#thats all ive been really thinking about

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without- #distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just- #super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i- #read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :( #SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!! #but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little- #break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for- #designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much... #WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags. #new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[key-rk]

THEY ARE SO SIMILAR DYNAMIC AND CHARACTER WISE HEHE

Marbles; lost

#discovered mmhoph and thats all ive been thinking about #also #found family for the win #i feel like im a bit late to this fandom HAHA #its really neat #maomao #mao mao heroes of pure heart #badgerclops #adorabat #darkwing duck #darkwing duck 1991 #drake mallard #launchpad mcquack #gosalyn mallard

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver) #or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

[randomminty]

Yeahlow

#art tag #pokemon #pokespe yellow #pokespe #pokemon special #i wish i had the first ever drawing i did of yellow i think thatd be a fun comparison #i think i do sctually….. shes been w me through so much #when i was 9 i would draw eyelashes onto yellow after the ponytail reveal in gsc but now youll NEVER see me drawing her w eyelashes #i also like pause before i decide what pronouns i should use for her #so i think thats some sort of character development for me #once i bought the last gsc volume onto my school bus and showed it to a friend of mine and she like #pointed to green oak and went why does the boy have eyelashes 😐 #n i was like i dont CARE i need to tell you why red x yellow is canon #more character development from me i dont really ship them anymore. same w blue and green. as a pokespe fan ive changed so much #i need to reread dpp i miss the trio so muuuhc…….. i iwhs they couldve returned int he manga and get why not but. i miss the #is swsh nearly over im not up to date at all. i know the dlcs happening but thats it #i wanna see what the scvi protags will be like. and which ones scarlet and which ones violet #and how they handle to version diffs ooo….. two schools? double dead argen parents? #ARVEN sorry. but yea. exciting #WHAT school will each rival be in what about clavel and the teachers ??!!???!??!!?!??!? anyway #thats enougb rambling for one post. goot bye

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe #hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao #anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)... #i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect. #a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them #it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence #it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people #and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit #i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on #while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning #i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow #like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross #if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life #i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3

[s0fter-sin]

i know it's just bc your character doesn't talk in the og mw trilogy but the way mactavish is completely silent in mw2's final mission with price after being so talkative the entire game is just haunting

he's lost his entire team and not even price being back can cut through his grief

the whole game, he gives orders and comments on things but after losing everyone, after trying to get any kind of reassurance from price just to get a sanctimonious monologue back at him, he doesn't say a word

just shuts down, only caring about the mission, only following orders

all of his growth throughout mw2, the five years he spent becoming a captain and building his own team and the second price calls him “soap” it’s all gone; he regresses back to the sergeant

voiceless. faceless

soap

#guess who read mactavish’s journal again 🤪✌🏻 #a bitch is SAD!! #also thinking about price shutting mactavish down after roach and ghost are killed #mactavish is /screaming/ /begging/ for them to respond #for any sign that theyre still alive #and price just cuts him down ‘theyre dead soap’ #then the way he says he never trusted shepherd as if mactavish made a mistake trusting his superior when he had no reason to suspect him #like hes blaming him for their deaths #bc you know thats how mactavish took it #he didnt think to suspect shepherd #he overlooked his potentially for betrayal #and bc of that he lost his two closest men and the rest of his team #he already stepped aside and let price lead all bc of his horrific self doubt #and this just cements it as the right choice #when all it really does is cement his fate #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #we’re a team. ghost team #talk meta to me #captain mactavish #captain price #john soap mactavish #john price #cod mw2 #09 soap #09 price #cod 09

[marcmorrigan]

@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up

the best thing thats ever been mine

#tgcf #xie lian #feng xin #fenglian #fenglianweek24 #my art #full color #I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long. #this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors #and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this... #that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy #also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o) #idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic #i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!' #and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat' #ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least??? #or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope... #whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of #the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. #did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts #OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’ #nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’ #like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

[mikoran]

how do i tell you guys that i dont believe in flickergate

#byler #im sorry but thats just not how lights work with the upside down #i love the theory but the evidence doesnt really support that #idk its been a hot second since ive looked over the full theory but fucking with the lights in the upside down doesnt fuck with the lights #in 1983 #it fucks with them in real time #i dont think the upside down is necessarily stuck in 1983 either #i think it just gives off the impression of it cuz it like screenshotted what hawkins looked like 1983 #but since all thats there is demogorgons its not like it progressed at all #but thats not something im solid about and wills weird powers have to be factored in and how he was able to update it (see christmas lights #regardless time still like moves in the upside down its not paused things move and shit #and it still exists and time passes along side 1986 #and lights being fucked with in the upside down doesnt suddenly fuck with lights in the past #yknow #i wish it were real but thats not what were shown mannnn #theres always the possibility im wrong since im not like well versed in analyzing shit but the evidence doesnt convince me here #anti mileven

[iridescentis]

ive been trying to have coherent thoughts but i haven't even had a chance to process the dnpcrafts video because my brain has just been consumed by shourtney ive been giggling and kicking my feet for the past 24hrs im officially losing it

