#thats how it feels right now

[dragonroilz]

IM GONNA LOAD ALL OVER THE PLACE

#risk of rain 2 #risk of rain #ror2 #ror #ror2 loader #my art #yeah sorry guys im a little unhinged right now #yknow that thing where the twilight creator made a genderswapped version of twilight #and everyone was like “i get it now” #thats how i feel with rorr loader #anyways #i hate drawing loader with the exoskeleton #even though i designed this one its no different to all of the other exoskeletons #one day loader will be the character ive drawn the least #for the simple reason that this exoskeleton makes me want to commit warcrimes #and not the fun ones

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[brainrotisseriechicken]

hi....scrapped wip again. im rlly not built for color. yap incoming

sorry my productivity tanked my 7 year old laptop is nearing its final breath and im just stalling buying a new one as long as possible to not violate the boycott but she (laptop) is making this shit DIFFICULT

im gnna be so honest w yall i havent had the drive to do shit all lately like. i need dopamine kicks to function but nothings working for some reason ??? i bought a jjk book and i fucking love jjk so i should be excited but im ??? not????? fucked up how that works

#scp #scp fanart #illustration #dr clef #dr kondraki #clefdraki #scp fandom #scp foundation #fanart #not feeling so cash money rn chat #i have so many responsibilities rn but i cant muster up the want to do anything right now #monke brain needs its dopamine signals n when i go out of my way to do something and feel nothing afterwards its like #???? #like what the hell #i love these assholes though #funny thing actually a family member tried to kill me once and i was just really sad i couldn't make more clefdraki art #i dont know how long thats staying in the tags LMAOOO #i dont know how long this ones staying up either but whateva #fuck it we ball #don't suggest drugs by the way i don't even have the drive for that #unfinished art #would anyone b interested in balefire art ...... #i say as if id finish anything at all

[monarch-moon]

Manifesting the ultimate match of my dreams: Performance vs Grandma

I can't be the only one who imagines these matchups as a shounen anime tournament arc, right??

@bestestspirit

#sky cotl #sky children of the light #sky children of light #performance guide #belonging guide #belonging grandma #sky grandma #I could've done this with cannoneer cuz thats how it feels like right now but the mental image with grandma came first so I'm doing that #no matter who wins tho I'm just happy grandma will be at the finals tehe #EDIT: HOLY SHIT THEY WON WE CAN HAVE OUR DREAM MATCH #btw grandma sweep she deserves to annihilate them I'm sorry performance guide

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

whats that joe iconis? you want *me* to be in charge of the jeremy outfits from now on?? well if you insist....

#ngl i dont think he would have the confidence to wear anytihng like this til hes like 23 but #um have you considered what if he did and he got to be fluffy and express himself right now #like have you thought about that ////lh #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #jeremy bmc #be more chill #bmc #my art #my posts #jeremy #art #wuuujer #posts #<- thats me making a tag for my own jeremy dont worry about it sldjkfdslkf #hes converging with flint lockwood now i really have to backpedal #i wanna do a closeup of his and michaels phone cases i think michael would bully him #btw my headcanon for his queerness in this image is he just opened the possibility of identifying as something other than cishet #and is like oooh i might be aro and nonbinary or something #may or may not be true in the long run but thats how he feels now!!

[underwittingly]

to the throat

#drarry #my art #harry potter #draco malfoy #man ive no context for this art #i just think there is something inherently homoerotic about putting a weapon to ones throat #like why are you standing so close? thats crazy do you want to fuck me or something #ok i feel like i need to revamp my draco design #i keep on forgetting harrys glasses... oh #man you have no idea how much i want to be in harry's position right now like i wanna caress draco's cheek gently and stroke his hair #and sing him a lullaby #welcome to episode 24749199 of me being in love with draco lucius malfoy #u can tell there's a favourite right #harry's outfit never changes #WAIT HARRY IS LEFT HANDED... ok whatever idc him #next time i will draw middle part draco (real)

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.

#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333 #also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random #20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either #meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people #always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it #for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu #does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected #haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway #(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible) #anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either #i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #dojima daigo #like a dragon #daigo dojima #ykz #i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now #gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient #anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love #also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu #uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM #yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig #skrunkart

[atthebell-moved]

i think this is interesting bc to me in a way it signifies a new direction of like. fighting against the federation has done nothing for them. the federation will always beat them unless they gain enough power or information to truly overthrow them, and at this time, with everyone's morale basically down the toilet with the eggs missing, they don't have the will let alone the intel and power needed for a true revolt. so for now, they set that fight aside in favor of other things. getting the eggs back, for one, and finding out what it was that took them. and maybe, someday, when they finally have enough pieces of the puzzle and enough strength behind them, they can take on the feds. it's like a season turn where they have to give up on the series big bad to fight the villain of the season

