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#thats not supposed to be the right order but tumblr is being weird.
cryptotheism · 4 months
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wtf even is hermeticism? I heard of a comic book that showcases hermeticism, and it turns out it was mostly cabala and some stuff about higher dimensions, and the fuzzy line between stories and reality.
The thing about the fuzzy line between stories and reality cropped up in a youtuber's analysis of a different comic book series that revolved around hermeticism, like empowering yourself by telling a story.
Is it like, tricking reality into being a different way by acting on the basis of the Nous?? Is that how Hermes Trismegistus became a god, by ascending to and becoming one with the Nous/Monad/whatever?
If he never existed, the stories about him created him, on the basis of the Nous?
Hermetica is a body of ancient texts attributed to Legendary Sage Hermes Trismegistus. They're extremely difficult to date, and you see guesses anywhere from the 4th century BCE to the 4th century CE.
Hermeticism is quite eclectic. It exists as a blend of Greek, Egyptian, and Jewish, and other north-African mythologies and philosophies all rolled into one. The important thing to remember, is that Trismegistus is portrayed as being the source of all wisdom ever forever. All knowledge came from him. Everything cool or interesting about Egyptian, Greek, or Jewish theology is supposed to be his doing.
Hermeticism is a blend of several different religious currents that would be difficult to summarize in a tumblr post, but Hermetic doctrine is honestly less important than HOW Hermeticism syncretizes these disparate currents into a single theology. Its VERY good at sniffing out similarities between theologies, and gluing them together. Additionally, it really likes math. Hermeticism is really good at using math and science to reinforce its mythology.
So when people say "Hermetic" they generally mean one of three things:
1 - Classical Hermetica, as in the ancient body of work attributed to Hermes Trismegistus.
2 - Renaissance Hermetica. The theology was lost for a hot minute, and reintroduced to Europe in the 15th century via a weird Italian named Ludovico Lazzarelli. This was the first guy to identify as a "Hermetic Christian." (There were also some Islamic mystics around the 8th-10th century who really liked Hermetica, but they're oddballs even by the standards of Islamic mystics. #isma-ilimoment)
3 - "Neo-Hermeticism" This is the version of Hermetica that came back in the 17th-18th century. This is where you got folks like the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, who rediscovered just how good Hermetic theology was as a conceptual mortar. They just went hog-wild with it. That's where you get "Hermetic Quabbala." Europe at the time had just seen an explosion of interest in ancient Egypt, and thats why a lot of Quabbalistic texts have a bunch of Egyptian stuff.
So the stuff about higher dimensions and the lines between reality and fiction? That sounds like 1970s Chaos Magic, which itself was highly influenced by Hermetica, specifically Neo-Hermeticism.
As for the nature of Trismegistus himself, even classical Hermetica has like nine different backstories for him. Depending on the text, hes Hermes, Thoth, a combination of Hermes and Thoth, a normal sage who was very wise, a man who achieved godhood, the tutor of Moses, etc, etc. There's no set mythology for Trismegistus beyond "Legendary Sage of Sages."
I'm gonna plug my patreon here because I'm writing about Trismegistus in an alchemical context on Patreon right now.
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og-danny-dorito · 2 years
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hello I hope you are well 🌹 I don't know if the orders are open but I can order a request of how the Turks would react when they find out that their partner the reader is a vampire?
they are! sorry about the late response i kind of forgot that tumblr had an ask box feature ^^; i'll only do 3 since i cant do all of them at once, but i can do more later if you'd like. hope you enjoy!
𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚅𝚊𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
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𝚃𝚆: HUGE TW FOR BLOOD, brief suggestive content, slut shaming reno (affectionate)
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𝚁𝚎𝚗𝚘:
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"Haha, very funny Y/n. Vampires aren't real, everyone knows that."
doesn't beleive you at first 💀
i mean why would he?? NO ONE thinks vampires exist. thats kind of the reason you've been able to survive for so long
you expected this response though,, and after a few minutes of convincing him that you're being dead fucking serious- you are a vampire -he seems to get a little... pale.
as in he looks genuinely fucking terrified
thing is- he's actually had a fear of vampires since he was a little kid??
im being so serious he was like,, genuinely terrified of them as a kid and hasn't ever fully gotten over it
i mean- its not a completely irrational fear to have, but how is he supposed to say that to you?? that he's terrified of your species and thinks you're all human mosquitos who prey on people in the night?
you almost regret telling him considering you've seen the look on his face a million times with others you've told, but it doesn't make seeing it on him any easier
part of the reason you loved him so much was because he made you feel normal for once in your life- like you belonged
and you almost feel like you've fucked that up for yourself as he looks at you, fears obviously turning in his head to try and formulate what to say
but before you can get any words out in apology he speaks up, taking in a deep breath beforehand to steady himself and looking you dead in the eye
"If... if you're being serious right now, then this doesn't change anything."
huh??
you blink at him a few times and he seems nervous when you tilt your head, a silent queue to elaborate
"It doesn't change how I feel about you. I still love you. Plus, at least you're not a werewolf. I hate dogs."
you both laugh at his comment and the air lightens up a little bit, and it seems that he was telling the truth about it not changing how he feels about you
i mean he's a little more conscious about what might be safe for you and what not be (like doing outside right before the sun goes down, making sure you have a good supply of food even though it makes him a little squeamish, stuff like that) but overal he treats you the same
expect mosquito or vampire jokes though. he already made shitty jokes but with your vampirism in mind he's going to be a fucking menace 💀💀💀
would probably be okay with you feeding on him but he might enjoy it a little TOO much and might not hide that he wants you to feed on him very well (dudes walking around with his shirt half open all the time but he gets sluttier trust me)
𝚃𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚐:
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"..."
HELP HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
for a second he thinks you're just messing with him and he's not catching it but he's pretty sure you're being serious and he's just ???
i mean it is kind of a weird situation, and why else would you pull him aside to talk privately when you knew he was working??
hes always been really perspective, but he's also very logical and so he passed the signs you were trying to hide off as something else
but now that you've told him and you dont look like you're joking in the sligtes, the dots start to connect
it explains why you hated going out during the day so much, and why when you DID go out you wore insane amounts of sunscreen and always wore covering clothing (he thought you just had sensitive skin tbh)
it explains why you barely every touched the food the two of you sat down to eat together. and why you didn't seem to like silver things that much. and why crucifixes bothered you. and why-
you get the idea
anyway he kinda just stares at you for a few seconds like he's just taking a second to process the information, but after a little bit (a lot a bit) of mutual silence he eventually speaks up and leans back in his chair
"Well, I'm not happy that you didn't tell me sooner."
you sigh in relief even though you'd probably have to explain why you felt like it was unsafe int he first place later, but for now you just felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders
tseng is already very attentive to your needs, and he approaches this new revelation like any sort of new information and treats it systematically since its how he deals with p much everything in his life
makes sure that you have an ample supply of food since he knows hunting can be a struggle sometimes, and he doesn't want you to catch any diseases (if vampires can even do that)
i dont think he'd be as open as reno to the idea, but that's mainly cause he's a bit nervous about the whole process and doesn't know the intricacies of it
he trusts you though, so he doesn't have a problem with you feeding on him when you're in a bind or need a little snack here and there
𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚊:
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"Oh, for real?"
she doesn't even bat an eye
yeah she believes you since she knows you'd never lie to her even though it is really outlandish
i mean, she says crazy shit all the time and you believe her so who is she to judge? that and she already knew
yeah even though she's kinda airheaded sometimes doesn't mean she's stupid. you're not very good at hiding your vampirism babe (her words exactly)
i mean she already had a vibe from the beginning anyway. you have that aura about you, you know??
she doesn't have a problem with it though. if anything she's actually really excited about it!!
if you've been alive for a long time she'd love to hear about all the things you might've seen and experienced and asks a lot of questions about it since she's only ever watched movies about it
if you have a darker style she makes an effort to match it so you don't feel as alienated considering she would think that you'd already feel kind of set apart from others because of your vampirism and wants to make sure you feel included
if your style is lighter or somewhere in the middle then that's usually where she falls, so it won't be out of the ordinary (she already makes you wear matching outfits with her so its not much of a difference LOL)
she's cool with it though!! i think she'd be WAY too enthusiastic about letting you feed on her since she's curious about it but would get grossed out by the sight of her own blood LMAO
[ 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 :) ]
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wrestlezon · 1 year
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(hell yeah. heres a whole post blogging about my blog. i hope you like introspective words. if not... then definitely dont click that readmore)
I posted 3,572 times in 2022
That's 3,572 more posts than 2021!
(well... a respectable amount... for this being the first year of Blog Existing)
370 posts created (10%)
3,202 posts reblogged (90%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
pepsitwist
dogcollarpunk
hoodyhoo
allelitewrestlings
(3 people with the best tastes on the site and a fantastic sourced aew content blog. hell yea ofc these were my most reblogged blogs)
I tagged 3,533 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
(oh no. where are they. where are these 40 untagged posts?? how could i leave them BARREN... NO... THEYRE LOST... OUT IN THE COLD...)
#chuck taylor - 576 posts
#orange cassidy - 570 posts
#cm punk - 500 posts
#fanart - 406 posts
#p - 291 posts
#trent beretta - 229 posts
#talkzon - 221 posts
#mjf - 220 posts
#jon moxley - 201 posts
#eddie kingston - 198 posts
(ah yes my top 3 favorite wrestlers. chuck, orange, cm punk. of course. LMAO. funnily enough the pipeline for me was in that exact reverse order... punk vs eddie got me watching the show, then i saw an orange match and was like hey thats fun and cool, then i was like hold up... whos that weird-cute guy who hangs out with him sometimes... and now here i am. with incurable chuck taylor brain worms.)
(ok. actually the story is a bit more ironic than that but if i get too openly genuine on here i'll break out in hives sooooo moving on)
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#excalibur said something last friday along the lines of ''hes not willing to team up with danhausen yet'' which made me laugh out loud. ''ye
(my tag got cut off... i think this is before xkit rewritten added the ''tag too long'' alert for the quicktags thing. i dont even remember what the rest of it was supposed to be... this was on a gifset of the hook birthday chips incident)
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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thank you aew broadcast team for the instant replay alternate angle on wardlow's very cool pin
295 notes - Posted July 13, 2022
(...i liked wardlow better when he was a vaguely amoral henchman guy but i can appreciate A Very Cool Pin)
#4
"One word to describe me? GAY"
295 notes - Posted October 17, 2022
(the people need to know. they need to know max caster is an entertaining and somewhat unhinged weirdo)
#3
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listen. look. i need you to understand. look at this.
SLOUCHED. HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK. HEAD BENT DOWN. cm punk spends most of his promo at this point AVOIDING EYE CONTACT. he never even holds the goddamn mic!!! punk is posturing SO hard to appear as a small harmless creature. so much smaller than hangman.
which he factually ISNT. i mean, look at how he looks when he stands up straight, when he isn't trying to put on an appearance.
