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rockalillygirl · 4 months

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Mamma mia here we go again…

So I have more thoughts because apparently there’s no bottom to the murderbot mindhole I’ve fallen down.

(Spoiler warning- minor stuff from several of the books, pls check tags etc.)

I’ve been reading a lot of things recently exploring Murderbot as an unreliable narrator, which I think is a cool result of System Collapse (because we all know our beloved MB is going through it in this one). There’s also been some interesting related discussion of MB’s distrust of and sometimes biased assessment/treatment of other constructs and bots.

And I’ve been reading a lot about CombatUnits! And I want to talk about them!!

Main thoughts can be summarized as follows:

We don’t see a lot about CombatUnits in the books, and I think what we do see from MB’s pov encourages the reader to view them as less sympathetic than other constructs.

I’m very skeptical of this portrayal for reasons.

The existence of CombatUnits makes me fucking sad and I have a lot of feelings about them!

I got introduced to the idea of MB as an unreliable narrator in a post by onironic It analyzes how in SC, MB seems to distrust Three to a somewhat unreasonable degree, and how it sometimes infantilizes Three or treats it the way human clients have treated it in the past. The post is Amazing and goes into way more detail, so pls go read it (link below):

https://www.tumblr.com/onironic/736245031246135296?source=share

So these ideas were floating around in my brain when I read an article Martha Wells recently published in f(r)iction magazine titled “Bodily Autonomy in the Murderbot Diaries”. I’ll link the article here:

(Rn the only way to access the article is to subscribe to the magazine or buy an e-copy of the specific issue which is $12)

In the article, Wells states that MB displaced its fear of being forced to have sex with humans onto the ComfortUnit in Artificial Condition. I think it’s reasonable to assume that MB also does this with other constructs. With Three, I think it’s more that MB is afraid if what it knows Three is capable of, or (as onironic suggests in their post and I agree with) some jealousy that Three seems more like what humans want/expect a rogue SecUnit to be.

But I want to explore how this can be applied to CombatUnits, specifically.

We don’t learn a lot about them in the books. One appears for a single scene in Exit Strategy, and that’s it. What little else we know comes from MB’s thoughts on them sprinkled throughout the series. To my knowledge, no other character even mentions them (which raises interesting questions about how widely-known their existence is outside of high-level corporate military circles).

When MB does talk about CombatUnits in the early books, it’s as a kind of boogeyman figure (the real “murderbots” that even Murderbot is afraid of). And then when one does show up in ES, it’s fucking terrifying! There’s a collective “oh shit” moment as both MB and the reader realize what it’s up against. Very quickly what we expect to be a normal battle turns into MB running for its life, desperately throwing up hacks as the CombatUnit slices through them just as fast. We and MB know that it wouldn’t have survived the encounter if its humans hadn’t helped it escape. So the CombatUnit really feels like a cut above the other enemies in the series.

And what struck me reading that scene was how the CombatUnit acts like the caricature of an “evil robot” that MB has taught us to question. It seems single-mindedly focused on violence and achieving its objective, and it speaks in what I’d call a “Terminator-esque” manner: telling MB to “Surrender” (like that’s ever worked) and responds to MB’s offer to hack its governor module with “I want to kill you” (ES, pp 99-100).

(Big tangent: Am I the only one who sees parallels between this and how Tlacey forces the ComfortUnit to speak to MB in AC? She makes it suggest they “kill all the humans” because that’s how she thinks constructs talk to each other (AC, pp 132-4). And MB picks up on it immediately. So why is that kind of talk inherently less suspicious coming from a CombatUnit than a ComfortUnit? My headcanon is that I’m not convinced the CombatUnit was speaking for itself. What if a human controller was making it say things they thought would be intimidating? Idk maybe I’ve been reading too many fics where CombatUnits are usually deployed with a human handler. There could be plenty of reasons why the CombatUnit would’ve talked like that. I’m just suspicious.)

(Also, disclaimer: I want to clarify before I go on that I firmly believe that even though MB seems to be afraid of CombatUnits and thinks they’re assholes, it would still advocate for them to have autonomy. I’m not trying to say that either MB or Wells sees CombatUnits as less worthy of personhood or freedom- because I feel the concept that “everything deserves autonomy” is very much at the heart of the series.)

So it’s clear from all of this that MB is scared of CombatUnits and distrusts them for a lot of reasons. I read another breathtaking post by @grammarpedant that gives a ton of examples of this throughout the books and has some great theories on why MB might feel this way. I’ll summarize the ones here that inspired me the most, but pls go read the original post for the full context:

https://www.tumblr.com/grammarpedant/703920247856562177?source=share

OP explains that SecUnits and CombatUnits are pretty much diametrically opposed because of their conflicting functions: Security safeguards humans, while Combat kills them. Of course these functions aren’t rigid- MB has implied that it’s been forced to be violent towards humans before, and I’m sure that extracting/guarding important assets could be a part of a CombatUnit's function. But it makes sense that MB would try to distance itself from being considered a CombatUnit, using its ideas about them to validate the parts of its own function that it likes (protecting people). OP gives what I think is the clearest example of this, which is the moment in Fugitive Telemetry when MB contrasts its plan to sneak aboard a hostile ship and rescue some refugees with what it calls a “CombatUnit” plan, which would presumably involve a lot more murder (FT, p 92).

This reminds me again of what Wells said in the f(r)iction article, that on some level MB is frightened by the idea that it could have been made a ComfortUnit (friction, p 44). I think the idea that it could’ve been a CombatUnit scares it too, and that’s why it keeps distinguishing itself and its function from them. But I think it’s important to point out, that in the above example from FT, even MB admits that the murder-y plan it contrasts with its own would be one made by humans for CombatUnits. So again we see that we just can’t know much about the authentic nature of CombatUnits, or any constructs with intact governor modules, because they don’t have freedom of expression. MB does suggest that CombatUnits may have some more autonomy when it comes to things like hacking and combat which are a part of their normal function. But how free can those choices be when the threat of the governor module still hangs over them?

I think it could be easy to fall into the trap of seeing CombatUnits as somehow more complicit in the systems of violence in the mbd universe. But I think that’s because we often make a false association between violence and empowerment, when even in our world that’s not always the case. But, critically, this can’t be the case for CombatUnits because they’re enslaved in the same way SecUnits and ComfortUnits are (though the intricacies are different).

There was another moment in the f(r)iction article that I found really chilling. Wells states that there’s a correlation between SecUnits that are forced to kill humans and ones that go rogue (friction, p 45). It’s a disturbing thought on its own, but I couldn’t help wondering then how many CombatUnits try to hack their governor modules? And what horrible lengths would humans go to to stop them? I refuse to believe that a CombatUnit’s core programming would make it less effected by the harm its forced to perpetrate. That might be because I’m very anti-deterministic on all fronts, but I just don’t buy it.

I’m not entirely sure why I feel so strongly about this. Of course, I find the situation of all constructs in mbd deeply upsetting. But the more I think about CombatUnits, the more heartbreaking their existence seems to me. There’s a very poignant moment in AC when MB compares ART’s function to its own to explain why there are things it doesn’t like about being a SecUnit (AC, p 33). In that scene, MB is able to identify some parts of its function that it does like, but I have a hard time believing a CombatUnit would be able to do the same. I’m not trying to say that SecUnits have it better (they don’t) (the situation of each type of construct is horrible in it’s own unique way). It’s just that I find the idea of construct made only for violence and killing really fucking depressing. I can’t even begin to imagine the horror of their day-to-day existence.

@grammarpedant made another point in their post that I think raises a TON of important questions not only about CombatUnits, but about how to approach the idea of “function” when it comes to machine intelligence in general. They explain that, in a perfect version of the mbd universe, there wouldn’t be an obvious place for CombatUnits the way there could be for SecUnits and ComfortUnits who wanted to retain their original functions. A better world would inherently be a less violent one, so where does that leave CombatUnits? Would they abandon their function entirely, or would they find a way to change it into something new?

I’ve been having a lot of fun imagining what a free CombatUnit would be like. But in some ways it’s been more difficult than I expected. I’ve heard Wells say in multiple interviews that one of her goals in writing Murderbot was to challenge people to empathize with someone they normally wouldn’t, and I find CombatUnits challenging in exactly that way. Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve felt differently about these books if MB had been a CombatUnit instead of a SecUnit. Would I have felt such an immediate connection to MB if its primary function before hacking its governor module had been killing humans, or if it didn’t have relatable hobbies like watching media? Or if it didn’t have a human face for the explicit purpose of making people like me more comfortable? I’m not sure that I would have.

Reading SC has got me interested in exploring the types of people that humans (or even MB itself) would struggle to accept. So CombatUnits are one of these and possible alien-intelligences are another. All this is merely a small sampling of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my brain-soup! So if anyone is interested in watching me fumble my way through these concepts in more detail, I may be posting “something” in the very near future!

