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#thats french for gucci
itsinkwell · 2 years
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Is the french slander meme going to meet the 2k mark I will cry what about gucci spy guys thats worth your time much more
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splendidcyan · 3 years
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o it’s bad batch day so here’s omega and hera doing space tween things (space tiktok??)
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georgesdamnton · 5 years
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Marat: Ugh, pet names are so lame! I never wanna be called “baby”, it's gross. Just call each other by your names, idiots.
Marat after meeting Simonne: Oh my ANGEL!!! 💞❤️😇💘 My sweetheart, my love! 💝💜😘💖💘💟 My honey, my baby! 💜💞🧡💕💓💗 The love of my life!!!! 💚💖🥰😘💙💗 My dearest!! 💍💞💟💖💛💝 My beloved, my heart, my cutie pie!!!!! 💘💋💙🥰💗❤️😍
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musicallisto · 5 years
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So I was at the Louvre today and guess who i found in the Roman section
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so yep, that's (presumably) what our good ol' Cassius looked like.
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But what if X and Y brought snails
Escargots. they’re french. they eat them.
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jojosbabe · 3 years
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Crusaders period hcs
I know it's been done to death but i wanna put my personal take on it.
Technically the reader is fem and uses she her pronouns but it can also be for non binary folks too. I don't feel comfy or knowledgeable on male/he/him x readers as im not a guy and i dunno how to write that. So sorry if my hc x readers aren't as inclusive to that group. I mostly write from a woman or non binary perspective because thats kinda what i am and can only go from my experiences. Not all menstrual cycles are the same but im going from what i experience or what i have experienced. Without futher ado. Lets get into this.
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⭐Jotaro⭐: oh boy. He's kind of a mess. He doesn't know what to do. Honestly at first he thought you were injured or sick. And tbh he has grown to kinda like you and be more protective around you. So the mere thought of you sick went back to his thoughts of his mother,holly. The very woman they were fighting for. But come to find out it was only "woman issues" (his words not mine) but despite what people think. He actually helps you out and makes sure you take any pain meds and gives you snacks on occasion. Makes sure you're not feeling sick or too tired. As stand users could attack anytime. He just is clueless without help. So you have to tell him exactly and specify what you need. Jotaro honestly despite complaining about it. He is very caring. A bit embarrassed at times but he takes it with stride and uses it as a learning experience.
🍒Kakyoin 🍒: nori, he isn't as clueless. But he doesn't know how you specifically need to tend to your time of the month. So you have to tell him. But once he knows. He'll be happy to help you. When you can take hot showers or baths,he reccomends those to relax you and ease any pain.
⚔Polnareff⚔: ah yes the French himbo. Despite what people think. He knows a decent amount about a period. But....he's a himbo. So you're gonna have to tell him some things. Tho once he knows. He will be doting as all hell! He will probably carry you places. Make sure you sleep on the comfy bed and give you lots of snacks and comfort. Jéan loves you very much mon' angé. 🥺
🔥Avdol🔥: He knows. And he is very good at comfort. He will make sure you are set. May or may not struggle with mr joestar on what to give you. He wants to use natrual and healthy things to ease your menstruation. While Joseph wants you to eat whatever you want. That includes icecream for breakfast. Avdol just shakess his head. But he is a natrual heating pad. So you gucci 💕
💜⭐Joseph⭐💜: He's a dad. He's a himbo. He knows. He just does. He may be a bit less himbo than polnareff. But he knows exactly what to do. You never have to worry. Well.....cept him ranting on to the other crusaders about feminine hygiene much to your embarrassment. Oh Joseph you silly ol man.
🐶Iggy🐶: yes i added doggy. He's as comforting as a dog would be. He may curl in your lap to make sure you're ok. Iggy likes you more than the others so he may follow you around more. Plus its nice to have a furry friend during these times. May even share his coffee gum....maybe. (r.i.p iggy you didn't deserve this 🥺😭💔)
That's all i have for now. Hope you enjoy this.
~jojosbabe~
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What brands do you see the nations working with the most? (Axis and Allies please!)
:D Most nations work very closely with brands that are based in heir countries! So I’ll go over others :)
America: Al works super close with Nike, he sports their clothes a lot anyway so they might as well use him as branding. Al also works a lot woth car companies to promote new trucks/SUVs! He’s been in multiple commercials (you know the ones like ‘Dodge has six more saftey awards than the following car brands’ that kind) you’ll ALSO see him, very rarely, in food ads. Mostly online food ads where he’s got like...a bag of chips in hand like “Game day snacks” kinds of things. ALSO ALSKDJSKJDBD he works with the NFL and promotes the Crap outta football games
England: Art does not do too many ads, he prefers to keep to himself more BUT he enjoys working with luxury car brands because he’s a fuckin NERD when it comes to cool, fancy cars. Art is seen a lot in high end cologne and whiskey ads. Even though promoting drinking is somewhat looked down upon, he honestly doesn’t give a single shit. He enjoys a good drink and he likes to say ‘Ive been around long enough to try almost every type of whiskey there is and I can say, this is one of the best’. For public appearances he isn’t usually a walking billboard like some nations are *cough*AlfredandFrancis*cough* but on occasion, for award ceremonies, meetings with royals or big international meetings, Arthur will wear big name clothing. It’ll probably just be a suit but it’ll still be high end and he’ll allow the brand to say that he’s sponsored by them
China: Yao LOVES doing ads for cars and bikes!! He also is a huge fan of travel ads where he can stand on the Great Wall or in the streets of Shanghai and talk about how rich his history is and how fun China is! Even though he isn’t the most social, he loves the tourism business cause he likes when people from other places come to learn about his culture!! Yao will often represent food brands and restaurants cause he loves food so much. He isn’t into clothing but he lets brands sponsor him though cause why not?!
