#the beauty of this story is that anyone's perspective for the After is valid

[atmosphericradar]

I recently finished the first volume X Gender by Asuka Miyazaki. The Goodreads reviews for this first manga volume talk about how messy it is from a representation perspective, and how it's probably not a great introduction to gender and sexuality (especially anyone who might need a supportive voice in this regard: e.g. newly-minted trans and non-binary people, or anyone currently exploring their sexuality more than owning it).

My girlfriend found it for me when we were both browsing at a book store. I hadn't heard of the manga before yesterday, though I get the impression after reading Goodreads that there is someone recommending this manga to a general "weird in the gender" audience. I don't think this would have been a healthy read for me back in 2021 when it was first published, but I am not certain of that.

As someone who entered queerness at the end of their 20's, and still has a long way to go in terms of living my truth (publicly and privately), I found X Gender a refreshingly honest perspective. Many people early in their journey out the closet will consume tons of media (social or otherwise) featuring physically attractive, fashionable queer people. It's aspirational, and it often breeds jealousy and self-hatred.

In online spaces like Tumblr, so-called "baby queers" are told that this kind of "beautiful people" media creates unrealistic expectations (true!), but then turn around and produce tons of media featuring emotionally exceptional, unproblematic queer people. The aspiration never goes away, it just becomes a degree in gender studies and intersectional feminism. Physically idealized or mentally idealized, both media landscapes uphold lofty expectations.

X Gender attempts to honestly depict an imperfect human being's life experiences. The main character isn't a beautiful, charismatic androgyne who charms people with their quirks. They aren't a saintly therapist who lives above the gendered anxieties of their culture. They're a nerd in their 30's living with their mom, who is still unpacking their trauma and gender and sexuality. They have uncommon, perhaps unkind views on relationships and families. They burnt social bridges, and have few close friends. They're bitter and anxious and self-centered. They have a fraught relationship with sex and with their own body.

This is not the story of someone who has their life in order (if it was, it would probably center the character of the General). But a lot of queer people online don't have their lives in order either! We live in a messy world, where coming out as LGBTQ commonly makes someone's life very disorderly! The pressure to be presentable, to be desirable by whatever metrics, is intense. I constantly worry that I'm not "being queer correctly", like I need to earn the privilege of being nonbinary. Reading a story about a realistically flawed person - that never once questions their own non-cis gender despite their society and their personal issues - is validating in ways I've as-of-yet rarely experienced.

Ultimately, I agree that this manga isn't for queer kids fresh out of cis-het society. It's probably not for a lot of people! There are almost certainly better English-language texts out there explaining the Japanese queer scene. But this manga does say "anyone can be queer, even someone you might find objectionable" without wavering. And that was important for me to hear.

#x gender (2021) #x gender #anime #my posts #gender #social media #society #trans #media analysis #media criticism #socialized norms #weird

[mamabearwonders]

bring me the unloved, the misunderstood, the hated, the hunted, the golden souls who have their hearts broken in a cold world. let them have a place by my fireside and have a meal with me and rewrite the stories from their perspective not those who hurt them.🔥🍽️

welcome in the dragons.🐉 ages ago, the skies would rumble. but it wasn't lightning. it was the parade of majestic scaly friends who dawned the skies freely. every day, they'd breathe fuel for the hearth, the heart of the home and helped warm up the ovens for bread that made the village smell heavenly. the heart of the village.

only to be driven into their caves and have their treasures stolen after fearsome stories of dragons appeared. the hero sung in the stories, the slayer or thief, not the innocent dragon who was painted as a ferocious beast. now they wait longing for the days dragons and humans coexisted peacefully only able to fly safely at night now.

welcome in the werewolves.🐺

half man, half wolf, but not fractured. a whole, valid existence. humans are often two-faced and look past it, but will not accept those who cannot help having two different sides and deserve love on both sides. who just need love and understanding during shifts which happen from forces well beyond our own. many of these folks would likely listen to anyone misunderstood and deserve the same care.

hunted by those who do not wish to understand. drawn as cold-hearted monsters who live only to prey on humans when they likely prefer to stay away from those who wish them only harm and want only friendship.

welcome in the vampires.🧛 who spend their days reminiscing of centuries past. dancing with an invisible lover in the parlor who long has since become one with the stars. sheet music has faded and the music has long been lost to the ages, so he has only his soul which remembers. waiting once again to dine- not on- but with a bunch of friends, nocturnal or not, once again. there were those who understood them and didn't fear their darkness because they knew their own human darkness and saw the light in their friends that cast a warm glow of hope.

intelligent folks that know dances and recipes humans forgot to write down. and would be glad to show you by firelight after a fabulous meal. then show you how to make fabulous clothing from their stacks of materials or colors no longer in existence.

only now hunted in the night when they keep to their own. angry townsfolk fueled with bloodthirsty soulless creatures having no empathy for those who had their human lives sometimes stolen from them and can't help the effects of it- sometimes stolen by the very villagers.

welcome in the unicorns.🦄 protectors of the forest and healers. who show themselves to the pure of heart. ethereal beings made of love and light who would likely help those in need.

only to be hunted for their magical horn. to be discarded like yesterday's trash. mystical creatures with so much love and gentleness in their hearts reduced to one part of them.

welcome in the experimented on.🧪 those who were either petty criminals or live on the fringes of society. who needed gentleness and to be welcomed into homes and helped. forced into unethical experiments that left them with a face or body that left villages horrified at them instead of the experimenter. forced into solitude or depression. they are still human beings. and every being is worthy of respect and dignity.

welcome in the fallen angels.👼🖤 those who chose free will and autonomy over their light-bringing beings. who chose to dwell with mortals and bind their wings to the earth.

they are all my friends.💗

humans call them the monsters when society lacks the heart or soul to take care of those different than us that share this beautiful miracle called life.

~MBW🐻 ~ 4/10/24

[complainingatthevoid]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea I’ve seen discussed in quite a few contexts, of the text of a story (the show/book/podcast/whatever itself) only being half the experience, with the other half being whatever the audience brings to the table themselves. I feel like sometimes, with social media, there becomes a narrative of what the ‘correct’ reading of a work should be. And I certainly enjoy seeing other perspectives on things I watch/read/etc., especially when it comes to more niche stuff that I can’t for the life of me convince my probably-already-tired-of-my-suggestions friends to check out. But those discussions also, in many cases at least, mostly take into account the work itself, not the experience any individual is bringing to it.

Like, my experience with Agents of SHIELD. I like the show plenty, but I also strongly suspect that if I hadn’t watched it live, and had instead stumbled onto it later and binged it on streaming, it wouldn’t hold the same place in my heart that it does now. So much of my emotions around this show have to do with the experience of watching it live or near-live, with friends, family, or by myself. I mean, this show was airing weekly during some of the most stressful months of my life so far. It was a constant, a source of small comfort, good enough that it kept my attention, light enough that my brain could handle it during that period of time, and that made it special to me in a way that would be hard to replicate under different circumstances.

(For example, I didn’t get around to catching up on say, Game of Thrones, until after some things in my life had settled down.)

But what I think I’m trying to get at is, I don’t think my affection for the show being so tied to a personal experience in any way diminishes the ‘value’ of that affection, even though there’s a voice in my head that seems to think maybe it should. Art is inherently subjective, and you can never be quite sure why something is resonating with someone else, what additional meaning its bringing based on the specific context of an individual’s unique experience. Hell, even figuring out why I resonate with something sometimes takes internal work.

(A not small amount of what I think I’m doing with fic writing in the first place is trying to sort out my feelings on various things.)

I don’t know, I just had a conversation recently with a friend who didn’t like the movie Annihilation very much (a movie I adore), who thought it was missing something. And I think her views on that are as valid on mine, so something else is probably different, right? It got me thinking again about how trying perceive the meaning in art as an objective thing is probably a fundamentally flawed idea. That certainly doesn’t invalidate criticism, especially when it comes to context around how and why a thing was made (I have… thoughts about the corporate machine behind much of the MCU that I’ll leave by the side for now), but I do think there is something to the way any individual may or may not enjoy something, or may or may not find something meaningful, that may be completely inaccessible to anyone else, especially to a stranger. And I think there might be something kind of beautiful about that.

#agents of shield #writing #rambling

[thefact0rygirl]

Okay, so I’m the original anon that got this whole discussion started about writers only interacting with the same circle of besties and in the next breath posting about how interaction is down and no one reblogs their work.

First off, if you are sending anon hate to any writer, STOP. Especially if you’re sending it to Vee. Just stop. It’s rude and immature. You’re causing more harm and not solving anything.

Second, I appreciate Vee taking the time to respond to me. Vee, you made me feel a lot better after I read your response. You are so kind and respectful. I also appreciate the other readers that have messaged Vee and shared their thoughts as well. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone or being too sensitive. I especially appreciate the writers that have reblogged everyone’s discussions and added on to them. It means a lot that you care.

Third, it was not my intention to point fingers or make all writers feel bad. I know we all have busy personal lives, and that comes first. I don’t expect a response from anyone other than maybe a “thank you for reading and reblogging” if they want to and have the time. From what I’ve come to understand, that is the whole point of Tumblr: reblogging. It just makes sense to reblog because it keeps your post alive. I don’t expect a long thought out response or an ass kissing thank you from any writer. I’m so thankful for the writers I follow, for their hard work, their amazing stories, and for them choosing to share them with us. They have brightened my darker days.

Lastly, so many people have made good points since my message to Vee, but the one that stuck with me the most is: we’re all here for the community. This is why I prefer Tumblr over AO3. Hell, it’s why I’m barely on Facebook or any other social media site now. I can only speak for the Pedro Pascal fandom because that’s the only one I’m involved with, but I think the majority of us care about each other and enjoy getting to know each other and have fun interacting together. Yes, there are a few snobby writers on here that only want to interact with their small clique of friends. It is my responsibility to curate my experience on here and to unfollow them if they want nothing to do with me or don’t appreciate my kind comments and reblogs. Their loss. My mental health needs to come first. I have “met” so many wonderful kind writers on here and I’m sure there are more for me to discover. I’m going to focus on giving those writers all my love and make sure they know how much I appreciate them. I encourage you all to do the same. We really do need each other, or what is even the point of being on here? Let’s act like a community, interact and spread positivity and be thankful for each other.

