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#the album is called with her and every track has a female feature

things-about-cars-in-posts · 5 months

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favorite band/artist?

Sheesh. Complicated one.

You see, my music tastes are, to put it mildly, rather varied. I think it showed in my music recommendation post and the post that further explored one of those artists, but to further illustrate, my library includes:

Earth, Wind & Fire

New Kids On The Block's Jordan Knight's first solo single

Dubstep band Hadouken!’s Lana Del Rey cover

A mashup of Wham! and a fishing anime

A Japanese bilingual melodic punk rock band's two songs about bowling

80s remixes of Justin Bieber songs

A Japanese "punk ska and melodic hardcore band"'s cover of Scatman’s World

A 140+ song Beatles remix collection, featuring such gems as "Octopus's 3D Garden", "I Saw Her Yankin' There" and "Help!" (suspicious)

A eurobeat female duo of rotating Italian and British members’ Abracadabra-sampling track about falling in love with a banana

A remix of Azumanga Daioh’s Sata Andagi scene I retrieved from a porn site reupload

Moldovan folk punk band and folk musician duo’s collab about celebrating the reopening of a railroad

The soundtrack of Pictionary for the NES

A mashup of AVICII, Rick Astley and Chumbawumba

An 80s pop Linkin Park remix

Black Sabbath covers by The Cardigans (of Lovefool fame)

JT's solo debut

A Flock Of Seagulls (of I Ran (So Far Away) fame)

One (1) DJ Khaled song

A 2011 My Little Pony-themed song by then commentary youtuber

(And I beg each and every one of the people who read this list and thought "Okay that one cannot possibly be good" to hop in my askbox and allow me to prove them wrong.)

But let's go through bands and artists I've not posted about before.

Two Door Cinema Club Just out of statistics. I can prove I played I Can Talk over a hundred times and I can tell you any number under two hundred is underselling it. There is genuinely some problem with my brain that that intro slots into perfectly.

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Oh also all the rest of their first album this comes from is this great too, and if you ask me what a perfect album sounds like I will tell you it's not that far off their second album.

OK Go Now, I like the music. Actually, I'd left my two guitars alone for years until an easy OK Go song made me think "Oh, maybe I can play this" and realize that rather than -as I had prior- just play the music I'd been taught I could actually teach myself to play the music I was listening to, which snowballed into playing more OK Go songs and then it expanded and now I have a ukulele, a bass, a third guitar I need to merge with that bass (it's complicated), a fourth "guitar" (it's complicated) on the way, a Casio calculator/synth (it's complicated), a melodica, a launchpad and a kazoo. Whoops. But really, all you need to be sold on OK Go is see two of their videos. One to find out what they're like (and you're already good on that front because you have visited the internet ever and have thus seen Here It Goes Again aka "The Treadmill Video" aka what when posted to YouTube upon its CEO begging them became the biggest video of all time) and another to find out that no the first one was not a one-off fluke. I am serious, go click that link, it takes you to a playlist of their videos and each one is crazier than the last. I mean they played a song with a car. A song. That has a guitar solo. With a car. Have you seen the name of this channel.

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Ah, right, the name of this channel. I guess I have to say a thing about that car now. Uhhh this video was sponsored by Chevrolet to promote the Aveo which, despite being badged as a Chevrolet, like many of the more Europe-oriented Chevrolets was made by the automotive branch of Daewoo, brand General Motors picked up after the Daewoo conglomerate (then the second largest in South-Korea which may as well be called Samsungland) went bankrupt in '99 over almost $90B modern dollars in debt. Its founder Kim Woo-chong (because Lord knows the "woo" in Daewoo did not stand for "woo what a great car") earned a ten year sentence, but I feel they focused too much on the wrong guy. The REAL criminal is whoever penned Daewoo cars.

A good person doesn't do this on purpose.

Owl City I have too few of his songs, but I absolutely love how comically upbeat he is. He is so precious. If c: walked this Earth. I mean "Golf and alcohol don't mix and that's why I don't drink and drive / Because, good grief, I'd knock out my teeth and have to kiss my smile goodbye". Protect this man at all costs. Also one time I saw the Fireflies video after what must have been a good decade and you know when you feel near crying? I adored that song when I was a kid and I was right.

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Liquido European one-hit wonders - and not even "people know them just for one song", not even "people don't know them and just know the song"; I found you can tell people the name of their hit and they won't know what you're talking about. But hum the riff and infallibly, invariably any single person in my country (and, in my limited experience, the rest of Europe) will go "Ooooooh, that one". And to be fair, those guys did stumble on one of the most memorable riffs in modern history.

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Not saying this is a hidden gem of a band, I am sure some bigger music nerd would stamp a big fat "SEEN BEFORE" on all their stuff, beyond some enjoyable splashes of "I wonder how much of this is them leaning into it" cheese (yes, even more than that video) - but I've still got their whole discography including all the B-sides, because to me, so what? It's good music and I'll treat it like it. What's the point of praising "groundbreaking", "genre defining" works and then glossing over those inhabiting the ground they broke and making the genres they defined? When I eat bread I don't complain that it doesn't innovate or set itself apart from the rest of the genre, so as long as my music doesn't bore me why should those be problems there? I feel like people have a problem in general separating their enjoyment of a work from its artistic merit. I'm digressing.

The Beatles If you ask me "What's your favorite number of pant legs?" I'm not going to answer five because two would be cliché.

And now we get to the final answer, the real answer, in such a league of its own it deserves to be separated from the rest via a Read More.

I lied, this is under a Read More because it's an entire fucking dissertation. Your fault for asking.

Caparezza I've spent well over a decade of my life mulling over his lyrics to the point me and my ex-flatmate played this game where she told me a random word and I'd try to find it in his lyrics (e.g. the first word of your ask, "favorite", was used in the second verse of the sixteenth track of his sixth album, yes I am neurodivergent why do you ask), and still it happens that as I am going through my everyday life I happen to accrue some information and slam my forehead going "Oh my God THAT'S what he meant there". His songs are more layered, more deep, more thoughtful, more cutting, more witty, more clever than most prose you see around and still he manages to play with his words and rhymes with incredible dexterity.

Take his last record, Exuvia - actually, take the previous record Exuvia picks up from, Prisoner 709:

Its name not only introduces the theme of imprisonment, but also of dilemmas and juxtapositions, since the prisoner's number, 709, stands for the dilemma about the number of the record: it's the 7th in his discography as Caparezza, but the 9th if one also counts the two shit records he made under his previous name Mikimix (we don't talk about those). Its tracklist, indeed, while being as typical for him incredibly varied in topics (from religions to his affinity with Ludwig II of Bavaria to "I'm not [x], BUT-" types) is arranged as chapters of a journey through an imprisonment (The Crime, The Punishment, The Weight, The Psychologist, The Letter, The Visit, The Yard Time, The Torture, The Revolt, The Guard, The Infirmary, The Window, The Evasion, The Hiding) and associated to dilemmas - for instance, as the record is about his feeling imprisoned in his body and in his role, the first song -and first chapter, The Crime- is indeed Prosopagnosia (i.e. face blindness), a track about him no longer recognizing himself in the artistic reputation he built himself, with the dilemma being between "Michele", his name, and "Caparezza", his rap name. Oh, and if you also want a taste of the impressive wordplay, well, count the letters of those two names. Yep. Every single one of the 16 tracks is a dilemma is between a 7 letter word and a 9 letter word. Because of course it is.

So now, let's get to the last record, Exuvia.

Nah, the pop-up edition's cover fucks way harder.

That's more like it.

Exuvia is the exoskeletal remains left behind by ecdysozoans after ecdysis, i.e. when creatures like insects and crustaceans develop a new exoskeleton and crawl out of their old one, as this record starts from his escaping from the anguish compounded through all his previous records and through a deep analysis of his past, his self, his surroundings, his fate, condensing it all and moving on to a new self, a new birth, a new shell. (Understand how I feel when people say the greatest rapper of all time is one whose greatest record is called "Damn" because the songs made him go "Damn" and whose biggest song is "Biggie Smalls' Juicy but this time about me".)

Well, in the second track of it, about running away from the dire situation of hatred, decay and persecution described in the first track, he says, and I paraphrase,

I give it all up, I'm dying, I retreat - Caporetto plus Waterloo Dripping and smelling like my head was in a station's toilet- oh.

introducing the desperation and hopelessness of military defeats and immediately following it up with an image whose comedic nature makes a contrast so stark as to surprise even him while still, being a reference to the military's hazing and bullying, latching back to the line before. While the prose I represent it with is deliberately poor, the concept behind the words is brilliant enough that it would be a good line if it didn't rhyme at all. And yet the original lines rhyme for twenty syllables. TWENTY.

Thing is, you can be as clever as you want, but the underlying music, you know, it can't be clever, it can just be good or bad. One would think. And yet the music is not just good but full of clever, witty samples and ideas that don't just reinforce the track's mood but tie the instrumental inextricably into the lyrics' themes, like Larsen (the track about his tinnitus, which he calls by audio feedback's technical name of Larsen effect) using high-pitched synths and emphasizing cymbals, Prisoner 709's title track being 79bpm (I wager 709bpm was a bit non-doable), House Credibility's instrumental featuring intercom buzz and cowbells reminiscent of cookware, or, well, everything in Exuvia's second single. See, that song is about the choice he faces between the story of Beethoven, who despite all his challenges kept devoting himself to music until the day he died, or that of Mark Hollis, lead of Talk Talk, who despite all the fame peaced out to focus on his private life - and the entire instrumental is devoted to that concept: the verses' reference Für Elise, the chorus Such A Shame, and the bridge I Believe In You; and when you tun into the background choirs you find they are rhythmically repeating "I don't know".

You start to get a clue why there's three years between his records.

So if his songs are so fucking good, why is he not famous? Well, he is! Except for his first album which no one really noticed (fairly so in my opinion - while I like a few songs I feel he really got going in his second one), the following records did really well for someone with such dense content: his third record has been certified gold! And all the others platinum. Some twice. Never since the first one did a record of his peak under 5 in the charts, and he's got 8 gold singles, 3 platinums and a double platinum. And don't get me started on the shows.

(That's me in the background!) Hell, he's even been on the cover of Billboard! So why've you never heard of him? Well, see the word next to Billboard.

Yep. The man, Michele Salvemini, is an Italian born and raised and, like any proper Italian, doesn't speak a whole lot of English, so pretty much all the English you'll hear in his music are the handful of English features, like Michael Franti, DMC (!) and Spandau Ballet's Tony Hadley, with which he made a song about Italy's emigration crisis.

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Emigration that is also internal, from the underdeveloped, falling aparty and criminality-run south of Italy to where all the industries are, the richer and we-pretend-it's-not-criminality-run north. And since he's from Apulia, Italy's heel (his rap name in fact means "curly head" in Apulian dialect), he's made a song about its woes too, featuring the music of the tarantella, Apulia's traditional dance. (I don't know why y'all add an A in front. It's fucking "Puglia", y'all.) Here's an imperfect translation with a couple of helpful explainers to the asterisked terms over in the video's description.

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It depresses me every time I think about it that all the English speakers I know will never be able to fully appreciate his lyrical brilliance. But oh well. At least y'all can appreciate the music... so fuck it, have that song whose music I yapped about so much. You'll hear the choirs in the background say "non so" (I don't know)... and a bunch more Italian words (translated here for those on desktop who want to follow along).

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Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

#does it show #does it at all show #that you happened to tap into another one of my passions #music #chevrolet aveo #daewoo tacuma

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gerogerigaogaigar · 10 months

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Creedence Clearwater Revival - Willy And The Poor Boys

After three albums of progressively cleaner tighter production the boys of CCR decided to go and do one more sloppy style. While the main hit Fortunate Son still has the crisp production of their recent output the rest is closer to the swampy slop of their debut. There's a solid amount of funk influence in their blues rock and it makes Willy And The Poor Boys stand out among their discography. There's a solid mix of politically charged and party songs that makes it very emblematic of the CCR style.

Beastie Boys - Licensed To Ill

I've said already how I love the Beastie Boys. I think they are one of the best at their type of flow and on their debut they are probably the most focused they ever were. Now I do think that focus comes at the expense of a fun looseness that permeates their next few albums, but it does mean that all the songs are more fully realized. I imagine that if Brass Monkey or Girls had been on Paul's Boutique instead they would have been a minute long each but here they get to be some of the Beastie Boys most well remembered tracks. Also a totally weird thing to be able to say about a hip hop record but the guitar solo in No Sleep Till Brooklyn rips.

Etta James - At Last!

I've known the name Etta James for a long time but I've never knowingly listened to her until now. Her blend of traditional pop, soul, and rock actually caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting that kind of crossover energy from a female pop singer from 1960. The more rock and doo wop stuff was good but the more traditional pop/soul stuff was amazing. The title track and her version of Stormy Weather especially were amazingly delivered. James' voice is husky and rich, with a lot of toughness and it somehow works most beautifully with the more delicate songs. It gives them a sense of wavering confidence.

The Who - Tommy

On the face of it Tommy is an album about a boy who is stricken deaf, dumb, and blind by childhood trauma, experiences every kind of child abuse imaginable, and finally is cured of his condition only to immediately become an abusive cult leader himself and finally lose all of his followers when they realize he's a fraud. It's a lot and it's densely packed even as a lengthy double album. I find it to be very thematically interesting and, though I won't analyse it here, ideas about the cycle of abuse, a representation or Plato's allegory of the cave, and a condemnation of spiritual guidance in general are just a few of the things that I personally read into the lyrics on Tommy. It's a shockingly intelligent album from the band who once made a fake ad for baked beans. Musically this is also the most complex and mature thing The Who would ever write. Already a talented batch of musicians they show off harder than ever with Pete Townsend proving that he could arrange as well as any classical composer, John Entwistle pulling out the French horn on more than a few tracks, Keith Moon just completely obliteration the drum kit at every chance, and Roger Daltry successfully vocalizing the emotional depth of the story's various characters. As an attempt at real operatic formula it features an overture repeating motifs, and even a few interludes that could be called the rock version of recitative. It's bigger and more dramatic than any Who album before or after. It more than lives up to it's reputation and could stand to be more seriously analysed from a literary standpoint in my opinion.

Sleater-Kinney - Dig Me Out

Coming out towards the end of the riot grrrl scene of the 90s Sleater-Kinney's third album manages to be a little cleaner and more nuanced than their contemporaries but no less angry. They deliver a hard hitting punk adjacent brand of alternative rock that is aware of grunge but is very much doing its own thing. The feminist themes common to the riot grrrl movement are on full display and nuance is out the window. There's no time for nuance when you are raging against the patriarchy and as a bonus Sleater-Kinney are not one of the terfy riot grrrl bands.

T. Rex - Electric Warrior

Electric Warrior is probably the most important release for the glam rock genre. There's this hint of folksiness mixed with a glitzy sheen and those two things are somehow not at odds with each other. The lyrics? Damn this shit is horny. Marc Bolan was exquisite at expressing sleaze without making me feel uncomfortable. There's this combination of cheek and haunting atmosphere that leaves me with the impression that Bolan is singing about fucking to keep something scarier at bay.

#500 album gauntlet #creedence clearwater revival #beastie boys #etta james #the who #sleater-kinney #t. rex

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dg1010 · 2 years

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A Romance Story in NANGMAN.

When people say the name of the infamous genre “KPOP”, we always come to think about good-looking male or female dance groups with very cheerful rhythms. But the idea that “KPOP” could refer to a bigger picture of all of Korean music, such as rap or r&b, never comes to mind. While he is not part of any famous idols, he himself is an artist that has been popping off for a couple of years and especially after releasing his newest album NANGMAN. 19-year-old Seo Dong Hyun, commonly known as Big Naughty, released a track of 10 songs that portray a whole story of romance and what it means to be in love. The theme behind this album may seem a little cringe to some, but the music itself is done with passion, creativity, and hard work. That’s why I want to say that every song on this album is just really good.

Through this album, Big naughty was able to show his versatility by showing his skills through singing, rapping, lyrics, and so much more. Each song has its own different rhythm and vibe, which makes the whole album even better as it gives a wide variety of different types of music to listen to for his listeners. My personal favorites are good examples of how the album portrays distinct genres. R&B comes through the songs like “Hachiko” and “Lovey Dovey”, Pop rhythms in some of the songs such as “Romance Symphony”, and hip-hop come out through a few songs like “Period” and “Actor”. The music is not the only thing that makes this album so great.

One thing I love about this album and this artist is that he makes the music through his personal experiences. He shares it with his listeners so that many of them could relate to it and know that no one is alone. He shared with ENVImedia in an article, written by Vanessa Arias, called BIG NAUGHTY TALKS ABOUT NANGMAN AND HIS CREATIVE PROCESS stating “The rapper shared that “Vancouver,” one of the pre-released tracks, remains one of the most meaningful songs on the album for him… The track is deep, discussing an ex who left him to go to Vancouver and he’s stuck with the thoughts of their past relationship and the idea that he would chase her there.” When I look at many artists these days, there is always the main theme of getting rich, flexing their wealth, or how easily they can get with girls. When I listen to Big Naughty, one thing that stands out is his personal experiences within his songs. He shares his familiarity with the topic of each song while also following a trendy path of music.

These ideas of versatility and personal experience are great for creating an album. However, One minor thing behind this album is that I feel some songs that include a feature he could have done on his own and it would be a lot better. For example, “Hachiko” features three other people that do good, but I don't feel as connected with them as I do with Big naughty in the song. If he did the song on his own, I feel it might have been so much better. No hate to the features. This is a minor problem so it doesn’t really matter. Overall, this album is amazing and everyone should go check it out. Here's the music video for “Romance Symphony” if you want to give it a listen.

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#music #big naughty #pop music #korean music #romance #symphony #Youtube

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snowallison15 · 20 days

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The Best Way To Market Your Music Online

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heizelnutlatte · 2 months

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💬 Heize's 10 Year Debut Anniversary Interview

[YeSol Encyclopedia], the encyclopedia for female solo artists. The YeSol Encyclopedia contains stories of female solo singers from Korea making their mark on the world stage.

[StarNews | Reporter Ahn Yoon-ji] K-pop stars have traversed the globe, expanding the base of Korean popular music. Singers who initially targeted the domestic fans have gradually shifted their focus to the global market, aiming for the U.S. music charts, including Billboard. Indeed, numerous stars have climbed the Billboard 'Hot 100' chart, affirming the strength of K-pop stars. This situation has significantly contributed to the advancement of Korean music. K-pop, once confined to idol music, has branched out into hip hop, ballads, rock, and more experimental music, with artists breaking out of their molds to explore new challenges.

The most significant change has been among female solo artists. While female solo acts in the past might have centered their music around 'sexiness,' they now do not hesitate to showcase their vocal abilities alongside their performances. StarNews has decided to focus on these female solo artists. Now, in the year of the Blue Dragon, 2024, amidst the challenging music industry, we look into how these artists have managed to carve out their own paths and survive on their own.

The second artist featured in the "YeSol Encyclopedia" is rapper and singer Heize. Heize debuted in 2014 with the digital single "After I've Wandered A Bit" and was known for her hip-hop music. She gained recognition by participating in the Mnet hip-hop survival program "Unpretty Rapstar 2" in 2015, seemingly following the path of a female rapper, but in 2016, she released the digital single "Don't Come Back," showing a different image.

Since then, she has produced numerous hit title tracks, including "And July," "Star," "Don't Know You," "You, Clouds, Rain," "Jenga," "SHE'S FINE," "We don't talk together," "Late Autumn," "Lyricist," and "HAPPEN." Recently, she released "Stranger" with singer 10cm, showcasing her diverse musical spectrum.

