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#thats all well and good and fun but like my writing ability has left me X_X idk whats going on here
nightqueen1221 · 2 years
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Muichiro x reader who is the polar opposite of muichoro their inseparable while muichiro is expresionllss reader is very cheery and a ball of sunshine but the second their inside they just have a mental breakdown on him bc they're overwhelmed by their personal life with relatives and missions(backstory include pls) and just was too tired to act like a ball of sunshine one day just a deppress ball and slowly lose their appetite but still eats bc they don't want more burden shoved on them
Muichiro is my favorite character from Demon Slayer so I almost immediately started writing this. I have a few requests RN so this came out later than I wanted.
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Warning: Angst
    "Good morning Muichiro!" You said with a smile.
    "Morning." Muichiro responses, with an ever tiny smile making it's way to his face. Everyone at the breakfast table knew to two were very close to one each other. It still surprises them when you have the ability to make HIM, of all people, smile.
    I mean, you're a literal ball of sunshine and sparkles. He is, an emotionless ball of forgetfulness. He is also very apathetic and you are very much the opposite. To add to that, no one could break you two apart. Muichiro could be asked on a mission and you two would beg to go together.
    You two would read stories together, brush each other's hair. All that fun stuff. He walked around following you like a lost little puppy, holding your hand. It's mostly you doing the work and putting effort into the relationship, but you're both fine with that. You two will stare at the clouds together while sitting under a tree. While doing this, if you're lucky, Muichiro might lean over and fall asleep on you. He sleeps so cutely
    Anyways, you sit right next to Muichiro at the table. You're quite happy with today's breakfast, it's one of your favorites. You look over to see how Muichiro is doing with his food.
    "Come on Muichiro, eat up, it's really good." He was spaced out, but hearing your beautiful and calming voice pulled him back to reality.
    "O-oh, yeah."He said looking down at his plate. "I just spaced out a little thats all." You give him a light push with your elbow.
    "Aww, it's alright. Just try and focus a bit more next time ok?" You beamed. He nodded. That is how mornings ideally go. But not today.
    There were no good mornings, no smiles, and honestly, no emotion. Everybody could tell something was wrong with you. You barely spoke or ate. Muichiro even cought on that something was wrong with you. When you left breakfast you didn't ask him if he wanted to look at the clouds or go on a walk. None of that.
    "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, concern in his voice. He was increadiably concerned, this was not like you at all. You used to smile and laugh at all most anything. Now? You had a personality similar to him.
    "It's just, I don't know how to put it." You said. "Well, it's just, my family and missions are becoming a really difficult thing to keep control of all at once. My family is telling me I'm not doing enough to help on missions, so I try to do better. But the thing is when I try harder, I'll get yelled at for not doing it right or not focusing at the right time."
    He doesn't remember his family really well, but he has been getting his memory back lately. Because of this, you didn't want to say to much to him about it. It would make You feel more like a burden.
    "It's not only that, I feel like a weight under some people. I can't do something right and I get treated like I'm not even a person. People expect so much of me and get mad when I don't reach THEIR standards. It's like they don't know people have limits." It was so hard to hold back from crying at this point. You could feel tears welling in your eyes.
    "I guess, I'm just tried and can't be the way I usually am. People don't care until you become something they view is out of line. You could do everything perfect and nobody even asks how you got to that point and if it put a toll on you, they only care about improving." You couldn't stop yourself anymore. You felt your tears start to run down your face.
    You felt him put his hand on your back. He was calmly rubbing circles on you. He didn't know how to comfort someone with words so this was the best he could think of. You really didn't care how anyone showed it at this point, you just wanted some one to care.
    "Well, I don't really know what to say. I don't really remember my family. I can't help you on that. What I will say is, I'm your friend, so know I believe in you." He hesitated for a second, he was clearly trying to think of a way to fix it. "I'll train you if it will make it better."
    You were crying far to hard to answer at the time. It did seriously calm you down make you feel better. His attempts at making you feel better or just letting everything off your back.
    "Thank you Muichiro. And yes, I'd like to train with you." You confirmed after your crying calmed down a bit. He hugged you silently. You didn't see it, but he was crying a bit. Just tears whelling up in his eyes. He hated to see someone so happy, carefree and his friend, just breakdown, worst of all he couldn't even really do anything.
    The whole day you two stayed inside. Mostly just doing whatever you could do to keep you two distracted. Board games, reading, anything to stop you from thinking about stress. A few people came over to check on you to see if you were ok. He didn't turn them away, but he payed VERY close attention to what they did and said. Uncomfortably close attention.
    You where basically his everything. He wasn't going to let someone try and make you feel any worse.
    "Look, if you ever need something, you can talk to me, ok? He asked, a slight amount of worry in his voice.
    "Yeah, of course I'll go to you. If you ever need something you can talk to me." You replied. He wasn't going to stay the night your place, but he left you with a hug before waving and quietly whispered, " Good night." Before shutting the door.
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mokutone · 2 years
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I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.
dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like
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here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.
anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut
djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!
also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry
and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO
i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.
anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important
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#a lot of the way i approach art is bc i worked with kids for a while and like. u can kinda tell when a kid is at the breaking point w/ art#where they're like ''if one more thing goes wrong i am going to Lose It''#+ at that point as a ''teacher'' u have to pick between giving them critique on their artwork to improve OR letting it go + saying their#art is good and they're doing really well#and i always pick the second one—LIKE. once the kid is no longer feeling soooo frustrated abt their art that they're at a breakin point?#THEN we can talk critique. and even then i will still tell them what they're doing well#until theyre at that point tho its all ''yeah!!! you're killing it! look at these new skills you're learning! look how you're improving!''#''look how funny/beautiful/exciting/cool your piece is!!!!''#because first and foremost. i think that art should be enjoyed#having creation as a friend and ally vs A Duty is sooo important#TO BE CLEAR LIKE. this is also still technically a form of critique#i dont just say ''good job champ! great work doing art!'' if u wanna compliment art and have it mean something you do have to be#specific about what is good...not ''that looks great!'' but ''wow you draw really fabulously detailed noses!#or ''wow the fashion you're drawing is really cool—i wish i had that jacket!'' like.#as in all things. compliments and praise are only meaningful if they are /meant/ and you cant fake that#MY POINT IS. if we want to take the pressure off ourselves with art. i think we also gotta treat ourslves like this#look at what we're doing and compliment things we genuinely think weve improved upon. love our successes#nothing better for the ego than to compare new art to old art and look at what weve changed#i should do some redraws at some point#my jutsu
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violentshine · 1 year
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ok this is really just for fun, the topic isn't really silly but the interaction is kinda
Sometime after Tigerclan has completely disband there's a gathering when all four sibling spend time talking to one another and the super fun topic of whether of not Tigerstar's reason for alliance was right (NOTE: IT IS NOT THE SAME AS CANON. so far my aus have one rule that Tigerstar wants to unite the clans as one as a way to put a stop to the many battles between clans. His only goal is absolute power but in order to get cats to support him he uses that cover up).
Sweetgrass (Princess in this au) disagrees, she says that unity would only cause more issues. Fangflare doesn't agree with her, "well fights are only about territory so if everyone shared territory they wouldn't be fighting"
((i didnt plan to write actual dialogue but i suppose thats whats happening))
"Over territory." Sweetgrass repeated. "There would still be fights because not everyone can get along with each other."
Fangflare rolled his eyes. "I thought you out of everyone would think unity would be a good thing."
Sweetgrass stiffened and Firestar did too, things were getting tense, surely they won't cause a scene but everyone else around them was too absorbed in their own conversations.
"If it was that easy, sure." Sweetgrass huffed. "But it's not, as I explained."
"You didn't explain very well. Prey and territory are like, the only reasons there's been battles, ever. If getting rid of the borders wouldn't get rid of the fighting, what will? Enlighten me."
Sweetgrass seemed close to losing her cool but she took a deep breath and grounded herself before responding. "Why should I? Look at your own clans history. We haven't been here as long as the other but, boy! With all the territory and prey Shadowclan did have yet still wanted more, what more proof that that's not always the reason?"
"Okay yea, but that's under Brokentail's leadership. If the clans joined as one now, there wouldn't be anyone desperate for power."
'Maybe should I chime in.'
"No. If it's not territory, cats will fight over den space. If not prey, it's bedding. There will always be fighting."
"But-" Fangflare tried to respond but Sweetgrass wasn't having whatever he was going to say.
"When you put cats who only know how to deal with their problems by violence, you're going to have exactly that! The dream would be for everyone to get along but with how things are, currently? That's all it is, a dream. I hate to admit it but that's the truth. Look, Fangflare-"
"Oh? Is this what we are doing? We're tearing each other apart?" Fangflare was talking from a place of offense, though he seemed to try to play it off as nothing more than sarcasm.
"No, however-"
Now Fangflare cut Sweetgrass off. "I bet you don't expect me to lash out at you due to this argument though. Since you know, it's all I know."
"I do actually." Sweetgrass responded matter-of-factually. "If we were anywhere else, at least."
"Oh."
'Hey uh- maybe we should tone it down a bit..." Firestar gazed darted from Sweetgrass to Fangflare, unsure of what either would do.
"Well, since we're ganging up on Fangflare, mind if I add something?" Shellshine chimed in, cutting the rising tension with well...Firestar wasn't looking forward to what she was going to say next.
"Uh yea. I do." Fangflare ):/ ((thats how he responded idk how to explain it in words el oh el))
"We have a leader we can talk about about reaching the goal of having lasting peace among the clans. And Firestar is, well Firestar. But Fangflare, if that's the goal you want, do you have the ability to try?"
"Wow! 'ability to try'! Let me think, hmm no I think Russetstar hates my guts as much as you do!"
"Try was the wrong word I'm sorry! I didn't mean it dude. C'mon."
"You don't think Russetstar actually hates you, right?" Firestar always thought of Russetstar as someone who poured all her respect and pride into her clan and didn't have much of it left for anyone out of it, so she shouldn't have any reason to dislike Fangflare.
"Of course not. I just wanted Shellshine to feel bad for me. Guess it worked." Fangflare batted Shellshine's ear. Shellshine let out a huff. "However, I am um...embarrassed...I think is the word, to talk to her with everything that happened. Also! I don't want the clans to be united as one, by the way. I just wanted to hear Sweetgrass' reason against it."
"So what's your reason?" Sweetgrass asked.
"I don't want to share a camp with any of you guys."
"Thanks Fangflare."