Vee, thank you for being an such amazing person. You are a beautiful beacon of kindness on this site. Love ya ❤️

Thank you for your kind words, nonnie! I’m happy to have helped start the conversation, regardless of yesterday. 

I also want send you a big THANK YOU for starting the conversation! It’s important, and I think that acknowledging the nuances that go into interaction gave us all a better insight. Not everything is as it seems, and there are so many things that go into fandom interactions. I know a couple people expressed their appreciation for you and the other anons for opening up and I want to echo that. Thank you, thank you for being open and lovely 💖

The rest of this is directed to the asshats who sent me and others hate.

This conversation has been going on for almost a week now. I think we as a whole can agree that interaction is tricky and there are so many factors that go into it. Everyone’s experiences and perspectives are valid, because we are all participating in fandom. There isn’t a single person or group to blame for low interaction, and if someone hasn’t gotten that message yet then shit. I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe get offline and develop your critical thinking skills. 

The point wasn’t to assign blame, it was to open up a discussion about why interaction and fandom is the way it is. It’s to allow people a safe space to share how they’re feeling, and if you have a problem with that then you can fuck off. 

It is not an excuse to send hate.

One anon said they’re disappointed in how writers responded yesterday. To be honest, everyone was disappointing last night. Everyone was hostile and defensive, so don't try to pin this on a single group or person. Reflect on your own actions.

A conversation meant to help guide a discussion about a serious issue like interaction was twisted and morphed into an excuse to send me and others hate. Given the direction some shitty anons decided to take this, there isn’t a point to continue this conversation. I am not going to continue a conversation that is used to justify sending hate. 

Everything that needed to be said has been said. Interaction is nuanced, there are so many things that go into why someone may interact or not interact with you. Every ask, reblog, and comment about this stated this one way or another. Many have brought up points and perspectives that we may not have realized before.

And yes, there are still a hundred other things that contribute to interaction. We can spend the rest of the day listing every single one and it wouldn’t matter. If people aren’t willing to sit back and reflect on their own actions, then there really isn’t a point to any of it. 

The last thing I’m going to say is this -

Everyone treats everyone like shit.

Writers treat readers like shit. Readers treat writers like shit. Writers treat writers like shit.

Whether intentional or not, there isn’t a single person on this hellsite that hasn’t offended someone else. Let’s drop the victim card and saying, “What??? Not I!!! I have never done anything wrong in my life ever!!”

And you know what else?

Nobody — reader, writer, whatever — is entitled to interaction. You are not obligated to interact with everyone in fandom. Nobody is obligated to interact with you. And yes, there are repercussions for not interacting. Readers feel used, writers feel ignored, and people stop posting or leave fandom all together. But that isn't your responsibility. You are not responsible for how other people act. Let people handle the consequences of their own actions.

Echoing what anon said, put your time and energy into the people that matter. Stop giving people who don't give a shit about you your time and energy. They don't deserve it. Unfollow, block, do whatever you need to do. It's not fucking complicated.

Anyway, I'm done. Maybe we can pick this up again later, but not until some of you do some serious reflection.

#vee answers #anon

[daechwitatamic]

This chapter was a masterpiece. You had me crying literal tears of pain at some moments and my heart absolutely melting at others. How dare you make me experience so many emotions on a Friday! As punishment, you must read my novel of a reaction below.

Wow. Taehyung. Just wow. Let me tell you, his reaction to this situation is worse than I even expected. When Y/N pushed him away, instead of him trying to explain his feelings, he just got so mean. "You said we're the same as we've always been? You're a fucking liar." WOW. I gasped. The man deserves to get slapped. Proof that the kiss wasn't because he cares about her, it's because he's trying to punish her because he has some twisted belief he's been wronged. And the man is also giving me whiplash. His text messages seemed so apologetic and caring, but then when he showed up at their apartment his attitude had done a total one-eighty and he was just so awful to both of them. The man has some serious work on himself to do. 😤

Also this Namjoon is perfection. I could never imagine someone possibly reacting in a more mature, supportive, and helpful way to this entire situation than he has. And honestly Y/N too has been so mature and self-aware, questioning the healthiness and validity of her own self-doubts before acting. It's beautiful to see two characters like this. At every point where I thought things between them were going to veer off into a point of miscommunication or misunderstanding, they worked through it together.

I loved their moments at the pond and especially when Namjoon confessed that Y/N makes him feel like he can just be his unfiltered, nerdy self with her and hasn't felt that way around anyone else. We've seen so much of Namjoon being there for Y/N throughout the story that it was so sweet to see him acknowledge how she's made him feel supported and seen as well, even if it wasn't through any particular hardship.

As for the POVs, I'm so glad you are thinking of writing the Taehyung one, I think this would be so interesting to see and I really want to know what is going on inside that man's head because his actions are... not it. Maybe it's because I have it so down bad for Taehyung, or maybe it's because I have a soft spot for an emotionally illiterate idiot best friend who doesn't realize he's in love with the girl until it's too late (and just read @foxymoxynoona's very different but also amazing story around this concept, "Tell Me What Changed", highly recommend), but I am still holding out hope for some sort of a redemption arc for him. You're right that you do give us a lot of Namjoon's perspective already, and that unlike Taehyung one of the beautiful things about him is that he actually communicates his thoughts and feelings (imagine that!) to Y/N, so we don't have to guess what's going on inside his head. But I think Namjoon's character is someone who is so careful and thoughtful with their words, I'd be curious to get a peek into his raw, unfiltered thoughts. Like what was he really thinking after their steamy night together, on their date, when he was outwardly being so mature about letting her meet up with Taehyung, etc. But I think you answered some of those questions in this chapter as we saw Namjoon process the aftermath of seeing the kiss, so I perhaps spoke too soon! Also I live for the teaser updates almost as much as I do the new chapters. It sounds like Taehyung is hopefully read to be a bit more mature about things, but we'll have to see, I've been fooled before. I cannot believe we only have one chapter left!!! Hope life is treating you well, Jo! <3 🌴

okay listen i'm gonna put this whole response behind a cut because i'm gonna talk a LOT about my characterization of taehyung and it MIGHT delve kind of into spoiler territory so if you want to wait and read what i have to say after NEXT friday that's totally fair.

SPOILERS PROBABLY HAPPENING BELOW OKAY

"punishment" pls i wish every reader did this lol

okay i have a LOT to say about taehyung. if you got this far and didn't expect me to come back with a "yes, but -" about him.... idk what to tell you because i've been doing this since the drop lol

"instead of trying to explain his feelings, he just got mean" so let's talk about this!!!! because you're right! he got nasty! something i tried to write into this taehyung is that he bites when he's scared, hurt, or embarrassed. and in that moment, when his life-long best friend physically pushes him away and curses at him and MEANS it, he's suddenly all three of those at once. like people aren't perfect, and i meant for this taehyung to be very not perfect. but it's real, right? i know people like this. they aren't bad people but they have to work on themselves to fight that instinct! and it's kind of a callback to the chapter when the guys were like "what if she moves on from you" and he was - scared, embarrassed to be called out, and he reacted this way too.

a step sideways for a second - let's examine what he's SAYING though!!!!!!! she told him "we're the same as we've always been". what does that actually mean? i'm still in love with you? i'm still following you around in hope that you'll want me? you're still my whole wide world? maybe taehyung didn't say it NICELY but at the end of the day he's RIGHT - she's lying. he's losing her in real time, watching it happen, and she's lying to his face about it! ANYWAY

back to the original thought - if you look again at the scene in the hallway, there's something i want to point out. Taehyung's nasty - to Namjoon. He is! Super nasty! I am not contesting that AT ALL. But - but. The second reader steps into the hallway all that bite vanishes on the spot and he goes straight to pleading with her to hear him out. even after he swallows the fact that he can't talk to her without an audience (the audience that he is FURIOUS at/about, that he sees as the reason he's losing His Person) once he's talking to HER all he does is beg her to talk alone and apologize again! he actually isn't nasty at all to READER in that moment! Only to Joonie!

As for "proof that the kiss wasn't..." I'm not gonna speak to that part - his motivation - until after next chapter. i promise it will be addressed IN FULL.

listen so we're far enough in the story that i can say this. it was VERY important to me when i wrote this story that the conflict was never between reader and namjoon. once they started shit, they were fine, they were a team, they were gonna handle shit together. in many, many ways, this is really the story of taehyung and reader since that's where the main conflict lies. the story of how their friendship has to navigate this part of their lives that would have been weird and difficult even if it hadn't been namjoon. i almost put tae also on the banner because it is, in my eyes, equally his story - but i didn't want to encourage anyone who thought reader should've picked him lolll.

okay this might be spoilers I guess!!! i just want to say... i don't know that i wrote taehyung a redemption arc? i think i'm leaning to say that i did not? and it's just kind of.... idk in real life not everyone gets redemption redemption? sometimes the best we can do is say 'wow i was wrong for that', apologize, and try to make little babystep changes in our life to try and do better going forward? and that doesn't feel like a ~redemption arc~ necessarily but maybe that's the best we can do sometimes? NOT THAT I'M SAYING THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN FOR TAE >_>

I ALSO CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT asjfhkasfhajkfh i'm UPSET

thank you so so much for coming along this craziness with me, i absolutely live to hear your thoughts, and i'm sorry i am Like This about defending taehyung lmfaoooo

hope you've been well!!!! <3

#🌴 anon #answered #my heart to reply

[ottovonruthie]

RWM: The Wolf Den

I got up to chapter 23! This is what I think about the characters so far.

Amara's tenacity and her drive to improve her situation illustrate the human spirit's resilience. She's like a strategist, always seeking ways to change her fate, even when the others don’t have the same drive as her. Her past as a freedwoman adds depth to her motivation. Having tasted freedom, she knows what she's fighting for – a return to a life of her own choosing. This memory serves as a powerful catalyst for her actions.

Dido's repulsion of men after her traumatic experiences shows the deep impact that past events can have on our relationships and perceptions. Her repulsion is a deeply human response to the traumatic experiences she endured, the forced prostitution and exploitation. These experiences have left scars that extend beyond physical wounds, affecting her emotional and psychological well-being. Her instinctual avoidance of men highlights the profound loss of trust that can result from such trauma, as well as the emotional walls she's built to shield herself from further harm, especially with her relationship with Niccandrus.