Would really appreciate anyone else’s thoughts about all of THIS^^^^ It’s been my obsession over the holidays and helping me cope with family stress and flying anxiety.

#murderbot diaries #murderbot meta #artificial condition #exit strategy #fugitive telemetry #system collapse #murderbot spoilers #combat unit #FEELINGS #i blink and then it's 2000 words later #jesus christ

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liliths-missing-pen · 9 months

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Infirmary Date With Baul Zigvolt

Summary: Baul finds him in a situation landing him in the camp infirmary where he meets a healer. This first encounter seems to be the first of many.

Character: Baul Zigvolt x F!Reader

Word Count: 522 words

Warnings: ‼️BOOK 7 SPOILERS (SORTA) ‼️ In this one shot the reader will be fae, this is for the canon story to make sense (sebek’s mom being fully fae), also I personally haven't read the translation of book 7 and I'm only taking bits and pieces from my knowledge so everything may not be exact. Mentions of war and blood.

Masterlist

In the midst of a war-torn zone, where chaos and destruction reigned, Baul Zigvolt was immersed in a perilous battle that seemed to be leaning in humans' favour. The valley's once beautiful and stunning surroundings were scarred from the numerous years of battles upon the land.

With each crackling bolt that surged from his magic pen, he dreamed of peace amongst the fae and protecting those he held dear. However, as the battle raged on the humans seemed to be gaining an edge over the fae. A circumstance that many were not expecting. Baul knew that for these upcoming weeks, months or years even that he would be needing to put in his 110% as long as he served with, or even without General Vanrouge.

These were some of the thoughts that raged through his head as he laid on the stretcher waiting for one of the healers to come help as his chest wound continued to ooze out blood. He grunted in pain as he felt the pain get worse. He would get back at those humans and show them that they shall not challenge a Zigvolt!

"Sorry for the wait sir! Lots of fae arrived at one time." You rushed to his side. A young lady with h/c hair, you had your satchel at your side along with their magic pen in hand. Neither of you had the easiest work by far. Yet the man in front of you was staring at you intently, whether it was out of curiosity or eagerness for you to hurry up so then he could get back into battle was a mystery to you.

You peeled back his amour and clothing where the wound was as you couldn't heal it without being able to see what type of damage was done by the wound. "A blunt sword hit…" You mumbled under your breath, it was odd to see these as many soldiers opted to either use magic or sneaker ways to hurt the fae that you've seen walk into camp. "I see they're starting to play more rough and brutal huh?" You asked as you started working your magic to heal him up.

"Yeah," he grunted out. "It seems like they're pumping out new strategies every day.." He informs, you quickly put back his clothing and assist with his amour but seeing his hands battered and littered with big and small scars that blood was seeping out of you couldn't help but take his hands and heal with as well.

"Sorry I couldn't help but see and think how painful those much be." You chuckled embarrassed at your actions but it seemed like the right-hand man of the general had an effect from it.

"I appreciate it, thank you," he stated as he made his exit from the infirmary.

"I hope to see you soon Zigvolt, don't come back too soon!" You said, yet you knew that they wouldn't listen as it was a common occurrence to see Baul Zigvolt and you just hoped that one day, you wouldn't have to see him in the line of duty or war.

#🐉 | lilith’s writing’s #book 7 spoilers #twst spoilers #twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland #baul zigvolt #baul zigvolt x reader #twisted wonderland diasomnia #twst diasomnia #diasomnia #baul zigvolt fluff #twst book 7 spoilers

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nikethestatue · 4 months

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How can someone like Yaz with a large followers don’t see how obvious the next book is going to be Elain and that Azriel is the love interest? Bloggers like Yaz that thoroughly analyze every book they read just don’t SEE it? It makes me question everything she says about the other books. I know a someone that isn’t SJM fan and only reads ACOTAR once and shrugged that it’s obviously Elain next and Az is her endgame, so predictable. She scoffed.

I do NOT understand this fandom. Is it the pride thing? They don’t want to admit that they wrong? Where does this hate for Elain come from? Gwyn who is only a secondary character (easily forgotten ) becomes a big deal? What about Vassa?! Vassa is hotter and I’m excited about her story. When comes to her.. *cricket*

Well F ** it, I’m getting whiskey. Merry Christmas!

I don't know exactly, but I'd go with pride too.

Like you get caught up in something in the beginning, it's a combo of wishful thinking and excitement and you start thinking, hey, maybe I am on to something. And then there is a following. And it's growing. Because it's 2021 and everyone is completely crazy. And all you hear is Gwynriel, Gwynriel.

So you go, shit, I WAS right! It IS Gwynriel.

But slowly, but surely, things settle down. It's 2023 now and nobody really cares about Gwynriel as much as they did in 2021. In 2 months, it would be 3 years since ACOSF's release. 3 years is a long time.

So what do you do. You do re-reads and repeat the same stuff as before. Or you completely ignore Elain and her parts, like she is not even there. Or you start building an exit strategy and saying 'well, there was always a possibility of Elriel' and ' I trust SJM to write it right'. Then Elain's book is announced, and you pivot hard.

I don't know. Facts matter. You can't ignore certain things, because you don't like them, and then act angry or surprised, when things go the way you didn't want them to.

Even AI predicted Elriel. Someone posed the question to AI, on who would certain characters end up with, and AI chose Elriel. Every time. The only other couple it said had a possibility was Lucien and Vassa.

Cheers to you! I'll get some whiskey too. Merry Christmas.

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ilovedthestars · 2 months

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I don’t know how to do this but for your ask game, Mensah?

Hi Bardic!! don't worry, you did a great job!!

(Send me a character ask game)

First impression

The thing with Murderbot fandom is that I saw a lot of fandom stuff before I actually read the books, so my first impressions were largely formed by other people's analysis. So...probably the general fandom consensus that she's competent, caring, and a Favorite Human not only of Murderbot but many readers as well.

Impression now

I love her!! I like all the PresAux humans for different reasons, but if I have to pick a favorite, it's probably Mensah. She's admirable in so many ways, but still has faults--like the assumptions she makes about what Murderbot wants at the end of ASR, which she learns from after it leaves. She feels so human, which is both a sign of excellent character writing and a perfect counterpoint to Murderbot and its blend of humanness and inhumanity.

Favorite moment

Oh, there are so many to choose from. If I have to pick...something from Exit Strategy, which pre-System Collapse was probably my favorite book in the series (and could still give SC a run for its money). I can't decide between that moment of reunion--the ping, the tell me your name, the hug--and that moment in the shuttle when she grabs it by the collar and tells it No. It probably has to be that one--I will never be over the moment when Murderbot realizes she isn't afraid of it, and it doesn't want her to be.

Idea for a story

Besides that animatic I had in the works a while back (i have no idea when I'll get back to it, but I hope to someday)...

I had a fic idea a while back, inspired by other fic authors' takes on a similar idea, where Mensah talks to an old associate who works with augments, and arranges a way for Murderbot to have its company logos removed. I second-guessed how to handle various aspects of that a lot, but I did enjoy the Emotions it included. It's on the big pile of Things I May Or May Not Ever Finish Writing, alas (but I'd be willing to dig it up and share some snips if anyone's interested)

Unpopular opinion

I don't think Mensah is that controversial lol? I guess maybe...as much as I like ART, I do wish we got to spend more time with Mensah and Murderbot, on Preservation (or elsewhere). They mean a lot to each other, and I would love to linger with their relationship more. I can hope for her to return in future books, although it seems unlikely she'll appear in the next one. Speaking of which, I wanted a little more closure with her and Murderbot at the end of System Collapse (which is why I ended up writing it myself when given the chance for the gift exchange)

Favorite relationship

Murderbot & Mensah, no question. They are peak platonic love and deep, deep care for each other that mostly goes unspoken but is always, always felt. She was one of the first people to really see it, to know it as a person. It ran away from her and then turned back to save her life yet again. She trusts it with her life. It trusts her with its safety. She's its favorite human. They gave us the phrase "I really like you, not in a weird way" as a way for all us fans to say we love each other like they love each other. They make my little aro heart so happy <3

Favorite headcanon

....I'm drawing a blank on this one, honestly? I have trouble drawing the line between a personal interpretation of canon and a headcanon sometimes. But I can't think of anything specific that I headcanon about Mensah.

Thank you for the ask! <3

#ask game answers #murderbot #mensah #stars has thoughts #i love mensah so much you picked a good one #btw bardic you're killing it at this tumblr thing

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forestlore · 1 year

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I need your teeth in me, slow and vicious, to tell me my armor is just skin, bones, only bones.

