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lucysarah-c · 1 year

Text

Stoppers

Summary: Levi feels overwhelming jealous and decides that nothing better to set things clear of who owns who than a good old fucking

WARNINGS: SMUT, HEAVILY EXPLICIT CONTEXT. Levi x reader. Dubious concent, Degradation, spitting, oral sex, oral male sex, harsh sex, vaginal sex. Top Levi. Sub Yn. UNSAFE SEX, don't be silly guys wear condoms not like Levi here. Desk sex. Canon universe. Dirty talk. Smut. Praise kink. Possessive behaviour. Possessive sex. Rough sex. Breeding kink.

Context: Y/n and Erwin used to flirt but it never reached far. They broke up before anything happened. Y/n and Levi began to have a relationship, Levi was her first. Levi get overwhelmingly jealouse. THIS takes place before Erwin becomes a commander or Levi a captain BUT, after the events of ACWNR.

I wrote this to practise smut for my main multichapter Levi fic, this my 4th smut so be nice lol. I'm self concious of my smuts so... practice makes perfect. This could be consider an spin off from my fanfic Holy Ground.

Thats it... in case I forget any warning or tag, feel free to tell me.

She was so happy, the way she jiggled and did a little dance in her place during lunch. The smile from one ear to another, it was absurdly big for her face. Levi just admired from the other side of the table, the glass (that was actually made of wood) of water close to his lips and he couldn’t help to smile a little bit. If she was happy then he was too, it was as simple as that.

“I’m going to be in charge, I’m going to be in charge” She repeated almost mockingly but also cheeky, as if it was a little kid showing off their win.

“The commander will still be around, don’t forget that,” Hange reassured the girl, who was getting ahead of herself, with it. The brunette was smiling tired as if they were the mother who succumb to the idea and wasn’t getting as much credit as they should “I agreed to Erwin to this, don’t forget that either”

“Yes Yes! Thank you!” The girl hastily agreed.

“She’s not listening to me,” Hange said while chuckling bitterly.

“She’s definitely not listening to you,” Levi agreed with them.

Y/N squealed again, gritting her teeth as the emotion was too much to handle. Erwin was leaving for a week to the capital and he had just announced to her that she could fill his work during his absence. Not that he was letting her do any actual leading work but more like not letting his paperwork accumulate and make sure everybody delivered their part on time.

Those were the crumbs of Erwin’s job, even when he wasn’t officially the commander yet and Shadis was still around, but it was the biggest official responsibility the girl was getting tastes off and she was enjoying it as there was no idea. It was a high state to be in, not only for the responsibility but also for the relief. Not only hers but everyone else. ‘War is over’

It was a shared alleviation, with both of them on good terms. The trench war that had fallen upon everybody during winter had been lifted. ‘They are in good terms, not a couple but good terms and that’s what it matter,’

They were over, both. Y/N was secretly dating Levi but it was like a whispered fact. They didn’t give any sort of hint that they could be together but people could feel it, or at least those who wanted to believe it. Erwin on the other hand was playing the mature party, the ‘we are comrades of many years and also friends, let's keep the friendship’.

Then, once the not hostile interactions began again people were quick to question him ‘Are you two back together?’ and the answer was always ‘We had always been friends, that’s what we are,’

Levi wondered if it hurted the blond, at the beginning it was obvious but time heals everything… right?

That was another hard edge of the polygon that this situation was. Levi and Erwin had been setting the base of a good comrades and friendship relationship. What was an enmity when the short man came to the scouts, became a mutual respect and, then it evolved to both starting to get along. What felt a disinterest of the blond’s romantic situation with his actual girlfriend become a ‘I’m fucking his ex behind his back’.

Not that Levi regretted it but he wasn’t used to that, playing those sort of games and the guiltiness of not being the mature party to set things clear made him grim uneasy. ‘I own him an explanation’

“Should I pay for the cleaning service or the first time is free?” Erwin questioned, entertained, as Levi, who came to deliver some papers, got overwhelmed with the state of the office and began to clean on pure will.

“How the fuck can you work in the state this place is in? When was the last time you brushed the fucking dust from this shelfs?” Levi, who was already in a whole rampage of cleaning duties, complained.

“I’m doing my job, Shadis’ job and trying to make sure the scouts aren’t erased from the military… I’ve not had time recently to keep the space tidy,” Erwin excused himself while he went back to work on his desk.

From his peripheral view, he could see the agile and tiny shadow of Levi moving around the office, murmuring to himself and clicking his tongue like a mother who says ‘nobody helps me in this house?! what are you going to do the day I am no longer here?’

“This is not the first time you have this shitty load of work, I’ve never seen your office this fucking pigsty,” Levi lectured again and as soon as he said it, he regret it.

“Well… mh,” Erwin doubtful tried to find the politically correct and ambiguous answer “Someone else took care of it before,”

They both knew the reality to that. Levi didn’t insist because he was one of the reasons that person wasn’t doing these duties anymore. The blond also joined in the mood. This time, silently, Levi kept carrying on his previous activities. Without an actual team to lead and had finished training cadets in the morning, his afternoons were quiet and relaxed.

“If you don’t want me to mess up your stuff, say it now beforeI lose my boundaries,” The shorter man clarified as he had finished tidying up the place.

Only the office was suffering the rampage of his obsessive behavior but the attached bathroom and bedroom felt off limits. The future captain wanted to respect those boundaries.

“Erwin,” He insisted.

“Sorry, what?” The blond raised his attention from the papers to look at the other man then, as he processed the words , he replied “Oh yeah, please, feel free.”

“You sure? even the room and the bathroom?”

“I’ll clean every corner…” he insisted.

“You’ll make me a huge favour,”

Erwin chuckled a bit dry “I don’t know what you think I hide in my personal chambers but yeah, go ahead,”

Those words kept resonating in Levi’s head. His pale fingers folded the laundry and then found a place for them in the wardrobe. Between the tide of uniforms, bluish and purplish pieces of clothes there was a striking colour at the back of it. Levi, who was kneeled on the ground to tidy up the bottom of the closet, didn’t give credit to his own eyes.

Behind boxes that probably had special occasion outfits that were worth keeping separated from the rest. Behind the couple pairs of spare training boots, behind some perfumes, behind some tightly squeezed sweaters that he wasn’t wearing during this hot season, behind all that there was something that had a pastel pink ribbon.

That was all Levi saw between the space of the hanging laces of the spare boots. The colour was striking, nothing like the rest. It was so back in the wardrobe, so covered up, so squeezed on the deepest corner that it screamed ‘I’m a secret’

But Levi had been there before searching for secrets, back when Isabel and Furlan were still around and if that pink thing ‘whatever that is’ had been there, he would have seen it. There was something so particular about that shade of pink with golden tiny letters on the edges. He had seen those before, he knew exactly what that was the second his eyes landed on it.

His pale hand slowly but surely penetrated to the back of the wardrobe, reached the pink ribbon and pulled from it. The champagne coloured cardboard bag had the name of the expensive Sina’s wall clothes shop that his, his, girlfriend liked so much. The subtle rose pearl ribbon was tying the opening of the bag. The satin fabric of it shined gracefully in the light of the room and felt like velvet under Levi’s finger as he pulled from it.

Usually, he was known for his stoic uninterested expression but right there, he was lost in the process. His lips slightly parted, his hands grabbed and pulled out part of the items inside of the bag. A perfume, hygiene stuff, a cute thick baby blue dress, stockings, what seemed to be pyjamas, a thick knitted cardigan, cute soft and pretty rose pearl underwear.

He didn’t need to get it closer to his face to smell it, it stinked with his girlfriend’s perfume. He didn’t need to check the size of it, because he knew it by heart. He didn’t need to question where he got it from because Levi already knew.

Morning before leaving to the former HQ of the scouts for their winter break, their winter break. Before the ball, before all the shit that went down. Her, his sweet baby girl, carrying on that cardboard bag on her elbow as she delivered Erwin’s breakfast. The cardboard bag with the clothes for the morning after the ball, the morning that was meant to happen but never did. The morning after everything was planned for them to lay together for the first time. That cardboard bag.

It hit him like a bulk of ice water. The simple thought of those ridiculously expensive clothes that his girlfriend wore lying there as a dirty secret made him want to throw up in range.

‘What do you do with her fucking clothes? you jerk off? you sniff them? to keep them as a last hope or a lost dream? you keep them… you keep my woman’s clothes. You, you who said you moved on, you who said that you just wanted her as friends’

Levi, who had plenty of sex but non relationships before this, was the only authorised to keep Y/N’s clothes aside from herself, obviously. Because those were her clothes in his place. He felt it possessing his body, the rage. The thought of his innocent angel talking to the blond and him observing her to keep memory for later on, later on when he may grab those stockings and stroke his dick with them.

‘if this was the underground…’ Levi said to himself ‘I would have cut your dick off and fed it to the dogs, then I would have made you bed for it,’

Levi gritted his teeth so hard that they began to make a crackly sound against themselves, painfully almost.

The anger was clouding his judgement, he knew that Erwin was much more than just his girl's ex and so that made the thought stop there… a mere thought. ‘We are not in the underground,’ Levi remind to himself. While down there taking matters into bloody hands was the norm, and the recommended if you wanted to keep your own head safe and send the message; Levi was smart enough to quiet himself down.

‘I need to be subtle like this surface assholes yet assertive’

He was quick to place everything right as it was, hide the crime scene and Levi had cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene. Once the door opened, he was just making the bed.

“You want tea?” Erwin's approach was friendly, perhaps happy that Levi was finally easing out between both.

“Sure”

His face was stoic as usual, the voice was monotone as it should be but the eyes. Erwin was a clever man and he noticed the change of attitude, those silver ones were aiming for blood.

“Everything alright?” the commander in line questioned.

“If by alright you mean the mess you have in this fucking place,” Levi replied and moved to the door of the room as he knew the tea was going to be at the office.

“Ah, sorry,” Erwin chuckled, slightly imprinting a ‘non-aggressive’ attitude.

‘Calm down, calm down,’ his head repeated ‘I had always liked to save the best bite for last, savour the taste,’

But the overwhelming feeling of foreign anger was a demon possession. Y/N was his first romantic partner and he had made it clear that she was the last one. Dealing with the necessity of making clear that something was ‘mine, mine and only mine’ and the overtaking greedy green demon of jealousy was something he wasn’t used to.

Especially since they were trying to keep it as a secret. Like an optical illusion that once you see it, you can’t undo it. Levi felt his trust in any aspect of the matter abandoned his rational side, Erwin wasn’t trustful around his girl. His girl. How his large hand would land on the bottom of her back as he squeezed to pass through on a tricky small corridor.

‘Why doesn’t he stuck his hand on his fucking asshole before touching her?”

Or the little tap on her shoulders as he appeared to reach for a book she was jumping for. Her pounding expression as he messed up with her height. The smile he gave her, the adoring eyes of a lost lover. Levi felt as if he was losing his mind.

“You alright?” Hange questioned, concerned next to him during dinner as he had dead eyes, that type of expression he usually saved to hunt titans outside of the walls.

“Yeah,” He quickly replied but the pressure his fingertips put against the palm of his hands wasn’t healthy or painless. They were walking back to the blond’s office, for more paperwork before his trip. Levi hadn’t even mentioned to her, he kept it to himself. But if he had to declare it to her, he would have say “I trust you! I don’t trust him,”

‘I can’t take the bag away, he will notice,’ Levi replayed the options in his head as his insomnia kept him up at his shared room in the male barracks.

The simple thought of those clothes pure as a white dove laying in Erwin’s personal chambers was driving him nuts. They smelled like innocence because that was what she was before Levi stepped in, and that innocence was something she gave up for him. It was his gift, Levi was the man that made her feel safe enough. Erwin had no right in keeping a little fragment of that innocence.

‘Maybe he forgot to give it back,’ His only rational size tried to fight back the overtaking of his soul ‘Please, he had over half an year to give them back. Those clothes weren’t forgotten, they were laying perfectly saved and protected there. There were kept with love, with affection, with lust’

His memory recalled that time that someone dared to cut Isabel’s hair and how quick he was to kill them. ‘I’ve grown soft’

‘We are not in the underground anymore,’

He waited for his dessert patiently so the third day of Erwin’s absence, he insisted on delivering papers to his office. She was there, immaculate, and sat down on a chair that looked absurdly big for her. Y/N smiled brightly when he crossed the room, submerged in paperwork. Trying to give more than just her best performance, prove she was worthy of such responsibility.

“Hey there” her voice was soft and excited, it held the kind of feelings that being in love could only. It bothered him how much it made him tremble inside, getting her adoration gaze upon him.

“I made you tea,” Levi said as if the tray with it wasn’t enough information and then added “And more paperwork,”

She groaned a complaint and stood up, the chair was pushed backwards to hit the window on the back. Her slightly bending position over the desk as she tried to add perspective to the strategy plans that she was analysing. If she hadn't been so lost in her work, she would have noticed the lock click or the tray left at a side round table and not at the desk.