See the full post
325 notes - Posted May 26, 2022
(oh noooo lmaoooo not my overly excited cm punk theory-effortpost... embarrassing...... even more embarrassing in hindsight... u_u "wow theyre doing such a good job of working together to tell this fictional story of conflict and antagonism! such acting! such subtlety! wait. what. no. are you guys mad for real. what the")
#2
See the full post
389 notes - Posted June 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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how im feeling about that upcoming dog collar match
752 notes - Posted March 5, 2022
(honestly the most shocking part of this was seeing people out in the wild think this was where the sickos meme came from? which doesnt even make sense chronologically?? sickos has been around forever!!! and the original comic is so good. i am not deserving of kartoonist kelly's onion comic clout i am just a wrestle blog)
(also. i have to say. getting into wrestling right as the cmjf feud started was such a mistake... it set the bar too high... wrestling is not normally Like That... ;~;)
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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lostacelonnie · 4 months
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Ah hell my bad i did get. Really busy & really tired the end of year holidays are busy & really draining. I am a sea person but im glad that resonates with non sea people too. People try & talk to you often there? I dont know a whole section of verb conjugation so im not sure how id do there. Fried bread & cinnamon sugar what a peak combination thank you churros. Same i need to pick up more spanish food recipes. Oh? Thats a good start actually. Knowing simple stuff like eggs or grilled cheese or uh. Chicken noodle soup are good baselines. I mean. Yeah same to a degree. I turn them on when im reading or walking/going places. Keeps me focused. Mag is good. Same with nightvale & alice isnt dead. Thats some solid luck kudos to everyone for not getting attacked by gulls. Id wonder about that too australia seems. Nice but very weird. Like their one prime minister who walked into the ocean & disappeared. Kudos to her for finding one she likes & gets along with enough to move there. Ah nothin like light hearted roasting among friends love that for you. Oh jeesh thats like my geometry teacher i had once. Dude would get distracted & then skip stuff he was supposed to help us learn. & still test us on it. Had a different math teacher help me sometimes because he was better at teaching. Hell yeah english teacher for the save. She sounds cool. I dont have time for meta so like. Why bother when if something works it works? Oh is honkai meta that hard? Do i need to focus on that on the way through the story? Oh thats way better like star rail having a pick your own on standard after x amount of pulls. What genshin's fate system could be if it was good. Hmm im not sure where even to start. I guess about himeko. Like her place in the story & what her story in hi3 is. Since i doubt its similar to in hsr. Hell she does have that vibe doesnt she? Chill piracy milf in a way. I hope she becomes playable. A thirty minite backstory? Must be a heck of a joke. Or because of all the polish nuance. Thanks! Ill have to see how she plays of course but personality wise she's good. Fontaine has killed it with interesting characters. Oh? Why the screen limit is it a doctors orders thing? & no worries about that life hit me hard so i understand. Ah thanks im getting to where gear matters a bit so ill need that luck. Need to up talents & such more though. Makes sense then but damn 4 pm as the other option? Both of those aren't super great. I live close to my work which is nice but i still have to wake up 2 hours before for early days because otherwise i wont wake i am not a morning person. 4 am? Hell mad respect for that i could never im barely a person some days at that hour i definitely wouldnt be. Oh nice congrats! On the exam & the history memes. At least your friends are becoming nerds with you. Important group activity. Im caught up on show & manga releases but i do need to read the spin off still when i can find it. Claire has protag rights to one name
AH ITS OK i just. Dont trust tumblr to function properly AJSKFJJH. but ah wishing you some time to chill soon. i understand tho since its the end of the first semester in my school so literally every teacher is trying to squeeze in as many tests as possible. yeah sjdkfkkskdf thats one thing everyone can agree on i suppose!! and it really is like that!! the stereotype about spanish people being seemingly All Extroverted is. much more true than i expected it to be. especially when compared to poland where everyone just more or less minds their own business. and not knowing the language that well proved to be less of an issue than i thought actually!! as in. i do Not speak spanish very well but through a series of trial and error combined with a lot of gesticulation i managed to communicate well enough. AND FOR REAL good lird. they were so right for that. and thanks!! i can more or less follow intermediate recipes so i can Survive more or less. and ahh thats fair, i unfortunately cant really listen to stuff outside my house as i only own headphones and not earphones and i dont like being Completely disconnected from the sound around me when im not at home. but very understandable. ANYWAY YEAH AUSTRALIA IS. A PLACE. i heard about that one prime minister yeah..... wild...... and yeah ajdkfjg me and my friends have been dissing each other for a Long time since i did the same thing in my previous school. always fun. AND AOUGH I FEEL YOU i have. a Lot of teachers like that. but eh im pretty decent at studying on my own [if i find the energy.....] so its managable. with math teachers too actually which is very funny bc last year we had this one teacher [we called her The Brick] who just. did not explain Anything just start doing exercises on the board and then be disappointed when we didnt understand anything. so obviously we were very happy to hear that were gonna have a different one EXCEPT??? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT???? LIKE GENUINELY SHE DOES SOMETHING ON THE BOARD THREE TIMES AND EACH TIME ITS SOLVED INCORRECTLY. IN A DIFFERENT WAY. ah well. but yes my english teacher is very epic. if nobody got me i know she got me can i get an amen. and exactly i agree with you!! as in. i like when theres a Big Number so i try to more or less build my chars but im not gonna wreck my sanity doing the same domain over and over again. the honkai meta however IS pretty hard so i try to keep up with that. but im much less excited for part 2 so when it drops im probs gonna focus on gearing the chars i already have instead of pulling the new ones since you can do anything with a good support and i have. pretty good supports [HERRSCHER OF TRUTH FOR THE WIN]. id generally recommend Not Completely Ignoring it yeah. tho i did and still managed to pull myself out, but it wasnt a pleasant experience [god. superstring dimension with ungeared teams. Augh.] so. yeah. AND RIGHT???? honkais meta may be painful but the gacha sure is not. I WILL GET INTO HIMEKOS STORY BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A SEC SO ILL JUST PUT IT UNDER A READMORE AND ALSO BEWARE OF VERY VERY VERY HEAVY SPOILERS. since im not exactly sure in what point of the story youre in. AND YEAH shes just. chillen. and the joke is [linguistic rant incoming] actually not That long [i just love hyperboles] although there is one joke that is Actually pretty hard to explain. anyway what i wanted to say is that she has ESSA which. first of all this is slang but its slightly outdated slang [which, of course, doesnt stop me from using it] and it just. well when you say someone has essa it means theyre like. chill in a cool way. cool in a chill way. but also essa itself can be used like. hm. for example if you manage to do sth, say, pass an exam, and you wanna say you did it and also it wasnt very hard?? you can just say NO I ESSA. its not quite translatable into english but needless to say i shall now begin using it. AND YEAH FR rare occurence where genshin made me actually care about male characters. as in. i love furina forever but neuvilette has actually proven to be someone i like as well.
[once again. tumblr forcing me to do a paragraph break] his autistic swag has captivated me. and yeah ajdfkgjsj as it turns out im both farsighted and have astigmatism so i should be limiting my computer usage...... its ok tho im trying to get into traditional art more and also studying is easier. so Its Joekay. ahhhhhh talents are such a pain to level up.... i just never have enough stuff for them seemingly. yeah my history classes have godawful times good lird. and we actually do less material bc of that since our teacher just refuses to do anything on the 6pm classes and just does twice the material in the monday block instead. i love my life. fair enough tbh, i picked up an ADDITIONAL 7am class bc its not mandatory and was close to disbanding but my classbestie really likes it so i joined to make it less likely to fall apart but ah. im regretting my decision. but at least the teacher is nice so. AND FOR REAL i do not understand where they get their energy from. or the dedication. ESPECIALLY for this godforsaken school. and ah thankies!!!! and good luck with catching up!!! i LOVE the manga sm omg...... im also very excited for the anime since the love scale arc is starting today and its my favorite........ big hype. and ah i started playing noita recently!!!! very fun i love games that are engineered to hurt me personally
ANYWAY. ONTO THE HIMEKO LORE
i Should mention that im not an expert on himeko lore BUT ill do my best hehehe. however i will reiterate that heavy spoilers ahead, especially for chapter 9.
SO himekos backstory is revealed in the alien space manga [which, admittedly, i read only because i found out shub niggurath appears by the end and i love niggurath] but it goes more or less like this. i wont go into detail about what Exactly happened because truth be told this is a pretty long manga and i simply do not have the motivation to do an Entire Summary but basically. when she was in university, her father, who was working for schicksal and also the host of an Actual Literal Alien kiiiiiind of went berserk [without her knowledge, of course] and welt had to Kill Him. which is pretty bad because they knew each other and were Kinda friends. anyway since her mother was already dead and she was infected with honkai at the time, this caused her to join schicksal! of course, the entire time kept in the dark about what exactly happened to her father. so when she was in schicksal, she was in the squad let by ragna lothbrok, who also ended up dying in action, and himeko ended up in saint freya. she also made bianka join schicksal! so anyway this is where we get to the main story. i wont go into chapter chiyou bc im gonna be honest i remember Nothing from chronicles. but she was kiana and the others from the main squad mentor, guiding them through their journey as valkyries. when kiana awoke as the herrscher of the void during the void arc, she was also Actively Dying from honkai poisoning [since valkyrie gear uses the honkai in it but she had pretty low natural resistance to it]. fu hua gives her an antidote that Could save her life but, during the final lesson, she uses it to temporarily seal the herrscher of the void so that kiana can live on. and dies in the process. i cry watching it to THIS DAY. but himeko remains as somewhat of an Afterlife Guide to the end of the series, appearing as flashbacks and visions in the chapter 11 ex cg, meteoric salvation, like an entire section of set tomorrow ablaze, everlasting flames, and graduation trip. to summarize, I LOVE HER AND WILL CRY ABOUT HER AGAIN. AOUGGGHH. she actually means so much to me you have no idea you have NO idea
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spitefulsatanwrites · 2 years
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unclean, overcooked
unclean, overcooked
pairing ; Sebastian Michaelis x female!reader
warings ;  none! just fluff
summary ;  Y/N stands up to Sebastian and.. he likes it?
"boy-o, this isn't looking good"  Bardroy grumbled, cigerette hanging from his tight lipped frown, he stared down at the burnt meat cutlets in front of him alongside you, his eyes full of regret and a twig of fear, "sebastian's gonna right kill me.." he added after another moment of thought in silence, and like clock work the tip tapping of his hard laced butler casual shoes coming down the hall way made them both jump, "oh, no." you mumbled, covering your mouth with a gentle gloved hand and turing away your head to look at the idiotic chef
Sebastian was already in a sour mood that day, he was on edge and nobody, not even ciel, knew why, there were guests set to be arriving for a dinner in an hour and he was barking orders at the clumsy staff left and right and Y/N being in charge of those said clutz was the most resonsible of them all and you was taking all the heat from him all day and you were just about to explode if one more damned thing went wrong.
"Damn It, Bardroy!" you spat, slamming a hand down on the counter as you heard the footsteps drawing closer to the massive kitchen, the tall blonde man jumped slightly at your tone, he'd never seen you so tense, "The meat just wasn't cookin' fast enough so.. I used me' trusty flamethrower-" you cut him off quickly, "if you burn everything, fool, then is it really trusty?"
"I have to deal with this now!" you snapped again and flipped around just as Sebastian walked through the double doors, that same 'monotone' look on his face, like he just didn't care about a single thing that was happening, "I thought I smelled something off, did we have another Mishap, Miss Y/N?" he asked, but it wasnt that simple, it wasn't just a question, it was a taunt, his way of saying 'I knew you couldn't do this' and god did it piss you off ever so much.
"Yes.. Sebastian, My apologies I-" but sebastian wasn't going to hear it, he knew you prided yourself off of being a good housekeeper and keeping those foolish crew members at bay and off his back, "I dont have time for simple excuses." was all he allowed you, moving around you to look down at the burnt meats, "but.. Ill fix this like i always do, I suppose."
your eyebrows flew up quicker then the words could leave his mouth, what he said, it wasn't even that harmful, that truly ruthless, but it still stung, you worked so hard and he pitied you like a lost child or something, knowing even he couldn't control those three dorks.
"Excuses? the excuse is this absoulte disgraceful crew I have working for me, they aren't properly trained for a job like this and.. thats saying something seeing as you are the one in charge of training them, no?" you was almost as surpised at the words you blurted as he was and you could tell by the look on his face he was astonished, you'd never taken such a tone with him before
he recovered quickly though, his arms folding over his chest gently, gracefully, a small smile spreading over his pale lips, "is that so?.. I suppose it truly is." he let out a soft snicker and looked back to the cowering chef, "Bardroy, go clean up the mess you made, me and Y/N can finish up from here, I need the help of a.. Proper housekeep." his words were professinal at the surface but you knew that they were simply more, just in his own, weird, Sebastian way.
send requests :)
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shozaii · 4 years
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I don’t know if this is the place to request, I’m new to tumblr so I’m really sorry T^T, If I can request, May I have a dazai x reader where dazai is being forced by the agency to have a blind date with a girl thats basically perfect and wants dazai all to herself but then, dazai asks his fem!colleague (who has no ability) to pretend to be his gf, and it basically escalates to friends with benefits and then they fall for each other, lots of angst with a fluffy ending please! Thank you!
(a/n): helloooo anon!💓✨i had to find some really good inspo for this so i really apologize if this took too long :’( but i do hope you enjoy it as this is my first time working for a fic for him!❤️thank you for sending this in ahhh!!!
thank you so so much to @akutagawasbitches for helping me with this fic!! she gave me so much help and i’m so grateful hhh🥺🤍🤍🤍
masterlist.
-----------------------------
sparks fly.
pairing : dazai x fem! reader.
word count: 2704.
warnings: angst, mentioning of suicide and death!
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“Again...?”
It was yet again another whine that brought attention to more of the colleagues from the agency, including your (e/c) eyes.
“A-Again what?”
