#the amount of fuck in this fic lmao

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Me: //brushing up on my old Paperhat fanfics to make sure I'm getting details right for the new one//

Me @ my past readers:

#paperhat #villainous #OP #HOW DID ANYBODY ENJOY THESE??? LMFAO #THE GRAMMAR IS AWFUL I REPEATED SO MANY PHRASES WAY TOO MUCH WTF #SO MANY UNNECESSARY EPITHETS #THE CRINGE DIALOGUE #WTF #THE AMOUNT OF BULLFUCKINGSHITTERY THAT PPL LET ME GET AWAY WITH BACK THEN. ASTOUNDING. #IF I DIDNT HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME LOOKING BACK ON THESE DUMB THINGS ID GO BACK AND REWRITE THE SHIT OUTTA EM #GOD #AWFUL #Like sure I get that the concepts themselves work fine but wow reading these back makes me physically cringe #Just from like... how bad on a technical level that the writing //itself// is #Look I know that cringe culture is dead but THAT DOESN'T HELP STOP ME FROM FUCKING CRINGING AT THIS GARBAGE #Yeesh. Oh well. I guess I was never a professional or anything lol. But WOW #I mean I'm glad that people enjoyed them back then regardless of the flaws but man. MANNNNN...... #I can do better #One day I will prove it lmao #Whenever I get around to finishing another goddamn fic lol

[waddingham]

heads up, seven up!

ooohh fun thanks for tagging me @broadwayfreak5357 and @kittensittin ! this was particularly well timed because ive been writing all day and after last night ive been rotating vampires in my mind like a microwave fkfhdjdj

RULES: Post the last 7 sentences that you wrote. (or, you know. seven-ish in this case)

“Soaking up the night,” he answers without opening his eyes. He's finally caught a moment of stillness, enjoying the relief of night falling, his feet crossed on his desk. He spent way too long in the sun today – he's feeling sluggish and starving and, as the scent of her drifts in with her voice, particularly loose-gripped on his control. “Inside?” “Night falls everywhere,” he says, then lifts a hand as he hears her shifting, meaning to take another step into the office. “Stop.” He makes sure his voice brooks no argument. “Excuse me?” “I said, ‘Stop,’” he supplies simply. “Stay over there.”

if you see this and want to share please do and consider yourself tagged by me!! show me the goods!!

#idk if this will ever amount to anything but fksnjssjsh me myself and i are having an excellent time #almost picked a different fic bc i haven't had time to Ruminate on this but fuck it lmao #tag games

[moregraceful]

one time my mom told me that our young neighbors loved our persimmons so much that they decided to plant some trees of their own. so they planted four persimmon trees ☠️

#OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILDREN LMAO #we have two trees planted in 80s. they put out conservatively at least 300 persimmons each. maybe more #FOUR PERSIMMON TREES #fuck around and find out of ALL time #<- says the guy who is inheriting a house with 14 different fruit trees on the property #i feel real fear when i think about my future sometimes #not bc i am afraid of growing old. but bc i am afraid of the amount of gardening i will be doing #but like what am i gonna do - cut down the persimmon trees? those trees are my family. all the fruit trees are my family #anyway if any of you are like should i plant 1-4 persimmon trees? NO just COME TO MY HOUSE i will GIVE YOU THEM FOR FREE #fresno oilers.txt #feelin real chatty tonight but i was just at church for 5 hours and am trying to recover from the yearning #so i can get started editing my fth fic #i got stuck in traffic while going to church tho and untangled a motif that was driving me crazy so i'm feeling MUCH better abt it #and we stay silly above it all

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story #Seven’s Celestial Commentary #Everything Stays #writing stuff #i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic #there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good #the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand #i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun #but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader #can’t decide which i like more #god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head #next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao #and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts… #Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude #‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!! #picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God #‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down #‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!! #anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations! #and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped) #(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’ #‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’ #like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for- #like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon #‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’ #‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’ #*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters #anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many #gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced #even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another

[collegeoflore]

i do think this game has made me insane because it used to take me one billion years to write more than 1k but i’m regularly banging out like 2-3k at day like. at work.

#is it a Good 2-3k? fuck no. but i’m doing it. #i think i’m slowly approaching 30k total i’ve written for this shit and that’s ignoring the like #frankly obscene amount of character meta i’ve sent to my partner #and i’ve published um… less than 2k of it. lol. #1. a lot of it is just for me and 2. i hate editing so much. LMAO #漫言 #edit: i did some math and across the one actual long fic and my two catch all documents for shorter stuff #i’m at 32k. lol.

