#that's now how you pronounce hiraeth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

an-upset-librarian · 5 years

Text

Litost (Czech): “A state of torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.”

Here’s another part of my Elriel series, which you can now find here on my AO3. This is quickly turning into a slow burn series, but I can’t control myself. They’re just so perfect. I hope you enjoy and please don’t forget to let me know what you think!

Hiraeth Saudade

Elain woke coated in a slimy layer of cold sweat with the echo of a scream in her throat. Gasping, she threw her bedsheets as far away as she could and sat up, her hands shaking. She rose to her feet, wobbling, and stumbled over to the bathroom connected to her room. Panting, she turned on the faucet and doused her face and neck with the blessedly cold water.

Breathing heavily, she kept her eyes closed as the droplets of water rolled down her skin and slowly, she felt her heart rate return to normal. She stared into the mirror, at her pale skin and the shadows underneath her eyes, a wave of irritation washing through her at the reflection that stared back at her. The pointed tips of her ears peeked out from under her tangled blonde hair, reminding her of the body she could never get used to. She wasn’t even sure how strong she was anymore. She wasn’t as physically strong as Feyre or any of the Illyrian males, but she’d caught herself accidentally crushing teacups and crumbling stone under her fae fingers.

She only remembered the barest impressions of her dream, like the beginning strokes of a painting giving an idea to the canvas, but not a concrete image for anyone else to understand. She was drowning in the cauldron, watching her father die and watching her sisters die, but that was all Elain could remember of the nightmare.

More than she wanted to remember.

Her body still shuddered intermittently, nausea curling in her gut and crawling up her throat. Elain just stood, leaning against the bathroom sink, and tried to regain control. She didn’t think she would be getting any more sleep tonight.

Instead of weeping in her bathroom or staring blankly at the walls of her room, Elain decided to go out to her new garden of night blooming flowers and plant their seeds under the light of the moon with the stars as her only companions. Hopefully the gorgeous night sky would help bring her mind some peace.

It wasn’t called the Night Court for nothing. The night sky was always blooming with swirls of blue and purple mixing in with the blackness of the night, millions of stars peeking through the night sky. The moon was just a sliver that night, a smile curling in the sky and soothing her tormented mind. Elain let out a relieved breath as she stepped out into her garden, her feet instinctively taking her past the rows and rows of vegetables to the newest plot she was creating.

A section to honor the Night Court, her sister’s home. She knelt and began working her hands into the soil, a pleased hum rumbling in her chest as the warm soil touched her skin. She could always find comfort in the earth, in plant life. Ever since she was young, and her family lived in a large estate, she would tend to her own idea of a garden. Even when they had nothing and lived in poverty she tried to maintain a garden. It might not have been enough to repay Feyre for her sacrifices, but it was all she could do.

Soon Elain felt the residual fear from her nightmare slowly fade away as she tended to the delicate flowers Rhys brought. If she remembered right, there was a type of jasmine, a fae flower she couldn’t pronounce, the Blaithoiche, and one Rhys just called ‘The Queen of the Night.’

The memory of Azriel sitting across from her and watching as she dumped soil into the plot, the barest hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips when she spilled soil all over her skirt, filled her head and she fought off a blush as her heart skipped a beat.

Azriel was just being nice to her, helping her transition into her new life in Velaris. It was his job. Yet, she still found herself growing attached to the quiet spymaster and his curling shadows. Sometimes she swore she saw him watch her, something dark and primal swirling in his eyes. Perhaps in another life, where she wasn’t mated to a stranger she wanted nothing to do with, they could have been something together.

But it was foolish to project her lonely heart onto him. Foolish and naïve.

Elain turned her attention back to the soil and the saplings she carefully planted, using only the light of the stars to guide her. Time passed, and Elain found peace as she worked, the inner clockwork of her mind ticking steadily as she focused. She could feel the barest brush of a vision against her mind, slowly trying to worm its way into her consciousness and torment her.

But she was used to pushing the power down into a small corner of her mind. She hadn’t had a vision in weeks, and she wanted it to stay that way.

It was when she was nearly finished, as the moon crested high above her, that she noticed another presence enter her garden. She gripped the trowel tight enough to turn her knuckles bone white as she turned, eyes scanning through the stalks and leaves. Her fae eyesight let her garden in the darkest night with little trouble, but even she could not see the other person in her garden.

“Who’s there?” She asked, ashamed of the wobble in her voice. The handle of the trowel was burning hot in her palm, her knuckles turning white.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Azriel’s low voice echoed from behind her. Whirling around, Elain felt her body relax as she saw the spymaster hiding in the shadows of the greenhouse, his blue siphons gleaming in the starlight.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said, her voice a breathless whisper. Her hand shook as she set the trowel down on the wall of the plot.

“Can’t sleep?” Azriel asked, walking closer, the starlight revealing his calm features. Elain hoped he couldn’t see the blush staining her cheeks in the dark as he approached. Azriel was wearing his fighting leathers and they emphasized his muscular form. His wings mere shadows at his back in the night and he wore two siphons on his shoulders in addition to the usual two on his hands. Curious, she asked, “Where did you go?”

He stared at her, his expression unreadable, with his wings folded tightly against his back. She pursed her lips and waited, knowing he was debating whether to tell her. Elain didn’t know why she even asked. She knew his position in the court demanded utmost secrecy.

“North, into the mountains,” he finally said. Elain didn’t know much about the Night Court’s politics, but she knew there was unrest in the north, among the Illyrian’s living there. The Illyrian’s whom Azriel despised. He was terrible at hiding his disdain for the culture he was born into, and from what Elain had gleaned from the scars on his hands and the quiet whispers she overheard, he hated them for a damn good reason.

“Everything go okay?” She asked and the concern was audible in her voice. She cursed herself again for her weakness. Why would he trust her with any information? She was just simple Elain. She cooked and cleaned and gardened and wasn’t to be trusted with anything too important. Elain roughly shoved the trowel into the soil, using her rising frustration to fuel her actions as she dug deeper into the plot.

“Well enough, all things considered.” Azriel’s voice moved closer, but Elain didn’t move to look at him. Her curiosity rose. While Elain was content enough, living her life as it was now, she couldn’t help but long for something more. She wanted to help her family, but she did not know how to begin.

The claws of the vision dug deeper into her mind, tearing into her consciousness and reaching deeper. Her Seer powers desperately wanted to make themselves known but with a slight wince Elain just shoved the visions back. She breathed in the cool night air, let it soothe her from the inside out.

“That’s good to hear, I suppose,” she said after a pause. She quickly finished planting the seeds and lightly patted the top layer of soil, a soft smile parting her lips as she thought about how pretty the flowers would look in full bloom under the brilliant night sky.

For a moment, she felt like herself. But that moment passed, as quickly as the wind.

She stood, brushing the dirt from her skirts, which was when she realized she was wearing only her nightgown and robe. She hadn’t bothered to change before coming outside. Blushing, Elain tightened the long silken robe around her thin form and finally looked over at Azriel.

He was standing only a few feet away, his hands folded in front of him, his eyes fixed on hers. Elain hoped he couldn’t see the pink staining her skin. Her eyes caught on his glimmering siphons, her thoughts focusing on the power they contained. She opened her mouth to say goodnight, but froze when the moonlight shifted, a beam of light falling directly on the siphon on Azriel’s right shoulder. Blue flashed, and Elain was lost to the vision that had been haunting her for weeks.

Her eyes filled with that blue light and her mind opened wide. She felt the vastness of her Sight expand impossibly as the vision took hold of her mind and soul. Short bursts of images flashed by as screaming filled her ears. The vision started to melt, morphing into an unrecognizable stream of colors and sounds.

And then Elain knew only blackness as her body gave way to unconsciousness.

***

“…hadn’t had an episode in weeks, why now?”

“…stress…delicate…”

“Let her rest.”

Elain’s mind woke before her body did, and she chose to lay with her eyes closed and body unmoving for a few moments. Her head pounded and she felt like she was going to explode from the pressure. She couldn’t hear anymore voices anymore, and it seemed as though she was alone again. The vision had faded to distant memory, though she was sure flashes would haunt her for a while.

She relished in the warmth of the sun against her skin and the softness of her bed beneath her. Slowly, Elain opened her eyes, squinting as she adjusted to the harsh sunlight streaming through her open windows.

A cool breeze wafted through the windows, the air dancing across her skin and ruffling her clothes. Elain inhaled in the refreshing air as it wafted through the room, her mind calming slightly at the fresh air.

She sat up, her head pounding and her throat achingly dry. With a slight groan, she made her way into the bathroom and gulped down the water from the faucet, not even caring how it might look. She stared into the mirror, memories of the night before swarming her thoughts. First the nightmare, then she passed out from the vision right in front of Azriel.

Her reflection was still unfamiliar. It looked like her, but not the self she had grown to know. She quickly looked away.

Her mind felt like a tangling of thorns and vines, and she was quickly being trapped between them.

And she did not know if she would survive long enough to find her way through that forest of deadly thorns before they pierced her skin and bones. Before they planted seeds of their destruction deep within herself and sprouted, eating her away from the inside out.

Elain thought of going out to her garden to help calm her mind, as it always had before, but something stopped her. She remembered her late-night talk with Azriel and how she’d so foolishly let herself be overcome by a powerful vision. He must think her weak too, just like the others. If only she could stuff that power deep down inside herself forever, but no. Her Sight came with consequences.

She still remembered the haze she was in for the first few months after being Made. Could remember how nothing made sense, how she didn’t even know if she was awake or if it was all a terrible nightmare.

But the nightmare was real. She was High Fae. Made. And there wasn’t anything to do about it.

Elain quickly bathed and changed into a fresh dress, braiding her hair and throwing it over her shoulder before venturing to the closed door lying between her and the rest of the house. She took a deep breath. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. They could probably tell she was awake already anyways, no doubt due to Azriel’s shadows or Rhys’s powers.

With a sharp nod Elain opened the door and stepped out into the hall. She already knew what the next hour was going to entail: her sister asking her about the vision, asking if she was really alright and if she needed a healer to come, and if there was anything she could do. To which Elain would answer: no, she did not remember the vision, no she did not need a healer, and no there was nothing she could do for there was nothing wrong.

Before she even got the chance to take a step towards the stairs, she nearly walked face-first into a hard chest. Elain made a surprised noise and took a step back into the doorway of her room. She looked up into concerned hazel eyes.

“Azriel, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” Elain wrung her hands together, quickly averting her gaze.

“I did not mean to startle you.” Azriel folded his hands behind his back, his wings folded tight. Elain found herself looking up at his elegant face, at the clean lines of his jaw and chin and the concerned fold of his brow. She gazed into his dark eyes and felt at a loss for words for a moment.

But then she remembered why she was so distraught in the first place. She remembered how she’d made a complete fool of herself last night in the garden, and the moment passed.

“Oh, the fault lies with me I should have been paying more attention to where I was going,” she said with a forced smile. Azriel narrowed his eyes and shadows curled up his neck, little tendrils caressing his jaw almost reverently. She had the brief thought of what it would feel like to replace those shadows with her hands.

He stared at her in silence, as if reading something she couldn’t see. She nervously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and waited, her voice stuck in her throat.

“I see you, Elain,” he said at last, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper. He stared into her, the shadows slowly receding as he spoke. “I see your strength and I see what you do for your family that they cannot understand.” The lump in her throat dropped to her stomach and she felt the exterior she was trying so hard to maintain begin to crumble under his emotional gaze.

“I see your suffering and your pain, and I want you to know that while you may feel like you are isolated and that you have to force that pain deep down into yourself, I am here for you. Whatever you need.” Azriel’s hand moved, as if to reach for hers, but his fingers curled back, and Elain felt her own fingertips twitch forwards.

Her breath caught and she felt as though the two of them were on the cusp of something. As though they were both standing at the edge of a cliff, about to dive into the unknown waters swirling below. And she thought, would it really be so terrible to leap? To take that last step and move forwards into something she couldn’t see the outcome for. Azriel was always there, always quietly supporting her from the sidelines, and Elain didn’t think she could go on without him there behind her.

“I-” she stuttered. Her hand moved on its own, reaching forwards to take his, the rough skin of his palm scratching hers. She saw his eyes widen as he grasped her hand, almost as if he didn’t expect her to touch him, as if he wasn’t worthy of being touched.

“I see you too, Azriel.” She squeezed his hand, the emotion she couldn’t put into words just yet clear in her eyes. He stared at her almost reverently. But those thorns were still growing, their seeds already planted and sprouted inside of her.

“But I am a broken thing and I don’t know who I am anymore.” She breathed. Elain released his hand and brushed past him, her heart cracking as he stood silently in her doorway, his hand still extended, palm cupped as if still holding hers.

#elriel #my writing #elriel fanfiction #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #sjmaas #elain archeron #azriel #feysand #fanfiction

53 notes · View notes

thedefinitionofbts · 6 years

Text

Hiraeth (M)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Soulmate/College Au, Light Angst, Fluff, Soft Smut

Words: 18K

Description: We are always yearning for someone, even if that person may not exist in this tangible realm.

A/N: To whomever stumbles upon this piece of my heart, I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay :)

Warnings: Mildly Explicit Sexual Content

Soulmates.

Apparently everyone had one.

And everyone would have the name of their destined other half inscribed on the tender skin of their inner wrist when they turned 18.

Everyone…minus you.

It had remained the sole most exciting thing about turning 18 ever since you learned about the exhilarating phenomenon, something you had been looking forward to more than the pile of presents you knew you would be receiving on said day, more than the “surprise party” you knew your friends would be throwing you, and more than being the center of attention for a solid few hours like all the other birthdays you’ve experienced in your life so far.

It was supposed to be one of the few things in life that are guaranteed, analogous to a type of promise which does not revolve around uncertainty or a surefire plan that is carried out without fail, an occurrence not influenced by outside forces and has been written in the stars since the beginning of time. Its assurance is assumed, which is also why its ultimate letdown was able to spur so much damage.

Because on your 18th birthday, in place of the sparkling letters of the name you could practically feel on your tongue, painted in the vibrant colors of your most beautiful dreams, you are instead left with a black horizontal line- dull, ominous, and utterly frightening.

