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sergle · 9 months

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I don’t know if there really is any science behind workout routines separated by sex, but even if there is benefit to doing exercise “for women” i don’t give a shit. and i will intentionally seek out guides made For Men. because by and large, this is how the different video thumbnails shake out

#especially when you are explicitly looking at strength training but the focal point of the thumbnail is still thinness #and the girl always in something of this type of pose.#if there's a dude in the thumbnail w his shirt off also he's facing the camera directly and looking Bulky as fuck #so even that doesn't compare At All #but half the time it is literally a guy just talking. in the thumbnail.#anyway if you want to be strong as a Wamen you need to wear tight little yoga shorts first #sergle.txt #i'm not trying to get sexy i'm trying to get strong. killing you killing you killing you #I realize that fitness IN GENERAL is very Thinness and Attractiveness-centric but it's worse if you type 'for women'

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ministarfruit · 2 months

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day 12: karma ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#minifemslashfeb2024 #ace attorney #franmaya #franziska von karma #maya fey #noooo babygirl don't have the same generational trauma as me aha ur so sexy #we're the. we're the daughters of the . the legends we don't want to inherit #'mini did you draw franz for this prompt solely because her name is von karma' don't worry about it #HONESTLY DID NOT THINK I WAS GONNA MAKE THIS ONE #had to go to the dentist today instead of drawing yuri #life is so cruel </3 #but it's okay I have to shill my narrative foils agenda #back at it with the franmayas....#WHO LOVES PARALLELS #ME!! I LOVE PARALLELS!!!!#'karma' is referred to very loosely in this #but my idea personally was that they're betraying their family legacies #and THAT is karma for the way they were treated growing up #yeah I had all these thoughts at the dentist btw #thinking about yuri while two women have their hands in my mouth (professional) (normal) (not clickbait)#hope that helps

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frodo-a-gogo · 2 months

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Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

#i am (lesbian) sipping him like a fine DESSERT WINE #my evidence by the way is very simple and very damning. joyce messier. there i said it.#if you guys can appreciate the fact that Joyce is a complex figure worthy of disgust yes but also worthy of empathy #despite being a venal coward facilitating acts of violence and slaughter of the organized working poor of martinaise in the name of capital #if you can understand that she is a dimensional figure while also being an embodiment of the moral apathy and cruelty if capital owners #but you cant look at evrart and see that he is (while deeply flawed and morally suspect) also a dimensional figure #on top of the fact that his motivations are eminently relatable and dare i say it baser #and his greatest failing imho is in failing to advocate for the interests of *all* the poor of martinaise #opting instead to marginalize the inhabitants of the fishing village in favor of a power grab in the interests of himself and his union #though this is imo a bit of a grey area morally. undeniably a wrong and bad thing to do but done in service of clairs political goals #to gather power to advocate for the working class against ultraliberal monoliths like wild pines and fascistic orgs like krenel #still super wrong but i can follow the moral arithmetic there tho i don't like it #but like my point is if u can see that joyce is evil and pathetic but still cool and sexy but you consider clair flatly distasteful #thats cus hes not conventionally attractive #cus he is *every bit* as dimensional and interesting as joyce and he is not nearly as politically shite even if hes interpersonally a jerk

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ask-spiderpool · 6 months

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#ask-spiderpool #main #deadpool #wade wilson #very hot and sexy of you anon to enter your hot divorceé era #when oh when will i enter my hot divorceé era...

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spriteofmushrooms · 5 months

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The first time Jin Guangyao held Jin Ling did not go as he'd expected. Jiang Wanyin, half-mad and barely functional, for some reason had been allowed into the nursery by Jin-furen. The moment whispers of this reached Jin Guangyao, of course he went to intercede; and it was fortunate he had. He could hear wailing halfway down the corridor.

"Why is he crying?" Jiang Wanyin demanded of the wetnurse as he held the baby incorrectly.

"This one is sure Sandu Shengshou knows better than her," she replied, eyes wide. Jin Guangyao made note of this, but he had few hopes of improvement. Jin servants knew to be meek.

