#that's way more tags than I've used in a minute wow

[haechwrites]

sugar, butter, & the royal crown - L.DH

prince!lee donghyuck x baker fem!OC (no name!)

synopsis: prince donghyuck only has one princess on his mind, but she's not actually a princess. she's just the royal baker's granddaughter.

wc: ~17.1k

warnings: pet names used only so i don't have to namedrop lol. no other warnings tho!

A/N: this is my second longest fic i've actually finished hehe i'm really happy with this one and now i wish i had a prince haechan lol

-- some things to note first:

THIS FIC IS WRITTEN IN FIRST PERSON. if you see ♔, that means it's in haechan's pov written in third person!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

As a child, life is all about the simple pleasures. It didn’t matter that I’d come home to a dark house carrying the faint snores of my mother. I was still reeling from the sweet taste of mangoes on my tongue, the slight dusting of sugar in my hair, and the lingering soreness from laughing in my cheeks. I’d quickly wash up, give my mom a quick peck on the forehead, and tuck myself in bed. Before I know it, the sun greets me again and I meet my grandma outside as she leads me to the palace. This was my routine and for my young brain, there was nothing ever wrong with it.

My grandma is the head baker at the palace. Since the separation of my parents, I have spent my days with my grandma at work. It was all I knew and I was content with it. Every sunrise, I’d have 30 minutes before I had to meet her outside. Together, we’d walk to the palace’s servant entrance and my grandma would give our favorite guard, Doyun, a warm smile and a promise to slip an extra pastry in his meal for letting me tag along. I’d walk past him with a finger to my lips asking him to be sworn to secrecy. He’d always return it with a wink and a small laugh. It was our little promise, though I’m sure no one would actually mind an extra guest on the grounds – especially a mere 7-year-old. 

Once inside the kitchen, I strap on the apron that the palace’s tailor secretly made specifically for me. Grandma told me that the busiest times in the kitchen were the mornings, so I always sit in the corner to let her start the day. I occupy myself for at least an hour before my friend comes to play with me. His entrance is always the same: a secret knock on the side door and a gleaming smile when I open it for him. 

Today he’s dressed up in a super fancy garment, almost like a uniform. I had never seen him in anything other than his casual button-up and pants, typically covered by an extra adult-sized apron we’d find laying around.

“Donghyuck! What are you wearing?”

“Princess!,” He’d squeal, pulling me into a tight hug. “It’s my special outfit.”

“Is it your birthday?” My nose scrunches in confusion, looking him up and down. Even if it was his birthday, I can’t imagine his servant parents could afford such expensive fabric. 

Donghyuck laughs before yanking a spare apron off its hook and pulling it over his head. 

“Nooo. I have something important to do today. That’s why I’m wearing this,” He explains, looking a little nervous.

“Oh wow. You look like the King. Or like a prince,” I say jokingly, but Donghyuck freezes. His eyes are wide like the time he accidentally ate the last mango tart I was saving.

Then he breaks out into an awkward laugh and smiles wide at me, “I am a prince… because you’re my princess.” He says with utmost confidence, before grabbing my hands. We’re standing the way I position my two play dolls during a pretend wedding ceremony.

I quickly turn the shade of freshly baked cherry pies and I tear my hands out of his hold.

“Donghyuck-ah! How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?” I huff, crossing my arms. 

He snickers, “Hmmm… maybe one hundred more times.”

“One hundred more times?!”

“Yes, if you can even count that high,” he smirks, instantly easing the tension from earlier. He plops down onto my stool and looks up at me. “So what are we playing today? Or should we read? Or does Baker Grandma need help?”

I aimlessly kick the leg of the stool, thinking about what we could do today as I can see him anxiously bounce around in his seat. He looks like he’s running on limited time today. Sometimes Donghyuck disappears on me in the middle of our hangouts or doesn’t show up at all. I just assume his parents need help with their tasks just like how Grandma often calls me to help her bake. He’s never told me where in the palace they work despite the years we’ve been hanging out. 

“What if we help your parents today?” The minute the question leaves my lips, I hear a snort from the kitchen staff and Donghyuck goes into a coughing fit as if the flour seeped into his lungs.

I begin to feel myself turn red again and wondering what was so wrong till I feel a familiar warm hand on my shoulder.

“Ah Donghyuck, you’re here today?” My grandma looks at his attire with a suspicious gaze. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Her hands are on her hips and it feels similar to the times she’s caught me using the oven on my own.

Donghyuck starts shyly giggling while fiddling with the oversized apron my grandma is reaching to remove. I stand there in confusion as he looks like a puppy that was told he wasn’t allowed to play or have a treat. I want to help him but the look on grandma’s face is too scary to fight.

She’s slowly ushering him out the door and I’m holding his apron in my hands, watching him pout.

“Bye Hyuck,” I mutter, sad that our day was cut short before it even began. This was the quickest that one has ended.

“Byeee Princess,” He says with as much despair in his voice. He always has to be a little more dramatic than me. I giggle and wave him goodbye, spirits lifted by his antics. I see a smile grow on his face at the sound of my laugh before my grandma closes the door.

My loneliness returns as I stare at the wooden panels of the side door. 

“Did he have to go?” I ask, slumping back onto the stool he was just on.

My grandma turns to me with a quizzical look. I can’t tell if she’s angry, sad, or disappointed and then she’s crouched down in front of me. Her flour-coated hands are resting on my lap.

“Donghyuck got called by his parents. They’re very important people,” She starts slowly. Grandma has never talked about Donghyuck’s family or personal life before. It was never brought up in the past because I assumed he was just like me. Now that we’re finally beginning to talk about it, the hesitant look on her face makes me not want to know anymore. 

“Guards?,” I ask. To me, Doyun is the most important worker in the castle as he freely lets me in and out. Maybe guards earn enough to adorn such fancy clothes I saw Donghyuck wear.

“No, honey,” She glances back at her staff, and I notice they’ve been watching. They give me a reassuring smile, but there’s uneasiness quivering on their lips.

“Donghyuck… Donghyuck is the Prince.”

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♔

They found him. Donghyuck’s personal guards find him where they usually do when he escapes his tasks, and that would be at the palace kitchen. This time, they find him outside the door, rather than inside scarfing down mango tarts. 

Without any hesitation and with no room for him to trick them and run, they grab the tiny prince and bring him to the meeting he was meant to attend with the King. It was meant to be the first glimpse of his life as a future ruler, attending meetings with fellow diplomats and other boring princely things. Donghyuck does not understand why he can’t spend his day playing like a regular 7-year-old with his pretty friend from the kitchen. 

Despite having complained and whined his way out of most duties, Donghyuck had reached the level of maturity to know that this one he couldn’t fight. I mean, the tailor adjusted his royal attire just for this one-hour meeting. After having come to terms with sitting in boredom for an hour, Donghyuck did not expect to be dragged into more as he was about to skip his way over to the kitchen once the diplomats left.

“And where are you off to now, Donghyuck?”

He freezes in his tracks and a shiver ripples down his spine at the sound of her voice. He’s been caught again.

He spins around, plastering the biggest smile possible on his face. “Nowhere, Mother. Just strolling around until my tutoring session.” He hopes she doesn’t recognize this path to the kitchen.

“And is your tutoring session located in the kitchen today?” She asks, words dripping with a patronizing attitude. Nothing Donghyuck isn’t used to.

“Oh! I wanted to see if I could get a quick snack before. My brain needs food, right?” He hides his crossed fingers behind his back, praying she doesn’t call his bluff.

“And you’re not just going there to see that girl, are you?” She takes a step closer and Donghyuck is scared she can see the drip of sweat beginning to trickle down his forehead. How did she know about Princess? He wonders if his guard ratted him out… even after Donghyuck gave him half of his tart. The betrayal, he scoffs. 

“There’s no girl, Mother.” Donghyuck decides it's best to deny it and stare straight at his feet. 

“You are correct, there will never be a girl. Instead, there will be a future queen. A princess for now and you need to begin meeting our potential suitresses,” The queen firmly states, grabbing his shoulders to steer him towards the library. Before he could stop himself, his chest bubbles with heat, and his brain is fogged with confusion. He can’t imagine anyone by his side but her.

“Why can’t she be my princess?”

The words spill out from his royal lips before he could catch them. There’s no missing the instant look of rage and disgust on the Queen’s face when her son’s true desires are revealed. Desires of the heart, but a complete disgrace to his duties as the Prince. Her eyes grow colder and her skin pales till her blush is the brightest hue on her cheeks. 

Donghyuck feels his throat go dry and the crossed fingers behind his back unlock. No luck can help him now.

“No more kitchen visits, Prince Donghyuck.”

The queen’s words are final. His shoulders slump lower and his feet are heavy as he drags them across the cobblestone trailing toward the library. It feels like there was a wall that slammed into the ground behind him, forbidding him from seeing her again.

“Yes, ma’am. No more.”

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^ FIFTEEN YEARS LATER ^

The only memory of my childhood that lingered was the heat of the oven. Like I did every day at the age of 7, I continued to bake to keep that fire alive. There were days where the warmth was cooler than normal and my urge to bake waivered. Days like when my grandma stopped showing up outside my house every day a half hour after sunrise. Days like when my mother decided I was too much to raise when I stopped spending my time at the palace. And days like the one when I moved out of the city to live with my dad. 

However, there were also days where the flame was ablaze. Days like when I got my own personal baking set. Days like when I got accepted into a baking school. And days like today, where I return to the city that pushed me out fifteen years ago to open a bakery. Despite the dismal circumstances of the day I left, I always felt the urge to return. It never felt right that I moved in the first place. Confusion still envelops my mind when I think about how my grandma stopped taking me to the palace for unsaid reasons and how my mother was incapable of taking care of me due to it. There had to be something more going on. 

Outside of this mystery of my childhood, my main goal was to return with my own bakery specializing in my soon-to-be infamous mango tarts. I had visited the city for the first time since my move before to scope out bakery locations. But today was the day that I officially move in, to both my home and bakery, and kickstart my business. My first task was to put up a sign displaying the bakery’s name.

“Oh my goodness… so it is true!”

Warmth blooms in my chest; I would recognize that voice anywhere. I flip around and I’m greeted with her same sugary sweet smile. My grandma looks just as she did before but her hair is dusted white like the flour she worked with. But she still smelled like spiced apple pie, my eyes watered in disbelief. 

“Grandma!” I ran into her open arms and I could feel her chuckle. 

“Oh honey, it’s been much too long. Look at you now… a beautiful woman before my eyes,” She’s smiling widely and I can see her eyes take in my features. Fifteen years worth of change and growth. 

“I’m sorry we haven’t been in contact much. I could barely find the time to tell you I was coming back.”

“It’s alright. All that matters is you’re here,” Grandma rubs my arms reassuringly. “And are you here alone? Or have you moved back with a lover?” The childish gleam on her face makes me giggle and I quickly correct her that I’m single and focusing on my baking.

“Ah, I see. In that case, you must have more time than I anticipated. You must come with me to work one of these days. Just like old times. Consider it research for your bakery.” The way she sways with excitement makes it hard for me to turn it down, and I can’t deny the flutter in my heart at the idea of stepping foot onto the palace grounds again. It was where it all started for me. I agreed with a smile.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After a week of prepping the bakery, I decided to visit my grandma. To be completely honest, outside of the work I had to do, my nerves did play a role in keeping me from going earlier. But now that I’ve decided I’ve run out of excuses, I’m walking to the servant entrance of the palace a little before noon to give my grandmother the morning to solely focus on work. It makes me smile knowing I still remember the schedule of the palace kitchen. 

The streets surrounding the castle are quiet at this hour. I can still remember the hustle and commotion of the staff in the early morning, lining up to get inside to start their days. It was never daunting to be a young girl surrounded by a diverse array of people. It was thrilling and almost comforting and it was much better than staying home alone. 

When I reach the gates, I feel like I’ve traveled back in time because blocking my path is a young guard who looks eerily like Doyun, the guard I knew from before.

“How can I help you, miss?”

“Hi.” I’m inspecting his face. He has the same colored hair, but it’s parted differently. He has the same warm light brown eyes and his face is a little softer than Doyun’s. My mind can’t help but ask, “I’m sorry if this is a strange question but do you know Guard Doyun?”

His stiff demeanor drops like a curtain and the young guard’s eyes light up, “I’m his son, Yunseo! How do you know my father?” Suddenly I don’t see a guard in uniform, but instead a bright, inviting individual in his place.

“No wonder! I’m the granddaughter of the head baker. I used to greet your father every morning when I was a child.” 

“Oh yes! Yes, she told me you were coming. You can go right along in, just make sure she knows to sneak me an extra sweet treat.” He opens the gates for me.

“Ah like father, like son,” I giggle, slightly bowing to him as I enter.

“Do you remember how to get to the kitchen?”

I stare at the familiar worn cobblestone paths and nod, “I think so.”

The walk to the kitchen is shorter than I remember but the smell wafting from the windows is all the same. I reach the side door and I’m about to knock when I notice it’s creaked slightly open. I hear a voice above all the kitchen noise.

“Gran, please sneak something in my food today so I can get sick and stay in bed for the whole week. I do not want to court these women.” I peek my head in further to take a look at the man speaking. I let out a soft gasp when my eyes land on him.

Outside of his stunning beauty, he looks familiar. His tufts of chestnut brown hair are slightly waved as they curl around the nape of his neck. He often shakes his head to get the bangs out of his face, exposing his tan skin. If I look close enough, he has distinguishable moles on the plush curves of his cheeks. His rosy lips are wrapped around a piece of pastry and even when he’s talking with his mouth full, he’s still attractive. My eyes instantly widen when I notice his outfit: the royal attire.

A squeal escapes my mouth and before I could hide, the door is swung open by my grandma.

“You’re here!”

At the announcement of my arrival, the young man is dusting the crumbs off his hands, and looks like he’s about to make a quick escape. 

“Hi Grandma,” I give her a hug, not minding the flour sticking to my sweater. “I was just about to knock.” I let out a small laugh to hide the fact that I was definitely eavesdropping not moments ago.

“Grandma?” I hear the man say behind her. He decided to stay after realizing it wasn’t one of his guards coming to get him, but instead a pretty woman. An oddly, familiar, pretty woman. 

My grandma bites her lip to keep from smiling any bigger and she grabs my arm to present me to the man.

“Oh my. I forgot you guys know each other! It’s Donghyuck, do you remember, honey? You used to play with him every day as I worked.” The glint in her eyes is something more than just happy nostalgia and I give her a look.

“Pri-... Princess?” When the old nickname leaves his lips, I gasp and feel my cheeks bloom pink. The layers of the handsome man in front of me started to peel and I could see the little boy I spent my early life with. Most of my warmest days were spent with him. But I’m also brought back to one of the colder days of my childhood. The day I found out my childhood best friend was the Prince. 

At first, I didn’t understand why my grandma was so fearful of telling me who he really was. I was ecstatic to hear that Donghyuck was royalty. I was fascinated and curious to see what his life was like and how it compared to being the granddaughter of a palace worker. I soon learned that what I wanted to discover was not so glamorous. Because apparently, his life excluded me. I didn’t piece that together until a few years after my move. Why else did Donghyuck stop showing up and why else was I forbade from going to the palace with my grandma? When I came to the realization, I began to resent him and eventually, completely forgot about him.

“Prince Donghyuck,” I bowed, trying not to show any expression. He had his arm slightly raised like he was about to reach for me but his body stiffened at my curtness. My grandma even looks at me with confusion. “It’s… It’s nice to see you again.”

“Oh, there’s no need to be so polite. You guys were friends!” My grandma squeezes my arms, urging me to get closer. I stay in my place.

“He’s the Prince, Grandma,” I whisper through my teeth and I can tell he hears me by the dejected look on his face. I can’t get myself to look him in the eyes.

“It’s quite alright. I actually have to get going. Prin-... Sorry, It was lovely to see you,” The Prince ducks his head and leaves the way I came in. He looks back at my figure once more, thoughts churning, before he disappears.

My feet remain still and I’m staring at the place he stood. Staring at the pastry he bit into. He’s real and he’s back. And the door he walked through was the same one he used to leave me 15 years ago. The alarms rang in my brain and I quickly shook my head, grabbing a bowl and mixing whatever contents are in it. The faster I stirred, the more I begged my mind to stop thinking about Donghyuck.

“You’re overwhipping the cream.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♔

On every page he turned to, the words blurred and all Donghyuck could see was her. She was more beautiful than he remembered. She’s much taller now, and he naturally smiles remembering when she used to argue that he was only taller than her by a centimeter. Her hair was also longer and not bound in her classic two braids. Though he didn’t get to see her smile, he was sure that it’s brighter than before. After all, everything about her seemed to have grown more beautiful than before. Donghyuck wonders if he should be calling her “Queen” now with how wonderfully she’s aged. 

A delicate tap on his shoulder forces Donghyuck out of his lovestruck haze. “Prince Donghyuck, are you enjoying your book?”

He remembers that he’s in the library with one of his potential suitresses. He turns to her and almost wants to laugh. For the years that his childhood friend has been gone, it was the memory of her that invaded his mind whenever he was forced to go on these dates. But now that Donghyuck has seen her again in the flesh, he realizes how doomed he is and how these other princesses definitely don’t stand a chance.

During the fifteen years apart, Donghyuck’s gloom exacerbated the Queen’s determination to find him a future queen. Out of all his regular royal responsibilities, his courtships took the most time. He excels in all areas of his duties, but the one he can’t manage to succeed in is getting a wife. From playdates to formal dates, Donghyuck aged and remained single. And both he and the head baker knew why. 

Despite the Queen’s warnings to never enter the kitchen, Donghyuck found himself there every week whether it was to steal extra mango tarts or ask about the baker’s granddaughter. It was usually after failed dates when he’d trudge into the kitchen, completely drained of energy, and beg the baker to talk to him about his first love. Questions about where she is, how she’s doing, and whether she thinks of him spill from his mouth, and the baker would entertain him every time. Even if he only knew and could only remember the child version of her, Donghyuck still managed to compare her to every suitress he met. None of them stood a chance against his princess. And though with time he could recognize how silly this infatuation had gotten, he grew fatigued of courtship and this was the easiest way to go about it. The grandmother was wary of this long overrun connection as well, but at the same time commended him for his commitment to her granddaughter. She also didn’t have the heart to tell him to move on.

And now Donghyuck’s here, on another date and he actually has an image, a real person, to be thinking of. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t think this is going to work out.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So you are hiding from me?”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” I drop the bowl of frosting at my feet and scramble to pick it up. A pair of far too expensive shoes enter my vision. I shoot up and my heart races, knowing exactly who it is.

“My prince,” I bow, meeting the ground once more. I stand upright and give him a passing smile.

“I like hearing you say that,” The Prince smirks. He swiftly scoops a finger of frosting before popping it in his mouth.

“Formalities,” I respond and I move the bowl out of his reach.

He chuckles and he starts to fiddle with an apron left on the counter.

“So you’ve been visiting at nighttime. Are you actually avoiding me?” He looks at me like he’s challenging me to say no. 

Yes. “No, I just prefer the kitchen at night.” I clutch the frosting bowl tighter and focus my attention on what’s salvageable.

“You mean my kitchen… which you’ve been sneaking into with the help of my guard.” I can feel that he’s moved closer and I wince.

“Yes… I’m sorry. My grandma said it’d be okay and my kitchen at the bakery isn’t finished being built. If you’d like me to stop coming, I can.” I start to untie my apron and his hand catches my wrist.

“No,” He blurts out. “There’s no need. Feel free to use the kitchen.” The Prince raises his hands in the air as if to give me permission. I politely nod and go back to fixing my frosting, ignoring the tingling I feel on my wrist. 

He doesn’t make a move to leave. Instead, he puts on the apron from the counter and leans in to watch.

“Um, what are you doing?” The Prince is tapping the table and humming as he stares at me.

“Hanging out,” He says matter-of-factly. 

“I see,” And that’s all that I can say because who am I to kick the Prince out of his own kitchen? So I just mix and continue doing my thing.

“Just like the old days. You do remember, right?” I make the mistake of looking up and meeting his eyes. He’s looking at me like his question meant more than just a test of my memory.

“Vaguely… It was a long, long time ago.” A time I don’t wish to relive.

There’s a short pause before The Prince replies.

“Well, I remember. I think I’ll always remember. You were my best friend… And those were probably the best days of my life.” He doesn’t look at me when he says this. In fact, he looks nervous to be admitting it in the first place. 

All I can do is nod, not knowing what to say to his confession. Especially when the feeling I get when I look back on those times is not as positive.

“Anyway… I’m planning on recreating those times.” Without thinking, I meet his eyes and he’s smiling hopefully. “So don’t try to hide from me next time. I’ll be here whenever you are. Think of it as your payment for using the kitchen.” 

The uneasiness and warmth in my stomach are hard to decipher. The thought of spending more time with him is thrilling and terrifying at the same time. I try to ease my nerves by mixing even harder and he notices before laughing. 

With my unspoken agreement, we spend the rest of the night in silence, just in each other’s presence. Every now and then he steals a bite of my makings and tries to lighten the air with a poorly made joke. And I don’t hold my laughter back.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“And then, once the frosting is on, you can add the strawberries.” I demonstrate by putting the nicely sliced strawberries on in a thin layer. 