“We kind of arranged a blind date for him,” Tanizaki said, as he was standing right next to your desk, watching the commotion unfold. “Haven’t you heard?” But how could you, really? When the man of your dreams has been constantly pressurized into having to date women; left and right. And they turn out to be nothing of his choice of sorts. They don’t lack looks, or anything in particular. The spark was never alive within their eyes, and that only seemed to make Dazai grow more impatient. But you see, what was to be highlighted here, was that if he ever found the spark, you were no longer a chance. And if you were to ever let him know of your very own buzz of hope, it would all probably go downhill from there.
“Argh....I’m afraid I would have to pass that opportunity,” he rolled his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today, folding his arms in desperation of wanting to head home, and lay on his bed, lightly snoring away.
“I don’t know, Dazai. this girl here was really interested in wanting to meet you. But then again, I’m guessing you have someone else in mind,” Yosano eyed Dazai very carefully, trying to trace his facial features for any discrepancies.
“Atsushi-kun-,” he groaned, looking at him with a face of complete disagreement.
“I tried telling them that you wouldn’t like it, Dazai-san,” he muttered, to which he then slowly eyed you. The only other person who truly knew from a to z about your feelings was Atsushi and only Atsushi. So, every time he hears of these blind dates Dazai was going on, he winced. He winced because he knew not only it was going to be another rejection, but it was going to be another shard of your glass heart, being chipped away, slowly losing strength of holding on to each other.
This time, you could feel a few more being picked on by a sharp needle, leaving the impact on it as slow as possible, for you to take in all the pain second by second. Before you knew it, Dazai was already up on his feet, forcing himself to actually accept the so- called blind date that his friends have already set him up for. with a heavy heart, he has to reject someone. with an ignorant face, he has to show disinterest. with a blunt emotion, he has to say something.
Anything.
“Y/N!”
You occasionally walk behind Dazai if you ever had the chance - sometimes you’d come out a little late just to finish any paperwork lying around, Dazai’s untouched ones, to be more specific. Sometimes he goes missing from the agency - this just meant he had something important to do; let it be in or out of the agency. It’s not weird that you didn’t know his whole schedule. This man always told you stories, reminded you of what he was about to do next, teased you-
“Y/N...? Hello...?” a shadow loomed near you, causing you to stop your train of thought.
“Dazai! H-Hi.” The little – but burning – spark ignited in you once more; causing you to tumble back.
Your tumbling wasn’t the one which would make you fall in an instant; it was definitely one you could hold onto. But when you felt an arm inviting itself around your figure, your eyes went wide open; to whether you were facing reality or not. Never in your wildest dreams did you think that Dazai would be the one to do so, as he pulled himself towards you.
“Good evening.”
“Ah!” You sort of got yourself out of the position, now having your cheeks completely heat up. “Good evening, Dazai. Anything that I could help you with?”
“You do know what is going to happen within the time span of….24 hours, I suppose? This blind date that I have. Terrifying, you know.”
“Well, I did hear about it. you’re heading to it, a-aren’t you?” He raised an eyebrow when you seemed to be nearly choked on your own words.
“Bold of you to assume that I’ll be going! Yes, sweet pea. But no. I just can’t seem to bring myself to these new faces. I may like all kinds of women – but this feeling doesn’t hold me great paths.” That same nickname he decided to call you a long time ago, and it stuck among the both of you like glue. Why were your friends even trying so hard for him to find someone else? Heck, you dropped hints (or so you thought you did); so, what was just so difficult up until now?
She looked so pretty though. Dazai didn’t get a look – it’s called a blind date for a reason. Was he really just meant for you whatsoever?
“Please be my girlfriend, y/n.”
“What?!” You blurted out, slapping your mouth shut right after, your breaths quickening.
“Did I hear you right? Your girlfriend? W-Where is this coming from-,”
“Ah! Well only just for a day, if you will? Pretty please?”
And just like that, when you already have multiple pieces pricked away; twenty more lost grip, flying away without leaving a trace. The spark popped right after, causing even more bits to drop off, merely at the complete edge of slipping away, finally begging you with all their might that they wanted to break their bonds between one another. How did the mechanism work? you never knew.
“Dazai…. I-,”
“It will only take a while, I promise. I know it’s hard, especially when a colleague is asking another, but I’ll leave you be. You can even not talk to me, anything you want!”
“So, it’s even eligible if I decided to say that I have literal feelings for you.”
“What’s that?” Dazai’s eyes were visible with confusion.
“Nothing! I just...”
*****
It all came to plan, whatever he wanted, he got. But something that he definitely didn’t want, happened.
The scheduled location was fine. a beautiful park, now blooming with an endless trail of sakura trees and lovely flowers. The weather was really fine today; not too hot, not too cold. Everyone wished him luck; even though no such luck was retrieved during these dates. He even wanted to wear his usual trench coat for even more ‘contrasting effect to his luscious locks’, but Atsushi and Kunikida dealt with it immediately, now perfectly dressed in a collared shirt, and a jacket hung loose over his shoulders.
Wasn’t that the one you gave him for one of his birthdays? You had to admit, every outfit he ever went with looked so utterly amazing on him.
The timing was perfect as well, though he did whine about being there a few minutes earlier than expected. His blind date arrived shortly after. A small smile painted across her face, her beauty ever so blinding, a sight for sore eyes. The looks that they both had were absolutely downright stunning. If they were ever to be walking into a ballroom, with all the fancy lights and the sparkly dresses, people would immediately turn their attention to the both of them and swoon, for they were the ones that might as well allow anyone to worship for their combined artistry.
This wasn’t just a blind date, it was a reunion, from when these two distant souls met each other once in the agency. It was urgent the other day, since she needed help for something which was actually quite serious. Somehow, they arranged the blind date with the same woman, now fully glimmering with her ethereal beauty.
Dazai was either flattered or displeased with this situation. Displeased not because of the first glimpse that he managed to catch back then, but rather because he didn’t need this to go any further. Flattered? Maybe because she complimented his looks and such, and somehow, he managed to pay them back.
To you, it was really rude to be spying on someone like this. But this was like a mission, in order to conclude whether this was a successful date, or just plain boring. Right now, you could see neither. but if your head were to ever want to prick more needles into your heart, it would tell you the progress went smoothly. And by every growing minute into the date, you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, coated in the right amount of heat executed from your body.
Of course, Atsushi saw that. How could he not? It was clear that this job was given to you by accident, but you still insisted on coming along anyway.
*****
He expected a lot of things to go wrong, of course -you know, like her slowly losing interest in the date. or maybe she would change her mind with just anything at that point, but to no avail. All Dazai could ever do now was to pray and pray that she was going to forget this whole blind date thingy that absolutely made no sense to him. But then, he didn’t expect the sudden arrival of a beautifully dressed damsel, walking up towards the both of them. From afar, it looked like just another stranger in sight, probably stomping away in anger. Or that’s what he thought.
It was you, finally out of your hiding spot, with Atsushi not being able to find you in the crowd any longer. you assured him for what seemed like the thousandth time before taking off, and he was already shaking in fear when he reminisced the conversation, he had had earlier with you.
*****
“But how are you going to tell him? He did tell you to pretend to be his girlfriend!”
“I know Atsushi! I know!” you let out a sob in between, now sitting on the ground.
“Y/N-san, please think about it. Dazai-san is a person who would be really difficult to get through, but I do have a feeling that you might ace this. We also don’t know much of the girl, so are you sure? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
You wiped your tears away furiously now, eyes bloodshot, your anger emphasizing the red. “Then I might as well get it through his thick skull. go, Atsushi. and don’t come finding for me.”
*****
Thinking that it was actually time for him to call you out as his lovely partner, he straightened his posture in confidence.
“Well, well! look who’s here, my lovely-,”
“Don’t. You. Dare.”
“Y-Y/N?”
“All these years and I honestly expected something out from you, you dumbass. I’m not just someone you could play along with, suddenly teasing the shit out of me, calling me all those silly, adorable nicknames, and then pressure my heart into breaking even further, while I hear that you constantly get blind dates. How exactly do you think I feel? Sure, maybe you don’t know much about my stuff. But how dare you.”
“Look, if you’re only going to come here and start dissing someone for no goddamn reason, I’m going to have to ask you to leave-,” the girl began.
“Like you know what it’s like to be with the most amazing yet wacky person on the planet. thinking that all these blind dates were going to go so well. if they say no, they say no! what part of that word do you not understand?!”
“Let me ask you this. Who do you think you are, you witty brat?”
Without waiting, you answered shakily. “His gir- his girlfriend.”
She took a final glance at Dazai. no response. which was what made her finally leave you and him alone, as he continued to look directly at you. Well, you did get his attention. might as well continue.
“Now. I may be the stupidest person in the world for doing this, but I think I have dropped more hints than I ever have to anyone in my life, ever. My heart aches every moment, thinking of you. When will you get a partner? When will you leave? When would it be the moment where you decide that I’m not good enough? Stupid, stupid questions. I shouldn’t have told Atsushi. I shouldn’t have let everyone observe me. Why and how did I ever fall for you?!” Y/N yelled, her chest heaving. Swallowing, she continued to speak.
“Most importantly, I wish I didn’t barge up here to tell you how I feel. why? Look at her. Look at me. She has got everything I don’t. She is ready to give you her all when she asks for it. She doesn’t need to worry about any flaws. Oh, to be as brave and confident as her. the next thing I know is that we’ll completely forget each other, you leaving me be, vice versa. Us staying this way, because that’s how it is! a complete, hell of a circus!”
Dazai reached for your hand, but you inched away. “I’ve never known what did ‘slowly dying’ meant, but now I see it all.’
You stormed off, hoping to all the gods above that he actually took the hint of what you finally spat out. Stupid spark; lighting up when you decided to cry it all out, while he watches on, genuinely shocked. Stupid tears, making you feel lightheaded when all you wanted to do was talk.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
The day wasn’t quite over yet, when you felt someone grab you hard, and also painfully, by your wrist. You felt your knuckles crack during the process, and you just had no time to turn around and actually suspect who this person really was.
Until you did.
You tried swatting his hand away. You didn’t need this. You didn’t need him. You didn’t need Dazai Osamu pulling you towards the most beautiful, yet empty bridge of Yokohama, where the sun was slowly setting, the harmonious glow beginning to land on the tall buildings.
“Let me go!” you breathed out softly, eyes now tired and high on the tremendous set of tears you have let out. “Please.” But he believed that by walking closer towards you, placing both of his calloused hands on your cheek, and by leaning in closer to you, you would calm down. You would stop. You would feel loved.
You would feel the sparks once more.
“Y/N.”
His eyes were now dim, but not the kind of dim where the look would kill a person on sight. It was dim, dull with anguish and torment. A plead for your eyes to look right into your his, aching with the regrets. With the words he needs to say, but never knowing how to put them together.
“My heart and soul told me that if I wanted you safe, I was only supposed to lock them in. Far, far away, for you to not find them anywhere.”
“But why would you….?”
“Oh, sweet pea. why would anyone want me, really? A man who wants to find a beautiful woman to commit suicide with. Also, someone who could annoy you to the core. Ex-port mafia executive. As a human myself, my flaws are pretty huge.”
“If you think I would ever ditch you for your flaws, that could be another person you’re talking about. I have no ability. I’m nowhere as great as you. don’t you see that I…I have flaws too?”
“Not having an ability doesn’t mean having a flaw. Neither your perfection shall ever beat that silly word.”
You definitely didn’t expect more sparks to ignite the light in you, or the next few seconds as Dazai leaned in, finally closing in the gap that you both shared. His lips were like honey, and yours were like the world’s finest sugar. the first kiss that you shared was definitely a new kind of passion, a sweet release of both your yearnings. It was also the kind where you could never forget. As he let go, his scent still lingered on you. His eyes slowly began to bloom the gorgeous glow, his smile now softer than ever. He reached for your hand and placed it on his chest.
“if you listen closely, you could hear sparks fly.”