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talkintomytv · 11 months
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Finally checked out the 2019 Dark Phoenix movie! I actually had more fun with this one than I thought I would! I really liked how everyone was using their abilities in action. The music was incredible and It is always a delight to watch Charles and Erik doing whatever.
Is it just me though or was this "Everyone be a Jerk to Charles," The movie? Sure he was super prideful of his accomplishments this round but thats all he was.
Raven, in the previous film, said to the former students "You're not kids anymore your X-Men!" Then in Dark Phoenix, she snaps at Charles saying "You put those kids in danger!" When he wasn't willing to leave one of the humans behind. She said things to him like "We're risking our people to save theirs!" Or "I can't actually remember when you were the one risking something," Which is so wild to me because Charles always said that people with power should protect the people without. He's even used Apocalypse to broadcast that sentiment to the world and The X-Men are literally a team who have chosen to train their abilities specifically so they can be the ones to stand in between the people and the danger. And Raven really can't remember the last time Charles sacrificed anything? There's a major clue sitting right in front of her.
Then everyone started treating Charles like a monster for placing psychic barriers around Jean's memories like he isn't the kind of person who would help her train with her abilities until she was proficient enough and wouldn't be a danger to lower them. Hank had the nerve to say "You messed with the mind of an 8-year-old girl and you still can't see what you did wrong!" She was an 8-year-old girl whose tantrums have the power to atomize people! His method to help her control her powers was solid! Then all that space stuff obliterated the barriers in her mind all at once which was nobody's fault! Like Hank was saying "Just say you were wrong! You can't even say it can you?" for messing with the mind of an 8-year-old but then thinks it totally okay to track down Jean with Erik so they can put her down for good. The hypocrite! She's only 20! Then Charles still apologizes to them for his behavior. Like at most the worst thing he did was lie to Jean about her past when she started asking but she was also doped up on space junk so it's not that weird that Charles would be thinking "Perhaps now is not the time to be talking about this," We don't see Hank apologizing for trying to have Jean killed.
Yeesh! Then don't even get me started on Jean using her telekinetic abilities to make Charles, A paralyzed man, walk like a puppet. And even after that humiliation, and killing of his foster sister, causing enough public displays of destruction to fan the fear of mutants even further he's still like You are loved! Come home! You are not lost there is still hope! We can still fix this!
Then he even gives up the school! The only thing he has left that he loves the most. So everyone can feel safe from him. What do they need protection from? His overwhelming empathy and heightened perception that guides them all to the people who need help the most?
Wild. He's not a perfect being and I know he's had troublesome behaviors throughout comics over the years but Fox's depiction of the character across 12 er so films has only ever been that of a kind man and I love him!
It was a Fun movie! I'll probably watch it again sometime but I am genuinely sad this is where they chose to end it for these iterations of the characters. It seems like Charles never really had any major feats of his own and they only ever beat him up and put him through the ringer just to show how powerful someone else is. I kind of want to write my own story for Charles and give him a cool and big "superhero saves-the-day" kind of moment. Sprinkle in a bit of Magneto Angst because you can't have one without the other. I'm not too well-versed in all the comic lore so I would just be making it all up from scratch. I wonder if anyone would be into it? I mean that's how all comics came to be in the first place, right? I'm assuming no one has read this post this far in so if you're here Wow! You're really amazing! Thank you for listening! I'm just rambling now. Ah well, I'd be into a story like that! And I'm having so much fun thinking about it so that's reason enough to start one!
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imnota-star · 4 months
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do you have any more oc content?? i binge scrolled your page you’re art is very good 😊
whoever you are 1) i love you 2) i love you 3) i love you 4) the one ask that would make me fall in love 5) youre a little perfect to me (i hold you in my hands) 6) i love you
7) yes i do, i have been waiting for nearly a year now for someone to show the smallest ounce of interest. i am going to infodump now, prepare yourself.
lot of doctor who spoilers under the cut (the one oc i have posted before is a doctor who oc who i am utterly insane about that im still writing)
there will be a part 2 because i could barely fit any information in this one post
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basically dramatically improved clara's impossible girl but instead of saving the doctor she(genderfluid) saves the people around the doctor and also is Very eternal coded but also built up as a modified time lord but shows up anatomically as human which is WEIRD (i have written so much about it,) they do regenerate like time lords but they dont know How or how many regenerations they have left (I DO. I DO!!!!!) and she is psychic but only Sometimes and can teleport time travel like a human tardis and ok. its . its a lot and theres a Lot more and their story is Very complex (on purpose, i enjoy it as much as i did when i was 12 and theres so much i Haven't written about, it makes me HAPPY.)
ALSO BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME. YES THEIR GIVEN NAME IS NOVA BUT IT MAKES SENSE FOR THE STORY AND I WAS YOUNG WHEN I MADE HER. they go through different names as they find themself so its immediately taken out
everything in her timeline all conviens on the parting of ways but at this point she has No memories and Doesnt Know What's Happened
here is their first(?) incarnation!
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(text is not written Prettily but im pretty sure it says "i cant BELIEVE you!!")
i dont have a lot of drawings of her because most of her little adventures dont make sense to her and i don't know how to draw them all in a very Good Way so most of my drawings are of her death ( ... :) she does not travel with the doctor but she does kind of dance around him
during this incarnation she finds out she can human tardis (time/space travel) but only in the doctor's timeline (to be fair she doesnt really think to try anyone else's, but i have a lot of stuff written about this as well, i . i am autistic) and she finds that she has Empathy (a little too much! she is psychic) and wants to save people, she also finds that she has a kind of seer ability (in touch with spacetime as a psychic) so she tries to give people a little longer to say goodbye to their loved ones or , ok there's not a great way to put this but she tries to hide them from the universe (sentient? the thing there are laws about, the thing that cracks, the thing that is fate, the thing that Sees All, the idea of it all, science! magic! everything) to give them just a little more life where she can do so without breaking everything, feeling out the flux in time but in a much more accurate and lenient way than timelords
she doesnt change much about his timeline, he still travels with rose martha and donna, she starts showing up on adventures with him with Midnight! thats where they officially meet, i have the entire rewrite written as if it was in a journal, i also later had the 11th doctor "respond" or make notes in it from his perspective for fun
ok also i said she started showing up on adventures, she is Not consistent and refuses to meet Donna, she disappears on the magic man! what a lady! and from there she jumps around a bit but only shows up when the doctor loses donna and wordlessly kind of takes care of him (i have a picture of it somewhere hidden away in a notebook where she offers him a towel) and then kind of interferes with the mars bit but that is a Lot of writing and mechanics changed and im not talkin about all that rn,
at this point she's still figuring out who she is and her morals and what is Right (interesting time for her to be there while the doctor is also doing the same thing!) but she's also Wildly disoriented and cant remember the majority of what she's been doing
anyways then i Kill Her (she has a thing where she "accidentally" falls into the time war and gets a glimpse of it for the first time, anyways she's in a different control room and set's the tardis coordinated when the doctor regenerates into 11
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BOOSH!
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fell into the library
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then he pulls her out of the library! i have a comic thing for it but its so unfinished i think id be the only one who could make any sense of it (the scrawlings of a madman / THE VOICES!/quote)
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uh there's a whole story about 11's first episode i actually like this version of her so i have many a drawing about her, kind of halfway through is where i stopped writing as a kid and picked it up so its Better and also i Like It More i also . really Really need to mention that i made this incarnation's original Look in roblox doctor who TARDIS flight simulator and i think that is very real of little me, anyways here's some art of her (also they/them for number 2) (number 1 mostly kept to she her but because there was very little time to do anything other than fuck around to find out) first one is probably the closest ive gotten to what she looks like in my head
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this version is pretty commonly called the professor (experimenting with gender, also she just does Not know where her name came from and wants to experiment with their own identity!) and when she regenerated something messed up and she almost died again (another one of those written down but itd take too long things) and so she has to have some kind of psychic energy as a kind of tether or she physically cannot draw in breath to breathe, she can get that through immediate physical contact with something with time lord goop in/on it (psychic residuals, anything with emotion or thought tied to it) tardis and the doctor themself[alive things] are easy and comfortable to latch onto, things like the pocket watch and screwdriver or old clothes [not alive things but very personal affects with a lot of history] are very difficult to focus on and temporary solutions eventually she makes a contraption like an inhaler but for the goop of gallifrey this is the first clue that something is wrong btw anyways she has a really rough getting it together regeneration cycle and stays with the doctor in his timeline but mostly stays in the tardis for a long while, projecting herself outside using a bit of the tardis itself when she can, and if she cant and needs to save someone then she physically goes out (much to the tardis's dismay, they become friends) she met amy when she was very young but they only find out about her much later rory actually sees her in the tardis first but the doctor convinces him she was a ghost and blurbed a lot of technobabble about things that dont actually exist but are just odd enough to make him not want to ask and just sensible enough so the doctor sounded confident saying it then a while later amelia finds her and they become fast friends and rory is like THE GHOST?? and it is silly professor spends most of her time building the goophaler and then she goes on a lot of adventures! at this point i was really into just writing my own stories with her and the doctor and co if they were there (theres a neat cyberman one i really enjoyed, she has a thing with them, they creep her out the Most) and then for a long time she avoids any other companions than rory and amy (they are the only fixed companions in this universe) and knows where she can and cannot go (solid feeling of spacetime) and she kind of vibes and has a nice time, she's upfront with the doctor and tells him she knows More than him, and will do her best, this does not always go over well because conflict in media is interesting, and she also tells him her limits and what she remembers and they kind of just try to figure out what she is for a bit, she's a casual tardis occupant for a while and i have like per episode how things are written and changed and a lot of inbetweens (A LOT!) eventually amelia and rory leave and the doctor goes GRAAAH! DID YOU KNOW >:( and she goes yeah :( and he goes I CANT BELIEVE YOU! (she literally told him she knew, he knows these things are inevitable) and he leaves her ass on an alien market planet for a little bit while he fucks off to earth for a while and, well. you remember how i said she is like a human tardis? it does not come without drawbacks, and she basically toes the line on total self destruction when she goes too far distance wise, time wise is less harmful to her but like actually teleporting somewhere takes a Lot out of her like getting really sick or even sometimes physically harmed or mentally Deteriorated in the past she made a few short trips (up to 12 miles apart) that fucked her UP. but it was nothing compared to this -- ok i actually cannot fit anything else in this post tumblr is killing me i havent even gotten to the good bit of it all!!! i will make another one, most of my art is of the next two regenerations! and most of the story is as well thank you for sending me this ask :) if you actually read this far thank you, genuinely. i know i left out interesting things but tumblr has it out for me so to the next post!
