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ohgoddard · 3 years

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Those Loyal Dogs.

In the space between planes, there exists great dangers. Wandering clouds of thought form misty shaped giants that prey on the minds of the sleeping. Beasts that existed long before anything else float within in its nothingness, content to be as they have been for millennia. Doors and rifts flicker in and out of existence, gateways to lands beyond the veil of understanding. The Aether is the name given to this plane of existence, at least by those who don’t live there. No sane man would live in such a dangerous place, for aboleths and dreadnaughts devour all who dare inhabit the same plane as they. Not to mention the lack of any place for living. The plane is nothing but emptiness, with the occasional rip that allows passage into a random place and time.

But while there is no place to live, there are many places to make a living.

In the land of thought and knowledge and all that falls under that umbrella there exists treasure. Oh sure, there are some ancient relics, jewels, and other novelties that any old scoundrel would want. But the real catch is information. It floats freely in the realm, like schools of fish in a sea. And unless you have immense mental fortitude, they can be caught just as easily. So enterprising blackmailers create Aether-Craft to set out into the rifts whenever they find themselves lucky to do so. They bring with them spells that can capture unspoken words and when the time permits it they return to the plane which they came from. Such finds have turned the tides of battle, rulers of nations, and relationships sour.

And with every honest trade, there comes those who want to cut a few corners.

Why hunt for the thoughts when you can just pilfer another?

========================================================================

“CAPTAIN, THEY’RE GONNA HIT US!”

A loud crash of splintering wood sounds as the forward ram ruptures the hull. A few men fly overboard, falling endlessly into the magenta purple nothingness below the ship. Suspended in the Aether are two of its craft, sails at full mast and their steering fins pulled in. The sounds of fighting emerge as the boarding crew invaded the other. The poor soul that tried to warn his captain of the ramming was felled in the crash, his long dwarven beard obscuring the damage done to his face.

The Captain was not pleased. The splinters had torn several holes in his jacket and shirt, and there is crewmember blood all over his nice boots and pants. Even worse, he lost his hat in the impact. So his pointy ears that he despises so much stuck out among his bald head.

Standing atop the cabin, one hand on the wheel, he scowled. A gigantic ship had collided with his.

This is going to cost me so much.

His ship was not a big one, but a void craft is priceless in its creation. Hull damage meant not only replacing wood, but rewriting all the runes as well. An expensive folly on their end, indeed!

The Captain had only a moment to ponder his finances, when his name was called.

“Hey! You parked in my spot, you blind void-ferret!” He turned his head in disgust. Only two things in existence would dare refer to another Void Captain in such a manner, and this wasn't a Gith.

Standing atop the bow of his ship, which presided over the fordeck of The Captain’s, was a man dressed in a red naval uniform and bright white boots. He wore wraps around his entire face and hands, but left room for his eyes. His bright, blue, and inciting eyes. The Captain felt rage throughout his body.

“Captain Carmichael. I thought the Royal Navy had no jurisdiction over the Aether?”

Carmichael drew his sword from its sheath, a very dirty and near rusted blade.

“Oh it doesn’t, but I thought a bit of privateering was needed so I put in a work order. And last time we met, dear friend Marstrom, I told you no sea could hide you from me! Surrender now and I won’t throw the crew overboard.”

The Insolence! Such crimes Carmichael hunted him for were committed in royal waters! He has no right!

“Captain Carmichael, for the betterment of yer crew and yerself, I recommend you take yer privateering contract and shove it up yer toilet paper ass! No one owns the Aether! Not the Royal Navy, not me, and certainly not you!”

Marstrom backed up his threats by unsheathing his own sword and taking his stance atop the ship cabin, knowing full well that Carmichael could jump from the foredeck to him. A feat only he could pull off, thanks to the numerous amounts of surprising inventions and arcane tricks up his sleeves.

Below him, he could hear his crew being soundly beaten by the more experienced Buccaneers. It would not be long until they got to him, he knew. His fights with him have been bloody, but he always managed to get out alive. His crew was only a shield between the end of that rusted sword and himself. But the sounds of gunfire and steel clashing beneath told him his shield was being broken. The pots and pans of the kitchen were thrown about, the explosions in the powdery rocked the ship, and the noise of broken bottles mottled his head with the thoughts escaping them.

This was a forgone fight the minute Carmichael saw him. Him and that blasted entourage he kept with him.

“You can try and take me ship, but you won’t be doing it with all yer limbs!” At this he hopped onto the railing and began to run at Carmichael, who still stood patiently on the bow.

He calmly watched as the foolhardy Marstrom ran towards him, and sighed of boredom. He traced the outline of his tricorn, waiting. Just a bit closer, you dumb half elf.

He was eyeing up the rail that Masrstrom ran on, waiting for the exact moment to-

Carmichael leapt from the bow, coat and wraps fluttering behind him. He went near 12 feet in the air before landing hard on the railing with the accuracy and balance of a trapeze artist. The sudden change in weight, and the fact that railing was missing several of its support structures, meant that poor Captain Marestrom went flying in the air from the other end slamming into his bottom. His round little body flew not 7 feet before thudding against the main mast, sliding to the ground like a fireman on his pole. There he lay unconscious, red marks going from the top of bald head to the bottom of his fourth chin.

Carmichael smirked under his wraps, and brought his hand to his ear. “Wrap it up, men. Captain’s captured. Render all willing crew unconscious and throw them in the brig. And do be sure to take all the stolen goods this time. This is a very prestigious contract!”

A collection of aye-ayes and Dontcha worry cap’n!’s came in as Carmichael bent over and threw the sleeping body of Marestrom over his shoulder. “By the divines! I think the prison diet will do you good, you greedy pig.”

========================================================================

Back aboard his own ship, with all the prisoners locked away in the brig, Carmichael stood in his quarters looking out his window. Compared to the slow burning ship in front of him, a view he took great pride in watching, his ship was for titans. A true Man O'War, lifted directly from the shipyards of the Royal Navy when he committed his first act of piracy, it was beauty. Nearly 300 feet long, 100 feet high, over 100 void cannons of varying sizes, and with artisanally crafted fins, his ship was a sight to behold.

And such a catch too! Why, if he wasn’t going to steal it, someone else definitely was sooner or later. And he couldn’t let the Royal Navy have this. Not those backstabbing bastards. It’s there original imprisoning and torture of him that lead to his wonderful ship being named “The Loyal Dog”. That, and his crew who remained loyal to him and him alone followed him from prison to pirating. Something they did with great happiness, he noticed. The Navy regulations had prevented them from drinking as much as they would like.

Carmichael thought about this while looking out his window at the burning smuggling ship before him. Marstrom had a point. No one did have a right to own the Aether, much less police it. The contract he had for his capture wasn’t even given out by the Royal Navy. Carmichael had made up the contract for an excuse to hunt down the bastard who gave the Royal Navy false information that had led to his imprisonment to begin with. He’ll just take the financial loss of his personal wallet to pay the crew. But the currency of the soul was worth so much more.

That's what he told himself at least.

He sat down at his desk, a large and carved mahogany thing, and began to relax in his chair. It was a job well done, he said to himself as he began to undress from battle. First his hat, which was thrown on the hat rack with precision, then the dozens of mechanical devices strapped all over his body. It was going to be a slow process. Atleast he would be alone.

The door opened. “Hey Carmikey, nice job on your revenge today!” If not for the hastily wired explosive he was trying to removed from his chest, Carmichael would have thrown his head back and groaned. “Jin, the door?” Jin turned to look at the open door, then at the still wrapped captain undressing, before realizing. “Oh!” they said in an embarrassed tone, “My bad! Still learning things.” They then knocked on the still open door. “Can I come in?”

Explosive device fully removed from his body and set gently back in the gadgets case, Carmichael let out a full body sigh.

“Fine. Just close it, will you?” As Jin went to close the door, Carmichael gave thema once over. He couldn’t help it, it was a tick at this point. Prison has taught him to always gauge a person.

Jin worse a pair of brown khakis, loafers, a red knitted sweater with white undershirt, and a necklace. Their hair was different though, but nothing too alarming.

Stop thinking like that. His own mind scolded him. Jin has saved you and your crew’s life more than enough times to earn your trust. They will not betray you.

“Captain?” Carmichael shook his head, erasing the thoughts. He looked over at Jin, whow as looking at him quizically with his pale blue eyes. “You changed your hair. And your eyes. Again. Sorry It just caught me off guard.” He went to remove the rockets strapped to his calves.

Jin smiled. “Oh you noticed! I was thinking no one would! Drockgar and Carri said youd like it so i changed it and-” “I do like it, Jin. The white and blond mix very well together. Looks like one of those cartoons you watch a lot.” The captain stopped mid rocket defusing to look up from his feet to Jin. Jin, for their part, tried to remain neutral faced, but one of the few human traits they learned began to creep red onto their face.

“You got the idea from that show, didn’t you?”

“S-so wha? You said it looked good anyway.” Carmichael shrugged and finished taking the last of his gadgets off.

“Jin, just because you're here can you do something for me?” Jin cocked his head to the side. “Need me to unwrap you again?” Carmichael rolled his eyes. “Yes, I need help unwrapping. Aegis cut all the loose ends very close this time.” Jin soured their face as they approached Carmichael behind their desk. “I don’t know why you keep wrapping yourself up. Your wounds are fine, I made sure. And the gadgets I made too are completely -”

“Jin, I know they are completely safe. Its an intimidation tactic, a brand if you will. People talk about Captain Carmichael the Bandaged Bandit!” Jin pulled up a stool beside him and pulled a pair of scissors out of a drawer in the desk. “They also call you rude names because of it.” They began to cut at the layers of bandages, letting them fall to the carpeted floor. “I mean, remember when we did that joint contract for the Nightmare Giant? Captain Callisthenes called you a poor excuse for a paper mache doll. It was very mean of him!” Carmichael chuckled, causing Jin to hmph and intentionally poke him with the scissors. “OW! Ok, yes so what? It works well enough. Plus, it soaks up any blood I may spill. And to your Captain Cal point, well we got back at him for it didn’t we?”