-----------------------------
(a/n): ahhh here it is!! angst and mitra?? hmmm maybe :O jejsjsj
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youjustwaitsunshine · 3 years
Note
was thinking today that i wish multi 21 had happened now. can you imagine how funny it would be on here
OKAY
this could be multiple scenarios
Scenario A: It's good ol' Seb and Mark at Red Bull but make it Twenty Twenty. First,, Mark Webber still in f1 because f1 contractually needs at least one dude with a square jaw. The fucking drama wed have about him because hes visually hot but shitty as a person,,, people would fight so hard id probably delete tumblr for a bit,, people hating seb for not working with the team/not being nice to mark/whatever vs people nutting to that ballsy overtake/being on sebs side because he 'put mark in his place'/being megahorny for seb going full bde with i was racing i was faster i passed him i won,, the carnage,,,
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wed get so many pictures of my favorite genre of f1 shot (seb being like 😘✌️ and mark looking dead inside) ALSO THE MODERN RED BULL SUITS ON THEM
Scenario B: MULTI 21 BUT MAKE IT SEBCHAL
okay so to fulfill this requirement ferrari would be more competitive and seb would have to channel his pettiest self (we know hes got it in him, see canada 2019)
so the team order would tell seb to stay behind and not race (irl ferrari do this by ordering weird ass pit stops 🙃) and please i need this so much oh fuckkk like that brutal overtake thats like haha red mist go brrrrrr PLEASE IMAGINE THE FERRARI PIT WALL GOING ABSOLUTELY NUTS and fucking bino trying to say they gifted seb the win to save face that they cant control their drivers and charles somehow thinking it was his fault and not getting the memo that ferrari are supposed to present themselves as a united front against seb so he just goes i should have been better i should have defended better seb was the best seb is amazing i couldnt keep up with him we were racing he was faster he passed me he won and seb saying the same line (i was racing,...) in his interview (tbf he could probably get away with lying about not understanding the strategy call because ferrari strategy calls are dodgy but he probably wouldn't do that to his engineers) ALSO SEB COULD SAY BOTH THE I WAS RACING THING AND THE NOT BAD FOR A NUMBER TWO DRIVER LINE IN ONE RACE
Also the reactions oh GOD imagine the charles people and the seb people being out for blood,, having a big real reason to fight,, it would be so fucking terrible on here and like, id probably go into witness protection after calling the move bde
PLEASE ANON this would be absolute mayhem like when multi 21 happened i was a fuckin child my f1 knowledge didn't go beyond this is sebastian and i love him, like all the bad stuff and booing went right over my head but having that, today,,? F1blr would join the list of absolutely cursed fandoms like wed be up there as the new stucky vs stony oh on one hand i want this to happen, on the other hand i would probably delete
ANYWAYS
aaaaaaaah imagine tho charles and seb in the cooldown room,, seb angrily drinking water, charles (angry with himself for letting seb by and thinking he misunderstood pit wall orders) sitting slumped in a chair,, fuckin bino coming in like multi 21 seb! Multi 21!! and the double awkwardness of the podium because seb is still riding the high of sticking it to ferrari instead of the regret he had at red bull,,,, the scenes
HNNNGH MULTI 2020 21 WOULD BE SO AMAZING BUT ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO HIDE IN A CAVE IF IT EVER HAPPENED
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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years
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honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?
holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.
like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.
ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls
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ultrahamilham · 4 years
Note
F I A N C E ? ! AAAAA HOLY SHIT I DONT KNOW Y'ALL BUT THATS FUCKIN AWESOME HOLY SHIT ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yep! I'm the luckiest man in the world to be able to say she is my fiancee. We actually made these blogs so that we could do some hamilton collabs and what not together!!
Also, here is your requested fic! The prompt was found on tumblr, it just screamed whamilton to us. Prompt can be found here. @gagakumadraws found it and asked me to write it, so this is for the both of you! Please feel free to ask for more, I had fun writing this!
---
George looked at the time and frowned, worry starting to overpower his frustration. Alexander was supposed to come over to his house that day so that they could privately discuss some personal matters surrounding their relationship without the chance of anyone listening in on them, but he was late. Half an hour late, to be exact. Alexander was almost never late, not without a very good reason, so he felt right to be worried. 
He was just about to get up to head out in search of Alexander when the man in question burst into his office, hair barely being held up in a messy bun and his glasses askew. "Sorry sir, I got distracted!" Alex exclaimed breathlessly.
George was taken aback, both by Alexander's sudden appearance, and what the smaller man was wearing. "Alexander… That's my sweater. You are wearing my sweater, why are you wearing my sweater?" It was hard to focus on anything else, not with how CUTE Alexander looked, dwarfed by the sweater he was wearing.
George received a weird look from Alexander, the smaller man looking almost offended that he would even ask that. "Um… I was cold?" Well that did make some sense, he supposed. 
"Alright, that's a fair response. Now, Alexander, where exactly did you find my sweater?" George crossed his arms, starting to understand just why Alexander was late.
Any other man would have expected Alexander to look sheepish when he responded, but George wasn't any other man, and Alexander was the type to do as he wished, regardless of how anyone felt about it. "... In your room?" Of course that's where he found it.
George let out a loud sigh, leveling Alexander with a stern expression. "What the hell were you doing in my room, son?" He asked, tacking on the word he knew would get under Alexander's skin.
Unfortunately, Alexander didn't seem bothered this time around. Instead, he squared up to George, all 5'4" of him looking as intimidating as he could while basically swimming in a sweater that looked to be almost three times his size. George had to fight back the need to laugh at how adorable Alexander looked, since he was supposed to be annoyed with him. "Looking for a hoodie. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious, sir." Why did Alexander have to be so cute when he was sassy?
George straightened up a little more, not surprised when Alexander tried to make himself look larger in response. "So let me get this straight, son," George kept his tone firm, refusing to budge just yet. "You came into my house without telling me you were here, very likely on time for our scheduled meeting, only to sneak into my room and snoop around for a sweater?" It sounded ridiculous, but also very much something Alexander would do.
George had never met a man like Alexander. Most men would wilt under his stare, wouldn't even dare to do half of the things Alexander did, and they most certainly wouldn't continue to stand up to George. Alexander, however, wasn't most men. No, Alexander was on a whole other level compared to the average folk. The younger man just grinned up at him and nodded firmly, as if he should get an award for his efforts. "Yep! I was on time, so you can't be mad at me. I was here, and you admitted it." George groaned at how proud Alexander sounded.
George pinched the bridge of his nose, not sure how much longer he could deal with this. "That wasn't my point Alexander. Just what am I going to do with you?" George leaned against his desk, giving up on trying to be intimidating. 
George looked up when he felt a warm body pressing against his. He looked down at Alexander's grinning face and couldn't help but return the smile. "You're going to love me, and enjoy every moment of it." George rolled his eyes and placed his hands on Alexander's hips.
"Is that so, son?" George felt Alexander shiver under his touch, the first of many he would get from his boy that night.
"Yes it is, sir. Now shut up and kiss me." George didn't have to be told twice.
He pressed his lips to Alexander's and made a mental note to hide his sweaters better, if only to see what lengths his boy would go to in order to get them.
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flokive · 4 years
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got tagged by @ashtonsos so here we goooooo ✨🌙
Name: floortje  Nickname: flo, flora, flori, floorie, floralia Zodiac sign: vigrio  Height: i’m 1,83 so i guess that’s between 5′11 and 6′0  Nationality: dutch Languages spoken: dutch, english and i can understand german and order food in french What time is it: 7pm Celebrity crush: it’s always been harrison ford But also; ashton fucking irwin Favorite fictional character: jk rowlings golden trio, han solo, indiana jones, lorelai gilmore and sookie st. james and probably a 1000 more but this is my top 7 (?? thats a weird top but it is what it is) !!!  Favorite musician: 5sos (well who would’ve thought), justin timberlake, elvis and roger waters/pink floyd  Favorite sports team: i.....hate sports? but for my soccer obsessed nephew i’ll say fc utrecht Favorite season: summer, fall and december Favorite flower: sunflower Favorite scent: the smell of rain, fresh baked bread, freshly mowed grass, my cat, bittergarnituur fresh from the fryer (the dutch will understand) and my boyfriends cologne Favorite animal: cats, goats, lambs, dogs and dolphins Favorite food: um everything?? don’t make me fucking choose between anything italian, mexican or asian !!!!!!! Dream car: either a volvo xc90, a jeep wrangler, a tesla model s or a navy blue mercedes c class (cheap taste? we don’t know her!!!!) Dream trip: greece road trip with amber, new zealand, australia, hawaii and japan Instruments: i used to play the piano Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: i drink tea a tiny bit more often than coffee but they share the top spot Dog or cat person: i used to be a dog person but i did a full 180 and am now a proud mother of my demon!cat Following: 156 (this took me too long to find out, hello boomer!flo) Followers: 43!!!!! Other blogs: i have an star wars blog but it’s just out there and not being used hehe Do you have a Tumblr crush: i love each and everyone of yous but amber (@ashtonsos) wil forever and ever be my favourite person in the world Do you get asks: not a lot but that’s okay What is your lucky number: 3 What are you wearing right now: my super soft teddy sweater and my pj pants Drink of choice: we all know it’s gin and tonic but also wodka, club soda and lime juice is *chefs kiss* (or was this not supposed to be alcoholic??) Number of blankets you sleep with: 2, one to cuddle with when boyf doesn’t want to sleep yet Average sleep hours: idk men i think 7?  Random fact: i work for dutch television and i think it’s really really cool and i’m really fucking lucky to do what i love to do and that i’ve been given this chance two years ago 
i tag:  @faraway5251​ @easierlftv​ @spicycal​ @softbabiestan​ @bettermcn​ @ashisonthefloor @kingcals @babylonashton @castaway-cashton
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sights-on-the-scifi · 5 years
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Violence in MASS EFFECT.
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Alright Tumblr i’m gonna try even harder to satisfy your content laws... God I hope this posts.
MASS EFFECT 2 Marked a change in the creative direction of the series in many ways not just limited to style and presentation. But also in how it tackled violence in its narrative and gameplay.
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It developed a near uncritical affection for its violence. Removing any semblance of scepticism towards its application with exception to a few storied and mechanical instances all for which will be talked about as we progress.
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VIOLENCE IN GAMES AND OTHER FORMS OF MEDIA AS A WHOLE.
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Before we begin ill like to explain to you why violence in a video game is so fun to the player on a mechanical basis. You see video game violence is complete fantasy that much is obvious just from looking at it I hope, it has no real basis in reality. For example the simple fact being that you are interacting with simulated combat via mouse and keyboard on a flat 2D surface, not with your hands, feet, arms, firearms, grenades and depth perception... Some games like the first CALL OF DUTY title go out of their way to communicate this very important distinction to you with its death quotes system, which communicates a famous anti war saying every time you die on the digital battlefield, and you do die a lot in the game so the words always have time to sink in...
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The chest high wall games of wack a mole and close range engagements you typically find yourself in are inherently ridiculous, but something that is true about these portrayals is the deep psychological stuff that occurs in the back of your mind through play.
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Fight or flight. Those instinctual, primal/animal like areas of your mind that govern responses to threats and general dangers that were extremely useful during our species evolutionary development as hunter gatherers, if a game is designed well enough it can take advantage of those responses and insert them into game-play loops which encourage positive reinforcement when taking down digital combatants... These are the things games tap into and the things military companies etc also tap into as part of training or recruitment programs especially in modern digital age armies where focus groups have to find new ways of getting young people interested in soldiering without conscription and a national crisis to absorb individuals into service positions. Anyone has the capacity to be violent and become a killer you need only the right training and psychological conditioning and in the army that is one part of basic. Popular video games and films provide you with that psychological training in a very subdued, consumer friendly fashion and that is through desensitisation. “Image training”
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It is turned into a power fantasy, for military recruiters it is also an effective strategy for recruitment purposes.
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“War is delightful to those who have not experienced it” Erasmus.
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Violence in real life is brutal, random and horrifying even in a domestic sense to any sane or normal person with the capacity for human empathy (Though sometimes there are forms of desensitisation that override this), not even most soldiers who undergo psychological conditioning to be able to kill are immune to this trauma. Violence is not fair, violence is not graceful and more often than not it is also used irresponsibly in any situation where in it is absolutely necessary to be used, even then those situations are themselves questionable. Especially in present day conflicts waged overseas out of sight and mind of the general public for wealth, oil and resources.
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I have experienced forms of domestic violence throughout my childhood such as being beaten by my parents and having animals ordered to attack me, I understand how awful it can be to live in absolute fear and experience excruciating pain and misery as a result of this so making a post like this I hope makes you think about this a bit more from that personal lens too.
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Games and movies on their own dont cause violence that much is certain from studies no matter how vivid their depictions get, but they do desensitise you to its realities in strange and weird ways both mechanically, visually and also sometimes in the narrative. (Until we can someday reach the point where in we can perfectly simulate reality and violence there is no way in hell military companies are going to rely on it exclusively to train soldiers). But they can rely on the positive mental associations they bring to warfare.