Jamaal May, "The Whetting of Teeth," The Big Book of Exit Strategies

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thoughtfulfangirling · 3 months

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2024 Reads

Another human invented marker of time has passed moving us from one year to the next. It's a good reason to start over my lists right?! XD 2023's list can be found here! 2024 starts below!

You Made a Fool out of Death with Your Beauty - Awaeke Emezi

Pussypedia: A Comprehensive Guide^ - Zoe Mendelson & Maria Conejo

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek -Kim Michele Richardson

Meru - S.B. Divya

The Cadaver King and the Country Dentist: A True Story of Injustice in the American South^ by Radley Balko & Tucker Carrington

Watching the Tree: A Chinese Daughter Reflects on Happiness, Tradition, and Spiritual Wisdom^ - Adeline Yen Mah

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

The Last Days of the Romanovs: Tragedy at Ekaterinburg^ - Helen Rappaport]

Pride and Prejudice* - Jane Austen

Fresh Girl - Jaida Placide

Butts: A Backstory^ - Heather Radke

The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen

The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides

The Blue Sword - Robin McKinley

In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex^ - Nathaniel Philbrick

A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the 1846 U.S. Invasion of Mexico^ - Amy S. Greenberg

This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed: How Guns Made the Civil Rights Movement Possible^ - Charles E. Cobb Jr.

This Is Your Mind on Plants^ - Michael Pollan

The Silent Patient*~ - Alex Michaelides

Finding Me^ - Viola Davis

Wuthering Heights# - Emily Bronte

Exit Strategy~ - Martha Wells

The Girls Who Went Away:^ The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe V. Wade - Ann Fessler

Bowling Alone:^ The Collapse and Revival of American Community - Robert D. Putnam

Fugitive Telemetry%~ - Martha Wells

The History of Wales^*% - History Nerds

The War on Everyone^% ~- Robert Evans

Searching for Black Confederates:^ The Civil War's Most Persistent Myth - Kevin M. Levin

The Great Influenza:* The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History [2004] by John M. Barry

Network Effect~ - Martha Wells

Zelda Popkin:^ The Life and Times of an American Jewish Woman Writer - Jeremy D Popkin

Currently reading: Zelda Popkins: The Life and Times of an American Jewish Woman Writer and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

Key: * = Reread ^ = Nonfiction ~ = Read with Empty % = Novella #= Doc book club

My goal for 2024 is for 40% of my reads to be nonfiction. I've had two years within the recent past where I managed 20% of my reads to be nonfiction, so I'm aiming to double that. THIS WILL BE HARD FOR ME! Not because I don't enjoy nonfiction but because I enjoy fiction a lot more and have a lot more practice reading it. Haha Also for me, I am in circles where I'm just going to have more awareness of fictional books that I'm likely to enjoy more so than nonfiction. I'm kind of hoping that this years journey will change that a bit too!

Okay, below the cut I'm putting the nonfiction books on my tbr, most of which I have the lovely people of Tumblr to thank for the recommendations!

1968: The Year that Rocked the World

The Age of Wood; Our Most Useful Material...

The Assassination of Fred Hampton

Behind the Scenes: Or, Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the...

Being Human:

The Big Oyster: History on the Half Shelf

Birdseye: The Adventures of a Curious Man

Bowling Alone

Brave the Wild: The Untold Story of Two Women Who Mapped...

Butts: A Backstory / Evermore Recommended

The Cadaver Kin and the Country Dentist / Automatuck9

Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America

Dancing in the Glory of Monsters: The Collapse...

Dear Senthuran

DisneyWar

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with...

Finding Me (Viola Davis)

The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed...

The Food of a Younger Land

The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women...

The Glass Universe

The Great Hunger: The Story of the Famine...

The Great Influenza

Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of an Abused Woman

The History of Ireland

The History of Scotland

The History of Wales

How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

The Indifferent Stars Above

In the Heart of the Sea / ecouterbien

In the Wake of the Plague: The Black Death...

The Indifferent Stars Above

The Last Days of the Romanovs / Automatuck9

Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical...

Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During the Crisis...

A New World Begins

Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous...

This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get you Killed / Empty

Radium Girls

The Road to Jonestown

Paper: Paging through History

People's Temple

Pussypedia / Bookstagram Rec

Salt: A World History

Say Nothing

Sea Biscuit: An American legend

Searching for Black Confederates

This is Your Mind on Plants

Unmasking Autism

The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes - And Why

Watching the Tree / found all by my little self

We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow we Will be Killed...

A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the.. / Rose

The Writing of the Gods: The Race to Decode the Rosetta...

I will actually add to this list as I get more recs and whatnot. And I still have some coming which I ordered from Thriftbooks. Once those are here, I'll add those. I'm a little sad there aren't more memoirs, but there's plenty of time for that yet! This is already 37 books, and given lately I've been reading about 70 (nonfiction may slow me down tho), these should give me plenty of ability to reach my 40% goal. Now it's just a matter of if I do it XD

#tfg reads #2024 Reading List #Books #tbr #Do I usually wait until I actually have more than one book read?#Uh yeah woops haha #Ah well I was eager to get my goal written to hold myself accountable #I'm really enjoying pussypedia!#So a promising start #I also have a silent private goal of some other nonfiction I want to get to #but it's going to be especially hard so that will wait to see if I can even get started XD #la de da #silly tfg #reading #my reading index

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ofliterarynature · 4 months

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NOVEMBER 2023 WRAP UP

[ loved liked ok no thanks (reread) DNF ]

The Moonstone • Chaos Terminal • (The Raven Boys) • The Ghosts of Trappist • (Fugitive Telemetry) • From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler • The Art of Destiny • The Bell in the Fog • (Exit Strategy) • Who Goes There? • Salt Magic Skin Magic • The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up • (Dracula) • (Rogue Protocol) • The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store • The Boneshaker • The Archive Undying • (The Scorpio Races) • Camilla

Total: 18 (audiobook: 15 / ebook: 3)

I started my month off by finishing my reread of The Scorpio Races on November 1, as is right and proper :) This has consistently been my favorite of Maggie's books, and it never feels right the years that I haven't reread it. I think I hit the right method this year and rather than binging it or following a structured reread (which would be cool, if you could match the timeline of the book) I listened to the audiobook on and off throughout Oct and finished it off in one last burst one the 1st. I think this is some of Maggie's best writing, but I also admit I am no longer able to judge this one objectively and will save you all the sales pitch for now :)

The Archive Undying was...confusing. It wasn't that I couldn't follow what was happening on the sentence level or in the immediate present, but try zooming out to the larger picture and I was lost. It was hazy, very much like a fever dream. I would not be opposed to trying some of the author's other work in the future, but I have no interest in revisiting this book/series, and wouldn't really recommend.

The Boneshaker has been sitting on my bookshelf for years ever since I picked it up at a library book sale, and it's managed to survive every shelf purge since. And I'm glad it did! It's a strange MG/YA book about a girl, her bicycle, a small western town just off a crossroads, a snakeoil salesman, his medicine show, and deals with the devil. It was fascinating! I've been almost tempted to send a copy to Sydnee McElroy just for fun. I will definitely be investigating the author's other series.

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store - I got tempted into this one because the Book Riot Podcast couldn't stop singing it's praises, and then it started making some of the year end/best of lists and... it's ok I guess? I don't really get the hype, tbh, and I got close to DNFing because it just wasn't interesting. I was at least forewarned that the "murder mystery" in the marketing was overblown, but I am here to tell you to ignore its existence completely. There is no mystery, there isn't really even a murder, and it doesn't happen until the end of the book anyway. I fully admit this was just not a book for me, and anyone who wants to read it I wish you well.

Not much to say about my Murderbot reread, other than choosing to give the audiobooks a break and rereading in a text format was an excellent choice, I really feel like I've picked up on a lot of things I didn't before, and it gives me time to think about things (I have some questions about the actual irl existence of rogue secunits, tbh). This is my second full time trough the series, and I think Exit Strategy is maybe the weakest solo link in the original quartet, but that makes me very happy to have the newer books as well. And I have to say it, FUGITIVE TELEMETRY IS BETTER IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

Dracula Daily wrapped up this month, so I'm probably not the only one to have Dracula show up on their reading list. I listened to most of it via RE: Dracula, which I appreciated so much for helping keep me on track this year. I probably won't follow along next year, but big thanks to everyone for helping me learn to enjoy a book I hated both times I had to read it for school! I'll still be percolating that Greenwing & Dart AU somewhere in the back of my mind in the meantime.

I picked up the idea of "sparking joy" from the general internet and have found it hugely helpful in letting go of things in life, so I've been meaning to pick up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up for a while, and was finally spurred into it when I picked up a copy at goodwill. I found some actionable advice in Kondo's method, but sooo much of the book felt like a sales pitch on how following this method could fix everything wrong in your life (and I mean *everything*). It left a very bad taste in my mouth - I think a workbook or checklist could be useful, but wouldn't recommend the book itself.