In a recent written interview with StarNews, Heize shared her thoughts on her 10th debut anniversary and the journey she has taken as a solo artist. We aim to slowly unfold her discography.

- 2023 is coming to an end, and 2024 is approaching. As we welcome the New Year, could you please share a brief message?

▶ Hello, this is Heize. I'm truly grateful to be able to exchange New Year greetings with you all in 2024. You may be setting big or small new plans for this year, and I hope you find happiness in achieving them one by one. I'm rooting for you.

- You debuted in 2014, and this year marks your 10th anniversary. 2024 must feel special to you. Can you share your thoughts on reaching this milestone and, looking back on your activities, what moments stand out as particularly special?

▶ It’s really been exactly 10 years. Rather than just thinking, 'Wow, it's the 10th anniversary!', I was the type of person who lived day by day, but now that it's over, I only remember a few key scenes from the entire 10 years. Even then, detailed situations, words, and emotions became blurred. So now, apart from trying to achieve something, I think I should try to put my mind at ease every day.

When I first released a song called "Don't Come Back" after "Unpretty Rapstar 2," I think it was a very important and special moment for me. At that time, I was told that a hip-hop album should be released at this time to continue the Unpretty Rapstar image. I was too young to assert myself and didn't know much about anything, but I think I instinctively knew that the first song I released after the show would greatly affect my future direction. I don't know how long I could continue if I did something that wasn't me from the beginning, and it would have taken me a long time to come back with something that wasn't me. I'm still grateful for that choice because I think I was able to fully explore the music world I had starting with "Don't Come Back" in earnest.

Reflecting on the past, her appearance on Mnet's "Unpretty Rapstar 2" in 2015, followed by activities with "Don't Come Back," "And July," and later "Star," "You, Clouds, Rain," "Don't Know You," etc., helped her gain recognition, continuing with a series of breakup songs. When asked about the most memorable and regrettable activities during her career:

▶It's still vivid to me that "You, Clouds, Rain" rose to No. 1 on the charts. It's amazing to think about it again, and I'm thankful for everything back then. I'm thankful for all the rain that rained a lot at that time, for singing about the rain that I love, and for people to understand how I felt. But it's sad to see that I didn't try to express my joy at the time. It's good to have a high ranking, but that's not all. I think it's because I was already worried about my next album. Whenever we won No. 1, I told myself not to get too excited thinking, "Let's not be too happy. Let's think of it as a miracle that happened to me." But now, I think I'm going to think, "Yeah, that miracle happened to me. Let's do our best to be happy at this moment." But I can't go back now, it's regretful.

- Personally, I feel like your music has broadened its spectrum over time, initially focusing on breakups as a major theme. Do you feel your musical direction is changing, and what direction are you pursuing now?

▶ When a lot of breakup songs were being released, it was a time when my world had completely collapsed due to a breakup and was being rebuilt. Everything felt strange, difficult, and different because of that breakup, so it seems like I ended up connecting everything to my own experience of parting. As I go through life, there are events that influence me at the moment, and naturally, my interests and the texture of my lyrics change accordingly. If I were to experience a breakup with someone I love, a deep breakup song might come out, but I'm also apprehensive about it. Regardless, I want to continue capturing the many things I see and experience in life in my own words.

- A challenge for me was definitely "Vingle Vingle," released last April. There are various opinions, but "Vingle Vingle" opened up a new genre in Heize's music. Personally, how do you feel about this song?

▶ Reading this question to myself, I just laughed out loud. Just hearing the title "Vingle Vingle" makes me laugh for many reasons. It's mostly because it feels a bit embarrassing and shy. Until "Vingle Vingle," rather than focusing on the feedback from people who liked my new releases, I was particularly mindful of comments saying 'it's always similar.' The "Vingle Vingle" demo I heard during that time was really a new world for me, interesting, and the guide was great. Even though it was the same theme of breakup, I was excited to present a breakup song that could be played in a lively space, a breakup song that could wake you up. It seems to have woken people up in a different way, haha~ I think if another artist who could digest it better had sung it, the song might have done much better, so there's a part of me that feels a bit regretful. But since there are people who like it, I think of it as having given them a good song. That's enough for me!

- The EDM genre generally divides opinions, and it seems "Vingle Vingle" has received such responses as well. What are your thoughts on these opinions?

▶ It could be, or perhaps the musical direction people expect from me was clearer than I thought. I was moved reading the comments. The fact that people sincerely think about and write about Heize as an artist... I was surprised by how much they worried. Reading thousands of comments and heartfelt DMs made me think that I should continue to create and share what I can do in my own way, and I was able to focus entirely on putting myself into my eighth mini-album that came out afterward. I plan to keep challenging and changing, but not too drastically.

- I love your ballads, but I actually also enjoy your unique R&B and rap. Fans occasionally ask in comments for you to do R&B songs again. Do you plan to revisit this genre?

▶ I really love it too. However, the message I want to convey greatly influences the lyrics and melody, and recently, there haven't been many messages suitable for rap. Writing rap involves a different posture and expression. Lately, my messages have been too nice, it seems. Maybe I need to toughen up a bit. I'll definitely share it with you.

- In the music industry, where female solo artists are relatively rare, your popularity and topicality feel especially welcome. Having gone through tough times and now actively performing, do you have any advice for juniors or others walking the same path, in light of your 10th debut anniversary?

▶ I think it's important to take an interest in how other artists continue their activities, how they create music, and how they perform on stage. Watching them work hard behind the scenes to complete a piece of work and carve out their own paths through that work, I think I always need to ponder what my own thing is and which direction my path lies. What I can do well, what I like, what should be next for me... There’s always no right answer, but the absence of a right answer makes it all the more necessary to understand myself. I'm still trying.

- Female solo artists used to focus on being 'sexy,' but it seems their spectrum has broadened significantly in recent years. Especially you, Heize, have been walking a path that doesn't shy away from various genres, including hip-hop, R&B, and ballads. What drives your activities and what do you consider the most important point?

▶ I think it's important to be true to myself. If I could fool people into thinking something not true to myself looks cool, people would immediately notice when I try to digest something that's not me. Just like with "Vingle Vingle"...

- The major Korean holiday, Lunar New Year, is approaching. How do you usually spend the Lunar New Year? What are your plans for this year?

▶ I spend time with my family or, if that's not possible, I spend time alone. This year, I think I'll have a meal with my brother, work on some projects, and so on.

- With the New Year here, do you have any wishes or goals for this year?

▶ As it's a new year and it's been 10 years since I chose this path and walked it on my own terms, I want to take this opportunity to look back slowly and see if there's anything I've forgotten. While doing so, as always, I don't want to forget my duty and want to continue doing what I need to do. I don't have any grand goals yet. In fact, I had resolved to post a photo on Instagram once a week starting in January, but I've already compromised with myself to once a month. Instagram is too hard, even in my 10th year of debut.

- As you mark your 10th debut anniversary, I'm curious about any special activities or plans you have for this year.

▶ I think I need to have a discussion with my company. Not just concerts, but I want to create opportunities to meet and communicate with fans up close. I sincerely thank everyone who has been by my side, making it not so scary or lonely even when the night comes on the path I've walked for 10 years, and for listening to my music. I sincerely hope you all will be even happier this year.

Heize, often nicknamed a "breakup specialist" due to her ability to articulate emotions, has always been focused on self-improvement. As someone who takes to heart feedback about being "always similar," she demonstrates a grounded approach, selectively incorporating necessary elements to present better music, rather than being swayed by opinions. Listening to her music in sequence reveals that Heize, initially focused solely on the theme of breakup, gradually layers emotions to construct a solid narrative.

Love and separation are the most common themes in ballads. Listeners have been exposed to various forms of love over countless hours. Yet, what makes Heize's portrayal of breakup special could be attributed to her transition from other genres, breaking conventional molds. The unrefined emotions, detailed circumstances, and sometimes blunt expressions in her music resonate with the audience. It's intriguing to ponder what lies ahead for Heize, who narrates every story as if it were her own. Whatever that may be, listeners are already prepared to embrace it.

#heize #interview

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chrisryanspeaks · 6 months

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Zara Larsson Releasing New Album ‘Venus’ + Tour Dates

Today, multiplatinum chart-topping global pop powerhouse Zara Larsson announces her new album VENUS, set for release on February 9, 2024, via Sommer House/Epic Records. Pre-order/pre-save VENUS HERE. Riding high on her current single “On My Love” with David Guetta, Zara has also confirmed details of a spring UK and European headlining tour. Dubbed The Venus Tour, tickets will be on-sale on November 3rd via www.zaralarssonofficial.com alongside dates for Zara’s Swedish holiday specials, Honor The Light. It marks her first run of global headline shows since the pandemic. See full itinerary below and look out for North American live shows in the new year. A pop album fit for a goddess, VENUS is Zara Larsson setting her own agenda, in part by looking back on where she’s come from. First single “Can’t Tame Her” was a fierce, female-forward anthem that spent over 16 weeks in the UK Top 40, reached number 3 on iTunes, and number 1 on US Dance Radio: a journey all the sweeter given it was also Larsson’s first release on her own Sommer House label, following trailblazing deal with Sony which saw the still-just-25-year-old simultaneously take control of her entire recording catalogue. This summer Zara also dropped “End of Time,” a cinematic visitation with your younger self and a reminder to always follow that inner drive. Last month, Zara Larsson’s latest single with David Guetta, “On My Love,” was crowned the highest debuting record of 2023 at Dance Radio. Just four weeks later, the song has reached #1 on the chart, making it the country’s biggest dance record. Upon release, the song and video were praised by a diverse pool of media, from Good Morning America(who called it “emotional”) to People (a “banger” and “club-ready dance track about a valued bond built on unconditional love”), Uproxx (Best Pop Songs of the Week), Rolling Stone, V Magazine and much more. Recently, she shared the official acoustic video (watch HERE) and Niklas Dee remix (stream HERE). Tomorrow, she will share the official Felix Jaehn Remix (available HERE). Stream the original “On My Love” HERE and watch the music video HERE. See “On My Love” Below: With its elevated sound, eclectic style and unifying visuals, VENUS solidifies Zara Larssonas one of modern pop’s most essential stars. Honor The Light itinerary: 12/8/23 – Stockholm, SE - Cirkus 12/9/23 – Stockholm, SE - Cirkus 12/16/23 – Skelleftea, SE - Sara Kulturhus The Venus Tour itinerary: 2/16/24 – Manchester, UK - Manchester Academy 2/17/24 – Glasgow, UK - O2 Academy 2/18/24 – Birmingham, UK - O2 Academy 2/21/24 – London, UK - Roundhouse 2/24/24 – Paris, FR - Le Trianon 2/25/24 – Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique 2/26/24 – Amsterdam, NL - AFAS Live 2/28/24 – Berlin, DE - Verti Music Hall 3/1/24 – Cologne, DE - Palladium 3/2/24 – Milan, IT - Fabrique 3/4/24 – Zurich, CH - Komplex 457 3/6/24 – Prague, CZ - Forum 3/7/24 – Warsaw, PL - Towar 3/8/24 – Vienna, AT - Gasometer 3/16/24 – Reykjavik, IS – Laugardalshollin 6/21/24 – Dublin, IE - Fairview Park About Zara Larsson "One of pop's biggest and outspoken young stars” (The Guardian), Zara Larsson provokes and pushes pop culture forward, with enlightened and energized anthems that soar and seduce all at once. With every move, she continues to quietly make history and break records: her platinum-certified 2017 full-length, So Good, notably stands out as one of the most-streamed debuts on Spotify by a female artist ever. Zara’s growing catalogue boasts one smash after another, from “Never Forget You,” “Lush Life,” and “Ain’t My Fault” to Clean Bandit collaboration “Symphony.” Along the way, she has received awards and nominations ranging from the Swedish Grammys, BRITS and MTV EMAs to even gracing the stage of the Nobel Peace Prize. 2020’s second international album, Poster Girl, featured breakout hits like “Ruin My Life,” “Wow,” and saw Zara make further strides towards Pop’s top table. Launched entirely in lockdown, the project nonetheless saw Zara push boundaries, performing virtually for Roblox and hosting a viral live-stream show in partnership with Ikea on International Women’s Day. In the last year or so, Zara Larsson has been unleashed back into the real world: she played a sold-out Poster Girl European arena tour, scored a hit collaboration with Alesso (“Words” was named by Billboard one of the best dance records of 2022) before returning with brand new single, “Can’t Tame Her.” Conceived alongside close-knit friends like MNEK, MTHR, and Danja - plus choreography from Beyoncé collaborator JaQuel Knight - the track spent 16 weeks in the UK top 40 and aptly captures where Zara Larsson stands in 2023: “Can’t change her / Can’t blame her / Can’t tame her”. Recent track “End Of Time” and David Guetta collaboration “On My Love” further tease Zara Larsson’s upcoming third international album, with Larsson also confirmed to make her acting debut in Netflix’s upcoming movie A Part Of You in 2024. Read the full article

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audiofuzz · 6 months

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Zara Larsson Releasing New Album ‘Venus’ + Tour Dates

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nxmuzluv · 8 months

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“ there’s something in the water, babe. i know you’re addicted ”

SOMETHING IN THE WATER is the SIXTH studio album by PARK AH-REUM, released by JH ENTERTAINMENT. released on october 20th, 2023, the album features TWENTY-TWO tracks, including the title track “DARKSIDE.” selling over four million copies within its first week, it became the MOST SUCCESSFUL album for a female soloist that year. with the title track winning SIXTEEN music show wins, the album has gone on to be lauded as one of ah-reum’s best works.

— TRACKLIST

INTRO: SOMETHING IN THE WATER

DARKSIDE (TITLE)

LUNA (B-SIDE #1)

PUSH ‘N PULL

MOONSHINE (PRE-RELEASE TRACK)

NOIR (FEAT. BIBI)

WOMAN OF THE SEA

ALLURE (B-SIDE #2)

INTERLUDE: CALL OUT MY NAME

REWIND (FEAT. YEJIN OF ND2ND)

TOUCH

WILL YOU TAKE ME AWAY?

PEARLESCENT

BY THE MOON

WARNING

BREATHE HEAVY

MY ONE AND ONLY (FEAT. SUGA)

FIRE AND ICE (STING)

SAY YES, SAY NO (DANGEROUS)

MIRROR MIRROR

FOREVER

OUTRO: WE’LL MEET AGAIN

— STYLING

oh the styling this era was something else !

lots of sheer, flowing fabrics, distressed elements, lace, armbands, lots of dresses, lots of two pieces, and lots (and lots) of couture (mugler, vivienne westwood corsets, dior, ludovic de saint sernin,, treasure chest of a wardrobe mhm)

bc the way hwayoung had ah-reum in archive mugler for one of her stages,, like insane that woman works magic every time !

the styling was very free and almost simple, featuring a lot of matching pieces. it was also very “sirencore” and clearly took inspiration from the ocean and its aesthetics, as well as from classical art ! ah-reum even said that a lot of inspiration came from sandro botticelli’s birth of venus painting, as well as from ancient greek mythology such as nymphs and the nine muses !

shoes were rare to see this era sjwjejjs ah-reum mainly performed barefoot, and if she did wear shoes, they were either lace up heels, over the knee stiletto boots, or doc martens

and omg the hair and makeup ! the makeup this era saw a lot of light shades such as pink, white, lilac, and occasionally black and red, and there were also a lot of pearls & glitter used ! the hairstyles were very loose and wavy, and we got to see ah-reum with a “wetlook” hairstyle a few times !

lots of extensions were used, and a lot of ribbons and pearls were used in her hair ! hwayoung also painted bows on her face once shwusjjsjk

overall, the styling was phenomenal and we got to see ah-reum in an aesthetic she’s never done before !

— ERA HIGHLIGHTS

after 2 years the it girl is finally back y’all !

the way this album was so anticipated like ah-reum released façade in 2021, broke records, and suddenly vanished (well, not entirely skweijdsj) from the music industry,, and then in the meantime she gets married and has kids like woah !

she did some collabs here n there, but goodness gracious the people were hungry !

so when that pre-release dropped ? oh lord !

“moonshine” came completely out of nowhere, too like,, ah-reum tweeted “something’s in the water” mere hours before the release in august, and all of a sudden there was a new track out

and it was a hit ! garnered over EIGHTY MILLION views in its first 24 hours, topped every major korean music chart, and found itself at no. 1 on the billboard hot 100 !

critics adored it too,, everyone was calling “moonshine” her best track since “façade”

before the album’s release, ah-reum promoted “moonshine” on music shows, was on two variety shows (one in korea, one in japan !), and attended the mtv vmas and she performed !

it was literally ranked as one of the best performances of the night like iktr !!

however, despite the limited amount of promo, the track did win THREE music show awards !

,,and then, the album dropped

this cb was thee cb of 2023,, “darkside” saw over A HUNDRED MILLION views within its first 24 hours, and debuted at no. 1 on the billboard hot 100 (and stayed there for nearly 4 months !), selling nearly 300,000 units. the album also debuted atop the billboard 200 and the billboard world albums charts !

the b-sides “luna” and “allure” fared really well, too ! the former debuted at no. 2 on the hot 100, while “allure” debuted at no. 8

seeing the b-sides on k-charts was so. interesting,, bc at first “luna” was at no. 2, but it was later knocked down to no. 3 and replaced by “allure” wijsjwiwj also yes ah-reum did take up the top 3 spots all on her own !

ah-reum had a lot of creative control when it came to this cb, ofc. she wrote most of the lyrics, produced a couple of tracks, and had a hand in the styling

she was everywhere this era, too. like immediately after having kids she threw herself into work

like do you see how many tracks are on this album ? girlie was working !

in addition to performing on music shows, ah-reum was also a guest mc on m countdown and music bank for about 2 weeks ! she also had american interviews & performances, had variety show appearances (she was a cast member on running man again !), and had a cameo role in a k-drama after ages !

on knowing bros they literally had this woman in a high school uniform at 27 and she’s literally married with 2 kids but she was having the time of her life so !

and she was on with le sserafim, too <33

ah-reum even won 2 grammy awards,, like she won grammys already but still, big deal for a k-artist !

the tiktok challenge collabs at music shows were on beauties’ minds for weeks,, like we hadn’t got one since april of 2021 like those were cherished

speaking of tt challenges, ah-reum’s for “luna” was notoriously kinda hard 😭 its difficulty became a meme and she eventually had to post a literal tutorial sjiwjsjsjk but at the end of the day that was more publicity for the album so !

ah-reum posted a lot on her yt, weverse, and insta this era, as well ! there were a lot of daily updates and behind the scenes,, it was very cute mhm

towards the end of the era, jh posted this “album quiz” to ah-reum’s website, and my goodness msjwjsk

it was essentially a quiz to test the fans’ knowledge on the album’s storyline, but the way most of it was complicated lore wjshisks like beauties on twitter were confused ! it was truly the great bts test of 2022 all over again

ah-reum ended up getting pregnant again at the end of november, but she still performed at melon and mama !

her performances received such rave reviews too,, literally turned both award shows into her own concert like iktr

also girlie literally dyed her hair 3 times this cb

her hair at the start was a deep purple with lilac tips, before jh dyed it completely lilac. and then towards the end of the era, it was literally dyed blonde

getting blonde ah-reum twice this year feels like winning the lottery but please free her scalp !

overall, this era was too good ! like 2 years of inactivity really paid off bc everyone was all over this cb ! so many people called it one of the best cbs of 2023, ah-reum was having the time of her life, and it was just a really great era <3

#cece writes :)#kpop oc #koc #kpop idol oc #fictional idol #fictional idol oc #idol oc #kpop soloist #kpop solo artist #honestly this was just sumn i did for fun WIIEJSJS #will i make her a blog ??? maybe idk !!#i’ve just been planning this album for a hot min n wanted to do a post like this !#so enjoy this ig !