Cresa, her story is the saddest to me. Forced prostitution and then losing child while still choosing to be kind. You can tell every scene that she’s in that the loss of her child is a wound that cuts deep into Cresa's core. The pain of separation and the absence of her maternal bond leave her in a state of profound grief and emptiness. She seems so detached from the world around. The profound grief she feels speaks to the complex emotional landscape that accompanies the loss of a loved one or an irreplaceable bond. 

Victoria's situation is particularly heartrending because she appears to be isolated, lacking the kind of close relationships that others around her seem to possess. The presence of companionship and emotional connections that characters like Amara, Dido, and the others have further emphasizes Victoria's sense of isolation. Amara and Dido have their music and Menander and Niccandrus respectively, Beronice have Gallus foolishly, Fabia have her son, Paris, Cresa still have the memories of her lost son, while Victoria doesn’t seem to have anyone. This isolation is a poignant reminder of how our relationships and connections can shape our identity and well-being. I think Victoria thinks she has Felix, in which she don’t. Her interactions with Felix, while seemingly providing her with some form of companionship, underscore her sense of being trapped and devalued. In a way, she's caught in a cycle where her interactions with him perpetuate a perception of herself as having little value beyond her role as a sexual object.  Victoria's perspective on sex as a form of esteem highlights her search for validation. In her circumstances, where other forms of connection and recognition are lacking, she may perceive her interactions with Felix as a source of validation and affirmation, even though it's a distorted view.

Fabia's encapsulates the harsh realities of societal expectations, the transient nature of beauty, and the challenges that individuals face when their perceived value is tied to external factors. Her journey from a life of slavery to her losing her worth as she ages is an exploration of the vulnerability that comes with such circumstances. Fabia lost her value as she became older, which is the heartbreaking representation of the societal emphasis on appearance and youth, particularly for women. The notion that one's worth diminishes with age is a pervasive theme that resonates beyond the book's setting. It sheds light on the challenges individuals encounter when their identities are tied primarily to their physical attributes rather than their intrinsic qualities or accomplishments. Fabia's journey also invites us to consider the limited opportunities and options available to individuals trapped in low-ranked positions. More importantly, the empathy that the other women in the story feel for Fabia's plight makes sense, because they know this too is the future that is awaiting them.

Beronice, young and dumb.Her ability to maintain a sense of hope and romance despite her circumstances is a testament to the power of the human spirit. It's a reminder that even in difficult situations, the people still seek connection and the potential for happiness. More importantly, the abusive nature of this relationship also gets swiped under the rug. 

All of these women are such good examples of how trauma plays on someone.

#booktok #books #bookish #bookblr #read with me #the wolf den #elodie harper

[locustheologicus]

The Story of Bruce [Job]: surrendering to God

I use a post where I offer the insights of Bishop Barron and Gustavo Gutierrez on the great insight that can be found in the book of Job. It's one of my favorite biblical stories because it deals with one of the most difficult theological questions we face, if God is all good and powerful why does evil exist? Why do bad things happen to good people? And the corollary, why do good things happen to bad people?

This is a question that deserves much attention because it's one that many of us face when we see or experience injustices head on. How can God allow this to happen. The post I refer to goes into some wonderful propositions to help us respond to this question. The clip above from the comedy movie "Bruce Almighty" has, in my opinion, one of the best depiction of the Job story in cinematic history. Jim Carrey delivers his own version of Job's humility after having experiences the might and universal perspective that God has. In scripture, once Job experiences the might of God and goes through a cosmological journey of creation he responds in absolute humility and prayer in chapter 42: 1-3.

Then Job answered the LORD and said: I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be hindered. “Who is this who obscures counsel with ignorance?” I have spoken but did not understand; things too marvelous for me, which I did not know.

This is a statement that very much resonates with me. When i have gone through the depths of my own downward spiral I demand that God gives me a blueprint of what it's all about. I tell God that he owes me that much because, it's not fair, it's just simply not fair and I can't take it. Reading the book of Job I realize that the temperment may be wrong but the request itself may be valid. God humbles Job from his temperament of indignation but he does reward his pursuit of fairness and justice; a pursuit that allows Job to feel for others whose suffering and injustice he can now identify with. He is ready to become a wounded healer, all he needs is a dose of humility which God is happy to offer him in Chapter 38.

"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determines its measurements - surely you know!"

St. Gregory the Great expands beautifully on the humble wisdom of Job in saying these words to God in his treatment of this text titled the, Moralia in Job:

All human wisdom, however powerful in actuteness, is foolishness, when compared with Divine wisdom. For all human deeds which are just and beautiful are, when compared with the justice and beauty of God, neither just nor beautiful, nor have any existence at all. (Book III, pg. 610)

This does not mean that we cease to strive for justice, equity and fairness. Its just an invitation to recognize the limits of our own perspective and to reflect on a larger picture. This would allow us to consider the issues we face from a broader perspective. To go from judgement and vengeance and to be more open to mercy and reconciliation. After Job and Bruce achieve this level of humility they are ready to be in right relationship with God and all creation. They are now ready to pray. This book and movie ends with God listening to Job and Bruce's humble prayer for mercy and reconciliation.

This is a powerful story and this somewhat dated comedy does a great job in getting to the point of the message. Since the answer to the timeless question of theodicy is to deepen one's faith it will not provide a satisfactory answer to anyone who demands answers from one's specific experience of suffering and injustice. Instead God invites us to open ourselves into a deeper perspective of the universal truths that are beyond our grasp and to see a deeper meaning in the suffering and injustices we experience.

#Youtube

[novelconcepts]

Maybe this just speaks to how pathetic I am, but I feel like I would have visited Bly way too much trying to catch a glimpse of Dani. But apparently AE said that Jamie only visited that once. What are your thoughts?

I don’t think that’s pathetic. I think Jamie is desperate to find her again, but that she understands Dani wouldn’t take her at Bly--and maybe, if she just keeps asking, she’ll convince her to turn up somewhere else. I do think Jamie would avoid the grounds, after that; I don’t think you ever want to go back to the place you know your wife died without you, where your rational mind knows her body is being worn away underwater. I think coaxing herself out of that lake once was hard enough, and that if she allowed herself--weighted with grief, unable to wrap her head around Dani being gone--to go back again, she might not have had the strength to keep going. I do think she’d go back one time--but that it would be the time. I have always believed Jamie would, if she had the choice, go back to Bly to die of old age. To make absolutely sure she’d be where Dani is. To ask Dani one last time, not as a 45-year-old woman with so much life ahead, but as someone genuinely ready to go: All right, Poppins. D’you want some company now?

#ask #the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #the haunting of headcanons #the beauty of this story is that anyone's perspective for the After is valid #AE's makes a lot of sense #but i do wonder if she's factoring in jamie's whole life #or just up until the end of the show #i very much think jamie would go back at the end #if only to be where dani is #and that even if she didn't #it wouldn't matter. dani would still be there #because i think that's the point. whether jamie knows it or not #Anonymous

[luna-writes-stuff]

The type of person my favorite Tolkien characters would fall for:

With Boromir, Éowyn, Éomer, Merry, Pippin, Fili, Kili, Thorin, Bilbo and Tauriel.

I know Tauriel technically isn’t a Tolkien character, but I love Evangeline Lily and I love red-haired women. Sue me.

——————————————————————————

Boromir:

An artist. It doesn’t matter what kind of artist; whether you practice in paintings, clay, paper, wood, writing etc., he would love an artist as a s/o. He is always quite busy himself, therefore he never found time and dedication to a hobby, so seeing his s/o being capable of - for example - making a small statue or candle holder from a block of clay would absolutely blow his mind. He would run around with it, showing it off to anyone. He does know when not to, though. If you don’t want others to see it, he would leave it as it is, but your art always passes through his eyes. He’d see you work and he’d see the finished product, even if it is not for him to see. He’s always intrigued by it. Make him something special that is for him personally, and you made this man’s whole week. Perhaps even his whole year. He’d put it up somewhere in his room for everyone’s eyes to see. The love this man holds for you and your art cannot be measured, honestly.

———

Éowyn:

Someone who is just as pigheaded and independent as she is, I believe. Obviously, there is no holding her back, but she can be insecure at times. She needs a s/o who will remind her of how strong she is and that she deserves anything this world has to offer. Someone who would follow her to the ends of Middle-Earth if it meant making her prove her worth. She has the constant need for validation as she grew up overlooked as Shieldmaiden instead of warrior, so she would love someone who would remind her of her worth and shower her in affections and compliments constantly. Even if it is not needed. She always appreciates it and cannot express her love for you whenever you show her how much she means to you.

———

Éomer:

An absolute sweetheart. Someone with a caring heart and good causes. Perhaps you have a soft spot for certain people or animals, but he’d love it. Someone who would remind him of the good left in the world. How something so dull can appear so colorful and prideful at times. A bit of sunshine after the rain. He has seen a lot of war and violence himself, so upon meeting someone who will remind him of the positive things in life, he would most likely fall in love at first sight. Give him a bouquet of flowers or a personally baked cake, and he’d melt on the spot. You’d always give him something temporary to show him that beautiful things might not be everlasting, but they can certainly cheer a person up. You’d give him a whole new perspective on life, and he loves it.

———

Merry:

A silent person, most likely introvert. I feel like Merry is fairly extroverted himself, but he’d love someone who is more to themselves. A person who does not parade around with an open mouth and open mind. Someone who holds back a bit more. Perhaps of shyness or purely the idea of not being comfortable around others. He would probably fall in love with a bookworm; someone who can spent the days in their room reading a good book without the need of socialization or fresh air. I can just imagine him coming home one day with you one the couch reading. He’d just wriggle his way into your arms, head on top of your chest and just stay like that while you keep your eyes on your book, you hand occasionally drifting down to roam through his hair. He’d love it.

———

Pippin:

Someone with great stories to tell. He’d love stories about literally anything. You could tell him about old fairytales or things that happened to you once, it doesn’t matter. Pippin loves a good story. You could just lay beside him at night and talk about a vacation you had years ago or a book you recently finished. He’s a sucker for it. I also feel like he would love someone who would join him in his occasional mischief, but also someone who would tone him down a bit and make sure he isn’t doing something too irresponsible. A bit like Merry, but with more control over brakes and consequences. But still someone who knows how to have fun, though. That’s the most important to him.

