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#the boyz kevin fluff
milkybonya · 1 year
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dandelions ☆ kevin moon
order 064, @sunoo-bby : large coconut milk tea with regular tapioca pearls and coconut jelly for tbz Kevin (song is dandelions by ruth b)
#: friends to lovers! , barista!Kevin x (gn)bestie reader, inspired by dandelions by ruth b
[💌: imagining this as the alternate universe of mug and spoon where its reader x bestie Kevin barista instead of x Sangyeon hehe p.s. i tried my best to incorporate many lovey dovey moments like in the song >_<]
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you swung open the starbucks door, accidentally having pushed it so hard that it hit the trash can on the side.
the sound of the door hitting the trash can. it was like Kevin's custom ringtone for your arrival. as soon as he heard it, he knew he'd look up and find you bounding towards him asking for--
"heyo Kevo can i get my usual order!" you said with a grin, leaning against the front counter.
he sighed and shook his head.
"coming right up," he said, purposely sounding like he was annoyingly groaning at you. really, he was trying to hide his smile as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. it had been so slow at work and he couldn't be happier to see you. his heart raced and he was sweating slightly. he couldn't look at you for too long, as though you were too bright like the sun.
meanwhile, you watched his hands carefully steam the milk and put the rest of your drink together. the way he was so relaxed while doing a task (that you would probably mess up so fast because you had no clue how to do it) made you want to just... kiss him. well... as normal friends do, right?
before you knew it, your drink was ready.
"thanks, Kev," you said, taking a sip right away.
"you gotta stop calling me abbreviations of Kevin, y/n," he said with a grin. secretly, he loved it. he loved when you called his name, no matter which version of it it was.
"you gotta stop being such a loser," you threw back, watching him scoff.
"says you!"
you dodged your head as he threw a plastic cup lid at you. then, he left the counter completely, chasing after you and leaving the few customers in there watching the two of you in awe.
"come back! you can't get away with butchering my name!" he yelled.
in that moment, Kevin's manager walked out the back.
"Kevin, can you save your play-fighting for later? at least try to act professional," Younghoon said, trying to hide his laughter.
he found the way Kevin brightened and loosened up when you walked in so endearing.
"hey, y/n!" he said to you.
"oh, hi Younghoon! i'm sorry but Kevin started it," you explained, earning you a light push from Kevin.
"i believe you. we should hire you instead of him," Younghoon joked.
Kevin went back around the counter, wiping down one of the machines while he listened to you.
"your shift ends at 6, right? do you wanna have a movie night together?" you asked.
"at your place, with all the others?" he asked, somewhat sadly.
you hesitated before replying, "no, just us."
Kevin's ears perked up as he heard the last two words. of course, he adored your little friend group. Haknyeon, Sunwoo, Chanhee, yourself, and Kevin were the most fun group to be around. yet, lately he had found himself wanting to just be alone with you. he wanted to give you all his attention, to just listen to you talk about anything.
"let's do it. i'll bring us back some good drinks from here!" Kevin said with a grin, adjusting the glasses on his face.
Younghoon smirked in the back, overhearing the conversation. finally, Kevin is making progress, he thought.
-
three knocks on the door and you opened to find a smiley Kevin, clad in sweats and holding some starbucks drinks. he looked like a walking teddy bear, and you felt flustered just looking at him standing there, smiling prettily at you.
"i brought some for Hak, Sunwoo, and Chanhee, too," Kevin explained, setting the drinks down.
"you know they'll be mad if they find out you dropped by without bringing them anything," you agreed.
and speak of the devil: another three knocks at your door revealed Haknyeon, leaning against the door frame.
"heyyy y/n. do you have any eggs? i'm trying to bake and i realized i don't have any," your friend asked.
"yeah, they're in the fridge," you told him, inviting him in.
"oooo, is that starbucks? wait.. is that my favourite drink? don't tell me that's for me?" Haknyeon assumed, getting excited.
"it is indeed yours, only if you deliver the other two drinks to Sunwoo and Chanhee."
"okay, bet!! did Kevin drop by or something?" Haknyeon asked, pulling the eggs out of your fridge.
"i'm right here?!" said Kevin from your couch at the end of the apartment.
"oh.. Kevin?! you've been here this whole time? why are you so quiet?" Haknyeon laughed. "and what are you two doing without me?" he aggressively whispered.
"fighting off pirates. we're just hanging out! now leave us alone," you whined, pushing Haknyeon out of your place with the rest of the drinks.
with a sigh, you turned to Kevin after closing the door.
"they're not even friends at this point. they're nosy neighbours. gosh, let me watch a movie with my friend in peace!" you huffed, grabbing some snacks from the kitchen.
Kevin's heart ached a little hearing the word 'friend', but he hoped he was just overreacting. he hoped that you felt as happy in his presence as he did in yours, and he hoped you knew how special you were to him: so special that he had been dying to see a movie with you, alone.
"okay... what movie are we thinking?" you asked, snapping Kevin out of his thoughts.
"anything!" he blurted out, laying back on the couch.
he watched you with a smile as you found a movie to play. the whole time, Kevin was just staring at you. you sat in front of him on the floor, being in the mood to stay away from the couch. he was laying on the couch, his head just next to yours. he had the perfect view of your gorgeous side profile, and he traced it over and over again with his eyes. he adored the way your expression changed as you watched the movie. if the characters were sad, you pouted. if they were happy, you smiled.
one of the characters in the movie had picked up a dandelion. you turned to ask Kevin what he would wish for if he found a dandelion.
"but it wouldn't come true..." he said with a pout.
"let's say it would!" you said.
"then... i'd wish.. for you to be mine," he said, quietly.
your ears perked up. had Kevin said what you thought he did?
"wait... say that again," you said, turning around on the floor and facing him.
"i'd wish for you to be mine, y/n. i... like you," he said.
you couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face. all you could think to do was pull Kevin's face towards yours as you pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. you watched him slowly turn a shade of pink as he smiled back at you.
"why the hell did it take you so long to tell me that?" you complained.
"i didn't.. think you would... like me back, i--what just happened?" Kevin mumbled, still in a dazed smile.
"i like you too, Kevin."
"i didn't want to ruin our friendship--"
this time, you pressed your lips against Kevin's, silencing his worries and filling his stomach with butterflies. you felt them within you, too. your entire body felt warm as you pulled away and stared into Kevin's warm eyes.
"shut up. we've ruined the friendship. and now we're dating. accept it," you said, ruffling his hair.
now, Kevin felt like he was a dandelion, floating in the wind. he was so happy he was here watching a movie with you. he was so happy he confessed. and he was so happy the wish he made on a dandelion came true.
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tinytinyblogs · 9 months
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Sunwoo As Your Boyfriend
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Boyfriend
(n.) A person who 90% of the time annoy you, and 10% of the time makes you forget the 90%
The boyz masterlist here #1 #2
Sunwoo is the type of boyfriend who you can lean on. He is mature, smart, and knows how to take care of you. He is also romantic and will always make you feel special. He is always there for you. He is the first person you want to call when you have good news or bad news. He is always there to listen and to offer support. He is mature and responsible. He can handle anything that comes his way, and he always puts you first. He is smart and funny. He can make you laugh even when you are feeling down. He knows how to take care of you. He will cook for you, clean for you, and do whatever he can to make your life easier. He is romantic. He will surprise you with flowers, gifts, and thoughtful gestures. He always makes you feel special. He is always honest with you. He will never lie to you or betray your trust. He is supportive of your dreams. He will always encourage you to follow your dreams and to achieve your goals. He is patient and understanding. He knows that you are not perfect, and he will always be there for you, even when you make mistakes.
Sunwoo loves to fall asleep around you. He loves the feeling of being close to you and the warmth you give him. He also loves the feeling of being safe and secure in your arms. He likes to cuddle with you. He loves the feeling of your arms around him and your body against his. He likes you to hold his hand. He loves the feeling of your hand in his and it makes him feel connected to you. Sunwoo loves the feeling of not being alone. He feels safe and secure when he is with you, and he knows that he can always count on you.
Sunwoo would obviously take you on a beach date. He loves the beach so much, and going with you would be another level of happiness for him. He loves the feeling of the sand between his toes. He would love to walk hand-in-hand with you on the beach and feel the sand between his toes. He loves the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. He would love to sit on the beach with you and listen to the waves crashing against the shore. He loves the feeling of being close to you. He would love to cuddle with you on the beach and feel your warmth against his skin. Sunwoo would also love to do some activities with you on the beach. He might want to go swimming, build sandcastles, or just relax and enjoy the view. A beach date with Sunwoo would be a perfect day. He would be so happy to spend time with you in his favorite place.
When Sunwoo spots you in a crowded place, he will ignore everyone else and make a beeline for you. He will have a sweet smile on his face and he will give you the best hug he can muster. He will tell you how much he loves to see you and how happy he is to be with you. Sunwoo will tell you how much he loves to see you in a way that makes you feel special. He will tell you how beautiful you are and how much he enjoys spending time with you.
When you're with Sunwoo, you can't help but laugh. He has a way of making you feel comfortable and relaxed, and you can always be yourself around him. You both have a lot of similarities, so it's easy to understand each other. You love to play around and tell jokes, and you always have a good time together. You might make up silly songs or dances. You'll laugh so hard that your sides hurt. You might tell each other jokes that only you find funny. You'll laugh until you cry. Sunwoo makes your day full of happiness and fun. He always knows how to make you laugh, and he always knows how to make you feel special. You love spending time with him, and you know that you can always count on him to make you smile.
Sunwoo is not afraid to show you his broken side. He will let you know when he is feeling down, and he will let you know when he is struggling. He will cry in front of you, and he will tell you all of his problems. He knows that you will listen to him and that you will help him to feel better. He trusts you. He knows that you will not judge him, and he knows that you will not tell anyone else about his problems. He needs your help. He knows that he cannot solve his problems on his own, and he needs your support. He loves you. He wants to be able to be himself around you, and he wants you to see all of him, even the broken parts. Sunwoo loves all the attention you give him when he is feeling down. He loves the way you listen to him, and he loves the way you make him feel better. He knows that he can always count on you to be there for him, and he is grateful for your love and support. When you make Sunwoo feel better after a rough day, it makes you feel good too. You feel happy that you could help him, and you feel loved that he trusts you enough to share his problems with you. You know that you are making a difference in his life, and that is a great feeling. Being there for Sunwoo when he is feeling down is a privilege. It is a sign that he trusts you and loves you, and it is an opportunity to show him how much you care. If you are lucky enough to have Sunwoo in your life, cherish him and be there for him when he needs you.
Sunwoo loves to call you randomly just to remind you that he loves you. He doesn't care what time it is, he just wants to hear your voice and tell you how much he cares. Sunwoo's random calls are a sign of his love for you. He loves you so much that he can't help but tell you how he feels, even if it's in the middle of the night.
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hcuyk · 6 days
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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE
SYNOPSIS ✧ although being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae
PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader
GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining
WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)
WORD COUNT ✧ 19k
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⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION
AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves
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PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE
“Genuine question.”
“Shoot.”
“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”
Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 
“Well, he is your boss.”
“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 
“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.
“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”
Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support. 
Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’
For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.
“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.
“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”
“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”
Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.
“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.
“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”
“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.
“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”
“Well yeah, but the—”
“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”
“That’s just how-”
“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.
“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”
“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.
You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.
You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.
“You.” 
Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.
As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 
“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”
“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.
Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.
“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”
Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.
“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”
“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.
“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”
“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.
“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”
“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.
“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.
“You’re not scared of me?”
And you keep falling for the bait.
“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.
Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 
“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”
“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t call me that–”
“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”
What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.
Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 
Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.
“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.
“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”
“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.
“Get a room—!”
“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”
“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 
“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”
“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”
You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).
“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.
“And apparently horny too.”
“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 
“Hello? I’m still here.”
“Look at that. He already misses me.”
“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.
“Ew.”
“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 
“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”
“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”
He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 
Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.
“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”
You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.
“Now why the hell do you think—”
“Zip it.”
Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.
Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.
“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”
“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.
“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.
The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.
“You can’t be serious.”
Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.
“You’re the one in denial.”
Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.
“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.
The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.
“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.
“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”
For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.
“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”
Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.
“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”
“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”
“It was a mistake, okay?”
“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 
Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 
All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.
“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”
“You’re still with him??”
“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”
And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.
“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”
“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”
“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”
“Again, none of your fucking business–”
“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”
“I am not going to repeat myself-”
“Can’t you just listen to what I-”
“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.
Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.
After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 
“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”
Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 
“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”
“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.
“It isn’t right—”
“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”
Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.
You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.
Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.
“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.
When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.
“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”
And with that, you left. 
//
Kevin apologized to you the morning after.
He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.
According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.
Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.
But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain. 
It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.
He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 
Yet it all felt so different.
Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.
You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 
There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 
Then you would never have to see him in college.
Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 
Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.
But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?
From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.
He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.
He knew when to stop.
Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?
“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t show up for a single class.”
Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.
“That’s not like him,” he replied.
“Yeah.”
“I wonder why.”
“I wonder too.” 
After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.
“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 
“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 
You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.
Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.
“Why are you thinking about him?”
That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.
“What?”
“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”
“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”
Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.
“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”
“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!”
You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.
She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 
“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”
She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.
“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 
“Your outfit’s really cute today.”
“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”
“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”
“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”
She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.
“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”
The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.
A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.
“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”
“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 
“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”
You knew it.
Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.
“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?
“So you want me to do it?”
“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”
You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.
Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.
“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”
“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.
“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”
The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 
“What?”
Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.
“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”
Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.
“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 
When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.
“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.
There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 
//
With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.
The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.
But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?
As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.
Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over. 
Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.
You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 
Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.
Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.
The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 
“Nice try.”
You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.
Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 
“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.
Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 
“What do you mean?”
Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.
“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”
“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 
Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 
“What–?”
“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”
“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”
“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.
“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.
Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.
Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.
“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”
“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.
“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”
“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.
Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?
The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 
As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 
You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 
After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.
Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 
You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.
Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.
You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.
“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.
“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”
“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 
“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.
And just like that, she continued running off. 
You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.
Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.
When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.
Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.
So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.
Of course it was Hyunjae.
You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.
The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 
You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.
Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 
“You’re not even halfway yet?”
In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.
“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.
When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.
 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 
“You’re taking too long.”
“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.
And Hyunjae was totally judging.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just go home.”
Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“I can do it myself,” you explained. 
“What are you even doing?” 
“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.
“You’re struggling.”
“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.
“Let me do it.”
Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.
“You’re kidding.”
“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”
“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”
Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.
“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”
“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 
“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.
“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.
Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.
Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.
“Hyunjae, I swear—”
“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 
Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 
You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.
By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.
As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.
Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 
“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.
Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.
“Hey, baby!”
You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.
“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.
“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.
“Of course I was, baby.” 
You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.
But then it fell.
Something felt off.
//
If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 
Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.
Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 
Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity. 
All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.
It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different. 
Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.
Except for one thing; your fury.
There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 
Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 
Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 
Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.
The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.
It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.
Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 
So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.
What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn.
Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?
He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 
It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 
At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 
But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.
Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.
“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.
“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.
Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic. 
With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night. 
After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.
“Hello?”
With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.
“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 
You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.
There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.
“I need a ride.”
Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.
Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.
He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 
But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.
After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 
He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.
“Drink up and find an Uber.”
“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.
“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"
Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?
But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 
God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.
For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 
It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 
Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.
You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 
In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.
He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 
Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.
Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.
While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 
Where did he even come from?
And why was he so quick to listen?
You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.
You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.
“Drive.”
Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.
“Where to?”
“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”
The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 
You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).
After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.
It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.
Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.
“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.
“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”
Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.
Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.
“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 
You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 
Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.
There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.
Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.
And your voice broke the silence.
“How long have you known?”
Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 
His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.
“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”
Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.
Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.
Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.
But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.
“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.
The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner. 
His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.
At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 
Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 
Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 
Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.
There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 
It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.
The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.
Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 
Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.
You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.
“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.
“I know, Jae.”
Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.
Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—
You laughed.
Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.
“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”
His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 
“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”
You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?
It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 
“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”
Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.
“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?
You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?
And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 
You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.
Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.
Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 
Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.
“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped. 
“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.
Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.
“Please.”
Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 
“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 
You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.
“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”
Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 
But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.
“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.
“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”
Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 
But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?
Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 
“You’re using me.”
Your expression didn’t falter.
“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.
“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”
“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 
He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.
He knew better.
“You’re using me.”
You both knew better.
Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.
“And I say take advantage of it.”
Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.
Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 
The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.
You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.
When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 
After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.
“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 
“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.
“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 
Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.
Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.
You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 
Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could. 
Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 
“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.
“But it’s true, no?”
“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.
You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.
The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.
He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.
You wanted to be his downfall. 
Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.
“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”
“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.
And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.
Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all. 
But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 
Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.
He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.
“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?” 
Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.
He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.
Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 
“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”
“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.
You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.
But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 
When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.
“Did I do this?”
His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 
He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.
“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.
“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”
“A favor is a stretch—”
Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.
“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”
He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 
Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.
“Jaehyun, please,” you begged. 
He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 
Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.
“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 
“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”
Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 
When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 
“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 
He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 
As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 
The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.
Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.
“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”
There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.
And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.
Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 
“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 
“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 
You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.
“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.
He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.
“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”
The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.
“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”
You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 
With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.
“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.
He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 
“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 
“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you. 
“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.
“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 
“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.
“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 
Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 
He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.
And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.
He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.
Oh, and there was the recording too.
While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.
You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.
“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 
“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time. 
Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”
Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.
Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.
He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.
“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 
Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.
“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”
“Mine.”
You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.
Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 
“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”
He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.
Maybe you were his.
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OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]
NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ
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© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/
141 notes · View notes
cupidjyu · 11 months
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caught in the loving act?!
(98 line) when he hears you talking about them fondly
genre: flirting, shy juyeon, everyone is flirty juyeon's just a big loser. kissing, hugs, smiles all around! notes: i don't have much to say, just know that i am literally about to fall asleep ^.^ word count: 1.3k
juyeon
You were calling your friend on the phone in another room. You were so immersed in your conversation, that you didn’t hear his knocking on the door. 
He sighed at the lack of response. He wanted to ask you what show you wanted to watch later for your scheduled movie date night. But with no answer, he decided to open the door. But, he froze when he heard his name.
“Isn’t he the cutest? People always say he looks intimidating, but they don’t actually know just how cute he is,” You rambled on and on, your legs kicking on the bed excitedly. “Like how clingy he is? He’s really clingy. And also pouty, especially when you tease him.” You let out a sigh. “I love him so much.”
Then, you looked at the time. 
“I have to go,” You giggled. “i have a date with the love of my life.” You hung up and stood up. When you turned around, you were met with the sight of him staring at you shyly. He couldn’t even look you in the eye, his cheeks flushing. “Hi, Juyeonie?” You titled your head. Then your lips curled up mischievously. “Did you hear me talking about you?” You eyed him coyly.
He blushed even more.
“Yes…” He mumbled, looking down at the floor as he shifted. He let out a sudden whine. “But did you have to expose my habits just like that? It’s– embarrassing.”
You laughed and nodded, pulling him into a hug as you looked up at him. “Of course. I think your habits are the cutest.”
“But only you’re supposed to know about them.” Juyeon huffed with a pout. “Now the whole world knows.”
“Don’t be sulky.” You poked his cheek. “You’re too cute when you’re sulky.”
He whined again, making your eyes soften. “But I only want you to see this side of me.” He frowned, eyebrows furrowing.
“Okay, okay, fine.” You soothed him, brushing his hair out of his face in which he melted into your touch. “My big baby. Only for me.”
“That’s right.” He crossed his arms before pulling you into a heart-stopping kiss. 
kevin
He wandered the house, tidying up random things and letting out occasional sighs of boredom. But suddenly, he heard your voice from across the apartment shouting. He was definitely worried as he rushed over to check on you. The door was slightly ajar and he could see that you were video-calling your friend.
He gasped, his cheeks immediately feeling hot. You were holding one of his artworks. 
“Isn’t it so amazing?” You yelled excitedly. You kicked your feet with adorable giggles. “My boyfriend is such a great artist. I love him. Look how good this one is…” You pulled out another artwork. But what Kevin noticed was how gently you handled the canvases, which made his heart melt.
“Another one!” You beamed.
Your friend clapped briefly before giving you a worried look. “Y/n, maybe just calm down a bit.”
“No–” You shook your head stubbornly. “I have to show you another one–” Your words were interrupted when you heard the door creak open from behind. You whipped around to see him leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed as he wore a fond smile.
“She’s right. Maybe take a deep breath?” He smiled.
Your body went rigid. “K-Kevin?”
“Hi, love.” 
You hadn’t noticed your friend hang up already.
“What were you doing just now?” He laughed, approaching you, almost making you want to shrink with mortification.
“I was… showing your art…” You muttered. 
“Really? Because as far as I know, that art was made specifically for you.”
“Was it?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. He pulled you into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your forehead. “Is the art pretty?”
“Of course it is.”
“Then the art was made for you. Since you’re beautiful.” He caressed your cheek.
You stammered, unable to come up with a response. Instead, you opted for burying your flushed face in his chest.
chanhee
It wasn’t often that your friend came over, so it was natural for you to be excited to see her again. The two of you went off to talk and have fun in another room as Chanhee kept to himself, scrolling through his phone with music playing in the background. But over the music, he could hear you speak his name. He tilted his head in confusion as he walked over the room.
He saw that the two of you were looking at the computer. Specifically, online shopping on a popular website.
“What about this one?” Your friend asked, pointing at the screen.
You stared at it for a second before shaking your head. “No. It has to be perfect.”
Your friend whined. “We’ve been looking for twenty minutes already.”
“If I’m trying to get a gift for him, it has to fit him,” You explained with a serious expression. “He’s already perfect! Something pretty, nice, and adorable… just like him.” You looked up at the ceiling with lovesick eyes.
Your friend rolled her eyes. “You’ve unbelievably whipped.”
“I am,” You sighed. “I’m in love with him.”
When your friend left, you decided to start cleaning up the mess that you two made. But suddenly, someone attacked you from behind, into a firm back hug. You immediately knew who it was, with his typical perfume and all. His chin was hooked over your shoulder as he peppered kisses all over your cheek.
You giggled. “What’s this for?”
“I don’t need a gift.” He whispered. “You’re all I need.”
You froze. “You heard everything?”
“Mhm.” He smiled. “Thank you for being so sweet.”
“Well, because it’s precisely you.”
He hummed in agreement. Then he kissed you again, this time longer and deeper. “I’m in love with you too.”
“Glad the feelings mutual,” You laughed.
“But what if I’m even more in love with you?” He challenged, smiling brightly.
“Oh, we’re making this a competition?”
changmin
You were currently on a video call with a family member and Changmin just happened to walk by. He was about to mind his own business when he heard you start yelling with frustration. He widened his eyes in fear that you were actually getting into a serious argument so he opened the door and peeked in.
“Are you seriously saying that he looks like a squirrel?” The younger boy on the screen looked at you skeptically.
“Yes!” You exclaimed.
“Uh…” He glanced down for a second before pulling up a hideous picture of a squirrel, mid-bite on his phone. “This is your man?”
You groaned, putting your head in your hands. “Why do you always pick the ugly pictures? Changmin is cute. A cute squirrel. Have you seen his cheeks when he eats? I want to squish them.”
“Jeez…” The boy rolled his eyes. “In love much?”
You snorted. “Like you would know.”
He gasped. “Woah. I’m blocking you.” And then he hung up. You fell against the back of your chair in disbelief.
“He actually hung up...”
“A squirrel, you say?” Your boyfriend appeared behind you, smiling cheekily.
You widened your eyes. “Changmin? How long were you– Where’d you come from?” 
“Straight from your heart.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Okay, wow that’s cheesy.”
“Says the one who wants to squish my cheeks.”
You whined, “In my defense, you weren’t supposed to hea–” But he suddenly cupped your cheeks and pulled you into a deep kiss.
When he pulled away, he raised an eyebrow attractively. “Why don’t you call me cute to my face?”
“Why should I?”
“So I can kiss you breathless.”
“Really?” You smirked. You waited for a moment before leaning in and whispering into his ear. “Cutie.”
He laughed, his eyes darkening. “Oh, you better get ready.”
“Ah, I’m so scared.” You sarcastically joked. But then you yelped when he dove in and started kissing you with so much passion, you were in fact: breathless.
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itsbeeble · 4 months
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PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (pt 1)
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SUMMARY: It wasn’t like you and Kevin hated each other. In fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. Well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.
GENRE: smut, very little fluff, a lot of angst
PAIRING: Kevin Moon x afab!reader
WC: 4.3k
SERIES MASTERLIST PART 2
PERM TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @winterchimez @flwoie
18+ MDNI AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
WARNINGS: insults (nonsexual), mentions of injuries, mentions of what is basically sabotage, kevin is actually really kind of a bad person to y/n yall im sorry, kevin is still stupid (keeping with the trends), kevin is emotionally constipated but so is y/n but she's less emotionally constipated, pining, enemies to lovers, making out, marking, hair pulling, scratching, dry humping, poor attempts at humor, guys i'm actually warning you kevin is a total asshole in this
A/N: Idk why i went the angsty route for this but i'm very very excited to be releasing the final installment of this series. this was supposed to be released on christmas but me and fawn did not give ourselves NEARLY enough time to actually prepare this so we had to push it off. Much love, kiss kiss. Anyway thank you to everyone for reading this collab. This is part 1 of the final installment, so please be on the lookout for part 2 on fawn's page!!
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You couldn’t have been more excited to be partnered with Kevin Moon for the end-of-year exhibition. He was kind, he was incredibly talented, he was funny, he—
“You have to be fucking joking.”
— hated your goddamn guts.
You weren’t even sure why. One day the two of you had been just a couple of freshmen, excited to become the best versions of yourselves, and the next…it was like Kevin suddenly decided that he just hated everything about you. He did everything from mocking your solo performances to outright screaming at you for the tiniest of mistakes that not even your professors had picked up on. Your foot was a centimeter too far to the left, your back was arched too much, or your arm looked flimsy. Anything that he could possibly berate you for, he found it. 
“Language, Moon.” Your professor scolded, hovering beside you and gauging both of your reactions. Your thumbnail is wedged between your teeth, and your free hand is wrapped around your waist. Kevin is fuming across from you, staring at the paper with such intensity you fear that it would catch fire. 
“Professor, you can’t possibly expect me to work with her!” Kevin flings his hand out in your direction, and you scoff. 
“You make it sound like this is my fault.” 
“Isn’t it?” He raises an eyebrow, lips curling up into a nasty sneer. “Most things usually are.”
“Oh really?” You drop your hands to your side, taking a small step toward him. 
“Yes!” 
“Like what?” 
You’re inches away from each other now, a palpable tension between the two of you that had your professor shuffling back uncomfortably. A few lingering students glanced at the two of you, whispering amongst each other. 
Do you think they really hate each other?
I think that they’re doing this just for show, just like Sangyeon and his girlfriend.
Maybe they really do hate each other…or, at least, one of them does.
“Like the class performance of Princess and the Pauper last year.” Kevin grins smugly, as if he’d won some sort of competition between the two of you. There’s a flash of anger and hurt in your eyes.
“Let’s not remember that you were the one who dropped me, Kevin.” The smugness dissipates and now your “opponent” is standing uncomfortably before you. 