"Obviously, I don't," Jiang Wanyin snapped, brows furrowed as he stared down at Jin Ling. Jin Guangyao purposefully brushed the silk of his robe, and like a dog Jiang Wanyin raised his head at the sound. "Lianfang-zun, what am I doing wrong?"

With a smile, Jin Guangyao moved between the shaking wetnurse and the mad dog of Lotus Pier. "Jiang-zongzhu, babies require support. Adjust your hand--yes, ah, slightly to the side--"

"Please just show me," Jiang Wanyin said, sounding tired as he held out Jin Ling.

The moment stilled. If his cultivation were better, Jin Guangyao believed he would hear the wetnurse's breath stop. She was, after all, expressly forbidden from allowing his whoreson hands to touch his nephew; yet neither of them could deny a sect leader.

A-Ling was warm and soft, sweetly heavy as all babies should be. His embroidered, daffodil-colored swaddling still burned with the heat of Jiang-zongzhu's high cultivation. Automatically, Jin Guangyao checked the boy for a fever; but of course no illness was allowed to fester in this child.

His chubby cheeks were red from crying, but as Jin Guangyao settled him in his arms, Jin Ling slowly quieted.

"As expected of Lianfang-zun," Jiang Wanyin said, slightly mocking.

When Jin Guangyao gauged his expression from under his eyelashes, however, Jiang Wanyin seemed wistful. He looked as young as he was.

(For a moment, Wen Ruohan's laughter filled his mind. "Xiao-zongzhu" had been a common target of derision, in the beginning. Wen Chao's account of the rape of Lotus Pier had been unusually thorough, and its contents were well-known amongst Wen Ruohan's inner circle. Jin Guangyao had not included the details in his reports to either his father or Lan Xichen. He doubted that this discretion would matter at all to Jiang Wanyin, who had tortured Wen Chao at the side of Wei Wuxian. What would he do to Jin Guangyao for being the last to know?)

Choosing to ignore the self-deprecation and memories both, Jin Guangyao instructed Zidian's master on the handling of human children. Jiang Wanyin made an attentive student, but he did not reach to take Jin Ling even once Jin Guangyao finished. "Would you like to hold him?"

Frowning with concentration, Jiang Wanyin nodded and sidled closer. He held his arms as Jin Guangyao had shown him, and then he checked Jin Guangyao's face, seeking approval.

"Good," Jin Guangyao said. Jiang Wanyin didn't smile, but some tension eased. Careful not to touch hands, Jin Guangyao returned Jin Ling to his jiujiu.

The wetnurse's gentle "oh" described the scene well.

Against the black and violet, Jin Ling looked like a ray of sunshine piercing clouds. Jiang Wanyin's face cleared until he looked as delicately beautiful as gossip painted him to be; while Jin Guangyao generally considered him fragile, it was more in the sense of an arrow point designed to break once it pierced flesh. Now, though, he could understand why Jiang Wanyin was so often painted as a mourning lover spurned by the Yiling Laozu.

Then Jin Ling fell asleep, and Jiang Wanyin's eyes watered. He slowly settled onto the couch, careful not to jostle their nephew.

"How long can I stay?"

Ideally, half an incense stick. Jin Guangyao turned to the wetnurse. "Could you please ask Jin-furen to advise us?"

She bowed her head and left.

After a few moments, Jiang Wanyin said, "She needs guards in the room with her. If she can't even tell me I've fucked up, how will she fare against assassins?"

"Gold Scale Tower has many guards," Jin Guangyao began, but Jiang Wanyin snorted.

"Where do you think we are? If some pompous Jin cousin demands Jin Ling, would she say no? Much less someone with weapons drawn."

"As a servant--"

"Jiang servants can and would."

Jin Guangyao smiled. "Is it not true that Jiang servants are entirely comprised of disciples, disciple candidates, and those who failed to cultivate but chose to stay?"

"It's a sect," Jiang Wanyin answered. "Typically, they are operated like sects, yes."