To say you panicked right off the bat would not capture the exact sequence of events in its entirety. The truth was your mind had initially blanked, leaving your soul drained of any kind of emotion, but the more you looked at the inconceivable marking the more you became intimately aware of everything that was going wrong. The growing tension as you bit back your tears made your heart clench and writhe in the confining space barred by your ribcage. It was a sharp piercing sting that only existed in your mind, but who’s to say mental pain is inferior to physical? If anything, you’d much rather opt to take the latter.

“Maybe that is their name” Taehyung had suggested rather hopefully as he stared at the horizontal line tattooed to your wrist. “Like it’s pronounced dash or something,” He rubs his thumb over the soft marking, making a more than obvious attempt at consoling you.

“Right…” You answer dully, trying not to let your disappointment push you towards taking it out on those around you. It wasn’t their fault, and you had no right to act like a shitty person. “Because some pair of parents out there decided to ruin their child’s life from the get go.”

“Maybe it’ll show up slowly,” Jimin says, also giving you a more than obvious sympathetic look. He had always sported those naturally pouty lips, but the concern dripping from his glossy eyes is enough to patch up part of your gaping wound at the very least.

“Yeah, if anything, they’ll probably find you” Taehyung adds encouragingly.

When you were younger you had never concerned yourself over finding a lifelong partner, a significant other, or “missing half” as some people liked to call it. Heck, no one did because everyone knew that when the right time came, they’d find said person and fall in love to be united for eternity. It was the satisfaction guaranteed offer printed on every individual’s wrist upon adulthood.

Of course, that was before you found out you’d end up being an anomaly.

You reach out and press the doorbell, sensing the icy air threaten to give you frostbite the second you remove your gloves. Taehyung and Jimin had invited you over to their apartment for a small get together after finals, celebrating the start of winter break and the end of yet another hard fought semester. You wait patiently for someone to open the door, snuggling deeper into the warm space created by the woolen scarf wrapped around your neck, observing the white crystalline flakes continue to fall from the sky, drifting and dancing in mid air before making their landing on solid surfaces tied to the earth- the brick windowsill, the frozen railing of the stair steps, the untouched patches of snow on the lawn that was green some seasons ago.

“Y/N!” Jimin’s cheerful voice greets you in tandem with the heated air that escapes through the opened door.

“Hey Chim” You greet, as always, attempting to return a smile as bright and welcoming as his own.

“Come in, come in” Jimin chirps, opening the door wider and scrambling to find you a pair of fuzzy slippers to change into as you remove your snow covered boots.

“Y/N!!!” You hear the familiar baritone voice that can only be described as overly zealous, shoot from the kitchen. He was most likely cooking up a storm and quite literally too. You had heard about the last time he tried to bake a cake in which Jimin ended up calling the local fire department in fear that the whole apartment would be burned to ashes.

“Hey Tae” You return the greeting. “Need some help there?” You inquire, waiting for the male to respond and hoping he knows what he’s doing this time or at least has taken extra precaution.

“Don’t worry.” Jimin reassures. “He’s been taking lessons from Seokjin.” Jimin whispers excitedly.

You laugh. Of course, Kim Seokjin, the resident chef in your group of friends, you can still practically taste the palatable flavors of his unforgettable Kimchi stew on the tip of your tongue. Oh how good that sounded right about now.

“Is he coming?” You question, wondering why Taehyung was cooking instead of the more experienced male.

“He was busy tonight. Said he was still working on finishing up his final thesis since it’s his last year.” Jimin responds.

You sigh as you plop down on their soft couch, looking around at their cozy little apartment that had basically become your second home ever since they moved out of the dorms.

It was no surprise that Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung were destined to be together from the day they were born. After 18 years of an inseparable friendship that blossomed from their days as innocent and unassuming childhood neighbors to hidden high school lovers, no one even battered an eyelash when they saw the characters of Taehyung’s name slowly appear in sparkling coral ink on Jimin’s dainty wrist, swirling in vine-like movements of cursive script and shimmering like the fiery tail of a majestic phoenix. Likewise, Jimin’s own name in celestial blue had emerged on the lightly sun-kissed underside of Taehyung’s upper forearm at exactly the same time, brushstrokes matching the tendrils of a graceful comet soaring across the dark midnight sky, putting the glow of distant stars to shame.

They were without a doubt the definition of soulmates, the perfect combination of opposing poles creating a balanced universe, the poster children of the system the world revolved around.

You didn’t even have to try to not be jealous of them or envy what they had. It’s akin to the type of comparison that’s not even assessable because the objects of comparison were on completely different levels. Like when you don’t get frustrated when someone who is way smarter scores higher than you on an exam or when you lose to someone you didn’t even have the credentials to put yourself up against in the first place. Losing to an obviously stronger opponent is not something to be angry over, just like resenting the world you had no control over was entirely useless.

Why be bitter about something you would never even come close to having?

“So is it just the 3 of us tonight?” You query, as Jimin takes a seat across from you and offers you a drink. Having quaint little get-togethers with just a few of you closest friends had become the norm so to say. Because parties and getting dead drunk on weekends was less fun after all of you had passed the age of 21, something about taking the thrill of performing illegal acts away and being tired of the same old reckless routine.

“As far as I know” Jimin confirms, taking a sip of his beer.

“Actually, someone else is coming.” Taehyung corrects from the kitchen. He walks into the living room to place a bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“What? Who?” Jimin questions, eyes fixed on Taehyung, who was starting to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I-I..ugh, sort of invited J-Jungkook and his plus one” Taehyung swallows, waiting for the other male to respond to his revelation that you didn’t know why he was getting so nervous about.

“What the hell???” Jimin chokes on his drink making you jolt in your seat. “Jungkook as in Jeon Jungkook? Why the hell did you invite him? We barely know the guy anymore, and he clearly doesn’t share the same values as us.”

“H-he said he was tired of parties and wanted to try out more mature activities.” Taehyung explains. “And n-not in that sense, get that out of your head!” He adds quickly, face flushing a light shade of pink.

“Tae, he’s 2 years younger than all of us, he’s nowhere near mature.” Jimin argues.

“So, who is this we’re arguing over?” You butt in, unsure of what exactly was going on, or why inviting this Jungkook guy was such a big deal.

Jimin turns to you. “Someone you don’t want to get involved with” He advises. “But now that Tae has invited him over, I’m not sure you’ll be able to.” He flashes the younger male a scolding glare.

“A-actually, he…ugh… sort of invited himself” Taehyung reveals, scratching the back of his neck.

“And you agreed to it?” Jimin throws Taehyung a flabbergasted expression.

“You know I have a soft spot for the guy, and he looked so lonely.”

“Tae, Jungkook is anything but lonely.” Jimin reminds.

“He’s just misunderstood,” Taehyung counters.

“He changes girls more than he changes clothes!” Jimin retorts, a statement that makes you raise your eyebrow questioningly.

“Well technically that doesn’t say much because he likes to wear the same shirts over and over.” Taehyung fires back. “But I’m sorry ok, I can call him now and tell him something came up and-“

Jimin sighs. “It’s ok Tae, what’s done it done. Just think a little before agreeing to these things from now on.” He grabs a napkin to wipe his beer-spattered shirt.

So the part about Jungkook changing girls more than he changes clothes was evident the moment he stepped into the apartment with his arm around not one, but two gorgeous representations of the female species. The cocky look on his face screamed fuck boy, and you’d think those wouldn’t exist in a world where everyone had soulmates, but there were a good number of outliers who weren’t satisfied with one partner. The unfaithful, they were labeled, or simply those who wanted to “live young and free”.

“So much for plus one” Jimin mutters under his breath like he knew this would happen.

“Kookie!” Taehyung voice echoes through the room as he opens the door wide enough for the three people attached at the hip to walk in the doorway…barely. It was like they felt it was so necessary to sustain physical contact that they couldn’t bear to be separated for the few seconds it would take to enter one by one.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Jungkook says through gritted teeth, arms still wrapped around the two girls.

You hear Taehyung murmur a soft sorry, and return to his smiling self.

“And who are these lovely ladies?” Taehyung proceeds to inquire, directing his attention to the females next to Jungkook. The ones who were eyeing Taehyung up and down and whispering god knows what into Jungkook’s ear.

“I’m Eunbi” The taller, more cold looking one replies.

“Eunha” The shorter one adds with a cute smile.

You and Jimin stare at the awkward scene splayed in front of you, namely Taehyung running out of extra slippers and having to offer his own to Jungkook while forced to be barefoot for the remainder of the night (his Christmas themed socks were pretty adorable if that made it any better), and then Jungkook and his girls walking over to squeeze on the now cramped space that is the couch you were sitting on.

Jungkook smiles and nods his head at Jimin as he makes eye contact with the older male, a grin that to any outsider would not look threatening in the least, but you knew there was some hidden strain in the otherwise casual greeting between the two, especially as you watched Jimin smile back with a beam that, for once, doesn’t reach his eyes.

Then comes the moment his pupils made their way over to land on you. A precarious lingering of distant contact that makes you feel oddly self-conscious and your heartbeat to accelerate from its normally steady pace because his cocky face falters almost unnoticeably, lips parting ever so slightly, and was that sparkle you saw in his previously cloudy iris or was that just your imagination?

“And who do we have here?” The words escape Jungkook’s lips in the form of a question directed at you. His expression had just as quickly reverted back to the way it was when he had entered the apartment.

“I’m Y/N,” You announce. “Friends. We’re friends.” You point at Jimin and Taehyung.

“Best friends” Taehyung corrects with a beam, he hastily slides over to join everyone in the living room

Jungkook ignores the emphasis made by Taehyung, most likely deeming it as unimportant. He proceeds to stare at you, eyeing the way you shifted uncomfortably next to Eunha as she pushes you towards the edge of the couch that was clearly not made for 4 people because you were practically morphing together with the armrest.

“Jungkook, your sweater is sooo soft” Eunbi purrs as she rubs his chest like she was petting a dog.

The smirk on Jungkook’s face makes Jimin cringe.

“I prefer his white button up” Eunha interjects. “You know, the one that’s kind of see through and shows off his…muscles.” A flirty smile spreads across her face.

“It’s too cold for that babe, but look forward to when the weather warms up.”

So you learn that Jungkook has been working out, or more like he announced the fact to everyone in the room, bragging about how much weight he’s able to lift now, in which Eunbi, Eunha -and you want to say Taehyung- all listened to with enthusiasm. Apparently he was a pretty scrawny kid back in high school, and now that he’s a freshman in college, he wanted to sport a new image, or in his own words, “get ripped”.

You’d call what the 6 of you were doing in the living room a “friendly conversation”, but honestly Jungkook was talking 99% of the time, and the other 1% just came in the form of awestruck gasps and one-word comments from the two other girls.

“So, you guys hungry?” Taehyung interrupts just as Jungkook pauses to take a sip of beer. You can practically hear Jimin’s sigh of relief as he hops up from his seat.

“Starving” Jimin grunts, racing towards the kitchen and almost forgetting about you.“Oh, Y/N do you want to help me set up the table?”

You ears perk up at the sound of your name. “Yes!” You reply instantly, thanking god that he turned back for you. “I would love to.”

You don’t turn back to see if Jungkook notices how obviously happy you and Jimin were to get out of there, but you figure it shouldn’t matter, not when he still has Eunbi and Eunha to keep him company.

...

It wasn’t long before the food was plated and everyone was sitting down enjoying the meal. Taehyung was telling stories of how Seokjin was able to teach his formerly hopeless ass how to cook along with Jimin’s re-telling of the infamous he-almost-burned-down-the-apartment tale. Everyone was mesmerized as they listened to the two, laughing at how comedic their expressions were and admiring their unique personality dynamic. It was always times like these when you couldn’t help but sit back and appreciate how perfect Taehyung and Jimin were for each other, something so beautiful that you honestly wouldn’t believe if you hadn’t been seeing it with your own eyes for years.

“So Y/N, is this Seokjin guy your boyfriend?” Eunha suddenly asks, her voice snapping you out of whatever thoughts you were having.

“S-sorry?” You stutter, wondering how the hell she got that idea.

“Seokjin is Namjoon’s soulmate” Taehyung butts in before realizing he said the trigger word. “Ow” He mutters as Jimin pinches his thigh under the table.

“It’s fine, guys. I think I can handle it.” You assure them, still unsuccessful in your attempts to convince their overly worried and protective selves that you’ve gotten over the soulmate thing. It’s been years. You’ve moved on. “But yeah,” You turn back to Eunha. “Seokjin and Namjoon are a pair and we’re all just very good friends.”

She nods in understanding, or what seems like a polite gesture.

Jimin clears his throat moments later. “Taehyung has also prepared dessert,” He says, giving Taehyung a hurry-and-go-grab-the-cake look. “haven’t you Tae?”

Taehyung stares as Jimin confused for a millisecond before the realization hits him, and he glides back into the kitchen to bring out the pastry he had spend all day baking and decorating to perfection.

“So pretty~” Eunha coos, clapping her hands in delight as Taehyung makes his way back from the kitchen with his masterpiece.

“Waa~” Eunbi joins in, nudging Jungkook who seems to have spaced out. You’ve barely noticed that he’s been silent all throughout dinner, too focused on Taehyung and Jimin telling stories and feeding each other lovingly.

You can almost see the faint flush spread on Taehyung cheek as he admires his own creation proudly. He begins cutting into it, serving each guest a piece of the delicious treat until there is only on last piece of cake remaining, and neither you nor Jungkook have been served yet.

“Umm….” You can physically see Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobble up and down as he gulps in nervousness, staring at the last piece like it was a time bomb about to explode.

“It’s fine, I’m feeling full anyways.” You quickly announce, flashing Taehyung a smile as natural as possible.

“B-b-but…” Taehyung’s eyes switch back and forth between you and Jungkook.

“Actually, I’m not really a fan of sweets.” Jungkook opens his mouth to voice for the first time since everyone began eating, every one turns to the young man who had been staring at you.

“Since when?” Eunbi bursts out. “You told me you loved sweets, and you always go back for seconds when it comes to dessert.” Her mouth hangs open as she gapes at Jungkook in disbelief. You turn and see that rosy pink flowers have blossomed on his formerly uncolored cheeks.