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popmusicu · 10 months

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The “disappearance” of artists nowadays.

There has been 2679 days without a Rihanna album and 2506 days without a Frank Ocean album. SZA spent 2009 without releasing a full project, and Kendrick Lamar started his last album stating: “1855 days, I’ve been going through something” which is the amount of time spent from his fourth studio album DAMN to his 2022 fifth one “Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers”. It seems like modern artists are really taking their time with the music they release, or maybe they realized that music is just one way to express themselves and decided to pursue different endeavors.

For example, the first artist to be mentioned in this article, Rihanna, since dropping Anti, her latest album, has founded different brands based on her image and lifestyle, such as Fenty Beauty or Savage x Fenty, dedicated to cosmetics and lingerie, which turned her to the wealthiest female musician and a billionaire, she also continued to act in Hollywood movies, and became a National Hero to her country of origin, Barbados.

Frank Ocean, even though he was close to releasing a shorter body of work during 2020, the pandemic stopped him, and it was canceled. Since his 2016 dual release of Endless and Blond(e), he became independent, leaving his label Def Jam and starting his own, A (also known as Boys don't Cry). After this double drop he went on to just release singles or be featured in some of his friend’s songs, until 2020 and the covid-19 pandemic that cancelled his planned tour and supposed single compilation project. That same year a tragic accident that affected his family made him go totally silent regarding music. This silence made every fan of him become very concerned about his future as an artist and his mental state. He reappeared in 2021 launching his own luxury jewelry company called Homer, claiming his hope is “to make things that last” and “set in stone”, since then, he has been really involved in his company, launching multiple collections and magazines to accompany them, but until now, apart from a freestyle on his “yearly” radio show and a controversial show at Coachella this year, there hasn’t been any updates on new music.

Kendrick Lamar, after reaching global stardom after his successful album “DAMN” in 2017, even receiving a Pulitzer Prize for its lyrical content, he was put in charge of curating a soundtrack for the 2018 Marvel movie “Black Panther”, that was praised by critics and charted at number 1 on the Billboard 200. He was at the top of the world, but still, he disappeared. Lamar resurfaced in March 2020 to announce that he was starting his own company, along with his best friend and business partner Dave Free, that was not a record label or publishing company, it was “focused on cultivating raw expression from grassroots partnerships”. A year later, the first album under his new collective released, “The Melodic Blue”, made by his cousin, Baby Keem, which features him twice, giving the world a little taste of his new style of rapping, but new music directly from him wouldn’t come until 2022, when he told the world that he needed therapy and for 1855 days he had been “going through something”.

The common factor between all these widely popular artists is that they’ve been more focused on making their own companies and trying to get revenue from sources other than music, some have been more related to mental health issues, like depression and the need to get away from social media in a world that relies more on it daily.

There are fans that feel entitled for more music from these artists, but they sometime forget they are humans just like us, with their own issues, even if they have more money than us. Just like Frank Ocean said on the closing track of his last album “Blond”, “I’m just a guy, I’m not a god, (…) let me run this b—ch”.

Álvaro Avello.

#Albums #submission

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horseterri · 2 years

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Drive soundtrack night call

#Drive soundtrack night call professional#

They make a great idea for a party in the 21st century! Don’t forget your classic car. So what is a speakeasy party? These were the days of the speakeasy party. Those were the days of the Roaring Twenties. Men like Hemingway and Scott Fitzgerald wore three-piece suits, derby hats, and fedoras. Sequin and shimmery fabrics, and stringed pearls of every length. hen Radelet's narcotic purr slides over the sparkling guitars of 'Healer' and 'Mask', that's when Chromatics excel.If you remember watching the movie, “Midnight in Paris,” you’ve seen the flappers in a speakeasy party during the 1920s.

^ a b Phillips, Nina (October 4, 2007).

^ McNally, Patrick (November 23, 2007).

Chromatics' loving reanimation of 'icy' '80s electro locates the broken heart beating below the digital surface, a suite of retro-futuristic yearning that's something close to timeless.

^ a b Graham, Andrew (November 16, 2010).

^ "Track Review: Chromatics 'Healer' | Prefix".

^ "Dusted Reviews: Chromatics – Night Drive".

^ "Chromatics – Night Drive – Review".

^ "Chromatics: Night Drive | Album Reviews".

^ "Chromatics – Night Drive (Vinyl, LP, Album) at Discogs".

^ "Italians Do It Better, Mail Order Store: Chromatics, Night Drive".

Īndrew Graham, writing for The Boston Phoenix, praised the 2010 remastered and expanded version of the album, calling "Circled Sun" a "newly unearthed gem" and stating that "In less capable hands, Night Drive 's parts might blur together into a soporific whole, but Chromatics don't let the production dominate". A negative review by Nina Phillips in Stylus Magazine called the album "poorly produced," criticized "Tomorrow Is So Far Away" for its repetitive structure, and cited "Tick of the Clock" as a "conceptual failure". Ross Hoffman praised how Night Drive "evokes widescreen opulence with a sonic palette that extends beyond the bedrock of synths, guitars, and drum machines to include touches of organ, strings, flutes, and so on, but it's always used sparingly, rarely outstepping the group's meticulously minimal, carefully controlled arrangements".

#Drive soundtrack night call professional#

Reception Professional ratings Review scores It was also featured in some of the numerous betas of " Need for Speed: Most Wanted (2012)" It has been licensed for commercial usage in ad campaigns for National Geographic, AIDS awareness, Miss America, Major League Baseball, HTC, Fox Sports, and many others. "Tick of the Clock" has been used in numerous Hollywood films, including Drive and Taken 2. Īlbum closer "Accelerator" contains an interpolation of chords from the album's title track. The guitar solo in "Healer" contains a musical quotation from Joy Division's " Shadowplay," from their 1979 album, Unknown Pleasures. " Running Up that Hill" is a cover version of the first track from Kate Bush's 1985 album, Hounds of Love. The words of "I Want Your Love" contain a reference to the song " 96 Tears" by ? & The Mysterians Accordingly, these opening two tracks, along with album closer "Accelerator," suggest that the album may be a concept album about a late night drive. It ends with a sample of a car driving off, and then segues into the title track. Opening track "The Telephone Call" contains samples from " Lady Operator" by Mirage and from Chromatics' own tracks "The Killing Spree" and "Let's Make This A Moment To Remember." It sketches out a plot involving a female protagonist who, after spending an evening at a nightclub, is about to drive home to meet her boyfriend. The album's title may be a reference to a 1985 single ("Night Drive"/"Time Space Transmat") by Detroit techno pioneer Juan Atkins. Guitarist Adam Miller and multi-instrumentalist Johnny Jewel had been featured on the band's previous LPs. It is the first full-length Chromatics album to feature singer Ruth Radelet and drummer Nat Walker. With this album, Chromatics made a drastic departure from their previously punk sound, as they pursued a new direction reminiscent of Italo disco. The "Deluxe Edition" restores five tracks that had originally constituted Side D of the album, but had been scrapped before the original 2007 release date due to technical problems and time constraints. A limited print run of the double LP was pressed on colored vinyl: blue for Sides A and B, and red for Sides C and D. The label reissued an analogue remaster of the album as a "Deluxe Edition" in 2010, on both CD and double LP formats. Night Drive (alternatively known as Original Motion Picture Soundtrack IV) is the third studio album by Chromatics, released on Aug on the Italians Do It Better record label.

#Drive soundtrack night call

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gerogerigaogaigar · 8 months

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Jay-Z - The Blueprint

Nobody in their right mind would disagree that this is Jay-Z's best album. Hova is at his peak in terms of rhyme schemes, flow, and confidence. But he's got one more thing in his back pocket that blasts The Blueprint into the stratosphere and that's amazing beats. The production team features a few names that you don't recognize: Bink, Just Blaze, Taskmasters. But Kanye fucking West brings the heat on Takeover, Heart Of The City, and Izzo (H.O.V.A.) and it's the latter of the three that wound up being the lead single and one of Jay-Z's biggest hits. The way that these beats seem to challenge Jay-Z to get even more creative with his rhymes and lyrics is apparent when you hear how he wraps verses around the Jackson 5 sample in Izzo. The Blueprint is one of the best hip hop albums of all time and honestly I think it really does belong in the top 50.

OutKast - Aquemini

The funkiest OutKast album and the one that took them to the top of the charts. The massive hit Rosa Parks shows off all the group's strengths. Andre 3000's complex rhyme schemes contrast with Big Boi's straightforward lyricism tied together with a funky hook and more than a little bit of country influence. The whole album is like that, but Rosa Parks is an exemplary song if you wanna hear what the peak of dirty south hip hop is like.

Bob Marley And The Wailers - Legend

Holy shit c'mon you already had Exodus on this list are you really gonna say that a greatest hits is better than that? Hell half of Exodus is on this fucking comp. I'm gonna start biting soon I swear to god.

Ramones - s/t

This album more than any other wound up being the blueprint for the US punk rock scene. Short, fast and stupid these songs are the perfect teenage rebellion. There is more vibe than meaning and Joey Ramone's vocals are bare comprehensible most of the time anyway. It captures the raw punk rock spirit of aimless rebellion against a world that is alienating.

Paul Simon - Graceland

Graceland may be a Paul Simon album, but it is anything but a solo effort. Every song on the album features significant contributions from a monstrous cast of both South African and American artists. Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes and Homeless heavily feature isicathamiya group Ladysmith Black Mambazo and band leader Joseph Shabalala shares writing credit on both. Bakithi Kumalo's fretless bass permeates the entirety of Graceland and lends a unique cohesive sound to the musically diverse album. The title track is a peak example of South African and American fusion, Simon seeking to make an mbaqanga track, got guitarist Ray Phiri. Phiri was inspired to emulate American folk and country based on the Graceland theme and the result is something that sits perfectly in between, not quite an American folk song and not quite a South African mbaqanga song. There are a diverse cast of non South African musicians here too, Senegalese pop star Youssou N'Dour makes an appearance and American acts The Everly Brothers, Linda Ronstadt, and Los Lobos get to hang. Graceland is an incredibly unique mix of styles, ridiculously catchy, unrelentingly beautiful. It is one of my favorite albums of all time. I listen to it on a monthly basis probably.

Prince - Sign O' The Times

I don't get why Prince isn't considered a queer icon. He changed his name to a symbol that was a mix of male and female gender symbols, his own lesbian band mates called him a "fancy lesbian", he cancelled an entire album because he was scared that his female alter ego was trying to escape and take over his life. Sign O' The Times has a song called If I Was Your Girlfriend. This is such a queer album. It's also funky and super fun and horny as shit. Prince is great.

Nas - Illmatic

East coast hip hop peaked with Illmatic. Nas engages in the tightest internal and multisyllabic rhymes without ever sacrificing clarity of purpose. The beats are sparse and reflect the stark subject matter. There's no bragging, it's actually much more pessimistic than that "Life's a bitch and then you die, that's why we get high, cause you never know when your gonna go" "I never sleep cause sleep is the cousin of death". The lyrics speak of a difficult life with no room for braggadocia. Not only is Illmatic gunning for GOAT of GOATs status, but it is also one of the most destructively influencial albums in musical history. Until Illmatic the most successful hip hop albums were the work of single dedicated producers, but Illmatic features a large production crew. The producers on Illmatic all work well together and there was a concentrated effort to keep the album cohesive, but all imitators saw was a laundry list of famous names and from them on hip hop production teams became bigger and bigger. So every time you hear a completely disjointed album where all the tracks sound like they belong on a different album you can thank Illmatic. Oops.

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory

Hip Hop and jazz are obviously highly linked genres, and a lot of hip hop artists use jazz samples, but only A Tribe Called Quest would get legendary jazz bassist Ron Carter as a feature. The interplay between rappers Q-Tip and Phife Dawg is pretty much the basis of A Tribe Called Quest's sound and they are at their tightest here trading verses casually and playing point with incredible skill. The production is probably the most meticulous since I reviewed Aja. Every sample has been scrubbed clean until there is no surface noise and the balance of melodic bass lines and punchy drums is unparalleled among hip hop records. The Low End Theory sounds perfectly clean and crisp, every element completely essential and placed perfectly where it belongs. It's an incredibly precise album and the production matches the tight and precise rapping.

Radiohead - OK Computer

Their sophomore record, The Bends, may have been an exquisite piece of alt rock but OK Computer is when Radiohead really started to flex their creativity. Stepping slightly outside of rock they experiment with some electronic sounds while still keeping the songs mostly fairly catchy. No one song is completely experimental or completely mainstream alternative. There's a balance here that is very delicate. Admittedly I think that the completely, unabashedly experimental Kid A is their best work, but there is something to be said for a good catchy hook too.

The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed

This is the best Stones album by a narrow margin. From the psychedelic anxiety attack of Gimme Shelter to the country rock of You Got The Silver to the heavy blues of Midnight Rambler this has the best variety of any Stones album. Keith Richard's blues guitar solos are the best they will ever get and Mick Jagger really stretches out his vocal chords on the aggressive Monkey Man and the deranged serial killer energy of Midnight Rambler.

#Jay-Z #OutKast #bob marley and the wailers #ramones #paul simon #prince #nas #a tribe called quest #radiohead #the rolling stones #500 album gauntlet

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yenahas · 2 years

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dropsofletters · 3 years

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avenue of tears

— summary: listening to the latest album of the living daydream that is the drummer jeon wonwoo isn’t quite the best idea when, supposedly, it’s written about an ex. missing him to bits, she decides to plug in her earphones, and get lost in the words written by him, for her, perfectly put together to describe what was once broken…but can now be healed.

— title: avenue of tears — pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader — genre: drummer!au ; podcast host!au ; friends to exes to strangers to lovers!au — type: fluff ; angst ; drama ; humor ; suggestive ; romance — word count: 19,796

For the first time in her life, she can say she is happy while having a sore-throat.

Well, there have been other good times in her life that have included such a symptom—the after-effects of a concert, the times in which she really believed the vocalists of the bands she loved would end up looking at her and falling in love, or when she screamed out of joy, whether on amusement park rides or from pure happiness. Having a voice is enough of a gift; saying and speaking out our thoughts, the most divine of talents that one can possess. Using that voice for the first time in her own podcast is a blessing.

Though, no amount of throat-clearing can get the staff backstage to open up some space for her to walk in. In some parts of her life, being talkative does not compare to being loud, and this is one of those moments she wishes her throat wasn’t dry and in the need for tea, simply to shout to the slow walker in front of her just so she can get to her boyfriend faster. Perhaps, feel the roughness of his calloused fingertips rub against her palm when they hold hands, and he gives her one of those lazy smiles that beg for her to give him a kiss.

The room has gray walls, and around four bands have gathered in the same space. She smells everyone’s deodorants mingling together, and she doesn’t know if the stench is favorable or she’d rather not smell anyone at all, even if it’s not an unpleasant smell. Masculinity exudes from every band, lacking the female character that should exist in rock by now, but someone’s bleached blonde strands of hair, long enough to reach that person’s waist, remind her that there is a representative of female power in this giant gig for small bands.

The vocalist of Wonwoo’s band.

The chopped strands of her hair are, thankfully, long enough to welcome the rotten pair of scissors she uses before every show, not standing split ends, and also not standing the way she calls out her real name. You see, one year ago, the vocalist would’ve been called Eunkyung, with pretty straight hair in chocolate brown, curves covered in small sprinkles of ink, sporting a little black dress of a nice day, but that’s far from the case. Now, Eunkyung has taken up the name Love, an ode to what she hates the most, cutting her hair like she cuts the men out of her life, sporting leather pants and chains falling from her shoulders, cheeks hollowed in absolute distaste of the place she finds herself in, but quite enjoying the bottle of beer she brings up to her mouth.

“Eunkyung!” She calls out again, waving her hand in the air but not getting a reaction. Instead, she stops on her tracks, the sole of her boots barely lifting from the ground as her eyes scan the room. Eunkyung stands out because of her hair, but it’d be difficult to find Wonwoo’s dark head of hair. “Love!”

With the bottle of beer perched up between her rosy lips, Love lifts her hand in the air to greet her, trying to call her over only to stop her ministrations. The little ounces of oxygen left in her lungs ask to remain on her chest before she passes out, her white boots probably dusty by the amount of people who have stepped on her.

Love moves in between the groups of people, pushing people away with a force that could barely be contained in her tall body, never once letting a single droplet of beer fall on the floor. Just when she reaches her, Love wraps her fingertips around her wrist, tutting her name out in a raspy tone, perfect for the edgy tune in the new band. “Shit, what are you doing just standing there? Could’ve gotten your shit stolen.”

Her hand absentmindedly cradles the back pocket of her jeans. Her phone is still there, thankfully. “Sorry, didn’t know I was dealing with prisoners and not with rock enthusiasts.”

Love chuckles at that, now much different from the person she used to be, tattooed up to her neck, flowers blooming on the thin skin. If she looks from close enough, she believes her jugular palpitates against the dark ink. “Here, they’re about the same.”

Once they reach the corner the band had taken up, she finally gets a glimpse of people she has met. In Wonwoo’s apartment last year, for example, when a list of names had been written on a whiteboard and each sounded worst than the last. A man with a burgundy and green beanie sits with his bass on his lap, thin legs parted and yet, seemingly thicker because of his baggy pants. His head is thrown back, as if the chatter around him doesn’t distract him from his thoughts, looking ahead at the ceiling as if there’s something interesting on there. She really does look up, just in case Hansol has found the secret to life in that damned white ceiling.

The bassist doesn’t seem to be paying attention when she directs the question towards Love. “What did he smoke?”

Love finishes her beer in one go, patting her hand against Hansol’s leg before taking a seat on it. The two childhood friends had been the ones to start this whole band ordeal—and to be quite honest, it’s all thanks to them that Wonwoo got the guts to be in a band. Love’s Midnight may not be doing quite well right now, but it will someday. “Vernon didn’t smoke a thing. If anything, I’m the one looking for a smoke.”

“Weed’s bad.” Hansol, or by his stage name Vernon, says from his spot as he finally concentrates on the conversation at hand. His brown eyes seem gentle, even when his dark eyebrows join in a frown. “You’re gonna fuck up your voice.”

“So what?” Love asks.

“We don’t have a vocalist, then.” Hansol continues, pushing her off his lap to put his bass back inside its case, rubbing his sweaty palms against his black pants. “And we don’t have anyone to back you up. My singing is not as good. Andy’s singing is shit and Wonwoo sounds mysterious when he sings, but put him on the front of the stage and he’s going to black out.”

At the mention of her boyfriend, she can’t help but feel a smile creep up her face. Wonwoo was supposed to only be her little cousin’s drum teacher, a little part-time job he had to keep the dream alive, but one of those times her aunt couldn’t make it, she was asked to drive the little boy to class. There, Wonwoo captured her attention, and just before she left with regrets, she had slipped a paper with her number onto his palm.

And he had called.

And now, seven months later, they’re there. Coexisting in the same world, uniting their loose threads, and living out of it.

Well, he’s not there.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” She asks, resting her hands inside the pockets of her jeans, and a little grin appears on Hansol’s face at the mention of his name.

