore the same gown as she had at the train station as they danced in her ballroom with the rest of their friends. After a while they found their way to her balcony overlooking her yard.

Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems

“Want a drink?”

“No thank you, Luis.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“No, I’ll come with.”

Your mom's ring in your pocket

He never got the wine though, because once they were in the middle of the ballroom, he was kneeling in front of her with his mother’s ring on her finger.

Her picture in your wallet

It might have been Vanessa who took the picture. Or maybe Cooper. They were never sure, but one copy was in his wallet and one was in her locket with their children until the day they died.

And you won't remember all my Champagne problems

They were toasted with glasses of champagne, and for the first time he wasn’t hurt by the sight. Tonight was a night for celebration. Not for heartache.

You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“I’m glad you didn’t marry Keely Luis my dear,” his mother told him at the wedding, the first time she was able to leave the house.

“Who?” Luis answered.

Notes:

It’s snowing idk why

They’re at Keely’s vacation house which is why Luis had to take a train back home

I hinted at it but Luis’s mom was sick when this happened, and better at the wedding

Also this was a mildly petty fic my goodness.

Also this happened in about eight different time frames/locations that I’ve woven into one fic: There’s Luis and Maeve at the train station, Keely and Luis at her house on the balcony overlooking the dancers, Luis talking to his brothers and sister in law, Luis and his friends at their dorm, Luis in the kitchen, Maeve and Luis on her balcony overlooking the yard, Maeve, Luis and friends in Maeve’s ballroom in her parents’ house, and then their wedding at the very end.

That wasn’t any clearer sorry

I hope you enjoyed!!!

#maeve x luis #izzielizzie's fics

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years

Text

Zukaang soulmates part 6

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

With the fact that Zhao attempted to have him killed and that he's now closing in on the north pole, aka Aang, aka the avatar, AKA his soulmate. Zuko was panicked. But he was ready. So ready I fact that he dove into tunnel of water just because otterseals were diving in it and he though, ah yes, they must be breathing somewhere. He was right of course. But then he dove further and came to a thick sheet of ice, nearly drowned, melted the ice and came up gasping for air in one of the icy tunnels. How he survived to this point in life is sheer luck.

But now he had another thing he had to do. Dry off and search for the avatar. Which wasn't that hard given how his mark stung more the closer he got.

He found them pretty fast and after being defeated with the moon overhead Zuko made a surprise attack once the sun came out, taking Aang with him and running off while Katara was out.

After nearly falling into a snowy pit he managed to get himself and his soulmate to a cave setting him upright and sitting across from him. Looking the boy up and down he found himself wondering what he was even doing, why was he still doing this to himself. Chasing and attacking his soulmate for what? The love of the father who burnt half his face off. He let out a long sigh and reached forward taking hold of the boys hands and turning them over, spotting the mark he was looking for.

A small flame turned golden. He looked at the mark with sad eyes, the cool blue glow of the airbenders tattoos bouncing off of the warm gold and creating a rather beautiful image. "What I wouldnt give to do just one right thing in my life" shut his eyes for a moment and then opened them to find the glow was gone and the airbender was staring at him

"What are you doing?"

"Uh... goodmorning?" He was immediately blown across the cave and Aang shot himself out of the cave. Zuko found himself chasing after him not to take him back but to untie him "wait, you'll need the ropes off to get anywhere!"

"What!?" Zuko managed to catch up to him and cut the ropes as the bison landed

"Just.. go" he said defeated and turnes to head back to the cave "Im... sorry"

"Wait!" He heard Aang shout

He only managed to turn a but before he was being dragged up onto the bison and tied up "woah, what the hell are you doing?" He asked panicked but didn't struggle

"Youll die out here, but I mean, youre not fighting it so..." Sokka stated matter of factly and Zuko just hung bis head in defeat

"Whatever" he then turned to look at Aang with a worried expression before looking back at his feet

They made it back to the Oasis just in time to almost stop Zhao. When Zuko saw the flames hit the fish he struggled against his binds and got out with Sokka's help. "Thank you" he whispered "I'll be back, I promise, just, dont leave without me" and with the confused nod from Sokka he took off after Zhao.

Firing a blast at the man who tried to have you killed is, to say the least, exhilarating. Watching his expression turn to shock is even better though. They fought on equal ground until the bridge where Zuko got the upperhand, that is before the ocean spirit decided to grab Zhao. Extending his heand he shouted "take my hand!" He was honorable, its true, to a fault. But Zhao found it better to die than take the hand of the banished prince. Watching him fall he took a moment to recollect himself before darting back towards the oasis, once their he stopped to catch his breath

"Is-" he looked up to see Sokka, Katara, and his Uncle in mourning, but no Yue. He didnt need to know everything to figure out what happened. So he just made his way there and sat next to Sokka "Im so-!" Sokka immediately wrapped his arms around Zuko and just stayed there and he had no idea what to do with this situation. He looked at his uncle and to Katara for advice and Katara motioned for him to hug back. And so he did, awkwardly patting his back.

"Youre terrible at this"

"Im not used to this, and I dont do well with physical contact or comforting people. I'm making an attempt if that counts for anything"

"It does, thanks, and sorry, and also..." Sokka backed up and punched his arm "fuck you for chasing us for so long and what made you suddenly stop?"

"Its... a long story, and not one I'm all too comfortable talking about... but I came to the realization of multiple things while sitting in that cave. And I decided I couldn't keep chasing a kid my age just to attempt to get the love of a dad who doesn't want me" he let out a breath

"Welp... there is sure alot to unpack there. And we don't have the time to unpack it all right now, but uh, welcome to the... gaang?"

By the end of the day Zuko and Iroh were sitting on the back of the flying bison apparently named Appa. Leaning as far away from the group as he could, mainly trying not to be a nuisance, he held his knees to his chest and watched the back of Aang like a lost puppy. Iroh however was sitting relatively close to Sokka and Katara, sharing stories about pai sho, tea, and of course a few childhood stories about Zuko. The watertribe siblings seemed a bit too trusting, it was probably the presence of Iroh tho, he had away with people that Zuko could never master.

Zuko closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep, tipping over and laying in the fetal position he was out like a light, feeling a blanket cover him he didnt move but fell onto a deeper sleep. Today was the start of a completely different journey than he ever imagined he'd take.

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indigopurple · 4 years

Text

Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig

Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.

During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(

"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.

When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!

Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.

This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.

"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.

Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.

"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.

I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.

Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.

Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries

Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.

Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.

Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot

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zombeamik · 5 years

Text

OKAY LIVE REACTION TO RIKAS BACKSTORY DLC HERE WE GO

okay so spoilers again lol

okay so i thought when you played the scret ending 1? riaks backstory was free? e-e

HAHA NVM WAS JUST THE FIRST EPISODE time to go buy 330 hour glasses ANYWAYS

okay seriosuly thing for people who dont like Rika, for what she did. You should honestly play her backstory.. it really could clear some things up for you, and it may chnage your mind, just abit hopefully.

you shouldnt just say no to story, just because you don’t like her.