The pencil in her rosy lips moved from one side to the other as she studied the situation. The candle burned steady on the upper right corner and the window revealed the dark panorama of the training forest. It was late, late enough for cadets to be on curfew and superiors crawling back to their chambers.

“You’re getting yourself overwork, let him have some shit to do when he comes back,” Levi said. His finger brushed her hair out of the way, scooping it to her right side and making the hairs of her neck raise.

She hummed as Levi grabbed the sides of her hips and pushed them backwards, her cheeks resting on top of his groin as his fingers tried to feel the flesh of her thighs through the uniform.

“Oi, I’m talking to you,” He insisted as she kept her attention on the blueprints.

With the neck exposed he began to kiss and gently suck the sweet stop of it right where the jaw met the neck. Taking his time nibbling the left shoulder and the collarbone as his left hand left the hip and pushed the white shirt she was wearing to a side.

Her humble mixed with a repressed moan resonated, her hand trying to push the one that remained securing her hips, “I’ve a lot to do,” was her first attempt to brush it off, “I need to focus, Levi,” she insisted.

His lips were persistent trailing her shoulders to her neck, as the nibbling became playful bites that made him dip his teeth slightly deeper.

She chuckled, “Stop it,” without any conviction in it. Her teeth pressured slightly on her bottom lip as she enjoyed the demanded attention from her lover. Levi’s sucking the tender parts made her escape a shy moan.

“Miss L/N? I’m retiring for the day,” a strong knock at the door of an office that wasn’t hers and the voice of a soldier on the other side made her come back to her senses.

“Sure, you’re dismissed from activities John,” She replied quickly readjusting her shirt, ashamed. Levi’s patronising hand didn’t leave her hips which made her turn around frowning seriously.

“Stop it, you’re insane if you think we will do anything here,” she whispered.

Y/N had hardly initiated anything before, her girlhood lost only a couple of months. Therefore Levi had always been the controlling one and, aside from his personal preferences, kept it vanilla. She was a little delicate Sina’s wall flower, unused to the rough handling and a taste made for sweets.

Levi’s pale slender finger tapped rhythmically the bones of her hips that he refused to let go and little could she do against his power. Thoughtful, he observed intensely making her pale. Silver piercing eyes in the search of any weakness.

She glazed around, “I-I don’t want to disobey him,”

Levi’s stoic expression remained outside, but he could feel his core burn with irritation. The mere thought of Erwin’s feelings or wishes holding privilege over him made him tutted.

“Oh,” a breathless mock, baring teeth as the clench of anger turned into a smirk. Levi allowed a chuckle to escape momentarily before humming “So it’s a matter of orders?”

The sudden change of attitude made her turn around completely, “Well yeah…” she hesitated “He’s… my future commander,”

The dark haired man frowned intensely, each word filled the fire that burned him from inside.

“No, no,” his voice was passive and quiet but deep. His movements were casual, as he raised a hand to touch his jaw, wondering or pretending that he did. Before the same hand grabbed her soft face, pressuring the cheeks together as his thumb caressed her lips. They began to turn so scarlet with blood rushing in. This thumb pushed her bottom lip down as he admired the inside without rush, he had all the time of the world.

The girl, on the other hand, timidly tried to remain still as her mind battled the idea of comprehending what was going on.

“I’m the man you answer to, I own this pampered little body of yours,” Levi’s voice got authoritarian as it got firm, not excitement whatsoever as if he held all the power. Why the rush or the strength if he already knew who was in charge “If I say that we are fucking here, with me bending you over this polished desk so I can fuck you harsher and steadier than in a bed, to the point the only shit you can do is part your legs wider trying to fit me in that slutty tight cunt. The only possible answer from you is asking if I want my cock sucked first.”

“You’re getting it all wrong, sweetheart,” His voice was steady and patronising, as he was talking to a child. “He’s not your commander, he’s nothing of you and you’re all mine.”

The push on her chin to make the head bend downwards, forcing her eyes to look up.

She was in a complete blank state, Levi had never behaved like this before. But she felt her heart thudding, was all she could feel aside from the saliva accumulate. The thought that she may have been biting more than she could chew echoed at the distance. Her body filled with the stupidness of bravery, the shameless intrigued to know how far this could go. Poisoning curiosity clouded her judgement as Levi’s voice deepened with husk.

The only few inches that made Levi taller than her felt like feets. The strength that he showed off in the training grounds felt like completely put into the grip of her cheeks and this new version of him, that she wasn’t entirely sure from where it came from, was making her lose concentration. She had always liked Levi’s dominant nature, sure but this? She felt like she was a prey getting cornered as her aggressor wetted his lips to the thought of having her as a whole course meal.

Tired of pampered little daddy’s princess, it was time for her to learn how to please him properly. To take what he had to give and be grateful for it. They had spoiled her rotten, it was his duty to show her the place where she belonged. And that was keeping his cock wet and warm.

Words were trapped in her tight throat as her mind spinned around, trying to grasp the situation as Levi did her face. Hazily shy tongue tasted the salty feeling of the man’s thumb. The hash texture of the teeth under his digit, the velvet feeling of her tongue and the witness of her mouth around it. Enough to almost make him blush or smirk, no holding back, no anymore.

“Good girl,” Levi’s puffed heated whisper made her tremble.

Glittery eyes, the embarrassment was unfurling in her rosy cheeks. Ashamed of how much it made her feel tight and warm but yet as if there was a place inside her that wasn’t filled properly. The deepness and reassurance of his tone, she wanted to hear it forever. On repeat until it was the only word she knew.

The whiddraw of his finger, only to add two more. Index and middle pushing deeper as she voluntarily ran her tongue under them. Hollowing cheeks as the pulling sensation pushed Levi’s finger deeper. The spit filled her mouth as it got wider. The pressure those digits did against her tongue as they adventured deeper, pushing her jaw and tongue downwards as they curled at the end, forcing gag reflex. Her mental will of keep sucking as brushing her tongue against them filled her conviction despite the overwhelming feeling of throwing up. ‘His dick is bigger,’ the thought that kept her pushing forward as the man felt the spit of her lips against his knuckles, sometimes teeth nibbling slightly.

“Good girl,” he repeated, “You want to impress me?”

She hummed a positive reply as her pressure intensified while Levi took them away slowly. Rubbing his fingers together, enjoying the moisture that made them glide easily.

Taking a step behind, Levi sat down in Erwin’s English green chenille chair. Resting his weight on the pushed surface as if he carried on so much on his shoulders. Elbows on both sides as if he was waiting for entertainment. Knees parted, creating an outward tilt that made the bulge shine prideful as it strained against the tight white trousers.

It made her jolt in her body, the sight of it as if she would never get used to it. Seen it before but it was always as mesmerising as the first time. The candle was still burning on the desk. The window was as wide open behind the chair as Levi’s leg while he waited for service. The idea of anyone recognizing that there was still someone in Erwin’s office or, for goodness sake, Erwin coming back from the trip early made her tremble. Her bottom lip became a prisoner of her teeth as she still wondered how much of a good idea this was.

“You don’t call me that.” His deep frowned expression made her remain quiet “Call me commander,”

“Lev–”

“Commander, sir..” Her breaking voice as she tried to process whatever that was happening conceived him the pleasure of carrying on.

“What a good girl,” Levi breathed out, mocking how easy it was to make her obey. “Come here. Are you going to behave for me?”

Her body combusted, it felt tight and warm but empty. Her covered knees with the combat boots hit the carpet of the floor as she squeezed between the chair and the desk. Levi pondered the idea of calling someone, so they would come in and force her to gag on his dick as she kept sucking while he tugged her under the desk. ‘Maybe for another occasion,’

“I asked you a question,” Levi’s firm, demanding voice warned. His demeanour held the undertone of someone who won’t accept rebellion.

“Yes,sir- Commander, sir,” She quickly corrected, and it made a chuckle echo in his throat.

Whatever was the thing that possessed Levi was making her succumb to a situation that she truly didn’t comprehend but made her whole body feel in a way it had never done before. Her body ached with the need to take anything he offered, thank him for it and do her best to get a compliment for taking it so well.

The meat of his inner thighs felt trapped, he petted himself through his uniform pants, lazily as his body rested on the cushioned surface.

“Make me happy, do your job,” Levi ordered with his voice dying from husk. She was reluctant at first, it felt wrong that it was someone else's place. It even smelled like someone else. Levi dedicated her his undivided attention as he frowned deeply.

“Do I’ve to do all the fucking work?” Levi complained under his breath as he sighted. Pale hands quickly unbuckled his belt, then he raised slightly from his place, just to push the leather off completely and let it rest on the desk.

A short hiss quicked his breath and then he sighted, as he unbuttoned the front of his pants and dragged down the zip. His hand reached for his cock as it shifted to the contact and then pulled out.

Y/N glazed up to him, trying to find the conviction. The fear of being seen from the training ground while sucking her boyfriend’s dick at someone else's office was something hard to forget. His finger’s run through her hair before gripping it in a handful made ponytail. Strands of hair tangled with his pale fingers as he pushed her face close to him.

“C’mon. Behave..” Levi breathed out as his other hand tugged his own pants off down his thighs and grabbed his dick from the bottom.

Gripping tightly the strands, making her his as he pushed her closer. Shiny curious eyes getting closer to his cock as she didn’t push away anymore, her breath ghosted against it. The difference of temperature of his warm shaft made him want to buck his hips against it.

Yn’s mouthered herself as he lazily did one, two jerks to push down the foreskin to reveal the flushed deep red tip. The side thick vein shined proudly as he pressured near the sack and then raised up to pressure the slit. Her rosy lips parted to give it a timid kiss before flatly running her tongue against it, giving it a particular harsh suck to that throbbing vein. Closed eyes before they opened lazily to look through her eyelashes with lidded eyes.

Levi’s breath stuck on his throat as she got him wet enough to engulf him soon. “Yeah, just like that, as I taught you,” Levi growled as he remembered that those lips had only been corrupted by him. She was getting better and he could tell. By the grip of his made ponytail, he pushed himself down her throat, quickly and aggressively.

No time, no patience. He did another tug and forced more of himself deep down her throat. Enjoying the warm and the wet as he groaned echoing in the empty room. The idea that he had been training her to take him exactly as he liked him, drove him nuts.

The girl choked a noise as her eyes tear up, relaxed her jaw to take him deeper as Levi forced her head still while his hips rocked forward.

His hissing reaction to each time he drove deeper into the engulfing wetness that dripped from the corner of her stretched rosy lips. “Fuck, suck harder. I taught you how to suck a dick, didn’t I?”

‘I’m trying!’ she wanted to say but Levi was so thick, so heavily against her tongue and he wasn’t yet all the way. The tip hitted the back of her throat each time he trusted forward. If she hollowed her cheeks, she would gag more on the spit. It would have been easier to run her tongue as he pushed in if she wasn’t fighting to slack her jaw trying to fit him.

The wet glide produced obscene loud noises as it sliced Levi’s cock.

“This view is mine only mine,” Levi moaned as he observed her face contouring, eyebrows drawn together as she tried to fit him all in.

Y/n’s also glazed up to look between heavy lids Levi undo in front of her, dusty cheeks, frowned expression and nor particularly of pain, groans resonating in his throat as his dick hit his throat. She gagged, hopefully, as he hissed before letting his head fall back. It was ridiculous how much he was enjoying it. The wet lovely noises before her gag as he forced her head to bob down on him filling the office. He liked it so much that he moaned while painfully gripping her hair.

He tugged her off, impossible pumpled red lips fighting for oxygen as she was breathless. Dizzy on arousal and in confusion. Watery eyes looking up to him and he commanded “open up,”

Reflective pinky tongue out as it was covered in glistering saliva, flat exposed as Levi hollowed his pale cheeks. Gathering moisture and with a loud sound, let the spit hit her mouth.

“Swallow,” and she obeyed, at this rate not questioning much. “Open up,” he breathed and smirked at the clean surface, ready for him to ruin again. “You’re a fast learner,”

Re-adjusting his position. Without warning, his firm grip that pushed her off, forced her back on his cock. Easily slipping in, she put all her back into it. Each time an inch deeper, a harsher pressure and moved more her tongue as they got a pleasant rhythm.

“Fuck, yeah. Just like that, love. Use your tongue more,” Levi seemed to have lost all inhibitions and he began to succumb to the pet names. All she could do was whimper around it and dipping into Levi’s thighs for balance.

Seeing him come undone was marvellous, it filled her pride. Maybe he was the one in command but her mouth delivered so much pleasure that he was head slackened against the chair, hissing in need, was beyond comparison. Maybe those previous underground chicks were naturally better but Levi became insane around her, always wanting more, always ready to break another rule for the sake of having her.

Hm her throat groaning warned him when he had pushed her all the way down, her nose against the dark hairs tingling against her nose, drooling down her chin as the spit turned thicker and sticker. Deeping her nails on his legs, patting out heavily of her nose.

Handful of kick breath as she her throat pushed Levi’s head past it “Shallow, shallow all of it,”

No more resting on the chair, curved for a better view as he tighten the grip to fuck fastly her flusterring throat. Tears merciless crossed her cheeks as she jerked and turned impossible red trying to fit it all.