HOW MASS EFFECT 2 PORTRAYS VIOLENCE.
MASS EFFECT is by no means a game that is used as a vessel to drive up real world military recruitment, there is no indication of official army endorsement since it is just a trilogy of science fiction video games after all. But it does include violence that tries its very best to make you the player think its wicked cool in addition to finding it fun if the game-play loop is effective enough. Which in ME2 it is especially effective and the marketing wanted to push that.
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So how does MASS EFFECT 2 and to an extent MASS EFFECT 3 make its violence so fun and “Cool”... Ill break this down into a variety of factors starting with your enemies.
DEHUMANISATION OF COMBATANTS AND KNOWING YOUR ENEMY.
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MASS EFFECT 2 takes players to the Terminus systems and other parts of the galaxy that do not fall under official council law, so naturally this means there is an seemingly over abundance of private military and mercenary organisations. But ME2 is not interested in what these things represent completely, more so it is interested in using their presence as a convenient means to provide the player with thousands of disposable henchman to shoot, stab, pull and blow up in a variety of fun and exciting ways!... (Those gamified ways) All the while giving you the excuse to not feel bad while doing so no matter how cruel you are in the application of your response to incoming fire.
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In fact throughout the whole ME2 experience you probably kill more mercenaries comprised of Turians, Humans, Asari, Krogans, Vorcha and salarians, more so then you do the Reapers or Collectors who are supposed to be the primary antagonists of the series... Which it seems is pretty antithetical to the overall themes of uniting the galaxy to fight a common threat which threatens all life, perhaps you have already done the job for em in this regard. What you are seeing here is a form of precision engineered dehumanisation of combatants for purposes of providing a player with something to shoot and kill without much thought and sympathy... and the military also employs this tactic in real life to dehumanise other humans for soldiers to shoot and actually kill.
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Make your enemies faceless, inhuman or “irredeemable” cannon fodder and the feelings you get for uncritically slaughtering them all are palpable, especially with such entertaining gameplay systems that make the whole endeavour that much more exciting. The same was true for Cerberus in ME3 effectively turning the whole organisation into faceless storm-troopers with filtered voices and intimidating armour again another form of enemy dehumanisation in addition they are all conveniently indoctrinated so thats another justification hooray!. More bad guys to shoot right?
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You dont have to feel bad if there is nothing to feel bad about right? You are Commander Shepard! Or a soldier in the military you are right in all actions and decisions you make by virtue of the fact you fight for a cause like stopping the Reapers.
VIOLENCE AS AN ONLY MEANS TO A DESIRED END.
Despite MASS EFFECT’S status as an RPG experience, the games rarely if ever provide you with substantial opportunities to employ diplomatic solutions to various problems where in it would seem feasible that it can be at least attempted.
Most of the time you will be exhausting dialogue options on a screen and shooting faceless thugs behind chest high cover throughout the entire experience.
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In the narratives themselves this refusal to resolve conflicts peacefully are actively supported by characters or hand waved as being frivolous by the plot and sometimes even Shepard himself. Kill or be killed rains supreme in again, But in real life that mindset is far from being realistic or preferable.
THE BADASS CHARACTER CLICHE.
Something that will severely age the MASS EFFECT 2 experience is its over reliance on making every single character a BADASS stereotype. Even beloved Mordin Solus falls victim to this strange fixation with violent attributes and histories being considered wicked cool bro! In combat Mordin will utter lines that hint to the fact that he very much enjoys the killing he is participating in.
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“Killed that one!”
“Thought I was harmless did you?”
“Oooh headshot!”
“Here... Enjoy” (Plays during times he sets people on fire with his tech attacks)
He also lists at one disturbing point in the story, all the ways in which he has killed people. Which includes using lethal drugs and... farming equipment, thats funny right? Actually MASS EFFECT 2 seems to include a lot of moments like that in where people list off hilarious methods they have used to kill people.
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Every character in one way or another has the capacity to kill and does kill, they kill quite a lot of people actually and in some cases this is celebrated with gleeful enthusiasm by the plot.
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Even Shepard can participate in a little bit of casual BADASSERY no matter if you are renegade or paragon. Be that shooting through hostages, threatening Batarian thugs, shooting Konrad in the foot or generally acting like a ruthless prick all for the fun of it like when you trick a injured mercenary into thinking he is going to die from minor wounds. This is a stark contrast to ME1 which at least tried its best to codify violent or aggressive acts as morally questionable. You are the first Human spectre in that game after all a shining beacon to all humanity in the new frontiers of space, what you do in that story is emblematic of the attitudes the whole of humanity express going forward.
Jack is probably the most blatant example of this new approach to violence the series took for reasons I have already described in previous posts.
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To be clear, I’m not saying MASS EFFECT 2'S inclusion of glorified fantasy violence is entirely a bad thing. I just think that if you are gonna include violence you best be a little more intelligent when it comes to its usage in mechanics and narrative. Because it can be a powerful thematic tool if used right, in some cases there are moments in ME2 wherein it does get used extremely well but those moments are also still few and far between.
We can do so much better.
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tumblunni · 5 years
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My ideas if Wales gets referenced in this new britain region which is probably unlikely but we can hope:
* Another sheep pokemon/a mareep regional variant/just mareep being common over here
* llamhigyn y dwr regional variant of gligar! As a kid i always thought gligar was meant to be one of those! Its a mytholigical flying frog with a scorpion tail, and really the only reason i dont think gligar is based on it is because its ground instead of water type. Like its really specifically similar right down to the wings being webs under the arms!
* Welsh Lady pokemon! (The traditional costume kids wear at eisteddfods)
* Maybe instead some sort of legendary based on eisteddfods in general? Theyre a poetry/art festival where the winner gets "the chairing of the bard" aka just imagine ur average school contest except if ur in wales u literally get knighted with a fake sword, crown and The School's Personal Throne. Its very weird in retrospect but it just seemed normal when i was a kid. I won it once and i was so anxious having to go thru the big celebration thing!! Like aaa just let me take my certificate and run! XD So yeah maybe a legendary based on the eisteddfod throne itself? Its called a throne but its more of a fancy wooden chair with patterns carved into it. So some sort of wooden dragon! And the legend would be that only the most talented bards can ride it and it bucks off anyone it thinks isnt purehearted enough. And maybe it could have a lovespoon for a tail cos thats also another wooden welsh thing. (Fancy carved spoons for good luck and/or romantic gifts)
* welsh cake pokemon!! Theyre just a sweetened scone with raisins in it, but i think it could be really cute as a design. Im thinking a rock type that just coincidentally looks like a cake with raisins, and it rolls around sideways like a big goofy crab~
* or if you wanna go for other local foods maybe mix the kelpie with bara bryth? (Seaweed bread paste stuff) So its just a loaf of bread that evolves into a badass horse and it would make no sense to anyone except brits, lol.
* perhaps a legandary based on the bard taliesin? It could be similar to nebby in starting off with a weak baby form but then becoming a badass! Cos his origin story was that he wasnt naturally all super cool so talented at singing that he could make literal magic happen just by sheer creativity. Instead he accidentally drank a magic potion of creativity that a witch made, and his abilities came at the cos of Pissing Her Off Forevermore. So maybe the baby form cpuld be a witch's cauldron? And have a tail made of chains to symbolize how he was enslaved as that witch's assistant and managed to escape with her most valuable prize. And then his ethereal fancy humanoid form could maybe be similar to meloetta's living music thing but more with calligraphy instead? But perhaps still have a similar chain tail to show his origins, except now the links in the chain are all fancy calligraphy Os, lol
* accompanying legendary possibilities: ceridwen (the evil witch from that story) or morfran (her innocent son) Morfran did nothing wrong but is often painted as more of the villain of the story than she is, simply because he was black. Yeah there's racism even back in our mythology, ugh...! I always felt so depressed for morfran cos the story is that ceridwen only made this super magical potion of being the best bard ever cos everyone said her son was the ugliest man on earth and EVEN SHE AGREED so she thought she had to give him some magic powers to stop people from hating him. And instead taliesin steals it and goes off to be the most powerful and respected and also handsome man ever, the end. And seriously the ONLY THING they mention about why this child is ugly is that he was "black like a crow" and also his name means evil crow. And thats just the end of his story forever, being some other dude's origin story and then forgotten into the void :( So like hey a pokemon criticizing that part of the myth wouls be great too! Like maybe have morfran be a counterpart legendary like latias to latios and he just looks equally beautiful with a reversed colourscheme of dark skin and white calligraphy patterns. And maybe the pokedex entry could be like "taliesinmon got its powers thru a magical gift from meloetta" and "morfranmon worked really hard for its powers all on its own and also is very socially anxious and relateable and tumblr user tumblunni's favourote character in all british mythologies despite also representing the worst part of our nation but hey its not this man's fault please rescue him ok" Srsly its not like its common to see taliesin referenced in fiction but morfran is even more forgotten and i think he needs at least one positive fictional depiction to make up for being screwed over in the original myth.
* Another myth with unintended bad messages is the one of Blodeuwedd or Dwedd (friends may recognize that i named my Gourgeist after her!) Her story is that she was an artificial human created out of plants in order to be some guy's sex toy basically. Yet she's the villain of the story cos she refused to marry him and ran off with another guy. Like seriously she was BORN to marry this dude! Even if he's the big mythological prince we're supposed to root for, with modern morality perspectives its kinda impossible to see it that way. At least unlike morfran she actually does do other stuff to establish her as a villain other than just existing, she comes back with her new boyfriend to kill the dude who made her and thus set the course of history awry cos he was A Really Inportant Destiny Prince And All. But seriously dude this is 100% your own fault for being creepy enough to not want to date real women and instead have some messed up preprogrammed woman who'd do whatever you want. "The only reason she wouldnt obey like he wanted must be because the seed of evil was in her heart" yeah no maybe it was the seed of free will u bastard. Anyway they have a funny sequence where prince douche mc douchebag is prophesized to never be killed by etc etc etc so dwedd and her new boyf have to trick him into THE MOST CONTRIVED CIRCUMSTANCE EVER to find a loophole. I think it was something like one foot on a goat and one on a bucket while at the border line between two countries at the crack of dawn? And as fitting a standard boring hero story of course eeeevil dwedd gets thwarted and prince pompous is ressurected and she's punished forever by being turned into an immortal owl for some reason.
* SO YEAH! Plant owl legendary! I just thought this myth in particular would be cool cos a female plant legendary with a disney villain aesthetic instead of the cliche pretty sexy thing everyone would probably expect. Make her bombastic and badass and terrifying!!! The pumpkaboo line is the closest thing so far cos bat pumpkin is KINDA close to daffodil owl. At least in terms of spooky aesthetic, lol
* oh and also her boyfriend was named gronw pebr and honestly he barely does anything in the whole story but he has a really cool name so i felt like mentioning it
* our national flower is the daffodil and our national vegetable is the leek so maybe a farfetch'd variation with a daffodil? Or maybe a saucepan or somethin. It could kinda work with farfetch'd origin, plus one of our most famous nursery rhymes is about saucepans. AR GATH WEDI SCRAPU GROOKEY BACH
* our national animal is actually the dragon not the sheep! So definately give us some good dragon types!! Our flag is a dragon so maybe our legendary could be that? And perhaps reference the whole "red dragon beats the white dragon symbolizing how much england sucks" legend by having it have two forms like minior or darmanitan and the weaker cowardly defensive one is england. Just sayin!!
* i dont think you can really make a pokemon personification of england conquering and literally owning us and us taking so long to even get considered a separate country again and be able to have our native language in schools except it was already so many generations passed of it being forbidden to be spoken that barely anyone still knew it and even nowadays when we have billingual road signs the rate of billingualism is incredibly low and im really jealous of my sister growing up in a school that taught it from a young age cos i was thrown into intermediate level welsh without having the basic lessons and thus nevee managed to learn it at all and felt both stupid and disconnected from my ancestors irretreiveably
* MAYBE A RUGBY POKEMON I DUNNO LOL
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Voltron Season 8 Rewrite- Ch 1: Launch Date
Found here on archive |x|
Partial rewrite of Voltron Season 8.
