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#the best joke i know is me
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<div> Chase & Julia post S4 </div>
Julia
Oh, Devineaux, If your heading out can you please photocopy these documents for me?
Chase
But I’m not going to the copier-
Julia
*sigh* Wow.. Well, okay, I guess I see how it is huh… I’d say I’m disappointed but I’m honestly not surprised. I thought you changed-
Chase
(; ⌣̀_⌣́) Okay fine.
Julia
Great, and can you get me a coffee, my regular, from the break room too? Thank you Chase you are just so helpful! (✺ᵔ‿ᵔ✺)
Chase
(´≖ ‸ ≖)
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Answer

*cracks knuckles* okay let’s see if any of these particular intellectual muscles still work.

I am always pro-cas-being-canonically-dickish posts (even if they are misleading one way or another, more on that later) because dear GOD this fandom loves to infantalize the man. He’s a “baby in a trenchcoat.” He’s dumb about pop culture and clueless about human things isn’t it adorable? SHUT UP!!!! And pls especially shut up if you’re using his ignorance as a way of making another character look cool or smart by comparison. “it’s a shortened version of my name” was 100% Cas fucking with Dean because he is a dick sometimes! and it’s great! Also: Cas’s indifference to pop culture isn’t a weakness just because pop culture knowledge is a major currency on tumblr!!! It’s indicative of the fact that he’s got much bigger and more important things on his mind. (Also. listen. This trait was canonically erased by Metatron and it was literally the only good thing that fucking character ever did so can we please as a fandom just acknowledge that little slice of canon? pls?)

(Can I also just say…..fish out of water stories are only good when they are on the side of the fish and not just using the fish to make jokes. Just. as a note on the trope in general but specifically re: every time this shows up in fanfic with Cas or any other similar character. Thor comes to mind.)

Anyway Cas isn’t a child, he’s ANCIENT and TIRED and CONFLICTED about major moral issues, which is FASCINATING for an angel character and forces us as an audience to consider more deeply the actual differences between heaven and hell, good and evil, destiny and free will. Is this how we expect an angel to behave? What does this tell us about Heaven? If Cas is an aberration, what does that tell us about Heaven and goodness and God? So his expressions of anger and frustration and his impatience with or indifference to human courtesies are a really great part of his character and people should appreciate them more (and not just when it’s funny!)

(Sidenote bc I always think about this when I think about fandom and Cas, the reductive fandom approach to “””crazy!cas””” (what a fun way of saying “deeply affected by horrible trauma and guilt and trying to repress it so he can function.” thanks for that fandom) as comic relief or a woobified victim is. hm. bad. That’s all I’ll say about that one.)

{ANOTHER sidenote, this one for fan artists in particular but fan writers definitely aren’t free from sin: Cas isn’t pale or short and he isn’t a fuckin twink pls stop projecting weird m/f stereotypes onto your queer ships pls and thank}

ANYWAY about these screenshots specifically: Listen I love this post but the context of these scenes is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than Cas being a dick to Sam. They aren’t really about Sam at all, actually. “Don’t ask stupid questions” is such a painful fucking response to Sam asking if he’s okay, because he’s clearly not okay–he’s still struggling with the knowledge that God has given up and abandoned them–but he can’t be vulnerable about it. So he redirects to ask what Sam needs from him because that’s what he does, it’s what he is, he’s a tool. He’s a solution to problems (except his own). And his unwillingness to confront his pain (while also not being able to hide it) isn’t really about his relationship with Sam, it’s about his relationship with God and with himself and his own failures. The visibility of that struggle while he continues to try to help in this episode is just really fucking moving, okay?

Also there’s absolutely nothing hostile about “Sam, of course, is an abomination” in context. Like. Not a damn thing. There’s a task that needs to be performed by a “servant of heaven,” and Cas is explaining why none of the three of them qualify, and we know he feels shame about the fact that HE doesn’t qualify by how he reacts later, calling himself a poor example of an angel. He’s as much an abomination as Sam is in this moment.

Actually you know what? Literally everything in these screenshots that gets interpreted as “Cas hates Sam” is 100% actually Cas hating himself. He hates Sam’s voice while he’s stuck using a human voice himself to communicate, through technology he’s hostile to because it’s limiting compared to angelic communication. He rejects Sam’s compassion because he doesn’t want to talk about his own weakness. He calls Sam an abomination in the same breath that he acknowledges that he isn’t a servant of heaven anymore, and with much less anger than when he later calls himself a poor example of an angel. He sees himself in Sam but he hates himself too much to use that as a point of connection and pushes away from it instead. (I’m not going to go on a shipper detour here but sastiel shippers….you know)

So Cas is angry and complicated and self-hating and yeah, it’s funny, but if you don’t respect those feelings and their complexity, maybe don’t try to write Cas or write about him. Maybe if you only like Cas when he’s making you laugh you don’t actually like Cas.