“He’s—”

Hansol’s deep and tranquil voice cuts short when an interruption comes through in the shape of the shortest of the band, purple hair done a mess and yet, matching with the hickeys trailing up his neck, doing his best to conceal it with the thick choker around his neck. Andy, the band’s guitarist, whose innocent features bring him just about any lover to his side, thinking he understands them, listens to them…but he’s a player.

And a damn good one, too. “Twenty bucks and I’ll tell you where he is.”

“Twenty bucks and you shut up.” Her tongue is witty enough to reply, and the sound of familiar laughter stirs her heart alive. When her hands spread on top of Andy’s shoulders, pushing him to the side to look for Wonwoo, she sees him nearing them, perhaps accompanying Andy in the process, black hair falling upon his forehead in sweaty strands, framing his elongated face, rounded ears, enigmatic eyes and tender, thin lips.

He gets closer, enough to wrap an arm around her and make her feel the coldness of the chains on his leather jacket, as dark as the rest of his outfit, but she knows the red shirt underneath is the tank top she bought him not too long ago. “Don’t give him your money. He’s a scam.”

“Girls don’t say that.” Andy shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest and gently rubbing the hickeys on his neck.

“I doubt they get to tell you anything at all.” She answers, twirling on Wonwoo’s arms until he’s hugging her completely, his taut chest breathing in and out, meeting hers in the middle. “There’s only so much you can know about someone while having sex.”

“Listen—”

Love stands up from her spot to wrap her arm entirely around Andy’s shoulder, smiling wickedly at the people in front of her. “Instead of arguing with our two lovebirds and the reason why our love songs are good, why don’t we look for a blunt?”

“Be careful out there.” Wonwoo conquers, lifting one of his eyebrows as if to question Love’s actions. The woman simply chuckles, already dragging Andy away for her.

“The only difference between a cigarette and a blunt is social norms, Wonwoo.” Love complies, clearly talking about the smell of cigarettes that breathes out in the aftertaste of the cologne and mint in him. He picked it up not too long ago, and hasn’t been able to get away from nicotine since then.

Hansol, once again too lost in his own world, doesn’t seem to notice—or mind—when her lips meet his in one of those brief dances of excitement, a smile barely able to conceal itself on her face when she looks into his glistening eyes. “How was the gig?”

“Tiring.” He answers, tugging at the collar of his leather jacket. “Love insists we have to look edgy, but this make me sweat buckets.”

“It makes you look hot.”

A tinge of pink creeps up his ears, smiling widely when he moves her from side to side. “What’s with all the love today? You’re awfully happy.”

How not to be so when she’s with him? Awakening to the sound of his fingers pattering against the counter of his kitchen, mumbling out the lyrics of the songs he is always writing. Wonwoo is not only a dreamer but a dream, a sight to look at and a potion inside her stomach. If she could, she’d throw up hearts at the mere mention of him, but the impossibility only further explains her infatuation for him. Love, love is this.

“Well…” She trails her voice, just at the same time that her hands take place by his abdomen, toying with the fabric there. “Did you listen to the podcast today? First episode early in the morning. Not a lot of people tuned in, but twenty is more than nothing, right?”

His black hair covers the darkness that looms over his eyes, lips faltering that smile to instead part delicately. Even his body moves away at the mention of the podcast, little droplets of sweat intensifying on his neck. “T-The podcast was today?”

A sigh leaves her before she could stop it. Forgetfulness is not his thing, but it seems to be today. “Yeah. I told you today before you went out to practice.”

“Shit, sorry.” Wonwoo lets his hand hover on her cheek, lips leaning forward to join hers, but she can’t even purse her own to meet him, leaving him with her blank expression instead. “I went to the gym after practice, and then I was too busy to actually listen—”

“You decided to go to the gym instead of listening to the podcast I have been working so hard on?” Nights spent listening to her favorite albums, preparing topics and asking Minghao to help her achieve the best quality in sound. Publicity done just about everywhere, asking her close friends and family to listen. Twenty people had listened, and none of them was Wonwoo. Her boyfriend.

“It was a mistake.” He whispers, like the boyfriend he is, not forgetting to pour all his emotions out in the pout of his lips. Giving her another kiss, she wants to stay angry, let the pits of hell stay inside her, but his eyes glimmer as if he means it when he promises: “Maybe, next time I will listen, okay?”

Maybe. A relationship should not be gray; it’s either black or white, it’s yes or no, never an in-between. Never a maybe.

But she takes it, because Wonwoo is just the type to say things without thinking. His ‘maybe’ may mean ‘certainly’.

His ‘maybe’ may mean ‘I’m sorry’.

Or it just is meaningless. Not ‘maybe’ at all.

###

Pen to paper. Cigarettes to lips. A mess done person, or a person done a mess.

The press has met the man that she has loved for over eleven months, and yet, she feels like each article that gets out about Love’s Midnight just makes her know the people in the band a lot less. This thought crosses her as her feet come in contact with empty bottles of soda, thrown across the floor of the hotel room they rented for their first real gig. Wonwoo’s cigarettes have been his lover for the night, as well as his lyricism notebook, but Andy seems to be having other ideas in the cheap room next door. It may be just some hooker, but something in her gut tells her that the lack of Love on the afterparty gives her an indicator of who it may be…

The reaction is long gone when she closes the door behind her, sporting her best dress—the one Wonwoo always talked about, the one that had his eyes lingering on her legs a lot longer than necessary, unable to keep his hands off her waist whenever she used it. The attention from him was well received, and yet, it was lacking tonight. The lonesome yellow of the lightbulb in front of them flickers, her heels click against the tiles on the floor, and he doesn’t even pull away from his notebook, humming out the notes to the song he is writing. At least, he’s not the one with the hooker.

But, what kind of thought is that?

It’s not the kind of idea she’d normally have about Wonwoo. Her Wonwoo, all rock songs but soft heartened words. Yet, with each passing month of his newfound stardom, she sees him less. Feels him less. Talks to him in ways that feels as though he is a stranger, and not the kind that wants to meet her. Definitely not the interested strangers they were in the past, the reason as to why they fell in love.

The lighter in between his fingers basks the cream walls in a faint light, the first smoke of the cigarettes leaving his lips and then, he keeps his hand up, a little bit twisted to keep the ashes away from his notebook. She moves closer, the back of her thighs meeting the edge of the bed when she calls out his name. Nothing. Wonwoo feels like nothing these days.

There, in a pretty dress, and yet not of his liking, pushing the pink fabric to fit more of her body, like a woman in her honeymoon. Insecurity latches to each portion of her uncovered skin, clearing her throat to catch his attention as she rests her extended palm on his back.

The toned muscles seem to welcome her touch, but his face remains stoic, hair standing out in various spots, dark eyes packing worries inside his heart. “Wonwoo?”

“Baby, I’m busy.” Annoyance exists in his tone, though it’s almost imperceptible. These days, all his feelings seem to be this way—happiness is the same as sadness, as annoyance and worry. Wonwoo is just a blank canvas, and she can’t seem to paint him. “Can’t seem to finish writing this song.”

“Maybe, it’s just not a good song.” The words don’t come out in the way that normally would. He has been talking about this song for three days, maybe it’s about time he drops it. Maybe, it’s time for them to drop this strange silent treatment between them—

“What?” Finally, he looks over his shoulder, his lips barely wrapping around the cigarette before each blow of smoke is thrown her way with his words. “What do you mean the song is not good? You haven’t even heard it.”

“If you can’t write it, it’s because you’re not inspired for it.”

His eyebrows raise up at that, taking his notebook in between his finger and stomping his cigarette against the bedside table, perhaps leaving it for later. He turns on his back, on the verge of becoming silent again, when he stops tapping his pen against the notebook. “What do you know about music anyways? It’s not that easy to write a song.”

A laugh escapes her nose, because she’s not half happy at the man in front of her. “The podcast I have, the one you don’t listen to, talks about music and I have a minor in something music-related. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“I listen to your podcast.” Wonwoo defends, letting the notebook rest on his taut abdomen as he lifts his hands to rub at his eyes. “I just don’t have enough time to listen to you talk for more than an hour—”

Her legs can’t seem to stay still then, standing up from her spot on the bed and making sure to pull her dress as far as possible. Somehow, being looked at by Wonwoo at this moment feels absolutely horrendous. Earlier this afternoon, she would’ve loved to have his hands all over her, his lips mouthing the things he loves the most about her. Right now, he’s impossible. “Isn’t that what a boyfriend should do? Listen to his motherfucking girlfriend?”

“I listen to you, oh my God!” He throws his head back, covering his face with his hands before sighing. “Babe, you’re being irrational. You come in here and tell me my song sucks, and now you’re making this about our relationship?”

“Well, you were the one that told me I didn’t know anything about music.”

Wonwoo stops for a moment, uncovering his face to look at her with what seems to be despair. “Then, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Her heels click harshly with each step she takes towards him. “You can’t just say sorry like you’re bored. Saying sorry has to be meaningful.”

“That’s just how my voice sounds.” But she knows that’s not the case. Deep, tranquil, that’s his voice, but that doesn’t mean it’s not meaningful. That doesn’t mean he can talk to her in a way that feels as though he has never loved her.

“No, that’s not how your voice sounds—”

“Babe—”

“Wonwoo.” She closes her eyes tightly, kneeling to take the empty bottles of soda in between her hands. “Who are you and what did you do to the man I fell in love with?” The question is rhetorical and not meant to be answered as she continues: “You’re messy and uninterested, this is not—”

“Maybe, if you let me speak, I’d be able to tell you what’s wrong with me.”

“Oh, so there’s really something wrong?” Far too entranced in her anger, she crosses her arms over her chest. “Is it me? Am I the wrong thing in your life?”

“When you get like this, maybe.” Wonwoo conquers, standing up and taking the resting empty bottles of soda before sighing. “Hey—”

“No. Repeat that.”

“Give me a break.”

She takes him by his arms, then, his tank top moving with the motion as she makes him turn towards her. Tired eyes to tired soul. One for him. One for her. “You really want me to give you a break? Because I could totally leave you if that means you being happy.”

Wonwoo has always been a selectively silent man. His lips don’t part unless necessary. He loves being a listener, not a talker. She wishes he would’ve stayed silent that night, but he didn’t, instead frowning deeply as he pushed his body away from her. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t listen to me. So, maybe, it’s better if we give each other a break, don’t you think?”

She has to scoff, pulling her dress further down her thighs as it had ridden up, yet not once breaking eye contact with him. “Why call it a break? Why don’t we just break up and that’s it? Call it fucking quits so you can go fuck some other chick that actually listens to you, baby boy?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He answers, shoulders rising and falling as he gets closer to her. “Don’t talk to me at all if you’re going to be like that.”

“Well, tough luck. That’s just how I am.” Her voice drops a few octaves, pushing at his chest to get him away from her. His eyes seem to change, then, ever so present in his feelings, burning through him when he calls his name and tries to reach for her, but she is halfway through the room when his skin barely grazes her.

“Baby—”

“Don’t you fucking touch me. Don’t you talk to me. Don’t look for me. Don’t…” Her voice breaks then, breathing out slowly when her hand comes in contact with the handle of the door. “Don’t, Wonwoo. Just don’t.”

“Hey, sorry, you know I love y—”

“Don’t.” She whispers, loud enough for him to hear when she opens the door. Why is that, even when the air in the corridor feels fresher than the one basked in cigarettes in this room, she feels more suffocated when she leaves?

Right, because she never listened to him.

And he never got to talk honestly to her.

###

“Listen, you’re a podcast host. I think you should really leave the coffee aside and go for tea and honey.”

One of the biggest wonders in this world is how in hell Minghao’s blonde strands of hair seem to be soft even when he dyes it continuously. The other wonder is how such a sweet voice like his seems to have the pointiest of remarks just at the tip of his tongue. Perhaps, that’s why Minghao is the tech of her podcast, and not a host to be exact. He’d be far too honest about the newest releases in music. What she’d call ‘something different yet not tasteful’, he’d call it ‘absolute garbage taken out of the trash, eaten by a dog, and then thrown up onto the floor’.

But hey, that’s just Xu Minghao.

Twirling on his chair, he writes something down on their shared document for this week’s podcast, two years on the run and yet, doing better than ever. Thousands of listeners check up each week, either on YouTube or on Spotify, to tune in and talk about the newest music dropped into the world. Mostly rock, but she doesn’t forget some other genres if they catch her attention enough.

He runs his fingers through his hair, leaning back on his seat and parting his jean cladded legs, fixing the plain yet expensive t-shirt resting on his slender body before she responds. “Get on with your life, Hao. If I don’t drink coffee, I could totally die.”

“Stubborn as ever, I see.” Minghao tuts, lifting his cat-like eyes from the screen just as he clears his throat. “Your kidneys are the ones dying.”

“As long as it’s not my vocal cords, we’re fine.”

“You’re not going to die because of lack of caffeine. That’s just stupid.” Yet, his eyes keep concentrating on the screen, organizing both good and bad albums to talk about, maybe a sprinkle of singles here and there as not to make the podcast too long. However, just as the straw of her iced coffee meets her lips, Minghao’s face stands out in their office setup, widening his eyes at what he sees on the screen. “You’re going to die because of this, though.”

Exaggerations are not his thing. That’s why he is so poised even when the audio cuts off, or when her voice breaks. Nothing impresses him, nothing leaves an imprint on him, so her body moves to his side before he could completely finish his sentence. “Why? Why? Why? Why would I die?”

Minghao doesn’t let her look at the screen of his laptop, instead reading out the title of the article he read online for her. “Love’s Midnight has released a new album after their one-year hiatus. The drummer, Jeon Wonwoo, surprises with his songwriting skills in their new project: Valentine. The release date is next week and…” Minghao turns to her then, eyebrows lifted as he inspects her features. “Apparently, it’s an ode to a past lover.”

It’s been two years since she opted to never hear those names again. Love’s Midnight. Jeon Wonwoo. Even Eunkyung, Hansol and Andy had been completely eradicated from her thoughts.

Valentine, perhaps because they had gotten together on February, but what are the odds of Wonwoo actually writing a song about her? An album, at that? He had never reached out, not by hand, not by text, not by a single call. Wonwoo had dissipated after a few missed calls, as if he had given up, and it was for a cause.

“Well, we’re not talking about their album next week.”

Minghao shakes his head harshly enough for a few strands of his hair to jump at the motion. “We have to. Love’s Midnight has been huge for the past two years,” The lack of her in their lives must have been the reason of their success. All friends of hers, now nothing in comparison. “And with the departure of Andy and the entrance of lady-killer Hoshi into the team, we better have all the fangirls tuning in for our podcast.”

Andy. The innocent features, short height, the banter in between them. She had not even gotten to know he had left. “Why did Andy leave?”

“Ooh, messy stuff.” Minghao conquers, not one for gossip, but one for knowing it all. “Love and Andy were dating since the start, right?” Now, that’s not the story she knows—Andy and Love were pals for lust, but they were never really a serious thing. “They broke up. Andy departed because of how difficult it was to be around her, and that was it for them. That’s why the hiatus happened, but now Hoshi joined them.”

“Who’s that Hoshi dude?”

The tech turns to his laptop, writing down the name quickly on the search before an image popped up in front of them. Pierced ears, rounded cheeks and sharp eyes, all highlighted by makeup on his cheeks to make him glisten like the sun, the thick eyeliner matching his leather jacket and his pushed back hair full of gel. He seems to be blonde in that picture, but in the one next to it, his hair is darker, playing guitar on stage with Love, who’s singing in the microphone. Skinnier than ever, with her eyes hollowed out and yet, the smile never leaves her face.

“I see,” She starts, pushing her body away when she sees a glimpse of Wonwoo with his hands up in the air in the back, ready to smack his drums again. “We’re not talking about them, though. I don’t care about anything Jeon Wonwoo can write.”

But her heart picks up just at the mere sight of him. Would he be alright? His health, fine? His lungs still working perfectly or is he still in the way to addiction to nicotine? Does the loneliness still haunt him at times in the middle of the night, or has he found someone else already?

“Don’t be like that,” Minghao states, rolling his eyes at her. “It’s just an album, and you haven’t listened to their music in a while. It was two years ago, I’m sure it will be fine.”

“What if it is about me?”

The question haunts her, makes her feel insecure in a way that she hasn’t felt in a while. Maybe, she fears to know what he really wanted to say—the regrets or the acceptance, the things he felt. If it made him happier or sadder. If he, to this day, hasn’t been able to love someone equally as much as her, because she knows she can’t. No man can compare to the fluttering feeling that came with him. “It’s just a few songs. I think not all of them are about you. Besides, it can be any past lover…and I’m sure you weren’t Wonwoo’s first girlfriend.”

Not his first love, and definitely not his last. A sigh leaves her lips as she crosses her arms over her chest. If she spoke about his album, maybe she’d prove to herself that he was wrong. Music exists in her blood, she acknowledges it as part of her, and he can’t tell her that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about anymore.

“I’ll give it a listen once it drops out.”

With a dizzy smile on his features, Minghao claps his hands in excitement. “Well, look who made you agree to something for the first time in his life.” Sending his two thumbs his way, he chuckles. “This guy.”

###

Being the center of attention has never been of his liking. It’s not the thing Jeon Wonwoo is known for, but it’s the thing their publicist wants him to do.

Flashing lights end up all over him, makeup-less and yet, not caring that he is showing every imperfection on his skin. He cares about what he has to say, though, to take out the buried memories of a past love just for the sake of an album, or for healing. The documentary they’re doing about Love’s Midnight, however, is another ordeal he can’t seem to understand. Not quite feeling connected to the camera in front of him, the white background, the staff that gather as if they want to listen to him. They don’t.

Hansol is somewhere by the corner, getting his makeup taken off for his own interview—people want it to be realistic, or so they say. Somewhere around the room, Love is singing at the top of her lungs—not reaching those notes that had once been the point of her knowledge, but still sounding like an angel sent from heaven. Hoshi is the only one nearby, seated with his legs crossed, looking at Wonwoo in understanding. Not equally as introverted, but somehow capturing the essence of dread in Wonwoo’s soul.

He shrinks into himself, each curvature of his muscles hidden by his posture, though the tank top on him does nothing to conceal what he knows will get him compliments, but never too meaningful. He sends a smile to one of the staff members that passes by him, fixing the lights one last time and asking him to take off his glasses. He does, never the type to say no.

“So, Wonwoo…” The cameraman says from his spot, learning his questions like the palm of his hand, and no amount of preparation and knowledge could’ve prepared him for the question thrown his way. His mind knew it was going to happen, but much like a teenage student in high school, he didn’t prepare. “What’s this album about?”

Her.

It’s not a ‘what’, it’s a ‘who’.

It’s his February 21st, his little memory in a pink dress, his ode to the drums, the reason why he sometimes touches the piano in hopes of composing a song. The only smile he can’t seem to remember perfectly, from the shade of her lipstick to the way her lips felt against his. The little smile she gave him after their first kiss, the way she called out his name, the only ode he has been able to give to the world…his memories of her.

“It’s about love, heartbreak, healing. All of the like.” He says, clearing his throat soon after, only to watch the cameraman move his hands, instructing him to say more. His eyes close for a second, letting out a breath that mingles with an uncomfortable laugh. “It’s about someone I loved dearly. Someone I don’t want to forget.”

“What did you love about them?”

“Pardon?”

“What did you love about them?” The cameraman asks, and Wonwoo has to lean back on his seat to capture the gasp that was about to leave his lips. He was never one to say it much—those three words that would have otherwise made her feel better. She’s talkative, he’s not.