“I— I know that, but—” You cut him off abruptly, and there are a few tears brimming in your eyes. 
“You know damn fucking well that the performance would’ve been fine had you not intentionally let me fall. It’s your fault that happened, not mine.”
“Y/N,” your professor warns. “Let’s calm down, shall we?” 
Her hand on your shoulder steels you, and your body relaxes. 
“The two of you,” she speaks slowly and calmly but there’s cold authority in her tone, “are going to work together on this performance, and you are going to work nicely. I will not be tolerating arguments this time. If you two cannot prove to me that you can work together as a team then I will fail you, and I will recommend you both be removed from the program. Am I understood?”
You bite on your tongue, eyeing Kevin and waiting for him to respond first. His words dug deep into you. It was easy for you to take the blame for mistakes you made, for starting on the wrong beat. But for him to blame you for his mistake? That was going too far. That was crossing a line that no dancer should ever cross (i know nothing about dancing). 
“Understood,” Kevin mutters after a moment, and you nod your head slowly. 
“Understood.”
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“I think we should do Angel by Keshi.”
“And I think that’s the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.”
Your eyes widen when Kevin says that with his back flat on the ground of the practice room you’d rented. He’s got a stress ball in his hand, throwing it toward the ceiling and waiting for it to fall back down into his hand. For at least an hour, it had been, essentially, a one-sided discussion with you throwing out ideas and Kevin ignoring you as best he could until you threatened to tell the professor he wasn’t being cooperative. He’d proceeded to call you a “stupid snitch” before responding to each suggestion you threw out with something negative.
“If it’s so dumb then how about you give a suggestion for once?” You retort. “Instead of just sitting there moping like a child.” 
“Ooh, good one,” Kevin says mockingly, his eyes narrowing at you after. You know he can see you’re getting frustrated with him. You can see it in the smirk he sends your way as he sits up. “Stings real bad, Y/N.”
“Why are you such a prick?” You grab your crossed ankles, rocking back and forth on your butt. 
“Why are you such a teacher’s pet?”
“I’m…I’m literally not.” Your head tilts and Kevin shrugs.
“Sure you aren’t.” 
“Can you focus please?” Kevin rolls his eyes when you change the subject, leaning back onto the palms of his hands and spreading his legs out in front of him. 
“I’ve been focused, you’re the one who keeps getting distracted by me.” 
Your jaw falls slack. You kept getting distracted? The whole time the two of you had been in this room, he had done absolutely nothing to contribute. You, arguably, were the only one not distracted!
“What if we did—”
“Partition by Beyoncé.” Kevin interrupts you, and you quirk an eyebrow.
“I’m not doing that song with you.”
A smirk, and he leans forward. “Why? Afraid you’ll be seduced by your enemy?” 
It's too late for that. “Nope. I just don’t wanna be that close to you at all. You fucking smell.” 
For the first time ever, Kevin falls silent. His jaw hangs open and his eyebrows shoot to his hairline. Internally, you cheer at how you were likely the first person (as far as you know) to make him shut up for a few moments. 
“I do not smell!” He snaps, finally jolted from his stupor when you clear your throat. 
“You kinda do, Kev,” you pick at something on the ground. “Sorry to be the one that broke it to you.”
“Don’t call me Kev.” 
You look at him, and his nose is wrinkled with disgust. He doesn’t look angry, per se, but he isn’t exactly the most pleased you’ve seen him. 
“Sorry.” 
Kevin goes quiet again, and now both of you are picking at the floor. 
“So we’re doing Angel, right?” You ask, trying to clear the awkward air. Your partner kisses his teeth and shakes his head.
“I really think we should do Partition.”
“Why are you so set on doing such a sexual song?” Your cheeks are warm, but you try to ignore it as best you can. Kevin notices, that smug smile returning to his face.
“Why are you so uncomfortable with it? People love these types of performances.” He has a point, but you’ll die before you let him know it. “They love tension between dancers. Gives them a thrill.”
“It’ll be thrilling when they see my fist in your face,” you mumble so he can’t hear you.
“What?” His eyebrows knit together and you smile coyly.
“What?” Your voice is pitched up to mock him, and a muscle feathers in his jaw. 
“We’re doing Partition.”
“Whatever you say, boss.” 
He kisses his teeth again, returning to leaning on the palms of his hands. You lay flat on your back, fingers splayed across your stomach. 
“You’re annoying. You know that, right?” You hear him shift on the ground, and then his face appears in your periphery  A dry laugh escapes you.
“That’s not what your mom said last night.” 
“Don’t— don’t talk about my mom.” You lift your head off the ground, a lazy grin plastered onto your face when you see Kevin’s lips twitching. “That— that wasn’t funny. Like, at all.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t, Kevin.” You agree, lowering your head back to the ground. 
“I’m serious, Y/N. You aren’t funny.” He stands up, gathering his belongings and keeping his back turned. Had you not seen him fighting a smile just a moment ago, you would have thought he was truly angry with you. Or, perhaps, he was angry with you, but the joke was enough to get him to crack a smile.
“I believe you,” you sat up again, following his lead and grabbing your own items. “Totally. Why wouldn’t I?” 
He turns to look at you again, his expression shockingly dull when he meets your eyes. The tension is back, and you shuffle awkwardly in your spot. In the silence of the practice room, you’re struck with the urge to ask him questions. Why he hates you, why he dropped you during the performance. It had been on your mind for so long, but not once have you had the strength to ask. Now, though, you have an unstoppable urge. 
You clear your throat, dipping your head down for a second and then lifting it to keep your eyes on him. 
“Why d—” 
You’ve barely gotten one word out before Kevin interrupts you again, taking long and heavy steps to the door. It’s as if he’d sensed your questions, your curiosity. His timing certainly made it seem that way.
“I’ll text you when we can start working on the choreography.”
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Kevin slams the door of the TBZ house so hard that the walls shake. 
“Why the fuck are you slamming my doors?” Sangyeon yells from his bedroom, his voice muffled by the distance between them. 
“Sorry!” Kevin yells back, but he’s not. He’s not sorry at all, not now at least. Why the fuck did he have to get paired with you? Of all the people in the class, why did the professor think it was a good idea to stick the two people who hate each other the most on a team?
“You’re lucky that Sangyeon’s too busy getting his dick sucked to care that you slammed the door.” Changmin peers at Kevin from the kitchen counter, hunched over with a frog-shaped cup in his hand. The older of the two wrinkles his nose in disgust, making his way to the counter and sinking into a barstool. 
“Didn’t need to know that detail, but thanks anyway.” 
“No problem,” Changmin grins sarcastically, lifting his cup as a sort of toast. “What’s got you so ticked off anyway?”
“Some stupid assignment my professor assigned me.”
“Oh, right. The dance one?” 
“Yeah.” 
Kevin drops his head into his hands, rubbing at his eyes with the base of his palms. Then he raises his head, eyebrows knit together in confusion. 
“Wait, how did you know about the assignment?” 
“One of my friends is in that class,” Changmin sets his cup down and leans forward to fold his arms on the granite countertop. “He said he saw you being a dick to Y/N after you found out the two of you were partners for the exhibition.”
“Well, she deserved it,” Kevin grumbles, dropping his hands onto the counter. 
“She always deserves it, according to you.” Changmin kisses his teeth and purses his lips. “Why do you hate her, anyway? She’s a fantastic dancer, she’s super nice, she’s really pretty. She’s got your humor, too, so shouldn’t the two of you, like, get along?”
“Y/N L/N is the spawn of the devil himself, and I’ll die before I get along with her.”
“Okay, I get that, but why?”
Why. Why do you hate her so much? What could she possibly have done to make you drop her in the middle of one of the most important performances of your college career?
“She…” Kevin trails off, his face heating up with embarrassment. “She spilled coffee on me during freshman year.” 
For a few moments, Changmin says nothing and Kevin thinks that the younger man didn’t hear him. Then he speaks, and Kevin wishes he hadn’t said anything at all.
“You…broke a girl’s ankle…and almost ruined her chances at ever dancing again…” Changmin speaks slowly, trying to comprehend the sheer absurdity of what he’d just heard. “Because…because she spilled coffee on you?”
“It wasn’t just that!” Kevin tries to defend. “She got it all over my expensive shirt, the white one you got me for my birthday back in high school. The stain wouldn’t come out, even with bleach, so I had to toss it!”
“You’re the dumbest person I have ever met, Kevin Moon.” Changmin pushes himself up to stand straight, suddenly radiating anger and startling Kevin. “You don’t fucking drop someone and break their ankle because of a goddamn shirt that I bought you from fucking Target.”
“Wait— it was from Target?” Kevin’s jaw drops.
“Yes? Did you think that I bought a wicked expensive plain white button-down shirt?”
“Well, I mean…” Kevin scratches the back of his head, his cheeks heating with embarrassment. 
“You know what?” Changmin pinches the bridge of his nose, biting down on his tongue briefly. “That’s— that’s not the point of this conversation. The point is that you’re a horrible person. You’re a horrible person and if you don’t get your shit together and apologize to that poor girl, I’m gonna get Sangyeon involved.”
“Why— I’m not a horrible person!” Kevin snaps, and Changmin scoffs.
“I truly wonder what she sees in you.” 
For a brief moment, Kevin stops breathing. In that moment, a series of thoughts run through his mind, thoughts that he can’t even begin to process.
Horrible person.
I wonder what she sees in you.
Who is ‘she?’ Why does Changmin know what she thinks of him?
He couldn’t possibly mean you. You hate him, and he hates you. There was no possible way that you cared about him at all, especially after how cruel he’d been to you. 
Right?
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One week.
A whole damn week goes by before Kevin texts you to meet him at practice room 304. To be honest, you would have forgotten about the project had your professor not sent out an email the day prior requesting progress videos to be submitted by Monday morning.
“That leaves us, what, four days to draft at least half of the choreography?” You’re sipping at an iced latte, your back against the mirror as Kevin ties the laces of his sneakers. 
“Something like that.” 
He’s on edge. You can hear it in his voice. Something has him tense and you aren’t entirely sure what to do about it, especially since you aren’t the cause (for once). Part of you wants to ask him what’s wrong, but a much larger part of you is screaming to just leave it alone. For a while, you listen to that larger part. You begin working with Kevin to choreograph the song and while it was a bit awkward for you, you find it much easier to work with him than with previous partners you’d had. You ignore the way your skin burns every time he touches you— correcting your posture, helping you with a movement. You ignore how much you enjoy his hands on your body, however faint his touch is. 
You’d admit that Kevin was right about the tension. The air felt stuffy, the walls closing in on you. It was erotic, the choreography Kevin had created. It was fast, and most of the moves you’d gone through required you to have your body close to his. The audience, however, would love this, just like Kevin said. So, no, you weren’t against admitting when Kevin was right, and you would have told him that at the end of practice. 
Really, you would have!
But then Kevin starts pissing you off. 
Small, quiet comments about how ridiculous you look. Insulting how you do a specific move. Nitpicking every step, every breath, every water break. Sweat is dripping down your neck by the time Kevin officially lets you stop for a while. You can see how tired he is, can see his shoulders slumping and his legs wobbling every time he steps. 
“I think we should call it a day.” You call over to him, and he scoffs.
“Of course you would say that.”
Your eyebrows furrow, and you set your water bottle down. 
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Kevin spins to face you as you say this, his jaw ticking and his hands clenched into fists. 
“You know exactly what it means, Y/N.” He sneers, standing tall when you take long strides over to him.
“No, actually,” you fold your arms over your chest, “I don’t know what it means.” 
“Then I’ll tell you.” His face is now inches from yours, and you back up a bit. Just enough for your face to not be so close to his. “I think you’re losing your touch. I think that you’re sloppy, that you’re arrogant, you can’t admit when you’re wrong.”
Kevin goes on listing these qualities, these faults, and all the while you can only scoff knowing that those are exactly the same things you would use to describe him. 
“I think that—” he continues, but then you’re interrupting him.
“Shut the fuck up, dude.” You can’t stop your eyes from rolling, but it’s not as if you’d planned to hold back anyway. “You think you’re any better than me?”
“Yes, I do.” Kevin tilts his head with a mocking smile. “I think I’m a thousand times better than you.”
“You aren’t,” you tell him, and he bites his tongue when you pretend to pout. “Sorry to burst your egotistical, self-absorbed bubble, but you aren’t better than me. You aren’t a better dancer, a better student, or a better person.” 
Kevin’s gaze hardens, and you don’t notice the step he takes toward you. Or, maybe, you do and choose to ignore it. Maybe it’s exactly what you wanted. 
“You’re full of shit.” He breathes out, and you can feel a few strands of his hair brush against your forehead. The corner of your lips lifts into a lopsided smirk.
“And so aren’t you. We aren’t so different now, are we Moon?” 
A few silent moments. Bated breaths of air. The tension between the two of you is something unlike anything you’d felt before. You take a deep breath, ready to step away from him, and then his lips are crushed against yours in a furious kiss. There’s no love or care for one another behind it, just a fatal mixture of hate and lust for one another. A build-up of tension that could only be dispelled by the two of you.
Kevin’s hands are all over your body— squeezing at your hips, running up and down your waist, brushing over the curve of your ass. Your own hands tear at his clothes, stretching the fabric beyond repair, and your nails sink into his skin, breaking it and making him hiss in pain. Your lips mesh together, your teeth clacking together and your tongues pushing together in more of a fight than a dance of dominance. 
You allow yourself to be backed into the mirror, too caught up in how good his lips feel against yours, and you almost forget how much you supposedly hate him. When his lips fall to your neck and your hands scrape their way up his back, you want to let yourself forget about all the horrible things he’s said to you. His teeth sink into the skin of your neck, listening to the way you groan at the sting, and then his tongue is laving over the spot, his lips sucking at the skin at the same time. He does that over and over again, practically covering every inch of your throat with these marks until it looks like a wild animal got to you.