[tragicclownwrites]

🤡

#came back for a beat as I watched friendiversary and wanted to share my thoughts 👀 #the torture device bit at the end was a bit ehhh for me #like why was THAT the reason sponge remembered him?? #but sponge attaching the formula to squid so he'd “never forget it” was honestly sweet #and everything else was GOLD #imo it's just another piece of evidence that squid truly feels something for sponge #but is actively running from it to the point where it drives him insane #if sponge ignores him he goes crazy if sponge is obsessed with him he goes crazy lmao #this episode was one of the first times we've seen this on full display #no amount of physical torture will compare to the deep inner conflict squid experiences re: his true feelings for sponge #if only he'd allow himself to love and be loved!! #i feel like this only further cements the points i made in my reigisa x squidbob masterpost tbh #which you all should totes read! #spongey is in LOVE though for sure #like fantasizing about living with squid in his sleep? the fucking scrapbook? COME ON #anyway this episode was so great once you look deeper and it has so much fic fodder #squidbob #sbsp #squidward #spongebob #tragic clowning

[sentientcave]

Should I split this silly tow truck au thing into bits or wait till I've finished the whole thing to post? Because if I split it I could potentially post the first bit in the next week, but it's not slated to be very long so it may be better to wait and post it as one thing

#Feel free to weigh in #if you have an opinion about this lmao #I'm like one quarter thinking about this and half thinking about Early's PriceGhost bootblacking fic #and one quarter thinking about my little scifi thing #Although it's almost midnight so I'm probably going to slowly increase the amount I'm thinking about bootblacking #and end up launching myself into having a fucking stress dream about doing a terrible job cleaning boots and getting called a bad girl/boy #Cave thots #Cave writing

[musical-chick-13]

Setting an Official Deadline™ for myself of getting the last bits of chapters 2 and 3 done, which means. Chapter 1. Genuinely for real happening very soon. I may make a separate post ahead of time over what this thing is actually about so that people can be Aware (because. trigger warnings.), but I haven't decided yet.

#I AM definitely going to turn off anonymous asks for a while once that info is out there though #that's probably me overworrying but like. have you SEEN how people behave on this webbed site when Dark Content™ comes up #like this is gonna stand a far better chance of getting me Purity Cancelled™ than shipping j/c ever did which is. sure something lmao. #like I really do need to keep reminding people that THESE ARE CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NOT REAL. NOTHING IS HAPPENING TO A REAL PERSON. #like. inevitably someone will say 'oh but YOU'RE trying to do this with nuance and through an ANALYTICAL lens' I mean yeah I am trying #to do that because that's how I approach everything but like. there's no amount of 'attempt at nuance/analysis/etc.' that will ever be good #enough for these people. and also you can LITERALLY just write a story because you had an idea and went 'hmm that's a little weird #or fucked-up or whatever.' like me going 'what if character analysis from this angle' really isn't any more Deep™ than someone going #'ooh I had an idea!' in neither of these situations is anyone making a profound commentary on the human condition #ANYWAY. see y'all in a week. or. whatever. #The Fic That's A Lot

[clumsyclifford]

x

#stuff #i stayed up til 6am last night finishing summer camp fic #gang this thing is 53.7k. #the last chapter needs to marinate for a little bit #and then ill probably have to go through and do a fulllllll reread which is gonna be fun lmao #and then uh. well. then i can post it #it's seventeen chapters lmaoooo we're gonna have a good time besties #oh god now i need to start figuring out the tags and all the chapter titles and everything #oh boy #anyway here's some basic info to tide you over: malum ensemble fic #and by ensemble fic i mean all of 5sos all of atl all of 1d #please bear in mind i started writing this fic three (!?!?!) years ago #at this point the characters in it are literally just characters #they bear absolutely no connection to their real life counterparts #including any. yknow. drama. coughs meaningfully #okay that's all im gonna split now #if anyone has thoughts about an update schedule for once i finally get this fic done for good im all ears #cuz if i post one chapter a week then ill be posting this fic for four months #which is a fucking wild amount of time to be posting a fic. if i do that then ill still b posting the fic when i go BACK to camp this summe #and that would be bonkers #anyway!!! bye!!! #ETA ive actually been writing this fic since may 2020 which means it's been almost FOUR years in the making. that. is. insane.