Of course, if you really dont want to read it fine, but it can probably really help.

Episode 1

this god lady sounds like Jaehee tbh SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OH Mina is Rikas real name :3 How cute already liking this. WONT BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE RETS OF IT THOUGH

Mina/Rika, they really didnt deserve what happened to them.

HOLY FCUK I HONESTLY THOUGHT MIKA WAS FUCKING RIKA BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND OKAY OR AM I GETTING TI MIXED UP?

okay gotta buy 330 hours glasses but THEN ILL CONTINUE MY REACTION

OKAY IM BACK TO REACT AND TO CRY OKAY COOL

the game didnt like me buying more hourglasses o it decided to messwith mu audio.

okay had to restart my phone THANKS ANOTHER SETBACK

Episode 2

okay so, i like Mika back here. BUT WHAT I SAW IN THE V ROUTE, thats not cool Mika. you were kinda okay? you were already a little manipulative to a three year old. “My little sister, should always have short hair” how about you shut up. Twins? All she ever wated was to be loved and not taken away from her “Twin”, Maybe thats why she cared so much for Saeran and Saeyoung before she ddi what she did. Mika no, no. You’re the one who put those awful things in Minas/Rikas mind ugh okay i go back to not liking her, that was very fast.

Okay grown up Rika/Mina, okay rika i like you when you arent doing ur creepy eyes. UGH honestly im so mad at Mika, honestly the fuck. CUTE PICTURES OF V AND RIKA YES okay i know, i like V and all but tbh they were cute together.

excuse me V you shouldve said THATS WHY I ADORE UR SUN BC THATS ALL SHE NEEDED TO HEAR, she didnt want to hear that you loved her because of her darkness. She wnated someone to love her, or show her a tiny bit of warmth so she could find the light inside her. So, so far, Mika is the one who introducded her to this “darkness” SO UNLESS RIKAS BACKSTORY CAN GIVE ME A REASON TO NOT DISLIKE MIKA AND FORGIVE HER I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT.

Episode 3

THATS THE FIRST THING I OPEN UP TO?

UR SO CREEPY, WHY DID GOD SEND YOU? THE FUCK WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE YOU

sorry what?

Mina, Serena

Im glad she went with Rika, I like Mina, but Rika ive gotten used to it. Maybe she’ll go back to Mina one day?

Oh. Okay i dont like Rika/Mina/Serena’s Mother. and the pastor, no wonder she started a cult, i mena look at his outfit. WHAT KIND OF SHITTY PASTOR ARE YOU

NO WONDER SHE STARTED A FUCKING CULT, YOU ARE ALL DOUCHEBAGSSSSSSSS

“NEEDS ALOT OF PRAYERS” how about you shut up, man, Pastor my fucking ass, Devil worshipper is more fucking likely.

excuse me pastor, your voice in my ears IS FUCKING CREEPY DO YOU MIND

UR LIKE A PERVERT

“ your body has grown, is it satan?” HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LEAVE HER ALONE

yep, i fully understamd now why she created a cult. okay im only on 3 of 8 but still

EXCUSE ME LADY, YOUR DAUGHTER CLEARLY SAID NOT O GOING WITH THE PASTOR LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND DONT BE A RUDE BITCH

I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR HER FATHER?

WHY DID WE FIND MIKA IM SO CONFUSED

oh, her dads the head of the hospital, okay. all good.

YEAH YOU TELL HIM MIKA

YEAH THANK YOU NURSE KICK HIM OUT P[LEASE

WEEE THANKS NURSE

she just wnated to be free from hatred?

BUT NOBODY WOULD ALLOW HER, THEY KEPT PUSHING HER FURTHER INTO THE DARKNESS

okay gone back to not liking Mika just abit

oh.

now i dont know?

Episode 4

THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR EITHER

Mika had cacner in her eyes.

Mika lived a while though, so her dad must have paid the bills.

MIKA LIED ABOUT THE PHONE NUMBER AND THE ADRESS THE FCUK

Did she really grow up at the orphange? PROBABLY FUCKING NOT

I was just feeling sad for her, but then she did that.

WAIT RIKA HONEY NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Oh.

so she made V blind because of that?

PUPPY

okay no, no new puppy then.

MS. HEAD OF THE RFA

no v, shes brainwashed him.

THE BOTANICAL GARDEN

No V you should focus on saeyoung because ive turned saeran into somebody i regret now.

Rika no.

you didnt have to shut everyone out,

he asked you to leave?

Ugh im so confused?

WELL MIKA WAS RIGHT TEACHER THEY WERE BAD PARENTS

GROSS PASTOR PLEASE DONT SAY LITTLE LABM AROUND MINA, THATS CREEPY

Oh.

right yeah, she only separated saeran and saeyoung because of their parents.

Mika, why.

she didnt have to lie about the orphanage, and then why you said you made Rika think it was all her fault, and then ugh

A FUCKING PUPPY

WAIT SALLY

SHUT UP MOTHER, ITS A CUTE DOG AND WE BOTH LOVE IT

YEAH SALLY YOU GROWL AT HER

Oh.

I KNEW IT

the pastor is a creep, a pervert, child molester

EXCUSE ME MOTHER?

THATS THE FUCKING RITUAL TO GET SATAN OUT OF HER?

EXCUSE ME THAT IS FUCKING ILLEGAL PASTOR OR NOT

dont fucking freak out, you told her to leave because you didnt want sally in the house and now your like THE FUCK YOU GOING SERENA HUH? ugh

Rika no, that isnt the right choice.

EXCUS ME MIKA DIED?

THEN WHO THE FUCK WAS THERE WHEN RIKA WAS OLDER

DID MIKA LIE ABOUT DYING?

SALLY UR SO CUTE

oh bad momesnt to mention sally being cute.

listen, all rika every wanted was to love someone.

defo a cult, Believer’s? This some sort of god cult.

WAIT NO SALLY DONT CRY

oh she was 16.

oh dear.

well that was a roller coaster

Episode 5

great she started working a church, and became a nun. even more fantastic

OH SWEET HER NAME IS FINALLY RIKA

I do like the names Mina and Serena but still Rika.

well wjat she thought she was doing was okay. Not wanting anyone to be abandoned?

she just uh turned it into something alot bigger than helping out at a church

She only treated people the way she did was because she didnt know how loving parents acted, so what she thought she was doing was right to her, since she didnt know anything else.

okay so shes 18.

and she wnated to shoe people her light instesd fo her darkness

AN THEN SHE MEETS V

OH THE CLOUD PHOTO, man when she looked at it she said Mother, because thats the first thing that came to mind.