“I hate you,” Kevin lifts his face from your neck, grabbing your face in one hand and squeezing your cheeks together. His eyes are dark with so many emotions that it has your stomach churning. “I hate you so fucking much.”
You try to respond, but he just squeezes your face tighter and grins maliciously at your desperate whine. He kisses you again, uncaring of the fact that your lips are smushed together and your can’t exactly kiss him back. In fact, it’s almost like that’s exactly what he wants. He wants you to struggle against him, wants you desperate and whining. 
“Isn’t this nice?” He teases, his mouth a hairsbreadth from your own. “Finally quiet for me. You’re so much prettier when you aren’t talking back to me. If I let you go, are you gonna stay quiet?” 
He releases you, and you surge forward to connect your lips in another kiss. Your arms are around his neck and his slide down to your legs, haul you up, and press you against the mirror. You wrap your legs around him, clinging tightly and forcing him impossibly closer to you. Something shifts in the way you move against each other, no longer just your lips and hands, but now your hips are grinding together and you’re moaning, and Kevin is breathless against you, throwing his head back and groaning into the open air. You use this as an opportunity to return the favor, marking his neck up in the same way he’d marked yours (if not a bit harsher). 
“Fuck,” Kevin hisses, hands squeezing so hard at your thighs you know they’ll be bruised in the morning. “Always gotta be so harsh, don’t you?”
“You just did the same thing to me,” you snap back, your body shuddering as he continues to rut against you. Your voice is shaking, containing not nearly the amount of malice you’d hoped it would. You sound desperate, you sound like you want him. Which, of course, you do. But you would prefer it if Kevin didn’t know that.
Too late.
His eyes are gleaming as if in a trance and his hands slide to your ass to drag your hips harder against yours. The pleasure continues to build, your eyes rolling back, and your head falling against the mirror. 
“Thought you hated me,” Kevin coos and laughs when you moan out his name. “Poor baby, so desperate for me you can’t even speak.”
“H-Hate you,” you whine. “Hate you s-so much.”
“I’m sure you do, baby.” He hums, watching as your body begins to convulse. He can feel himself getting closer as well, his dick twitching in his sweatpants. “Go ahead, cum all over the man you hate.”
And you do. Your body shudders, back arching off the mirror as you moan and sob against him. Your hips continue to rut into his, and eventually, he drops his head into your chest, laving with his tongue at the skin exposed by your t-shirt. Your hands are in his hair, holding tightly to the strands.
After a moment, you tap at Kevin’s head to get his attention.
And boy, do you get it. 
As if he was hit with a wave of post-nut clarity, he practically drops you to the ground with a crazed look of horror in his eyes. You frown at him, stumbling back to your feet with legs made of jelly.
“You okay?” 
He backs away from you, nearly tripping over his feet. You follow him, but he’s too fast.
“Don’t— don’t fucking come near me.” He snarls, and you flinch. It’s not fear. It’s hurt. You’re not sure why the statement hurt you, but it did and the feeling stabbed into your heart like a golden dagger. “Stay the fuck away from me. This— this was a mistake. You were a mistake.”
It’s become a sort of habit for him, you think, watching as he slams the door to the practice room. You still aren’t quite sure why it hurts, why your throat feels like it’s closing up and your stomach churns with displeasure. You turn to face the mirror, tracing a hand up your neck to touch the marks on your neck and there’s a sad smile plastered on your face.
It can’t be helped when he’s hated you for so long. 
There’s a crack in your heart, and you wonder if it’ll be fixed just like the crack in your bone from the last time he hurt you.
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Kevin slams the door of his car so harshly he almost fears he broke it. The engine rumbles to life, and tires screech against the ground as he speeds out of the parking lot and gets far, far away from you. 
His hands are shaking, so unsteady that he’s almost afraid he’ll get into an accident. His heart is pounding. Adrenaline, maybe. Fear is more likely. Fear of what he’d just done, what he could have done. It terrifies him, the rush of emotions he’d felt when you looked at him. 
It didn’t make sense to him. You were supposed to hate him, to want him dead. Why did you look at him like that? Like he hung the stars in the sky and painted the moon just for you. Why. Why. You ruined everything. 
A choked sob forces its way up his throat, and he covers his mouth with the back of his hand. 
He doesn’t understand it. Why is he feeling so many emotions from this? He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be feeling this…this…
Kevin doesn’t even understand the emotion he’s feeling, so he decides he won’t bother. 
He’ll ignore you, avoiding you as best he possibly could. You’ll practice alone, that way he won’t have to speak with you. 
Avoid, ignore, hate. Avoid, ignore, hate. 
That was the perfect solution.
Avoid you and the inevitable questions you’ll have.
Ignore you and the looks you’ll send him. The confusion, the anger.
Hate you. Hate the way you make him feel, the way you make him want you.
Hate you.
Hate you 
Love you.
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sungbeam · 6 months
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nonidol!kevin moon x f!reader
another summer break, another annual trip to the lake! except, it seems like when you and kev get there, you'll have to make some tweaks to the original rescue protocol.
▷ genre, warnings. childhood friends 2 lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, humor, swearing, motherly meddling and matchmaking, shirtless kevin..., kissing, talks of academic expectations/pressure/insecurity/and lack of fulfillment, kim seokjin is my favorite plot device, this could technically be slow burn, pining-ish?, im sorry joshua + serena, little to no interactions with the other boyz 😔
▷ word count. 29.0k (...hah)
this is the sixth installment of the love in unity series! reading the prev fics is not required, but i do encourage it :] all prev yns will be referred to as _!yn
a/n: return to summer with me 😌 or for those of u on the other side of the world, we can give summer an early welcome :') treat her w kindness pls </3 hope u enjoy!!
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EPISODE ONE (PILOT): DON’T YOU LOVE FORESHADOWING?
"IT still feels weird, man." Kevin Moon brushed his hand over the surface of his newly cropped hair, freshly cut specifically for this summer break, just earlier this week. He probably should have gotten it done before he took all those pictures with his graduating friends, but life had been busy as of late.
Jacob Bae, best friend, roommate, and one of the recent graduates, chuckled from the other side of the video chat. "I'm sure it does. But hey, it looks good, so it's not like you have anything to worry about."
Kevin glanced over at the car where his dad was gassing up. His mom was in the back seat, waving her arm out the window to beckon him back to the vehicle. "Thanks," he grinned. "Looks like my mom is telling me to come back. This is probably the last time I'll have signal for a few weeks."
Just behind Kevin was the little gas station he and his parents stopped at for snacks and the last leg of their drive. It was tradition that every summer his family made the trek to their lakeside cabin a few hours out of Vancouver. Except last summer, Kevin couldn't make it; in contrast, this summer, Kevin and his parents were going without Kevin's younger sister. Usually, there were a couple other families that were there at the same time, too, who Kevin had grown up with. It was usually a grand time.
Kevin adjusted the bag of snacks he'd purchased from the store that hung on his arm as he made his way back to the car.
"Make sure to take pics! And say hi to your mom for me," said Jacob.
"Why don't you say hi to her yourself, Jacob-ah?" Kevin's mom chided teasingly as Kevin took his place in the passenger seat next to his dad. Ever since Kevin and Jacob had met at that one, fateful out-of-country student mixer at university, neither of them shut up about each other to their own families. It was like finding a needle in a haystack, locating a fellow Korean-Canadian.
Kevin passed his phone back to his mom, and he heard Jacob's immediate, "Hi imo! How are you?"
"I've been doing well. Wah, you look so glowy," his mom marveled, and Kevin felt her nudge him in the shoulder. "Hyungseo-ah, maybe you should get a girlfriend, too, if this is how radiant Jacob looks after so long."
Jacob's warm chuckle contrasted Kevin's groan. The latter rubbed his hand down his face with an embarrassed wince. "Eomma," he said weakly, sliding down in his seat. Not this again.
The car began to roll out of the gas station and he lowered his window to catch the breeze as they went. He already recognized the pattern of trees in this area, and his heart fluttered at the thought of being so close to childhood again. The lake was always a favorite place of his.
"—Kevin mentioned something about other families being there?"
"Oh, yes. We're always there with the Ln family, and more recently, Kevin's cousin—you know Yuna, right? She and her husband Seokjin meet us there with their kids now."
Kevin rested his elbow along the edge of the window. "Uncle Seokjin is an interesting character, Cobie," he mused. "I think you'd get along."
"Seokjin gets along with everyone," his dad chimed in.
"You know who you should get along with, Kevin?—" Kevin already knew where his mom was going with this, "—Yn Ln! You're not gonna be shy after spending so long away from her, are you?"
Jacob's voice echoed in the car. "Who's Yn Ln?"
Kevin squirmed in his seat. "Just—a family friend. Mom, can we please not make this a big deal?" And why in the world would he be shy around his childhood best friend? Three years couldn’t have changed a person that much, could it? You were cute—but in a dorky way—that was how he had always seen you.
She sent him an innocent look. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know what I'm talking about," he said, twisting around in his seat to send her a pleading look. "I don't wanna make her uncomfortable, especially since… y'know… we're not kids anymore?"
His mom made a sound of disapproval, but relented. "Aish, fine. I won't say anything; I promise."
A beat of silence. Then from the phone, "I still have no clue what's going on."
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The twins were being a pain again. Most of the time, since you were away at college, you actually missed the twin hellspawn, but you should have known that bliss would shatter the moment you had to endure another five hour car ride with them.
"—MAMA, CONNOR IS BEING A JERK—"
"WELL, ALICE WOULDN'T SHARE THE GOLDFISH!"
The noise-canceling headphones weren't working. Usually, they worked substantially well when trying to block out the frat party noises at school, but they weren't holding up well against adolescent discourse. You would have thought that once they had grown out of toddler-hood, they would calm down a little, but sibling rivalry prevailed.
You shucked your useless headphones off and twisted around in your seat to peer into the backseat. "Here, have mine," you said, dropping your bag of goldfish into your little brother's lap.
Connor's eyes lit up in delight. "Thanks, Yn!"
Your ears rang as you turned back to the front.
The drive up to the lake house was something you and your family did every summer, except, you hadn't gone two summers ago for a summer internship. It was a tradition completed with other families—namely the Moons, who were longtime family friends out of Vancouver. You hadn't seen Kevin, their only son who was your age, in two years because of your conflicting schedules. It would have happened again this year, but your misfortune had you internship-less. Then again, a trip to the lake was never a bad thing.
You leaned your head back against your seat rest to enjoy the rare moment of silence in the car. Already, you could begin to point out the familiar scenery out of your window.
“I heard we’re gonna be getting new neighbors this year,” you heard your mother say from the front row, breaking the brief quiet.
You blinked out of your daze, shifting in your seat and to give momentary relief to your aching behind. “Oh, really? Do we know who they are?”
“Aw, so Uncle Jin and Auntie Yuna aren’t coming to the lake with us?” Alice pouted from the backseat.
“No, Uncle and Auntie are both still coming up with us,” you dad piped up from the driver’s seat. He caught your eyes through the rear view mirror. “Their little ones are coming, too. We’re just gonna have even more people this year.”
“Should be fun,” you murmured. You leaned down to rummage through the backpack at your feet for your backup bag of snacks (because some part of your brain just knew that the twins would forget how to share).
“I can’t wait to see Kevin!” This was Connor; you could feel the car shake as he bounced up and down in his seat. “I’ve been wanting to show him my new helicopter—”
Your eyebrows furrowed. “Con, you brought the helicopter?”
“Yeah, and what about it?”
Before further argument could erupt between you and your brother, your mom stepped in. “Speaking of Kevin…”
You could feel the coming conversation like there were dark gray storm clouds forming in the distance—impending doom, you liked to think. You fumbled with the opening of your chip bag. “Mama, could you possibly, by any chance, not try and set me and Kevin up anymore?” There, you’d said it. It was out in the open.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” your mother sniffed. “I only think that you and Kevin would be very nice together! It’s already so convenient that our families are long-time friends, and—”
“Mama,” you emphasized. “I don’t wanna get into a relationship for convenience's sake.” Your skin was already beginning to heat. Having known the Moons for so long, as well as having kids the same age, your mom and his mom had harped on the opportunity to bring your families together through more than one way.
“She just doesn’t want to get into a relationship at all!” Your little brother cackled.
You sent him a dull look over your shoulder. “And after I gave you my goldfish?” The situation concerning relationships wasn’t as Connor so bluntly put it; rather, you simply had yet to find the right person, as it was for many people. A relationship would have been nice, but when it came, then it would come. Plus, you were pretty sure that Kevin wasn’t the most comfortable with being matchmade with you by the Mother Matchmakers either. That was what the pact was for, anyway.
“I’m just saying that Kevin is a smart, good-looking young man,” your mother teased.
You hadn’t seen him in almost three years, but how much could three years change a guy? Maybe you would admit that he was cute. If you hadn’t known him since he wore Cars diapers, maybe you would have had a crush on him. “No matchmaking,” you repeated.
Your mother sighed melodramatically. “Fine. No matchmaking with Kevin.”
“Thank you,” you said, settling into your seat. Something stirred in the back of your mind, though. For some reason, you had a feeling that this wasn’t the end of this conversation. But as you turned your attention back to the scenery whizzing past you, you let all dealings with matchmaking, boys, and relationships sink to the very back of your mind.
EPISODE TWO: IT’S CALLED AN AMBUSH
THANKS to the convenience of no signal, you could safely attempt to forget about the internship you hadn’t landed this year. The entire debacle had been a headache and a half, but the residual sadness still lingered. There was something about the lakehouse, though, that gave you hope that you could get over it. While you wouldn’t spend this summer doing something “productive” toward your career, you would at least be presented with a pleasant alternative.