France: Francis works with a huge variety of brands, mainly cause he’s an attention whore. He works with luxury clothing brands, cosmetic brands, wineries and has been in Air France ads. He loves when brands sponsor him for public events cause he feels special and fancy and it’s just a great time. Nations used to be hidden away and now he’s just out there! His favorite ads to do are clothing ads in magazines or malls :) The only ads he doesn’t enjoy being in are political ones, cause he doesn’t want to influence the population THAT way, and he does NOT enjoy doing ads for supermarkets/furniture stores/French Walmart equivalents y’know, those sort of corporate businesses
Russia: Ivan works VERY close with Adidas. It’s a stereotype, sure, but Ivan likes to play into that. Plus, Adidas sweatpants are...comfy. So he’ll gladly promote them! Ivan’s got such a nice face, he’s definetly meant to be on the television but he doesn’t really like that so he’ll mostly be seen in magazine ads or online ads where he doesn’t really have to talk, his stand there and look intense as the narrator talks about fancy cologne or something. Ivan avtually really enjoys the process of being in ads! It makes him feel special :) On top of that, he almost always allows brands to choose his attire for big meetings or television appearances when those happen
Germany: Ludwig is not the biggest fan of being in ads at all though on occasion, he’ll do them. He doesn’t let brands sponsor him during public events, instead he wears clothes that most people can afford, not $1000 suits. He has many fancy suits though, dont get me wrong! He just...isn’t a huge fan of being sponsored or representing unattainable, high end things that most of the population cannot get. But...One ad he enjoyed being in was an Adidas ad. It was a three minute clip of an interview about pushing yourself and never giving up. THAT ad is Lud’s favorite and he’s very proud of it :)
S.Italy: Lovino works very close with luxury brands. Cars, clothes, cologne, that sort of thing. He’ll model cologne or collaborate with high end brands like Gucci for a bag or something liek that to draw attention to the brand. Lovi is also a HUGE fan of soccer/football and will promote the SHIT out of it even if he isn’t getting paid to do so. He wears his players’ jerseys and will be in commercials for upcoming games. Usually it’s a recycled picture from a year or so ago but hey! He’s on tv!
N.Italy: Feli LOVES promoting travel! He does commercials for Italian travel in many languages so the commercials can be aired all over! He works with Louis Vuitton and soccer teams like his brother but he isn’t like his eccentric romance nation cousins, he stays out of the public eye more than Lovi does and he does more ads online than anywhere else. He promotes high end brands but doesn’t really do photo shoots. He’ll take Instagram shots at home by himself or do shoots with his brother/cousins! He doesn’t enjoy photo shoots when it’s just him, it’s a bit overwhelming. So he sticks to the easy stuff! Art supply brands will sponsor him to make art! And if he travels, he’ll be sponsored by high end brands to wear their clothes, which he’ll do with the biggest, most handsome smile on his face :)
Japan: Kiku promotes different animation studios a lot! He’s also promoted many, many snacks since he’s guilty of a lotta snacking. You won’t see his face in ads too often at all, he’s a tad camera shy! But he will post about companies/snacks and gladly gush about the things he likes. You won’t find him being sponsored by brands unless they’re startup brands or if it’s merch for comics! He isn’t interested in Louis Vuitton or Nike! And NO! He won’t do a Honda ad...Yes, he knows thats his last name...No, he doesn’t have a Honda car
(Edit: as ive gone through and edited some sections of this while it was in the queue I realize this comes off as ‘the nations are in ads all the time, it’s incredibly common and you see them like 5 times a day’ which isn’t what I meant but I’m not about to delete everything and start over lmao I mean it more as ‘you see them on the television, on your phone or plastered up in subway stations on occasion. You don’t see Lovino Vargas on your television every ten minutes promoting Gucci bags that just isn’t how it is. Being in ads is more of a treat than anything! They’re not really celebrities but people do enjoy seeing them :) )
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mikenewtonhateblog · 4 years
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My oc’s aka too long of a gd post
The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.
Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?
Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.
Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human
Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.
Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone
Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human
Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)
Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)
Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 
Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.
That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.
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gridoc · 4 years
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YOURE A BLESSING YO FUCK THAT ANON YOU GUCCI AN AROUND HOE, MY BEST BITCH. MY FRENCH TO MY FRY. THE FRENCH (polish) TO MY TOAST I LOVE YOU BITCH GO AND KICK NAMES AND TAKE ASS💝💞💗💗💝❤❤💞💗💝💗💝💗💞❤💞❤💞❤❤💝❤💗💞✊😩😩👌👌👌😥😥😥😥😤😤😭💝😩😤💞💗👌💗👌💝💗😔🙂🙂😆😄😆😆☺😄💗❤💗💗💗❤💝💝💝💞💞💗💞💝💞
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THE POLISH TO MY TOAST!!! THATS ADORABLE ,,, ILY NONNY
#.q
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vandergeld · 4 years
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                  hey  everyone welcome BACK to my blog  ,  hi  , how  are  ya ?   i’m   RUZZY   (  or  ru  ,  rudy  idk  if thats too  much  lmAO  )  &  i  have  not  been  apart  of  a  group  in  84  years ............  that  graphic  is  so  extra  but  i  was  bored  &  first  impressions  are  everything  ,  ANYWHO  this  is  my  mans WARNER  played  by  my  mans  GRAYSON DOLAN  ,  who  lacks  f’n  resources  so  i  gotta  work  some  magic  w/  all  these  gifs  on  tumblr  lmao  so  any  gif  icons  are  noT  mine  for  the  most  part  they’ll  be  taken  from  gifs  alr  created  (  s/o  2  the  fly  hunnies  that  made  ‘em  )  anyway  ya’ll  don’t  really  care�� abt  me  lmao  soooooo here’s warner ! PLS  feel  free  to  hmu ANYTIME  for  the  plots  &  things  of  that  nature  u  could  lit  never  bother  me  idc ,  my  discord  is  𝐫𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐲𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐳𝐢#1643 if  u  everrr need  to  get  ahold  of  me  when  im  not  on  tumblr  !
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         𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍, cismale, he/his. → look out, there’s 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐃. you know, the 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘  year old 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 of 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐔. you know, i overheard someone say that they were 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄, 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 , 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆  and 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐃. but that’s just rumours. fresh new pairs of air jordan 1's, the roar of a crowd in a stadium, and lost weekends come to mind when i think of them. what about you? [ ruzzy, he/him, 18, est ]
TW : CANCER MENTION  ,  SMOKING  MENTION  .