"Gold Scale Tower must run in accordance with its scale," Jin Guangyao said. "The servants are often merely servants."

Jiang Wanyin, whose face displayed his opinion of that, said nothing for a moment, allowing Jin Guangyao to notice his headache. "She needs guards for herself, not just outside of the room," he repeated.

"Perhaps this is something you can address with Jin-furen?"

Looking up from Jin Ling, Jiang Wanyin studied him. "Alright. Is there anything else you want me to say?"

Jin Guangyao's fingers twitched with the desire to straighten his gold robes. "Between Jin-furen and Jiang-zongzhu, I am sure that all concerns have been considered."

"Please, you notice everything and didn't accept one single item I suggested for a-jie's wedding," Jiang Wanyin said. "Do you expect me to believe you don't have opinions on Jin Ling?"

Jin Guangyao inclined his head, and then he tentatively offered an observation and a suggestion. When Jiang Wanyin merely looked thoughtful, Jin Guangyao continued; while Jiang Wanyin occasionally asked clarifying questions, he never reacted emotionally.

It was... strange, to be in a room with this man, discussing the care of a child he wasn't allowed to do anything for. He wondered what he must look like to Jiang Wanyin to be accepted so easily as an expert on Jin Ling, on anything. Unsettling.

Yet unlike Nie Mingjue, being seen didn't seem dangerous; unlike Wen Ruohan, being noticed didn't accompany invitations to violence.

No, Jiang Wanyin observed him, and his conclusion was that Jin Guangyao could teach him how to hold his one treasure.

For the first time, it seemed like sharing a nephew with this man might be interesting, not simply alarming. Jin Guangyao looked forward to observing him further.

#pallas.rtf #mdzs #chengyao #my writing #i've never written from jgy's pov before 🙈 hopefully it's not too wrong #i wanted to show that jgy is the kind of person who is always thinking; always remembering; always connecting threads #you know. the kind of person who won't get dementia because his neural links are too vast and sexy #and also that he's afraid All The Time #anyway.#chengyao real #also that he plays with jiang cheng like a very stupid but cute puppy #this is deeply important to me and my chengyao feelings

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horreurscopes · 2 months

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i like my body when it is with your body.

#death note #meronia #near #mello #mihael keehl #nate river #mello dn #near dn #artists on tumblr #horreurart #been working on this one here and there for a long while. i love drawing mello's scar >:) it's like a brain coral or a very shitty maze.#also i cannot remember the last time i posted something even slightly racy so this feels rather scandalous #2024 is the year of posting sexy blorbo art i've decided...#anyway this literally happened in canon it just wasn't relevant to death note's journey. source: trust me #something kind of melancholic about this piece i think. it's like spying on them. it pulled that one ee cummings poem from the #deepest receses of my mind -- i hadn't thought about it in years. it's sooo romantique. to me #girl help the anime boys are in doomed love...#in my mind this forbidden rendezvous is happening in one of those abandoned love motels with heart shaped tubs and round mattresses and #mirrors on the ceiling and wall carpeting. it's kind of gross.#sometime between spk control room meeting and mello dying. rip king at least you got the love of your life laid once (1) one time

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egophiliac · 2 months

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MOMO!!!!!!!!!!

#art #ride kamens #SANJOU!!!!!!!#not even den-o just momo #which is both 1) hilarious and 2) the state of den-o since 2010 or so let's be real #(rip ryoutarou you were a very good boy)#anyway i had to drop everything to draw araki immediately #IT'S STARTING GUYS THE HYPE IS REAL #okay. so like...he's just straight-up momo and not sword form or anything so WHAT are the RULES here #i-is sexy anime ika devil actually a possibility or

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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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shoutout to taigen for being the most expressive character in the entire show.

you will never not know whatever the hell he is feeling or thinking at the moment because he will literally tell you (either very earnestly like when he traumadumps to mizu or very sarcastically which is the other 99% of the time he talks to mizu) or you will see it plain as day on his face.

