#thats why I created this blog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hussyknee · 3 months

Text

I'm really not a villain enjoyer. I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. But I can't see fictional evil separate from real evil. As in not that enjoying dark fiction means you condone it, but that all fiction holds up some kind of mirror to the world as it is. Killing innocent people doesn't make you an iconic lesbian girlboss it just makes you part of the mundane and stultifying black rot of the universe.

"But characters struggling with honour and goodness and the egoism of being good are so boring." Cool well some of us actually struggle with that stuff on the daily because being a good person is complicated and harder than being an edgelord.

Sure you can use fiction to explore the darkness of human nature and learn empathy, but the world doesn't actually suffer from a deficit of empathy for powerful and privileged people who do heinous stuff. You could literally kill a thousand babies in broad daylight and they'll find a way to blame your childhood trauma for it as long as you're white, cisgender, abled and attractive, and you'll be their poor little meow meow by the end of the week. Don't act like you're advocating for Quasimodo when you're just making Elon Musk hot, smart and gay.

#this is one of the reasons why #although i would kill antis in real life if i could #i also don't trust anyone who identifies as 'pro-ship'#it's just an excuse to shut down legitimate ethical questions and engaging in honest self-reflective media consumption and critique #art doesn't exist in a vacuum #it's a flat impossibility for it not to inform nor be informed by real world politics and attitudes #because that's what it means to be created by human hands #we can't even make machine learning thats not just human bias fed into an algorithm #if the way we interact with art truly didn't influence anything then there would be no value in it #just because antis have weaponized those points in the most bad faith ways possible #doesn't mean you can ignore them in good faith #anyway fandom stans villains because society loves to defend and protect abusers #it's not because you get the chance to be free and empathetic and indulge in your darkness and what not #it's just people's normal levels of attachment to shitty people with an added layer of justification for it #this blog is for boring do-gooder enjoyers only #lol #knee of huss #fandom wank #media critique #pop culture #fandom discourse

189 notes · View notes

silveredsound · 18 days

Note

How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱

#sorry anon this is very much non con silv thinks about fandom and emotions and processes on main #there's a boy who has harry energy although more spoiled and sarcastic and this is delightful as i do actually think #which also i got a rude anon about once #that harry is not as nice as eveyone thinks #i think hes professional as fuck definitely #but i think hes a sarky little perfectionist and this delights me #but chemistry with everyone - thats the harry curse and blessing and the **** ****** one #sorry anon i know this was annoying #but i genuinely just really needed to get this out of me and acknowledge it all #fandom and fandom participation is something that is so important to us all #otherwise why would we have a little blog #let alone create posts of fic or gifs or edits #and god last year i said multiple times to shifty that i wished i had a fandom that i could wallow in as a happy place distraction #its very nice to feel engaged and delighted by something #i hope we can still be mates #i am a popstars and radio dj lover for life #i didn't even touch on teams i like and players and such cos not the point #tw: cancer #tw: death #tw: weight loss #sorry! i should have added those tw before!

25 notes · View notes

waterfallofspace · 3 months

Text

A Word-Filled Update

that no one's asking forrrr~

Sooooo, hiya~ ^^

Realized I kinda dropped out without much word, and wanted to give a lil update to anyone who may care, (and specifically to all the unfilled requests that have been sat in my inbox for months now T~T)

Dropping it under a cut because it gets quite long~ but I'll also TL;DR it with: been a bit burnt out, trying to get back into this, I apologize for all the unanswered asks, and I will be trying to get to the ones I can, but I'll be focusing more on trying to enjoy the process of making content~ Thank you to anyone who's stuck around <3

(Tw for brief mention of mental health/neurodivergencies~ nothing in depth or dark, but just incase anyone wants to avoid that <3)

Nothing serious has been going on, mostly just burn out and a bit of drama in main friend group, combined with free time just being a lot more limited recently~ (not a bad thing, most of it is because I'm getting to talk more with friends I've gotten closer to this past year~)

That said, I've been trying to get back into content, making it, reblogging it, etc, without letting it become all-consuming. I find, with the way my brain works, mostly to do to some wonderful neurodivergent tendencies, I tend to fall heavily into 'all of nothing' mentality.

This shows up in my day to day life, (ie: can't wash the dishes for weeks until I suddenly do them all in one day) and I've definitely noticed it with content creation. Need to write and finish a story in one go, record a wav as fast as possible, always afraid I'll lose that motivation.