//   »    GENERAL      :
FULL NAME   :   warner     evangelino   alexander       vandergeld       (   inspired by the antagonists of white chicks lmaooo   )     .
HOMETOWN  : new  york  city  ,  new york  .
NICKNAMES   :   dumbass   .
AGE   :   twenty  .
BIRTHDAY   :   october twenty-first   .
ZODIAC   :   libra   .
GENDER   :   male   .
PRONOUNS   :   he      &      him   .
NATIONALITY   :   american   .
ETHNICITY   :   german  ,   italian  ,  irish   .
LABEL(S)   :   the   golden boy   ,   the   lothario   ,   the   jock   .
TROPE(S)  :  chick magnet  ,  hormone-addled teenager  ,  unwitting pawn  , upper class twit  ,
OCCUPATION   :  college student  &  collegiate football player  & full time frat bro  .
FRAT : beta lambada mu  .
MAJOR   :   environmental science  .
POS  : charming  ,  charismatic  ,  brave  ,  athetic ,  dedicated  ,   eco-friendly  ,  high-moral compass  ,  book smart  ,  kind  ,  energetic  ,  optimistic  , loyal (  most of the time  ) ,  respectful  ,   well-rounded  ,  level-headed  , ambitious  ,  debonair  ,  life of the paty  .
NEG   :  compulsive  ,  easily-influenced  ,  dimwitted  , hypersexualized  ,  problematic  ,  addictive  , rebellious  ,  bemused  ,  defensive  ,  clingy  ,  hopeless-romatic  ,  overly-competitive  ,  envious .
INSP  : nate archibald  (  gossip girl  )  
//   »    PAST      :
          warner   was  born  &  raised  in  the  city  that  never sleeps  and    is  the  product  of  evangeline   moretti-vandergeld  , an   intelligent   american-italian  socialite  turned   environmental   politician  ,   and  captain  william   vandergeld  ,  a  former   navy   captain  ,   and  now   a   shareholder   in   some   boring   fortune   500   company   that   allowed   his   wife   and   son   to   live   an   affluent  ,   and   privileged   life  . his   mother  however  ,   was   the   real deal  ,   often   using   their   sum   of   wealth   to   donate   to   multiple   charities  ,  organizations  , etc, she was  dedicated  to  keeping  new  york  city  (  and  all  who  lived there  )  clean  and  safe   , and  she instilled  those  same  values  onto  her  son.
          some people are born lucky  ,  and others  ,  lucky  to  be  born  .   warner  was  the  first  option  .  his childhood  was  nothing  short  of  happiness  ,  and  happiest  days  were  with  his  mother  ,  for  as  long  as he  could  remember  ,  any happy  moment  in  his childhood  was  faded  right  into  her.
          things  took  a  drastic  change  his freshman  year  of  (  private  obvy lmao  )  high-school   .   warner’s  mother  was  diagnosed  with  breast  cancer  ,  and  little  to  his  knowledge  ,  it wasn’t  looking  pretty  from  the  start  .  she was  frequently  in  and  out  of the hospital  for  a  few  months  at  a  time  and  it  was  not  looking  good  on  any  fronts  .  one  day  when  she  went  to  the  hospital  it seemed  like  she  never  left  ,  maybe  she  didn’t  ,  those  days  were  a blur  for  warner  to  be  honest  .  watching  his  mother  lose  life  , every  single  day  was  not  a task  he  was  up  for  .
          by  then  it  was  just  warner  and  his  father  ,  they  were  all  they  had  in  the big  city  . (  when  he  wasn’t  always  away  on business  )  warner  grew  up  in   that  big  luxy  town  house  all  by  himself  ,  with  the  company  of  loyal  maids  ,  chefs  ,   and  nannies  of course  .  but  in  high  school  , the  more  he  really submerged  himself  into  it  ,  it  was  a  crazy  world  &  he  loved  it  .  whilst  getting  demands  from  his  father  in  tokyo  to  attend  those  boring  sailing  classes  ,  warner  instead  headed  out  to  their  beach  house  in  the  hamptons  for  an  early  20  rager  .
       warner  undoubtedly knew  the  power  he  possessed  ,   big  man  on  campus  type  &  it felt  good  , until  about towards  the  end  of his  junior  year  he  was  honestly  all   partied   out  ,  but  of  course reputation  is   everything  ,  in  order  to  keep  up  thats  when  he  picked  up  the   real  ugly  habits  ,  that  were  of  course  fun  .  smoking  numerous  amounts  of  marijuana  ,  various  girls  in  -  and  -  out  every other  day  was  a  feeling  like  no  other  ,   he  knew  it  was  wrong  ,  he  knew  his  mom  would  be  ashamed  ,  him  doing  all these  things  and  not carrying  on  her  legacy  in  some  way .  but  he  couldn’t  help  himself  in a  all  honesty   ,   and   no  doubt  some  of  that  transitioned  over  in  college .
//   »    AES   :
          lost weekends partying  ,  chicken  wings  &  french  fries  ,  air  jordan  1′s  ,  gucci  guilty  cologne  ,  friday  night  lights  ,  clouds  of  smoke  &  red  eyes  ,  diamond  encrusted  jewelry  glistening  under  bright  lights  in  a  dark  room  ,  nike  sweatsuits  ,  game  winning  moves  ,  new  york  city  at  night  ,  hamptons  in  the  summer  ,  spring  break  in  miami  ,  impulsive decisions  .
//   »    TL;DR   :
(  and  some  stuff  i  probably  missed  oops  )  warner  is  a  conflicted  mama’s   boy  who  knows  half  the  shit  he does  is  wrong  but  can’t  stop  .  after  his  mothers passing  he had  an absent father  who seemed  to  always  be  away  on  business  ,  only  in  town  for  a  month  or  two  ,  missing  his sons’ multiple  feats   to  keep  himself  distracted  from  the  fact  that  his  wife  was  no  longer  with  them. created  immense daddy  issues  for  warner  ,  especially  since  he  was  a  standout  football  star  &  2x   stage  champ in  high  school  ,  and is  currently  playing  collegiality  for  the  irish ,  with  dreams  of  making  it  in  the  nfl  cause  screw  his  dad  he  don’t  wanna  go   2  the  navy   ,   or  work  for  dat  company # not  gonna  happen .  warner  took  great  advantage  of  wealth  &  his  fathers  absence  ,  but  he’s  lowkey  partied  out  in  college  ,  or  so  he likes  to  say  but  he fakes  it ‘till  he  makes  it bc  he  doesn’t  his  brothers  to think  he’s  lame . HE’S  LIVING  FOR  EVERYBODY  BUT  HIM  BASICALLY .