An exasperated sigh left Jin as they cut more bandages off, there still being some tightly wrapped. “Yes I suppose so. But I do feel bad for it. I mean, what if he doesn’t turn red again? I mean, turning yellow isn't the worst thing to happen but I am still very new to this magic thing.”

Carmichael laughed again, but Jin smiled along this time. “Oh please, Jin. The magic was temporary. The Ignes Navi is under the command of a salacious red demon.” Jin stopped his cutting and just looked at the Captain with a confused face. He sighed. “He is red again, don’t worry.” Gotta run the idea of a metaphor past him. Maybe the concept of a joke too.

A few more minutes later, Jin was done cutting the bandages. “Alright, Captain. That should be the last ones. You can take them off now.” Carmichael just stared at Jin, hand placed on cheek.

Jin became red once more. “Oh! Sorry, uh, I forgot that this is different in the real world. Where I come from information is presented in a bare manner so im still unfamiliar with the concept of privacy and also there are a lot of images where people are-” In stammered a bit before slowly growing quieter, as Carmichael still just looked at him. “I’ll just, uh, leave now.” Jin hurried out, almost forgetting to close the door behind him. Carmichael shook his head and chuckled.

Little Ai still has a lot to learn.

He shook the rest of his bandages off his body and let them hit the ground, grabbing his robe and a pair of pants shortly after. As he sit back down at his desk, he began to ruminate. He remembered when he was as young as Jin. Or, at least how young Jin looked. Carmichael had no idea how hold the Ai truly was. The corporate conglomerate that coded him, whatever that meant, had been decades old themselves. Still, he was young. Which made Carmichael think of the old days with his dad on the sea. He reached into another drawer and pulled out a drawing, one covered in this thing Jin called “laminate”. It was one professionally done by an artist for him and his dad. How happy they were. His dad was built for the heavy work, as all orcs are. And he loved his time spent with him. But his mom is who really raised him. A kind woman she was. He wished he remembered her face, but such a memory was lost to him. It was a small reason why he became an Aether privateer. Such things can be found in it. He wanted to see the person that made being a half-breed worth it.

Then dad died out at sea and mom of a broken heart not too long after.

Maybe being young isn't all what its cracked up to be.

A while later, after the Captain had showered and dressed himself in his casual ship robes, being sure to clean the green Aether algae off his equally light green skin, he walked down to the treasure floor. On his way he passed many a sailor of his working. Patching up the ship, helping navigate the fins, cleaning all that wasn't clean (which was most). Some lucky ones were even sleeping, having helped directly in the attack earlier. When Carmicahel descended the stairs to the lower level where the treasure is counted, not a second passed from entering the room he was greeted by his chief accountant. “CAPTAIN YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!!!” An excited voice sprung from his knees, and looking down he saw Drockgar, his resident numbers man and the only gnome he has seen with a beard longer than he is. “Now now, Drockgar. Information is to be inspected after all the treasure is counted.” Camrichael began to walk down the isles. A few men were writing intently over scrolls, counting coins and weighing them. One dwarf was even gnawing on a ruby to determine its authenticity. As he observed him throwing it out a porthole into the great abyss, the Captain concluded it must not have been real.

“Aye know Captain, but this one is special!” The gnome jumped onto the table in front of Carmichael, careful to not knock over a box of pixie dust (grounded up pixies. Same result, more gruesome). His beard was tied up to not trip him, and his big glasses almost fell off his tiny nose. “There is someone in here that looks exactly like your dad! Down to the grey hair!”

This piqued the Captain’s interest, so he allowed the gnome to hand him the bottle. The glass bottle was like all other thought bottles, small and with a wispy smoke inside. “Do you think its him?” asked Carmichael. He looked upon the bottle with disbelief, his tousled black hair and green skin looking back in its reflection.

The gnome shook his head. “No son, sorry. I worked with yer dad for a good few years. This man aint him. But..” The gnome stroked his beard. “It is him at the same time.”

This caused a raised eyebrow from Carmichael. “An alternate dimension where he exists still? We’ve been looking everywhere for those. He seems to have only existed in one.”

This elicited a chuckle from Drockgar. “Thats the funny thing about Infinity, Carmichael. The possibilities are endless.”

He smirked at the gnome then hugged him. “Thank you. Ill look into it at once.”

“Bah! Don't hug me for this! Just my job. Besides, ain't you supposed to be a feared pirate?”

Carmichael laughed as he went up the stairs, the gnome smiling and shaking his head.

When he got back to his room, Camrichael made sure to lock the door this time. This would not be something he wanted interrupted. He sat in his chair and gingerly removed the cork from the bottle, letting the wisp escape into his mind.

In his memories he saw his father.. Except not. He looked just like him. Huge, grey and black hair. But at the same time, he knew not him. For one thing, his father would never wear a gaudy thing such as tweed jacket. The other? He was in the desert. His dad hated sand. Despised beaches. He could not imagine the old coot being in a desert.

Carmichael could still not stop watching though. His initial theory was proving right, that this was an alternate dimension. He watched as his not-dad met up with a group of adventures it seemed. He watched as this one yuan-ti thing got all flustered as he picked them up. He saw the group fight deadly worms, and eventually descend into a dig site.

Then he saw his not-dad die.

A tendril beast thrashed him about and the adventures too, and everything exploded into a great white light. Then all he saw was his not-dad floating in limbo. But it was a limbo he knew.

The Aether. He threw the memory back into the bottle and ran as fast as he could to the steering controls. The crew watched in disbelief as their Captain ran, robes and underwear only, to the ship’s wheel. Once at the controls, he turned off the rudder stabilizer and pulled down the radio, a box that Jin hooked up to little earrings that communicate directly to his crew.

“ALL CREW! CHANGE OF NAVIGATION! MASTS TO FULL, FINS TO FULL!” Immediately the deck beneath him sprang to life as his almost hundred manned crew acted. Men and women alike pulled the ropes into position, and unfolded the fins for steering.

The sounds of footsteps sounded next to him as his first mate stormed up the stairs.

“What's wrong?! Are we under attack?” She stood there, sword drawn, silver hair tied up, and outfit very hastily thrown together. “No, but my dad is.”

She looked at Carmichael with an incredulous look, her violet eyes staring into him only a drow can. “By the nightmoter, your dad?! How is he alive?!”

Carmichael turned to her with a smile on his face. “He isn't! But I have found one who is!” He then pulled a lever to pull the Aether-Anchor back, shaking the ship in the process.

“Now hang on, Cerri!”

In seconds, the ship caught the Astral current and was speeding off in a wayward direction.

And a few days later, soon came across a body floating in nothingness, holding a very disorganized journal.

And when he saw it, Carmichael Azork II nearly cried.

Because that man looked exactly like his dad.

And then the man coughed.

#BoA:TS

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himeryuukinka · 5 years

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[ LFRP ] Ane - ( Balmung, Crystal DC )

❝ there is a muchness about you. I wonder... what I must do to have such muchness in myself..? ❞

🔓-- A lock icon denotes the presence of an additional something significant to be discovered only via roleplay. The more locks there are, the harder it will be to learn! Build a relationship with her to discover these secrets she keeps to herself.

This LFRP post is specifically for her geomancer verse. Check over here for access to the LFRP post for her canon verse. I can play both/either on Balmung/Crystal as necessary!

❀ General Information ––– -

Name: “Ane.” 🔓 🔓 🔓 Epithet: Of the Weeping Waters. Gender: Cisgender female. Age: 28. Race: Au Ra (Raen.) Birthplace: Yama, Othard. 🔓 Current Residence: The Itomori Shrine, Doma. Relationship Status: Single. Sexual Orientation: Demisexual. Occupation: Yaman geomancer.

❀ Physical Appearance ––– -

Hair: Incredibly long. Straightened with a hot metal comb. Typically worn loose with some hair elegantly looped and bound just above her shoulders, framing her face. Seldom changes style. Looks to be all warm black. 🔓🔓 Eyes: Warm grey. Clouded by cataracts. Somber. Height: 4 fm 8 im. Distinguishing Marks: Rounded, soft scales reminiscent of a koi’s. Geomantic circles tattoo’d on her palms, the bottoms of her feet, and upper back. 🔓 🔓 🔓 Common Accessories: Ornately patterned silver bands in the front two strands of her hair. Brass bangles around her wrists and ankles decorated with suzu bells that remain curiously silent even when shaken. 🔓

❀ Personality & Tidbits ––– -

A solemn young geomancer hailing from the seaside village of Yama. Her sad and serious air lend her presence a degree of mystery, and her lifelong practice of tempering her emotions makes it harder still to know how she actually feels. Having dedicated all her years to her people’s form of geomancy, Ane thinks herself ill-suited for anything else, and so her entire sense of identity has become tangled up in the magicks that she wields. She believes that she exists for the sole purpose of using geomancy to help the people around her, leading the young woman to quickly throw herself headlong into danger without a moment’s hesitation so long as it is for the sake of someone else.

Talents: Yaman geomancy. Weaknesses: Physical/close quarters combat. Unable to use offensive magicks entirely. Kindness directed at her. Virtues: Dutiful. Genuine. Tender-hearted. Gentle. Curious. Thoughtful. Meticulous. Flaws: Naive. Perfectionist. Reckless. Overextending. Emotionally clumsy. Silently self-destructive. Has difficulty detecting sarcasm and understanding certain idioms and forms of humor. Spiritual Views: Reverence for the Dawn Father. Respect and recognition for the kami. Hobbies: Cooking, though really only skilled in Far Eastern cuisines. Ikebana. Tending to the shrine’s grounds. Fears: Isolation. Being forgotten. Dying before she can train new geomancers. Temperament: Melancholic. Alignment: Neutral Good.