“That’s it, fuck.” his breathing quickling as his voice was covered in necessity and arousal “You’re taking it so well, so fucking well,”

‘Oh that’s it,’ who needs oxygen when humanity’s strongest soldier is loudly moaning how good you take it. There was no instinct of survival, as she took all of it, felt deeper each time and drooled over his hips. The burning sensation each time that he went balls deep and the prideness of taking each inch.

Sobbing as it becomes too much at some point. She wasn’t sure what was wetting her face, her tears of her split as her hazy brain fighted for survival. Her knees hurted from the strength of not falling backwards from the trust of his hips.

“Fuck, yes yes,” Levi was in his own world, scratching the desk chair that didn’t belong to him. Staining with dark spots the chenille each time that he drove to abused that hole “Fucking shit,”

At this rate, she wasn’t even trying to not gag to reduce the chances of someone hearing. She couldn’t take it anymore, too much. Her lungs hurted as her hand pinched his thighs, patted them. Anything that would make Levi erase the grip. Finally free, Yn rested one hand on the floor as she caught her breath.

“God…” she hissed dizzy, coughing as their ragged breath filled the place. Levi took a brief moment to observe her down, quickly catching his breath before raising from the chair to grab something from the desk.

Piercing grey eyes looking into her demanding, squeezing her cheeks together. Forcing dewy eyes to look back at him with tears on the corners, glimmering gems looking into his. ‘What a pretty little sight,’ He was the only one he had seen it, and he was going to make sure it remained that way.

“Whose whore are you?”

“Y-yours,”

“Whose?”

“Yours,” this time with conviction, making him sight contented.

“Get up, I’m not done with you,” Levi growled.

Tugging from her forearm, obligated her to raise up by placing a hand on the carpet. Warm red cheek against the cold surface of the desk, hands pinned on the back. Levi’s cold hand made the hairs of her neck raise as he pushed the shirt and jacket up her back as far as they could go. Hot tongue tracing up her tailbone as he travelled the exposed skin.

It took all her self control to not moan under the minimum touch, she had been feeling dripping since the moment she decided to thoughtlessly invest in this idea and finally the attention was back on her. Hips pushing hard against hers as he humped her clothed ass, enjoying the pressure and squishing her against the desk.

Persistent lips sucked the crock of her neck a couple of times before straightening up. Palm of his hand on the bottom of her back. Pupils going thin as he remembered the owner of the office touching that place. Levi sighed breathless as he admired the view, her timid arousal eyes looking at him from the corners as he gave another good push with his hips, trapping her against the table. Soft moan as he shoved her promptly onto the table.

Levi wished she would be wearing a skirt, it would make it so much easier. Cursed under his breath the uniform tight pants.

“W-what is that?” She quickly questioned as he grabbed her hands and tight them together with his own belt, quite painful.

“This,” Levi bended to hower on top of her, to whisper “is for making me so fucking jealous,”

She could feel the bruises happening, not only around her wrists but on her hips as Levi gripped them with such strength as his teeth clenched.

Pelvis pressing against hers “Levi,” Yn gasped enjoying the friction but it was getting too much to handle. The moisture between her legs was getting uncomfortable as she needed something, anything, to fill her up.

Strong tug from her hair, pushing part of her upper body up and mixing her pleasurable necessity with arousing pain.

“I think we had already agreed it was commander, cadet,” Levi gritted his teeth.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry commander-” Y/n hissed in pain and then her face fell into the cold surface again, breath clouding the polish surface as her lungs ragged. Slightly shaking to the sides, trying to win back his interest and finally allow her some relief.

Undoing her belt and pulling down the pants, they reached far enough to her knees. The boots would make it impossible to take them off completely, the tingling sound of the buckle moving as her legs parted trying to fit him between them better. Biting the inner part of her cheeks with the molars, patiently waiting for him to finally rampage inside her.

Levi was taking his time, lazily jerking his hard cock as he admired the views. Pert, round ass and youngful beautiful legs that shined with her wetness that runned known from her neediness. It made him bite his bottom lip, thumb parting her inner fingers without touching her clit. If she was coming, it was from his cock only.

Tight little hole, he had been using it non stop the last couple of months and yet, it still looked so small. Gripping her ass, pushing it to the side to admire it better. Fingers kneading the meat to his heart content, full display only for him. ‘I’m getting that damn Captain promotion just for this, my own desk to ramble her every fucking day,’

She couldn’t take it anymore, feeling the tip of his head running up and down her folds, collecting her slick, but not getting close to her enter and neither to her clit. .

“Commander, please. Please-”

“How pretty is it when you beg,” Levi murmured holding his shaft as it leaked an ooze of precum with excited “Beg me more, princess,”

“Please, I really need you inside-”

“Oh you can do much better than that.”

Planting her forehead on the desk, sucking her bottom lip harshly as she got exasperated. She couldn't touch him, she couldn’t see him, she could barely feel him as he refused to get near the good places with his dick. Legs trembling in anticipation “Sir, please. I’m begging, fill me up until all I can feel is your dick pointing me to the point it hurts,”

His sinister chuckle as the words would have been impossible to come from her lips a few months ago when she was still an innocent girl, now she sobbed for him.

“I wish he could see you. Hungry little slut for my cock,” Levi grunted as he pressed the head against her enter and trusted himself aggressively.

Red bruised lips from biting parted soundless as she pulsed around him. It felt as if he was in her throat. It felt too much to handle but he didn’t wait for her to adjust, not this time. His right hand on her neck, forcing her head back down and imprisoned her. She felt the need to push away but the desk made sure there was nowhere to run.

Air hissed through his clenched teeth as Levi drowned his eyebrows together, it was a heavenly warm and tight encompass. Despite the grip on her hands, keeping them together, her knuckles paled as she pressed her fingers into her palms. The feeling of her cunt being abruptly filled, her legs trying to part more in vain to fit him better. She could feel Levi press and pull against her walls, it was overwhelmingly good that she swore she was sobbing.

Her moans began to mix with Levi’s groaning as he gravitated and rocked his hips. Moving himself steadily, trying to fully make his wave the tight place. Levi hissed breathy as she tugged his cock in all the right places.

Quickly, despite feeling his hips against hers, buried to the hilt and satisfied groans living his mouth, he didn’t wait. Slowly pulling out, her legs backed up of how painfully slow it was before rambling back on it. Slamming himself with no restriction, stood up properly to repeat the action.

Jaw tightening up as his teeth clenched “fucking shit, yeah, that’s it. Open up,” sighed as he enjoyed every minute.

“Commander-” her voice soft as a plea to then wheezed incoherent moans that filled the room. It felt too much, Levi bottoming each time, pistoning her hips.

“This fucking hole was made for me,” Levi pushed Yn’s cheeks apart as he gritted “I could barely fit my fingers before and look at that, now your cunt is sucking me in so nicely. Doesn’t want to let me go. Do you feel me rearranging your guts? It’s taking my fucking shape”

Levi had always had a dirty mouth but hearing him talk like that felt too much. Each time that he went balls it, it hit all the nice places. It was overwhelmed, to the point that all she could do was just slacken against the desk. Sobbing in pleasure how good it felt, she kept teething over the edge of coming but it kept building up.

“Are you crying because it feels good?” Levi pulled out completely, making her gasp loudly and watching the slick still connecting them.

“Ah…” She breathed, unable to perform any actual word and her legs shaking. Gladly she was that the desk was doing all the support, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up.

Grabbing her neck and using it as support as he smacked back in with a loud wet smack. Bending over, whispering “or because I’m fucking you in Erwin’s desk as some cheap corner whore?”

“Commander-” Yn weeped as she gritted her teeth, feeling the pressure of Levi’s hand on her neck and the other on running up and down on her body before painfully grabbing her hips again.

“You’re fucking dripping, you enjoy it Don’t you? You get off by me treating you for what you’re, just some tight cunt for me to use? Wait until you see his face when he notices the stains on the carpet,” Levi growled, getting himself excited.

“Ah-” She cried, trying to part her hips wider in vain, restricted by the uniform. Levi raised his right knee to the desk, to shift the angle and go deeper, if it was even possible.

The orgasm was foreshadowed. She came, muffling her cries the best she could so the rest wouldn’t hear, the bricks were thick but not that much. Pulsing against him as she cried overwhelmed. Levi wasn’t stopping.

“Ah- Fuck,” He moaned feeling the sudden walls sucking him so nicely.

“Tell me how much you love it.” no waiting, only unstoppable necessity of more. The desk shaked under the power and the blue-prints with the stressing paperwork falling from it. The candle falling and, luckily, turning off. Leaving them in the dim of the night.

“I-I love it, it’s so good. I love your cock-” Bumbling and sighting out. She didn’t even know what else he wanted from her, she couldn’t even feel her arms or her legs from knees down at this point. Head turning to the side, trying to catch some fresh air. Desk fogging with her rushed puffs.

“Ah- Ah-Ah” little noises escaping her lips as she felt coming again, jolting her body as Levi didn’t seem to have intentions to stop but the rhythm getting chaotic. Without lights all she could feel was the permanent presence of his hand on her neck, keeping her in place.

“I’m gonna breed you properly, so anyone can know to who you fucking belonged to,” Levi muffed out, hitting deeper and rougher each time. If it was even possible. The head of his cock met her cervix each time as he got carried away, dangerously.

“Fucking hell, yes” Levi gritted his teeth, succumbing to a muffle mix of swearing as he reached the end. Head throwing back as he lost any rhythm and inhibition.

“Levi…” forgetting the formalities and saying his name. The fingers of her feet contorning in pleasure, her hands tugging from the belt, arching her back and squirmed.

The not yet captain pressed as deep as he could, as his dick twitched and unloading himself inside. Laying on top of her back as both tried to regulate their breath, resting his chin on her shoulder as he admired her dizzily state and her features covered in wetness, from tears, spit or the sweat. He waited there until he finished working himself out.

“Stay still,” he groaned, raw voice after all what happened, straightening up. Both hissing as he withdrew his softening dick.

She attempted to look over her shoulder but she couldn’t even phantom the idea of gathering the energy for that. All that she could hear was Levi’s humming as he pushed her cheeks apart. Thumb gently massaging the hole as it began to leak his cum.

Then something began to clean her up as he kept prying open to see it all out.

“So pretty,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

All she could do was lay there limp, gasping for air or for her consciousness. It was so dark when she finally opened her eyes again. He was gently tugging her from her arms, soft quiet touch nothing compared to before.

“Do you want a shower?” He offered, knowing that they could take advantage of staying in the private chambers. After all, it was almost a suicide mission trying to leave the higher ranks’s building at the middle of the night without getting caught.

Not entirely sure how but Levi had manoeuvred both of them to be cuddling against the chair, playing with her hair.

Sleepy hummed a negative replied “I can’t feel my legs… neither my hands,”

“Oh yeah…” he undid the grip but she hissed loudly now down from the high, noticing the deep marks around her wrist.

“What the fuck happened to you?” She questioned once she felt her regular partner was back.

“I got carried away,” was all he murmured.

“It’s my fertile week, you said we weren’t going to sleep together these days,”

“I got carried away,” he repeated uninterested in going into details.

She fell asleep at some point and he allowed her. Carefully as a mother that puts a kid on the crip, Levi slided her body off from his. He cleaned the papers, picked up the blue-prints, and turned off all the candles. The place was right as it was before they came in, except from one thing.

The uncomfortable silence as both pondered over the recent activities “... how am I supposed to look at Erwin’s face after this?”

Levi didn’t reply right away, chuckled dryly and said “well better for you, less neck pain from looking up,”

Pale finger reaching across the wardrobe, pulling out the pink ribbon bag and opening it. He admired the lingerie with what he had cleaned up his own load off. It was pristine before he stole it a couple of days ago and now it was stained with him. As so was her. He could help it to grimace as he folded it and put it between the clothes.

‘I’m fucking insane,’ he thought with no remorse. However, Levi was sure that if the blond found out, he wouldn’t bring it around. It was either admitting that he had kept his ex clothes or both pretending this never happened. As the future captain was getting to know the Commander in line… he bet that this was the last time he was going to hear from this.

Perhaps this was the last time he could let his inner sassy thug shine through until he had to shut it down to behave as a proper leader. Then when the blond came back, they crossed pathways in the corridors.

“I cleaned your office. You live in a pig’s shit,” Levi casually commented.

The tall man smiled “Thank you, I appreciate it,”

Humming positive as the former thug slowly kept his stroll in the opposite direction but stopped midway “Oi,”

Both man looked over their shoulder to see what the other had to say, Levi casually dropped “I also put stoppers to your desk, that shit moves a lot,”

The blond frowned, Levi stoically turned back and kept going as if he had said nothing. It took all his will power to not smirk on his way down to the mess hall.

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loveshotzz · 2 years

Text

Saturday Night’s Main Event. - One Shot

Eddie Munson X Fem Reader

Friends to lovers

Summary: Saturday nights were always reserved for you and Eddie. Sharing his love for WWF he won’t let you watch Saturday Nights Main Event with anyone else. After half a bottle of whisky and a wild match between Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage Eddie’s convinced he can do what they do. When he tries to prove it to you things get out of hand and feelings are revealed.