SHE JUST WNATED TO BE A SUN BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW

SAEYOUNG

WHY DOES TINY SAEYOUNG SOUND LIKE BIG SAEYOUNG

yeah she thought that of she didnt protect saeyoung he’d rot just like Mika.

heh

Oh.

she could see her and mIka in him so she grew attached

she onyl wanted to do good

Rika the Angel but she thought of herself as Rika the Devil ok

Episode 6

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSUNG

okay so she didnt want yoosung to find out about her darkness

Rika honey, its okay. he still would ahve loved you.

Okay so Oh got it okay.

Yoosung is the son of rikas mothers sister,

SHE WAS SO WORRIED HE’D BE RUINED IF HE STAYED CLOSE

RIKA NO DONT OUT YOURSELF DOWN

YOU’RE EQUAL TO YOOSUNG D:

REUSING PHOTOS ARENT YOU CHERITZ OK

BUT HYE V

she couldnt feel anything? well V is both light and dark rika.

man v still doesnt know rikas real name BUT WE DOOOOO

episode 7

Man v ur kinda smooth with words but at the same time like you just met.

V MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND

okay so she modelled for V and then when she was doing that they didnt talk much? man V atleast tell her she did good. how rude.

ZENNNN

v the fuck you didnt even say goodbye, just IM GONNA GO GRAB MY CAMERA AND THEN FCUKING WALK OFF

V no.

you didnt even compliment her or anything, you just said heres lets take pictures but we aint gonna talk and thn when your done, i aint gonna say you did well or anything like that.

V you kinda an asshole.

NO SALLY

okay shes fine.

V was just curious about me because im not like the rest”

kinda sounds like it,

YES RIKA YOU DO DESERVE THE SUN HONEY

YOU ARE THE SUN I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS

oh so it was Mina that wanted to be loved.

well shes still a prt of you rika, so that measn you wanted to be loved aswell.

okay so she stopped visiting V

V came to visit her

make up your fuckingmind V

“Heathen Cult”

well yeah basically.

JUMIN

V WHAT THE FUCK

“ can you show me how dark you are?”

HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NO

SHE CLEARLYT SAID NO V

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING PUSH HER TO SHOW YOU

okay all good

she told V everything

and she scared she;ll end up like Mika.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANOTHER V AND RIKA PHOTO

HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS

WAIT HONEY DONT CRY

MINA YEEE

LAST EPISODE

wow thats fast.

okay so saeyoung went abroad and then she stopped disagreeing when saeren was saved

then she met Jumin a year later, sweet.

HAPPY ENDING

WELL YOU HAVE ONE NOW RIKA UR HAPPY AND YEEE

okay so then she got her aparement

and then she dint know if things to turn to the worst or the best

well id say the worst but you did save alot of people.

you may have brainwashed them but they would ahve probably died without her help.

MIKA UR STILL ALIVE

UR BLIND THO

YUP OKAY GOT IT

MIKA DIDNT TURST V SO RIKA WAS LIKE OK YEAH I DONT EITHER BC UR ALWAYSSSSSS RIGHT

right.

Mina believed her.

so she agreed.

SO CUTE

WHAT

MIKA NO

USE SAERAN AND YRUN HIM INTO A HACKER

HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT UP MIKA

IM BACK TO NOT LIKING YOU

MINA

YOU

YOU MANIPULATED MINA INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK

SHE TRUSTED AND YOU

AND YOU USED HER

“I must not use that boy. I must save him”

WELL THANK YOU RIKA

what kind of bullshit is that.

WELL YOU SHOULD DEFIENTLY TELL V BUT WHEN MIKA SAY NO YOU GOTTA AGREE BECAUSE MINA TRUSTS HER

EXCUS EME RIKA

MINA WAS THE LIGHT

mika is the dark

mika just please shut up.

okay she died. thats sad but like

NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID

CUTE PHOTO OF RIKA YES

Thoughts

thst was um

one crazy ride

AND I WAS THERE FOR IT

so glad i read it.

even if you dont like rika at all

please do

its worth it.

as you can see my thoughts were jumbled in the actual live reaction

but it makes alot of sense kind aof?

im to lazy to write a review so thats the best you’re gonna get.

Its really good, to actually understand why Rika/Mina/Serena turned out the way she was.

i mena i already forgave her in the V ending

but even though she did those bad things, if someone just loved her and didnt feeed her with horrible views of the world, she was still a caring girl even though the darkness took a hold of her,

Im not glad of what happened to her, but if it didnt we would have never even met anyone. so as mucha s i hate to say it, im glad of what happened, and 100% glad we could help her through with it.

Okay, well that was fun.

#mystic messenger #rika dlc #rika #V #saeran #saeyoung #spoilers

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ayyponine · 5 years

Text

anyway imma talk a bit abt some time i spent w my dad earlier.

leading up to it i was p nervous bc he just returned frm visiting my sister in mexico. before he left i big time opened up w my abuse.doc on the whole Living With My Sister Nightmare Experience after which he said i was free of any blame and that SHE is the one who’s always been ruthless and rancorous and that he was definitely gonna have a word w her abt how she vindictively tried to ruin me for years on end. so i was 100% worrying abt her maybe straight up denying it all, saying im lying re: some things and overreacting w the rest, and getting him to doubt me just enough to pull him and then my mom back to her side and undo every bit of peace and self worth ive tried to win by composing that doc. in the end we didn’t even talk abt that. he asked me abt my trip, i asked abt his. we had a nice dinner, i gave him advice re: his cold, and we drove to visit my grandparents after. so i gratefully took the opportunity to shove my own shit to the bg fr a bit and focused on just being the sweet bubbly granddaughter, happy to see and talk to them all fr a bit.

and like im still worried he maybe thinks that shit is more nuanced, that my sister somehow had a logical reason to terrorise without stop and that it’s just as much my fault as it is hers that shit got out of hand the way it did. but at least for tonight i get to feel like i might be a better daughter and granddaughter than she is rn. i managed to not be too down and keep both him and his parents entertained and no one had to worry about me fr a few hrs. and ngl. it helped to hear his trip was a bit of a letdown. he was glad to return home. had a run in w some shady & corrupt cops. saw a huge rich/poor divide. seemed judgemental that my sister has landed a rich boy, that they’re living in a big house the guy’s father has provided and that they’re both lazy & not working. (i mean, i’m not working either. tho i have somewhat of an excuse i guess? i mean that’s still a big personal letdown tbh but anyway.) he had comments on the food & rising obesity esp among the youth (my family can be p ruthless on that front. if youve gained some weight, hoo boy). the roads are weird. the hotel was lacking. the rain season was exceptionally long so the weather in belgium was actually better than it was there. i know it sounds stupidly petty, but i was thirsting to hear more abt what he disliked as if a negative experience tied to her could somehow make him love me more instead. it’s sad but it’s true.