“When are you going to teach me how to make the mango tart?” The Prince pouts and bites the strawberries instead of putting them on the cake. I scowl and move the bowl away from him. 

“When are you going to stop eating my ingredients?”

He smirks and taps the counter, “When are you going to stop using my kitchen?” He tilts his head to the side to goad me.

I roll my lips into my mouth and stuff another strawberry in his face when he laughs. 

“Eat up,” I say sickeningly sweet.

Completely out of my control, my hangouts with Prince Donghyuck have returned. However, this time, I know he’s the prince and instead of every day in the morning, it’s 2 to 3 times a week at night. My excuse is that my kitchen in the bakery isn’t done being built, but to be completely honest, I could have it done by the end of the week. Maybe it’s because I enjoy my time with the Prince or maybe it’s because I actually do want the extra amenities I asked to be installed last minute… who knows? The end conclusion is that I find myself in the palace’s kitchen more often than I intended, and I find myself enjoying the Prince’s company more than I intended.

“Okay, your highness. Do you think you can stack these layers evenly?” 

He gives me a playful salute, mouth full of cream, as he hops off the kitchen counter. He stands by my side and takes the cake from my hands.

“You know… as much as I like hearing you call me ‘your highness,’ why don’t you ever call me by my name anymore?” 

“Because now I know you’re the Prince.” And I don’t know how it feels to have your name roll off my tongue as it did before, I think to myself.

The Prince lets out a low whistle. “Do you see me differently?” He trains his eyes to the level of the cake to get it precisely right. I watch him from above.

“It’s been fifteen years… so yes, I do see you differently.” I move to mix more frosting to coat the cake with.

“Okay,” He nods, thinking about my response. “So me being the Prince isn’t part of it?” He glances at me quickly with what I can assume is worry before he goes to add another layer of cake.

“Mmm… It is. Not a big part, but definitely a part. I think it’s mainly because you’ve grown up, We’ve both grown up. Maybe me more than you,” I tease. He sticks his tongue out at me and I make a face back. “Example number one.”

He finishes putting on the last layer and stands up straight to admire his work.

“What makes me different than before?” He takes the frosting bowl from my hands and begins icing the cake like I’ve taught him a couple of days ago. I take this as a break and I lift myself up to sit on the counter, dangling my feet.

“You’re taller than me, for one,” he gasps in fake shock and I hit him on the shoulder. 

“You’re dressed nicer.”

“That’s not a compliment for me, that’s a compliment for my stylist,” He corrects me.

“True, okay. You’re smarter than before, I can see you’re not skipping your tutoring sessions. And… you’re not as cute.”

At that, he perks up, frosting is long forgotten. “What do you mean I’m not as cute?” And with the face he’s making, I almost take back my words.

“Well, your highness, you were a boy before. Of course, you’re not cute now. You’re a man.” I roll my eyes as if that were the most obvious thing.

“If I’m not cute, then what am I?” He squints at me and I can tell I’ve fallen into a trap.

“You’re… You’re handsome. Now,” I mutter out. I quickly clear my throat and point to a bald spot on the cake. “Hey, you missed a spot.”

Without even looking at him, I know he’s smiling. “You think I’m handsome.”

“Alright,” I drag out the word. “You’re the Prince. Aren’t you supposed to be handsome so you can woo and marry a pretty princess?”

“Not exactly. Being ridiculously handsome isn’t a royal requirement.”

I let out a scoff, “When did I say ‘ridiculously handsome’?”

“You didn’t have to, I see it on your face.” He taps my cheek and I suddenly notice how close our faces have gotten. Before I know it, my face is blooming pink again and I can feel the warmth shoot from my head to the rest of my body. I launch myself back and adjust my apron. And he stares at me like he’s won.

“Okay, your turn. What’s different about me?” I look around the kitchen to get my heart to settle down. What is happening?

The Prince doesn’t hesitate. “Well, you’re just as beautiful as you were before. Maybe even more.”

I gasp at his words and look him in the eyes. There’s no hint of his typical teasing attitude; he looks completely genuine. My mind goes blank and my ability to respond is rendered useless. He seems to notice that so he brushes off his comment quickly, thinking he’s overstepped.

“Anyways, since we’ve discovered that the only thing that makes me different from before is that I’m exceptionally more handsome-”

“Didn’t say that.”

“-Then why don’t you just call me ‘Donghyuck.’ Like you did before.”

Maybe it’s because he called me beautiful. Maybe it’s because I like the idea of exclusively calling him ‘Donghyuck.’ Or maybe I’m excited to eat the cake we just made, but my heart is fluttering quicker than it ever has.

“Okay. Donghyuck.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“FIRE! DONGHYUCK! FIRE, FIRE!”

“OH SHIT!”

Watching the medium sized fire bursting from the top of the pot, I run to the fire extinguisher. I’m scrambling to grab it, swift to squeeze the white dust all over the burning stove, despite the dough covering my hands. I hear Donghyuck’s screams in the back and he’s grabbing my shoulders to hide. Once I see the last flame get coated, I drop the extinguisher on the ground, exhausted.

I feel his hands digging into my shoulder blades and I grab him by the jacket, turning him to face me. Knowing how to cover his ass, he smiles in shame, rubbing my arm.

“I swear I was watching the stove,” He whips out his baby voice and try my best not to smack the side of his head. He’s the Prince. He’s the Prince. He’s the Prince, I repeat to myself. 

“Your looks distracted me.” I slap him anyways.

He groans in pain, even though I could’ve slapped harder and I cross my arms to look as threatening as possible. 

“You burnt the caramel,” I whine, staring at the black tar in my brand new pot. “And my pot!”

He immediately attacks me with a hug, shaking me around, mumbling apologies. “I’ll buy you a new one, I promise! I’ll buy you three! Four? Seven!”

“Make it eight,” I huff, tearing his arms off me, only to weirdly miss them.

He gasps, hands against his head in shock. “You definitely dressed prettier today just so I could set your pot on fire and buy you twenty more… You’re evil,” He looks at me like I’ve masterminded the biggest robbery of the century. 

I narrow my eyes at him, lifting my hand to smack him again. “And you’re on timeout. No more baking today.” I start putting away the dishes I had ready.

“Hey! Who’s older here?” Donghyuck begins helping me sort the supplies into the pantry.

“I’m pretty sure I am,” I say, trying to remember if we told each other our birthdays back then.

“When were you born?”

“May.”

“Shit,” He mutters. He tosses the burnt pot into the trashcan, wincing at the char. “Okay, let’s keep the ball rolling. What’s your favorite color?”

I laugh, “Really? Also should I save this dough for tomorrow when we try again?” I hold it up to show him and inspects it.

“Yeah, why not? Just wear a trashbag or something tomorrow.” I kick him in the foot and he chuckles. “But yes, really. What’s your favorite color? I like red.”

“Purple,” I play along while saran wrapping the dough. “Favorite food?”

“Kimchi jjigae,” he spits out, with no hesitation. I nod along, remembering all the times he’s requested it as a midnight snack while we bake. “What do you like to do besides baking?”

“I like to go on walks. When I moved out of the city and with my dad, we lived near the beach. It was nice to just walk on the shore only five minutes away from me. I miss it sometimes. I should probably visit soon.” I tap the bowl mindlessly, trying to figure out my schedule.

“You should take me,” Donghyuck says. He’s right next to me now. “I always wondered where you went after I stopped seeing you. I assumed you were still in the city, until your grandma told me you moved-moved.”

“Ohh, no, yeah. I moved. It was hard leaving everything I knew, but at the same time, I learned so much when I was there with my dad. Come with me next time, and we can hangout on the beach. Nothing should be too flammable there.” I tease, bumping his hip with mine. He laughs with me, but I can tell his mind is somewhere else. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks almost guilty.

“You know, when I found out you were the Prince, I wrote down a list of questions. I was so excited to see what your life is like.” 

This grabbed his attention and my heart eased seeing his eyes light up a little more. The kitchen was relatively clean now, so I decided to prop myself up on the counter. Donghyuck always gets mad at the sudden height difference, but I can tell he loves it when he naturally wedges himself between my thighs like he does right now.

“Yeah? Do you remember any?” His hands were pinned on either side of my hips, forearms pressed against my outer thighs. It’s comfortable. I’m not sure when we got so comfortable. “This is kind of like ‘Princess and The Pauper.’”

I snort trying to remember my list. “I think I wanted to know how many crowns you had.”

“Classic question. I’m pretty sure I have three. My head’s kinda small, so it actually takes awhile for them to make it.”

I hum, investigating his head. “I can tell.”

“Mean.” He lightly pinches my thigh and I stop staring at his skull.

“I also wanted to know if you had any royal pets.”

“A cute, small, white dog. Yep.” He nods, like he’s impressed with himself for having such a basic dog and I have to laugh. 

“Any cool cars?”

“Tons,” He brags. “Okay, what does ‘Adult You’ want to know?”

There’s always been a question I wanted to ask him since I started hanging out with him again. It nagged in the back of my mind as I watched him, always happy, always cheering everyone on. Despite his bright facial expressions and body language, I could tell it was tiring, it must be. I never imagined the royal life to be hard, or as hard as my own, until I met him again.

I look at his face, checking for any signs that I shouldn’t be asking him. But he looks at me with such softness and openness, that I don’t hesitate to ask.

“Are you happy? Like… do you like being the Prince?”

His eyes widened at my question and he looks down at my lap to think. He takes longer than I expect, and I assume no one has ever bothered to ask. His silence is telling.

“Hey…,” I reach for his face to lift his chin up. “It’s okay to say you’re not. You don’t have to be all the time.”

He flinches like this was a concept he couldn’t accept for himself. I grab his face a little tighter so he really hears me.

“As long as you’re at least looking for your happiness, that’s all that matters,” I stroke his cheek with my thumb. “You deserve all the happiness, Hyuck.”

I can see his mind slowly wrapping around my words as something in his face shifts. He looks hesitant for a different reason.

“And what if I find my happiness in you?” I gasp, instinctively letting go of his face slightly. He’s fast to bring his hand up to keep mine there. His fingers slot between my gaps. He looks desperate to keep me here.

Knowing my words hold immense weight, I still don’t stop myself from saying, “Then I’ll be that for you, in whatever way I can.”

Despite me being vague, Donghyuck takes all that he can. His face blooms into a smile and I return it, knowing it was cause of me. He holds my hand this time and brings it down to my lap, sighing happily.

“Thank you.”

And for a split second, I’m scared for what I’ve promised. After all, he’s the prince and I’m the pauper.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♔

Donghyuck is the happiest he has ever been. Unlike how it was when he was a kid, he’s attending his classes, his meetings, and even having lunches with the princesses the Queen sends over. However, he can’t promise that these dates are leading up to a potential marriage. He’s doing just enough so that his mother doesn’t get suspicious. Best of all, for most nights, he gets to sneak into the kitchen and talk, bake, and laugh for hours.

The secret hangouts are going amazingly. He can tell she’s warming up to him as she did back then or maybe it’s just the fire from the oven heating up the place. Last week, the kitchen at her new bakery finally finished being built and he knows this because he hired his staff to make sure the job was done well without telling her. That day he expected her to come in and tell him that she had to stop seeing him, but she still showed up like clockwork – two to three times a week. 

Next week, her bakery is set to have its grand opening and Donghyuck hopes this isn’t what actually stops her from coming to see him. He’s even practiced his baking skills on his own and eaten less of the fruit while they’re together in hopes it doesn’t make her want to leave again. And so for the following week, Donghyuck is treading carefully.

“Do you need help with that, Princess?”

“Should I preheat the oven for you?”

“Here, let me tie your apron.”

“I’ll carry that for you.”

All of these mini acts of chivalry are met with a suspicious gaze and a light dusting of red on her cheeks. Donghyuck feels a sense of achievement whenever she accepts his help. And this all leads up to the night before her grand opening.

Donghyuck is lighting the last candle when the sound of keys unlocking the side kitchen door is heard. He quickly blows out the match before scurrying behind the table to greet her with a “Surprise!”

“Donghyuck! Don’t do that! God, I thought I was caught for sneaking in.”

He rolls his eyes at her lackluster reaction and reorients himself. 

“I said… Surprise!” He dramatically waves his arms around to show all the work he put into decorating the kitchen. She finally notices her surroundings and her eyes light up. Donghyuck can feel his heart soften, compared to how it was racing earlier trying to set all of this up without his staff.

“What… what is all of this?” Her hands are covering her mouth in disbelief. There are streamers and fairy lights gracing the walls and candles are littered all around the room. Donghyuck is standing in the center with a single cupcake in his hands.

“Congrats. I heard from the grapevine that your bakery opens tomorrow.” She laughs at his theatrics and sets her bag down to look at the cupcake he’s made. In messy red font, the top of the treat reads the name of her bakery. She almost wants to tear up.

“Only one? Are we sharing?” She takes the cupcake from his hands and he tries not to think too hard about her fingers touching his.

“Well, I made that myself, and I personally don’t trust that I didn’t mess up the recipe in some way. So if anyone’s getting food poisoning tonight, it’d be you.” He taps her nose. “Eat up!”

At that, her jaw drops and she keeps the cupcake at a distance as if it’s some nuclear substance.

“Do you secretly want me dead?” She laughs.

“Hey, when it comes down to a royal and a baker. The baker’s going.” Donghyuck mimics his throat being slit and bites his lip to stop himself from smiling too hard. He loves to mess with her.

“You are the worst. Way to look out for your people, your highness.” She begins to unwrap the cupcake, taking a sniff out of precaution.

“‘Your Highness’? Aw, Princess, don’t be like that.” He moves closer to her and she shifts back, tutting.

“Nope. As a baker under your kingdom, I will gladly sacrifice myself by eating this cupcake. Alone.” She dramatically curtsies before going in for a hesitant bite.

Donghyuck swiftly beats her to it and takes a large bite out of the other end as her lips touch the cupcake. Her eyes widen in shock and he sends her a wink before brushing the crumbs off his mouth.

“Now you can’t tell me I don’t care about my people,” He says while chewing the weird texture of his creation. Donghyuck smirks at the deer-in-headlights reaction she has on her face. 

She gulps, shaking her head so that her hair hides her blush. She sets the cupcake down, not wanting a reminder of how close his face just was.

“Well, it’s edible,” She jokes. Donghyuck’s tongue prods the inside of his mouth as he takes in what was supposedly a compliment.

“Says the one who took the smallest bite known to man,” He accuses, pointing at the cupcake.

“How was I supposed to take a bigger one when you practically shoved your face into it and devoured half?” Once again, she’s reminded of what just transpired and feels her cheeks growing warm.

“Ooo, did I make you flustered? Scared your lips were about to touch mine?” Donghyuck takes a step closer and brushes a nonexistent crumb off her lip with his thumb. He hopes she doesn’t feel his heart pounding like fireworks.

Like she can sense his fake confidence, she grabs his wrist. “Is that what you were thinking about when you took a bite? Kissing me?” She tilts her head to the side and his whole body buzzes.

Before he could crumble even further, he tears his hand out of hers. “Please. Like I’d let anyone touch these royal lips.” He turns around to calm himself down and pretends to busy himself with something on the fridge.

He hears her laugh behind him. “I bet they’re not as sweet as a baker’s.”

He turns around and narrows his eyes at her. “How did this grand opening celebration turn into you messing with me?” Accepting defeat, he resorts to fake anger and his signature pout.

“You started it,” She playfully rolled her eyes. “Anyways…”

With the softest smile, she says, “Thank you, Hyuck. I really appreciate you.”

He returns it, “Always.”

The rest of the night is filled with laughter and playful bickering as the two avoid finishing the mysteriously textured cupcake. Donghyuck makes multiple attempts to pit the blame on her as the teacher, and the soon-to-be bakery owner fails to leave and sleep early at the expense of the Prince’s whines. To be honest, the lack of sleep was worth it if she got to spend more time with him.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Now that the bakery is well past its grand opening and flourishing greatly, I’ve gotten my days back. My employees are well-trained and seasoned and I feel comfortable taking days off when I need to. Oddly, my new opened-up schedule was somehow sensed by Donghyuck and I was invited to the palace during the daytime for the first time ever. I was nervous at first to be sneaking in in broad daylight, but he assured me that if I followed the steps he gave me exactly, I’d be fine – not that reassuring. 

As written in his note, I greeted Yunseo, the guard, as usual, and he gave me weird looks, going back and forth between the sun and my face.

“You know the sun is out, right?” He asked, still looking at me funny.

I gave him the most incredulous look. “You’re joking? It’s not nighttime?” I made an effort to crazily look around and he sighed.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” He shook his head. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d switch things up,” I shrugged, not wanting to reveal who I was meeting.

Yunseo nodded, “Fair… okay, be careful, okay? The palace feels a little frantic today.” With that, he opened the gates for me and I gave him a smile.

“You’re the best. Make sure to stop by sometime this week, I have pastries for you.” I waved goodbye as he promised to come. 

Following Donghyuck’s poorly drawn-out map, I realized our meeting point isn’t the kitchen and that he’s taking me on an obscure path that the Queen and King definitely are not aware exists. As I walk through centuries-old, dimly lit stone walls, I think about how many times Donghyuck has used these secret passageways and if little Donghyuck used these when he snuck out to see me, 15 years ago. I can imagine 7-year-old Donghyuck discovering these routes within the castle’s walls.

“Stop right there!” A voice echoes through the abandoned hallway.

My heart spazzes and as loud as my brain is yelling at me to run, my feet don’t budge. I curse under my breath and crumple Donghyuck’s map in my hands, remembering to kill him unless I die right here. And if I do happen to die here, then I have to make sure I return as a ghost, haunting that man for life. I turn around slowly, eyes half closed, to see who’s behind me, but there’s no one there. There’s no one in the passageway at all. I whip around a few more times to confirm and I notice a crack in the wall to my right. It’s a peephole overlooking the actual palace hallways.

Out of curiosity, I look through and I see the Queen, face as red as the beautiful gown she adorns.

“Prince Lee Donghyuck,” his name is spat out like bile. “You will follow my orders.”

Coming into view, I see Donghyuck. He and the Queen are in the middle of a heated argument. His head is hung low and I can see him playing with his sleeves like he does when he gets anxious. I wish to reach for him, but then I remember the wall separating us.

“Your majesty, I… I can’t. I don’t want to,” He hiccups, and if I can’t see the tears on his face, I can hear them. “I never did.”

The space in my chest feels as tight and narrow as the walkway I’m in and I want to look away, but I can’t.

“It doesn’t matter what you want. You are the Prince and you are expected to marry a Princess. How dare you fool me for all these years?” As the Queen, she still carries her natural elegance, but her words burn like acid. She’s speaking to him at a normal volume, but her tone pierces your ears. 

“I-I didn’t mean to fool you. I tried my best, but I don’t love them. I don’t love the suitresses you send. And I need you to understand that I never will.” Donghyuck finally looks up and I can see the desperation in his eyes from where I stand. 

“Love?,” The Queen laughs bitterly. “I don’t need you to love them. You just need to marry one. As the Prince, what makes you think you have the privilege of being in love? Not when you have a country to rule.” There’s less anger in her words and more disappointment. 

Donghyuck winces, looking like he’s fighting back what he wants to say. His bottom lip is trembling and the grip he has on his sleeves is tight. His whole body practically shakes. Eventually, he lets go.

“If I’m not meant to love someone, then explain to me why I already do. Explain to me why I love her? Explain to me why I can’t have her?!” 

Tears are rolling down his cheeks like heavy rainfall. “I never asked for this!” He screams, and I wonder to which he’s referring to. 

My body is sweaty like I ran a mile and I feel like my breathing can be heard through the wall. He never mentions my name, but I know, I can feel, that he’s talking about me. My whole body is buzzing and I don’t know whether to feel ecstatic or sad. Despite my confusion, one feeling is clear: fear. Before I can hear what the Queen has to say, I run. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♔

“Oh God. Sorry, I was supposed to get here before you. I was supposed to be part of the surprise,” He smiles meekly, praying the puffiness from crying doesn’t make him look strange. He accidentally sniffles and hopes she blames it on the flowers and his chronic allergies.

She’s sitting in the garden chair next to the tea table Donghyuck had set up an hour ago. He scoped out a secluded spot in the royal garden and slowly put everything together. He moves to sit down across from her and she’s staring intently at the cup in front of her. 

“I asked Gran what your favorite tea is and brewed some for us. I know I don’t have your baking skills, but if we get hungry, we can sneak back to the kitchen,” he playfully winks, trying to hide the fact that he was in the worst state five minutes ago. Although he can’t bake, he can definitely make a good batch of tea. He hopes it hasn’t gone cold. 

He waits for a response, but she’s still frozen, chewing the inside of her cheek. Maybe he’s still on edge from his argument with the Queen, but she doesn’t look happy. This is definitely not the reaction he was expecting.

“Do you wanna try the tea? I bet it’ll amaze you so much, you’ll beg me for the recipe,” he teases. The teapot hovers over her cup, but she makes no move to accept it.

“Okay, no tea. That’s fine,” Donghyuck chooses to laugh it off. “Do you wanna walk around? Most of the garden is secluded so we don’t have to worry about someone catching us.”

“Would that be so bad?” The first words she whispers strike him with confusion. Her voice is dry like she just strained it.

“Huh?” He tilts his head, scooting his chair in closer to hear her.