Author’s Note: This is purely self indulgent with my own love for the campy-ness of WWE, Still pretty new at writing fan fiction so comments, likes, and reblogs are always welcome! My requests are open and if i feel like i can do it I totally will. I’ll be writing part 7 of my series after this. Master list (light editing don’t mind my typos 🙈)

Warnings: This is long and this is diiirrrrtyyy. smutty smut smut with feels and fluff. Minors DO NOT ENTER!

Tag List: @emotionaldreamer @tayhar811 @eddiethesexy

Saturday nights were always reserved for you and Eddie.

Once he found out that you also had a deep love for WWF he wouldn’t let you watch The Main Event with anyone else. That’s how Saturday nights had become your favorite night of the week. Hellfire on Thursday’s always a close second, those were the nights you got your best friend to yourself. Those were the nights that made you realize how hopelessly in love you were with with the metal head. You’d never admit it out loud, hell you hardly could admit it to yourself. Eddie brought a comfort to you, a comfort you never wanted to lose. Love was messy and cruel and you knew, you just knew the hardships in life would break you two. That’s what happened to your parents so why wouldn’t it happen to you? Eddie’s at home life was just another testimony to add to your list of evidence. You were more then content with this little bubble you had built around you two, confident in your ability to hide your real feelings just sitting under the surface.

You blame Hulk Hogan and Jim Beam for tonight.

You two were always so high energy when you were together, especially on these nights. It was so easy for you to lose yourself in the matches with him, feeding off each other. There was never any embarrassment when you’d both be screaming at the TV or jumping from you seat when a finishing move blew your mind.

Eddie and you are Squeezed together on his love seat practically vibrating with excitement as The Warriors intro music starts playing. You try to ignore the heat of his thigh pressed tightly against yours. Cursing yourself for picking shorts today, something about his denim touching your bare skin was sending you into a silent frenzy.

“Alright kids, I’m heading out.” Wayne’s gruff voice breaks both your attentions from the TV. He can’t help but smirk at the excitement thats written all over your faces, happy his nephew had someone to spend what he knows are lonely nights with. Wayne could see clear as day the way you stared at his nephew but he was letting Eddie figure that out on his own.

“I promise I won’t let y/n burn the house down.” Eddie grins slinging an arm over you in what you thought was just a casual gesture, but as you feel his muscles start to constrict around your neck you don’t realize your in an arm chokehold till your eyes are face to face with the crotch of his black jeans.

“Eddie! Let me go asshole!” You immediately start fighting against his grasp needing to get out of this position immediately. Was the universe working against you tonight?

When you finally break free you give Eddie a shove before turning around to see his Uncle was already half way out the door chuckling to himself at the sight in front of him.

“It’s not her I’m worried about. it you she’s probably the only reason this place is still standing.” He teases lightly. “Be good.”

“Yeah, yeah get to work old man.” Eddie’s tone is exasperated but the playful glint in his eyes gives him away. You loved catching moments like this. The soft side of Eddie you would get on these nights is what made you realize the depth of your feelings for him, especially once he started to get soft on you.

When Wayne shuts the front door Eddie’s up almost immediately when he sees a commercial break, lightly jogging to his room. It’s not unlike him to surprise you with some kind of booze he had stashed under his bed, always whatever he could manage to swipe from the corner store. It was never the fact he was drinking he was trying to hide from his uncle it was the having to explain where he got it.

When he comes back there’s a shit eating grin spread across his face as he shakes the small handle of brown liquid, as he gets closer you realize its a bottle of Jim Beam.

“Jesus Christ Eddie, Jim Beam? I was expecting beer.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie takes his place next to you on the couch and you swear his legs are spread even wider as he leans back into his seat.

“It’s a special occasion sweetheart, it’s The Main Event before Wrestle Mania. I was scoping this out for days just for this.” Eddie’s looking at you like he can’t believe you’d expect anything else.

All you can think about is the fact that he just called you sweetheart. The pet names were new, you’d noticed he started casually sprinkling them in a few weeks ago. Princess, sweetheart, and now pretty girl. He dropped that one during the last campaign and if it wasn’t for the looks on the rest of the boys faces when the endearment left his lips you’d do your best to think nothing of it. But it was the only thing you thought about for the last two days.

“My mistake Munson, don’t get your panties in a bunch.” You tease snatching the bottle from his hand before twisting off the cap taking a swig, its warm going down your throat and when you meet Eddie’s eyes you don’t know if its the shot that’s making your insides turn to mush or the look he’s giving you.

“Just throwin’ em back huh?” Eddie grins grabbing the bottle from your hands, and you feel his calloused finger tips brush against yours. The light touch making your body react and you don’t understand what’s happening to your self control tonight.

“It’s the Main Event before Wrestlemania.” You counter back arching an eyebrow using his own logic against him.

“Touché, you got me there.” He winks before mimicking your previous actions, you can’t help but laugh at the sour face he makes after the bottle leaves his lips.

“God that is AWFUL!” He keeps smacking his mouth in hopes the bad taste will somehow leave his taste buds.

“It’ll get better as we keep going.” You giggle reaching out for his arm in reassurance. He tenses under your sudden touch, his big brown eyes look at your hand before making their way to your green ones. You can’t place what you see dancing behind his pupils when he licks his lips and they tug into a small smirk.

“Promise?” You swear he’s looking up at you from underneath his lashes. Was Eddie flirting with you?

The sound of Randy Savage’s intro music saves you from having to figure that out, your eyes darting back to the TV screen.

“Quit being a baby.” You finally settle on snatching the bottle from his ringed fingers again tipping it back, welcoming the harsh burn.

The excited energy from before finally returns to Eddie’s living room when Hulk Hogan makes his way into the ring, the show demanding the attention from both of you. You spend most of the match completely enthralled, passing the small handle back and fourth between each other. You don’t notice with the match having you both on the edge of your seat, also had you drink almost half the bottle. You definitely don’t notice how Eddie grips your knee every time there’s a close count out.

When Hulk Hogan finally gets Randy Savage to tap out Eddie’s grip on your knee is released as he stands up to whoop loudly, raising his fist in the air. His actions make his Iron Maiden shirt ride up slightly giving you a small glimpse of the happy trail on his stomach. The universe was definitely testing you tonight.

“What a fuckin’ match!” Eddie’s ecstatic when he turns around to look at you. His doe eyes are glossy and slightly blood shot, a result of the cheap liquor.

“Yeah, that was wild! The way that he picked him up and slammed him down like it was nothing?!” You can’t help but match his happiness when you finally gather the words to speak, Eddie and the whiskey making your brain fuzzy.

“You think I could do that? Like pick someone up like that?” He’s flexing his arm squeezing the muscle on his shoulder to try and gauge his physical abilities that way. You didn’t mean to laugh at him but you couldn’t stop it from bubbling out of your chest.

His brown eyes snap to you on the couch head thrown back gripping your stomach to try and regain control of yourself. Maybe if tears weren’t welling up in the corner of your eyes you would have noticed him position himself in front of you. It wasn’t until you felt the heat of his breath fan across your face that you opened your eyes enough to see him towering over you. His hands resting on either side of your hips on the couch caging you in.

“Are you laughing at me?” While the smirk on his face was menacing the look in his eyes show you slight nervousness. Almost enough to make you feel like maybe being this close has the same effect on him. You finally let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Why I would never! It’s completely believable for you to have the same athletic abilities as the WWF superstars Eddie.” Sarcasm is dripping from your words and his eyes narrow at you. The gesture makes your thighs press together.

You can feel his hands slowly make their way from the couch cushion before the heat of them are against your thighs. The squeeze he gives them is so gentle that your almost don’t know if it’s your imagination.

“You’re gonna regret those words pretty girl.”

Fuck. Pretty girl? Again?

Before you can react his grip tightens at the dip of your knees, and your being lifted off the couch. You knew Eddie was strong always having to watch him and Garett interrupt band practices with their impromptu play fights after taunting each other all day, but you didn’t think he was pick you up like a rag doll strong. The new knowledge goes straight between your legs.

You can’t help but squeal when you feel weight less for a second as he gives you a gentle toss up hooking his arms under your knees causing your legs to dangle on either side of his shoulders. His eyes are level with your stomach, the bottoms your breasts brush lightly against his forehead as your lean forward for balance, your fingers gripping into his waves for dear life.

“This isn’t TV Eddie, you need to put me down!” You try to sound serious but the uncontrollable laughter leaving your mouth doesn’t exactly sell it for you.

“Eddie The Banished has over zealous newcomer right where he wants her.” Eddie’s doing his best announcer voice as you feel his legs start to move you two towards the direction of his room. “It looks like yet again y/n’s mouth wrote a check her ass can’t cash.”

“I’m gonna beat your ass for real Eddie if you don’t put me down.” You tug at his hair a little harder to try and get his attention. When his eyes meet yours from between your legs you’re not prepared for the view from this angle, your body’s natural response to push your thighs together is stopped by his iron clad grip. You see something you couldn’t put your finger on flash over his face when he feels the movements of your legs and your cursing yourself for not having better control.

You don’t realize your falling until your back hits his mattress hard, almost knocking the air out of your lungs. Eddie’s laughing from between your legs, arms still loosely wrapped around just above your knees, his warm cheek is pressed against the smooth skin of your thigh. Your heart swelling at the pure joy that’s radiating off of him in this moment. You wanted to bottle it up and keep it for yourself for a rainy day.

“You almost killed us Munson, are you happy with yourself?” The smile on your own face threatening to break you in half.

He doesn’t move from his position after his laughter subsides, his grip on your legs tightening slightly before he responds.

“You know the maid didn’t clean my room today.” Referring to the combat boot he tripped on there’s a light tint of pink on his cheeks and your fingers twitch wanting to reach out.

That’s when you see the opportunity you couldn’t resist having positioned himself perfectly to use your favorite finishing move on him. His eyes go wide when he sees your thighs start to close in on his neck. He try’s to catch them before he can be trapped in but he’s too late.

“In a turn of events Eddie The Banished has been pinned by so called over zealous newcomer will he do the self respectful thing and tap out?” Mocking his announcers voice you tighten the muscles around his neck.

Of course Eddie doesn’t give in doing his best to try and break free, thrashing his head wildly against you. You’re too busy laughing at him that you don’t realize how close his movements have positioned his face to where you had only dreamed about him touching. The place he effects you the most. It’s when his nose accidentally runs the length of your covered folds that you notice, a load moan falling from your lips.

The silence that falls between you two is deafening and you wish you could somehow disappear into his mattress. When you go to release your hold on him his hands grip tighter to your thighs keeping them where they are, his nose runs along your length again this time with more pressure then before.

“Eddie.” Your voice is shaky when is comes out still trying to figure out if this was really happening or not, but then he does it again and your body shudders making you realize this isn’t a dream.

“Sweetheart, are you making a mess of your shorts for me?” Hearing Eddie talking to you like this sends another wave of arousal to your core.

“Open your eyes princess.” So lost in your thoughts you hadn’t realized you closed them.

When you finally open your eyes and look down the sight makes you bite down on your bottom lip another loud moan begging to come out. He’s rested between your plush thighs, the heat of his blown out stare makes you want to squirm, his tongue darts out licking along his bottom lip just inches away from your fluttering core. You can see his hips rutting lightly into his mattress needing the friction. He looks needy.

His fingers dig deeply into your warm skin “I said is this mess all over your shorts for me?”

Eddie’s dominant tone adds to the mess that’s building inside your panties, A fantasy of yours after you saw the handcuffs in his room. You’re mad that you’ve deprived yourself of the sight in front of you for so long, you don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on.

“Yes, Eddie.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“Yes what?” He’s not happy with your simple answers having thought about this moment himself for years. He runs his tongue flat along the wet spot on your shorts causing you to throw your head back and your hips push forward chasing him.

“Yes, I’m soaking through my shorts for you Eddie. I’m always wet when I’m around you.” You finally confess looking back down at him your bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

“That must’ve been really painful not being able to do anything about it huh?” He’s gentle with how he speaks but you can hear the condescending tone laced underneath it, he was getting off on how desperate you were for him. Still you can’t help it when you nod.

His finger tips trace down the length of the outside of your thighs until they hit the black denim of your shorts. They slide underneath the material squeezing tightly at the doughy flesh of your ass, groaning when he’s met with the lace trim of your panties.

“Lets get these off hm?”

Still only nodding, your voice leaving you Eddie makes quick work of the 4 metal buttons of your high waisted shorts his fingers curling around the top of them he pauses his eyes meeting yours.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You can tell me no and I’ll stop right now.”

Of course Eddie’s still making sure your comfortable, even seconds away from getting your pants off. You were a fucking goner.

“Are you sure you want to do this Eddie? I don’t think I can go back to normal after this.” You finally say wishing you could read his mind.

“I thought it was obvious.” He’s smiling so hard you can see the dimples in his cheeks “I’ve had a crush on you ever since you and your mom moved into the trailer park three years ago. If we do this, your gonna have to move away to get rid of me.”