❀ Yaman Geomancy ––– - 🔓/🔓🔓

I thought this topic could use its own brief section as her clan’s form of geomancy is not the same as the geomancy seen widespread in the Far East, as well as having some very specific elements tailored to her personal use of it. Those characters who are well-learned geomancers have the potential to recognize her as specifically from Yama so long as we discuss it ahead of time, and those who are familiar with geomancy or nature-based magicks may be able to reason out what she uses but not where she is from -- or why her geomancy differs from the more common forms. As with everything, I am happy and willing to discuss IC arcane knowledge, but do please run it by me ahead of time. Her clan was very secretive concerning its branch of geomancy, and while not at all closed to visits from the outside world, this art is absolutely not common knowledge! Please take this information as OOC reference for how this magic works rather than IC knowledge! Thank you!

Magic Family: Geomancy. Tools: Sacred paper talismans. Arcane ink carried in blessed brass pots. Brushes. A single heavy, enchanted bell inspired by bianzhong. Rounded stones of various sizes and weights. Strengths: Magic cancelling through elemental balancing. Barriers. Weaknesses: No way to counter physical weapons or unarmed physical strikes. Lengthy barrier preparation. Entirely a supportive and defensive art. General Overview: An ancient branch of geomancy thought dead by many. Rather than drawing only from the elements of wind, water, and earth, Yaman geomancy draws also from fire. It has never been intended as an offensive art and cannot be conjured as a weapon in battle. Instead, it revolves entirely around elemental balancing -- aether of one element is met with an equal force and amount of its opposing element, effectively cancelling out harmful magicks entirely. A delicate art with a lot of room for error, it requires years upon years of practice to master as it requires a great deal of concentration; those sensitive to aether may display a natural gift for it, as they can more easily sense how much oomph to give a particular counterspell. Failing to meet an elemental force with a sufficient counterforce can result in the spell connecting without real issue (too little) or wounding the geomancer in the process with an unstable aetheric burst (too much.) Though, like its Doman and Hingan counterparts, Yaman geomancy still relies heavily on comparable channeling methods -- that is, the combined use of an enchanted bell and glyphs to summon a specific element or combination of elements. It is more reliant on physical totems, though, and so Yaman geomancers would carry paper talismans upon which to write what they required in combat. Ane’s Geomancy: Where hers differs is how she channels it, but I prefer to keep the specific details for roleplay discovery! 🔓🔓

❀ Traits ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious / Spirited

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

❀ Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: Never. Drugs: No. Alcohol: Very rarely. Surprisingly good at holding her liquor.

❀ Hooks ––– -

Region-specific connections. Asterisks (*) for options open only through discussion with me beforehand.

❀ The Village of Yama* - The once-proud seat to an ancient form of geomancy now all but lost to the world in the wake of its destruction at the hands of the Empire. Villagers who Ane may have known prior to the deaths of most everyone on the Shore of the Blue Lily are a welcome connection. There is potential for other survivors apart from Ane and the small group of children she managed to save, though know that all other geomancers perished in the attack, whether by their own lack of experience or their remaining behind to cover the retreat of those who tried to escape, and so any Yaman geomancer characters would be strictly past connections only. 🔓 ❀ Doma, a Wartorn Nation - Doma is the nation that most often saw secret services rendered by Yama’s geomancers, and Ane continues to honor that as the village’s sole arcane successor. She spent much of her formative years traveling the length and breadth of Yanxia to better understand its people and their plight with the Empire, and so there is plenty of opportunity for Doman characters to either recognize her personally (had they met while they were both younger) or to have a suspicion about her duty as a geomancer. Doman characters have lots of avenues open to them, considering she has lived among them since the ruination of Yama! ❀ The Island Nation of Hingashi - Similar to Doma, Ane sometimes travels to Kugane when necessary. While not a place she frequents, the potential is there -- but do not be surprised if she initially regards Hingan geomancers with distance and dislike. She does not take kindly to charlatans using her beloved art to take advantage of the desperate, and there’s no shortage of such people in the port city to fuel her suspicions.

General roleplay connections. Asterisks (*) for options open only through discussion with me beforehand.

❀ A Hidden World of Geomancy* - Other geomancers, particularly those native to the continent of Othard, would likely have intimate knowledge of Yama and its people, and Ane would be more likely to trust them implicitly with certain facts than with those outside this arcane circle. I like to think of geomancy as having something like a support and information network unique to its practitioners; geomancer connections have the potential to know things about Ane that others would not! 🔓 ❀ Those looking for stationary arcane wards. - Not too unlike the magicks employed by the scholars of Nym, Yaman geomancy involves the enchantment and careful placement of keystones around a structure or area to shield it from attack or approach. If your character is in need of long-term wards for their home or business, Ane will oblige. ❀ Those seeking someone to accompany them with mobile wards. - Far trickier and taxing to employ than stationary wards but certainly not impossible. Ane wishes to help as many people as possible, and so if you’ve a character looking for some extra protection on an adventure or dangerous foray into the unknown, she’s not one to turn down a request for aid. ❀ Those in need of elemental protection. - Perhaps Ane’s greatest skill. She’s more than willing to help keep people safe by way of her clan’s geomancy; those venturing forth into an intensely aspected dungeon or region could certainly benefit from her magicks! ❀ Generally, those looking to fight for those too weak or beaten down to fight for themselves. - Often branded as a goody-goody by her guardian, Ane is quick to help those in need -- and often without a thought for the effect it could have on her. She will mesh easily with characters of similar values and morality and struggle with those who do not. But that being said... ❀ Enemies and rivals who might challenge her beliefs or give her trouble are absolutely welcome. - Conflict has excellent potential to build characterization, and I am all about that! So if you play a more evil or chaotic-aligned character, please don’t be be afraid to come push her buttons. ❀ And of course, friendships. - I’m always down for great platonic relationships, especially those that grow into familial affection. ❀ Thought of something not listed here? - Drop me a line so we can talk about it! While typically centered in the Far East, I already know of ways and reasons she would be in Eorzea -- so if your character does not frequent any of the places she spends most of her time, we can easily fix that!

❀ OOC Information ––– -

Genres: I am not particularly genre picky; I gravitate most towards those scenarios that may result in interesting, long-term character development -- and hopefully for both/all parties! I am a sucker for angst with purpose, though I do also love fluff and slice of life scenarios. So long as the scene doesn’t run out of steam or feel strained/stressed, I am a happy bean. Playstyle: I am... not very skilled when it comes to in-game roleplay. I prefer to connect one on one or in very small groups (no more than five people) so I can put my all into making certain my replies are timely, tidy, and... well, good. I prefer to write on something like tumblr or Discord, but I can do my best to make in-game work! Length: I’m someone who leans most towards a paragraph at the absolute minimum, but I can produce pages if we’re roleplaying on tumblr or Discord. Server: Balmung for roleplay/visiting with in-game friends, though my PvE main is over on Ultros. Both characters are available under the name Ane Borel. Timezone: CST. Availability: In-game: most of the time, so long as you give me a ping and ask if I can hop on! Discord: Much of the same! Please do be aware, though, that this is subject to change as I’m interviewing for some jobs and my schedule won’t be so free in the future. I’ll update this post when necessary. Contact Information: Obviously you can contact me here! This is a sideblog to my main over at @sunlitpeony, where you can also message me, and then I can give my Discord out upon request/interest.

{ banner art by: the-xaotician }

#ffxiv #ffxiv roleplay #ffxiv lfrp #;; ooc #;; I tweaked it just a touch to add in a little more relevant information #;; geomancer Ane is quite a different lizard compared to her canon counterpart!#;; under a cut because it got really long... sob #;; if you made it to the end you should get a medal tbh

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pixieungerstories · 5 years

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Darkness - 9

Brie sat. Darkness talked. He explained how he could keep her warm and comfortable and fed. She countered with her cottage was warm and comfortable and this house was too run down to actually cook in. He said he could bring food in. She snorted and asked how he was going to do that.

He didn’t have an answer for that one.

He suggested that he had a huge bathtub, big enough to hold him. Brie pointed out that her bathtub was big enough for her. Or, he offered, his bed was soft.

She flat out laughed at that. “How do you even fit in a bed?”

And that was his way in. Darkness took her on a tour of the parts of the house that were in use. The bathroom that was really a wet room nearly as big as her whole cottage. His bedroom that certainly was. She frowned at the bed.

“Ok, you are massively tall, but even you aren’t THAT big.”

“It’s the horns,” he admitted feeling a little embarrassed. “Any smaller and they don’t clear the head board.”

“How tall are you? Exactly?”

Darkness shrugged, “Nine feet, approximately, plus a couple of feet of horns.”

Brie shook her head. “How do you get sheets that big?”

“Each mattress gets a fitted bottom sheet and I have four queen sized duvet covers sewn together.”

“How do you wash them?”

Darkness shrugged. “The food is delivered, the laundry is sent out and brought back. Goblynn takes care of any purchases or repairs the house needs.”

Brie considered this, “Or groundskeepers.”

“Yes.”

“So why not a housekeeper? And some maintenance staff?”

“I don’t like people in my space.”

“You say that, but you brought me here. Twice, if you include that visit with Mr Lynn.”

“I have gotten used to you.”

“Maybe you could get used to the cleaners as well.”

Darkness just grunted. Then he thought of something. “If I let the cleaners in, would you agree to spend time with me in the orchard while they are here?”

Brie blinked, “The porn orchard?”

Darkness chuckled, “Is that what you are calling it?”

“Yes. I have seen the statues, you know.”

“Indeed. And what did you think?”

“Oh, I’m sure they were incredibly risqué when they were carved.”

“You didn’t actually answer the question.”

“What do you want me to say? The artist clearly had talent, but I’m not overly impressed by the subject matter.”

