#thats all i have to say im very basic brain HAHAHA
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okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare
oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha
bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest
but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long
basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave
so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)
sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing
Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)
so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow
both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion
alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state
once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is
achingly effortlessly cool
oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)
a skilled fighter
a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)
and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)
but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona
achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)
oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)
a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)
a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)
because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with
also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do
#stridercest#davedirk#dirkdave#alphacest#my t#thank you if you read all this HAHAHA#i am dedicated to my craft (autistic) (indulgent)
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im not op but im gonna bounce off on it still!!!! mt such a great analysis i love what youre saying about how the narrative in tyk works, how through recontextualization (either by the narrative itself, shifting angles at a later date, or the reader when rereading the novel) things come to light that were intentionally or by happenstance hidden before. many thoughts regarding narrative and how it works (and how zzs makes use of it). this topic specifically has my brain rotting since i first read the novel. tyk has always felt like a tragedy disguised as a comedy to me, youre putting it so well. anyway, this is not an analysis but your words (and also op‘s words) reminded me of the scene in ch.8 (i think) when wenzhou are in the forest and investigate these two sudden murders and follow wkx‘s underling into the abandoned graveyard. especially the scene at the graveyard, told through zzs‘s eyes, is so super interesting to me. i imagine in other wuxia stories this would be atmospheric, spooky, maybe intimidating and creepy. but zzs seems so unimpressed! he relays the atmospheric markers (he remarks on the state of the graveyard, mentions the rat with its red eyes, the single owl perching utop the branch, the odd fog) but narrates it in such a way that the first time reading it, it sounded jarring and almost comical to me. it gets even weirder by wkx starting with his ghost stories and trying to impress zzs, who continues to not be impressed at all. i feel like, since zzs is such a die hard jianghu fanboy, and this is basically his first time doing jianghu things (and he seems to be aware that this scenario is characteristically wuxia), he is basically not just narrating whats happening but also commenting upon it from the angle of someone who had higher expectations and is very eager to follow that path to its end to see what turns up, but doesnt really seem all that moved when happening upon these things in reality. zzs is not the usual wuxia hero, and tyk is very earnest in taking these differences and zzs‘s familiarity with violence seriously and has zzs react and act in authentic ways. like, when they find that murder scene in the woods upon following the scream, and immediately start their weird investigation-flirting-insulting and wkx goes and casually pulls that guy whos hanging in a tree to the ground so they can have a better look at it, and it just severs the poor guy’s head. thats so fucked up and strange!!!!! but its so downplayed its actually jarring!!!! its almost comical!!!!! anyway hello hi hello mt!!!! i didnt mean to write so much i just have a lot of thoughts hehehehe
hahaha hello!!!! Sorry I took so much time to respond!!
Yes yes to all this!! Essentially answering so this can be out in the open hehehe.
One thing that I feel like reacting to, though---translating Qi Ye, I recently stumbled upon several references of ZZS being a "seasoned jianghu traveller" and having had a lot of experience in jianghu already; so I guess we can conclude that he does have experience in jianghu (only that he left it around 8-9 years ago) but that he probably always had a remote look at it, from the shadows from which Siji operated. This time, he gets to "play" too, in a way.
I feel like, given how smug he tends to sound when bringing up Siji's skills and activities, he may have this sort of patronizing look on the "sillier", more "classical" strange wuxia adventures, which he has been able to watch but almost like a puppet master (since Siji controlled a lot of the politics etc) and his fun, curious, detached and "demystifying" approach could be reflecting that.
Anyway, thank you so much for the thoughts!!!
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Late 4 ship meme uhhhh guzma x cyrus AKA parental issues/we need therapy the ship
i had to think REALLY HARD about this one grkjhgld this is the first time ive ever considered this ship!!! which is funny because i have gone down the guzma/giovanni rabbithole beforef hriuehge
please excuse both my handwriting and the weird font, i turned off my tablet and was too lazy to turn it back on again
i feel like i should explain myself for this one too
so like yeah therapy??? they meet in therapy maybe??? like. state-mandated therapy for both of them for their Crimes. And guzma comes in acting like the Big Man in the room like a completely hardened criminal like yeah man im in a GANG i was a GANG LEADER we took voer a TOWN and messed shit up hahaha whatre you here for nerd? >:) and cyrus looks him dead in the eye and says "i summoned an eldritch beast and almost rewrote all of space and time in my image." and guzma doesnt believe it first but then like one day nanus just like yeah no thats basically what happened
anyways they like. get coffee together afterwards while they wait for the bus. and i dont really see them having a big huge romantic affair or anything. im not sure if theyre ace or aro or demi or what but for them as characters i dont usually envision them really getting physical often unless its with very specific people. but i think they would form a very strong bond over their experiences with their families, the isolation they've felt in their lives and so on, and guzma's not the most book smart but despite being loud and wild he's very dependable and like. stable when he's given room to be. especially as they're both very forthcoming characters and guzma isn't afraid to speak his mind to cyrus, and will take genuine interest in cyrus's hyperfixations.
idk they have a lot to bond over i guess :thinking emoji: guzma will always be impressed by cyrus's big brain and cyrus will always be impressed how guzma can be the world's biggest dumbass but also like be very grounded and worldly about some things.
also its not so much that guzma borrows cyrus's clothes, it's more like cyrus kind of insists on him having Decent Clothes to wear when hes hanging around Team Galactic as though they do not all look like galaxy quest rejects
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Hey all! Announcement stuff!
Thank you to everyone who has been very patient with me. I swear to god i could turn into one of those Ao3 authors thats like "hahaha sorry i havent updated in so long i died and then came back to life and then i had to work 7 jobs" and im being so fucking brave about it!! ANYWAYS THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!
Tomorrow is the 1 Year anniversary of steady tracks chapter 1! 🥳(and also my birthday. yes that was on purpose)
So! I wanted to give you all some updates and stuff to look forward to because oh god it sure has been an entire fucking year since I uploaded stuff and I refuse to feel bad about it but my brain is trying so hard to make me! I am working on chapter 2. Progress has been terribly slow because of severe life events, thank you for your understanding.
So!! What's next? Well, over the summer I am really fucking hoping to finish chapter 2. I know I keep saying this but literally i stg. I'm going apeshit. do you know how hard it is to think about something for an entire year and never have the time, motivation, or energy at the same time to make it exist?? fucked up!!
Before that though, I have a few things.
I TOLD you all that I would talk about an AU of mine, whichever was highest voted in that strawpoll I did, and then surprise i fuckin didnt do that. I would very very much like to do that! The problem, I realized, is that I operate super hard on a reactionary basis so I am not prone to talking about anything that is mine until prompted about it or given permission. Fucking, Wack. This is my house. I should be cringe and free but nooooo. Anyways, because of this, I am planning on doing 2 things
-> Actually tell you guys about spirit keeper! You all voted for him back when, and especially with that ✨Fucking, Gorgeous✨ commission from Fronomeeps I got (for me birthday :]) I really really really want to do that. And post my art more. and shit like that. seriously i need to get out of my head or I'll explode. someone needs to scream about how cool these stories are with me or I'll dissolve.
-> I am thinking of doing a day long event where I stream an Aggie/(Magma?) where I draw my AUs and let people hop in to join in (as long as it stays on topic!) as well as answering as many asks as I can about my many aus and basically setting you guys up to trick me into infodumping. Because let me tell you i have a year and a halfs worth of words in my head and i am 100% confident ingo and emmet enjoyers would really like to hear them. So I wanna do a big ask party Q&A and really get things rolling!! Hopefully with drawings and doodles involved! as a celebration for myself, and as a way to open up to the greater fandom (Please leave a comment if you think that sounds cool, I'm trying to gauge interest because if i went all out and no one showed up it would be Extremely Depressing!)
ON! THAT! TOPIC!!! I am actively (literally interspersed with as I am typing this) making a UQUIZ about all of my significant AUs. For the record, there are 23 results on this quiz. I currently only have 3/23 final results completed, but it is my active focus over the weekend to finish as many of those as I can to try and complete the entire thing within a week or less. Also poking at my phrasing here, when I say my significant aus I Mean It, I have more than 23, but these 23 are the ones with stories tangible enough to start somewhere and elaborate on. I have about 10 that I would consider my main AUs, but some of the smaller ones are huge sleeper favorites.
SO YEAH!!! PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO THAT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!! I really wanna do fun stuff and get to know people in the fandom more than just. that person who wrote 1 chapter of a cool fic that one time. I have so much more to offer and I struggle so much to offer it. Please draw me out of my shell, I wish to enter the fandom sphere 🥺
thank you for giving me a great year <3
((and hopefully the next one will be better <3))
#Status Update#AUs#Long Post#Ingo pokemon#Emmet pokemon#Submas#i feel a little bad about putting this on the main tags but im not joking when i say i really wanna break out of my head and do something#fun and exciting#Subway Boss Jericho Taking The PA System Aux
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hi i just got back from a weekend at my partners and help i’m having some Thoughts. references to NSFW within.
so we have been recently talking about like. marriage. The General Future. in the very abstract. like the “if you were ever to get married what’s your ideal wedding” but never “if WE were to get married” or “WHEN you get married,” all very very abstract until suddENLY IT WASNT A S ABSTRACT THE OTHER DAY but that’s beside the point
this weekend i, like. idek what in particular was said or done to make me realize this. i think it was maybe just a bunch of little things. but like. i! okay. so two things. one, i think like my partner has internalized the “for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health” mentality ??? like??? not mentality. idk what else to call it. but like. through thick and thin w me. They’re In It. which brings me to two, i think this is the first time i’ve felt unconditional romantic love. which, haha, WOW, THATS A HELL OF A REVELATION!!!!
and i’m trying not to let these two things have me run scared just because they’re things i don’t know. like. i also love my partner very much, i hesitate to say it’s unconditional love not because there are plausible conditions i would not love them, but because the last person i loved unconditionally cheated on me and lied and schemed and manipulated me and did extreme damage that now my current partner is paying for. this is one such way theyre paying for it. i’m just. i can’t let myself classify it as unconditional love even if it’s basically that in everything but the name.
but like. comparing this love to the way cat loved me is like. the difference is so fucking stark. i don’t doubt she loved me but it had never felt like this. this is different, it is intense but easy. its so— it’s a love that builds me up instead of shackles me to one place. Like— this is so stupid, but i have always been intensely ashamed of my own pleasure. it was taught to me in my christian upbringing and then not reinforced by cat explicitly but like, not. addressed or dismantled in any way surely, but my partner is like. they will not let me hide my face while they’re teasing me, they make me say out loud what i want, what feels good, what doesn’t.
And in that i have found SO MUCH confidence, and it’s confidence i keep finding and building, and it’s one that makes me communicate better in bed, what’s working and what isn’t, which, SHOCKER! MAKES THAT SHIT MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE!!! and they do the same!!! which is GREAT for me because i want to know what i’m doing right and what i could be doing better!!!!
Like that’s just one example, it’s the one i have the most to say abt but like, there’s also that i’m a very jealous person and they’re aware of it and i’m working on it even though it’s hard and it sucks so bad, but like, on this trip it was mentioned and they said how much better i’d been about it and that it’s something we’d work though together and i’m just. HAHAHA WOW im tearing up writing about it hahahahaha okay
so like. yeah. so im trying not to let this level of intense, fierce but gentle, armor-penetrating love scare the absolute shit out of me because it’s NICE. it’s GOOD. it’s just so unfamiliar and foreign that my brain immediately assumes it’s either a trap or it’s something i can’t live up to
anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk
coming back to say it’s literally just so insane to me that someone might actually want to love me, and take care of me, forever. not because i don’t feel the same, but because it’s Me. and because that kind of thing has never felt like it could ever happen to me before.