Taehyung quickly clears his throat. “Jimin and I will just share a slice.” He quickly says while pushing his own piece in front of you and serving Jungkook the last slice that had commenced this embarrassing sequence of events.

…

When Jungkook and his girls leave, Taehyung comes back into the living room and looks at you and Jimin uncomfortably.

“Tae, don’t feel bad. It’s his fault for bringing an extra person.” Jimin consoles.

“I’m just, gah, I shouldn’t have invited him.”

“He wasn’t that bad” You shrug, causing both Jimin and Taehyung to look at you in surprise.

“Y/N, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for him already” Jimin makes a mildly disgusted face.

You almost choke on the water you were sipping. “What? No, no, I’m just saying he seemed more considerate than you guys make him sound.”

There’s a pregnant pause in which you have a minor flashback of his cocky attitude when he had walked in and the 40 minutes of straight bragging he engaged in while you were all gathered in the living room.

“Ok, pretend I didn’t say anything.” You correct, making both Jimin and Taehyung laugh.

…

When winter break does finally arrive in burst of frigid wind and snow-speckled air, the university campus turns into a frost covered ghost town-previously bustling sidewalks and grassy lawns now entirely empty and void of life.

Finals were thankfully a thing of the past, albeit not so distant, but at least the end of the semester was allowing you to somewhat breathe with ease. But like every year, you’re hit with that strange hollow feeling that settles in your gut after weeks of overwhelming stress, like diving into cold water after hiking to the top of a mountain in the heat of midsummer or stepping off of a wild roller coaster after your body had already adjusted to being accelerated in a million different directions.

Standing in front of the library, you take a long look at the peaceful patches of untouched snow, the daylight waning under the cloudy, grey expanse and the bare trees rooted frozen in the serene environment- matching with the cool undertones of the white wintery realm that had been cast over this part of the world.

Jimin and Taehyung had both gone home to their families, and were most likely celebrating this joyous season happily with their parents, siblings, grandparents, and undoubtedly, each other. The thought almost makes you wish you had decided to go home this winter break, to be back in the company of your loving parents who would probably be more than happy to prepare all of your favorite foods and talk about the past school year and whatnot. But you stay firm in your decision to give yourself some time alone, some time to think and figure life out, or do whatever you didn’t really know exactly.

You just wanted to be alone for a bit.

Taking a deep breath you begin heading back to your studio apartment, pulling out your headphones and putting your favorite playlist on shuffle. These were the times you enjoyed the most, walking alone after a long day and getting lost in your favorite music as you cleared your mind of stress and only dwelled over pure emotion, sadness, nostalgia, acceptance, hope, or whatever your heart desired.

Just as you were getting in the zone, a figure walking in the near distance catches your attention, not only because he was the only person around this abandoned area, but also because said person’s trajectory on the sidewalk would soon intersect with yours. You pull your headphones out as the dark figure almost bumps into you because he was mostly likely also lost in the music he was listening to-made apparent by his oblivious attitude towards the oncoming collision and the pair of headphones stuffed in his ears.

“Hey, watch it!” He begins to voice as he nearly doubles over while trying to avoid running straight into you. An annoyed scowl is plastered across his face, that is, until he sees who you are and the face of recognition washes over his distorted expression. “Y/N?” He murmurs in disbelief.

It was none other than Jeon Jungkook.

“H-Hey” You greet, casually, trying not to turn this into an awkward encounter or causing it to drag out into a full blown conversation.

“You’re still on campus?” He inquires, pulling out both of his earpieces and tucking them away into his coat pocket.

“Yeah, I decided not to go home this year. I’m still working part time at the coffee shop downtown.” You throw in the last part just for kicks. It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn't the full-blown truth either because you could’ve easily taken work off like you did every year, but you figured you’d spare him the details. “You’re not either?” The words leak past your lips before you’re able to remind yourself that you didn’t want to start a conversation with him.

“I’m not really into family gatherings and the idea of going home” He replies, shrugging and letting out a warm huff of air, white vapor dispersing in trails of wispy smoke.

You nod, ignoring the note of curiosity over what he actually means by that. It was a conventional gesture between strangers who didn’t understand each other beyond the most superficial of levels, a sign that you were ready to end this interaction right then and there. “Well, I’ll-“ You were about to add see you around, but Jungkook cuts in before you could finish.

“It’s k-kind of late. I can walk you back to your dorm or apartment or wherever” He offers rather nervously, if you weren’t mistaken about the way his voice went a pitch higher on a few select words, namely late, I, walk, and apartment.

The prepubescent aura he’s radiating now makes you wonder how he’s able to attract so many girls. What happened to the cocky fuck boy impression that he initially gave off? Or the one Jimin and Taehyung keep insisting he possesses and that he himself had clearly demonstrated less than two days ago?

“Ummm, no that’s ok. I don’t live far from here anyways.” You smile, kindly rejecting his spur of the moment, or so you think, offer.

“Oh, o-ok, t-then” He scratches the back of his neck. “I guess I’ll, uh, see you around?”

“Yeah” You affirm before proceeding to walk in the direction you had been headed before the collision. You were about to go back to listening to music when some unspecified force temps you to turn around a check to see if Jungkook had left. To your surprise he’s still rooted in the same spot, seemingly just minding his own business until your eyes meet his and causes his expression to mimic that of a deer caught in the headlights.

You raise an eyebrow, wondering why the hell he hadn’t moved at all.

“O-Oh, uhhhh…” Jungkook looks around the empty campus, clearly unsure of what to do with himself right then.

“You alright there, buddy?” You shout back, wondering why he was acting so strange and waiting for him to finish whatever explanation he was probably cooking up in his head.

“I-It’s just, I-I was about to walk in that direction too, and I didn’t want this to be like that awkward situation when you say goodbye to someone but end up walking in the same direction anyways.” The words come out almost slurred, like he was trying to spit them all out in one go. The faint flush of pastel pink is making its way back up his cheek as he makes his way towards you with a defeated sigh.

You let out a small laugh, not even knowing how to respond to this whole situation that was turning out to be more amusing than you expected. “Ok, how about you just walk with me until we end up parting ways.” You suggest, realizing that this situation was made even more awkward because the two of you were trying to avoid being awkward.

Jungkook chuckles nervously as he scratches the back of his neck.

The two of you continue walking for quite some time because you actually live further from campus than most people would consider walkable, but you enjoyed it, always relishing in your much needed periods of solitude. But now walking alongside Jungkook with no music to distract either of you, it wasn’t until the silence lingering in the air was beginning to feel so suffocating that you swallowed your social ineptitude and dipped your toe into more small talk.

“So what was that about you not liking the idea of going home?” You query as Jungkook’s previous response to the question you had asked makes its way back to the front of your mind. You hope that it doesn’t sound too personal or prying, but he could always just make up some meaningless response if he was uncomfortable with sharing his real thoughts, right?

You can almost feel Jungkook tense slightly at the sudden sound of your voice before relaxing once more. “I left my home when I was really young to attend a private academy in the city” Jungkook explains. “I was raised by my grandparents in my early years, then I moved in with my parents for a few years after that. I guess I’ve just never considered certain places to be my real home. They’re all kind of just…places.” The look in his eyes is sincere-almost telling of the vulnerability hidden behind his glassy pupils in a way that made your heart soften ever so slightly. The nervousness that had been interlaced in his voice before has left without a trace as well.

“I see…” Is all you can say, and you feel kind of shitty for the fairly cold response you’re giving him.

“What about you?”

“Hmm?” You turn to glance at him startled, not expecting the same question to be directed back at you.

“I mean, why don’t you like going home?” He asks, explicitly wording the question he had previously implied.

“I-I…” You trail off, clearly remembering you had never mentioned anything about not liking to go home, distinctly recalling your intention of specifically avoiding the revelation of things you only said to yourself. It was impossible that Jungkook would know, and you almost convince yourself that he was probably just fishing, that he doesn’t actually know his question had hit a spot you had always chosen to avoid. The part about you that you don’t just reveal to anyone walking down the street or even your closest of friends.

“Come on, you can’t possibly expect me to believe work is the only reason you’re not going home for the holidays can you?”

Oh, so he’s already trying to read in between the lines? You feel a bit of embarrassment mixed with irritancy sprout like little florets in your chest. “Well, I’ll have you know, I take my job pretty seriously.” You attempt to cover up that spot, glossing over it for the nth time in your life. It was all mechanic at this point.

Jungkook looks skeptical, but doesn’t push the matter further, perhaps sensing your reluctance to continue on with the topic. The walk from that moment on turns into a relatively silent one, in which Jungkook doesn’t tell you how far he lives or even motions to head in a different direction even as the two of you close in on your apartment. The sky was already dark and the automatic streetlights had lit up just as the sun dipped below the distant horizon.

“You did this on purpose didn’t you?” You accuse with a hint of playfulness, stopping when you’re both in front of your apartment.

“I-I, ugh…” He’s searching for the words that can form the excuse he’s hoping you’ll believe, but ends up just shutting his mouth before he can make matters worse.

“Thanks” You say anyways, deciding that he was probably just worried about your safety and really didn’t have any ulterior motives.

He scratches the back of his head, tucking his reddening face lower into his scarf.

“It was kind of on the way” He shrugs. “I-I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, see you” You wave at him one last time before walking up the steps to your apartment.

…

Going to work the next week felt nothing short of routine. Now that the crippling stress from classes wasn’t an issue any more, spending long shifts at the café didn’t sound as bad as it had the weeks leading up to midterms and ultimately finals. Since it was the holidays, business was moving at a snail’s pace, causing your boredom to compel you to turn your thoughts to a certain someone you’d rather not waste your time thinking about. But you had to admit he was kind of sweet for walking you home, despite the unconventional way in which the events actually transpired, and your short conversation with him surprisingly felt a lot more personal than most of the ones you’ve had with even the closest members of your family and friends.

Waving off your own daydreams, you attempt to steer your attention towards wiping the coffee stained table when the sound of the bell signaling the entrance of more customers startles you as the coincidence of seeing the person you were just thinking about unfolds in reality, making you nearly jump out of your own skin.

“Y/N, what a surprise” The familiar voice almost gives you a heart attack as you turn around to be faced with the person you already knew it was.

He wasn’t alone this time, bringing his friend who looked to be a few years older than him into the coffee shop.

“Y/N, Hoseok. Hoseok, Y/N” Jungkook runs through the brief introduction, after ordering at the counter and making his way over to you.

Hoseok eyes you up and down, before nodding his head in approval. “Wow, Kook, your new girlfriend is gorgeous!”

“We haven’t gone out yet,” Jungkook quickly says, clearing his throat. “But what do you say we change that, babe?” He turns to you with a smug grin.

You’re caught off guard for a momentary lapse, wondering if the question was actually meant for someone else. But upon realizing that it was in fact directed towards you, you’re immediately appalled. His sudden change of personality had come as a shock. Was this what Jungkook was really like? Was he just hiding behind a façade the other day you two were alone? You were beginning to understand where Jimin and Taehyung were coming from with the way they had been so wary of the younger male. Jeon Jungkook was undoubtedly a cocky asshole, 100% purebred douchebag.

“Um, no thanks” You frown, turning your back and returning to counter to help make the orders.

You can hear Hoseok laughing in the background as you try to ignore the stunned expression that’s probably plastered on Jungkook’s face right then. Serves him right for playing games. Why was he acting like this again?

When their orders are made, you watch the two of them leave the shop, with Jungkook glancing back at you almost apologetically, but you convince yourself that it’s just your imagination.

...

The rest of the afternoon passes as per usual, with customers coming and going. At one point you get a call from your parents, wondering how you were doing and reminding you to take time to de-stress and to not overwork yourself because it was something you had the tendency to do. You can tell by the tone of their voices that they’re still a bit disappointed that you decided to stay on campus over break, but you’re grateful they’ve always respected your decisions even if it went against their wishes.

By the time your shift was over later in the day, you were glad there were no more surprises awaiting you …or so you thought because just as you were leaving the café, you see a certain Jeon Jungkook leisurely leaning against the wall outside.

You elect to ignore his presence and walk ahead.

“Hey, Y/N, wait” You hear Jungkook call before running after you as you strolled past him.

“What do want, Jungkook? I don’t have time for this.” You ask in annoyance, ignoring the pleading look in his eyes and his fake apology that you can practically already hear.

“Listen, about what happened back there-“

“I have no interest in going out with you, so you can stop stalking me or whatever this is.” You interrupt sternly, knowing that if you agreed to his promiscuous antics you would end up being nothing but one of the million other nameless flower petals on his already crowded wall.

“I know it’s weird that I waited for you to get off work, but I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable if I had stayed in the shop…” He trails off.

Your walking comes to a halt as you register what he had just said. “You waited for me outside?” Your voice comes as a murmur. In temperatures this low?

“W-well, I mean, I did go to the dance studio with Hoseok for 2 hours before coming back here.” He scratches the back of his neck.

That’s still 3 hours of shivering in the snow. “You dance?” You query instead, attempting to lightened the mood.

Jungkook chuckles. “What you have a thing for dancers?”

You frown at his pick up line.

“S-sorry” He lowers his head once again. “I’m just, I-I..” You see his body waver slightly, and his failed attempt to steady himself before you take notice. You have a hunch that something’s not right, and upon reaching up and feeling his forehead you become aware that he’s burning up.

“Jungkook you have a fever” You voice alarmed.

...

The rest of what happens comes as a blur, namely Jungkook flashing you a faint smile before collapsing against your body. Luckily your apartment was much closer to the café you worked at than the university. You don’t know where Jungkook lives, if he lives alone, or if any of those things passed as an excuse to take him to your place, but you didn’t have time to weigh out your limited options meticulously, not when he’s literally crushing you with the weight of his body.

He at least manages to remain half conscious while you support him for the ten minutes it takes to walk to your apartment; cause god knows it would’ve been impossible for you to carry him there.

You struggle to pull out your keys from your purse and swing the door open, but once you do manage to drag him into your room and throw him on you bed, you stand there and stare at his limp body for a good 5 minutes as he lies on top of your fluffy duvet, fully dressed in winter apparel. Wait, is it better to take off his clothes? At least his coat right?

You get around to removing his Timberland boots, his coat, and his beanie only to find that his clothes underneath were damp. Shit, they’re still sweaty from him dancing. Why didn’t he take a shower and get changed before leaving the studio?