“You would prefer angels, I suppose.”

“Angels are not inherently interesting. I like statues that tell a story, but those stories are like something out of the mind of a boy that has watched a lot of porn but never actually interacted with a woman.”

That made Darkness laugh. “Yes. I believe that is an accurate assessment of the artist.”

Now Brie blinked, “It, uh… it wasn’t you, was it?”

Darkness smirked at her for a moment before answering. Long enough to see her start to squirm. “No,” he said at last. “They were commissioned by the people who build the house.”

“What happened to them?”

And so, Brie spent the rest of the morning listening to stories about the people who had built the house. They had lived with him for quite a number of years. They were the ones who built his quarters. And when they left he was left behind. He told her cute stories about how the very prim victorian lady was a sleep walker and prone to forgetting her night dress. About how the husband was a total lech who would fuck anyone and anything who was incautious enough to hold still. About how angry that made the wife. He pointed out that the artist who made the sculptures perfectly captured the desires of each of them. The male statues featuring some of the husband’s wanton and taboo sexual acts and the female statue recognizing the wife’s desire to rip out her husband’s spleen.

“What about Prometheus?” Brie asked.

“Ah. Well that was a reference to me. Forbidden knowledge and what not.” He waved a hand dismissively.

“Uh huh. That is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of statues out there.”

Darkness smirked, “Would you agree to spend time with me out there to discuss that further?”

Brie snorted and realized she had no idea how long she had been in the house. She hadn’t been hungry until she thought about it, but now she was. “I need to go.”

“Or, you could stay.”

“No, it’s time for me to go back to the cottage. How do I get out of here?”

“I don’t want you to leave.” Brie’s head snapped up at that. For Darkness, fear was almost as good as worship. It was the same kind of reverential attention. Still, he knew that if he kept her here when she wanted to leave that would be all he would get from her. No more meals delivered to the house as offerings. No more easy camaraderie with her unconscious self. “It is still raining,” he tried. When that didn’t make her relax, he snorted and picked her up again, easily cupping her ass with one big, warm hand. “Stop squirming; I’m taking you home.”

----

It wasn’t real. Of course it wasn’t real. Even if it felt real, she had been dozing on her couch with the rain beating on her roof and here she was, snuggled in her blanket, on her couch, wrapped in her blanket with the rain falling hypnotically on her roof. It was three o’clock in the afternoon and she didn’t really feel like making lunch. Bread and jam and a mug of tea then.

Her mom made a ritual out of tea, heating the pot, carefully measuring out the loose leaf Yorkshire Gold, adding the water right before it was boiling, milk first, then tea. Never any sugar. When she moved out, Brie had been given a two bone china teacups and saucers and a little brown betty pot. When she had company, she still went through the ritual, (allowing people to add their own milk) but sometimes she just wanted a cup of tea. Mug of water, microwave for 90 seconds, bounce the tea bag a couple of time and slosh in some milk. Inez Moreno would be beside herself, if she ever found out.

Brie was stirring in the milk by swirling the tea bag when she realized there were dirty footprints all over her floor. She frowned, wondering who had been in her cottage when she realized the bottoms of her socks were filthy.

Her phone rang and she jumped, splashing hot tea over her hand before running back to the sink and pitching the whole thing and running cold water over her hand. When she got to her phone, it was Mr Lynn.

“Are you alright, Ms Moreno?”

“What? Oh! Yeah, I just spilled some tea and scalded my hand.”

“Not too badly, I hope.”

“I’ll be fine. What can I do for you, Mr Lynn?”

The lawyer sounded more upset than she had heard before when he said, “It seems we are getting some contractors in to look at bringing the house up to current building code. Would you be able to let them in when they arrive?”

“Do I need to show them around too?”

“No. Just unlock the door. They will take it from there. You will need to lock up when they leave.”

Brie considered this. “Sure. How do I get a key?”

“I’ll leave it under the mat. And Ms Moreno? I know he won’t say this himself, but our employer was pleased you joined him for dinner last night.”

Brie froze, too stunned to reply.

“Ms Moreno?”

“Yes. I’m surprised to hear that. I didn’t think he enjoyed my company at all.”

Mr Lynn sighed. “Ms Moreno, I have known Marbus Herne long enough that he is not just a client but also a friend and I can assure you that he has thoroughly enjoyed every interaction he has had with you. Which is saying something. He doesn’t usually meet with anyone twice.”

“Oh.” Brie considered this. “I really don’t know what to say to that, Mr Lynn.”

“I don’t expect you to say anything, Ms Moreno. “

After the lawyer hung up, she had a shower and considered this. She had a dream about visiting the monster in the house and woke up with dirty socks and Mr Lynn arranged to correct her complaints about the state of the place. That was one hell of a coincidence.

This whole story will be eventually available for free on Tumblr (if it lets me), but if you can’t wait, the finished version is available here

#demon #monster boyfriend #monster #terato #exophilia

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healthyworthyofficial · 4 years

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Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos – Kalyn's Kitchen

posted by Kalyn Denny on June 3, 2020 Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos are an ideal Low-Carb dinner; you possibly can serve the tacos with a bought Pico de Gallo or Guacamole to make it simpler! PIN Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos to strive them later!

This recipe for Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos began on Twitter when Marisa from Food in Jars was speaking about a couple of turkey lettuce wrap taco years in the past, and once I checked the recipe, I couldn’t wait to strive it. Then what makes the turkey tacos story particularly enjoyable is that a couple of years later I met Marisa at SXSW, and had a good time chatting along with her in particular person. We’re nonetheless mates on social media, and quick ahead fairly a couple of years later and I’ve made these turkey tacos again and again. Through the years I’ve switched to consuming the turkey combination with crispy iceberg lettuce, though you possibly can definitely use any sort of lettuce you like. And after all I by no means appear to make a recipe similar to it’s written, so I added some inexperienced onions (and much more cilantro) to the turkey combination, and I used a really beneficiant quantity of tomato-avocado salsa. It’s the seasonings with chiles, cumin, and chopped cilantro that seasons the turkey that makes these tacos so scrumptious, and consider me, these turkey tacos are an entire keeper, one thing you’ll make again and again. The recipe makes a beneficiant quantity of the turkey combination, however you gained’t thoughts having a little bit of this taco meat combination left over to eat the subsequent day. It will preserve a day or two days fairly properly within the fridge, or minimize the recipe in half if you need a smaller quantity. And you possibly can undoubtedly make these tacos with floor beef when you’re not a floor turkey fan. I really like the tomato-avocado salsa I used right here, however once I had leftover turkey and the salsa combination was gone I loved this served with Pico de Gallo from a jar, and I believe the tacos could be superb with bought guacamole as properly, in order that’s undoubtedly an possibility if you need a model that’s a bit simpler!

Want extra tasty lettuce wraps?

If you’re an enormous fan of lettuce wraps like I'm, take a look at Low-Carb Lettuce Wraps for tons extra scrumptious concepts, together with a couple of wraps made with collards or cabbage as properly.

How to Make Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos with Tomato-Avocado Salsa:

(Scroll down for full recipe with dietary data.) Heat olive oil in giant frying pan and cook dinner the chiles and spices for a couple of minutes. Then add the bottom turkey and cook dinner over medium-high warmth, till all of the liquid evaporates and the turkey is properly browned. (Most turkey has fairly a little bit of water, so be affected person; this will likely take a couple of minutes.) While the turkey cooks, chop up the cilantro and slice the inexperienced onions. When the turkey is browned to your liking, stir within the chopped inexperienced onions and cook dinner for a minute or so. Then flip off the warmth and stir in the remainder of the chopped cilantro and a couple of T lime juice. While turkey cooks, peel and cube the avocado and blend with lime juice. Chop tomatoes, after which combine avocado, tomatoes, 1/four cup of the chopped cilantro, and olive oil to make the salsa. Season with salt to style. Cut the lettuce in half and minimize out the core, then minimize into quarters. If it wants it I might use a salad spinner (affiliate hyperlink) to crisp the lettuce (or ensure it’s clear.) Just skip that step in case your lettuce doesn’t want washing. I like to make use of Kitchen Shears (affiliate hyperlink) to make cups to fill with taco meat, however trimming the lettuce is certainly non-obligatory! Fill the lettuce cups with the turkey combination and high with a beneficiant quantity of tomato-avocado salsa; YUM!

Make it a Low-Carb Meal:

These tacos could be scrumptious with Marisa’s Cumin Cabbage Slaw or Spicy Mexican Slaw if you need a facet dish for a low-carb meal.