//   »    HEADCANONS    :
warner  is  on  a  football  scholarship  majoring  in  environmental  science  bc  although  he  most  likely  won’t  do  shit  w/  da  degree its  for  mommy  .
he can EASILY  be  manipulated  or  taken  advantage  of  ,  he’s  book  smart  but lowkey  dumber  than  a  fucking  box  of  rocks 
immastonerbyyoungthug.mp3  .  occasionally ,  but  ,  more  so  than  that  ?  he  always  manages  to  flush  out  his  system  in  time  if  needed  be  ,  but  he  loves  2  roll  up  #  stress relief 
a  BEAST  on  that  field  (  student  athlete  meme  here  )
has  all  the  canon  gray  tattoos  bc  fuck  what  dad  thinks  .  he  wears  a solid  16 inch gold  chain  ,  and  another  of  the same  length with  his  moms’  name  on  it  , never  fucking  takes  it  off  ,  showers  with  it  cause  he  can  .
ok  ........  he  rich  ,  but  like  not  i  can  do  whatever  i  want  rich  ???  he  may  not  ever  have  to  work  a  day  in  his   life  ,  but  he  don’t  got  the pull  u  think  he  does  w/  his  dumb  ass  u  probably  couldn’t  even  tell  he’s  got  money  with  his  minimalist  fashion  sense  .
he  has  a  higher  moral  compass  than  most  of  his  frat  bros  ,  but  the  stupid  shit  he does  ,  u most  likely  won’t  even  be  able  to tell  ,  he’s  definitely  a  serial  romeo  and  a  heartbreaker  ,  one  compliment  ?  he’s  ready  to  drop  his  pants  &  fall  in  love  w/   u  .
HE DUMB  ,  but  like  he  can  talk  his  way  into  &  out  of  anything  ,  most  of  the  time  ,  batting  those  big  brown  eyes  &  a  million  dollar  smile  has  saved  his  ass  on  multiple  occasions  .
//   »    WANTED CONNECTIONS   :
EX-GIRLFRIEND :  i’m  thinking  his  first  &  only  “  serious  “  relationship  while  in  college  .  were  going  pretty  steady  until  he  cheated  on  her  (  hmm wc  on  who  he  cheated  on  her w/ ??  ) ,  she  never  found  out  but  that  guilt  ate warner TF UP  so  he  cut  things  off  with  her  via  text  message  and blocked  her  number  ,  ignores  her  any  chance  he  gets  ‘till  this  day  ,  cause  he  doesn’t  have  any  balls  and  cannot  face  his  fears  .
FRAT BROS  : lowkey  what  i’m  MOST  excited  for  asdfgh  like  whoever  is  in  beta  lambada mu  hit  me  the  fuck UP so  we  can  discuss  dynamics  ,  roomates  ,  allat  .
FOOTBALL TEAM  : same  for  above  ,  he’s  lowkey  cocky  &  got  sly  comments  when  he’s  on  the  field  ,  he constantly  humbles  himself  but  can’t  helps  it  ,  he is  hot  shit  and  he  knows  it  , how does  his  team  feel  ab  that  ??  w/  his  defensive  ass  !
GOOD-LUCK CHARM  :  prolly  a  girl  (  bonus  points  if  a  cheerleader  ???  im  not  picky  tho  i promise  if  ur  muse  don’t  shake  poms  idc  )  it  happened  out  the  blue  ,  they  screamed  his  name  while  the  team  was  walking  out  for  a  game  ,  and  she  called  that  he’d  get  3  td’s  and  thats  exactly  what  he  did  now  they  joke  ab  it  and  shit  (  maybe  a  goodluck  kiss b4  games  bc  its  warner lolol  ) idk  i  came  up  wit  it  on the  spot but  i love  it.
//   »    MISC   :
i’m a dumbass  &  this  got  way  longer  than  i  expected  but  if  u  made  it   all  the  way  thru  ily . 
17 notes · View notes
fagm77 · 4 years
Text
Things my friends and I have said in our 3 years and 2 months of high school
Lemongrab is a fucking twink, Jon
Who needs therapy when you can get high off Sharpie fumes?
Honestly the best case scenario is that I die
-If I buy you in a nonsexual way is it still prostitution??
-No, i think that would be slavery
-Well i wouldnt make you work
Sometimes I feel like im a third of a person
I can argue abortion like a motherfucker
This isnt a horny thing, im fucking tired
-This was an on purpose mistake
-My parents having me
You can die, but youll be like, fine
What is the most socially acceptable way to hug a complete stranger?
Yes Damon, I've definitely eaten ass.
Coming from a person who thinks Venom is hot, please don't get horny for the Grinch.
Two boobs does not a cis woman make
Its small and disgusting, like me
T-posing is more important than education
-The volume of my hand is about seven.
-Seven what?
-Seven volumes.
You just said a lot of words that all have meanings but when you put them together they made no sense at all. 
How much of this dude can I fit in my pocket
I would go to drag shows, but not with your mom.
I got languages up my titties
Trumpet is a foreign language
*drinking water* I drink to forget but I always remember
-I wanna name myself a word thats already a word but like, a weird one.
-Fuck.
-I am not naming myself fuck.
That was exactly what I was expecting, and somehow im still disappointed.
Are you eating French fries with a fork? What are you, a capitalist?
Are any of us ever really Gucci?
-They sell alcohol at Dennys??
-Yeah, they have a bar.
-THEY HAVE A BAR AT DENNYS?????
No, don't suck my teeth
Fuck transcendentalism. Thoreau can suck my ass.
I don't make eye contact before marriage
-Who here thinks that Tony the Tiger is depressed?
-Who here thinks Tony the Tiger FUCKS??
