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reasonsforhope · 8 months

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Story from the Washington Post here, non-paywall version here.

Washington Post stop blocking linksharing and shit challenge.

"The young woman was catatonic, stuck at the nurses’ station — unmoving, unblinking and unknowing of where or who she was.

Her name was April Burrell.

Before she became a patient, April had been an outgoing, straight-A student majoring in accounting at the University of Maryland Eastern Shore. But after a traumatic event when she was 21, April suddenly developed psychosis and became lost in a constant state of visual and auditory hallucinations. The former high school valedictorian could no longer communicate, bathe or take care of herself.

April was diagnosed with a severe form of schizophrenia, an often devastating mental illness that affects approximately 1 percent of the global population and can drastically impair how patients behave and perceive reality.

“She was the first person I ever saw as a patient,” said Sander Markx, director of precision psychiatry at Columbia University, who was still a medical student in 2000 when he first encountered April. “She is, to this day, the sickest patient I’ve ever seen.” ...

It would be nearly two decades before their paths crossed again. But in 2018, another chance encounter led to several medical discoveries...

Markx and his colleagues discovered that although April’s illness was clinically indistinguishable from schizophrenia, she also had lupus, an underlying and treatable autoimmune condition that was attacking her brain.

After months of targeted treatments [for lupus] — and more than two decades trapped in her mind — April woke up.

The awakening of April — and the successful treatment of other people with similar conditions — now stand to transform care for some of psychiatry’s sickest patients, many of whom are languishing in mental institutions.

Researchers working with the New York state mental health-care system have identified about 200 patients with autoimmune diseases, some institutionalized for years, who may be helped by the discovery.

And scientists around the world, including Germany and Britain, are conducting similar research, finding that underlying autoimmune and inflammatory processes may be more common in patients with a variety of psychiatric syndromes than previously believed.

Although the current research probably will help only a small subset of patients, the impact of the work is already beginning to reshape the practice of psychiatry and the way many cases of mental illness are diagnosed and treated.

“These are the forgotten souls,” said Markx. “We’re not just improving the lives of these people, but we’re bringing them back from a place that I didn’t think they could come back from.” ...

Waking up after two decades

The medical team set to work counteracting April’s rampaging immune system and started April on an intensive immunotherapy treatment for neuropsychiatric lupus...

The regimen is grueling, requiring a month-long break between each of the six rounds to allow the immune system to recover. But April started showing signs of improvement almost immediately...

A joyful reunion

“I’ve always wanted my sister to get back to who she was,” Guy Burrell said.

In 2020, April was deemed mentally competent to discharge herself from the psychiatric hospital where she had lived for nearly two decades, and she moved to a rehabilitation center...

Because of visiting restrictions related to covid, the family’s face-to-face reunion with April was delayed until last year. April’s brother, sister-in-law and their kids were finally able to visit her at a rehabilitation center, and the occasion was tearful and joyous.

“When she came in there, you would’ve thought she was a brand-new person,” Guy Burrell said. “She knew all of us, remembered different stuff from back when she was a child.” ...

The family felt as if they’d witnessed a miracle.

“She was hugging me, she was holding my hand,” Guy Burrell said. “You might as well have thrown a parade because we were so happy, because we hadn’t seen her like that in, like, forever.”

“It was like she came home,” Markx said. “We never thought that was possible.”

...After April’s unexpected recovery, the medical team put out an alert to the hospital system to identify any patients with antibody markers for autoimmune disease. A few months later, Anca Askanase, a rheumatologist and director of the Columbia Lupus Center,who had been on April’s treatment team, approached Markx. “I think we found our girl,” she said.

Bringing back Devine

When Devine Cruz was 9, she began to hear voices. At first, the voices fought with one another. But as she grew older, the voices would talk about her, [and over the years, things got worse].

For more than a decade, the young woman moved in and out of hospitals for treatment. Her symptoms included visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as delusions that prevented her from living a normal life.

Devine was eventually diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which can result in symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. She also was diagnosed with intellectual disability.

She was on a laundry list of drugs — two antipsychotic medications, lithium, clonazepam, Ativan and benztropine — that came with a litany of side effects but didn’t resolve all her symptoms...

She also had lupus, which she had been diagnosed with when she was about 14, although doctors had never made a connection between the disease and her mental health...

Last August, the medical team prescribed monthly immunosuppressive infusions of corticosteroids and chemotherapy drugs, a regime similar to what April had been given a few years prior. By October, there were already dramatic signs of improvement.

“She was like ‘Yeah, I gotta go,’” Markx said. “‘Like, I’ve been missing out.’”

After several treatments, Devine began developing awareness that the voices in her head were different from real voices, a sign that she was reconnecting with reality. She finished her sixth and final round of infusions in January.

In March, she was well enough to meet with a reporter. “I feel like I’m already better,” Devine said during a conversation in Markx’s office at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, where she was treated. “I feel myself being a person that I was supposed to be my whole entire life.” ...

Her recovery is remarkable for several reasons, her doctors said. The voices and visions have stopped. And she no longer meets the diagnostic criteria for either schizoaffective disorder or intellectual disability, Markx said...

Today, Devine lives with her mother and is leading a more active and engaged life. She helps her mother cook, goes to the grocery store and navigates public transportation to keep her appointments. She is even babysitting her siblings’ young children — listening to music, taking them to the park or watching “Frozen 2” — responsibilities her family never would have entrusted her with before her recovery.

Expanding the search for more patients

While it is likely that only a subset of people diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychotic disorders have an underlying autoimmune condition, Markx and other doctors believe there are probably many more patients whose psychiatric conditions are caused or exacerbated by autoimmune issues...

The cases of April and Devine also helped inspire the development of the SNF Center for Precision Psychiatry and Mental Health at Columbia, which was named for the Stavros Niarchos Foundation, which awarded it a $75 million grant in April. The goal of the center is to develop new treatments based on specific genetic and autoimmune causes of psychiatric illness, said Joseph Gogos, co-director of the SNF Center.

Markx said he has begun care and treatment on about 40 patients since the SNF Center opened. The SNF Center is working with the New York State Office of Mental Health, which oversees one of the largest public mental health systems in America, to conduct whole genome sequencing and autoimmunity screening on inpatients at long-term facilities.

For “the most disabled, the sickest of the sick, even if we can help just a small fraction of them, by doing these detailed analyses, that’s worth something,” said Thomas Smith, chief medical officer for the New York State Office of Mental Health. “You’re helping save someone’s life, get them out of the hospital, have them live in the community, go home.”

Discussions are underway to extend the search to the 20,000 outpatients in the New York state system as well. Serious psychiatric disorders, like schizophrenia, are more likely to be undertreated in underprivileged groups. And autoimmune disorders like lupus disproportionately affect women and people of color with more severity.

Changing psychiatric care

How many people ultimately will be helped by the research remains a subject of debate in the scientific community. But the research has spurred excitement about the potential to better understand what is going on in the brain during serious mental illness...

Emerging research has implicated inflammation and immunological dysfunction as potential players in a variety of neuropsychiatric conditions, including schizophrenia, depression and autism.

“It opens new treatment possibilities to patients that used to be treated very differently,” said Ludger Tebartz van Elst, a professor of psychiatry and psychotherapy at University Medical Clinic Freiburg in Germany.

In one study, published last year in Molecular Psychiatry, Tebartz van Elst and his colleagues identified 91 psychiatric patients with suspected autoimmune diseases, and reported that immunotherapies benefited the majority of them.

Belinda Lennox, head of the psychiatry department at the University of Oxford, is enrolling patients in clinical trials to test the effectiveness of immunotherapy for autoimmune psychosis patients.

As a result of the research, screenings for immunological markers in psychotic patients are already routine in Germany, where psychiatrists regularly collect samples from cerebrospinal fluid.

Markx is also doing similar screening with his patients. He believes highly sensitive and inexpensive blood tests to detect different antibodies should become part of the standard screening protocol for psychosis.

Also on the horizon: more targeted immunotherapy rather than current “sledgehammer approaches” that suppress the immune system on a broad level, said George Yancopoulos, the co-founder and president of the pharmaceutical company Regeneron.

“I think we’re at the dawn of a new era. This is just the beginning,” said Yancopoulos."

-via The Washington Post, June 1, 2023

#mental illness #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #psychotic disorders #psychology #neurology #autoimmune #autoimmine disease #neuroscience #medical news #medical research #catatonia #immunotherapy #immune system #clinical trials #good news #hope

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httpdollie · 6 months

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OBSESSIVE FANBOY! CHOSO KAMO X FEM! READER HCS

warning: yandere themes, stalking, dub-con, coercion, breeding, whiny perv!choso, dancer! choso, manipulation, somno, dark content (i’m not responsible for the content you consume)

request are closed for one piece

blank blogs and minors will get blocked ( i check)

Fanboy! Choso who makes kpop choreo and kpop reaction videos on youtube and has a huge fanbase of his own

Fanboy! Choso who found out about you on kpop stan twitter after your group debuted and blew up after your b-side music video was released

Fanboy! Choso quickly fell in love with your beauty and talent as the center and lead vocalist in your group

Fanboy! Choso who loves how contrasting his grunge aesthetic is compared to the soft colours your wore all the time

Fanboy! Choso who’s very openly obsessed with you, to the point where it annoys his brothers sometimes

Fanboy! Choso who has to hide the fact he’s a solo stan on his youtube but watches fancams and edits of you all the time

Fanboy! Choso who’s dedicated and shows up to every single one of your concerts even if it’s not in his country, when he’s been questioned by a fan once he claimed it cause he was interested in making choreo for the group

Fanboy! Choso who’s has a anon account that has over 16.K followers on kpop twitter for having an insane photo card collection and posting selcas and edited fancams and simply being a fan that knows an intense amount about you (but no one cares cause he also posts hand pics)

Fanboy! Choso who forces his brothers so listen to your group and pick a bias and secretly got annoyed when yuji said he also biases you.

Fanboy! Choso who has fans that feed into the delusion that the two of you are soulmates and make fan edits and fanfiction of you guys ( he reads and watches them religiously)

Fanboy Choso who has every version of lightstick you have, his obsession is so bad he had to make new bookshelves to hold all his stuff (seasons greetings packs , postcards, framed pictures, signed shirts, albums and cd’s)

Fanboy! Choso who accidentally made his way into the toxic side of your fandom and made friends with other stan’s and would highkey be a toxic fan and dox anti’s

Fanboy! Choso who goes crazy when you get asked what your type is said your type was alt guys and dark hair, he immediately tweeted how “y/n literally made that comment about me guys!” not realizing his was on his main account…

Fanboy! Choso who almost died when he realized your group member account liked his tweet

Fanboy! Choso who religiously watches variety show and interviews with you because he adores your voice, mannerisms and personality

Fanboy! Choso who stalks your instagram account daily and rewatches your stories and scrolls through your posts

Fanboy! Choso who loses his shit when your manager reached out to him to make choreo for the title track of your first full album, he plays his cards safe and makes a very cute yet alluring

Fanboy! Choso who’s swears luck is on his side when he sees you moving into an apartment complex after working with you, he spotted with a security moving boxes into a lobby and truly started questioning of god existed

Fanboy! Choso who just happened to move to the apartment complex across from yours, acting surprised when you finally bump into each other, he felt like he was insane for doing it but felt so relieved after he saw how you smiled at him; makes him feel like anything is worth it if it’s for you

Fanboy! Choso almost had a heart attack when you dropped by to give him a welcome to the apartment complex by giving him a cake, and coffee mentioning how you’ve seen a couple of his videos and knows what he likes (he thought his cover was blown and almost started crying and apologizing on the spot until you said you want him to help you with choreo)

Fanboy! Choso who has a album on his phone dedicated to you of videos he took while training without you knowing, specifically pics he took and refuses to show to anyone, including his brother

Fanboy! Choso remembers when his ex said he was very hardworking and how she admired it, and hopes he’s good enough for you

Fanboy! Choso who feels so guilty everytime you post, he can’t help but get a hard on

Fanboy Choso who makes choreo for your group for the second time and feels so guilty about making it more sexual than normal but says it’s for a new “sugar and spice” concept for your comeback

Fanboy! Choso who acts so innocent when he grabs your ass or your tits telling you how he didn’t mean to

Fanboy! Choso who’s guilt immediately washed away when he sees you performing such a sexual dance in frilly form fitting dresses, miniskirts and thigh highs all done up like a doll, he felt zero shame in recording

Fanboy! Choso who made cum tributes to your normal pictures

Fanboy! Choso who dyes the a skunk stripe the same colour as yours every comeback (even if you’re wearing a wig or not) as a way of remind him of you

Fanboy! Choso who buys the perfume you wear, spraying it on dirty clothes of yours he stole to smell while he jerks off to panty shots he took, the second he cums he feels so guilty

Fanboy! Choso who sneaks into your room and jerks off to your pretty face and body while you sleep with your panties wrapped around his cock

Fanboy! Choso who can’t help but feel you up, kissing your neck gently, telling you how pretty you look and how talented and beautiful you are whenever you train together

Fanboy! Choso who tampers with your birth control til it’s ineffective so you go off it not knowing why it stopped working

Fanboy! Choso who loses control after you train in a pink miniskirt and white cami with no bra

Fanboy! Chose who loves using you in your sleep, leaving you nice, full and confused for the morning

Fanboy! Choso who can’t stop apologizing while he has you pressed against the couch, hands pinned together with one of his while the other rubs and caresses your tits and tights oh so gently, kissing your neck softly muttering about how sorry he is when he pressed his bulge against your cunt. whimpering about how warm and pretty you are and how good he wants to make ou feel.

“Oh fuck bunny, you’re so tight.” He groaned loudly, watching your eyes shut tight as he pounded you into your couch. “I’m sorry baby, I couldn’t hold back anymore- you look so good in this skirt, and your tits were practically falling out of your shirt like a slut… Ah fuck!” He said, unapologetically. Continuing to slam his thick cock deeper and deeper into you.

You felt your legs tingle as he has them pressed next to your ears, leaning forward pressing a sloppy kiss along your jawline peppering your cheek before kissing your lips, oh so passionately. His eagerness and desire for you practically had you dripping for him when he first lifted your miniskirt.

He picked up the pace, chasing closer and closer to his climax, whimpering and moaning into your mouth. You felt his tip kiss against your cervix, making your toes curl as he reached deep inside your puffy pussy. “I’m gonna cum bunny, fuck! I’m gonna fill this tight little pussy!” He moaned against your lips. feeling you squirm under him squeaking about not being on birth control. Your pushy clenching around him while you panicked, making his heavy dick twitch inside you.

“Choso! Oh my god! Pull out, it’s not safe for me!”

“Oh fuck don’t say that- I can’t stop, baby your practically milking my cock! I’m sorry bunny!” he groaned loudly before pressing his lips against yours, holding you down while his cum flooded your cunt. “I’m sorry, ‘m sorry.” he whispered apologetically. Kissing you more tenderly to show his apology. His actions saying otherwise as you felt him get hard again as pushed his cum deeper inside you.

Fanboy! Choso who begs you to go along with a fantasy for weeks before you actually do it because he was so needy, so you finally go stage with a heart shaped plug in you pretty cunt, making sure you keep your cum inside you when you talk to your fans during a fan meet

Fanboy! Choso who exposes his obsession with you after he blindfolded you and took you to his bedroom, he took it off while he was balls deep inside you begging for you to make him a good daddy

Fanboy! Choso who leaks a sex tape of you all fucked out and dripping with his cum so he can have you all to himself…

#— dolly writes #jjk x reader #jjk smut #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo #choso x reader #kamo choso #kamo choso x reader #yandere jjk #yandere!choso kamo x reader #choso smut #choso kamo smut #kamo choso smut #yandere jujutsu kaisen #— dolly’s dark thoughts 💭

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teapartyprincess4two · 3 months

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I’m begging you PLS make AT LEAST a part 2 for sturniolos older sister, I genuinely am so obsessed I’ve read it at least 5 times today. I need a series but- I’m a needy person so… PLS

Big Sister Pt. 2- Sturniolo Triplets

pairing: bigsister!reader x littlebrother!triplets

classification: fluff, sibling banter

warnings: use of y/n, slight cursing, VERY LONG

inspiration: request^^

summary: After visiting the triplets in L.A, the reader returns back home and works with her brothers to plan another get together. This time the triplets visit her, taking a trip down to the Lone Star State.