“What if it doesn’t work out and we ruin everything? I can’t lose you Eddie.” All the reasons you’ve fought this for so long come rushing back to you now that the haze of lust has temporarily subsided.

Eddie pushes himself up, sliding his body against yours until you are both eye level with each other, still nestled between your legs. Propping himself up with one arm, his fingers reach out to brush the stray hairs from your worried face.

“I’ll always be here for you, even if life somehow fucks us up. I’ll never be able to stay away. Not for long.” the look in his eyes is so sincere that it almost brings tears to yours. “I love you.” He says the last part so quiet that you almost don’t hear it.

“I love you too Eddie, I always have.” Your confession comes out in a whisper and you can’t help but take his face in your hands crashing your lips into his. Finally giving into all of those years you fought against it. He doesn’t hesitate moving his lips against yours, his tongue begging for entrance licking at your bottom lip. Quickly granting him access you both moan into the kiss as it deepens. Both of you taking advantage of this opportunity to explore every inch of each other’s mouths trying to memorize exactly how it feels, Neither one of you wanting to forget any detail about this moment.

When you finally break away to catch your breath he makes quick work of the slope of your neck dragging with his wet lips across your skin, licking and biting at the soft flesh addicted to the sounds he elicits from you.

Your hands find their way to the bottom of his shirt, tugging gently silently begging for him to take it off. He sucks hard onto the sensitive spot behind your ear before pushing him self up on his knees. You watch with baited breath as his fingers curve under the hem up his shirt slowly dragging it up and over his wild curls. The view is even better then you could have ever imagined. His chest was smooth till it hit the happy trail you had gotten a glimpse of earlier and wanted to follow it, the demon head tattoo you had only ever seen the one time he flashed it to you at Hellfire was clear as day now. His pick necklace hanging above the dip of his neck. Pushing yourself up slightly you don’t stop yourself from reaching out this time, running your finger tips over the toned muscles of his abdomen watching them flex under your touch. Your nails drag through the rough hairs of his happy trail and it makes him suck his bottom lip between his teeth closing his eyes at the sensation.

“You’re so handsome Eddie.” You can’t help yourself as you eyes hungrily take in all the newly exposed parts of him.

When his eyes open there’s a look of adoration that dances inside them, he reaches out to cup your cheek in his hand, the cool of his rings biting into your hot skin.

“It’s your turn now pretty girl” His smile is gentle when his hand leaves you to join the other at the bottom of your shirt pulling it up. Eddie takes in an audible breath when he sees the black lace bra, he knows that it must match the lace he felt wrapped around your ass.

“Lace set y/n? Are you sure your plan wasn’t to seduce me tonight?” He can’t help but arch an eyebrow at you his grin turning lopsided.

Red takes over your neck and cheeks, you wouldn’t dare tell him that you made sure to wear a matching set anytime you knew you’d be alone with him. Despite your personal protests, you never wanted to not be prepared in case it ever happened. And now sitting here in front of him, you don’t regret your choices at all.

“Last time I checked you’re the one who wanted ‘wrestle’” you give him air quotes dodging his question.

Chuckling to himself Eddie shakes his head at you, his bangs falling messily in his face.

“Shut up, I’m trying to get you naked.” He teases pulling you against his chest, Taking advantage you start peppering your own open mouth kisses along the nape of his neck. His fingers tips brush against your back as he makes work of your bra clasps. Once he has them unhooked they ghost up your spine before gliding up to your straps, he takes his time pulling them down the curve of your shoulder. Bending down as he plants a soft kisses where the straps rested. His hair tickling the side of your cheek, you can feel how hard he is under his jeans.

“Let me see you.” His voice is low next to your ear and it makes you shiver.

You push yourself away from him leaving just enough space between you two for him to get a clear view as your bra falls away from you. Suddenly feeling vulnerable in nothing but your unbuttoned shorts, you’ve never been this exposed to Eddie. You can’t help but feel self conscious under his gaze as he greedily takes you in.

“Fuck - Sweetheart.” He lets out a loud breath through his nose. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror? Fucking perfect.”

Eddie’s words overwhelm you.

“Eddie, please just touch me. I need you.” Your voice shakes when you reach out for his hands bringing them to your breasts, your nipples hardening instantly under his touch.

His eyes close tightly when he feels how your body reacts to him a low growl leaving his chest. When his eyes open they are completely black and you can feel yourself dripping down your thigh, pressing them together desperate for some relief. Your words causing a shift in his demeanor.

“You need me huh baby?” His voice comes out like a purr as he bends down to capture one of your pert nipples in his mouth.

“Shit- Eddie!” You gasp as his tongue swirls around the hard bud before taking it between his teeth, your hands are buried in his hair holding him closer. When he’s finally satisfied with both he lets the one he’s working on fall from his mouth with a loud pop. His big doe eyes are almost unrecognizable when they meet yours, he looks like he’s ready to devour you and you can’t help the shudder that runs deep through your body. His hard on looks painful pressed against the zipper of his jeans and all you want to do is help him. Reaching out you cup the swollen bulge with one of your small hands, making him close his eyes at contact. He’s rock hard. A surge of confidence fills you knowing that you were the reason for how fucked out he was right now.

“Who’s got you so hard baby?” Its your turn to indulge in his torture.

He doesn’t give you any time to answer, grabbing your hips harshly twisting you around. With your back against his chest you can feel just how labored his breathing his. With out warning he ruts himself into your ass so hard you have to grab ahold of his bed frame in front of you to keep your balance a needy moan falling from your lips. You wanted him so bad.

His fingers dig into your sides begging to bruise your soft flesh pulling you flush against him, his lips trace down the shell of your ear and it makes you shiver.

“You know who’s got me this hard. Those fucking shorts had me readjusting all night.” His right had leaves its place on your hip and finds it way into your pants pushing past your underwear his fingers trace up your soaking entrance, his middle finger dipping lightly into your hole and you can’t help but flutter around him.

“Fuck, she wants me so bad she’s trying to suck me in pretty girl.” You can feel the proud smirk against your skin. “And she’s so fucking wet.”

You were starting to get impatient with how slow he was going, your body almost in pain with how turned on you were. Reaching behind, you do your best to undo the button of his jeans, when you succeed you shove desperately trying to get to what you want so badly. His hands are quick to leave their spot from teasing your entrance to grab your wrists, his grip is tight.

“Don’t just grab at me, use your words.” His tone I commanding and it adds to your desperation.

“I need you to fuck me Eddie. Please just fuck me.” The last part comes out as a whine and if you weren’t so lost in him you’d want to slap yourself for sounding so needy.

“Good girl, was that so hard?” You can feel the cockiness radiating off of him as you hear the jingles of his chains still giving you what you want shimmying out his pants. The weight of his dick hits the small of your back pre cum wetting your skin at contact. Your grip on his bed frame tightens a whimper leaving your mouth as you push yourself back against him needing more.

“Needy aren’t you?” He’s taunting as he nips at the skin of your shoulder blades, his hands making quick work of your shorts before he’s leaning back. “I just wanted to see these panties first pretty girl. You wear these for me?” All you can do is whimper pressing your thighs together tightly trying to relive some of the pressure against your swollen clit.

His fingers knead the fat of your ass cheek before spanking lightly testing the waters.

“I asked you a question. Did you wear these for me?” His lips are against your ear again and your feel him finally start to push the lace down your hips.

“Yes.” You bite your lip ready to confess to him what you swore you wouldn’t. “I wear them every time we hang out...just” You can’t finish your answer when you feel two of his fingers dip into you without warning. Your head falls back against his shoulder a loud moan echoing through his room as you feel yourself griping tightly at the slow motion of his fingers. He pushes them even deeper and you can feel the metal of his rings at your entrance, your mouth hanging open in a silent scream. He was so deep.

“Just what? Just in case you let me fuck you sweet heart? That’s so fucking cute.” He chuckles darkly in your ear removing his fingers from their place inside of you to draw figure eights on your swollen nub and your eyes roll in the back of your head.

Your grab of his hands stopping his motions tired of his teasing, you waited too long for this.

Twisting around you push with enough force to knock him on his back, the view of his hard on is even more intimidating from this angle. Eddie’s shocked expression immediately turns hungry when he sees you kick of your panties completely, he can see how wet you are from here. Its almost a reflex when he reaches out to wrap his fingers around himself for relief. A hiss leaving his mouth, sensitive to his own touch but his eyes never leave yours.

Crawling up him you let the tip of his cock run down the length of you before you rest yourself perching at his tip and it makes him throw his head back with his bottom lip tugged tight between his teeth a mental image he never wants to forget.

“Looks like I’m the one who pinned you Eddie The banished.” His eyes snap up at your words and before he can protest you take him in, completely bottom out.

“Jesus-fuck” Eddie screams, his fingers grabbing harshly to your waist, there’s a light sting of pain at his size but when you feel him twitch inside you it sends another wave of arousal through you coating him even more as you start to rock your hips. You hands are spread across his chest and you have a perfect view of his fucked out expression, his mouth is slightly open, eyebrows furrowed together in concentration and his eyelids heavy with lust.

“You feel so good Eddie. So big. So full.” Your hands leave his chest so you can move faster, his tip hitting your sweet spot and you’ve waited long enough to cum.

“You gonna cum princess?” His tone sounds sweet when he asks you and all you can do is nod feeing your self getting dangerously close to falling off the cliff you’d be climbing.

In the blink of an eye your high is ripped away from you, Eddie grabbing your hips firmly pulling himself out of you. Flipping you over Eddie rests himself between your spread legs his hard cock resting against your entrance. His pink mushroom tip hits your clit with every breath he takes and it makes you rock hips against him desperate to find your orgasm again.

“Over zealous new comer yet again gets herself into trouble with her smart mouth. Eddie The banished is in for the pin.”

Your eyes widen at realization of this words and just like you did to him he doesn’t give you anytime to answer before he’s bottoming out inside of you. Your scream is silent as he some how feels even bigger from this angle. Feeling generous Eddie gives you a minute before he pushes himself back up on his knees, hooking his arms under your thighs lifting your bottom half up with him. You are completely at his mercy from this position and you can feel your walls tighten around him again in anticipation.

“Will she do the respectable thing and tap out?” He arches and eye brow at you slowly twirling his hips and it feels so good.

Meeting Eddies’s eyes you push your hips up into him taking him deeper and it makes his eyes roll in the back of his head. “I’m not fucking tapping out, so why don’t you fuck me?”

You swear you hear him growl at your words, his grip tightening around your thighs as he begins thrusting into you hard and deliberate your tits hitting your chin with every stroke.

“Such a dirty fuckin’ mouth pretty girl. I’m gonna make you cum harder then you ever have and then you’ll learn to challenge me.” One of his hands reaches between your legs, his fingers find your clit and it makes your head fall back a low moan falling form your lips as his thrusts continue to hit that sweet spot inside of you once again.

Between his fingers working your swollen nub and the deep strokes of his cock you could feel the coil start to tighten in your stomach again. The only word you knew was his name, it’s the only thing that left your mouth as he continued never slowing down.

“Look at me, I wanna see your eyes when you cum, I can tell your close baby. Cover me, tell everyone who’s making you feel this good. Fuck all I’ve ever wanted was to see you cum.” Eddie’s words are dunk with lust as he watches your green eyes open and meet his. Your walls are sucking him in as you can feel yourself start to fall apart at his words.

“Fuck Eddie, I’m cumming.” You gasp as his tip hits at a slightly different angle, your mouth falls open as you watch his dark eyes hungrily devour you as your orgasm washes over you. The feeling of you coming undone around him makes Eddie’s orgasm dangerously close behind you, his thrusts getting sloppier as your walls continue to flutter around him.

“Shit- I’m gonna cum.” You can feel his grip loosen around your thighs to get ready to pull out and you clamp your legs around his arms so he can’t move still milking him, his eyes go wide at your actions

“I said I’m gonna cum, Shit-fuck I can’t stop.” His words come out as a whine as his eyes close tight his cock twitching inside of you before he’s painting your walls with himself. You don’t think you’ll ever get enough of this feeling, thankful for birth control. Eddie’s body finally collapses on top of you still not daring to pull himself out, you both lay there for a second catching your breaths, with your arms wrapped around him you enjoy the feeling of being connected. Something about it makes you feel complete, like there was a piece of you that he held and you didn’t know how bad you needed it until now.

When Eddie finally breaks away from you he’s propping himself up on his forearms so he’s eye level with you, there’s a shit eating grin on his face and you know he’s about to ruin this moment.

“So I definitely won that match.”

You roll your eyes so hard you think they might get stuck in the back of your head.

“It was a no contest match sorry.” Your snort pushing him away but he doesn’t budge.