This is so sad, Alexa, shut down the government
I'd suck a dick for heelies
I'm going to become the piss man
Question: can I commit voter fraud?
Come on, we all know Phil Swift is unkillable.
Explain to me how hammers fuck, Elijah.
I haven't even fucked, much less been paid for it
-I'm voting for Roosevelt over JFK because Roosevelt could take a bullet.
-I would respect your opinion more if you hadn't just snorted alka-seltzer.
Im not putting my thumbs inside of anyone
Mario is a power bottom
-My dog has parvo!
-Lit!!
Nice dick, man!
Minions in bondage gear!!!!
I didn't die, I just got blown up a little
God gave me depression because if not i would have killed him 
Me: Venom hot
*5 seconds of silence*
My friend: Its the tongue
Me: Its the tongue
I think I just got nacho cheese on my septum piercing
Don't flex on me with your painless blinking! 
There will be no fucking of bread in this Christian household
I'm not eligible to grab dick
Are we making the bold claim that Jesus was a furry?
He was willing to accept his death because if he did die it would have been hilarious
0/10 i would not fuck your mom
I may be eating pussy, but at least im not doing hard drugs
11 notes · View notes
mattyslittleworld · 4 years
Text
6.
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I’m in a cafe in a French little corner of Toronto called Leslieville. I’ve been on the road for a few days by myself, about to start a Canadian week run. My bro hit me about booking a small cool situation and honestly I needed it. First show is a house show and I pulled up to load in...a punk girl full of patches watering plants on her deck. The house looked condemned. I walk in and the house smells like cat shit, there’s stains everywhere, food everywhere, spaced out wonderful dedicated humans, and hardcore posters all over the walls, showing the house shows they’ve thrown over the years. The punk girl said they’ve been doing shows for 6 years. They slide the couch over and setup a PA. This is exactly what I need in my soul. I grew up in these punk squats all over the world. I am this. I come from this. These people don’t know who Casanova or Albee Al are. They don’t know Fetty Wap or Tsu Surf. They know Realm Hulud and this underground culture they love applying to the outside world that pushes them away. A truth to be romanticized.
 I felt like I burnt myself out a month ago. Taking my dreams and flipping them into reality - the loss of friendship and love made me march forward and demand a new life and once that door opened I ran full speed and never looked back....until Quad Studios a few months back. I looked in the mirror and found nothing of the person I was - no resemblance of that kid. That scared me. So when John hit me with this I accepted immediately and packed my shit. I just wanna have convos about challenging, progressive, active things. Trade road stories. Talk about 7inches. Hardcore and punk. I’m grateful to be able to experience both of these worlds. I asked the punk girl if there was a coffee shop and she said there’s a booouuugie one around the corner if “you like spending a lot of money” and when I got here the barista charged me 2 bucks. I love that fuck the system attitude, although at the same time I think I’m becoming a part of the system - the sold out, corporate side of the music business that we all ran against our whole lives. I mean I just wrote a song with Casanova about texting. I just rapped 4 bars with Tsu Surf about gucci sunglasses and Louie v coats and fucking in the back of an Uber. 
I packed my shit and went to NYC and finally got to check out the Queens Bridge housing that Nas grew up in. They were huge. So many. It was so awesome. You can sense the pride and community. From there I just drove around NYC finding spots I used to hangout in as a kid. Blasting inspiring tunes and just vibin out. 
Ended up in Spanish Harlem, Queens, China Town. Damn I love New York. At 4 am I left and started my drive to Canada with a stop at Niagara Falls, where I had a Hotel for 2 days waiting for me. I checked in and just cooled out for 2 days it was amazing. I forgot how much I love touring alone. I drove a half hour to Andy’s house and hung out with him and his wife for the night. And damn did I need that. I needed trust. Loyalty. Familiarity. Friendship. Somebody who grew up fighting like me. Who left that life behind like me. Who’s been in real trouble and seen real life hell like me. We both came so far.  Beautiful.
Im currently in a hotel in Chicoutmi, Quebec. The window open, breeze coming in nice and sweet. Canadian currency everywhere. Coffee cups everywhere. Ive only eaten fruit the past 2 days. I feel good. Last night the drive was really lonely and long, but I toughed it out and here I am. Thinking back a few days ago to Toronto, I was so inspired and so electric. The hotel was right downtown and I walked all the way to Chinatown and the markets. Running around by myself blasting music. You go throughout your life knowing you need to outlive your demons - nights like that really defines that. The shows have been so cool. Great people. Great conversations. I have a few Canadians and im back in the states. 
Ive been editing three music videos along the way. One of which is with Casanova. Im really proud of this. I never thought id get to such a height of being in the room with someone as famous as him. We did the song and it was amazing - but for him to double back and hit this video with me and Rob, damn. The day of the shoot I was so quiet and so awkward before I left. Is this happening? Is this really a thing? Is he really gunna show up? A model is coming. Rooms have been rented. People have been invested. Its all on us. We got there early and set up the set. Ive said it many times before on here - my life socially is completely different. Everybody in my life is brand new and not many people know of my past musical endeavors or even my past in general. But having Rob and Colgan there with me really made me happy. Through thick and thin. I didnt hear from Cass all day so I shot him a text - no answer. I was like oh my god should I call and be annoying? Called him and immediately picked up AYO WHATS GOOD MATTY! 1030 right?! And I was like damn. This dudes a good dude. I asked him if he wanted any Hennessy and he said Yeah pick me up a bottle of dusse. I was like no problem dude….hung up…looked at Rob and went…”What is Dusse?” And he was like NO IDEA LOL. Hit Colgan who was on the way like yo can you scoop Cass some Dusse on the way?? He was like WTF IS THAT!!! I was like IDK so I did the whitest thing ive ever done (Besides being a white rapper) and sent him a google image screen shot and boom nailed it in time. Cass calls and belv goes to let him and his crew in and they mob up and its on. All love from there with such a good vibe. Me and my day 1’s making history…..I remember specifically me rob and Colgan at the port Monmouth skatepark hopelessly lost of a future. Written off by our town and society. Parents let down. Pieces of local shit that’ll amount to nothing. Here we are. Roc Nation….from the basements man. With Belv in the house - without him…none of this would be possible. Killed the video and it left me inspired to see bro just get in the back of a black suburban and drive off. Like damn. Thats wealth. Mentally, and financially. Thats inspiring to me. To be that much of a millionaire but still come and put on for some kids he sees potential in. 