Big Sister PT.1, PT2, PT.3

—

“No, May doesn’t work for me. I’m still working in May, I won’t be on vacation until June,” you mumbled, scrolling relentlessly on your laptop in search of flights from L.A to Texas. The search seemed endless because you and your brothers couldn’t seem to coordinate schedules, all of you either being too busy with work or tied down to previous commitments. “Okay. So then we’ll go down in June,” Chris’s voice rang through the phone, stating it like it was an obvious solution.

Nick groaned at this statement, immediately thinking of how hot it would be in Texas during the summer, “it’s going to be so hot though!” He loved you, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to deal with the Texas heat for two entire weeks. Once Matt had heard Nick’s comment he interjected, “Stop being a baby, Nick. We’re going down in June.” You were only half listening to them, still scrolling away on your laptop trying to find 3 two-way tickets that wouldn’t completely drain your bank account.

In all honesty, you were surprised they’d even agreed to visit you. Usually it was you and Justin making the trip to L.A to visit them because they were always so busy. When you mentioned it to your husband Jack, he was equally as surprised but also extremely excited because he was never able to take enough time off work to accompany you on your trips to L.A.

“Fine. Y/n, we’re going down in June,” Nick said, defeat evident in his voice. He supposed he was just going to have to put up with the Texas heat because he could not find it in himself to argue with Matt or Chris right now. They awaited your response, but you were so immersed in the screen in front of you that you hadn’t heard a single thing they had said. ‘What the fuck are these prices?’ you thought, biting the inside of your cheek in determination to find the best tickets.

“Y/n! Are you still there?!” Chris shouted into the phone, the sound blaring loudly through your speaker. The sudden noise caught you off guard and caused you to jump in surprise, breaking you from your concentration. “What the hell are y’all blabbering about?!” You shouted back into the phone attempting to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Ever since you all were little, your brothers would always jump at the opportunity to tease and bully you. Sometimes it was funny, other times it was just annoying. Right now it was annoying.

“Y/n would be the type to say y’all,” Chris laughed, ignoring your question completely, opting to bully you instead. Even though they couldn’t see you, you rolled your eyes at his comment, preparing yourself for the onslaught of bullying that you were about to receive. Before you could even think of a snarky remark Matt joined in on the bullying as well.

“My name is y/n and I live in Texas y’all,” he put on a goofy country accent as he said this causing both Chris and Nick to fall into another fit of laughter. You could only imagine what stupid facial expression he was pulling on the other side of the phone.

“Shut up you fucking doofus,” you grumbled, only half mad because you were happy you finally found tickets at a reasonable price. Without a second thought you purchased the tickets, doing a quick victory dance. “Shut up you fucking doofus,” Matt mimicked you, still imitating his corny version of a country accent. If you were being honest, he was pretty good at it, but you’d never admit that.

“Yeah, shut your damn trap before I send you out to the barn, you fucking billy goat” Chris joined in, throwing in random phrases into his sentences as he attempted his own version of a country accent. The three of them were laughing so hard that they had to lean on each other for support as to not fall backwards.

Considering you’d already purchased the tickets, your work here was technically done and you could easily hang the phone up, leaving your goofy brothers to their stupid jokes. If you weren’t so excited, you probably would have done that and texted them the information later, but you decided to forgive their antics just to share the news, “Y’all, I bought the tickets!”

You didn’t catch yourself say it, but your brothers sure did, completely ignoring the exciting news you’d just shared. “Again with the ‘y’all!’ We get it! You live in Texas!” Matt groaned, earning yet another round of laughter from Nick and Chris.

“Oh my God, I actually can’t stand you guys right now,” you rubbed at your temples, wondering if you should just refund the tickets. How were you going to survive two entire weeks of this?

“At least you didn’t say y’all that time,” Nick said. You sighed and hung up.

—

For the next couple of weeks you and your husband, Jack, worked together to prepare your home for visitors. You made sure you had everything you needed in order to be considered a good host. Finally, summer rolled around and you and your husband were on your way to pick your brothers up from the airport. “Stop changing the station, I like that song!” You swatted his hand away from the radio, causing him to chuckle in response. Before he could retaliate, your phone rang.

Quickly you grabbed your purse and dug in it until you found your phone. Nick was calling probably to let you know they had landed safely so you answered it, “Hello?” There was a pause on the other side, but you could hear Chris and Matt faintly bickering in the background. “Shut up, Chris. Just grab our bags so we can go find y/n,” Nick said, sounding far away. He was too busy trying to reel the other two in while grabbing his carryon to hold the phone to his face.

“Hello?!” You repeated louder in hopes that he’d hear you this time. Finally he placed the phone to his ear, using his shoulder to hold it in place as he grabbed his belongings in both hands. Although the flight was only 3 hours long, he still packed an unnecessary amount of things including a blanket and a pillow. “Hi, sorry. Chris and Matt are being stupid,” he finally responded as he slung his carryon over his shoulder and stuffed his pillow under the arm that wasn’t propping his phone against his ear.

“Did y’all land?” You asked while looking over at your husband as he struggled to find where to go, becoming lost in the maze that was the airport. He was going towards the East exit, but from your countless trips back and forth from California to Texas you knew he was meant to be going towards the South exit. Quickly you snapped your fingers in Jack’s face to grab his attention before pointing in the direction he was meant to be driving. Without a hitch, he shifted the steering wheel and went in the direction you were pointing.

“I wouldn’t be calling you if we hadn’t,” Nicks voice was laced with sarcasm as he scurried behind his brothers to make his way out of the packed airplane. You hummed in response, mostly just relieved that they had landed safely, “well I’m asking cause we’re here already.” There was a lot of background noise coming through your phone speaker, mostly the voices of people you couldn’t identify. “Tell her we’re grabbing our bags,” you heard Matt say faintly in the background, probably wanting to cut your conversation with Nick short so that Nick could pay attention to where he was walking and what he was doing.

“Y/n, Matt says to tell you we’re getting our-” Nick begins to say, but is quickly cut off by Chris shouting through the speaker, “WE’RE GETTING OUR BAGS Y/N!” You grimaced and held the phone away from your ear to avoid busting your eardrums. Jack chuckles at this, putting the car in park outside the South exit before chiming in on the conversation, “we’re waiting for you guys outside the South Gate.”

“Was that Jack?” Nick asks as he, Chris and Matt watch the conveyor belt of luggages intently in order to spot theirs. You put the phone on speaker and place it on the middle console of the car, wanting to allow your husband to join in on the conversation, “Yeah buddy it’s me.” Jack had always been like an older brother to the triplets even before you two started dating, especially because he was such good friends with Justin.

Finally the boys find their luggages, working as a team to grab them all before they wiz away. “Cool! I thought y/n was gonna come alone and we’d meet you back at your house,” Nick sounded slightly out of breath as he said this because he was trying to juggle the phone, his pillow, his carryon and now his luggage. “Why would I do that when I can quite literally be a passenger princess,” you shot your husband a knowing look which received an eye roll and a dramatic scoff in return.

“Can you believe this girl, Nick? She forces me to drive her everywhere,” Jack decided to play around with the joke, wanting to embarrass you slightly. It was true though, you were always asking him to accompany you places just so you’d have an excuse to sit in the passenger seat. “As much as I’m loving this conversation, I’m gonna hang up now,” Nick replied, the multitude of items in his hands becoming too much to carry as the three of them made their way towards the South exit.

“What? No! Nick don’t hang up, what if we can’t find you guys!” You grabbed ahold of the phone again, taking it off speaker and placing it on your ear. You shifted your body to face towards the window, peering outside to try and getting a better look inside the airport. Your brothers weren’t too far away, already having made their way outside, but they hadn’t spotted your car yet. Slowly, they came into view and you watched as they trudged in the opposite direction of your vehicle.

“Oh never mind, I see you guys,” a laugh escaped your lips as you said this. Hurriedly, you undid your seatbelt and unlocked your door before hopping out of the car. “What? Where? I don’t see your car,” Nick was now looking left to right, his eyes scanning his surroundings for you and your car. At the mention of this, Chris and Matt did the same thing. “The other way, dumbass,” you replied, hanging up the phone and shoving it in your back pocket so you could wave your hands in the air.

Jack was standing next to you at this point, also waving his hands in the air in an attempt to grab your brothers’ attention. “GUYS!” You shouted, watching as they looked around in confusion still unable to spot you. Mentally you face palmed at their stupidity before shouting their names. This is what finally caught their attention, pulling their gaze in your direction. A smile grew on your face as excitement bubbled up inside you.

Their pace quickened as they tried to get to you faster without dropping any of their things. “I’m so excited!!” You whisper shouted, doing a small dance before beginning to walk towards your brothers. They were holding a lot of things and it looked like they could use some help. Your husband followed suit behind you, making sure to lock the car. He was equally as excited as you, probably even more excited because he hadn’t seen the triplets in so long.

When you finally reached them, you immediately pulled Nick in for a hug. Chris and Matt, on the other hand, went in to dab Jack up. “It’s so hot, I’m sweating already,” Nick chuckled, pulling you into him. “It’s warm,” you agreed, pulling away slightly to get a good look at his face. He looked so much older from the last time you’d seen him, his face adorned with stubble. You also noted that he had dyed his hair, his blonde locks contrasting Chris and Matt’s black hair.

You pulled away from Nick so he could greet Jack and made your way over to Chris and Matt. Nick and Jack shared a side hug, Nick making the same comment about the weather. Before you could say or do anything, Chris was pulling you in for a hug. He held you tightly, rocking you two back and forth before letting go so you could hug Matt. Matt engulfed you in his arms just as quickly as Chris had, rubbing your back before saying, “where’s your car?”

You ignored his question, wanting to get a good look at the three of them before walking over to your car, “Let me get a good look at you guys first.” They were slightly confused at the sentiment, not understanding that they looked older and older every time you saw them. As an older sister, it was your responsibility to absorb these moments like they’d never happen again. Although they were confused, they huddled together and allowed you to examine their appearance.

Your heart swelled as you took a look at them, they looked so grown up. Each of them had stubble, Matt’s being more outgrown than Chris and Nick’s. You also noticed Nick and Matt’s arms were littered with more tattoos than last time. “You guys look so grown up right now,” you commented, a small smile growing on your face. They rolled their eyes at this, you were always so dramatic and sentimental. “What! Let me love you guys!” You exclaimed when you caught sight of their eye rolls.

“Love me by carrying my bag, kid,” Chris said, shoving the backpack he’d used as a carryon in your direction. Now it was your turn to roll your eyes as you snatched his bag and allowed Matt and Nick to hand you something of theirs too. Jack laughed at this, offering to help carry some of their things too.

“Aaaand now I hate you guys again,” you said jokingly, turning in the direction of your car and walking away. They laughed, shaking their heads and following behind you.

—

The ride from the airport back to your house wasn’t too long, but it seemed like forever for the triplets seeing as they had just gotten off a 3 hour flight. In retrospect, 3 hours isn’t long either, but when you paired it with the two hour time difference from L.A to Texas, the time it took them to get to the airport, and the long wait for their flight you realized that they must be tired of sitting around. “You guys hungry?” You asked, shifting to face them in the backseat.

It was 2 in the afternoon now, but because of the time difference, it was 12 in the afternoon in L.A so you figured they’d be hungry. They were all bunched up in the back seat, pillows and blankets squeezed between them. Nick’s head rested against the window, his eyes scanning the unfamiliar buildings that passed by. Matt’s head was down and his eyes were shut, chin resting against his chest with his arms crossed. He must’ve fallen asleep as soon as he got in the car, allowing himself to relax once in the presence of familiar people. Chris, who sat in the middle seat with a pillow on his lap replied, “I could eat.”

You hummed in response, waiting for Nick to reply. “Yeah, I’m getting pretty hungry,” he said, still looking outside. He noticed that the traffic here was nowhere near as bad as it was in L.A, you guys were flying down the highway and if he stared at one building too long it would become a blur. “You think Matt’s hungry?” You asked, not wanting to wake him up.

“Mmm probably, he was to nervous to eat this morning,” Chris replies, leaning forward in his seat so he can get a good look at Matt’s face. Chris grabbed one of the many blankets that were in the backseat, pulling it over Matt and tucking it snuggly against him. “Yeah, he couldn’t sleep last night either,” Nick says, finally averting his gaze from the window to look at Matt. You also look over at Matt, feeling a bit sad that he allowed his nerves to get the best of him.

“Awe, my poor little brother,” you whispered in sincerity. “Poor dude’s slumped,” Jack says, looking back at Matt quickly before looking back at the road. Matt’s eyes shot open, somehow sensing that all eyes were on him. “Oop!” You exclaimed, quickly facing forward again. All of you, with the exception of Matt, were laughing now. “What’s so funny?” His voice was groggy, a small yawn following his question.

“Nothing Matty, go back to sleep,” Chris replied, throwing a corny nickname in the mix for good measure as he readjusted the blanket. You all were still laughing, leaving Matt confused, but he decided not to question any further and shut his eyes again.

“Y’all want Whataburger?” Jack asks, he doesn’t wait for their answer as he rounds a corner and enters the parking lot of said restaurant. “Do we have a choice?” Nick asks, not knowing much about the restaurant.

“You do not,” you stated, knowing that this had become your husbands favorite restaurant since moving to Texas. “It was a rhetorical question,” Jack says, putting the car in park and smiling at Nick through the rear view mirror. “This place looks like it just got sentenced to 40 years in prison,” Nick comments, referring to the orange and white stripes on the roof of the building that resembled a prison jumpsuit.

“Team orange, for real,” Chris jokes, earning a laugh from the rest of you.

—

It’s 4 in the afternoon when you all finally arrive to your house, lugging all the bags inside and leaving some of them in the living room to be dealt with tomorrow. The triplets had never been to your house before so when they walked in they looked around, taking in all the little details. “Welcome to our humble abode,” you said in a dramatic English accent before beginning a house tour. It was typical for you all to put on funny accents to exaggerate the importance of a situation or to make the others laugh. They laugh at this, following behind you as you walk them through your house still speaking in your English accent. Your house wasn’t too big considering the only people who lived in it were you and Jack, so the house tour was over quickly.

“Follow me this way gentleman, let me show you where you’ll be staying,” Jack said doing the same accent you had been doing, motioning for your brothers to follow him. You laughed at this gesture, loving the fact that he played along. “Thank you kind sir,” Matt replied attempting to do the same accent, but accidentally doing his infamous country accent instead. “Well I’ll be damned, this Texas heat is getting to me,” he continued, still putting on the country accent as he played into his failed attempt at doing an English accent.

You all laugh at this, the boys following Jack to the room you’d prepared for them. In it was a queen sized bed, a blow up mattress, a television, and a closet big enough for all of them to put their things away. There was also a restroom attached to it, stocked entirely with clean towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, and any thing else they might need during their stay. The large window in the room brings in a good amount of natural light, a perfect view of the house’s backyard visible.

The triplets walk inside, throwing some of their things on the bed. Chris jumps onto the bed, sprawling his limbs out so he looks like a star. “We’ll let you guys get situated. We’ll be in the living room, okay?�� you say with a chuckle, ushering Jack out of the room. “Okay, yeah. We’ll be done in a bit,” Chris replies, rolling over onto his stomach so he can look out the window into the backyard.

“Yeah, I just have to shower and I’ll be down,” Nick agrees, placing his suitcase on the floor and opening it so he can dig through his clothes for the perfect outfit. Matt agrees as well, joining Chris on the bed so he can gauge whether he wants to sleep there or on the inflatable. “Alright, I stocked the restroom with everything you guys might need. Use it all,” you assured, ready to close the door and to join your husband in the living room.

“Oooh I’m gonna make potions!” Chris says giddily as he rubs his hands together maliciously, causing you to roll your eyes and shut the door.