#i haven't really been a 'shipper' of anything in a long time #im a very apathetic 'anyone can be cute together' person #so shourtney has just been 'aww sweet dynamic' thats it for me #ive also only been watching smosh for like a year #but nope it is all i have been able to think about since yesterday #i just love seeing people happy!! #i don't care whos with who as long as they're being happy and adorable!! #i also haven't experienced a big fanbase freak out in a while #those are always fun #ive witnessed a few but never really participated in the chaos #im having a great time #smosh #shourtney

[dexter-erotoph]

am i allowed to post my own greloch (the holydemon fankid that was drawn during spookycon) interpretation BC I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE THEM LOL

#i just odnt want it to be like a Heh my design is so much better thing LIKE THATS NOT IT AT ALL #ive just been thinking about them and i really like the concept of them that lives in my head #so ​does anybody know if it’s fine to like make ur own design of them

[oklotea]

I wish I never made eye contact with you.

RAAGHHHHHHH LET'S SEE THIS THING REACH 13 NOTES!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOO THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOU WHO ARE HERE I HOPE Y'ALL ARE HAVING A GOOD EVENING!!!!!!

TROLLS NOIRE AU BY THE AMAZING @artroc-ity !!!!! READ COLD CASE OF MY HEART TODAY!!!!!!!!!

#*siiighhhhh*i want someone to look at me. it doesn't even have to be that look chaz is giving hickory i just want someone to look at me #and think deeply about me for more than 5 seconds #just trhink about meeeeeee #whatever. someone is probably thinking about me right now #i mean a lot to a lot of people and i love all of them #i hope im not just some random tumblr user..... but a memorable random tumblr user.... #okay enough monologing have somr gay yearning #are they going to punch eachother after this? are they gonna make out? will they just continue on in comfortable silence? #thats your choice #IM REALLY FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF AND I LOVE THIS COLORING STYLE!!!!! #ITS STYLISH. ITS MOODY. AND EVEN BETTER ITS CHEAP!!!! #ive also been watching a lot of extremely useful videos about composition & in this specific piece i used all the knowledge ive gathered! #life is so beautiful. my art is wonderful. and im getting better and better #i hope one day i'm able to make commissions for people with traditional art #i'll send the actual sheets of paper #i wanna do that so bad #i need to open an etsy #trolls #chaz trolls #hickory trolls #chaz #hickory #chazcory #chickory #trolls noire au #tea art 🎨 #Spotify #oklo makes a post

[good-beans]

You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:

Amane joins the Kajiyamas

Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room

I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive

And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other

But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag

I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world

Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)

OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O

I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.

I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3

I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."

Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...

I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;

#milgram #amane momose #fuuta kajiyama #i am going to think about this nonstop now 😭✨ #ive literally been thinking of how much i love their sibling relationship but didnt consider them becoming Actual siblings ;---; #my heart... #the way i interpret the family theyd be able to give her a good mix of treating her like an adult and still giving her the 'childish' care #that she missed out on #and that honesty would just be really healthy for her #she learns not to fear punishment because if someone has a problem with her theyll just say it and move on #she is also a very straightforward person so shed communicate well with all of them #and yeah... i never realized how good an older sister would be for her but thats perfect #also i dont think fuuta is that fucked up lol but it sounds like he has no commitment to school/his future #so once he realizes he wants to help amane and be there for her he really buckles down on everything #if anyone can Fix Him amane can asdfsdfs #now im picturing all the adults scrambling to prepare themselves and trying to figure out if they're in a state to take on a new child #the time comes to leave milgram and they plan this whole speech to ask amane who she'd feel most comfortable living with and all this stuff #then they spot her walking away with fuuta while hes actively trying to get her to stop following him 💀💀💀 #ask #rose posts

[deathsweetblossoms]

The way Elriel is singlehandedly turning me back onto Friends to Lovers, back onto deep, quiet, enduring love, back onto emotional intimacy and comfortable silence and having someone you know you can depend on. The trope of two people, unseen by others, but seen by each other. The trope of chosen love over preordained love. Taking your life into your own hands and saying, "This. I want this. If they will have me. As much as they will have me. And even if all this ends up being is the memory of the way they laughed when I gave them a present, or the holding onto a bottle of headache tonic just because they saw me and gave it to me, then that is simply enough."

#what can i say - ive been in an enemies to lovers whirlwind for awhile #i feel like elriel is really the only ship where ive embraced this dynamic specifically and all of you fanfic writers are to thank #for taking the text and just elevating it in such a way to really bring to life how i've seen these characters #at this point they seem so much like a spiritual type of stillness and peacefulness that its making ME feel still and peaceful #ME - a chaotic whirlwind of constant thoughts and emotions that are too strong and memories that are always weighing me down #so thats really saying something and if nothing else speaks to the medicine of storytelling #similarly every fic by thefangirlofhp is embedding itself so deep into my heart but this ONE in particular man..ive been thinking about it #nonstoppppp #elriel

[waterfallofspace]

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

#waterfalltalks #waterfallrambles #more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha #been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious??? #idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life #or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling #but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again #i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care #it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that #if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored #anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~ #using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself! #gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!! #just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~ #thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3 #i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333 #not snz