———

Fili:

Give. Him. A. Badass. Partner. Someone who can beat his ass in combat. Someone who always speaks their mind and isn’t afraid of the consequences. Fili would be absolutely smitten with a s/o like that. You don’t even need to draw a line at your actions, that is his job. He’d keep you in line whenever necessary. Speak up for what you believe in, fight for what you feel is right; it’s just the things that draws Fili to you. He needs someone who can just beat a pack of orcs in hand to hand combat without breaking a sweat. I know I gotta keep it pg, but this dwarf would instantly be turned on, there’s no way to sugarcoat it. He would love someone who could also think strategically, and create a clever solution to any plan, not necessarily thinking about what others want, but solely on that that needs to be achieved. He loves it. He would never shut up about it.

———

Kili:

A nerd. I am so sorry for the Tauriel and Kili shippers among us, but you cannot convince me that Kili would not be head over heels for someone who is incredibly smart or logical. Maybe you will tell him a bit about history, or an analysis about what his stupid actions might lead up to, but it’ll shut him up. Literal heart eyes. You could rant to him about anything about any subject you’d like. You can talk about geology for hours? He’d listen to it all. Invested in Mythology? He’d be in awe of everything you can info dump him about. He would probably brag about it in front of others about how smart his s/o is. He loves using it in arguments (which he will guaranteed get into. He does not know when to shut up.).

———

Thorin:

A musical and emphatic s/o. Thorin enjoys music more than he lets on, but if you can play any instrument (or even sing), his heart would be taken. He could listen to it for hours, occasionally even joining in - as he can sing and play harp, no I will never shut up about this. It does not even matter to him what genre it is. Whatever music it is you make, he will appreciate it and let you play in front of others if you give him permission to. Personally, I think he’d prefer someone who likes holding their music as something private, because it makes hearing it even more intimate, but if you are prepared to let others listen too, he would probably not shut up about it for the rest of the night. The empathic part speaks for itself; Thorin is not exactly good with emotions, so he needs someone who would tell him what to say and how to act at certain times to spare other’s feelings. It takes away the whole intimidating part about Thorin, that much is true, but a king needs to be decent and polite, and not rough and stern, correct?

———

Bilbo:

A decision maker. Bilbo is, obviously, a people pleaser. He needs someone who will help him out in decisions and conversations. Someone who has a mind set out on a single thing and will not wander from it. Someone with a strategic and steadfast mind. A smart, and quick thinker. He loves riddles, so if you were able to return one at the same time he’d asked you one, he’d be on cloud nine. Perhaps also someone he could just turn to whenever he’s frustrated or in trouble. Where he could say what he wants to without getting any response. He’d probably love an s/o who would walk up to a waiter to tell them he wanted ketchup with his fries.

———

Tauriel:

Someone who takes joy in the smaller things. Maybe a little daisy in a big field, or a simple bird bathing in a river bank, but those little things that make you happy, would make her absolutely adore you. When you always manage to find something positive or look on the brighter side of things, no matter how desperate they might look. Tauriel is a realistic thinker, and it often had negative influences, so with a s/o who could convince her to see the good side would be a great relief for her. A charming person who could cheer up anyone, or could make others laugh, even as things seem dark, would be amazing for her. She would even admire you for it. She loves that about you!

#tolkien #lord of The Rings #the hobbit #Boromir #boromir x reader #Eowyn #shieldmaiden of rohan #Eowyn x reader #Éomer #eomer x reader #merry and pippin #meriadoc brandybuck #merry x reader #Meriadoc Brandybuck x reader #pippin x reader #Peregrin took x reader #Kili #fili #fili and kili #fili x reader #kili x reader #Thorin Oakenshield #thorin x reader #thorin oakenshield x reader #Bilbo baggins #bilbo x reader #Tauriel #Tauriel x reader

[lorenfangor]

I heard that #40 was super homophobic :/ so I skipped it. But now your fic is making me want to give it a try. How problematic is it? Are the characters worth it?

Okay.

Okay.

Let’s talk about #40.

The plot of The Other (a Marco POV) is that Marco sees an Andalite on a video tape sent in to some Unsolved Mysteries-esque TV show, and he assumes it’s Ax and hauls ass to save him from being captured. Ax, being Ax, has videotaped the show, and they pull it up and Tobias uses his hawk eyes to figure out that it’s not Ax, it’s another Andalite - one without a tailblade. Ax is appalled at the presence of this vecol (an Andalite word for a disabled person) and we find out that he and others of his species have deep ingrained prejudices against at least some kinds of disabled people.

Despite this, Marco and Ax go looking for the Andalite in question because he’s been spotted by national TV, and they meet a second one, named Gafinilan-Estrif-Valad. The vecol is Mertil-Iscar-Elmand, a former fighter pilot with a reputation and Gafinilan’s coded-gay life partner. The two of them have been on Earth since book 1; they crashed their fighters on the planet and have been trapped there thanks to the GalaxyTree going down. Gafinilan has adopted a human cover, a physics professor, and they’ve been living in secret ever since.

Thanks to that tape, Mertil has been captured by Visser Three, and he’s not morph-capable so he can’t escape. Gafinilan wants to trade the leader of the “Andalite Bandits” to the Yeerks to get his boyfriend back; he can’t fight to free Mertil because he’s terminally ill with a genetic disorder that will eventually kill him, and (it’s implied that) the Yeerks aren’t interested in disabled hosts, even disabled Andalite ones. Despite Ax’s ableism, the Animorphs agree to work with Gafinilan and free Mertil, and they’re successful. Marco ends the book talking about how there are all kinds of prejudices you’ll have to face and boxes that people will put you in, and you can’t necessarily escape them even if they’re reductive and inaccurate, but you can still live your life with pride.

So now that I’ve explained the plot, I’m gonna come out the gate saying that I love this book. I love it wholeheartedly, I love Marco’s narration, I love Ax having to deal with Andalite society’s ableism, I love these characters, and as a disabled lesbian I don’t find these disabled gays to be inherently Bad Rep.

that’s of course just my opinion and it doesn’t overshadow other issues that people might have? but at the same time, I don’t like the seemingly-common narrative that this book is all bad all the time, and I want to offer up a different read.To that end, I’m going to go point by point through some of the criticisms and common complaints that I’ve seen across the fandom over the years.

“Mertil and Gafinilan were put on a bus after one appearance because they were gay!”

this is one I’m going to have to disagree with hardcore. I talked about this yesterday, but in Animorphs there are a lot of characters or ideas that only get introduced once or twice and then get written off or dropped - in order off the top of my head, #11 (the Amazon trip), #16 (Fenestre and his cannibalism), #17 (the oatmeal), #18 (the hint of Yeerks doing genetic experiments in the hospital basement), #24/#39/#42 (the Helmacrons’ ability to detect morphing tech), #25 (the Venber), #28 (experiments with limiting brain function through drugs), #34 (the Hork-Bajir homeworld being retaken, the Ixcila procedure), #36 (the Nartec), #41 (Jake’s Bad Future Dream), and #44 (the Aboriginal people Cassie meets in Australia) all feature things that either seem to exist just for the sake of having a particular trope explored Animorphs-style or to feature an idea for One Single Book.

This is a series that’s episodic and has a very limited overall story arc because of how children’s literature in the 90s was structured - these books are closer to The Saddle Club, Sweet Valley High, Animal Ark, or The Baby-Sitters’ Club than they are to Harry Potter or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mertil and Gafinilan don’t get to be in more than one book because they’re not established in the main cast or the supporting cast, I don’t think that it’s solely got anything to do with their being gay.

“Gafinilan has AIDS, this is a book about AIDS, and that’s homophobic!”

Okay, this is… hard. First, yes, Gafinilan does have a terminal illness. Yes, Gafinilan is gay. No, Soola’s Disease is not AIDS.

I have two responses to this, and I’ll attack them in order of their occurrence in my thought. First, there’s coded AIDS diseases all over genre fiction, especially genre fiction from that era, because the AIDS epidemic made a massive impact on public life and fundamentally changed both how the public perceived illness and queerness and how queer people themselves experienced it. I was too young to live through it, but my dad’s college roommate was out, and my dad himself has a lot of friends who he just ceases to talk about if the conversation gets past 1986 or so - this was devastating and it got examined in art for more reasons than “gay people all have AIDS”, and I dislike the implication that the only reason it could ever appear was as a tired stereotype or a message that Being Queer Means Death. Gafinilan is kind, fond of flowers, and fond of children - he’s multifaceted, and he’s got a terminal illness. Those kinds of people really exist, and they aren’t Bad Rep.

Second off, Soola’s Disease? Really isn’t AIDS. It’s a congenital genetic illness that develops over time, cannot be transmitted, and does not carry a serious stigma the way AIDS did. Gafinilan also has access to a cure - he could become a nothlit and no longer be afflicted by it, even if it’s considered somewhat dishonorable to go nothlit to escape that way. That’s not AIDS, and in fact at no point in my read and rereads did I assume that his having a terminal illness was supposed to be a commentary on homosexuality until I found out that other people were assuming it.

“Mertil losing his tail means he’s lost his masculinity, and that’s bad because he’s gay! That’s homophobic!”

so this is another one I’ve gotta hardcore disagree with, because while Mertil is one of two Very Obviously Queer Characters, he’s not the only character who loses something fundamental about himself, or even loses access to sexual and/or romantic capability in ways he was familiar with.

Tobias and Arbron both get ripped out of their ordinary normal lives by going nothlit in bad situations, and while they both wind up finding fulfillment and freedom despite that, it’s still traumatic, even more for Arbron I’d say than for Tobias. And on a psychological level, none of the main cast is left unmarked or free of trauma or free of deep change thanks to the bad things that have happened to them - they’re no less fundamentally altered than Mertil, even if it’s mental rather than physical. And yes, tail loss is equated with castration or emasculation, but that doesn’t automatically mean Mertil suffering it is tied to his homosexuality and therefore the takeaway we’re intended to have is “Being gay is tragic and makes you less of a man”. This is a series where bad shit happens to everyone, and enduring losses that take away things central to one’s self-conception or identity or body is just part of the story.

Also, frankly? Plenty of IRL disabled people have to grapple with a loss of sexual function, and again, they’re not Bad Rep just because they’re messy.