so like, that’s it. i wish i could say it didnt still hurt me to know she’s landed herself that god damn happy ending. she’s got a guy who actually fell for her. she’s raising their kid in a big house she didnt have to work for. can devote all her free time to her yoga/herbal/permaculture soulseeking thing, guilt-free and with familial facebook admiration. while pregnant she had v seriously intended to dump him bc she barely knew him and wasnt sure abt the relationship. (they briefly broke up after a fight, mom and i lived in silent dread as she took some time to think abt whether she’d take him back or continue living with us.) she then compared that life he offered with the one she had fucked up over here, and made the decision to back out of the mess she’d created to start over with a guy we aren’t allowed to tell the full story of what a horrible person she’s actually been. all while for the past year i’ve been struggling to find my bearings and if anything feel even less capable/more stressed abt that now. i mean yeah, that difference in how things worked out fr us really still hurts. it still seems so incredibly unfair while i’m completely powerless, and i dont know if it’s a feeling that will ever fade away.

but yknow, tonight i did ok. and maybe next week he will bring it up, or maybe she’ll talk to my mom abt it, maybe she will try to undermine me and argue that the abuse wasn’t as bad as im making it out to be. maybe my biggest fear will become a reality. maybe she really will win them over, and even after opening up abt the experience it’ll turn out to not even make a difference and i’ll be alone and disapproved of again for being weak and childish and now, also vengeful for trying to put the blame on her. i really dont know how things will turn out. but at least tonight i did a pretty good job yknow.

#more personal rambling. obv feel free to skip and keep yr dash experience light hearted like i get that completely

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aisu-zeilia · 6 years

Text

To Allure and Impede

SUMMARY: Marvin Lockens was fifteen when he was brought under Jameson Jackson’s wing and first started learning how to control and use his magic. Since then, he’s met Henrik Schneeplestein, the Castle’s doctor and his father figure, Chase Brody, the Castle’s Third in Command and best archer around, Jackie Bullmon, the Second in Command and Head Guard who’s always wearing red, and Sean McLoughlin, the King Himself, as well as various others. Yet, despite being with them for more than four years and proving to be a skilled mage, they all still treated him like the shy child they first met. And he was tired of it. What happens when he meets a stranger in the woods, who gives him cards to hand out and disappears into the shadows? What happens when he hides it from everyone? What happens at the Masquerade?

W̙͍̠̿̄͘h̬̲͇̻͎̍a̖̣͇̯͌̈͆ͯ̒͊̿t͇̗̖͕̻̽̄̑ ͚̼̜̪̥͎ͪͬ͊ͦͫ̉̚H̻̯͈͎͇͎͇ͣͣ͛͛ͣ̇ã̠̼̝̖̫̌̽ͯ̍̑p̝̌̐̿̔ͩͤṗ̷̻̳ͤ̂͋ͬ̋͒e̫̪̣̽̐ń͓͚̞͈̲̯͡s̶̀̐͋͂̈?̥̖͊͘

Chapter 3 Words: 1439 Warnings: Mental Breakdown, vague mentions of abuse, self deprecating talk A/N: OOOOHHHHHHHH BOY YALL ARE GONNA MURDER ME FOR THIS CHAPTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Not gonna lie i hurt myself writing this. But hey, I TRIED ADDING FLUFF and ended up adding angst too im SORRY. Anyways, all chapters arw under #TAI AU

and btw, thank my beta readers @lin-apples and @jackjames-exe as per usual

previous // next

Inhale. Exhale. In. Out. Left. Right. Left. Right. Blink. Keep running. Dont look back.

they don't care. They can do better. They dont need you. They'll throw you out too.

Marvin kept running. He ignored the branches hitting his face. Ignored the searing pain in his chest. Ignored the cold, the tears in his clothes. Run away from them. Run away from those thoughts. Don't think. Focus on running. Don't let them find you. Hide. Don't disappoint them.

He didn't know when he reached the familiar house, nor how. All he knew was that one moment he was tearing through the mud, falling, running. The next, hes shivering, wet from tripping into the small stream, knocking on the dark wood door.

A woman opened the door, wavy red hair messy and tied back. She blinked for a few moments, before registering how the mage apprentice in front of her looked. "...Marvin? Marvin, hon, what happened?!" She exclaimed, cupping his face and pushing his green hair away from his eyes. "Come in, come in!"

"You...what happened hon? You're covered in dirt and you're wet, Lucy can you start the fire?" She pulled him inside, already working to remove the wet articles of clothing. "Lets get you warmed up so you dont get pneumonia or hypothermia, ok?" Lucy, who Marvin remembers seeing with Henrik and Marissa, had brought over a quilt and handed it to her mother. She promptly wrapped him up, pulling him to the fire. "Come here, tell me what happened. Talk to me."

Marvin was tearing up, shivering and curling close to the mother figure. Everything in his mind was beginning to settle in, and it was terrifying him. But Marissa didn't push, just held him while Lucy wrapped around his waist. ".....it's okay hon, you're alright...you're safe....."

The dam broke, and suddenly he was clinging to her, sobbing, letting everything spill from his lips. Telling her about the woods, the mystery person, the cards. He told her about the ride home, the lies he told, the outburst. He told her about how he snapped, how he ran from them, how he ran away from the castle. He told her about how he was scared and didnt know why, how he was terrified.

The entire time, she listened. She held him close, carding a hand through his green hair. She didn't let go. Lucy had left, most likely to retrieve something to help comfort the apprentice.

" .....oh hon....." Marissa breathed, seeming to hold him even closer than before. "i won't tell Henrik about this, or Jamie. But i do advise you to give those cards away and get rid of them." A whine escaped Marvin's lips. He didnt want to confront them, not now. There was too much fear, too much tension.

Marissa seemed to sense this. "It doesn't have to be immediately, just soon, alright? Now, Henrik isn't due home any time soon, with the masquerade coming up. And I'm not telling anyone about you being here, so if you want to stay for a few days you go ahead. But for now, lets get you cleaned up." The ginger helped him up, guiding him to the guest room. She chuckled, seeing a bunch of her daughter's stuffed animals being spread over the bed. Even Marvin smiled softly at the sight, the 10-year-old's attempt at cheering him up warming his heart.

"There's clothes on the bed. If you need anything either come get me or tell Luce to come get me, okay?" Marissa murmured. "My room is right down the hall."

Marvin was torn. On one hand, he wanted to go in that room and disappear forever. On the other hand, he wanted, no, needed comfort. He needed to be held, to be told it was alright. He needed to feel safe.

He fell onto his knees, wrapping his arms around Marissa. She made a small noise of surprise, but held him tight. It didn't matter that Marvin was an adult, it didn't matter that it had been years since he was held like this. No, right now it was a mother, holding the scared fourteen year old child that was covered in scars and left on the streets to die, all because he had abilities that were feared. All because he didn't know control yet.

She guided him to the bed carefully, turning around only to let him change into more dry clothing, and tucked him in. At one point, Lucy had joined them, curling up next to Marvin. Marissa had smiled, and stayed with them. She hummed a lullaby, only stopping when they were both asleep. Carefully, she took off the mask that hid his scars, and set it on the nightstand.