Your dad pulled the family SUV into the gravel driveway of your family lakehouse, and childhood flooded back to you. All of the dark oak walls and browned window sills and wildflowers blooming in the front walkway among the grass… You could remember crashing your bike into that one bush to the side of the house where the rain gutter now stood hugging the building.
The twins had fallen asleep sometime between the matchmaking conversation and here, which left the car in a sort of serenity that matched the surroundings. Your house in particular was one of the few houses that was perched a little higher than the lakeshore. There were a couple around the lake that sat directly on the water with docks built into their lower levels though.
You notched your car door open, shouldered your backpack, then quietly lowered your car’s seat. Connor, who was sitting directly behind you, had his head tilted to the side, mouth wide open to catch flies as he slept. With a cheeky smile, you snapped a picture of him. Once tucking your phone away, you climbed into the back to shake him and Alice awake.
“Hey, we’re here,” you murmured. Your parents were already beginning to unload the car of your supplies for the next couple of weeks.
Your brother’s eyes fluttered open, and his arms stretched over his head as he began to compute his surroundings. “Mmm… I’m hungry,” he babbled and smacked his lips together.
Yep, this one was awake.
You patted his face in your version of sisterly affection as you leaned over him to get to his twin. “You gotta wait, dude. You’re gonna ruin your dinner.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. “You always sound like Mom when you say that.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you huffed. You nudged your sister. “Hey, Alice. Up, hm?”
She shifted in her seat, eyes still closed. “Are we here yet?”
“Yeah, hon. We’re here.” With your task completed, you backed out of the car to make space for the twins to climb out after you. You took a step backwards, your foot catching against something and making you tumble into the person directly behind you. “Ah! Shi—”
“Language!” Your mom called from the other side of the car. “Hi Kevin! Wow, did you get a haircut?”
Kevin…?
You recognized the warm chuckle behind you, and the arms helping to steady you patted your shoulders in greeting. “I did!”
When you whirled around, your mouth stretched in a grin, but you didn’t expect to come face to face with the confident stature of the man behind you. He was in a tank top and shorts, which were definitely proper attire for the humid temperature, and yet, your brain was thinking about the amount of arm muscle there was. Oh, and of course, the cropped black hair. You could have sworn his jaw got sharper, too… This was not the timid-faced Kevin Moon—rising freshman in college—you last recalled.
“Kevin!” Connor’s body rocketed past you and crashed into Kevin’s legs.
Kevin bent down slightly to ruffle your little brother’s hair. “Hey, little man! What’s good?”
“I wanna show you my helicopter—!”
“Connor,” Alice said as she hopped out of the car, “Mama wants you to help bring in your stuff, and then you can show Kevin your helicopter.”
Connor’s mouth gaped open like a fish’s. “Wha—what about Yn?”
“Well, that’s just what Mama said, so,” your little sister said matter-of-factly. She raised a hand in a wave to Kevin. “Hi!”
Kevin returned the gesture with a sweet smile. “Hi, Alice.”
You and Kevin watched as your twin siblings raced into the lakehouse with their backpacks strapped onto their bodies. You could hear their hollering from out here as they fought over who would get the top bunk this year.
“They’ve gotten taller,” Kevin commented, drawing your attention back to him.
You brushed your hair from your face. “Yeah, you should’ve seen my reaction when I came back home and they were like, not small enough where I could trip over them anymore.”
The two of you shared a small laugh, and you held one arm with your other. You hadn’t realized how a few years could reset things between the two of you, but you supposed it was also attributed to the fact that three years away at college could lead to a lot of difference and a lot of growth.
“So what’s new with you?” You asked him and nudged his arm with your elbow. “Have you been working out?” You blurted, but ran with it.
Kevin smiled, reaching back to cup the nape of his neck with that sheepishness you recognized as something distinctly Kevin. Maybe things weren’t so different. “Hah, yeah actually. Is it that noticeable?”
You looked him up and down with what you hoped he saw as teasing and not you actually checking him out. “Yeah, dude. You look good though.”
“Really? Thanks, Yn. I appreciate it.” He stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts. "You look good, too—and oh my god, I have so much to catch you up on—"
"Hyungseo! Stop hogging Yn and come in to help with dinner." Just a little ways down the path, Kevin’s mom peered out from the front porch of the Moons’ house. The houses in this neighborhood were a little more spread out than the average suburban street, but their house had always been the closest to yours.
You could have sworn you saw a dusting of pink on your friend’s cheekbones. “I’m not hogging her,” he groaned. He turned back to you, throwing a thumb in the direction of his house. “I’ll see you guys over at ours in a few then?”
You gave a nod. “For sure. My mom and I marinated a couple things for tonight this morning, so we’ll be bringing those over.”
“Sweet,” he grinned, already backpedaling toward his house. “See ya, Yn!”
“Bye, Kevin,” you chuckled and bounded up toward your house.
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Once everyone in your household had settled in for the most part, your dad corralled your siblings over to the Moon house, while you and your mom brought over your family’s offerings of tonight’s dinner. Instead of entering through their front door, you simply bypassed the invisible property line between your houses and found Kevin and his dad firing up the barbeque on the back lawn.
Kevin looked up from the box of aluminum foil in his hands and dropped it onto the table. "Oh, auntie! Let me get that for you," he said, meeting you in the middle and taking the tray out of your mom's hands.
"Thank you," she said to him. "How has school been, Kevin? Remind me again—you're a…?"
"Photography major," he replied. The three of you swept past Kevin's dad on your way up to the Moons' house.
"Ah, how's that going for you?"
"It's going well—" Your mom slid the screen door open and you all deposited your shoes to the side before entering the kitchen. "—I should be able to graduate two quarters early, which is nice."
Your mom nodded her head. "That's good, that's good. Katherine, it's nice to see you again!"
As your mom shuffled over to the sink where Kevin's mom was washing a colander of cabbage, you and Kevin set the trays down on the kitchen island.
You heard Kevin's gasp of delight when he lifted the foil off his. "No way. I love your mom's short ribs so much," he said, tipping his head back with his eyes closed.
You laughed at his reaction. "Me, too dude. It's never the same when I try to recreate it at school."
"Oh, for sure," he agreed. He cocked his head to the side, a frown coming into his face. "These should probably go back out to the grill then, huh."
You considered the two trays of meat before you. "You're right."
You both covered the trays back over and began to make your way back out to the lawn.
"Has Connor showed you his helicopter yet?" You asked Kevin while you slid your shoes back on.
The screen door slid shut behind him with his other arm carrying his tray. "He did." Kevin brightened, "It's cool. That kid should go into aviation or engineering."
"That's what I'm thinking," you said. "Though, he's not the greatest at math, but I guess he still has a long way to go before he even needs to consider all that."
He nodded, sighing. "That's true. The twins have a long way to go. Crazy how far we've gotten, y'know?"
You both dropped the marinated meat trays over by Kevin's dad, only to greet your dad on the way down to help out. You were sure that you and Kevin were needed up at the house anyway; your dad had mentioned something about having Connor and Alice start on the batch of kimchi. You hoped he had set up some newspaper this time to avoid a mess.
"My sister says your porch swing broke last year," Kevin said as he followed you back into the kitchen.
"Oh yeah!" You snorted. "Pro tip: don't try to fit two families on that thing. Not a good idea."
The moms directed you both over to the fruits and vegetables on the counter that still needed to be prepped, and you picked up a knife, and Kevin a peeler.
Kevin's brows knitted together as he tossed and caught an asian pear with one hand. "You guys tried to fit both families on that thing? It could barely handle two people the last time I remember."
"Hey, in our defense," you started, already giggling at the memory, "we wanted a cool picture, but then we ended up almost putting a hole through our porch. Lesson learned."
"Lesson learned, indeed." He shook his head as he shucked the pretty ring of golden peel he'd gotten from the pear into the paper bag beside him. "Is it fixed now?"
"Should be," you said. You used the blade of your knife to help coax the peel of the red onion off, then diligently began to take the rest off. "We need a maximum occupancy sign to go with it."
He laughed. "Something like 'less than four people' or something?"
"I think it can handle four people!"
His eyebrows arched high. "You wanna test that theory?"
You glanced up from your diced onions for just a second to meet his gaze. "Uhm no. But you are definitely welcome to."
"Oh, no, no! I'm not getting looped into this solo again like you did with the tire swing that one year."
"Okay, that time wasn't my fault! You said that you bet we could ride it together without breaking the tree branch, and I said—"
Your thought train cut off when the doorbell rang. Both yours and Kevin's heads perked up at the sound and darted in the direction like a pair of meerkats. Even from this room, you could hear the front door being opened and the commotion firing up. There was only one family left to join the party, and you knew exactly who had come to make his presence known.
In minimal time, a lanky man with dark brown bangs and a magazine-cover-worthy face barged into the kitchen with his hands raised, full of grocery bags, and a child riding in a carrier on his chest. "Hello, everyone! Your favorite, most handsome uncle has arrived."
"Hi, Uncle Jin," both you and Kevin chorused, as Kevin's mom took the grocery bags from him with thanks. Your mom must have been the one who opened the door since she had gone into the other room to monitor the twins and their kimchi.
"Hello, children—wow," Kim Seokjin said as he made eyes at Kevin's arms, giving them a little squish. "Close the gyms, everyone. What have they been feeding you at college?"
Kevin's face reddened. "It's nothing, really."
"Nothing?" Seokjin made eye contact with you. "You're seeing this, too, right?"
You swallowed your laugh, but you couldn't suppress your smile. "I'm seeing it, too," you confirmed. You set your knife down and gently ran your finger over baby Leena's head; you wondered how she was still asleep with how loud her father's voice was. "Awh, she's adorable."
Your uncle by association put his hands on his hips. "Fatherhood is great, but let me tell you," he said with flair, "after two kids, I don't want anymore. I think I've seen enough dirty diapers for you both combined."
Kevin laughed. "I'm sure Yuna-noona's on the same page."
"Yes, your cousin and I are definitely on the same page," Jin confirmed while clasping a hand on Kevin's shoulder. His eyes widened, and he gave the muscle beneath his fingers a squeeze. "Jesus—"
"Jin! Do you know where the bag with the formula is?" That was Yuna, Kevin's cousin, calling from the next room over. Soon, her head poked in through the doorway, and her mouth curved into a delighted smile at the sight of familiar faces. "Oh, hi everyone!"
"I think it's in the red colored bag, babe," Jin said as he turned away from you and Kevin and waddled over to where his wife was.
"That's what I thought, too, but I can't find it."
With the young couple now off in search of their bag of baby formula, you and Kevin were again left to yourselves with the fruits and vegetables.
You scooped the diced onions up with one hand and the blade of your knife into an empty bowl for later. "Well, that was…"
"Quite an entrance?" Kevin finished. You could still see the rosiness in his cheeks. "Yup."
"You can always count on Uncle Jin to liven up a place."
"Oh, definitely." Kevin picked up another pear to peel; they would probably either be sliced up for the kids to eat or maybe used to make a dessert later. Something of the sort, at least. "Now where were we?"
You raised your brows as you picked up a carrot. "I think we were talking about how you broke the tire swing in seventh grade."
The evening progressed swiftly with everyone's combined efforts in throwing dinner together. By the time the sun was about to make its descent into the horizon, all three families were moved out onto the back lawn with chairs set up and meats cooking on the grill. There was something beautiful about the lake at this hour—then again, there was always something beautiful about the lake. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but even the way the mosquitoes danced in the waning sunlight made your chest feel warm and fuzzy.
If you strained your vision a little, you could even make out the shapes of people on the opposite shoreline beginning to light campfires of their own. Most of the people who lived around the perimeter of the lake sublet their properties during the non-vacation seasons like your family, the Moons, and the Kims. Then, when the time came, they would return to their lakehouse hideaways for much needed rejuvenation.
As golden hour painted the landscape glorious shades of auburn and butter, you caught your mother making her way toward you out of the corner of your eye.
“Yn-ah,” she said to you with a plate of the fruit that you and Kevin had cut earlier in her hands. She gestured for you to take it from her, then nodded up over to the house on the other side of the Moons’ place. “Take the twins and go welcome our new guests.”
You furrowed your brows. “New guests?” When you followed her gaze, you saw that the house next door had acquired a new car in its driveway. You definitely didn’t recognize it, but you managed to spot what looked like someone disappearing in the front door of the house.
“They’re one of the new families, I think,” she told you. She then gave you a little nudge, urging, “Go. We’re still working on dinner anyways.”
You glanced between the plate of fruit in your possession, then searched the back lawn for the hellspawn. When you located their whereabouts (skipping through a pair of hula hoops over by the big oak tree), you marched over to them to repeat your mother’s instructions.
“Oi!” You called out.
Alice looked over at you as she stopped her skipping. “I don’t want fruit,” she said when she saw what you were holding.
You stopped just short of Connor’s hula hoop circumference. “It’s not for you. Mama wants us to go say hi to the new neighbors. Come on.”
“Do we have to?”
“If I do, then yes. And Mama said so.” Plus, you were not planning to go alone upon any circumstance. Your social anxiety could not take showing up at a stranger’s doorstep alone and with fruit.
The twins dropped their hula hoops and begrudgingly trudged after you. No child could trump the “Mom said so” card. At least, not in this household.
With your siblings following after you like two ducklings to a Mother Goose, Kevin saw the line of you walking past from where he was stationed beside his dad. His eyes zipped from you, the kids, and the plate of fruit, then cocked his head to the side in bemused inquiry.
You inclined your head toward the house you aimed for in the distance and lifted the plate of fruit as if that was enough explanation.