Salt Magic Skin Magic is a historical fantasy with magic, adventure, and a gay romance, which is so entirely in my wheelhouse. It hit all the same points I tend to find/enjoy in KJ Charles' work, and I had such a good time reading this - no surprise, apparently she helped edit this! Thanks to the HOTE discord group for reccing this one, I'll definitely be checking out some of the author's other work!

If you didn't know, Who Goes There? is the short story that the movie The Thing was based on - which I have not seen, but I went on a brief dive into antarctic exploration/horror in anticipation of this month's book club (All the White Spaces, which I actually read for last month but that meeting got delayed) and this popped up pretty quickly. It was available from the library and short, so why not?! The beginning felt a little rough, but I would have loved to see the tension of the main plot drawn out even longer. Liked this a lot better than the actual book club book, but I don't know that I'll watch any of the adaptations.

The Bell in the Fog - Lavender House sequel! I was so glad when this was announced; I love queer books, historical books, a mystery with a lead who actually does some detecting, and a character trying to find themselves and their community? Absolute catnip for me. It also doesn't pull its punches about the violence and injustices faced by the queer community, so it's definitely a bit darker than my usual tastes and will have to try hard to make it onto my favorites list. But if the author continues to write these I will absolutely pick them up.

The Art of Destiny - bless the library for not dragging their heels on the audiobook for this sequel, but lucky me, they did finally add the first book in time for me to get them both in the same year. Unlucky me, this does not appear to be the end of this series D: third book when??? Anyway, I won't deny that these books move a little slowly, but when they move, they move. If you want a big fantasy that's diverse, funny, cartoonish but epically violent, has a cast of all ages, and centers it's story on non-romantic relationships - this is so good, come join me in wailing for a book 3 announcement.

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler has lived in the back of my mind for a while as a favorite childhood book of a booklr friend who is sadly no longer on tumblr, but who I say hi to occasionally on other sites - anyways, I found a copy at goodwill and took it as a sign. This one's for you, Lourdes! If I'd found this as a kid, I probably would have reread it a lot, that's how I was too lol. For now, it was a fine read, but I don't think it'll have a lasting hold. Any fans interested in more middle grade about fine art might check out the Chasing Vermeer series by Blue Balliett.

The Ghosts of Trappist - I think it's impossible for me to not enjoy myself reading this series (NeoG), but this one was a bit of a backslide from the improvements in book 2. On one hand - a very ambitious plot, probably the least soap-operaish of the bunch, and I loved the emotional arcs (and the possible ART/murderbot reference?). On the other - over a dozen pov characters is too too many. my god. I think a tighter focus could have done a world of good, but if this is also where the series wraps up I'd be totally satisfied. I'll definitely check out the author's other series.

I admit, rereading The Scorpio Races sparked something in me and now I'm determined to set off on a full Maggie Stiefvater read/reread, starting with The Raven Boys. I really loved this when it first came out, but my interested petered out as the series progressed and I started college, and I haven't touched the spinoff yet. My impression from the first book is still that Maggie's writing is so goddam beautiful. Her sentences make me want to weep, but for me there's so much focus on the line that I'm constantly losing track of the big picture. I'm still enjoying myself, but I feel like I'm coasting a lot on nostalgia and aesthetic between moments of a story - though is it me, or does she write a lot in scenes/vignettes, rather than a constant flowing story? I've found some success in centering myself by imagining the scenes as depicted by a CW supernatural teen show of my high school years and it's quite lovely, actually - I can't believe the TV show plans got dropped and never picked up again. We'll have to see how the rest of the series goes.

Genuinely, I can't believe that I read Station Eternity earlier this year and that the sequel, Chaos Terminal, is out already. Despite liking the author's first book (Six Wakes) and normally liking the tropes they're playing with here, I did not like the first book. No idea why I read the second one then (hope?), but it was better, definitely! I still didn't like it. No idea if I'll finally call it quits on this series or get lured into another one if it gets written.

The Moonstone was an unexpected surprise! I made it to November still 2 books short on my 6 classics challenge and panicked when the first one ended up dnf'd - what if this one was bad too??? But I really should know better, give me a half decent mystery and entertaining characters, and I'll be fine. And it was epistolary! I had a good time groaning over all of the characters foibles and quirks, even if I spent the whole time just going, Hey Guys? you could avoid all of this if you just let the nice Indian men have their diamond back. Good fun if you like a mystery and have some patience.

My only DNF this month was the previously mentioned classic - from the moment I decided on a classics challenge, I knew I wanted to try something by Frances Burney given how much I liked her novel Evelina. Unfortunately for me, the only one the library had on audiobook was Camilla... and it was 37 hours long. I gave it a shot, but only made it about 3 hours in. I really do applaud Burney for her ability to create characters who are intentionally/unintentionally causing harm even if they sometimes have the best of intentions. It's absurd, truly, but I'm not in a place I can take that right now - especially since the victims were children, and it happened *repeatedly*. I think if I was to try this one again I'd need to take it slowly in small parts.

Am I horribly wrong about anything? Do you have any classics you'd recommend for next year?

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years

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Uber's still not profitable

Uber just released its Q2 numbers for 2022 and trumpeted that it had finally achieved cash-flow positivity — and it only took 13 years and $32 billion in losses! So has Uber finally turned a corner? Will the company finally attain profitability and repay those billions?

Nope.

The best analyst of Uber’s financial disclosures — as always — is Hubert Horan, a transport analyst who has made a second career out of debullshitifying Uber’s balance-sheet deceptions, proving that the company is a bezzle (“the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it”).

https://horanaviation.com/publications-uber

Every bezzle ends. Uber’s days are, therefore, numbered. But Uber is a bezzle, and so long as new suckers can be found to buy up the company’s stock, its existing investors can cash out and run for the hills in advance of the collapse. Uber management devotes substantial energy to polishing turds, bringing a deceptive gleam to each quarter’s results to lure in new money.

Last quarter, Uber trumpeted its first profitable quarter.

They lied.

In February, Horan did an especially fantastic job dissecting Uber’s lies revealing the accounting tricks behind Uber’s Q1 profitability. The main trick was this: Uber had been forced to sell off unprofitable overseas divisions in China, Russia and Southeast Asia. The company had spent billions trying to enter these markets…and failed.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/11/bezzlers-gonna-bezzle/#gryft

The buyers for these divisions paid back a fraction of Uber’s squanderings. Worse, the buyers — Uber copycats that were also losing money — didn’t pay Uber in cash. Rather, they paid in their illiquid, doomed stock, which they had assigned sky-high valuations to, borrowing a leaf from Uber’s own ledger-books.

So Uber sold off unprofitable divisions, writing off billions. It swapped these divisions for junk shares in doomed companies whose own accounts were works of absolute fiction. It claimed those junk shares were worth vast fortunes, called them an “investment,” and declared that it had turned a profit. That was the secret to Uber’s Q1/22 profits.

Even if you accept Uber’s bizarre valuations of these companies, this maneuver should not send you out to buy Uber stock. After all, if the only way Uber can turn a profit is to sell off overseas divisions and exit major markets, the company won’t be “profitable” for very long. Claiming to have turned a profit by selling off a third of the company is like claiming to have saved yourself from starvation by eating both your legs. What are you going to eat tomorrow?

Which takes us neatly to Q2–2022 (and H1–2022), where, once again, Uber is claiming to have attained profitability. How have they managed this incredible trick? Is the company finally going to deliver on its $32b promise of losing money on every ride but making it up in volume?

Nope.

Horan’s latest analysis lays bare the latest bag of accounting tricks deployed by the company, summed up in a single line: “Uber has completely abandoned its original, failed corporate strategy, and has reverted to a lousier version of what traditional taxis had been doing for years.”

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2022/08/hubert-horan-can-uber-ever-deliver-part-thirty-one-ubers-legitimate-cumulative-losses-top-32-billion-pl-improvements-driven-by-much-higher-fares-and-multi-billion-dollar-transfers-from.html

Anyone who’s taken an Uber since the lockdowns lifted knows that the company’s prices have skyrocketed. What you may not know (unless you drive for Uber) is that the company has also slashed driver pay over that same period — over the past year, Uber’s share of each fare climbed from 18% to 28%, a 66% increase in the shareholders’ claim over the fruits of Uber drivers’ labor.

This is a big deal! In Q2 alone, Uber transferred $2.8b from its drivers to its shareholders. If the company can keep that up, it will make its shareholders $11b richer (and its drivers $11b poorer) in 2022.