But honestly? I love making content on here! And I'm not a huge blog, nor do I care if I am (at least trying not to, if I'm being painfully honest~) but I genuinely love making content. Whether it's just for me, a request that I am hoping one specific person will enjoy, or a story I write with a community in mind, I just love creating~

So, I'm trying to ease my way back into this! Bit by bit, let it be fun, and enjoyable, with less internal pressure to produce as much as I can, as fast as I can, and make it be perfect.

I won't lie and say 'numbers don't matter to me', if I'm honest, they do. But I'm learning more and more how to let it be about the content, and to just enjoy the process~ (and if people like it, that'll be a wonderful bonus!~)

Wooo this is getting so long, I apologize sincerely! Last thing, something I've mentioned a few times previously but never really let myself get into... requests~

I'm so honoured that people care about my content enough to have asked for things, and getting any ask, request, praise, ask lists, heck even just a 'hi!' is honestly the best part of this blog for me!

Buuuut, I definitely worked myself into burn-out before with a "every request needs to be filled and fast" mentality, that led to just... not filling any.

So! I'm going back through my inbox, and deleting some older ones that I don't have a clear vision/motivation for. I apologize to anyone who requested them, though by now it's possible they're long gone~ But I think this will help me not only start enjoying the creation process without feeling so overwhelmed, but also start actually getting more content made~

There are definitely a bunch that I still adore, and am thrilled to get to test out, but if there's one you remember sending, and you really want to see it completed, please feel free to send another ask saying what it is you want done, and I'll see if I can get that going <3

And if you've stuck it out to the end here- uh hi! ^^ I'm sorry this is so long, I'm such a words person, but I appreciate you so much, not just for any support you've offered, but just bothering to read this <3 I genuinely didn't expect most to make it this far, so thank you so deeply <3 and I hope to see you guys around as I start reblogging stuff more!~

#waterfalltalks #waterfallrambles #more like waterfallparagraphs im so sorry hahaha #been thinking about making this for awhile- but always felt so anxious???#idk why specifically... maybe cause i cant be short to save my life #or maybe because it feels like ive left it too long?? been promising so much and never fulfilling #but i am gonna try!! not to fulfill everything but- to start enjoying it again #i worry this comes off like i have an ego... i really dont haha~ i dont expect anyone to really interact with my blog or care #it was always meant to be for ME- and i just hoped to create things ID enjoy and that #if anyone else enjoyed it too that i could start giving back to the community thats given me so much content ive adored #anyways this is a LONNNGGG post and so are these tags hahaha~#using this blog as a journal again i think! but its mine! so okay! im gonna let myself!#gonna add here too that i might be reblogging with shorter tags for a bit- i promise its not cause im not excited!!!#just trying to make it the least overwhelming situation so i can start really getting back into ENJOYING it~#thank you to anyone who read this far and a huge thank you to all my friends from here and anyone who stuck around <3 #i appreciate and love you all so dearly <333 #not snz

25 notes · View notes

zedif-y · 1 year

Text

fuck it . reblog this and put in the tags who your favorite youtuber/streamer is and why . i'll start (you can give more than one)

feel free to ramble!! i'm curious!

#ryan's screaming #ur answers dont Have to be mcyt related but this is a mcyt blog so :p #mcyt #mcytblr #hermitcraft #trafficblr #okay okay so.#my favorites are impulse and zedaph . tango to an extent as well but i admit impulse and zed are my favorites by a mile #i cant fully articulate why i love impulse so much because its really a whole variety of reasons #his videos/content in general just have such a calming effect on me man #i love how he interacts with people and he has such a nice voice and it genuinely makes me so happy when he creates something awesome #like yeah!! yeah be proud!! thats fucking awesome!#scar and skizz have mentioned this too but the fact that hes a good leader . the fact that he looks out for other people the fact that hes-#-a genuinely good guy .#i hope this isnt weird KLJDSGHKJSDG #im just... i know i dont Really know him . obviously i dont know him on a personal level . but the fact that the people who Do and are-#-around him have such good things to say...#and not just that his work ethic makes me actually insane . dude is on a GRIND and he works hard and it shows!! it really does!#he said himself he reads every comment he gets and when he runs out he reads SKIZZ'S COMMENTS #he cares so much about the content he puts out and that care SHOWS. IT BLEEDS INTO HIS WORK. I LOVE IMPULSESV!!!!!#and like. ive already rambled about zedaph #but i really really really seriously think hes so underrated #because man. MAN you can see the hard work as well #hes so clever. hes so witty . hes creative as HELL #his videos are unlike anything ive ever seen and ive never watched a zedaph video and NOT laughed #like how does he come up with this ?!?!?#not to mention the care he puts into zedcraft . i may not be a part of it but??? THE MONTHLY EVENTS??#his editing is AMAZING too #and THE MERCH. THE MERCH!! like yes i know its not like he crafted and designed all of his merch by hand . like dot drew the create cube-#-and the olympzits was designed and built by the zedcraft community