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i cant write x_x i dont know if this is even technically writers block but i sit to write and like the urge turns inverse x_x and i am troubled by it
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celestialarchon · 3 years
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Celebrating 600+ Followers
i can’t believe i’m writing another celebration post less than two days after my first
this has been rotting in my head all day and might become a series in the future
Genshin Impact x F!Reader | Modernish AU | warning: it’s cute!
“I hope you don’t mind, we gave you a student teacher as well. It’s only fair since you were given the most troublesome class,” Headmistress Ping smiled at you warmly.
“Ah,” You nodded, “Thats fine.”
The elder woman patted your back, “Genshin Academy is truly lucky to have you. Your track record is impressive and you have an extremely rare vision. I think you’ll get along fairly well with Mr. Aether, he’s a good kid.”
You smiled at her, honored by her words. Genshin Academy, the elite and prestigious school, had taken you as a teacher. The education system was impressive and diverse, teaching elementary to college aged students. You were given the first year elementary school students and now a student teacher as well. No matter how troublesome the class may be, having assistance would be appreciated. If it didn’t, the extraordinary pay would make up for any issues you had.
The older woman walked you to the doors of the building and then left you to prepare yourself. Clutching your class roster, you stepped in and made your way to your classroom. When you entered your room, you were greeted by a young blonde man. He introduced himself as your assistant teacher and made some small talk before leaving you to prepare for the day. You appreciated his thoughtfulness as you tidied the room up a bit, smiling at your class pet, Dvalin.
Soon enough, the children poured in and greeted each other and you. Aether returned to the room, beaming at each child. You took attendance, ticking off each name as they all answered. Qiqi, Teucer, Klee, and Diona seemed to be the most lively of them all. They were also marked with asterisks as the worst “troublemakers” but so far things were running smoothly.
“Welcome, my name is Miss Bright,” You beamed at the children, “Let’s have a good year, okay?”
“Wow, you’re very pretty Miss Bright!” An energetic Teucer exclaimed.
Klee squealed, “I’m so excited!”
Diona scoffed and Qiqi nodded in agreement. You went through the motions, following your detailed curriculum perfectly. There were two separate general subjects, academics and control. One was simple enough, teaching the kids by the book. The other was all about assisting your students in controlling and growing their abilities as vision users.
By the end of the day you were exhausted. Soon enough the week flew by. As Friday came, you were exhausted. Most people had made these kids out to be terrible and mischievous, and in some ways they were. Yet, you had already grown very fond of all of them. They were much more tame than you had expected, save for some explosions and outbursts. Now you were stuck as some of the children were late being picked up.
“I hope my big brother gets a girlfriend like Miss Bright. She’s so nice and pretty.” You overheard Teucer whisper to the last three kids.
“Oh yeah!” Klee’s whispers weren’t whispers at all, “She’s like a princess. My brother is a prince. I wish he’d marry Miss Bright.”
“Tch,” Diona intervened, “Honestly, I wish Miss Bright had adopted me instead of that annoying man at home.”
“Qiqi thinks Xiao and Zhongli would like Miss Bright a lot.”
You giggled at their words, they were too sweet. Aether chuckled overhearing them as well and waving you off.
“Go finish up your paperwork, I’ll take care of them.” The cheerful blonde nearly pushed you out the door.
You sighed and made your way to the office up front. Paperwork was such a drag, not nearly as fun as over hearing those brats gossiping. The paperwork ended up taking up the rest of your time. By the time you were done you wanted to scream. As you left the office, a handful of coworkers approached you and invited you out. No was not an option as they insisted you let them treat you.
You were exhausted as they led you to their favorite bar. Aether followed like a lost puppy and you sighed.
“You can’t drink can you?” You questioned him.
“Ahhh,” Aether started but was interrupted.
“It’s fine! I know the owner. He doesn’t have to drink he can just babysit us.” Venti exclaimed.
Poor Aether couldn’t get out of it either. Once you entered the bar, things blurred. Immediately, your coworkers bought you many drinks. Venti was especially aggressive about drinking. The short music teacher was babbling to an extremely handsome bartender with vibrant red hair.
The scarlet haired man seemed to be a bit annoyed by the drunken chaos ensuing. Amber was giggling crazily and the school nurse, Baizhu had cornered a tall man with amber eyes, and Ganyu was petting you. Aether was awkwardly fidgeting, stone cold sober. Eventually, your poor student teacher ended up having to call a cab and carry you home. He was forced to try and navigate to your cozy apartment by unlocking your phone with your drunken face. It took way too many attempts.
You awoke the next day with a pounding headache and over a hundred notifications. The night was still a blur so you proceeded to try and take care of yourself. Aether was kind enough to go out and buy you some pain medicine and left it on your counter with your keys. It was embarrassing how you couldn’t find any memories of your adventures in liquor.
The weekend flew by until Sunday night came and your phone buzzed. You looked down and horror filled your body. Tomorrow was parent conferences. It wasn’t mandatory for parents but encouraged. Suddenly, you were tearing through your apartment trying to prepare for the upcoming doom.
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Before you knew it, parent conferences were upon you. Aether wasn’t attending because it wasn’t mandatory and you insisted he go home and rest. He had done so much for you already, you didn’t want him to suffer through it with you. You looked up as somebody knocked on your class door and opened it to see two beautiful blondes.
“Hello, is this Miss Bright’s room?” The woman’s blue eyes met yours.
“Yes,” You held your hand out, “Hello, I’m Miss Bright.”
The woman shook your hand, “I am Jean, Klee’s guardian. This is her older brother Albedo.”
The young man’s beautiful eyes bore into you as he shook your hand. You stepped aside and gestured to the tables in your room. The two took their seats and almost immediately a tall red haired man sauntered up to you.
“Hello!” His tone was cheerful, “I’m Childe, Teucer’s older brother!”
“A pleasure to meet you, Childe. I am Miss Bright.”
“Ah,” a crooked smile formed on his lips, “The pleasure is all mine. You are just as beautiful as Teucer claimed.”
You blushed and laughed nervously, but before you could answer he was shoved into your room. He turned to glare at the two dark haired men in the doorway. Huffing, he found his way to a table and sat.
“So annoying.” The shorter of the two men scowled.
The taller one sighed, “Hello, Miss Bright. My name is Zhongli, and this is my cousin Xiao. We are Qiqi’s foster family.”
Xiao stomped past you, Zhongli followed him quickly. You didn’t have time to introduce yourself to either of them before they sat down.
“How rude,” A smooth voice came from your door.
Two men stood there, a tan man with dark hair and a very familiar red head. Internally, you groaned at the sight of the bartender. It was going to be a long conference wasn’t it? You were glad you had organized your agenda so well.
“Diluc. Guardian of Diona, and this is my brother Kaeya.” The redhead said almost sternly.
He strolled through the doorway to sit at a table, all four families spread out. Kaeya winked at you and followed his brother. Now you were sure the night would be long.
No other families came, and you were left alone with the strange bunch. In the back of your mind, you were thinking of your roster and the asterisks. The irony in all of it was that the troublemaker’s parents were the only ones who showed. The room was quiet, families only talking among themselves. You cleared your throat and introduced yourself once more, starting in to your very planned speech.
A short time had passed but it felt like years to you. You felt incredibly awkward but continued on. Childe raised his hand which nearly made you laugh but you contained your amusement and paused.
“Yes?” You called out to him.
The lanky man smirked, “I’m sorry but what sort of vision do you use?”
“I will address that later on.” Your voice was kind but also stern.
This response earned several looks from the families listening. All of a sudden, their full attention was on you. The change of atmosphere had put you on edge. You tried to continue on but Childe stood abruptly.
“That’s an interesting response.” He chuckled.
“Tartaglia!” Jean intervened, “Thats enough.”
Kaeya kicked his feet up on the table, “You can’t say you’re not curious though, right? It’s only natural we want to know. This school has just as much focus on vision skills as academic skills.”
You were beginning to grow irritated. The children were more respectful than the adults. Composing yourself, you sighed. Nobody denied Kaeya’s words, although Zhongli and Jean seemed to disapprove of the attitude.
“As i said before i will-“ you were interrupted again by an arrow of water, you easily side stepped it.
Jean stood, sword in hand and glared at Childe. Diluc shoved his brother’s feet off the table and scowled. Albedo yawned while Xiao clicked his tongue. Zhongli merely observed the scene. Childe cackled at Jean which only angered her more as she dove at him.
You opened your mouth to say something but were forced to dodge a cold sword. Kaeya grinned at you but was yanked back by Zhongli. The room was in utter chaos. You gritted your teeth and once more tried to remain calm. Another arrow narrowly missed your ear and you felt yourself become enraged. Kaeya dodged Zhongli and thrust his sword at you but was stopped by a sharp pillar of light.
“That’s enough.” Your voice was cold as you used your own weapon to shove the pushy cryo wielder away from you.
As if by magic, suddenly everyone stopped to stare at you. Quickly, they sat down. Albedo’s eyes were alert now, he was suddenly interested in every word you had to say. Even Xiao seemed to have a better attitude.
You continued your speech without any further interruptions. Finally, the end was in sight.
“And to answer your earlier question,” You pushed your hair back behind your ear to reveal your vision on an earring, “I am a light wielder. I will not take any questions on it. Have a wonderful night and thank you for coming.”
You turned and exited your classroom quickly as murmurs spread across the room. Light visions were only gifted to those who were recognized by multiple gods. Light was a strange element that could mold itself and change to take shape of different elements, although it wasn’t perfect. Elemental mastery took a lot of time and the light could only bend to your will for short periods of time. Using light as anything other than itself could backfire easily. Ontop of the many complications, attaining a light vision meant going through a crisis so terrible that multiple gods had to intervene. It was a blessing and a curse.
As you headed home, shivers ran down your back. You couldn’t help but feel that you were being watched or followed. You shook it off and returned home. It was just paranoid thoughts after a rough night.
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After the conference, you seemed to be plagued by the families. Outside of work you ran into them constantly. It was nerve wracking.
“Miss Bright, Teucer loves you so much. He’d love to see you on the weekend. We could get lunch and then have a play date with him. What do ya say?” Childe grinned at you as you exited your classroom.
“Sorry, sir” An arm slid around your shoulders, “But i’m afraid she has plans for this weekend.”