But how long can the company sustain this practice? After all, Uber drivers are living through the Great Resignation, the tightest labor market in a generation, with businesses of all kinds desperate to lure them out of their cars. Hell, Uber drivers can just switch to driving taxis and get a raise (many Uber drivers are cab drivers who switched when Uber’s $32b investor cash firehose funded predatory low prices and driver subsidies).

Just as Uber must use unsustainable tricks to keep investors from bailing on an unprofitable enterprise, the company needs tricks to keep drivers behind the wheel even as it steals their wages. The latest trick? Letting drivers see riders’ locations and drop-offs before they accept a job.

Now, this is absolutely a good thing for drivers. The idea that Uber drivers are “independent contractors” was always a tissue-thin fiction, but never so much as when the company dictated that these “independent contractors” wouldn’t be allowed to know what jobs they were saying yes to, and how much those jobs would pay, before agreeing to them.

But for Uber to live up to its own mythology, it had to lie to its drivers, because at its core, the Uber myth was that it would replace yellow cabs with cars that would make runs to unprofitable exurbs that no driver would freely choose to service (while charging rates so low that drivers couldn’t survive on their pay).

Uber drivers were never going to freely choose to make runs to outlying areas and then “deadhead” back to the center of town, earning nothing as they made their way back to the place where their next fare was waiting. The only way to get drivers to make these runs was through coercion: first, hide where the next job was until the driver accepted it; next, penalize drivers who cancelled unprofitable jobs after accepting them.

When Uber announced that it would finally let its “independent” drivers know what jobs they were saying yes to in advance of acceptance, it trumpeted this as a benefit to riders, because it would lead to “fewer cancelled rides.” What it failed to mention was that this was because it would lead to fewer accepted rides. That is, rather than having to wait longer because drivers tapped “accept,” realized they’d lose money on your business, and tapped “cancel,” you would now wait longer because drivers just didn’t accept your run.

Thus, Horan’s conclusion that “Today, Uber is offering much worse service at much higher prices than the traditional taxi industry that it had ‘disrupted.’ Traditional taxis were unpopular because the only way they could keep fare revenues and costs aligned was to limit service to the densest, highest demand neighborhoods (maximizing revenue utilization and avoiding empty backhauls) and rationing service during big demand peaks…Today, Uber offers the same poor service as traditional taxis, but must charge enormously higher fares because of its much higher cost structure.”

Uber’s balance-sheet shell games demand that we credulously accept its claim to gains while ignoring the costs of those gains. In service to this, the company produces exceptionally opaque accounts that do not break out specific revenue sources and costs, using coarse topline measures to make it hard to fact-check its claims.

Nevertheless, Horan sleuths out some important figures. In 2019, Uber was running a negative 40% net margin (losing $0.40 for every dollar it brought in). It was spending $5.16 on the average trip, and averaging $1.89 in revenue on each trip.

In the past year, Uber has increased its year-over-year revenue by 105%, and its operating expenses went up by 72%. Today, the company earns $4.39 per trip and spends $4.69 per trip, narrowing its Q2–2022 operating margin to -8.8% and its net margin to -11.4%.

Hypothetically, if the company continues to raise prices and cut worker pay, it can continue to narrow the gap until it breaks even. But can Uber actually do that?

Nope.

Take Uber’s wage-bill. The company bet big on formalizing its program of worker misclassification, teaming up with Lyft and other gig-work companies to spend $225m to pass California’s Proposition 22, which would allow the company to abuse its drivers with impunity. But sloppy drafting errors led to the California Supreme Court striking down Prop 22 in its entirety. A similar attempt to pass a worker misclassification ballot initiative in Massachusetts also failed, not even making it to the ballot thanks to a misleading summary in the voter guide. The Massachusetts debacle cost its backers $100m.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/15/simple-as-abc/#a-big-ask

The failure to formalize worker misclassification, combined with a historically unprecedented tight labor market, combined with rising federal and public support for unions, is extremely bad news for businesses whose path to profitability depended on workers so desperate that they would put in 16 hours days and still need food stamps. No wonder there’s a coordinated effort among the capital classes to engineer a global recession:

https://twitter.com/StephanieKelton/status/1555306569943891968

When it comes to customers, remember that riders have alternatives to Uber. Take Lyft, the uber-alike backed by billionaire Trump donor Peter Thiel (inexplicably, Lyft has cultivated a reputation as “the good Uber”). While Lyft follows Uber’s lead in failing to break out gross customer payments, its revenue relative to volumes only grew by 12% in Q2, while Uber’s grew by 66%. This means that Lyft is doing less gouging (of riders or drivers, or both) than Uber.

Lyft, like Uber, is a bezzle, and like Uber, Lyft is desperate for misleading accounting figures that it can trumpet to investors to goose its share price so the original scammers and their early marks can exit, clutching bags of cash. A campaign by Lyft that aimed at Uber’s spiraling prices could easily tempt Uber riders into becoming Lyft drivers (likewise, a campaign aimed at drivers promising a greater share of revenues could prompt an exodus of Uber drivers).

As tech stocks (and other speculative asset classes, like crypto) crater, gamblers are desperate for a new sure thing, and both Uber and Lyft have benefitted from that. The companies’ misleading Q2 figures prompted a rise in their stock prices.

That rise can be entirely attributed to three magic words: “Adjusted EBITDA Profitability.” Or, more specifically, one word: Adjusted.

One year while I was teaching the Viable Paradise workshop, one of the other instructors handed out a piece of absolutely invaluable writing advice. James D Macdonald gave a lecture to the students on how to write about guns. Macdonald is a veteran with extensive firearms experience, and he explained how even minor technical errors in a writer’s depiction of a gun would prompt floods of derision from his fellow Gun People.

But, Jim explained, there is an easy fix for this. Just add the word “modified” to any gun you write into a scene. If your protagonist takes aim with a modified Glock 19 and then accomplishes something technically impossible with a stock Glock 19, the gun-obsessives in your readership will tie themselves in imaginative knots to figure out what fiendishly clever modification you had in mind, and credit you for your deep knowledge of firearms.

“Adjusted EPITDA” is the “modified Glock 19” of balance sheets. Its subtext is, “Well, lesser companies may use generally accepted accounting practice to report their finances, but here at Uber, we know so much more than them that we have created our own, superior form of accountancy. If you doubt its superiority, merely consider that with plain old EBIDTA, our company is hemorrhaging billions, but once we adjust that EBIDTA, we are raking in fortunes! Who can deny our brilliance‽‽”

Just as Douglas Adams’ hitchhikers carried a towel for its “immense psychological value,” Uber and Lyft derive great PR value from their “adjustments” to their balance sheets. Non-hitchhikers assum that any hitchhiker with a towel “will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc.”

More importantly, that non-hitchhiker “will then happily lend the hitch iker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have ‘lost.’” Likewise, the self-styled “brilliant investors” who are mid-bezzle and still think they have the money the confidence trickster has made off with will look at that word “adjusted” and assume the managers at Uber are on a glide path to world dominance.

Uber’s bag of tricks is nearing its bottom. Its fantasy of magic, self-driving robo-taxis is over (the company spent $2.5b to make a car that had a fatal crash every 0.25 miles, and then had to pay another company $400m to take the division off its hands):

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/08/required-reading/#goober

Same for the fantasy that it can attain profitability by throwing billions at failed overseas expansions and then make up for it by “selling” those companies to other failing businesses who claim their useless stock is worth a fortune.

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2022/02/hubert-horan-can-uber-ever-deliver-part-twenty-nine-despite-massive-price-increases-uber-losses-top-31-billion.html

Also the fantasy that all Uber needed was to jettison the rapey frat-bro who founded the company and replace him with a cultured fellow who thinks rape is bad, actually:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/16/style/uber-ceo-dara-khosrowshahi.html

But every bezzle ends. The Saudi royals — who provided much of the billions used to prop up the Uber bezzle in its first decades — cashed out with the company’s IPO. The company may lure in some new suckers and delay the exodus of current bag-holders with its current fantasy of infinite price-hikes and wage theft, but that’s a fantasy, too.

Riders who face spiraling prices will drive their own cars, or take a bus, or take a cab, or take a Lyft. Drivers who face spiraling wage-cuts will drive a cab, or take a job elsewhere, or switch to Lyft. Uber is a bezzle, and every bezzle ends.

Image: JERRYE AND ROY KLOTZ MD (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:LA_BREA_TAR_PITS,_LOS_ANGELES.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: A mammoth drowning in tar, from the La Brea Tar Pits. Next to the sinking mammoth is a sinking Uber logo. In the opposite corner is a sinking business-man whose head has been replaced by a bag of money. Running diagonally across the whole image is a jagged, declining red line as from a stock-chart.]