#bell.txt #qsmp #idk at least thats how it feels right now from cellbits pov #yesterday was not a victory thats for sure

[coldgpa]

I'm saying Joseph quinn purposely made eddie gay on his own accord. Like I think he read the script and saw exactly what we saw

#i think he was knowingly trying to make eddie come off as a gay man #looking at how he chose to play out scenes with joe keery i feel like he was doing something #he has played multiple gay roles goddamnit! #he had to have known what he was doing... #and thats why it was unintentionally a bury your gays too doe 😀 #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers #steddie #eddie munson #stranger things #and i dont think its that far fetched bc literally maya hawke and joe keery and the reason why robin is a lesbian #joseph quinn #edit: i cant believe i was right #i knew... from just analyzing the body lanaguage he choose to use in scenes with joe keery 🤨 #but my suspicions were truly confirmed once i heard joe quinn improvised that big boy line #and now... real confirmation #i knew #that interview... he literally was trying to convey eddie as liking steve thru body language

[comfortfrogblog]

“everyone is capable of experiencing goodness and joy. not me th-“ *EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

#OH BUT YOU ARE!!!!! YOU ARE!!! i literally prommy #i do NOT prommy if i dont mean it👍 #it fluctuates and it wont always be there bc thats how life and adversity is but it’s THERE!!! #it’s there in the cracks and crevices of your silly little life #it’s in the girl at the mall who looked you in the eyes and smiled #it’s in the baby that stares at you like you hold all the warmth and love in the universe #it’s in the tiny victories like ‘i drank water today’ ‘i woke up today’ ‘i was okay with myself today’ #it’s in the laughter experienced by people around you even if you dont feel like you can participate where you’re at #it’s in your favorite songs and your favorite color and your favorite food and your favorite animal and your favorite blanket and #and it’s in your favorite hobby your favorite outfit your favorite type of bug your favorite tree #and it’s in that safe place you have whether that is the corner of your room or your bed or the bathroom or your floor or wherever it is #the goodness sits there and it sinks in and it doesn’t go away even when you forget it’s there because of all the bad things overshadowing i #it #the goodness sinks its claws into you and sometimes you cannot help but be in awe #maybe you do not feel it right now #but it is there #and i promise that someday you will find it wherever it is resting #cathy says words #comfort #important

[b4kuch1n]

weather's turnin' cold

transcript

#pokemon #swsh #champion leon #assisant sonia #gym leader raihan #three parts of a whole idiot #hi hello! hi. wow I have NO energy recently #got sick 1.5 times. made two cakes of various levels of deflated. walked a lot. slept SO much #and the weather is indeed cooling here! in fact a storm is hitting central vietnam right now #and I uh. I dont think its gonna affect the north a lot. but thats a good thing. I do not envy the folks down there at all... #gonna keep an ear on the ground for them. hope it's all gonna turn out rather uneventful #meanwhile. I draw little comic #this is how I (chronically tropical person) feel whenever I see snow and bare skin in the same frame #it's honestly a bit funny to me always that postwick is southmost and wyndon is like. the center of the north #forest imps leon and sonia vs city slicker raihan. and now temperate beautiful weather children leon and sonia vs #hail/snow/windstorm/humidity rotate raihan #raihan's childhood dream of seeing torrential rain outside and saying 'hm no. I think not' and weather manip hammerlocke into dryness #these are not textual impressions I do not fucking remember how the weather is in in-game hammerlocke. I just think itd be funny #also my brain was doing donuts around like. leon being exasperated at raihan's bare legs every winter #until he went on T and by age 16 he's like oh. oh I get it #(that doesnt last long he's still a frostbait southerner. u see the leggings. u know how it is) #okay. I'll doodle some stuff and transcribe this tomorrow. now I sleep #have a good night lads! bundle up

[birdricks]

ok heres this. how i interpreted his fears at least

#rnm spoilers #most of them r said pretty plainly but whatever LOL i love lists #interesting how u can see mortys Main fear of relying on rick right from the start #not sure abt the ‘rick putting them in danger one’ #its in tbat little loop of Rick Fears #which im not quite sure what to make of. so thats the closest i can get #its definitely smth hes doen a lot. so theres that #SCARY IMPLICATIONS of morty having overcome his reliance on rick. or at least his fear of it #like in conquering the hole alone hes realised he doesnt really Need rick. #like maybe one day therell be a time he gets in trouble and rick Wont bail him out. or cant. but hes ok w that now? #hmmmm. intersting. very curious to see where that goes #themost painful one for me is being responsible for ricks sadness #liek thsts so fucking rough. #GETTING PERSONAL…. like i know how it feels to be a kid and feel responsible for the emotions of adults. it sucks balls #itd be interesting to see if All of these fesrs have been conquered or just the reliance one