I feel a void though. I want to share this all with somebody. Im ready for a relationship - I feel my mind and body gravitating towards that way of thinking and behavior. I think back to the days of having a home in someones heart….so comforting. I needed to run though. I needed this time. I needed to raise hell. I needed those fights, to fuck my life up. I NEEDED this. I needed to plant my feet on this planet and just get my name known. Make shit happen. The window is open right now…and a storm is rolling in off in the distance. You can see lightning. You can see the clouds darken. Wow. After this show im going to rush back here and just watch it on this sill. 
I feel extremely emotional right now. Im trembling. 
2 notes · View notes
letstalksymphogear · 5 years
Text
Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)
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Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.
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“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”
Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.
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“im old.”
But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.
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As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.
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And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.
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“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”
They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.
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These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.
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“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”
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“oh god she’s back”
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“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”
Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.
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“shits bad”
Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.
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“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”
Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...
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There’s a bloodstain on it.
So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.
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This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.
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“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”
The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.
How topical.
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“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”
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“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”
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“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”
And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.
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Ryoko logs into Runescape.
Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.
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You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.
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“thats the dark souls of swords”
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“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”
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“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”
The scene ends. Alright, where are n-
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Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.
Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.
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Nose the size of a wire.
Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.
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Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.
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“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”
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“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”
Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD
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“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”
Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.
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This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.
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“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”
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Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.
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“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”
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“shit ill get her some”
Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.
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Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.
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“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”
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“hibiki please its not weed”
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“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”
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Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.
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No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.
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The weed? Secured as shit.
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“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”
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“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”
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PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!
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“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”
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“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”
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“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”
youtube
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“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”
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“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”
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“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”
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Every car is destroyed.
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Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.
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“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”
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“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”
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“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”
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“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”
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Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.
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“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”
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RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD
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“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”
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“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”
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“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”
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“that is absolute fucking bullshit”
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“but i believe it.”
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Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.
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Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then
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FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.
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AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT
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“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”
The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.
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Immediate fear.
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“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”
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“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”
The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.
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“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”
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The sword just floats there, as a sword does.
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“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”
Chris goes to get it.
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“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”
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Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.
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Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.
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“oooooh holy shit”
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Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.
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Real spicy stuff running through her veins.
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The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.
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“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”
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“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”
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Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.
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Holy shit, Hibiki.
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Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...
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...oh.
You’re not looking so hot, pal...
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“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”
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Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.
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“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”
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“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”
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“SLICED...”
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“...HONEYBAKED...”
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“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”
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“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”
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“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”
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“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”
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Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.
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“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”
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To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.
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“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”
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“...”
“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”
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mcgrathandwives · 6 years
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Dating Agentcorp would include...
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I finally heard back from the hospital today- I have an appointment on Friday so here's hoping they'll do more than just a physical check over to be sure I'm all gucci good! Whoop! Also sorry that this is 2 days late I forgot to save yesterdays update so I had to write it again❤
*I DO NOT OWN DC OR IT'S CHARACTERS*
------
Request: Dating reigncorp would include?
Lena and Alex met you through Winn.
You were brought on as a consultant by J'onnz at Winn's request. You both had studied together at college and he desperately needed someone who thought and worked like he did.
Anyways. You were brought into the DEO a few times to help out Winn but due to the invasion, you were told to meet him at L-Corp.
Once you got there a woman in her mid-twenties, incredible black hair and a silk blouse was pacing back and forth frantically.
You stood waiting for about 5 minutes before Winn fell out of a black DEO SUV. Another woman with short red hair jumped out the front she seemed to be talking to Winn.
The woman in the silk blouse made her way over to them. You followed quickly behind.
"My mother's in my office are you sure you're 100% comfortable working on this?" Before Winn could answer he noticed you, pulling you into his side.
"Agent Danvers, Miss Luthor this is Y/n L/n. She's our extra set of hands. She's good at this sorta stuff and she knows how to handle a gun." Both women turned to you, the red head was the first to reach her hand out.
"Agent Alex Danvers. Thank you for lending us a hand with our problem." You gave the woman-Alex a warm smile as you turned to face the other woman.
"Lena Luthor, hi thank you honestly 6 hands are better than 2 thats for sure." Her facial features softened when she introduced herlself. Turning on her foot she gestured ahead. "Shall we?"
Of course it all turned out to be a massive success.
Once everything was over you were introduced to the rest of the team.
After that day you stuck around National City.
You now work with both L-Corp and the DEO as a consultant.
As your stay in the city grew, your relationships with the oldest Danvers and youngest Luthor grew.
You got invited to the game, movie and girl nights.
You helped Lena with her problems with Kara/Supergirl and the both of you helped Alex through the break up.
The 3 of you confessed your feelings for each other over a shared bottle of wine. Kara had been called out on Supergirl duty.
At first your relationship was a bit rough- the three of you spent forever trying to work out who likes what and then there was the challenge of trying to work out your relationship by yourselves and not infront of everyone else.
Keeping it a secret wasn't that much of a challege from everyone...excpet Kara.
You are dating her sister and her best friend.
One night she was out on patrol and flew past L-Corp. She knew you and Lena were working on a project and so she did her usual and checked in to see Lena sitting on her desk caught up in a rather heavy make out session with you.
Later that night she was heading to Alex's and found you and her kissing at her door, both wearing matching smiles.
So Kara being Kara called the 3 of you to her apartment- she was so mad at you for "cheating" on her sister and best friend.
When you arrived all ypu heard was Lena and Alex trying to explain to Kara what was going on, but she wasnt having it. Until your girlfriends seen you walk in, they both instnatly lit up making their way over to you.
Once Kara knew you were serious about them both she was excited and kept texting you different ideas for dates and presents- which in all honesty you were so thankful for.
Date planning was your thing since both your girlfriends are crazy busy with work.
One night you begged Kara to talk both of them into going back to your apartment in order for you to have dinner with them.