“Andalite society is confusingly written in this book, and the disability aspects are clearly just a coverup for the gay stuff!”

Andalite society is canonically sexist, a bit exceptionalist and prejudiced in their own favor, and pretty contradictory and often challenged internally on its own norms. In essence, it’s a pretty ordinary society, and they’re really realistic as sci-fi races go. It makes sense from that perspective that Andalites would tolerate scarring or a lost stalk eye or a lost skull eye, but not tolerate serious injuries that significantly impact your perceived quality of life. Ableism is like that - it’s not one-size-fits-all. I look at Ax’s reactions and I see a lot of my own family and friends’ behaviors - this vibes with my understanding of prejudice, you know?

“Mertil and Gafinilan have a tragic ending, which means the story is saying that being gay dooms you to tragedy!”

Mertil and Gafinilan have the best possible ending that they could ask for? They are victims of the war, they are suffering because of the war, they get the same cocktail of trauma and damage that every other soldier gets. But unlike Jake and Tobias and Marco, unlike Elfangor, unlike Aximili? Their ending comes in peace, in their own home. Gafinilan isn’t dying alone, he’s got the love of his life with him. Mertil isn’t going to be as isolated anymore, he’s got Marco for a friend. Animorphs is a tragedy, it’s not a happy story, it’s not something that guarantees a beautiful sunshine-and-roses ending for everyone, and I love tragedy, and so I will fight for this story. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it deserved better. But it’s not less meaningful just because it’s sad. Nobody is entitled to anything in this book, and it’s just as true for these two as it is for anyone else.

“It’s not cool that the only canonically gay characters in this series don’t get to be happy and trauma-free and unblemished Good Rep!”

This is one I can kind of understand, and I’ll give some ground to it, because it is sucky. The only thing I’ll say is that I stand by my argument that nothing that happens to Mertil and Gafinilan is unusual compared to what happens to the rest of the cast, and that their ending is way happier than Rachel and Tobias’s, or Jake and Cassie’s. But it’s a legitimate point of frustration, and the one argument I’ll say I agree has validity.

(Though, I also want to point out that I think there are plenty of equally queercoded characters in the story who aren’t Mertil and Gafinilan - Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all get at least one or two moments that signal to me that they’re potentially LGBT+, not to mention Mr. Tidwell and Illim in #29 and their long-term domestic partnership. There’s no reason to assume that the only queer people here are those two aliens when Marco’s descriptions of Jake exist.)

“Marco uses slurs and reduces Gafinilan’s whole identity to his illness!”

Technically, yes, this is true, except putting it that way strips the whole passage of its context. Marco is discussing the boxes society puts you into, the ones you don’t have a choice about facing or escaping. He’s talking about negative stereotypes and reductive generalizations, he’s referring to them as bad things that you get inflicted upon you by an outside world or by friends who don’t know the whole story or the real you. The slurs he uses are real slurs that get thrown at people still, and they’re not okay, and the point is that they’re not okay but assholes are going to call you by them anyway. He ends by saying “you just have to learn to live with it”, and since this is coming from a fifteen-year-old Latino kid who we know is picked on by bullies for all sorts of reasons and who faces racism and homophobia? He knows what he’s talking about. He’s bitter about what’s been said and done, he’s not stating it like it’s a good thing.

Yes, absolutely, this speech is a product of its time, but it’s a product of its time that speaks of defiance and says “We aren’t what we’re said to be,” and in the year this was published? That’s a good message.

tl;dr The Other is good, actually, and Mertil and Gafinilan are incredible characters who deserve all the love they could possibly get.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #mertil/gafinilan #mertil #gafinilan #mertil-iscar-elmand #gafinilan-estrif-valad

[i-got-the-feels]

Things I love in Jessica Jones Season 1 that I don't see anyone else talking about:

• The bond Trish and Jessica share. That even before Jessica thought of turning herself in she went to see Trish's abusive mom, called her out on her bullshit (multiple times) and told her to stay away from her. That Trish tells Jessica she hopes she can allow herself to be happy, gives her money to run, and stands by her even if she doesn't understand her. Trish tolerates her mom presence and future possibility of same to know about Jessica's past accident and what made her like this.

• Luke, I liked how we wasn't written as her saviour for one moment. He supported her, called her out on his wrongs, lashed at her in hurt, and helped her. I loved how the writers didn't deviate from this being Jessica's story and only hinted at Luke's past to show why he lashed out at her and of course to create buzz for Luke Cage.

• DAVID TENNANT. How he made me feel hopeful Kilgrave could be redeemed, when there was none. Yes, he doesn't know love or good relationships because of what his parents did to him, yes he may be like this because the virus in him may affect his morality and judgements but after the bus stop, he had the chance to let go and live alone. He didn't. So the virus just influences mind control, not his desire to have a connection, or as he called it his yearning for her. Or how when he said, "I can't be hero without you" saying that it shows that before her he never considered using his powers for good because why would he, the world's safest people for children- his parent's tortured him (to treat him, of course, I'll talk more about that later). Moving on, there was anger and sadness when he said "I'll make her want me and then leave her. Make her feel despair" (heavily paraphased) shows he is hurt by her not choosing him, accepting him, understanding him and the anger and jealousy for choosing and understanding Luke instead. Or when he compelled Jeri's wife to make thousand cuts on Jeri because he understood and empathised with her because in his perspective, Jessica made a thousand cuts on him too (honestly, thinking about this scene even now gives me chills) Or the joy he felt when he could control her again because he genuinely believed that with time and control she would understand and forgive him because of that 18 seconds. He remembers those 18 seconds like that because that 18 seconds made him realise that's what he wants with her. He wants her to be with him because he feels for her. Otherwise, why would he be angry and scared she wanted to jump "I don't care about anyone's life but you. The rest are fungible to me"

• Jessica telling people to deal with their own grief (the jewellery person who wanted to kill her because of her mom's death - which valid, her mom shouldn't have lost life under a building caused by extraterrestrial- superhero war that could be avoided but that also doesn't give her right to kill people with superpowers) or how she calls out Kilgrave's parents for wanting to be God. They defended by saying he would die of neurogenerative disease at 12 years if they didn't do this, but that was also playing God. And if it was just him, you experimented on other kids, HOW do you explain that?

• Malcom throwing the drugs away after Jessica says that Kilgrave did that to isolate her (which yes abusers do), Malcom's prayer for Reuben (A beautiful funeral doesn't guarantee Heaven), Robyn telling Malcom that she forgives him and she hopes there is express shipping in heaven.

•(Edit 1) Kilgrave dying with with a snap of neck and while I was a bit disappointed then and thinking , "Oh? That's it? No showdown of epic proportion?" now that I think about it, that was beautiful. Because no matter what mind control super power Kilgrave had, or whatever power he had that made him super human- him dying with a snap of neck showed he was still vulnerable, and human. That no matter how powerful you are, there are chinks in your armour (and here I wrote why it reminded me of Harry Potter)

P. S it was nice to see you Claire Temple.

Season 2

#jessica jones season 1 #jessica jones #krysten ritter #kilgrave #david tennant #trish walker #rachael taylor #luke cage #mike colter #will simpson #hope shlottman #malcom ducasse #show review #character analysis #david tennant really made me kinda feel for Kilgrave #his talent #claire temple #netflix marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Hey:) have you read the ATLA comic Love is a Battlefield? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it !

The comic makes me seriously wonder what the person who okayed it was drinking.

For one, it’s the single best demonstration anyone might need that the conflict the ship is based on isn’t one you want to have in your romance under any circumstances—that between a girl who’s just not that into a guy and said guy who won’t take no for an answer.

It single-handedly validates every anti-cataanger out there—Aang’s portrayed as entitled, selfish, and utterly delusional about his relationship with Katara who is supposed to have no voice in it and quietly conform to his idea of her and their bond instead of functioning as a separate being with her own wants and notions.

But let’s bring the receipts, shall we?

So the story begins innocuously enough, with Aang drawing the air and water symbols in the sand and adding a heart around them. Cute and innocent so far, I like. Katara appears, acting as though she wants to talk to him, and Aang concludes it’s about the invasion kiss. Why would he think that is beyond me but let’s roll with it. But instead of delving into that particular can of worms, Katara splashes Aang with some water in an attempt to get him to practice.

He doesn’t take it well.

Notice the bold “finally”. What this says to me is that in Aang’s mind, it’s Katara’s job to come to him and report as his girlfriend, just by virtue of being kissed, and it’s been mighty upsetting to him that she “failed” to do so.

After all, consider The Ember Island Players:

“We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together.”

Aang doing a thing means that Aang & Katara did a thing mutually.

In his view, he isn’t supposed to be the one who approaches her and explains why he saw fit to plant one on her; who opens up about his feelings and initiates a frank conversation. No, that was a claiming kiss at the invasion and Katara can only acknowledge it as such and reciprocate.

Our Every RomCom Guy Ever doesn’t realize that Katara not talking to him about it is the answer to where they stand.

This is the third time in as many pages, btw, that Katara tries to get Aang to practice. And for a good reason because we’re a short while removed from The Western Air Temple where he yet again refused to face up to an unpleasant truth and instead had to be literally chased around like an unruly child. Katara’s fully in a sifu mode here, not even perceiving the opportunity to talk about their relationship. And if an assertive fourteen-year old doesn’t think to talk about her second ever kiss with the guy who gave it to her, that should tell you all you need to know about how much she appreciated it.

Aand that’s fourth time. Katara really seems to think that taking down this Fire Lord dude is important or something and that Aang is once again failing to prepare for it. Look, she even has a nickname for it at this point. Yet for some reason, Nice Guy Aang reframes the situation—WHILE HIDING IN A LITERAL ROCK—as a role reversal where it’s Katara running away from confrontation and having to face the truth, even though he revealed in this very scene that he didn’t think it was his job to be open about his feelings with the girl he believes he loves.

At last, Katara realizes Aang’s hinting at the invasion kiss and reacts like any girl who’s harbouring a secret crush would—by visibly cringing and pretending she doesn’t know what he’s talking about and the wind’s really strong for her to hear what he’s saying anyway so maybe it’d be a good idea for Aang to come out and practice? (fifth time)

Finally, supreme gentleman Aang does the one thing he’s not supposed to do—he loses control and depending on how charitable you are either puts Katara in harm’s way (by firebending, weird how that keeps happening), or outright assaults her in blind rage.