[laesas]

Just wanted to pop in to say hi! And that

1) I absolutely LOVED that snippet you shared of Chay and Tankhun. Chay having nightmares and Khun comforting him? Amazing. Just. Khun being the brother for Chay that he himself wanted/needed is such a great concept in general, I'm very !!!! about it. 🥰

also 2) I couldn't help but notice this

in your tags, soooo.... May I ask about your Kinn vs Kim scene? 😉 Pretty please~

!!! Thank you!!

The Kinn v Kim scene is from chapter 2 of the same wip - Kinn calls Kim in to talk about his relationship with Chay. The following is the tail end of a huge argument:

“-and it’s your psycho ex that kidnapped him. The way I see it, it’s just you and Porsche fucking up, over and over and over again that put Chay in danger in the fucking first place.”

“Enough, Kimhan.” He’s playing at disinterested, but the muscle in Kinn’s jaw twitches. In the weighty silence that follows, Kinn takes a slow sip of whiskey. “Apologise, and end it. Stop stringing the kid along”

Rage boils in Kims chest again, his hands whip across the desk and rip the glass from his brothers hands, launching it across the room. The crystal tumbler explodes into a thousand glistening shards as as it hits the wall.

“You’re so full of shit Kinn. You’re a fucking hypocrite.” 

“Enough.” Kinn’s hands slam down onto the table as he rises. The sound echoes off the walls like a gunshot. 

“‘Stringing Chay along’-” Kim continues, his voice mocking “- as if you have a leg to stand on.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Kinn’s expression is a storm, confusion and rage whip past his eyes until finally, finally Kinn’s face clouds in recognition. Guilt. Kim senses blood in the water.

“If he hadn’t been there-”

“Don’t” Kinn breathes. 

Kim pauses. He’s good at this. It’s exactly what he was born for. It’s exactly why he had to leave. Kinn can play at violence but Kim savours it, the moment before he twists the knife. A smile coils at the edge of his lips like a viper. As Kinn looks up, the words drip out of Kim’s lips. Quiet. Pointed. Venomous. 

“Big died for you,”

... Oof.

Context and meta under the cut

Send me a 📝 + a word, and I’ll post an excerpt from a fic I’m currently writing that contains that word.

Scene Context: After Kim posts the video, Chay has a breakdown and Porsche forces Kinn to call a meeting with Kim, essentially to tell him to leave Chay alone and let him heal. It starts off calm, Kinn trying to be a good older brother, but he's awkward and out of practice and they start misinterpreting eachother. It escalates slowly until Kim snaps. Kim rips Kinn to shreds over the way that Kinn and Porsche failed to protect Chay. Instead of recognising the anger as proof that Kim is actually in love with Chay. Kinn takes it to heart and goes back to his aloof mafia boss persona, believing Kim is just messing with Chay and telling him to "leave the kid alone".

Anyway!!! I'm glad you enjoyed the Khun + Chay wip! I just think they're so lovely. I haven't even started it yet but I'm beyond excited to write Tankhun being protective of Chay to Kim haha

Meta: Kinn and Kim are another favourite duo for completely different reasons. Kinn steps up to be the heir to protect his siblings and let Kim live a "normal" life. Despite Kim's desire for distance from the family business, Kim investigates Porsche and Chay, ultimately in an attempt to protect Kinn from the mole. They both love eachother deeply but have been brought up to view love as a weakness and in their outright refusal to acknowledge the fact that they are both acting out of love, they end up hurting eachother in the process.

Kim isn't even losing the argument. He's frustrated that Kinn is implying that he never cared about Chay but correcting him would mean admitting he's in love with Chay which is just as awful and laced with shame. Some part of him knows deep down that Kinn is right and he should leave Chay alone to heal. The thought is painful enough that he brings up Big, purely to hurt Kinn back. It ends the argument, but Kim realises too late how much it's hurt his brother. They've finally had a proper conversation, the first one in years, but it's one step forward, 10 steps back.

Ah yes. Pain and suffering. Delicious.

Send me a 📝 + a word, and I’ll post an excerpt from a fic I’m currently writing that contains that word.