You managed to get tickets to the grand opening of Metropolis Alex and Lena hadn't shut up about going but not having the time (it took you 7 meetings, voice messages and begging J'onnz to give Alex the same weekend off.
They both loved it just as you hoped. It was quote: "the best date ever."
Lena spends most her time in the office and Alex tends to be at the DEO or the gym. You on the other hand have a normal working schedule because are (your words) "not batshit crazy".
You admire your girlfriends for a million reason but the number 1 is always their drive for making the world a better place.
You love them for it, even if it means having to sacrifice some of your time with them.
If they're both over working themselves at the DEO you always bring them a make shift flung together picinic for their dinner. It's always consists of Lena's salad and anything Alex claims she'd die for.
Everyone loves your relationship.
Not everyone takes it seriously though. Lilian has a massive bad habit of literally tearing you apart with her cruel comments about how neither you or Alex are worthy enough.
You're always the first person at their sides if they get injured and surprisingly it's normally Lena who has to make a trip to Alex with some form of injury from her experiments.
Alex loves to show off in front of you and Lena at honestly every occasion- she'll purposely work out as soon as she hears either of your voices or she'll flex doing the easiest of tasks.
Lena loves to make you sit and watch as she tries on every outfit she has bc she knows no matter what you'll not be paying attention bc you'll be too busy trying not to choke at how ridiculously good looking she is.
But like everyone else they get insecure and worry.
You do everything in your power to make sure they know how much you love them.
When your out they're very protective of you.
One normally holds your hand tightly and the other has their arm wrapped around your waist.
Lena's a tad more jealous than Alex but she normally had a reason for it.
Alex is always checking in on you when you're feeling under the weather being a doctor and all.
Lena normally stays at home to be sure you're alright it got to the point you just made her come and cuddle.
When you feel shitty they do everything they can to make you feel better from buying you your favourite flowers to spoon feeding you.
Movie nights are your Saturday night tradition. You're always in the middle as they cuddle into you.
Sunday morning you all have breakfast together including Kara who brings fresh french pastries.
For the holidays everyone ends up at your apartment because it's the biggest and has the most home like feel.
Your girlfriends are the best- they might over work themselves but they always carve that time out for you because they'd be lost without you.
Every night you find yourself in the middle being held by both of your girlfriends, both laying their heads in the crook of your neck.
Y'all whisper your 'I love you' to each other before you fall asleep.
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Yall know i love this survey shit<3
1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.
-finish 5 books
-lose 20 lbs
-produce more art
-travel out of the state & country
-heal my heart and love myself a lil more
2. What color are your pants?
not wearing any
3. Favorite motivational quote.
damn, there’s A L O T. prob something simple and to the point. I like “proud, but never satisfied” and “the distance between your dreams and reality is called action”
4. When was the last time you drank coffee?
yesterday; got a new french press for christmas<3
5. What was the last thing you ate?
lmao the weirdest shit. hot cheetos, some hummus, and a bar
6. Favorite animal.
soo many; always been fascinated by sharks. Elephants are up there too.
7. Favorite song.
currently anything Kid Cudi - he soothes my soul
8. Last movie you watched?
National Lampoon family vacation I think?
9. Any turn ons?
of course; im one of those gay people who gets turned on by having an emotional connection first and foremost; but if were strictly talking physical shit - any neck action is sexy af. or just taking breaks to make eye contact.
10. Any turn offs?
bad breath lol and just being a dick in general or inconsiderate
11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.
cognizant; superfluous; compelling; anguished
12. What are some meaningful movies?
First ones that come to my mind that left an impact or a meaningful message are Shawshank Redemption, Avatar, Wall-E (lol), Forest Gump
13. 2 most important people in your life right now?
Myself honestly 
14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?
Find a desk, order a blender, and form a morning routine
15. When was the last time you read a good book?
Currently reading Michelle Obama’s -Becoming; before that I read the Alchemist and it was good
16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?
I don’t
17. Do you have any nicknames?
Pollo, Hayls
18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)
Viva la Juicy, but honestly all of them - been sticking to essential oils or all natural shit lately - anything with Amber is good.
19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?
yes<3
20. What is something unique that you do every single day?
lol shower? I dont really do anything special i dont think?
21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?
“Becoming” lol because I feel like I am always growing and changing and adapting and learning and ill never just be one thing
22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?
Recently - christmas time
23. Are you a shopaholic?
no - but i just got an amazon prime account and thats game changer fa real
24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?
Love - Kid Cudi, 
25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.
Sitting in the tub (otherwise that shit is too crowded lmao)
Reading a good book
Masturbating prob?
26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?
Tropical island
27. How do you like being roused in the morning?
cuddles and soft music (prob reggae) and if i aint got shit to do a bluntttt fam
28. How was your day? What did you do?
it was ok - fighting some inner demons lately and feeling really low :/ but i got a little bit done so im giving myself a break
29. What did your last text message say?
“bye”
30. Do you respond to texts quickly?
depends on who it is lol
31. Who was the last person you called?
my mom
32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.
i wanna learn another language
I wish to be able to see more things change for the better in our world
i wish to skydive
i wish to live in another country for a while
and i wish to love myself
33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?
maybe being a host of a talk show lol
34. Winter or summer?
both
35. What is a quality that all people should have?
empathy
36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?
my inner white girl and materialistic ass says shoes - but idk i think it would also be cool to have a collection of books or photographs - ya know that sentimental shit i be on
37. What have you been thinking about lately?
wow so much - a lot of reflecting honestly about who i have been and how i’ve treated others and how i am trying to change myself - so ironically enough, i’ve also been thinking about the future and trying to focus on who i want to be and where i want to be
38. What is the secret to a happy life?
taking it day by day im sure
39. What are some phrases you say often?
“nice” lol to my clients a lot
40. Favorite food?
lately its been asian - like thai and vietnamese. fuck now i want some dumplings and curry and egg rollllz
41. List 3 wishes.
already fuckin diiiiiddd fam
42. What are some of your greatest fears?
memory loss, dying, losing others
43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
idk whats app prob
44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? 
machu picchu
45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? 
LOVE
46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?