The story of Voltron starts to come to a close as the paladins go into space one last time to defeat a force greater than any they have ever seen before. With Honerva out in the universe, trying to get back her son and a reality that she wishes were true, the paladins and the coalition team must figure out how to stop her before all realities get destroyed in her conquest for a new life. Essentially, vld 8 but not so bad, fixing things like keeping Allura, Lotor and Adam alive, turning allurance into klance, redeeming Lotor's character, and a variety of other things that were wrong with the original season.
So, obviously season 8 was an absolute disaster that nobody wanted. Through this rewrite I am trying to keep the good aspects that season 8 had- though it wasn't many- and then change the things that really needed to be fixed. So while reading this, a lot of the parts may seem extremely similar to what happened in the show and that is because they simply just are. In no way am I trying to take credit for the scenes that I decide to keep from the season. Obviously those and all of the dialogue or the basic story line all belong to DreamWorks and the Voltron creators. However, there are parts that I have changed that are mine. The first chapter for instance, isn't much changed from the original episode 1, but more things will be changed later on based on what I did do differently in this chapter (so please do not get worried about the date scene at the end). I promise to do my best to fix the problems that season 8 had and to make it not dissapointing. For the most part I have all of the chapters planned out and will write them as soon as possible, but there will be no schedule in updating due to school and other commitments that need to come first. But if you have any questions about what major plot points are going to be changed so that you don't get disappointed in the end, feel free to comment and I will try to answer, or you can message me here. 
Shout out to my girlfriend for beta reading this, her tumblr and archive will be linked after the partial preview. 
I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading!
~Allura~
The hallway seemed darker than it had been the past several times she had stood outside of this window. From the outside, she could hear the sounds of the monitors and screens hooked up to the Altean girl that lay unconscious on the bed. It all seemed very surreal, the knowledge that her and Coran weren’t the only Alteans left in the universe was still so shocking. So surreal in fact, that it felt like a dream every time she stood behind the glass that separated her and the red headed Altean that seemed as if she would never wake up.
Footsteps echoed in the hallway behind her as they approached her side. Romelle. It was always Romelle. Coran joined her on occasion as she waited outside the patient's room, but she thinks that as more Alteans started showing up in their lives, it began to remind him of a better time. A time when this war wasn’t looming over their heads, determining their very being. So she didn’t ask him to come often.
Romelle, however, became Allura’s most recurring company. All of the paladins were off with their families or in meetings or just enjoying their time that they have left on Earth in general. Romelle didn’t have that. Romelle had lost just as much as Allura had, and now they both were experiencing that loss all over again as one of their own laid stone cold only just out of reach.
“You know, back on the colony, Luca and I didn’t always get along. But despite that, I had always respected her. She had strength and desire that few had. But it was never malicious in intent. She wanted good and fairness among our people. I don’t know what would ever drive her to turn against an innocent planet, especially after what happened to her own home planet.”
Allura remained quiet for a moment, continuing to stare through the glass. She knew all about the strength and determination that ran through Altean veins. She grew up with it. Found it within herself when she was thrown into the war so suddenly. She saw it every day in Coran as she had in her father before he had passed. And even in Lotor, who had a different sort of stubborn determination driving his very life, she felt it within him. He was the only one though that she had ever seen that determination turn into something that worked against itself. That quickly changed into a harmful path that got put above anything else that he may have believed in.
“Desire for something greater than yourself can be dangerous. If she was so desperate for something to believe in, she may have been susceptible to being easily manipulated.”
She didn’t need to say who. She was so sure that he had disappeared for good now, but he was always capable of much more than she had ever imagined.
She was so sure that this desire for a greater good could only stem from the one person who had control over the former colony.
Lotor.
~Lance~
The table was cool against his hands as they rested on the top. He stared down at them as Hunk had gone off to help his family and Sal make a few special request food items before they took off tomorrow. He heard them speaking in the background but their words came and went through his mind like white noise. He couldn’t pay attention to them. He couldn’t pay attention to much of anything really lately. He looked up at Hunk and his parents as they gave him two boxes. Hunk lifted the lid of one releasing the smell of freshly baked banana cake into the room, taking Lance back to the days when he would stay the night at Hunk’s house and his mom would make it for them to eat after dinner. They would always sneak down to the kitchen in the early hours of the morning and get themselves more slices to take back up to Hunk’s room as they talked about anything that their minds could conjure up.  
Hunks parents left the room with a simple “I love you” before Hunk turned and made his way back towards the table where Lance had been sitting the entire time.
“Big day tomorrow, isn’t it. It seems like almost forever ago when we found the Blue lion and piled in just to blasted out into space. Man, we had no idea what we were getting into! And now look at us, defenders of the universe.”
Lance didn’t look up at him, and he certainly didn’t meet his enthusiasm with his simple reply of “Yeah”.
“We are veterans now. We’ve seen it all, man. Going back into battle for the last time. Or hopefully the last time, I guess we could all fail miserably and die horrible deaths out in space. But here we go, back out into the unknown. Guess that makes us real heroes or something, doesn’t it?”
“Hm, yep.”
“Heroes enough that they made a show about us! Already! Can you believe it? Have you seen it yet? It’s not like the Voltron Show that we did to promote the coalition either. It’s like with real characters based on us. None of us really fit though, but it’s still cool. Coran is all serious and Allura isn’t really like Allura. Pidge can do cool flips and stuff but kind of sounds like a gremlin. They mixed up me and Keith pretty bad too! I’m all tough and mean and Keith is friendly! Can you believe it? Keith beling happy all of the time?” Lance had seen it. Everyone had seen it. They had to do some interviews with the writers about themselves. Hunk was right, they had gotten it all wrong. Lance just didn’t bother to stop his friends rambling though. “It’s weird though. I don’t know where they got it from, but I think they are even hinting at a romance between him and Allura.”
Lance’s head snapped up, drawing his attention from his fidgeting hands that had now been slammed down on the table to his friends shocked expression. He hadn’t meant to react like that- so abruptly. But it was reflex. Somehow this conversation went from being about absolutely nothing to everything that he had been thinking about since they were on that dumb space game show.
“What?! Allura and Keith . Nonononono, that’s not how it’s supposed to be!”
“Woah, a love triangle forming. I like where you are taking that.”
“Wh- what? A long triangle? What do you mean a love triangle… that would imply…”
“Well it would be perfect for that story. Obviously Keith has no real interest in Allura and you clearly do so it would work with you guys’ whole dynamic of going against each other and all.”
Lance looked down. So that was what he meant. Not about him…
“Oh wait dude, you said you were going to ask Allura on a date! Oh no, she didn’t say no did she buddy? Oh, oh man. I’m so sorry. That’s rough, I shouldn’t have said any…”
“She didn’t say no, Hunk. I just… I haven't gotten around to asking her yet, I guess. I’ve just had a lot on my mind about some stuff and she has been really busy with the new Altean girl that I don’t know if I should anymore. Maybe it just isn’t the right time.” He sat back down in his seat completely and folded his hands again, staring down at his fingers as they rubbed nervously together.
“No, Lance. It’s the only time. We leave tomorrow. It’s now or never dude, literally,” his brows furrowed as he put on his serious face. It was a face that Lance didn’t see often from his friend, mainly from when he was giving orders in the kitchen or protecting the ones he loved. Lance knew that Hunk figured out something was wrong. It isn’t like Lance was really trying to hide it. But he didn’t think Hunk knew the real reason why… Lancedidn’t even know completely why. “You are asking her tonight, and thats final,” he completed as he hit his palm gently on the table.
Lance didn’t say anything in protest.
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exotahu · 6 years
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It’s here, the giant Bronycon post!
As per usual I don’t usually make this many words ever so shit might be wonky. and also it was written over the course of a few days so things might not line up in the right order. Also, fair warning I get kinda weird and sentimental at the end there. Also I have no idea if tumblr will break the formatting real bad so heres hoping it doesn’t
Thursday We left early without much incident. Only a group of 4 this time. Me, Andy, his brother Justin, and Andy's girlfriend Sam who was coming in via plane.
It was a really easy journey. Even stopped at the one Speedway with the good hotdogs. I decided to tie a ribbon in my hair too, I always say I should do something more with it than just tie it back. So I figured I'd try it. We got to Baltimore in what felt like no time at all. We checked in and went to our rooms and waited for Sam. I fiddled with my little electric name badge thingy I bought last year. Got it to say my name and Bronycon 2018 with some hearts and sparkles. Once Sam got settled in, we all met back up to go to pre-reg. She and I were afraid we'd weird each other out but we ended up getting along great. We all went to pre-reg and picked up our badges. Then, after dropping our stuff off at the hotel we ventured back out into the inner harbor for food and hanging out. We opted not to go to Dick's this time, opting instead to go to Tir na Nog. Got my usual pub food. The Vodka cranberry (yes even though I planned on drinking later) and the plain cheese burger. I like to eat the same thing at all the places, because I think it's neat to see the same food through the different lenses of different restaurants. Tir na Nog in Baltimore is different than O'Toole's in Albany is different from Jack Astor's in Toronto. After that we went to the big Barnes and Noble and looked at books and stuff. Then we all went to that ice cream shop thats right next door. They sell tea apparently so I got a small one. Missed the regular size straws so I had a huge straw (Like a goddamn footlong) in a tiny cup (like 3 inches). We went to the bars in Fells point after that. We only got slightly lost, but we found it. We didn't register for the actual bar trot, cause you don't really have to to enjoy drinks. We went to the Dog's Watch Tavern first cause they usually have a good shot, which in this instance was a Pinkie Pie shot. Don't know what was in it but I had several. We went to the Admiral after that. It was the best as it usually is. I think I drank like, 4 of the Trixie, there was a Sunset Shimmer drink (But it was secretly the Applejack. I liked it anyway). And I had most of a Rainbow Dash drink. I must say, I absolutely adore the atmosphere at this bar. The bartender is great and clearly loves what he does. A couple people recognized me cause I sit in the same spot more or less every time, and the goggles that I wear. That was pretty neat. Got pretty drunk, decided to go back after that to prep for the next day. We got a little bit lost on the way back too, but it brought us by the CVS so I bought a couple boxes of PopTarts. We got back to the hotel and went to bed.
Friday
Tried to get up for opening but missed most of it. Caught the tail end of it though. Sleep deprivation got me, plus the buttload of alcohol didn't really help. Hung out in the harmony plaza til the apple family panel. There was a photoshoot that happened but there wasn't a ton of people there. Saw apple family VA panel. It was pretty funny. Went to the vendor hall and walked it to get the layout, I didn't want to just chaotically walk around and not know where anything was so I strictly just walked each isle in a pattern. Actually helped me remember where booths were. I spoke to an artist about getting a comission for a friend who couldn't make it. His slots were full for the day so I figured I'd come back Saturday. I bought an original piece from him, which was actually pretty cool. I then went to the comic booth. I am trying to get at very least the A and B covers for every comic, Plus I wanted first prints of the first issue mane 6 covers. I got the first prints of the two #1 issues I needed. Then I got invited to Jonny Rockets, and due to needing to finish something in the vendor hall it took me a little bit. My friends are cool and waited for me even though I went on one hell of a journey to get there. So I got out of the vendor hall which exited by the Hilton sky bridge. Figure, shit I'll just take the sky bridge on the opposite side so I go for it. Get out there, pass the other hotel (hyatt?) and what used to be a wide open plaza. (Now it's a parking lot). Realize the goddamn thing ends there and there is no way down (unless I went back through the convention center and all the way back around), and more of the bridge is missing. Figure I don't want to walk all the way back so I go through the hotel. No idea if I was supposed to go through that door cause it looks like there were unused decorations everywhere. Nobody stopped me so I made it out to the street. Realize I still have to walk to the corner to cross, but say fuck it and randomly cross in the middle to the street island thing. Then I almost died to a puddle walking on the sidewalk behind some food trucks. Caught myself though. Finally I get there and we hang out and get a burger. On our way back I managed to drop a Pokemon on the Bronycon gym. We went back to the vendor hall. Hung out and looked at stuff. Me an Sam went shopping for pillows. We each bought one, only the case though. Had no space to store the full whole thing.  We went to the whoves line pannel after that. It was really funny, especially the bit where they acted like the friendship map was a computer that got a ton of viruses and went to a "bad dragon" website. I am surprised I've never gone to it before. We went to Jimmy Johns for dinner and then dropped our stuff off at the hotel and headed to the palooza. The performances were great, although they somehow got super off schedule. I bought a Shake-Ups CD. I stayed until the end. I enjoy the palooza immensely, but those 2AM nights are rough. My legs end up being noodles and its a guarantee I won't get to bed until atleast 330. Which is about when I went to bed.