“Would that be so bad?” She says, unable to bate her anger. “Being caught with me? Would his royal highness hate being found walking with me?”

“Hey,” Donghyuck grabs her hand from her lap, interlocking his fingers. “What’s going on?” She tears her hand out from his hold like it stung and he feels like he’s making mistake after mistake.

“I-I’m sorry, is this too much? I wanted to do something nice for our first date outside of the kitchen. Was this a mistake?” He starts to stack the plates, quickly discarding his work. “I usually don’t plan these myself, so I’m sorry if this is bad. I-”

Donghyuck sees her wince in his peripheral and feels her hand on his wrist as he’s about to haphazardly dump the tea in the bushes. Her hands are cold today.

“Date?” The word leaves her mouth as if it made her sick.

The alarms go off in Donghyuck’s mind. “Date? Did I say date? Sorry, I actually mean-”

“Donghyuck,” she cuts him off. He can see her harshly swallow. “Why are you doing this?”

He blinks. “I… I wanted to do something nice for us. It doesn’t have to be romantic if you don’t want it to be. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Donghyuck can feel himself beginning to ramble.

“No. Why have you been hanging out with me? If it’s because you feel guilty about ditching me all those years ago, forget about it. I don’t care anymore.” She looks at him with so much intensity, not only trying to convince him, but convince herself that none of this matters.

“Princess, please. No, it’s not out of pity. You know that.” He shakes his head almost violently, begging her to believe his honest intentions. He was shocked he had to convince her in the first place, always assuming she knew his heart better than him.

Completely ignoring him, she continues, “And why aren’t you married yet?”

“W-what?” Similar to whiplash, Donghyuck feels like his brain has just been jostled. Are his ears tricking him and forcing him to relive the traumatic conversation he just had with his mother? Why is this topic being brought up?

“You’re the Prince,” she says like it’s an unwavering fact. “You’re meeting with princesses weekly. You’re meant to rule side by side as King and Queen. Why… why aren’t you married yet?” She asks and her eyes are ice cold like her hands. 

She too closely resembles the older woman who was just yelling at him moments ago. The casing around his heart begins to harden and the feeling he gets from the girl in front of him is now anger. The same bitter taste returns in his mouth.

“Are you serious?” He looks at her and the Donghyuck she knows has washed away. Betrayal, rage, and sorrow are painted across his face. It was like she was looking through the peephole again.

“Don’t ask stupid questions you know the answers to,” he mutters, words barely making it past his tight lips. He’s breathing much harder than before.

“Answer me. Why. Aren’t. You. Married.” Her hands are gripping the edge of her knees to stop them from shaking. 

Donghyuck stares at her for a long time, eyes flittering over every facial feature, confirming that she actually wants to hear the answer. Her face is firm and her question is set. He takes a deep, pained breath and leans back slightly.

“It’s because I love you.” Not like the confession he imagined in his head, Donghyuck reveals his long-term feelings like this was their end and not their new beginning. The period at the end of a sentence. The last page of a hardcover book. The last second on a timer.

She simply nods, stiff in the neck. She excuses herself before standing up, bowing, and walking away.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“That’ll be $6.06. Would you like your receipt?”

The cash register dings with another purchase and I slump back in my chair as the customer leaves. It was a slow and agonizing shift with only two more hours till closing. It’s also been a slow and agonizing two weeks. 

I’m haunted by what went down at the royal garden almost every hour of the day. At first, I was using every chance I could get to skip work and wallow at home. But suddenly the plants in my room reminded me of him and the teacups in my cabinets smelled like the tea he prepared for us. So for the second week, I decided to dedicate myself to work. I’ve been coming in every single day and overworking myself to the point where my employees don’t know what to do but stand around. I debate whether or not to let them leave early when a familiar head of brown hair walks in. My heart picks up its pace and it’s like the teacups all over again.

“Donghyu- oh. Hi, welcome!” I smile wide, trying to hide the previous disappointment drawn on my face. The customer gives me an awkward smile back and begins browsing the pastry racks as I mentally slap myself.

I slump down to the floor behind the counter and silently groan in my hands. Why does every male brunette customer these past two weeks remind me of him? And why are there so many of them? Like every other time I’ve confused a customer with Donghyuck, the guilt begins to creep back into my system and I get flashbacks of our last conversation. 

“Why aren’t you married?,” I mock my own voice. “Are you stupid?” I repeatedly hit my palms against my head when I hear a ding from the counter bell. I quickly shoot up and brush the bangs out of my face, hoping the customer thinks I’m at least slightly normal.

“Hi, how can I hel- Grandma!” On instinct, I glance behind her, foolishly hoping he’s hiding behind her tiny frame, and my shoulders slump when I’m met with no one. So now I’m really imagining him.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, composing myself.

“Just checking in on you. I notice you haven’t been coming to the kitchen because when I come in in the mornings, my counter is actually clean,” she jokes. I smile sheepishly and nervously adjust the apron string around my neck. 

“Sorry, it’s usually Donghyuck’s fault,” I quickly clear my throat, answering a little too fast. “The Prince, I mean.”

Grandma’s eyebrows shoot up at the mention of his name and she looks down at her feet, suddenly fidgety. I notice her change in demeanor instantly. 

“Speaking of him…”

“We don’t need to,” I cut her off. “Speak about him, I mean.” I wince at how suspicious my words sound.

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I’m just curious… if anything happened between you two.” She whispers the last part, looking back at the customer to make sure he can’t hear. She clears her throat and steps behind the counter with me, naturally rearranging the bread in the display case. She busies herself while encouraging me to speak.

I gnaw on my lip, tapping the counter, debating if I should finally talk it out with someone. I’ve only been talking to my employees about bread starters and yeast.

“We fought.” I admit.

“About?” Grandma loads the case with more bread. I start passing them to her one by one. 

“He told me… he told me he loved me.” I press my lips together and I hear her head hit the top of the display case and the bread hit the floor. “Grandma! Are you okay?”

I crouch down, grabbing the top of her head to inspect, and she’s giving me the most incredulous look.

“He told you he loved you?!” She squealed at an embarrassingly non-discrete volume, making the customer drop the pastry in his hands. He’s looking around, frazzled, and I can see him debate whether or not he should pick it back up.

“Don’t worry about it! I’ll clean it up!” I screamed from behind the counter. 

“Grandma, keep it down,” I curse through my teeth.

She’s rubbing her head and shaking it in either pain or confusion.

“I know, I know. A Prince saying he’s in love with the baker’s granddaughter is farfetched and unrealistic. I get it.” It’s what has been circling through my brain every day.

“That’s not what I’m confused about, dear.” She looks like she’s debating what to say next. “Did you not hear?”

“Hear what?” At the end of my question, and like a universal sign, the door jingles and the mailman is rushing in, hair swept back by the wind. 

“Sorry! I forgot to drop this off this morning. It’s urgent mail.” He salutes and is out the door as quickly as he enters. 

On the counter is a letter with the royal stamp. My stomach feels queasy assuming this is the first contact I’ve had from Donghyuck since our fight, but I can’t help the naive smile that breaks out on my face. I rush to open it, not worrying about the papercuts. Every doubt that was just in my head disappeared and my grandma interjects, hoping to bring me back down from my high.

“Sweetie, wait. I need to tell you that-”

To the owner of Princess Bakery,

Prince Lee Donghyuck will be celebrating his union with Princess Nam Soohae on 26 May, 2023 at the royal garden grounds. The royal family requests a wedding cake to be made with your expertise and culinary skills. 

Please accept this royal assignment with details soon to come.

Signed,

The Lees

The words on the page silenced me and my thoughts, my breaths barely leaving my lips. My eyes kept darting across the paper; the calligraphed words are being repeated over and over again in my brain. 

Prince Lee Donghyuck.

His union.

Wedding cake.

Realization finally dawns that this isn’t the love letter or apology I was expecting from Prince Donghyuck. A breath finally escapes and it’s shaky as it wavers in the air like an offkey music note. A heart-stopping pain envelopes my chest and it seizes up to my eyes. The whites of the paper burn my irises. I catch a teardrop splattering onto the parchment. I’m haunted with images of Donghyuck at the altar with someone else. And then I’m thinking about the garden. And us. 

Surprise.

Our first date.

Because I love you.

Because he loves me? Because Prince Lee Donghyuck loves me? Prince Lee Donghyuck who is getting married to an actual princess in a week? Suddenly, it feels like the floor’s unsteady and the oven temperature was turned up to the highest. The letter wrinkles between my fingers and the ink smudges with salty tears. 

This is what I was afraid of. And yet this is what I set myself up for. I knew I should have stopped seeing him. I knew it the moment mango tarts began to remind me of him. The moment my secret ingredient of love found in every bake was powered by him and his place in my heart. Even though I meant to stop this from happening during our talk in the royal garden, that small teaspoon of hope was still sprinkled in my mind. That hope stayed every time I saw a plant, a teacup, or a brunette. But now it’s dissolved.

A new feeling washes over me. One that I haven’t felt once these past two weeks. Not false hope. Not heartbreak. And not regret.

Anger. 

“Don’t blame him.” 

My grandma’s words slice through the red and her hands on my arms attempt to calm me down. I look up through wet lashes, lips trembling.

“Donghyuck… Prince Donghyuck had no say. The royals… they never do.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be my grandma?” I clench my jaw to stop the shaking, slightly regretting my bitter words. 

Her grip is softer. “Oh honey, I am. And that’s why I’m telling you not to waste this energy on being mad at him. What you guys share is beautiful, don’t let this taint it.” She takes the letter out of my hands and physically turns me to face her.

“Shared,” I corrected her.

“Share,” She corrects me. “Your love for each other is seen by everyone. I know it can’t flourish the way love is supposed to, but at least cherish it for what it was.”

Her words reintroduce more feelings. Sorrow. Frustration. 

“I was really hoping this time it works out…” She voices my thoughts.

At this point, I’m hiccupping between breaths, caught between reliving the past and hearing these explanations. The world was never meant to have us together it seems. But at least I was told this time we had an ending.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The next royal letter came two days after the first, and I was called to spend a week in the royal palace to test out different wedding cakes. I essentially had no choice but to say yes as the royal chauffeurs picked me up every morning to take me there. It felt like those sunrises with my grandma when I was seven but the butterflies in my stomach turned into bees. Unlike the past, I prayed I wouldn’t run into Prince Donghyuck, but with him having requested I make his cake, I’m sure he knows I’m here.

My grandma designated a portion of the kitchen to me as the head baker and it mimicked the old days as much as it could. That was until I got a visitor on the second day.

“Good morning! I’m Princess Nam Soohae.”

My eyes widened and my whisk fell out of my grasp as I took in her presence. She’s beautiful. She’s an actual princess. Her bright, toothy smile would’ve made anyone smitten if it weren’t for the fact that she was about to marry the man I loved. The pretty pink dress she wore was tinted green through my eyes. I shook my head, trying to remind myself of my place. 

“Good morning,” I bowed. “I’m the baker in charge of your wedding cake.” My smile faltered only slightly with the mention of the union.

She giggles and I almost want to laugh with her. “I know that, silly. I was sent by the Queen to sample some. Or should I say my future mother-in-law.” She bites her perfectly manicured nail with excitement.

Soohae leans her hands on the counter and peers at the bowl in my hand.

“Is there any to try right now?” Her head surveys the kitchen like a kid looking for cookies. It’s genuinely hard to dislike her.

“Um, I have a few cakes placed to the side to cool right now. There’s no frosting on it yet, but I’m sure it’d be good to try the base first!” I move to grab one of the trays and she flutters to follow me.

“Ooooh!” She gushes. “I’m so excited to try it. My own wedding cake, can you believe it?”

“No.” I almost drop the cake. “I mean, yes? Sorry. Getting married to the one you love is… it’s a crazy thing.” I cut a piece of cake and place it on a plate for her.

She doesn’t hesitate to take a bite and as she chews, she thinks. 

“I don’t love him yet, to be honest. This cake is really good, by the way.” I start cutting a slice from the other cake to sample. “But I know I will love him eventually. I already get butterflies when I look at him. I trust that he’s the one for me, I mean have you seen him?”

Before I can agree, and thank god she doesn’t give me a second to, she continues, “I know it’s silly for a person in my position to believe in the one. But I really, really do think it could be him. The other day he brought me my favorite flowers, like how did he know?!” She pops a bite of the other cake in and her eyes light up.

“Oh this is the one! Don’t even think about giving me another,” The Princess reaches for another bite and applauds me.

I laugh and make sure to note to go with the lemon base and not the mango one. As my hands are about to toss the mango cake away, my mind stops me and I consider whether Donghyuck would prefer this instead. The clanking of the Princess’s fork on the plate, finishing the lemon cake slice till it’s crumbs, reels me back and I let the cake fall into the garbage. It feels eerily like a metaphor.

For the rest of the week, Princess Soohae visits me and taste tests the frosting, fondant, and other things she wants. With every passing day, I hear more about Haechan and I can feel that her words have turned fonder. Coincidentally, her sweet tooth has gotten worse and the final components of the wedding cake are a complete sugar bomb like her personality.

On my final day, the Queen joins her. The last time I saw her majesty, she was berating the Prince as I secretly watched. It felt like I was in that hidden passageway again as she watches me prepare a slice of the wedding cake for her. My hands shake, placing the plate down in front of her and her gaze is sharp. It’s interesting how harsh her energy is when her facial features are as soft as the Prince’s. She looks like she’s been through a lot and I wonder if Donghyuck will experience the same thing when he fulfills his role as King. Like she can tell I’m thinking about him, The Queen’s eyes narrow. 

“I hope you enjoy,” I bow, and she doesn’t say a word. Princess Soohae on the other hand is completely bubbling over how good it turned out and how her guests are sure to love it too. 

The Queen simply nibbles on a piece and nods along. The black and white vibes almost give me whiplash as I stand there, watching the two of them. A sweat forms on my hairline and I’m internally glad this is my last day. I can’t go through this any longer. 

And like a karmic jinx, the kitchen door opens and a familiar brunette walks in. This time, it is him.

“Oh my! Prince Donghyuck!” Princess Soohae scrambles off her chair and bows both gracefully and clumsily. I bow as well, trying hard to hide the immediate blush on my face I get whenever I see him. I wonder if I can stay bowing so I don’t have to meet his face. The last time we saw each other was when we talked at the royal garden, and as much as I prayed I wouldn’t run into him here, truthfully, a part of me also hoped I would.

As soon as I force myself to stand up straight, we lock eyes and the strain in my chest loosens like a snapped thread. I can feel my lungs fill with air and it’s relieving to see him again after so long. It hurts in the best way as I’m overwhelmed by his presence. That familiar brown waved hair, the sunkissed tan skin, and the plump smiley cheeks. Everything is how I left it but his expression is not one I expected. He’s in complete shock and I don’t know what to do but look around the room to find something that would cause such surprise. I quickly glance at the Queen, and for the first time since she sat down, there’s a small lift in the corner of her mouth. Is she smirking?

“Princess?” He tilts his head, still staring at me before he realizes what he just called me. “Princess! Princess Soohae! I came to get you.” He runs over to grab her hand and the lifted cheekbones on her face tells me she’s grinning. 

“What- uh- what’s going on?” I’m fixated on the way he fiddles with her hand as he looks around the room for answers. 

“Cake testing? How did you forget, silly?” Princess Soohae laughs as she playfully pats his cheeks. Everyone in the room can tell she’s head over heels and my stomach hurts. As I’m clutching my stomach and the Prince stares at me quizzically, there’s one person in the room watching all of this go down.

“She’s the wedding cake baker we outsourced, Prince Donghyuck.” The Queen says calmly, gesturing to me. She tells him like it’s his first time hearing this and I’m taken aback, my movements making the utensils on the table quiver slightly.

“He didn’t know?” My mouth was too quick to voice my thoughts. “His highness, I mean.” I bow in apology.

“No. No, I didn’t.” His hands are at his side now, gripping the fabric of his sleeves. The shock left his face and now he’s staring at me with pity and then silent anger when his head turns towards the Queen. My eyes follow his and she returns his look as if to challenge him to say more. 

Completely obvious to the shift in atmosphere, Princess Soohae raves about the final wedding cake decisions and begs the Prince to try a bite. He turns her down without sparing a glance and asks her to leave with him. He doesn’t give me a second thought as he breaks eye contact with the Queen and drags his future wife away. There’s no stopping the ache that fills my chest again, slow but strong like the rising tide.

“So he still likes you.”

Snapped out of my haze, my ears don’t believe the words I hear coming from the Queen’s lips.

“Pardon?” She’s looking at me now and it’s a mixture of disappointment and disinterest etched on her face. The warmth on her face has depleted. 

“My son. Prince Donghyuck. He still likes you,” she laughs dryly. “After all these years…” 

My eyebrows furrow and I feel myself getting dizzy. Maybe this is all some sort of hallucination and the Queen isn’t talking to me right now. I grip the counter for support, and she doesn’t wait for me to respond.

“You know, I thought I handled the issue 15 years ago when I asked the head baker to stop bringing you here. I was stupid to think it would be that easy when he purposely sabotaged every date I set up for him the years after.”

She’s twirling the fork on the plate now and the scrapes make me flinch. The kitchen no longer feels like a safe space for me right now as her words slowly suffocate me. 

“And when he started to actually go on these dates this year and report back to me that they’re going well? I was foolish to think it was him beginning to try. I saw you one day, back in this kitchen. Back in his life. It all made sense and it made me so angry.” Her hands grip the fork handle. They’re dainty, but if you look close, they’re calloused, indicating years of work. Her face appears the same. If it weren’t for the terrifying state I was in, I would’ve wanted to comfort her. She looks up at me, and I felt tinier than I did before, her eyes piercing into me. 

“Do you not understand the life I’m trying to set up for Donghyuck? He’s the future king. He needs a queen, a real queen to survive in this world. As the queen, I know firsthand what he needs. My king wouldn’t be anywhere without me and his mother who set me up with him. You’re not fit for this role and you never will be.” She finally sets the fork down with a clatter. 

“Listen to me, and let him go. It’s what’s best.” Her threatening nature fades as quickly as it came and she gracefully stands up, brushing the nonexistent debris on her gown. The Queen gives me one final look, waiting for me to bow and essentially agree, before leaving the kitchen. 

The air returns and I grasp my chest to let myself breathe. Tears prick the corner of my eyes as I choke back sobs.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Remember, it’s the room on the right hallway. Third door. And if anyone sees you, don’t tell them I sent you. I’ll get in trouble.” My grandma hammers in the details one more time, waiting for me to nod in confirmation.

It’s the end of my final day and she asked me to deliver pastries to a room in the palace before I leave, saying her workload is too large to be going herself. I figured it’s one more thing I could do before I never step foot in the palace again. I almost turned her down earlier in fear of running into the Queen. Just the thought of that happening makes me feel sick, but I know I won’t be seeing her again after this anyways.

I scoff, “So you’d rather I get sent to the guillotine?” I tease her with an exaggerated horrified look. 

She easily flicks my forehead, despite our height difference, and I grab it wincing. “You’re lucky I don’t chop off your head myself with that attitude of yours.” She sneers at me and I giggle.

“Fair…,” I playfully mutter, soothing the area between my brows.

Her directions sent me to a room with beautiful brown double doors. I smile at the two ladies standing outside of it and I’m about to explain why I’m here before they cut me off.

“Pastry delivery for the Prince?” They say in unison.

Like a horror movie, my jaw drops and I lose my instinct to run. One thing I do know is to make sure I yell at my grandma later as I nod and tell them they’re correct. She completely set me up.

On another occasion, I would’ve appreciated the doors to Prince Donghyuck’s bedroom more, but right now, they look like the gates of Hell. I attempt to swallow whatever saliva was left in my suddenly dry mouth as I brushed my hair out of my face. The ladies allow me to knock on the door. My palms are sweaty as I shakily knock on the varnished wood, hearing it echo into the space on the other side. His room must be huge.

No responses are heard. This was my out, but my body was telling me not to leave, even though my mind was screaming to run. Instead of knocking again, I turn the knob and almost wish it wasn’t unlocked, but it was.

There he is on the other side, scribbling at his desk. His back is facing me and I watch the muscles in them move with vigor. I haven’t seen him work this hard since he convinced me to teach him how to make a creme brulée and accidentally made scrambled eggs with the yolks.

I shut the door behind me and hope it catches his attention, but it doesn’t. I gulp, realizing how very real this situation is and I almost want to throw up knowing I have to speak.

“Hyuck.”

I hear him inhale and he spins quickly out of his chair to look at me. Different to how it felt seeing him in the kitchen earlier today, his face is softer, accepting my presence. My heart floats in my chest, wondering why I was so nervous to see him when just the sight of him oozes comfort. He looks at me like he’s feeling the same way. I see the longing in his eyes and the way they warm, I close my own to stop myself from giving in too much.

“Princess.”

His voice is fragile and his choice of words makes me shut my eyes harder, scared that I’d lose all my resilience and run straight into his arms. He doesn’t correct himself this time, and he says it again with more confidence.

I finally peel them open and force myself to act cold. Just an hour ago I was finishing his wedding cake; this fire has to be extinguished.

“Princess Soohae will make a great queen.” I move to set the pastry basket down on a table near me.

“It’s not what you think. I was going to-“ He turns around in a frenzy and grabs the paper he was just writing on. The Prince takes a step closer and it takes all my strength to recoil. It takes all of me not to be swayed by the obvious hurt on his face. This will be good for us, I have to remind myself.