He gave a grave nod for your sake, teasing of course, then held up his free hand in a thumb’s up for encouragement.
Nonetheless, you and your siblings carried on.
The lakehouse on the Moons’ other side was similar to all the others around the lake: dark wood walls, doors encased in a protective screen door, grass and flowers growing out of the cracks where the house met the earth. You could feel your siblings converge on you, nearly hiding behind you, as you all approached the front door. It wasn’t that the house looked scary in any way—it was just the prospect of new people that was the scary part. You were sure this family was just as friendly as everyone else, but it didn’t hurt to be a little nervous.
When the three of you reached the front door, you raised your hand to ring the doorbell.
You could hear the echo of the bell inside the house, followed swiftly by a man’s voice, “I’ll get it!”
Footsteps drawing closer… then the locks came undone, and finally, the main door inside the screen swung open.
“Hi,” greeted the young man on the other side.
You paused when his face became clearer after opening the screen door. He was, to put it bluntly, awfully pretty. Dark hair swept back out of his face and behind his ear, a prince’s facial features, and a smile that was as beautiful as the golden hour greeted you and your siblings. Even his voice was soft.
Alice held onto the side of your shorts pocket. “You're pretty.”
The man made an expression of humble surprise, and heat rose to your neck. “Sorry,” you stammered. “We’re from a couple doors down and we wanted to welcome you to the lake. These are for you and your family.” You managed to pass the plate over to him without being any more embarrassing.
He accepted the offering graciously. “Oh, wow. Thank you so much! That’s so thoughtful.”
You placed your hands on either of your siblings’ backs to push them forward slightly. “I’m Yn, and these are my little siblings, Alice and Connor.”
Your siblings chimed in their hellos to the pretty man.
His eyes narrowed in upturned crescent moons, smile widening. “Well it’s really nice to meet you guys. I’m Joshua, but my friends call me Josh or Shua.”
EPISODE THREE: MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN…
IT turned out that your mother had an ulterior motive for sending you and your siblings to greet the newcomers. She had popped up behind you soon after Joshua had introduced himself to invite him and his family to have dinner with you. You could sniff out the conspiracy from a mile away, but you still wanted to give your mom the benefit of the doubt.
When the first night passed without anything happening, though, you slowly let your guard down. (Rookie mistake.)
Everyone crashed into bed after cleaning up dinner. The move up to the lake was a tiring one, and the promise of an early start the next morning proved to be more than enough encouragement to hit the hay.
You were on the living room couch with Alice sitting on the floor between your legs the next day. It was late morning by this time, and you and your siblings had just woken up less than an hour ago. Your dad was still asleep, and your mom? Well, you weren’t really sure where he was.
“Ow, can you stop tugging?” Alice whined under her breath, her hand rocketing up to the back of her head to stop your hands.
You paused your movement for the third time in the past fifteen minutes. “It wouldn’t hurt this bad if you would just let me run a comb through it.”
“The brush works fine if you use it correctly!”
You exhaled sharply and pressed your lips together. There was never any rest between your two little siblings, whether it was amongst themselves or against you. You supposed you could just suck it up for the time being; it wasn’t often that you got to braid your little sister’s hair. She usually just liked to leave it down.
You heard the backdoor open and shut behind you, and the both of you turned your heads to see who it was. Your mom entered the house with perspiration gleaming on her face as she took off her sun hat and tossed it onto one of the dining room chairs.
“Hi Mama,” the two of you said, one after the other.
Your mom settled onto the couch cushion next to you. “Hi girls. Is your brother and dad up yet?”
“Connor’s with Uncle Jin and Aunt Yuna,” said Alice. “Daddy’s still asleep though.”
“Mm,” she hummed. She combed her fingers through her sweat-soaked hair. “It’s a warm morning out,” she murmured, then quickly added, “hey you.” She knocked her hand against your arm.
“Hm?” You asked as you finished up Alice’s braid and tied it off with the blue Cinnamoroll hair tie she’d chosen. You patted her back with your hand. “You’re done.”
Your little sister hopped to her feet. “Thanks!” She dashed away and out of the room—to where, you had no clue. You figured she knew where the food was if she was hungry.
You angled your body to squish your side against the couch cushions and face your mother. “What were you saying?”
“Ah, I was going to talk to you about the Joshua Hong boy.”
Joshua Hong. You didn’t realize you could hear a man’s name so often within twelve hours.
You made a gesture with your hand. “What about the Joshua Hong boy, Mom?”
“Well, isn’t he a handsome one?” She asked you enthusiastically, straightening in her seat. It was alarming how bright her expression became. “I spoke to his mom while Kevin and I were walking just now, and he’s only a few years older than you, you know.”
You heard a metaphorical record scratch. What? There was so much in that one sentence that you needed to unpack. You raised your hands to signal her to pause. “Wait, since when do you and Kevin take walks together?” What could they have been talking about? You knew Kevin was an exceptional conversationalist, but never in your time at the lake had you known of this interaction.
Your mother blinked. “Oh, we started the tradition when you didn’t come up with us that one year.”
“Tradition?” So this happened more than once? You didn’t know why you were so scandalized by this information—it was just Kevin after all. You knew your parents and even your siblings were all fond of him—of course they were. You were arguably even more fond of him, but that wasn’t the point. You hoped she hadn't said anything about you and him as an item at any point of time… you trusted that Kevin could handle that though; that was what the pact was for, after all.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” She arched a brow. “But anyway, yes, so we bumped into Josh’s mom on the last leg around the lake, and she mentioned that he’s majoring in chemistry and planning to go into medicine. You guys might have something in common.”
You pursed your lips. Perhaps the two of you might have something to talk about, but your track was pre-veterinary rather than pre-med. There was probably a middle ground though... Maybe you were just being stubborn.
“Just make friends or something,” she said to you while standing up from the couch. “You need more of those.”
Your eyes shot wide open. “Hello? Mom?” Now that was simply uncalled for.
She chuckled impishly as she walked away and disappeared down the hall, leaving you to yourself. You were lucky neither of the twins were here to hear that burn.
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It wasn’t much longer than a couple hours later that you found yourself on the backyard lawn space setting up the badminton net between two oak trees with Kevin’s assistance. Everyone was outside and awake, and the kids were all seated up on your house’s back porch munching on the watermelon that Yuna cut for them.
You tightened the string on one side of the net. “So he didn't kiss her?” You queried.
Kevin sputtered a laugh, yanking his side to test its integrity. “Yeah,” he said. “Isn’t it so funny? According to multiple sources, Sunwoo and Chanhee barged in at the perfect moment, and frankly—” Kevin raised his arms up in the air and let them fall for effect, “—ruined the moment.”
"Pfft.” You considered that for a moment. An almost kiss ruined by a comedically timed interruption from a guy drunk off liquor and love, and the friend tasked with dumping his ass at home. That was bad luck if you ever heard it. “And what about that other dude? The Hyunjae guy? Did he finally fix his eyesight?”
Your friend leaned back against his oak tree, ankles crossed over the other and arms braided over his chest. A pair of shades rested backwards on his head to complete his summer-worthy ensemble of shorts and T-shirt. “His literal eyesight is still shit, but yeah, he and HJ!Yn are together now. Took for-fucking-ever, but—”
“Language!” Jin yelled like a referee on the sideline of a soccer match. “We have children in the vicinity.”
Kevin brushed a hand through his hair. “Whoopsies, sorry!” He turned back to you. “Anyways, yes, they are finally together. Man, having someone watch my cursing makes it seem like Jacob is here with me.”
You noticed the fond twinkle in his eyes as he stared out at the still waters of the lake just down the way from you both. “You talk about this Jacob guy a lot,” you said to him. “I think I need to meet the person who’s threatening to knock me off the best friend pedestal.”
“He already has,” he jested.
You let out an indignant squawk. “Hurtful!”
Connor, watermelon juice smeared all around his mouth, added rather unnecessarily, “So you don’t want a partner and you don’t have friends. What do you have, Yn?”
You leveled a scowl at him. “An annoying little brother.”
“Hey!”
In a tone dryer than the Sahara Desert, Alice chimed in, “Guess that makes me the favorite twin.”
“I should tell you about Sangyeon. I need to yell about Sangyeon,” Kevin huffed indignantly, snapping his fingers as if the thought just hit him. You whipped your head back over. “Oh my god, dude, you know what happened at the graduation ceremony? It was like, straight out of a scene from a movie—!”
You never got to find out what was just like it was out of a movie, because your mom appeared in the distance with the Hongs. They all came wielding badminton racquets—how convenient. You didn’t mind the extra company, of course, and despite your stubbornness, you knew Joshua and his family were very nice people.
You caught the tail end of your mother’s conversation with Josh and his mom: “...Yn used to play badminton on the high school team. She could’ve gone to the Olympics if she really wanted to—”
Well, that was only partly true. Your team had gone to Nationals, but the Olympics was one step above Worlds. You liked to think you were pretty good at the sport, but you hoped your mom wasn’t talking up you and your abilities too much.
“Oh, wow. I’m a soccer person myself,” said Joshua good-naturedly. “I don’t really know much about badminton, but it seems like a really fun sport.”
"Yn's a great teacher. She taught the twins how to play." Ah, there it was.
When they were within a comfortable distance, you raised your hand in a wave. "Hi hello!"
"Hello Yn," Joshua's mom said back. "Hi Kevin."
Kevin dipped his head with a smile. "Hi Auntie."
"Yn-ah," said your mom as she took you by the arm, dragging you over toward Joshua, "I was just talking to Josh about how good you are at badminton."
Your eyes widened slightly, and you noted the way Joshua's did the same. You made eye contact with Kevin as this happened. He seemed caught at a crossroads, unable to help or say anything. "I guess I'm okay at it."
"Liar," Kevin suddenly jumped in.
You sent him a look. Wait really?
He shrugged sheepishly. "I don't wanna downplay your abilities, dude. You're really good."
Oh. "Thanks, Kev," you said, blinking. Your heart warmed at the finger guns he sent your way. It was nice to know he had your back.
"Good! See? You and Josh should play doubles together." Your mother somehow got a racquet into your hand. She clapped her hands and ushered her two other children off their butts. "Come on, you two, you can be on Kevin's team."
"But that's not what doubles means, Mama—"
Joshua sidled up beside you with an apology in his smile. "Sorry, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I don't want you to be forced to teach me or anything."
Guilt wormed itself into your stomach. "No, no! It's totally okay," you amended swiftly. "This all just happened really quickly, but I'd be so down to teach you badminton, if you'd like."
He bobbed his head up and down, patting the netting of his racquet. "Okay, yeah. That'd be really cool actually."
You nodded, returning his expression. "Cool."
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You and Joshua had somehow taken over the makeshift badminton court. The twins had gotten tired of the "big kids" playing too hard, and Kevin… actually, you didn't know why Kevin put down his racquet. But at some point, you noticed that he was just hanging out in a chair, sipping some kind of fruit juice as he observed you and Joshua. (That was what you assumed he was doing. There was a book propped open in his lap, but you hadn't seen him turn a page in a while. And he had put his sunglasses on, so you couldn't exactly see what his eyes were doing.)
You tracked the birdie as it flew over the net to your side. "Nice!" You praised, taking a few steps in the diagonal to hit the birdie back over with an easy backhand flick.
Joshua stumbled forward, but hit it back over. "Shoot," he said, barely catching himself before he crashed into the netting.
You chuckled, "Careful." You backed up and gave the birdie a gentle bump.
It sailed over the net, but it landed too close to it for Joshua to get a clean shot back over. He sighed as he bent down to pick the projectile up from the grass. "Dang. Nice hit, Yn."
Content with your shot as well, you walked over to the net to meet him. "Thanks, man."
"Hyungseo-ah!"
You watched as Kevin stood up from his chair at his mom's call. "Yeah, what's up?"
As she strolled over to him, she was reapplying sunscreen onto her arms and face. "We have more new neighbors. Since you're not doing anything, you should come and welcome them with me. There’s someone I think you should meet."
You and Kevin locked gazes for a second before he turned back to his mom. You didn't know why you kept looking at each other—this all felt like déjà vu, but maybe it was the fact that it seemed like your moms were separating you both instead of bringing you together that was throwing you off.
"Uhm, sure, Mom." He dropped his book into his seat and followed after his mom.
Your gaze trailed after him for a moment before you snapped back to reality. You swiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. "Sorry, where were we?"
Just then, Seokjin made his way down the lakeshore with baby Leena strapped to his chest again. He threw up an arm in greeting. "Hey, kids. You guys still at it?"
"Yup," you said back. "He's getting good at it!"
Joshua laughed lightly. "Ah, you flatter me. It's just 'cause Yn's a good teacher."
Seokjin's eyes flickered between the two of you. "Huh. I'm sure she is."
"Anyways," you coughed. "Did you just come from the new neighbor's house or something?" He hadn't arrived from the direction of his own house, which was on the other side of yours.
Your uncle by association gave his affirmative, one hand pressed gently on the back of his baby in his holster. "Of course! You know I'm too nosy to not have gone to introduce myself and see what's up. The couple has a girl around your age, Yn-ie. Their son is off in Paris for his job or something though."
The two men could probably see the gears in your brain turning. Another person who was around yours and Kevin's age? You really didn't want to read too much into it, but—you pushed the thought to the side. It probably wasn't what you were thinking, right?
"Uh, you good, Yn?" Joshua asked.
Your eyes shuttered. "Yeah. I was just thinking about something." You gestured with your racquet in a flourish. "How about another round?"
EPISODE FOUR: THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS DEAL™
THE crickets were particularly melodious tonight. Their chirrups became lovely background music as you perched on the stairs of your back porch beneath the warm glow of the outside light. Moths swarmed the bulb, casting little shadow puppets along the wooden deck.