Saturday
Had a bit of a slow start but I wanted to speak to the artist about that comission for my friend who couldn't make it. Even though I was slow, I still got there early enough. The thing he wanted would have been too complex, so I came up with something I think he'll like. Then I went to the comic booth and figured out what I needed to complete the A and B covers for the main comic series. It was cool cause they just let me into the booth to look. I believe I've done it, I just have to add everything to my app to make sure. I ran out of space in my comic storage, so I only did the main series. Next year I will buy for the side series. (There is a lot less). As of typing this out, I found the shop's location. Only a 3 hour drive. Might make a trip of it so I don't have to worry about it at next year's con. Dunno. Met back up with Andy and Sam in vendor hall. We looked around before leaving to get food and make a hotel drop. We got lunch at the JJ before heading to the script reading panel with Tabitha. Usually they're pretty strict about recording at these. Usually one of the staff says something about my camera, but nobody said anything. Or mentioned not recording it at all. I wonder if anyone uploaded it. It was about the mane 6 and a convention called "boomycon" which was about an alt. universe Derpy as a comic character who rides a meteor or something. The comic characters crossed over into the regular universe and shenanigans ensued. It was pretty funny. After that we went back to vendor hall to check on something, and I bought another of those dang pillows, and these weird flow rings, plus some other small stuff, including some super fucking adorable chibi-ball plushie things of Fluttershy and Tempest (Pretty sure I posted pictures). We made a hotel drop and got food. We tried to get into the DIY pony plush making but ultimately the wait list was too long. At this point we went to the sky terrace thing. Apparently there was a wedding, which is really fucking cool! Then we just found some chairs to just kind of chill in. Justin had a mini-pizza that came in a mini-pizza box. We're just sitting there talking and some guy came up and leaned over. We all thougt maybe he had left something. Then we notice he's signing the empty pizza box? He then just says you're welcome and leaves. It took a second then we realized... It was MA Larson. Fucking hillarious. I went back to the hotel again, meeting up with a friend on the way back. Met back up with everyone else at the palooza after that.  Brought the rings I bought and was playing with them, while doing my awkward-ass flail dancing. A couple people thought they were cool which was neat. I really enjoyed all the performances. A cover of 500 miles happened, Eurobeat was fantastic. Great show. I caught a T-Shirt that was thrown. (Which never happens ever and even though it's a small size it still fits.) Again I stayed until 2 AM, got to bed about 330.
Sunday Sundays are usually always the chill day where not much happens. Woke up around the usual time and headed over to the vendor hall. I wandered and bought some last minute things (Pillow #3...). I met back with everyone else around noon. We spent most of day in vendor hall just hanging out. One thing I did, was get a comission of my pony OC. I've been wanting to for years, just to say I had so I finally did it. I'm looking forward to it. Also saw a little digital badges that you could store pictures in. After that we went to the fountains to hang out before lining up for closing ceremonies. They opened with a nifty performance by Step2Harmony. Some of the guests said their farewells before the con chairs started talking about the numbers, a little more than 5000 people. (I don't remmeber the exact number, might have been closer to 5600?). After that was a skit involving the mascots. Blank Canvas got accepted into an art school and Hoof Beatz was going on tour, and the date they were leaving was the end of August next year. They run off stage and Mane Event just stood there like "What about us... : (" Scene end. Sure enough, the con chairs came back out and annouced that next year is going to be a 4 day event instead of a 3 day event. They also anounced that next year is going to be the last Bronycon and that they are ending the event in 2019. You could feel the moment where everybody's hearts broke. There were a lot of people crying. I was pretty choked up too, and I'm honestly not sure how I kept myself together. We walked back to the hotel. While we were waiting for the elevators, you could tell the mood was pretty sombre. Dropped off my bag and went back down to the lobby to wait for Andy and Sam. We all headed down to the inner harbor to go to Bubba Gumps. We had a hour and a half wait, that we spent hanging out in the harbor and the pavillion. One of them seemed to be closed this year. They seem to get smaller and smaller each year. Bubba Gumps as always was fantastic. I got the usual Shrimper's Heaven. Even got to eat the shrimp that Sam didn't eat. Bonus shrimp! Spent 60$ on my check and regret nothing. We went back to the hotel with the intent of playing some Shipfic in the one banquet room the hotel usually has open, which we did! Another group played the pony movie which was neat. We also saw an Insomnia Cookies down in Fells Point so we decided to order some. It took a little more than an hour. But I got the call and they showed up to the hotel and handed me a very warm box. The cookies were fantastic. Every bit worth the wait. I think I have one somewhere relatively close to my home but I'm nowhere near the delivery radius. Probably a good thing because I would go broke buying cookies. They're pretty awesome. Some guy had also had a baby skunk! No idea how he pulled that off or how the hotel was cool with it but it was really cute. Once the movie ended most of the people left. After that we went back to our rooms. Me and Sam got a group picture of all the pillows we bought. I packed most of my stuff after that and went to bed.
Monday.
Woke up, got the car all packed and cleared the rooms pretty quick. We had thought to do some other stuff, but we really didn't have time. Instead we went to Tir na nog and just hung out until we had to leave. Any day you can be mildly drunk before noon and have it not be a problem is a good day. We dropped Sam off at the airport after saying our goodbyes. We hit the road after that and started our journey home. Which was honestly fairly uneventful. No one's windsheild broke. No one's catalytic converter got stolen. We made a couple of stops but nothing really interesting. Got home way earlier than I'm used to. Like 5:30-6PM. And then I realized, Bed, Bath and Beyond was still open. So I drove out there to get the actual pillows for the pillow cases. Found the exact ones the guy at the booth I bought them from. They were on sale, so they were only 20$. Then I had the fun time of fitting 3 hugeass pillows in my really tiny car. Got back home and finished unpacking.  
Conclude:
I had a really good time this year. It was very a relaxing trip and I enjoyed spending time with everybody. It never quite feels long enough. I didn't make any real attempt at cosplaying this year. Just didn't really feel into it. I did wear my Sylveon ears that were given to me by a friend though. And I had my goggles, which are just kind of a thing now I guess. I tied a blue ribbon in my hair too. I never do anything with it and I guess I decided now was the time. I think I'm going to do that more often from now on. Next, I am beyond incredibly sad that next year is the last one. Bronycon has been one of the big things I look forward to doing each year. It's easily been one of the best cons I've ever been to. The atmosphere was great, the staff was great. The con ending will also mark the end of a 12 year tradition for me of going down to Baltimore for a con. The only year I wasn't able to go to was 2010 because there was just no way I was going to be able to swing it. Aside from that, I went to Otakon from 2006 until 2012. I had honestly kinda burned out on that though and wasn't sure if I was gonna go back, but it would be shortly after returning from the 2012 Otakon, Bronycon announced that they were gonna move to the Baltimore Convention Center in 2013. Some other friends were interested in going, and since I knew the area so well, we decided to go for it. I went every year after that. Hell, it's how I ended up meeting Andy (which is a pretty funny story all on it's own), it's also how I ended up recconecting with another friend of mine from way back in the day as well as others. There were good times and adventures to be had outside the Con as well. Bubba Gumps, the bar trot in Fells Point(that goddamn Trixie drink, looked like something I'd never have been able to drink, but it is easily my favorite alcoholic drink that has ever existed. I really hope I can get the recipe next year), the bigass barnes and noble, the aquarium, the pavillion. It seems like every year it gets better and I've never felt bored of it or burned out. I am going to miss this immensely, I suppose I'll have to find another con to go to, or atleast other adventures to have but one thing is for sure, I'm never going to forget any of this. All the good times that we've had, or this big thing I've been a part of or this place that has brought me so much joy over the years.
(Once next year ends and I walk out of that convention center for the last time, I am going to be a complete goddamn mess. It's going to be a terrible day for rain...)
Also, though I don't know if you'll ever read it, as I don't think we've spoken in several years now, to the person who convinced me to go to that first Otakon back in '06, Thank you. For introducing me to this place, and setting off a real wacky series of adventures. I don't know if any of this would have happened if you hadn't convinced me to come down here all those years ago. Once again, thank you, and I hope you're doing well.
tl;dr Good fuckin' con, but Pete fuckin' sad.
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a-tired-bass · 6 years
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i’ve been tagged by @greyjioys​! Yes, questions!
LAST:
drink? Milk
phone call? Dad probably - I only ever actually call people for logistics stuff. All my other communication is over text or discord
text message? So i’m subscribed to a twitter feed called Dog Feelings, so if my last text wasn’t from them, it’s a rare day indeed
song you listened to? Choir music. I’ve got performances over the weekend so I’m playing our set-list on loop
time you cried? Proper cried? Couple of weeks. Needed to cry, couple of days. Been having trouble letting emotions loose recently
HAVE YOU:
dated someone twice? Nope
kissed someone and regretted it? I’m... not really certain on that one
been cheated on? Yes
lost someone special? Yes
been depressed? Yes
gotten drunk and thrown up? Only once. Never drinking that much again
THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
Deep blues, rich reds, and black
IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:
made new friend? I have! Some might even stick around :P Curse of transient uni semester mates
fallen out of love? Yes
laughed until you cried? Yes
found out someone was talking about you? Yeah. I introduced my mum to the choir manager - cause gig venue and events and stuff - and it’s weird hearing them talk about me indirectly sometimes
meet someone who changed you? Yes
kissed someone on your Facebook list? Only one, but they are no longer on my facebook list
GENERAL:
how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl? The vast majority. There might be a couple I don’t know at this point, and of course since it’s been so long since I’ve seen many of them it’s effectively moot
do you want to change your name? Nah
what did you do for your last birthday? Nothing. I haven’t actually ‘celebrated’ a birthday in many years. It’s just a day at home usually
what time do you wake up? Anywhere betwen 7 and 10am atm. It used to be 7 on the dot, but i’ve been pushing it later with sleep ins and my insomnia 
what were you doing at midnight last night? Games, of course. That or watching videos of people playing games
something you can’t wait for? Summer to be over. I’m dying here
last time you saw your mom? Many weeks. I’m looking forward to seeing her again in a couple of days though
what is one thing you wish you could change in your life? My health. Whether that be physical or mental, I don’t really care, I just want one of them to improve
what are you listening to right now? Choir set list. On loop. My brain is dying for this prep
have you every talked to a person named tom? Multiple. One of my best friends as a child was Tom, before he moved to England. We rarely chat nowadays, and it’s kinda weird
something that is getting on your nerves? My dad is always getting on my nerves. He never does any cleaning
most visited websites? Gmail, Facebook, Tumblr, Youtube, Reddit (and only in that particular order because it thats the order of my bookmarks, not their order of use)
OTHER INFO:
mole/s? Yeah, I have a couple. They’re hard to distinguish amongst the freckles though
marks? Of course there are marks on my skin. Scars, freckles, stretch marks, you name it
childhood dream? I was one of those stereotypical things that wanted to be an astronaut. Or a fairy. Or Sailor Moon.
hair color? Brown
long or short hair? Long!!!!
do you have a crush? Just 1 persistent one
what do you like about yourself? My voice, when I’m not hearing it in recordings :P
piercings? No
blood type? Absolutely no idea
nickname? Daz mostly, otherwise my gaming moniker
relationship? I wish....
zodiac? Capricorn
pronouns? He/Him
favorite TV show? Brooklyn 99 holds that spot
tattoos? Nah. I’ve never been committed enough to one. I’ve thought about it a bunch, but...
right or left handed? Right
surgery? I’ve been in surgery a bunch of times. It’s rarely good. One time was really interesting though - they were using a type of anathesia that doesn’t necessarily knock you out, just makes you super relaxed, on top of a local anathesia. I was awake during parts of the surgery, in which they had taken a wire, put it in my leg and travelled it up to my heart in order to play with it using electricity. Having your heart beat outside of normal volition is a seriously weeeeeird feeling
dyed hair? No. I tried once and it didn’t stay at all. Maybe one day
sport? Far less than I should? I’m not an active sporty person (though I used to be deep in one area of esports) so I do far less than is good for me
vacation? God there are so many places I want to go to, and right now, ALL of them are in much colder climates or in winter. I’m dying down here
sneakers? Ummmm. I don’t know. I don’t wear them like, ever.