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01/12/2022
Yesterday my dad called me and Im just not able to lie so I cried and told him about how much I was stressed out, he was first angry that I missed school but it turned out good I think. I did not told him I had suicidal thoughts tho ofc
Today was pretty ok, I went to school even tho I did 0 homework and manage not to get yelled out by teachers. I dont know why I assumed teachers would yell at me, its been years since a teacher has been mean to me but its just sticking to me I guess.
This journal was really a good idea, I never sorted out how I felt about school anxiety and I just now can pinpoint about certain teachers 3 or 2 years ago making me feel like shit.
Anyway I talked with some people today, nothing extraordinary but its still more than my school days so far with 0 human interaction haha, but theres a weird thing going on. Thats gonna be a long story to set the scene.
I previously talked about the girl I was with last year not wanting to be friends, but theres also her group not even aknowledging my existence. What really bothers me and makes me feel like they dont like me at ALL was that they slightly made me leave their table. At first they ignored me when I tried talking, then one day they all had at the same time this problem about wanting to have a table of 2 per person, I guess thats pretty useful but the way they put it was off, they had this problem after I was absent one day and a friend of them sat at my table of two, not in my seat tho and I sat there like usual. Then they were like "omggg thats gonna be so problematic" but thinking back about the scene it really was a problem for ONE person and they made it sound like it was a group problem. Anyway they added a table, I was then all the way to the left, then they started beeing closer to each other to the right and boom I was alone far from everyone.
I talked about this story to say, after I was absent again my chair dissapeared, thats when T and B asked me to sit at their table and i did so, but today my chair dissapeared there too ? Maybe a teacher used it coz it was convienient but where did it go, it dosnt looks like there was a chair missplaced but straight up dissapearing.
I also made theories about why the girl that seemed to dislike me would do so (Im gonna call her O) sooo O the girl that was in my class last year, the only time I interacted with her was a weird drama I was made the vilain in, basically I was in a group of two with someone else and she did not do her job, saying "ye I dont care if I have 0 I wont go do the presentation" and then when it was time to talk in front of the whole class she broke up in tears and pointed at me saying I was ghosting her and forced her to do everything. Sooo even tho I explained everything some people wernt aware of what really happened and O might still look at me as the awful doing nothing person idk 😨but that was theory 1, theory 2 is Im just akward, theory 3 now, is that she likes T.
I really like this guy coz I feel like we look alike so thats really the first person I try to be friends with, hes also one of the few person i interacted with even in my veryyyy akward phase (lets say Im less akward now even tho thats not the case I think) So why do I think that she might like him ? I theorise it was just a little crush and/or shes trying to stop now that he made clear he likes men lmao, but she really was a lot on his back sending messages not to forget homeworks, it even pissed him off once (idk if he was genuinly pissed and tried to hide it by laughing afterwards or I interpret wrong) and just her body language near him hahaha. I dont know if she looks at me so bad everyday and I just noticed when I was talking to T but wowwww. T is very popular with girls, and just everyone I think. There are other girls that seemed flustered when he talked to them and I heard gossip about his love life. YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS GOING NO ? WHAT IF ITS A JEALOUSY ACT lmaoooo would be so funny but my brain is just making up funny extreme stuff to entertain me and this blog I guess.
Yesterday it sounded like I was starving but I ate something 👍today I watched jjba instead tho, oopsi
its only been 2 says since I started posting, I know tumblr is basically dead but I wonder if anyone is gonna read all of this once omgggg
ok byebyeee
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klapollo week day 3: protection
#klapollo#klapolloweek2021#klavier gavin#apollo justice#ace attorney#idk how long they keep it secret or underwraps for from the media but i imagine at least in the beginning for a decemt while they do??#klavier tries his best... bc he knows its invasive and apollo is not that type of person to enjoy attention and spectacle#thats all i have to say im very basic brain HAHAHA#I suck at making plots apologies 💀#i think klavier would come around to being ok with letting ppl know but thats bc hes used to the media just. knowing everything abt him#and he is a saint and is very very patient with apollo but sometimes I think he would like to just say it#so he can able to show apollo his affection anytime without having to censor himself#but he is good boyfriend and good boyo and puts apollos feelings at the top tier priority so its ok .. eventually theyll go public ...
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Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀
Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche,
B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)
C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months.
So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons
I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher; “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too.
I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in.
Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him.
However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time.
He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed.
Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt.
I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens.
Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process.
Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week.
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Boys reaction to MC who never have date before meeting them. Like, the boys as MC's first love.
My first HC on here and I was memeing half the time while writing it. Included what the boys would do after hearing this news as well because why not. I’m not a Lucien fan but lord have mercy on my soul, I couldn’t help making his romantic af. He is the ideal boyfriend/date minus the l i e s that come in the MS and I hate it. All the crossed out stuff is just commentary because I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoy~ Thank you for your ask <3
How the MLQC boys react to being MC’s first love below the cut~
Victor:
Follows with some snarky comment after he calls her “Dummy”.
Let’s be real here, if he doesn’t call her dummy immediately, then something is wrong. Reminds me of when we streamed the first episode of MLQC and we were all yelling “CALL US BAKA” the second Victor came on screen.
While he seems cool and collected on the outside, you can hear the computer shutdown sound play on the inside.
To him, this is a shocking confession.
Victor: I’m not surprised a dummy like you hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.
Victor, internally: How has she never been in a serious relationship before??
He’s not very good at expressing himself honestly through his words but he truly admires MCs hardworking nature.
He finds that very attractive in a woman and is surprised that other men in the line of business haven’t taken their shot with her yet. it’s because they can feel your death stare on the back of their heads, kind sir
One thing he struggles with is being himself. He tries to act like everything is in his control all the time.
Because of this, upon hearing MCs confession, he invites her to a fancy dinner at his penthouse insert Victor’s Dazzling Date because THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. Jkjk haha... unless...
He wants to impress her as much as possible even though he knows deep down that she doesn’t care about what a person has and rather how they are as a person
BUT ALAS. The stress be real for her first boyfriend.
He wants her to know she made a good decision without verbally telling her out of his own bitch mouth I love you, please call me baka so he goes over the top with their first date.
Basically pulls a Mr. Krabs when taking Mrs. Puff on a date. Just add shades to Mr. Krabs to represent Victor’s “I’m calm. I’m chill. I’m all good. We vibin out here.”
All MC wants from him is his honest and genuine thoughts. and a lifetime stock of pudding because good god a girl has chocolate needs
MC eventually figures out Victor’s intentions with all the gifts he rains on her because hE dOesNt nEeD tHeM he can’t give her anything more than a cup of pudding up front
MC knows this and accepts the secret gifts with a smile.
She sends a gift in return to his office the following day along with a thank you for the wonderful date.
Can you hear that? It’s the sound of Victor’s heart rate slowing to the average persons.
Kiro:
insert pikachu meme
This boy is mind blown.
“How have you never been in a relationship before??? That can’t be true!”
Kiro sees the good in everyone, so hearing that MC has never been in a relationship before him is
He gives her a bright smile and playfully hugs her from behind.
The two of them laugh together as he whispers genuinely in her ear,
“I promise to make you happy. You won’t regret it.”
He immediately drags her off to Loveland’s Amusement Park, where they spend the whole day together.
Rides, snacks, games, you name it, they did it all.
Kiro naturally spoils MC without putting much thought to it.
It’s like a reflex for him. It’s just who he is as a person. Always wants to share the happiness in the world with the people he cares about.
As for how anxious he is after hearing the news about being MC’s first love, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.
Almost 100% of the time he has a smile on his face and even convinces himself that he’s not worried about it.
But he is.
It only hits him when he thinks about another man taking MC away from him after seeing her talking with another guy.
MC will catch him without his carefree smile at times and eventually confronts him about it.
He shows her a wide smile and says there’s nothing to worry about.
L I E S. BABIE LEMME HOLD YOU I PROMISE YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY.
After a few attempts of trying to get Kiro to open up about it, he gives in and says he’s worried he’s not good enough for her HAHAHHA, GOOD ONE KIRO
MC, however, turns it around on him
MC: I’m afraid IM the one who isn’t good enough for you.
They both smile and embrace each other, knowing they’ll get through any little concerns like this.
Gavin:
He knows.
We’re talking about the boy who has been in love with MC since high school; Who has protected her behind the scenes ever since he laid eyes on her.
He would know if she had been in a previous or current relationship.
It only comes as a shock when she says she’s never been interested in anyone else romantically before. Lies. Have you seen the other suitors, MC. In a world where guys are that hot, you must’ve had at least 1 crush, c’mon sis.
Gavin respected her personal boundaries and never looked into her personal affairs so he had very little knowledge of her views on other guys.
He gets a little bit nervous, since he believes her standards must be high if she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before.
Does the full on soldier oath, bend the knee cliche which includes “I promise to always protect you” and “Nobody will ever be good enough for you”
Mc: Gavin no...
Gavin: NOBODY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
Spoiler alert: You are waayyyyy too good for me, Gavin.
He doesn’t have too much anxiety over the thought of being MC’s first love though since he’s very good at staying true to himself and knows MC is one to admire that about others.
Gavin is a quiet guy in general. He’s more of an observer and watches MC to take note of what she enjoys.
When he sees her eyes shine bright after seeing a delicious dessert cafe, he offers to take her. He makes sure to express how he also wants to go since he knows she won’t accept unless he is interested as well.
Boy literally has no interests the moment he’s with MC. He is essentially that vine
Doesn’t even wait until the question is over and just “Absolutely. Let’s do it”
MC: But I haven’t even said anything yet...
He isn’t much different from how he is now. Has around the same amount of anxiety just from being in MCs presence.
Boy just wants to PROTECC and is always panicking on the inside but tries to remain calm.
He is very good at calming his anxiety though since he’s had so long to understand what MC values and knows she just loves people for themselves.
That’s all he needs.
Lucien:
His eyes widen slightly at MCs confession.
It’s nothing too mind blowing for him since he knows how refined MC is and how dedicated she is to her work.
It’s still surprising to him that nobody has tried to sweep her off her feet yet.
With how kind MC is, it would be hard for her to refuse a date with a gentleman.
Lucien gently presses a kiss to MCs hand upon hearing her confession.
Lucien: I am honored to be given the opportunity TO WOO to take such a beautiful lady out on a date~ AND MORE PLEASE
Lucien is the definition of a gentleman shhhh we aren’t speaking of current chapters in the main route Lucien. Cover your eyes. Pretend you do not see.
With little to no anxiety showing on his face after the reveal that he is MCs first love, he insists on taking her out to a nice restaurant the most classy and romantic 5 star restaurant Loveland City has to offer as a way to thank her for dealing with his bs (both his bullshit and black swan hahaha I’m so funny oml) being given the opportunity to treat her as a beautiful young lady should be treated.
He’s also more on the less anxious side of being MCs first love.
Lucien is a traditional man and does stuff by the book.
Because of this, he respects and likes the idea of being MCs first love.
He doesn’t go over the top yet isn’t cliche with dates and little actions.
He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Though he may struggle with being openly honest about his own thoughts and feelings, he tries his best to express himself for MC. a lot of the time he just assumes talking to her about his personal affairs would bring her down.
This, however, gets better overtime as they continue to date.
They spend a lovely evening at dinner together and take a midnight stroll through the city oh god city stroll PTSD
He gently wraps his jacket around her bare shoulders with a soft smile as he thanks her once again for believing in him believing he is worthy of her
Bonus:
Shaw:
Shaw, smirking: Is that so?
Oohhhhh you know what that smirk does to me. DOWN BOY D O W N.
He’s surprised but his reaction is very mutual.