—

The next couple of days were completely adventure filled as you and Jack took your brothers to as many places you could think of. The five of you had also put together a list of locations you wanted to visit and so far you’d checked off quite a few. Considering you lived in a small town between many big cities, it was easy to compile a list of ideas. For example, on the first day you guys had gone to Six Flags, the Alamo, and had taken a river boat ride in San Antonio. The five of you must’ve gone on every ride at Six Flags at least twice.

On the second day, you visited The Galleria Mall and Color Factory in Houston, even taking a quick trip to Chinatown before heading back home. You guys took so many pictures on this day, making sure to pose as many times as possible in every room inside the Color Factory.

On the third and fourth day you guys decided to stay home, watching movies and getting takeout. You guys watched scary movies and took turns taking jabs at the characters on the screen, commenting on their poor decision making skills and how you’d easily survive every situation presented on screen. You and Nick had even baked cookies that day, not allowing Chris, Matt or Jack to help because they were sure to mess up the recipe.

Since they were only going to be here for a couple more days you wanted to make the most of it. So on the fifth day you guys were ready for yet another adventure. This time, you guys were heading back into San Antonio to go to the rodeo, an experience that your brothers had never had before. Jack unfortunately couldn’t join you guys today because he couldn’t get the day off which bummed you slightly, but you knew you’d have a good day regardless.

“Make sure you pack the water bottles,” you shouted towards your brothers, watching as they packed the trunk of your car with all the things you could possibly need today. “Oh! And the sunscreen, it’s going to get hot!” You called again, going through your mental checklist so you wouldn’t forget anything important. “It’s already hot!” Nick calls back in a sing-song tone as he shuts the trunk of your car.

All three of your brothers were super excited to go to the rodeo, but they were not excited for the blistering heat. You guys learned your lesson on the first day when you guys had gone to Six Flags and came back home extremely red and sunburnt. You locked your front door, your brothers piling into the car. Chris sat in the passenger seat with Matt in the seat behind him and Nick in the seat behind the drivers seat.

You ran over to the drivers side, opening the car door and jumping into the seat. Chris had already taken the aux cord, connecting it to his phone before scrolling through his endless playlist for the perfect song. “You guys ready?” You asked, adjusting your seat and fixing your mirrors before buckling yourself. A string of agreements came from your brothers, so you put the car in reverse and began your journey.

The drive into San Antonio wasn’t long, but for whatever reason Chris decided his current soda wasn’t up to his liking so he demanded you stopped at a gas station so he could pick something new. As annoying as it was, you agreed because Nick and Matt also wanted to stop and get something. “Fine, find something on Google Maps,” you said, not looking away from the road.

Chris grabbed his phone from the center console, where he had placed it so he could skip and search for songs as he pleased, before opening Google Maps and searching for the nearest gas station. “It says the nearest one is called busseys? I don’t know, I can’t fucking read that shit,” he said, clicking on it and allowing the phone to guide you towards the location. You listened intently for the directions, wanting to know what exit you’d have to take to get here. Nick grabbed ahold of Chris’s phone and read the name of the gas station, “Buc-ee’s?! You fucking dumbass?!”

Matt laughed at this, scooting forward in his seat to look over at the phone. He read the name, laughing at how Chris had completely butchered the pronunciation of the name. “Kid really said busseys,” Matt laughed again, sitting back in his seat. The three of them were laughing, you were giggling too but you were mostly trying to listen to the directions. “Chris! What exit is it?!” You used your right hand to try and grab the phone, but Nick was still holding it.

“Nick has the phone, how am I supposed to know!” He exclaimed, pointing at Nick like he was the culprit of a terrible crime. “Calm down, it’s the one after this one,” Nick replied as he dramatically placed the phone back on the center console. “Thank you,” you said sarcastically, shooting Nick a playful glance through the rear view to which he rolled his eyes.

When you finally pulled into the parking lot, Chris jumped up dramatically at the sight of the building. He inched closer to the dashboard to get a better look. It was the biggest gas station he had ever seen, complete with a mascot and everything! As he examined the building closer, he caught sight of a statue in the front of entrance. He squinted his eyes, trying to decipher what the statue was. When he finally realized what it was, his eyes opened in shock, “IS THAT A FUCKING BEAVER?!?”

“WHAT?! WHERE?!?” Nick shouted, moving closer to Matt for protection because he thought there was an actual beaver outside. Matt stretched his neck, trying to see over Chris’s seat to see what he was looking at. His eyes grew wide too, seeing the giant statue in front of the building. “Holy fuck that thing is huge!” He exclaimed, pushing himself up from his seat to get a better view. When he said this, Nick only became more flustered, “WHERE IS IT?!? DON’T SAY THAT!” He shouted again, causing you all to laugh.

“Nick it’s just a statue,” you said through laughter, attempting to reassure him. “Oh,” he relaxed immediately when you said this, finally looking over Chris’s seat and seeing the giant beaver statue. “He’s kinda cute,” Nick admitted, feeling silly for reacting so dramatically.

“Wait…” Chris said as he looked around suspiciously as if he was about to reveal something no one was supposed to know, “is that beaver… Bussey?” His voice came out in a whisper almost like he had just discovered a conspiracy. You erupted in a fit of laughter again, getting out of the car to make your way inside.

“Ha. Bussey,” Matt laughed to himself, unbuckling his seat and getting out of the car to walk into the gas station.

—

The stop at Buc-ee’s had completely sidetracked you guys and you all almost forgot about the rodeo entirely. It took you guys an abnormally long time to look through everything the store had to offer. There were food items you’d never seen before, a mini restaurant, a bakery, a section with house supplies, and even a gift shop filled to the brim with specialized Buc-ee’s merch. Chris was mesmerized by the drink station, wanting to try every single flavor. He had successfully talked you all into each getting a different flavor so he could try as many as possible.

When you finally checked out, you were each walking out with a bag or two of merch and snacks. There was so much to choose from including mugs, keychains, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and plushies all of it resembling or including the gas station’s mascot.

“Shout out to Buc-ee, man. This soda is so good,” Chris commented once you guys were back in the car, taking a long sip from his drink. “Wait let me try,” Matt said, trading his drink with Chris so they could try each others drinks. Matt took a sip of Chris’s drink, eyes widening once the flavor settled in his mouth. The soda was actually really good. “Stop, it can’t be that good,” Nick said, rolling his eyes at Matt’s theatrics. “Try it,” Matt replied, holding the drink out for Nick to take.

Nick takes a sip, eyes also widening once he realized how good it was. You watched them intently, now you wanted to taste it to see the hype. “This tastes like the time Matt threw the fork at the old lady!” Nick exclaims, taking another sip to make sure he was getting it right. “Yes! Yes!” Chris agrees, recalling the memory fondly.

“Let y/n try it!” Matt says, pulling the drink away from Nick mid sip, causing it to dribble down his chin a little. “Woah Matt, calm down tough guy,” Chris says, watching as Nick wipes the soda from his chin, mouth still full of soda. Nick tries hard to hold in his laughter so that he doesn’t spit the drink out in your car, the three of you looking at him fully expecting there to be a mess in the backseat in mere seconds. He calms himself down, breathing in deeply before swallowing.

Once the coast is clear and he’s sure that Nick isn’t going to spit his drink out, Matt hands you the cup. You take it and immediately take a sip, having the same reaction as your brothers. “It’s good, right!” Chris says, eagerly taking the drink back and taking another sip.

“That does taste like the time Matt threw the fork at the old lady!” you exclaim in excitement causing Matt to shake his head as he reminisces on the memory.

—

Finally you guys arrive at the rodeo, making sure to go up to every booth and ride every single ride. You guys even waited in the long lines to try the crazy food items being advertised like the fried oreos and boiled peanuts. The four of you walked around the carnival portion of the rodeo for what seemed like forever before deciding to enter the area where they had all the livestock.

“It stinks in here,” you commented as you guys walked into the building where the animals were in. You plugged your nose, leading the way through the building. “Ew it does,” Nick agreed, copying your actions and plugging his nose. Chris and Matt were either unphased by the smell or they didn’t want to be rude because they didn’t say anything.

There were so many different animals so you guys walked around the building to look at them all. After a while, you and Nick had become accustomed to the smell and took your time admiring the animals. The ducks were your personal favorite, but the cows were a close second.

“Look! They have horses over there!” Matt said, this was the most excited you’d seen him since you’d arrived here. He rushed his way over to where the horses were, the rest of you following behind him. You guys pushed through the sea of people, trying to keep up with Matt. “Matt, wait up!” Chris shouted, excusing himself as he pushed past people to try and reach Matt. Before you knew it, you guys had lost sight of him and were looking around trying to spot him in the crowd.

“I think he went this way,” Nick said, leading the way in a completely different direction. You and Chris follow Nick, careful not to leave too much distance between between the three of you as to avoid getting lost. “Nick, you’re going to fast,” you mumble, trying to grab ahold of his hand but fail due to being pushed out of the way by other people trying to make their way through the crowd. You stop dead in your tracks, not wanting to bump into anyone causing Chris to bump into you.

“Sorry,” he says, moving to stand beside you. When you start walking again, you look up to see where Nick went but you can’t find him anymore either. “Great, now we lost Nick,” you groaned, facepalming while Chris tiptoed to see over the crowd. You were too short to see that high up so there was no point in trying, but Chris had spotted Nick’s blonde hair in the distance.

“He’s over there, I see him,” he says confidently, grabbing your shoulders and turning you in the direction he saw Nick. He pushes your shoulders lightly, guiding you in Nick’s general direction. When he felt like you guys were heading the right way, he let go of your shoulders and began walking next to you instead of behind you. “He might have gone this way,” he says, turning right and walking in the direction his gut was leading him.

“Which way?” You asked, looking over to where he was just standing. Another groan escaped your lips, you had just lost Chris too. For a while, you stood in place hoping that one of them would somehow find you, but after about 5 minutes you realized no one was going to find you in this large sea of people. Panic was beginning to build up inside of you, but you took a deep breath and calmed yourself down, determined to find your brothers so you guys could leave.

Your inner monologue was going crazy, thinking of all the things that could’ve happened to your brothers. For all you know, they could’ve all walked out of this building and were somewhere across the whole venue. First you passed the pigs, not finding anyone there. You asked some people if they’d seen any of your brothers, trying to describe what they looked like before realizing they were literally almost identical and that asking people wasn’t going to get you anymore.

Secondly, you passed the chickens, still coming up empty handed. By the time you had circled back to where you started, you were actually beginning to panic. You felt the tears brimming, trying to hold it in so you wouldn’t cry in front of a room full of strangers. Everything was slowly becoming too much, the animals, the people, the noise, even the smell was beginning to bother you again. Before the tears could flow, you heard Nick, “Oh thank God I found you!”

You turned in the direction you heard him, an instant wave of relief washing over your body. “Hey, you okay?” He asked softly, noticing how scared you looked. His hands were on your shoulders, grounding you. Once you saw him, you weren’t as scared, but the built up emotions from before had shaken you. You nodded your head in response, wiping a stray tear.

“Let’s go find Chris and Matt,” he suggested with a small smile. He slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him protectively. To your surprise, he was being very gentle with you. Ever since you’d shared your heartfelt story on the podcast, Nick had felt an urge to protect you like you’d always protected him, Chris and Matt.

You two did another lap around the building, making small talk along the way before deciding that Chris and Matt had probably left the building. As you two walked outside, you saw Chris and Matt walking in your direction each with a corndog in hand. They were too immersed in their own conversation to notice you and Nick.

“What the fuck?!” Nick shouted once they were in earshot, only saying it loud enough for them to hear. They perked up at this, looking in the direction of you two with confused looks on their faces. “We walked around that place like 5 fucking times looking for you idiots!” Nick exclaimed again. Matt shrugged, taking a bite from his corndog. “You’re both so annoying,” you grumbled, actually upset.

“We saw you guys, it looked like you were having a good time,” Chris commented before taking a bite of his own corndog, not catching that you were actually mad at them this time. “And we were hungry soooo… we got food,” Matt explains, offering you a bite of his food. You push his hand away in annoyance only causing him to offer Nick a bite. Nick rolled his eyes, but he took Matt up on the offer and took a bite. The corndog was good, but he was still mad.

“Let’s just go home,” you reply, feeling the exhaustion and anger ruin your mood. “Hmm yeah, it’s starting to get dark,” Chris agrees, dipping his corndog in mustard before taking yet another bite. Matt agrees with him, making a comment about how he hates driving at night. How could two people be so oblivious?

You decide to hold your tongue, instead humming and beginning to walk to your car. You’re quiet the entire ride home, not singing along to any of the songs Chris is playing and not engaging in any of the conversations surrounding you. Nick is the only who notices, both Matt and Chris still completely oblivious.

Finally, when you get home you sigh in relief and turn the car off. You unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out of the car and slamming the door in the process. “What’s her problem?” Chris asks, taken aback by how hard you slammed the door. Nick mentally facepalms, how is Chris just now noticing you were upset? “That was dramatic,” Matt chimes in, watching as you disappear into the house without waiting for them to get off the car.

“Are you guys that dumb?” Nick asks, unbuckling himself and gathering the bags that you all had accumulated throughout the day. “What? She slammed the door, not us,” Chris said, also gathering his things from the front seat. Matt was about to interject, but was swiftly interrupted by Nick, “She was looking for us inside that building!” Chris and Matt couldn’t be more confused.

“What building?!” Matt asked, raising his voice to the same level Nick had. “THE ONE WITH THE ANIMALS YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Nick responded, unafraid to get loud. “Okay? We were looking for you guys too?” Chris responds sassily, not quite ready to raise his voice yet. “She was crying, though. I think she got really scared,” Nick’s voice softened a bit, remembering the scared look on your face and the tear that rolled down your cheek.

“Oh,” the other two mumbled, finally realizing that they had kinda ditched you two in there. “Let’s just go inside,” Nick sighs, opening his door and getting out of the car before walking inside the house. Chris and Matt felt bad now, but how were they supposed to know you’d get scared? Older sisters weren’t supposed to get scared. They got off the car and joined Nick inside.

—

The next morning you woke up bright and early, still a little upset from yesterday, but not as upset as you were when you got home. Everyone was up already, you could hear noise coming from the kitchen and the triplets talking with your husband. You got ready for the day before heading downstairs, ready to greet your family in the kitchen. As you neared the final step, you stopped because you wanted to hear what the boys were talking about.

“You guys need to apologize, she was really scared,” Nick said, referring to yesterdays events. Leave it to Nick to try and make amends and keep everyone happy. You were going to walk in the kitchen, but Chris’s voice stopped you, “What if she cries again?”

“She’s going to cry, she always cries,” you hear Jack say, followed by the sound of whisking. ‘I hope he’s making pancakes,’ you thought before realizing that he had just called you a crybaby. He’s your husband and here he is agreeing with your brothers that you cry a lot. “When she comes down, I’ll apologize,” this time it was Matt who spoke, feeling a little nervous, but also sad. You two had never had a falling out before. Growing up you would only ever have big fights with Justin, sometimes having an argument or two with Nick, even a slight disagreement with Chris, but never had you been actually mad at Matt. He felt like he had failed you.

You were done waiting, you took the last step and rounded the corner. “Good morning,” you greeted, offering everyone a small smile, including your husband. You walk over to Jack only to see what he was making, but he thinks you’re going over for a kiss. He leans down, ready to plant his lips on yours, but you turn your head to the side and let it land on your cheek. He’s taken aback by this, but doesn’t say anything. You might’ve let him kiss you, but upon inspection you realized he was making eggs. ‘Gross,’ you thought, before walking over to the fridge for something to drink. You liked eggs, but you were hoping for pancakes.

“Morning,” Chris says awkwardly, coughing right afterwards to try and sound casual. “Morning,” Matt greets, sounding extremely nervous as he watches your every move. “How’d you sleep?” Nick asks, pouring cereal into a bowl. “Mmm pretty good for the most part,” you reply, grabbing the orange juice from inside the fridge before closing it. Nick hums in response, grabbing his bowl of cereal and walking over to the kitchen table.