The questions continue forming in your head as you cursed under your breathe, trying to calm your nerves as you slowly remove his coat, sweatshirt, and eventually the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

Please don’t wake up and get the wrong idea…

Ugh, why am I acting like this is a crime? I’m just doing what needs to be done.

Stop it, Y/N, calm yourself. You’re making this a bigger deal than it actually is.

The internal monologue kept rolling as you stripped him down to his boxers, you blame it on your inherent habit of talking to yourself and overthinking. In a way it was a form of therapy, distracting your thoughts from the actions that your body was performing, and initially it worked, you had successfully convinced yourself that this was what any compassionate human being would do when presented with a sick person.

Nothing creepy or inappropriate or invasive.

But the minute your fingers come in contact with his heated skin-that was oh-so-freaking soft might you add, and your eyes landed on the gentle rising and fall of his chest as he breathes through marginally parted lips, you’re forced to swallow the saliva that has built up in your mouth. And it didn’t help that Jungkook’s abs looked more delicious than the tastiest of chocolates and the series of well-defined muscles on his chest, shoulder, and arms were making your mind go places it should most certainly not be allowed to go. Fucking hell.

He really wasn’t kidding about working out.

You’re able to finally breathe again after the deed of undressing him is done and Jungkook is wrapped tightly in your blanket, which will now probably smell like him for god knows how long you put off washing your sheets. He sleeps for a good 4 hours, in which you take the time to make some porridge, wash and dry his clothes, and change the dampened cloth you had placed on his forehead a good twenty times. You’re staring at the soft features of his face just as the slow fluttering of his eyelids startles you as he wakes up.

“W-wha…w-where?” He begins to murmur, barely having the energy to raise his head off the pillow and lazily look around the room.

“You had a fever and passed out” You begin explaining, feeling a bit tired after going through such a physically- and mentally exhausting event. “I brought you here because it was the closest place-er, because I didn’t know what else to do…” You trail off, waiting for him to respond.

His pupils land on you and the moment they do, the most relaxing of smiles washes over his expression.

“Thanks” He half whispers.

“I just did what needed to be done.” You voice the same words you had said to yourself a couple of hours ago.

There’s a momentary pause as Jungkook slowly sits up, only to find that he was naked under the blanket. His surprised expression is quickly replaced by a coy smile as licks his lips and clears his throat. “I see you’ve washed my clothes.” He says, eyeing the folded laundry placed at the foot of the bed with a playful tone in his voice.

“Oh…yeah…” You voice hitches a little as a powerful heat radiates to your cheeks. Of course he would notice right away. “I also made some porridge.” You quickly add, changing the subject and rushing towards the kitchen so he wouldn’t catch how embarrassed you were.

Jungkook laughs silently as he watches you dash off.

You could tell he was feeling much better as you watched him eat, seeing the color returning to his lips and checking that his body temperature had gone down.

“So about the way I acted back at the coffee shop…” Jungkook begins as he swallows the porridge and lets out a long exhale. “I didn’t mean to come off so-“

“Arrogant? Cocky?” You don’t know why you were interrupting him, but the words kind of just took matters into their own hands before your brain filter could give them a pass or fail.

He sighs. “Yeah. I’m just bad at this.” He hangs his head a little, avoiding direct eye contact as he stirs the contents in his bowl.

“So let me get this straight, you’re telling me you aren’t the smooth-talking player everyone thinks you are?” You half scoff, knowing this is probably just one of his little tricks to come off as innocent. You had seen the real him, or what you had thought to be the real him at least.

“Would you believe me if I told you that’s actually a result of practice?”

You raise your eyebrow. “Practice?”

“I’m not as smooth as everyone thinks,” He admits.

“Oh really?” You cock another brow.

“I thought it was obvious to you.”

You have a minor flashback to the time you had first questioned his social skills back when he almost ran you over the sidewalk a week ago. “Yeah, I’m just still trying to figure out who you really are. I mean, I obviously don’t really know you yet. ”

“To be honest no one really does…” He trails off, looking down at his hands.

“Not even your friends, or multiple girlfriends or whatever they are to you?”

“I see you’re a fan of monogamy.” He comments, avoiding having to answer your prior question.

“Yeah, you can put it that way.”

He laughs a little, shaking his head, and you think you can sense the look of disappointment that flashes across his features.

“Do you ever take into consideration how your soulmate would feel?” Your jaw clenches after the sentence escapes your lips. You don’t know why were you bringing this topic up, especially when you of all people should not have the right to talk about soulmates.

“Soulmates.” Jungkook scoffs, turning his head to face away from you.

“I’m assuming you haven’t found him or her yet, but when you do-“

“Look can we not talk about this?” Jungkook cuts in, voice interlaced with a bit of annoyance and perhaps even anger if you weren’t mistaken.

You flinch a little, an action that he notices and immediately regrets snapping at you.

“I’m sorry.” His face softens as he turns back to you with apologetic puppy eyes.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t be telling you how to live your life anyways.” You didn’t know what had possessed you to bring such a sensitive topic up. You and Jungkook barely knew each other and you were already getting into his personal business. Way to go, Y/N. You mentally scold yourself for getting carried away.

“It’s just…I’m not a fan of the whole soulmate thing.” He mutters, taking another bite of porridge.

Of course, that should’ve been obvious enough.

“To be honest, I’m not either.” You admit. “I just…I don’t know. Forget I even brought it up.”

…

Winter break ended faster than you had anticipated, much to your powerless disappointment. It was a few days after the New Year had begun and classes were starting the very next Monday that you became conscious of just how swiftly time passes. You can’t say you were looking forward to going back to school, but at least you had a couple of classes you were looking forward to this semester.

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, you didn’t see Jungkook after that fever incident when he thanked you one last time before leaving your apartment with clothes smelling like your laundry detergent. He had complimented the scent, but with someone as “bipolar” – the word you decided to refer to his multiple personalities as, as Jungkook, you couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or just fake nice. It had just become another addition to the hoard of other questions you had about him. Did he really want to be your friend or was he just trying to get in your pants? Was he a douche or was he some shy kid under the guise of an expert player? You didn’t know what to think or which side of him to trust, but you figured it didn’t matter because you wouldn’t have to see him again anyways.

But oh how wrong you were yet again.

Taehyung and Jimin come back from break the weekend before classes start, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss their bright and bubbly personalities lighting up your days. And of course the first thing they want to do to kick off the semester is go watch the new Avengers movie, it’s so predictable of them but that doesn’t keep you from acting exasperated at their “lame” suggestion.

“Really now? The new Avengers movie?” You cross your arms, looking back and forth from Taehyung to Jimin.

“You know we’re huge fans” Taehyung flashes you a boxy smile. “Oh come on, Y/N, we know you are too~.”

You roll your eyes, pretending like you were being forced to something you would’ve agreed to anyways.

Jimin giggles, slapping Taehyung playfully on the shoulder, and you’re almost tempted to make a gagging motion.

“It’ll be the 3 of us, just like old times.” Taehyung chirps.

You can’t help the smile that forms on your face at Taehyung’s words, but when your eyes trace over to Jimin you notice a look of guilt wash over his features.

“What’s the matter Chim?” You query concerned.

“So I may or may not have invited….ummm, ugh…J-Jungkook” He cringes as if he was about to receive a smack in the face.

“You what!?” Taehyung gasps.

Jimin laughs nervously, preparing to use his crescent shaped eye smile to get Taehyung to forgive him. “He recently agreed to be a part of a three member dance crew with me and Hoseok. Completing our dream of entering the spring dance competition. You know how long Hoseok and I have wanted this, don't you?” Jimin explains quickly, voice full of desperation.

Taehyung practically rolls his eyes 360 degrees. “And that my friend, is how the mouse gets caught in the cheese trap.” He shakes his head and turns to you for a look of confirmation.

“Wait, you guys all know each other?” You accuse with a sharp finger pointing from Jimin to Taehyung and back to Jimin, finally putting the pieces together.

“About that…” Taehyung begins. “We used to hang out at parties and stuff all the time, until Hoseok met Yoongi, and Seokjin met Namjoon, leaving only Jungkook who decided to go solo after that.”

“And it’s always been me and Hoseok’s dream to form a dance team with Jungkook called the 3J’s, but ever since he left the group and started dating a bunch of random girls, we kind of fell apart.” Jimin adds.

You swallow, finally viewing the picture in its entirety. “Hoseok and Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon, they’re all soulmates….” There it was again, the word you just seem to be unable to avoid. Taehyung and Jimin nod simultaneously, flashing you a sympathetic look.

“And I know it seems like I’m just letting go of the grudge I held against him because he agreed to join us again, but he seems different lately.” Jimin continues, inciting a skeptical look from both you and Taehyung, but there’s was nothing you could do now that Jimin’s already made up his mind.

“So you only invited him, right?” Taehyung inquires, just making sure there’re aren’t any more surprises.

“Jungkook and his plus one.” Jimin corrects, the statement making your heart fall to the pit of your stomach for reasons you claim are unknown to yourself. You knew he wouldn’t butt in on Taehyung and Jimin’s movie date without bringing an actual date himself, and yet you where somehow clutching on to the idea that maybe he take a break from being in fleeting relationships akin to that of fuck buddies.

“Oh come on Tae, you know Jungkook is rarely seen without at least one girl attached to his hip.” Jimin says. “He’s not the innocent child we knew before.”

“Ok guys, it’s fine.” You cut in. “Being the 5th wheel isn’t all that different from being the 3rd anyways.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but neither Jimin nor Taehyung laughs; they just throw you that sympathetic look you’ve gotten way to use to seeing.

The three of you wait for Jungkook- and whichever girl he was probably screwing now, at the Student Union so the five of you can walk to the city from there. You were listening to Taehyung and Jimin talk about how their break was, how their families are doing, and their plans for this summer (yeah already, and the semester technically hasn’t even started yet). Taehyung was in the middle of suggesting you guys go on a road trip/camping with the crew when he abruptly stops as you hear the footsteps of someone approach.

You turn to see who you suspected it was.

“Hey” Jungkook’s familiar voice cuts through the sounds of the other students in the background, making you tense up as you were reminded of the other times you’ve heard that voice.

He was dressed very casually, wearing a beanie to cover his hair except the bangs that lay flat against his forehead. There was something odd about his demeanor or what you couldn’t really place a finger on…until you realized…

He’s alone.

“So, uhh, where’s Rose?” Jimin asks, looking around and behind Jungkook to see if there was anyone there.

“She canceled,” He says, short, detached, and unbothered in the slightest.

“And you couldn’t find a replacement?” Taehyung raises his eyebrows disbelievingly.

“It was last minute.” Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your muted gazes.

“Ok, then are we ready to go?” Jimin gets up from his seat and flashes everyone a cheerful grin.

The fact that you haven't seen or spoken to Jungkook since you stripped him down naked and tended to his fever and the fact that Jungkook is clearly trying not to acknowledge your presence now doesn’t really sit well with you. If he’s going to be back to being buddies with Taehyung and Jimin, you’re going to have to force yourself to be on good terms with the guy.

You eye him suspiciously as he diverts his attention to the direction of the movie theater five blocks down. Jimin and Taehyung walk in front of the two of you, giggling in hushed whispers, pointing at the interesting objects displayed in the shop windows, forgetting that you and Jungkook were trailing awkwardly behind.

Somewhere in the space between skyscrapers and the muffled hum of car engines, you feel Jungkook’s hand brush against yours. It’s a light touch, the flutter of a feather drifting in the air, but it sends a tingle shooting up your arm and you swallow the saliva that has built up in your mouth.

You hear Jungkook clear his throat, and it was as if there were words bubbling up to his throat but ended up getting swallowing before they could be voiced.

The crowd of people was becoming denser as you neared the busier part of the city, it was hard not to be bumped by some random shoulder, or be squished closer and closer to Jungkook who was walking next to you. Taehyung and Jimin were far ahead now, and you could barely see the top of their head through the swarm of bodies.

“Um, is it ok if I hold your hand?” Jungkook murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear.

You turn to see that he’s looking at you, waiting for you to either accept or reject him. You’re pretty sure your expression is reflecting how unprepared you were to face such a sudden request, and you’d be lying if you said that was an easy question to answer whether you said yes or no.

“Uh, you know, so we don’t get separated?” He adds in a significantly less confident tone.

You ponder over his statement again, wanting to dissect the expression on his own face so you could figure out what his motives are, but the innocent look in his eyes compels you to nod before your mind could stop yourself.

At your signal, he tentatively reaches over and takes your hand, unable to even make eye contact as he performs the deed because he was so nervous. Jungkook’s hand is surprisingly delicate and soft. You’re not exactly sure what you were expecting because you had never taken the time to imagine what his hands would feel like, but it’s much warmer than yours. And you’re sure he’s taking note of how cold your hand is because he proceeds to stuff your intertwined hands into his coat pocket. He doesn’t look at you for the remainder of the walk to the movie theater, but you can feel his fingers move, and tenderly rub your frozen digits in an attempt to warm them up. His firm grip is strong yet gentle, like he was afraid to hurt you but also didn’t ever want to let go.

You would also be lying if you said walking hand in hand with Jungkook for the first time didn’t feel strange, but it’d be a bigger lie to say you didn’t enjoy feeling so protected and safe for once in your life.

You’re so caught up in your dreamy thoughts that you don’t notice the bump in the sidewalk that you conveniently decide to trip on in that moment. It sends you tumbling forward, but Jungkook catches you just in time, right before you can fall face flat on the hard cement.

“You ok?” Jungkook turns to you with concern while he supports your upper body.

“Yeah, haha.” You try to laugh it off, but it sounds more forced than you intended. “I do that all the time.”

He chuckles silently, relaxing a little for the first time this evening. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here then.”

You open your mouth to respond, but your mind blanks for a millisecond.

“I-I mean, you know, keeping you from falling and stuff.” He quickly adds, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“T-Thanks” You murmur softly, trying to avoid looking at his flushing face. You hope that he can’t sense your own nervousness and the churning of butterflies in your stomach, because you know exactly why that feeling is there and you most certainly do not want to address it.