What did he love about her?

Was it the love that she made him feel? Was it the movement of her hips, the shape of her lips, the way she spoke about her issues as if the world was falling down on her? Was it her enthusiasm, her happiness—?

“That everything about her made me want to be a better person.” His head nods once, twice, trying to further convince himself that it’s okay that he doesn’t have her. She’ll always exist in his music, in his rhymes, in his handwriting as he gives another poem to her—another melody to cherish her. “She was the only woman I ever imagined myself loving for a long time.”

Yet, he can’t clean up the mess they made. Can’t return to the avenue they left abandoned because it had taken too long to get to their goal. With one last breath, he hears another question:

“Care to explain some songs to us?”

But the words never come to him. They didn’t back then, they don’t now.

###

Okay, an album. She has listened to thousands of those, maybe even millions. It shouldn’t be an issue for her to sit down in front of her computer, plug in her earphones, and just let the melody of Love’s Midnight songs fill her eardrums with absolute bullshit. Cheesy love bullshit that never happens.

But this is not yet another album.

This is an album about her.

Minghao could be right, though. What are the odds of Wonwoo actually remembering her, much more in the form of lyricism? This thought is what has her pushing her earphones inside the laptop, sighing deeply as she presses play. The introduction shouldn’t be that difficult to listen to, and the artwork is simplistic, something of the like of a sunset merging into artwork in its abstract form. It feels romantic, but it isn’t about her.

The first song changes it all.

The first track of nine has Love’s strong vocals, reaching her high notes like they are part of her voice, slow and steady with that edge of slow rock, a plea for a lover to trust them even when they don’t seem to be showcasing their truest intention. A fool, the song speaks about over and over again, blaming themselves for not being able to point out their realest feelings to their lover.

The bass is heavy on the second track, and Hansol—Vernon, in this case—hasn’t lost a single ounce of his talent to fame. Metaphors speak about Wonwoo’s growing love for literature, grieving the end of a relationship and cladding it in pride. A man who can’t seem to understand the finalization of his relationship, covering it with more wrongdoings, and yet, begging for another yesterday, another chance. Something that has her tightening her hand against her heart, listening to Love’s voice dragging feelings through the pits of hell.

The third track is the one she likes the least, and it’s the one that seems to be the most about her. Talking about smiles, laughter, reminiscent of times much happier and yet, mixing a sound that she would’ve never imagined from Wonwoo’s band. It feels like she is walking on the streets of Madrid, waiting for a lover, letting the Spanish guitar pull her in only to dizzy her. Far too happy. Far too difficult to understand with their bitter ending.

The fourth track feels like him, enough for her fingers to hover over the space bar to pause it a few times. Slow, steady, and the pain of the break-up is felt through every single note. Loneliness haunting, drowning and drowning him into this pit of nonexistence. Love’s voice seems to fit every feeling, and she wonders if it’s just her amazing way of portraying sentiments, or it’s common for people to go through so much pain.

Fifth track, and the echo of it makes her feel even lonelier in her room, leaning back on her gray bed and fluffy pillows to close her eyes lightly. Drunken feelings, it speaks about, a man in the middle of a party with the smell of smoke clinging to him, speaking his feelings into the microphone as if they come directly from his heart, remembering how his life seemed to be easier, much easier when it was simpler. The minimalistic whisper coming from Love’s voice indicating: “I’m good, what about you?” in such a broken tone has her sending a weak smile to the air.

She’s not half as good as he is.

Insecurities seep through the sixth track, and her back cracks by the time she moves again, wanting to hear this from up close. This past lover comes haunt him in his dreams, and he only wonders if they’re happy. The sixth track is far more commercial than the rest, reason as to why it doesn’t surprise her it’s the one, they dropped with a music video she has yet to see. The allegories indicate that this lover, maybe, has found someone else, and the thought alone makes them sleepless. Insomniac. Saddened.

Huh, wouldn’t even surprise her if Wonwoo was the one that found someone else. Each of her dates have ended in her going home without a single kiss, not wanting to have anyone but him.

The seventh track shows Wonwoo’s talent by the drums perfectly, upbeat and coming directly from the 80’s, Love doing her best to portray the meeting of two lovers and the immediate chemistry between the two. A pink dress is mentioned, and the only thing she can do is purse her lips together.

Fuck Xu Minghao.

Fuck him for making her listen to this motherfucking album.

Fuck that pink dress that she keeps in her closet.

The piano on the eighth track takes her breath away, far more heartfelt than anything they have ever done—far more mature than anything she would have imagined from Wonwoo’s little band. The fear of losing someone, one last goodbye, the speech through a break-up. It speaks about turning and twisting, about running out of things to say and saying the worst ones. Tears gather by her vision when she hears that female voice speaking all the pain, she has gathered in her heart for only four minutes. It feels like a lifetime.

Getting Wonwoo to sing for her was difficult. It’d have to come after long conversations, when he was really tired, or when she couldn’t sleep. His voice in the last track was unexpected, so much that she wouldn’t even be able to recognize his voice if only she had not listened to it for almost a year of her life, every single day. His deep tone breathes out words of wanting someone back, but not knowing if he should trust his heart or his brain. Starting slow and then building up to a pop beat, it’s a nice song to snap fingers to, yet, she can’t bring herself to do anything but stare at the screen.

He’d still try for her, he says. In some point of his life, or when he wrote this song, he wanted her back.

He’ll always want her back with him.

And it’s with that thought that she closes her laptop, breathing out harshly at the same time that she texts Minghao.

To: Hao.

I hate you for making me listen to this album.

Track number three sucks ass.

Yet, her fingers hover over the search bar, letting the line tickle the write surface with its glow before she is writing down his name. Jeon Wonwoo, but with an addition—girlfriend, she wants to know who this could be about if it’s not about her—

The first pictures that pop out break her heart in a million pieces only to deliver it across the world as a souvenir. Wonwoo is getting out of a party with some model by his side, long dark hair cascading down her back, a little black dress cladding her elongated body, shiny legs in display as a shy smile creeps up her red lips.

Want you back my ass.

Maybe, it’s this model he is missing.

###

Blue lights bathe his skin in its sinful glow, seated by the entrance of a bar. Their usual spot packs people as if they’re the box of cigarettes on his coat’s pocket, one long stick of nicotine dangling from his lips only to be lit up by someone else. Some of the people gathering around him, perhaps, or the femme voice that has been asking him personal questions for the past hour. Short answers have escaped him, but seeing how risqué they are getting and how uncomfortable he is, he can’t bring himself to care.

Tonight, he’s supposed to celebrate the release of Valentine, his newest album. The happiest night of his life, it must be, but it’s far from that. Droplets of champagne pour from the ceiling, cheers being heard as yet another electronic song plays in the background. Eunkyung is lost in God-knows-where, Hansol has embarked in a conversation about the universe with a group of college students, and Soonyoung is dancing as if he doesn’t have a care in this world. He probably doesn’t, and that’s the dream.

It feels weird. Earning money and success from his sentiments should make him feel better—narcissistic in a way that fuels his ego, but only makes him feel as though the headlines are eating him alive. With each person that nears him, he feels more faux. A product, nothing more, nothing less, enough to be dismissed when he stands up from his spot, blowing out smoke into the condensed air. Some bump his side, staining the expensive leather of his coat, but the conceptualization passes him by quickly. At least, he gets to feel something.

Footsteps are heard beside him by the time he opens the door to the bar. If he’s lucky, he may get to go to his apartment, smoke another cigarette, and head to bed quickly. However, just when the black, sleek door slides from his fingertips to close it down, the flashes of cameras attack his features. Each regret is highlighted by yet another paparazzi throwing themselves at him as they ask the same old questions. The only thing that people seem to wonder about him.

“Who was Valentine about? Please, tell us the details!” One of them screams directly to his face, the microphone grazing his bottom lip and making him stumble back. He tries to smile, but the beam falls down by his fakeness.

“Wonwoo, over here!” One of the shortest interviewers says, waving his hand in the air to capture his attention. “Was it about Eunji?”

Right, Eunji. His publicist would love if he simply said it was about her.

The woman comes in the shape of a goddess, and the tremor of her voice brought a distraction for one night. A distraction, compliments that are void, words that did not have to have meaning, and the frustration of not being able to move on. Eunji said she understood—she, too, had been going through some kind of heartbreak and the relief was needed, but each text that came after said events went directly through his head and towards the deleted pile. One night was enough.

Blowing the air of his cigarette in the air, his mind desires to give the paparazzi what they want. Be the good boy he has always been in a band of people who have stood out for their unique qualities, but tonight, when it’s about her and the success tastes like blood and iron on his tongue, he doesn’t want to be who he used to be.

Jeon Wonwoo, did everything to be one of the most well-known drummers of the year, and ended up alone in the process.

“It’s just for someone, let me be.” He whispers, pushing through the seas of people with his bodyguard trailing right behind him. One good thing comes from fame, but just as he is getting away from the bar, the clicking of cameras still following along with the words from the paparazzi, he hears a lively voice cut through the air with worry.

“Wonwoo, what do you think you’re doing? That’s bad publicity.” Soonyoung speaks quickly, brushing his blonde hair away from his face to showcase his reddened face. The honesty must come from being a bit tipsy.

“Sorry.” It’s the only thing he can bring himself to say, because he knows it’s bad publicity, but isn’t it bad enough that people have been speculating about the muse behind his album? And none of the suppositions are right.

“Stop smoking and look at me for once.” Soonyoung indicates, and Wonwoo parts the cigarette from his lips for a second, quirking one of his eyebrows as they walk together. “What is going on with you?”

“I’m about to become a million seller by exploiting my past relationship and I’ve been getting more attention than usual in the process.” The night seems to swallow each and every single one of his worries, leaving him with a sigh. “I think I’ve just had enough.”

“That’s what happens, dude!” Soonyoung conquers, as if trying to make him feel better. His arm wraps around his shoulder, moving him from side to side. “You’ve done something great for our band, and you’ve been able to let go of all those pent feelings.”

Ha. That’s something he hasn’t done at all. How stupid does he have to be to be in love with her when it all ended so wrongly? Besides, it’s not like she would’ve waited for him—he was a dick, and she has all the reasons to find someone much better. The thought has him putting the cigarette up to his lips again.

“I suppose.” He shrugs, watching a limousine pull up not too far away from them. Since when did he forget about the existence of taxis and started to be too rich for his own good?

“The publicists are going to be so mad at you.”

Wonwoo stops at that, looking ahead and back, ahead and back, not knowing if he should move forward and drag himself to the past. Was it easier when no one cared? Is it easier now that he has all he ever wanted?

Was this all he ever wanted at all?

“Soonyoung…” He says those words into the air, playing a smile into his features as if he feels it. He doesn’t. “Can’t we just get in the car and not talk about this for a second? Let’s talk about any other band but Love’s Midnight.”

Something in the blonde man switches, opening the door to the limousine as he nods with uncertainty. He doesn’t like being looked at like that—as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life…

Because it’s damn right.

But hey, at least he’s almost a million copies seller, right?

###

“Huh, I listened to an album this week,” Her voice drags with the continuation of her sentence, eyes trailing up until she meets Minghao’s, far too concentrated on the sound of her microphone, on stopping the echoes and making sure that those who tune in live do get to hear her properly. She has to muffle a laugh. Nervousness makes her sound stupid. “Well, duh, of course, I always talk about music and listen to albums…but I listened to a weekly favorite just last week.”

Each day has been worse than the last. The headache doesn’t leave her, finding herself humming the tunes to Love’s Midnight songs—that one song, the last track, keeps playing in her head as if she had been the one who composed it. Whatever. It happens. I’m sure most of the women in music who had songs written about them felt the same way. Maybe, Courtney Love felt like this. Could’ve been worse, at least Wonwoo didn’t pull a Lennon and wrote a song along the lines of “Dear Yoko”.

She fixes the beanie on her head, staring forward at the white doors of her office, the coldness seeping through her sweater, a shiver going down her spine. “It’s Love’s Midnight latest album, Valentine. You guys were recommending it a lot this week, wanted me to talk about it and all…” Her fingers start to play with the straw of her drink, trying her hardest not to take too many pauses. The podcast is live for some, after all. “And it’s here. I’ll talk about it.”

With the last ounce of sanity left inside her body, she takes a long sip of her drink, smacks her lips and starts pouring out her thoughts into professionalism.

“Track number three sucks. Sorry to anyone who is a fan, but track number three is the corniest, stupidest thing I’ve ever heard from them. No hate, just truth.” She lifts her hands in the air, watching Minghao lift his gaze to mouth something to her. Don’t, he says, and she remembers that was the last word she told Wonwoo. Fuck. “In all honesty, though, I liked the conceptualization of the album. I think that…uh…they could’ve added some spice here and there. Everything felt like a pile of heartbreak—”

The screen by her side lights up, showing up the live chat and the viewers speaking about the album.

Jeon Wonwoo wrote it for a past lover. He must be heartbroken.

Track number three is the best, though.

Finally, you’re talking about Love’s Midnight. Favorite band.

“But yeah, Love did amazingly with her vocals, contrary to what one would believe. She went to high highs and low lows, exquisite in her vibratos, that raspy tone of hers still captures everyone who listens.” Looking up at the ceiling, she swallows thickly. So much to say about nine tracks about her, and still the words don’t come out. “H—Vernon, he’s very good with the bass. You know, maybe our tech Minghao will agree with me on this, but Vernon is the one who makes the songs feel profitable, like it can be heard in a club, can be heard in the car, both adults and teens can like his sound. Definitely one of the pillars of the band, I think.”

Minghao nods his head from the booth, and she feels a little bit of warmth in the room. She’s not alone—if she fucks up, she’s not alone.

“Hoshi. Didn’t even know Hoshi was in the band until our tech told me, haven’t been really up to date with Love’s Midnight…” Because watching him play would only bring back the memories of the first time they met, the feeling of his skin tattered in tattoos under the weight of her hands, the tremble of his voice, the tender way he held her. Like she meant something. Like her words meant something. Until they didn’t. “God, his solos? He’s—I think in this era, in this generation of musicians, it’s impossible to stand out as a guitarist because there’s hundreds, thousands, millions of good guitarists. Haven’t seen Hoshi live, but I’m looking forward for the acoustic sets with his talent. Just from listening to him, I feel like he has real talent.”

Her eyes divert towards the screen, shaking a bit when she reads a question on her opinion about Wonwoo’s songwriting skills. There, she can imagine him sprawled on his bed, his notebook covering most of his face as he looks at her from the corner of his eye, sending a shy smile her way before venturing into a new world, writing her in it as if he cared.

Did he ever care?

“Ah…what I think about Jeon Wonwoo’s songwriting skills?” Saying his name out loud has her scrunching up her features. If she closes her eyes, he’s there, so she keeps them wide open. His voice calls her out—baby, baby, I didn’t forget you. “I think they could be better.”

It’s at this time that Minghao scoffs from his spot, shaking his head as he places his hands behind it. Liar, his pretty lips mouth at her.

“Wonwoo, whoever this album is about,” Me, she thinks, it’s about me and my stupid dumb smile when around him. My insecurities. My world. “I don’t know, it feels fake. Maybe, it’s just me…” Her voice trails for a second, shaking her thoughts out before sighing. “They’re good, they’re just not…you know, they’re not ‘album of the year’ worthy. He seems to be stuck in the same topic and I can’t judge his range if he’s only written about…one thing…you know, like—” Shit, she’s really digging her own grave right here. What is she supposed to say? That she liked it? “Like, yeah, we get it, you’re heartbroken…but, I mean, judging from what he has written in the album…he fucked up, too, you know?”

Maybe, she should just read some comments. Reassure herself that she’s not sounding like the one who had an entire album written about her.

Emo boy energy, doesn’t surprise me. Very Jeon Wonwoo-esque. One of them writes.

The drums were sick, though. Say hi to me, host!

People say it’s about Song Eunji.

Song Eunji. Model. Wonwoo’s latest known lover. The pictures flash before her eyes as she thinks about it. Maybe, it’s really about Eunji and not about her…

Why does the thought make her sadder?

“So, yeah, I’d give it an eight point seven out of ten. Favorite track is track number nine. Hoshi is the backbone of this band to me now. That’s it.”

Regret clings to her like a leech. Song Eunji. Jeon Wonwoo. An album. Failed dates. A broken relationship. Why is love always extra difficult for her?

###

“Come on, babe, lighten up.”

With rosy cheeks, her friend, Jade, speaks those words like there is enough space in this party for her to feel free. There isn’t, quite clearly, but Jade is on the brink of her youth, ready to mess up her long hair, get on some tables and drunkenly sing to the world, albeit a bit messily. Her family, all consisting of enormous classic musicians, rooted from the most intricate and exclusive of schools, would shake their heads at the sight of Jade, already rid of her shirt and practically dragging her body towards her to wrap an arm around her shoulder and keep herself steady. The bottle of champagne Jade had been drinking from is brought up to her lips, and she has to take a sip if she doesn’t want Jade to start whining in a high tone, able to break through the bass-boosted music in this club.

It’s Jade’s birthday, and Minghao is nowhere to be seen. He probably left early—her fault for trying to play matchmaker between Jade and Minghao over a year ago, but her apologies had never been enough for the awkward blind date she had set up for the two of them. If there’s one thing Minghao can’t stand is lying, and much more if it’s about his romantic life.

To be quite honest, she thought it’d be a match. Stylishly rich guitarist of a local band, Jade, and stylishly average tech of her podcast, Minghao.

Maybe, she was wrong.

“Shit, Jade—” She’s already taking off her jacket from her shoulders to drape it across Jade’s chest, who simply looks down at the fabric with a scrunch of her nose. “You’re on your bra.”

Jade chuckles sweetly, because inherently, she’s dulcet. The kind of girl that wipes your tears after a break up, lends you some powder after you throw up in a bar’s bathroom, and the one that just wants everyone to have a good time. Everyone including her. “Babe, it’s Victoria’s Secret. I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Everyone is going to see your nipples.”

“You know, it’s better for me to have two very healthy nipples than not have them at all. So, whoever wants to see, can see.” With that, her jacket is given once again to her, staring at Jade who brings up the bottle of champagne up to her lips, the pink liquid trailing down her cheeks and her chin. “Why are you here all alone?”

Because the music is shitty, Minghao is nowhere to be in sight, and Jade was playing a game of body shots not too long ago. College has been long dead for her since a while ago—and she doesn’t think she’d be confident enough to have someone drinking directly from her body.

Props to Jade, of course.

“Ah, maybe because I wanted to leave soon?” She asks, rubbing the back of her head to play with her messy ponytail. It had been sleek once, but being around this amount of people, dancing against one another, and trying to move through them while also avoiding anyone getting too close to her, was a difficult task that ended up getting her a bit riled up.

“Shut up!” Jade screeches, wrapping her arm around her once again and resting her cheek against hers. “Shut up, babe! You’re not leaving…anywhere…no.”

That’s the drag of her voice, the clear sign that Jade will be too drunk tomorrow, drunk enough for her not to remember if she leaves her alone here—

But shit, she can’t leave Jade alone. She’s shirtless, meaning that her Versace shirt must be somewhere on the floor, or covered in vomit, and she’s drunk. God knows what could happen if she leaves her alone.

“I’m not leaving you, don’t worry.”

“Yay!”

“But I should clean you up, you’re all sticky from the alcohol, Jade.” She replies, already making her way through the masses of people to find the bathroom. It must be by one of the corners, but she’s not too sure in this club. “Why did you drink so much?”