Depends
47. Do you like to travel?
Do you know me lol
48. Any regrets?
yeah always, but i try to live my life without any and honestly id never go back and change em
49. Do you like rain?
obsessed; fav weather actually
50. What do you spend most of your money on?
food
51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?
past bc im a sentimental person; future is exciting and i like surprises and the unknown and dreaming about that shit - id rather not know.
52. Favorite clothing store?
depends - urban outfitters is my style but i like goodwill just as much
53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?
this too shall pass
54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?
honestly not often enough, i try not to over think things or it tends to give me anxiety. why worry about things that are far out of our control? I just take shit day by day
55. What angers you the most?
ignorance. and rude ass people. when someone isnt being genuine
56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?
yesterday
57. When was the last time you got really sad?
today
58. Are you good at lying?
im sure everyone is to some degree
59. What foreign language would you like to learn?
spanish
60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?
just one - semi fluent in spanish
61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?
lol 
62. What books do you plan to read this year?
not sure! I have a couple but we shall see
63. Do you have breakfast every morning?
yes i try to - its my fav meal
64. Tell us a secret.
then it wouldnt be a secret
65. How many concerts have you been to?
a few
66. Last hug?
wasnt long enough
67. Who knows you better than anyone else?
myself
68. Baths or showers?
ooooooh damn, depends
69. Do you think you’re ambitious?
i could be a little more
70. What song is stuck in your head?
lmaooo wake up in the sky by gucci mane and bruno - thats been my shit lately
71. Countries you’ve visited?
Peru, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Caymans, Philippines
72. What do you most value in your friends?
Communication and laughter
73. What helps you to sleep better?
putting my got dang phone away from me
74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?
prob like 2 grand or some shit
75. What makes you nervous?
when i over book myself or take too much on and have a lot on my plate - so time management i suppose
76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?
to live in the present moment; and to take care of myself 
77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive for sure - i dont really ever forget
78. First mobile phone?
ayyy a flip phone and it was see thru and lit up and had a walkie talkie!
79. Strangest dream?
lmao ew no im so ashamed
80. Best dream?
flying or something
81. Who is the smartest person you know?
my grandpa it seems
82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?
idk
83. Do you miss anyone right now?
very much, always
84. Who do you love? Why?
everyone, because life is too damn short for hate
85. Do you like sharing?
yeah lol bc i expect ppl to share w me in return
86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?
idk actually
87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?
yeah id like to think so
88. Favorite genre of music?
i was raised on hip hop so i feel like that is my go to but honestly i love reggae, alternative, a lil bit of electro chill shit, R&B, oldies, jazz, anything 
89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?
Understanding
90. Describe your life in 5 words.
roller coaster. fun. emotional. loving. growth.
91. Describe the world in 4 words.
crazy. beautiful. strong. vast.
92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?
skinny dip?
93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?
cocaine model - zhu
is this love - bob marley
tadow - masego
94. Are you more creative or logical?
def without a doubt 100% creative/emotional/empath/sensative/does things based on feelings rather than reason type person lmao
95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?
truth always
96. What are you most proud of?
my ability to communicate and understand people
97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?
strength/humility 
98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?
smoking a fat ass blunt doing yoga on a sunny day while its 68 degrees out and im on a beach 
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rules answer 22 questions & tag 22 people you want to know better
tagged by @katsitting
nickname(s): Em, M, Emmy, Eeeeeemma
zodiac sign: Aries (sun), Libra (moon)
height: 6′0″ 
last movie i saw: The Kid Who Would Be King (and it was so good, all I want in life is to be Merlin tbh) 
last thing i googled: what is lemon curd
favourite musician: favorites are hard for me, but right now I’m vibing with Hozier
song stuck in my head: the goddamn wii channel music & also Sweet Caroline
other blogs: my author blog is @emmafenton & I lowkey just started a wordpress fashion/food/lifestyle blog at thecontemporarian.blog 
following now: always shitposts & gucci memes, Harry Potter stuff, anything involving Tom RIddle, also Six of Crows, gorgeous aesthetics, art -- basically anything that speaks to me
followers: somewhere around 150 incredible, amazing, wonderfully talented people -- I love you all <3
do i get asks: sometimes, though I’d always be happy to get more :)
amount of sleep i get: I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 19 years, so usually between 4-6 restless hours
lucky numbers: 8
what i’m wearing: light-wash skinny jeans, asymmetric white button down that’s apparently really expensive but that i bought from goodwill for $4, a mustard yellow scarf head-band
dream job: author and travel blogger
dream trip: Nice, France -- but honestly I want to go everywhere
favourite food: ugh too many -- brie & crackers, chicken tikka masala, chocolate coconut peaks, maryland crab cakes, black bean tacos, I could go on and on about how much I love food oh my god
instruments: The piano is the only one I play well. I know a little clarinet, a little recorder, and very little guitar.
languages: I only currently speak English fluently. I know enough Spanish and French to get by (though it’s an absolute train wreck), and just a touch of Italian and Russian.
favourite songs: This will probably change in a week, but here’s 5 I love right now in no particular order
River -- by Bishop
Movement -- by Hozier
Teir Abhaile Rui -- by Celtic Woman
Hotter than Hell -- by Dua Lipa
Family Affair -- by Mary J. Blige
random fact: I’m notoriously bad (read: great) at telling bedtime stories. My college roommate used to ask for them all the time at like 2 am. Some of the classics are Ed Sheeran & the 3 Sheep (a retelling of Goldilocks wherein Ed really just wanted some good weed & the anthropomorphic sheep keep other sheep as farm animals), The Prince Who’s Father Was Definitely Not a Sheep-Shagger (yes, I know there might be a theme here), and the story that ultimately turned into Throne of Shadows, but which originally featured Peryn (the demon) as a universe hopping, soulless real-estate agent (still a demon though).
aesthetic: about to do a hostile takeover of your fortune 500 company, loves a sharp pantsuit, minimalist everything, resting murder face (apparently), not sure if actually psychic or just really really good at reading people, 75% of closet is black
This was super fun, but I’m too lazy to tag anyone (sorry). BUT, if you want to do it, then *boom* I’ve tagged you. Congrats. 
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