You can feel his hand still moving as the two of you continue to walk, gripping and releasing like he was gently kneading your hand, contemplating how to start a conversation that would loosen the tense atmosphere hovering over the two of you.

“So, uh, I know you’re not interested in going out with me, but if you ever need someone when you’re with Taehyung and Jimin, I’ll be happy to get you out of that 3rd wheel situation.” He suddenly says when the two of you were reaching the theater entrance.

You wonder if that’s the real reason he came today.

“Jungkook, look, I don’t want to complicate things between us-”

“I understand.” He interrupts before you can finish. “It’s just, I’ve been in that sort of position, and I really hated that feeling of tagging along as an extra. Please don’t think this is just me trying to get in your pants or anything or being fake to get you to do something you don’t want to. I-I just want to help, and I totally get the not wanting to make it awkward between us since our friend groups overlap, and you know, it’s just, ugh, I’m just so bad at this.” He lets out a long exhale knowing that he was ranting again, that habit of his when he gets hit with social anxiety and hasn’t planned a whole speech out to come off cool and composed.

You bite your lip, wanting to let him know what you were truly thinking. Even though his thoughts came out jumbled, you get what he’s saying and you’re shocked at how accurately he hit the spot. It was true. As much as you liked being alone, you did hate that feeling of being out of place when Jimin and Taehyung dragged you along to their “dates”, you have been in situations when you wished someone who just come and take your hand and tell you they’ll be there when you don’t want to be alone. And you finally realized why you were secretly so happy when Jungkook had come without a date. But you don’t get the chance to respond because the heat of the theater lobby was greeting you, and your first instinct is to quickly slip your hand out of Jungkook’s pocket before Jimin and Taehyung turn to wave you guys over.

“We got the tickets!” Taehyung announces.

“Hope you guys don’t mind sitting closer to the back.” Jimin adds. “We probably should’ve reserved seats because this place is packed.”

You shrug. “Fine with me.”

You quickly follow behind Jimin and Taehyung, trying to put off the thought of responding to Jungkook’s offer. You’re immensely thankful that the lighting in theater is dim because it was acting as a blanket to cover all of the untended issues you were choosing to run away from.

“Oh yeah, and our seats are not in the same row.” Taehyung whispers. “Umm, do you want to sit with me and Jimin with Jungkook or I could sit with Jungkook and-“

“Tae, you go ahead and sit with Jimin” You interrupt, knowing that he was just trying to be polite and was probably feeling bad about leaving you with Jungkook.

“You sure?” He says, looking up to eye Jungkook who was pretending he couldn’t hear the conversation.

You nod in confirmation.

…

Seokjin and Namjoon may not seem like a classic soulmate pairing to the untrained eye, but you’ve known the two of them long enough to recognize complementarity at its finest. Kim Seokjin is maternal, protective, and caring, while Kim Namjoon is a genius-born leader and total klutz hybrid.

Seokjin is a complete jokester, always has been, and anyone who wasn’t familiar with his eccentric personality would think Namjoon was the older one in the relationship. But oh how wrong they would be, because despite always emphasizing his age with anyone younger than him, Seokjin has always treated Namjoon as his equal, if not superior. And everyone knew they were meant to be the moment he refrained himself from jumping out of his pants when Namjoon accidentally addressed him informally. It was actually quite a life defining moment.

They now live comfortably in a newly constructed apartment complex downtown, and have invited you, Jimin, and Taehyung over for “afternoon tea”. It honestly did not make any sense to you, but it had something to do with Seokjin wanting to test out the housewife life just for kicks before heading off to grad school.

“I don’t get why Y/N and Jungkook can’t just get together.” Seokjin blurts out, making you jolt at the sound of your name and Jungkook’s being used in the same sentence.

The five of you were currently gathered in their cleanly organized living room, enjoying freshly brewed tea and baked goods courtesy of none other than Kim Seokjin.

“You know that’s not how it works,” Namjoon reminds him, before you can come up with a similar retort.

“He clearly doesn’t care about staying faithful to his soulmate.” Seokjin sighs. “He’s too feisty. I blame it on his competitive nature. I told him to wait for the time to come, but that boy has no patience.”

“Hyung, I think it’s better not to talk about that when, you know” Taehyung gestures to you not-so-subtly.

“Oh sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to-“

“Guys, how many times do I have to say that I’m over it?” You try and convince them that you’re fine with not knowing your soulmate and they don’t have to act like they’re walking on needles when they bring up the topic in front of you.

“Who is Jungkook’s soulmate anyways? Has he told you guys their name?” Jimin suddenly asks.

“I thought he told you guys.” Seokjin responds raising both his eyebrows. “He’s never bothered to tell us.”

“He hasn’t told any of us?” Taehyung gasps.

“Let the boy have his privacy.” Namjoon butts in. “I’m sure we’ll all know once that person shows up.”

There’s a moment of prolonged pause before Namjoon suddenly speaks again.

“So, Y/N, not to be nosy or anything, but what exactly happened to your, ugh, soulmate?”

“Oh right, I haven’t told you yet” You respond, realizing Namjoon has no idea about the line tattooed on your wrist. He probably thought you just hadn’t met them yet. “My soulmates name didn’t really show up when I was eighteen.”

He throws you a startled look. “Like there’s nothing there?”

You roll up your sleeve and show him the faint marking that had already grown almost invisible.

“Ahh, the infamous horizontal line.”

Your eyes widen. “You’ve seen this before?”

He chuckles lightly. “Not until now.” He admits, gesturing at your wrist. “But I’ve heard about how some people don’t get names but different markings instead.” He shakes his head. “They are very rare, and there’s still a lot that is unknown about what they mean, but I found an old book at a library once that explained some of the markings that have shown up throughout history.”

You ears perk up. “Did it say anything about what a line means?” You feel your heart beat quicken as you wait for the older male to respond.

“Well…” He begins, rubbing his hands together and preparing his pending monologue. “It talked about a couple of the more common markings. Like for example, an X meaning your soulmate has died before you met them, a circle for soulmates who will not meet in this life but another, and a triangle for people who have soulmates that have someone else’s name on their wrist and not theirs….” He sighs. “As for a line like yours….”

You lean in closer because his voice suddenly grew soft.

“…the book said that it was the rarest of all the symbols that have been studied so far.” He pauses again. “It means… you don’t have a soulmate.” The last sentence almost comes out inaudible, and you aren’t quite sure if it’s because Namjoon’s voice was so hushed or because your eardrums feel like they were suddenly plunged underwater.

And maybe it was just because you were still clutching onto that nonexistent sliver of hope that a name would eventually appear, or that your soulmate would have the same marking as you and it would mean you found them, but all of that vanished with Namjoon’s words. The other markings are undoubtedly tragic, heartbreakingly so, but in some twisted way that could even come off as romantic depending on how one chose to view it, like those famous tales of star-crossed lovers or sad endings that are so meaningful because of the beautiful love that once was or could have been. But none of that was applicable in your case. It’s like you were torn away from all of that, not even privileged enough to feel the kind of gnawing pain that unforgettable or unrequited love leaves behind because what you are faced with is not even the thought of that red string of fate being cut or disappearing because now you’ve come to the realization that it never even existed in the first place.

You will always be reaching for something that is not there and never will be.

“Y/N, are you ok?” The voice of Jimin cuts through your isolated thoughts.

Breaking away from your reverie, you don’t have a choice but to force yourself back into reality and tell him you’re fine. Because truthfully, you are, and although it may seem unfair at times, you have already come to terms with your destiny, so knowing the meaning behind the rare marking on your wrist should not change that aforementioned acceptance.

...right?

…

On the Monday that classes officially begin, you run into Jungkook again.

You were starting to think your frequent run-ins with the younger male are too odd to be simple coincidences, but then you realize this was strictly only the second (or third?) time it’s been unplanned. But if that wasn’t enough evidence, the way he tries to pretend he hasn’t seen you and attempts to play it off as if the two of you were complete strangers tells you that he was not expecting to see your face among the crowd of swarming students. You watch in amusement as he looks everywhere but in the direction of you, even trying to use his scarf to cover his face.

“Jungkook!”

His eyes widen at the sound of your voice calling his name.

“I swear I’m not a stalker” is the first thing he blurts out of his mouth.

You giggle at how endearing he looks as he waits for you to charge him with a felony. “It’s fine. Coincidence, right?”

“Y-yeah, cause you know, I was walking to class and then… you… and I-I…yeah.” He smiles shyly, scratching the back of his neck.

You smile before looking down at your phone and notice that your first lecture starts in less than 5 minutes. “Well, I better get going. Don’t want to be late!” You turn to leave, but notice that he’s not making a motion to do the same. Instead, he’s just standing there, looking around like he didn’t have a class to catch.

“Ok, don’t tell me it’s because you don’t want to walk the same way again.” You look at him mischievously, crossing your arms and patiently waiting for his response.

“Would you believe me if I said it is?” He almost sounds timid, like he was afraid you were going to get angry with him for being annoying or bothersome.

“Unbelievable.” You sigh, shaking your head but unable to contain the grin that peeks through your incredulous expression. “What class are you headed to?”

“Zoology”

Your jaw drops. “No way.”

Jungkook looks at you confused.

“Me too.” You cannot believe this is actually happening. “But why are taking Zoology!?” You ask the question as if it’s something he shouldn’t be doing when in fact it should be the other way around, but you were in too much of a shock to think clearly.

Jungkook cocks a brow. “Shouldn’t I be asking why you’re taking a freshman class?”

You can feel your face heat up. “I-I” Why the hell were you getting nervous now? “I put off finishing the my last life sciences requirement, and I didn’t want to take human anatomy and physiology because those are two separate courses.”

“Makes sense” Jungkook bobs his head in understanding, not wording another question as the two of you scramble into the lecture hall just in the nick of time.

...

It becomes something of the norm, a routine if you will, for the next few weeks verging on months. Namely you and Jungkook showing up at 8am lecture occasionally together, other times separately. Often times he gets there before you, and less frequently, you get there before him, but whatever the case you make it a habit to try and bring two cups of coffee when you get the chance to stop by the cafe so neither of you end up falling asleep half way through. He says he’s not a morning person, but he always seems to arrive in class earlier than you on most days, saving you a seat next to him with his backpack that he removes upon your entrance.

You have to admit that in the beginning it was still a bit awkward, to see him every other day, bright and early in the morning, especially on the days you hit the snooze button one to many times and have to skip putting on makeup. You swear Jungkook is pretending when he acts like he doesn’t notice your dark eye bags and far from flawless skin, but you know he does and just chooses not to address why you look like you just rolled out of bed (or got ran over by a semi).

“Oh my god. I thought I was going to be late!” You huff as you settle down in the seat next to him.

“You know you could’ve just copied my notes right?” He grins, sliding over a pen and a sheet of blank paper he tears out of his notebook because he already knows you forgot in your frenzy to get to class.

“True” You respond casually, taking the stationary from him with gratitude. “But it’s not the same.”

It really isn’t, but that’s not genuinely the reason you not only haven’t skipped lecture all semester but have also consistently been on time, even in an impossible crunch. And as reluctant as you are to admit it, you secretly know you’re going because you know he’s going to be there waiting for you. Because let’s be real, you’ve skipped your fair share of classes in the past 3 years, and Zoology would not have been an exception had it not been for a certain Jeon Jungkook. You got used to counting on the fact that seeing him would put you in a good mood for the rest of the day, and you’re almost sure he’d be at least slightly disappointed if you didn’t show up one day. That kind of disappointment is not something you want to be held responsible for, not when his smiles makes his eyes crinkle in the corners and your heart feel all warm and fuzzy.

So despite thinking it was maybe a bad idea to put off a freshman course until your junior year, you soon come to realize you’re more than grateful you did because you also don’t think you would’ve survived through dissections without Jungkook as your lab partner.

“That freaking grasshopper was scary as fuck.” You comment as the two of you walk out of lab for the umpteenth time.

Jungkook laughs, making that signature cackling noise you’ve come to recognize from a mile away. “It was dead though.” He points out.

“My statement holds.” You shiver at the thought of how large it was, and how terrifying it looked when you were dissecting it. You hated bugs with a passion, and it didn’t matter that it was a lifeless black corpse, prior green color completely drained from being soaked in embalming fluid for god knows how long. “And it smelled horrible.”

“Not as bad as that dead bird.” Jungkook wrinkles his nose cutely.

“I think that’s only because the formaldehyde didn’t penetrate deep enough into the breast tissue. It smelled rotten.” You think back to how foul the specimen smelled, and mimic Jungkook’s nose scrunch.

“Still. I’ll never look at chicken the same way again.”

...

The first half of the semester passes by at half the speed of light. You and Jungkook see each other in class and lab three days a week and occasionally on the weekends when you have to study for an exam. He’s boyish and funny, and you learn that he’s also really competitive because he goes out of his way to memorize entire taxonomies just to beat you in study games.

“How did you get another hundred?!” You stare, wide-eyed and dumbfounded at his test score. “Unbelievable.” You can’t even ignore the hint of jealousy that’s nipping at your belly.

He shrugs pretending like he did know it was because of his competitive nature and your suggestion to make studying a game of sorts.

“And you’re not even going to thank me?” You inquire, crossing your arms and waiting to hear a declaration of gratitude from him.

“For what?” He tilts his head innocently, still playing the oblivious bystander.

You frown. “Stop pretending like you would’ve set the curve had it not been for the game I came up with.”

There’s a pause as he pretends to ponder over the statement. “You’re right” He smirks. “I wouldn’t have. Thank you…Noona.”

His emphasis on that last word makes you blush like crazy, sinking down into your scarf to hide the blossoming roses. Did he seriously just?!

Sometimes you forget that you’re still older than him because he constantly makes it a point to act like age doesn’t matter. But it’s always when you least expect it, that he chooses just the right words to make your heart pound faster than it should. The audacity.

“Well, I’m off to my next class! ” You inform abruptly.

Jungkook smiles as you hastily turn away, acting like you were going to be late, when you knew that he knew it didn’t start until the next hour. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He yells across the widening distance between the two of you.

“Yup!” You shout back as you almost half sprint through the lawn.

In all honesty, you didn’t think a lame class like Zoology would end up being your favorite class of the semester, in fact, you were actually expecting to hate it with a passion, but something about getting to joke around with Jungkook put a smile on your face on those mornings when it was hard to get out of bed, and that’s more than you could’ve asked for.