this is the textbook definition of a man wearing his heart on his sleeve. look in the dictionary for what a "simple man" means and you will find taigen's face there.

like once you cut through the massive ego and pompousness he uses to mask his own insecurities and traumas, he is literally just some guy. he's not evil or stupid. not super kind or super smart either. an asshole but not the worst there is. he's incredibly skilled but he's not the strongest ever or even the most skilled. he is literally! just a guy!

y'all can hate him all you want but let's be real, taigen is actually the most relatable character out of everyone. like this man is POOR, he is PATHETIC, he is COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME, and most of all he is OBSESSED WITH MIZU. if that shit ain't relatable idk what is.

#taigen blue eye samurai #taigen bes #blue eye samurai #taigen is literally just some guy and i think that's hilarious #he's a pathetic wet rat but he's MY pathetic wet rat #also he's hot and sexy <3 #also if any of us lived in that era and society. chances are we would be more like taigen than anyone else lmao ykwim #what? you think youre as badass as mizu to get adopted by a master swordsmith and craft your own space sword and go on a revenge quest??#what you think you'd be born into royalty like akemi and go on to marry the shogun's son and deal with political manuevering?#you think you're kind and brave and useful enough to meet mizu and train under her as an apprentice?#if you do then more power to you. but i know i would be piss poor and bisexual. born and raised in the boonies. and very bitchy about it.#shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

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gay-jesus-probably · 3 months

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I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

#legend of zelda #hyrule warriors #for the record im picturing the sheik-mask reunion as being the spiderman pointing meme for like five minutes #also my mental image of sheik is extremely Bad haircut (he does it himself with a knife and doesnt care about making it even)#and a ridiculous tanline across his face from wearing a mask all day #OOT magiaclly growing out zelda's hair and manifesting a Royal Gown was some top tier bullshit and i'm always angry about it #like dude. literally all of princess zelda's finery was made for a ten year old #she's like eighteen now. nobody's making royal finery for teenage zelda. where was she supposed to get that dress.#i am eternally on my agenda to let zelda wear some goddamn pants without an immediate magic makeover to *fix* it #anyways nintendo's sexism aside i like sheik being trans its very fun and sexy of him #tfw you go into hiding to escape political assassination and accidentally trans your gender in the process

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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i wanna know more about svsss menopause

They synced their periods together too well. Now they are synced through their perimenopause years.

#Poorly drawn svsss #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shang qinghua #mobei jun #ask #I truly think that the peak of the SVSSS (peri)menopause era is just them commiserating over the experience of it.#Not pictured here is Liu Qingge barely suppressing his hormonal rage. He would have it *bad*.#I think Liu Mingyan is the only person who does not have a bad time with menopause because she takes estrogen supplements.#Which sounds like a trans headcanon but I think regardless of cis/trans status she's researched this and is prepared.#I have developed a sense for what menopause is purely by exposure to the various complaints I have overheard/been told.#These are all very specific and yet very common stories.#I do not know what the overlap is for SVSSS fans and people (not just women) going through menopause. I hope this is funny to SOMEONE.#It's an untapped market of potential! Too many young'uns in these woods.#Synced periods this. Ovulating that. Where's the menopausal homicidal rage?#Come on! Ripping off your clothing in a sudden burst of heat is *SO* SVSSS core!!! Make perimenopause sexy!!!#Anyways. Please put your menopause headcanons in the comments/tags <3 I'd love to hear them.#Thank you joblessmonday for following up with an ask and giving me an excuse to release this train of thought.

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abbijane · 6 months

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💗💗

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kristalijah · 7 months

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HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!! I REPEAT, HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!!