You looked up to see the school librarian with a tight smile. Lisa was so kind, saving you from his shameless flirting. Although, she often seemed to flirt with you as well. You couldn’t really tell if she was being nice or flirting though.
He scowled and turned. Lisa laughed and squeezed you tighter. She escorted you out of the building, telling you about the new books the library had just received. Her eyes twinkled as you laughed at her puns and asked her questions about being a librarian.
“Excuse me,” A deep voice said “May I have a moment of Miss Bright’s time?”
You turned to see Zhongli, one of the only reasonable guardians you’d met. So far you’d not seen him after the meeting so you felt safer around him. Even Jean had appeared before you several times, though it didn’t seem intentional. You weren’t entirely sure but you’d swore you’d even seen Xiao lurking around when you were out.
“Of course,” You waved Lisa off.
She frowned and kissed your cheek before sauntering off. Zhongli raised his eyebrows as you laughed, clearly embarrassed. The nerve of that woman sometimes.
“Sorry, she’s a friend but she’s very affectionate,” you apologized quickly.
“Hm,” Zhongli nodded and stared at you intently, “I’m sorry to bother you but is there a way I could schedule another meeting with you? I would like to hear about Qiqi’s progress.”
Your heart nearly melted. He was so kind and it was refreshing.
“Of course! How about this weekend?” You beamed at him.
The two of you scheduled a conference lunch and parted ways. From afar, Diluc grimaced. He was curious about Diona’s behavior in school. She was a very moody child. Furthermore, he was curious about you. Kaeya had also pestered you for a date so the scarlet haired man was trying to find the right time to ask you. He didn’t want to come off the way he was sure Kaeya did.
“I would also like to attend the meeting.” Xiao announced to Zhongli once he got into the car.
“Too bad,” Zhongli chuckled “It’s one on one, you’ll have to schedule your own.”
Xiao huffed at his words. He disliked the idea of the two of you doing anything one on one. He couldn’t decide whether he was jealous of you or Zhongli. He decided it was you, since both Qiqi and Zhongli seemed to be infatuated with you. He clicked his tongue, Zhongli merely smiled, and Qiqi demanded coco goat milk.
“Does she like science?” Albedo questioned Klee.
“Miss Bright likes a lot of things I think.” Klee said, ice cream smeared on her face.
“I want to know more.” Albedo stated.
Klee grinned, “More ice cream?”
Albedo nodded, only hoping Jean wouldn’t catch them.
This new job had many opportunities open up for you. With so many people in pursuit of you, who would you choose?
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kiribakuficrecs · 4 years
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What are the longest fics you’ve read?
my usual go to is one shots or like 6 chapter stories, but off the top of my head here are some of the longer fics i remember reading and loving!!!
quote love unquote by newamsterdam (135,781 words)
Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”
“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.
“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”
When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.
- after i read this one, i was thinking about it for literally MONTHS. everything about it is really good, the pace is great, the characters are all well written and in character and interesting, and finding songs that apply to them in this story was really fun for me bc yeah lol. also i’m a sucker for fake dating read this if u haven’t already pls
roses are red and they taste like shit by unbreakable_red_riot (47,846 words)
Katsuki was really fucking sick of the smell of flowers.
- this is one of those fics i binged read from the second i laid down in bed, until like 5 in the morning because i couldn’t put it down and really wanted to know what happened. if i remember correctly i may have teared up at some cute parts in this one (but that very well could have been bc of how sleepy i was lol)
a heart swelled to bursting by eggstasy (49,644 words)
The summer training camp of Bakugou's second year at UA descends upon him with all the untamed fury of- well, himself, honestly.
PACKING CHECKLIST: ✓boyfriend (need to figure out how much he's willing to let him get away with) ✓people who claim to be his friends (deluded and in need of correction) ✓ptsd (that he absolutely doesn't actually have) ✓a healthy dose of denial (say it five times fast and that means it's true, right)
- this is one of (if not the very first?) kiribaku fics i ever read. it’s one of those fics that made me like them even more bc the fic was really good. this ones kind of a classic read that u may have read already but yk just incase
the beauty of a beast by starofjems (101,655 words)
Once upon a time a lonely beast lived in a manor deep in the forest. He dreamed of the day his true love appeared to break his curse... When a beauty finally appears in his life, it is not quite as he imagined. For who could have thought a beauty would be more of a beast.
Or
The beauty and the beast AU nobody asked for but here it is.
- ok this is coming from someone who literally hasn’t even watched the movie beauty and the beast, but i LOVED this story. i read it specifically bc i was told it was rly good n it was n its pretty lengthy so more content heck yeah
tonight, we’re at sea by idratherhaveyou (60,715 words)
Kirishima goes to a quiet seaside town to take care of his grandmother after she has a bad fall. There he meets Bakugou Katsuki and falls in love.
- good old fashion slow burn and good hurt/comfort content. this fic made me feel alot, another one of those ‘im reading this before bed but i cant sleep til i know how this ends’ stories for me
engraved in your mind by hejter (245,387 words)
Bakugou Katsuki lost his ability to recognize faces, so he didn’t know any of the people who stared at him, but he knew what dread looks like when he sees it, and as he looked around the crowd, every single person had exactly that written all over their face.
He looked down at the guy who was still on the ground, part of his uniform’s shirt burnt, his wounded face covered by his hands and his hair smoking slightly.
Katsuki glanced at his hands and finally realized something.
or
Kacchan is still a stubborn prick while suffering from face blindness. Also, quirk discrimination is a thing.
alternatively-
New quirk, who dis
- the concept of this one was so interesting to me, i hadn’t found a fic like this before n its so well written n interesting it does not disappoint. this one is a wip!
of ghosts and other inaccurate things by chezka (56,540 words)
A week before the sports festival found Bakugou walking back home in the late afternoon, sunset light making his scowl even more menacing and drawing a long shadow right in front of him.
Someone was walking by his side.
There was no second shadow on the floor beside his own to confirm this, but if he kept his focus on the street ahead and carefully avoided trying to look to his left, he could consistently make out black hair swishing in the wind and strong arms leading to hands sunk in pants’ pockets. The edges were blurry, but there was definitely someone at his side.
- i LOVE the writing in this one, and the plot is so good like this story line *chefs kiss* most of these stories i read when i should have been sleeping but had to keep reading to find out what happens next (this one is included) this one hurt but like in a good way ITS SO GOOD n rly interesting highly recommend
currently i’m reading a fic thats 600k+ words long and i’ve never done THAT before its wild. (not krbk tho before u ask) but i hope u like the list, sorry i didn’t have more!!
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verytiredowl · 4 years
Text
A character analysation of IdV’s Bloody Queen
Bloody Queen AKA Mary is a hunter in the mobile/PC game Identity V. She is personally my favorite hunter because she is easy to learn but hard to master. Her backstory is something that has always interested me though, so i decided to compile my thoughts onto this one post.
Something i appreciate about IdV’s character roster is that some of them are based off of historical characters, and interesting ones at that. So expect a lot of history lessons and references that should be explained in order to understand a character fully (especially with Mary considering how there isn’t a lot shown about her backstory through promotional content, and im talking about stuff like the official website here).
With that in mind, let’s just get into it.
There is not a lot we know about Mary other than the fact that she is inspired from a mix of stories, those being about a French queen named Marie Antoinette and Bloody Mary. These two are used in seperate ways, Marie Antoinette’s story being used as heavy inspiration for Mary’s backstory and lore, while Bloody Mary is a visual/gameplay inspiration.
Mary’s description on her info page and on the official idv website is 
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This is strange because it really tells little to nothing about Mary besides her being aware that the position of a queen means a lot of vulnerability. It also strikes me as weird because every other hunter has a fleshed out backstory being written under this tab. (With the exception of Guard 26)
So overall, the ground to work on is pretty small, we dont have a lot of info revealed to us, and therefore leaves her to be a character who loses a lot of potential on a writing stance.
Intro Video
Mary does have an introduction video, though, which explains the base of what happened to her Pre-manor. 
The video explains how Mary was the queen of a country that had a bad financial crisis which was so bad people couldn’t afford food (if we are sticking fully to the Marie Antoinette inspo, this was in the 1790′s) and the public felt as if Mary didn’t care enough to help her people, the citizens voted her to be beheaded under a guillotine. Truth be told, Mary was actually trying to help her citizens by giving them cake.
We have probably the most lore information about Mary from her deduction descriptions, which explain her career as a queen more in detail, about struggles she had and her situation in general.
Deductions
(Credits to u/mawile94 on Reddit for the images)
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The first conclusion is clearly telling us that the king Mary married had a problematic family, and the king’s family probably only looked at Mary as someone who will keep the family’s name up, someone who will have a child with the king. (Also, dont get confused: Maria Theresia is Mary’s mother’s name, not her actual name.)
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Mary used to spend a lot of time away from the palace in Petit Trianon, which is a manor located in Versailles. The secret letter tells us that Mary was egoistic, naive, and was kind of a glutton. The letter mentions how rumors are powerful, and are going to spread really fast once word comes out about the “incompetence” and lacking abilities witihin the royal family, which will eventually be Mary’s demise.
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Princess Lamballe is once again a historical recreation of actual Priness Lamballe, a part of the Savoy House (Western EU country). In real life, Lamballe was actually the confidante (someone who you would discuss private matters with as a royal) of Marie Antoinette after her 1 year old marriage came to an end. IRL, Princess Lambelle dies along Marie Antoinette’s side as she gets killed in the French Revolution. 
The shameful secret can really only be assumed to mean that Lamballe was actually Mary’s secret affair, especially looking at how all evidence suggests that the actual royal family Mary is connected to seems to be a mess. Mary is kind of confirmed to be wlw from this deduction which is fucking cool, but this rumor mightve been what also caused Mary to be beheaded. (But, IRL, the king Artois considered Marie to be physicially unattractive or even smart enough for him, in contrary to him, where he apparently was attractive. He did end up making up with quite a number of mistresses. But let’s not get into a conversation about how unhealthy or toxic royal relationships were in the 1700′s)
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this is obviously saying Lamballe is being replaced by the Yolande (Countess of Polignac) as her confidante. IRL, this happens because the Countess of Pilognac and Lamballe start having quarrels against each other, in which they try to win over the queen’s heart, and over time Marie ends up preferring Yolande’s company. But Lamballe feels as if Yolande was a bad influence on the queen, yet she could do nothing about it. The friendship between Lamballe and Marie remained regardless, and she constantly admired Lamballe’s loyalty toward her.  "She is the only woman I know who never bears a grudge; neither hatred nor jealousy is to be found in her." 