She smiled, pressing a kiss to both Marvin and Lucy's foreheads. While Marvin was only a little more than ten years younger than her, and found on the streets, he was her child. And just because he was nineteen, that made no difference to her.

Marissa got up, blowing out all but one of the candles. She quietly walked to the door, taking one last glance at the pair.

"Sweet dreams Marvin, Lucy" she murmured, shutting the door.

"You don't really believe her, don't you?"

Marvin whirled around, seeing the figure of the person in the woods. Around him, there was nothing but a black void. It seemed to be endless, not an ounce of light anywhere. And in the center of it all was a dark silhouette of a person, covered by a cloak. Though, he could see the green eyes underneath the hood, slitted like a cat's.

"You think that you can stay away for a day or two, and everything will be alright?" The male continued, steadily approaching the mage. "You think it will be normal? News flash, Marvin, it won't be! They'll use this against you. Call you a child, make choices for you. Never give you your freedom."

"....whst do I do?" Marvin looked down, defeated. Whoever he was....he was right. They would see him as the baby, the child that was brought to Jameson four years ago. Nothing more.

The figure grinned. " Perform. Pass out the cards. Make yourself known. If everyone loves you, it will be easier for you to have the freedom you crave. The freedom you NEED. The freedom they won't give you."

The world seemed to grow darker, and Marvin could tell he was waking up. "And one more thing. Don't tell her about this. In fact, don't tell anyone." His voice echoed, before the figure surrounded by darkness disappeared from his vision.

"-vie! Marvie!"

Marvin shot up, breathing heavily. He was slightly ahaking, and covered in a cold sweat. Light peeked in from behind the curtains, and a candle close to dying sat on the dresser.

He jumped, feeling hands wrap around his waist. It was Lucy, hair messed up and looking worried for the older male. "....you were shaking and saying things...." She murmured, sounding concerned and scared. Marvin was like her older brother, afterall. And to see him vulnerable....it was scary to see those who are like protectors break.

Marvin breathed a sigh of relief, pulling her in for a proper hug. "Shh, its okay....I'm alright, see? Just a bad dream." He murmured. He was well aware that later he would be handing out cards, giving everyone a hint of magic in their lives. But for now, it felt like his heart was saying that it was best to stay and be a protective older brother. And so he would listen, at least for a little while.

Jameson was pacing. He had hardly any sleep, save for when he dozed off for just over two hours at his desk. So far no one had found him. Jack had to stay in the castle, so he tried to help search in discreet ways. Henrik had stayed as wel, in case Marvin returned or was brought back injured. Chase had taken his horse and combed through the woods, finding nothing but a couple scraps of material too close to the castle to help. Jackie had taken to the streets, having no luck. He even tried Marissa and Henrik's house, but she denied him ever coming by.

To say he was stressed was an understatement. He was filled with concern, worried about Marvin. It was his fault, he was the one who snapped. And, according to Henrik and Chase, he had been acting weird all day. Yet he never noticed it.

Jameson sat down in his chair, running a hand through his hair and leaning back.

He just hoped Marvin was okay.

WHOOOOOOO okay just a heads up:

Marissa is Henrik's wife. We dont have a canon name for her or her child's canon name/gender. All we know is that Henrik jas a wife and kids, and I had a friend name her. She found Marvin on the street, face scarred up and just overall beaten up. She took him in for just over a year, then he started going with Henrik to the castle to be taught by Jameson. Hee would always go home with Henrik tho.

now you know.

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #dr schneeplestein #jacksepticegos #Antisepticeye #TAI AU

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haepipillbud · 3 years

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no one understands...

Honestly I myself think it’s petty..

But I haven’t fully recovered from our last.. “Exes” convo. I’m still a little mad about it.

I told myself I’ll take the week to distract myself and get mentally prepared for our convo but when it was finally time, I had so much to say but you straight up said you feel better and that you decided not to care about it anymore.

I got mad again. I felt like that means you didn’t care about me too. You’re the one who said you wanted to talk because you’re confused but apparently you worked it out yourself too.

I told our friend that I tried to talk to you and that it didn’t happen because it looked like you didn’t want to. I said maybe I shouldn't because idk. I’m scared to talk to you now. She said it’s time to move on.

Ok maybe I do look like I haven’t moved on but not from us but from our conversation.

She also said this doesn’t deserve my time and effort. To see my worth. I DID see it, that’s why I’m mad. I knew I was probably too much for you. You knew that but you didn’t say shit!

I guess that’s how boys really are. You worry about something then decide not to care about it the next. You get over it so easily! I don’t understand.

Maybe I should take a break from this. From feeling this way. From thinking that this is my fault and I’m so not over it that I wanna keep thinking about it because NOTHING is clear to me now!

I don’t understand anymore how we broke up, how you fell out of love, how you just got through it so easily, how it seemed like what we had didn’t mean anything to you, maybe I didn’t mean anything to you.

Are you already over me? I bet. Do you ever feel like trying again? I’m sure you don’t. Did you miss me? Heck no. Are you ok? Of course you are. Was there something you regret? Probably but you’re over it now. Why didn’t you tell me that you felt that way? Because you’re dumb. What could I have done differently? I shouldn’t even get to this because nothing should be my fault. Do you have anything else to say to me? I’m sure nothing.

Honestly, I think no one understand that I need to hear these from you directly. I dont hear anyone telling me “force him!” “get it out of him!” “get the closure who cares if he’s over it you’re bringing it back because you need to clear it out!” No one understands that every time it hits me, I realize nothing I did was wrong even if this whole time I think it was. No one understands that you’re moving on from this so fast that I’m not getting the mentality I need to do the same.

No one understands that I want you to grieve over me for a bit. For losing me. Because before you kept saying you’re lucky to have me and that you’ll try your best to keep me. To love me. Then in a span of a month it’s all gone? WTF Who does that? You made me feel SO much and so good and special and all of a sudden you did a full 180 and I can’t catch up again! I don’t understand how you could just fall out of love for me so easily that’s why I think it’s something I did!

I never cared if you’re not enough I didn’t expect SO much from you

What sucks is I like how we are now. Just friends. Honestly. But I can’t stop it when I suddenly dream about you or when I’m quiet and “chillin” like you suggest then everything hits me again and my mood goes from 100-0.

I wrote a note on stuff I wanted to ask and say that night. I didn’t even open the damn thing.

One is honestly, I don’t think you really liked me. Even loved me. You liked the idea and you liked being with me I think. The energy I give off to you is something you like. I’m still hurt when you said that us as a couple is weird so everytime you bring up my age triggers me and I genuinely get annoyed and sad.

Two, I was hopeful that maybe we can try again in the far future but now.. I think we won’t really ever cross paths as lovers. But my feelings differ everyday. Sometimes I think we can, mostly I don’t.