…

A couple of days before Spring Break, Yoongi invites everyone to his “annual celebration”. It’s essentially just a small get together that he hosts at his parents’ mansion while they are out of town, so it’s not anything wild, particularly since Yoongi’s parents are a bit anal about keeping the place spotless and Yoongi himself is not a fan of big parties.

This is the first year you’ve been invited, or more accurately Taehyung and Jimin invited you because you don’t actually know Yoongi all that well, but friends of friends are usually forced to get along. That said, you’re not actually going because the they dragged you along for once. You’re going because Jungkook had asked you to go with him a few days before the inseparable pair even brought it up.

It went down something like:

“S-so uhh, a friend of mine…uh, Yoongi, is having this p-party…and I w-was wonder if maybe you want to…?”

“Go with you?” You finish the sentence for him, not even bothering to hide the amused smile that stretches across your face.

The way he still gets choked up by his nerves has always been charming in it’s own unique way, especially when contrasted to the manner you’ve witnessed him joke about anything and everything at this point. So of course you agree, forgetting about the astonished looks on all of your friends’ faces when you walk in to Yoongi’s house with Jeon Jungkook at your side.

Yoongi’s expression isn’t all that different from the way he looks bored 99% of the time. You’ve only been acquainted with the guy on a couple of rare occasions, but according to Jimin, he has quite the natural poker face.

Seokjin and Namjoon have somewhat of a pair of knowing smiles plastered on their faces, and you’re first thought is, you don’t want them to get the wrong idea. You know exactly what they are thinking, and you didn’t want them to jump to any conclusions.

Hoseok’s face is perhaps the most startled. His mouth forms a perfect “o” as his pupils dart from you to Jungkook and back to you.

“Jungkookie!” He suddenly shouts as he snaps out of his trance and runs up to the two of you still standing in the door way. He flings an arm around Yoongi who was still holding the door open as you and Jungkook proceed to remove your shoes at the entrance.

“Hyung!” Jungkook greets with a nod as the older male pats him on the shoulder.

“And this…is Y/N, right?” You look up and notice that Hoseok is now looking at you with a smile brighter than the sun. You’re slightly pleased that he still remembers you from the coffee shop incident a couple months ago.

You nod, returning a smile of your own.

He points at Jungkook and then back at you. “Are you guys finally…?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but you beat him to it.

“We’re just in the same class this semester.” Even as you hear your own response, you can’t believe it flew out of your mouth so quickly. You see Jungkook’s face drop ever so slightly from the corner of your eye, and something in your chest clenches.

You don’t really know what you and Jungkook are because you’re obviously not together in the traditional sense. You’re just friends…classmates…lab partners…or maybe more, you don’t really know. You do, however, know that you don’t want to set yourself up for getting hurt, and if that means being suspended in this ambiguous state with Jungkook, then maybe it’s better to keep it that way.

It’d be a lie to say you never thought about being more than friends, but it’s only a fleeting thought you sweep to the back of your mind whenever you’re reminded of that sting on your wrist. Seldom do you ponder over the idea of being more than friends with anyone, especially not when you know it’ll only be a fling for them before they find their destined soulmate, and you are definitely not one to go against the laws of the universe.

“I see” Hoseok nods in mild disappointment.

“Well, help yourselves to drinks and snacks” Yoongi cuts in. You had almost forgotten he was still there because he had been silent for so long.

“Guys let’s sing!” Taehyung suddenly pipes up.

“Oh god” You hear Namjoon groan in the background, but it doesn’t stop Taehyung and Jimin from giggling like little kids as they hurriedly set up the karaoke system.

It was not a surprise that they would end up being on a team. You’ve always known they were naturally talented singers, and you’ve witnessed their angelic voices first ear on more occasions than one. They know they’re good, so of course they end up going first and getting a solid 95%.

“You guys do this just to make us look bad right?” Yoongi sighs as he takes the mic Jimin conveniently hands him with a playful smile.

“No problem. We’ve got this.” Hoseok loosens his shoulders confidently and smirks. For the few seconds before the duet open their mouths, you’re almost led to believe they might give the reigning champions a run for their money. That is, until the song actually begins and you’re almost tempted to cover your ears.

It’s safe to say Hoseok and Yoongi don’t even try to stay on key. They’re hitting all the wrong notes, and they howl at the top of their lungs as if singing louder will hide their cracking voices.

“You’re turn” Hoseok says to Namjoon as the song ends.

“And don’t even try to let Seokjin do all the singing.” Yoongi adds.

Namjoon starts three pitches lower than he actually should, and suddenly goes up three pitches higher. It makes you wonder if he’s just doing it on purpose or if he’s just vocally challenged. Seokjin, however, has one of the most soothing voices you’ve ever heard, but you’re not allowed to enjoy it for long before it’s you and Jungkook’s turn.

You’re nervous to say the least, but Jungkook flashes you a reassuring smile that quells your anxiety. You’ve never been told you were a bad singer, but you weren’t amazing either and certainly nowhere near the level of Taehyung and Jimin.

When the song begins you start out softly, almost at an inaudible volume due to the fear of singing on the wrong key or messing up the lyrics, but you hear a voice so clear and calming, twirling along the melody like colorful ribbons, that you question if they accidentally forgot to turn off the original singer’s voice. You glance around but detect that no one is making a move to correct what you assumed to be a mistake, and then it hits you that it’s Jungkook. You’re so at loss for words that you’ve stopped singing completely, slowly turning your head to look at the male sitting next to you in awe. His eyes were closed, and he was fully immersed in the song like a lonely man serenading his lover. You’re mouth hangs slightly ajar, and you barely comprehend the ending of the song when his eyes flutter open to meet yours.

“As expected” Jimin sighs at the perfect score flashing on the screen.

Jungkook clears his throat and diverts his eyes the same time you do.

“Well, I kind of stopped singing like 10 seconds into the song.” You admit embarrassingly, even though it was probably obvious to everyone in the room.

“It’s ok, Y/N, it’s just for fun anyways.” Taehyung hops up to grab the mic from Jungkook. “Who’s ready for round 2?”

A series of reluctant groans is heard from Yoongi and Hoseok before Namjoon comes up with a negotiation.

“Let us rap and you’ve got a deal,” Namjoon requests, to which Taehyung and Jimin both permit, decreeing it “only fair in the spirit of the game”.

...

A couple hours later, every one is either passed out on the couch or still drunkenly singing. Yoongi’s house is more spacious than you had imagined, so you decide to have a look around and grab a breath of fresh air. One of the guest bedrooms has a nice balcony overlooking the mountainside, so you decide to do some stargazing or viewing of the enthralling cityscape in the distance. It’s the perfect setting for you to contemplate life the way you always do when you’re feeling that need for solitude.

It was a clear night, the moon was hanging on the dark indigo canvas, looming over the treetops that are partially covering the miniature skyscrapers as seen from afar. The breeze is a bit chilly, but not unbearable and the muted sounds of the night are serene and sedative.

Just as you were watching a dark cloud drift across the starry expanse, you hear a faint click and the opening of the sliding door behind you.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were here.” Jungkook’s voice is apologetic and soft.

“It’s ok, I just thought I’d get some fresh air.” You smile, hoping that the moonlight is bright enough for him to see that you’re not bothered by his interruption in the slightest.

He nods before sluggishly turning to leave.

“Jungkook, wait” You stop him before he steps back inside. “Do you want to talk for a bit?”

A surprised expression sweeps across his face, but just as quickly as it appeared it’s washed away as he approaches you with a relieved smile.

“Things were getting pretty crazy back there.” Jungkook chuckles weakly, trying to lighten up the stuffy atmosphere hovering over the two of you. “They’re all passed out now.”

“Yeah, I had no idea Karaoke could be that intense.”

“Haha, yea. Today was actually tame compared to some other instances.”

You grin, thinking about how hilarious Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon were. “You’re really good at singing.” You comment, not meeting his eye but somehow able to see how wide they’re probably opened right now.

“T-thanks” He clears his throat and swallows. “I’ve always loved singing. I practiced only when I was alone, which used to be all the time, so I guess that explains why I got good at it. ”

“Did you ever feel lonely?” It was more of a test rather than a question. You just wanted to hear his opinion on the matter, the one topic you seem to ponder over all the damn time whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. And it somehow always ends up resulting in you convincing yourself that you’re not lonely at all, and that you simply enjoy being alone.

You still believe it’s indisputably true.

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, taking the time to really think about your rather impulsive inquiry. He turns his attention to you, and you really don’t have a choice but to maintain eye contact because you had initiated the question and he was relaying an answer.

“Sometimes I feel like I can have all the people in the world and still feel lonely.”

Your breathing slows to a stand still.

“And it’s those times when I’m alone that I feel like I’m with the perfect amount of company. It’s like I can only win by battling lonely with lonely. ” He chuckles. “Ugh, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.” He drops his gaze, and if it weren’t for the darkness you would probably be able to see the color drenching his features.

You cautiously take a few steps forward, making sure not to startle him. “How do you feel now?”

You can see his lip part as he looks back up at you who is now only inches away from his face. Lifting a tentative hand, you reach up to cup his soft cheek, feeling the warmth of his tender skin in the center of your palm. It’s the first time you’ve examined him from such proximity, the curvature of his nose, the slight pout of his lip, and his eyes- a pair of crystal clear orbs that are shimmering under the moonlight, glittering with the light of a thousand stars.

Moving forward, you can sense his hesitation, but he doesn’t inch back. Instead he leans in closer, lifting his own hand to grab your wrist and pull you towards him until your bodies were almost in contact.

And then his lips are melting onto yours.

Your eyes are closed but you can feel him. You can feel the way he releases his grip of your wrist as he uses both hands to caress your face. Your own hold on his cheek is broken as you lose yourself to the sensation of his soothing lips enveloping yours, motions slowly paced with a trained patience that tells you he’s still afraid. Initially, it’s frustratingly delicate, the way he holds back as if you would suddenly pull away if he were too urgent- too forceful, but gradually the momentum picks up and the swirling ways of his tongue incites you to press your body against his, erasing any thought of turning back, like an object hitting escape velocity setting off on its way to the end of the universe.

He supports you against the sliding glass door as he continues to drink you in; hands clasped around your hips as you hastily reach backwards and slide the door open so the both of you can stumble back inside. You fall onto the bed, gasping for air as he cages you underneath him.

“Are you sure about this?” He whispers in between breaths as he searches for the answer in your eyes.

“Positive” You answer with a confidence you weren’t aware you had, but you were ready to finally give in to that desire buried deep within your heart, the one you’ve ignored all this time because you too, were afraid.

He nods gently before connecting his lips with yours once more, working his way down your neck and igniting a flame in your stomach. His hands begin roaming parts of your body that you didn’t think he had the guts to explore, and it makes you question if he’s just as nervous as you are or if you were perhaps analyzing this situation more than you should. Your thoughts are racing as he tugs your pants down, coming back up after he does and taking your lips into his once more. You falteringly start to unbutton his shirt, but it so painstakingly sloppy that he lifts a hand to stop you after only two buttons, pausing to stand up and throw it off completely instead. You can feel your readiness increase as you eye his toned torso, the one you’ve had unspeakable thoughts of since the day you tended to his fever.

His eyes trace along your own bare figure, laid on the bed with no protective barrier, nothing to hide any of your self-proclaimed flaws, and that’s when you’re hit with an instant of vulnerability right before he leans back on top of you. He dips his hand under your panties, an action that causes you to emit a loud gasp and quickly stretch down to halt him, clutching on his arm a little tighter than you intended.

He freezes in place. “Do you want to stop?” He questions in concern, searching for a signal within your eyes.

You shake your head. “Sorry, I panicked.” You murmur, feeling even more heat rise to your face.

He flashes you a faint half smile, giving you a light nod as he proceeds to carefully slide two fingers between your already moistened folds. He plunges them in and out, wiggling in fluid motions, and using his thumb to rub your clitoris in small circular drawings, sensually spreading the fluid that is being released by your arousal. You feel the knot in your lower abdomen tighten, and it’s only emphasized by Jungkook’s own stifled breathing as he continues to dust tiny kisses down your neck to your exposed chest.

“J-Jungkook” You moan rather timidly as he stops to look back up at your pleading eyes. It was embarrassing to admit it, but you couldn’t wait much longer. You needed to feel more of him inside of you. You wanted him to fill that physical hollowness, even if it was only going to be temporary.

He somehow understands what you want without you having to state it explicitly, and you’re relieved when you see him unzipping his jeans, the crotch area of which was already giving away his own unhindered arousal.

“Are you ready?” He voices in a rich timbre, making an excited shudder run down your spine. You nod, straddling him by the waist.

He leans down to leave one last peck on your lips before he begins to enter you, sinking his length into your taut entrance. You can hear a guttural moan emanate from his throat as a reaction to how tight you actually are and how good you’re making him feel. Each of his movements is restrained but contain a trace of primal hunger that leaves you wanting more as he thrusts in and out of you after you’ve adjusted to his girth.

Never once did he lose himself in his own pleasure and forget to tend to your needs, making sure to read every little change in expression, every subtle jerk that maybe meant his movement had hurt you. You think Jungkook’s determined gaze is deceivingly sweet and misleadingly comforting because it’s erasing all of the doubt that you don’t actually have a soulmate, all of the invasive thoughts that you don’t deserve to be loved. It’s wiping away every last tear you’ve cried in the past, when you were lost and had to tell yourself that you’re fine amidst the hidden pain. Jungkook’s dazzling eyes are telling you that he will cherish you for the rest of his life, and despite the skepticism that all of this may be a dream, in that moment, you allow yourself to believe it’s real.

“Jungkook, that feels so good” You reassure him as you throw your head back against the pillow, prompting him to speed up and eliciting a louder cry to escape your lips.

His palm rises to hold your face because he didn’t think his gaze was enough to capture how beautiful you are to him, how much you’ve meant to him all this time. And in that momentary flickering, you can see the welling of his eyes, the gathering of tears that make his obsidian irises gleam with an insurmountable volume of stardust. It brings you to a transitory calm in the heat of the moment, a fleeting pause before the burning desire comes flooding back and you can feel yourself nearing the brink. You catch a glimpse of his eye crinkles as he squeezes them shut in pleasure, biting his lip and trying to delay his release. But another moan from you sends him hurling towards the edge with you chasing after him only seconds later. The last thrust drains him of all energy as he falls on top of you, chest rising and falling in rhythm with yours as everything else dissipates.