More Tasty Ideas with Lettuce Wraps:

The BEST Slow Cooker or Instant Pot Lettuce Wraps ~ Slow Cooker or Pressure Cooker Low-Carb Lettuce Wraps ~ Kalyn’s Kitchen The BEST Instant Pot Lettuce Wraps ~ Slow Cooker or Pressure Cooker

Weekend Food Prep:

This recipe has been added to a brand new class referred to as Weekend Food Prep that can assist you discover recipes you possibly can prep or cook dinner on the weekend and eat through the week! Ingredients For Tacos: 2 tsp. olive oil 1 tsp. minced garlic (see notes) 1 four oz. can diced inexperienced chiles (see notes) 1 1/2 tsp. floor cumin 1/four tsp. floor Chipotle or Cayenne pepper 2 lbs. floor turkey 1 tsp. salt (kind of to style) 1/2 cup thinly sliced inexperienced onions 1 cup chopped cilantro (see notes) 2 T recent lime juice 2 heads iceberg (see notes) For Salsa: 2 medium avocados, diced 1 cup finely chopped cherry tomatoes 1/four cup finely chopped cilantro 2 T recent lime juice 2 T olive oil (non-obligatory) sea salt to style Instructions Heat olive oil in heavy frying pan over medium-high warmth after which add minced garlic and diced inexperienced chiles and cook dinner about 1 minute. Add cumin and floor chipotle or cayenne and cook dinner about 1 minute extra. Then add turkey and salt and cook dinner till all of the water has evaporated and the turkey is beginning to calmly brown, breaking up with the again of the turner because it cooks. This can take a couple of minutes, however don’t rush the browning step. While turkey cooks, thinly slice inexperienced onions and put aside, then wash cilantro, spin dry or dry with paper towels, and finely chop cilantro. Peel and cube avocado, place in glass or plastic bowl and toss with lime juice. Stir in chopped tomato, chopped cilantro, and olive oil, season to style with salt. Cut off root finish of lettuce and minimize away the core. Discard powerful outer leaves, then minimize the lettuce into quarters to create “cups” to fill with taco meat. (Save the small interior items for one more use.) When turkey is calmly browned, add sliced inexperienced onions and cook dinner one other 1-2 minutes. Turn off warmth, then stir in 1 cup chopped cilantro and a couple of T lime juice. To assemble tacos: Spoon 2-Three giant spoonfuls of turkey combination into each bit of lettuce. Top meat combination with salsa. (You may also serve the tacos with chunky salsa and/or guacamole from the shop if you need a better model.) You might additionally eat this combination inside entire wheat tortillas or pitas, and even corn tortillas when you’re not watching carbs. If you’re not consuming all of this without delay I might refrigerate the turkey, lettuce, and salsa combination individually; then reheat the turkey in a frying pan once you’re able to eat the leftovers. Notes I used minced garlic from a jar, however recent garlic could be even higher. Use diced inexperienced chiles, not Jalapenos except you need it actually spicy. I used about 1 1/four cups chopped cilantro, 1 cup in tacos and 1/four cup in salsa. Use kind of cilantro to style. Use any lettuce you like like romaine, Boston lettuce, or butter lettuce Recipe tailored from Molly Watson’s Turkey Tacos, found by way of Twitter from Marisa however that recipe is now not on-line. Nutrition Information: Yield: 10 Serving Size: 1 Amount Per Serving: Calories: 358Total Fat: 26gSaturated Fat: 6gUnsaturated Fat: 18gCholesterol: 96mgSodium: 385mgCarbohydrates: 10gFiber: 5gSugar: 4gProtein: 25g Nutrition data is mechanically calculated by the Recipe Plug-In I'm utilizing. I'm not a nutritionist and can't assure 100% accuracy, since many variables have an effect on these calculations.

Low-Carb Diet / Low-Glycemic Diet / South Beach Diet Suggestions: These tacos made with lean floor turkey and served inside lettuce are an ideal dish for any section of the unique South Beach Diet or some other low-glycemic or low-carb consuming plan, even Keto. The tomato-avocado salsa does add some carbs however they each have fiber so the online carbs are fairly low. Find More Recipes Like This One: Use Lettuce Wraps to seek out extra recipes like this one. Use the Recipes by Diet Type photograph index pages to seek out extra recipes appropriate for a particular consuming plan. You may additionally wish to Follow Kalyn’s Kitchen on Pinterest to see all the nice recipes I’m sharing there. Historical Notes for this Recipe: Turkey Lettuce Wrap Tacos with Tomato-Avocado Salsa had been first posted in April 2009; the recipe was final replace June 2020.

posted by Kalyn Denny on June 3, 2020 Don’t Miss a Recipe! subscribe to obtain new recipes by way of electronic mail: We are a participant within the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate promoting program designed to supply a way for us to earn charges by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated websites. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. (function(d, s, id){ var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s); if (d.getElementById(id)) {return;} js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.6"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk')); Source link Read the full article

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iesika · 7 years

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In the summer of 2011, psychiatrist and FBI consultant Dr. Hannibal Lecter travels with a crack forensic team to the murder capital of America to assist the New Orleans field office in hunting a possible serial killer. But bodies aren’t the most interesting thing he finds when the water starts to rise.

Or, What would have happened if Will never left Louisiana?

Chapter Two is up! Please note the warnings and tags, and please reblog.

Bedelia once referred to his carefully structured public persona as a 'person suit.' It seems an apt metaphor, having traded his polished and tightly tailored wardrobe for something lighter and easier to move in, for the day. For the night, as well.

Or, Hannibal goes exploring.

This time around, Hannibal had hand pies* and beer ice cream at The Junction. I’ll make a post in a few days with some of the locations from his course crawl, and one later tonight with some music. For now, here’s how to make a pie!

*does not contain hands

Fried Hand Pies

For the filling: 6 to 7 oz dried fruit, such as peaches, apples, or apricots 2 cups water 1 cup sugar 4 Tbsp (½ stick) butter or margarine 1 Tbsp lemon juice ½ tsp ground cinnamon For the dough: 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp salt ½ cup shortening ½ cup milk, plus more if needed Vegetable Oil

Directions

Place the dried fruit in a large saucepan and add the water and sugar. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cook until the fruit is tender and the sugar is dissolved, about 20 minutes.

Add all the other ingredients and mash together with a potato masher or fork. Set aside while you prepare the dough.

To make the dough, in a medium bowl, combine the flour and salt. Cut in the shortening with a long-tined fork. Add the milk and stir until the dough sticks together. Divide into 10 portions. Roll each portion out on a floured surface into a 5- or 6-inch circle. Place 2 tablespoons of filling in each. Wet the edges and fold over, crimping with a fork.

In a large skillet, pour the oil to a depth of ¼ inch and heat over medium heat. Add the fruit pies to the hot oil and fry until browned on both sides, 3 to 4 minutes, turning as needed. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate.

or the easier, more sugary but still delicious, still authentic (for a different value of authentic) semi-homemade version, skip to half-way through step three and substitute:

1 or 2 cans (10-12 pieces) biscuit dough rolled into 6 inch circles 1 can pie filling OR a cup or two of old-fashioned pudding (chocolate or vanilla usually) or some combination.

(For any readers outside the US, a biscuit is not a cookie. This is a biscuit)

Beer Ice Cream

8 oz of beer (helps if you pour it early and let it flatten) 1/2 teaspoon salt 3/4 cup sugar 6 egg yolks 1 pint (16 oz) heavy whipping cream

Whisk together the yolks, salt, and sugar in a sauce pan or pot. Then mix in the whipping cream.

Slowly heat to 180°F, stirring often. This should take 10 minutes or so. You don't want to go too high and scramble the eggs.

When the mixture hits 180°F, remove it from the heat and pour it through a fine mesh strainer into a medium-sized bowl.

Whisk in the beer.

Immediately put the medium bowl into an ice bath to cool it (this should feel familiar to homebrewers).

When the mixture hits 70°F, remove it from the ice bath. Put Saran wrap on top and put the bowl in the fridge to cool overnight.

When chilled, remove the bowl and pour the mixture into the spinning ice cream machine. The machine's container should be completely frozen.

It will take 20-30 minutes to make the ice cream, during which time you can add any ingredients you want to it.

If you let it sit in the freezer for a while it will harden up.

Muffuletta

1 round loaf Muffuletta Bread or Italian-style bread, 10-inch in diameter Olive Salad (you should probably just order this) 2 ounces salami, thinly sliced 2 ounces Italian ham, thinly sliced 2 ounces Provolone cheese, thinly sliced

Cut bread in half and scoop out about half of the soft dough from top and bottom pieces (this is to provide more room for the sandwich ingredients). Brush the inside bottom of loaf with juice from the olive salad marinade.

Layer salami, Italian ham and Provolone cheese on the bottom piece.

Top with as much olive salad as will fit without spilling out. Add top of loaf

Smush. For extra goodness smush under a weight, like a cooking sheet with stuff on it, and leave it for later. When you come back, slice the sandwich into quarters.

#what the water gave me #recipes #hannibal fic #iesika fic #hannigram

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olwog · 4 years

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So Peeps, we learn that people walk the Camino for a variety of reasons but they all have a story. We’ll learn that Carolyne is recovering from cancer and I’ve had a major operation on an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm so making the most of our allotted time is important. So here’s my tale.

Last November, we went for a walk…

The Camino del Norte is about 800km (500 miles) long and stretches from Irun to Santiago de Compostela. It takes about 37 days but we don’t have to do it all in one and my first walk is less than a week and the next one a full week.

You can start from virtually anywhere…

But we’re walking The Norte..

This walk is reported to be tough and at 25 kilometres/day it certainly matches any of the walks I do in Yorkshire, the difference is in height and the stones and there’s plenty of both.

We leave the pension (hotel) and are almost immediately challenged by steps, about 60 of them! It’s at this point I remind myself of:

I am now recovered from an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm otherwise affectionately referred to as a Triple ‘A’ but still need to be sensible!

My Achilles injury, whilst not an issue in itself has left me quite unfit.

The fact that we’re carrying our worldly goods on our back will make a difference and I’m grateful for the advice willingly offered by the Pilgrim regarding keeping the weight down. (To explain…the Pilgrim is my close friend and partner Cecilia Kennedy, she’s on her third Camino and well experienced in the ways of the ‘peregrino’ and hence the tongue in cheek nickname).

I’m gratified that The Pilgrim emerges at the top of the steps a little out of breath; however, her recent Camino activity will stand her in excellent stead I’m going to be good for 20 km (12.5 miles) then, in fairness, the last 8 (5 miles) is beautiful and probably more so than the first 20, but it is tough.

We walk towards what is purported to be “the way” but it’s some time before we see the first yellow arrow.

Click on any of the images and you can page through them at full size…

The guy on the Spanish weather site is not in the same league as Carol and seems more interested in the Costas than this northern Basque area. No matter, there’s no cloud so that’s a bonus.

We need some sustenance so we call in at a tiny fruiterers on the outskirts of Irun. He’s very helpful and gives The Pilgrim an opportunity to practice the Spanish she’s been learning. We buy water, Gatorade, a baguette and enough jamon de York to fill it. It all comes at a price just over 4 euros, it really pays to do your shopping on the outskirts of town.