Three, if you want me to be over you have to accept that I’m close and touchy with friends. That’s just how I am.

Last, everytime you say that something I do is weird. I’m GENUINELY hurt. It triggers everything I doubt about myself. Me being too much for someone etc.

Maybe I should cut off ties. With everyone for a bit. Not go “M” mode (like one of our friends) but at least lessen it.

It’s going to crush me but if that’s how it should be. Then so be it.

And to think I was excited about our possible next “sneak out” and we order food.

But honestly tho… doing this never really lasts for me. We’ll see how long I can last this time..

Guess it didn’t last...

Thinking about it now. I realized that you made me feel SO MUCH. You made me feel everything I’ve always wanted to feel ALL MY LIFE and you took that away from me sO FAST that it felt so ingenuine and in the end you didn’t care. It’s like we never happened. How could you say I mean so much to you, that you’re so lucky to have me, that I made you so happy then say you give up in the end? I finally had what I wanted in a relationship and you made it bad for me. I was hopeful for a simple, small relationship and you RUINED that for me. How could you say you loved me then you SNAP and it’s OVER?? What was I to you?

I’m mad again. I’m mad.

I know my worth now.

I won’t waste my time anymore hoping for someone like you again.

I’ll be hurting alone and it’s kinda your fault.

I’m keeping this ALL to myself because no one ever understands.

Not even you.

#diary #journal #personal #ig im not over completely

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wannabeollg · 6 years

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so this is basically my mood. its been my mood for a really long time:( I'm not typing this attention from all 11 of my followers💀 I'm typing this bc I have to get it out. journaling isn't enough. so basically, since freshman year, I've gone through bouts of some seriousness sadness. I dont want to say depression bc I wasn't diagnosed with it, but for all I know I am... anyways, I'm just sad. I was put in alternative school for a little bit because I didn't something totally stupid but I learned my lesson. 6 weeks away from my friends was a good punishment. anyways, I went back to regular school on Jan. 8... I was excited to see all my friends but they didn't really share quite the same enthusiasm. I shrugged it off.. I mean I have classes with them so not a big deal, right? I'd get to sit with them during class. we could gab and catch up then.... but it didn't really turn out that way. some people that I thought were some of my closest friends, barely talk to me now. maybe its bc I was gone for basically 2 months, and we just drifted apart from each other. I'm starting to get closer to the person that I considered my first friend at my new school after I moved, again. that does make me happy. I've missed her so much. but I've also gone thru some other shit. in July 2017, my best friend decided to cut ties with me a week before school was to start up again. she gave me no explanation. it hurt. it hurt so much. my boyfriend had just broken up with me exactly a week before, and i didnt even bat an eyelash... but when she told me she thought itd be best if we just werent friends anymore, i froze. i felt numb. she was my best friend. it was supposed to be us against the world... i guess not. i cried a lot. i cried for the first time in months. i had been doing pretty okay, mental health-wise, and then she just randomly did that...and now, almost half a year later, it still hurts. I didn't get closure and probably won't, now. but also, in march 2017, I got drunk for the first time. the boy that had broken my little sophomore heart, was at the same get together I was. it was at my friends house and he was her brothers friend... of course he was going to be there. but anyways, I got drunk. I got sad bc me and him were joking around and acting like pals, but we were intoxicated so it made sense. anyways, I quietly got upset bc I realized. how much things had changed between us. I mean, we were juniors in high school and we went almost that entire year without talking to each other. we were such good friends and then he ditched me for his new gf... he did me dirty but I still wanted him- how pathetic. anyways, I'm off topic so at the party, I, drunkenly, confronted him about it and I cried (*facepalms*). he said we were still friends, but were not. its not the same. we just go to the same school and maybe have a few classes together?? its not the same. but anyways, i told him everything that i had been thinking for that past year, and i got my closure...and I didn't want to admit it back then because how could I have known? I had no experience. I didn't know what it felt like... but now, I'm pretty sure I loved him. and I think a part of me still does, so much for that closure. so yeah, I think I'm still in love with the boy who left me for another girl, even after I told him I liked him and he told me he liked me back. that's what fucked me up the most. that little bit of hope fucked me up. and now we're gonna graduate in may and I won't see him probably ever again. we're both going in different directions. he's going into the airforce and I'm going into the army and he's still with that bitch lmao jk she's not a bitch but I have a strong distaste for her since January 2016. ever since then, I pretty much figured I wouldn't ever have a bf during hs. I briefly had one over summer 2017, but it was more of a fling. and then the guy that I had liked for a short time, asked me out in august 2017.... and I wanted so badly to say yes, because yes! he's cute and ambitious!! but, he has a kid. a whole baby momma who is also in my grade. I couldn't. I wanted so badly to say yes. I wanted to kiss him on the mouth and hold hands with him and just say yes! but I didn't... later in September, a little scandal broke that I was trying to break up the lovely couple... which I wasn't.... I mean it wasn't my fault that he caught feelings.... but yep so that happened.. I think those were the main parts of 2017 tbh. sorry, I'm just blabbering on, but its nice to get this out... so imma continue not tryna sound conceited, but i think I'm easily liked... like whats not to like about me? I'm smart, athletic, funny, and not ugly. maybe I'm on the chubbier side, but I'm not pushing the limits by any means. and I know guys have had "crushes" on me. I mean 4 guys have told me that the like[d] me in my entire lifetime, that plus I can sorta tell when a guy dropping hints. so its not like I'm driving boys away. I've had one boyfriend, which was the fling so I barely consider him an actual relationship but we did make it official so ig I have to claim him... but anyways, ig no one wants me?? that worries me. I'm gonna graduate and go into the real world soon with no relationship experience other than how to make out (not even French kiss tho!!!) and its been awhile since that so idek if ik how to do that anymore. (btw I had my first kiss with fling-boy. April 2017, just a few days before my 17th birthday, so you can understand that just about only 3 months of sucking face only every other weekend is not a enough time to become an expert).... so yep. no experience, at all. I'm still a virgin too. bro I gtg. jk, I want my first time to be meaningful, so I'm not putting out to just any random guy.... but okay thats all I've been thinking about lately.. its a lot I know, but eh... I'm still feeling x( but maybe just a little less

#doodlepost #tumblr doodles #draw me

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shadowingthemoonlight · 7 years

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SNOW pt.3

summary: after the accident, you were told your memories would come back to you, but it had been 3 years and you still didn’t know who you really were. Bucky remembers you, you were one of the things he clearly remembered but when he approached you and the life that had once flourished in your eyes was gone, as with the memory of him, was it worth the risk of telling you?