42 notes · View notes

silenthillbunni · 4 months

Text

ig i just personally dont rlly vibe w ppl who think that merely saying 'i wish they died' just to lighten the heavy weight of their overwhelming emotions (that they cant control may i add) is the same thing as actively actually murdering someone 💀

#did u know that venting can actually make someone feel a bit better and less inclined to act on thoughts.....#when u create environment in society where u force everyone to supress and hide all their ugly thoughts and emotions #those feelings will grow stronger and stronger and poison you #and that's why ppl eventually explode when it cant be contained anymore #ppl expressing things - that they prob dont even mean or want to be true or a reality #is nowhere near the same thing as ppl acting on it or causing others harm #but then also i am of the opinion that *everyone* deserves help and treatment. ppl shouldnt be discarded and labeled as broken or crazy #sm ppl have overwhelming emotions they cant control bc all of our brains are different. there should be *quality* help available for everyo #instead we live in a society that shames ppl. that push ppl into boxes and say #if u dont fit into this tiny neat little square u are ugly broken disgusting and reprihensible!!!#then they just banish u to the shadows where they dont have to see u or look at u #anyway this is a whole society thing that is connected to this issue in my braib #brain*#what i was gonna say was that i personally think venting and expressing your thoughts - no matter how ugly they are #is necessary for humans. esp when it's in a space where the potential target of the thoughts wont see #esp when there are no plans of taking yhe thoughts into action #asl long as u can separate complaining and venting ur frustrations and causing someone (undeserved) harm irl #thats just who i am and this is my blog and i dont appreciate ppl telling me #that i have to shove it all back inside and im not allowed to express anything #if you're a wasp who thinks everything should be bottled up. that everything should be expressed delicately #then u do you. but you do not tell me that i have to conform to your ways. i find your ways harmful and regressive #so maybe we should just go our separate ways huh? everyone arent meant to get along #theres no use in arguing or fighting or reprimanding ppl everytime u see smth u dont agree with #esp when all u see is a *thought* that causes no material harm to another person. then u should just be on ur merry way

14 notes · View notes

gabe-lovebot · 4 months

Text

life is weird and complex because it doesn't matter if you have 2 hours of free time or have the whole week off, you will always have a game you want to play, a thing you want to read, inspiration to practice your craft, some niche topic you want to research, an activity you want to do with friends, and you will always, always feel like there are not enough hours in the day to do it all

there will be days when you have free time and no energy to do the things you want to do, there will be days when you have so much energy that you can't decide what you want to spend it on, and you'll think that those days are wasted but i think that doesn't matter, and that life is at its best when you are at that point when you have so many options in your hands and so many plans for fun you will have in both the present and the future that it keeps you up at night and derails your sleep schedule and even motivates you enough to wake up every morning and helps you go through anything you have to do so you can spend more time doing what makes you happy, i really think thats what we're here for

#void.txt #speaking of im currently debating launching bg3 or grabbing my drawing tablet for some anatomy practice #instead im here #and thats fine too #anyways hello i was hit by feelings again #most of the things i want to do are fuelled by my need to create and consume more gabriel ultrakill content which is why im posting it on--#--this blog but this can apply to just about anything so #you can make 200 plans for the future and you might worry that you'll never do everything you want to do #but that doesnt mean your time is wasted #you can be happy just doing the 1 thing youre doing in the present #i spent the past 20 minutes writing this post while trying to solve my internal debate while also petting the family dog

3 notes · View notes

bigothteddies · 8 months

Text

saw a post the other day complaining about “like scolding” which ironically….everyone was reblogging