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Mary finally has a child, and it is a girl. Here we see the reinforcement of Lamballe’s loyalty, but with this conclusion also being titled as a rumor, it is also telling that this is one of many reasons people will start getting suspicious of Mary’s possible affairs.  
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This conclusion only leads me to believe that one of the several reasons why Mary was treated the way she was by the public was because of jealousy towards her life and the things she achieved at a young age. The description of the people who are spreading the rumors are bitter, sour people who take joy out of seeing the bad in successful people. Here is where it all goes downhill (as evident by the subtitle under the deduction title.)
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We will once again need a little bit of a history lesson for this one:
Koblenz, first of all is a city in Germany. The reason why the French would ever think of even setting up anything in Germany was because of the French Immigrants, and the reason why the Germans were cool about this was because the archbishop-elector (one of the chiep bishop electors) was the uncle of Louis XVI-a persecuted king of France. Along with the refugees that entered the city, two of them was Louis XVI’s brothers: The Count of Provence and the Count of Artois. them, along with Louis XVI’s cousin, Prince Louis Joseph formed an army of aristocrats who would seek to fight for the Ancien Regimé (The name of the political and social system that was popular in France at the time.) In the meantime back in France, the Royal Family gave in and decided to adopt the  Constitutional Monarchy, which was very modern at the time. This deduction description just basically explains that this is where Mary and the royal family fucks up, i just thought it would be interesting to know what they actually meant by what they wrote.
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Yolande has left behind the Royal Family and made a run to escape the country. If you’re wondering, at the start of the revolution Princess Lamballe was actually in Switzerland, but as soon as she got notified of the situation she revisited the royal family to aid them, and reassumed her position.
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This letter in particular is pretty cut-and-clear: the intention of the revolutionists was to smudge the royal family’s name in the dirt once and for all. What real-life anti-monarchist propaganda would consist of at the time was promiscuous imagery of Lamballe and the queen as lovers to further “besmirch” the queen’s reputation.
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This is just obviously hinting at the aftermath of the French Revolutions and also telling us the present (at the time the letter was written). Mary gets executed by the Guillotine, and-well we all know how the rest of the story goes.
Overall, Mary’s deduction story is just a short summarization of what actually happened before and during the French Revolution: it even added the details of how actually sketchy and corrupt the royal family within was, not just the dissatisfaction of the public. As a summary of what this meant for Mary, as the Hunter, she feels pure bitterness, and anger towards the citizens for the way they treated her and the people around her. And as we can see, there was no reference towards Bloody Mary what-so-ever, and the reason why that is is because according to the Chinese version of IdV (which is what the original game’s region/language is) Her name actually would translate to “Madame Red”, not Bloody Queen. I think it was just the translators having fun with words, and since her design is very similar to that of what a person would think Bloody Mary looks like, i guess it made sense to them lol
But regardless, we’ll still take a look at Mary’s design.
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Mary’s design is simple compared to other hunter designs in IdV. A simple, ball gown which was originally white, but turned red due to Mary’s beheading, pools of blood dropped all over her body. Mary also used to have long hair, but assumed by the very broken looking locks of hair, her hair probably was cut down by the guillotine. Eagle-eyed people will also take notice to her neck, which is stitched back onto the rest of her body, which the designers wanted to include really bad since its prevalent even in concept sketches as well:
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Mary’s gameplay design is based solely on mythologies about Bloody Mary, however, which makes things kind of confusing, but i guess thats what idv excels at the most lol
anyway, you’ve reached the end! if you have read this far, thank you so much, i put so much effort and research into this and i hope people will make good use of it. I also hope i made you more interested in playing mary and/or the French Revolution, lol  but thank you for reading this!!
references:
The Count of Artois and the Coming of the French Revolution by Vincent W. Beach 
The Princesse de Lamballe; a biography by Hardy, B. C. (Blanche Christabel)
My history textbooks
And wikipedia lol
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yeoldontknow · 3 years
Text
🖊writerly conversation tag
tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 
questions below the cut!
2020
what was the most challenging part of writing this year?
gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 
and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.
what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?
i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.
what piece has left the most impact on you and why?
probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 
what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?
that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 
how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?
i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.
2021
ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?
ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~
- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it
- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.
how do you want to grow in your writing this year?
this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.
what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?
i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.
name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.
gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.
tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!
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thornsofdeath · 4 years
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phf rants
as i’ve made clear im rlly impacted by this book. dont mind my lowkey venting
damn this is long
mista's coldness towards fugo / the stadium scene as a whole
it really really hurt me to see mista treating fugo, his old partner, his old friend like a dangerous enemy. i know he had his valid reasoning, but that very specific kind of angst shatters me. mista had his gun pointed at fugo for the entire stadium scene, not wavering for even a second. the worst part? it seemed like mista was trying to purposefully incite fugo to snap by right out insulting him and his stand, saying he was glad when fugo didn’t get on the boat. it seemed like he was egging fugo on just so he had an excuse to kill him, to get one more thing off his list of concerns. fugo as a person meant nothing at all to mista. when mista said “kill these traitors, or we’ll kill you” i wanted to cry. mista goes on about hoe fugo is a massive threat because purple haze is unhinged and can wipe out the enitre population if he wanted. fugo politely corrects him, as PH only has 6 capsules and can only attack 6 times in a day. did i see myself in that scene and feel fugo’s pain of just wanting to be left alone and not have to think about the past or the future, silent and melancholic during intervention and just feeling like the only way out is to kms right then and there? thats a secret ill never tell.  phf makes me smad.
there were some little details in purple haze feedback that got me thinking as well. in the 6 months between fugo’s leave and his cold reuniting with mista, fugo was playing piano at a bar. Most of the people who bring this up refer to it as just some cool trick he could get because he’s a rich kid. he is not. in flashbacks, it’s shown that bruno only knows how to cope with distress by isolating himself and bottling everything up. god, did i feel that. sheila e’s life goal was to kill illuso (to avenge her sister) and swore her life to giorno after finding out he killed him, it’s ironic though because in reality fugo had killed him, and in the first part of the book, they weren’t exactly friends. 
another part that really just made me wanna sob and bash my head into a wall was seeing fugo’s pure self hatred. since he was a child, he had it drilled into his head that if he couldnt produce results, he was worthless. after being disowned and thrown into jail with no future, he was completely hopeless. even after bruno came and took him in, he was never free of his liabilities. no matter what he did, he couldnt help seeing himself as some monster, failure, and burden. (kinnie moment) it worsened when he had to abandon bruno’s gang, his only saving grace was bruno, his light, hope, and acceptance. now he was stripped of that, gripped in fear knowing too well that betraying passione would end horribly. deep in his heart he wanted so badly to join them, to join his found family, but the logic he had drilled into his own head of knowing that betrayal was foolish and futile wouldnt let him have his way. hes back on the streets, just like how he was (or wouldve been after getting out of jail) after being disowned. he got a piano gig at a bar, and let himself wallow in grief and depression for 6 months. throughout the events pf PHF, we still see him clinging to memories and trauma. they say “what you let consume you will define you”, and i couldnt begin to describe it any better. putting all of the guilt and blame on his own shoulders, feeling he deserved it all and more. 
either i wasnt paying enough attention (this bitch got some rereading to do) or the purple haze distortion scene was kinda underwhelming. his character arc felt kinda rushed, like most of the book was establishing his bad state and constant flashbacks, and then all of a sudden he has confidence in his abilities and believes in himself. of course, im overjoyed he did get growth, and had a happy ending (depends on how you interpret it). stan fugio
vittorio’s fascination with pain really got me feelin. hgghhhhhhhh hh hnnhhhhh. he describes it well, wanting to feel his life force/energy in the form of pain so that he didnt ‘go extinct’, and the writing of it just saying straight up ‘cutting himself’ ‘hurting himself’ ‘self harming’ made my skin crawl. as someone who suffers with shit like that its both painful and relieving to know a character who has similar habits, whether it’s for the purpose of activating his stand or just to cope. 
2 times in phf, fugo does some kind of suicide attack. of course, he survives both. it’s never made clear whether or not he intended to die/didnt mind dying as it was a way of accomplishing his mission, but either way it got me heavy breathing. the last one especially, when he bites a virus capsule to kill volpe. did he know he’d grown and purple haze would miraculously save him with his own genius plan, or was he going out with a bang? luckily for me it wasnt really gone over like ‘hey you couldve died from that are you doing ok mentally’ or else i mightve felt nauseous reading it. im all for angst, but idk how much more i can take when its day 87 of quarantine and im numb as fuck just waiting to break down. 
angelica’s stand night bird flying (is probably not that complicated im just fuckin dumb) made fugo and everyone else hallucinate/dream. in fugo’s dream, it was pretty much an ideal au.  he was permitted to see his grandma when she was near death (preventing the professor scene), met bruno (fisher boy with fisher dad) on a boat and they became friends, nara went back to school and was doing good overall, abba remained a cop but didnt do any bad things, the whole group was all just good friends having a fun time. god i would licherally sell my body and soul for them all to be happy like that and all live. 
the concept of abandonment also messed me up, just the feeling that everyone say fugo as someone who abandoned the group in their hour of need out of selfishness made me wanna cry angry sad depression tears. hes a good man! let him be ok and happy i will fight all fugo haters no cap
every time i think back to the fugio restaurant scene i just. idk man it hurts me. the pessimistic bitch in me says that it would be unrequited and fugo would only be more sad because even through his efforts, he’s just another pawn working for giorno. on the other hand, it makes me soft n giddy because?? omyfucking god giorno asks fugo to call him giogio when NOBODY ELSE IN THE BOOK had referred to him as that. the fuckin “if grief anchors your feet, let me share it” part makes me wanna jusyt. complete my kin transformation into fugo and be a sobbin g  shaking mess in his arms as he tells me its all gonna be ok. was that a vent? absolutely. anyways, its pretty damn special for the don of the mafia to invite you to breakfast at a fancy restaurant before the place opens and its just the two of you. giorno fixes fugo’s injuries and tells him that he’s proud of his growth, and that he knew fugo could do it. dude?????? if i didnt already know i was a lonely affection/affirmation/attention starved bitch that wouldve done it for me.