My hand is up, drawing the line. “You don’t have to explain. It’s not what I’m here for.”

He hesitantly puts his arm down, eyebrow twitched in confusion. The paper is still in his hands.

“I got you a gift,” I partly smile. “A wedding gift and I guess, also… a goodbye gift.” With that statement, I break away from his stare, fixating on a corner in his grand room. 

I hear paper wrinkling. “A goodbye gift?” His voice gets lower and it causes me to wince. It feels like all the tension in the room gathered in the small vacancy in my chest and the overwhelming pressure makes my eyes sting. I can already feel the tears build up as I play with the hem of my shirt. 

“Mhm,” I painfully affirm. “The wedding cake. It’s both my gift and my goodbye. I thought you requested it when I first got the royal letter,” I laugh at the situation, trying to stop myself from letting him see me cry.

“Turns out it wasn’t you, but regardless. You’re getting married and I can’t be here anymore. So I left it in the kitchen. Obviously, it’s not a goodbye-goodbye, since I’ll still be living here in the city, but… No. Yeah, it’s a goodbye,” I nod to myself, trying to unravel the knot in my throat. “I guess you took my advice, huh? Congratulations, your highness.”

The silence from him is thick and it leaves a sour feeling in my stomach. It calls me to look up at him, and his eyes are icy cold. The sweet honey brown is as dark as coal.

“This is your response?” His words are robotic, I can feel the venom on his tongue as it pricks at my heart.

“S-sorry?” I tilt my head, not understanding him. It felt terrifying to make him repeat himself in the state he’s in.

“I told you I loved you. I’m assuming this is your response.” My eyes flicker to the paper in his fist, no longer readable. Neither is his face as he gives me the blankest look. It makes me want to cry more knowing this is how I will remember our last moments.

This time, I do take a step towards him but he’s shaking his head aggressively, lower back pressed against the edge of his desk. Now I know how he felt.

“If you want to hear me say ‘I love you’, you know I can’t do that.” Just having those three words leave my lips causes a tear to roll down my cheek. 

“Because I’m the Prince?” This time, his expression changes to match mine. I can feel the frustration and pain radiating off of him, and all I want to do is to tell him what he needs to hear. But I just nod, forcing a distance.

“So it always mattered. What if… what if it was 7-year-old Donghyuck asking his princess? What would you have said? You didn’t know who I was back then. I was just… just Donghyuck.” He sighs, his body is limp as he settles onto his desk. I notice his frail build, worried that he’s been eating less.

I smile, fondly remembering the ignorant bliss from 15 years ago. But then I’m forced to remember our situation now, our ugly situation where our hearts are demanded to stay silent. 

“I would’ve told him I loved him too.”

And with that, all strength is gone as I sob into my palm. I’m trying to force the wails in, but my body is shaking. My legs feel weak and he’s over here and his arms are wrapped tightly around me in a second. I can feel his heart beating against my arm trapped between our bodies and his breath shakily blowing on the top of my head. One hand is holding me tight and the other is brushing through my hair as he shushes me. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” He repeats. A part of me thinks this is to calm himself down too. 

I know I’m right when I slowly pull myself back and see the red in his eyes and on the tip of his nose. My hand flinches as I’m about to caress his cheek. His breath is steadier as it now fans across my face and his eyes are lidded like they’ve finally got some rest. My hesitation vanishes as I let myself cup his face, trace the constellation painted on his cheek, and feel the sweetness of his lips on mine. The warm sensation that envelops my body makes me gasp and Donghyuck tightens his embrace on me, refusing to let go. He tasted better than every sweet treat I’ve had combined. He was intoxicating and my whole body buzzed like a sugar rush. 

I close my eyes tighter, savoring the feeling of his lips, wanting to remember every trace — letting myself be selfish this last time. He’s sugary, cozy, and soothing like the afternoon sun on my back. His mouth moves with such ease against mine and it feels like I’ve been kissing him my whole life. The feeling of his tongue gently nudging my bottom lip jolts me back to reality and I push away, seized by the cold air of his big room again. 

I bring my hands to my face, hoping to cool down the flush. The Prince is breathing as heavily and in sync with me, and all I can hear is our matching breaths and the ringing in my ears. I have to end it here. 

“Um. Congratulations on your wedding,” I say in one breath. I don’t dare look at him as I quickly bow, scrambling to his door. 

“Princess! Wait,” He grabs my wrist, almost too tight. “I can’t go through with this. Please, I-I only want to marry you.”

“Your highness…”

“Don’t. Don’t call me that. Say my name, please. Call me Hyuck. Call me Donghyuck. Anything but that. Just don’t-“ His teeth are chattering and he blinks away the tears. “Don’t leave me again.”

Without a second thought, I’m shaking my head ‘no.’ Even with tears blurring my vision, I can see the hurt on his face and I feel a part of my heart rot. It pains me just as much to reject him, but the Queen’s words swirl around in my head, unrelentless. I’m forced to leave him and my heart here and I want to scream, but I can’t. He notices that. It reminds him of himself.

Letting the finality of my decision settle in, he lets go of me, taking in a shaky breath. This was our end.

I restrain myself from taking any steps towards him as I reach for the door behind me. The wooden panel swings open, gliding past my extended fingers as I’m met with the face of the Queen.

That same hand shoots up to touch my lips, remembering what just happened in here and I bow till my hair grazes the tiled floors. 

“Your Majesty,” I squeak. She looks at me with a million emotions and plants her glare at the Prince. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together, her face twists into anger, dissecting the situation. I take this as my cue to leave but the Queen shuts the door behind the both of us. I don’t hear the Prince make any moves to save me.

“What were you doing in there?” She angrily whispers between clenched teeth. Not sure what comes over me, but the fear I felt before is gone. Instead, I’m left feeling numb.

“Don’t worry. I was just saying goodbye.” I swallow, bracing myself for her reprimands. 

A beat passes, before she speaks, this time in a normal tone. “Are you done?” 

I nod, “Yes, and I’d like to be excused from attending the wedding to serve the cake.” The Queen’s eyebrows quirk up, shocked that I’ve made a request. I look her straight in the eyes so she knows I mean it.

“I can’t… I can’t be there for that. I believe I’ve done all the preparation I can and I am not needed to actually attend.” My confidence waivers, and I draw my attention back to the ground.

“Fair enough. You don’t have to attend. I’ll tell the other bakers to serve it.” I take my chance to meet her eyes again and I can almost see concern on her face. I shake my head of that ridiculous thought, and offer her my best smile.

“Thank you, your majesty.” I bow before dragging my feet off the palace grounds. Hoping to never set foot in here ever again.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Bells. I plan to remove all bells from my bakery. The royal wedding bells have been ringing all morning and I don’t need any more reminders moving forward. 

I spent the whole night crying after leaving the palace and then my anxiety kicked in, trying to get me to map out my life without him. Naturally, I planned to pour myself into work and here I am, out of bed, manning the shop by myself on his wedding day. I may have cried into a batch of dough in the morning, but baby steps are important. This is only day one anyways.

I realized I made a mistake leaving the house when I overheard everyone in town talk about the wedding of the century. I even let my employees off for the day, mainly to have my space to wallow alone. Practically everyone was outside the palace gates, waiting to get a glimpse of the couple. The streets were currently empty and I wonder if I should just close up shop. 

Right when I was about to count up the cash and close out the register, the bell on the door jingles. I’m halfway into the one dollar bills when I roll my eyes at the sound, pressing my lips together to stop a groan. I make a mental note to remove the bell before I leave.

I look up to check on the customer and I see a man with, of course, brown hair surveying the bread on the back wall. All I can see is the back of his head as he peruses. I scoff to myself at the instant fluttering of my chest at yet another brunette customer. Is no one blond anymore? Are gingers that rare for me to never encounter one in my bakery?

I finish counting the ones and I move onto the fives when I realize he’s still standing in the same spot. I’m organizing the bills in my hands as I examine him. Normal guy. Black hoodie. Jeans. 

Maybe he’s just really indecisive. I can see him tapping his foot from the counter. I decide to offer help after I finish counting the five dollar bills.

With the last dollar to count, I place it in the tray and slowly walk over to the man. As I get closer, my stranger danger instincts kick in and I suddenly regret my decision. His foot is still shaking and from this close, I can see him fidgeting with his sleeves in front of him. I grab a pair of tongs from the closest case and approach him.

“Excuse me, sir? Can I help you find something?” I have the tongs gripped with both hands, discreetly but ready to swing. 

I see his body tense and my breath hitches, thinking I’m really going to have to hit this man with my makeshift weapon.

He turns around painstakingly slow and I raise the tongs instinctively to block my face, before letting out a squeal.

But then I see his face. And different bells go off.

“Oh my god. Hyuck?”

The bags under his eyes are prominent and I finally notice the way his hair has been pulled in different directions. His lips are dry as he cracks a sheepish smile. He’s rubbing the back of his neck and notices the kitchen utensil in my hands.

“Were you gonna hit me?!” His mouth is open in surprise and he’s taking the tongs from my hands. I let him and put my hands up in defense.

“You were standing there for so long, all fidgety! I’m alone in here, what was I supposed to think?” I fight back, taking the tongs back and clutching it close to my chest.

He lets out a long sigh, seemingly frustrated with himself as he runs his hands through his hair. I hate that I find it attractive.

“Wait.” He looks up at me through his lashes, swallowing. “What are you doing here?” I ask. He blinks, knowing that question was coming. 

I expected to feel sick awaiting his answer, but instead my heart is racing, anticipating his next words. I almost feel that false hope I felt a week ago, and I try hard to deny it. But the way he’s looking at me leaves me with no doubts. 

I’m about to push him out the door when he digs a hand into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. The wrinkled piece of paper from yesterday. He plays with it in his hands as he thinks about his next move.

“I was drafting a request to get the law changed.”

His words peak my interest. I set the tongs down and let him continue. Wrapping my arms around my waist for security, I’m fearful of what he has to say next.

“I’ve actually been working on it for the past two months.” He flattens the paper out in his hands. “You caught me finishing the final draft yesterday. I didn’t expect it to take up until my wedding day…” He laughs, unhumored by the situation. 

He hands it to me. “This is an old copy now, but it’s actually already being reviewed by the King. Right now. Being who I am, I fled just in case.” 

He looks at me anxiously as I read the top of the page, the words in bold:

Formal Petition to Repeal the Royal Marriage Ordinance 

Written By Prince Lee Donghyuck

My eyes don’t believe what’s written, like the royal letter I received not too long ago, requesting I bake the royal wedding cake. The same royal stamp and all rests in the top left corner. 

This time, I can read the words clearly. They settle into my chest, leaving me with such a funny feeling. I read the text and I can tell it’s written by him. I imagine him staying up every night after we meet in the kitchen, working by himself on this proposal. All of his hard work for the past couple months was printed on this very paper. All this work… for us. 

I feel my cheeks wet from pure joy and I cover the smile straining my mouth. A rush unfurls through my body like sweet, sweet sugar and I look up to share it with him. 

“Donghyuck… You-?”

“Marry me.” 

He gets down on one knee, holding my free hand. He’s rubbing that one spot on my ring finger and it feels unreal. The gleam in his eyes reminds me of the toasty fires in the oven, the glistening mangos on his favorite tart. His smile matches mine, nervous just slightly, and I want to paint this memory in my brain forever. The love and desperation in his eyes are begging me to think of him. Think of us. Every fear that had been eating away at me the past month was overcome by his pleas. This paper and his actions are proof that we can happen.

He continues, 

“Princess, please marry me. I’ve only wanted to marry you almost my entire life. I know that sounds crazy, but how can I doubt my obvious soulmate? You always come back to me, but I still don’t want another reason for you to have to leave. So please, trust me and trust us. Forget everything and everyone else and say you’ll marry me. If this petition doesn’t pass, I’ll continue to fight. Just…

Say you’ll be my princess forever.”

I tug his hand softly to get him to stand up. He obliges and I free my hands to hold his face. He finally breathes and closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. I can feel him relax and his hands rest on my hips, drawn like a magnet. My mind is bouncing back and forth trying to contain the frenzy in my heart and the steady warmth of my core. I tap his eyelid lightly with my thumb and ask him to look at me. He opens them slowly, fear still trickling in his irises. I smile at him.

“My Prince,” His breath hitches. “I love you too.”

Donghyuck wastes no time tucking his head into my neck and lifting me against his body. He spins me around between the cases of bread and I giggle, feeling his heart beat erratically against mine. He softly lets my feet touch the ground and we’re looking at each other again, tears adding sparkles to his eyes. I wipe them away instantly.

“Thank you for coming back,” he whispers, but it feels like he said it with his whole being.

“Always.” I say with just as much commitment.

We’re cherishing the moment together, laughing at how happy we get to be, when the wedding bells go off once more. I look at him with confusion and he shrugs, just as lost.

“I can’t believe my wedding cake is going to waste,” I pout, remembering all my hardwork. And he squeezes my hip at my choice to be silly, snickering.

“I can’t believe you went with a lemon cake. Do you even know me?” He teases, pretending to be hurt. I gasp, slapping his chest.

“I’ll make sure to go with the mango tarts for ours.” I press a soft kiss on his lips and he smiles with me, pulling me unbelievably closer. 

“I like the sound of that,” Donghyuck hums.

“I’m sure you do.” I laugh.

Donghyuck and I stand there in each other’s arms for as long as our legs allow. We talk about the past, how it felt to leave each other. We talk about the garden and I admit to catching him talk to his mom, which explains everything he needs to know. Even as I’m profusely apologizing, he’s doing the same, saying sorry for putting me in such a situation. I choose to ask about Princess Soohae and he bites his lip nervously, telling me he hasn’t handled that predicament yet. I almost drag him out of the bakery at the sound of that. We even go over his repeal proposal and I call him out for some typos.

Eventually we move to the kitchen, doing what we do best, and what we’ve done for years, waiting for someone to find him. The Prince and his Princess.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A/N: i hope you enjoyed!! pls like, reblog, reply, whatever!! if u want hehe

#lee donghyuck #lee haechan #haechan fic #prince haechan #royalty nct #royal nct #nct dream #nct #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #haechan oneshot #haechan blurb #haechan imagine #haechan scenario #haechan fluff #haechan angst #haechan fanfic #lee donghyuck fic #haechan x reader #lee donghyuck fluff #lee donghyuck fanfic #lee donghyuck imagine #lee donghyuck oneshot #nct writing #haechan writing #haechwrites #haechan #lee donghyuck x reader

[torukmaktoskxawng]

tsamsiyu ta'em - a new leaf part one

Masterlist - part four

Summary: Kayla learns the way of the Omatikaya and gets to know a bit about her brother's family.

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 6k+

Taglist: @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n

Warnings: canon-compliant, canon-typical violence, mature language, adult content, slow burn, polyamory, found family, cool aunt agenda, alien/human (technically avatar), jake sully sister agenda, time skips, I'm trying to hurry up and get to the good parts so bear with me, fluff, angst, adopted spider, tags to be added

A/N: I both hate and love my fic's title. Every time I read it, I accidentally read it in my head as 'tiramisu' XD

When Kayla emerged from the Longhouse the next morning, Jake greeted her with a beaming, knowing smile. She did her best to glare at him, slightly defeated that he had convinced her to come back, but he wasn't deterred. He smiled genuinely, even when she shoved at him to get out of her space.

"Wow. Still not a morning person, huh?" He grinned.

"Get fucked." She hissed, a bit of a sore loser that way.

"Yikes. Still got a mouth, too," he laughs, genuinely surprised by the foul word. To be honest, he hasn't heard language like that in a while. It felt nice to get a small bit of that human culture back, even for a minute. With Kayla still used to that military lifestyle, Jake has a small part of his old routine pop back into him. "Could you do me a favor and maybe refrain from mouthing off in front of my kids? Neytiri would definitely blame me if she ever heard Tuk say 'shit' in her sweet voice."

Kayla snorts at the image of that playing in her head, "Sure. No problem."

"Kayla! Jake!" Norm, still in human form, waved over to them. The siblings walk in his direction while Jake looks around, sighting a group of Na'vi calling out to each other and getting ready to leave.

He taps Kayla's arm, "Hey, I have to be on this morning hunt. Norm will show you around and give you a better tour of the place. If he gives you a hard time, let me know."

"Copy that," she replied automatically, barely looking in Jake's direction before he gives up saying anything more and left, knowing when she was being dismissive. Kayla pushes on and meets Norm where he stood waiting, hands on his hips again as he watches Jake head in the opposite direction.

"Of course, he gets to go on the hunt and fool around while we do all the hard work," Norm playfully rolls his eyes, trying to lighten the mood, "That's Toruk Makto for ya."

"Huh?"

Norm peers up at Kayla oddly before a thought dawns on his face and he scowls to himself, "Right. Need to catch ya up to speed. We can do that while we work today. First I need to get into my avatar suit. Let's go."

He leads her back in the direction of the biolab, but they don't get far before Kayla is suddenly tackled into a tiny hug around her waist. The woman nearly falls back in shock, frozen about what to do when she looked down and recognized Jake's youngest kid beaming up at her with her thin, blue arms still wrapped around the taller woman's waist.

"My dad said that you're my auntie!" Tuk exclaimed.

Kayla is still taken aback by the child hugging her before she could even register Tuk was speaking in Na'vi, not English. She was too amazed by the little one who is barely shorter than Norm in his human form. Kayla could only imagine how short she would be standing next to Tuk if she met the little girl in her own human body. Still not realizing that she needed to form a response, Norm smiles and takes pity on Kayla, stepping into her view, "She says that you're her aunt."

Blinking, Kayla comes back to reality and tries offering Tuk a pitiful smile and a gentle pat on her shoulder, "I suppose I am."

Norm repeated her phrase in Na'vi, and Tuk squeals excitedly in response, "I've never had an auntie before!"

"Tuk, for the time being, maybe you should talk to Kayla in English until she gets the hang of Na'vi," Norm gently explains to the girl while barely nudging her with his elbow. He winks when she meets his eyes underneath his mask, "She's barely understood 'nari' yet."

Tuk laughs while Norm looks around, "Why don't you go play with Popiti? You'll see Kayla at dinner."

"Will she sit with me?"

Norm chuckles before glancing back up at Kayla, who had remained quiet during the whole exchange especially since she couldn't understand half of it, "She's asking if you will sit with her at dinner."

A small warmth bleeds through to Kayla's heart as the little girl stared up at her with the cutest, roundish yellow eyes she had ever seen. Not even the cat she had back at home had a face that could stop wars in their tracks. Tuk continues to plead with her eyes before Kayla finally relents, her posture melting while addressing Norm, "Only if you sit with me so I'll be able to talk to her. I want to ask about her songcord."

Norm repeated what Kayla said, but he didn't have to. Tuk caught onto enough of it as she squeals in happiness again, squeezing Kayla's waist one more time before she runs off. Kayla stood still in the place where the girl left her before turning back to Norm, "Did I say the right thing?"

Norm's smile is full of pride, "Sure did."

She feels a little lighter after that, gladly waiting outside the biolab while Norm hops into a link bay. Kayla watches the People around her, going about their day with her new, sharp eyes, observing how they walk, talk, and even blink. It was interesting to watch how they all converse with one another, spotting a few exchange 'good mornings' by placing their fingers on their forehead and lowering their hands in the direction of the person they were speaking to. Kayla tags that bit of information and stores it in the back of her mind for the time being as she heard footsteps approaching her so she turns around, being met with another avatar.

"Ah," He's definitely Norm with that unique tone of voice and that familiar grin. He stood taller than Kayla and he even draws attention to that when he compares their height by measuring with his hand. He flashes a cheeky smile, "That's better."

Kayla scoffs, rolling her eyes even when she felt her lips twitch, "Dick."

"Right this way, Short Stack," Norm continues to laugh while holding his arm out in the direction he wants her to go, "I wanna get the fun stuff out of the way."

The first place on their to-do list was the rookery. Norm takes her to the edge of camp, out to the edge of the mouth cave before looking back, "You a heights person?"

"That depends," Kayla began without looking over the ledge, stubbornly keeping her eyes on the avatar in front of her, "What's below us right now?"

"Nothing that can catch you."

"Then no, I'm not."

"I don't mean to be blunt. But we're Mountain People now. If you wanna stay here, you'll have to get over it quickly. You could climb down from the vegetation acting as bridges if you want. But the only real way to get on and off these particular mountains is by ikran."

He beckons her forward and demonstrates shuffling his feet to test the rock with his weight, then clings to the side of the mountain as he walks along a narrow ledge going around the outside of the rock face. Sucking in a sharp breath, Kayla looks down at her feet as she shuffles forward, trying her best not to look down while figuring out where she was stepping. While Norm kept his back to the wall, Kayla practically hugged it to her front, hands grasping tightly onto whatever part of the rock she could hold onto.

They shuffle far from High Camp and toward the outskirts of the mountain. As they get closer to their destination, Kayla hears the echoing screeches from the day before, along with the loud and heavy flapping of wings. She only clings harder to the edge of the mountain. Norm rounds a corner and disappears behind a waterfall while Kayla tries her best to keep up without quickening her pace. She squeezes behind the waterfall and signs in relief when she finds Norm standing on a more sturdy platform, carved into the mountain deep enough to be far from the cliff edge. The male avatar smiles and nods in approval before pointing in the direction opposite the waterfall, "Welcome to the rookery."