“Well, good thing your spending the night. I’m demanding a rematch, this is the beginning of a long feud pretty girl, I hope your ready.” Eddie’s still grinning as he bends down to capture your lips. The feeling of Eddie still inside of you and the love he was trying to convey to you in the way his lips moved against yours, you’re glad you didn’t have to fight it anymore because honestly it’s even better then you could of ever dreamed

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female oc #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson x alt!reader #eddie #joseph quinn #eddie x y/n #eddie imagine

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hellcatinnc · 3 months

Text

Fluffruary Day 1 - Breath Taking First Glance

(First Sight)

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Warning This includes: SFW (Read Tags Before Continuing)

Tags: sfw, fluff, first sight, love at first sight, romance, romantic, rafayel, love and deepspace, merfolk, merman, under the sea, art, artwork

Word Count: 1,796

Feature: Rafayel x Fem! Reader

Theme: First Sight

@fluffruaryprompts

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Chapter 2

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Chapter 1

Your friends had been telling you about this art museum in town. However you never really much cared for art but you were tired of hearing them so you agreed to check it out that weekend. You got up that Saturday morning and didn't go all out on your makeup or clothing, just comfy jeans and nice shirt, some eyeliner and lip gloss and go. Its not like you planned on picking someone up in a art gallery that is the last place you would think to do that. So you get there and you are surprised how so many people are into art and you keep hearing people talk about this Rafayel guy who is supposed to be the main artist in todays gallery. You tried to find anywhere on the pamphlet you grabbed when you came in for a last name but you thought guess he is so popular he doesn't need a last name like the singer Prince. This made you laugh cause at least he isn't just a symbol.

You look over the pamphlet and go from each art piece to the next based on what it says about each of them. There wasn't much standing out to you til you got to this mural on the wall of the depths of the ocean. It had fish, dolphins, whales and merfolk in it and you were drawn to this piece like no other. So many had passed this one by but this was it, this piece talked to you. The thought of merfolk as a kid interested you like no other and whales and dolphins are some of your favorite creatures. You were taking it all in when you heard a voice "That is one of my favorites as well." You quickly wiped the tears that were trickling in your eyes away then look back at this man. He was so handsome, the purple hair casting a slight shadow across his face, his purple mix tented eyes were captivating, his skin looked soft and silky with a creamy tone, he was tall and had broad shoulders and absolutely the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life. For the first time you felt like you believed in love at first sight. You were caught up in his looks you found your eyes settling on his soft plush lips that looked like they were so kissable.

He cleared his throat and you snapped out of it, you fumbled dropping the pamphlet. "Um yeah I think I love you too.. I mean I love it too.." You were so embarrassed your words were gone, your mind couldn't think about anything but him which caused you to mess up what you were saying, you sighed. He chuckled "Your cute, whats your name?" You smile and your face is own fire at the way he is looking at you, you're now questioning if you even remember your name. You push through and you catch his gaze, your cheeks still flushed "My, name is Y/N what about you?" He smiles at you then turns and walks away, you are so shook, what just happened. You were sure you messed it up with the fumble of your words, your eyes direct back to the painting and sigh.

About that time he walks back over to you holding a picture frame in his hand which left you curious. He turned it around and it was a picture of him then underneath it said his name Rafayel, then he pointed to the painting the plaque on the wall under the painting said the same. "Oh! Oh my god! Your.....H-him?!?" He smiles and nods "Thats right, but you, are the first to take alot of notice in this one picture and I am curious why. Do you have plans after this?" You couldn't believe he was standing right here in front of you, he was someone famous and you surely weren't drop dead gorgeous yet he wants to take you out and talk. Then you started wondering is it just cause the picture or is he actually interested in you. "N-no..." He chuckles, then reaches for your hand and pulls you with him. You gladly follow along not sure why, but you know your heart is beating so loudly you are sure he can hear it.

He walks you out the back door and walks you out towards the open beach that lays behind the art gallery. You are trying to keep up he is walking much faster than you yet still holding your hand. As you reach the waters edge he looks back at you as he releases your hand. "What does the ocean mean to you, the creatures in it?" He says with a more serious tone to it as he looks out in to the blue sea. Your not sure what he wants but you tell him about your love of the ocean and the sea creatures in it. He is now looking at you with such fascination yet doesn't say anything. You are hesitant on the last part thinking he might think your crazy..."Also merfolk I have been in love with the idea they exist since I was a little girl. So when I look out at the ocean I hope that deep down they do and your art made me feel like that hopeful little girl again." His face softly flushed pink, his ears had a tint of red to them to. He was embarrassed like he had some secret he wanted to tell you but wasn't sure how too.

"I'm going to trust you, because some reason I feel like I can." His words were shaky as he pulled out his hand blowing into and little blue fish swam around in thin air. You were so captivated by this magic you couldn't take your eyes off it and when you went touch, it faded. "W-What...was that?" He could see as you asked the curiosity and dreamy look in your eyes flickered. He took your hand and walked you towards the ocean as you walked further out you were starting to get scared. He could feel you start to tremble he turned back giving you a big hug and whispering in your ear "Trust me I will protect you, I just want to show you the world you have dreamed of does exist."

You let you heart rate relax as he said these words, you were going to trust him and you just didn't understand its like the moment you laid eyes on him it was like your heart was home, like it had found the missing half of your puzzle however you knew nothing about him and this all surprised you. Right now you were following a strange man you met over a hour ago into the ocean where you can't even swim, this could be the last day you breathe on earth yet your following him blindly. You realize love at first sight is blinder than you could imagine. As you get to where the water is about to go over your head, he is still holding you close as he looks at you and his eyes light up a beautiful bright blue. You are so alarmed by this but you never pull away because even though he has some kind of magic he is still holding you tight preventing you from falling.

He looks at you smiling with those pretty illuminated eyes staring back at you, now you find your smiling back at him. "Ready for the best part?" He says with a playful sound to his voice, you nod yes and he takes you into his arms picking you up as you look up at him he leans in and kisses your lips softly. You weren't expecting this but you kiss him back, then you realized he wasn't making out with you he was doing it to help you breathe. When he pulled away after a moment he chuckled, "There will be plenty of time for kisses, I promise." You were embarrassed that you thought he was trying to make out with you. Your face felt like it was on fire and you were sure your cheeks were probably really red by now. He plunges under the water and you go to gasp and no sooner you get under the water you realize your not drowning, you can breathe under the water yet your confused why.

You reach up touching your lips as you look at him his glowing eyes looking back you. You notice scale like area on the back of his neck such a sparkly blue, when your eyes finally look down. You see the most beautiful fanned out mer tail and you gasp. Then look back in his eyes "Wow...Your beautiful!" He smiled at her as he swayed his tail back and fourth keeping them in the same area. He held you close to him as he began to swim across the ocean bottom, you saw schools of fish flipping by, coral reefs lined the bottom area near rocks and tropical looking plants. The water made everything practically shimmer down below. You were so mesmerized how this world you hoped for so long existed and he showed you a world you only dreamed of. He eventually took you back to the beach and soon as he switched back to human his eyes flipped back to normal as well.

Once you were back standing in front of him on the ocean sand you look up at him and reach out for his hand. He meets you pulling you close to him. "Is this real? Are you real?" You had to ask because this seemed like some kind of fairy tale there was no way it was all real. "It is real, I am a merman. I am trusting you to keep that secret, but I want to see you again. Is that ok?" You were shocked by his request you wanted to see him again in and out of the water, you wanted to run away with him at this point but you didn't dare tell him that you didn't want to scare him. You nodded "Yes I want to see you again too. Can we go on a date maybe tomorrow?" You were surprised you were able to get that out and he smiled at you with the brightest smile you would ever see. "We will meet here at 3pm then, for now I have to go. Thank you for today, Y/N." As you waved goodbye you watched him walk to the gallery and back inside. You stood there flushed in the face, still soaking wet. You were excited to see what tomorrow would bring.

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princemick · 10 months

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TUMBLR F1BLR RULES!!!

hi, hello and welcome, we've seen what's been happening to twitter and we welcome you to our little corner.

there are however some things that differ from Twitter to Tumblr and so we have some different rules and behaviour then you might be used to!! I'm gonna try to explain them to you in this post! everything is below the tab!

reblog reblog reblog!!! likes do absolutely nothing, and your blog 'aestetic' in reblogs doesn't really matter unless you're a specific aesthetic blog, reblog are the way people see the content. likes are private! so remember to reblog the stuff you see and like!

DO NOT STEAL GIFS/GRAPHICS I WILL COME AFTER YOU!!! always ask if you can use a gif an then ALWAYS CREDIT properly

shipping is, prevalent. shipping even rpf is ingrained into tumblrs culture on every side of it if you dont like it thats a you thing, you can 'blacklist' tags so just add 'rpf' or the shipnames to them and you should be good!

continuing with that idea, curate your own experience is the most important thing on this site, blocking and blacklisting is normal and very much allowed and welcomed. almost no one is going to change how they do or act around here for one person, just unfollow or blacklist.

but do NOT put long posts or x reader fics, anything in the main tag without putting it under a 'read more' tab people will get annoyed by you

followers dont matter!!! no one CARESSS about basically anything this site is wonderfully anonymous and we can't see how many followers anyone has so genuinely no one gives a shit do whatever you want

remember to trigger tag and unlike twitter spell it out completely! so when a crash happens or is talked about make sure to tag it 'tw crash' even with reblogs!! also remember to tag when you're being negative about a driver as 'anti *insert first name*' never do full name then it will show up in their tags which defeats the purpose of anti tagging.

adding to that, use tags! they're one of the best tumblr features its free to be overenthusiastic and excited in the tags BUT the blog you can reblog it from AND the op can also read those tags so keep that in mind!!

be nice! this shud be a given, be nice, let people do their thing and vibe, just support people and block when u you dont vibe with them! when you do wanna send hate asks do it off anon, dont be shy do it on main

and things arnt 'weird' in the same way they are on twitter, this place has no drivers and no public figures so shame is a lot less existent here, you have to get used to that

and lastly as quoted by my anon 'Don't be afraid to be funny or weird be thirsty on main ship the middle aged man no one cares.'

and most of all. HAVE FUN!!! dont be scared to ask people how things work most of us are very okay with answering 'dumb' questions a lot of us have been here for about a decade we know its a confusing platform please ask away!

#kyle.txt #f1 #formula 1 #f1blr

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tangledinink · 11 months

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gasp!!! TWO chapters of teenage mutant what now? in one week!?!? .... NO :D thats not what this is! This is, however, a little side-fic/drabble I wrote at work yesterday on a whim. Read it on ao3 or below the cut!!!

This takes place a few months before the start of the main fic and is 'canon,' but is just a little character/relationship exploration thing? Donnie-centric / Brains-n-Brawn-centric. This is a little bit heavier than the main fic so pleaseee be mindful of the tags below!

Hunger has claws.

It will struggle a bit before it settles. Sometimes, after being idle for a while, it’ll suddenly start to fight again. It’ll rear up through your stomach and up into your chest, banging its head against your sternum and raking its nails down the inside of you, and it makes your face go hot and your vision swim and your mouth tastes like blood for just a minute as it screams and begs you.

But if you grit your teeth and bear it, it’ll settle down again after a minute or so and back off. And the comfortable sensation of ‘empty’ will come back to you. And except for in those rare, brief moments, hunger is relatively calm. It feels safe sometimes.

There is nothing inside me that will hurt me. There is nothing inside me that will hurt me. I have not put anything inside, so I know for a fact-- there is nothing inside me that will hurt me.

---

Donnie had been awake since four in the morning, much to his annoyance, but he had yet to do anything beyond stare at the wall since he realized he’d be unable to get back to sleep. He hadn’t even crawled out from under the covers, stayed bundled up beneath the soothing pressure of his weighted blanket, his face buried against the fabric and breathing in the scent of it. He could see his alarm clock from here, and knew that it would go off soon. He could see the beginnings of the sunrise beginning to color the glass pane of his window. He could hear the city outside slowly waking up.

He would really prefer it if it didn’t.

Anxiety prickled at his limbs, gnawing at his skin and keeping him awake, chewing on every corner of him, and he resisted a whine, bundling himself up even tighter and squeezing his eyes shut as if that might help.

Today felt wrong. He had hoped that a good night’s rest would reset things. You know. The good old ‘turn it off and turn it back on again.’ Yesterday had sucked, and he had really been banking on his ability to simply sleep this off because he, quite frankly, didn’t have any other ideas.

But now today felt even worse.

His alarm clock mocked him as another minute visibly ticked by, dragging him closer and closer to the inevitable. He was already dreading the prospect, waiting miserably for the device to begin chirping at him, demanding he start the day. The very thought made his stomach flip-flop with unwelcome nausea. He didn’t want to get out of bed. He didn’t want to leave his room. He didn’t want to do anything. And the worst part was that he knew he didn’t actually have to.

If he really wanted to, he could just turn the alarms off and stay in bed. He already knew exactly what would happen.

Eventually, when he didn’t come down from his room for breakfast, as per routine, his dad would come up to check on him, knocking softly on the door and poking his head in. And he’d ask, are you awake, Purple? And Donnie would grumble and nod from the covers. And then he would come in and close the door behind him and come over to his bed and ask, are you okay? What’s wrong? And Donnie knew that if he responded that it was a ‘bad day,’ said that he didn’t want to get out of bed, told him he was staying home today… Dad would let him.