#pluralistic

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lemidnightlitterareur · 4 months

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“I suppose you’re wondering why I invited you here,” Gortash said as he poured the wine, offering a glass to his guest.

“ Well, yes. Of course I'm curious ” Leah replied, taking the drink and crossing her legs, “If it was Guild business it would have been my mother you had bundled into a carriage in the middle of the night and by now you would not be breathing and Nine Fingers Keene would be walking out of here with wet blades.” She took a breath and a sip of the fine red she had been served before she continued. “You want something done off the books. Don’t you, Enver?”

Gortash held out his arms wide, “You have me!” He smiled, “ But I very much doubt you can guess the topic of our conversation.” He pulled up a chair opposite Leah and made himself comfortable.

“No. Because I'm not a mind reader, mate.” She sat back in her chair, levelling her gaze at the man in front of her. Her face was carefully blank as she waited for the negotiations to begin.

“I want to have your mother assassinated and install you as the new Underduke.” He stated, plainly as if it were nothing. His eyes narrowed behind steepled fingers as he waited for her reaction.

“I’m sorry, what?” She placed her glass down on the side table carefully. “What the fuck - did you just say?”

“I have big plans for Baldur’s Gate. Huge. And I need someone I can rely on at the helm of the Thieves Guild. I think that someone is, you”

Leah's mind was in full on flight mode. Working out her exit strategy as she stalled for time. “Me? Why me? And why do you think I'd let you kill my mother?”

“Several reasons actually. Chiefly - this: She had that masked bean counter Uktar break your poor little heart. Even made him choose. Between you his “love” and his position in the Guild. Didn’t even have to threaten to break his legs. She showed you his true colours and you hated her for it. So why continue to do her bidding? Take away the only thing she truly cares about, the Guild. An eye for an eye, Leah.”

“What’s the point if she's dead?” Leah tapped her nails on the carved arm of the chair, “If - and only IF mind you, id want her alive to see me take it apart bit by bit, everything she's built, crumbling into dust.” She spoke through gritted teeth, her mind racing. There was no way she was leaving this room alive if she refused. No guarantee if she agreed either. She knew the bastard fancied her. The few times that they had met he had made it more than obvious. Even now he undressed her with his eyes.

“I'm sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something that will benefit us both,” he sat forward on his chair, leaning towards her.

So she mirrored his movements, held his eye contact. Flirted a little. If there was one thing men like him were willing to believe it was what they wished to be true.

Sometimes when you want to get out of a room in one piece you have to use what you’ve got and of course there is no harm in enjoying it - once you get past the ick.

Leah's cheek pressed into the polished gloss of the solid wooden desktop. Grunting through gritted teeth as Enver Gortash roughly pulled down her leathers, revealing her bare skin. She felt his gloved hands caressing her, parting her. Gasping quietly as he stared at his prize. His thumb brushed over her tight little arsehole with reverence, down past her wet, waiting core and rubbed her clit until she began to mewl and shiver. Leah groaned with disappointment when he stopped and received a hearty chuckle in response.

“Patience, darling.” He cautioned, smugly. “All good things come to those who wait.”

Gortash folded her arms behind her back and held her wrists together tightly. The thrill of seeing her like this was almost enough to end him right there. To empty himself in his trousers like an excitable young boy. He took a deep breath, centering himself. Controlling himself.

He slowly entered her with a long groan, savouring her tight heat when he bottomed out inside her. “My darling, you are exquisite.” He breathed, tightening his grip on her small wrists. When he started to move he made long, slow thrusts. Taking his sweet time now he finally had her. Exalting on each stroke when he filled her completely. Her moans of pleasure filled his chest with pride, that his cock could move her so.

“Please,” she begged, unable to stand such a slow pace, “I need…” she cried out sharply as Envers hand connected with her ass, shocked into silence by the full-on slap she had just received. Her eyes wide as he continued on without missing a beat.

“Be good and you will receive everything you desire,” his voice was husky with arousal. “Misbehave and you will receive another one.” The longer Leah stayed silent the harder he drilled into her. Accepting only her moans and wails to spur him on.

Leah's eyes rolled and her mouth hung open, a small puddle of drool gathering on the desk beneath her cheek. An aching storm gathered between her legs as Gortash savagely rearranged her insides. Leah felt his weight shift when her moans intensified. Her wrists were freed and his thick body covered hers pressing her leather wrapped breasts into the desk beneath. His hand snaked beneath her armpit to grip her throat as he continued to fuck her relentlessly, loud wet slaps echoing through the halls of his house.

“You will not come until I tell you to. Is that understood?” He ordered, his mouth on her ear as he pulled back on her neck.

Leah groaned, her face red with effort. Eyes bloodshot. “Mmhhmmm” was all she could manage. His fingers dug into her throat leaving her struggling for breath. Her vision began to narrow, still he pummelled her cunt. Suddenly she was released just when she thought she would die.

“Come for me” he whispered and that's all it took. The dam broke and Leah's body betrayed her. She came - hard. Wave after aching wave radiated from her clit. Surging through her body making her grunt and groan animalistically. Gortash followed her pulling out his cock and shooting his thick load all over her ass with a shuddering groan. Gasping as his come splattered over her.

Leah's emotions almost got the better of her but she managed to hold off her burgeoning tears. The relief of the orgasm coupled with the shame of letting it happen made her feel dirty. The kind that would never wash off. It was almost over. All she had to do now was make it out of the door. Easier said than done.

Leah stayed face down on the desk when she felt Gortash move away. He returned with a warm wet cloth and began to clean up his mess. “You learn quickly,” he praised, “Clever Girl. You can get up now, you're all clean.”

Leah stood, stiff and sore. She pulled up her pants and buckled up her belt. Careful to keep a satisfied smile painted on her face. Relaxed and happy. Appearing in no rush to leave. She walked around the desk casually and picked up her wine glass from the side table, draining it dry and pouring herself another. “Well,” she smiled, “I did not expect that when I accepted your invitation,” she kept up the eye contact as she walked towards him - painfully uncomfortable as it was. “I’ll have to think about your offer, it’s a big decision.”

“Straight back to business,” he said, obviously impressed, “this is why I need you, Leah. Together we can bring Baldur’s Gate to heel. I need you on my side - at my side.” He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. “Join me.”

Leah smiled and placed her hands on his chest, “You know, Enver? I just might. If tonight’s been anything to go by. I think I may just be coming back for more and sooner than you think.” Leah's hand slid down to grab his cock, massaging it gently. She wanted to vomit.

“See?” He breathed, “ You can be such a good girl. You just need a firm hand, Leah.” He stroked her cheek lovingly with the back of his hand, his eyes gazing softly into hers. Gortashs lips parted as he leaned in for a kiss, claiming hers in a passionate embrace. His eyes opened and he stared into a shadowy alcove, a figure waited patiently in the darkness. The gloom only just camouflaged its bright, white scales. How long had they been there?

“Take my carriage,” he said, as he broke the kiss suddenly. “I have something important that needs my urgent attention.”

Leah held his gaze in silence, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck rise. There was someone behind her. Someone he did not want her to meet. “Good night, then,” she conceded, pointedly giving a little sideways glance in the direction of the interloper.

Gortash tilted his head and smiled indulgently. He took her small hand in his and brushed a soft kiss across her knuckles “Good night.” He watched her intently as she walked away, her hips swaying hypnotically. “Leah!” He called out just before she disappeared out of sight. He waited for her to turn before he spoke again. “I will need to see you again…very soon. I have something very important for us to discuss.”

Leah rounded a corner and left through the kitchens. Her poker face collapsed into a grimace. Sometimes she was disgusted with herself. Why didn’t she just stab him? Instead she let Enver Gortash use her in the worst way possible and practically thanked him for it afterwards. Never had she felt so dirty and embarrassed. Angry and used. “No. I did what I had to do,” she reasoned, tears forming in her eyes, “I had to get out of there alive. Warn everyone what that Son of a Bitch is up to.”

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate oc #baldurs gate gortash #enver gortash #gortash smut #smut #fanfiction

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literary-illuminati · 2 years

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Books I Read In September

45. The Oleander Sword, by Tasha Suri

Pre-ordered this, and I’m entirely happy with what I got. I mean it’s got intrigue and angst and the literal and metaphorical selling of souls and lesbians and eldritch horrors and war crimes, what’s not to love?

But really, I’m pretty sure I already made the joke, but SFF lesbians and weird power dynamics around fealty and martyrdom sure are a pair, huh? (Or maybe that’s just a random bit of selection bias in the books I read/see talked about, but eh. I should catch up on Montress.)

Anyway, Malini is a joy to read, and the Yaksha are absolutely gorgeous and come across as rather believably alien, though I really do wish they weren’t quite so straightforwardly malevolent, and the temple/palace intrigues with whatever the asshole emperor’s name was and his priests was great. Can’t wait for book 3.