holy fuck that was longer than i expected it to be. i do feel better tho
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chrysalizzm · 3 years
Text
i uh. realized people follow me now because of uh. you’re human tonight on ao3 asdjgfs
i have content!! behind the scenes content as promised. i do outlines for my fics as a general rule of thumb just because i personally can’t write things to a satisfying finish if i don’t Do That, and so - here are my chapter/plot outlines for you’re human tonight ^^ (i have no idea if this is interesting content or not i thought i’d put it out there because i think outlines are kinda fun hhhh)
chap 1 fundy
subtitle: an inkling
fundy makes an iron golem gone wrong, dream makes it go boom
chap 2 purpled
subtitle: uh oh social interaction
purpled shelters a fugitive, gets his house explosion-proofed as thanks
this is probably gonna be the only chapter with a funny title hh oh well
update: it’s not and i’m pleased with myself for branching out with my dry humor
chap 3 sapnap
subtitle: dust to dust
sapnap’s dying via wither effect, and he knows respawn’s around the corner but goddamn if it doesn’t hurt til then. dream skids in around the nether fortress corner, drops all his weapons cradles sapnap’s head in his hands, has always taken death much harder than anyone sapnap’s ever met. at the last few seconds, when death creeps up like a shroud, dream starts to hum to him hoarsely, pressing his forehead to sapnap’s, and in the final moments sapnap doesn’t hurt at all. the last thing he hears is dream whimpering. he visits dream’s bunker the next day, knocks on the door over and over, but there’s no sign of life there. sapnap shrugs, bites his lip out of guilt for forcing dream to sit there watching him die (if temporarily), and moves on.
the chapter that introduces dream’s primary ability of soothing hurts. put a lot of emphasis on the fact that sapnap ached up until the moment dream started humming, because for dream to do that is pretty frivolous considering once sapnap died he’d respawn and the hurt would just disappear but dream wanted sapnap to have a peaceful last few seconds. emphasize how abnormal it is that withering stops hurting. 
chap 4 ponk
subtitle: beaches dry of sugarcane
dream visits ponk after george burns down the first tree. when ponk arrives to the second tree to move in, he realized dream made the tree flourish, grow healthier and bigger. 
chap 5 sam
subtitle: fuck this shit i’m out (edit: the official subtitle is “oh god oh fuck”, i changed it last-minute)
dream picks sam’s brain for manhunt strategies while the latter is mining for redstone. sam stumbles upon a spawner and reels back, trips, nearly misses the moment dream sweeps him behind him and his eyes flash beneath the mask and when sam gets back up, dazed, there’s nothing but the splay of cobwebs all over the walls. 
chap 6 punz
subtitle: lines drawn
in an unrelated skirmish, punz drives his sword up to the hilt in dream’s chest, relying on respawn for dream to not feel any pain and for punz to get paid. dream doesn’t die. this is understandably alarming. 
can we get some funnies in chap? just a few laughs?? a lil funny for mr luke punz man?
can we get some panicky dry humor for real tho because punz strikes me as someone who copes with morbid humor and dream spluttering up blood is def a situation that punz would not know how to deal with
chap 7 wilbur
subtitle: so about that date
wilbur makes platonic moves on dream while dream fake texts his fiance under the table. wilbur also accidentally vents to dream about his little brother tommy and how afraid he is that tommy will get himself hurt for how reckless he is. dream siphons some of his anxiety from him, smiles as they depart from one another. wilbur notes that dream is shaking when they leave. 
chap 8 skeppy
subtitle: get wrecked noob
dream walks skeppy through some pvp. when skeppy demands a rematch w tommy and gets a lil stage fright kinda sorta thing, dream siphons his anxiety and his nerves and goes full soccer mom with bad and skeppy loses 5-2 but like!! he won!! against tommyinnit!! HH
is there any mental image nearly as powerful as dream wastaken, the soccer mom
chap 9 jack
subtitle: mandatory volunteering
after tommy goes on another one of his destructive rampages lmao, dream enlists jack, newest-comer, to help him rebuild stuff bc underclassmen have to do whatever upperclassmen tell them to do thems just the rules. after rebuilding a statue near the community house, dream pats it fondly, and when tommy sneaks back to set in on fire for shits and giggles, he finds that it’s fuckin fireproofed AGAIN
rebuild efforts, i promised monuments rebuilt so thats what theyre gonna fuckin Get
chap 10 antfrost
subtitle: twist the knife
ant on what ends up being an unpublicized manhunt: dream stops the manhunt because he’s triggered a raid and by the time the hunters get there, alarmed by the screaming and the fire and dream’s unresponsiveness, the villagers are all dead and there are raider corpses everywhere and dream is lying near the bell on his side, whimpering. (what the hunters don’t know - dream tried to fight off the raid but was overwhelmed and witnessed the village get slaughtered, he took the pain of the villagers that weren’t dead but were dying.)
segment: There’s a reason they do the manhunts, and it’s not just for them to horse around and try to kill one another for a few days. Antfrost is the newcomer but he’s always been good at reading people and from the outset he knew that Dream was someone filled to the brim with the restlessness that characterizes humans, that never-settling wanderlust, and his brain works too fast for the rest of his body sometimes, and he just needs an outlet. It’s part of why he eggs Tommy on in their little war games, why he holds onto those discs even though he doesn’t need them, why he gets that delighted look on his face when someone tells him that Tommy’s griefed them or stolen from them or otherwise ruined their morning. Antfrost thinks the only times he’s ever really seen Dream silent, Dream waiting, Dream unmoving, are when Dream is 
chap 11 karl
subtitle: head in the shallows
karl, sapnap, george, and dream have a sleepover after mcc 11. karl, nearest to dream, wakes up when dream starts tossing and turning from a nightmare. when he tries to shake dream awake, dream’s eyes fly open and he slams his fist into the wall behind him and the earth, the literal earth, the entire slab of it, shudders like an earthquake. sapnap and george sleep like the dead, so it’s just karl and dream staring at one another. finally karl asks, concerned, “do you want some tea or water or anything?”
chap 12 hbomb
subtitle: a maid’s burden
“i want to dress up as a maid for fundy,” says hbomb with false bravado. fundy’s fiance levels a very impassive look at him for an awkward minute or two and just when hbomb thinks he’s misread dream and fundy’s relationship dream says “i’ll get you a wig” and the entire chapter is just dream idly twisting the fabric of reality to get hbomb the items he needs to put the outfit together
pranks, i promised pranks, theyre gonna get pranks
chap 13 alyssa
subtitle: message in a bottle (edit: official subtitle is “ship in a bottle”)
alyssa’s leaving, at least temporarily. 
alyssa tells dream it’s getting dangerous on his server, doesn’t relish the expression that brings to his face, but he holds her hands and nods and bids her safe journey. when alyssa returns, running for something (later we’ll learn she had heard that dream was bad, that he might be dying), she finds that her house is completely inaccessible by everyone save her, placed in complete stasis by someone. 
start of the chapters leading up to festival arc. build unresolved tension in this one. 
chap 14 niki
subtitle: life doesn’t discriminate
wilbur and tommy are relentless, they waste no time; niki is willing to wait for it. 
the night before the duel, she goes to dream and holds a sword to his throat and demands he call it off, even though she knows it’ll mean little because of respawn, tells him she won’t stop hunting him down until he gives up l’manberg. dream smiles a little sadly and pats her hand and her fright, her rage, it simmers back down, and the anger that had swarmed her and made dream out to be the devil dies down until it’s just her friend, who was playing along with tommy til it got serious and he got cocky, who’s just as in over his head as she is, and maybe niki’s soft but she likes that about herself, that she’s always the first to forgive. niki is looking at the healing cut on dream’s neck, uncovered by any bandages, when dream shoots tommy, a clean shot that causes no suffering.
a long chapter, probably. i think at some point in this i want to mention niki’s respect for dream for apologizing during the first pet war, for not letting things get any bigger until fundy came back. some parallels can be drawn here - that dream let the fire die down in the initial stages of the pet war, that dream won’t let go of the l’manberg war now, and it occurs to niki that she doesn’t know dream nearly as well as she thinks she does if she expected him to act exactly the way he did during the pet war. she’s got what she’s wanted - dream’s remorse, proof of dream’s humanity - even though it’s not in the form niki wanted it. 
chap 15 eret
subtitle: crown of thorns
the king in name only consults with the true leader. 
they’re both upset about pogtopia’s exile, eret arguably more so because they think their early betrayal of l’manberg somehow butterfly-effected into the current dumpster fire, and as they talk eret works themself into a full panic attack reflecting on things that were, things that could’ve been - and the tide washes out all of a sudden, and eret’s left with the same looming hollowness they’d been feeling before, no dregs of the panic, they’ve never had a panic attack that left them feeling normal after - but dream is now wheezing like he’s about to die and eret immediately walks him through the panic attack, levelheaded even as they’re confused out of their mind. 
chap 16 quackity
subtitle: water to blood
quackity is a snake in the grass. 
quackity at schlatt’s side during the few weeks of his presidency. he knows schlatt from before, has been his friend, so he knows when his friend is acting off. the cynical, straight-faced humor is still there, his completely bland delivery and brazen showmanship, but it’s twisted to the left somehow, to make it so that those qualities that make up his friend have rotted, hurt people. quackity eventually goes to dream after schlatt first overdoses with a lot of questions, maybe even to confess that his allegiance has begun to shift because he can’t go to pogtopia and he can’t go to schlatt - and dream just gives him a long, sad look before lightly patting quackity’s shoulder and says “i can’t guarantee anything - just that you’ll be safe” and shooing him off and as quackity heads back to manberg he realises all the hostile mobs are avoiding him like the fucking plague. 
it’s big q!!!! fattest ass in the cabinet!!!!! pog!!!
fun fact this chapter’s subtitle was almost “chekhov’s gun” until november fucking 16th of 2020
chap 17 tommy
subtitle: most disputes die and no one shoots
tommy learns how a legacy dies.