Luckily, Katara’s just glad that Zuko’s training is yielding results and maybe the world won’t end in an Ozai-induced inferno by the end of the summer.

Scorned LoverBoi couldn’t give less of a shit, though.

And there you have it, explicitly in the text. Katara, despite showing no signs of attraction and not encouraging Aang’s advances in any way, is perceived by him as someone who’s cruelly toying with his feelings—simply because her reactions don’t conform to what he wants them to be. The relationship is utterly about him and it’s so mean of Katara that she doesn’t feel like playing the demure cut-out in his hero-gets-the-girl routine.

Let’s not mince words, this is some prime incel logic Aang’s operating on.

And the creators don’t seem to realize this. Which is why they never challenge him on his behaviour in the show, reward it in the finale, and go on reaffirming it in every single post-canon material there is.

And I find it sort of infuriatingly hilarious that someone not only conceived of the ship this way, but thought it was a good idea to present it to the world as a basic vanilla romance.

Which makes me wonder.

Because as strange as this might sound, there is a universe where this story is not only perfectly okay, but absolutely crucial to the overall narrative.

That is if the show actually followed up on The Guru and culminated in Aang letting go of Katara to unlock the Avatar state.

From start to finish, the comic proves Pathik completely and utterly right—what Aang feels for Katara isn’t selfless love, it’s selfish attachment. But instead of it being cloaked in vague religious language, we see it manifest in a painfully tangible way. The story’s kinda unintentionally brilliant if you read it like this—it’s show to Pathik’s tell. Aang is too wrapped up in what he feels to see the signs and runs away from having to acknowledge the painful reality that’s clearly evident, i.e. that Katara doesn’t love him. And because he’s so invested in his delusions, he blows up whenever challenged on them, acting on entitlement and baseless expectations and going so far as to slowly kill the beautiful relationship they actually do have—a lifelong bromance.

If this story foreshadowed that Aang needed to let go of his attachment not only to save the world, but to even keep Katara in his life, I’d be fully on board.

But for that to happen, the creators would have to take a step back, start considering perspectives beyond Aang’s, and stop treating him like an infallible bringer of truths who deserves human prizes just for doing his job.

And if they were able to do that then we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

#aang critical #ask #love is a battlefield #anti-aang #anti-kataang

[hxneydreamers]

Hi! You really look like someone who truly lives by the law and if you wanted you could literally manifest the craziest of things, even things that defy the laws of nature and physics and I'm wondering how do you personally view life and existence if you can have everything now with just an assumption? If you are so above everything in the universe? Doesn't this make you feel lonely? Don't your desires feel meaningless? I'm always moved by great stories (most of which have something tragic or sad or bittersweet) and I love being moved by such things and I ultimately want my life to be a good meaningful beautiful story and my fear is that by buying the pearl of great price I'll have to give up on all that so now I find myself almost completely uninterested in my ideal life and I can't bring myself to visualise because I wouldn't feel a thing (btw do you think this will make the manifestation easier or harder?) but I still know deep down that I couldn't accept anything from life other than that perfect ideal I have for myself even though I sorta feel like cheating like... can I call this kind of experience authentic? Share some wisdom ma'am please. Can you also share some films or books or anything that inspired your idea of perfect life if you feel like it?

Hey! You make such an interesting and excellent point! Thanks so much for having such faith in me, hahah, it's extremely flattering!

I honestly have a pretty simple answer for you! Whilst I'm well aware of the law and how things operate and that I am the god of my reality, I am still human. We all are. That's what makes life so beautiful, colourful, and emotionally rich. I believe that the process of manifestation and conscious creation for many people is actually one of the most transformative and emotionally charged human experiences anyone could have, because they face their fears, overcome them, persist and stay determined, and ultimately win the best prize of all - and the prize is not just a material thing or a specific person - the best prize of all is happiness, contentment, and self-love.

I only consciously manifest in areas of my life that I feel have unfolded negatively as a result of low self-worth. The law has taught me that these things are a reflection of the way I treat myself and talk to myself and think about myself. The law has taught me that I should not let my happiness depend on a thing or another person, my happiness should come from within myself.

Our human experiences, the good and the bad, are what shape us as people, and I think that finding the law after we've experienced the ups and downs that human existence has to offer, can be really empowering. Yes, learning about the law helps us take control over our lives and create a happy and abundant life with our specific people, money, the right career, etc, but what I think the biggest thing that the law gives us is the lesson that we need to love ourselves and empower ourselves more.

I don't view life and my desires as meaningless. Just because you are the god of your reality and you have the power to shift into a new reality doesn't mean that the people around you are operating like robots. They are real people and they have thoughts and feelings. You aren't changing anyone or anything around you when you manifest, you are changing yourself and moving into another reality where the people and things around you reflect your new state of being.

The law of assumption has taught me how to speak lovingly to myself and get out of bad habits that ultimately diminish my power and worth. It has taught me to transform myself and my overall love and appreciation for myself so that I can be the best version of myself that I can be.

I personally don't subscribe to any particular religion, but I believe that somehow we were all put on this earth to have a human experience, but we are all one - part of the 'god' source, whatever that is. We all are gods and we all have the power to create the lives we want, but we are here to have desires, to feel all the emotions that come with it, and to experience life's ups and downs, overcoming them and learning from them. I don't know why, but we are all here, and we may as well make the most of it while we are. If we can learn to love ourselves fully and treat ourselves with kindness, we can experience the most lovely parts of life and live in realities where we are surrounded by a reflection of these amazing things.

Let's be real, just because I understand the law of assumption well, doesn't mean that I'm bothered to apply it to every part of my life. Who wants to have to affirm for everything in their life? With most things, I just sit back and enjoy the ride. If there is something negative in my life, I don't let it bother me because I know who I am and I know my worth. If something REALLY bothers me, then I know it's coming from an issue that I have within myself. If anything, it makes me look within and figure out what it is that is causing this.

Even when you know how to use the law of assumption to your advantage, life is still an adventure, and events still impact you emotionally and physically. Sometimes things pop up or happen in your world that come from some deep assumption you didn't even know you had. Life with the law of assumption is a journey of constantly learning about yourself on a deeper level and evolving, and to me, that is so awesome!

When you see people that have successfully manifested their desires, the story doesn't stop there! The new chapter of their lives begins following this, where they get to experience happiness, success, and everything that comes with it! Just because we have the power to change something if we can put our mind to it, doesn't mean that the things we experience aren't extremely real. They feel real, don't they?

Just because the 3D is a reflection of our imaginations, doesn't mean that the experiences we have aren't real. If imagination is reality, and the 3D is a projection of it, then that means that if we have thought of something and it is brought to life, then it is real on some level. We just have the power to place focus on what we want to stay and ignore what we want to go if we decide to.

Even though we manifest things, doesn't mean we don't feel the full weight of their reality. That's human existence. You can still feel your skin, right? You can still feel it when someone kisses or hugs you, right? So it is real to you. If you experience something that you wish you hadn't, you simply have the power to change it, doesn't mean you didn't experience it before, otherwise, where would the desire to change it come from?

Honestly, I can't think of any movies or shows specifically that have taught me anything about the 'perfect life', because everyone's idea of that is different. However, for manifesting and creation, I would recommend Neville Goddard's books. I have his complete reader, which I recommend, as well as Dr Joe Dispenza's books 'Becoming Supernatural' and 'Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself'.

In answer to your question about whether or not that perspective makes it easier or harder to manifest, it depends on what you believe, honestly. I would say that it if anything would make it easier for you to reduce resistance towards things if you truly feel and think that way. However, I encourage you to continue to feel life and to live it fully! The law simply means that things in your life reflect your inner world, and that should be the most real thing to you ever!

Don't let the knowledge of the law taint your view on life and the validity of your emotions and experiences. I, for example, know that the law is real, but I still feel every day and I still have doubts and negative moments in my life. I feel everything so real that sometimes it's too much. The law doesn't mean I won't ever experience hiccups and regular life moments again, it is very likely that I will, because I AM human, and humans naturally develop a mixture of emotions in various aspects of life. It just means that I'm on the journey of life and continuing to overcome these things, just like any other person. You can use the law to make it easier to do this, or harder.

The law is simply a reminder to stay in the state of loving myself and staying in my power so that overall I continue to experience true happiness, because that's ultimately what we all want, right? To be happy and to live in peace.

I hope I've somewhat answered your question and not just rambled on, talking nonsense hahah!

I appreciate the question because you got me really thinking.

All my love x

#manifest #manifesting #manifestation #affirm #affirming #affirmations #law of assumption #neville goddard #reality #parallel realities #create your future

[iamanartichoke]

... All right, let’s do this. 

Under the cut bc there’s SO MANY images, and I’m sorry, and I know the cut is worthless to mobile users but, well, here we are. Please don’t unfollow me for this post specifically. 

^^ I can’t decide if this woman holding the Tesseract is impressive or not bc, I mean, she’s wearing a glove - but, Red Skull probably was, too? Also the TVA are obviously not humans, so “impressive” may be generous. On the other hand, “only beings of enormous power” can wield the Tesseract/infinity stones, so. 

Loki looks pissed. 

“I know what this place is.” I like this, bc it provides us with some narrative evidence that Loki has always known much more about the universe and How Things Work than anyone cared to realize. Loki’s always known what’s going on; that he isn’t ignorant to the existence or inner functions of the TVA feels in-character. 

Inception! 

Lokiception! 

Why does every shot of the TVA’s headquarters look like the inside of a poorly-lit DMV? Though I guess it fits with the “timelessness” of it all as, after all, time ceases to exist or have meaning once you enter the DMV. 

But I digress. 

I’ve already remarked on the “I’m smart” comment, but I do like this shot. 

I really love what Loki’s hair is doing here, I don’t even care. For better or for worse, his hair’s doing it’s own all-natural thing and I dig it. Let it move, let it dance, let it fall into his face and obscure his features as fanfic has allowed so many times. 

I’m not a fan of the exaggerated jump or “wtf” expression along with “this is absurd” but THIS moment? Classic Loki. He looks 500% done and we’re only 51 seconds in. Also, I refuse to believe that stack of papers is everything Loki’s ever said. I know we all complained about the “you love to talk” line but, I mean, certainly he’s said more than approximately the total sum of Ulysses in his 1000 years of existence. 