His internal thoughts are more on the line of “Hmm I’m her first boyfriend, aye?” and “OYA OYA”
He very likely most definitely places his hand on the wall beside her head and leans in closely to get a reaction from her as he growls,
Shaw: So that means you really like me, yeah? I’m making this way too hot gdi. Shaw stans please enjoy your food
MC looks up to see that same playful smirk resting on his face.
highkey don’t know how to respond because Im just “ok think of 3 things she would probably say and go from there” while my brain just computer error sound
MC: and what about yourself? I’m sure there are tons of girls throwing themselves at you yet you choose me.
He pulls away and places his hands in his pockets with a chuckle.
Shaw: I’ve had my fair share before.
iVe HaD mY fAiR sHarE bEfoRe MY ASS
I’m convinced he’s had one time things with girls purely for information or he isn’t the least bit interested in relationships because he thrives on stimulation and entertainment and nOboDy iS gOoD eNouGh plus he literally asks what people do on dates when taking mc out in his first date in game SO
Either way, this is a LIE. The man can’t relationship for the life of him so he has no RIGHTS to tease her.
Just let him believe or you can try to tease him about it in hopes of getting a little pouty face out of him.
Honestly, their first date would just be the first date we got in the game and nobody can convince me otherwise.
Shaw is a wild child and doesn’t care for romantic dates. at least that’s what he wants you to think
A little insight on his character: He’s very blunt and easily pushes people away all the while keeping them close enough to gather intel. He doesn’t get emotionally attached to anyone and makes sure it’s mutual on both ends. Personal relationships only drag him down, especially in his line of work. He prioritizes other things before relationships which makes him so damn FRUSTRATING BUT I SWEAR I WILL CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A WALNUT JUST YOU WATCH ME.
With that being said, after actually being in a relationship with MC for a while and opening up about their personal lives more, Shaw can be very romantic. He may be awkward for a bit at first since he literally doesn’t know what a date is but he gets there eventually.
He’s still full of fun but is also very gentle and makes sure MC is enjoying herself.
I got sidetracked with the actual HC on this one but Shaw stans need food I NEED FOOD
#mlqc#mr. love queen's choice#mr. love#mlqc gavin#mlqc shaw#mlqc kiro#mlqc victor#mlqc lucien#i had to limit myself because i started writing A LOT#i also had the BRILLIANT idea#*not really brilliant*#of Lucien offering to walk MC home after their date#and MC just ‘that’s ok. Youve already done so much for me tonight’#Lucien: Our apartments are right next to each other mc#MC:#*hello darkness my old friend plays in the bg*#she just wanted to be polite and the fucking LOGIC FLEW OVER HER HEAD LIKE#logic? dont know em#ms. walks in front of cars every day#i really enjoyed shaws too just because i love his bitch ass#like being able to meme 24/7 is my dream and that is legit all he’s good for#the S A S S#we love a sassy bitch#and his date we got in the game is all i need to say about their date after mcs reveal#shaw: cool so what IS a date exactly?#mc: youre kidding right?#shaw: well i mean i know it’s for couples but wtf do we do#mc: shopping/dinner/a movie#shaw: *jerry squints* thats boring as hell. lets go do some illegal shit
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hi!!! currently at someones house with a six and four year old so time is very Not available for the asks for all my peeps who live far away and are asleep rn :)) todays themee iss what i like about you all or something that interests me or smthg nice you did for me or whatever just nice feelings :) (to my local frends youll get yours tomorrow morning as usual dw i haven’t forgotten you lovelies!!)
nia!! @herebutnotpresent
hihi!!! do i even need to say it?? YOUR ART!!!! so beautiful! i love it *sosososososo* much!!! annnd i love how you always just have a gif theyre 10/01(especially the emergency gifs i loved them💛💛) ily nia and take care!!!!
bam!!! @lion-hearts136 (ik your user!!)
HELLO bam reminds me of ka-bam but your vibes are Quite the opposite of an explosion! your vibes are like a big pink teddy bear 10/10 !! i Love how much time you put into the discord even tho we’re All just dumbasses(affectionate except for me we hate that bitch skdbd) but yeah!!! ily and take care <3
madam!!! @madam-fuck-yeah
HELLO!!! i love how easygoing you are!!! and communicating with me??? woah. thats so cool!!! i and right now thinking ‘i will text madam after i finish all of these’ so if i end up Not doing that i promise its not bc i hate you its bc i Got Distracted sdbdk apologies! ily and take care 💛💛💛
lyosha!! @lyoshaland
my favorite orange eyed yoshi 🥰🥰🥰 i Love literally everything??? about you??? youre sucha. nice person to talk with your brain’s so wack and that mixed with my brain is just a Lot of fun mwah ilysm lyosha im giving you internet hugs!! i love howw kind you are and just !!!! talking to you (also you add the best things in my pinterest board tysm 💛💛💛💛)
nana! @nanaccused
hi nanaaa!!!! my waif 🥰🥰 my tiny tol waif!!!!!! ilysm youre so amazing i love how easy you are to vibe with (does this basically mean i just love who you are as a person?? maybe??? idk how this works man) but yeah!!!! keep being you and keep texting me dkdbsj hahaha i love you???? so much???? just!!!!! ahhh youre so nice to me!!!! like you say the sweetest things and im left shellshocked just like- you said that to me?? i hope you slept well and!! i hope today is better for you and that school goes well 💛💛💛
ei!!! @the-what
(i just realized how all of these are paragraphs skdhdk i didnt even Realize hahaha) EI!!!!! *smooch* youre too kind to me!! i think i currently have six? songs (only three more >:)) anyways!!! Obviously i love your art so i think i shall Focus on smthg else! i Love how kind you are you rlly be like ‘fuck you dumb bitch’ but actually just be like ‘skdhdj im so sorry for making you feel guilty,,,’ dvsks i just get a Whiplash (soeaking of that your music taste?? amazes me??? i love it sm just how diverse you are for a pasty white bitch!!!) (strike through is really fun skdbdk) anyways i think even thought that was like (1) thing i said its enough cuz this is getting Long skbdjs apologies! i love you ei and take careee 💚💚💚💚💚💚 (yikes this was Long tm anyways-)
hella!!!! @hella1975 (you get the whole rainbow!)
ugh this bitch 🙄 jkjk ily dont worry 💛💛 what do i cherish most about you? so many things!!! your writing, how involved you are with the fandom!!! and just how?? easy you are to talk to????? please the first time when i got in the discord and saw people texting you i was like ‘theyre??? casually texting The author of taob???? w h a t ????’ (little did ik youre just a lil shit skdbjs that i love ofc youre so beautiful mwah) hahaha i was So intimidated by you (am i still intimidated? i honestly have no idea thats some deep thinking shit) but!!! now ik youre literally just vibing *insert froge emote here* thats literally you just add a british accent and there you have it anyways!!! (have i been too mean? i hope not ily hella please dont think i actually hate you bc i promise i dont 💛) MWAH ily hella and take care!! (maybe the last few are longer bc my brain works more since im home now idk apologies for all the reading im putting you through 💔💔)
EDITING BC TUMBLR NEVER CARRIED THROUGH MY STRIKETHROUGHS THE ADUACITY
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Having your brain taken over by an AU is the best, imo! Please tell us more about how all of the characters know each other? idk if you've mentioned it before, but how did they all meet, do they live on the same street, etc? I kind of imagine that all of the kids roam the neighborhood as a feral pack of friends together (probably cause that's what my friends & I did when we were little haha). (Also would you be OK with me drawing a tiny comic about your AU possibly?)
i agree!! AUs for things i love usually occupy like 90% of my brain, and this time around its this one haha
first lemme answer your last question: YES! ABSOLUTELY! go for it that would make me so happy omg. that goes for anyone: if you ever wanna draw my AUs or characters, you are totally welcome to do so! it makes me really happy when people like my stuff enough to want to draw things for it or inspired by it!! :'D
anyways, yes, the neighborhood itself. putting a cut because its gonna get a little long hahaha
i imagine its basically how you described, they all live in the same neighborhood and cause trouble. i actually like to think that jt and melm lived there first just so i can make the joke of john seeing all these happy families move in over time and be like "this used to be such a nice neighborhood smh"
im gonna try to explain this as coherently as possible because i feel like i can explain this so well out loud but when i try to write it down its very confusing but here we go. so i imagine whenever they move in ("they" being any of the families), theyre already together and have their kid (where applicable. toki and will dont have a kid, for instance, but theyre together). so like. the couples already know each other (their partners) and have a past together but moving to the neighborhood is when they meet everyone else, yknow? so like. for example. magnus and pickles are already together, and when they move to the neighborhood, its their first time meeting nathan and charles.
so as far as everyones pasts with their partners and just general info on what they are/were doing:
- abi and skwis met at a party. abi still works in music production and skwisgaar was doing some modeling at the time in addition to playing some gigs here and there. he ends up taking more of a househusband role after they have helena
- speaking of househusbands, john and melmord. i really love your mention of john being a physical therapist in this AU so i like to think that he and melm met there and eventually fell in love. john still works, melm is a professional househusband and stay-at-home cat dad.
- toki and murderface are college dropouts. well, they say dropouts but they both got expelled after one of their many schemes ended up destroying some school property.........they get by doing random jobs and babysitting lol
- pickles and magnus met while pickles was still in snb. they ran off together after snb dissolved. their marriage may or may not be official (they arent sure how legally binding drunken vegas weddings are), but after jules Happens they decide to settle as best they can. magnus has a podcast and pickles is still living off all that snb cash
- nathan is a bouncer (which is also just my headcanon of what he did during preklok times). hes a single dad to his daughter lucy, and charles is his lawyer and sort of boyfriend. who knows. the joke i have in my head is that trindle is lucys mother but she goes to jail for whatever reason and thats why charles is there in the first place. nathan and charles relationship started out professional but now charles is spending a lot more time at his place.....off the clock.....hmm
as far as the band itself goes?? theyre just fucking around in nathans garage when they get the chance. you know how it is.
the kids all hang out with each other, definitely in that way kids do when you all live in the same neighborhood together. causing mischief. making their own band or something. whatever they feel like doing that day.
its a very slice-of-life ordeal? a pretty mundane AU and thats what i enjoy about it! honestly i imagine it pretty episodic, if that makes sense. just kind of a day-to-day sort of thing, the happenings of these families in this wacky neighborhood.
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mdzs read diary part IV, the end
It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF
dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math
chicken
he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....
IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point
this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE
This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”
ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems
it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to
I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off
doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!
ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.
I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!
I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:
I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.
god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug
HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think
aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please
- CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.
- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS
- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow
- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them
- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME
- I want to Draw
- ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably
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June 20th-June 26th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 20th, 2020 to June 26th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
What is something you’re just not very good at right now writing and/or drawing in general?
Deo101 [Millennium]
mysteries. 100% I can not write mysteries!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ears
Deo101 [Millennium]
the connection between legs and torso. No not hips, I can draw hips fine, but like the movement aspect of it
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Action scenes. Orchestrating fights or big motions on the page... it doesn’t come naturally to me! I have to look at a lot of reference to see how other artists do it. Impact shapes, speed lines, anything to convey movement...
But I am slowly building a vocabulary of... fight shapes? I’m calling them fight shapes, haha
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I feel that
Your feeling I feel deeply
"visual library" is a term that comes to mind
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Composition. I just talked about this earlier today, but.... yup. Composition is my bane.