46. None the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

My other pre-ordered book of the year. And look, I am largely outsourcing my opinions on this book to the ongoing 24/7 symposium digging into every bit of symbolism and possible reference in these things going on here in the tag. But, like, book good.

Also Pal and Cam, my beloveds. And Nona is adorable.

I need to go scream in the wilderness a bit again.

47. The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

This month’s attempt to acquire some Culture, via what was apparently the most influential book of 2007 (literally recommended to me because a coworker’s book club is doing it).

But no, this was good! Very much of it’s time, though less in a ‘dated in a bad way’ way, and more in a ‘future generations of college students will get assigned this and told to write an essay about the cultural fallout of the War On Terror.’

It really, really committed to the whole ‘life story told in a conversation over dinner’ framing device, to a degree that books basically never do - the prose of the whole thing still felt conversational and like it could actually be said by one person to another. The constant asides to the cuisine being served and the order of the courses and everything did eventually start to grate, though.

The big central twist is, well, barely a twist - except that the title gives you a very definite idea of where the protagonist’s arc is going to end up that you bring with you into the book. Still, really well done.

I’m surprised you don’t see the janissarya analogy made more often in modern polemic. Shoe doesn’t exactly fit, but close enough that you’d think it’d get some use.

48. Exit Strategy by Martha Wells

I really do adore Murderbot stories. They’re just perfectly sized for a lazy afternoon or two of reading, they’ve got the plot structure of a tightly edited 40-minute tv episode, and they’re just great fun comfort reads. Perfect book pringles. (Also Murderbot is one of the greatest protagonists of all time).

This one in particular would have honestly worked pretty well as a finale to the series? Or, since it clearly isn’t, I guess ‘works as a season finale’ is the better way to put it? It resolves the central underlying plot thread that’s been running through the books so far quite nicely, anyway.

I totally admit that aside from Murderbot only, like, four characters have made a sufficient impression that I can reliably identify them by just their names, though.

49. Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Hey, I finally finished the last Hugo nominee! Now to start feeling properly guilty about failing to answer that ask about my ranking/opinions from a month ago.

But no, this was good. The only Tchaikovsky I’d read before was Children of Time/Ruin, so this was definitely a change of pace (obvious similarities in setting aside). The whole central conceit of ‘fantasy setting is actually the result of an apocalypse destroying a technologically advanced civilization and the descendents of the survivors viewing the remnants as magical relics and sorcery’ is so thoroughly cliche I think people just stopped writing it for a couple decades, but the execution is really well done.

Nyr and Lynette are both fun POVs, anyway, and I absolutely adore anything that has multiple POVs seeing/taking part in the same events and interpreting them wildly differently. The one chapter that had two columns with Nyr providing exposition on one side and what Lynette&co actually understood him as saying on the other was great.

Tchaikovsky also did a really excellent job of capturing the whole horror and grief and ennui of being the Last Of Your Kind better than I usually see, and also saying Fuck the Prime Directive, which is always appreciated.

Also incredibly endearing that Nyr’s whole transhuman civilization gave themselves giant badass horns and then collectively decided to pretend it was for pragmatic utilitarian reasons.

50. Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells

Because it’s 2 murder 2 bot month, I guess (but no all my holds on these really did just come in at once).

So apparently this was actually written after the novel, which I only found out after finishing it, but chronologically it seems to have taken place before? Which conveniently means I didn’t accidentally ruin any big twists for myself.

Anyway, this was a fun detective story sort of thing. Murderbot being continuously annoyed at how much harder the lack of a dystopian panopticon made their job was a great running gag.

51. The Thousand Eyes by A. K. Larkwood

Because it’s magical lesbians month, I guess.

But no, this was a fun read. The whole setting and tone were very, hmm, D&D? Like a real mixture of super fantastical elements and generic fantasy things given different names (there are elves, and orcs, and for some reason specifically yuan-ti) and then the vision of society and the economics and the mindset and vocabulary of everyone who hasn’t been asleep in a ditch for ten thousand years is just incredibly modern. Not a complaint, it’s just very much a thing.

My actual complaint is that this was like four different discrete stories stacked on top of each other and put into a compactor until they all fit in one book. There were a lot of times where I was kind of left feeling that Larkwood was relying on me knowing how a given story/character arc goes so she could just skip through the high points and then resolve it without necessarily building it up beforehand.

(I also have a perpetual dislike for the plot beat of ‘oh no, the abusive cult who raised you was just doing their religion wrong. We’ve got a direct line to your/their god and he’s actually a great guy!’)

Interesting how minor a character Csorwe is in this one compared to Unspoken Name, really, but Shuthmili and Tal are both incredibly fun POVs so can’t say I really mind. Tsundere dragon goddess of betrayal and destruction was also a great time.

#book review #monthly tally #analysis/review #the thousand eyes #a.k. larkwood #murderbot #fugitive telemetry #exit strategy #martha wells #elder race #adrian tchaikovsky #the reluctant fundamentalist #moshin hamid #nona the ninth #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #the oleander sword #the burning kingdoms #tasha suri

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jadefyre · 6 hours

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hi! so i've been reading the murderbot diaries (thanks to you lol) (i love it), and i've read up to exit strategy so far. i know book 5 is network effect but the internet is telling me that fugitive telemetry is next chronologically- do you have a recommended reading order? ty!!

how exciting ah!!!!! okay so I recommended a friend to read chrono, and they did, but they said that it kind of messed with the series pacing.

So, they and I recommend reading published order for your first read and chrono for your second (which is what I did; my friend read published order for their second read-through and confirmed it was better that way). (assuming you’ll wanna reread them, but i mean, i just kind of assume that’s a given hehe)

system collapse takes place directly after network effect, but both it and NE are pretty heavy plotwise so fugitive telemetry is a good little respite in between 😄 (even though it does take place chronologically before both of them) (confusing!)

i’m so glad you’re getting into the books tho!! i’m a big fan as u have probably picked up on lol. so my inbox is always open for yelling about it 😌

#murderbot #sergeant-angua

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rockalillygirl · 4 months

Text

Murderbot Holding Hands

(Minor spoilers alert for Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy pls check the tags)

First real post because I’m shy. Don’t know why it’s going to be a hyper-specific murderbot meta but here we go:

I’ve been rereading all the books after finishing System Collapse <3 and I want to talk about a small moment in Artificial Condition that I’d never noticed before. It’s near the end of the book when Tapan is in ART’s medsystem after nearly dying, and SecUnit says that when Tapan wakes up it’s holding her hand.

When Tapan woke, I was sitting on the MedSystem’s platform holding her hand. (Artificial Condition, p. 155 in my ebook)

I thought it was a really sweet moment, but it also kind of puzzled me because of SecUnit’s aversion to touch. Later when I was reading Exit Strategy, I noticed a similar moment when SecUnit holds hands with Mensah to help disguise them as they’re trying to escape TranRollinHyfa.

[Mensah] took a deep breath and looked up at me. “We can look calm. We’re good at that.” Yeah, we were. I did a quick review to make sure I was running all my not-a-SecUnit code, then I thought of one more thing I could do. As we stepped out of the pod, I took Mensah’s hand. (Exit Strategy, p. 87)

Reading these scenes felt different in a couple ways. In my opinion, SecUnit taking Mensah’s hand in Exit Strategy seemed like more of a big deal because it was a part of SecUnit’s reunion with Mensah, and we see its thoughts and emotions leading up to it. And it tracks that SecUnit might feel ok holding Mensah’s hand in that situation because of their close friendship. But the moment in Artificial Condition is more mysterious. We don’t get any of SecUnit’s internal monologue at the beginning because the scene opens when Tapan wakes up. And even though it’s clear in the book that SecUnit likes Tapan along with Rami and Maro, I wouldn’t say their relationship is anywhere near as close as its bond with Mensah. So why did it hold her hand?

I think it’s a neat moment that’s fun to ponder! And I have some vague ideas I’d like to share about it. (Some of this is based on the books and some is my speculation as an ace/aspec person dealing with touch aversion.) (Also none of these thoughts are mutually exclusive!)

Maybe SecUnit saw holding Tapan’s hand as a form of first aid after her traumatic experience and didn’t want her to panic waking up in a strange ship’s medsystem. This fits with SecUnit bracing itself to hug Mensah in Exit Strategy. (The memes of this moment are perfect lol)

But I was the only one here, so I braced myself and made the ultimate sacrifice. “Uh, you can hug me if you need to.” She started to laugh, then her face did something complicated and she hugged me. I upped the temperature in my chest and told myself it was like first aid. (Exit Strategy, pp. 82-3)

But I feel like SecUnit might not care as much about comforting Tapan in a similar way if it hadn’t already built up some kind of trust with her? Which brings me to Thought 2:

I think SecUnit might have felt safe holding Tapan’s hand because of the moment in Artificial Condition in the second transient hostel when Tapan laid down next to it. (Ofc I think rescuing Tapan from Tlacey’s ship was also a factor, trauma-bonding and all. But to me this moment in the hostel is more important.)