He knew that their dad would sit with him for a while, and that he wouldn’t bring any expectations to the preceding conversation, but that he would stay and talk about it with them for a bit to see if that helped-- to see if discussing the problem was enough to resolve things and coax Donnie out of bed. And admittedly, sometimes it did. Sometimes just explaining why he was anxious or being reassured that he could call their dad to come pick them up at any point during the day was enough for him to settle and organize his thoughts enough that he’d decide to get up after all. And sometimes, it didn’t. And that was fine, too. Even now, he knew that if he asked for it, his father would absolutely allow him the day off and stay home with him.

But he also knew that if he asked for this, it would set off the warning bells.

He knew that his dad would ask him about what was wrong and why he was having a ‘bad day,’ and because Donnie couldn’t lie for the life of him, would eventually uncover that he had skipped two out of three meals the day prior, and then he would make him eat. Not right away, but at some point, he’d gently insist that Donnie consume at least something small to start, at least one of his protein shakes or some saltine crackers, something he knew Donnie liked and was ‘safe.’ They knew he’d call Mossy, and then she’d be trying to get them to do the same thing, too. And then Dad would be watching him, and making sure he was eating, and paying attention to ensure it, and Donnie wouldn’t be able to covertly skip any meals and sneak away, because he was allowed to have a bad day and stay in bed sometimes, but he wasn’t allowed to stop eating--

He couldn’t have both. He could either get out of bed…

Or he could eat.

Cornering his resolve, Donnie bit the insides of his cheeks and kicked off the covers.

---

The journey to school was basically hell.

Usually, he didn’t mind the subway. His siblings were very good about providing him with a ‘shield’ when it was overly crowded and making sure not too many people touched him or shoved up against him, his headphones kept all the noise and chatter at bay, and the rhythmic, back-and-forth sway of the train moving along the tracks was usually comforting to him, in an odd sort of way.

Today, it just made him want to throw up. And he had already wanted to throw up when he got on the subway.

The entire commute he had to focus all of his energy simply on not just straight up vomiting, fighting the urge to anxiously flick his wrists or bounce his leg, trying to keep his body settled and calm and not-visibly-distressed because usually he was okay with his family helping him, but not right now, because if they caught on that he was this anxious, they were going to pay more attention, and then they might catch on that he had faked out breakfast this morning (thank god for the absolute chaos of the Hamato’s first meal of the day, which made for excellent cover,) or seek him out and watch him during lunch, and then they would make him eat, and he didn’t want to eat. He couldn’t make himself engage in conversation, couldn’t manage to keep up with the chatter and back-and-forth with his family, so he instead summoned the very last of his social energy to invite Leo to listen to this new album that he thought he’d really like with him. And when Leo excitedly agreed, he synced their bluetooths, queued up a band he knew Leo had never listened to before on Spotify, and then focused on reciting digits of Pi silently in his head for the rest of the trip, trying desperately to keep the anxiety and nausea in check.

He had never been so relieved in his life as he was when they finally got to their stop, the robotic announcer cheerfully declaring that doors would be opening on the left. He felt his head swim just the tiniest bit when he rose up to his feet, but it backed off quick enough, and the absolute minute they were back above ground, breathing in the fresh breeze instead of hot, disgusting, horrendous subway air, worming into his lungs and sweating inside him, he practically cried with relief. He sucked in several long, deep breaths as they walked, and slowly let it out, biting the insides of his cheeks and grinding his teeth quietly inside his head.

It was fine. It was over. He made it through it, and it was over, and he was okay, see? And there was nothing inside him. Nothing inside him that would hurt him. Relax. You’re okay. There’s still nothing bad inside you.

A little voice in the back of his mind reminded him that this wasn’t rational. That he was being pretty fucking stupid right now. That he should really take out his phone, like, right now and text Mossy and tell her what was going on and figure it out and deal with it instead of playing these stupid mind games with himself.

But Mossy would make him eat. And he didn’t want to eat.

“Dude--”

He nearly toppled over when an arm shot out in front of him, smacking against his chest and stopping him dead in his tracks. He blinked in surprise, stumbling the tiniest bit to find his balance again.

Leo retracted his arm after a moment, giving the other a pointed look, one brow raised as the rest of the group paused to glance back at the two. “Uh. Earth to Donnie. Are you, like, good?” Leo questioned, frowning at him. “You literally just almost walked into a lamp post.”

Ah. So he had.

“... Hm. Well. That is… less than ideal,” he muttered, half-to-himself, a bit dazed for a moment, before he shook it off and re-centered his focus, clearing his throat slightly and giving a flourishing wave of his hand. “Right. Apologizes, dear brother. I’m afraid I didn’t get the most sleep last night,” not a lie. “I’m working on a new project,” also not a lie, “with that AI system I pioneered. Remember how I explained that to you? My intention is to develop an improved API to match the modifications I’ve made in the programming, considering that the framework itself has been altered slightly… I’m still working on updating some of the conditionals as well. It’s all mostly backend information, so I wasn’t sure it would really be necessary at first, but given the OS--”

“Okay! Okay, okay! This was not a request to explain your nerd coding stuff!” Leo interrupted with a groan, rolling his eyes, and Donnie sighed internally with relief. He knew that would work. For once he was glad that his twin was typically unwilling to listen to him spout off about his work.

He huffed and made some generic intelligence-based insult in Leo’s general direction in response as he brushed past him, sealing the legitimacy of his performance, and made a mental note to pay more attention to where he was walking for the rest of the day.

---

He was hungry, but it wasn’t so bad now. It was just a physical sensation that he was dimly aware of in the back of his mind and capable of tuning out. Because sure, his body might be hungry. But he sure wasn’t. He had absolutely zero desire to consume anything. The thought of eating was, quite frankly, wholly unappealing and he couldn’t imagine a single thing in the world right now that he would want to eat. Not even any of his favorites. Not even any of his safe foods.

If you ignore hunger long enough, you kind of don’t notice it so much anymore. You can get used to it. You can go a few days, even, before it becomes beastly enough to truly demand to be heard.

… Usually, he didn’t do this. Not anymore, anyway.

Usually, he was fine. Well. Maybe not always fine, per se, but usually all of this was manageable. It… had been a problem, once upon a time. I mean, it had always been a problem, but then it had become a real problem, and it had been unmanageable, and things had been a little rough for a second there (story of his fucking life,) but then he had gotten out from under it because he and Mossy talked about it a lot, and he and his Dad talked about it a lot, and he talked to his siblings some, too, and it got better and then eventually it got easier. He remembered, back then, when it was still unmanageable, way back in middle school, he used to have a chart. Because Mossy, the evil genius, had decided to prey up both his competitive nature and his love for filling out charts and graphs. And the rule had originally been at least two meals a day at least three days a week. That was the starting point. It was okay if the meal was a protein shake. It was okay if every meal was a protein shake. He just had to hit that goal.

And it was hard. Eating had always been hard, because there were so many foods that he just hated and so many foods that he didn’t know and sometimes it just felt bad. Sometimes, just the mere act alone of putting something in his mouth, chewing it, and then swallowing it was, in and of itself, simply revolting. But he could, at least, kind of handle it a bit better when he had a goal like that. And when he got to record the data on a graph once he had done it.

They had eventually upped that goal, and then upped it again, and again, until Donnie was able to hit it consistently enough for long enough that he had graduated from the chart altogether.

And it was hard sometimes, still. It had always been hard. But usually, it was hard in a way that he could navigate.

He wouldn’t be able to meet that first ‘starting point’ goal right now if he tried, he didn’t think.

He knew that he was supposed to eat. He knew that, biologically, it was an objective fact that he needed food to survive. And that fasting for long periods of time was unhealthy, and that he was damaging himself-- etc etc etc. Yeah, whatever.

He knew lots of stuff. That didn’t change things.

It was just as helpful as knowing that a hug was intended as pleasant and supportive when he was experiencing sensory overload. Or knowing there were no insects or hidden cameras in his room when he was in the middle of a full on fucking breakdown. Or knowing that he had already triple-checked that he shut down his soldering gun properly when it was the middle of the night and he couldn’t sleep and his brain was crawling with what-ifs?

That is to say, completely and utterly useless.

The nausea had persisted through the day, much to his chagrin, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t block out and ignore. Schoolwork made for a good distraction, and skipping lunch was as simple as tossing out what he had been packed for the day (sorry, Mikey,) and finding some corner of the library to hide in. He didn’t typically eat lunch with any of his siblings, given the size of their school and how poorly their schedules aligned for such purposes, and they all had their own friends to eat with, anyway. Maybe some of his friends would text him regarding his absence, but he wasn’t really worried about it. It wasn’t unusual for him not to come to lunch, given the nature of his hybrid-schooling model, and lying was a lot easier through text.

He liked the library. It was quiet here. And he really did have stuff to work on. He always did. The way his hands trembled was annoying, but did not deter him.

---

He felt Leo’s fingers tap against his ankle.

He had, admittedly, not exactly been focusing up until a second ago. Really, he hadn’t been focusing much for a while now. Their coach had told them to do ten sets of two-hundred’s, which was easy enough, but also meant a lot of back and forth. Donnie didn’t mind lots of back and forth. If anything, he enjoyed it. He liked swimming, and he did some of his best thinking in the water. How many incredible software programs and inventions and designs had been birthed here, after all?

But usually, he was capable of thinking and swimming in a straight line at the same time.

He was having a bit more trouble today than he’d like to admit.

He was beginning to get sore from how many times he had scraped himself up against the lane-line after losing focus and heading ever-so-slightly off track. And though he had kept his lead thus far, heading the charge as per usual, the repeated crashes had slowed him down. His lead was not quite as dominant as it normally was.

And Leo was trying to pass him.

Fuck.

Donnie bristled, immediately bringing his focus back into the world around him, throwing whatever dredges of energy he still had left into his front stroke and pulling back out ahead-- leaving Leo behind. It wasn’t terribly hard. He was easily the strongest swimmer on the team on a good day, and even on a bad day, he could edge out the rest of the pack.

It was just. Jesus, it was exhausting.

This wasn’t even a particularly demanding set. He was just fucking tired. And keeping his lead, though do-able, required everything he had left to give.

(Which was quite annoying, because he had been right in the middle of mentally unraveling a really complicated mathematics equation that he needed for a robotics project.)

One-by-one, all right after another, the group eventually finished their laps, ending up bunched up at the end of the lane, clinging to the side of the pool so everyone could catch their breath and guzzle down water. And at the beginning of the day, Donnie had been fine with water. He had been drinking water, earlier, at least. But somewhere along the line it had become bad no unclean bad harmful no no no absolutely do not no as well, and so he had stopped. Given the fact that everyone was already soaking wet and quite literally surrounded by water to begin with, however, it was quite easy to fake it.

And he had been hoping that the fact that Leo hadn’t managed to pass him would be enough to make him sulk and not be willing to bring it up. And, if not, he was expecting Leo to crow and tease him about his near-accomplishment, and then the two of them could fight with each other over it, and Donnie could be all annoyed and roll his eyes and make snarky quips, and that would be so much easier to manage.

But instead Leo gave him this concerned, sidelong sort of look and raised a brow and said, for the second time that day,

“Dude. You good?”

Donnie had kind of stared at him for a second, blinking slowly, processing, before he finally responded.

“Why?”

“You’re way slower than usual. And you kept hitting the lane-lines,” Leo observed, and dammit, Donnie didn’t know why he was even surprised that Leo noticed that-- of course he would.

“Are you feeling okay? You’re not getting sick or somethin’, are ya?” Raph questioned, looking Donnie up and down, his brows pinching with worry. Donnie frowned, hesitated, and then shrugged.

“I dunno. Maybe,” they muttered, and technically, that wasn’t a lie, either.

---

Though they had eventually backed off enough for them to get through the rest of swim practice, despite Raph’s repeated suggestions that they skip out early and head home if Donnie wasn’t feeling good, he could feel both of his brothers looking at him for the rest of the evening. It was starting to make his nerves bunch up and his vision kind of cave in in a way that he didn’t like. It was starting to make his head feel kind of hot and fuzzy in a way he didn’t care for. The fact that they were at swim, specifically, and not gymnastics or dance or literally anywhere else was really the only thing holding him together. He suspected he would have had a panic attack and vomited at least once by now otherwise.

But they were in the water.

He liked being in the water.

It was… comforting, he supposed. He had always really enjoyed the sensory experience of it. Of swimming, sure, but also just being in the water. He loved how sound became just a little bit blurred and far off when he ducked his head under, and would often tip his head back in between laps just so that his ears would get covered up and filled in and things would go a bit quiet and mumbly. He liked how softly the water touched him and how it held him up-- the weightlessness of it. He even liked the smell of chlorine, strangely enough. It felt nostalgic somehow.

At least once every single time he got in the pool, no matter what the reason or where they were, he always would dive all the way down to the bottom at least once. He liked being down below it all-- to curl up small on the pool floor and settle down and just… be there for a while.

It was so peaceful down there.

He swore he could stay down there forever. He would live at the bottom of the pool if he could get away with it. But eventually Raph would always peer down at him with this kind of worried look, like, are you good, or did you drown and I’ve gotta come get your corpse? And he’d remember that he wouldn’t be able to operate a welding torch or set up a PC down here and he’d come back up to the surface.