#kinn theerapanyakul #kim theerapanyakul #kimhan theerapanyakul #Kimchay #kinnporsche the series #kimchay wip #fic #my fic #I posted way more of the excerpt than I was expecting haha #I feel like I also need to note that both of them are awful to eachother too #like further up the page Kim is ripping into porsche for not protecting chay as if porsche didnt also save kinns life lmao #I just love unreliable narration #I love when characters have a skewed view on the world and their interactions and you get to write that. #Kinn brought you in because he's concerned ABOUT *YOU* KIM he CARES BRO. I PROMMY. #but the whole chapter kim is like why the fuck am i here kinn doesnt give a shit about me and that shapes the whole argument #honestly the amount of half finished fics I have for this series is obscene :') its about the character study of it all <3

[essektheylyss]

wip wednesday excerpt! it's funny, folks seem to enjoy reading wizard theorizing (as do I!), but godddd I hate writing it. wdym I have to be clever and thoughtful and scientific? I have a film degree. my school had one math class total and it was literally called "Math."

unfortunately it does come with the territory, so here's a bit of a discussion regarding popular theories about the boundaries of the planes, feat. not one, not two, but THREE wizards:

“How is the jury still out when you can just try different runes and approaches and see what works?” Essek barks a laugh. “Fjord.” Veth frowns. “What about Fjord? How is it his fault?” “He is the type of spellcaster who utilizes arcane forms, but casts them in ways that defy logic and physical law,” Essek says. “He utilizes runes, but he does not inherently understand them. Often the laws themselves are secondary to the will to create the effect one wants.” “Which is also why you can have many runes that create the same effects, or runes that cause multiple effects, either on their own or in tandem with other runes,” Caleb adds. Veth throws up her hands. “Well why study, then? If it’s all bullshit—“ “It isn’t ‘all bullshit’,” Essek laughs. “It is merely, ah, different types of bullshit.” “Arcane learning is one of many vehicles through which to access these things, and each arcane learner will create their own version of that particular vehicle.” Caleb leans back in his chair. “Which is the primary reason we’re able to look at this spell cast one way in a very stringent arcane system, and formulate other methods of using it.”

#not pictured: fucked up warlock who gives every wizard in a three mile radius a migraine by existing #critical role #cr fic #wip wednesday #also do need everyone to know that the 'Math' class comment is literally not a joke #it was Math I and it was a farce lmao #I didn't take it cuz I prereq-ed out of the math requirement six ways to sunday #also. not a joke lmfao. #this is why I feel the need to read a bizarre amount of science nonfiction lol #and am considering teaching myself calculus. it's FINE #that's the only reason I can get away with this shit and also have opinions on how magic works lol #the luminous worlds wizard theorizing was so philosophical that it was fine (nerve-wracking to write in a different way but fine) #but this has SO MUCH MORE INVOLVED. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF. AUGH. #also my friend has reminded me that we also had a science minor. A MINOR. IN SCIENCE. #what science you ask? JUST SCIENCE. #honestly that's even funnier but the singularity of that one math class haunts me

[zhalar]

thinking about how jess lives her life paying the fines day after day like its routine cuz she will fucking wear pants in public and fuck you going to do about it. she’s my best friend my pal my homeboy and good time gal . my rotten soldier.sweet cheese 

#aloto #särmäs sermons #i still have. two episodes left. hhghghghhhhhghg episode SIX #FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK #also i was sceptical at first because the episodes were so long but it does not slag at ALLL its a breeze to watch these 50min eps #THANK FUCK... #man. episode six................... #also on a cringe note lmao the amount of scenes and 'ideas' in this episode that are SO SIMILAR to this nami-trans-hc-fic ive been drafting #for like a year and a half now. insane but not impossible when you think about it for even a little bit lol #why must i have work today. i would simply like to consume moving images thanks

[mikecrewsteacup]

not to sound like a broken record but it is meaning so much to me that i can post gen fic of close intense friendships to ao3 and get a positive response. ditto for ship fic that explicitly is about characters who don't have sex. like. it's so nice.

#ghoul speaks #ace pos #cannot over-express how much my prior “fandom” experiences fucked me up via the expectation that everything had to be both #-scrubbed free of too much personality so the max amount of ppl would like it and -immediately sexualized whenever the reader wanted lmao #now i'm like no they're gonna cuddle in bed and not kiss this is my fic!! and then other people like it still :') its so pleasant

[babygirlgiles]

📓

Omg thank you for the ask and the opportunity to rant about my all time favorite daydream fic!

I have been daydreaming about this one forever, it's gone through so many iterations and morphed so much since the first time the idea "omg but what if Willow and Tara had a gay little farm" popped into my head, but it still is The Gay Little Farm fic in my mind until I hopefully come up with a better title lol.