MORE GENERAL:
eating? Last thing I ate was a biscuit. The next thing I eat will be a biscuit. I am currently eating biscuits
drinking? Water
waiting for? Summer to be over. Pleeeeease
want: A hug
career? I don’t really know. Something music i’ve decided though
get married? I suppose. The concept of marriage doesn’t excite me, but the ideal of marriage being with soemone you want to spend the rest of your life with? yes please
hugs or kisses? As a form of greeting? Hugs are more common here
lips or eyes? Eyes
shorter or taller? I think shorter girls are cute if that counts?
older or younger? Younger
nice arms or nice stomach? I’d be happy getting rid of my tummy fat. Lack of buffness doesn’t really bother me
sensitive or loud? I’m somewhere in the middle
hook up or relationship? Relationship absolutely. I am NOT a hookup person.
troublemaker or hesitant? I’m only hesitant in my brain, or when talking about emotions
HAVE YOU EVER:
kissed a stranger? No
drank hard liquor? Yes. Preferred drink in fact
lost glasses? Sunglasses. Made me super sad, because finding sunglasses that fit me is really hard, I have a wonky head
turned someone down? As if i’d ever even been asked
sex on the first date? God no
broken someone’s heart? Fuck that. They broke mine
had your heart broken? Yeah
been arrested? No
cried when someone died? Yes.
fallen for a friend? I guess??? I don’t think it affects our friendship, and they’re aware of it
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
yourself? No
miracles? Nope
love at first sight? Definitely not
santa claus? Funny story, I stopped believing in religion before I stopped believing in Santa Claus
Other:
kiss on the first date? Very unlikely
current best friend? Probs Harry and Jake
eye color? Blue! I like my eyes
favorite movie? ‘Tangled’. It makes me happy
Let’s tag... @uniqueic3cream​ and @aches-and-paeans
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thehalfworld · 6 years
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Fanfic MST: ITS MY LIFE!, a Portal fanfic [part 12]
Oh yes, friends, it’s back! It’s been entirely too long (two years too long, to be exact) and I hope you’re all ready for some more vaguely Portal-flavored nonsense. 
No real warnings for this chapter, just typical MarissaTheWriter ridiculousness. And canon character death, maybe, depending on whether or not you take the events of this chapter at face value (and, if I remember this story correctly, you probably shouldn’t).
Recap: Chell and GLaDOS have fused into one entity, P-body is pregnant, and Marissa for some reason decided that Rattman is the only one who can prevent disaster even though dude is strictly a non-action guy. She located him and now the two of them are planning on taking down the Chell/GLaDOS fusion.
Chapter 1
Previous chapter
AN YOU GUYSARE ALL SO WEIRD! YOU WERE GIVIN ME GOOD REVIEWS THEN YOU SAY IM A TROLL AN THAT YUR GONNA KILL ME AN PUT SALT IN MY THINGS? 
That is pretty weird, yeah. 
(I’m not even sure what she’s referencing. Maybe a play on “assault”?)
IF IT WERENT FOR THE PEPOLE HOO REALLY LICK MY STORY LIKE THE BUZINESS GUY AN SEPHRAL AN CAT NOT BOUNCY ID STOP IT RITE NOW!
I dunno who Sephral is, but “the buziness guy” is user ASBusinessMagnet (later a recurring character in MarissaTheWriter’s stories; I’m pretty sure we got married at one point), and “Cat Not Bouncy” is Tumblr user catbountry, who was going by “Not Cat Bountry” on Fanfiction dot net and who did a dramatic reading.
PS - I NO THAT GLADOS IS SPELLED GLADOS I CALLED HER FUSION CHELLGADOS BECOS CHELL ALREADY HAS THE LS AN IT SOUNDED MORE COOLER!
See, I told you she’d explain that. All makes sense now, right? Perfectly logical writing decision.
ITS MY LIFE!
CHAPTER TWELF: THE FINAL BATTLE
Bit of a misnomer, since this is not, in fact, the final chapter.
(Actually, if I remember correctly, MarissaTheWriter may have been writing by the seat of her pants; it’s possible she initially intended this as the True and Honest Final Battle.)
Ratman an I were goin thru the air ducks to get to CHELLGADOSs layer were the final show down wold be. 
Oh my god, she means her lair, not her layer. That literally took me years to figure out. Holy fuck.
Wheatly was growlin an tryin to be scarry becos he didant have weapons so he was lick are cheer leader. 
Considering what happens when Wheatley actually tries to be the bad guy, I think this is preferable.
We intered the layer an saw CHELLGADOS buildin turrents but these ones was speshal becos they cold walk a round an shoot an stuff! 
Hey, I played Portal 2, I saw the turret assembly line. It’s pretty much autonomous. She doesn’t have to build them herself, and honestly I think she’d find it beneath her.
But maybe things have changed since I left the building.
"INTURDER!" One of the turrents called to CHELLGADOS. CHELLGADOS looked at me with all the angry she ever had.
That’s a phenomenal amount of anger. Surprised Marissa didn’t combust on the spot.
"Marrissa Roberts you have interfeared with my plans for the last time becos now I will kill you." 
All right! Time for some murder!
Then she seed Ratman an got more angry. "RATMAN IS A LIFE? NOW YOU WILL BOTH DYE!" 
I doubt she cares about killing Rattman, considering that she didn’t do so before and that he poses basically no threat on his own. Like I said… non-action guy.
CHELLGADOS taked out her portal gun wich was modified to shoot bullets lick a reel gun but cold shoot portals to just in case. 
Okay, but does it really shoot bullets? I ask because the turrets use spring-loaded action in order to fire the entire bullet, which is obviously a hell of a lot less effective despite delivering more bullet per bullet. Explains why Chell can take so many hits without dying.
Point being, there’s no evidence Aperture Science knows how guns are supposed to work.
She fired the portal gun an it hit Ratman with a boom an I thot he was dead for sure.
But Ratman gotted up! 
What? Is he still alive?
"Silly CHELLGADOS you cannt hurt me becos..." He pulled down his pants an I saw that he had replased his man thingys with... the space an rick cores! 
…I know we’re leading up to a “balls of steel” joke, and I shan’t comment on that, but this raises so many goddamn questions. How do you replace your testicles with personality cores? A personality core is a hell of a lot bigger, and heavier, than a human testicle. Also, Space Core is in space, so how did Rattman get ahold of him? Did he shrink the cores somehow? How did this make him immune to bullets? How did he fit two personality cores in his pants? Why did he need to flash everybody?
My brain is hurting over this and I know it’s only in the story because the author wanted to make a stupid pun. Moving the hell on.
"IVE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!" (Thats from a game called Duke Nukum Forever its funny) The space core was still thing he was in space but Rick was mad at been one off Ratmans tentacles. 
One of his tentacles? Are we in a hentai now?
"Well then ill just portal you into space like Wheatly an see how you like it you wont!" CHELLGADOS shooted a nother portal unner Ratmans feet an he was sucked into s space. "No dont you are my dotter Chell!" Ratman yelled as he got sucked in.
Uh… what? How? I thought Marissa and Chell were both Cave and Caroline’s kids in this story. Wasn’t that established several chapters ago?
"OMG HOW?" CHELLGADOS an me said at the same time to gether. "It all storted a long time ago..." Ratman gave us the down lo as he was just barely hanging on to the portal. "I used to work for Gabe Jonson affer he changed his name to Cave in onor of his dead brother. Caroline was got shot as you no Marrissa an was put in a robot body that was called... GLaDOS!" 
Right, we know. How is he hanging on to the portal? Can you do that? I don’t think you can do that.
CHELLGADOS o-mouthed at his shockin words. 
Did she forget she spent the beginning of this story being a goth emo over the revelation that she used to be human? Like… this isn’t news anymore.
"Gabe new he wold have to dotters named Marrissa an Chell but since GLaDOS was a prototip she an Cave coldnt make baby normal way an instead used the artificial enseamanation an grew test toob babys. 
Hey, what the fuck is the “normal way” to have sex with a giant robot? Seriously, please inbox me if you know. It’s for a friend. I swear.
But there was a miksup an my dna got used instead of Gabes for one of the toobs that toob was... CHELL!" Then Rutman coldnt hold on any longer an fell into space an died.
Why did Aperture Science have a sperm sample from Rattman on file? How did they get DNA from Caroline, since her physical human body no longer exists? How does Rattman know about the mixup? Who carried the baby to term? How did two white people birth a woman of color? How did two white people birth a woman of color? I don’t know if I brought this up earlier in the MST, but I am directing that question at every “Chell is Cave and Caroline’s daughter” theorist too. You’re not off the fucking hook.
Then CHELLGADOS started shackin an looked funny. Chell was fightin back a gainst GLaDOSs control! "Marrissa there is not much time left you must kill me to stopped GLaDOS once and four all!" 
Okay, but we know what happens when Marissa kills Chell — thanks to having consumed the “zombie taters,” Chell will just turn into a zombie. You don’t want the most tenacious woman in the world after your brains, but especially not when she’s fused with the most massive collection of wisdom to ever exist, who also hates you.
I o-mouthed becos Chells brane damage was cured so now I coldnt put her out of MISERY lol. 
That’s actually not the concern I expected Marissa to have. She has no problem killing disabled people, but being fused with a homicidal AI who is using your body as her puppet is A-OK, even when the victim is begging for death?
Man, this girl could use some new priorities.
"But I cannt kill you Chell yur my sister there must be a nother way! Chell got sad "Hurry GLaDOS is takin control!" An she started lollin with evil. There was no way I cold kill Chell an then I rembered that GLaDOS used to be Carlion an that made me not want to kill herr neither.
Yeah, and remember how she used to be a well-written and complex character who cannot be reduced to a mere villain and who actually likes Chell so much she keeps writing songs about it?
Sorry, there I go talking about canon again.
"Bloody hell Marrissa shes powerin up!" Wheatly screemed from inside my jump soot an I looked up an saw CHELLGADOS was floatin in air an electric stuff was comin out off her. "THANKS MARRISSA YUO REMINDED ME THAT I USED TO BE CARALIN SO I REMBERED THAT I HAVE POWERS TOO!" 
Hey, uh, what the fuck? 
I o-mouthed, that dumb ingineer forgot to make it so only I gotted the powers! I didant no what to do now an it seemed hope less when a herd a sound. "Hey b**** were heer for backup!" It was... ATLAS AN P-BODY!
Who are they here to back up?
"OMG why are you jersk helpin me?" I asked while o-mouthin from the shock. "Becos CHELLGADOS is half yur sister an we dont lick you so we dont lick Chell neither!" Atlas eksplained. "An I rembered that you gave us the drugs an beer in the first place so if it wasnt for you we woldnt have drugs an beer!" P-Body added an Atlas nodded like yeah! 
I guess that’s reasonable. I, too, feel indebted to those who give me drugs and beer.
We started ti fire are portal guns at CHELLGADOS an the portals combined to make a big portal black hole.
Co-op mode would benefit from the inclusion of this feature, I think.
"OH SH**!" CHELLGADOS screamed as the GLaDOS parts were all sucked out off Chell. 
Should have attached them better, I guess.
Ones all of GLadOS was gone we closed the portal an Chell falled down on the ground. "Chell I safed you!" I rant to my sister an gave her hug. "Marrissa Im sorry, but the damaje from GLaDOS was to much..."
“…not to mention, having my butt sliced off after someone used their powers a little too recklessly…”
An she dyed in my arms. "Nooooo Chell my sister you are died!" I cried soooo much an Whealty cried to becos they was frends even Atlas an P-Body looked kinna sad.
Isn’t Chell gonna turn into a zombie now or are we not doing the zombie stuff anymore? Was that only because she was brain-damaged? This fic is confusing.
I put down Chells body an stand up when there was a clikclak nose be hind me.
Oh no! Not a clikclak nose!
"LOL we tricked you to get yur guard down Marrissa! Now die b****!" An Atlas an P-Body lolled an shot me in head.
I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I love that the author of this mess has no problem writing over-the-top violence but feels the need to censor the word “bitch.”
"Marrissa!" Wheatly screamed an ever thing got really black an I died.
Love the prose.
TO BE CONTINUED?
Yes, indeed, we’re not done with this fic yet!
OH NO MARRISSA IS DIED!
Oh, yes.
CAN WHEATLY SAFE HER?
Well, seeing as she’s dead, I think it may be a bit late for that.
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ONE PS IM THINKIN OF MAYBE WRITIN A SPINNOFF A BOUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 AN GABE JONSON AN CARALION LIVIN IN PORTAL HIGH SCHOOL WHAT DO YOU GUYS THIN?
She actually did write that spinoff, by the way. I’ll put my MST of it up on this blog at some point.
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