Here’s what I want to know: 

1. How does Loki taking the Tesseract result in so many new timeline branches? Surely he’s only responsible for one new timeline? I really, really hope they address that this is all the Avengers’ fault. 

2. What timeline is WandaVision and TFatWS taking place in? The main one, I presume? How do we know it’s not one of these alternate ones? 

3. Which timeline is Agents of SHIELD in and will they be addressed? Bc they got up to all kinds of Time Shenanigans in seasons 5, 6, and 7 to the point where I’m pretty sure they split off into their own universe (which is why they weren’t affected by the Snap or that whole thing, or so I’ve heard). If Loki crosses paths with Coulson & crew, I may pee my pants.

4. So where does Jessica Jo - ah, forget it, I’m not even going to ask. 

I wonder what it is about this “unique Loki perspective” that Mobius is interested in recruiting. (Incidentally, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Owen Wilson in, like, a real role - wherein he’s not playing some version of Owen Wilson, that is. He’s got a costume and everything here. Fun to see!) 

This is a bamf shot, okay. The way it’s framed is pretty intimidating. 

“You listen well, brother -” 

“I’m listening.” 

^^ I figured out what kind of energy this moment has, lmao. 

“It’s adorable that you think you can manipulate me.” I mean, do I even have to comment? I am here for narratively validating the “Loki is ten steps ahead” (heh, and I quote) canon. Here’s another place where I feel like Tom was involved, since I’m pretty sure that somewhere, he’s literally said “Loki’s always ten steps ahead of everyone else.” 

That said, I’m not crazy about the delivery of this line; the over-confident tone of it smacks of “here’s someone about to get knocked the fuck off their pedestal” and I’m not here for that. 

That said, these next scenes - 

- not only show Loki with the upper hand but, also, it’s clear that Loki goes rogue at some point, possibly early on, and I do like that. Drag me if you will, but I want to see Loki scheming and being manipulative, in his own interests. 

I think that Loki being the protagonist will allow them to portray his manipulation in a way that the audience is on his side. I don’t think that the TVA is being framed as the “reliable narrator” through which the audience should view Loki, or “good guys” at all; I think that maybe they’re not evil, but there’s probably a lot of morally-grey shenanigans and goings-on. 

I also think Loki is capable of outwitting them; Loki, being ten steps ahead, has probably figured out something that the TVA has not even thought of yet, so he’s going to fix things his own way, according to his own plan. And I want to see that, because I think that this will give the narrative room to really explore both how Loki thinks and what he does when his plans go awry (as I’m sure they’re bound to do); like, how will he fix it and still remain on top in the end?

So, I mean, I’m pretty intrigued (and still cautiously optimistic). 

Lots of action shots happening, I won’t add even more images to this post, but this magic is still giving me life. 

What is this, a food court? (Speaking of which , what’s up with all the action in the mall earlier?) 

“I’ve studied almost every moment of your life” 

(^^ Missed opportunity)

“and you’ve literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times.” 

Receipts or it didn’t happen, and that’s all I’m gonna say about that line right now. 

Thanks, I hate it. This is all wrong, this whole thing - just awful, scrap it, toss it out. Tom, I love you, but this was the wrong delivery and an all-around bad acting decision. It’s too over-the-top, too earnestly “well I never!”, too comical (as in, feels like it belongs in a comic with a speech bubble as opposed to funny). 

Once more, with feeling. From the top! 

I like that we get to see Loki doing a wardrobe change, as I don’t think we’ve gotten to see that before. He always just shows up in a new outfit or illusions one on. 

That’s one ugly ass outfit, but you make it look passable, Loki. You’re beautiful, in case no one’s told you that today. 

The remaining shots are very visually pleasing and action-y and I dig them, except the volcano one (stop posing with your arms outstretched every five seconds, Loki, it’s kinda cringe. In the above still, it works; in front of a volcano, it’s just tonally off. I say this with love, don’t @ me). 

Overall, I think I maintain my 7/10 rating. I think that the trailer hints at a lot of potential in the story that I will enjoy seeing, and I think that the nature of it being a trailer means that it’s a little tonally hyperbolic (this is kinda the format for Disney shit; show the flashy bits, the funny (”funny”) bits, to draw in the casual viewer. Save the story bits for the show. (Case in point: there’s a lot of great material in TFatWS that happened just before or after the one-liners shown in the trailer.) 

So, yes. Sorry this is such a mammoth post, I just needed to explode my feels. If you think the trailer’s awesome, kudos and I love you. If you’re disappointed and upset, I’m sorry and I love you. If you’re hovering in the middle, still in cautiously optimistic territory, pull up a seat and have some popcorn with me. 

That is all. 

#loki on the small screen #long post #image heavy post #loki pokey artichokey #mood gif #i honestly don't know if i should tag spoilers? #i don't think a trailer counts as spoilers personally #but ymmv so #loki series spoilers

[bidisasterforzutara]

What Already Is

*Deep breath* ok...so I read this article quite a while ago and wanted to discuss my take on it but never found the time to (and mostly bc I’ve been afraid to do so) but I feel like now is the time, especially as zutara month nears its end

As everyone who follows me knows, this is a blog for zutara positivity and I try to spread this and search for it often. While there are some things I agree with in this article, I thought it was simply...too depressing for the most part and wanted to write a new take on it for anyone who’s willing to listen.

Keep in mind, this is my opinion, and you’re free to disagree and simply ignore this post if you do. But like pretty much all my posts, if this can spread even a little positivity and help even one person, that would make me extremely happy. So...here goes:

Firstly, I’d like to address that it’s ok to be disappointed at the ending. I myself cried. But then I stopped and thought: can’t we just ignore Kataang? Why should bryke have free reign in our minds? Is it so wrong so create our own canon in which zutara is happy together? Because being “gutted” after so many years is...very saddening to me. It’s just allowing bryke to win in my eyes. As if the original ending was the ONLY possible way Zuko and Katara can be happy together, when this simply isn’t true. And the “painters” who DO in fact finish the “second eye” are the fan artists, fanfic writers, and fans you go on to praise in the next few sentences

THEY are the artists who make zutara canon. Not bryke. So I ask: how can they have “squandered” potential when they’ve got so many amazing artists complete their story? Why do bryke need to apparently be the only ones to complete their story?

With all this content that you admit we have over the course of so many years...it just seems wrong that you still believe zutara was squandered.

As much as I love Dante and as amazing of a person he is...I really wish he’d said “canon is what we make of it” or something along those lines instead of the quote he says here, because i honestly think this fandom as a whole would be MUCH more positive if he said so, including this article writer.

I’m sorry...we’re NOT bound by a shared ache of zutara’s “squandered” potential. We’re bound by their beauty, their parallels, their perfection as a couple. We’re not aching. We simply want to spread love for this beautiful ship. And like I said before...is their potential really squandered if we’ve got COUNTLESS fan artists creating content for them in countless different ways?

Sure as hell doesn’t sound squandered to me.

“Rather than bemoan what could have been” therein lies the issue, you ARE bemoaning them rather than stating the fact that canon is what me make of it. You continue to be upset but...there’s really no reason to be. Just because one interpretation aired on Nickelodeon with a large budget doesn’t make it ANY less valid than fan works. Zutara is VALID. and canon. And we certainly weren’t robbed. Not “could have been”. Rather, “what already is”

These last few lines are SO INCREDIBLY CLOSE to understanding the point I’m trying to make. Fan artists and fans are the ones who complete the portrait. WE are the ones who breathe life into this ship.

But again...this is NOT an issue of “what could have been”. It’s “what already is”. Why should our fan works be considered nothing more than fantasies? Isn’t the original show a fantasy as well? Aren’t these characters all just pixels in the end? They’re fictional. And as such, we have the power to decide the outcome for them. Fan works are EQUALLY as valid as the source material and shouldn’t be considered as a simple “what if”. If you want them to be canon, they are! Ik this is a nuclear take but canon really is what we make of it, and the sooner every fandom realizes that you don’t have to be bound by one specific interpretation, the healthier our experiences will be.

We create art year after year not bc we’re depressed over zutara, but because we love them so much and want to create countless stories for them that the original show never could. Doesn’t mean we were robbed. Doesn’t mean zutara is doomed. It just means we’re an extremely talented, dedicated fan base with a hell of a lot to offer

Also...idk if this writer is aware of the live action but they seem to value on screen confirmation (who doesn’t?) so if they somehow end up seeing this post and weren’t convinced by the first half, bryke left the atla live action. We’re most definitely going to get zutara. They will have a happy ending (especially since the show runner has a good enemies to lovers track record... 👀)

And one last thing...some of you may think I’m overreacting and maybe I am, but zutara is a HUGE hyperfixation and has been for almost a year. I’ve never gotten this attached to a fictional ship. So pls refrain from any “it’s not that deep” comments. This is my opinion, and you’re free to ignore. But for anyone who reads this and agrees, I hope this helps and I hope I’ve offered a more positive perspective to this otherwise well-written article. This is NOT by any means an attack on the writer, just a rambling opinion of mine :)

It’s like I’ve said countless times before: canon is transformative 💜

#zutara #atla #zutara is canon #ri rambles #long post #wanted to get this out for a looooong time #Zuko #Katara #canon is transformative #canon is what we make of it #fanon #transformative works #I really hope this doesn’t upset anyone... #anti kataang #atla live action