a compendium of tommy watching the madness consume wilbur. it needs to be emphasized in this chapter that wilbur becomes an entirely different person when they’re ejected from manberg, that he becomes obsessed with the legacy he’s created and watching it crumble is what twists him; when dream gives tommy his crossbow, tommy, out of desperation and a need to have an older sibling again, asks what’s wrong with wilbur; dream’s face hardens and he asks tommy to take dream to wilbur. it’s a terse meeting, the only one they have before techno and before wilbur completely loses it and demands the tnt; wilbur says a lot of things tommy doesn’t understand (it’s complex mythological jargon hinting at dream’s status as a god but could be misconstrued to refer to dream’s status as simply the world owner) and at one point wilbur sneers, “are you trying to play god, dream?” and dream lurches forward and grabs wilbur by the wrist, and there’s a completely silent moment where tommy feels the air suck out of his lungs and there’s an off buzzing in his ears and he fancies he hears something that sounds, just a bit, like dream, whispering desperately wilbur wilbur wilbur it’s me it’s me listen listen listen then a shrieking, acrid wave of no and tommy reels back and when he looks up dream has staggered back, his hand to his mouth, blood dripping from somewhere beneath his mask, sounding like he’s gagging or maybe he’s sobbing, as wilbur shrieks in a voice that is entirely not his “get out get out if i can’t have l’manberg...” and tommy understands, finally, as dream sprints out. that’s not wilbur.
a distinction needs to be made perfectly clear in this chapter, as with schlatt’s chapter: it’s not them. they’ve been twisted out of control by something bigger than them, something that wants to toy with the young god running an oasis of peace for his people. it doesn’t need to be outright said in this fic; in another we can delve into the madness and who did it and why. for now, just make it clear it’s not explicitly anyone’s fault.
chap 18 techno
subtitle: colosseum
dream had to let techno in first, you know. 
techno and dream have interacted often - the duel, the championships, they’re friends more than acquaintances now. but techno was called in by someone wearing his brother’s face that he honestly doesn’t recognize from his voice and when he arrives at spawn, before tommy fetches him, he sees dream sitting cross legged waiting for him and they talk about the situation, dream giving techno a quick brief. when tommy comes, crying “techno, this way, this way to pogtopia”, and crossbow bolts are being fired at techno, dream gives him a lil wave goodbye (or what techno thinks is a lil wave goodbye but what actually turns out to be putting a swiftness effect on him).
“that’s not my brother, dream,” says techno, and dream’s mouth wobbles and he says, hoarse, “i know.”
techno Suspects, but only knows that dream has world-manipulating powers and thus standard minor god powers. he doesn’t let dream know he suspects. 
chap 19 bad
subtitle: run devil run
bad trusts dream, perhaps against his better judgement. 
dream comes to visit bad and skeppy on neutral grounds in the interim leading up to the festival that everyone on the server is side-eyeing and side-stepping. bad considers his friend and the owner of the world as he gives dream an impromptu tour through the escape route he and skeppy have dug out, wonders with a little reproach how dream could let things get to this point, then, soft, gentle as always, acknowledges that dream is only human kindly. when he says that, though, dream’s face crumples, as though those words hurt him more than any criticism bad’s given him in the time he’s known him, as though bad had driven a blade into his heart, and bad doesn’t understand but he lets dream run away from that. when a small flock of creepers explode over the tunnel the night before the festival and bad grumbles that he has to fix it, he learns dream left him with a fortified escape tunnel.
a/n: i’m sure the irony isn’t lost on you.
chap 20 tubbo
subtitle: cadmean victory
what say the sacrificial lamb?
tubbo is coming to terms with the fact that he might not make it out of office in one piece and it’s not his first time respawning but the older members of the server always, always did their best to shield the younger ones from death. he runs into dream by complete coincidence while he’s avoiding pogtopia (mostly wilbur) and manberg (mostly schlatt), caught between two strangers wearing his friends’ faces. he looks at dream, who looks back at him impassively, and tubbo starts to cry, because it finally hits him that even with his death and respawn nothing will be fixed, nothing can change, the poison’s run too deep into the veins of dream’s beautiful little world and now nothing can be right anymore and it feels like he’s shattering into tiny, aching shards - and then dream kneels before him, takes his hands, presses his forehead to them, sighs like his heart’s breaking, and tubbo feels a small calm thread back into him as dream stands abruptly, jittery. dream, with hands that shake, grips tubbo’s shoulder, hovers for a second, then his head jerks up and he bolts into the forest, clambering up a tree with admirable ease and disappearing away into the leaves as schlatt suddenly emerges from the bushes nearby with a joyous, plastic “hey! tubbo!”
chap 21 george
subtitle: lantern burns low
a moment in the night; george is visited by a specter. 
dream comes, pale, and asks george if there is anything wrong, is everything okay with you? takes george’s caught-off-guard face in his hands and says george george george, are you - and george catches a glimpse of dream’s powers (is he safe safe does he hurt no but fear but anxiety there are dregs hush now quiet now he is safe all quiet quiet quiet he’s safe) and he says, stricken even as the constant thrum of nervous energy he’d kept with him fades out, “dream what was that,” and dream presses his hands to his mask where his eyes are and says, despairingly, “they don’t get to have you too,” and staggers back out. 
george is the first person dream overtly “comes out” to. this is also why george doesn’t see dream til the festival. 
chap 22 schlatt
subtitle: the empty throne
dream visits schlatt in his office. 
schlatt, possessed by madness, has no idea what he’s saying but it feels right, it’s exactly right, everything is in his hands, and when dream approaches, his hands facing up, is he there is he there yes yes yes tainted polluted this is twisted this is madness madness madness dream reels back, shaking, and schlatt leans in and leers, not even knowing what he’s saying, “you can’t even fix it, young god,” and relishes the way all the color drains from dream’s face.
=)
chap 23 dream (edit: this monster ended up being split into three for pacing purposes and also if i left it together it was gonna be. h. 14K WORDS. also the drama of a cliffhanger at what most people thought was going to be the last chapter was too good to pass up don’t @ me
subtitle: do you feel like a young god?
running, running, running again
finale!! dream takes everyone’s old hurts into himself, takes the madness from schlatt and wilbur, promptly passes the hell out because no one should be doing that, wakes up, gets the shit hugged out of him, and explains a little, and gets told that he’s loved over and over. 
i uh! take questions! i like talking about this story, there’s a lot i still want to show, and even apart from that i just really love mcyt haha
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simptasia · 4 years
Text
neurodivergence in abc’s lost
i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms
first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression
hugo “hurley” reyes
schizophrenia and depression
our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it
it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)
they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool
(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)
extra notes
to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley
he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented
at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley
hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)
john locke
depression
locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails
also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning
to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression
locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode
daniel faraday
acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)
he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said
okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)
apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired
short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here
long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really
no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name
like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...
upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)
when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour
(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)
going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent
notes
his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)
he shows an inability to properly process grief
he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both
without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory
danielle rousseau
trauma induced mental illness
pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour
she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well
libby smith
indeterminate mental state 
libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about
but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on
benjamin linus
anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)
oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay
ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????
but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...
he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]
also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part
hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns
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that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?
the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do
and this
“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”
reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general
i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing
ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true
notes
ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems
ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people
it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks
honourable mentions
pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash
a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc
and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases
claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned
sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand
boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based
self harm
self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick
hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder
charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)
locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide
so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah
but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering
these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me
lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will
thank you for your time
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sitorrothekitsune · 3 years
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For everyone #18,#29,#37 and number 45 please, but if I can only have 1 question answered by everyone number 18 thanks!
Oh uhh- I honestly didn’t read these before reblogging and uhh- oki...
That said... the question is asking about our most traumatic experience.
Oh?? Well then I’ll have to sit this one out.
Why’s that?
Well honey, try and think of anything that I would find traumatic.
Oh uhh...-
That’s right. Nothing. So, there’s nothing for me to answer.
Okaaayyy moving on then...
Oh- uhh... For me... probably the dreams I make for myself, some of which are truly terrifying.
Dreams? How can you be sure that they’re dreams?
Because I’ve seen people die in these dreams that I talked to the next day.
Hmm; okay ;)
Uhh... Sitorro?
Sitorro?
Huh? Oh- for me it’s when I saw my father put in the coma...
Are you ok, Si...?
Yeah. I’m fine. Nothing wrong here.
O... K...?
Moe?
I will agree with Sitorro. I hadn’t thought it possible; and I didn’t know what to do next... it’s one of those things where you ask yourself “how am I going to take your place? Even if it’s temporary?” I didn’t know the first thing about how to keep someone alive, let alone the trillions of creatures that my brother created. Even my sister- who has two children of her own- was confused how to take care of species she’d never even heard of. I’m slowly getting the hang of it. But there’s way too many things to think about. The universe my brother left us with is vast, and I will never know everything. But I’m learning, and that’s why I’m here.
That was well put... I- never knew... thank you, Moe...
My pleasure.
Hunter, what about you?
Well, you and I have talked about this before, but I don’t really remember much... I’d say the most traumatic feeling I remember is regret though. I’m not sure why my body feels this regret, but it does. And so I’m doing what I can to minimize the things I could regret later...
Huh. On to the next question... let’s see here... describe a reason you lied to your friends... well for me it’s usually something as simple as “this story sounds better/is funnier one way, rather than another.” So instead of “the dumpster rolled, on it’s own, down the street on a super windy day.” We have “the dumpster zoomed past me at 20 miles an hour, making a dent into the convertible it crashed into.” Sorry, not sorry. To me it just sounds better.
Jeff- do you realize how petty that is?
Yeah. I do.
You don’t think that hurts people?
I’m not sure. I hope not; I’m just trying to breathe life into what I see as a mundane situation.
I see... well I just want to point out what Moe said earlier.
...
I’ve lied before, but I rarely do it, and only to keep the peace. I’ve found that being as blunt as Jeff isn’t all too useful.
Hey- yes it is!!
Try saying that to your ex girlfriend.
I mean-
I have a point; I know. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.
Heyyyyy... don’t put words in my mouth I didn’t say. It’s not very kind of you. :)
Alright, children. I think we should stop now.
I haven’t started anything yet. :3
Ugh... do you listen?
Stop means stop even if you don’t think you started anything.
What can I stop if there’s no start?
Pushing the issue. Besides, you don’t just bring up a guys Ex girlfriend and use it as leverage.
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I could hurt your self esteem so easily.
Okay... evidently you’re just frustrated with something, and probably need to eat. Moving on.
Well none of this would’ve-
I’ve never had enough friends where lying to one because an issue. I’ve lied to slaves before, but that’s all. And before you say anything about “slaves are illegal” remember that the rest of the universe doesn’t exactly share your purist views, and that 33% of all creatures to ever exist are slaves, serfs, or clones of some sort.
Wow, really?
Well... I guess I should specify- as a total of the planets I’ve visited before. But that data set is out of millions, so it’s a fairly accurate trend.
Shiro...? I regret to ask, but I’m genuinely curious...