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard? #i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug? #i would. a million times over. #anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

[void-chara]

My gift for the @technoblade-gift-exchange !! i was assigned to @simplepotatofarmer who asked for dsmp rivals duo. i hope you like it Loyal!

rambling about headcanons, designs, and my process and stuff under the readmore, because i wanna talk about it but dont want the post to be super long !!

i had originally planned to not have a background and then at the last second i decided to speedrun drawing one in a few hours so um. quality difference but its fine. also unrelated but im pretty sure everything about how i draw animals and anthros makes it very obvious i used to be in the warrior cats fandom lol. anyway onto the designs!!

the gold on techno is scars from the totem at the execution, which i think is a pretty common thing for techno designs. he isnt supposed to be a piglin, but rather similar species of anthropomorphic pig. also his mane and tail fluff are naturally brown but he dyes them pink ^_^ so cool !! um. i maaayyy have forgotten the crown until i was way too far into the piece to add it. haha. oops. pretend its missing because. uuh. hes in a casual outfit. "but he still has the cape" yeah its comfy. "but dream has a mask thats not casual" dream is dream he does Not relax fully ever. see entirely intentional i would never make a mistake.

dream is an original shapeshifter species i came up with because i couldnt decide what i wanted him to be. i havent decided on a name for the species yet but i plan to make almost every solid-color or nearly solid color mcyt into this species. theyre mostly involuntary/unconscious shapeshifters. so like they change slowly over weeks or months to adapt to their surroundings, with little conscious control. basically i wanted him to be like five different things so i shoved them together lol, rabbit ears but in a pattern that looks like an axolotl, a cool tail, TOE BEANS tho you cant see them. this was actually the first time ive ever had a dream design im happy with so thats really nice.

i um. i made full use of my time lol, i spent a bit over a week on the lineart, another week on the coloring, and maybe a week and a half on rendering. unless i suddenly became shit at math(which is possible) that adds up to roughly the amount of time i had to work on it. im really proud of myself actually since i usually take a while to do art, and i wasnt sure i would be able to make something id be happy with in this amount of time. but i did! woah!! this was my first time participating in a fandom gift exchange and it was so fun, and also helped motivate me to draw more instead of getting distracted like i usually do (classic adhd moment) lol. anyway super cool!!

Loyal if u decided to read all this for some reason then again i really hope u like it!! u are so cool and i really love ur rivals duo opinions and creations so i hope u like this! i know theres been shit happening lately, i hope ur doing ok!!

#technoblade #dreamwastaken #rivals duo #dream smp #dreblr #technogiftexchange #<- thats the tag right? #also wow i think i said too many words. i dont think anyone else rambled that much about their gift. um. in my defense the only thing more #powerful than my written language learning disorder is my adhd and autism. so. yeah. lots of words. #aaaaaa i feel like how i wrote everything is so awkward. i am just a creature imitating others i have no idea how to interact with people.. #hmmm. posting now before anxiety gets the better of me! #edit: wait fuck i forgot my art tag. how do i ALWAYS forget my art tag. #chara makes things

[anastacialy]

i do not know how to explain to people that "transmisogyny" is the specific transphobia that trans women + transfems face (often but not exclusively at the hands of cis people), and "transandrophobia" is the specific transphobia that trans men + mascs face (often but not exclusively at the hands of cis people), and that they all come together under the umbrella of "transphobia." these are not opposing concepts nor are they mutually exclusive, to believe in one does not mean non-belief in the other. is there a simpler way of phrasing this. can i be clearer.

#i can't handle that post that's going around accusing everyone who acknowledges the existence of transadrophobia of being a transmisogynist #i want to scream i want to peel my skin off thats not how this works that's not how any of this works #in fact one might imagine that understanding the nuances of all different types of transphobia might make you a better ally to trans women! #what a shock! #to understand that bioessentialism can harm trans women and trans men and nonbinary people and and and #im so tired. the hate campaigns are horrifying and the blatant and aggressive removal of trans women + transfems blogs is AWFUL and specifi #this falls under transmisogyny! we can acknowledge and understand that #right? right! #but that in no way just makes it trans men + mascs fault?? they are NOT the (only - there are cruel people in every demographic) people #who are mass reporting innocent transfem's blogs #it's TERFs and transmisogynists #if we have the nuance to understand that not every transmisogynist is a TERF then we can understand that not everyone who #acknowledges that transandrophobia is real is. a transmisogynist?! hello?? am i alive right now. am i currently living and breathing?? #genuinely reading that post doesn't feel real. that is so far from reality i'm nauseated. #txtly #i genuinely don't know how this can be made any clearer. #i'm tired. idk