Mitzi (Trophallaxis)
I'd like to get better at writing in general. I have a lot of trouble verbalizing things I see in my head, and so I gotta rely on images and thumbnails to get any idea across, sometimes. otherwise im a windbag and use 5000 words to say 0-1 things, lmao
carcarchu
I have trouble writing simply. I always want to embellish, add extra details, more characters and make everything more complicated and i worry it ends up making things unnecessarily convoluted
Drawing-wise i hate drawing hands
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
The legit thing I am worse at writing is fucking
Deo101 [Millennium]
omg
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
essays to convince people to hire me
Deo101 [Millennium]
OH OKAY
WAY TO CUT IT OFF
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
YEAH
Mitzi (Trophallaxis)
OH
carcarchu
let her finish deo
Mitzi (Trophallaxis)
comedic timing at its finest
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
omg
I was very confused for a sec(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
but seriously like speaking of filling gaps this is what I'm legit struggling most with right now so any help much appreciated
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
raises hand
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I need to write a personal statement and every time I sit down to edit I want to die
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I volunteer as tribute
writing is basically the only thing I'm really good at
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
It's not the writing I hate
It's the writing about me
carcarchu
is that the thing where you have to write in 3rd person? like those blurb things on people's websites?(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
It just feel so gross whoring out my deeply held passions and struggles for a spot in med school
No I'm talking about college essays lmao sorry for derailing
The blurb things are an interesting topic though!
Have you guys writtent those before and does anyone actually like writing them?
carcarchu
i had to write a blurb about myself for my university's website and yeah it was uncomfy
lemme see if i can find it
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I HATE writing those
because I just start like, "Crona J. is an artist and writer from Chicago......." And I have no idea how to continue
Deo101 [Millennium]
god yeah even just writing a profile or about me is hard enough!!!
I'm always like "deo - 22 - she/her - illustrator - webcomic author - student" and then i leave it
thats it thats all you get
depending on the platform i MIGHT put bi - disabled and thats it!!!!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yeah
half of the stuff I write doesn't even feel relevant to the audience either
who cares that I have been drawing since I was 12 lol?
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Mate I don't even write those. My bio is like "UCSD" "Read my comic"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
hahaha
Deo101 [Millennium]
I also always feel like when I see "ive been drawing since I was 5!" I kinda think like... well everyone has been -_- like this doesnt tell me anything, how long have you been an aspiring pro, how long have you been studying art...? that tells me more
so I never put that kind of stuff in my biod either
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yeah, and also, I didn't go to prestigious school, so I don't even include my college
and I only have one comic project so far, just under a chapter
so what do I write?
Not that important an issue, but irksome nonetheless
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I don't include my school because it's prestigious, I include it because it's not an art college
Deo101 [Millennium]
owch
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I want fellow stem-y yet artsy people from my school to recognize me as one of them(edited)
DEO stop interupptung me at the worst points!!
Deo101 [Millennium]
i love jumping to conclusions. so no.
Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)
If it's a bio where I can talk about the comics, I try to spotlight a few tropes/genres that'll catch the eye of potential readers. Not a full-fledged summary, just a quick hit of If You Like These Words, You'll Probably Like Reading It. ("Fantasy, comedy, shapeshifters, PTSD, time travel, cats")
Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)
And if it's gonna be personal, same deal with bits of personal info -- not trying to be a Comprehensive Biography, just pulling a few details that are relatable connection points
The problem with "I've always wanted to be a writer/artist/cartoonist" isn't just how generic it is, the problem is also the vibe of "here's my thing, your role in this is to support me"
Whereas if you say something like "I like drawing cute girls and writing fantasy," the response can be "oh hey, I like seeing cute girls and reading fantasy, tell me more!"
Or if you go with "Sailor Moon fan, will put extra cheese on everything," people can go "cool, that's relatable, we can like Sailor Moon and cheese together." It gets at your shared investment in a fun thing, it's not about expecting them to be personally invested in you
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I think perhaps the most fundamental thing is "you can't please everyone." I've never liked the 'random food related weird tidbit tacked on' thing because it feels too try-hardish to me, but I understand for other people, it's not a matter of trying too hard and is genuinely how they just talk.
Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)
Oh definitely, you hold out for a bio that connects with everyone and you'll never get it done
AntiBunny
Personally I'm not great at drawing cars. It's why all my cars early on in the comic were side view only, and old blocky looking things. It was all I could do. I've been getting better by using references.
Every so often I buy a little hotweels or matchbox car when I'm buying groceries. I aim for realistic ones based on real vehicles, especially utility vehicles like ice cream trucks, ambulances, fire trucks, and whatnot you'd see every day in a city. I keep a little box of them on my desk, so if the scene calls for a car to be visible, I have a reference that can help me get all the curves and angles right.
Sure beats drawing from memory, but also practice time in the sketchbook with them is a necessity.
Now crowd scenes are beginning to be my bane. Not because they're hard to draw, just because they're time consuming.
Suddenly I realize why old episodes of Sailor Moon has cities with people free sidewalks and empty streets.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
That's a great idea, gathering the model cars! I should do that for a future comic.
kayotics
I also struggle with cars so, uh, my comic takes place in fantasy 1700-1800s
But also horses are bad too
Cars and horses! They suck
Deo101 [Millennium]
do what I did and make up an easier animal to draw than a horse ;)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Vehicles in general. Should just put everyone on roller blades and be done with it
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'd lov that tbh
kayotics
I’ve considered making something other than horses......
Deo101 [Millennium]
I highly encourage it, the people love it and also so does my brain
kayotics
Or else lean into them being ugly
Deo101 [Millennium]
heres the trick about horses though they look really weird and as small as you make their legs, when you think "this is way too thin..." youre wrong and their ankles are probably smaller than that
kayotics
The thing that gets me is their faces
Deo101 [Millennium]
... mask
kayotics
Hahaha
I should just make deer the normal mode of transport
Deo101 [Millennium]
that would be really cute tbh
kayotics
I love deer and they’re cute
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Just exaggerate them to the point where it looks like a style choice
Your people already have unrealistic proportions
Why not the horses too
kayotics
That’s how I draw buildings tbh because I hate buildings
Deo101 [Millennium]
I also gave horses dog mouths, maybe do something like that? someone can be like "horses dont look like that?" and as long as youre consistent you can say "they do in this world!!!"
kayotics
Oh god no that’s like a devil creature
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah they look horrible but its fun
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I legit remember saying that to you deo lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
ive had dog horse for years you didnt give me this
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Not the they look horrible part
kayotics
I’ve already got beasts, I don’t need horses to look WORSE than they did
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Bwah I remember
Time to archive dig(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
I love dog horse
kayotics
Honestly it’s good but they scare me
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah... maybe instead give them cat mouths
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
https://discordapp.com/channels/472908933045026827/634081658018070549/688589449562423422
wait omg this is the message that led to your first dm to me lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
is it??? omg i think it is... historical moment
dog horse brings us together
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Another point to convince kay to draw uncanny animals!
Deo101 [Millennium]
what I do to make birds fun to draw is making them sparkly
maybe try that
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
god you're gonna ruin kay's carefully crafted aesthetic
is this your competitiveness showing its face again(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
they can make it work! why do you doubt their abilities
make this the main mode of transport
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ah is that how it works in that case i have 10 shitty indie game ideas
make them pls
Deo101 [Millennium]
implying my ideas are shitty??? rude!
kayotics
I have an aesthetic?
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Or if you want to be very efficient, everyone in universe can teleport
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
lmao you have an excellent aesthetic
crona
i do that already
kayotics
Crona.... that’s my comic already!! Haha
Deo101 [Millennium]
kay does also have teleporting to be clear
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
don't underestimate my laziness!
Deo101 [Millennium]
LMAO
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
See
It must be great advice
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
oh crap you're right kay also does have teleporting
and unrealistic beasts, to be fair
kayotics
Sometimes on the same page
That’s the eyes I draw on the beasts
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Or be even lazier, and make it so that horses and beasts either don't exist or haven't been domesticated in that region. Everyone walks. Their feet hurt, but their calves are glorious.
Deo101 [Millennium]
you get it
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
wait crona and deo also have comics where teleportation could exist
will you join us?
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
lol, yup
Deo101 [Millennium]
nope
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
(nah, I've already drawn horses. They're not so bad if you stare at photos)
sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)
drawing horses is fun!!
[multiple people are typing]
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
And there will also be hella walking, because the leg game must be strong, otherwise I'm not doing my job
Deo101 [Millennium]
ive decided that millennium is like really in the future but things like time travel, teleportation, warp speed... nope! You can go really fast in a spaceship but like nothin crazy
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
man these planets real close together then
or maybe people just live a really long time ...?
Deo101 [Millennium]
I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later
dont worry about it
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
nice
Deo101 [Millennium]
its not realistic, but its consistent
🌈ERROR404 🌈
ahhhh horses are really nice to draw imo, if i can get it right lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
I like drawing horses a lot I just never do it tbh
🌈ERROR404 🌈
something needs to fuel my addiction to cowboy culture
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Consistency is key tbh
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I just do my version of teleporting which is "wow it'll take a week to get there" and then its a week later
when my whole comic takes place in like a week lmao
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
if you decide that gravity doesn't exist in your world, as log as you're consistent with it, you're golden
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
in the unlikely event i get tired of drawing my comic i can adopt deo's strat "wow it'll take a week to get to the ending"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
My comic takes place in about a year (not counting flashbacks which span... uh... a very long time)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
"man sure seems like this conflict will take approximately a week to be resolved" "one week later"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
hahaha
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
"sure did get resolved"
the end
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
convenient
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i wonder if anyone's done that
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
One Korean series I followed for years did it
and everyone was pissed, as you can imagine
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
better than cancellation?
Deo101 [Millennium]
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
what a way to go
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I'd honestly have preferred cancellation/ abandonment
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Just have a fan finish it for you at that rate lmao
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
OH that's a good discussion topic. If you got tired of your comic, or life got in the the way of you working on it anymore, how would you end it as quickly as possible?
Deo101 [Millennium]
maybe rephrase that a little
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I would toss it at my little sis, and she would do it for me, no joke
Deo101 [Millennium]
My little sister also would probably take over it for me
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
let's move to general?
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
eyyy!
Deo101 [Millennium]
but also I could just be like "They got an email that john died of old age its over now"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
MVP sisters!
lol
an email
what a way to end it
eliushi [Keyspace]
For me it’s panels. Past me thought that the four panel structure would make things easy. Nope. It’s limiting how I want to tell the story so... I’m trying to branch out now and looking for other inspirations for panel and layout
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Just change the shape of your panels. It forces you to be creative.
eliushi [Keyspace]
True true! I have those in upcoming updates
But my heart swoons for the page spreads
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
oh yes
They are so gorgeous, but difficult to plan
eliushi [Keyspace]
Initially I was planning on storyboards but now I’m more comfortable with comics I think I’ll be aiming for traditional layouts
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, storyboards are an entirely different beast
Desnik
I'm currently working on clearly portraying character motivation
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I think for me I don't draw animals often and rip have to draw a few for the upcoming pages so I'm just doing my best at this point lol
AntiBunny
Panel arrangement is the heart of comics as an art form. It takes practice, and study to learn how the eye flows from one thing to the next.
And once you have a thorough understanding of the rules you can learn how to carefully break them to produce something truly eye catching.
If I had to say the simplest rule to understanding flow is, if you need arrows to tell you which direction to read, then you're doing something wrong.