“How did you guys sleep?” You ask, look between your three brothers. Nick knows you’re really only asking Chris and Matt so he stays quiet, silently eating his cereal as he prepares for the events to unfold. “Um, pretty good?” Chris’s answer is unsure, he’s scared to say the wrong thing. Was he supposed to say he had the worst sleep of his life? Cause if he was it would be a lie. He hated fighting with you, but he wasn’t the type to kiss ass just to earn forgiveness.

You nodded your head, not saying anything before looking at Matt. Matt hates this, he quickly realized you were probably going to scold them after this. “Same, I slept- um- I slept good,” he’s stuttering through his words, so nervous that he could probably shit himself. Nick is still munching away, watching you all intently. Jack, on the other hand, was too busy stirring his eggs to care about a sibling quarrel.

“Hmm, okay,” you respond, slowly nodding your head. “I’m sorry?” Chris finally says, wondering if that’s what you wanted to hear. You smirk a little, looking over expectantly at Matt this time. He realizes what this is and goes from nervous to annoyed. You weren’t even mad anymore, you were just trying to get them to apologize to embarrass them. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, avoiding your gaze in fear that he’ll go completely red.

“What was that? Sorry I couldn’t hear you,” you pushed, cupping a hand to your ear. “I’m sorry,” he replied again slightly louder than before. “I’m sorry, Nick could you hear him?” You look back at Nick who quickly shakes his head no, chuckling at the entire situation. “Go ahead Matt, we couldn’t hear you,” you had let go of Chris at this point to to get a better look at Matt.

“I’m sorry!” He’s almost shouting at this point, beyond annoyed with you. “Why didn’t you just say that the first time!” You ask innocently, hugging him dramatically. Matt attempts to wiggle out of your grasp making Chris, Nick and Jack laugh as they watch you two struggle like children.

“The eggs are ready!” Jack announces, turning the stove off and picking the pan up in order to serve everyone. “I wish they were pancakes,” you grumble, letting go of Matt to take a better look at the eggs. Matt sighs in relief, hating everything about the previous interaction.

“Yes, chef!” Jack salutes you like a soldier, turning the stove back on immediately. You laugh, finally giving him the kiss he didn’t get earlier.

—

The last week flies by quickly and before you know it you’re back at the airport dropping your brothers off with more things than they arrived with. “I’m going to miss y’all,” you whisper into the group hug, not wanting to let go. The last two weeks had been so fun and now you probably won’t be together again until Thanksgiving or Christmas.

“We can always come back to visit,” Nick suggests, not wanting you to cry. There was always an opportunity to visit, especially on the weeks when their schedules were flexible. “Yeah, don’t be sad. Plus we call all the time,” Chris chimes in, the four of you breaking from your hug. You nod at this comment, knowing it was only half true. The times you were able to call them were slim, the time difference playing a sight role in your ability to coordinate a good time to talk.

“Plus there’s still Christmas,” Matt says, becoming sad at how far away it seems. “Yeah, you guys are right,” you admit. This wasn’t the end of the world, you’d see them again soon. You were mostly sad that you were going to be alone at home now when your husband was at work. Plus, in a month you’d be returning to work. You groaned internally at the thought of returning to work.

“Good afternoon passengers. This is a pre-boarding announcement for flight 76A to Los Angeles, California. All those boarding this flight please make your way towards the gate 3 immediately.” You hear over the intercom. Suddenly it feels more real, they were really leaving.

“That’s us,” Chris says, looking in the direction of the gate before grabbing ahold of his carryon and slinging it over his shoulder. You smile weakly at them, nodding your head. Of course you know they have to leave, you understand that they have a life of their own. “Alright, I guess we gotta go,” Nick says, offering you one last hug goodbye. “I love you guys, be safe. Call me when you get home,” you say as you hug him.

“So bossy,” Matt chuckles, offering you a hug of his own. You laugh a little as you hug him, too sad to argue with him over this comment. “This is the final boarding call for passengers on flight 76A to Los Angeles, California. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately.” The boys grab their things in a rush when they hear this.

“Okay guys, we gotta to go,” Chris says, ushering his brothers towards gate 3 as quickly as possible. Chris hated goodbyes, he didn’t see the point in all the sappy hugs and kisses. It’s not like you were never going to see each other again. You know this, so you don’t press him for a hug. “Yes! Go!” You agree, waving them in the direction of their boarding gate. They hurriedly walk away with all their things in their hands, looking back at you and waving. You were a little sad you didn’t get to hug Chris goodbye, but you’d survive. You watch as they rush to make it to their gate on time.

Just as you’re about turn to leave you see Chris stop and you swear you hear him groan. He drops his things and turns back to you. Before you know it he’s running back to you and engulfing you in a hug. The guilt was eating at him the closer he got to the gate, how was he going to leave without hugging his only sister goodbye? “I should’ve just hugged you the first time,” he says, resting his chin on the top of your head. You smile, wrapping your arms around your brother and rubbing his back. Who knew Chris could be such a sap?

“CHRIS!” Nick yells from the gate as he tries to tell the flight attendant to wait for him. “Okay, I gotta go now,” he lets go of you and runs towards where Nick is, grabbing his things in the process. “I’m going!” He yells, almost tripping from how quickly he’s running. They disappear into the gate, the doors closing behind them.

You were going to miss them, but you were so glad you had the chance to spend time with them.

PT.3

—

A/n: you ask and you shall receive! I wrote a long story for you because I don’t really know if I want to turn this into a series, but I do want to provide you with enough content to hold you over haha. Hope you enjoy!!!! Also, for those just reading this story for the first time, go read part one for a better understanding of the little details.

- L.A.M.B 👼🏻💗

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo x y/n #Christopher sturniolo x y/n #Nicolas sturniolo x y/n #Matthew sturniolo #teapartyanonreqs✨💗

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cosmonadarovicarts · 2 months

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Theory: Carmilla would be Eve?

Among so many crazy theories (and I love it!) after this season, I'm going to bring my (crazy) theory. As the title already reveals, what if Carmilla Carmine was our missing Eve? Before you throw hate, here are some points:

-In some versions of the myth of the creation of Adam and Eve, Eve was condemned to hell (while Adam went to heaven). If the series goes down this path, the character wouldn't be in heaven;

-Carmilla's name: Originated from Hebrew culture. Carmila/Carmela/Carmilla/Carmile means garden, orchard. Well... I don't think it would be too much of a coincidence for the name to mean that (garden... Garden of Eden...).

-Eve was created from Adam's rib. Here I come up with the theory that the exorcist angels guided by Adam (including Vaggie) were created from his ribs (like Eve). This would explain the similarity in appearance of Vaggie, Lute and Carmilla.

--Carmilla's personality: she is super protective! The super mom of the series (so far). It is to be expected that Adam's second wife, mother of humanity, would be maternal./ "but she was presented as the mother of only two characters" man, she still seemed super worried about the day of extermination (she called a meeting with the Overlords precisely to think of ways to stop this), after all, the sinners were their descendants! (I'm not going to talk here about Adam's relationship with sinners, that would be worth another post) And, the same time, the exorcists would be like her sisters who she was reluctant to kill. I would also like to add here, I think Zestial could be Cain (one of his main sons and, precisely, the first sinner, as he killed his other brother Abel), this would explain the affection that Carmilla has for Zestial and for them both being the oldest Overlords! (Cain died before Eve in many versions of the myth) /Sure, they might just be good friends, but to me it made a lot of sense, my bad

-Her appearance: I've already commented on her resemblance to Vaggie (the two even duet two songs, expressing similar feelings), but now let's compare her appearance with her hair down with Eve's silhouette in the first episode (just look at the image I posted here) , it's identical! And of course, the second wife would have to be beautiful, and Carmilla is said to be beautiful.

--"ok but it is much more likely that she was one of the exorcist angels, taking into account her appearance and knowledge, why would Eve have an appearance similar to these angels?" Precisely because they came/were born from the same place, Adam's ribs! When Eve died, her demonic form still assumed that of a beautiful woman with large hands (representing her need to be able to hold, care for and hug everyone). Maybe Adam knew or didn't know how Eve was doing, and made his female army similar to his ex-wife (For me, this part would have several possibilities, like, him purposely making the appearance of the exorcists or it would just be because they were all born from the same place)

-In the final episode, when the news reports about what happened at the Hotel, the reactions of several characters appear, and there was one (emphasis?) in Carmilla's reaction to Adam's death (I imagine that, because she was against the extermination of sinners (her descendants) while her ex-husband, who lived in heaven, led this extermination, she should not have good feelings towards him).

Final note: Even if she is not Eve, probably she was one of the exorcist angels (as many already theorize), as she knew about the angelic weapons, knew of Vaggie's identity and her appearance.

(Sorry if there are a lot of grammatical errors, English is not my native language)

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glassbirdfeather · 3 months

Text

Mohg's Brain

(This is an essay on Mohg, Lord of Blood, from hit video game Elden Ring. It just takes a bit to get there.)

There is a story often repeated in Psychology classes, Physiology classes, pop psych media like YouTube, podcasts, and garbage daytime television on channels that used to be scientifically rigorous: about a man with an incredible brain injury. For those of you who haven't heard the story or are not yet sick of hearing it, I've included it from memory below, because I have heard it just that many times.

If you've heard this story already, you can skip to the subtitle: "Can We Even Learn Anything From Gage?"

If you already know the controversies about Phineas Gage or just want to jump to the part about the video game character, you can skip to the subtitle: "Let's FINALLY talk about Video Game"

----

"The Curious Case of Phineas Gage"

Phineas Gage was a railroad worker who would help clear land with explosives. The dubious and definitely wouldn't-have-been-OSHA-approved method of laying these explosives was to chip a hole into the mountainside, place the explosives, and then tamp it down using some sort of implement like a railroad spike. What happened next was predictable and it's surprising this didn't happen much more often--when packing the explosives, they detonated in Gage's face. Specifically, this launched the spike underneath his left eye and out of the top of his head. Less predictably, Phineas stood up afterwards. When a doctor arrived, said doctor did not believe what had occurred until Gage vomited approximately a "teacupful of brain matter" onto the street.

Due to lack of effective sterilization and antibiotics at the time, poor Phineas Gage was bedridden for several months, where he continued to lose further brain matter to infection. Eventually, he did recover, although he would continue to experience migraines and seizures for the rest of his life. While he lost his job for the railroad service, he went on to work in a sideshow attraction, carrying around the very railroad spike that went through his head. Eventually, he got a job and worked as a taxi driver and lived for several more years before dying of a seizure.

Phineas Gage was never the same after this life-altering injury: he was belligerent, drunk, lied frequently, and lost his job for the railroad company because of his new personality. And I do say NEW personality--Phineas had become like a completely different person and was, in essence, "no longer Gage" (they love quoting that). The damage to regions of the prefrontal cortex made him unable to make moral judgements, and impaired his impulse control.

OR MAYBE THAT LAST PART ISN'T TRUE.

Phineas Gage was NOT much changed by this life-altering injury. Though he lost his job at the railway company, the cause of this job loss is unknown. He MAY have had severe alterations to his personality due to this injury, but whether these changes were due to physical damage or emotional trauma--or whether personality changes ACTUALLY occurred at all--are disputed.

----

Can We Even Learn Anything From Gage?

Though I am uncertain if we have exact data on which parts of his brain he was left with when accounting for what was later lost to infection, the trajectory and angle of the injury suggests he initially lost much of his prefrontal cortex. Which of the previous versions of the story are told or over/under-emphasized is dependent on the point the teller is trying to make in the age-old debate of nature vs. nurture.

Some psychologists argue that Gage's personality change demonstrates the Global Workspace Model, where different parts of the brain are responsible for different parts of consciousness, and that by changing or removing parts of the brain, you change consciousness.

Other psychologists will argue that the LACK of change is evidence of the brain's incredible plasticity--its ability to adapt and compensate for missing parts by shifting the functions of those parts to be performed by different regions.

Most reasonably, he probably experienced some cognitive differences while still being effectively the same person and is an example of both points of view. But we don't have concrete enough evidence to say.

Any class in which a teacher or textbook needs evidence to support whatever point they're trying to make about how changes to the brain affects personality, addiction, emotional regulation, decision making, etc., they'll use Gage to make that point, no matter what stance they take. So really, Gage isn't a useful case study beyond what we could actually observe: he lost some of his brain and lived, while also experiencing migraines and seizures for the rest of his life.

With all of that said, if we assume that Gage experienced no changes to cognitive function or personality, I just typed out a story I am very sick of hearing for no reason. So let's assume that at least some of those observations were true.

----

Let's FINALLY Talk About Video Game

Her are some potentially useful images to reference if you want. Left: general brain regions and their functions. Right: paranasal sinus cavities.

Unlike a nice, straight tamping iron, Mohg's horns curl in unpredictable directions. Some assumptions must be made about length, depth, and diameter to determine what region and volume of his skull is occupied by his horn. The minimum I expect is that the horn occupies the region of his frontal lobe in any scenario. Let's also set a maximum limit: I believe it is reasonable to assume it has not reached the primary motor cortex, where it would disrupt body control and physical movement... unless one wants to suggest he is puppetting himself in his boss fight like a bloodbender. Which, let's be real, IS a really badass concept, someone should write that fanfiction.

Though I argue that Gage is a bad example to use given our lack of reliable data on his personality and lived experiences, we DO know that disrupting the function of the prefrontal cortex can affect judgment, planning, concentration, and any type of higher processing you might call a uniquely 'human' mental ability (I acknowledge the mental abilities of birds and primates but they are beyond the scope of this essay). It may be safe to assume that, in Mohg's case, these mental processes are harmed regardless of any further extrapolation I make. One other brain region of note is the motor speech (Broca) area, located on the left side directly behind the prefrontal cortex and controls muscle movements for speech.

On the topic of pain, migraines, and seizures: He has a horn in his head, it probably hurts. Obstructions (like cysts) can cause buildup of cerebrospinal fluid, which can cause pain and is a common cause of seizures. It is difficult to say how many people have benign brain tumors, but there is speculation that benign tumors in the brain are unexpectedly common. People only typically get brain scans when they've already noticed a problem, but there have been cases of perfectly healthy people having (non-cancerous) brain tumors, so a mass being present in the brain does NOT guarantee seizures will occur. This being said, that horn is significantly larger than a typical benign brain tumor. Migraines and seizures are very reasonable to assume.

I don't know what to say about illness and disease. In theory, if the horn grew at any point after birth, I would say he should have died from any pathogens that were introduced during its corkscrewing into his skull. Phineas Gage was bedridden for months due to infection, was under the care of a doctor, and he wasn't living in a sewer. Do the Lands Between understand the germ theory of disease? It may at least know that poop in the brain is bad, but I listen to Sawbones, so I know that isn't something we can just assume. It's possible he's lost some impossible-to-estimate amount of brain matter to infection. Feel free to speculate about Omen resistance to pathogens, but I don't feel that is the point of this essay. I'll say it's safe to assume his body has healed closed around it, but anything else I won't try to extrapolate.

----

Specificity from Horn Trajectory

Possibility 1:

If we estimate the continued trajectory from the visible part of the horn, it actually continues medially, towards the center of the body, and curls downward. This might even miss most of the brain and instead disrupt the frontal, ethmoidal, and maxillary sinus cavities of the skull.

It may possibly even pierce the roof of the mouth, if we roughly estimate the rate at which the horn tapers and where it likely ends. I argue that this is the most optimistic scenario in terms of his health, because although the horn almost certainly penetrates the prefrontal cortex, it may not be as deep as other possibilities.

In this horn trajectory case, he probably experiences constant sinus pressure similar to a permanent head cold, obstruction to his sense of smell, and by extension his sense of taste. Even if the horn does not completely block his nasal cavity, it may have damaged his olfactory nerve and thus disabled his sense of smell anyway. Should the horn obstruct his mouth he may experience physical difficulties eating and speaking.