Thirty-two minutes later, I heard movement. I thought Tapan was getting up to go to the restroom facility, but then she settled on the pad behind me, not quite touching my back… I had never had a human touch me, or almost touch me, like this before and it was deeply, deeply weird. (Artificial Condition, pp. 136-7)

This is one of my favorite sequences in Artificial Condition (which is also my favorite book in the series because of ART! And because I find it quiet, reflective, and weirdly cozy even though objectively few cozy things happen now that I think about it). The scene is pretty mundane with a lot of fun bits like SecUnit pretending to need to use the restroom, be on a diet, etc. And we usually don’t get to see SecUnit hanging out with only one person. So it gives room for some small, but important feelings that I don’t think SecUnit has time to explore when it’s busy saving the day. Like how it feels about physical contact with humans.

(idk it reminds me of how like in ghibli films there’s usually at least one scene with the characters eating a meal or something because it sort of grounds everything else. I just like it!)

Tapan being close to SecUnit seems to throw if off-guard, but the context of the scene feels non-threatening and pretty mellow. So I think this gives SecUnit the opportunity to check-in with itself about this new experience. It still feels weird about it, but not in a scary or upsetting way. I think it’s almost this mutual vulnerability (Tapan feeling vulnerable and seeking comfort and SecUnit feeling vulnerable about her closeness and its own boundaries) that creates a bond between them, and that’s why SecUnit reaches out to Tapan to comfort her when she wakes up onboard ART.

That scene has become really special to me. And I would argue that it’s an important moment to SecUnit too because it brings it up again in Exit Strategy, along with a later moment in Rogue Protocol, thinking about times when it’s experienced physical contact with humans in a non-traumatizing way.

Except it wasn’t entirely awful. It was like when Tapan had slept next to me at the hostel, or when Abene had leaned on me after I saved her; strange, but not as horrific as I would have thought. (Exit Strategy, p. 83)

These moments seem to lead up to SecUnit offering to comfort Mensah later on because it’s reached a point where it feels willing to do so for her sake, even if it doesn’t want to seek out that kind of comfort for itself. And it’s really cool to see SecUnit navigate this throughout the books.

SecUnit starts the series with a strong innate sense that it doesn’t want to be touched by humans, but it’s allowed to refine those feelings in light of its new experiences. It’s boundaries are situational and personal, and even well-meaning humans sometimes struggle to understand them at first. Other times, SecUnit finds it difficult to understand it’s own feelings regarding touch and even changes its mind. But, importantly, the narrative always presents this as valid and worthy of respect.

This is a much more nuanced and realistic portrayal of defining boundaries than I’ve seen in a lot of media- one where it’s a constant and sometimes confusing process of self-discovery.

And these might seem like obvious concepts to some people, but they weren’t for me growing up. I really wish I’d read these books when I was younger, and maybe I would’ve given myself more grace to define my comfort level, grow, and change. But I’m glad that I’m in a place now where I can see and appreciate these things in what’s become one of my favorite series.

Anyway, I don’t want to say "thanks for coming to my TedTalk” lol. But very grateful to anyone who reads this and hope it was thought-provoking. Would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on these scenes!

#murderbot diaries #murderbot meta #murderbot #secunit #artificial condition #rogue protocol #exit strategy #murderbot spoilers #too many feelings

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captainofthedauntless · 1 year

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Hello 🤗 hope you can do my requests

(platonic)

Headcanons of TMNT 2007 with blind lil sibling reader (gender-neutral)

Hope you can do it, if not then it's completely ok 😇

Hello Anon! Thanks for asking. I don't have much experience with blindness myself, so the following headcanons may be misguided! If anyone has any criticism of them, please let me know.

I think all four of them make a point to announce themselves and their entrances and exits. They're light-footed and quiet movement is second nature at this point, so they make an effort to say hello and goodbye as an indication of when they're around.

They also all make an effort to make less of a mess. Even with sight and ninja agility/reflexes/awareness, they've had more than their fair share of "abandoned skateboard under foot" and "why would you leave a knife on the couch" accidents, and are careful not to have more at your expense.

Donnie does his best to make sure Braille labels are put on things around the lair. He either makes or buys a press and makes labels for things like spice bottles and Mikey's collection of pepper flakes, because they're definitely not something anyone wants to guess with. Even if you can take Ghost Pepper, it's not the kind of thing you want to get without warning.

Also adds a tactile warning of some sort by any steps or drops in the lair.

Leo is the most likely to offer you help navigating. He's always happy to lend an arm or directions if you want them.

He'll also read to you. Any book he gets into, be it a novel or a book on strategy, he's likely to share with you. Handing you the book won't do either of you much good, but he wants to hear your thoughts!

Mikey loves describing the crazy things they've seen, done, and fought. That show biz dazzle comes through, and he'll have you on the very edge of your seat with his play-by-play recaps. He seems to have a talent for giving you just the right amount of visual detail in his stories in between (probably embellished) descriptions of his totally awesome moves, be it a fight or a skateboard session or even a Cowabunga Carl party.

Raph's big on music in general, and if you're into it, he loves putting some on and vegging out with you. It's one of his favorite activities after punching bad guys.

If you're not into music, he also has a soft spot for trivia. He enjoys friendly competition, so things like Jeopardy are a favorite for him. Loves to challenge you to answer the questions before the contestants (or he) can- really loves beating you to the answers. (He does look away from the screen when the queestion is revealed, though. He waits to hear the announcer ask, so he doesn't have an unfair advantage.)

#*writing #2007 #*headcanons #raphael #donatello #leonardo #michelangelo #platonic #tmnt & reader #leonardo & reader #donatello & reader #michelangelo & reader #raphael & reader

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concubus-desires · 16 days

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About those demonkin questions you reblogged a while ago:

4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16, 17, and 20!

I'm curious to see your answers! (And sorry for doing so many questions at once)

4. What do you think of humans and humanity, as a demonkin?

I love humans, I love humanity as a whole. I think some Very Bad apples have made things bad for them(and for me by virtue of living in a human body), but that’s not most of their fault. I see them as little guys, potential pets, and overall mostly just like one would consider less powerful but very cute creatures.

5. If you’re POC, trans, disabled, chronically ill, etc how does that affect your demonkin identity if at all? Are there certain things you don’t identify with?

I believe it’s more the other way around, I believe my pangender identity is connected to being a demon because I’m mostly above human binaries.

6. Does your demonkin have a separate name to yourself? How old is your “demonkin-sona”?

No, the way I see it, I am my “human self” but I was born with the soul of a demon. So I am Me, I just Happen to be a demon, if that makes sense.

8. What TV show, book, or movie has the best portrayal of demons and hell in your opinion?

Ummmm, goodness that’s so difficult. Media doesn’t usually set out to make a “realistic” hell, it’s usually so stylized because it’s a fictional place that is so vague in the source material. I think that the best portrayal that comes to mind is Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel.

9. Who is your favorite written demon (from ars Goetia, dukante hierarchy, etc)?

I’m a big fan of the boss Luci but I can’t have that be my answer. Paimon maybe? Love a suck up<3

10. Tell us about your favorite fictional demon from a tv show/movie/book.

Gotta be Crowley

12. Recommend us two movies!

I do not usually watch movies. What We Do in the Shadows and A Silent Voice

16. If you were to be evoked during a ritual, what objects would we need?

I don’t know much about human rituals so I hope this is good. A dildo, a two liter of orange Fanta, and a willingness to give up your soul.

17. Recommend us five to ten songs that make you feel infernal and demonic!

I LOVE music recommendation questions, please listen to these and tell me what you think think and ask more questions about music and ask for recommendations and(frothing at the mouth)

In no particular order except the order that I came across them on Spotify looking just now:

Ængus, the Prize-Winning Hog by The Toxhards

Blood Moon Love by Shayfer James

Until It Doesn’t Hurt by Mother Mother

How I’d Kill by Cowboy Malfoy

The Otherside by Kade McCuen

Exit Strategy of a Wrecking Ball by Diablo Swing Orchestra

Sirens by Bear Ghost

Whisper by Burn the Ballroom

Don’t Mess With Me by temposhark

Do It For me by Rosenfeld

20. Misconceptions about Demonkin that drive you insane?

I’m not really in this space very much/for very long so I haven’t come across anything like that, will update if that changes

#ask #actual demon #demonkin #alterhuman #concubus #otherkin #lin speaks #lover-of-monsters

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