DanitheCarutor
This is candy for my self-deprecating mentality. Lol Honestly though. I'm not the best at writing in general, I don't like doing it physically, avoiding it at all cost (outside of dialogue and poorly done bullet points on scrap paper.) so I don't really know if/think I'm particularly good at it. I remember the last time I tried to physically write something was back in high school, I still have it saved on my computer, but it was something else. Too many dialogue scenes and overly detailed descriptions of things and characters. I only made it a little ways before giving up with "You know, this will be easier to just show than describe.". Story and character wise for my current comic, I'm not sure how well it's turning out or how good it will be in the end, my brain defaults my work to mediocre so I tend to be totally blind to what I'm doing right. I know my characters aren't the best for sure since they're all fleshy flaw bags with too many flaws, and I know I could have presented certain scene changes and such better, but that's all I can think of objectively. The art portion is something I at least know I can execute decently, but my color composition is the worst. I'm aware that I need to improve it, and I know what needs to be done, but it's something I can't really accomplish with my comic since I just want to focus on finishing pages. I'll have to make time to draw up some throw-away illustrations to experiment with, which I hope to have a little bit of now that I'm not on a regular update schedule. Also I can't draw vehicles and architecture for the life of me, I've referenced and studied but I still can't wrap my head around it. ALSO extreme angles and perspectives are still things I need work on, like 4-point circular perspective, ground level shots and over the head shots.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
There's a lot of things I want to improve, but something I haven't seen mentioned yet: I would like to get better at deciphering feedback, how to glean useful things from multiple conflicting feedback.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Ooh that's a good one keii
I haven't really had to deal with that before though because all the negative feedback I've gotten is pretty consistent
Can I ask what the conflicting feedback you got is?
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Oh gosh, I legit spent a long, long moment trying to figure out where to even start
eliushi [Keyspace]
I really like this approach to feedback
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yo Eli this is so good
eliushi [Keyspace]
Mary robinette is goals
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
this is spectacular already
wow
eliushi [Keyspace]
Pretty sure a wiser writer passed this onto me I have since used it a lot and it works for me
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
This is so so good Perfectly said about crits in creative fields
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
One example I can think of isn't actually something that was criticized, but showed up a lot in various ways: "this is (supposed to be) an exciting adventure romp centering Danbi" vs "this is an emotional journey story centering Ethan" ... Not a criticism, but two very conflicting interpretations. People who have one interpretation are shocked and confused when I tell them about the other one.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Holy crap, Eli... This is one for the folder of absolute knowledge
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
woah, excellent advice
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
And yeah, that is a really good one. Symptoms are extremely useful, and diagnoses tend to be more useful in a conversation rather than a one-way "here is my diagnosis" thing
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I haven't heard it said before but the explaining eliminating a clean reaction rings so true to me
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Ahhh, this is literally the one document I have needed my entire life
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
also the helping someone tell the story they want
also the stream of consiousness, MAn
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I think I'll save that for my future high schoolers lol
some of the stuff said there is what I've noticed in the last few years critquing in academic settings but its nice to kno!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
People have given me stream of consciousness reactions before and they were the most helpful. Almost all the changes in the story from others' reactions were from stream of consciousness reactions, not intentional critiques
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, one of the most helpful "critique" I ever got was also completely unintentional
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
One of the most useful tips in this guide for me in particular is the "As a writer don't:" section. I struggle with it a lot.
On the note of things we are bad at in the comic-making process, I am very bad at taking critiques!(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
tbh for a long time, my biggest struggling point that's not in the "as a writer don't:" is "don't throw yourself into the void of self-hate." I'm better now, but boy, when it was bad, it was bad.
But perhaps that kinda thing better fits into "as a person don't:"
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I am pretty good at taking critiques, but pretty bad at giving critiques! Right now the point I'm at is I'm just gonna not give critiques until I'm more mature
But then after I decided that an amateur writer friend told me his story idea that I not only disliked but was sort of offended by
and I really wanted to tell him but I didn't know how to do it nicely...
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
ooof
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
oh no
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yeah, that's really tough
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
rip I tend to do kinda a sandwich method. I had to say some rough things few days ago on a practice pitch run and I pretty much said
Deo101 [Millennium]
Uh oh
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
"Your idea is developing for sure, but I think you need to reconsider some of the world building choices you done. Have you thought of researching such and such."
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
That's basically what I said
But I think I had to say "research ffs" in increasing intensity like 3 times lol
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Oh, nice, the "let's give them compliments too so that they know I'm not just being mean" method
It's a good method tbh
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Rip it's not that like
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Deo might have something to say about this but it was about schizophrenics in a mental institution being portrayed in a real weird way by someone who didn't know anything about it(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Ooof
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ah man
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
ewww
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'll always stand by "asking people who've lived what you're writing about is the best form of research and can't be replaced"
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Yeah I would said the to the person consider researching more on the topic and interview folks who have schizophrenia
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Dude I brought you up lmao
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
and also like "is there a reason you want to depict it this way?"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
oooh
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I know I'm agreeing idk... Idk what else I'd have to say on the topic
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
That's a very good question to ask someone
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
and depending on their responses, I would just put my two scents in there that rip
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I always ask "what are your goals?" Before I ask anything else
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
critiques are kinda my strong point sinc eLMAO I do em all the time in my class
and teaching so yeah LOL
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Deo I mean I brought you up to this guy like saying "my friend messaged people online and they were super willing to talk to her you could do that"
Deo101 [Millennium]
OHHHHH gotcha
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I try my best to figure out what they want out of it and just deliever with some handful of suggestions
but I won't sugarcoat it unless you're a high school student or younger lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I'm often told I'm a lil too harsh but like idk
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I wouldn't say sugar coating it per say... More just telling them what their strengths are too, so that they have an idea of where they're at
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
telling someone their strengths is just as useful as telling them their flaws
that way they can highlight them
like just because you story has no flaws doesn't mean it's good right?
gotta have stuff that stands out in a good way as well
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Someone once phrased it as "Let's list everything that's wrong here, and find out how we can fix them" vs "How do we take this to the next level?" and that really resonated with me. It's not about sugarcoating; it's more about helping them get to the next level in the direction they wanna go.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
THIS
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I try to point out things that are going well, and I usually try to only point at things that ppl can work on immediately
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I should phrase my statement more clearly. But yeah Kei that's what I usually look for when critiquing
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
There's often no need to tell them "your writing is only at level 3, and that's bad because the max level is 99." Just tell them how to get to level 4.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I dont' see it like its something bad but something that is challenging to them at the time
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Unless they have extremely unrealistic expectations or whatever that are standing in their own way
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
just have to figure out how to get out of the hump
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Yep. I see this phenomenon in animation a lot. A good animation director will help you boost your existing work to something stronger, but still yours. A bad one will tell you to do it their way, and chide you for doing it ‘wrong.’
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
rip I know a person like that and lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yessssss
That's why I always ask "what are your goals" to start
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yup
🌈ERROR404 🌈
I totally agree!!!! A LOT of the most important bits of great criticism is understanding exactly where the original creator was intending to go, and formatting your statements around helping them achieve that!!!!!!!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Critiques are impossible if you don't know what the person is trying to achieve
🌈ERROR404 🌈
Just stating things that you would change if you were making it may seem useful and relevant to you the critic, but unless the creator is headed the exact same direction as you, they have just as much reason to invalidate the entire statement as they do to nit pick out the things they care to agree with
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Sometimes a prospective critic is simply too far removed from the target audience of the work, like on a fundamental level, and it makes it impossible to give them useful feedback. I think it's important to acknowledge that this can happen. It happens to me a lot and I just decline to give crits when it does.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, like don't ask me to critique a comic about sports lmao
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I agree on that notion, esepcially when seeing professional aritsts giving crits to folks starting out but it doesn't go as er ideal as they thought it would be
Deo101 [Millennium]
That's why I usually only seek out criticsm (for more than just general direction/advice) from people who's work I like
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I remember reading advice on getting beta readers, and it’s really REALLY important that they’re excited for your stuff. They want to make it better. They care. They can give critique, but they absolutely must be jazzed about your subject matter in some way, or else it’ll be a slog for everyone.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
for me, I have my peers who I contact daily and we give each other advice, tips
despite having er difference interests in fields, but we experienced a lot in our program lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yes... (Speaking of if anyone wanted to beta read my next comic uhhhh let me know id love to have u)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
very good point claire
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
100 percent agree Get people who are excited and know your vision
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I have a small group of writer friends who know all my goals and a lot of my stuff? So they make a very good little critique circle, and we all help eachother
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I'm always ready to beta read if it's a concept I enjoy
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
like people who critique comics they hate. I'm like, damn, tough work but also ?? why
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
(Be careful about people who are excited about what they think is your vision.............)
Deo101 [Millennium]
Fish is this a callout for me
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
slightly?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ahsjfkdjdkskdjdjdj
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Keii I experienced the oppisisite like rip
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
it's just mystifying to me, I don't think it's wrong or anything
Deo101 [Millennium]
Also crona I'll send u when I'm at my comp
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
sure
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
What do you mean Tuyetnhi?
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Ohh that would be oof to deal with Kei
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I had to let a person down to reality bc I know they're excited about their idea but uhhhh
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
(Is it the fish romance?)
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
it wasn't engaging to me
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yes that one qjdjfkskdkk
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
nor my illustration friends
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I don’t have beta readers but I think that’s how it all goes lol
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
and we were like
"AAAAAAA"
Deo101 [Millennium]
Oh that's awkward
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Ooooooohhhhhhh... oof
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I have a couple friends I send pages to sometimes but they're always really positive about it
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
It was a rough critique
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Having creative friend circles is so essential for growth and screaming at eachothers works for motivation too
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yessss
Also just the ability to talk about your process without having to explain yourself
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
agreed lol
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I occasionally tap my fiance's shoulder and shove my sketches in his face with zero context, just to make sure he can figure out what's going on without me explaining. Super helpful
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I feel like I have a couple friends where, when I read their stuff, I know things that would amp their work up tenfold. But until they ask me... I’m screaming inside lol
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
my friend always makes me feel like i'm a better writer than i am because she thinks so much like me she gets everything i write perfectly lol. But then I post and the comments are like "wtf i'm confused"(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
Yeah feedback is most effective when both sides are open and invested
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Claire Senpai Wants To Help
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
also same crona(edited)
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
It’s not bad, I just go I THINK I CAN HELP YOU MAKE IT AWESOMER AHHHHHH
eliushi [Keyspace]
Claire senpaiiii
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
But until then I remain still and supportive
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
why don't you ask them "can i suggest things?"
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I try and keep my mouth shut
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
or "do you want suggestions?"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
lol
eliushi [Keyspace]
I usually say what I like about it first and then. Are you looking for feedback?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Tbh hearing "can I suggest things?" Usually comes off kinda like "I see stuff wrong with this :)" which can hurt a little even then
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
YEeeeah
🌈ERROR404 🌈
At least for my comic, i have sent bits and pieces for critique from creators i am friends with , but i'm really hesitant promoting myself because I don't feel like I'm not at a place to even get a critique i'll be able to make anything of. O(--( i really don't know what I'd do if someone tried to seriously analyze my plot and break down the story right now
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
It's really hard, because a lot of people (myself included) get scared when someone else asks, "Do you need help?"
Deo101 [Millennium]
I usually trust ppl to say whether they're looking for feedback
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Its always so tricky to gague the reactions of that. Some people handle that better than others So i only offer when they open up
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Based on how people can get about even the offer of critique, yeah, I tend not to say anything. That’s their baby. If they want to open that door, then I’ll poke my head in
eliushi [Keyspace]
True too. I’m already in forums where feedback is wanted so I’m already in selection bias
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, I like to only offer crits if someone is asking for it for that reason
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
for the record i'm always open to critiques
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
kinda mutal agreement on don't chime in unless asked lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, at least in my groups we send things like "hey this and this are bothering me? Can you help?" And other than that it's just support
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, that's a good idea
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
for both parties. For me, If it's something that I need thoughts I ask but otherwise, lmao my social circles ask me for help for their art stuff
Deo101 [Millennium]
We never agreed on that btw it's just kinda how it goes
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
That's a nice group way to handle that AND make the space more breathable for others who are more nervous about crit work
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
exactly
eliushi [Keyspace]
There’s a time and place for everything and feedback is no different
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah! Like here we have seperate chats for help and sharing
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yuss
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
When someone asks me if I'm open to suggestions, my reaction is usually "nOOoooOo..." but not always. I think it helps a ton if there's an existing rapport, like if I already know this person gets, REALLY gets, my work.