#like of y’all are reblogging posts then ‘likescolding’ isnt being directed at you #sorry if you dont create content and understand how rhe like-to-reblog ratio has changed over the years!#sorry if you havent been here long enough to know that blank blogs and ‘spankbank’ spam liking blogs have ALWAYS been discouraged #saw someone being like ‘if youre just gonna guilt trip me for liking your post i simply wont like it’#like….okay? thats fundamentally the same thing?#you liking or not liking a post has no impact it does nothing ? there’s no algorithm?#likes are a great function!#i use it to confirm that ive seen a post before #i use it to show mutuals i like their posts #i use it to show people i appreciate their tags on my posts #my partner used it to save things for later!#i love the like button!#but if people take this criticism toward the circulation of the site dying #as a personal attack on them then that is THEIR problem #if you dont reblog shit then youre not actually a part of the community!#reblog shit !!!#genuinely blowing my mind like y’all are REBLOGGING a post #complaining about likescolding #LITERALLY SHOWING WHY REBLOGGING IS IMPORTANT #and still dont grt it?#unimportant thoughts

4 notes · View notes

im-a-goddamn-cat · 1 year

Text

sorry i change my url so much. it WILL happen again

#im so indecisive #i just counted and over the almost 10 years ive had this blog ive had 25 different urls #good lord #thats why i created that carrd to list/keep track of all my urls #both for myself and for ppl who follow me in case they forget who i am #(i linked it in my description)#meowing #tumblr

9 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 9 months

Note

GLAD STREAM WENT SMOOTHLY THIS TIME had so much fun!!

BUT NOOOOOOO SOME OF YOUR FRAMING AND ANGLES REMINDED ME... We finished Hero recently so we rewatched Hero SP and watched the "sequel"… Hero SP is still my favorite thing to come out of it by far TBH but I was happy to see Nakai's character back in the latter [he's got this starting-to-grey beard, so Obviously I Was Thinking About Arakawa Aging In The Years Ichi Was Gone, and also he's smiling almost every second he's on-screen so I was :] ].

At the same time, because Takita's a Sympathetic Antagonist Who Went To Prison Returning In A Sequel… it put the fear of God in me with regard to Jo coming back because [spoilers </3] Takita's only in it for two-and-a-half scenes and he has cancer… I would say One Fear but again I have MANY FEARS when it comes to Jo and honestly MOST OF THEM are about not getting a satisfactory resolution [if there has to be one], like Aoki. I'd already made my peace with him not coming back at all in 2019 [2018 if I'm counting RGGJo]… pleeease don't do him dirty that's my emotional support shitty old bitch 😭😭😭

Extremely specific worries aside here are Nakai's dogs Kurumi and Pairan as promised :] Kurumi means walnut... if you even care...

STREAM WORKING MEANS I DIDNT HAVE TO PICK UP ICE FISHING YIPPEE !!!!!!!!

ABOUT JO THO AND HIS INEVITABLE-RETURN-BUT-UNCERTAIN FATE.... we can only wait... rgg wont let me in their basement anymore i cant leak secrets as to what could happen to him- at the very least i hope the rgg team understands people like satisfactory, Non Bullshit endings to character arcs.... so here's to hoping he gets that if possible :] if not uhhhh hope he gets the least cringe exit from the series :]]

BUT NAKAI'S DOGS HELLOOOOO THEY'RE BABIES I LOVE THEM HIIII !!!!!!! THEIR NAMES ARE SO CUTE PAIRAN AND CHESTNUT..... im ashamed to admit i already knew 'kurumi' meant chestnut.... as krillin's name from dragon ball derives from 'kuri'.... that doesnt make the name any less cute it makes them better TO ME (❁´▽`❁)

#long post #snap chats #i was about to ask if i should watch hero but then i see hiroshi abe is in it and idk why that makes me compelled to watch...#when i have time.. i will certainly examine it with my eyeballs..#moreover im surprised my comic got you thinkin of hero..... most curious as to how exactly tho cool nevertheless...#rip takita you were chill as hell for killin a dude for fuckin with the ocean... rip about the cancer you were baller in my eyes...#fuck but speaking of middle-of-aging arakawa i keep forgetting i did want to draw that. and by Draw That i mean like.#just basically give y7 arakawa rggo arakawa's stubble LMAO one day... when i stop being plagued with images..#ok is everyone gone. are you all done reading. get out #THAT PEONY IS SO PRETTY thats what i think mr nakai... and chestnut is an adorable baby 😭😭😭#TWO BIG ASS DOGS he really is living the life... im crying omg...#THEYRE SO CUUUUUUUTE I LOVE DOGSSSSSS WAHHHH #anyway. to end this ramble. DID NOT expect to scroll down to see my guy with the unbuttoned shirt HELLO #stylish...... chique...... SUCH a vibe with the two dogs in the backyard....#genuinely obsessed with the like five blog posts youve sent me of nakai's......#ok im taking a walk. probably accidentally think of more things to create BYE #many thanks for the dog pics.......... mwah...

4 notes · View notes