The Gay Little Farm is a gothic horror-y story set in a canon-divergent AU where Willow doesn't go back to Sunnydale after season 6. The fic itself is set several years down the line, after Sunnydale has been destroyed, when-- after spending some time learning more about herself through traveling, living with various covens, going to community college in San Francisco, and eventually getting a degree in computer science and working for a robotics lab-- Willow has recently bought a small farm in New England (I was missing Massachusetts when the idea was first conceived, don't judge lmao. Plus you can't really beat the ambient horror vibes of rural New England).

By the time the fic starts, Giles is the only one of the group that still talks to her. Buffy and Xander were pretty pissed about her decision to not come back, but Giles supported it ultimately because he felt all her emotions in Grave, so he understands the depths of her anguish and understands that she really doesn't know herself anymore, and supports her trying to figure out who she is on her own terms. (Also, he supports her because I asked the very essential question: "what if the btvs writers had decided to leverage how similar Willow's trajectory is to Giles's backstory even the teeniest tiniest bit?" lmao).

Throughout this time, they've emailed each other extensively, like nearly every day, but when Willow's emails start to become less and less frequent after buying the farm, Giles doesn't really think much of it; he knows she's busy trying to get everything set up to be an operational growing season, and that she doesn't have an internet connection at her new house yet so she has to go into town to email him.

It's explicable, so he doesn't worry about it until one day he gets several increasingly bizarre, almost unintelligible, concerning emails in very quick succession.

(lol I'm gonna put a read more because this got long lol. But if anyone else wants to send me one of these ask games : Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.)

She doesn't reply to any of his emails, doesn't answer the phone so he gets on the first flight across the Atlantic to go check on her (it's partly panic, but partly because he's not really pleased with where his life is at the moment anyway, but I won't get into that, this is already getting too long lol, just let it suffice to say he's glad for the excuse to just pack off to somewhere else suddenly). But when Giles gets there, Willow seems perfectly fine. She says she doesn't even have any clue what he's talking about when he tries to bring up the emails, and he figures she must just be embarrassed or something and not want to talk about it, so he drops it.

He decides to stay at the farm for a bit to keep an eye on her and make sure she's okay, but the longer he's there, the more and more weird things start happening. Even as he falls into the rhythms of life on her little farm and gets comfortable there, he can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong. He's having bizarre dreams that are becoming increasingly prophetic, even though there's absolutely no way he should be having prophetic dreams. He starts remembering things-- or at least they feel like memories, but they're certainly not things that ever happened to him. One night, he catches Willow in the middle of what looks like a blood magic ritual, but when he stops her, it's like she wakes up from sleepwalking and has absolutely no recollection of what happened. He's suspicious of Willow and what she might be doing, but also increasingly convinced the house is working some kind of dark magic on them both, so he sets out to research the place. But the nearby town clerk's office, the town's historical society, everywhere he can think to check has absolutely no record of this house existing.

Anyway, I won't spoil what is actually going on with the house because I am for real going to write this (I sort of started a while ago, but as I watched more of the show, my plot and ideas changed SO much). But really, at its core, everything that's going on with the house is about processing their grief, about building a life, about them repairing their relationships, and about the two of them having to come together to do all that by working together to figure out what's going on (although, Willow already suspects what's going on long before Giles even arrives, she just doesn't want to accept it...). The whole story is just like, what if Willow and Giles reconnected in adulthood and finally worked through some of their immense baggage about each other but also just their baggage in general? :) And also there was a farm. :)

#myfic #thank you so much for sending this i had so much fun answering!! love to share my stories about my little guys #once i finish the current big fic im working on #this is the next one i want to write so. keep an eye out. #literally i was actually so so close to entirely abandoning the idea about willow having a farm. #bc originally it was a willow and tara have a farm together and then giles comes to stay on the gay little farm with them :) #i literally probably thought of that watching s4 and then i remembered that tara was going to die and i was like :) idc :) farm :) #but I think the further i got the more like... idk it just didnt really feel genuine to the spirit of the farm and what i wanted to tell #for her to just be inexplicably alive? it just wasnt the story i wanted to tell #so then i was like okay :) Tara's spirit is on the farm :) and then Giles and Willow bring her back to life :) #and then I watched s6 and was like WOW. So apparently !! being resurrected !! fucking SUCKS!!!!!!! #and like. i couldn't do that to my girl I just COULDNT!! #and then i was thinking about it more the timeline made no sense it was like why is willow on this farm why is she on the farm alone #and by this point i had like. a considerable amount of Giles coming to visit her on the farm written lmao #but even tho i was like these are all good scenes and good writing like WHAT is the context WHAT is going on #and apparently backpacking is the best time to have fic ideas ever #bc i remember the exact moment where it came to me like a fucking epiphany just. oh. its canon divergent. its an s7 au. #i was out in the hammock watching the moon and scrambled back into the tent to get my notebook (almost woke my friend up in the process) #and was like frantically scribbling down how it all finally came together by moonlight in the hammock #so im glad i didn't abandon the idea and let it keep puttering around until the hammock worked its magic #I’ll also add. there’s an accompanying playlist. that I play while I daydream about it lmao.