“Because—”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Just because.”

When the bathroom’s door is only a few meters away, she sees him. The song that is playing in the background is too robotic for anyone’s taste, but the one that plays inside her head is the one she mumbled to him before they fell asleep once.

‘Love of my Life’ by Queen.

Because if there’s someone that she loved in this world, in this hellish world that they dare call real life, it’s Jeon Wonwoo.

Closed eyes, head tilted back enough for his Adam’s apple to bob when he takes another drag of his cigarette. Nicotine is his lover for the night, while Love seems to tell him something angrily, fingers threading through her bleached blonde hair, dying at the number of products she puts on it, fried at this point. Wonwoo looks like himself, but he also doesn’t. She knows those black strands of hair, and how they curled against her fingertips when she tightened her hold on them after a kiss. Her mind recognizes those lips, now pink yet chapped, but when they wrap into an answer that blows the smoke into the air, he doesn’t seem like her Wonwoo. His eyes open, he stares at Love as he speaks to her, but Love’s eyes are already looking at someone else.

Eunkyung is calling out her name and there is nothing that seems to stop her as she stumbles away from her seat.

It’s at nights like these that she wishes to be forgotten. Get on a car, preferably old, drive until her feet hurt or until the gas runs low, wearing a thin jacket as she listens to classics. She’s tired of this new version of her life that she can’t seem to get used to. People that she thought she knew seem to be far too different now, with Eunkyung not existing when she reaches her and Jade. This is Love, the vocalist of Wonwoo’s band, with eyes so hollow she almost feels dead, and a mouth that wraps up in a smile that begs for a second chance.

Because everyone wants to go back.

But no one can.

“It’s been so long since I last saw you!” Love’s arms wrap around her to take her away from Jade, but her friend doesn’t seem to mind as she giggles mindlessly. Love’s hold is strong, calloused hands meeting her spine as she cages her face on her shoulder. There are tears there, an unspoken word, perhaps the need to feel like herself again. This is not Eunkyung. “Where have you been?”

“Somewhere. Always here.” She replies, pulling away and yet, capturing Wonwoo’s gaze in a single second. His eyes are already on her, twinkling heavenly in the pits of hell, and she has to give a step back to deny the gravity in between the two.

“Wonwoo’s over there. Let me call him over—!”

Little by little, she loved him.

And little by little, she shall erase the memory of him.

“No, sorry. Me and my friend are going back home.” She replies, wrapping her hand around Jade’s wrist, pulling farther and farther away from the people she had known the most. Yet, she doesn’t know them now. These people on world tours, selling millions of copies of their albums, making money out of their past…those are not people she had known.

And she doesn’t want to know them again.

Her feet bring her out of the club, and she swears she feels someone behind her, but with rushed steps the feeling becomes barely a ghost. Then, nonexistent. Finally, in the car she starts to think about it.

May the stars only know if it was him going after her.

###

With him, it always feels like one of both said something wrong. Or, rather, didn’t say anything at all.

What’s with her, this feeling of talking too much and saying too little? What’s the regret that overtakes her when her head leans back on her seat, listening to the song Minghao has put on per her request, played for their viewers and yet, not quite admitting to her most intricate of desires even on a verse? Her eyes stare at the ceiling, imagine him in front of his drums—imagine him calling her beautiful, holding her head, longing for her. All things she wants now, all equally as impossible.

A week since she last saw him, and she likes to believe Wonwoo went trailing after her. It’s the only thing that keeps her up at night—the questioning of reality and a dream. Maybe, he was never behind her—it could’ve been one of the partygoers, one of those drunken people that don’t know where to step, or it could’ve been him. Why does she feel her lungs relax against its own confines when she imagines him?

Because this is Wonwoo. The one who writes songs about her. The only man that she can’t seem to get over. Memories that come back all the time, because he’s in every single one of them. Wonwoo’s name spill from her tongue without knowing, his songs come to her in the shower without meaning to, and his scent is felt on every portion of her bed. He hasn’t been there in years, but it’s almost like he left only yesterday.

It was two years ago.

Two years, and she really should get over him.

Her eyes divert towards her computer screen, watching the messages pop in slowly before she sees a collection of digits. It’s a date—the date in which everything ended, continued by a text that has her mouth drying up.

I want to see you again.

It has to be a coincidence; it really has to be so. It could be that someone’s important date was two years ago, in that night in which everything ended. She sighs deeply, clearing her throat when the song finishes itself and she has to talk again.

“Well, now we have to talk about that album—”

Another message pops up, but it’s impossible. Wonwoo rarely listened to her podcast, and when he did, he never said anything.

Love’s Midnight album is about who you think it is about.

Please, let me see you again.

She wants to see him again, too. It’s that feeling that keeps her up at night—knowing he could be close, but never close enough.

“Ah, in case anyone comes across a bunch of messages in the chat about seeing me again. It’s just some ex.” She tries to chuckle, but her voice has long gone left for something duller, stranger, as if she can’t get used to talking when it’s about him. “Already seeing someone dude, sorry.”

Seeing who?!

Minghao lifts his gaze, his hat doing nothing to conceal the disappointment on his face. What can she do? Admit that she feels jealous whenever she hears those rumors about who the album is about? That she has looked at pictures of his possible lovers and yet, the feeling never quite settles well with her?

The last man she saw was a man of wealth—son of a record label owner, very much into music, yet not quite in a band or participating anywhere as a solo artist. Mingyu was a nice date; the kind that made her laugh, ate a lot with her, drank a good glass of burgundy colored wine with her…but he wasn’t a forever. Wasn’t even a kiss. Mingyu became a friend after, and then, she didn’t want to date again.

But it’s what she has to do. If Wonwoo can go date some Eunji, and possibly write one or two songs about her, she can date whoever…

Right?

Right?!

###

The documentary didn’t show exactly how Love’s Midnight came to be what they are today.

People love a good story. Movies are a profitable job because of that, and books keep on fueling fantasies for those who can’t live in a better world for the same reason. What happens is, if something is boring, people don’t care. There has to be sentimentalism; enough to move anyone to tears, or make them feel inspired. Everyone who has been legendary has gone through a story of pain, only to reach their best spot. There’s a downfall in between, but the point of union always brings the grand finale to life.

In reality, Love’s Midnight happened because of Hansol. Eunkyung, who now can’t seem to stand anyone calling her that name instead of Love, worked part-time in some bar downtown. The place was ratchet, with hidden call-people expecting someone to capture them for the night, some drunkards that got a little bit too loud, and the owner, who’d always thank Eunkyung’s presence, calling it Love’s Midnight whenever clients gathered around…because her drinks were that good.

Hansol said, as he happened to be sitting down in Wonwoo’s couch, that it sounded like a band’s name. Andy was there, too, partly rubbing the skin of his arm after getting his first tattoo, and also hardly listening—but it seemed to be fitting for him, to join their forces and make a group. Originally, Eunkyung was supposed to be a guitarist, but Wonwoo would not even dare step in front of masses of people to sing a goddamned song about love.

What did people who watched the documentary believe now? That it was because of Andy’s nickname to Eunkyung. Love, when they were lovers, and the midnights they spent together. It earns them more money, yes, but it’s also heavily exaggerated to have people asking for more. Andy and Love were one of the biggest couples years ago, after all, and people thirsted more and more for their little interactions, even if they were nonexistent at this point.

Luckily, Hoshi is now with them.

But people are now even more interested in the band, and the arenas for the concerts of their world tours have been selling like hot bread. The problem is that being in a van with his three bandmates gets more tiring with each and every day that they spend pretending to be people they are not. They have to be cool, edgy, attend parties when they are told to, drink alcohol like it’s water, talk like they think of themselves as the most mysterious in this world. He can’t even call Hansol his real fucking name without having one of their managers tug him by the arm and correct him to Vernon.

The news outlet displays itself on the television screen. Hoshi keeps strumming on his guitar, and Vernon doesn’t seem to mind as he lays sleepily on his bed, ready to knock off. Love is somewhere in the back with someone she met in the afterparty of the concert—some groupie that she can’t seem to get her hands off of. The worst part is that he can’t seem to continue writing this song for the next album, because a picture of him is displayed on the screen.

“Who do you think Valentine is about, Rose?” One of the hosts asks, moving her short hair away from her sturdy shoulders to look at her taller counterpart.

Rose plays with the strands of her bubblegum pink hair, smacking her lips together before she speaks up. “People say it’s about Eunji Song, but I think there’s a line of girls that say it’s about her.”

“Wonwoo’s totally a womanizer.” Another host says, fashionable in the way he dresses, one leg crossed over the other. “We have fourteen idols who have been linked with him, three models, one entrepreneur and all in the last two years. We don’t even know who could’ve slipped the public eye.”

Rose takes a sharp breath, her teeth clattering in a way that has Wonwoo closing his eyes tightly. Two models, and that was about it. Neither lasting more than a week. Neither meant to be more to him. Just two people that he happened to come across with, and helped him forget. Well, tried to, at least. “He has even more lovers than Vernon!”

“Vernon’s been with the same girl for a while. Maybe, he could learn a thing or two about a committed relationship.”

The first host chuckles at their words, shaking her head in the process. “Everyone’s into drummers. I think he just likes the attention.”

The lonesome tune of Hoshi’s old guitar stops playing in the background, and Vernon’s soft snores mix with the cars passing by. His fingers reach for the remote, turning off the TV before those words stain his heart even further.

“Want to talk about it?” The bleached blonde man in the room asks, resting his cheek against his guitar to pay his utmost attention to him. “Vernon knows. Love does, too. But you’ve never told me what happened with your Valentine.”

Maybe, Hoshi seems like the kind who doesn’t take anything seriously—but he does. His eyes glaze over as he quietly speaks into the night, but Wonwoo can only stand up from his seat, eager to lock himself in his own room and think of what exactly happened. He doesn’t know what’s going on inside his head. “It’s nothing special,” But it is. Wonwoo believed in a lot of things—that Van Gogh was the best artist of his generation, that knowledge is the best form of revenge, and that she was his person. The only individual in this world that could see him for who he was and still, gauged him to be better. “Just what happens to everyone.” He fixes his jeans then, hanging low on his hips when Hoshi scoffs.

“What happens to everyone?”

“…Just, falling in love and never being able to make it work.”

“That’s not your fault.”

He stops in front of the door that leads to his room, and he wants to believe what Hoshi says. Maybe, if she had understood him as an artist, they’d be together. Perhaps, if he had just listened to her, he wouldn’t have written an entire album about heartbreak. It was not inherently his fault, but partly, like DNA that splits in two and creates the atrocity of what they were. The beauty in the fallout. “I’m heading to sleep.”

A hand wraps around his thigh, caging him in his spot when Hoshi, with a widened gaze, asks: “Who is it about?” The gossip must’ve gotten to him, too. Secrecy at its finest made an entire festival for the world to enjoy. “Like, who out of all the women they say it’s about…the album is actually written for.”

“None of them.” Wonwoo conquers, pushing his body away from him with a dizzied smile on his face. “…And that’s all I’m saying.”

“Wonwoo—!”

“I’m not saying who it is about.”

“…Damn it.” Hoshi adds, finally leaning back on his seat and returning to his guitar, soon after playing a tune with a few invented lyrics: “Jeon Wonwoo has a stick up his ass…”

The door closes behind him with a swoosh, all thoughts of rationality building themselves down out of pure impotence. The room is far too tiny, and Hoshi will join him sooner than later when he finishes his little guitar rendezvous, but that’s far from the point now. With each step he takes towards his bed, the more he notices his phone. Changed it like four times in the past two years because of crazy groupies, obsessed people sending him threats and just because he could do so. He wanted change so much that he doesn’t need it anymore.

The bed welcomes his weight as if he had never left, molding to his every curve, bouncing at his mere presence. His fingers subtly reach for his phone, lurking through his contacts like a man searching for answers.

His past lover is taken, and he’s stupid enough to press down on her contact even when he’s not drunk. Not an ounce of alcohol clads his vision, his stance, and that only makes it more pathetic.

But, how could she be taken? If love’s not as easy to get rid of for him, it should be difficult for her, too.

The ringing stops, and someone picks up, though the voice that welcomes him is old, a femme to be exact, but definitely over her sixties. “Hello?” She asks on the voice, and Wonwoo closes his eyes tightly out of embarrassment. “Who is calling this late?”

Right, a sixty-something-year-old woman is probably not used to two in the morning calls.

But who is, actually?

Out of embarrassment, his thumb presses down on the red button and he’s once again left with his silence. This has to mean that he should stop—calling his ex-girlfriend, who said was taken, is not the worst thing he has done, but it’s outright pathetic. For a second, he thinks of texting someone else—a friend, a model, a singer, someone who clearly wants to pay attention to him, who wouldn’t mind having the star of the year talking to them about anything and everything but her.

Yet, his mind can only think about an old friend, and it’s not even a friend to start with. Calling him would earn him a few insults, so he opts to text the only direct line he has to what he wants to get back. The thread that could move him closer to getting an answer.

To: Xu Minghao.

Hello, Minghao. This is Wonwoo.

Jeon Wonwoo from Love’s Midnight.

Minghao probably recognizes him more as his friend’s ex-boyfriend, but hey, he doesn’t know what to say.

Still, he mentions her name.

To: Xu Minghao.

Do you have her number?

I really need to talk to her.

For a few seconds, he wishes he could dissipate. Of course, Xu Minghao probably has made his life, twirled in his bedsheets and perhaps, with a lover that fits him better than he ever fit his ex. He’ll probably get insulted nonetheless, knowing just how protective he is over the podcast host. It’s two in the fucking morning, Wonwoo’s not drunk, but he really wishes he was so he could have an excuse for being…

Stupid.

A dick.

From: Xu Minghao.

Are you drunk?

To: Xu Minghao.

No.

From: Xu Minghao.

Are you planning on getting drunk?

To: Xu Minghao.

No.

Her number is linked soon after, not without forgetting to add something else.

From: Xu Minghao.

Anything you say can and will be held against you.

I’ll know if you do something stupid.

Don’t fuck it up, dude.

The thing is that Wonwoo is a thinker. Immature at times, or most of the time, but really an overthinker. His dad always told him that going through life as if he’s in a game of chess would help him make right decisions. Count every movement as a step forward, but also a step closer to either winning or losing. Each and every action could cause the fallout of others, of himself, or absolute success. He doesn’t know where he stands as the phone rings and he awaits her response.

“Hello?”

That groggy tone, he has heard before. Whenever someone wakes her up from a nap or a deep night of sleep, her voice seems to be eerily quiet. It’s the only time he has heard her something far from perfect, not as knowledgeable as she is. Love-filled confessions were given at the peak of the night, when Wonwoo’s fingers would ghost over the delicate spot on her waist and she’d grasp his hand with her warm ones and say: I love you.

Muffled, silent, followed by sleep, and yet so meaningful.

“What do you mean you’re taken?” Wonwoo wants to say a million things. Say hi, and indicate that her podcast has only gotten better. That he’s sorry for not believing in her, or rather, not knowing how to show it. However, his mind is clouded with the image of her, holding hands with someone else, kissing someone else, being in absolute love with someone that is not him—and making it work. Egotistic as it can be, he is.

The bed ruffles, and for a moment, she’s silent. Too unlike her until she breathes out, much more awake now, surprised even. “Wonwoo, why are you calling me?”

The only time he has heard that surprised tone was after their first kiss. One would think that someone as beautiful as her would’ve kissed him with little to no reaction after, but his collarbones can almost feel the weight of her face at the memory. Her features hid away from him, the dumbest of smiles accompanied with a few giggles of her own. It was as if she had been waiting for him, and he had taken too long.

It’s not that different now.

“I—Uh, I needed to hear you. Hear from you.” Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say, straightening up his position on the bed and taking his pillow to slot his fingertips against the fabric. “I told you what I really felt and what I did, and all you do is ignore me.”

“I’m not friends with my exes, sorry.” She replies, and Wonwoo is about to retaliate, but the words have come back to her. Angry. Burning. Scalding. “And why in all the fucking hell would I have to tell you why I’m taken?”

“Because—” He wants to be honest for the first time in a while. With himself and with her. “Because we used to be friends before we were lovers, and I still care about the kind of person you’re seeing—”

“Do you really care?” The scoff that leaves her lips brings a frown to his face. “Go ask one of your models, or Song Eunji, about who they’re seeing and what they’re doing with their romantic lives. You don’t need to protect me from anything.”

Oh, so she knew about Eunji. “I’m not with any of them.”

“And you’re not with me, either.”

Wonwoo has to run his fingers through his messy black hair in order to grasp onto something else, or organize his thoughts before he goes absolutely insane. “I’m not.”

Silence. “So, why are you calling?”

“Because I can’t stand the thought of you loving someone else.” He breathes out, and before she could interrupt him with one of her pointy, correct, honest speeches, he bares his heart and soul. “…I’ve only been yours, I’m still yours. I want to know who it is that made you not want to be mine again.”

Again must not be in her vocabulary, and if he listens close enough, he can hear the change in her breathing, as if she starts to live life slower. “So, you date some model and I’m supposed to stay single?”

Fuck.

“I didn’t date her.”

“Then, you slept with her. Or various women, I don’t know.”

He can only stay silent.

“I know we broke up, and it’s totally okay for you to do that, but why would you ask me to stay waiting for you, when you didn’t wait for me either?”

“Okay, shit, sorry.” Wonwoo tries to reorganize his thoughts. He’s stupid. She wasn’t wrong when she said most men are stupid in the past, and now he has entered the spectrum. “I did it because it just…I just…I needed to get you out of my head.”

“By sleeping with other women?”

“Two.”

“Oh, two.” She releases, sarcasm thick in her voice. “What would you do if I said I have had more than two?”

Wonwoo closes his eyes, imagining her going on dates or perhaps, simply looking for someone in a bar. For men to sweeten her lips with a taste of their own, before treating her like less than what she deserves. It’s not what he wants for her, but it’s the same medicine he took. “It’d suck, but it’d be acceptable. We are not together.”

“Exactly.”

“…But who is it?”

“Who?”

“Who is the person you’re seeing right now? Out of your repertoire of people.”

She remains silent for a few seconds, as if she’s thinking too deeply, and yet, Wonwoo can’t keep his mouth from running. For the first time in his life, he wants to say a lot instead of saying nothing at all.

“No one.” She whispers into the dark night, the lullaby of his dreams coming directly from his lips. He wants to call it a second chance, but it just means solitude. “…Because unlike you, I wasn’t able to move on as easily.”

“I didn’t, fuck, I didn’t move on.” Wonwoo replies, laying on his stomach as he hides his face on the sheets. “I was just stupid. I don’t know how to explain myself.”

“Do so or I’ll hang up. Last chance to hear my voice—”

“I wanted to get over you, and I thought I’d do what most rockstars do. I’d just sleep with someone and feel powerful, like I don’t care…” His voice trails, eyes glistening when he lifts his gaze. “But I do care. I care about you.”

“…I don’t know if I should trust you.” The insecurity is palpable through her voice, as if she’s a star in this sky and she’s only getting farther away from him. Tiny, miniscule for her; big and bright for him. “Wonwoo, we didn’t understand each other then, when we were barely starting to be the people we wanted to be. How would we understand each other now that my podcast is doing the best it has ever done, and you have about every woman in this damned country wanting to throw their wet panties at you?”

Looking up at the ceiling, Wonwoo wants to say the truth. What he has always regret not telling her. “I’ll always try my hardest for you. I didn’t do it then, but I’d go back and do it differently if I could.”