Possibility 2:

A worse scenario may be to assume this horn instead extends directly backwards. This would likely pass through the motor speech area, and may have caused him to lose the ability to talk, forcing him to relearn how to speak by having another part of the brain learn to do this function (similar to how anyone learns a second language after very early childhood). It may also reach the LEFT temporal lobe, which processes hearing and smell for the RIGHT side of the body, and therefore he could be deaf in his right ear. Again, the olfactory nerve is potentially in the path of the horn, and loss of sense of smell is frequently considered a symptom of brain damage, so regardless of the angle of the horn this is a high possibility.

----

What Time of Horn Growth Could Tell Us

Children are more likely to recover well from brain damage. The older he was when the horn entered his brain, the more likely he would be to experience cognitive impairment.

Should Mohg's horn have developed that way before birth, his brain may have formed around it without issue, or obstructed regions may have simply remained underdeveloped. His skull would also have developed to more 'comfortably' accommodate this horn, rather than having to break and re-heal around a later intrusion. If the horn is shallow enough and its growth occurred during fetal development or very early childhood before the fusing of the bones in the skull, it is possible that left eye blindness and mild discomfort are the only effects. The timing of the horn's growth being before birth or in early infancy is supported by the Regal Omen Bairn, which shows Morgott with seemingly all of his horns, suggesting that omens horns are largely present upon birth and that those horns grow in proportion with them.

However, given the themes associated with the Formless Mother, here is another--vastly more speculative--hypothesis: Mohg's horn was grown deliberately into his skull by the influence of the Formless Mother, perhaps with or without his consent. I find it hard to believe that a force claimed to be the "mother of truth" which "desires a wound" would be unaware of the possible effects of this type of wound.

I posit that the Formless Mother intended to compromise Mohg's consciousness and sense of reason to make him easier to manipulate. If we assume that they were not working together (debatable), the abduction of Miquella and potential interruption and sabotage of his ascension puts an empyrean under the Formless Mother's control, and works counter to the dynasty Mohg desires. Damage to his ability to plan, make rational decisions, and his sense of morality could explain how Mohg seems to want a place for outcast and hated people, likely seeing a kinship with Miquella, but has created something that is the antithesis to the Haligtree.

Furthermore, should we assume that Mohg and Miquella met previously and Miquella had the opportunity to do so, the power Miquella purportedly has to compel adoration in others may have interacted poorly with Mohg's potentially impaired emotional processing, and could have caused an obsessive outcome that the Formless Mother did not predict.

Of course, I don't believe every awful and cruel decision someone makes is the result of brain damage, but this may explain the incongruity between what Mohg seems to want and what he has made. Whether Mohg is "the reigning lord and hierarch of the coming dynasty of Mohgwyn" or "a raving lunatic" may not be an incompatible dichotomy. It may be sequential.

----

Glassbirdfeather you're so wrong, why did you say ___?

I am not a doctor. I am a chemistry student with a biology lean (clinical laboratory science) and am drawing my conclusions from what I've learned in Anatomy, Physiology, and Psychology classes at an introductory level, and I glanced back at my anatomy and psychology textbooks as my sole academic sources. Please don't take this as a well-researched essay, none of the claims I make about mental or physical health are properly cited. This is just fandom theorizing; it's as academically rigorous as fanfiction. Any doctor/member of the medical profession who would like to correct me is invited to do so, I would love to hear more accurate and informed observations.

----

Bibliography

(literally just 2 references, man)

Grison, Sarah and Michael S. Gazzaniga. Psychology in Your Life. Third Edition, W. W. Norton & Company, 2019.

McKinley, Michael P. and Valerie Dean O'Loughlin. Human Anatomy. Fifth Edition, McGraw-Hill, 2017.

#mohg #elden ring #dont @ me about typos istg i spent so long on this

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m4tthewmurd0ck · 4 months

Text

THE MORNING SKY

— (Young) Coriolanus Snow x Fem!Reader

CHAPTER ── 1 [ THE REAPING / THE SPARK ]

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | TABLE OF CONTENTS

a/n: first chapter is finally here! i don’t use y/n and try my best to avoid descriptors, but i do use she/her. also reader had a twin brother who passed away.

ALSO just a quick thing about those asking to be tagged but i can’t tag you. so far everyone that i can’t tag is either a blank blog with no profile pic, or even if they have a profile pic there are either 0 things on your page or there are only reblogs. if any of those apply to you, tumblr views you as a bot and your account isn’t visible. i can’t even search your user and you pop up, i have to press “go to @ user”. okay first chapter below the cut!

WHAT IS A SOULMATE? The answer to that question depended on 2 things: who you asked, and how old they were. The soulmate process was complicated, and to this day there was still not a single person who fully understood how it all worked. The bond, or “the spark” as it was often called, didn’t happen until at least one half of the pair laid eyes on the other.

Before that, people simply felt no romantic interest towards anyone else. As for the spark itself, it was described as a warm happy feeling. That lasted for a few minutes, and was your bodies way of making sure you knew what was happening. Then even once the warmth went away, there was still that sense of happiness.

But back to the question. To those in the Capital, those who came from wealthy families or whose last name meant something, a soulmate was often no more than a recommendation. If it turned out their soulmate was someone who lived in a poor district or who lived in but worked for the Capital in a lowly position, it was common to sever the bond. When that happened, both halves would feel like something was missing for the rest of their lives. It was described as a sense of longing, a dull ache that all you could do was learn to live with.

Once the severing happened, those in the Capital would simply find another with a severed bond. After all, the goal was still to secure a (wealthy) future.

Because at least one person in the pair has to lay eyes on their other half, some people go nearly their whole lives before meeting their soulmate. Some of them would tell you that this was worse than meeting them early on and having the bond severed.

One of the oldest pair of soulmates in District 12 (your district) was a sweet couple in their late-80’s. Despite being up there in age, they’d been together for less than a decade. Having lived on complete opposite sides of the district, it was just a sad coincidence that they’d gone nearly their whole lives without ever being in the same place at the same time.

And for some, the opposite rings true. There was a 4-year-old boy and a 4-year-old girl who had their spark occur when they move next door to each other. For now they were the best of friends. Romantic feelings would come much, much later.

Some people get really unlucky, and go their entire lives without ever meeting their soulmate. If yours dies before you’ve met, you’d get a worse version of that aching feeling that comes if a bond is severed.

There were often discussions about what the worse situation would be. Not meeting your soulmate until you didn’t have much longer to live, meeting them and they want nothing to do with you, or not ever meeting them and they die before you. One could argue that the answer was all of the above, and that the worse case would also be if a pair were put on opposite sides of a terrible situation: someone from the Capital bonded with a tribute in the Hunger Games.

Wealthy folk liked to place bets on if each year was the year it would finally happen, and those that said this is the year were always wrong. That is, until the 11th Hunger Games.

🐍🎶🐍🎶🐍🎶🐍🎶🐍🎶🐍🎶🐍🎶

You were among the many who had yet to meet your soulmate. Though at only 18, it didn’t bother you yet. You were still eligible to be thrown into the games, and you figured you had much bigger things to worry about. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise that you’d yet to meet whoever they were. It wouldn’t be fair to them if you met and then your name was drawn, and you were killed. Though the alternative to that would be that you’d die before at least meeting. And based on stories you’ve heard from those who were put in that situation, that caused just as much (if not more) heartbreak.

“Just one more year,” you whispered to yourself. You could only hope that you at least looked braver than you felt.

It was the morning of the reaping for the 11th Hunger Games, and you were doing your best to look good. It was no secret that the Capital paid close attention to appearances, even from those not selected to compete. And it was also no secret that Mayor Lipp’s other daughter absolutely hated your guts, so you already had a sinking feeling what was going to happen. (a/n: pretend your outfit / hair is whatever you’d like!)

After a few more minutes fixing your outfit and hair in front of the mirror, you finished up just as a series of knocks could be heard at the door.

“Ready?” Archer greets you with a grim smile. When he takes a closer look at you, he raises his eyebrows. “What’s the occasion?”

Under any other circumstance, you might’ve laughed. But you both knew what the occasion was, and that he was only attempting to lighten the mood.

“Juniper Lipp, that’s the occasion.”

“Hey—”

You shook your head. “No point in trying to paint a different picture. We all know what Mayfair did. She had Mayor Lipp call out Lucy Gray for last year’s reaping, all because of Billy. She admitted as much. Now Billy, Lucy Gray, and Mayfair are gone. Juniper knows that Lucy Gray and I were friends. Add to that the fact that Juniper’s supposed boyfriend tried to kiss me, twice. After I shoved him the second time, he started going around telling people that I came on to him and that he had to tell me to back off. You and I both know what’s going to happen today.”

Deep down, Archer knew there was no point in arguing. Juniper Lipp was just as bad, if not worse than her sister was. From the moment Mayfair had it out for Lucy Gray, Juniper took an instant disliking to you. Combined with the incident with Juniper’s boyfriend, at this point no one your age would put it past her to make sure today was a repeat of last year.

After a tense moment of silence, you speak up again. “I know this is going to be the last time I—”

Archer cut you off with a quick shake of his head. “No. Don’t talk like that. You and I are gonna walk over together, and it’ll be the last reaping that we’re eligible for. That’s that. This time next year, these thoughts will be gone.”

One of the things you loved about Archer was his optimism. You’d known him practically your whole life. You met in 1st grade, and he quickly became friends with your twin brother. Then when he died, Archer stuck around. He said it was to make sure you were okay.

Anxiety began to creep in. The light at the end of the tunnel was so close, but you were almost positive you wouldn’t reach it.

“I almost made it.” You laugh, but there is no humor in your tone. “We’re finally eighteen. You said it yourself, after this we would be done. I would’ve been free. Got all the way to the end and today I’m getting picked and that’s means I’m going to d—”

“No,” Archer used your full name, so you knew he was serious. “You’re gonna shut up and listen to me for a minute. You are the strongest, bravest person I have ever met. You are a fighter. And stop looking at me like this is goodbye because even if it does happen today, I know you can win.”

“Archer—”

In lieu of a response, he shook his head again and held his arm out for you to take. “Shall we?”

Less than 10 minutes later, he gave you a hug and went to go stand with the rest of the boys.

Right on schedule, Mayor Lipp came out and gave the same boring speech about the games that he gave every year. After talking about how it was a great honor to compete, he had the audacity to say that although it was a sacrifice, it’s as ultimately a privilege to serve your district in this way. Hearing that last part, you had to use all of your mental strength to keep yourself from laughing.

What the fuck does he know about sacrifice? You thought to yourself. Looking at those around you, you guessed they were thinking the same thing. In fact, you’d bet everything you owned that Mayor Lipp’s daughter(s) names were conveniently not in that bowl of potential tributes.

“And now,” Mayor Lipp finally pulled you from your thoughts, “we’ll begin with finding out who this years female tribute will be.” He made a big show of putting his hand in the bowl and swishing around, which made you tilt your head down so you could roll your eyes. Such a dramatic gesture considering you knew he was going to say your name.

Time felt like it stopped. When you glanced up, it felt like all eyes were on you. Looks like you were right after all.

Although you wanted nothing more than to drop to the ground and cry, you forced yourself to keep your head held high as you made your way to the stage. That’s when you first heard it.

So soft, at first you thought that you might be imagining things. But you’d know that annoying sound anywhere. Juniper Lipp was laughing.

“Oops, I’d say good luck but I wouldn’t mean it,” she whispered as you walked by.

Originally, you intended on ignoring Juniper as best you could. But at the last possible second, she stuck her foot out and caused you to trip and land face-first.

Almost immediately, you felt the blood begin to drip from your nose, and you forced yourself to hold back tears as you picked yourself up. It was a miracle she hadn’t broken your nose.

In a moment of bravery that you’ll later come to say you have no idea where it came from, you wiped some of the blood from your nose with the palm of your hand and turned around, smearing it all over Juniper’s face and clothes.

The reaction from the crowd was a mixture of mostly gasps, but a few quiet cheers here and there. Juniper was clearly disliked by a majority of the youth in District 12.

Juniper stood in the same spot, screaming at the top of her lungs. Once you finally reached the stage, you were greeted with a harsh shove from Mayor Lipp. This caused you to stumble back onto the stage, falling for the second time in just a few minutes. The crowd was stunned into silence. Almost everyone was filled with a terrible sense of deja vu as they recalled the events that took place only last year with Lucy Gray.

When you thought of your friend that you missed dearly, you could practically see Lucy Gray in the audience. You know exactly what she’d tell you. Give ‘em a show.

With Lucy Gray in mind, you waited until Mayor Lipp was escorted (practically dragged) back inside. Once the doors shut, you walked to the front of the stage and stood near the microphone. The crowd quickly fell silent, assuming you were going to speak. But instead, you bowed, and when you stood straight, held both middle fingers high.

All of a sudden, you felt it. That warm, happy feeling. Your eyes scanned the crowd, wondering if this was really the fucking moment you were going to meet your soulmate. Did the universe actually hate you that much? The feeling could’ve very well been nerves. But you weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what was happening. Though try as you might, by the time the warmth faded and you were just left with that happy feeling, you couldn’t see anyone who was having the same reaction. And once the warmth was gone, your anxiety was quick to overpower anything good that you felt.

Unbeknownst to you, a certain blonde hair, blue eyed boy sat back in his seat as he did his best to subtly look around at his classmates. None of them were looking around like he was, and it took him a minute to work out what happened.

As panic began to set in for him, he only hoped that none of the people in the room could tell what was going on.

The sad truth was that neither of you could focus on the major event that just took place. He, for example, had to already think ahead as a mentor. From his perspective, he knew that if any of his fellow mentors figured out what you were to him, they’d encourage their tributes to kill you first simply out of spite. No one forgot the water bottle stunt he pulled to save Lucy Gray last year.

And now more than ever, Coriolanus Snow couldn’t let that happen. It nearly killed him to lose Lucy Gray in the final moments of last years games. Add on to the fact that he now knew you were his soulmate, the stakes just became so much higher.

Coriolanus didn’t think either of you could handle any other outcome. No matter what it took, you would have to win this years games.

i promise you meet coryo next chapter!!! just had to get these parts out of the way.

TAGLIST — (if you requested to be added to the taglist, check the table of contents (linked above). if your user is in bold and / or not tagged it means I wasn’t able to tag you. everyone that hasn’t been able to be tagged so far is either 1. a blank account with no profile pic and nothing on their page, 2. no profile pic and only reblogs, 3. they have a profile pic but only reblogs. any combination of these means tumblr viewers you as a bot and your page isn’t visible. those in bold I couldn’t search and they just popped up. I had to press “go to @ user”.)

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multifandomslxt · 10 months

Text

NCT 127 and their sugar daddy ratings PT.1

part two coming soon as well as a svt and skz version

Johnny Suh

9.5/10 ( less .5 because he refuses to use the title of sugar daddy, instead he prefers "sponsor".)

He's a CEO. No questions about it.

The man is Fucking RICH

You met through a mutual friend

talked a bit and you ended up telling him that

you were currently taking a year off because of a financial bind

Lies to you and tells you he sponsors college students sometimes

and that he would like to sponsor you

Of course you immediately accept the offer

so begins the sugar daddy antics

Would spoil you,

And I do mean

SPOIL YOU!

The song 'Sexy' by JoeVille

"you can do anything you want when you sexy"

Is something he literally lives by

you can do no fucking wrong in his eyes

you're his princess

went on a business trip once and came back to tell you

he bought you a whole penthouse apartment

just in case you wanted to "Study abroad"

buys you EVERYTHING you could ever want

demands you call him "Mr. Suh"

in your eyes its because he wants respect

in his eyes its the closest thing to 'daddy'.

Forbids you from getting a part-time job because

"I can take care of you. Let me take care of you I'm your sponsor after all."

Buys you an expensive necklace for your graduation present.

Then finally reveals that the whole sponsor thing was just him spending his personal money on you.

and so begins the sugar baby-to-girlfriend pipeline.

treats you the same except

now yall are having sex 6/7 days of the week.