Pairing: buckyxreader + the Avengers

cher=snow

снежинка=snowflake

italics=memories bold=thoughts/dreams

word count: 1.9k

warnings: angst, fluff, fear, blood

PART 2 PART 1

holding his breath whilst his eyes examined the brown paper folder which contents seemed far too dense, his pupils lingered upon the letters which settled top left of the cover. his thumb traced the familiar name followed by the softening of eyes as the name its self-created warmth at such little contact. bucky knew that what lied beneath the cover of the folder, submerged in the pages would not only hold fragments of his haunted past but additionally hers, bringing uncertainty to the desire to open the folder completely. releasing his doubt through the exhale of his lungs, his fingertips found the paper clip which clung to the abundance of files and brought the item into the sunlight. tied to the briefing of his former comrade was 2 images of (y/n) from a time before and after he had met her. in the first she looked so young and radiant, her skin glowed followed by a joyous smile. The right image, however, made Bucky’s nerves crawl as the ghostly eyes that looked into the lens were not only laced with light bruising but had lost all sense of life, followed by a vanished smile. two instructors stood beside her with hands snaked around her forearm holding her tightly in place with one being a woman, whose blond hair fell just above her shoulder and the other, unfamiliar. “Tony found it with all the other hard copies of the Hydra information that he had gathered over the years, didn’t take him too long to dig back up as he knew where to look this time” Steve announced drawing Bucky attention away from the images, who responded with a confused look. “Natasha found one a while back about you” Steve reassured with a smile. “how long until we reach our destination?” Bucky questioned uneased at how the quinjet was flying. “ a couple more miles west, we’ll have to land quite a bit from the building as the area is used by the public, the surrounding forest will help cover us though.” steve stated whilst gesturing his hands over the screen that mapped out the area. While Steve continued to go over the mission bucky felt various emotions emerging from the files in his hands, which wasn’t practical when breaking into a modern Hydra base so he decided to not tread any deeper into them, and set the folder down without giving it another thought. “Do you think they have her?” gulped Bucky hearing the worry in his voice cut the air. “I can’t be sure buck, we’ve been monitoring this site for quite some time but it is suspicious that activity has picked up since you ran into her.” Bucky longed to see her again, that was certain, but prayed if she was somewhere in the building that she would be alive as the guilt began to set in that this could all be his fault.

harsh light clawed at your closed eyelids bringing awareness to the heaviness of your body and dazed mind. trying to raise your eyes was a challenge in its self-most mornings yet the disorientated state which you were in as you realised your body was seated up right, cause your eyelids to lurch open. bringing in your surrounds became difficult as the white walls reflected the harsh light provoking you to squint but in a few moments the light began to settle, and a new worry set in. regaining body strength you felt the grim pull of leather restraints embracing your thighs, shins, ankles and unsettling as it was, it wasn’t something which felt new. lowering your head the skin of your neck came in contact with an inhuman collar restraining you from much movement at all, and when you tried to bring your fingertips towards your throat, a severe pain plunged your wrists as the unknown cuffs tightened as you pulled cutting deeper into the already wounded flesh.

“she’s awake” echoed a male voice followed by heels clicking across the stone ground, every step making the beat of your heart slightly increase. you felt the needle before you saw it, the warm hum of chemicals flooding the skin of your shoulder. “I see you like drugging people” snarling as the familiar face of the woman appeared in front of you, taunting the syringe as tho it was a trophy. “That wasn’t a drug sweety the first one was but this"looking at the small amount of liquid which was left “this is a cure! I’m only replacing what we once took from you” and with the turn of her heel, she strutted away with the sounds of her footsteps descending rocking you into another unwanted sleep.

looking down the scope of his rifle, Bucky mapped out the area, counting how many guards were surrounding the building while Steve used a device which scanned the building from afar and created a 3D hologram of the building, inside and out. “there’s 5 towards us, 2 parallel us and 1 sniper up top” Bucky confirmed into hîs head piece waiting for steves reply. “You take out the sniper and the two either side of us while ill deal with the others.” “yes cap.” 3 gun shots pierced the air, alerting the other 5 on the ground to brace themselves, and that’s what they tried to do but Steve and his shield were too quick, and their unconscious bodies littered the ground. The two men sprinted towards the double doors which now flung open as more troops tumbled out towards them, taking the bullets bucky fired and the shield in which Steve threw. “There are multiple holding cells underground, it’s likely that she could be down there” stated Steve.

a calming tune of a song entered your mind, filling you up with warmth and peace as the melody sounded so periodic.

oh my precious girl if you ever become afraid I’m with you in this necklace it will keep the monsters at bay

“keep it close to you (y/n) always keep it close” “yes mom”

you thrashed against your restraints as memory after memory flooded back with the anger acting as fuel, but only cutting and bruising yourself even more than you already were. the 3 vacant years of your life that were spent not knowing anything, we’re now starting to remember it all. you remembered what they took What they did and who he was. “you have some guests” spoke the woman who stood at the door with her hand resting upon the handle. “No, please no Adeline” you begged her as you recognized the look on her face. Adeline grasped the handle of the door, and escorted in were 4 figures, each face covered by a bag. “The car crash, it is such a common death” smirked Adeline and she wandered over towards you and crouched down undoing the leather around your ankles. “can you remember anything about it?” she asked while working her way up, undoing the cuffs around your wrists. staring blankly at her, she pulled you to your feet using the collar still clasped around your throat. you stood helplessly as two men aimed their guns at you and watched as she fished into her blouse pocket and revealed a silver chain wrapped around her fingers. “there never was a car crash (y/n)” Adeline slowly spoke drawing each word out and finishing the sentence by letting the chain sway in her hand. “Where did u get that?!” you stuttered while staring at the chain witch ended with a dainty snowflake. all Adeline did was laugh at your question and brought her attention to the 4 masked figures in the room. “you know what kind death isn’t as common these days?” she grimly put as she removed the first bag whilst remaining eye contact with you the entire time. “is the death, at the hands of their own daughter” stepping aside, the unmasked figure raised there head leaving you in complete shock, you knew what was about to happen and moments later a handgun played in your right hand. “Why don’t you raise the gun, and say hello to your mother” Adeline cackled while ripping the other 3 remaining bags revelling your father, younger sister and brother. “do i have to say the words cher?” Adeline mocked knowing you had no choice in the matter. You tore your eyes away from where your family stood, not wanting to see the faces that they possessed. “Look at your mother” she screamed with annoyance and as you followed her command a single tear rolled down your cheek. holding the pendant a final smile left Adelines face as she parted her lips to speak “снежинка.”

bucky heart raced as they inched closer and closer towards the last interrogation room. “Steve!” Bucky shouted “I just heard 2 gunshots from inside” They both sprinted towards the door and with another gunshot sounding from inside, they both break through the door. the horrors of the scene which they had just fallen into were all too familiar to Bucky. There stood Adeline whose gaze was fixed on (y/n), and there she stood without any will of her own, the look of death glistening in her eyes as she held her handgun with a finger wrapped around the trigger. 3 bodies already were bleeding out, two of which were no older than 12. “oh my precious girl if you ever become afraid I’m with you in this necklace it will keep the monsters at bay” the woman hummed who had the gun pointed towards her head.