He did it five times today.

He liked being in the water.

The problem truly came when he had to get out of the water. Because once it was no longer physically holding him up, he already knew that there was a very real chance he was going to fall apart. And, even worse--

Getting out of the water meant swim practice was over. Which meant that they were that much closer to going home. Which meant that they were that much closer to dinner.

This was, by far, the most difficult meal to worm his way out of, especially considering he had just done it yesterday. And his brothers were already looking at him.

Typically, on Thursdays, Leo and Raph would go down the hall from the pool to the basketball court after swim practice was over for an hour or two before they headed back to the apartment for the evening. Sometimes Donnie would come, usually to sit and watch, rarely to participate, and sometimes he would head off without them and spend the time in his lab before everyone got home and they gathered for dinner. But Leo and Raph clearly had no intention of leaving him by himself right now, wordlessly agreeing to abandon any other previous plans for the evening and head straight home instead. And it was… nice. Donnie could certainly acknowledge that. It was, like, sweet, or whatever, that they were worried about him.

But it was so, so not what he wanted right now.

His body was absolutely weighed down with dread, so very much so that when he tried to follow his brothers and get out of the water at the end of practice, it didn’t quite work. He tried twice more, attempting to lift himself up on his shaking arms far enough to get his knee up onto the ledge, something that was usually easy for him, something he could usually accomplish without a second thought and even a bit of effort… but each time he just couldn’t quite get high enough and he fell back down.

“Donnie,” Raph said, slowly, carefully, his voice measured and gentle, after the third failure. “Can I touch you?”

Donnie grit his teeth in frustration, giving a short shake of his head no.

He could tell that Raph was frustrated, too, though he didn’t say it. “Okay,” he said. “Do you think you can make it to the ladder over there?” He asked instead, gesturing to the far side of the pool. The rest of the team chattered around them as they filed their way towards the locker rooms, talking with each other or discussing things with coaches, and Donnie wished so, so very desperately that they would all shut up. He tipped his head back to cover his ears, just for a second, just for a break, and Raph and Leo waited in silence until he finally righted himself again and nodded.

“Alright. Don’t swim though. Wall-walk over,” Raph instructed, with the kind of voice that said do not fucking argue with me, and usually Donnie would roll his eyes and scoff and be annoyed with the mere concept of Raph trying to tell him what to do like that, let alone implying that he couldn’t handle swimming across four lanes to get to the side of the pool… But he didn’t really have the energy for that right now.

(And also, maybe a tiny part of him wasn’t sure he could swim across four lanes right now. I mean. He was pretty sure he could. He had just swam, like, literally several miles. Surely he could still do this, right? But jesus christ, what if he couldn’t? What if what if what if?)

“Leo, go grab Donnie’s towel and the rest of his stuff from the locker room, alright?” Raph said. Leo visibly hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave his twin, not wanting to leave either of them and be somewhere else-- but he nodded anyway, and headed off at a brisk pace on his retrieval mission. Once he had headed off, Raph wasted no time in returning back to the water, entering via the lane next over to avoid jostling or splashing Donnie and then quickly diving down and under so he could rejoin his younger brother’s side.

He reminded him of a seal, Donnie thought distantly to himself. Not because he wasn’t graceful on land. He was. For someone as big and bulky as him, he could be shockingly nimble when he wanted to be, and he honestly didn’t give himself enough credit for it. It was more because of just how much more graceful he was in the water. The way he moved. Just like a seal-- gliding along effortlessly, almost elegantly with how poised and controlled his movements were, despite his size. Strength and power and finesse and precision all at once. Sometimes Donnie was jealous.

The journey over to the ladder wasn’t a difficult one. He probably could have swam. He was tired, and he was trembling, but not so bad that he couldn’t swim across a mere four lanes. But he wall-walked anyway and Raph lingered nearby, taking care not to crowd him but sticking close regardless, just in case, until they made it to the side of the pool. And Donnie climbed out, and then so did Raph, and Donnie managed to last about thirty seconds of being outside of the water before he, just as predicted, started to break apart.

He didn’t want to be touched right now, and gravity had its hands wrapped firm around each of his limbs and was pulling him, and it was horrendous. He just managed to get himself to the nearby bleachers, luckily not more than a few feet away, shaking like a leaf as he clawed his swim cap and goggles off of himself, tossing them aside, not caring where they ended up, just suddenly wanting them off. He hated how the air felt on his wet skin. He hated the weight to each of his limbs. He hated everything, he hated existing, and everything was toppling down around him and threatening to drown him now that he was on dry land. He curled himself up into a little ball, ducking his head down between his knees, and he wasn’t crying, exactly, and he wasn’t totally panicking either, but he was real close to both of them and a short, high-pitched whine escaped from him without his consent.

Something is wrong. Something is wrong. Something is wrong.

He felt awful.

The hunger was clawing again.

There is nothing inside me that will hurt me, he reminded himself desperately. There is nothing inside me that will hurt me. I have not put anything inside, so I know for a fact-- there is nothing inside me that will hurt me.

“Hey. Hey, it’s alright. You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna go home as soon as Leo gets back,” Raph soothed, crouching down next to him. “You’re doing good. Just deep breaths. Let me go grab your water bottle for you real fast so you can drink somethin’, alright? That’ll help--”

His heart jumped through his chest and his throat threatened to close up for a moment, the wobbly very-beginnings of a sob catching against his teeth. He shook his head sharply, every muscle in his body tensing as his breath escalated in its already rapid pace. No. No, he didn’t want that. He didn’t want his water bottle, and he didn’t want Raph to walk away from him, and he did not want to drink. It wouldn’t help. No. His throat was all dry and sticking together and his head was spinning and sore and pounding but he did not want that.

“Okay! Okay, alright, I don’t have to. I can stay,” Raph assured quickly, floundering just the tiniest bit, holding his hands up in surrender. Donnie grit his teeth, hissing out some noise that even he didn’t know the meaning of in response, drawing himself in tighter. And for a little bit, they were both just quiet, with Raph sitting there with him, waiting, watching, purposefully and audibly breathing slow and deep, and Donnie struggling to try to match him with his own ragged pants-- teetering on the very edges of a full panic attack and windmilling his arms wildly to avoid toppling over.

“Hey, Don?” Raph finally spoke again. “Can you lookit me for a sec?”

Donnie bristled, immediately shaking his head.

“I’m not askin’ for eye contact or anythin’, Donnie, I just wanna see your face real quick. You can keep your eyes shut, but can you just pick up your head a little? Please?”

Donnie whined, not really wanting to do that, either, but he did it anyway, just barely lifting his head. He couldn’t make himself meet his brother’s eyes, staring firmly down at the ground instead, and he felt like a fucking dog that get caught digging up the garden or something. And that alone was almost enough to make him tear up. He waited for whatever would come next with this lump in his throat, anxious anticipation biting at his spine.

“When’d you last eat?”

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. He knew he would figure it out, but the confirmation was somehow devastating anyway. He knew he would. He wasn’t stupid. Of course he would catch him, of course he would--

‘Nauseous,’ he signed in a weak defense, but Raph didn’t budge and Donnie wasn’t the least bit surprised. He couldn’t even blame him.

“Donnie.”

He considered lying for a moment, but then thought better of it. It wouldn’t work anyway.

‘Breakfast,’ he signed, sniffling weakly.

“Okay, but when?”

He hated how smart his brother was, and how well he knew him.

‘Yesterday.’ He had a protein shake for breakfast yesterday.

Raph buried his face in his hands, a frustrated sigh escaping him, and Donnie immediately retreated back beneath the cover of his own folded arms, a choked little hiccup escaping him.

“Sorry. Sorry. It’s not you. I’m not mad at you. Sorry,” Raph corrected right away, wincing slightly. “I’m not… mad. It’s alright. But-- Donnie. You have to eat. I know you know that!”

Donnie frowned, hunching his shoulders slightly, his face all shoved up against his knees.

‘I know.’

“Then why aren’t you? Did something happen?”

He stiffened a little, shaking his head.

‘I just don’t want to.’

“Donnie.”

‘It’s easier.’

“Don.”

‘It’s so much easier to just not--’

“Donnie,” Raph pressed. “I know. Okay? I know. But usually, you do it anyway! Usually you don’t do this! What happened?”

‘It’s stupid.’

“Okay. Look. I dunno if you know this or not, Don, but you’re pretty damn smart. So your definition of stupid is usually pretty skewed,” Raph scoffed softly. “So can you please just… tell Raph anyway?”

Donnie frowned, keeping quiet for a second, his nose scrunched up and his lips curled. And it took him a second before he finally signed a response.

‘Did you know Sierra is a vegan?’

Raph blinked slowly, seeming a tiny bit taken aback, just for a moment, before tilting his head to the side. “Sierra from your robotics team?”

Donnie nodded.

“Uh… No?”

‘I didn’t either!’ Donnie signed, this tiny, humorless, pained little laugh escaping from him. ‘But I do now! And all the reasons why she is, and about how she won’t eat anything with GMO’s or preservatives or artificial anything and a million other different things, and why, all in excruciating detail. We discussed it yesterday during lunch. And I learned so much shit that I didn’t want to know! And god, half of it is probably conspiracy theory bullshit that’s not even real, half of it sounds totally ridiculous and completely implausible by all rational, scientific standards, but I-- I don’t want to look it up! What if it is? And even if it’s not real, it doesn’t even matter! It’s not gonna help! And that’s the worst part!!! So what’s the point!?’

Raph sighed a bit. “Donnie…”

‘And it’s-- it’s so dumb! Because I don’t even believe in any of that stuff! I don’t agree with half of the stuff she said! It’s all stupid bullshit that probably isn’t real and not based on any sort of evidence, so I don’t know why I care, because I certainly don’t want to! I have no idea why this is bothering me so bad because it’s random and dumb and it shouldn’t! But I do care now, apparently, and everything feels gross and bad and wrong and I don’t-- I don’t want to. I can’t. It just. It feels so bad all of a sudden. I cannot fucking do it. I threw up, like, four times yesterday, Raph.’

Raphael visibly winced. And Donnie winced, too, and frowned, curling and uncurling his toes, rocking back and forth just the tiniest bit as he yanked at his own twists, rolling them between his fingers.

Raph kept quiet for a minute, and then he breathed deep out through his nose, and inhaled sharply.

“Okay. First of all. That ain’t stupid,” he said, and then hesitated a second. “Well. I mean. It’s a little stupid. I mean. The shit that Sierra said is probably mostly stupid. And your brain latchin’ on and bein’ anxious about it and givin’ you a hard time is kind of stupid, too,” he admitted. “... But that doesn’t make you stupid! I mean. It’s not like that’s your fault! You’re just… stuck dealin’ with other people’s stupid! And that’s dumb and it sucks, but it ain’t your fault!”

Donnie frowned, huffing very softly.

‘I should be able to figure it out,’ they argued, though half-heartedly. ‘I should be able to deal with this by now.’

“Okay, that’s stupid,” Raph said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just because you do somethin’ really hard for a long time doesn’t mean it’s never gonna be hard ever again! You just get good at handlin’ it. But it’s still hard! Shit’s still gonna be hard sometimes! And, like, yeah, this is hard for you. But different things are hard for different people! And I know that sounds corny or whatever, but listen,” he fixed Donnie with a hard look. “Raph thinks math is hard. Like. I think that algebra is crazy hard! But you don’t! So does that make me stupid? Or mean that I shouldn’t need your help with that stuff anymore? ‘Cause I should just figure it out?”

Donnie sighed softly, rolling his eyes. Curse him and his ‘turn it around on him’ type logic. He pursed his lips into a pout, very reluctantly signing ‘no’ in reply.

“Then shut up. It’s fine if this is a hard thing! And it’s fine if you need help! Especially ‘cause you do deal with it, like, literally every day! And you usually do a good damn job!” Raph argued. “But no one expects you to be perfect at it all the time, Don! Second of all--”

Raph relaxed his posture again slightly, resting his elbows on his knees.

“This sucks. And it’s hard and shit. But it’ll be okay. Leo’s gonna be back any minute now with your stuff, and we’ll call a cab and get you back home. And we’ll talk to Dad. And we can call Mossy. And we’ll figure it out. Alright? And look,”

Raph sighed deeply, frowning a tiny bit, his brows twitching down just the tiniest bit, creasing in the middle.

“Raph’s not gonna let anything hurt you, okay? Not even stupid preservatives or GMO’s or whatever the hell else Sierra said. I promise.”

Donnie stared at him for a second, slowly processing what he just did.

I’m sorry. Did his big brother actually just… swear to defend him from… GMO’s?

That was so fucking stupid.

He laughed for real this time, starting as a weak, watery little giggle and then quickly evolved into full-blown cackles. It kind of hurt his stomach, honestly, but he didn’t even care right now.

Oh my god. This was so fucking stupid.

Why did that actually make him feel so much better?

‘Okay,’ he signed, chuckling weakly and scrubbing at his face a few times. ‘Okay.’

Raph smiled, giving a firm nod in response.

“Okay,” he echoed.