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
And that's okay Keii!
eliushi [Keyspace]
Yeah I’m super thankful for my betas for that
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yee same
eliushi [Keyspace]
It’s very rewarding when people are also invested in your work to make it better within your means and style
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Honestly u gotta do whats best for u and ur mindset in the end.
Deo101 [Millennium]
It also is a little but awkward to say "no I'm not open to suggestions' cause it feels like you're saying "I don't care to improve" when in reality it's more like "no... I'm happy with this and I don't want it to be soured"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I love the fact that if I post in #creator_art_share, nobody will critique me unless I ask. And if I post in #art_help, I can get that help. So incredibly nice
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yes! Thats very respectful
eliushi [Keyspace]
So key
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Omg Deo.....such a mood LOL
Deo101 [Millennium]
I always feel so bad saying no thanks but it's like it looked good I thought
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
omg, I felt that in my soul
We beat ourselves up enough as it is
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Sometimes i know my work can be farty but... I dont also want perfection in every facet of my pieces too and thats okay! Some are learning pieces, others more indulgent
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah!
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I think I'd be very hesitant to accept ideas that will utterly break my core plot... unless someone comes out and outright tells me something about it is offensive or wrong or otherwise bad. But critique on the connective tissue between the bones, so to speak, heck yes. I've gotten some much better ideas from that.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
e.e even if i post in art share i would be honored to receive a critique from any of you
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Oh, if someone comes to me with suggestions that are that incompatible with my vision, I'm getting outta there.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
but i don't wanna post every single thing i do in art help hm
but maybe i should
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I am SO getting outta there.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I did had some suggestions that didn't... really help with my comic most of it are just comments and not pure criticism
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Just post it lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
To signal to the rest of us
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yea your vision is key, and i find that people who crit the work need a basic understanding of it for it to be a True Crit
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Yeah it's probably best to leave crit in the crit section so as not to break that unspoken rule.
good point
i wouldn't want people critiquing me to make others feel like it's okay to do that to everyone
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
A good attitude!!! Y'all are very respectable this is a wonderful topic
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yeee
eliushi [Keyspace]
I think the best feedback is one where it makes your work become more effective within your vision. Sometimes it’s finding the betas who are invested but I also find betas who focus on different crafts also can offer a lot of wisdom. I find it comes down to being open and it’s never a bad thing to ask for clarification
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
[also writes this down for a potential lesson actvity for high schoolers] (edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, a critique is supposed to help the work become a better version of itself, not a better [something else]
Deo101 [Millennium]
Mostly with true beta reading I am looking for "how clear is my work coming off to someone who knows nothing of my lore and backstory etc?"
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I like the idea of having at least one beta reader who's a writer, and at least one who's not. The writer can dissect things a bit more than a 'civilian' could while the civilian can look at surface-level things and react as the audience majority might.
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
multiple beta readers are a blessing lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
Cause with my friends, they already know everything I'm planning, so i worry a lot that they are putting together things that a regular reader wouldn't
So yeah same thing as a "civilian" reader, sort of!
eliushi [Keyspace]
For sure. Within my critique group I have novelists, webcomic creators and artists. Those who read the complete script and those who haven’t. It’s important to have all sides I find
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Dang you people with your luxury of multiple beta readers... I don't even have one (but it's mostly my fault; my scripts are unreadable)
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
omg lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i'm sure you could use many of us as beta readers if you wanted to!
varethane
that surface-level 'first gut reaction' crit can be SO useful
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I change dialogue too frequently for a beta reader to have a fair chance, lol
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I started early with one years ago, but now I have like 5-10ish but they can't help me at the same time lmao
varethane
I agree upthread with when it was said that some of the most helpful crit was given unintentionally lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
same. i asked some people, including deo and crona, for a beta read of a script a while back but then ended up changing most of it lol(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
Most of my betas I found in forums like these! I’m sure a lot of us want to help each other out!
Deo101 [Millennium]
I usually only share stuff once I have at least a solid sketch and dialogue is in
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
so much changes in the thumbnail/layout stage for me. SO MUCH. whole scenes get swapped/cut/extended
I never keep it the same way
Deo101 [Millennium]
I don't like to share scripts cause also I don't usually script much anyways lol
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) As a long-time reader of HoK, I would be more than happy to beta read if you ever wanted it. Just throwing that out there!
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
same Lazuli like
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I'd love to beta read for anyone too
varethane
I prefer sharing sketched pages because my scripts usually change SO much in between being written and going onto the page
like, sometimes they're outright unrecognizable
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
@Deo101 [Millennium] Same. The couple times I really wasn't unsure about a scene, I had to find someone and give them cleaned up thumbnails
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I don't share more than sketched pages with dialogue
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
SUPER cleaned up thumbnails
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
from thumbnail to final, like they aren't the same from before lmao
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Most helpful critique for me was just someone engaging with the story. "Man I love - and -, they're such good friends, but - pisses me the fuck off" and that was my intention, but i realized it was coming on a bit stronger than i liked and changed the next scene dramatically to make a future plot point where the last character needs to be trusted feel more earned(edited)
varethane
(anyone who seriously is down for beta reading, I have 3 finished chapters burning a hole in my buffer hhnnnnggggg)
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah cause also like, 80% of the crit is usually "well this paneling is unclear" kind of stuff too
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
also i don't mind if anyone is asking me to beta read
Deo101 [Millennium]
Which you can't do from a script anyways
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
or (I don't usually do this often but)
I'm also a sensitivity beta reader too
so if you have questions about POC stuff, asian-american, er mixed-asian or mixed-black experiences
I'm willing to help lmao
but i'm just one perspective to the table
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
A lot of comments, not critiques, have influenced scenes I put later too. Things to clarify, expand, emphasize. I take every comment like that as an idea. I love knowing what the readers hope to learn.
eliushi [Keyspace]
I’m in the midst of a 180k plus word count novel beta and alphaing a couple works but once that’s all done, happy to take a look too
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
holy
Deo101 [Millennium]
Wowie
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Getting trustful beta readers i gotta say again is so important bc sometimes when asking for some, u run into betas that are there to just exploit that privilege too (tho rare) And!!!! Be respectful of ur betas on the other side of the spectrum
Deo101 [Millennium]
Exploit how?
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
like to read your work early?
eliushi [Keyspace]
Definitely pick your betas wisely
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Usually just the free ride of Knowing the Story or the opportunity to just Constantly Crit (non helpful) bc of personal reasons
Deo101 [Millennium]
Damn
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I'm imagining having someone sneak in as a beta and reveal they're a rabid toxic fan trying to influence the plot to their liking. As an absolute worst scenario
Deo101 [Millennium]
Spooky
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yea.... There's def ppl out there that would do that THOUGH RARE again. I think that's more of like Competition in the field or spite? But ive heard it happening and its not cool
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
like people just looking for a free ticket to complain about your work?
i can see that
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
Oh yeah, I had folks like that before
after that I'm just like "thank you for your time" and block them after LMAO
Deo101 [Millennium]
That sucks :(
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
hhhhhhh
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yea And u can always tell a sincere crit from a one that comes from a place of malice and ill intent pretty easy.
eliushi [Keyspace]
Exactly
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
oof
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Still!!! A horrible experience
Deo101 [Millennium]
:< yeah
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah.. I've never had anything like that happen, but wow... that's a terrifying notion
eliushi [Keyspace]
You tend to want to know your betas more than just them being a reader too. I like to think my betas are my friends and it’s a two way street where I help them too
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Some betas sign papers of confidentiality to avoid these instances of people running off with ur work too
eliushi [Keyspace]
There are paid betas but that’s business side and yeah Krispy
Deo101 [Millennium]
/stress
eliushi [Keyspace]
I don’t have them for mine
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Its scary bc we're all so small and our work is mainly for free U have to be wary of this
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I could easily see myself getting sucked into a bad situation like that I trust people too easily sometimes
but ugh... ya gotta learn
eliushi [Keyspace]
It’s good to know the risks. That being said, I think the rewards of having a good beta far exceed the bad apples. You have to set good boundaries
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Not that any of yall would do this omgjghg
Deo101 [Millennium]
Same Claire ajdjdnsdjjjdjdjdjddj
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
gonna steal all y'alls IDEAS
eliushi [Keyspace]
It’s also totally valid to say, hey something came up and I can’t beta anymore
Key is communication
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
lmao ya gotta kill me for my ideas
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Isossn Watch out for that Claire lady
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
https://tenor.com/view/laugh-giggle-mutley-dick-dastardly-snicker-gif-5552702
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Omg Eli yesssSSSSS that!!! Is important for both creator and beta to have that communication
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Oh no, my precious ideas!!!
Deo101 [Millennium]
Eh even if u steal my ideas you can never steal my characterizations!
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
just steal everything and make a horrible hodgepodge of all of our webcomics, like some sick frankenstein's monster
Deo101 [Millennium]
I don't think my ideas are the best part of my stories anyways :P
Ahsjdjfjdjfjdjfjdififiididkfkdje Frankensteins webcomic
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
my ideas are relevant to my cultural background so I'm like lmao
eliushi [Keyspace]
I learned from my novel days that ideas are dime and dozen and it’s the execution that counts(edited)
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I would actually love that tbh
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Oh no id read it tho XD
Deo101 [Millennium]
Massive crossover event
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
YES
PLEASE
eliushi [Keyspace]
Super smash bros when
varethane
lmao
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
hahaha
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I really want people going into healthcare to critique my personal statement, but I won't send it to anyone because I've legitimately heard of people stealing others' personal statements and getting both people rejected
Deo101 [Millennium]
Wow
eliushi [Keyspace]
That’s scary and unfortunate
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
ooof
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
it's almost worse than stealing a story idea because you're stealing like
someone's life story??
or their personality??
it's extremely strange to me
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah that's ??????
eliushi [Keyspace]
I would consider having a mentor look over your statement but that’s veering off creator babble territory
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
oh i am doing that and very very thankful to them
Deo101 [Millennium]
Good suggestion and good point
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
After recently seeing a whole comic style/theme completely and obviously lifted from another one... yeah, the things that make your comic yours? They can absolutely be stolen whole-cloth
It's scary
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
oh no
god what even is the fun in that??
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I don't know. I really don't.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
you know what i want to spend years doing? telling a story that's already been told, except worse!
varethane
D:
Deo101 [Millennium]
I've had someone steal designs before
varethane
dpsofasdj I am so curious about these cases now aaahhh
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ppl do steal stuff. But what sucks for them is I'm the one with a brain and I can make new things
eliushi [Keyspace]
I’ve seen similar styles but have not seen a purposeful recreation of another’s style whether as impersonation or plagiarism
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
i just read a webtoon that was "inspired" by an anime with many ideas from anime too
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
It was a case where I always thought the two looked surprisingly similar, but then... yeah, you learn more things and you go AW GOD OKAY
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
this, and offensive stuff, is a case where i think unsolicited critique is 100% okay
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, though then it's the line of "is it offensive just to me? Or overall?"
Though I guess saying "this offended me" isn't horrible or whatever
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i think of the trend of lgbt youtubers making videos making fun of anti-lgbt crap and that's a case where i'm like yeah! pile on!