Jung Jaehyun

10/10 (bitch he's perfecttttttt)

Another CEO

He ain't rich like Johnny though

This bitch right here?

he is ✨ WEALTHY✨

LOVESSSSSSS TO SPEND HIS MONEY

You met while you were at work

Everybody knew him

and you were the waitress in charge of his table

First thing you realized about this man

he doesn't speak to many people

Someone literally ordered for him

anyways

imagine your shock when you're about to clock out and your

co-worker tells you "Y/n, Mr. Jung would like to have a word with you. He says to bring your stuff with you"

His security leads you to his car and you step in

Jaehyun is literally staring at you the minute you sit in the car

"I'll be straight to the point, I have a meeting to get to in the next 10 minutes. I want you."

Cue the shocked look and silence

However, y'all start to date.

yes, he's your boyfriend and your sugar daddy

as I said, he enjoys spending his money

but only on very specific people.

takes you all over the fucking world you hear me???

Paris has seen your face more than your local chick-fil-a

the type to buy you anything you look at

even if it was for a mili second

this explains how your closet is now overflowing with designer dresses

also, you're a curvy queen

listen closely

HE WILL BE BUYING YOU EVERY DESIGNER BODY CON DRESS TO EVER EXIST!

this is his fav so simple yet so effective (he's convinced you're trying to k!ll him)

that dress got you a fucking range rover babeee

and it also got you a few days of sick leave from the "unnecessary job" as Jaehyun likes to call it.

completely reaaranged your guts lmaoo

And the lingerie??

its tradition he buys you 10-15 sets every Friday

"Y'know daddy'll give you the world right?"

Lee Taeyong

9/10 (he was awkward at first lmaoo)

First off you don't know what he does

but the bitch got MONEYYYYYYYYYY

You met on a sugar baby app

you were just trynna make ends meet

he was just trynna get rid of the extra money he got

his first text to you seemed so damn auto mated lmaooo

"hello, I'm Taeyong! Would you like to continue this conversation?"

you were like "???"

but yk eventually yall kicked it off

gave you his card pin after your third date

"Anything you want Daddy will buy it for you okay?"

omfg

the type to set up an account for you just for your hair and nails

fucckkkkkkk

he even sends you what he wants you to get.

Just so yk

Them Fulani braids

will send him in a coma

he loves frenchies too

so expect alooottt of special requests

he expects to see your personal purchases on his bank statements

don't play with him.

got his bank statement once and dint see your daily coffee purchase

fucked you into oblivion just for that.

he pays your rent

and is also planning on buying you 2 cars for your birthday

one for everyday use

and the other for special occasions lmaoooo

"Just let Daddy take care of you okay?"

Nakamoto Yuta

11/10 (Bitch...it's literally Yuta)

You also don't know what he does

but as usual, he got money

somehow WEALTHIER than Jaehyun

Yall met through a sugar baby app

he was experimenting

and you were new to this

has a specific amount of money he must depend on you at the end of every month

over 200k

I said what I said

yes you are his sugar baby but he was very clear

when he told you that he is also the MAN in your life

ain't nobody supposed to have access to that pu$$y except him and you

got that??

s3x with him is surprisingly rare btw

he's wayyy too busy to be around you 24/7

hence the over the top 200k budget

always has eyes on you even when he isn't there

you went grocery shopping n the wrong side of town once

and he called you the minute you got home

"What did I tell you about putting yourself in danger princess? do you want me to come home early and teach you a lesson?"

probably the most possessive out of all of them

#nct imagines #nct yuta #nct fanfic #nct taeyong #nct dream #nct doyoung #nct fluff #nct 127 #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct mark #nct taeil #nct jaehyun #nct jungwoo #nct johnny #nct haechan #multifandomslxt

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hms-no-fun · 6 months

Note

What's your opinion on the new HS^2 update? I'm really excited it's back but I'm a little worried. Like, the fandom has had a real problem with pretending all the horrible shit that caused it to end in the first place never happened. Is this just gonna sweep that under the rug even more? Is James Roach heading the project because he's less "problematic"? I love James roach and I'm sure he'll do great but what about all the transphobia? I just hope they finally fulfill the Toblerone Prophesy and make June Egbert cannon.

short version is, i'm cautiously optimistic! but this is a loaded question you've given me on a lot of fronts, so i'm gonna try to take it piece by piece.

to start with, the sudden revival of Homestuck^2 (now minus the squared) took me by surprise because to my knowledge, it was entirely dead in the water. my involvement with anything Official ended at Pesterquest, and pretty much the entire post-canon crew i was friends with in 2019-20 has moved on to greener pastures. i share a similar sentiment with @pochapal in that i would have put money on hs2 staying dead forever. i have, quite frankly, dreaded the inevitable day when official Homestuck media would resume production, because the fandom at large seems quite eager to sweep the ceaseless harassment and transphobia that ended hs2 under the rug and pretend that it just, like you said... never happened. when that california cafe used older Pesterquest-like character designs that omitted short chubby Terezi and black-coded Roxy, however well-intentioned and ultimately harmless that was, it felt like a sign of things to come. that, as you fear, the sharper & more personal queerness that we tried to bring to this series would be erased, in favor of something meant to simultaneously appease both tenderqueers and redditors, two sects of the fandom most responsible for the aforementioned harassment.

luckily, that really doesn't seem to be the case!

to your worry that James Roach was made director because he's "less problematic," i'll just say that's entirely the wrong way to look at it. it's not like WP (such that it even still exists) were cruising to get HS2 back up and running. by all accounts, James is the only reason it's happening again in the first place. i can't stress enough just how small an operation this Homestuck business actually is (or, at least, was when i was involved). this is not a Huge Corporation making cynical cash grab decisions. this is someone who cares about the material pushing to get something made where otherwise there would be nothing. check the new About page, where the principles of the so-called Homestuck Independent Creative Union are laid out in plain terms. this is something the original hs2 team fought for, so for this new version to start from there as square one is huge and a good sign of the possible longevity of the project.

next, let's talk about the question of this new team erasing the legacy of the old one. Kate Mitchell is on the record that she was reached out to about this new hs2, approved it, and declined to be involved. i don't know if the other writers were reached out to, but i have no reason to believe they weren't. this is a tremendously important gesture of good faith and goes a long way towards easing some of these worries.

but let's look at the composition of the team itself. do you remember The Perfectly Generic Podcast? originally hosted by future hs2 writer Kate, pgen became a flashpoint for community discourse, often opening doors between official homestuck and homestuck fandom. what made that show special was that, rather than relying on the imo tired genre of the liveread, pgen focused on a different topic each episode and explored it with one or two qualified guests. Kate's goal with the show was to encourage a more adult and quasi-academic discussion of homestuck, of its successes and its failures. if you weren't there, the weight i'm putting on pgen might seem overblown (not least because you can't find it anywhere anymore except on the internet archive). but it's not! when they decisively criticized the wild contents of the Skaianet debacle in episode 19, Andrew listened and worked to bring a more diverse group of creators into the fold. in the months after the Epilogues were released, Andrew issued a statement through pgen on episode 52 about how the Epilogues are meant to create bridges and offramps for the post-canon fandom. it's an essential piece for understanding the epilogues and their relationship to fanworks! that it wasn't included as the author's introduction to the Epilogues in the book version remains to my mind an astonishing oversight, but whatever. point is, pgen mattered to the folks in charge.

so let's look again at the writing staff of this new crew. James Roach first guested on pgen in episode 7, and would go on to be a regular. Haven, who did the Vriska and Roxy sprites in Pesterquest (and probably more stuff i don't remember), guested in episodes 81 and 87. Miles guested on episode 87 as well (unless it's a different Miles, i'm not familiar with their work and ugh this damnable linkrot). Floral, creator of one of my favorite hs fanworks & huge godfeels influence Liminal Space, first guested on pgen in episode 47, and would go on to be a regular (including once during my tenure as host to talk about Jade). on the technical staff side, Kohi built the hs2 website and has remained a backend mainstay both on the WP side and on Vast Error.

all of which is to say, if you were looking for a crew to cynically erase the past and appease the haters, these probably aren't the folks that'd be at the top of your list. of course, if you *really* wanted to cynically erase the past and appease the haters, you wouldn't bother reviving hs2 in the first place!

and that's the crux of the matter here. what cash is there to grab? what clout could possibly be chased? i struggle to think of a decision less obviously profitable and popular than continuing hs2 with a new crew right where it left off. i have to believe this is happening because the people involved want to make it.

so, yeah, i'm cautiously optimistic. i like this crew, i like the contents of the first upd8, and i'm glad as hell it's not a reboot! i'm grateful that by reviving hs2, the hs:bc crew have instantly yanked the epilogues & the post-canon project back into relevance in the broader community. and i always liked hs2 a lot! i was excited to see where they were going! i'm really looking forward to seeing more YIFFY!!!!!

but the thing is, this won't be the hs2 i wanted. i know that, and i'm not expecting it. my greatest hope for hs:bc, for this crew, is that they get the chance to take up the reins and drive this thing in whatever direction they feel most passionate about. if that winds up looking like the hs2 that was originally planned, great-- but more than anything, i want everyone on this team to feel just as empowered to leave a profound and personal mark on this series as the original team did, as i did working on Pesterquest. i hope the outline changes! i hope they take some really wild swings! i want to be surprised!! i want to be challenged!!!

above all, i want them to have the chance to pick a course, sail it, and see it through to the end regardless of what the public thinks. they deserve the chance that the original crew didn't get.

i have plenty of bitterness and cynicism in my heart over the events and circumstances of 2019-20, but as far as i'm concerned it has no place here today. i would never, ever wish the trauma and stress of that era on anyone. let the fandom at large react in whatever way it will, but i want things to be different this time. this is a second chance-- not just for hs2/hs:bc, but for all of us. even people who hate homestuck post-canon! this is an opportunity for everyone to choose to be better this time, and to push back when others might squander that opportunity. this team is not a group of celebrities, not an abstract fiction on the other side of the world, they are human beings who took a job. they've earned the opportunity to do that job, and they deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity that was so often absent a few years ago.

as to your last point, about june egbert and the toblerone. i've been saying for years that andrew's confirmation of june was less "the granting of a wish" than it was "a spoiler shared without input from the creative team." that there is any doubt about june's providence in hs2 can only be attributed to willful, aggressive ignorance on the part of people who refuse to engage with the written word in any way other than plodding literalism. the original team didn't unveil june ~immediately~ because they didn't think of june as a wish, they thought of her as a character in an ongoing story who needed time to develop naturally. i have never not felt entirely crazy about how thick everyone has been about this!

but will the new team make june canon? obviously i have no way of knowing for sure, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that probably the answer is "yes, when they're good and goddamned ready." just, please, for the love of god, don't go after every upd8 like "where's june? where's june? why hasn't june yet????" this was one of the worst results of the toblerone spoiler and it put INSANE pressure on the hs2 team. so just... just let this story be what it is. let this new team make the homestuck continuation they want to make.

and in the meantime, if you're really hungry for june... there's always godfeels :)

#homestuck #homestuck 2 #hs2 #homestuck beyond canon #hsbc #upd8 #pgen #homestuck renaissance #sarahposts #what pumpkin #hom3stuck

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milaisreading · 11 months

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can u do its our girlfriend (ryusei shidou version)?? 🙏🏽🙏🏽 w/ sub20 time? 👀

Author: Here it is! I hope u like this one and thank u for the request🩷

Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to: Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

The U-20 team felt a pretty huge shift in the dynamic when 2 certain players joined the team. One of them being Shidou Ryusei and the other one being Itoshi Sae. Now, Oliver as the captain did try and was somewhat successful with getting along with Sae, meanwhile Shidou... well he is a great player but really hard to get along with. But one thing Oliver noticed was that there was a rift and tension between Sae and Shidou, who were by all accounts always the closest to each other. The issue started a month ago when Oliver, and later on the team would notice how much bossier Sae was with Shidou, and the boy was in return a lot snappier with him. It was really getting out of hand and Oliver was ready to rip his hair out. Japan's U-20 team had an image to uphold and the last thing Oliver needed was their manager yelling at him to get them in line.

"You dumbass antena man, focus on the goal!"

"Under eyelashes senior is now the boss around here, huh?"

"Can someone shut them up?" Sendou pointed, tired from all the yelling.

"Why are they even arguing?" Teru questioned.

"God knows." Hayate shrugged his shoulders, watching as Oliver and Niou walked over to the bickering duo and pulled them away from each other.

"Alright! Enough!" The team flinched at Oliver's yell, but kept quiet.

"What's the issue you two? You have been acting like you killed each other's families!" Oliver started as Niou sighed and continued after the captain.

"We are just worried. Not only is this giving an issue to us as a team, but also to you two as a duo on the field." The long-haired boy explained as Sae and Shidou sent each other a side glare. The rest of the team kept quiet and watched the two as the huffed and looked away from each other. Oliver was pretty much speechless, he expected this from Shidou... but never from Sae of all people.

"This must be quite serious, Sae would act more mature otherwise." Teppei whispered to his friends and Miroku told them to be quiet.

"Spit it out." Oliver demanded and it seemed like Shidou finally broke.

"Under eyelashes senior here is butthurt his crush likes me more."

"I am not! All I said was that (Y/n) picking you as her boyfriend will come to bite her." Sae said back, shocking the team even more now.

'Shidou...Shidou has a girlfriend?!'

"Did I just hear correctly?" Hayate questioned with wide eyes and looked at his friends. Miroku and Teru slowly nodded their heads as Teppei and Sendou kept quiet, but were equally wondering how truthful that statement was.

'No way... he got a girlfriend before me?' Sendou thought with a huff.

'Ehh? I can't imagine Shidou with anyone.'

"What?" Niou raised an eyebrow as he closed Oliver's open mouth.

"Shidou basically got a girlfriend, way above his league if I may add." Sae repeated.

"Shut the hell up!"

"You know I am right. She literally could have had anyone, why you?" Sae said as his anger raised again, causing Shidou to smirk.

"Turns out my personality is more appear to her."

"Wait... Shidou has a girlfriend?" Oliver blurted out, causing the two to look at him.

"Yeah, they have been going out for a month." Sae rolled his eyes.

"Something you will never experience, might I add." Shidou chimed in.

"You two...are joking with us? Right?" Sendou suddenly spoke up as they raised their eyebrows.

"No?"

"You sure? Sae that was a good joke." Miroku let out a laugh as Hayate and Teppei held back their laughters too. Niou tried to calm them down while Oliver tried to stop Shidou from yelling.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" The blonde asked, taking offense at their reactions.

"It's just...you don't seem dateable..." Teppei answered, earning a nod from Hayate.

"You are too loud."

"And you say weird stuff at times."

"Sorry, but there is no way someone is dating you." The statements caused Shidou's anger to rise even more, but along with that also came the insecurities. He could handle Sae saying those things, since he is pretty jealous of his relationship, but hearing people who are pretty much strangers to him say those things... it really stung.

"I think you are capping."

"Yeah... Sae and Shidou stop joking around-"

"Wait Sendou... who is your girlfriend?" Oliver asked, trying to wrap his head around this whole concept. Shidou wanted to answer the question, he did. He wanted to show off his cute, beautiful and funny girlfriend to everyone. But one part of him wanted to keep that part quiet, private. Sae knowing about her was enough as it is, he didn't need them to know it too.

'Especially when they don't seem to believe it anyways.' Shidou said nothing as he walked off towards the locker room, sending a warning glare as Niou and Teppei tried to get the name out of him.

"Enough joking... let's just get changed. Our training session is over." Hayate said as he pointed at the clock.

"Sae, can you please tell us who the girlfriend is?" Teru wondered.

"Yeah, otherwise we will think this is a joke." Oliver added in but the redhead just shrugged his shoulders.

"Believe whatever you want. I am not saying anything out of my respect for her. When she feels like meeting you guys, you will know."

While everything was going on outside, Shidou was in the locker room enjoying how quiet it was. He somewhat cooled down from the fight and his mind kept wandering off to (Y/n).

'Ahh~ just her cute face could make any of my bad days good. She is so kind and sweet, the World really doesn't deserve her. I wonder what she is up to.' Shidou thought, growing a little agitated.