As we’re preparing to leave they point at The Pilgrim’s stick which has been left in the aisle. She swings her rucksack around jeopardising cans of fruit, jars of pickles and a number of items of Spanish meat in varying degrees of aging but missing all by parts of a millimetre, the stick is retrieved and as she returns, oblivious to the recent potential for disaster, I note the shopkeeper’s eyes are firmly closed and the other shopper is standing with arms outstretched in what would have been a vain attempt to catch them. We leave the shop to a duet of buenos dias and a significant sigh of relief with a sensible balance of sustenance and liquid which needs to be enough to satisfy our expenditure of calories but not too much to be cumbersome or heavy, we have over twenty kilometres in front and some of them are seriously ‘up’.

The Pilgrim props the sticks up in a pot in the door to readjust her rucksack and ensure the purchases are distributed evenly to ensure comfort and fit.

About three hundred metres along the road and we stop, “I’ve left my sticks”, she says and makes a return sweep of the shop to retrieve them. When I asked if they’d said anything she responds with, “I snook in and just grabbed them”.

We’re at the outskirts of town and the green of the countryside is a welcome substitute for the concrete and tar of the roads. The pilgrim points at some cabbages in the allotments to our right, it’s like walking with Barbara Good. I have to say her observations are valid though, the cabbages are like giant hogweed and devoid of the grub eaten filigree leaves that we tend to find on organic land back in the UK. This could be down to sneaky use of pesticides or lack of herbivores, they’re so clean I go for the former then feel cynical but either way, they look great.

The Camino is beginning to rise now and the yellow arrows that declare “The Way” are reassuringly closer together. Although we’re still on tarmac the gradient is becoming more acute and where the road ‘hairpins’ it becomes even more inclined. This is both challenging and a welcome early workout to get get us in the mood for the track into the woods.

After half an hour we take a short break to catch our breath and look around. The scenery is what I would expect in Switzerland and before I can say anything The Pilgrim vocalises my thoughts, we laugh! There’s the sea and beaches in the distance and in the foreground, meadows and woods with chalet type houses of various sizes and above all that, a blue sky, this is a great day to be introduced to Del Norte. It has a challenging reputation but the weather is in our favour.

Another half hour goes by and I have a feeling that we’re being followed. Not a sinister feeling and I’m sure it’s not ESP. My belief is that you spot something or someone in the corner of your eye but don’t consciously register it. You then process it and it becomes that feeling and I’ve had it for 5 or 10 minutes when I spot another peregrina a few metres behind. We greet. She’s French and started her Camino North of Paris. She’s been on the road, track and mountain for 42 days and, to her credit, looks like she started yesterday. She gives her name as Caroline and pronounces it the English way, the final syllable rhyming with pine, and then she repeats it saying in France we say Caroleen. As we walk she tells us her story. At only 22 she was diagnosed with a malignant lump and underwent surgery. Following that she decided to spend some time with herself and reassess her life hence the Camino. I’ve got to say, not only has she chosen a long one, it’s also seriously arduous.

Caroline walks with us and we exchange thoughts as we pass along very stony tracks between 800 and 1200 feet.

The views vary from colourful pathways strewn with leaves and bordered by trees with every type of leaf all in autumn colours to dappled glades that are almost silent save the bird calls and even then only very occasional.

We walk along a path that follows a contour for the best part of 10 kilometres but forwards the end, when you expect it to start to descend it challenges you by suddenly going up.

As we begin to descend it’s a relief and relatively easy but as the decline becomes more acute it pulls on the muscles at the front of your legs and on your calf muscles and becomes even more challenging as we reach some steps.

Pasai Donibane and Pasai Pedro are the two sides of a delightful port very much like Whitby. We stop for a drink and a bite to eat at a local cafe and Caroline decides to go on. Our other agenda is to decide if we stop in this lovely town but after discussing it with the ferryman who takes us across the harbour and being told there are no hotels or pensions in this area we have no option than to take on the next 9km.

So off we go towards the estuary and past a small boat building company that’s in the process of repairing an old steamer and also building some kind of schooner which you’re invited to go and see. As the time is quarter to three and we have at the very least two and half hours of walking we carry on to the steps.

The steps skirt the entrance to the harbour and rise some three hundred feet in a zig zag fashion. My legs are aching from the exertions so far and this is a real test but the views take my mind off the challenge and we stop from time to time to make photographs and savour the moment.

Towards the top, there are some picnic tables and bench seats which we take advantage of. We had passed a German guy in his twenties towards the bottom and he’s just made it to this viewing area. Like Caroline, he has a great command of English and asks us about albergues along the route. We tell him that our aim is for San Sebastian; his is a little more modest but we think that the place that he’s got plans for is shut and tell him that. The Pilgrim lets him photograph the page that has the address of the albergue in San Sebastian and I tell him he’s welcome to walk with us but he holds back, perhaps he’s a little shy or more likely, some people walk this to be alone.

This leg of the walk hugs the coast and the views are really quite spectacular with each turn offering a new angle on a bay or cove all heavily wooded and with spectacular cliffs that the Atlantic has eroded over many years. It’s easy to imagine the huge waves and spectacular storms that occur in all seasons but especially during the winter when the jet stream moves north. Today is placid, there is little or no wind and on the odd occasion that we see a house with a wood fire, the smoke rises vertically.

We stop from time to time for a pee or just to listen to the silence or occasional bird, it’s a great day.

About half way through this last leg there is an aqueduct with several arches. The guide suggests that pilgrims with a head for heights may wish to take this as a shortcut. It saves about three metres but I decide to give it a go anyway for the photo experience and The Pilgrim does the honours with the camera.

The path is now tacking back inland and we arrive at a tarmac road with a lot of shouting going on behind a wood. It turns out that there is a football field hidden by the trees which would have been the way that E. Walker and Chris Lennie describe in their guide. We follow the yellow arrows and the map on the phone which, whilst being the designated way, is a singularly challenging route that involves another 500 feet of ascent albeit in stages.

We take a break on a large stone and 5 minutes later the German passes us with a smile but his demeanour is really grim, he’s looking quite all in.

In another half kilometre we meet him again with a guy that’s offering accommodation to pilgrims free of charge. He looks like an elderly hippy and whilst we are tempted we decided to carry on and find a place in San Sebastien as planned.

The route is beginning to descend now and the gradient is steep. The muscles in the front of my legs are now complaining but I’m happy that we made the decision to go to San Sebastien even if the accommodation issue in Pasai Pedro made it a no brainer!

We’re descending at a great rate now and the Camino is signposted through a wooded park where the trees are carrying leaves of every colour. This is a great bonus and the soft layer of leaves makes it even more of a bonus as it cushions our steps.

The Pilgrim asks me to stop and listen so we do. It’s surreal how wonderful the lack of traffic noise, or any noise for that matter, and it soothes the soul. We do hear a lone bird calling but even that softens as it glides its way into the distance and all we’re left with an occasional sound of a leaf as it drifts down from its host.

We emerge from the wood onto a track overlooking the cove and sea whilst they sun is beginning to set and we’re hoping to get a glimpse of the big moon as we descend into the town.

The last part of the walk descends some 300 feet and we emerge into San Sebastián complete with traffic noise and bustle.

A coffee is called for in a local bar whilst we use wifi to arrange a hotel.

What a walk. Bien Camino. Enjoy the snaps…G..x

If you think others would enjoy the pictures, walks and anecdotes please feel free to “share” using the links. You can also be informed when there is a new post by “Likeing” my Facebook page here www.FaceBook.com/YorkshireRamblings

This is life after an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm open repair. Don’t be afraid of the operation, it set me free. Please be encouraged and inspired to walk, it’s liberating…G..x

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Camino Test So Peeps, we learn that people walk the Camino for a variety of reasons but they all have a story.

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blockheadbrands · 5 years

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The 2019 High Times Hydro Report

Erik Biksa of High Times Reports:

From the February 2019 issue, we present the 2019 High Times Hydro Report.

Another year flashes by and we arrive back to the annual “High Times Hydro Report”—a place of learning for those interested in growing crops of buds without soil and for those already eyeball deep into cannabis water culture.

Why Grow in Water?

Say what? Of course plants need water. Yes, but they don’t need soil! In hydroponics, an inert growing medium—if any is used at all—replaces the soil. All of the necessary elements or nutrients that a cannabis plant uses to complete its life cycle are supplied in a nutrient solution.

The word “hydroponics” is from ancient Greece, and it literally translates to “growing with water,” or, in this case, with a nutrient solution.

There are plenty of advantages to growing with water. Here are just a few.

Increased Oxygen Levels for Roots

Cannabis roots love oxygen, and the more they can get via dissolved oxygen (DO) and ambient levels, the faster and bigger the plants will grow. Modern growers are just beginning to unlock the potential of increased O2 levels and are making some amazing discoveries. For example, crops can grow bigger with less fertilizer when they have higher O2 levels at the roots.

Furthermore, the aerial portion (the upper green parts) of the crop can still grow and thrive in less-than-perfect conditions (e.g., high humidity in a greenhouse) when there is more O2 for the roots.

Note that a nutrient solution can hold considerably more oxygen than soil or a grow substrate, which makes growing with a water a natural choice for amping up O2 to supercharge crops of heavy and healthy buds—naturally!

Thermodynamics for Efficiency

Water, the main component of a hydroponic nutrient solution, is a much better conductor for heating and cooling than air. That’s why most combustion engines are liquid-cooled instead of air-cooled—fluids do a better job of trapping and transferring temperature differences between the engine and the air.

It is far less efficient to cool or heat the air in an environment like a greenhouse or growroom than it is to cool or heat a nutrient solution. In reality, the plants don’t care what the air temperature is; they care what their core temperature is—the leaf temperature.