And this isn’t to be like…”writing fluffy shippy fic with Cas being sweet is bad” or whatever. That fills a need for some people, I get it. I’ve written fic where he’s sweet! There’s a difference between someone lovingly wrapping a character in a blanket and going “nice things will happen for you now” versus using that character for a reductive joke.

There’s also a difference between people who are actually carefully writing fic and people who are, yknow, tagging posts or circulating meme-like gifsets with this kind of commentary. Which, bc I don’t read fic as often anymore, tends to be the most common way anything like analysis of Cas reaches me. I do NOT recommend this method of engaging with fandom because it’s really the worst, unfunniest, most simplistic takes that get repeated over and over again (I would pay money to never see anyone call Sam “moose” or “sammy” again dear lord), and it obscures the actually really good work some folks are doing when they write these characters.

tl;dr 1. Cas is not a child and he is not stupid. 2. Cas doesn’t hate Sam but he DOES project onto him and it’s fascinating. 3. fandom wants to be transformative but bc of meme culture and the way tumblr works it can be painfully reductive and it’s exhausting

ps nb I haven’t watched a single episode since they killed Charlie off and I don’t know much about what happened after that lol. so don’t come at me “well actuallying” bc honestly I don’t care and bc canon has been a dumpster fire for years and all extended analysis of it including my own is really nonsense just by virtue of the source material being nonsense.

pps the showrunners are ABSOLUTELY complicit in this but I can’t. I just cannot get into that. I am too tired.

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i called in late to a work call and have not yet announced myself so idk if they know i’m on lol but they made a good natured joke about me and :’) being thought about when you’re not there 

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Text

due to a moderate family tragedy I’m not sure if I’ll be able to post this week. We’re all handling it really well, and other than that, doing okay and staying safe and healthy. I really want to write, I just can’t seem to get in the right head for it, which is understandable. Grieving takes time. Thursday posts will resume as soon as I can start writing fics again. I love you all and stay safe <3

tw: loss of a pet

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i want to do Experiments and i know we actually have a sledgehammer but i dont know where and i have a feeling asking hey dad can i borrow the sledgehammer would not go over well 

#experiments meaning beat the shit out of a watermelon#YOOOOO WAIT#i have a new idea and it involves a barrel and a lot of gunpowder....#that sounds like a joke but hehe. hehehohohoo#im no stranger to blowing shit up in a metal barrel#the best is when it goes like FWOOF and a big huge puff of smoke comes out bro i miss it#WAIT I STILL HAVE SPARKLERS FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY TOO#they dont blow shit up but they sure make it extra pretty!!! like candles on the watermelon bomb cake#connor pyromania hours#so yeah i dont know how often it comes up but i light shit on fire a lot GUDIASHOILDASLKDJSLKD#literally i used to just start fires in this parking lot by my house#for multiple purposes sometimes i needed to dispose of things but mostly for fun#GODDDDD i remember once i got caught and i thought my ass was SO beat bc i was just out in the open and my dad drove by#and he was like what in the FUCK are you doing and i was like shit i dont have any sort of fucking lie#but all he had to say was dont do that so publicly im not posting your bail if you get arrested at least go down the road more#thanks pops FHLDJKLASJKA#oh and hm i wonder if i got one of those pokers from the old fire place how that would fuck up a melon#it sure fucks up your body i had a cousin thwack me on the leg with one once and it FUCKING HURT#every day she woke up and chose violence that one. she also closed the car trunk on my head once which explains a lot#it was my parents wedding day. ah memories#my oma had to yank my tooth out after bc it was so loose#yknow from the bludgeoning#lol she didnt warn me tho she was just like let me see *RIP* okay sweetie go have fun :)#and i was like oh okay!!! :)#okay im rambling haha oh classic connor with the weird adhd fueled tags#also im dead serious about fucking around with a watermelon actually it might be theraputic#ive dedicated my life to painstaking artistic creation so like... sometimes it feels good to destroy something. fuck it up on purpose yknow?#that was always the best part of building with blocks as a kid you'd marvel at it then get to knock it down and try again#wheres the knocking down part now. i wanna smash things#dan kin moments lol
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