You were hunched over one of the few books you brought along with you for the trip. Your siblings liked to tease you for bringing “school work” on a summer trip, but these had been purchased out of your own interest. It was an anthology of experiences related to animal behavior. The certain piece that had originally caught your eye had been about the Alaskan husky’s primal nature to run, and their participation in dog sled racing. You’d come across it originally in a magazine on an airplane, finding yourself enthralled in a story of the stamina, determination, and hard work that these dogs faced in the brutal Alaskan winters.
When your plane landed, you had gone online and found more stories like them. Thus, the book in your lap and money down the drain. (Though, you would argue that it was money well-spent.)
“Warm night out.”
You startled, heart galloping in your chest, as Kevin appeared in your periphery and stepped into the light.
To his credit, he took on a sheepish sort of grin. “Oops, sorry. Probably should have given a warning or something.”
You pressed a hand to your palpitating heart and scooted over to give him room to sit on the step next to you. “No, it’s all good. I don’t think there was really any way that you could have warned me.” You were probably way too deep into your book to have even noticed if he was any quieter.
He took a seat beside you, posture mimicking yours with his forearms pressed onto his knees. “You’re right,” he murmured. “Whatcha reading?” He asked while inclining his chin toward the pages in your lap.
“Oh.” You kept a couple fingers wedged between the pages you were on as you flipped to the cover to show him. “It’s just this, uhm, collection of stories on animal behavior. Real fascinating stuff, actually, and a lot of it is kind of inspirational.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, unsure of why you were always shy about telling people about something you were passionate about. You shouldn’t have thought so little of Kevin Moon, though. He never gave you any worries about being judged.
“Oh, that sounds neat,” he said, scooting closer. “Is it for your major? You’re still doing wildlife biology, right—or is it ecology?”
“Wildlife biology,” you confirmed. “It’s not for my major or anything, no. Just something I was interested in.”
A thought suddenly occurred to you and you were rewinding all of the things that had happened in the past couple of days. Before Kevin could comment further on the topic of majors, you piped up, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
His eyes widened a smidge, his posture straightening. “Oh? What about?”
You felt around the porch deck for the receipt you had been using as a makeshift bookmark, hand flopping around before you snatched it up and slipped it into the pages of your book. You set the book aside. “Is it just me, or are our moms… you know…”
“Doing the Thing again?” He finished. He sighed with a little grimace, “Yeah, I think I’m seeing it.”
The “Thing” that both you and Kevin were referring to was none other than the very act of matronly matchmaking taking place between you and the new kids on the block. At least you could confirm that you weren’t overthinking it.
You recalled the events of earlier today when Kevin and his mom had come back to where everyone else was with the new family that had just arrived. The Xus were another party of just three—their oldest son was in Paris, as Seokjin reported, but their youngest, Serena, was yours and Kevin's age. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who Kevin's mom wanted to introduce her son to.
“You know what’s crazy?” You said to him then, “On the car ride up here, I asked my mom—like, point-blank, you know?—to not try to matchmake us anymore.”
Kevin perked up. “Dude. That’s crazy, because that’s what I asked my mom on the car ride up here.”
You sputtered, “You’re kidding.”
“Great minds think alike,” he said, lip curling upward into a smile and his arms coming up in a halfhearted shrug. “But I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.”
Now that you were thinking back to your own conversation, you should have known something fishy was going on when your mom mentioned Kevin specifically… You only thought that she was being thorough in her understanding of what you were asking her to do, but turned out, it was only a loophole. “You’re so right,” you groaned and tilted your head backward. “Literally what are we gonna do?”
The two of you stewed in silence on this fine night.
There was one night, similar to this one, where you had sought each other out. You couldn’t remember what year it was—something close to sixth grade when both of you had the mind to realize the game your moms were trying to play. From that night came a pact of sorts, one that would hopefully try to steer each other away from a fate that neither of you were sure that you wanted yet. After all, eleven years old was a little premature to be talking about who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, right?
Kevin leaned back onto his palms. “We need to make a new pact, I think.”
Your head swiveled over to him. “Amendments to the pact?”
“Either amend it or come up with a new one to fit our current situation,” he said. “A rescue protocol.”
A rescue protocol… you could see it begin to take shape in your head. The previous pact was different—an agreement between you and Kevin that you were both simply friends, no matter how many times your moms made you do chores together, or tie each other’s shoelaces, or swap numbers and emails and social media. And it had worked, for the most part; you were both still friends after all these years.
But this time would have to be different. Your moms weren’t driving you toward each other anymore.
“The Rescue Protocol—is that what we’re calling it?” You mused in an attempt to bring mirth to the conversation.
Kevin made a sound like a laugh. “Better than ‘the pact,’ I like to think.”
“How about the ‘Damsel in Distress Deal?’”
He let out an actual laugh this time. You got to watch his eyes turn up into crescent moons, the corners crinkling with pretty smile lines. His smile was always contagious, even after all this time. “The ‘Damsel in Distress Deal?’” He parroted. When he allowed the phrase to soak into his brain for a second, tongue massaging his bottom lip, he relented. “Okay, that’s actually not bad.”
You giggled. “So we either call it the Rescue Protocol or the Damsel in Distress Deal, trademark.”
“Trademark?” His reaction sent you into a flurry of snickers, hand clamped over your mouth so the sounds wouldn’t wake up your family. “What? Are we gonna advertise this idea to people?” He chuckled.
“It’s a good idea!”
“We don’t even know what the parameters are yet,” he sputtered. Kevin lightly punched your upper arm. “Silly goose.”
“Geese are not silly,” you found yourself replying. They could be mean creatures. “But I think they’re cute.”
“Jacob thinks they’re scary.”
You gave a playful roll of your eyes. “This Jacob guy again?” After a moment, you sighed, toeing the dirt on the bottom step with the tip of your shoe. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”
Kevin sobered a little, but the remnants of his merriment remained in the shine of his irises. “Shoot.”
“Are you…” You struggled to string the words together. There was a question you’d come up with already, but you didn’t know if it was too forward or not. “Are you ready for a relationship?”
The question caught him off guard. His gaze flickered from you, to the grass, to his lap, to the moon-soaked surface of the lake further down the hill. “I… I’m not sure, really,” he muttered, then added, “I think I would know the right person when I meet them.”
“Yeah,” you agreed.
“Or maybe not,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ve already met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but the relationship just hasn’t gotten there yet.”
You pondered on that for a moment, then realized you agreed with that, too. If you already met the person you were meant to be with, the thought of a relationship was a little less daunting. You already knew this person. “So we’re in agreement then? This new pact is something we both want?”
“As usual, we are in agreement,” he nodded. “What’s our plan then? Fight fire with fire?”
You snorted. “Pretty much, right? We just have to, you know, swoop in whenever we can to counteract their movements. Help each other out, y’know?” You laughed at how ridiculous this all sounded. “I guess it’s really just doing what they’ve wanted us to do this whole time.”
Kevin grinned to himself. “Spend time together?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m down for that. You?”
“Yeah, man.” You shifted to angle your body toward him and stuck your hand out. “You still remember it, right?”
Kevin sent you an incredulous look, as if offended that you could think so lowly of him. He reflected your angled body, hand primed and ready. “Uh, yeah. Do you remember it?”
You clicked your tongue. “Of course, I do! It's the seal."
You knocked the back of your hand against his to signal the beginning of the handshake.
Like second nature, the two of you made your way through the unnecessarily (but also completely necessary) convoluted masterpiece that was your sixth grade handshake. It was what you used the first time you sealed the deal on the pact, and whenever you made any other agreements of significance (e.g. the Juice Pouch Accord of Eighth Grade). Now, it would seal the Rescue Protocol/Damsel in Distress Deal, too.
When the handshake combination finished (marked by twin flicks to the forehead—"Ow! You always flick so hard.”; “Yikes, hope that doesn’t leave a mark…”—and a… proper handshake), the only thing left to do was put it into motion.
Teasing, you sent him a look of approval. “You did remember.”
“Funny how you say that as if you have the better memory out of the two of us,” he quipped back with an unimpressed look.
You hummed your own amusement back to him, taking the book that you’d set aside earlier back into your lap but leaving it unopened. There wasn’t any signal in this area, so devices were practically useless, so books and board games and sports became the go-to for entertainment. It was what your parents originally liked so much about the place, and eventually you and your siblings. It allowed for moments between the moments like this… whatever this was.
Kevin leaned back onto his palms again, and the shadows and moonlight cut across his jawline like glass. “I didn’t think you’d be up so late.”
“Yeah,” you drawled and picked at a strand of grass sticking out between the boards of a stair step. “I couldn’t sleep for some reason and decided to read, but then I opened my window and realized it was a nice night out, so here I am.” You nodded to him, “You?”
He gave a soft sort of chuckle. “You know I never sleep.”
Your chest felt heavy all of a sudden. “Still have the sleeping issue?” You asked softly. It had been a big thing when he was a kid. It had started off as being a very light sleeper, but over time, you discovered that sometimes Kevin just did not get sleep.
“Yeah…” he said, "I'm usually able to sleep when I'm here though, y'know? The peace, the quiet, the familiarity—it all helps. It was just tonight that was out of the ordinary." When he glanced over at you, the side of his lip quirked upward. "Don't worry too much."
You'd always thought about the lake as your home away from home, your safe space. A part of you had always thought it was the same way for him.
“How could I not worry?" You asked, poorly masking your concern as you leaned over your knees and looked at him. “How did you ever get used to your place at uni?” There must have been some reason that he was able to survive over there.
The corners of his mouth curled upward into a smile. “I was lucky,” he admitted. “I met people who have become some of my best friends and family. I guess it’s just weird being so far away from them and it's catching up to me.”
As much teasing as you did about this Jacob character, you were glad Kevin had found him and his other friends. Being away from home like that could not have been easy. At least you could rest assured that he was taken care of over there.
He had grown so comfortable over there that even his subconscious missed them.
You shifted a little closer to him and gently leaned your head onto his shoulder. He seemed surprised at first, but relaxed and let you keep your head there. “That’s good,” you whispered. “I’m happy for you.”
A beat passed, and the crazy thought occurred to you that maybe you should have asked to do this first. “Is this okay?”
His hand warmed the top of your head. “More than okay.”
The two of you sat there like that for however long—you couldn’t really tell. Time passed by differently here, it seemed. Friends definitely comforted each other like this though, right? Right.
EPISODE FIVE: [SHENANIGANS ENSUE.]
"KEVIN, would you mind giving this snack pack to Serena?"
"Oh, I got it, Auntie!" You snatched the Ziploc bag of trail mix from off the counter where Kevin's mom had set it out. "I haven't properly introduced myself to her yet," you said as some kind of explanation.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kevin look away to conceal his laugh at your inconspicuousness.
Today, the five families planned to go on a long nature hike as a large group. There was a specific path that your family, the Moons, and the Kims always took at least once every year that led out to a waterfall. It was a beautiful slice of nature, but then again, you thought this entire area was beautiful.
You swung out of the Moons' kitchen and out onto the back lawn where everyone was slowly gathering to take off. Eyes scanning the immediate area, you located Serena Xu standing off to the side plaiting her hair into a simple braid over her shoulder.
As you made your way over to her, your Uncle Jin suddenly appeared beside you. “You look like a woman on a mission, Yn-ie. What’s the sitch?”
Your brain took a second to register the reference. “Has Sana been watching Kim Possible or have you, Uncle?”
“And if I said it was both of us?” He sniffed. Sana was his eldest daughter, only three years old, but Jin and Yuna were very updated in the essential kids shows they wanted their daughters to watch.
“As you should,” you said with an indulgent nod. You turned your gaze over to your intended target.
Serena’s eyes wandered up from her hair and met your eyes, then glanced over at Jin. You hoped she didn’t think the two of you were ganging up on her or anything. Two new people at once could be intimidating.
“Hi, Serena, right?” You asked as you and Jin approached her.
She gave a small nod, pulling her braid’s end over her shoulder as she fidgeted with it. “Uh, yeah. And you’re Yn?”
“We already met yesterday,” Jin said chipperly.
Serena nodded again.
Your fingers danced along the edge of the Ziploc baggie in your hands, squeezing along the edge to make sure that it was closed properly. Your teeth ran over your bottom lip before you were passing her the bag in your hands. “Kevin’s mom made all of us snack bags, and I just wanted to say a proper hello.”
She accepted the bag, eyes wide as she inspected its contents through the clear plastic. “Oh, wow. Thank you; that’s really thoughtful.”
“Oh!” Seokjin illuminated like a lightbulb, clapping his hands loud enough to make both you and Serena wince. (You and she met each other’s eyes with awkward laughs.) “Didn’t you mention yesterday that you were pre-law?”
Your eyebrows flew upward. “Pre-law?” Your head bobbed up and down with a low whistle. “That’s cool.”
“Yeah, uh, I guess so,” she said. “It’s a little intimidating right now, if I’m being honest.”
“Yn!” Ripped out of the conversation, you excused yourself and found the source of your name. Your mom was perched on one of the picnic benches outside of the Moons’ place, slathering sunscreen on your brother’s face. Connor’s face was wrinkled in extreme displeasure as she patted the white cream into his skin with a slapping sound.
Always amusing.
Perched upon the picnic table next to them was none other than Joshua Hong. He sent you a friendly greeting wave.
“What’s up?” You asked, leaving Uncle Jin with Serena so you could make your way over to your chagrined little brother, your mom, and Joshua. “Where’s Dad and Alice? Hey Josh.”
He replied pleasantly, “Hey Yn.”