That feeling of your tangled bodies finding each other in this sea of isolation is filling the all the spaces that were once left empty. You make an effort to remember the warmth of his body, the scent of his hair, and the dull vibration of his pulsating member still inside of you, but you’re mind is too foggy to do so. Jungkook slowly rolls off of you, shifting into a position where he’s cradling you with his torso before drifting into the deep depths of slumber.

...

Hours pass before you wake up to the dim glow of the moonlight seeping in through the opened curtains. The male next to you is still sound asleep, breathing peacefully through parted lips. You swallow the lump in your throat as you sit up, making sure you cause the bed to move as little as possible as to not wake Jungkook up. Cautiously you stand up, tug on your clothes, and tiptoe over to the door, forcing yourself to not look back at his sleeping form.

He stirs awake, sensing your intent to leave, but just as you were about to turn the doorknob and step out of the room, you hear him whimper faintly.

You freeze in place, dropping the hand that you had lifted to twist the doorknob. It was as if the planet had stopped revolving and the surroundings had frozen in time. You turn back to Jungkook, the boy lying alone in the bed that seemed too big for how small he looked in that moment, and something in your chest constricts, robbing the air from your lungs.

“Please, don’t leave me.” He whispers pleadingly, with glossy eyes that contain entire galaxies, star systems that you cannot even dream of reaching, and looking into them in that infinitesimal second, you realize that he is, indeed, not your home.

He is not the comfort of a place that you ache to return to at the end of time and are capable of doing so, the destination every wanderer will eventually conclude their seemingly never-ending journeys. No, Jungkook is not your home. He is your hiraeth, something that does not exist in this tangible realm. He is that place that you will never be able to grasp because it is not actually there, it’s not real and never will be, but your heart will continuously chase after it anyways.

So you don’t leave him.

You stay.

…

“Oh come on Y/N, we’ve been planning this for months!” Taehyung exasperates, reminding you that he and Jimin have been planning this summer road trip since the begging of the year.

Of course you still remember. How could you possibly forget?

“It wouldn’t be the same without you and Jungkook” Jimin insists, almost in a whining tone as he nudges your shoulder.

You weren’t planning on rejecting their offer anyways. You just wanted to see their genuine reactions to you pretending to be on the fence, being a tease and all. In reality, you loved road trips, camping, and travelling the country. You can practically already see the beautiful scenery that Jungkook will capture on camera, as you had learned of his love of photography and filmmaking not too long ago.

The image of his smiling face pops up in your mind, making you smile fondly before turning back to Taehyung and Jimin.

“Guys, we’re obviously going” You roll your eyes playfully as identical looks of relief wash across both of their faces simultaneously.

You liked the way they accepted your relationship with Jungkook, how seamlessly it blended in to your friend group dynamic, with virtually no objections or awkward feelings. It was like everything had finally fallen into place.

And maybe they were all still concerned for when Jungkook actually finds his soulmate, still wary of the day he might leave you for someone else, the precise thing that had held you back from accepting him for so long. But you somehow find yourself dwelling over these fears less and less as time passes, because Jungkook makes you feel courageous. He renders you strong enough to believe that everything will be ok in the end no matter what happens, and for now, that’s more than enough.

...

It was the end of spring semester when you receive a text from Jungkook telling you there was something important he wanted to say to you in person. He had just messaged you about meeting him by the duck pond near campus, the place students liked to read under willow trees and come to feed their expired bread to the variety of bird species in the area. The blossoming spring was a perfect setting to take a nice walk outside and enjoy the mild weather, but you find yourself racing down the sidewalk because you were already twenty minutes late.

“Y/N?”

“Jungkook, sorry I’m late. I had to turn in my thesis paper last minute, that crazy professor wanted a hard copy. Like what century is he living in?” You shake your head, still trying to catch your breath.

“No worries. I just got here myself.”

You eye his half eaten granola bar, and the rest of the crumpled wrappers he was squeezing within his palms. Jungkook was either a fast eater or he was lying to make you feel better for being nearly half an hour late.

You barely hold back the urge to swoop down and hug him dearly. “So what did you want to tell me?” You query instead, sitting down on the patch of grass next to him, dropping your backpack and leaning next to him.

“I-I, ummm…”

“Or did you just want to see me?” You help him out; completely familiar with the way he gets too nervous to form coherent thoughts at times.

“Yeah, I really did.” He sighs, sitting up more to make room for you to rest your head against his chest as he leaned against the tree.

A moment of silence passes as the two of you gaze out at the pond, ducks swimming in sync and the occasional elegant swan making its way across the water.

“I use to come here a lot by myself.” You say, eyes still focused on the way the warm breeze causes the droopy branches of the willow trees lining the pond to sweep along the water’s surface. “I enjoyed my time alone, and although I’m reluctant to admit this even to myself, the reason I was so obsessed with solitude was because it made me feel like I was alongside someone I really wanted to be with.” You chuckle, realizing you sounded like you were spewing nonsense. “Sorry, I’m not making any sense am I?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, but you know he’s thinking about something from the way he twirls his fingers in your hair, separating the silky strands and taking his time to ponder over your words. “No, I get it.” He voices. “That feeling of always thinking about someone even if that person isn’t real. So we never feel lonely even when we are alone.”

“Wow, that’s way better than I could’ve described it.”

You feel his body shift slightly as he wraps his arm around your shoulder a little tighter, and you can’t help but reflect on the fact that the sensation of being with Jungkook felt almost exactly like the alone times you treasured so much. As impossible as it sounds, it’s like he was somehow always with you disguised as that person who isn’t real or maybe it’s the other way around.

“So there actually is something I wanted to tell you today, and I’m really not sure if this is right time or if I should just wait because I might just be messing things up by saying this to you and I’m so nervous right now- god, I’m never going to be good at this am I?” He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, making you giggle at his flustered state. Truthfully, you’ll always find it extremely endearing, and you wished he wasn’t so hard on himself.

“Jungkook, it’s ok. Just tell me, I’m all ears.” You reassure him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest and being able to hear the rapid pounding of his heart as you nuzzled against his chest.

“I love you.” He says, voice so soft and airy that it was almost carried away by the wind before it could make it’s way to you ear.

Your initial reaction is not of disbelief or skepticism because you somewhat already knew about his feelings for you. And it wasn’t because he had already gotten in your pants and made love to you and it also wasn’t a deceiving result of you own feelings for him. Jungkook had made you feel special with his nonverbal gestures and shy actions for a long time coming, even when he was pretending to be a douchebag and acting unlike his real self to impress the people around him. It was always clear to you that he had placed you somewhere deep within his heart with his showing of his vulnerable side and the seeping of his true thoughts that he only revealed to you. But the weight of the actual words that escaped his lips just now comes as a slow swelling of your heart and makes a home in widening smile gradually stretching across your features.

“I love you too, Jungkook.” You whisper back, hugging him just a tad bit tighter, even though you knew he would never disappear.

It’s astonishing how much importance you used to put on the concept of finding a soulmate, that one person who was meant for you and promised to make you feel whole. You’ve come to learn over time that soulmates are not the final destination; your other half is not the ultimate goal in life or the only window to happiness and security, because in the end, those things are only constructs of your mind and ways that dictate how you ultimately perceive your own reality. Everyone is on this endless journey in search of that which cannot be found in this world or even the next, discovering consolation and solace in the spaces created by things we wished were there to fill the void.

Jungkook may not be your soulmate, but he’s the closest thing in this universe to that which your heart yearns for, and in a way it makes him mean so much more to you than a destined soulmate or an definitive home.

“So, this might make me sound grossly hypocritical, but I never actually received a soulmate.” You confess as you tilt your head up to read his reaction to your statement.

“What do you mean?” He questions, sitting up so he can look into your eyes because he truly cared, and he could tell just by the hesitation and tone of your voice that this was something you were reluctant to share but were doing so because you felt that it was the right time.

You flash him a faint smile before fiddling with your sleeve, biting your bottom lip as extend your upturned wrist towards him. There’s no hue of surprise washing over his face, or any kind of shocked response flickering past his irises for that matter. He just stares down at the horizontal line that you’ve put in the utmost effort to conceal ever since the fateful day it showed up on the tender skin of your wrist with a fondness that you don’t really understand.

“Jungkook?” You whisper, afraid that you might’ve scared him or made him change his mind about you.

He doesn’t respond vocally, still gazing at the exposed skin, pale and raw from the lack of exposure to sunlight over the years. He cautiously lifts his hand to place on your wrist, rubbing the area gently with the caressing touches of his quivering fingertips. You see his eyelids flutter up to glance at you momentarily with glistening eyes and the faintest of smiles. He doesn’t say anything, but instead turns his own arm over, slowly lifting the sleeve of his shirt cuff.

And beneath the fabric that is filtering away the harshness of the world is a marking that almost stops time:

An identical black horizontal line, matching the very one tattooed on your own wrist.

...

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bangtan bookclub #btswriters #armiesnet #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #bts soulmate au #jungkook x reader

4K notes · View notes

inferno-loop · 7 years

Text

Hiraeth: Chapter 2

JUNGKOOK X READER, WOLF AU

3.9K words

Jungkook walked briskly, blending in perfectly with the opulent interior of his hotel. His magenta dinner jacket was buttoned at the front and his pants were ironed to perfection. The classic peak lapel of his jacket was of a slightly darker shade, almost brownish-black with a tint of red. His coal-black hair was styled to suit his position in the hierarchy of the hotel- the owner. His eyes, however, seemed stormy and nervous and his hands were shaking. He stepped out of his luxurious hut in the open to walk towards his car. He couldn’t get his mind off the dialogue, that he moments ago had been a part of in that accursed suite. He stopped dead in his tracks as he recalled the conversation for the hundredth time after leaving the suite.

***

30 minutes ago;

“The wolf princess is alive and…she is in this city.”

The suite went silent as Namjoon finished delivering the news. Jungkook looked around and narrowed his eyes. The nervous faces of his brothers and the deadpanned look on the face of Durion were beginning to unsettle Jungkook as well.

“How are we so sure of this?” He broke the silence. Everyone looked up at him. “Don’t you think the presence of the wolf princess would have come into our notice if she was indeed alive and more so, in our vicinity?” He spoke, gaining confidence in his logic.

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asked him with confusion evident in his voice.

“I mean,” Jungkook walked towards Namjoon. “That this is a baseless assumption. You know this, hyung. The dynamics of our world are different from the world of humans. Our kind is privy to every wolf present in this city. That’s how this works. We may not know their identity, but we can feel their life forces. In this scenario, a presence as pronounced as her’s would go unnoticed? I refuse to believe that. There must be some misunderstanding.”

The sound of mocking laughter filled the suite making everyone inside turn their head towards the direction of the nasty sound. It was Durion, in a seemingly uncomfortable position with his head thrown back in loud amusement and his hands on his stomach. He dramatically wiped a fake tear off his eye and kept his kept his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder with a pitiful expression on his face.

“Oh my dear Jungkook! You are still so young…my poor boy.”

Jungkook eyes flared as anger threatened to consume his entire being. The tense atmosphere in the room increased exponentially with the fury that was radiating from youngest of the pack. “What do think you are doing, Durion?” Jungkook said in a tight voice.

Durion merely rolled his eyes and just brushed him off. “Oh please. You don’t have to get so worked up, young one. I just wanted to tell you how foolish your logic sounds.”

Jungkook scoffed. “What did you say?”

“Listen to me carefully, kid.” Durion began. “____ may have been a princess in title but she was no less than a queen. She is different from the likes of you and I. She is made of snow, pure white snow. Hiding her aura and her life force? These are mere magic tricks for her. It’s no difficult than breathing is.” Jungkook and Namjoon exchanged glances as Durion continued. “The white wolves are purest of the pure, blessed by the moon goddess herself. ____, too, is a white wolf. A strong one.” Durion looked at Jungkook and that was when Jungkook saw it. While Durion’s face was completely devoid of any emotion, his eyes were strange. His eyes held in them a raving madness as though he was talking about a prize, an extremely valuable prize but a prize nonetheless. Jungkook narrowed his eyes. Something felt extremely off.

“Didn’t you kill some of those white wolves you’re mentioning? I thought you prided yourself on that.” Jungkook’s said, snapping Durion out of his trance.

“Of course not.” Durion gave Jungkook an amused smile. “I do not have the skill to kill a white wolf by my own- I reckon no one does. The annihilation of these beautiful monsters was planned for years, and…” He smirked at his audience. “It was in fact the wolf princess who killed the King and the Queen.” Jungkook closed his eyes in frustration and took deep breaths to calm himself down. Patience had never been his strong point and Durion was just going in circles.

“We know that, Durion.” He opened his eyes and said through grit teeth. “Tell us something of value. Aren’t you the one who claimed that the princess was dead?”

“Assumed.” Durion corrected Jungkook. “I had assumed that she died. She was nowhere to be seen and in the past 500 years not even a trace has surfaced so I assumed that she had died. I should have known better.”

Jungkook frowned. “Not even a trace in the past 500 years, you say. That means you found a trace.”

Durion smirked and started fake clapping. “That is the right answer.”

“Why don’t you stop with you theatrics and then we can discuss the real problem, eh?” Jin said as he emerged from the corner and stood beside Jungkook. “What is the trace that you speak of?”

“Sure, sure.” Durion waved his hand. “It was a boy. He claims that his teacher is a monster and that she tried to kill him.”

Jungkook’s eye twitched as he tried to keep in his anger. “Don’t tell me that’s what you call a fucking trace, Durion.”

“Of course it is pup.” Durion scoffed. “This professor he is talking about, he claims that she stopped time.”

“Durion!” Jungkook’s anger finally slipped out in his raised voice. “Does this look like a joke to you?”

Suddenly, all humor from Durion’s face vanished and when he spoke next, it sent chills down Jungkook’s spine.

“Does it look like I am joking, Jeon Jungkook?” He said. “I know what they’re like. And I know what it is that they can do. It is she, I am sure of it.”