The line cuts short after she hangs up, leaving him with no more than a sharp intake of breath.

###

The chocolate on the man’s ice-cream cracks under the force of his teeth, sliced nuts meeting the white substance in between—vanilla ice-cream, most likely, with a few lines of caramel. She had forgotten just how much Mingyu seemed to enjoy life, lips forever petrified in a smile as he looked around in the ice cream shop. Her delight has disappeared into the depths of her stomach, but Mingyu is on his second ice cream. Not a care in this world. Not a single wrinkle on his face to indicate he is feeling the weather a little bit strongly. He’s just eating, living, existing, breathing.

Jade tagged along, because something about her being in his father’s label and Mingyu absolutely needing guitar classes means that they had to ask her to come to their little ‘not a date’. Judging by the way Jade’s cheeks stain pink, and how she continuously play with the strands of hair, becoming a shy version of herself she had rarely gotten to see—unless they went to a concert and got to meet the artists backstage—, she thinks there is a reason why everything felt so inherently wrong with Mingyu, and with her setting up date for Minghao and Jade.

The young woman’s eyes glaze over when Mingyu smiles at her, and her fingertips reach for his lips to rub the chocolate away. Those stares, in between shyness and comfort, in the stage of not knowing what to say and yet, doing everything all at once—she lived that with Wonwoo, and she knows they’re probably less than a month away from calling it the truth.

So, she stands up, because if she can do something right in this life it’s making two people get together, even if she has to fake a few actions in the process. “I’m getting another ice cream. Want one, Jade?”

“We’ll share.” Mingyu adds, already putting his newly bitten chocolate ice cream up to Jade’s lips, and he barely ignores Jade’s widened eyes as she wraps her lips around the sweet and bites on the chocolate.

“Okay…” She whispers, lifting her hands in the air with her phone dinging in between her fingertips. “I’ll be right back.”

She doesn’t miss the way that Jade whispers ‘take your time’, before Mingyu joins her with sweet laughter.

Ugh, love.

It’s so motherfucking annoying when you don’t have it.

But, let’s admit it—it’s cute in its early stages.

To: Hao.

So, when I set you up with Jade…

From: Hao.

You mean: Worst idea you’ve ever had?

To: Hao.

Yeah.

Did you hate me for it because Jade’s not your type, or because you knew she’d be a better match for Mingyu?

From: Hao.

Jade denies it, but she’s always had a thing for Mingyu.

To: Hao.

Oh, tea?

From: Hao.

I guess.

She drunkenly admitted it to me once.

Well, initially she said she wanted Mingyu to tie her to a ceiling fan and make her spin.

But I continued to talk her out of it and she admitted that she thought he was cute.

And I’ve been working on building up her crush on him for a year straight.

To: Hao.

Trust Xu Minghao on finding the love of your life.

Upon approaching the counter to order her ice cream, she hears someone softly calling out her name. It’s a delicate voice, definitely not used a lot, as if the air could take away the words in one single swish. Locking her phone as she turns to the side, she sees a smaller young woman by her side. Probably on her teens, with black hair and red highlights, a band t-shirt representing the pinnacle of her youth. Long ago, before Jeon Wonwoo even existed in her life, she may have looked like this.

“It’s you.”

But she wouldn’t have said that to a complete stranger, lowering her voice to a deep whisper as she clings onto her backpack. The pins read Love’s Midnight name and logo, making her swallow harshly.

“Sorry, I don’t know you—”

The teen fan gets her phone out of her pocket, lurking through her pictures as she speaks. “You’re the woman Valentine was written about,” The lisp on her tone is ever-present, clinging to her every syllable as she shows the device to her, pictures with Wonwoo displayed one by one, moved by her finger to show even more proof. Her face behind important pictures of their first few gigs, a few messages in social media that she was sure she deleted before— “Fans have been going crazy trying to find who it was about, but I saw you in the pictures and decided to look you up.”

She has to take a step back. Fear overtakes her. A young fan could do anything they wanted with this information, and if she was able to find all that…this is not the normal kind of fan. With shaking fingertips, she clasps her phone against her chest. “Did you follow me here, kid?”

“No. This is dad’s ice cream shop.” A smack of her bubblegum fills the air, twirling her finger against the straps of her backpack. “…I just saw you here and I thought it was destiny.”

“It’s not destiny.” She speaks, curt and clear. “And also, I’m not the woman you’re looking for. Sorry.”

“You’re in all his pictures from the past—”

“We were friends.” And she doesn’t know why she’s explaining this to a teenager, instead of actually calling her father and telling him that her daughter is batshit crazy. “And it’s none of your business, ain’t it? If you really like a celebrity, you need to learn how to respect their privacy.”

“Everyone is looking for his Valentine, and if I am right with my assumptions, we’ll finally get to know—”

“What do you earn from it?” Turning around, she spares one glance at Mingyu and Jade, with Mingyu looking at them with a frown on their features. Confusion, definitely. “Whoever it is, that’s the drummer’s issue.”

“It’s you! It’s so you!” The teenager says, a smile on her face as she jumps on her spot. “The blog’s so gonna love this!”

Grasping her hand with force on top of the teenager’s, she sighs deeply. “Don’t do that. That’s wrong.” She starts, eyes raking over the room before clearing her throat. “One day, you’re going to be older, and you’re going to realize those people you look up to are as normal as you are. You don’t need to make them more important than they already are, for you or for anyone. Don’t let being a fan of someone take over your life.”

The teen looks down at their joined hands, eyelashes fluttering with the heavy mascara, chest going up and down with each breath she takes, deeper than the last. “Okay, sorry…” She whispers, pulling away from her. “I must’ve gotten it wrong.”

“Don’t worry, I was also a fan of some people in my time.” She shrugs, returning her gaze to her friends to give them a tight smile. Everything’s alright. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Alright, thank you.”

The problem is that only that night when she gets home, Minghao links her straight to an article, written fresh from the oven and reading:

Forty Women (+1 Unexpected Guest) That Can Be The Inspiration Behind Love’s Midnight’s Valentine!

Scrolling down with shaking fingertips, she prays to the heaven for her to not be in that list—for it to be another rumor, another person that has been wanting to be thought of by Jeon Wonwoo, but once she reaches spot number forty-one, her heart feels like it has fallen out of her chest.

Her name is on the forty-first spot.

41. Podcast Host, Communication Major, Music Minor: This one is the most unexpected, yet the newest guess. Fans were able to compile pictures of two or three years ago of Jeon Wonwoo and this podcast host. Not only that, but she seemed to be close friends with Vernon, Love and Andy! Ouch!

Personal pictures were attached under the small paragraph, tugging at her heart strings.

Isn’t that the pink dress Wonwoo always talked about? Or could it be Song Eunji’s favorite color?

As if things couldn’t get any harder…

###

This is Eunkyung’s little dream. Her tea party filled with reporters, cameras, flashes, cigarettes and bodyguards. Everyone says that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger—and he feels like he has become a weightlifter with how much he has coped with, leaning back on his seat as the reporters in front of them beg to eat them alive. Each question pointier than the other, each silence dragging on for longer than the last. The center of attention is not the album, not Hoshi’s guitar solos or Vernon’s enigmatic bass skills. The center of attention is that Jeon Wonwoo had fallen in love, and couldn’t seem to get his old lover back.

His friends are different, and so is he. It should make him feel better that the evolution is ever-present in their lives, but it isn’t. The man he sees projected on the glass of water in front of him is exactly who he would’ve never thought he’d become. His black hair is pushed away, forehead is full display, not a single imperfection left for the world to see as he’s covered in makeup. The red leather jacket makes him sweaty, but he still wears it. It’s a gift from Versace and there’s only two of them in the entire world; he just has to wear it, according to his stylist.

One of the reporters stands up from his seat, fixing the blue sweater atop his toned body. The long strands of his black hair give him a bohemian look, but the preppy outfit and the glasses make him look somewhat nerdy. He could definitely be a reporter in music, but Wonwoo doesn’t really give a shit, does he?

“Wonwoo, excuse me—” The man starts, voice as nasal as ever as he brings his recorder up to his lips. “Forty-one women have been linked to be your muse for the latest album, but only one of them stands out.” He already knows the answer. Song Eunji. If rolling his eyes was an option, he’d do it, but he’s been staring at the cameras flashing for too long and his eyes feel like they may give up on him at any moment.

“Sorry, uh, we said no questions about that.” Wonwoo leans forward on his microphone, offering a brief smile in order to keep it at peace. The least he wants is drama for being an absolute diva.

The reporter doesn’t listen, calling out her name as if he knew her. As if they had shared cups of coffee, mornings where conversations merged into memories, nights in which her tears couldn’t be stopped with memories of either really good or really bad times. “…Podcast host and communication graduate, whose connection with you was clarified by your fans after finding pictures from two years ago, seemingly in a relationship with you.”

Fuck.

Where was his publicist when he needed her the most?

He didn’t know that his fans were able to find such things. Each trace of his past with her had been deleted—for the sake of his band, and for the sake of forgetting her. “I won’t make any statements.”

“So, you do admit that you were in a relationship with her?”

“I said,” He presses his lips to the microphone, lifting his eyebrows in the process. “No statements. Meaning, no comment.”

“Ignoring my question is a confirmation, Wonwoo.”

This time around, Vernon is the one who takes place in the interview. “Ignoring his complaints about not wanting to answer is a confirmation of your lack of knowledge in reporting, sir.”

The masses in front of them go crazy, each asking questions louder than the last, penetrating his ears with absolute hatred. Wonwoo stumbles backwards by the time his body leaves his seat, shaking his head when his manager tries to reach out for him, make him sit down before he absolutely ruins his career. Yet, the only person he can think about is her. His fans had found her, the reporters knew about her, too. A life void of privacy simply because of him.

Once backstage, his shoulders tense, cradling his phone in between his hands and bringing it up to his ear. The phone rings a few times, but she always hangs up. Each and every call is ignored exactly in its beginning.

From: Jeon Wonwoo.

I didn’t tell anyone about us.

Tell me you’re alright, please.

Please, answer the phone.

Are you okay?

Why aren’t you answering?

I’m sorry for everything.

Regret bites at him, slices him to bits as he sits down on the sofa, hearing the commotion outside and yet, doing nothing to conceal it. Love would hate him for this, tension rising between them ever since he became the center of attention—but he never asked for this. If he could take it back to the time in which he had her, and Love’s Midnight only played small gigs in some bars downtown, he would.

And he’s been meaning to.

To: Jeon Wonwoo.

I know you didn’t tell anyone.

I’m alright.

I just need time to think of what I’m going to do.

From: Jeon Wonwoo.

I could book a hotel for you so you feel safer.

Paparazzi are going to look for you.

To: Jeon Wonwoo.

I’m staying at Minghao’s, don’t worry.

From: Jeon Wonwoo.

Fine, but take care of yourself.

To: Jeon Wonwoo.

Wonwoo?

He can imagine her, calling out his name softly as if she had never left him, as if everything was alright—

From: Jeon Wonwoo.

Tell me.

To: Jeon Wonwoo.

I need you to take care, as well.

I don’t want you to stress out over this.

From: Jeon Wonwoo.

I’ll take care, baby.

Before he could regret what he said last, she left him on read. As if she had heard him too, but decided not to listen.

###

The only beverage Minghao’s going to give her while staying at his place is lukewarm tea with honey. No matter how hard she tries to get him to give her coffee, it doesn’t happen.

The cars pass by the windows, stuffed by her breath that fans upon the clear glass. Her heart can’t stay still, much like her hands, fiddling against the other, waiting for the bad news. They have arrived—the world knows her, and past the comfort of Minghao’s place, she knows there are cameras flashing in front of her house. They had captured her before she got here, and after endless twists from Minghao, they managed to get to his apartment safe, sound and unnoticed.

Each and every insecurity is highlighted by the cameras. The fact that there had been someone else after her mocks her—tells her that people are just going to end up comparing her to those after her, or even before her. Ghosts that never existed in Wonwoo’s life, too. Some may be taller, some more petite. Some may have a clearer tone of voice, others may be unable to speak in anything other than profanities. Some may kill it on the guitar, and some may kill for a guitar. Everyone in Wonwoo’s life has been so different and yet, she’s the only one with an entire album written about her.

It’s winning the feeling of feeling unique that makes her feel less like shit. Wonwoo cared enough about her to write a million apologies in the form of notes, for him to pour his entire heart out in a guitar, a set of drums, a piano, a voice, the bass—all inspired by her, they rotate around her like the constellations around the universe. The smile she misses had dissipated with the memories of them, and she wants to bring them back. Fuck two years, more than six hundred days, because time is just a concept we don’t understand.

“Hey,” Minghao’s hair is not disheveled, put-together like he’s about to go over the runway with the newest pajama collection from, probably, Louis Vuitton. His body leans against the doorframe, wood against his soft skin, looking at her with worry as she sits on the bed of the room in Minghao’s apartment that he doesn’t use. “There has to be some good to this.”

“Yeah?” She asks, tilting her head far enough for her forehead to rest against the window. “Tell me what it is.”

The tech moves closer until he is in front of her, delicately kneeling in front of her before patting her leg. “This could bring potential listeners to our podcast—”

“Or girls that will hate me because I’m dating their rocker fantasy. Minghao, get real.” Her voice isn’t meant to sound so sharp, but it does. Her world shatters while Minghao can only see from up close, first row, even.

“Don’t think about them. Think about you.”

“What am I supposed to think about?”

“What you want out of this. If this is only a sign from the world to just get in contact with Wonwoo and clear things up. His career, yours, your relationship—” Minghao is speaking too fast, fingers fiddling with his own hair before sighing. “And if you’re not going to do it, I am. I can’t keep seeing you haltering your life because a relationship didn’t work. You are the one that needs to get real.”

She pushes his hand away then, crossing her arms over her chest to shelter herself. “Well, hear me out, you haven’t been in love, but I have. It’s damn fucking annoying when it doesn’t work, and you think that’s the only man that will ever get you, know you, feel you like he does. It’s not the same when you imagined your entire life with a man and he’s suddenly taken away from you. He changes. Twists. He’s not the same anymore, but you know that deep within him, there’s that man you love.” Her chest shakes with every breath she takes, and Minghao takes this time to step away from her. “And you wait for him. Wait for the day he realizes that you never meant to make him feel bad, and hope that he never meant to say the words he said to you. You don’t know what regret is, but I do—”

“Just mend it.”

She wishes it could be that easy. “And then, what?”

“Why do you always have to think about the future?” Her eyes inspect Minghao’s features, as if pulling away every thread of his enigma.

“Because the future is always happier than the present, ain’t it?”

His hand hovers over her shoulder, as if he wants to touch her, shelter her, but he doesn’t. Instead, Minghao smacks his hand against his side, looking for his phone before speaking up. “It’s up to us to make our present happy, too.”

The only response he gets is the sound of her sipping on her tea. Bland tea that Minghao loves, but doesn’t keep him in the room as he closes the door behind him with a thud.

For some moments, she can only look ahead. The cameras follow her, and it wouldn’t surprise her if she closes her eyes, only to awaken to the world trying to get information about her—a picture where something sags in her body, or her pimples are visible, or the stress marks around her face become wrinkles. However, even sleep seems to be out of town today, and she can’t do much but watch some movies on TV. Let the world decide for her again. The Notebook. Then, she couldn’t quite look at the screen without tears on her face.

When sleep welcomes her, it doesn’t stay for long.

It’s like the culprit that opens the door to the room, closing it behind him with an accidental bang—like the way he left. When her eyes can finally clearly see the outline of him in the dark, Wonwoo becomes a living being after years of trying to erase him. Dark hair pushed away from his face thanks to the droplets of rain that had coated both his leather jacket and his black t-shirt. His boots squeak against the flooring when he moves, stopping whatever force brings him closer to her. Eddie The Eagle plays in the background, but no star has ever been as bright as him. As the twinkle in his eyes when he breathes out his name as if he had never forgotten the lullaby in it. As if, for some reason, she’d always have a taste of that tongue and those lips, even when they are nowhere near or over hers.

Proof that love exists beneath him, over him, in him, is when he asks: “Are you alright?”

She could say no, or even just confirm it. Her words could turn into lies or truths, but they decide to stay in between. With him, saying too little or too much is granted to be a loss. “…I could be worse.”

Wonwoo lets the jacket fall on the floor with a thud, and before he could part his lips to say anything else as he nears her, she asks:

“How did you get in?”

“I was hiding in some hotel downtown, when I realized I just couldn’t leave you alone through this.” His voice is gentle, barely above a whisper when the wind keeps blowing on the windows, rain pattering like droplets of paint. “So, I called Minghao, and he told me he’d leave the door open and I just could get in.”

“No one followed you, right?” Worry piles in her expression when mirrored in his starry eyes. The music of their love has lulled to a weak piano tune. They fell, lifted themselves up, only to be pushed to the ground again.

“I made sure no one did.” And the weight of him falls on the edge of the bed, the gray bedsheets wrinkling under his wet presence, leaving an imprint of him. A memory as strong as the ones she holds of him. “I’m sorry this is the way we ended up meeting again.”

Chances, figures in percentages that we don’t expect. We hope for them, and rarely get them. The chance of meeting Wonwoo again was lost thanks to his lack of privacy, but it would a lie if she said she hadn’t been worrying about him all night. In the edge of the bed, biting at her nails, wanting nothing more than to reach out for him.

Who loves you now, Wonwoo?

Who loves you more than I do?

Is it the world? Your fans? Your bandmates? Is it someone else?

Have you been loved at all while I have been gone?

“It had to happen someday,” She whispers into the night, bringing her knees up her chest, taking her coat off and tossing it his way. The cotton material meets his hands quickly, draping it over his body as if the tears that had been dropped in the same garment manage to warm him up. “Not the way I expected it to happen—”

His lips quirk up in a shy smile, shivering with happiness and glee, or perhaps from the coldness of the room. “You expected it to happen?”

It’s her time to shut her mouth for a second, thinking of the next step. “…It’s one of those vague daydreams I have. What would happen if we met again?”

“And what did you think was going to happen?”

“…That I’d try to run away.” She replies, and his smile falls at that moment. Yet, she doesn’t want to lie to him. “But if you got close enough, I’d start thinking of your hands around my waist, or the little kisses you used to press to my hands when you held them, and I wouldn’t be able to keep myself away from you.”

Wonwoo gets closer, like a wanderer trying to land on his preferred island. Swimming through their insecurities, the issues that pulled them away— “I like that.”

“You do?” She asks. “I think I sound stupid.”

“…Love’s like that.” He shrugs. “I took the stupid decision to write an entire album about you, but here’s the thing: I don’t regret it.” His words condense every single bit of coldness inside her chest, letting the tremble of his voice awaken the senses that never left her, loving him to death. “If writing a song about you is a sin, take me to hell.”

Kicking him softly on the leg, she chuckles. “Metaphorical as ever.”

“I like to read.”

“I know, you liked reading more than talking to me.” There, one of the issues of their relationship arises.

“And you don’t know how many books I have wished to un-read just to hear you talking again.” He replies, sighing soon after as he plays with one of the threads of the blanket. “But that’s life. I make bad decisions, they bite me in the ass, and then, I try to mend it.”

“And how are you planning to mend it?”

His arms extend at that moment, taut muscles contracting against the wet shirt. “I offer a hug for the night, if that’s alright.”