Kayla peers through the water and gapes. Large cliff sides jut out of the mountain, creating large nests full of the flying creatures she encountered yesterday. From where she stood, she can only see a few dozen of them, all of different sizes and colors.

"And these are Mountain Banshees. Or as the Na'vi call them... ikran."

"Wow." She exclaimed, awestruck.

"These are the rogues," Norm explains, "The ones without riders. For now, we'll stay away from them. Follow me. The claimed ones are below us."

Kayla spun to Norm, tilting her head in bewilderment before Norm walks close to the edge again, the only thing between him and falling was the waterfall. Peering over the edge, Norm takes a small leap down and quickly catches himself by the ledge, holding his whole weight up by his fingers. Kayla had nearly gasped out of fright but bit the sound back when Norm clearly appeared to know what he was doing. Using the momentum, he swung himself down and calls up to his student, "You coming or what?"

Kneeling down and clinging onto the cliffside for dear life, she peered down over the ledge and noticed a cave mouth underneath the platform she stood on, with Norm waiting for her at the entrance. Not as confident as him, she doesn't jump down, instead, she slowly folds herself over the ledge and carefully dangles from the side before finally dropping down, only remembering to breathe once she felt solid rock under her two feet. Norm pats her on the back in sympathy before walking into the large cave mouth. Kayla follows and notices that the cave wasn't dark at all, daylight clearly lighting their way, but from where she wasn't sure. As they trudge further in, she could hear more calls and squawks, staying close behind Norm until they walk right into a clearing.

At the center of the cave was another large nest full of ikran with a large hole acting as an exit for these creatures high above them, lighting the whole place up like a skylight. These particular ikran had riding gear comfortably secured on each of their backs, varying different shapes and colors depending on the ikran and their rider's taste in style. Although tamer, the banshees still hissed and snapped their jaws as Norm walked by, who had turned around to beckon Kayla to follow.

"Stick close. Careful not to look in their eyes."

"Got it."

He brings her over to a small group of ikran who chose to huddle close and nest together like their own little family. Dark navy blue, and teal lightning stripes flash in Kayla's vision and she immediately crouches down in fear as Norm calls out to the beautiful blur. An ikran is towering over him in size as it answers to its rider, squawking in feigned defiance. Up close, Kayla could see two pairs of eyes, one smaller than the other, and rows of obsidian-like razor teeth. Norm grinned and happily fed it a raw piece of meat from his cargo shorts' pocket before turning to introduce him, "This one's mine. This is August."

Kayla catches her breath, laughing nervously as she stood back up on her unstable legs, "Cute."

Norm chuckles and pats the beast's neck before pointing over to another banshee off to the side. It was a lighter blue almost teal color for the whole body with purple and splatters of darker blue stripes to make up for the rest of it, "That one's Jake's. He calls him Bob."

She scoffed, "Poor thing."

"You can have one of these too, ya know."

"Really?"

"Sure, if you wanna learn the Na'vi way and eventually become one of us," Norm beamed like a little kid explaining his favorite game, "To become taronyu. Hunter. "

"Oh, yeah? And when can I get my own ikran?"

"When you're ready," Norm gives August one more loving pat on the neck before breaking away, showing Kayla the way back to the cave entrance, "First, you gotta learn the language and get a better grasp of it. Then, you gotta train and learn how to hunt, and only when you make a clean first kill will you be allowed to try and claim a banshee. After that, you must successfully survive Uniltaron, the Dream Hunt. These are the steps every young Na'vi must take before they can complete their Iknimaya and officially be seen as an adult in their clan."

Kayla nods accordingly, still confused about some of the words regardless of Norm explaining them, "How many clans are there?"

"Several. Too many to name off on my fingers, and I've only ever met a few," they make it back to the cave entrance, and Norm steps aside to allow Kayla to climb back up first, "They stretch through the forests, mountains, and even oceans. Around here you'll only see the Omatikaya, obviously, occasionally the Tayrangi, and what's left of the Olangi."

"What's left of them?" Kayla echoes while up and grasping the ledge then skillfully pulling herself up, mindful of the drop below and the waterfall.

"They were mostly wiped out in the battle against the RDA, the one where we drove them off-world. What was left of the Olangi was too small to be considered their own clan, so they integrated into ours. Our clan is technically called the Blue Flute Clan if you wanna get specific."

Norm climbs up next with only a little bit of difficulty. Kayla offered her hand to him and wordlessly helped pull him up when he grasped on. Norm sighs out of exhaustion once he stands back up, grinning a little slyly, "You ready to make the trek back?"