Think of sinking your feet into a cool stream on a hot summer day—or placing a cold cloth on your forehead if you are feverish. This does a great job of cooling your whole body by lowering your core temperature. It’s the same thing for cannabis plants: If you cool or heat the nutrient solution that the roots are immersed in, you effectively raise or lower the temperature of the whole plant. This keeps photosynthesis humming along when it may otherwise slow or halt due to warm or cold air temperatures.

Eliminate or Lower Replacement Costs Between Crops

Lugging out old root-balls of dirt or medium from previous crops is messy and costly, to say the least. Furthermore, there are costs associated with disposal and replacement—and these will occur every time you want to replant. With hydroponic methods like NFT, DWC/RDWC, aeroponics, etc. (see “The ABCs of Cannabis Hydroponics Systems” below), there is essentially little to no growing medium to replace; the plants only require mechanical support, as the roots are actually growing in the nutrient solution. This means that a five-foot-round bush might only need as much growing medium, like grow rocks, as would fit in a large-size soda-fountain cup. Compare that to a 20-gallon nursery pot then multiply by the number of plants and you may quickly realize the benefits here. Besides the cost of materials, this means a fast crop turnaround between harvest and planting. The system can be drained, scrubbed and replanted within hours instead of the days required by traditional methods, with very little if anything at all to haul away and dispose of.

Hydroponic System Basics: Recirculating vs. Drain-to-Waste

These are the two basic classifications of hydroponic systems. A recirculating system can also be referred to as an active system. Here, the nutrient solution is reused, circulating through cannabis-plant roots via an active water pump or air pump.

When water falls or moves through the air, it absorbs oxygen. A further benefit of recirculating systems is that they conserve water and fertilizer, reducing the environmental footprint of any cannabis garden. Note a well-sealed (covered) recirculating hydroponic system uses around 50 percent less water than is used in conventional soil growing and irrigation methods (watch dirt growers squirm a bit when you talk about water use).

Drain-to-waste hydroponic systems may still use a water or air pump to distribute the nutrient solution; however, the main difference here is that the solution is not recaptured back into a reservoir after reaching the plant roots and then reused. After each irrigation cycle, the nutrient solution is collected as waste. Thoughtful growers will find other uses for spent nutrient solution, such as irrigating orchards where trees or shrubs are happy to drink up the extra water and nutrients.

The ABCs of Cannabis Hydroponics Systems

In an aeroponic system (the method was pioneered in Israel for performance and water conservation by Dr. Hillel Soffer), plant roots are sealed underneath a light-tight lid, with the upper part of the plant exposed to light. The bare plant roots are intermittently or continuously sprayed with a nutrient-solution mist.

One of the advantages of aeroponics is a very fast growth rate due to the large surface area generated by misting roots, which spurs oxygen absorption. A drawback is that misters are subject to clogging without lots of care and attention.

There are countless variations on the drip-system setup. Essentially, individual plants are irrigated via top feeding of nutrient solution at the base of each plant with “spaghetti” tubing, usually around a quarter-inch diameter. The spaghetti tubing is typically connected to a wider-diameter tube that is supplied by a pump from a reservoir or injector system with gate valves. These systems can be operated as recirculating or drain-to-waste. A bucket system is a type of drip system, as are drip trays (or modified flood tables—see below).

The advantages of the drip system include very precise moisture management with timers or sensors. This system can also easily be scaled up or down depending on how many plants you may have in the garden area at any given time. Clogged emitters or lines are a disadvantage, as are the routine inspections required to make sure they are flowing freely to the thirsty cannabis plants they are supplying.

This is perhaps the first modern hydroponic growing method, and it’s still widely used today. When using this method, a plant is supported by a collar or net pot in a light-tight container, like a black bucket or tote with a sturdy lid. A depth of nutrient solution is maintained just below the bottom of the net cup or stem supported by the collar. The nutrient solution is aerated or “bubbled” by an air pump (aquarium air pumps and stones are often used).

DWC has the advantage of being very inexpensive and easy to set up. Its drawback is that the air stones or bubblers don’t draw much oxygen into the system.

In this system, shallow water-tight trays with grooves in the bottom leading to a drain/fill hose connection holds grow cubes, slabs or pots (sometimes trays are simply filled with medium). Beneath the supported flood table is a reservoir containing nutrient solution with a pump and timer connected to the fill/drain hose. Periodically, the pump fills the tray with a shallow depth of nutrient solution, fertigating the cannabis crop. When the pump shuts off, the solution drains back through the hose and into the reservoir, drawing fresh air into the growing medium for the roots.

The main advantage with this system is that it can be forgiving with power outages, inexperienced hydro-system management and other missteps. There are very few moving parts here for an active system. Its main disadvantage is that larger amounts of inert growing medium are usually required for its operation than in other systems.

A drip emitter delivers nutrient solution to the rootzone; Justin Cannabis/ Erik Biksa

Nutrient Film/Flow Technique (NFT)

Pioneered in the United Kingdom, NFT is a well-proven and widely adapted system favored by commercial veggie and fruit growers all over the world. The basic concept utilizes shallow troughs or channels with lids (or as one-piece tubes) that have holes drilled or punched on top, usually at a fairly close spacing, arranged on a gentle slope. At the high end of the trough, a nutrient-solution emitter (such as spaghetti tubing) delivers a continuous flow of nutrient solution.

The solution flows as a shallow film down the length of the channel across plant roots, drawing air into the solution. The plants are placed into the channel through the holes on the top of the tube or lid. At the lower end, the solution is captured and redirected back to a reservoir, where it is pumped back to the high end of the system for continuous recirculation via emitters.

This method’s advantage is that a large-scale system can be set up easily and quickly, as there are few parts to contend with. Furthermore, the system can be very productive, and it’s well suited for mechanization.

Some might find the higher planting density (which is best for shorter plants) to be a disadvantage, and if there is a power outage there won’t be much nutrient solution in the root zone to keep plants sustained for significant periods of time.

Recirculating Deep-Water Culture (RDWC)

A modernized and amped version of the DWC system, RDWC takes advantage of all the proven principles of DWC and adds the otherwise missing recirculation component. While that’s an oversimplified way of putting it, recirculating the solution greatly improves crop performance and the practical layout potential of the system, making it highly suited to commercial-scale cannabis growing. The amount of dissolved oxygen (DO) that can be achieved in a RDWC setup is very tough to beat. Oftentimes, growers are able to run their RDWC systems with quarter-strength nutrients while still growing huge and lush cannabis plants compared with conventional nutrient-solution concentrations due to the superior DO levels achieved.

Current Culture systems grow enormous plants; Erik Biksa

Important Terms & Principles in Hydroponics

Dissolved oxygen refers to the level of oxygen that has been dissolved into the nutrient solution that is available to plant roots. Cannabis plants thrive in aerobic (oxygen-rich) conditions. Anaerobic conditions, those lacking oxygen, can be detrimental and promote poor nutrient absorption and increase the potential for root rot.

Electrical conductivity, which also is the base value for readings like total dissolved solids (TDS, measured in parts per million, or PPM), refers to the fertility load or potential that is measured within the nutrient solution. For example, the more soluble fertilizer you add to the solution, the higher the value becomes.

pH is a measurement that refers to the relative acidity or alkalinity of substance, in this case a hydroponic nutrient solution. Different nutrients are more available at different pH levels, so it’s important than an optimal range, or “sweet spot,” is maintained. Usually a pH of 5.8 to 6.2 is good for most hydroponic garden types.

Cuttings root quickly and get a healthy start on life in EZ Clone machines; Erik Biksa

Future Hydroponics

To get an idea of where hydroponic technology is heading and what it means for growing cannabis in the days to come, we caught up with some of the leading minds involved in the field.

Christian Long, co-founder and co-developer of Current Culture H2O (cch2o.com) Under Current systems and related technologies, had a few new tools to share that are now available to growers as well as some insights into what the future of growing buds with water culture may hold.

For the everyday hydroponic grower using recirculating reservoirs or applying aeration to systems via air pumps, CCH2O’s new AirReg and Add Back Kit are very useful tools in getting the most out of your hydro system.

The AirReg Kit allows growers to create a measurable amount of aeration through their systems with a bleeder, valve and gauge (measured in inches of water). What’s significant here is that anything over 25 on the dial means that you could actually be oxidizing nutrients—too little and you may not be getting all the air to your cannabis roots that they can use. The Add Back Kit uses a venturi injector that works with any water pump rated at over 500 gallons per hour. Instead of dumping pH adjusters or nutrient concentrates into the system, which can shock plants, the kit provides an attachment to your system pump that siphons up concentrates and adds them to the system at a steady and gradual rate that you control. It’s very handy and does not require any additional power.

Long was very excited to talk about CCH2O’s automatic dosing system. The new doser can be preprogrammed to grow perfect cannabis crops, using ratios and values the company has researched and developed over many years with the help of growers from around the world. The programming adds the right amount of each component in the Cultured Solutions feeding program at the right times. No more guessing what’s optimal or trying to remember how much of what part you added the time before—this keeps your hydro system dialed in 24/7 to optimal pH, EC and ORP (oxidation reduction potential) levels.

SOPs (standard operating procedures) are a big deal with the new generation of legally sanctioned cannabis mega-producers; they are essentially the “playbooks” for their grows. Some of the trends that are emerging and undergoing further development from industry leaders like CCH2O and EZ-Clone incorporate SOPs into technologies like controllers used to run these cannabis mega-farms.

Here’s some of what Billy Blackburn, CEO of EZ- Clone who recently joined forces with GrowLife Inc. and is also now heading GrowLife product development, had to say on the subject:

“While SOPs are invaluable to professional growers, there still needs to be a level of thinking and intelligence making the day-to-day or even moment-to-moment decisions that affect the growing environment.

“For example, when growing on a large scale, consistency is really important—something we know very well in developing aeroponic systems that automate and speed up the cloning process. That’s why we are working with experts in their respective fields in developing controls and sensors for grows that allow us to give them a level of thinking or intelligence—AI [artificial intelligence], more specifically.