Huh? Oh. Yeah. I’ve lied.
Exactly how much-
It depends. Don’t count on the truth from me though.
O.. k... uhmmm.... next... Hunter-!
I don’t have enough memories to say for sure, but I would like to say I’ve never lied...
Oh- yeah... kinda forgot about the whole memory issue we have...
I’d rather not talk about it. How about the next question? List one insecurity.
*all look at Shiro and say “you” in unison.*
Jokes aside, mine is of being alone... thanks to you guys, hopefully I never have to experience it again.
Oh uh, I think I just don’t want to lose everything... again... Sitorro?
I’m- honestly afraid all of my work will be wasted. I have to rely so much on other people, that I don’t have enough control over my work to do it myself.
I’m going to eat. Can we take a break for a bit?
Oh, sure? That might be good...?
—————————————————
(A couple hours later)
Hunter, what was that question again?
List one insecurity.
Hmm... I guess my main insecurity is something I mentioned earlier. Neither me, nor my sister, has the power to carry out the responsibility we’ve been given, and we’re just trying to do the best we can. But unlike my brother, we cannot do everything.
Didn’t you say that earlier?
Yeah. Traumatic experiences are traumatic because they hit things you’re insecure about.
Hmm. I guess that’s true.
Sh- never mind I won’t bother.
Hehe...
On to the next question?
Oh uhh... it says 45, but there is no 45. Should we do 44 instead?
Sure, I guess.
Okay. Hmm... in the timeline I come from, polygamy isn’t just only legal in certain countries. Having only one spouse was quite rare; even in the “collective nations” which was the equivalent of the US, polygamy was encouraged, not frowned upon.
Really? That’s weird.
Y- YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, THINK THATS WEIRD?
Naturally. It really is quite unusual among planets.
I’m going to agree with Jeff here. You’ve shown yourself to be a very kinky woman, and I’m sure you wouldn’t object to an orgy.
Excuse me? I’m not thirsty. I’m utilitarian.
Uti- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
Of course. Using your resources or whatever. I don’t care- English is not my strongsuit.
Tf umm we’re going to move on from that one. Shiro you’re being skipped here.
What- h- hey what’s your pro-
Shut up. Seriously. You’re not even ahead and you’re just making it worse.
I- okay. Fine. I’m going to bed then.
Goodnight. Have a nice rest.
Goodnight. :’T
Did you know I actually show up several places in Japanese lore? I won’t specify when, but a good portion of you will be able to tell. I still need to go back there aaaaaaaa...
Interesting. Uhh, how about this? Uhh if you divide a 4/4 measure in music into 256 equal parts, the resulting note will be the Demisemihemidemisemiquaver.
O- kay...? Well, I’m here to tell you that the human brain, using some basic modifications, has the ability for telepathy.
Wait- is that everything?
Yup.
Should we shorten the transcription?
I wouldn’t bother.
Okay well then uhh... whew. Give me a couple minutes.
———
P.S. it took me two days to find enough time to write everything we said >.> holy shit. Uhh... next time maybe send these as separate asks...? Please...? Thank you...?
Love you anon! We had to scold Shiro, but this was quite fun! OwO
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puppycat714 · 4 years
Text
Chapter 3: Welcome to Hogwarts
prologue      part 2
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Hello... to anyone who is reading this... um I started this about a year ago and I haven’t done another part yet, not because I didn’t want to but this past year has been exceptionally hard and exhausting for me. I started college last year, and freshman year has never been a good year for me. This year was no different. To sum it up as briefly as possible I found out I had OCD, due to my obsessive thought they became triggering. I was having many panic attacks  a week and was just glad with passing my classes. Then summer came along and me and my parents haven’t been seeing eye to eye... then I had to put my dog down. I have been under an immense amount of stress and my depression has been through the roof. So I want to apologize. I finally got a lap top so I hope to do more writing. I DO NOT want to give up this story for it has been the only thing keeping me sane for the last year. I have developed this story and I want to share it with you guys!  I am so excited to be able to post something again! Hope you guys enjoy!
Word count: 1,508
You sat there staring at him. Then you began to laugh.Between laughs you asked, “Albus...hahaha... Dumbledore?” Then you laughed harder. Oh the irony that was about to unfold before you. Eventually you calmed down. You looked at him only to see him with a serious face. This shut you up. You took in your surroundings for the first time since waking up. He definitely could fit the description of Albus Dumbledore, but thats... not possible... right?
You finally spoke after a few minutes of trying to figure everything out. “Sir... your kidding, right? If this is Hogwarts then do a spell”, you folded your arms in front of you. You needed proof. I mean this shouldn’t be possible, but there was a small voice in your head that wanted this to be true.
He took out his ‘wand’ and waved it while saying “lumos”. After saying that the tip of the wand emitted a bright light. you were shocked to say the least. You didn’t know what to say.
Then he said “Nox”, and the spell stopped. You were sure your jaw dropped. He had a wide grin on his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t know this... I thought she would have told you by now...” he mumbled. “How about you rest now, and I’ll explain everything tomorrow,” then he left. Of course you weren’t tired at the moment, and while there were many questions burning in your mind, you just had to wait until tomorrow.
Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t let anyone in so you sat there for the rest of the day trying to process everything that just unfolded in the past few hours. Apparently you had fractured your tailbone when you fell, but it’s healed now so you should be good by tomorrow. Eventually you fell asleep. 
You woke to Madam Pomfrey checking in on you. After that you were free to go. When you exited the doors of the hospital wing, a professor waited for you  outside. 
Even though you were nervous, you slowly walked up to her to ask for directions. You’d figure You should talk to Dumbledore to figure out how to get home. I bet dads worried about me... I have never left the house and not returned before... then again I am here at Hogwarts... it’s a dream come true, I almost don’t want to go home, but dad can’t take care of himself... As you were thinking, the professor was trying to get your attention.
“Miss (Y/L/N), I need you to listen,” she said. Of course that got your attention. Her voice was stern, and it reminded you of... no way it can’t be...can it? You looked up and sure enough you were face to face with the professor Mcgonagall. Oh shit. 
“Hello p-professor, I seem to have spaced out. My bad. Um could you direct me to Headmaster Dumbledore's office? I’m not sure how to get there and I really don’t want to get lost here...” of course you began to ramble... you were nervous. 
“I was waiting for you so that I could do just that miss (Y/L/N). Follow me please,” she then began to walk away. You stood there baffled by the interaction before catching up to her.
After a confusing and awkward walk to the office, you finally came face to face with the headmaster himself. You were gawking at all the things within the office, and he let you for a few moments until he deemed it was time to talk about your situation.
“Miss (Y/L/N) I have a few question I’d like you to answer for me.” he started. Of course he had questions, but so did you. You just weren’t sure if you could answer any of them.
“Yes headmaster,” you replied. It would be strange for anyone to have a child pop out of nowhere at their school. 
“How did you get here?” he asked. 
“Well sir as I said before, that’s hard to explain and i’m not sure of it myself. All I know was that I was in my house when I found this secret room. There was a door in the room with a key and a small note which read, ‘For those who need to be placed where they belong they must open the door to right the wrong.’  It was the strangest feeling when I picked up the key. Then I used the key to open the door. I just felt an urge to open and go through the door. Then I felt a tug as I went through the door and landed by a lake. Which I assume is the Black Lake. Then well, you know the rest I assume.” you explained. 
“Do you remember what the door looked like?” He asked. 
“Vaguely sir. It was a dark wooded door with some weird symbols that I couldn’t understand. It was definitely a sight to see though.” You didn’t know how else to describe it, but it was a magnificent sight.
“Could you draw it? he questioned.
“well sir it may not be the best drawing but I can try my best.” You answered.
He then brought out a parchment paper, some ink, and a quill. “Here try drawing it.”
After attempting to draw it with as much details as you could. You showed him the picture. “I hope this is enough for you.” He glanced down at it and turned around. He brought out a book and started to skim through it until he found what he was looking for. Then he showed me a picture of the exact door I saw. 
“Is this the door you went through miss (Y/L/N)?” He asked. 
“Yeah it is... how did you...” You started to ask but he replied before you could finish your question.
“I may have had a similar... case like this with a student previous to you. The door is called, “The door of tempus disciplinam“ the door that corrects time. It only comes when a person is in the wrong time period and it takes them to the time they are supposed to be in. Which means the door believes that this is the time you are needed in.” He explained.
"So you're saying that this is where I am needed in order for this timeline to continue the way it should?" You were baffled by this revelation. It's not that you didn’t want to be here. It's a dream come true to even set foot into the castle , but you can't help but think about your father. He has lost everything, and you couldn't bear to leave him alone. Not when you have a choice to go back, or so you thought. That was crushed almost immediately.
"Yes that is correct, and as far as I know there is no way back to your time." He answered your question before you could even ask it.
“Is there truly no way back?” You asked.
“The only way back is if the door needs you in a different time.” he answered.
“So what do we do about me? I mean I have no magical abilities...” you stated.
“Are you so sure about that? Can you tell me for certain you haven’t had anything strange happen? Objects moving when they shouldn’t, others considering you weird or an outcast, or just strange things that happen around you that you can’t seem to explain.” He asked. Looking back on that stuff, he was right. You can’t say that these things didn’t happen. Then he continued, “If you were truly a muggle, you would not be able to see the castle. There is an enchantment on the castle so that muggles only see our school as ruins. Yet here you sit, and you can see the castle. You my dear are no muggle. You are a wizard. 
You let that sink in. It was hard to process. All of your life you were seen as a weirdo, and an outcast. 
After reading the Harry Potter series, you felt a sense of belonging. Finally there was something that made you feel... understood. The characters were fun, and so were their personalities, the plot worked well, and it was just a great series. Was it the best with diversity, no. Did it drive some controversial topics, of course. Did you agree with everything in the books, of course not.  But it still made you laugh, cry, and made you feel angry. That is what a book should do. If it makes you feel things then you know the author did what they wanted to convey to the readers. Now you were apart of this world. The question is when.
“Sir if you don’t mind me asking, what year is this?” the million dollar question.
“It is 1976.” he replied. 
That means... the marauders were in their fifth year. The year they became unregistered animagus’... wait a second... the dog at the lake, and the kids you saw in the infirmary... oh boy.
@roxytheimmortal @rachelscosplay
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does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down
DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES
Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant
S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.
S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember
Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.
S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.
S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao
S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better
S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him
Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!
S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I
Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -
S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude
S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!
S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao
Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!
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