You have a good point and there are cases where something is almost objectively offensive
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, and then there are other cases where ppl are offended by how I've decided to have no homophobia where it's like "okay sure but I'm not doing anything wrong"
But yeah there are definitely times where it's like "no that's bad for sure and I'm allowed to be critical of and mad about it"
I also think there's a difference between criticizing mass media and criticizing independent media
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Wait What what omg???? Thats???? So backwards
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
well, here's an anti-critique. it offends me when someone says that being lgbt must be hard and sad all the time!
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah! I'd agree with that LOL
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
can I just be happy
as a bi woman
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
"IT'S NOT LIKE MY LIFE THEREFORE IT'S INACCURATE"
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ahdjfjskfkdkckskfksdksk yeah
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
So true tho!!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
God, I hate that argument
Deo101 [Millennium]
Though I do think that its worth it to open yourself up to that kind of critique to potentially reach the people who do need your story
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
Yes def agree
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
True true
If there's a blind spot you're missing, then for sure
Deo101 [Millennium]
Well, I was meaning more like "you can't please everyone, but that shouldn't stop you from trying your best anyways!"
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Ah! also true
Deo101 [Millennium]
Like not necessarily blind spots, but more like. Some people will be mad no matter what sorta thing
Yee
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
so tru
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Yeah for sure. I've tried to cover my bases on certain things in my own work, but I'm sure if it ever gets bigger, someone will be unhappy about something.
I'm not ready for that day, but... maybe it'll come
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah. Like I said I had someone get mad at me for not having homophobia
Where it's like... Okay stop reading then cause this isn't the story for you
Actually my friends replied to then and they did kinda turn around on their thinking, I think, so that was nice!
There's something I'm bad at for the question, is replying to my comments
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oh? :0
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
okay sometimes i've said to my friends "yo weird ass comment, right?" and they've gone and defended me like way extra hard
i'm always grateful but also a little (edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah same. .
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
too mch man
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah it's like Thank you but
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I do have some weird comments but the ones that I just kinda trying to offend me
I don't look at it till after a few months and respond to them calmly lmao
no point for me to just get rilied up for someone trying to get on my nerves but rip that's probably just me and how I deal with that stuff in irl too
I don't let my friends go after bozos lmao
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah for me I just like. Try really hard to be diplomatic, I guess? But it takes a lot of energy
When what I WANT to say is "lol read another comic then" or something but I try to think of a way to be nice
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
yee I understand on that. for me I'm just say it as it is if at's the moment but for more heated comments I address them after a few months lol
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I agree on that but lmao
I did had one angry commenter going agro for few of my pages
and I looked at it and I was like "Oh worm man"
they were just reacting to my characters being shit LMAO
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
OH WORM MAN
very good
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I ignore it tbh. I recently had someone comment "All lives matter" at the end of my comic because I included "Black lives matter" at the end. And I honestly knew i didn't have the mental fortitude to explain to them why that was so rude and missing the point.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
lol my mom is saying that stuff and i'm just like :|
okay mother
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
I guess for writing for me, now thinking about it is that
on the prompt: I don't respond quick and I'm not really active much on interaction but I want to try more
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I haven't gotten any weird randos yet apart from... one legendary one But things are always calmer on your own site far away from Tapas/Webtoons
I really haven't either though! Just a few people saying mildly :| things, no hate or anything. Wt is not always as scary as its reputation
or maybe i'm in the eye of the hurricane idk
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
lol
I have had mostly good experiences too
Deo101 [Millennium]
I've had mostly good too!
I know I complain a lot but really I'm just salty and that's just a few bad things here and there
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
The comment I was thinking about earlier was just an innaccurate interpretation of characters' feelings. They thought some people had a romantic history. I wasn't going to respond but my friend went all "if you actually read the comic you would see th- " and I was thinking omg tone it down a bit
Deo101 [Millennium]
Bajsjdjekdjdkdjd
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
never underestimate the Friend Army
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I had a reader I didn't know defend me in the comments once. The original commenter was complaining about the length of my updates, and the other reader started railing on them. It was powerful lmao. I didn't even need to say anything
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Oh! same
Deo101 [Millennium]
I've had some ppl defend me or explain for me and it's like. Idk a special kind of magic ahahahah
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Oh for sure! It feels magical to know that some of your readers passionately love your work
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Update-length complainers are so cathartic to smack down. Not that I've done it, I just... like seeing it
You're getting a free comic. Made by a human with a life. Chill
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
All my comments are normal where are my weirdos
boogeymadam
someone take some of my weirdos, my comic attracts them
but not really because i accidentally gave claire one of my weirdos and i feel Sooooo bad
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
i feel im still a long way off from getting anyone with my comic
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
weirdos are contagious apparently
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
You don't have to be popular to get a weirdo
Sometimes like... you could have 1 regular commenter and that person is a weirdo
or not even a commenter, you show your work to a RL friend before posting it online, and the friend takes off their mask dramatically, and reveals their True Identity as a professional weirdo
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
for real, i was posting on SJ and had all of like a dozen followers and one guy went through and heavily critiqued a ton of my pages
Like technical stuff like paneling and flow of action?
Also said my female lead looks like a man and my animation was nauseating lol
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
heh well after i do this current update im working on, i'll be scraping how ive been doing updates and following some tutorials i finally found
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I like critique but even so that guy was :|
boogeymadam
omg noooo sorry that happened fish! D: unsolicited critics are some of the worst
DanitheCarutor
I guess that is the one thing I've been lucky with. I actually don't mind unsolicited critique, but I've never gotten any outside of one time someone corrected my character's grammar in the comments. Commentary like that is way more welcome than the occasional anonymous hate comment, and malicious article calling me a fetishist, which is all entertaining in its own way but not as easy to deal with. Now that critique is brought up I'm reminded that I need to work on how I respond to it. Like, I actually get kind of excited when someone takes the time to break down my stuff (even if it totally misses the mark with what I'm trying to accomplish), but I end up responding with a novel and sometimes it's worded in a way that sounds like I'm upset. I need to get better at keeping it short and sweet.
Feather J. Fern
I raise my hand to say I can't draw hands for the life of me still after praticing for a long time. I used all the techiques, tricks, and still my hands are just butts.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
make a universe where people have butts for hands
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
This is a really minor one and thankfully easy to correct after publishing, but: my ESL-ness shows sometimes, especially with prepositions and articles. My English isn't terrible; there's just some occasional "wait did they mean 'on' where they put 'in'..." That's on the surface level. I also can't do that 'just write the dialog and see how the characters bounce off each other' thing in English. I hadn't thought much about that until I started writing a story in Korean, and I was surprised how much easier it was to get flowin' with the dialog. I'm not toooo concerned about this one, as Get Flowin' is just one way of writing a scene. But it is a thing.
Feather J. Fern
Eightfish stop calling me out that I can draw butts better than hands okay(edited)
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
feather have fun drawing the gluteus maximus
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I see nothing wrong here
Moral_Gutpunch
I'm bettign most people here can draw hands better than me.(edited)
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
S’okay, my hand drawing is pretty bad
Feet is...also an issue
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
The best reference is the one attached to you, I always say
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
or make your so pose for you
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yes
That
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
looks back at comic and sees lots of guy characters with slender palms MHMMMM
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Hahaha
Lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ahahha i have the same problem
some guys have thick ass fingers when i look at them closely omg
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, everyone has pretty thin fingers in mine, because I have thin fingers(edited)
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Okay yeah not gonna lie I HAVE made my SO pose for me. Several times.
Oh yeah don’t forget
Guys can have hairy knuckles too
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I have had my SO pose his hands retroactively for me, imitating a panel I did And I was screaming inside LOL
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
this stuff makes me :00
Deo101 [Millennium]
I have hairy knucles and my hands are bigger than my dads
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Ughhhh, that's too much detail for me, Shadow
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Yoslslzlzrhlzxzzkhzhlztututs funnily enough my SO’s hands and mine are of similar length
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
For such a small person, I have really long fingers
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
reminded me of a convo i had with some friends
they sent a reference and said they thought it was unrealistic because of how much the tendons stick out
and i said, no, that's how mine look
and it was interesting seeing the differences
Deo101 [Millennium]
everyone share hands
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I mean, especially since your fingers are stretched, the tendons stick out lol(edited)
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Someone told me I have piano fingers
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
like i always think of my hands as the 'default,' because I see them the most but really there is much variation
deo has nice hands
look elegant
shadows hands look a lot like the rest of her :0
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Whhhhhhhhh
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
tall librarian
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
GJOXJPSLZLJZDXKXYOF
Yeah true XD
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
My nails are super long rn
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Holy shit the manicures
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I did it myself
Deo101 [Millennium]
thank U i have lovely hands that are big as fuck, and I can use as a ruler
because my pinky and thumb can stretch out exactly 10 inches
this cup is 10 inches tall
youre welcome
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I have stubby baby hands as well as double jointed fingers, so I'm very aware my hands aren't "average" looking. Yet if I don't pay attention, I tend to draw hands kind of like mine
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Hahahaha, Deo!!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
wow so useful i should measure my hands
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Me too tbh
Deo101 [Millennium]
I atually suggest it it comes in handy (ha) more than youd think
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i found a joint that measures exactly 1 inch and i use it so much
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah!!!
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Whoooooa
Mine goes 8 inches
Deo101 [Millennium]
my hands are fookin hyuge bro
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Wait
8.5
YEAH YOURS ARE GIANT
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
exactly 8 inches
omg your hands are huge
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Mine stretch out to just under 7.5 inches
Deo101 [Millennium]
in yalls defense I also have ehlers danlos so theyre probably stretching more than yours too
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I have smol hands because I am smol
Deo101 [Millennium]
tiney
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yus
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
surprised shadow managed to find a way to measure in inches haha
Deo101 [Millennium]
she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
8.5 inches
I used a ruler
In cm it’s 21
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
she said it wrong its actually 8.5 cm
hm maybe that's why she thinks hands are hard to draw
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
LMHfhgzmzjKfhl
Deo101 [Millennium]
because she has tiny baby hands and can barely hold the pencil... yes
its all coming together
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
I will slap y’all with my tiny baby doll hands
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i'm learning so much about you all today
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Now you see my pain
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
o h wait do you play music crona?
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Uh... Not really. I've messed around on the piano, and failed at playing the French horn
Deo101 [Millennium]
LMAO
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Playing instruments is hard for smol hands
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
rip
Feather J. Fern
My tiny hands compared to my pen XD
Also I took the picture close up and at an angle so not cone cna make fun of my writsts which are narrower than my computer mouse
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
my wrists are also narrower than my mouse, and my mouse is pretty small
Deo101 [Millennium]
mine's about the same as my mouse
Feather J. Fern
Yeah I got a pretty small mouse too, I been told by people to eat more becuase of my wrists (It's an Asian thing apparently) and I'm like "First of all rude, second of all my health is not any of your concern random lady on the street"
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yup
Tiny wrist solidarity!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Solidarity!
varethane
I don't have especially thin wrists but my hands are lowkey shaped pretty oddly. I only posted a photo of my hand petting a cat to FB and got a lot of comments like 'cute cat but what's with that hand????'
(it did look pretty weird from that angle. Like a noodle with a couple of noodlefingers at the end)
spacerocketbunny
Oh no Vare ;;;;;3;;;;;;;;;
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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Childhood Trauma Rant (Content Warning- desc. of abandonment and just being trans and hurting, age regression ig, idk just sharing my experiences don't really specifically identify with that.)
I've realised through my tastes in fanfics and other things that what I want and fantasize about is indeed my child self wanting to heal all the shit I went through.
As a kid, I had these two issues.