Kayla's nose crinkles up, eyes narrowed with hesitance as she thinks back to the narrow pathways and hugging the wall of the mountain, "... How about you keep answering my questions and maybe I'll forget about it."

~~~~~~~~~

It's like a little kid learning that there's a whole new world out there. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and in Kayla's case, it was. She had several teachers to choose from and several different subjects to learn from each one.

Starting with the language, Kayla was once sitting in a circle with multiple teachers around her, each of them bouncing off the other to try to get her to grasp each word. It was difficult at times, especially when they each start messing around and having fun when they were supposed to teach her. Norm and Spider normally mess around if they teach Kayla together, but otherwise, when separate, Kayla is able to learn more words if she's learning one-on-one with either the scientist or the teenager. Other times the lessons are more tamed if either Neteyam, Jake, or Neytiri teach her. Sometimes, all three do so together and Kayla was faintly starting to enjoy those small get-togethers. While learning their language, she was beginning to know her brother's family, especially his wife and their firstborn. Neteyam is strong, kind, and caring. He's definitely older brother material, reminding Kayla of Tommy, but not like she could admit that, and least of all to Jake.

Everyone keeps telling her that it'll take a while to grasp the language. Jake admitted that he struggled, and Norm explained that he had been studying Na'vi culture for five years prior to reaching Pandora. With their reassurances, Kayla tried not to beat herself up when she still couldn't hold a basic conversation with Little Tuk. She still can't do sentences, but Kayla has grasped basic words that were more important, like saying 'hello', 'thank you', and 'goodbye'. She learned numbers and proper pronunciation, nouns and adjectives, and plants and animals. Once she had grasped how to say and identify the flora and fauna, Neytiri deemed her ready to start hunting.

In order to hunt, Kayla needed to learn to catch up. Jake and Neytiri take her down to the forest floor and run. They run for ages, and after each run, Kayla's legs grow sore overnight then begin to loosen and strengthen the next day. Before long, she had been able to catch up to her teachers when they run along gigantic tree branches and dance gracefully through vines. She had learned to stop looking down and start looking ahead, never thinking about the fall since Neytiri showed her how to break a fall should she slip. Hunting with a bow and poison-tipped arrows had been proven difficult for Kayla, so used to knowing the ways around a gun. Jake gave her advice from one Sky Person to another, but essentially left Neytiri to do the teaching.

"Be on your guard," Jake flashed his sister a grin, "Neytiri is the kind of teacher who's all about 'learning fast or die.'"

"I am not." Neytiri denies adamantly, flicking her husband's ear as he laughed at her defiance.

Kayla greatly admired Neytiri for her teaching skills. If it got Jake into shape, then she knew it would be no problem to do the same. Neytiri teaches her sister-in-law how to track and how to ride direhorses, going back to the days when she used to teach the same to Jake and even her children.

Weaving is not a talent Kayla possessed back on Earth, but it was a skill she was being forced to learn here on Pandora. Mo'at, Tuk, and Kiri were her teachers on the subject, always dragging her into the marui meant for this kind of work. This canopy tent was larger than most, and mostly because it had to house an overly large and eccentric loom shuttle meant for this kind of craftsmanship. While teaching her how to weave, Kiri and Tuk would sing weaving songs meant for this kind of work, while their grandmother fondly listened and would accordingly praise them when finished. Mo'at was the tsahik, as Kayla learned, who was hesitant to accept the new avatar, if not defiant. There was clearly a dark past looming behind her aging eyes, but Kayla didn't dare push for an explanation. The older Na'vi woman explained Eywa to Kayla, as it was technically her area of expertise as the spiritual leader of the clan. Mo'at told stories to Kayla as they weave, explaining legends and moments of history that all connect back to the Great Mother. Mo'at talked about how everything was connected here on Pandora, from the trees to the mountains. From plants to animals and animals to Na'vi. The Na'vi only take what they need and understand how they must give it all back to Eywa in time.

Norm and Max explain all this through a more scientific perspective. They explain to Kayla how everything is rooted beneath their feet, connected together in one large network that fits the size of the whole moon they stood on. It was fascinating, to say the least, learning about how everything works together and even being shown proof when Max takes her on a walk through all their botanical samples and gardens. Kayla was able to grasp the information better when she listened to her fellow avatars and humans, but even when Mo'at spoke to her of Eywa, Kayla was still in awe. She felt as though she was back at home, being tucked into bed with stories of faraway, fantastical places under the soft glow of her nightlight. The only difference now is Kayla is grown, wearing blue skin she was beginning to adjust to comfortably, and listening to an elder woman speak of her deity under bioluminescent glow-worm lamps. And that was not even the most interesting part of Mo'at.

The tsahik taught Kayla how to heal and even make certain healing properties with just the plants and animals around them. Neytiri and Kiri would also partake in these lessons, having past knowledge of healing passed down to them from Mo'at. Neytiri had formally introduced Kayla to Mo'at as her mother, and eventually, Kayla began to form a family tree in her head once learning of their family history. While learning how to heal, Kayla heard small mentions of the sister and father Neytiri had lost, but not much else. Neither she nor Mo'at offered to explain or talk about their past loved ones, at least not to Kayla. When she went to her brother for answers, Jake's ears lowered. Even in a Na'vi form, he had a look of guilt that even Kayla could easily pinpoint from experience.

"I wouldn't try pushing Mo'at," he answered instead, eyes darting wildly around at everything other than Kayla when speaking about his mother-in-law, "She's a dragon lady when she wants to be."

Kayla left that conversation alone, knowing there was a story behind that but one that she wouldn't learn anytime soon. So she instead learned to just enjoy these lessons in order to get to know Neytiri, Kiri, and Tuk better. With these lessons, Kayla began to start understanding Na'vi as the girls in Jake's life tend to bounce between languages without even realizing it. It frustrated Kayla at first but over time it actually helped her grasp words faster. Slowly, she learned little things about her nieces and their mother, like how Tuk's knife was made from suggestions given to her by her best friend, Popiti. Or Kiri, whose woven top was inspired by the Eye of Eywa, and her necklace was something her birth mother once wore.

Kiri is a strange but delightful teenage girl. There are days when she enjoys company and days when she would prefer to work alone or in silence. Kayla understood that a little bit, appreciating that even at such a young age, Kiri realizes when her social battery is drained and needs a break. She gives her mother attitude but is an angel to everyone else, a behavior that all teenage girls must be able to inherit even between universal species. Kayla never related to someone so well.

A small fib she told herself even after meeting Lo'ak. He was adamant about teaching Kayla things, too, not wanting to be left out while all his other family members get to teach his aunt new skills in their culture. Lo'ak, overconfident, stubborn, and reckless, definitely reminds Kayla of Jake the most out of all the kids both physically and mentally, but again, she doesn't say so out loud. Lo'ak takes charge of teaching her to bead together clothing and other adornments the Na'vi proudly wear, even dragging Spider along for these lessons, despite how the human boy didn't appear thrilled to do so.

"Dude, this is so boring," Spider would groan, "We should take her exploring instead!"

"My parents already do that," Lo'ak scolded the shorter boy in front of Kayla as they worked on a bracelet for her, "And practically everyone else is teaching her how to speak, hunt, and heal. I wanna teach her something, too!"

"Well, yeah, but can't you just teach her something only you know?"

"That's a good idea," Kayla helpfully pitched in, trying to play peacemaker between the restless boys, "What are you good at, Lo'ak?"

When she's met with silence, Spider unhelpfully laughs, "Getting into places he shouldn't."

Lo'ak hissed and lightly hit Spider upside the head, earning a laugh from Kayla. Lo'ak's mood shifts a little, defeated and under the weather. Kayla took pity on the boy while pointing out, "You know... I have never been good at making bracelets at home. So I know one thing you're good at, and it's teaching."

His ears perk up, eyes brightening just the tiniest bit. Lo'ak tries fighting back a smile, and he's successful, especially when Spider continues to tease him, "Yeah, well he should probably try getting better at learning before he proudly decides he's better at teaching first."

She smiles in sympathy, "Not a good listener, huh?"

"The worst."

Lo'ak ducked his head, muttering under his breath, "Thanks, cuz. Way to make a guy feel special."

"You would make a great teacher," Spider encouraged his friend with a bright smile, "For example, you should teach Kayla what to expect when she finally starts her Iknimaya."

"That's a good idea." Kayla nods.

"No, it's not," Lo'ak states lowly.

"Why not?"

"Because he can only teach you what not to do, given that he failed the first time." Spider chuckled.

"Dude!"

Kayla sighed, mostly out of the headache that was beginning in the form of two teenage boys, "Alright, Spider, give it a rest."

Spider's jaw clamps shut, eyes widen briefly before shrinking his shoulders in a little under Kayla's stare. Shaking her head at him, she darts her eyes back at the Na'vi boy in question before speaking slowly, "... You know, Lo'ak. We have a saying where your dad and I are from. 'If at first, you don't succeed, try and try again.'"

Lo'ak peers up, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. Apparently, he doesn't hear about a whole lot of stuff from Jake's past let alone Earth. Kayla flashes him an encouraging smile, "There's no shame in getting it wrong the first time. You end up learning better than others when you learn from your mistakes."

Lo'ak watches her carefully as if trying to figure out a puzzle, his tail waving leisurely behind him. For a moment, the three are quiet until a teasing glint sparkles in Lo'ak's eye and he cruelly laughs, "Woah, where did you pull that wisdom out of?"

Kayla's expression screws up, offended, chucking the remnants of her bracelet at him when he continues to laugh. She scowls when the motion only drove him to laugh harder, "Okay, smartass, see if I ever come to your aid again."

The word slips out and Kayla is horrified when the boys catch onto what she said, their grins forming even as she tries to backtrack, "Oh, crap. You know what? Forget I said that. Your dad doesn't want me swearing in front of you kids."

"Not me though, right?" Spider asked, shrugging when she sent him an apologetic look, "No sweat. If you want, I can always teach you how to swear in Na'vi?"

Unbeknownst to the three, Jake was watching their interaction from afar, unable to hear what his sister was saying but felt amused when she got both Lo'ak and Spider to laugh at whatever she said. Norm taps his shoulder and it pulls Jake out of the fog, remembering he was in the middle of talking to his old friend before he caught sight of his son and his sister with Spider. Glancing back at Norm, Jake tilted his head in Kayla's direction, "Sorry. How 'she doing by the way?"

"Great, actually," Norm followed his gaze, observing Kayla's interaction with the teenage boys, "She retains information really well. She remembers the smallest of details, even details that don't matter."

Jake nods in approval, a knowing look in his faraway eyes while watching Kayla retrieve her bracelet from Lo'ak and continue adding on pieces, "I remember that about her. Normally, she retains information that she's excited to learn. Otherwise, it goes in one ear and out the other, like math. I remember Tommy having to sit her down to help with her homework late at night when our folks were too tired to do so."

"Hm," Norm makes a mental image of that particular scene in his head, nudging Jake's arm, "You don't talk about your siblings enough. Maybe you should."

Jake's jaw tightens, blinking whatever haunted thoughts were swirling around in his head, and stiffly nods without ever looking away from his sister, "Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~

There was so much information to latch onto to the point Kayla wasn't sure if she'd be able to pick whatever parts of Na'vi culture were her favorite. As days turn to weeks, she quickly realizes that she hasn't even learned half of the Omatikaya lifestyle as she finds herself being pulled into a hunting ceremony. A great sturmbeest was killed that day and the People were preparing for a large feast filled with song and dance. Kiri quickly taught Kayla the hunting songs that are sung during these ceremonies and urged her aunt to sing along when the time comes. It was difficult to admit that Kayla felt nervous at the idea. She hadn't sung out loud in a long time, and she personally didn't feel as though she was the best singer.

Neytiri had rolled her eyes when Kayla had shyly admitted this to her, "All Na'vi people sing, whether or not they are any good."

"Besides," Jake cuts in with a fox-like grin, "All you need is a bit of liquid courage and you'll be singing and dancing without a care in the world."

Thus how Kayla was first introduced to swoa, taken aback by how strong the intoxicating beverage was. Jake had laughed at her initial reaction to screw her nose up and squint her eyes, but afterward, the following sips were easy to manage. It was safe to say she liked it.

Her first ceremony went beautifully as she danced to her heart's content, mainly with the kids as they were eager to show her their moves. The next party was a tribute to Eywa, and even Kayla could admit that ceremony was a little less fun. Seeing Vitraya Ramunong, the Tree of Souls for the first time took her breath away, in awe of the most beautiful tree she had ever seen in her life. But instead of dancing and playing music around such a magnificent tree, the People sat together, their kuru braids either bonded to the roots of the tree or to the tendrils hanging down from the branches. They either sang or prayed, and Kayla found it difficult to sort out which was which. She still feels awkward praying to Eywa, despite her eagerness to learn all about the Great Mother. Jake didn't blame her for it, sympathizing by saying he still struggled even to this day. Neytiri never took either of their discomforts to heart, understanding that unlearning the mindset you have known your whole life takes a toll when wishing to learn something new.

Months go by, and Kayla finds herself attending all sorts of ceremonies. Some celebrate birth, love, and life, while others memorialized death and revival. When first taught how the Na'vi believe that every soul is born twice, Kayla showed inklings of doubt, but Jake made it his personal mission for his sister to see those teachings through his eyes, "I've seen it firsthand. Do you remember back home, when things come in three's it could either mean something good or bad, depending on who you ask? Same rules apply here. For the most part, everything comes in two here. Two like the avatar and the driver, or me and Tommy. Two like Grace and Kiri, and me and Neytiri. Two like my two boys and two girls. For you, it'll come in two as well. The Na'vi say that every person is born twice. The second time is when you earn your place among the People, forever. You'll be born again when you finish your Iknimaya."

He said it with such confidence, that anyone would believe him as the leader he is, but not Kayla. In reaction to his confidence in her, Kayla only felt dread. Conflicted emotions were constantly running through her mind. While she is running around among the Na'vi out here, she was still waking up among the Sky People back at Bridgehead. She still reported to Ardmore and the lab coats who monitor her links' progress. Even as she lies as easily as she breathes, Kayla feels the shame and regret of still having to return and lie about her whereabouts to her superiors. She had grown to hate waking up with flashlights in her face and needles in her arm, waking up to a million questions and the beeping of her heart monitor among other machines. The lights were always too bright, the walls too white, and the air and Ardmore's face too cold. Kayla's heart was beginning to clench with anxiety and sadness whenever she had to go back to live among her own kind, and the thought terrified her. How could she, after only a few months, begin to turn her back on her whole life, and for what? A life filled with happiness and good health with her brother's family?

The human race was counting on her to test the limits between a driver and their avatar, to go the distance and hope that whatever tests she completes will lead to her entire species' survival. Kayla wanted to save the human race, but now... all she wanted was to be left alone, on Pandora, living among her brother's people.

These thoughts always plagued her, especially at night alone in her living quarters when she was in her human form. As she tossed and turned in bed, she'd stare at all four walls, on her back, before staring up at the blank, cold ceiling above her, wishing she didn't have a heart, much like Ardmore. She wished she could just do her job instead of learning to care for and love the Omatikaya, to cherish every moment she gets with her nieces and nephews. Part of her believes that she had every right to turn on her own kind because when has the human race ever done anything for her other than take everyone she loved away? But another part of her felt immensely guilty, knowing that she would have never thought twice about coming to Pandora if it weren't for the human race.

There was no deadline, but Kayla still felt as though she was running out of time. Two sides battling a war inside her head and her heart, and she didn't know which side to listen to. Dutifully heading to the lab for a new day of poking and prodding, Kayla anxiously awaited until she'd be able to run around in the form she now preferred. She tried her best not to appear excited when it was time for her to jump into a link bay and tried calming her breaths as the lid closes around her and she shuts her eyes.

Waking up in the mountains, sporting a tail and blue skin, Kayla already felt lighter than a feather, her worries washing away the moment she walked out of the Longhouse, and Spider, Lo'ak, and Tuk immediately dragged her away for another adventure. She went about her day normally, learning her respective lessons and helping out among the clan as best as she could. Around the time she was meant to help Mo'at with preparing for the communal dinner that evening, she noticed that Kiri had yet to join them, as she had promised the day before that she would assist. Mo'at clicked her tongue and shook her head before sending Kayla out to find the girl and Kayla happily obeyed. The sky was growing dark as an eclipse was beginning to form when the female marine found Kiri near the edge of the camp, legs swinging off the end of the mountain while braiding bits of her hair and integrating some beads into the entanglements. Her eyes were focused on the braids, but they still looked as though they were hundreds of miles away, deep in thought.

"Hey, Kiri," Kayla had called out so as not to spook her eldest niece, "Mind if I join you?"

Kiri didn't look up and instead motioned to the open spot on the ground beside her, "Please do."

Kayla idly stepped over to the edge and carefully sat down beside her, swinging her legs beside Kiri's. They sat in silence while Kiri braided parts of her hair and Kayla leaned back on her hands to stare up at the stars. "So. Why are we out here instead of helping your grandmother?"

The girl hissed, mostly to herself, as if cringing at her own mistake, "I forgot I wanted to help. Maybe we should just head back--"

"No, no. This is much more interesting," Kayla earns a laugh from the young girl and smiles softly, "What's distracting you today?"

"I went to see my mom today and watched some of her old video logs."

"Yeah?"

"I was watching a video I hadn't seen yet. She briefly mentioned her life back on Earth and it just got me thinking about... whether or not she might have had family still there. What if I have family on Earth? I don't know, it just got me thinking..."

Her hands pull out of her braids and rest on her lap, eyes staring down at her swinging legs with a forlorn gaze. Kayla watched as Kiri's ears and tail lowered as her thoughts likely darken in her mind. Despite coming to terms with the fact that she never learned how to deal with depressed children, Kayla spoke from experience, remembering the days she was once as young and lonely as Kiri, "You know, I read your mom's book."

One of Kiri's ears twitched in Kayla's direction, still unable to look up from her feet, "Really?"

"Yeah. I have a copy back in my room at Bridgehead. Maybe one day I'll be able to get it to ya."

"What's her writing like?"

"Intelligent and informative." Kayla hums while looking up at the sky, "There's a fascination and a bit of sarcasm in there. Doctor Augustine is definitely one of those women who know they're the smartest in the room and is annoyed at the fact that she's surrounded by idiots."

Kiri huffed a small laugh, lips turning up into a gentle, sweet smile as she craned her neck up to also watch the stars, "I wonder if I would be anything like her if she was alive to raise me."

"And what's wrong with how you are now?" Kiri visibly winced at the question and so the older woman backtracked, "Sorry. You don't have to tell me." 

She decides to approach the subject from a different angle by using distraction as her tactic. Kayla's voice changes a pitch, indicating a change in conversation, "Hey, could you help me out with something?"

Kiri shrugged, "Sure."

"Could you tell me which star is Earth?"

Kiri finally looks back at her aunt, eyebrows furrowing oddly at her before looking back up at the sky. She searches for a moment, her eyes darting over the inky canvas surrounding her homeworld as she finally spots the star her father has pointed out to her several times before. She raises her own hand to point it out as well, "That one."

"Thanks."

When Kiri looked back at the older woman, she found Kayla staring up at the star she had pinpointed, a vulnerable expression the teenager couldn't quite figure out, "... Do you miss someone there?"

"No, but I miss the planet. At least a little bit. I think I just like being able to see it, even if it's from afar instead of up close. It's comforting," Kayla lowered her gaze from the stars above to Kiri, even depicting the small star constellations scattered across the teen's face, "Kinda like how you are with your mom's avatar. So close but so far away."

Kiri's eyes widen briefly before she turned away, biting her lip to refrain from sniffling when her eyes began to grow warm and blurry. Kayla's hand reaches out and hesitantly rests on the girl's shoulder, "We all miss home, kiddo, even the parts we never got to know."

"... Thanks, Auntie."

It's a strange title, one that Kayla was trying to get used to as the kids started to call her that more and more. She awkwardly tried responding, "Sure thing."

They go back to star gazing after Kiri managed to tame her tears. The girl watches the sky with her new comfort in the form of her aunt's words blanketing with an aura of safety and understanding between them. Without looking back at Kayla, Kiri spoke the motto she knew since she could learn to talk, "Sullys stick together, right?"

Had she looked, she would've seen Kayla's entire body bristle at those words, sucking in a sharp breath as quietly as she could. The phrase haunted the woman's dreams and now followed her everywhere she went. Who knew that she would have to travel to an entirely different planet before she would hear those words again? Envy and resentment invade her senses, skin prickling with anger as she tried to visibly contain the bomb going off in her head so Kiri couldn't see. Her voice is tight when she responds, like a rubberband about to snap, all the while years' worth of betrayal start rushing back to the forefront of Kayla's mind, but not directed at the poor girl who was unaware of the fire she had started.

"Yeah. Right."

A/N: 'a new leaf part two' will be out soon and then it'll be onto the events of the Way of Water! Please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

#tsamsiyu ta'em fic #ronal x oc #tonowari x ronal x oc #tonowari x oc x ronal #tonowari x ronal #ronal x reader x tonowari #ronal x tonowari x oc #ronal x oc x tonowari #ronal x tonowari x reader #ronal x reader #tonowari x ronal x reader #ronal x tonowari #tonowari x reader x ronal #ronal avatar #tonowari #tonowari fanfic #tonowari imagine #tonowari x reader #atwow fic #atwow #atwow fanfiction #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar imagine #james cameron avatar #ronal fic #ronal imagine #avatar 2009 #avatar #avatar way of water

[male-reader-haven]

❚█═Bulking Up, Eh?═█❚

Y/N pays his best friend a visit after working abroad for 6 months.

Tags: Bangchan x male reader, wholesome

Warnings: Suggestive content

Suggested by @dimensionaldrifter , thank you for the adorable concept, I absolutely loved writing this! <3

You take a deep breath as you step out from the plane into the familiar atmosphere.

It's good to be home.

You had previously been involved with a hefty internship at a producing company where you were learning skills and being taught under professional and popular producers and just finished the course with flying colors. It didn't seem like a long time while you were working, since you kept yourself busy with projects and taking better care of yourself, but once the plane touched down it all sunk in; six months of hard work finally paid off! You continue walking to pickup your luggage and make your way back to your apartment, eager to unpack and settle in.

Your apartment is just as neat as you left it, which surprises you slightly since you had left a key with Christopher Chan (you called him Chan), your long time friend, so that he could come and check up on things every once in a while. Back when you were in high school together, you being a senior and Chan being a junior, you remember Chan being forgetful and messy, so you feel warm thinking that he put in extra effort to keep it nice and clean for you.

Ah, I forgot to text him that I landed safely...

You pull out your phone and are met with a new text.

Chan: Hey man! Let me know when you get here, we gotta catch up if you're not too jetlagged!

You smile. Chan always checks in with you, even if you are his hyung, and you find it heartwarming how much he cares. You type a response.

Me: Just got to the apartment. Honestly surprised at how nice it is, I half expected it to be a pigsty 😂

Chan: You gotta give me more credit!! I've gotten better since you've last seen me

Me: So should we meet at your place then?

Chan: No! No, its far too messy lol

Me: Lol ok, lets meet at the cafe in an hour then

Chan: KK

You chuckle to yourself and finish unpacking. Sure, you enjoyed your time abroad, but you miss Chan and your hometown more than anything, and you can't wait to catch up.

After waiting only a few minutes at "The Crick" cafe, you notice a figure walk in wearing a black hoodie and joggers and a casual beanie. You immediately recognize him by his curly brown hair and adorable pronounced nose.

"Chan, over here!" You wave your arm to signal him. His eyes light up when he sees you and he rushes over. You practically jump out of your seat and Chan grabs you into a bear hug.

"Wow man, I feel like you've been gone forever!!!!" He is grinning ear to ear.

"Haha, yeah, I missed you too bud." You laugh and hug him back. You both sit down, grinning ear to ear. You genuinely missed this goofball.

"Gosh, you gotta fill me in on what went down. Don't think I didn't notice your gorgeous biceps. You been hitting the gym?" Chan jokingly winks at you. You laugh.

"Yea actually! I've been trying to be healthier mentally and physically, especially since I've been busy at the internship. I'm pretty proud of my progress." As you talk, Chan sits back and takes it all in, still smiling. He looks you up and down. Conscious of his gaze, you find yourself blushing slightly.

"You should be proud. Dude, you're doing it! You're living your dream and doing what you want to do. You lost weight and started taking care of yourself better. I know how much effort and motivation that takes." He leans forward and puts a hand on your forearm. "I am so proud of you, Y/N!"

You are slightly taken aback by the sudden praise and chuckle nervously. He always finds a way to make you flustered, even if you are older than him. His shining excited eyes remind you of a golden retriever.

"Why don't you come over for a few drinks and hang out? I could use the company. Plus, I owe you for keeping my place up." You take a sip of your coffee. "I can show you some of my routine." You wink and flex at him jokingly.

"Haha, of course I'm down." Chan laughs and glances down for a second, avoiding your gaze. You aren't certain, but you think you spot him blushing.

A few hours later and a few drinks in, you both find yourselves laughing heartily and catching up at your apartment and reminiscing on old times and stories.

"Dude, I will NEVER forget when you got into a fight with that Woojin guy, that was intense." You flick Chan's shoulder as he makes his way to a chair, handing you another drink.

"Yeah well, he deserved it. He was being way too rough with Felix. I swear, I knew that guy was a dick from the start." He grimaces and shakes his head at the memory.

"I think it was really cool of you actually, to step up like that. You're protective. It's endearing." You smile, trying to make him smile again. It works, and Chan turns to you with a soft expression.

"I really fucking missed you."

Something about the way he looked you in the eyes with that soft smile and warm expression made your face go red. You can feel his eyes raking over you.

"Y-yeah. Me too." For a moment you just stare at each other, slightly inebriated from the alcohol, but also just because you were drawn to him. Chan coughs, breaking the tension.

"Be right back, gotta take a leak."

"No worries."

You stand up and take your glasses to the sink while Chan gets up to go to the bathroom. Your heart is beating faster than usual and you feel butterflies in your stomach. Something about Chan is just so adorable, and something so obvious is happening that you are just a little bit too afraid to accept.

"Think fast!" Chan bursts out from the bathroom door to throw a roll of toilet paper at you. It bumps off your back and you turn to face him.

"Oh, it's on!" You grab the roll and throw it back at him, engaging in battle. He catches it and attempts to run smuggling it away, but you run up to him and grab him in a bear hug from behind, turning it into a wrestling match. You both laugh and horseplay for a second, you trying to pry the paper roll from Chan who is holding onto it for dear life. You manage to pry it out of his hands and victoriously push him to against your wall.