She wants to say no, but her body welcomes his embrace, feeling his strong chest pressed against hers, the curve of his spine, the way his scent always seems to be there—so warm, so his, so memorable, and yet, unable to feel as strong as a perfume. It is as though the scent of him drenched in rain makes her feel better, not quite as cold as in that bed alone, even when her skin clads itself in goosebumps. Her heart thumps with so much force that he probably feels it against his waist, in the way he leans back and cocoons her into place. She can’t look at him, just because she knows herself, and she’s one centimeter away from falling.

“It’s what I need.”

“Good.”

Zero point five centimeters away from falling.

Then, his breathing becomes tranquil, and his lips rest atop her hair.

Zero point twenty-five centimeters away from falling…

Zero point seventeen…

Fallen.

###

She knows he is still in that apartment when she hears his fingertips drumming against the counter.

You know, that’s also one of the issues of their relationship…the one they had two years ago. Waking up to the sound of Wonwoo playing whatever ACDC song on their kitchen counter wasn’t a pleasant noise in the past. When she’d go to the bathroom, phone perched in between her fingertips, she’d feel the rhythm thrumming through the tiles, interrupting her precious time of privacy. He’d do it before going to sleep, when bored, when watching a show but on her legs. It’s one of those things she’d ask him to stop doing, but as her eyes open and she comes face to face with the opened door, she feels safe.

Because Wonwoo is there, and that’s more than she could ask at this moment where her name is imprinted in every magazine. Her hand looks for her phone, and for a moment, she wants to stop. God knows what most of the pages she follows on her Instagram page must have written about her—gossip sites that she is not proud of following, but does it to have topics to talk about in her podcast. Whatever. She’s a nobody, there is surely one or two things about her—

But when the light of her phone casts down on her with horrid pictures of her going through the seas of paparazzi to get out of there as soon as possible, she feels shallow.

She’s not a podcast host.

Not Wonwoo’s ex-girlfriend.

But Song Eunji’s rival.

Comparisons, one after the other, from physical appearance to the ultimate statement coming directly from Eunji. Some messages that could be understood as a simple song lyric, if it wasn’t from Wonwoo’s song itself, displayed on a throwback picture of the two of them. Finished, with of course, as much class as the model can have on an apparent drunken night, when she writes down on her caption—

Shout out to the man who writes an entire album about me and yet, can’t last more than four minutes in bed. Love you, Woo.

The laughing emojis after surely don’t settle well in her stomach.

She has to put the phone to the side to think about what bothers her—Wonwoo being with Eunji could be it, but it could also be Eunji taking the spotlight that does it. Maybe, it’s just the fact that she’s involved in all of this, covers thrown away from her body as she goes towards the kitchen, only to watch her best friend and ex-boyfriend seated face to face. Minghao, peacefully drinking from a cup of warm tea, and Wonwoo making conversation as he plays whatever difficult song he can’t seem to get out of his head.

It’s the fact that she hates it—this feeling that tells her she’s proud of being his muse, but in secret. It’s the fact that, all this time, she’d rather have him than anyone else—words be forgotten, actions be damned, only at this moment when his eyes meet hers again, and he dares say:

“Good morning. Slept well?”

How not to think of the fact that, after pushing him to the bathroom to get him to change into warmer, drier clothes from Minghao’s closet, she ended up falling sleep on his arms? That being in silence felt comfortable when around him? That healing is not quite complete when she can’t have him?

“Better than I expected.” She whispers, moving over until she is closer to him, inspecting his features before breathing out softly. “Eunji said the album is about her. People are going crazy over it.”

Wonwoo’s features soften for a second, head thrown back when a groan escapes his lips. “It’s not—”

“I need you to tell me why you wrote an entire album about me.” Her eyes don’t close, honesty overtaking her when her hands ball to her sides, breathing controlled, world stopping just for her to listen to him.

Wonwoo’s brown eyes shake, looking over to Minghao as the dullest shade of pink takes over his face, bathing him in an enchanting glow. “To forget about you,” He says, though he laughs at his antics a bit soon after. “Didn’t work out.”

“Why did you want to forget about me?”

“I thought you’d never come back.”

“And did you want me to come back?”

“From the moment you left that hotel room.”

“Why?”

“…I’m going to leave.” Minghao announces softly, already parting ways to go to his room with his mug of tea, but she can’t keep her eyes away from Wonwoo much longer. The question lingers in the air, just in time for him to connect his hands with hers.

“Why, Wonwoo? Why write about me, think about me, when you could’ve just let go?”

“It’s not that easy when it’s about you.” He says, a small smile playing on his features when he pulls her closer, not all at once but step by step. Slowly, she falls in between his legs, looks into his eyes when he lets sincerity live within his words. “I got everything I could ever wish for, and I still wanted you.”

“…Oh, God.” Her smile can’t hide itself when she wraps her arms around his shoulders, head resting on his chest as she chuckles. “Why do I like that so much?”

“Maybe, because you wanted me back, too?” The hope lingers on his voice, and she has to pull away for a second, looking up and down his features as she licks his lips.

“Let’s fix this entire mess first.”

“I’ll deny you are my album’s muse if that makes you feel better.”

For a moment, she feels the weight falling off her shoulders, but instead, she perks up, spine straightening when she says: “And why not confirm it instead?”

“Would you want to? This world I live in, it’s not good—”

“If I have to confirm a past relationship just to have you again, I will. I would.”

“…I won’t do that to you.” Wonwoo whispers, lips pressing to her knuckles like they used to at the earliest stages of their relationship. “You know what I want to do? Mend the lost time with you. Think and heal together. Talk to each other. I don’t want anyone else but us having a say on what we are…not stardom, not the band, not anyone.”

When she looks into his eyes, it feels like the old Wonwoo is back. Not the rockstar drummer that everyone has fallen for, but Jeon Wonwoo who’d laugh at the idea of ever being famous.

And it’s nice to think the world is different today, that they’re alone and there are not a thousand pictures of her online.

“Let them talk,” He finishes. “The only person I want to listen to is you, anyways.”

An avenue of tears has welcomed a sweet lake, and when she has seen her reflection in the water, she captures Wonwoo’s figure beside her. Maybe, they can get through this together. Perhaps, music united them, separated them, and now it has brought them back together again.

That’s the magic of love, isn’t it? Trusting again.

“…And you’ll hear me talk a lot about the past two years, Jeon Wonwoo.”

With a smile, he answers. “And I’ll gladly listen.”

Though, the only sound she gets to hear is the small intake of breath from his lips when she leans forward and tastes the early morning cigarettes in him. Everything she has ever wanted exists in him, so imperfect and yet, so fitting for her.

#wonwoo scenarios #seventeen scenarios #wonwoo #seventeen #kpop scenarios #writing #wonwoo au #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo angst #seventeen au #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #drummer!au #yea i wrote about wonwoo bc whenever i have wifi i have binge watched gose lemme be #also SUPER inspired by one of those ask games i did and hehehehehe i'm excited

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queerbauten · 3 years

Note

Your Blixa Bargeld/EN iceberg is really obscure! It would be great if you could share any links or sources of what you included! Thanks :)

Howdy, ‘non! Here’s some explanation of things. I didn’t include anything above or at waterline—I assume I don’t need to. ;)

Note: I don’t have the mental wherewithal to warn for every possible trigger, but know that this post will contain talks of violence, homophobia, drug use, and death. There’s also some NSFW in there.

alright let’s go

Andi: a play by Peter Zedek in which Neubauten performed. Blixa openly hated the project from the get-go, only taking it to pay his phone bill and avoid potential homelessness. (Source)

The Supporter Projects: the crowdfunding projects for Neubauten’s (and, currently, Blixa’s solo) works. Check out neubauten.org and blixa-bargeld.com for more info. Liebeslieder: a 1994 documentary about Neubauten. It’s available for purchase on most major streaming platforms.

Nihil: an Uli M Schueppel film scored by Alex and featuring Blixa. anbb: a music project between Alva Noto and Blixa. Wolfgang Müller: one of the many men Blixa has kissed over the years. Wolfgang’s also the founder of Die Tödliche Doris (a band that were very close to Neubauten, with Blixa executive-producing one of their albums) and the author of Geniale Dilletanten, a book about… the Geniale Dilletanten.

The female Neubauten: Gudrun Gut and Beate Bartel, who were part of Neubauten early on before leaving for other projects. (Bettina Köster and Blixa recorded together for an *album* called Einstürzende Neubauten; however, that was released as “köster / bargeld”.

Die Haut: Jochen’s (and later Rudi’s) former band. They collaborated with numerous Neubauten-adjacent musicians, including Nick Cave, Kid Congo Powers, Anita Lane, and Blixa.

Automat: one of Jochen’s current bands.

"straight wretches": an Andrew quote from a fan translation of No Beauty Without Danger. For context: Alex had said “Blixa and Mufti [had fallen] in love with each other”. He called it a “true love story”, running it parallel to his romance with Christiane F.. Andrew did not like Alex’s assertion, saying:

“The thing with Blixa and FM was no love story at all. Nonsense. No. We are straight wretches. We are heterosexual. It was not a love story. It was a friendship that lasted 16 years. That doesn’t make it a love story. But actually, even if it was, what difference would it make? Of course we know and love one another.”

The official translation does not use the phrase “straight wretches”; it opts for “real men” instead. It also includes a line where Andrew concedes he doesn’t know for sure that Blixa and Mufti didn’t have something.

Hackedepicciotto: a musical act consisting of Alex and his wife, Danielle de Picciotto.

the Alles in Allem press release: what it says on the box. The link’s giving me a 404 error right now, but it was up until quite recently. Among other things, it affirms that Blixa meant it when he said “nonbinary”.

The Dschungel sheets: an art piece Blixa made for the Dschungel, a gay bar in West Berlin. The piece consisted of real semen on bedsheets. It got taken down not long after it was erected. (If you join Blixa’s solo Supporter project, you can get the full story behind the piece. 👀 👀 )

Members of the Ocean Club: an album by Gudrun Gut, featuring collaborations between her and her friends. Blixa appears on “Die Sonne”. According to the liner notes (I have a physical copy of the album), Blixa was deliberately the only non-woman on the album.

The Supporter singles and albums: singles and albums released exclusively for Neubauten’s Supporters over the years. Some elements of these releases (for example, most recently, “La Guillotine de Magritte”) have been released to the general public. However, most of them remain exclusive. (Check out their Discogs profile for more info.)

Desire Will Set You Free: a 2015 indie film by Yony Leyser exploring queer Berlin. Blixa and Jochen have cameos.

The post-88 lyrics to "Seele brennt": so, “Seele brennt” was released in 1986. It contains a verse where Blixa says he’ll be dead in two years due to his drug use. When that didn’t happen, the verse was rewritten to say he would have been dead in two years’ time. The earliest footage I know of featuring the reworked lyrics is from the Moers Festival of 1990 (which you can see in Liebeslieder).

Jever Mountain Boys: a ‘90s country band featuring—among others—Alex, Jochen, and Mufti.

Mufti beating up Blixa: Rowland S. Howard (who performed on “Durstiges Tier”) explained that “Blixa had his body miked up and they [Neubauten] were punching him to get a bass drum beat” for the song. Rowland doesn’t specify which member(s) did it. However, the Kalte Sterne liner notes list Blixa as “body” and Mufti as “body drumming” for that track.

"Presence": members of Neubauten will sometimes get “presence” credits. Mark got one on “Durstiges Tier”, and Andrew got one on “Beauty”. Presumably, it’s a way for these members to get performer credits, even if they didn’t contribute.

The Some Bizzare row: Some Bizzare are Neubauten’s former record label. They have consistently withheld royalties from the band. neubauten.org has disclaimers on parts of their website discouraging fans from buying records that were released by Some Bizzare.

The Headcleaner U-Bahn schematic: Headcleaner is a book of Neubauten’s lyrics up to and including Ende Neu. It includes a U-Bahn-style schematic by Blixa that shows how various Neubauten songs are connected to each other.

firefighter Rudi: Rudi was a firefighter before becoming a full-time musician.

Long-haired teenage Blixa: what it says on the box.

Grandmother Cash: a pseudonym Blixa used for 2-Kut’s Rock That!

The exact story of the firebombing: for context, “the firebombing” refers to the time Blixa firebombed his high school before being expelled (and prohibited from attending public school anywhere in West Germany). Blixa tells the full story of what happened in 233 Celsius - Ein Feuerbuch, which is only available in German (and not widely available in German, at that). (As with the Dschungel sheets, you can get the full story if you join Blixa’s solo Supporter project. 👀 👀 )

Toni Kater: a German musician with whom Rudi has collaborated.

Blixa actually has parents in fact there is photo evidence: the most obscure fact of them all here ya go :)

#Einstürzende Neubauten #Blixa Bargeld #Alexander Hacke #FM Einheit #Mark Chung #Andrew Unruh #Jochen Arbeit #Rudi Moser #and the rest of the freaks (honourary)#unsanitary /#fire tw #long post #text heavy #Anonymous #aquaphobia tw #parents /

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 3 years

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HALESTORM: Behind-The-Scenes Footage From Making Of 'Back From The Dead' Video

HALESTORM has shared behind-the-scenes footage from the making of the official video for the band's new single, "Back From The Dead". The track is taken from the group's upcoming fifth full-length album, due in 2022. Directed by Dustin Haney (Noah Cyrus, Luke Combs) and produced by Revolution Pictures, the clip features frontwoman Lzzy Hale and the rest of the band in a morgue and cemetery somewhere between life and death.

Lzzy says: "'Back From The Dead' is about survival, not in a physical sense, even though I know we all have been touched by death especially these last few years. This song is personal and written from a mental health perspective. I wanted to give myself and the world a hard rock song we could shout out loud as the gates opened again. I was on the edge of this world getting completely lost in oblivion, but even though it was the harder of two choices, I didn't just let the darkness and depression in my mind dig me an early grave. I didn't just sit and let it take me. I've erased my name from my headstone, so save your prayers, I'm back! I hope this song, as I pass it on to you, reminds YOU of your strength individually and that you are not alone."

She continues: "The video was so much fun to film! Dustin Haney is an amazing director. Dustin and his team really helped bring my words to life and the video is one of the most cinematic pieces we've done in years! I hope this song, as I pass it on…reminds YOU of YOUR individual strength and that you are not Alone. Raise your horns!"

By breaking rules, bucking trends, and busting down doors, HALESTORM has surged through rock 'n' roll on a singular path without compromise or apology. Along the way, the Pennsylvania-bred and Nashville-based quartet — Lzzy Hale (vocals, guitar), Arejay Hale (drums), Joe Hottinger (guitar) and Josh Smith (bass) — has collected a Grammy Award, scored successive number ones at radio, garnered multiple gold and platinum certifications, and performed to sold out crowds on five continents.

Going against the grain again in 2021, the band weathered the flames of chaos in 2020 and returned stronger than ever with their most empowering and undeniable anthems to date.

"Throughout the pandemic, I was writing a lot of melancholic and hopeless songs about the ups and downs of the world," admits Lzzy. "I've been in this group longer than I haven't been in it. We've always had shows. Even when I was 13 years old, we had a couple of bowling alley gigs once a month. This was the first time I didn't know if we would ever play again. However, I started to use music in the same way I did as a teenager—to get myself through this situation that was plaguing us all. I sidestepped and said, 'Let's keep our heads up, get our attitude back, be a light in the dark for a second, and celebrate the fact we're surviving and there's hope for the future.' So, we started to write songs that were a reminder to ourselves of who we are and what we're capable of. That became the mission statement."

In a way, it's always been the mission statement…

Since roaring to life in 1998, HALESTORM has uplifted audiences with a combination of sonic ass-kicking, provocative songwriting, and unshakable hooks. The four-piece received a Grammy Award in the category of "Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance" for "Love Bites (So Do I)". The song also minted them as the first female-fronted band to hit #1 on the Active Rock radio charts. Thus far, their discography spans two gold albums "Halestorm" and "The Strange Case Of..." , a platinum single "I Miss The Misery", and two gold singles "Here's To Us" and "I Get Off". Between surpassing one billion cumulative streams worldwide, they've notched two consecutive Top 10 debuts on the Billboard Top 200 with "Into The Wild Life" (2015) and "Vicious" (2018). The latter represented a critical high watermark with Rolling Stone citing it as "a muscular, adventurous, and especially relevant rock record." In its wake, "Uncomfortable" emerged as their fourth #1 at rock radio and earned their second Grammy Award nomination, while Loudwire christened HALESTORM "Rock Artist Of The Decade" in 2019. Not to mention, they have supported everyone from HEAVEN & HELL and Alice Cooper to Joan Jett on the road.

Even as the world went dormant during 2020, Lzzy remained prolific. She lent her voice to collaborations with everyone from Dee Snider of TWISTED SISTER, IN THIS MOMENT, APOCALYPTICA, and Mark Morton of LAMB OF GOD to EVANESCENCE, Cory Marks, and Mongolian phenomenon THE HU. Additionally, she joined forces with a trio of legends — Corey Taylor of SLIPKNOT, Scott Ian of ANTHRAX and original SLAYER drummer Dave Lombardo — for the theme song to Netflix's "Thunder Force". Plus, the group contributed a cover of THE WHO's "Long Live Rock" to the documentary of the same name. Expanding her presence across television, she hosted the AXS TV "A Year In Music" series, joined the cast of Hit Parader's "No Cover" as a judge, provided the singing voice for Bella Thorne in the Prime Video hit "Paradise City" and launched her own show "Raise Your Horns" on Rolling Live. On the channel, she appeared in Mike Garson's David Bowie tribute with a performance of "Moonage Daydream" alongside Broadway star Lena Hall. She also participated in the platform's Ronnie James Dio tribute, supporting the Stand Up And Shout Cancer Fund.

At the same time, she remained a huge proponent of encouraging the dialogue around mental health. She participated in a Grammy Mental Health panel and empowered the next generation of rock musicians as the keynote speaker at the Little Kids Rock Modern Band Summit. She also made history as Gibson Guitars' first-ever female ambassador.

"I've learned a lot about myself through all of these different projects," she admits. "I said 'yes' to various adventures, and it made me a better artist."

Working out of her home studio in Nashville, Lzzy and the band channeled this renewed spirit into the music at the onset of 2021. Collaborating with Scott Stevens of THE EXIES, the musicians hit their stride and cooked up the single 'Back From The Dead'. Dramatic distortion and drums rumble as she screams, "I'm back from the dead!" HALESTORM come out swinging as punchy verses give way to a call-and-response chorus shocked to life with a searing solo and thunderous groove.

"We needed a reintroduction," she exclaims. "We needed something that simply said, 'Hey, we're back'. The live show is the time we feel as truly alive as we can be. When you walk out on stage with your guitar strapped on, your guys are next to you, and you have an audience looking at you, it's everything. We're celebrating the fact we're all back together again. Whatever it is that was trying to destroy that part of myself and my bandmates that our fans need couldn't do it. It failed miserably. We're fucking back."

From the moment the band graced the stage at a secret Nashville gig, they were indeed "back," albeit louder, heavier, and emboldened by an unbelievable year. Amped up to jump back in, their tour schedule took shape with festival dates followed by a co-headline run with EVANESCENCE in the fall.

Readying their fifth full-length album, they're delivering the soundtrack for a world ready to roar again.

"We've lost a lot of people, but we can start healing again," she leaves off. "I appreciate the little things even more. I don't only feel this confidence in myself, but also in every one of my band members. We're not the same people, none of us could ever be. HALESTORM is my source of my joy. It's my connection. It's the closest thing to my religion. We're moving forward. With this next album, I hope we're able to create a greater sense of community. We have a beautiful opportunity. When you listen to it, I want you to feel like you can walk through any fire."