I used to cry, a lot. I didn't understand why, and I didn't want to. You want to know what happened when I cried and couldn't stop crying? I was put in my room to calm down. It took me HOURS. Imagine being 4 years old in a room pacing around trying to stop crying but you just cant. I was FOUR YEARS OLD. and apparently that's literally abuse because children that young aren't capable of self soothing. You wanna know how I interpreted that? As abandonment and so now obviously I feel like every time I cry I feel like I'm being selfish and don't deserve to cry or be around people because I should know how to be better.
second
I was in a lot of emotional pain as a kid, and now seeing that crying was off the table, I talked. and talked. and talked.
You wanna know what adults did? They let me talk and talk and talk, and they didn't listen to a word of what I was saying. They let me go on and on and on like broken record and i felt like no one was listening to me, they literally were like, and i remember this, you're a kid hahaha funny talking child. Very clearly fine. Normal kids def talk this much.
I was crying for help. No kid desperately vys for adult figures attention like that unless they're, uh huh, *drums* desperate. I wanted somebody to notice how clingy i was, set boundaries, and ask me why i was saying all of those things.
So- you wanna know what fanfics I read growing up? HURT COMFORT MOTHERFUCKERS WHERE THEY ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF THE PERSON. and second WHEN THEY LISTEN AND SET BOUNDARIES AND CARE ABOUT THE PERSON.
that shit slaps so hard and it's literally just child me trying to have some peace.
AND HE'S STILL SAD. HE'S NOT HAPPY YET.
I feel like I have to carry around this sad little motherfucker with me every where I go and he gets in the way because he's so fuckin touch starved and im like no we're 16 and our parents suck and we have little to no friends we don't have anyone like that. I am 16 now, and I'm realizing just how young I was before and how I was still literally a child.
It probably doesnt help that everyone called him a girl and I now can't identify with the little girl in pictures. When I think of myself as a child now im a little boy not a girl... and I feel like thats an ego I've always had I just havent felt like ive been allowed to identify with until recently. That hurts.
Meanwhile in class, this stupid ass 5 year old brain is like- nice teacher please rock me to sleep-
And I'm in class dealing with the fact that I'm uncomfortably imagining my teacher in this way when I'm trying to learn about the Protestant reformation. Jesus christ please I just want to learn about Constantine do you know how hard that is when your eyes start unfocusing and your brain starts going all fuzz-
when you come back it's embarrasing af , even when its just you and yourself. Because you're 16 years old in sophomore Humanities and you just realized you've been acting like a child all class. Even if no one else knew, you know, and it feels like an infringement on the version of you now. I could've really been present in the social dynamic, but no I tossed it all out. I felt out of control.
I remember going to school exhausted and exasperated that I couldn't stop being, i dont know, fuzzy. I wished I could be more present somehow, but i just couldnt put my finger on what or how or why.
Whats good now is that I know whats happening, i used to just, float in and out, and that was, dangerous? I dont know, it didn't feel healthy, anyway. I walked all over myself and didn't respect other people's boundaries in the process and I feel bad about that.
Now that i know whats happening I tend to manage myself better but shit. shit shit shit. ive lost so much time to this. Now that im out of my dads house, whatever this has been has gone down significantly, and i think it was living with him that reduced me to a state of maybe when he loved me more. Now I'm out, I want to grow up and be me for me, instead of hanging on to an attempt for validation Ill never get. I need to do things for myself now, its the only way Im truly satisfied.
All of this combined also probably explains why i'm eating disordered. I desperately want to have child body back if i cant have an adult male one- and i want to be taken seriously and cared for because i feel like people dont really care. when I stopped eating suddenly i was important again and I miss that, so much.
anyways. I went from reading tons and tons of gay smut (because i couldn't handle fem stuff I got really dysphoric) to basically searching for any and all "little" fanfics that I could find that were completely void of sexuality and I ended up finding them more emotionally satisfying. that in itself has made me really insecure because it's widely sexualised and that, is, disgusting.
scared of being judged for this ig-
but this is tumblr.
Btw age regression and smut don't mix it's, horrifying... it's intellectual pedophilia.
tl:dr, I was lonely kid, couldnt handle growing up, essentially i feel as though i couldnt emotionally mature, still act like f-ing 5 yo because im sad
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reasons why i hate humanity #1
Looking back on my childhood experiences, I can sort of understand where my..dislike.. of humanity comes from.. so this will be a ‘series’ of sorts focusing on those experiences (why? because im bored and i have nothing better to do).
When I was 14 years old, I entered a toxic friendship with this girl...let’s call her Tiffany. Now Tiffany had a rough childhood with a dominating mother who she was convinced hated her because she wasn’t that great academically blah blah you get the picture. Tiffany claimed to have depression and anxiety. I say ‘claimed’ because she wasn’t ever really properly diagnosed with the disorders, though she definitely had some of the symptoms. Ok so here we have a sad, anxious girl who just wants a friend. Who’s that friend? Me. Alright, no problem there. Oh, but there was a problem.
Problem:
Tiffany would place her needs and wants in higher priority than what I needed; in other words she dominated the friendship. She would call me names, put me down, degrade me, but then when I told her to stop she’d laugh it off and say that “it was just a joke, don’t be so serious!”. Ok, sure. As someone desperately trying to fit in, I started to reciprocate and call her names, put her down and degrade her since, according to her, it was “just a joke”. Haha. She told me to stop and proceeded to tell me, in full detail, how hurtful those words were, and how I should feel ashamed for talking like that to someone with depression and anxiety.
Tiffany would complain on and on and on about her family situation and about how scared and anxious she was at home because of her mother, and so being the good ‘friend’ that I was, I listened. I listened because even as a 14 year old I understood how fucking important it is to listen to other people when they talk. But what about me? What about when I wanted to talk about myself? She would always loop it back to herself.
Example:
Me: You should watch Dragonball Z! It’s really cool and I really like Goh-
Tiffany: WOW your parents are so lenient and wow that must be really nice huh.
Me: Well.. I don’t really like being at home though sinc-
T: HAHAHA I wonder what it’s like to not want to kill yourself.
Me: ..Uh I wouldn’t know eithe-
T: I don’t care about your life!! Your life isn’t as bad as mine so stop complaining!!!
Alright. Sure. I mean, this ‘friendship’ was very similar to my relationship with my mother so I was already used to that sort of treatment. So I kept going along with this.. (i cant call it friendship so im going to call it) thing... and it was okay for a bit. I mean yea, I was exhausted and empty and hollow but anyone would be after dealing with abusive relationships both in and outside home. I held on for so long that she started calling me her best friend. And as someone who didnt have any friends, I suppose she was my closest ‘friend’ too.
But then one day I snapped.
It was 8pm. I was exhausted as fuck on that particular day. She sent me a Skype message saying “Do you want to play Aion?” (Aion is a free MMORPG which we used to play together). Thing is, I dont decline things (blah blah im socially anxious and i feel bad when i decline blah blah) but on this particular day I knew that I had to decline, if only for my own sake. So I sent back “Sorry, too tired. Play tomorrow?”
She messaged me back 2 hours later saying “I’m going to kill myself and it’s your fault. You should’ve played the game with me; I was feeling so sad and you just declined!” (this is paraphrased so yes, i couldve exaggerated the real message but this was what i interpreted from that message. maybe im being overdramatic. but the general gist of it was still that she was going to kill herself because i didnt want to play a game with her)
Now here I am, mentally and physically drained from this toxic relationship with a person who refuses to understand that I am not her fucking emotional punching bag. And I guess my brain acknowledged that because all of a sudden, all the empathy just went woooshh flying out of me.
Fuck empathy. Fuck Tiffany. I want to fucking go to sleep. Fuck off.
But well, I cannot in good conscience ignore a suicide message. So I messaged back and tried to be the classical good friend who listens to your bullshit. Hahahahaha...ha
10 minutes later, she sent me a video call, except her webcam wasnt working which was a bit awkward. So she explained what I would be seeing if the webcam was working. She told me that she was holding a knife to her throat, and she wanted me to see her kill herself since it was all my fault.
Now here’s the fucking thing. ITS NOT OKAY TO BLAME YOUR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ON A FUCKING 14 YR OLD GIRL, MUCH LESS YOUR SUPPOSED ‘BEST FRIEND’ OR REALLY, ANY HUMAN FOR THAT MATTER. THATS NOT OKAY. ITS BEEN 4 YEARS AND I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT AND ITS ONE OF THE MEMORIES MY BRAIN DRAGS UP WHEN IM ASLEEP AND WHEN IM HAVING A BREAKDOWN ITS NOT OKAY.
Its not okay to tell someone that they basically almost committed a murder.
and thats why i hate humanity.
#humanity#fuck#fuck humanity#suicide#its not okay#toxic relationships#toxic friendships#unhealthy friendships#reasons why i hate humanity#please dont blame your suicidal thoughts on others
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All the even numbers!
thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway.
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable.
4 Are you easy to get along with?
not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no.
6 What kind of people are you attracted to?
smart funny ones.
8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier.
10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.
12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
1.awkward by hailey knox
2 beautiful girl by sara barielles
3. plot twist by sigrid
4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen
and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.
14Do you believe in luck and miracles?
yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao
16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.
18Do you still talk to your first crush?
occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.
20Do you like your neighbors?
well the ones i know are pretty cool.
22Where would you like to travel?
narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe.
24Favorite part of your daily routine?
going to bed.
26What do you do when you wake up?
lie there and try to go back to sleep.
28Who are you most comfortable around?
probs my friend rabbit.
30Do you ever want to get married?
one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know.
32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right.
34do you play sports? What sports?
hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me
36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.
38Describe your dream girl/guy?
theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.
40What do you want to do after high school?
travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all. what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to.
42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say.
44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
space.
46What are you paranoid about?
everything
48Have you ever been drunk?
not yet. but sometimes i want to be
50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
blue i think?
52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me
.54 Favourite store?
trader joes or target
56Favourite color?
yellow
58 Last thing you ate?
well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)
60Ever won a competition? For what?
i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once.
62Been arrested? For what?
not yet. but im sure one day i will be.
64tell us the story of your first kiss?
we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.
68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.
70 Twitter or Tumblr?
well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on
72Names of your best friends?
adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine.
74What colour are your towels?
blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one.
76How many pillows do you sleep with?
3...
78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped.
80What colour is your underwear?
rn its grey. but its not the only color i have
82Favourite ice cream flavor?
fuck. ummmmm coffee?
84What colour pants?
rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping.
86Favourite movie?
thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because.
90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either
92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
dory. we are both scatterbrained.
94Last person you talked to today?
adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd.
96Name a person you love?
celestine. (not romantically)
98In a fight with someone?
not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey.
100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
like 4? i know i know i dont have very many.
102Favourite actress?
aubrey plaza.
104Do you tan a lot?
nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow.
106. How are you feeling?
blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit.
108Do you regret anything from your past?
i regret everything ive ever done.
110Do you miss anyone from your past?
well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school
112Ever broken someone’s heart?
i dont think so.
114What should you be doing?
school. but ive given up on that. so.
.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them.
118Who was the last person you cried in front of?
probs my therapist.
120Have you ever been out of your province/state?
yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state.
122Are you listening to music right now?
nope.
124Do you like Chinese food?
americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it.
126Are you afraid of the dark?
yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic.
.128 Is cheating ever okay?
like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher.
130Do you believe in love at first sight?
yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.
132. Are you currently bored?
im always bored.
134 Would you change your name?
last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe.
136Do you like subway?
like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach.
138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
probs my therapist.
140Can you count to one million?
theoretically? yes. but will i? no
142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed.
144Curly or Straight hair?
rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a lil.
146Summer or Winter?
yes. i like both. dont make me choose.
148 Favourite month?
july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav.
150Dark, milk or white chocolate?
milk
152Was today a good day?
no.
154What’s your favourite quote?
in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah.
156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic.
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