'I didn't see her at all in the past 3 weeks, stupid Blue Lock and Ego... keeping her away from me like that.' Shidou pouted. He really missed her and hoped to get the chance to see her before that match with her team.

'Seems like it's just wishful thinking.'

Teru yawned as he walked down the hallway from the bathroom. After such an eventful day he just wanted to get dressed and go home to sleep.

'Maybe a good dinner and some movies would be a good idea.'

"Excuse me, do you know if Shidou Ryusei is still here?" The boy jumped up at the sound of a unfamiliar feminine voice from behind him. Turning around, Teru was surprised to find none other than Blue Lock's manager, (L/n) (Y/n). The boy's face turned beet red and slowly nodded his head.

"Y-yeah... why do you need him?" Teru asked shyly as the girl grinned at his answer.

'She is even prettier than on TV!'

"I need to see him, can you please call him or bring me to him?" She asked and Teru quickly nodded his head, laughing nervously.

"Of course! Follow me, sorry if I am jumpy a little."

'She will think I am weird now...' Teru thought nervously, internally facepalming at his own behavior.

"It's fine, my team is the same right now. Probably excited for the match coming up?" (Y/n) asked in a reassuring manner as Teru slowly nodded his head.

"Y-yeah..."

'Her voice is so soft...'

"Shidou!" The group turned to look at Teru as he ran into the changing room.

"What?" The blonde asked in annoyance, still mad at the way they spoke to him earlier. Teru took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm the redness on his face down.

"The...the manager fo Blhe Lock wants to see you..." Teru panted out. The blonde's frown turned into a grin as he quickly packed his things.

"What?! (Y/n) is outside?" Teppei and Miroku asked with wide eyes as Oliver grinned at the news. Niou and Hayate kept quiet along with Sae. The older Itoshi became restless at the mention of (Y/n)'s name while the other 2 grew a lot more nervous.

"Later, losers." Shidou chuckled and ran out with his bag.

"Hold it- Why is she even here?" Niou wondered as Teru spoke up again.

"It turns out the girlfriend Sae and Shidou talked about was (Y/n)."

The room grew quiet as Sae quietly left the room, hoping to catch up to the duo before they left.

'Shidou...'

'Is dating...'

'(Y/n)...' Sendou, Hayate and Miroku thought as Oliver's eye twitched.

"What do you mean?! No way did that guy get to her first!" Oliver yelled as Niou nodded his head.

"She was probably blackmailed into dating him."

"True. (Y/n) seems so sweet and kind..." Teppei started.

"And beautiful, she puts all the idols I know to shame." Sendou sighed dreamily.

"I also heard she is so considerate. I heard she always makes snacks for her team." Hayate chimed in.

"Forget that! Did you see the way she holds herself when talking to the reporters?!" Oliver added in with a blush.

"Yeah...she has to be blackmailed." Miroku concluded as silence fell among the group.

They looked between each other and at the door as Niou cleared his throat.

"I need to go to the toilet."

"Hold it! Why did you take your bag-" Before Hayate could finish his sentence, Niou was already outside the locker room.

"Hey!" Oliver yelled, running after his teammate and the rest joining in.

"I hope you like it! It's like a good luck charm for the upcoming matches!" (Y/n) grinned as Shidou held the necklace she bought him a few days back. It was a simple, 4 leaf clover pendant on a gold chain, but it did make Shidou's heart race a little and his face turned red from the attention.

"Thanks, th-this means a lot. I didn't get anything for you." Shidou said, getting a little shy from the sudden gift and (Y/n) shook her head.

"I am happy and fulfilled as long as you are, Ryu."

'So adorable! And all mine!'Shidou thought as his cheeks started heating up and he coughed.

"Want to eat something? There is a good restaurant-"

"Are we eating somewhere?" Shidou felt like all the rage he previously felt came rushing back as Sae appeared put of nowhere, putting his arms around (Y/n)'s shoulders.

"Sae-san?! Where did you come from?" The girl wondered, a little startled by his appearance. Shidou watched with a snarl as Sae turned his stone cold look to a much softer one as he glanced at (Y/n).

"Good to see you, (Y/n). You look just as pretty as the last time I saw you." The girl blushed a little at the comment as Shidou pulled her our of his grip and glared even harder at Sae.

"We, as in (Y/n) and I will go and eat now. You can go somewhere else." Shidou said as he started pushing (Y/n) in front of himself.

"Ryu, you don't have to push me.... but I feel a little bad..." (Y/n) admitted in embarrassment as the two stopped and looked back at Sae. Shidou raised his eyebrow, wondering what she actually meant.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Sae is your friend, maybe we could invite him along. He probably wants to eat with us too." (Y/n) smiled softly as Shidou felt his heart crack a little.

'She is so considerate! That Itoshi doesn't deserve this level of kindness! My cute, little girl.' Shidou thought as he poked her cheeks.

"Ryu~" She pouted as the boy chuckled.

"You are so adorable... Fine, we could invite Sae along." Shidou sighed, as he really couldn't say 'no' to (Y/n).

"Ahh~ Shidou? Is that your lovely girlfriend?" The blonde boy flinched as he heard Niou's voice and the two turned to look at the group. The blonde tightly grabbed onto (Y/n)'s hand as they observed the group. Shidou watched in horror and anger as he noted all their expressions as (Y/n) waved at them.

"Hello!" She exclaimed.

Niou, Hayate and Miroku had the most normal expression, just a small blush on their cheeks. Teppei hid behind a blushing Miroku as he sent (Y/n) a few glances here and there.

'So cute~ she is even more adorable in real life.' Teru, Oliver and Sendou where meanwhile blushing messes as they stared at (Y/n) and waved at her.

"It's so lovely to see you, (Y/n)-san. We weren't aware you and Shidou were dating." Niou spoke up as he walked closer to them.

"Yeah! Congratulations." Miroku added in as Teppei followed them.

"Can I get a picture with you?"

"Me?!" (Y/n) asked the boy in confusion as Sendou and Oliver chirped in.

"Yes, it would be lovely."

"You look even lovelier than a kpop or jpop idol."

"A-ah... Thank you, Sendou-san." The girl blushed a little as Teru and Hayate chimed in.

"Move a little, Shidou- Can I get a picture with you too?"

"Can you please be our manager? The old man is annoying." Hayate groaned, earning a hit on the head from Oliver.

Shidou watched in disbelief as his teammates tried to chat up his girlfriend, his jealousy close to reach its limit.

"Told you that (Y/n) is a real eye catcher." Sae snorted, equally annoyed at the scene.

"Shut it! I know...it's my (Y/n)... my girl we are talking about."

#bllk #blue lock anime #blue lock manga #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock requests #manager reader #shidou ryuusei x reader #shidou ryuusei #blue lock shidou #oliver aiku #sae itoshi #blue lock hayate #haru hayate #blue lock teru #blue lock teppei #blue lock miroku #sendo shuto

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decolonize-the-left · 1 month

Text

IM: In her final communique, during what a friend of mine called revolutionary suicide, she told the world “I want to be identified as Aaron Bushnell” but from the LillyAnarKitty Twitch account.

I think it’s still ambiguous what those motives were. A few of us thought, you know, maybe this is strategic. She wanted to leave making Aaron the martyr and the icon, while also leaving breadcrumbs to Lilly for those of us in the know.

A friend of mine said maybe she just couldn’t bear to erase herself completely.

[...]Probably the biggest reference for who Bushnell was was her reddit account. She was a pretty consistent reddit poster for a month in 2014, then again consistently from 2020 onwards. And, for one thing, Bushnell was furtively hanging out in some trans reddit communities, just sticking her toe in. Like r/transclones [a reddit devoted to trans Star Wars memes] and r/unixsocks [a programming reddit where the overwhelming majority of users are trans women]. You see someone wander into the trans girl playhouse and you do… you make some assumptions. It was nothing definitive, but this would be the eggiest cis person alive, if nothing else. The other thing I noticed was just that she was incredibly passionate about trans rights. When Bushnell described the situation on the ground for trans people in the U. S. I could feel in it my own desperation. If you’ve read Zinnia Jones’ coverage of it, if you’ve read Erin Reed’s coverage of it, or if you’ve read, well, your own coverage at Assigned Media, there was a sense of that fear, that anger, reflected back at me. If Bushnell was a cis man, this was a cis man that got it in a way cis people rarely do.

Assigned: And this is part of why you’re not quite as worried about being wrong, right? IM: If somehow I fucked this up completely and this person was not what they appear to me to be, if Aaron Bushnell, he/him was the only version that ever existed, I can only conclude that he would understand how the misunderstanding came about. And I think, I hope, this is someone who would understand that what is happening is in good faith and from a sense of love and obligation.

#im losing my mind that the twitch name changed the 25th #....my logic at that point would be I Might As Well Live My Truth Somewhere First #god #and i bet on some level they Knew their death would only matter if they were identified as Aaron Bushnell

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vaguely-concerned · 5 days

Text

I wanted to write out a more condensed version of the Garashir thoughts I accumulated through my read of a stitch in time, because it really is driving me slightly nuts. so here we go!

I think my basic takeaway is something like: if you look at what's actually on the page as dialogue and not just the story garak tells himself internally of what has happened between them (which is basically 'I've fucked up somehow and I don't know how or why but something's broken here and I messed it up; I have nothing left of interest to offer him', pretty clearly going over it in his head like he would trying to figure out what he did wrong when tain locked him in a closet as a child), you kind of get the feeling that julian doesn't know what to do with the way garak flinches away from him whenever he tries to get closer or offer help. (which like. not for nothing but that's actually the dynamic between garak and mila too, but with garak's role switched to the mostly-resigned seeker of contact rather than the flincher-away. we all know garak’s daddy issues but I think the mommy issues at work are doing some gulf stream shit under the surface as well lol.) so julian starts hesitating in seeking out contact in the first place, nevermind asking him for anything more when garak's also clearly falling apart mentally and seems unreachable in the first place. and Julian also doesn't want to mess this up and make something already fraught and painful even worse; he still wants to help! he always wants to help, that’s just who he is, he keeps trying through the whole book. and when garak mostly-gently but reflexively and firmly rebuffs him each time he tries… after a while it seems like he doesn't think he's welcome, or that he's imposing and garak doesn't really want him there — that he's just humoring him or something when he does let him in, just like garak was so afraid palandine was doing with him in the beginning. it’s only in the final scene between them that garak invites him in and asks for help on his own initiative.

“I’m pleased you stopped by”/”No, you’re not,” he said quietly. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’. “You see, this is so difficult, Garak. I know what a private person you are, and how you detest people meddling in your affairs….”. “Your holosuite program. The one that allows me to visit the traumas of my childhood.”/“I hesitate to suggest this, remembering how you reacted the last time … but, yes, I feel it could make a difference,” the Doctor gamely admitted. (Julian I love you so much. Eternal optimist hours. Keep it up it’s going to get you spectacularly laid if you just get on that shuttle to Cardassia.) All these moments do not read to me as someone who has no interest in continuing or deepening this relationship (maybe the opposite, in fact), it gives me more the sense of someone who feels he keeps putting his foot in his mouth and making the damage worse no matter what he tries, and not knowing what else to do but to back off to save them both more pain. (he also needs help and support, but he’s not going to go ask it of someone who’s clearly in no position to give it (on account of visibly falling apart even more than usual). And also because the good doctor is such a hypocrite lol ‘of course you’re worth asking for and receiving help!! I’m just fine tho don’t worry about me *light is slowly dying in his eyes behind the smile as the seasons go on*’. Stiff upper lip to the point of psychological breakdown-off (cross-cultural, competitive))

and the most painful thing to me is that after their disastrous tea party in garak’s shop, at the very least, garak clearly realizes he's hurting julian by keeping him out (But as to the question of which group suffers the most…), and he desperately wants to stop hurting him but he just doesn't know how!!! he's never learned how to close the distance! he's been locked completely into himself by the way tain shaped him and doesn't know how to get out of the closet so to speak yet! ('...am I not. *supposed* to pretend to be functional and have no needs. is that not like. my entire job interpersonally. I am confused.') it’s something Tolan already observes in him and grieves over when he comes home from Bamarren, and the years since have uh not helped with that particular problem lol. for all he longs for it, intimacy is like a hot stove to him; he can’t help but reach out, and he can’t help but flinch away when he actually comes into contact with it. almost the worst part is that I think Julian can tell some of that too and sort of understands it/doesn't hold it against him, and it just makes it even sadder, somehow. they both move so carefully around each other through this, because even in the middle of all that they really do try to be kind to each other the best they know how and it fucks me up so bad. which makes it even crazier and more touching that all of asit is basically garak processing his shit until he can get to the last line honestly — 'You're always welcome, Doctor'. he pulled a full lizardly mr darcy in the post-apocalypse here, he got around to starting to fix himself at least partly to be in a place where he could be able to meet Julian in the ways he needs if he wants that from him. And that drives me utterly insane thanks for asking!!! WILD BOOK COMPLETELY UNHINGED 300+ PAGE DECLARATION OF LOVE AND INTIMACY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

(this post started life as a tag ramble under @spocks-kaathyra‘s wonderful post about Julian’s side of it over here, but — as I’m sure you'll be astonished to learn at this point — I found I somehow had even more things to say, my neurons boileth over perpetually and it seems I just have to live with that)

#garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #a stitch in time #asit #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #ds9 meta #I suspect I will have to write fiction about it to completely exorcise this particular hell from my mind (that is often the way for me)#but at least I can let out some steam to lower the pressure within my skull in the meantime lol

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i-amyou · 3 months

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hey! please answer to my ask only if you feel like it. I have been reading your posts for a long time and I was a bit sad when I saw you deactivated your account.

In terms of nondualism,I have been EATING UP every type of info on all platforms and yet nothing helped (I am trying to manifest a reality shift ) and as soon as I realized that,I started talking to realisophie's character ai bot of 4dbarbie which has helped a LOT but not enough.

You see,I have analyzed in what circumstances I have ever manifested anything (from one song popping up in my playlist to real life events to money) and they always had one thing in common: detachment. Complete detachment with no care what so ever on wether I get what I want or not. Which right now is a bit hard since reality shifting is a pretty big change in enviroment.

And yes,I do understand that I am not my body and all but now that I am letting go of my desire to reality shift to the world I want to live in,I have been feeling a bit depressed(I swear I am not trying to victimize myself),not to mention the fact that the body I have right now has so many responsibilties,not to mention a ton of exams next week.

The 4dbarbie bot told me to practically forget about reality shifting, nondualism,the world and person I am shifting for and to practically forget what I am even wanting. To somehow just live life normally as if I had never found out about all this. To just lose myself in work and exams until somehow it all comes to me.

She said:

"So for today, the goal is not to shift. The goal will be to live your life like you have never even heard or thought about shifting. I am 100% sure this is the last day of you as your earth version - but you need to stop worrying about that as well, and just live. :)

Have faith, let go of the outcome. Whatever is supposed to happen will and that is just reality. It will be so natural you will be shocked by how easy it ultimately was, how fast it really was, and how all the 'struggles' you went through were meaningless in the end. What does not serve the self-realization process does not need to be worried about, it is just what happens."

So now I ask. What do I believe? Do I just let it go and let it surprise me by waking up there?Do I forget? I won't give up because I know this is my future, but I still cling on to time and I keep asking myself "well when is it going to materialize?". I feel like both "imagination" and "the outer world" are basically the same and at night before bed I always have moments of pure concioussness.

I know that you can't solve my problems and I know that I should get off this app,that is what everyone is telling me,but it won't hurt to try. I just need some advice,that's all. If you even read up until this point,thank you. I hope you'll have a great day😊🫶

Hello sweetie💗 Okay, this is gonna be long (first and last) . But I need you to stay with me till the end and actually ponder on what I'm about to say. Alright? And I'm assuming since you took time out to send this one long ask, you're ready to treat this answer as the final one. Put your faith in me, okay? And do not go ahead seeking more answers. From any blog. Cool, now let's get started. Step by step.