A stunned silence engulfed the suite. These were things no one knew of and not having knowledge about the rare species made Jungkook more uncomfortable than he would like to admit.

“So what do we do?” Jimin spoke.

“What else?” Durion said. “We find her and we get rid of her.”

Namjoon nervously looked around. Ráka was a peaceful pack. Strong but peaceful. Violence was never a first resort for the Ráka wolves but in this case, nothing else seemed to come to Jungkook’s mind either. He could not risk a world where the white wolves terrorized his kind and more importantly, his family. Jungkook took a deep breath, preparing to submit his affirmative.

“Hold on.”

A calm voice amidst the unsaid chaos called out. Everyone turned their head to see Yoongi leaning against the wall with his eyes shut and arms crossed. He opened his eyes and immediately rested them on Durion. Abandoning his backrest that was the wall, he stepped forward elegantly, walking till he reached Namjoon’s side, his eyes unflinchingly fixed on the elder wolf.

“What is it, hyung?” Namjoon

“Durion.” Yoongi addressed the pale wolf, ignoring his younger brother.

For the second time in the night, Durion’s mockery and arrogance were nowhere in sight. They had been replaced by a grim look.

“Why do you really want to kill her?”

Durion didn’t bat an eyelid. He said, “I believe you know why.”

Yoongi pretended to think for a while and then he spoke, “No, I don’t.” He walked towards Durion until he was a foot away and spoke in a tone of voice that made everyone in the room tense. Yoongi’s tone of voice spoke volumes. He was preparing for a fight.

“Now why don’t you tell me why you really want them dead?”

“Namjoon.” Durion said. His eyes were turning darker by the second. “Tell your second in command to back off. If he dares to question the authority of the-“

The next ten seconds happened quicker than anyone the room would have liked them to. In one swift motion, Yoongi’s hands were around Durion’s neck pinning him to the wall. Durion’s eyes went wide with anger and before anyone could exhale, his eyes were already bleeding blue. Namjoon jumped forward, his eyes wide, and put a hand on Yoongi’s chest to stop him from going any further. Meanwhile, Jungkook just stood there in shock. He had never seen Yoongi aggrieved to an extent of using violence.

“Hyung!” The leader was pleading with Yoongi. “Please step back! Why are you doing this?”

Yoongi’s eyes were fixed on Durion, his chest heaving up and down with an emotion Jungkook couldn’t place his finger on. He didn’t loosen his hold on Durion’s neck. For a moment, all Jungkook could do was stand there and look at Yoongi in shock and wait as Durion’s jaw dislocated itself to accommodate the size of his humongous canines. He only snapped out of it when Yoongi growled in a deep, feral voice and his eyes began changing color to golden brown. Jungkook’s eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen was a battle not between Yoongi and Durion in their human forms, but between two potent wolves. He gasped, running forward and grabbing Yoongi to pull him back while Namjoon placed himself in front of Yoongi, facing Durion. The tense atmosphere of the room had multiplied within seconds.

Jungkook struggled to hold Yoongi back from reaching for Durion’s neck. He grunted as he put all his strength in dragging Yoongi away to a corner and looked at him goggle-eyed, trying to find out the reason behind his rage. Nothing. Jungkook’s heart was beating so fast by now that he could hear the quickening thud all the way to his toes. He was sure that he must have had terrible expression on his face because the next thing he saw was Yoongi looking at him, his eyes changing back to black. He put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as though he wanted assure him that he wasn’t going pull any other stunt and that’s when Jungkook discerned that he was holding his brother by his arm tight enough to cut off the blood supply. He immediately let go Yoongi and looked at him. “Hyun-“

“Don’t worry.” Yoongi cut him off. He looked Jungkook straight in his eyes and Jungkook understood that he wanted him to lay off. He would know everything soon enough. Jungkook collected himself and gave him a curt nod. He turned around to see Namjoon still standing in front of Durion blocking his way and Hoseok and Jin right behind him.

“Leave, Durion. I will contact you when the time is right.” Namjoon said.

Durion’s eyes snapped from Yoongi to Namjoon, his jaw now almost back to the size of a regular human but his eyes were still a blazing blue and angry. Jungkook could see the madness in his eyes spurting from the humiliation he had just endured.

“You would dare to humiliate me this way?” He growled. He lurched forward to grab Namjoon’s collar but Namjoon cut him off by placing his hand on the older wolf’s chest.

Then, he spoke in the deadliest voice anyone had ever heard coming out of his mouth.

“Durion. I do not know what you did to incite such rage from my brother but keep in mind, if it was anything remotely bad and if I end up finding a voice of reason behind his rage- you will have hell to pay. Trust my words, right now you do not want to be here. Leave this instant. I will contact you, you can be sure of that.” Namjoon’s hand left Durion’s chest and returned to his side.

Durion looked at Namjoon, gritting his teeth and with one last hateful stare aimed at Yoongi, he turned around and left the suite.

“So, hyung, you want to tell us what that was all about?” Namjoon said as he turned around and faced Yoongi, whose face was grim.

“We’re not brothers by blood, Namjoon-ah.” Yoongi began.

“Hyung.” Hoseok warned him but Yoongi help up a hand.

“Hear me out, brother.” He looked back at Namjoon. “ Namjoon-ah, do you remember why we came together despite not being of the same blood?” He asked.

“Yes, of course.” Namjoon said.

Yoongi nodded. “I said nothing when you formed an alliance with that beast. I know what you were thinking when you did that, kid. And I respect that. However, hunting to fulfill that fiend’s crazed quest to annihilate the lone survivor of a wronged pack? This is not who we are, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon sighed. “This is much different than how you are putting it to be, hyung. I’m not with Durion on this either but…you have no idea about the boundaries of her powers. They’re limitless. If she should decide to turn against anyone then…”

“Has she?”

“What?”

“Has she turned against anyone?” Yoongi asked.

Namjoon sighed. “Not that I know of…but-“

“It’s been 500 years and everything has been quiet. This war that Durion keeps on mentioning, happened when most of us weren’t even alive. We have not one thing to pile against the dire wolves whereas Durion…his atrocities are unequaled. Who should we really be fighting against, Namjoon-ah?”

The conflict in Namjoon’s mind was visible in his frown.

“That’s what I thought.” Yoongi’s smile was melancholic. “I know your intentions are not to cause harm and trust me, I will fight and die by your side if it should come to that but things will never be the same brother. Should the blood of an innocent come on my hand…” He voice trailed off.

A morbid silence settled in the suite, forcing Jungkook to take a deep breath to calm his nerves. Yoongi did not need to complete his sentence for Jungkook to know what he meant. Yoongi would choose to embrace death before hurting an innocent. He had good reason to…everyone in the room did. However, Jungkook could not bring himself to agree with Yoongi. His words were true but a creature of such power was a threat no matter how Jungkook saw it. The very reason that had Yoongi willing to die for it, made Jungkook’s reason firmer. His family being at risk was not an option.

“Hyung.” Jungkook said. “…We must.”

Yoongi turned around and looked at him, slight confusion etched in his eyes. “What?”

Jungkook sighed and closed his eyes. “She must die.” He opened his eyes to find Yoongi staring at him tight-lipped. “Namjoon-hyung is right. The lives at stake if the princess lives outnumber your cause greatly. Think about them as well, hyung. Is it okay to let the fate of mortals around her rest on the princess’s whims? We cannot just take a backseat and wait for the day she decides to unleash her rage.” He finished.

Yoongi stood there, staring at Jungkook with a stony face. “Is there no one here who feels differently from Jungkook?”

When his question was met with silence, he nodded. He said, “I see.” The he turned around to face Namjoon and continued. “I’ve told you kid, I’ll fight all our battles by your side.”

Namjoon smiled at that. He hadn’t doubted for a second that Yoongi would abandon him. However, he could see in Yoongi’s countenance that something had cracked underneath and he had made a resolve. Namjoon lost his smile.

Yoongi turned around to leave but stopped at the door, his hand resting on the doorknob. He turned around to look over his shoulder. He said, “Let me ask you one question Jungkook-ah.”

Jungkook looked up, surprised that he had been acknowledged. He expected Yoongi to not speak to him after what he had said. “…Of course, hyung. What is it?”

“What would you do if Durion were to kill me tomorrow for what I did to him today?”

Jungkook grit his teeth and stepped forward. Even the thought of Durion hurting his brothers riled Jungkook up. Unhesitatingly he said, “I would rip him to shreds before he even came near you, hyung.”

Jungkook thought he saw a smile on Yoongi’s face but the next thing he heard had him doubting his eyes.

“That’s what he did to her entire family…and she has lived with it for 500 years. Think about that, Jungkook.”

Then he turned the knob and left the suite.

“Hello? Are you okay sir?”

Jungkook snapped out of his thoughts upon hearing his name. His senses reawakened and he turned around to see his director of management standing behind him. Jungkook apologized and acknowledged him with a handshake.

“I’m sorry Mr. Seok, I was occupied with some thoughts. I didn’t see you there.”

Mr. Seok gave him a curt nod. “It’s quite alright. You were standing immobile for quite a while so I thought I’d check on you. Is everything alright?”

Jungkook smiled at the man. The weren’t many humans he was fond of but Mr. Seok, despite being technically younger than Jungkook always gave him a very warm, fatherly vibe. He was a hardworking employee and a good man.

“I’m quite alright. How are doing, Mr. Seok?”

“I’m just going to visit my mother.” He gave Jungkook a sweet smile only for it to be replaced by worried look. “I must warn her.”

Jungkook looked at the ‘elder’ man in surprise. He couldn’t guess his mother was still alive. The worried look on his face made Jungkook put his hand gently on Mr. Seok’s shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

Mr. Seok sighed dramatically. “She’s old, you see. Very old. You could almost call her ancient.” He gave a small laugh, which made Jungkook smile. “There are these men, though. They want to harm her. A bunch of insecure goons, really.”

Jungkook wasn’t surprised. Mr. Seok was a rich man and considering he had his own family, his mother must not live with him. A rich, old lady living alone? This could turn out to be very bad news.

“You should report these men to the police Mr. Seok, before they harm your mother.”

“Oh no, not at all.”

In that moment, Mr. Seok’s face-hardened and he looked so hateful, Jungkook had to take a step back. He said, “My mother is very well equipped, sir. Should anyone dare to harm her, they will lose their head.”

Jungkook looked at him with wide eyes. However, the very next moment, he went back to being an old worried man. “But a son worries, you know.”

“Y-Yes, of course.” Jungkook stuttered.

“Well,” Dae-Seok looked at his watch. “I have taken too much of your good time sir. Forgive me. Safe travels.” He held up his hand and Jungkook took it. There was no trace of hate in the old man’s words or actions anymore. Jungkook frowned. Maybe he was becoming too paranoid. Of course Mr. Seok would get angry with someone harming his mother. Jungkook knew how angry he could get if it came on his family. He shook his hand and walked to his car. He sat inside, shut the door, turned the ignition and sighed.

“Safe travels indeed.”

Dae-Seok entered your apartment quietly to find you sipping on some green tea with your back to the front door.

“______, you know I’m here.”

You turned around and looked at him. “That’s Diana for you. And of course, I do. Sit down. Tea?”

He shook his head. “I don’t have a lot of time. My son’s coming back from the States today. I just came here to show you something. Please get your laptop.”

You narrowed your eyes and got up from your seat. You bent down and picked up your laptop, which was balanced again the high chairs. You took it out and put it in front of him.

He got to work immediately. He took out a memory card from his pocket and inserted it in the drive. His face was angry but determined.

“What is this about kid?”

“You know it.”

You sighed but didn’t say anything. You seemed to have reason for his actions and you were not about to throw him off.

“Alright.” He spoke. “This is my boss, Jeon Jungkook. He is heading to one of the suites where his entire family and another man are already waiting. I installed a camera without his knowledge and I’m positive he doesn’t know of it. None of them do. Now, listen to the conversation very carefully.” He stepped back.

You complied and listened carefully as the entire scene broke out. However, none of it mattered to you the moment your eyes fell on the conniving bastard, your age-old nemesis, and the murderer of your family.

Durion.

Your eyes went wide with rage the moment you spotted him. Dae-Seok rushed forward to calm you down. “What happened? Diana? _____?” When you wouldn’t stop shaking and your eyes began bleeding red, Dae-Seok screamed.

“Mom!”

You gasped and turned around to see Dae-Seok eyes brimming with tears and his hands shaking. You took one long stride and hugged him to your chest. “I’m sorry Dae-Seok.” You said as the red in our eyes settled.

He separated himself from your grip and took your hand in his. “W-What happened there?”

“It’s him. He is the one. That-“ You pointed your finger to the screen without looking. “is Durion.”

Dae-seok’s eyes were wide. “What?”

You took your hand away from his and turned your attention back to the screen. You took a deep breath and hit the play button again. Your rage would have to wait.

You finished listening to the entire footage and opened your eyes. Without, turning back to face Dae-Seok, you said:

“Dae-Seok…who did you say your boss is, again?”

He came forward and pointed towards the man in a rich suit standing in the center of the suite, looking at the door in astonishment after his brother had walked out.

You nodded and turned back to face Dae-seok. “Go. Leave this place and don’t back here again unless I summon you.”

“What?”

“They are after me, Dae Seok.” He opened his mouth to interrupt, surely to tell you he wouldn’t leave you alone but you cut him with your hand. “No, listen to me. I am invincible until they find a weakness. They are not capable of defeating me in physical or mental combat. Dae-Seok,” You smoothened out his hair by running a hand over it. “You are my weakness. Should they find you, I will suffer the same fate I did more than 500 years ago. If you stay out of this, no one can touch a hair on my body. Do you understand?” You finished.

Dae-seok looked conflicted but at last he nodded and spoke. “Okay. I will not come to you.” You smiled at him. “But what are you going to do?” He asked you with worry etched on his wrinkled face than made him look older than he was.

Your smile disappeared and your face hardened. You turned back to look at the screen, which was frozen at the last scene. A perplexed man standing in the center, surprised by the brother’s words. Your voice didn't quiver when you spoke next.

“It’s time to pay your boss a visit.”

Much love,

Inferno-loop

514 notes · View notes