“but if the necklace shall fall dont threat for I will always be in a place called your heart where my love for you thrives in harmony“sobbed (y/n) whose steady hand was now shaking.

“снежинка” the final shell from her handgun fell towards the ground and he watched her body became limp as the handgun cascaded down. her knees buckled beneath her own weight followed by the cries as she reached for the woman. “it’s ok mom, everything going to be ok” she whispered trying to stop the bleeding, but Bucky watched her face turn pale as she saw the other 3 bodies that had fallen at her hands. “what have i done.”

she wispiered raising her head towards him

“what have i done.”

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky one shot #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers #steve x reader #steve x bucky

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starlightbarbie · 7 years

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(don’t reblog this post if you’re not one of my friends talking to me)

okay, you know, i changed my mind? i’m cleaning house today, airing out laundry, so why not do the same emotionally?

it’s been weighing on me too long and making me feel like a bad person but i’ve been so terrified of burning bridges that i never want to admit when i have a different opinion social-justice/spiritual-wise than my friends on here.

bc a lot of people seem to have the attitude that having a different political opinion than someone means you literally can’t interact with them again or continue being friends.

which i understand, it’s an online safe space and you want to surround yourself with like-minded people so you can enjoy your time away from the real-life people whose opinions you’re stuck around. tumblr is kind of the only place you CAN talk to ppl about lgbt, race, gender, etc issues and avoid other types of ppl.

but it just seems so, in a way, divisive and un-productive to alienate people who you enjoy talking to and being friends with, who share all of your political, social justice beliefs except ONE or TWO....just because their ideology doesn’t match perfectly with yours.

especially when they’ve been respecting your opinions the entire friendship and there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to continue talking just without discussing those topics you’ve never discussed in the first place because they’ve been silent about them...

so maybe i’m afraid of all my friends finally learning my two differing opinions and immediately going “wow youre a bigot we cant be friends” and maybe thats presumptive and wrong but i can’t help my instinctual worries, you know? am i putting up too much self-defense here??

i hope i dont sound attack-y which i’m worried i might because whenever i get ranty....but whatever, this is all just MY opinion and if you read it i hope you can understand where im coming from and then, take from it what you will.

.hhmm. enough stalling...

ive never been “anti” otherkin--as i understand it’s a spiritual belief for some and a coping mechanism for others, and there’s no reason for me to bash that or find any fault with people who just feel a connection to a certain animal or whatever. that’s been happening for all of human existence, there are religions which believe in reincarnation, and i’m agnostic anyways.

i wasn’t raised religious, tho my mom was raised catholic--she wanted my sister and i to come to god on our own terms in our own time instead of being brainwashed by a church since babyhood. so far it just made us very secular. but i’ve had jewish, christian, muslim friends, and never disrespect anyone’s spiritual beliefs. i do preach separation of church and state and hold the political views that come with that, but i believe in freedom to express religion as long as it doesn’t infringe on another human’s rights.

but when it goes past otherkin...people identifying as animals, plants, and galaxies, that doesn’t harm anything--but when it comes to fictionkin and factkin it makes me very uncomfortable.

it feels extremely like theft of intellectual property and theft of identity. factkin, i have never actually seen a person identifying as, just people having “discourse” over, so i dont know if its even real but if it is...i dont even know if i have to argue against it, it’s literally pretending to be another person who is alive?? and is themselves. it’s way beyond wrong to pretend to actually be a famous person, and it is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. it could actually really scare or harm that person they’re pretending to be.

fictionkin is something i have seen a LOT and have friends who id that way, so that’s i guess the big topic here. no problem with otherkin, no one i know is factkin, but fictionkin....

i understand where it would come in as a coping mechanism, i really do. i can relate. i have characters that i’m very attached to, that i relate to very much, that i look up to and want to emulate. some of them i even feel unreasonably possessive over, like “well that’s my favorite character, they can’t be your favorite character if they’re already mine” which probably comes in to play with fictionkin feeling like they ARE the character so nobody else can be the character.

but the thing is, i can’t help but to feel like it’s intellectual property being stolen. it’s one thing to roleplay, to say “hey i know i dont own this character but i’m gonna pretend to be them and explore different scenarios.” the same for cosplaying or writing fanfiction and making fan art. using characters somebody else created to INSPIRE your own art is all fun and games as long as you dont claim to own any of the copyrighted materials.

claiming to BE the fictional character is totally claiming to own it. not legally obviously, i don’t think any fictionkin think they legally have rights to their kin, but definitely a huge mark of ownership to say “This is Me.”

they didn’t create that character. they didn’t spend hours, days, months, pouring their heart soul sweat blood and tears into bringing that character to life. the writer/artist did. when you write, you put literally all of yourself into your characters. every bit of it comes from your thoughts, your unique worldview, the things you’ve seen and learned all mixed together and spat out in a new form. it all comes from the mind of the character’s creator. in a way, their characters are each, them, or have their blood running through their metaphorical veins.

i am PASSIONATE about writing.

claiming to BE that character, that a writer put so much of themselves into, is almost like claiming to be that writer too. at least like carving out a piece of their mind and saying “this is mine, it came from my life in another universe. it doesn’t belong to you. it’s not a unique pattern of emotions and ideas and creativity that you spent years developing. it’s just me from another universe, what a coincidence, right?”

it’s so offensive to steal another person’s hard work like that. and tumblr--tumblr--is supposed to be this place where people care about art theft and crediting the owners matters? and that makes me very, very uncomfortable as an aspiring writer who has my own original characters developing in my head.

important side note: i dont think you can say that fictionkin doesnt actually hurt anyone the way factkin obviously would. i have seen personal accounts from people on tumblr that said people were tagging their ocs/self portraits as kin, or telling them that they were kin with their ocs and they were writing the story wrong in some way, and they were very distressed by it.

so. i have never said anything because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and i dont want to lose friends, but i also have to be honest and say what i believe if i want to respect myself as a person. so that’s what i believe.

and i don’t think it’s a necessary course of action to cut off ties with someone because they dont believe in fictionkin. its like stopping being friends with someone because they have a different religion than you. i’ve had christian, jewish and muslim friends and as i said, i’m non-religious.

i understand that maybe identifying as a character is more tied with your personal identity than your religious identity, so it’s natural you would feel like people should accept that that character is part of your personality--but please understand that i can accept that there are aspects of all those characters in you and that you relate to them, without expecting me to believe that infinite universes AND reincarnation across those universes exist, which is more than any of my religious friends have asked of me. (ie no one has tried to convert me to their personal spiritual beliefs)

so that said, idk if anyone read all of this, but if you want to stop being my friend over it i wont try to make you change your mind. if youre uncomfortable talking to me after this, its fine and i wont push it. i gave my reasoning for why im willing to stay friends and put our different beliefs aside so know that youre always welcome in my life if you want to be, but i wont force you if you dont.

the next one is worse. stay tuned.

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