"Ha! I win." You hover over him, grinning while holding his hands up to the wall. Chan giggles with his squinted eyes and wide grin that make you feel soft inside, and you stand there for a moment.

"Okay, I may have underestimated just how strong you got. I mean look at you." Chan runs his hand across your arm that is pinning him to the wall, feeling your biceps. You aren't sure if its the alcohol kicking in or your imagination, but you could have sworn that your faces were not this close 10 seconds ago. Chan's smile falls into a longer look, tilting his head slightly and eyes on your lips. Before you even realize what is happening, you find yourself in Chan's arms and his lips on yours.

Fireworks.

You bring your hand to his face and kiss him back. You can feel his arms running down your sides and pulling you closer, and you are locked in a passionate embrace. His lips carry the faint taste of the rice wine you were drinking earlier and you can smell his faded cologne. The feeling of his hands feeling your stomach and abs send a rush to your head as you take it all in. Only when he separates to breathe do you open your eyes.

"F-fuck..." You say under your breath, still recovering from what just happened. You look at Chan, whose eyes show passion and a hint of fear.

"Fuck... good?" He cocks his head slightly and smiles awkwardly, awaiting your response.

"I don't know, do you?" You smirk as Chan blushes deeply. He chuckles and looks down, grinning. You lift his chin to make him look back up at you. "Shut up and kiss me, Christopher Bang." He doesn't need to be told twice. He leans in to kiss you again, this time needier. He turns you around and pushes you to the wall this time, trading places, and hastily you both take each other's shirts off. He holds your arms up on the wall and looks you up and down for the nth time that night.

"God you are one sexy motherfucker."

Chan never fails to make you blush.

Send me suggestions on what to write next! ~ <3

--Masterlist--

#christopher bang #bangchan #chan #bang chan x male reader #chan x male reader #stray kids #skz #stray kids x male reader #skz x male reader #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #chan x reader #bang chan x reader

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 3

Tagging: @ophelialaufey @madamemaximoff06 @forever-not-gonna-sink @ajmiila02 @liquidsmoothdomme @shady-the-simp

Oystein couldn't help but be a little anxious about the upcoming auditions of their new vocalist. He knew that there was a certain sound he was looking for but so far, no one had even come close. He practiced in his room at his parents house, somehow his other two band mates had both gotten flu so he wanted nothing to do with them until they were done puking their brains out.

"Oystein! Come give us a hand please." His Mom called up the steps and he glanced out of the window to see Y/n had parked the grocery delivery car in his driveway. She bounded out with a huge smile on her face, greeting his sister who gave her a hug. She was always very sweet to his family and he couldn't help but smile seeing that she had quite a few bags in her car. He placed the guitar gently on his bed before bounding down the steps and practically ran into Y/n as he exited the house.

"Oh! Hi Oystein." She smiled brightly at him handing him a bag.

"Hey, what's the damage today?" He glanced around her and noticed his mom had gotten way more than she needed.

"Bit more than usual but I just assumed your mom was throwing a party or something." She continued to pull bags from the car and stack them on the steps.

"Not that I know of." Oystein looked through the baf he was holding and froze when Y/n stopped to touch his hair.

"Wow you dyed your hair!" She pushed the pieces from teh front of his eyes and he watched her look it over.

"Yeah he wanted to look evil." His sister came down the stairs making Oystein roll his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Evil huh? I don't know if it makes you look evil but it does look pretty good. Very dark, very metal." Y/n matched the hand gesture that his sister threw up. Oystein was proud he had taught her that but even more surprised when she matched the gesture.

"I was just looking for change. Evil isn't hair color. It's a state of mind." Oystein cleared his throat, thrusting the bag he was holding at his sister to climb the steps.

"Don't I know it. It takes one hellish ghoul to help his mom with the grcoeries. Damn you to hell!" Y/n teased with a push but he grabbed her hand stopping her.

"You work in customer service. I'm sure you've wanted to slit the throats of tons of clients before. All those rude drunks that come into the shop, try and play grab ass or the ungrateful house wives who tip you with critisim instead of actual money when you carry all these groceries up their mansion steps." Oystein could feel her breath on his chin and she looked up to stare at him.

"Slitting someone's throat takes a lot more effort than you would think. I don't have the time or energy to be homocidal. I've got bills to pay, cute evil guitarist to visit." Y/n smirked making Oystein match her smile.

"Oystein, please don't breath on Y/n! I don't want you getting her sick." His mother had interuptted them and she took a step back.

"I'm not sick mom. They're the ones who are shitting themselves."

Y/n cringed hearing about his bandmembers.

"Soda crackers work wonders for that. Hopefully they can work it out." Y/n grabbed the last bag and handed it to Oystein before shutting her trunk. His mom had passed him the money to give her and she smiled taking it.

"Thanks so much. Have a wonderful week!" Y/n waved up at his mom as she walked inside.

"We're getting a new singer this week." Oystein said quickly wanting her to stick around for a few minutes.

"Cool! It's about time you got someone who actually knows how to sing." She ribbed.

"Does that mean you'll come to one of our shows now?" Oystein tried to get her to come to one of his shows in the past but she had never agreed.

"You know I work like a dog. I don't get a lot of time for concerts." She frowned.

"So what you're saying is I'll have to catch you on an off day?" Oystein asked making her snort.

"I wouldn't hold your breath for one of those. I can't remember the last time I took an off day." She stood in the door of her car and he rested his hand on it.

"Come on, you've got to find a little free time. How am I supposed to bring you to the dark side if you never make time for me?" Oystein stepped into her space and she leaned into him.

"Why do you want me to come to one of your shows so bad? You know I would stick out like a sore thumb around your friends." Y/n asked curiously. She was not a metal head or loud and erratic like the majoirty of the people he ran with. They were off the wall and wild, she was pretty calm and self described boring.

"Maybe I just like spending time with you." Oystein was surprised when she rested her hand on his chest.

"Why would you want to spend time with me? I'm alot harder to sway than you might think." He savored the feeling of her touch on his chest, the bit of hair she twirled on her fingertip was distracting.

"I don't know, I think I could figure out something." Oystein wanted to kiss her. He wanted to pin her to the hood of the car and suck bruises to her throat until she cried but a shrill yell from the steps startled him.

"Mom said not to give Y/n butt cooties!" Oystein blushed. Y/n laughed dropping her hand from his hair.

"GO INSIDE!" He yelled making her sprint back in the door after spitting her tonuge out.

"Let me know when you guys have another show and I'll see what I can do." It wasn't a promise or an acceptance of his invite but the little bit of hope she hung in the air was something he was willing to hold onto. He stepped out of the way of her car door and pushed it shut for her once she was inside. She gave a soft wave as he watched her drive out of his driveway. He never gave a shit about what most people thought about him or his music but he wanted her to watch him play so badly, he couldn't think straight.

#R!Euronymous #Film: Lords of Chaos #Alkaline #One Shot Series #Rory Culkin #Culkin Cult #R!Euronymous x Y/N #Alkaline Series #3/35

[drama-nonsense-v]

10 BL boys I want carnally <3

Thank you for tagging me to do this @blneobin <3 I'm a little behind on this but i FINALLY have time today to write it so here we go! I've had so much fun reading all the one's I've seen thus far~

Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic Japan)

I absolutely ADORE this man. Attentive and kind and he's ssooo pretty. He is 5'11" (180cm), I want to climb him like a tree, thank you. I would do anything he asked. I have watched this show so many times in the last 6 months since i first watched it, its a little ridiculous. (eepy Kurosawa...oh how i adore him)

Khaotung Thanawat - Ray (Only Friends)

I love this man so much it hurts. I adore everything I've watched him in thus far but there is a /reason/ Ray is pictured in my about me on this blog. I related to Ray so much and his and Sand's scenes....oh wow... I have so many edits and gifs saved in a folder on my computer of this man, I am unwell about it (someone should recreate their dancing in the parking garage scene with me...)

Nut Supanut - Solo/Way (Oxygen/PitBabe)

I adored Nut in Oxygen (is it a little stiff, yeah, but i still liked it) I am a sucker for puppy like characters like Solo and hes just so incredibly Handsome. And Way is just...oh my god. Nut is legit the one of two reasons I started watching PitBabe. (Obsessed with the fact that Way is still kinda Puppy coded. He can take his frustration out on me, I'd consent to that)

Jimmy - Peun/Mohk (Vice Versa/Last Twilight)

I enjoyed Vice Versa and Jimmy immediately caught my attention when I watched it. And now with watching Last Twilight, many of my friends know just how UNWELL I am about this man. Mohk is so kind and attentive and he's so so handsome I cannot handle it. I made so many people watch the clip of him getting angry with August. When he got super quite? Lost my mind. (Look at him...look at his arms, are you kidding me??)

Ja Phachara Suansri - Leo/Punn (Don't Say No/Be Mine SuperStar)

THIS MAN IS 6'2" (188cm) THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE'S SO TALL (i'm a little jealous...) Ja is so pretty and him just throwing around First in Don't Say No like he was nothing? I lost it. The scene in the pool in Be Mine SuperStar where Punn and Ashi are talking and then Punn stands up? I was UNWELL (Punn is also another Puppy coded character and I will forever be a sucker for it)

Perth - Ae/Kanghan (Love By Chance/Dangerous Romance)

When I tell you some weird things came out of my mouth when I was telling my friends about Perth, I wish I was kidding (@darkroseespeon can attest to that). He's so incredibly ridiculously handsome and his smile is absolutely infectious. He's another that I would do anything they asked. (cue to me just repeatedly saying "he's so pretty" as i was trying to find a gif...)

Nat Thewphaingam - Nawin (Laws of Attraction)

I was living with some roommate when I was watching Laws of Attraction and they had a good laugh watching me LOSE MY SHIT when this man came on screen. I was immediately obsessed with Nawin. The bgm, the bloody tank, and the brass knuckles? I was a gonner. Truly in love with his antics and i would give a lot to be under him. (do you see his arms? the lighting? just...HIS FACE?)

Ji Sub - Jae Won (The Eighth Sense)

OMG one, this show is so important to me. Two, Ji Sub is a meal I could eat every day. I don't even have much more to say than that. He's just so handsome and he had such sad eyes... Jae Won, once they're finally boyfriends, is so sweet I just adore it so much. I love this man. (He was so cute in this scene I cant...)

Us Akkarachotsopon - Tay (Kinnprosche)

Tay is fully the embodiment of my never ending delima of do i want him or to i want to /be/ him???? His fashion sense is glorious and I will never be over it. The minute I start talking about it, its hard to get me to shut up. I would give ssoo much to take care of Tay and love him like he deserves. (Where the post that's like "i'll do anything for a boy with big brown eyes" or something like that. Also, this shirt?? I need it.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Am I cheating a little bit by talking about all four of them? Maybe. But I have made SO many people who are not into BLs watch this show FOR A REASON. I love it so much and I love all of them so dearly. AiDi and ChenYi's fashion? IMPECCABLE I'm obsessed and want to recreate some of their looks so bad. All their scene once they're finally together??? unbeatable to me. omfg. ZongYi and ZeRui's kitchen scene?? In shambles. SHAMBLES (I have a stuffed animal I named ZongYi cause he's so precious to me...and I want to get one to name AiDi)

Aaaahhh this...took me way longer to write than anticipated. Though part of that time was looking through endless amounts of gifs. to which, thank you to the gif makers, y'all make my day (haha xD) I have no idea who hasn't done this yet, (@mb-bls idk if you have or would want to?) but if you see this and want to do it, tag me so I can read it!!!!

#aaaahhhh thank you again dear for taggging me!!! #this was soooo fun #Its a bit ironic that the first real post i make myself on this blog is this one lmao #very on brand for me imo #I just kept looking up and down my list of all the shows I've watched thus far and picking characters/people was suuuuch as struggle lmao #There's definitely a couple of patterns that are easy to pick up on when it comes to who i gravitate towards haha! #multi bl #mutuals my beloved #<3 #ironnoises

[finniestoncrane]

OH I DIDN’T KNOW WE COULD DO MORE THAN ONE. Okay so I will also send in a blind date request :)

I’m not sure how much info you need so I’ll give you the basics

- I consider myself to be pretty quiet? Not intentionally I just happen to stumble over words a lot so :P I’m pretty detail oriented and everything in my house is either super ultra organized or an absolute mess, no in between. When it comes to dating I really just like someone who I can watch movies with (and have like a pretty interesting conversation about what we’re watching) AND someone who will give me good art feedback. More basic info is that I’m a tattoo artist, about to turn 22, and I have a relatively thick southern accent!

This was fun, I hope I gave you the info you needed :D

💜 blind date 💜 the kitchen is now closed! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: is it a blind date when you know who i'm putting you with??? lmao💚

“Welcome to the Vill-Inn! You're lucky to get a double date, or at least... a date with two handsome guys!”

There's only one man at the table you're pointed towards, but as you take a better look on your way over, you realise you know exactly who you're going to be seated across from.

"Harvey Dent. Although, I guess the work I've done as Two Face has superceded the fame I got as Harvey, doing what good I could do."

He seemed slightly bitter, but he warms up quickly. Especially when he realises he's spent the first fifteen minutes of your date talking about himself and his past as the district attorney, and then a further fifteen minutes arguing with himself about how much more important his work in the criminal underworld is, without you interrupting once.

"You're quiet. Or we're loud. It's one of the two, but it works, right?"

When you finally do say something, he's completely enamoured with your accent. Harvey finds it charming, he makes a joke about how Southern lawyers always seem more wholesome and trustworthy. Harv chimes in with a comment about how it makes it sound like you might be up for getting rowdy and dirty. You roll your eyes with a smile.

He asks where you live, and mentions the apartments there are nice. His interest is piqued when you mention that yours is a bit nice, a bit messy. That you can be cluttered an organised. That your space reflects both sides of your personality. With a wink and a chuckle he tells you he understands that all too well.

At one point, he excuses himself to take an important call, and when he returns to find that you've been doodling on the napkin he requests to take a closer look.

"Is that... is that me? Is that us? Wow. It's amazing. Always nice to see how you look through the eyes of someone else, and I like the way I look through yours."

Two Face is... less impressed with how you've drawn his side of Harvey. He offers some 'constructive criticism' as he puts it, and though Harvey apologises, you tell him not to. It's nice to hear feedback, positive and... 'constructive'.

At the end of the meal, Harvey refuses to let you pay. He tips the waitstaff with a crisp $100 bill and stands up, pulling your chair out for you. Ever the gentleman. Although, it's nice to have his other half leaning in close to smell your neck, a bit more forward than Harvey, but a nice contrast.

Outside, you say goodbye and move to grab a taxi, but Harvey waves the one who stops off. You're confused, but intrigued.

"Dinner and a movie, huh doll? There are two of us, you owe us a date each."

#finnie writes #finnie1500

[runningfrom2am]

the sea around us; chapter ten

In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.

(rafe cameron x f!oc)

(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)

warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)

wc: 4.4k

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*:･ﾟ✧*:･

When I wake up, I have a rather foggy recollection of the night before, which is pretty standard after I get home from a party. I quickly realize though, when I try and open my eyes, that I'm not back at the chateau at all. I blink a few times as I process my surroundings. The Fast posters, trophies, the body under the covers next to me. Rafe, right. He's sitting up against the headboard, looking at his phone in his lap. He's not wearing a shirt, and my cheeks burn red. I don't think we slept together, but I don't put it past the girl I was last night.

I rub my eyes a little and pull the covers up over my shoulder, looking under the covers to make sure I'm dressed. I have a shirt on, so check, and some boxers that obviously aren't mine. I'll take that as a win.

"Hey, are you awake?" He whispers, his voice still raspy from sleep.

I hum a little in response, still mostly trying to wake up, but I don't think I've ever slept in a bed this comfortable. I never want to leave.

"Not yet?" Rafe laughs slightly, and I hear his phone click off as he places it on top of the blanket.

"How are you alive?" I grumble, pulling the blanket tight under my chin.

"I could ask you the same thing." I can hear the smile on his voice. I open my eyes slightly, squinting from the sunlight coming into his room from the big window. He's reaching out towards me, and hesitates for a second before he settles his hand in my hair, pushing a few strands out of my face.

"Please, please don't tell me I puked in your bathtub." I say, feeling a smile pull at my cheeks and he shakes his head, laughing slightly.

"No, no you're good. You can handle your liquor better than any other girl I've brought back here."

"Wow, thank you." I laugh softly. I can already feel my hangover kicking in. "I'm also probably the only one who only asked to have a bath."

Rafe nods a little, his hand still in my hair. "Yeah, it's refreshing, honestly. Did, uh, did you at least have fun? Like at the party, I mean." He asks, nervousness evident in his tone.

"Mhm." I hum, nodding slightly. "Pretty sure Kie is gonna kick my ass but it was worth it."

"So like.. you remember everything, right?"

"Yep." I reply, closing my eyes again. I don't want look at him, I just know he's about to bring up how we kissed. Not because I regret it, I truly don't, I'm just more embarrassed because he's probably about to kick me out and now that's just another person I have a weird history with.

"So like.. maybe, would you still want to go out sometime?" That question catches me off guard. Apparently I did forget something, but now the conversation we had while I was in the bath comes rushing back to me.

"If you still want to, then of course." I reply, opening my eyes again and smiling up at him.

"Of course I still want to, why wouldn't I?" Rafe looks confused as he slightly laughs. He seemed so nervous a minute ago, but every ounce of that seems to be gone now.

"Guilt, embarrassment, regret, maybe, I don't know." I shrug.

"No, no way. Oh my god, I meant all that stuff I said." He shakes his head. "I'd love to hangout more. At least until your friends rip my head off, anyways. But like, I thought we just got along so well so like, why not, right?"

I smile at that, and I know my face is so red but he doesn't comment on it. "I meant it too." I reply.

"Sweet." He grins, then it's quiet for a second. "Uh, I'm gonna hop in the shower, just shout if you need anything." Rafe says, getting up from the bed and making sure I'm still covered by the blanket.

"Sounds good." I say, giving him a thumbs up as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door. I sit up and grab my head as the hangover headache instantly begins. I groan and throw the blanket off, pulling my legs up and crossing them as I look at his bedside table. I'm so thirsty I feel like I'll faint at any second, but luckily he has painkillers and a water bottle already there.

I lay back down after taking a few, and I think I fall back asleep because I don't hear him turning off the shower or coming back into the room.

"Hey, Snowy?" His arm is on my shoulder and when I open my eyes, he's got sweats on and his hair is still damp.

"I'm up." I respond groggily, sitting up again.

"Nice hair." Rafe chuckles and I reach up to try and smooth it down.

"Thank you, you should see it when I brush it." I say, climbing out of bed carefully so I don't fall. "Give me like five and I'll be ready to go."

"Are you hungry? What do you want for breakfast?" Rafe asks. "I'll go make something if you're hungry."

I didn't realize I was starving until he said that, but now that I'm thinking of it I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday.

"Oh my god, I am starving. Can I have like, some toast maybe?" I ask and he nods. "Can I be picky and ask for cream cheese and jam on it?"

"Cream cheese and jam?" He asks, looking at me confused and a little grossed out.

"Okay- don't knock it until you try it. It's so good." I laugh.

"No way- I'm knocking it now. But of course, I'll make it. Just come down when you're ready." He smiles, pulling on a shirt off the floor and closing the door behind him as he leaves.

I stand there in a state of shock for a moment. He's so nice. I really wouldn't have expected this from him, but I guess I just didn't know him before.

I go into the bathroom and quickly change back into my shorts from yesterday, deciding to leave the t-shirt he leant me on. I brush my teeth with the brush he grabbed for me the night before, and find a hairbrush in the drawer. As usual, my hair is so big after I brush it through that I look like an eighties yearbook photo, I can't ever unsee that after I saw my mothers grad photos a few years ago. I look just like her.

After washing my face, I grab my backpack and force myself to leave his room. I quietly close the door, and tiptoe down the hall towards the stairs. It's almost ten, but I don't know if anyone is still sleeping.

Just my luck, right then a door opens in the hall in front of me and I freeze.

"Snowy?" Sarah yawns, still in her pyjamas. "What are you- oh." She says as she looks at me and realizes where I came from.

"Hi Sarah." I say, trying not to sound awkward about it.

"Have a good night?" She chuckles.

"Yeah. Not in the way you think, though." I quickly clarify and she nods, but looks at me skeptically.

"Rafe is just making breakfast, if you want to join us?" I suggest, not sure what to say.

"Ugh, pass." She laughs. "Enjoy though, I'll see you when I see you." Sarah says, going back into her room and closing the door.

I cringe a little internally as I walk past her closed door and down two sets of stairs, then find my way to the kitchen.

"Woah, shit you were not kidding." Rafe laughs, sitting at the kitchen island.

"Oh, this?" I giggle, gesturing to my hair. "Yeah it's pretty bad."

"Nah, it looks fine." He grins as I put my backpack on the floor. "Come sit." He pats the stool next to him.

"Thanks for making breakfast." I say as I sit down, instantly grabbing a piece of the toast he made and taking a bite.

"Of course." He nods, resuming eating his as well.

"So, what do you want to do?" I ask after we sit in silence for a few moments.

"Like, today?"

"No, no. I mean like, later this week. Should we do lunch or coffee or maybe go for a walk or something?" I suggest, smiling at him.

"Oh, yeah. Uh, up to you. I don't mind." He shrugs.

I think for a second. "Okay, well I'll think on it and send a postcard once I decide." I joke.

He looks at me confused. "Oh shit, right. You don't have a phone." He laughs once he gets it.

"I'll give you one of mine." Rafe says casually.

"You have more than one phone?" I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Well, yeah, I just got a new one in the fall so you can take my old one." He says, covering his mouth while he talks since he's still chewing.

"You don't have to do that." I shake my head. "I'll borrow JJ's or something."

"That's stupid, I've got one sitting in a drawer that I don't use. I want you to take it." He insists.

"Kook life goes crazy." I tease and he laughs, shrugging a little.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

About an hour later, I find myself still incredibly hungover, wearing Rafe's t-shirt, and with a new(ish) phone in my pocket as I walk back into the chateau after Rafe drops me off.

"Wow, morning sunshine." John B greets me as I enter, and I throw my bag on the ground and instantly flip face down the couch as he's in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Morning," I mumble, feeling the pounding in my head subside a little as I have my eyes covered.

"Hangover smoothie?" He asks and I give him a thumbs up without removing my head from the cushion.

I hear John B laugh and pull the blender out of a cupboard. "So, Snowy, we made a group chat without you since the twins have your phone."

"Rafe gave me a new one, I can add the new number," I reply, assuming that would be relevant.

"He got you a new phone?" He asks, shocked. "Wow. Anyways," he continues. "We got an interesting update from Kie last night.." He says, pausing to give me time to plead my case.

I sit up with a groan, holding my head. "Listen, John B, don't even worry about it. It's... yeah, don't worry." I don't really want to unload the whole story on him, especially about how we have a date set for a few days from now when I recover from this hangover.

John B laughs. "I'm not worried, I just want to know what happened." He asks. "And by the way, JJ wasn't in it. She just texted me and Pope."

"I, yeah. We, uhm.. don't worry about it." I say again, with a slight chuckle. Laughing makes my head hurt more.

"You didn't, Snowy-" John B asks, sounding more shocked than he was about the phone.

"No! no, no we didn't. Not, yeah, not that." I'm quick to clarify this time. "We just made out, and then I crashed at his place. That's all."

"That's not nothing." John B says, "Blender warning-" He adds, giving me a chance to cover my ears before he turns it on.

Once my hangover smoothie is done, he brings it to the couch for me and sits beside me. "Was it like, just a hookup situation? Or are their feelings involved?" He asks and I take the glass from him, taking a sip. It's so gross, but it almost instantly helps.

"Uh.. feelings," I mumble. "We have a date this week." I blush, hiding it in another drink from my smoothie.

"Shit, man.." John B says, leaning back and putting his arms across the back of the couch.

"Yep.." I nod. Neither of us says anything for a minute.

"Well, once JJ gets out of bed, we have an idea what Redfield is." John B tells me and I turn to look at him, surprised.

"No way!" I smile. "I'll get some painkillers in me and we'll do this."

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

"So, where are we off to?" I ask John B, as we all climb into the Twinkie. JJ hasn't said a word to me today- not directly, anyway.

"Redfield Lighthouse. My dad's favorite place." He answers, a smile pulling at his lips as he starts the Twinkie.

We pull up near the lighthouse, and all pile out of the vehicle. "Right, JJ, you're gonna post up and keep an eye out for Bogeys, alright?"

"What? Why me?" JJ responds.

"Because you're not coming," Pope says.

"Why?"

"Because there are independent and dependant variables," He explains. "You, are an independent variable, we don't know what you'll do."

"You're a tad unpredictable, JJ," I respond, sitting half inside and half outside the Twinkie.

"You both shut up!" JJ says, and I roll my eyes.

"Listen. Pope, Snowy, you stay here with JJ. See? You've got company." John B suggests and I nod a little. This will be interesting. "If we get split up, we meet back at JJ's house."

"Sounds good." I agree, giving them a thumbs up, and John B and Kie say their goodbyes, starting to head toward the entrance of the lighthouse.

I stay in my spot, grabbing my vape from my pocket as JJ starts playing hacky sack with a rock. I can tell he starts to get frustrated, and then he kicks it up into the air, hard.

"You know what, Snowy? I can't take this. Let's talk, alright?" He turns to me. I raise my hands in surrender and nod.

"Yeah, I'll be, uh, over here if you guys need me.." Pope says, wandering off. He doesn't want to get involved and I wouldn't either.

"JJ, come sit," I say, exhaling the smoke from my lungs and patting the spot next to me as I move over a little.

He sighs and sits next to me.

"I really, really don't want to fight.." I tell him quietly, looking at the ground in front of us.

"Let's just talk then."

"Okay." I smile a little and decide to look up at him.

"JJ, I feel like you don't care about me sometimes when you do things like hold a gun to my brother's head." I giggle a little, trying to set this up like we're in couples therapy or something.

JJ nods. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. However, that had nothing to do with you. I would have done the same thing if it was anybody else." He explains

"I would expect nothing less. But you didn't let me finish," I smile, poking his chest. "Then you immediately went and slept with some random girl, while I was throwing up on the side of the road, walking home alone. After witnessing my brother, and best friend almost die. I was alone." I started with a sort of laugh, but by the time I finished talking, I was almost in tears. I look back up at JJ and he nods, running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, Snowy, I'm sorry." He apologizes, rubbing my back. "I was drunk, I was reckless, I was an independent variable, or whatever Pope said. "But, you can't be mad at me for sleeping with 'some random girl' when you went to mack on Rafe Cameron last night."

I bite my lip. "I wasn't mad about that," I lie. "I felt like you didn't care that I was hurting, and that made me sad."

"You told me you weren't mackin' on him," JJ said, smiling a little and nudging me with his elbow. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

I roll my eyes playfully. "Okay well, when I told you that, it wasn't the plan. Ask Kie, she'd never seen me that drunk. Maybe she has a couple times, actually. But it's going in the highlights reel for sure." I laugh.

JJ nods. "Regardless, I do care about you. And that's why I was mad about you hanging out with that Kook. He's bad news. And that's coming from me."