#i havent posted anything on this site for years and i talk for these bitches..... as it should be #hes doing the marceline sexy smoldering eyes too i cant take this #i havent seen anyone talk about this and i am LOSING it over this detail i need everyone and their mother to know this #i already commented about this on youtube and someone was already doubting like 'i thought hes looking at the lemoncarbs'#AND I WILL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. U CAN SEE HIS EYES GO DOWN (TO WHERE GARY'S ASSETS ARE) THEN UP TO MEET HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKS BACK #the lemoncarbs are clearly to the left where gary is staring at in horror.....keep up people.#he doesnt look at the lemoncarbs once until they started insulting gary's cute lil baking with the 'i hate their little faces' line #and then u can see his eyes move from left (to where lemoncarbs are) to right to look at gary again.#THERE. CASE OVER #I BETTER NOT SEE ANYONE INVALIDATE THEIR OBVIOUS FUCKING FLIRTING OR I WILL #cry. theyre very important to me. i love bubbline/gumlee so much i will die for them #its also funny that hes doing that NOW when our boy is clearly stressed tf out #its giving 'hate to see you leave love to see you go' energy lmaooo #gumlee #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #gary prince #marshall lee

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winemxmsblog · 1 year

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"do you dare wake your god, little one?"

inspired by "The General Zapped an Angel" by Karel Thole, 1970

#sometimes you just gotta have a lil nap in the ocean #gASP a giant sexy man #morpheus #dream of the endless #the corinthian #(very tiny)#the sandman #the sandman netflix #my art

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royalarchivist · 7 months

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Pac: I'm just gonna lay down here while you guys build, you know? I'm gonna- just gonna enjoy the moment, you know, it's such a good view here.

Tubbo: Lemme just- oh wait wait wait, lay down, lay down, lay down, lay down, lay down.

Pac: I'm gonna... ok?

Tubbo: Just- just lay down... [Las Casualonas dances on him] This is for you, this is for you, king.

Fit: [Immediately pulls out his potato cannon and shoots Tubbo]

Pac: [Laughs] Fit, you seeing this- [Laughs as Tubbo gets shot and set on fire]

Fit: [Still shooting Tubbo] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, misfire, misfire, misfire!

Tubbo: OW OW OW, you're gonna kill me, I only have 10 hearts!

Fit: [Still shooting Tubbo] Misfire, misfire, misfire!

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]

Tubbo: Fit, I'm so close to death-

Fit: I'm so sorry- oh Tubbo I'm so sorry [Hitting Tubbo with his scythe]

Pac: Oh my god, Fit!

[Tubbo dies]

Pac: FIT! Oh my god, the misclick...

Fit: I don't know what- it was a misclick!

Pac: Oh Fit, your keyboard is broken, right? Remember?

Fit: Yeah, it was a misclick, Pac, you saw it, you witnessed it, yeah.

Pac: Oh my god, it's the first time he has been like- oh probably not the first time, you see the skeleton right here? Right there?

Fit: [Laughs]

Pac: [Laughs] Fit, are you doing this every day? Are you killing Tubbo every day?

Fit: No I- this was my [embarrassed] first time killing him.... No, it was just-

Pac: ARE YOU SURE? Then who killed-

Fit: I don't know where the other dead body came from!

Pac: [Laughing] Oh my god...

Tubbo: I didn't peg you as the jealous type, FitMC.

Fit: I'm sorry, I just- it was a misclick- a misfire-

#FitMC #QSMP #PacTW #HideDuo #FitPac #Tubbo #Pac #Fit #I love them. I love them so much #love me a good slowburn with a little bit of protective jealousy thrown in #but also Fit you have nothing to worry about wrt Tubbo and his puppy love #Which I think q!Fit now knows because he didn't kill Tubbo when he called Pac sexy a few days ago #anyways WHOOPS this is very late #September 1 2023 #EDIT: missed a ''didn't'' in there. Fixed now

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asleepinawell · 6 months

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#this made me chuckle #I of course immediately handed it to the sexy devil lady because of course I did #I am nothing if not predictable #fallen london #cricket anyone?#flmp #mp #me chatting with mr wines like okay yes this is all very cosmic and interesting but you still owe me 84.69 echoes for supplying your parties

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yourlocalabomination · 3 months

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Bro I think they messed up my vocaloid order.

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