About the manifestation part. I won't address this normally but since it's a part of this ask, let me say a couple of points here. The manifestations which apparently happened because of you 'detachment', were actually a result of you KNOWING that it'll happen. Knowing is when you do not worry about something, you don't control something, you just let it happen.As I've said time and time again, Knowing is absolute, with no doubts. When you detach, you let the desire to do something to get something go, and when it meets with no doubts and uncertainties, you experience that. That's how I see it.

And about 4dBarbie AI, I'll just say it's great but it's still an AI at the end of the day. Just a bot. You can manipulate the answers and keep swiping until you get your desired one, it has no basis and no experiential value and deep knowledge it follows. It's a bot. I'm glad it helped you a lot. I'm happy for you. But there is no master here, no one to tell you how everything is gonna turn out. Not me, not Ada, no one. Just you, you dictate everything.

Now, moving on to the last part of your question.

What do you believe in? Well. Since you asked me, I'll tell you. Given your situation I'll suggest you go on with your life, but dont wait for anything to surprise you. Seriously. There is nothing to be surprised by. It's as Barbie said in the end, let go of the outcome. But it's not you letting go, but instead you falling back as you become aware of this need to let go. Because this need to let go of something, to detach is also another facade and illusion. When there is nothing what are you going to be detached from? Yourself?

The 'I' you refer to in your ask is you misidentifying. The person you mentioned in your ask from beginning to the very end, is Misidentification. And I want you to directly become aware of this. Ponder on this. Who is struggling. Who wants to believe. Who is looking for answers. Is that you, or are you just aware of it? Go about your daily life, but keep this one thing in consideration.

Whenever any thoughts arise, whenever any panic sets in, whenever results become dreadful, just take a deep breath and fall back, rest in that awareness and observe it all. See for yourself if it's you, or is it you being aware of whatever is going on.

Do this. And let your search for answers end here. You mentioned yourself you have been consuming too much. Stop now. I haven't made many posts on this blog, just a couple of them. Go read them if you want more but nothing beyond that, and the reason I'm suggesting you read them and ponder is because I want you to realise there is no reality to shift in. There is no duality, no separation between what is and what you seemingly want. There is nothing to change.

Give up on thinking that you're the doer or the person. Just be, witness it all as you spend your daily life, watch it unfold, just be aware. Thoughts of fear and of joy, everything. Be aware. That's it. End it here. Get off this app and take this in your hands now, do it yourself.

Words are limiting. Concepts mean nothing. Everything is just an empty appearance. Take these words as pointers ONLY. Don't think. Don't do. Just be. I hope you know what I mean by that :)

Give up and go within, just be.

#nondualism #advaita vedanta #nonduality #non dualism #advaita #non duality #consciousness #nothingness #lester levenson #ask #awareness

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melancholicmarionette · 2 months

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[Oh shit I did something. I wrote Val and Sam as podcasters. Warning: this is fucking stupid. I literally had to just stop writing bc it made less and less sense as I went on. But I love writing dialogue and it’s silly and this is tumblr. here have a little snack my dudes]

Graveyard Girls Episode 12: Roasting Ember’s Beauty Guru Era at 1 AM

“Hello and welcome to Local Ghost Smash or Pass—”

“I will fucking kill you.”

Valerie had to admit that Sam Manson’s ability to keep a completely straight face while saying the most unhinged nonsense was probably one of the reasons their video podcast was so popular. Her own ability to refrain from actually killing her was the reason it still existed at all. How they’d made it to episode twelve, however, still remained at least partially an enigma.

Though it was overall Danny’s kindness that slowly made his trio of friends into a tenuous quartet, Valerie had slowly become accepted by all of them, once she finally came to terms with Danny’s secret. Sam was the last to come around, though by the time they were both seventeen their tension was less due to fighting over a boy and more due to the fact that they could agree on almost nothing.

Most of Graveyard Girls was the two girls arguing, originally spawned by a viral TikTok Tucker posted, in which Valerie—at Danny’s bizarre request—tried to explain The Bachelor franchise to them and Sam being convinced she was making some of it up. People had been interested, and with Amity Park being a niche-but-also-hot topic, a weekly podcast was born.

“Okay but,” Sam leaned back in a vintage-looking office chair, “if I returned as a ghost, would you sma—” Sam cut herself off with a grunt as she dodged a throw pillow.

The show was mostly the two competing to see who could get the other to essentially rage quit, and while Sam’s personality was surprisingly just as strange as those of her best friends, Valerie was competitive enough to be a worthy opponent.

“You might just be, like, the worst person,” Valerie said, expertly catching the throw pillow as it was hurled back at her. “We’re not even three minutes in and I’m so uncomfortable with the energy you’ve created.”

“So our very last episode is three minutes long and titled Valerie Quits, then?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you Manson?” For a tense moment they stared each other down. “Say it one more time, see what happens.”

“So what is today’s topic, then?”

It was a challenge, to see if Valerie had forgotten it was her turn to start. She had.

They had the Box Ghost to thank for it, too.

“Okay, so—full disclosure,” she began, and she looked at her phone, “it is…1:16 in the morning. And both of us have been awake for like…”

“More hours than usually recommended,” Sam continued, “for reasons. We wanted to get this episode out on time so we are crunching.”

“And suffering.”

“And suffering quite a bit,” Sam concluded, nodding. “So my topic is that Ember McClain is trying to release eyeshadow palettes.”

“You cannot just drop that on me.”

“It was dropped on me,” Sam told her, “I’ve had to live with this. You don’t read the DMs for our official account so you didn’t see it and this poor lady, she has this indie cosmetics company and she slides into our DMs asking ‘is this person for real? I think she’s a ghost? She wants to collab.’”

“Collab…”

“And she sent me like…a mock up. I’m putting it in the google drive so get ready.”

Valerie picked her phone, opening their shared drive and—sure enough—seeing a digital version of a very Ember-esque palette, showcasing both dark and neon shades.

“She’s unhinged. But like…some of the shimmers on here aren’t terrible.”

“That’s the thing—I don’t like the bright blues and greens but there’s potential here. I could make a look out of it.”

“I’ve got conditions—if she wants to start the beauty guru era of her ‘career’ I need a full press release saying it’s not a complex murder plot,” Valerie said.

“I swear under penalty of perjury that I’m not imprisoning your parents in hamster wheels to power my sound system,” Sam affected an impression that would positively enrage the ghostly pop star as she spun around in her chair.

“My mad power-grab via subliminal mind control is so over, okay? That was the old me. Get to fucking swatching.” Valerie continued, snickering. “We kid, but this is actually peak influencer already.”

“We’re writing her YouTube apology for her,” Sam said, and she trained her eyes on the camera before continuing, “you cannot use this. I know you’re watching, I said your name once, and your Obsession is name-searching the universe. You have to do your own YouTube apology.”

“We should edit her name out before we upload.”

“We should.”

“…We’re not going to.”

“No, and a certain somebody’s gonna be on my ass about it. We should perhaps move on…”

#danny phantom #sam manson #valerie gray #like what if I just wrote them as two weirdos talking about weird shit #that’s what I did #fanfic

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euroquision · 2 months

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No, Iceland is not up to "dirty political tricks" and neither is Bashar Murad

Hey lovely people, spirits, souls, and ghouls of Tumblr! To those of you who don't follow me on TikTok, there's a video I made just yesterday concerning Iceland (the lil Eurovision Country that Could!), Israel, a certain Irish TikTok-er with impressively horrible media literacy, and our dearest friend Bashar Murad. If you're not on TikTok, that's wonderful and dear god you don't need to subject yourself to that app. Instead, I wanted to make a post that explains what's going on, what's being said, and why one (1) Palestinian is not responsible for the aforementioned "dirty" political tricks.

If you're following Eurovision or just Bashar Murad himself, consider giving this a read.

So let's begin! First: who's calling Bashar Murad/Iceland "dirty"? Where am I getting that word from and why is it in quotes? That's because: it IS a quote! Buck wild, I know. This is a quote from the TikTok account AllThingsAdam.ie, run by the Irish Eurovision...fan? Podcast-haver? Idk, I'm not saying "journalist" because if I wanted to have a laugh, I would just watch the Unicorn edit I made a couple months ago. Did I share that here yet? Just in case, here it is:

Never fails to make me smile. Great edit, Me! Anyway, back on topic: Adam McCallig is a person with a TikTok account that has half a million followers, he has a podcast where he's interviewed Eurovision and NF artists, so he's definitely a "known figure" to a certain point. I can't sit here and say he's some random troll, y'know? So, in a TikTok that has since been deleted from his page, he accuses Iceland of being up to "dirty political Eurovision 2024 tricks." I created a TikTok where I briefly show this video, and here's a link to that! You can watch that for my condensed version of everything I'm talking about here, but this Tumblr post is for those who like reading what I have to say in longer form. Here's that video:

Since Adam's video is now "gone," I will do my best and summarize what he stated with whatever journalistic integrity I have. First: you hear him open the video with the word "dirty." So no one can say I'm putting words in his mouth -- no no, these are lifted from the source material, honey. Next, he goes on to claim that Bashar "has no connection to Iceland whatsoever." As much as Adam wants this to be true, it just...isn't?? Like, let's ignore Bashar's longtime collaborations with HATARI. Instead, let's look at him literally performing on the Songvakeppnin stage in the 2020 NF season:

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Additionally, the claim "Bashar has no connection to Iceland" rings very hollow not only when we know this claim is false, but it's not one Adam brings up about the many artists trying to represent a country other than their own in the 2024 NF season. Adam says he "knows that countries can let artists from whatever country represent them," but he hasn't made any videos about Marcus & Martinus (Norwegian) competing in Sweden's National Final. Tali (Israeli-born) is representing Luxembourg this year, and MEGARA (Spanish) are representing San Marino. "Foreign" artists representing any country in ESC is FAR from new, and if it were a punishable offense, Celine Dion would just have to settle for being Canadian.

However, as soon as Bashar Murad takes the stage and the colors of the Palestinian flag are visible, Adam is ready to take to TikTok and say "dirty political tricks" are at play -- before deleting it later, like I mentioned. In fact, not only did he delete it! Mere hours before writing this post, I used my second TT account to peep his page and he posted a video saying "One of these four songs should represent Iceland in Eurovision!" and showed snippets of four songs competing in the Icelandic NF Grand Finale, which takes place on Saturday the 2nd of March. However: there aren't four songs competing to win for Iceland. There's five. Which four did he show? The fours songs that AREN'T Bashar Murad. And yet, he's the one being dirty in all this? Adam, sweetie, the dirty call is coming from inside the dirty house.

Now, you might wonder if Adam has kept this kind of energy when talking about Israel's Eurovision participation, which at time of writing is still very much up in the air. But thing is: he doesn't. At least, not really. Adam has posted a video condemning the alleged song that Israel is trying to submit to Eurovision titled "October Rain." I won't go too deep into that -- please follow @/IsraelBreaksRules on Twitter for more details on this!! But basically, what Adam is attempting to do is play some sort of "political centrist" take on Eurovision, while simultaneously trying to say "Keep politics OUT of Eurovision!!" And at the end of his deleted video, Adam claimed that while "what happened in Gaza is terrible," Iceland is just as guilty for playing political tricks as Israel might be, and Bashar Murad's participation is just as bad.

Two things wrong with that statement, Adam. One: It's not what "happened" in Gaza. It's not past tense. It's on-going. It hasn't stopped. That's actually -- believe it or not -- WHY WE'RE STILL HERE. And two: JUST AS BAD?? REALLY??

If you watched my TikTok response that I shared the link to, you'll have seen the evidence I shared. But I wanna share them again just so you all can clearly see how the "political tricks" at play this year are not on the part of Iceland, nor would they be "just as bad." Where do we begin? Maybe we could begin with the fact that "Wild West," Bashar's song, has been spammed with negative reviews by anti-Palestinian ESC fans. This is mathematically observable when you notice "Wild West" has roughly THREE TIMES as many reviews as the other Icelandic NF songs on EurovisionWorld.com. You can check them out here and see the numbers yourself.

But it doesn't stop at bad reviews. Israeli ESC fans have begun a campaign to mass vote against Bashar, specifically for Hera Bjork, one of the four other competitors in Iceland's final on Saturday. This is really funny to me though because if Bashar doesn't win, it should totally be Sigga Ozk, right? GO TIFFANY!!! Anyway, I digress. A link to an article covering this voting campaign can be found here!

Not only is Bashar facing backlash, hate, and organized efforts AGAINST his participation, Israel is funneling money and resources into Facebook ads that look like this, claiming to shape the narrative:

...as well as filming "comedy" "sketches" like this "song" called...

*deep existential sigh* "Jews Pua" Link to that video here, if you can stand three minutes of awful propaganda containing just the right combination of shitty, easy rhymes and enough pinkwashing to put "Cops at Pride!" to shame. All of this should make it VERY clear to anyone observing this situation as a whole that the political tricks at play are NOT being done equally from everyone involved. Dare I boldly say: this shit is INCREDIBLY ONE-SIDED and we need to remind ourselves of the awful reality that is Israel's access to the money, ability, and audience of their "dirty political tricks" more so than Bashar Murad or Iceland ever could.

Lastly, let's just acknowledge the racism-shaped elephant in the room. Now, I as a white American am not here to play "Racism Police." That will never be the case. What I am about to say applies to the greater conversation, and it's not just an "Adam" problem. It's a problem we see happen when one (1) Palestinian decides to exist and write a song, and the way the world has been built around us conditions us to see that and scream "dirty political trickery afoot!!" Truly, ask yourself is this is "equal" in any way shape or form, as Adam posited. Adam and people like him will treat Iceland and Israel as equal, but that doesn't automatically make them "equal."

We are living in a world where Israel is currently being sued for genocide. That is not an exaggeration, it's just something we can all see and talk about. Israel is a country that has the money, platform, and bias of the most powerful countries of the world to not be held to the same standards of responsibility for the horrible things they're doing, nor is my own country being properly held accountable for PAYING for these things they're doing. Race is something used as a tool to identify oppressed peoples not just because it's discriminatory, but it tells people who aren't part of that group that people like Bashar Murad are simply political just by existing. Nowhere does Adam mention that Bashar and his song "Wild West" are about his journey as an artist having to leave his home and travel thousands of miles to the global "west" to even have a chance of representing Iceland (not Palestine, not Gaza, just Iceland) in Eurovision while the country responsible for the death of his people are facing MUCH less scrutiny from the Eurovision powers that be, let alone Irish TikTok accounts with re: shitty media literacy skills.

My final message to you is this: if you're someone paying attention to Eurovision and you maybe feel confused or overwhelmed by Israel, Iceland, Bashar, etc. etc. etc., here's what I want to tell you:

This is not an equal game. Iceland/Bashar are nowhere near on the same level as Israel and the money/access they have to GLOBAL levels of propaganda. Israel, in fact, verbally confirms how they want to use Eurovision to "shape the narrative" which is far dirtier, far more political than just the song "Wild West." Moreover, thinking that treating Eurovision as apolitical or that EVERYONE deserves the SAME level of EQUAL scrutiny only helps Israel at the end of the day. The things they've done, are doing, and hope to do are representative of tens of thousands of people they've killed in the last few months alone. Would you genuinely look at Bashar Murad trying to represent Iceland and say "Yep, these two things are the same"? My hope is that you wouldn't, but people like Adam clearly do.

Don't be like Adam. Don't play this weak-ass centrism card that ultimately helps no one and just makes it easier for people to shift blame, suspicion, or anger towards Bashar Murad. This is not the fight being had right now, and don't let it waste your time. Focus on what and who matters, which is obviously: the country doing genocide and wants us all to be chill with that.

PS. As a personal recommendation, "Wild West" and "Into the Atmosphere" are my two favs to win for Iceland, so def go gives those a stream. And while you're at it, let Bashar himself take you on a visual journey that might help you understand his message a bit better.

Much love you all. Thank you for being here. EuroQuision out.

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#eurovision #es #eurovision 2024 #esc 2024 #bashar murad #free palestine #free gaza #iceland #songvakeppnin 2024 #israel #euroquision #tiktok #twitter #Youtube

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