"I see that now." I agree. "Just... don't take it out on him. I had a great time. He was so... kind, to me..." I trail off. Something doesn't feel right about raving to JJ the way I did to Kie.

"That's great, and all, but for how long, you know, Snowy? How long is he nice to you before he sees that we will always hold you back and he ditches you?"

"Don't say that. You guys don't hold me back from shit. Also, he won't do that. But, if he does, I know I have my crew." I smile, nudging him back.

JJ goes to respond just as we hear Pope's feet hitting the ground coming towards us.

"Cops- guys, cops!" He says, jumping in the driver's seat and turning on the engine.

"Are we just gonna leave them?" I ask as Pope peels us out and I close the sliding door. "I can't see them."

"They'll be fine- we planned for this," Pope says as JJ climbs into the passenger seat.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

We make it back to JJ's house, and I decide to lie down on the dock while JJ and Pope work on a bike in the garage just behind the house.

I take off my shirt and lay it down as a cushion, so my back doesn't hit the warm and broken wood. I pull out my new phone and decide now is a good time to reach out to the twins. I text them, tell them I've got a hold of a new phone, and they are happy to hear from me. Then, I open my text from Rafe.

R: hey, new phone treating you alright?

S: yeah, i love it! thanks again :)

He texts back almost immediately.

R: what are you up to?

S: i'm at jj's with him and pope. what about you? golfing with kegs?

R: pretty much, yeah

S: sounds like fun. kegs took me once, i blacked out and did donuts in the golf cart. they banned me :(

R: lol

R: i'm sure they'll make an exception when i take you, my dad practically owns the club

S: what doesn't he own? lol

R: true

It's been so long since I laid down, that I fall asleep, phone in hand, and don't notice I did until I am woken up. "Hey, Snowy." It's Pope. "Snowy, hey, we got John B. They got pulled to the sheriff's office, we've got to go get Kie."

I open my eyes and sit up, stretching as I stand up. I put my phone and my vape back in my pocket and pull my shirt, which is actually rafe's shirt back on, getting up and following Pope up to where the Twinkie was parked in front of the house. I climb in the back, and JJ is in the passenger seat with John B behind the wheel.

"What happened" I ask him? leaning up between the two seats.

"I kinda broke the guys arm and he said we were tweaked, called the cops."

"Ah, yes. Of course." I chuckle, sitting back down. "So what's the move now?"

"I have another idea."

We get Kie, and head into the old graveyard. It's pitch black by the time we get there, so we break out the flashlights as we trudge into the woods. "Does anyone know how to use the flashlight on an iphone?" I ask, following closely behind Pope.

"Here." Kie laughs and I hand her my phone. I watch her as she turns it on, then hands it back.

"Ah, I got it. Thanks." I laugh with her, lifting it up so I can see where I'm going.

"Olivia Redfield. My great, great, great grandmother." John B says, stopping in front of a enclosed grave.

"Woah.." I say, stealing closer and wiping off the front where the inscription is.

"Let's get this door open." JJ says, and I step out of the way so the boys can try and get it open. I know I wouldn't be much help, especially since JJ and I smoked up a bit on the drive there.

Kie and are are watching them push, when suddenly we hear a hissing sound, looking at each other, and then around on the ground. "Whoa!" Pope says when he spots it, a snake on the ground. I let out a small scream and step back.

"A snake?!" JJ says, "That's a moccasin alright- ye olde Dr. Cottonmouth. Death in the tall grass."

"Oh my god-" I say, grabbing Kie's arm as JJ promptly starts to bark at it, taking all seriousness out of the situation and I giggle.

"JJ, shut up! Shut up!" Kie shouts.

"You're gonna wake the dead, man." Pope says, tapping his shoulder and giving him a light shove.

"Dude, everyone knows they're afraid of dogs." He says, continuing to bark at it.

"Look, John B, listen, we're not gonna get in there. It's not budging. Let's just get out of here." Pope says, keeping an eye on the snake.

"What if someone goes through?" Kie asks. I think Snowy and I could fit." She explains.

"What?" JJ turns to face us. "Snowy, no, no way. Y'all are not going in there."

"You think you'll fit in there?" John B asks.

"Look, this is about your dad." Kie says.

"You deserve to know the truth, John B." I say, looking at Kie and nodding.

We walk over to the spot where we see a hole up where we can climb in, and JJ holds he hands together so he can boost us up.

We both climb in, and begin looking around.

"Y'all okay?" One of the boys calls into us.

"Yeah, still alive." Kie replies. "Woah, Snowy, look at this." She picks up a dusty orange envelope.

"Guys, we got something!" I say, picking up the envelope that clearly was thrown in the same way we entered, some months ago.

My phone starts ringing, right as I hear the boys asking what it is. I hand the envelope off to Kie, and picking it up.

"Hello?" I ask, hearing a distinct "Is she on the phone right now?" On the outside of the tomb.

"Hey, Snowy."

"Oh, hi Rafe."

"There it is." I hear from outside.

"Guys, here." Kie throws it out the hole we climbed in as I cover my other ear so I can hear over my friends talking.

"Where are you right now?" He asks.

"Uh, the graveyard?" I answer and hear him laugh.

"What?"

"Yeah, just for funzies." I shrug.

"Uh, alright, I always wondered what you pogues did with your free time."

"Now you know." I giggle, shaking my head as I pace inside the tomb.

"I just wanted to check up on you, also see if you maybe wanted to do lunch or coffee tomorrow?" Rafe asks and I smile, looking at Kie, who's busy talking to the boys through the hole in the wall.

"Yeah, I'd love that. Making Waves?" I ask.

"Would you really want to go to your place of work on a day off?" I put the phone between my ear and tilt my head to hold it on my shoulder while I climb out behind Kie.

"It'll be a nice change of scenery, being there as a customer." I say, hopping down.

"Shit, square groupers!" JJ says suddenly, and I look back as I grab the phone before being pulled behind the tomb to hide.

"Turn off the flashlights!" Kie whispers.

"Okay, I've got to go." I whisper into the phone. "Coffee sounds great. Bye."

"Wait, wait, Snowy what's happening?" I can hear him ask, just before I hang up and a shot rings out.

"Shit!" I say, hanging up the phone just before we take off running towards the fence out of the graveyard. I can feel my phone buzzing in my hand as we sprint to the fence, and JJ helps push me up as the gunshots continue.

We hop over and keep running for our lives towards the Twinkie, stopping when we hear Pope calling for help. I turn and see his shorts are caught on the fence. "Shit.." John B says, and we all start running back.

JJ stops and pushes me back towards the van. "Go to the Twinkie. Snowy- run!" He says, pushing me again gently. I turn back and keep running, grabbing Kie's hand and pulling her with me. We get to the Twinkie and hide inside, peeking out the window and opening the door when we see the boys running towards us, Pope now missing his shorts. Kie and I can't help but laugh, despite having just been shot at.

"Don't you say a fucking word." He says, covering his crotch and adjusting his boxers as he sits down and John B starts the car and we take off.

We're all talking over each other as we drive, trying to comprehend what just happened. I glance out the window as we see an approaching light, and then as a red dirt bike flies past us heading towards the cemetery.

"Guys, guys! John B, stop! Stop the car!" I shout over everyone, and John be slams on the breaks.

"Guys that was Rafe, hold on-" I say, jumping out of the van before it's fully stopped and running back towards the way that Rafe went, waving my arms in the air hoping he sees me in his rear view mirror.

I keep waving until I see him slow to a stop and turn around. When he gets closer, I wave for him to follow us and I jump in the van.

"Drive." I tell John B, as everyone is asking me what I'm doing. "Just drive!" I shout. "The groupers are probably following us we have to get out of here."

"Where am I supposed to go?" John B says as he starts driving.

"Anywhere, hide us! Something!" I say frantically.

I watch Rafe following behind us, hoping the groupers don'r catch up to us, until we turn off on a side street and into some bushes, turning off the lights.

I jump out of the car as soon as we stop, and run up to the road where Rafe is getting off his bike.

"Snowy, what the fuck is going on? I heard gunshots are the phone are you okay?" Rafe asks, rushing over to me.

"I'm fine- we're fine." I explain and he nods, running his hand through his hair and turning around, pacing before turning back to me and giving me a hug, placing his hand on the back of my head.

"You scared the shit out of me. Who was shooting at you?" He asked, moving his head back and holding the sides of my head to look at me.

"They- uhm... it's complicated." I sigh. "Don't worry. We're fine."

He sighs and pulls me closer, hugging me again and stroking my hair.

"Thank you.. for coming to help." I say quietly. I feel him nod, and then rest his chin on my head.

"Any time."

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

A/N; Long ass chapter today- sorry lol -R

#rafe cameron #jj maybank #obx #obx fanfic #outer banks #rafe obx #rafe cameron x oc #jj maybank x oc #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron x reader #rafe imagine #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe x y/n #outerbanks #rafe cameron fic

[sinni-ok-sessi]

Fic writer interview

Tagged by @bitterflames, thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3? 21, a number that surprises me every time by being both more and fewer than I think it should be

What’s your total AO3 word count? 186, 378 (again, feels like this is both way too many words and also not as many as it ought to be)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Moonlight as My Guide (The Untamed) The Naming of Small Things (The Untamed) Continuing Professional Development (The Magnus Archives) Noli me tangere (The Magnus Archives) Spin Me Right Round (The Untamed)

Nothing suprising here, given the ridiculous size of those two fandoms, but I am always charmed by the love CPD gets, given it's mostly me making jokes about a librarianship conference I went to once

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Aaaagh, I wish I did? I'm bad at thinking of things to say! I think I do better at responding in small fandoms where I know/know of most of the commenters and 'thank you for being on this small liferaft with me' feels like an appropriate sentiment

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I don't really do angst-angst, but The Winding Roads They Led Me Here is probably the most obviously not-a-happy-ending thing I've written?

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I am surveying my corpus and learning that wow, I write a not inconsiderable number of things about learning to live when you don't really want to? Shan't be analysing that too closely, tyvm, but I do remain pleased with the way And Green the Ground Below and Breathe In For Luck came out. For sheer straightforward glee at the ending, it's gotta be never knew a part of you / you didn't set in ink

Do you write crossovers? No, I imagine crossovers at great length and then make no moves towards writing anything down (see: the sprawling Nirvana in Fire/Vorkosigan series Entity that gets passed around between me and several friends, which consists entirely of one of us going 'hey have you thought about if X met Y?' and then yelling about that for several hours straight)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? lol, only from the one person who told me 'toxic xiyao' was ruining MaMG, which is very funny to me because that's kind of the point in that fic

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yeahhhh but I find it very difficult. A long, hard process, in fact. As for 'what kind', uh, mutually obsessive D/s dynamics pretty much covers it, I think

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah! Someone on Wattpad was translating MaMG into Spanish, though idk how far they got

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No because I am very secretive about showing people my writing until it's 'presentable' and I think that would kill me

What’s your all-time favorite ship? [Douglas Richardson voice] Sir is fickle and changeable [/Douglas Richardson voice], but I think the ship I have spent longest actively contemplating is proooobably MCS/Jingyan?

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? All of themmmmmmm. (No, I would really like to do more with the Langya Hall prequel fic, but I think it's currently beyond my confidence as a writer so...)

What are your writing strengths? Fraught conversations and minute observations of body language, my beloved

What are your writing weaknesses? Plot? I don't know her. Pacing? A distant acquaintance at best

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I doubt I ever would, because I'm not confident in the spoken forms of any language I quote-unquote 'know', and I also find the 'multilingual character uses non-English endearments for their beloved' trope to be...a little painful, but I'm not averse to the idea on principle, though I suspect it requires more skill than people generally think to pull it off well

What was the first fandom you wrote for? hhhhh fucking. Sherlock Holmes (ACD stories), I think. Maybe the Psmith books by PG Wodehouse? I think it's for the best that the fic I wrote as a teen is marooned somewhere on LJ

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I'm not going to do it, because it involves way too much compartmentalising not to set off my RPF squick, but god those sad boat men from The Terror are compelling and would bring me nicely back into my wheelhouse of repressed Victorians and also the Navy (I think I never actually finished writing anything for the Hornblower fandom back in the day, but my god it was not for lack of trying)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? usually my most recent fic tbh (in this case, Make A Mercy Out of Me, which is, uh, unrepentant Disguiser smut and therefore of interest to like. three people worldwide, but that's fine)

tagging: @tallangrycockatiel, @goingsparebutwithprecision and anyone else who's interested and hasn't already been tagged

#tag games #writing about writing

[rhoeysama]

Few things are as pretentious and arrogant as putting a watermark on AI-compiled "art" and post it as your own. I see this lately on DeviantArt (an artist community/ art sharing and hosting platform I've been a part of for 15+ years). As if you made it. As if you thought it up and made 10-20+ sketches before you found a composition you actually liked. As if you spent 20, 50, 100+ hours making it. As if you lost sleep making it. As if you sat on your ass for so many hours that your ass got flat and numb and your back aches, your wrist aches, you're hungry, you have to pee, and you're running on coffee just to function, and just realized that you haven't eaten or showered or even been outside all day.

Unless you have dedicated your life and sacrificed yourself - i.e. chosen your ART for years over hanging out with friends, partying, dating & hooking up, lying on the beach, clubbing, binge-watching Netflix or gaming, etc etc - you don't get to call yourself an artist and claim you MADE anything. Sorry, not sorry. This isn't me gatekeeping art; this is me calling out art theft.

I've "made" stuff with AI too. It literally took me less than 5 minutes. All I had to do was type some words into a program and wait for it to compile some images. THAT'S. IT. It takes existing artwork from the internet and pretty much mashes it together. It's not new. It's not original. You didn't make it. Honestly, I'm so sick of seeing it. DeviantArt is almost nothing but AI art anymore, and some people are blatantly posting AI images and calling them "digital art", deliberately not tagging it or disclosing it as AI. What's even more infuriating is that some have "subscriptions" and "take commissions", as in you can pay them to type some words into a program and have it steal art from around the web so they can call themselves an artist. Wow, that was easy! So glad they didn't have to WASTE years of their lives practicing their craft and honing those skills, am I right??

What comes cheap has no value. If anyone can be an artist by the press of a button, then art has no value. True value is the sacrifice - the energy that went into creating the work. The time and attention it took, the LOVE, and YES, the SACRIFICE. I know that's not a popular word these days. Everyone wants to have everything, but nobody wants to compromise and sacrifice for it and do what it takes to get there. Do the hard work without the guarantee of success.

Yes, I am salty. No, I don't care if you're offended. This is such a big fuck you to artists like myself, who have worked our whole lives to hone our craft. It's taking narcissism to a whole new level.

I'm not making art for praise or attention and recognition. I'm making art because I'm passionate about it, I LOVE it, and because it's my way of honoring God, my creator. It gives me purpose and meaning, it's my way of prayer and meditation and healing. It's fun and makes me feel alive and like a child.

AI is fun and all, don't get me wrong. But it isn't YOUR art. It's actually other artists' work that's being stolen and used to render "your" art. Let's not forget that. Be very mindful of this when using AI.

Humility is out of fashion and narcissism and hubris are the new normal. Welcome to Clownworld.

#I'm venting because this has been bothering me for a while #this might be inflammatory but I couldn't care less #rant #I am praying for humanity

[longeyelashedtragedy]

i was fake tagged by my bff @perfectpiety <3

current favorite songs:

idk about favorite but here are some i have been listening to

potpuri vlonjate - tahir boshkaj & haxhi arapi - when i get into a mood for this song i fall into the "why am i late? oh bc i tried to fit a 9+ min song into 3 minutes" zone. you know a song really slaps if it's not on spotify!

the chauffeur - duran duran omg...i used to listen to this song so often a few years ago. it's so stupidly otherworldly good! and then i guess it kind of fell out of favor till it appeared on the "do you like this song" blog a few weeks ago and ever since then i can't get enough of it. i don't know why, but ever since i first heard it, this became my "tragic rich guy who has to act heterosexual" song. it's got something to do with the line "my envied lady holds you fast in her gaze." i'm not sure if i can explain it! but that's also one of my favorite song lines, haha. fuck this song is so good--i don't think i like duran duran most of the time, so idk what they did here

mayores - becky g & bad bunny -it's just so catchy and fun, you can't help but sing along!-

norafjølls - bukkene bruse - old reliable fav since high school, this norwegian fiddle song is just Sublime and hypnotizing! it relaxes me but drives me forward, and the slow vocal section in the middle is so mysterious, though i have no idea what it means...i think he's talking about death and...boys...but i could have heard the words all wrong lol

fotografi - reealt - otherwise known as the rapper who did a song about the xhakabrothers ("34"), this song is just...really beautiful to me in its way? one of those songs that uses autotune well. it's also got a music video that's very aesthetically pleasing and it comes with albanian subtitles! i can understand the entire chorus (all...3 lines) wow, gold star A+ for the lazy language study method. but yeah this has been on repeat!

plaga - reealt - i've been listening to this a lot so i think that's why youtube autoplayed me fotografi

last song:

fotografi by reealt

last watched (movie/tv show):

i actually just watched a movie over the weekend! "encounter in the air," directed by ardit sadiku. i love his movies!

currently reading:

i just finished a couple books. i'm slowly making my way through pasión y gestión (about the former president of argentina when he was presisdent of boca juniors) which i started reading 57393489349 years ago but never finished, and am about to start a new book from my library pile. i've been reading more fiction this year and it's interesting how much faster i read fiction than nonfiction

currently obsessed with:

still just football! my life is pretty boring

relationship status:

in my aromantic era. like, if someone wanted to hook up with an exhausted average-looking lump i'm so down, but the idea of being In Love (which i used to be so into!) has zeeeeero appeal, i'm not sure what happened to me!

tagging: YOU!!!!!

#about me

[goldensadnessdolphin]

Spoilers for Jujutsu Kaisen S2E16 ("Thunderclap 2") as well as brief mention of S2E17 (Right and Wrong), HeroAca and Chainsaw Man (the latter only gets name dropped) under the cut:

The latest Jujutsu Kaisen episode would've been really good if there was any tactics or good choreography involved. I don't think I've ever been so disengaged from an anime fight scene. Powerlevels felt pulled out of their arse. The explanation why Sukuna could beat Mahogara without giving Fushiguro a massive powerspike was contrived at best and unnecessary at worst. Felt like an excuse to animate a big battle to take a break from... animating big battles. And what would be the harm of putting "I need to save the world with my power" on more than Itadori's shoulders? Fushiguro isn't the type to take that in a healthy way anyways. USE THE DRAMA YOU CAN CREATE!

This whole season has sucked so far because the powerlevels are getting too high too fast. A lot of Shonen have that problem, especially modern Shonen (looking at you, worthless My Villain Academia Arc and Chainsawman in its entirety). I normally like Shonen, but it feels like everyone is ready to throw pacing off a cliff just to make a world-ending scenario 2-3 seasons before it'd be sensible. I know this sounds like advocating for padding, but my point is that you can have a gradual pacing curve and don't need to construct Everest in the middle of your shopping cart.

Like, we went from "One Finger might kill you!!1!1!!11!" to "with ten or so fingers in 2 minutes, I can haz Sukuna? Sukuna for 5 minutes? You spoil me, sir!"

I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. Actually, I'm both. Because I really admired the world JJK created and now it's effectively them fighting on Namek for all the world cares. Unless there'll be a major arch where we get a season+ of the world finding out about Jujutsu Sorcerers and how they shaped the world. So:

new politics

a "greater good" locking away of Itadori in a way that forces him to either absorb and destroy Sukuna with his godlike power of being the protagonist or be absorbed himself

a reduction and refocusing on freeing Gojo in the meantime (because I fully expect him to come back even more Deus Ex Machina than before in more dire straights)

Otherwise this either turns the show into the aforementioned Namek (i.e. Zero Consequence Zone - but we say there are consequences -) or just another They Fight Until The Author Is Tired From Wanking Themselves To Death.

EDIT: Just watched the episode after and it's so much better. In it's stakes and it's choreography. Felt way more gripping than Two Immortal Entities Have A Pissing Contest ALSO EDIT: These are the tags I had after the warning labels, but tumblr shows them even if you put the rest of a post beneath a cut. So here they are: #this whole ''the entire world is in danger'' shit is so trite and boring now#because emotion comes from connection#and you can't expect a world ending threat#- that comes so suddenly -#to make me do anything other than say#''wow; I really hope the animators got paid well for this bullshit. Wish I could follow it with any interest''

#.txt #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #JJK #JJK spoilers #jjk season 2 #rant #further tags put on the end of the actual post #because there were potentially spoilery sidenotes in there

[va-diarydash]

When the Rain Invites Me to a Snuggle Fest

August 1, 2023

Wow, what a delightful start to August! Snuggled up in bed, battling the gloomy weather is quite a challenge. If only my to-do list was shorter and the client calls fewer, I'd let my laziness throw a little party. But duty calls, and with a smile, I shall rise and conquer my day!

Despite feeling a little lazy and being 30 minutes late for work, I can proudly say that I'm improving. There's a newfound joy, motivation, and fulfillment in my work now. Of course, I still have some worries about work-related things, but I think that's normal as everyone gets busy. I'm not operating at 100% today; my psychologist advised me to slow down, and today I'm feeling extra slow. The weather is definitely affecting my mood and work momentum. I must admit, I'm strongly tempted, about 95% close, to snuggle up in a blanket and spend the day in bed. But luckily, I managed to pull myself together and get some work done.

Today, I felt a twinge of sadness and ended up overthinking a situation. I've been working on communicating more lately, but earlier, I felt a bit ignored. In our group chat, when others ask questions about work, they get instant responses from fellow members. However, when it's me asking a question, it seems like no one replies. I had to tag specific people and repeat my question to get an answer. It's really puzzling because I have a good relationship with them, and they genuinely care for me. This makes me wonder why – am I not that interesting, or do they think I don't really need help? Regardless, I'll use this experience to reflect and find a better approach next time, rather than dwelling on it.

But aside from that situation, I am actually happy today! Normally, I get shy when someone praises me or compliments my work. But this time, even though I still feel a little bashful, I decided to accept the compliment with a simple "thanks" and a smile. Surprisingly, it made me even happier! I'm not sure why, but it's something I'll definitely ponder. Maybe accepting compliments is one of the secret to boosting happiness and confidence!

And guess what? I managed to leave work earlier than expected today! It seems like the weekly management plan is doing wonders for me. There's still so much to explore and improve within myself, and today's events proved that. But you know what? I'm feeling really happy and content with my little progress so far!

Positive Talk:

- You are more than enough, just the way you are!

- You're blossoming and making progress every day!

- Look at you! Today, you're even happier than yesterday!

- You did great today and handled everything like a pro!

- Remember, not every day is smooth sailing, but let's embrace the challenges and grow from them!

- Everyone adores you, so don't overthink it!

#mentalhealth #awareness #photography #mentalhealthawareness #intramuros

[kjmellow]

I posted 429 times in 2022

That's 428 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (3%)

415 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dyonisia96

@nightscavalry

@johannesviii

@alyona11

@lelelego

I tagged 391 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#yes - 5 posts

#babies - 4 posts

#wow - 4 posts

#also op your board game q made me sad bc i've literally never played any of those and only heard of like two this girl had no childhood - 3 posts

#doctor who - 3 posts

#owo it's all of dem space-time blorbos!!!! - 2 posts

#the stars don't come out because they never left - 2 posts

#omg - 2 posts

#except i didn't play fnaf but have binged playthroughs from like five different people aaaa - 2 posts

#why am i in love with leela's outfit - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if anything they barely interact with the tardis in what i've been reading and i've read like twenty-five books all about different doctors

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Seeing Sandman posts on my feed is so confusing because for such a long time the only Dream I saw shit about was that Minecraft guy and every time I see Dream my first though is The fuck that smp guy did this time and my brain takes a fucking minute to process that it's a wrong fandom

3 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

WAIT DID THEY REALLY JUST

Did they just take THE SAME Bee and Puppycat and make it LONGER for Netflix??????

Does that mean I didn't have to rewatch it twice in a row to comprehend at least a lil bit what tf was going on???? I had to just wait for a normal show?????

Not like I mind, the cartoon is gorgeous either way (I'm on ep one btw and I think at least the first of Bee's weird dreams looked cooler in the og show) BUT MAN

I never thought I'd actually see the day

6 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#3

Petition for Dana Terrace to leave our boi Hunter the fuck alone. Our blorbo has suffered enough.

7 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#2

Hey hermits of tumblr here's a fun challenge for you:

Describe your character quirks i.e. list out habits and traits you have that would make you stand out if you were a character in a work of fiction. This is an exercise in finding something unique about each of us. And also a possible help for writers looking for something to add to their characters ;)

Here's my ✨ character quirks ✨

Hates wearing makeup but likes the process of someone applying makeup on her or doing her hair

Actually uses a set of like a hundred aquarelle pencils instead of eye liner/lipstick/masquerade makeup when she feels extra fancy (usually ends up making rainbow eye liner)

Sometimes acts like a cat around friends she's comfortable with (rubs head, lies with head on knees, purrs when receives pats)

Has a comedic amount of cats (four) and wants more

Has zero coherence in clothing style a bunch of fandom clothes being the only constant thing

Wears exclusively converse spring through autumn (as long as the weather is good enough)

Carries a book around most of the time; in fact spent her prom reading and tuning out the music (which she is extremely proud of and will tell everyone at the first opportune moment)

Swears a whole fucking lot

Quotes memes/films/TV shows a lot or at least really wants to with the only thing stopping her the fact that she knows a quote she has in mind is too niche to be understood

Absolutely cannot sleep with the lights on or during the day; will wake up at dawn if the curtains aren't drawn

Grandma friend: will try to feed you everything there is in the house if you come visit

Some people spend tons of money on clothes; others can't walk past a make-up shop; this bitch has no self-control when entering a bookstore (in fact she would refuse to spend too much on food but then she goes near a bookstore and wakes up an hour later with two bags of books)

Compliments friends in fairly smooth pick-up lines at any given opportunity

8 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

19 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #love how I actually suddenly became super active here #like literally out of nowhere lmao

[princesskuragina]

The Story of Mary Maclane, Mary Maclane / Little Women, Greta Gerwig / A Dance With Dragons, George R. R. Martin / Macbeth, William Shakespeare / Gentleman Jack, Sally Wainwright / The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, Sylvia Plath

#honestly i made this entire post just to share that mary maclane quote #quote #ADWD #asoiaf #macbeth #shakespeare #mary maclane #sylvia plath #little women #gentleman jack #lesbian #wlw #cersei #anne lister #jo march #dark academia #bookblr #that's way more tags than I've used in a minute wow