[dxringred]

starting to get so sick of the continued ste/ddie intrusion on the ronance ao3 tag that i deadass might just start commenting on ste/ddie fics kindly asking them to use a different tag lmao. 

#this is a TERRIBLE idea #considering that i have autism and anxiety #but like fuck bro #reading the tags on my posts #makes me So sad and angry #for this fandom #yes 2-3 people seem to have listened #but the amount of intrusion is still ridiculous #considering the sheer volume of fics they have #why should they get to overrun our tag too? #when it takes like 10 seconds to type an alternative tag #idk if anyone has any better ideas #let me know lmao

[pain-suffering-even]

Hey um... 👉👈 do you have any other... uh... religious trauma hcs? Specifically for Izawa?!?! I definitely won't go feral if you post some :'3

hm... i don't have anything off the top of my head for him, but i'll whip up something real quick. i already have a few head canons for him, which i'll just mix into this, but i'll try and keep it as plain as possible for anyone to add on/be able to input what they think <3

content warning for religion/religious trauma and mention of oc character death and internalized homophobia/transphobia (very brief mention)

i would guess he's about 20, maybe 21 now - so he would be young when the gates appeared, 10 or 11. around this time he would maybe start leaning a bit harder into his faith since he's young and is terrified about what is happening. not to mention he would also be reawakened as an S ranker

for about several years, he'd ask god to protect his sister and his family - while he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, he still sees him as a human being and values his life, and his step-mom has always been kind to him and gave him a sister, and later on, a brother

(if you really wanted to add in angst, his step-mom or step-sister could die in a gate break related incident - that could be the thing that really breaks his faith)

there are things that happen in canon, tragic incidents known world-wide because of the sheer amount of death and destruction. Kamish, Tokyo's Red Gate Incident (not canon; i whipped it up for goto ryuji's backstory), and all around any tragic stories involving people being lost or dying in gates would continuously shake his faith

coupled with the teenage angst hormones, his outlook on religion might do a 180 as he gets older - while he still believes in god/a higher power, its clear whatever he's praying to doesn't value human life

around this time he would be attempting to move out on his own, since his home life would be getting progressively shittier with time, only making him more and more frustrated

he would definitely feel guilty as well, because as an S ranker, he can definitely stop all of this death, but he can't do anything because he's still technically a child

(also - i headcanon ippei as being born intersex, which i know is out of left field, so i'm just going to mention it briefly - his gender/sex/all that would cause conflicted feelings about his faith as well, because he wants to trust god, but he also feels as though he's wronged him by being born the way he was - internalized homophobia/transphobia and all that)

in the present, he would probably hold grudges against god for not being there or not intervening. he might sit down for a prayer out of instinct/as a last resort before a tough gate or something similar - it would be tough for him to break old habits, as much as he doesn't like it

so... there you have it! growing up close to god, feeling betrayed and abandoned when shit got real, yet still reluctantly believing in god and praying/talking to him despite also feeling anger and resentment towards him. (and, an optional splash of internalized homophobia and transphobia or a dear family member dying due to a gate for maximum angst)

#tw // religion #head canons #solo leveling #only i level up #mentions of other characters #long post #izawa ippei #start rambling/ #phew... wrote this in one sitting so i hope its coherent lmao #just for you anon!!! hope you like it #god i love getting asks... makes my fucking day... if youre reading this i promise #im desperate for interaction in this fandom #and i will roll with just about anything #will i be good at it??? who knows! probably not! #anyway... ippei my beloved #fun fact. im still writing out the past project fic and hes the one giving me the most amount of trouble writing it #literally everyone else is done but whenever i write something for him im unsatisfied with it and have to start over #ok ok ok. im talking to much. anon i genuinely hope you enjoyed i tried my best #yall feel free to send me whatever asks are on your mind i will entertain them as best i can because. brain ROT #hope your crops are watered etc etc #/end rambling