“Taking years’ worth of data based on real cannabis growing and incorporating that into how a controller behaves or makes decisions in a complex growing environment is now emerging over the horizon and we are really excited to be a part of that—empowering cannabis growers of every scale to produce the best crops possible while freeing up some of their time and lessening the worry or risk in their endeavors.”

As part of the SOP growing trend, EZ Clone’s Commercial Pro System can be supplied with a comprehensive SOP guide to cloning and mother plants—we are talking about stuff far beyond the basic and rudimentary here. For example, how to avoid creating genetic drift in your valued genetics that may occur over time with successive cloning, and what percentage of a mother plant is acceptable to cut for cloning and how often. The SOP guide will help you quickly understand and utilize information that took many years of hands-on experience and feedback from countless cannabis propagators to develop.

While hydroponics is not a new technology, there are exciting and new technologies from other fields that are crossing the stream and finding their way into growing hydroponic crops of buds—better, stronger, faster!

This article was originally published in the February 2019 issue. Click here to get a subscription!

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON HIGH TIMES, CLICK HERE.

https://hightimes.com/grow/2019-high-times-hydro-report/

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getseriouser · 5 years

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20 THOUGHTS: Don't go there boyfriend!

AT some point in every season a bad start can no longer be written off as a couple bad games, nor should one dismiss a great ladder position as just an easy start to the fixture.

Geelong had arguably the hardest first month and a half based on our preconceived ideas of how 2019 would shape up, and not only did they pass with flying colours they sit perched a game clear on top.

Too, if you’re of the Demon or Kangaroo persuasion, to have only win entering May with percentage as crap as Clive Palmer is likeable, that’s not ideal.

After the conclusion of the festival of footy where now the idea of weekdays without a match seems strange, we can now start to cast proper judgements as to what 2019 has in store.

1. Firstly, how is Jimmy Faulkner going? I mean, sure, its 2019 and language constantly evolves, but whilst I’ve been tight with some male friends before I’ve never resorted to the ‘boyfriend’ pseudonym. Sure, women refer to their girlfriends all the time, but even if it’s all a gross misunderstanding that set the media alight pre-breakfast, the use of that term, amongst blokes, has just got hairs on it, rightly or wrongly. That said, Faulkner as a bowler was proficient both over and around the wicket, so maybe he likes to…. no, that’s cheap, let’s talk footy.

2. Paddy McCartin, pick one, you thought, right, there’s a Tom Hawkins type to kick 500+ goals for the Sainter. Far too many headknocks later and its got the Liam Pickens written all over it. But never fear, Alan Richardson’s theory is that once he is right all will be resolved by moving him to defense, “to change not having to go back with the flight of the ball”…. Ah, God forbid Paddy ends up 10m short of an incoming opposition kick and has to go back with the…. Richo, you haven’t though that through!

3. Let’s address Majak Daw again. This story is ridiculous, but in a lovely way. So whether we should say it or not (and I’m a massive proponent for calling suicide for what it is, but that’s for a different column) this is one hell of a comeback. Perhaps not for the typical sense, reoccurring knee injuries, the Jason McCartney story, but for the stark, cold-world reality of what happened that night on the Bolte Bridge. In a lot of ways, if he is able to return to VFL or senior footy in the next couple of months, as mooted, its less about him and his personal recovery, but more about the bigger picture, one that is now killing more Australians than pretty much everything else. I hope this can make a difference, it bloody well can and needs to.

4. From serious to less so – now Melbourne. Kicked their lowest score since Snake was the preeminent phone app Anzac Day Eve. In real hurt. And its not just one small thing as previously suspected – they don’t win the hard ball, they are getting smashed on the outside and for run, their forward line is as dysfunctional as a vegan at Meat and Wine Co. and their backline shows as much resistance as France in any military combat. Lot to unpack, lot to fix, and those snow chalets are just putting the fire on – this spells trouble.

5. Sydney on the other hand, well Horse has called it – after a gazillion years of annoying over-competiveness, they’re conceding a lean year. But when you’ve dished out such amazing value for ground admission over the last decade, if you’re going to finish near the bottom with a bounce back probably not far away, you can’t have much gripe if you’re a Bloods supporter.

6. The Eagles need to get serious. Easy to say, especially given I have no interest in watching highlights of last year’s Granny, but they’re game style is like a Jackson Pollock right now. If their midfield isn’t punching above their weight Jack Darling is rendered useless, their forwards all look lazy and their backline whilst supreme can't stop the onslaught. Have an easy month coming up and will make finals, but super breakable as per the last fortnight’s evidence.

7. Oh, yeah, the booing last Thursday. Was it coz Pendlebury exacerbated a high in that fourth quarter? Was it because a furiously competitive finish had a couple suspect-looking frees go against the Bombers, whose fans wanted to do nothing but rage against the machine? Or was it the two tribes bristling when Pendles acknowledged the crowd, the Bomber fans wanting to drown out their rowdy rivals? You know what, who cares, we don’t need a symposium for booing, next we’re going to have to stop funny puns on banners, re-write all club songs to be enthusiastically inclusive and do away with scoring all together because awarding winners and losers is essentially marginalisation. So to those who cried foul, its booing – move along.

8. How stiff is Carlton? Lost the Suns game and then let the Hawks back in on the weekend. But, this column must concede, Bolton, an ex-Clarkson man which we acknowledge is key to success (last six premierships), might be just starting to extract from the talent he clearly now has to work with. Want to see them win this week and we will accept our fate – the Blues might be finally alright. But we wait, need to win this week.

9. As for Tasmania, yeah so given the strength of the junior programs and some key KPIs bearing fruit in the game’s NSW strategies, the talent pool for two more teams in the next decade is mighty feasible. So the game of bluff with giving Tassie a checklist for admission is staring down the barrel of actually happening. Right now, if there’s a wager as to whether the Apple Isle has its own team by 2030, get on, it would now need something to go badly amiss.

10. Best on ground on Sunday down there is another this column needs to concede defeat on. With supposedly knees made of fairy floss, Jaeger O’Meara looks like the talent and promise he once displayed as a Sun might be now fulfilled as a Hawk. He is the definition of a jet. Such a shame we don’t have State of Origin, a centre square of him, Cripps, Fyfe and Naitanui is as electric a side you’ll see, would give Victoria quite a run.

11. As for a pair of midfielders not getting the kudos, couple Victorian brothers playing for the Crows – the Crouch boys. Both averaging 30 a game, Cripps aside you hardly see better clearance work, and if the Crows can work their stuff out over the next month or so, they could play finals, be a nuisance, and the two lads from Ballarat will get the recognition they deserve for being proper guns of this competition.

12. Couple more on the Crows – firstly Josh Jenkins. Jimmy Bartel and Matty Lloyd reckon he just comes back in after being dropped for the Saints game last week. Ah, why? Himmelberg came in and whilst not as talented looks a much better fit, structurally, than Jenkins, and given the Crows looked properly good why change a winning formula? Jenkins can sit until the need arises for mine.

13. And as for Tex Walker, gee, if he can stay fit I can’t see why he can’t become the premier big man in the game. Has the size, strength and weapons to excel. You want a bag of five, he can, you want a 15-mark game playing up the flanks, he can, you want some presence for your smalls to work off, he can. Just turned 29, this is it for the lad from Broken Hill, but this column still rates the Texan.

14. So let’s look at the teams we like, in no order let’s applaud the Essendon effort Thursday. Well and truly out of it early but it was sheer talent and will that almost got them over the line. We like their backline, like their kids, Redman, Ridley, and with Fantasia and Francis back in that side, and a fit Joey Daniher, this team wins a final. From there, not sure, let’s see, but this is a good footy team. And capable this Sunday too.

15. As for their opponents this Sunday, how’s the forward line mix? Two-time Brownlow medalist as a midfield playing permanent flank, Gary Rohan, known for his speed, now sitting deep and putting the pace aside. Chuck in the enigma Miers, Hawkins looks in ripping nick – if the Cats go deep, it’s because of the forward line. But it’s still April, so let’s see.

16. The Cats have lost once, to the Giants, down at Kardinia Park too. If I’m putting a dollar on a premier – it’s the orange tsunami. Still holds elite talent, probably the best list with those concessions still ringing true, and just idling at this stage of the season. Will be almost impossible to beat in Sydney and will win plenty on the road too. Don’t forget the Giants.

17. So how many teams can win it – to this point, five. Giants obviously, got to include the Cats, the Pies are in the mix, then the Tigers and Eagles as well. Richmond make the finals, and finish the season strongly, look out, and the Eagles will make the finals and know how to win one. I don’t think they will but shit, they finish top four again somehow then why not?

18. Couple question marks to finish, firstly Daniel Wells. If I’m Collingwood I manage him to be fit for August. If he needs three weeks ‘management’ in June, then fine, love it. But the idea of Wells fit, playing outside of the midfield rotation where a dozen touches could be match winning come the Spring time, it’s just another really problematic magnet for the opposition coaches to be concerned about.

19. And for those that still want to pot Daniel Hannebery’s acquisition, sure, maybe he enjoys inhaling through his nose more than his mouth, maybe it’s a breathing preference, maybe its something else, but let’s not forget, Andrew Lovett cost the Saints the same trade deal and never played a game. But that year was 2010 and they were a bad bounce away from a second-ever flag that same season. Doesn’t mean they have a similar year this year, not at all, but one bad trade does not a bad club make. The Saints will be fine.

20. And lastly, cricket – David Warner, the enigma staring down a return to the national team, has torn the IPL a new one. No-one has scored more runs this season; he amassed 692 from ten digs, which is just insane. The premier white ball batsman in the world right now, so what was a big question mark now becomes our greatest asset perhaps for a World Cup defense. Get excited.

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