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

more thoughts about the homecoming au, the au where maedhros and maglor get brought back to tirion after the war of wrath to be prettied-up trinkets on finarfin’s shelf, with painted-over scars and muffled screams. it is dark, it’s full of all kinds of emotional and caretaker abuse, and the brothers weren’t exactly in a good state of mind before any of this happened. @sunflowersupremes wrote the initial au that wasn’t even meant as horror, @outofangband - this au is as much theirs as mine, several of the concepts here were originally theirs, and a lot of this originally came out in dms with them. part 1 is here. this part contains gaslighting, loss of autonomy right at the end, more suicide mentions (thanks mae) and just general abuse from people who care more about their own comfort than the people they’re supposed to be caring for. it’s worse than the first part, honestly

most of the stuff the fëanorians had on them when they surrendered got taken away pretty fast. which is honestly understandable; some of it was cursed, a lot of it was weaponry, all of it stank to the high vault of the stars

but they both managed to hold onto some personal effects, or get them back before they went in the incinerator. a broken locket, a torn-up book, nothing fancy, nothing large, but things that still mean a lot to them

the valinoreans aren’t entirely comfortable with this. they find a lot of the brothers’ comfort items mildly disturbing, stained with darkness and (occasionally literal) blood as they are. maedhros had this dessicated finger he refuses to explain anything about that got disposed of very quickly

maglor has a few strands of brightly coloured thread, spun around each other somewhat inexpertly. he tends to pull it out when he’s feeling depressed, working it between his fingers until he feels like he can face the world again

one day, one of his minders who gets along better with him asks where he got it. from the twins, maglor admits. it’s part of some embroidery elrond abandoned when they left -

and it’s snatched out of his hands. his minder looks down at him compassionately. ‘i know you miss them, but you caused those boys a lot of pain, you know? you shouldn’t romanticise your relationship with them’

which - maglor’s relationship with the twins was complicated, and while it wasn’t nearly as hellish as elwing fears, it wasn’t entirely healthy. maglor was dependent emotionally on the kids a lot more than any adult should be to children, and vice versa

because the twins were the last people he had left. when maedhros executed celegorm’s servants with no warning at all, this rift began to grow between the sons of fëanor and their followers. they’d always been terrifying, but they’d also been comradely and inspiring, the white-hot stars around which their people orbited. but when they turned their fangs on their own host, all that started to fall away, leaving only the fear behind

it got worse after sirion. by the time vingilot rose in the sky, maglor’s only real remaining relationships were with maedhros, who he hated as much as he loved, and the twins. watching over them, talking to them, not hurting them - it kept him grounded in reality, kept him sane

he knows, he knows, he knows, they’re better off without him. but his time with them is the only happiness in his memories that still feels real

but the valinoreans can’t accept that. the exile was an awful time with nothing in it worth keeping, and the sooner he can recognise that the faster he’ll be back to his old self

besides. their caretakers don’t like being reminded of their more... unpleasant deeds

(elwing sidebar: elwing and eärendil are having an easier time, because the teleri have experience dealing with trauma and are also just more accepting of the right to have your own take on your own experiences. still, though, elwing occasionally hears that a proper telerin mother would have stayed with her children, even if she had to give up the treasure her people died for to the monsters of her childhood nightmares)

(elwing was a young adult in a horrendous situation with no obvious way out, elwing is dealing with her own damage as best she can, elwing is valid, we stan elwing. she’s also one of the few direct-ish sources the noldor have for beleriand and what the fëanorians did there, and her (perfectly reasonable!) perspective colours a lot of their treatment)

in general the valinorean noldor are quite sure they know what beleriand was like and how it felt to be there, and aren’t particularly interested in being proven wrong

it was miserable, it was harrowing, it was nothing anyone should want to think about. it was a long nightmare maedhros and maglor are so fortunate to have finally woken up from

and you can kind of see why they think like that? the ones who have seen the hither shores saw them when ash rained from a void-black sky and almost everything was dead, and the survivors told stories of a long hopeless defeat and cruelties beyond imagining

but that deep black image blots out the genuine joy they felt in those five hundred years, the chance to prove their own greatness, the knowledge they were doing something good, nights when music echoed across the gap, warm hands in a cold fortress. there were things in beleriand worth remembering, aspects of the people they became there legitimately worth keeping

and even if there wasn’t - five hundred years. the scars on their bodies make it plain to see, every little piece of who they are was shaped by beleriand, for worse and for better. they just can’t leave it behind

their valinorean caretakers find this horrifying

maedhros likes to exercise. it keeps him calm, gives him something to do. it’s not something nelyafinwë was super into - he was more the peripatetic type - but it’s a feasible hobby for a noldorin prince to have, so he’s allowed to do it

sometimes, though, he’ll unconsciously shift into the old combat forms, precisely timed drills ingrained into his bodies. the first few times he does this, his minders are bemused more than anything, but then one day he happens to have a stick in hand to use as a mock-sword

then every time he starts to slip away into that meditative trance, hands reach out to stop him and hold him in place. ‘there’s no need to fight here, maitimo,’ an elf he knew before the unchaining tells him ever so gently. ‘you’re safe now’

... they say that, but maedhros’ nightmares keep getting worse

it’s like that with everything that makes the valinoreans uncomfortable. whenever they try to speak of their time in beleriand, no matter what they say, they’re told that oh, they know it was hard, but it’s all over now and they don’t have to dwell on it

but even after they’ve spent years in paradise, maedhros and maglor still won’t let go and allow themselves to heal

they just can’t come to terms with the truth of their ordeal

the narrative the valinoreans have constructed erases all of the bright spots, but it also bleaches out the true darkness

certainly they did horrible things, but did they really have a choice? in such a harsh world, they always had to be on guard, lest they themselves be killed. these poor boys never meant to harm anyone, but their father’s cruel madness and the painful chains of their oath and the vileness of beleriand forced them into atrocities they never wanted to commit

(surely the monsters the sindar spoke of wouldn’t cry. they wouldn’t lose themselves in waking nightmares or curl up shivering in well-hidden closets, they wouldn’t jump away from a casual touch or watch every new person like they might be a threat. they wouldn’t convince themselves the children they stole were happy, or talk to the shade of a dead kinsman they abandoned. surely they wouldn’t. surely)

(because if they are, and they’ve let a couple of orcs loose into the royal palace...)

(maglor and maedhros’ movements are pretty restricted. this is mostly for their own protection, but it’s partially - well, just in case. just in case)

this rankles at maedhros, though he tries not to show it. terrible they might have been, but his choices were his own

he was a warlord, he was a king. he expected to be hated for the things he had done. he didn’t expect to be pitied. he didn’t expect to be dismissed

sometimes, when he’s surrounded by people earnestly telling him that he’s not a bad person, he never was, it was all pressure from his father and the oath, he wants to scream that he chose to attack sirion because he was so, so tired of diplomatically dancing around problems he knew he could solve with his blade

but he stops himself, always. he knows how much what little freedom they do have is based on them not being a threat

and he will not wash this peaceful, innocent land in blood. he’ll kill himself first

maglor has lost all such scruples

it’s not often, but when they’re behaving themselves and no one who’s likely to take offense is in town, the brothers get taken out to court events

they paint makeup over their scars (which still won’t heal, everyone is concerned by the implications of this) dress them up in finery, string them with jewels, and show off how well they’re doing

(even if maedhros rarely says anything, and they never leave each other’s side)

tonight, it’s a feast. a minor celebration, nothing too crowded, nothing too loud. there’s revels and merrymaking and all kinds of fun

and after the food has been cleared away, there’s music

would his nephew like to play something, finarfin asks. it’s hard to tell if it’s a request or a politely phrased order

maglor decides he doesn’t have the patience to be taken aside and tell how much everyone wanted to hear his music, and accepts

finarfin smiles kindly. he’s thinking about how maglor’s minders have been talking about how he’s finally stopped trying to sing depressing or horrifying songs and how his voice grows more melodious by the day

maglor is thinking about how they won’t even let him sing about his wife. he wrote no odes to her beauty or her skill in the forge, but he sang ballads about the swiftness of her spear and her laughter after a battle

none of which the valinoreans want to hear. they want to pretend that love never existed, that there could be any joy found in darkness, that she’s at all worth remembering -

he gets up to play, and launches into the most vicious, most hopeless, most painful part of the noldolantë

they try to stop him, but he’s the greatest warsinger the world has ever seen, he’s sung with blood in his lungs over the roaring of dragons, there’s little they can do to block out everything they’re trying to ignore. he wails defeat and death and grief and death and despair and death

when they finally manage to knock him out, their whole petty festival in tatters, shock on their faces, tears streaming from their eyes, all he can think is that if they understand now, even a little, it’ll have been worth it

for the first time, but not the last, he wakes up in a cell

finarfin comes to visit, and starts giving a very disappointed lecture maglor is in no mood to hear. instead he just snarls that nothing they’ve been doing is helping him at all, and he’s so sick of false sympathy and no one listening to what his actual problems are

finarfin shuts his eyes, says ‘i’m sorry to hear you feel that way’ and leaves

a few days later he wakes up with a collar around his neck

it’s demeaning, but he gets released that morning, so he rolls with it. he gets told to never do that ever again, first by his minders and then by maedhros

his minders he nods at until they leave him alone. maedhros he snarks back at that it’s not like he’s doing anything to improve their condition

only he can’t

the words don’t just freeze in his throat, they can’t even form in his mind. what’s happening, he can’t say. what did you do to me, he can’t say. he can’t even scream

as maglor is clutching at his neck (he can’t get it off he can’t get it off) and all the colour is draining out of maedhros’ face, the minder in the room smiles

‘see? this way you’ll stop making yourself and everyone around you miserable. you can still talk about happy things -’

‘they did this in angband!’ maedhros roars, a statement that provokes his first actual fight with their minders. he’s harder to pin down than maglor. bigger

but their caretakers are becoming annoyed with the brothers’ obstinate refusal to let themselves get better. they may be content to wallow in the misery of their past, but inflicting it on others is a step too far

they clearly aren’t going to move any further down the road to recovery on their own volition, so it’s become clear they need a gentle push. is it a little distasteful? yes, but such things are sometimes necessary in medicine

the bright cheerful princes they will be again will thank them for it

oh god how did this end up so long. the last one should be shorter, it’s mostly clearing up some loose ends. why did i write this

#maedhros #maglor #homecoming au #my terrible fic #finarfin #noldor #late stage feanorians #abuse // #mental health issues /// #suicide mention // #gaslighting // #eeeeeeeeesh #i am not sure what i was trying to get across actually comes across in this #i ran out of unova pokedex before i ran out of fic #(the long one from b2w2. no i'm not explaining that) #it is three am! #and i'm not trying to start anything with that section about how the noldor minimise the feanorians' deeds #other people have their headcanons and that's cool. i have mine #i don't see them as 'entirely evil' (whatever that means) but i have felt like my own imperfections mean i don't deserve help before #... can you tell this is a vent fic yet #mags gets more focus because mags is the character i project onto #i've thought about him more; i have a more solid grasp of what i think his character is #'s why i got nelyo in on this. they're the creme de la creme at bad shit happening to maedhros and i wanted someone to cover his corner #this au is awful why am i writing it