“Your dad’s grabbing something from the car with her,” she dismissed. “Would you mind showing Joshua where we put our bandages? We have so many of the little ones—”
“It’s just a little cut; I swear I’m fine!” Joshua chuckled good-naturedly. He showed you the slice in the side of his finger that was only a couple of centimeters long, but you could tell that he’d just recently cleaned it up and was holding it with a small piece of napkin.
Your mom made a noise of disagreement. “It’s going to get infected on the hike.”
You shuffled on your feet, offering him a small smile. “Sorry, man. I have to agree with her.”
“Thank you. You remember where the bandages are, right? You and Josh just go run up really quick together.”
You didn’t even realize when Kevin got here. “Oh, why don’t I just get one from my place for you?” Kevin waltzed into the conversation with an innocent expression, hands tucked into the pockets of his shorts, as he appeared at your side. “Since we’re just right here.”
Joshua gestured toward him with his hand-clutching-hand situation and hopped off from the picnic table top. “If you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, dude, it’s no problem.” Kevin’s hand met the place between your shoulders with a warm pat, and he led Joshua up to his family’s cabin for the bandages.
Your amusement followed after them as you watched them leave. Your mom sent you a curious look, eyes narrowed in question, and you could only shrug helplessly.
The hike commenced shortly after the boys got back from raiding the Moon’s medicine cabinet. Your dad and Alice returned sometime before they did, and Alice had once again requested you put her hair up in, as she said, “Something nice.” As if the wilderness would care about her nice hair-do, but you gave her a plait that matched Serena’s.
Your brother and sister kept near to you as you led the group through the beginning of the trail. Though you didn’t consider yourself as someone who exercised religiously, you never turned down a good foraging session. Your freshman environmental science course had presented you with plenty of opportunity to dive into the dense forest areas near the building. Even in the early reaches of the morning (8:30 morning labs were sometimes difficult to be disciplined about, but you were determined), when the fog clung to the forest floor and dew slipped down velvety oak leaves, you found yourself at peace.
At some point in time, Connor picked up a large fallen stick and used it as a hiking staff. “You shall not pass!” He declared after running a little ways ahead of you and mimicked the deepness of Gandolf’s voice.
You snorted as you passed by him and ruffled his hair. “Name the series that’s from and then we can talk, dude.”
“You’re never any fun!” Connor garbled, jogging after you.
You scoffed, pressing a hand against your chest in feigned offense. “I’m way more fun than you are,” you retorted.
“Okay, prove it! Make this more fun.”
“So you’re saying this hike isn’t fun?” You gasped.
Connor stabbed at the dirt path warn into the ground that weaved through the trees ahead for miles. It was by no means a challenging hike, just a lengthy one that required a bit of enthusiasm and endurance. “Well last time, you brought that thing—”
“Sugar water,” you supplied.
“—yeah, that one—and we caught butterflies!” Painted Lady butterflies were a common species of butterfly that was widespread among North America. Luckily, it hadn't been too difficult to find them.
“Woah, you guys caught butterflies last year? Without me?” Man, this guy was just everywhere today, you thought jokingly, as Kevin appeared on your other side with a boyish grin on his face. “That’s cool.”
“We didn’t catch them,” you corrected. It was more so a lure with the sugar water (a substitute for nectar), letting the kids see the insect up close, and then setting it free. You were no lepidopterologist—butterflies were cool, but no special interest of yours. “They just landed in my hand for a little. You should’ve been there to take pictures.”
Kevin hit the palm of hand against his forehead. “That’s what I forgot! I forgot to bring my camera on the hike.”
“Tsk tsk, what would your sister say now?” You chided playfully.
He pressed his lips together in a grimace. “Don’t bring her up—I can hear the echo of her voice as we speak.” To prove his point, he pressed his fingers to his temples, eyes fluttering closed, as if he really could hear his sister’s teasing from wherever she was.
You humored him with a laugh—
“Yn! I’m gonna climb that boulder!”
Okay, fun time was over. You tracked the sound of your brother’s voice, and with barely enough time to catch up to him, you set off the beaten path to follow. “Hey, you better be careful or Mom’s gonna put you on bedrest for the rest of the trip,” you chuckled as Kevin fell in step beside you. You said to him offhandedly, “Would you possibly mind…”
“Yeah, I got it.” He did a small jog over to the cluster of boulders your brother had begun to scale. Going bouldering wasn’t a new activity for you and your siblings, but you remembered that these ones were a little larger than your mom was usually comfortable with. You were grateful Kevin understood immediately.
He was already standing below where Connor was, playing along with whatever roleplay your brother had made up, all the while hovering in case he fell.
The rest of the party caught up to you at this point, and Alice, Uncle Jin, Sana, and even Josh converged upon the rock formation in a flurry of giggles and mirthful playtime. You observed the action with ill-concealed fondness for everyone there as they came together and helped one another climb to the topmost boulder as if it were the peak of Mount Everest. Something warmed within you at the sight.
On your left, Yuna, who was on Leena duty this morning, came to stand beside you. Some of the parents were pulling out cell phones to record all the chaos going on. “Why don’t you go up with them?” She asked, inclining her head to the rock formation.
Josh was just beckoning Kevin up with him, and you saw Kevin’s head turned back over his shoulder. When his eyes found yours, Kevin waved you over, too.
“I should,” you murmured in agreement.
Yuna hummed as she adjusted the little bonnet on Leena’s head. “You know, Kevin…” she began. You waited for her to finish, but she smiled instead, shaking her head. “Nevermind. Go have fun, you bean.”
You giggled at the nickname, then wasted little time going to join everyone else. You could probably ask her what she was going to say later.
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The evening found the group of you gathered on the shady back lawn between yours and the Moons’ cabin for dinner once again. The Xus and Hongs had all retired to their own respective houses for downtime, so it would just be the three original families. You perched a little ways away on the back stairs of your house’s porch, a bowl of peelable tangerines in your lap. At your feet, you had rolled the edges of a brown paper bag you’d found beneath the sink to use as a disposal. All of the compostable waste you and everyone else produced while here would become great fertilizer and mulch. It was something you usually had your siblings help with, especially before you left the lake.
Kevin had his cap turned backwards as he made his way over to you in flip flops. “That seat taken?” He asked with a nod toward the board next to you.
Your eyebrows rose. “All yours.”
“Thanks,” he beamed, doing a silly waddle, then sitting down next to you. He reached into the bowl on your lap for an orange, and you moved the compost bag between your bodies. “Your mom was talking about Josh again,” he said as he dug his thumb into the skin of the tangerine. Its juices sprayed into the air and released its sweet fragrance.
“Why am I not surprised?” You sighed with a shake of his head. “You know, he’s really good with my siblings though.”
“Oh, is he?”
You shrugged, shoveling a tangerine half into your mouth. “Mm—yeah,” you said once you’d swallowed. “But you’re also good with my siblings. I dunno, it was just an observation.” Based on what you saw on the hike, you could confidently conclude that your siblings agreed with both Kevin and Josh. They were both friendly beyond means, easy on the eyes, kind on the soul.
Kevin didn’t say anything for a beat, and still didn’t say anything until he’d finished the orange in his hands and picked up a new one. “I hear he’s going into medicine. I have a friend who’s going into medicine.”
“Which one?” You asked, then joked, “Don’t tell me it’s Jacob now…”
When Kevin gave you a sheepish expression, you shook your head, “Okay, now I think you’re obsessed with this guy.” All the teasing was in good fun, of course.
“He’s just my soulmate,” he lamented with a hand draped over his forehead for added effect. “No biggie.”
“Damn,” you laughed. You popped a wedge of tangerine into your mouth, eyes going to the sky for a moment as you pondered on something. “So you say that when Jacob met his current girlfriend, it was because of you.”
“Yup.”
“So you set them up? You matchmade them?”
He nodded. “I’m very proud of myself, actually. I take credit for all of their milestones and anniversaries. I better be the Best Man at their wedding, and—”
“But you matchmade them; doesn’t that make you a hypocrite?”
Kevin’s speech came to an abrupt halt. You watched, in blatant amusement, as his face contorted and arranged itself in the five stages of grief. “Oh my god… I am a hypocrite.”
For a moment, you felt bad for laughing at his blanched expression. “It doesn’t make you a bad person,” you assured him.
“It makes me a hypocrite.” He hung his head, but shot back up just as quickly. “Okay, but wait! It’s different.”
“Do tell.”
“It’s different because Jacob never told me he didn’t want to be matchmade.” The calculations taking place in his head were as stark to you, the observer, as if he was working it out on a white board. His eyebrows knitted together. “Yeah. That’s the difference. Plus, that match was fully successful, and he ended up putting in a lot of the work himself by the end anyway.”
You bobbed your head in agreement. “Fair enough.”
Kevin settled his chin on his hand, eyes slicing back over to you. “Aren’t you a hypocrite, too, then?”
You blinked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His face said it all. “Jenna from fifth grade.”
Oh. It all came rushing back to you…
But before anything else could be commented on the matter (read: before you could go through your own miniature existential crisis like Kevin had), a presence appeared, squatting down between the two of you. “What—” Jin covered Leena’s ears as he sat down, “—is the mother-effing tea?”
You and Kevin immediately scooted over to make room for the uncle coming in hot. You moved the compost bag back to the other side of your leg.
Kevin chuckled. “You said ‘mother-effing.’”
“Aish,” he exhaled, wrinkling his nose up. “Yuna’s on relax mode right now and has two beers in her. I get a pass, okay? Now catch me up on all of the exciting stuff.”
You and Kevin traded glances. “What exciting stuff?”
Jin’s expression flattened into a deadpan. “Don’t be like that. You two have been so secretive lately; I wanna be let in on the secret stuff.”
“I don’t know if it’s necessarily a secret…” You drawled.
Kevin scratched the back of his head. “Uh, yeah. Well, we’ve kind of figured out that our moms are trying to set us up with Josh and Serena instead of each other now.”
You didn't know what you were expecting Uncle Jin to reply, but he gave a nod. "Ah, I can see that." He sucked in a breath through his teeth, "Why did they suddenly go 360 on the two of you? It seems kind of out of left field."
"Well, we kind of asked them to stop trying to get us two together."
Jin hummed. "Yah, that makes sense. It all makes sense now." He made an old-man noise out of his throat as he shifted his position and the way that Leena rested on his chest. You and Kevin buckled down and hung off his words. "They probably only mean well, you know that, right? Right. But I can see that you both are still uneasy about that, and I get that, too. So—I'll tell you what.
"I'll help you guys out," he said. "I think they already know I'm nosy enough to butt in everywhere, so it shouldn't be a problem for me to… tch tch, y'know—" He gestured very indulgently with his hands, "—do my thing—am I making any sense? It's been a long day."
Another look passed between you and Kevin, then you both shared a laugh, relief making your postures relax and your grins widen. "No, we understand completely."
It seemed like you just gained an ally.
EPISODE SIX: CAN I BE A ROCK IN MY NEXT LIFE? THANKS.
THERE was a collection of jet skis that someone around the lake owned, and Kevin's parents would rent them out once every summer for everyone to use. Of course, it was mainly for the older kids and adults; thus, your siblings and the little Kims were banned from partaking in the festivities, much to your siblings' chagrin. It was for safety reasons that they were forced to find some other method of entertainment for the day.
You trudged your way down the path from the Kims' house to yours. In your hand, you wielded the light blue stick of baby sunscreen Seokjin asked you to fetch for his girls, but based on the fact that Leena, Sana, nor Yuna were even out here, it was safe to assume it was really for him.
Those who were participating in riding jet skis, and some who just wanted to watch and soak up the summer sun, were gathered somewhere between your house and the Moon house again. The two properties shared a single dock made of wood faded out from the sun and washed by the lake water. You could recall summer after summer running down the pier and cannonballing into the water.
"Hey! I got your sunscreen!" You hollered as you neared the group down by the water, raising the sunscreen stick up in the air.
The five or so heads turned toward you at the sound of your voice. You didn't miss Kevin's presence specifically, his arms sticking out from the life vest strapped to his chest. You did not deign to look further.
Jin raised his hand. "My Savior! Thanks, Yn-ie!"
You tossed the sunscreen down to him and he caught it between both of his hands before beginning to slather the cream all over his face.
You noted the last life vest sitting on the edge of the dock closest to land and made a beeline for it.
Just as you descended the hill, your mom appeared in your view with an empty plate in her hands, the bottom ringed in a translucent red liquid. "Yn, honey. Can you do me a huge favor and chop up the last watermelon? I didn't realize we would need more. Your dad and Kevin's dad are driving into town right now for some extra provisions and an extra large watermelon."
"Oh, sure." Your eyes skittered to the vest on the dock, but you realized slicing the watermelon wouldn't take too long.
You took the plate from your mom without further comment and began making your way up the hill to your house.
As you slid the door open, the sound of chatter carried from the living room floor. Eyes peered up from where they were seated, surrounding the coffee table on the floor. A colorful array of beads and string was strewn over the surface, and you came to a distinct conclusion as to where all the non-jet-skiers had gone.
"Hello everyone," you mused, closing the screen door behind you.
Josh was the first to say hello back. "Wanna join us? We're making friendship bracelets." He lifted the craft in his hands as if the beads and materials displayed weren't proof enough.
You leaned over the back of the couch. "Looks like fun! Maybe I will."
Outside by the lake, Kevin monitored the back door of your cabin for when you would make your way back out. He had been wanting to race you on a jet ski ever since the owners brought them over for everyone to use.
There were a grand total of five people surrounding the opening to the dock: Kevin and his mom, your mom, Jin, and Serena. Everyone except for the moms were strapped in lifejackets in preparation to board one of the two jet skis sitting in port.
"Huh," Jin said as he craned his head up in the direction Kevin's was in. "Wonder what's taking her so long."
"I'm sure she's just taking her time or something." Kevin pushed off of the post he was leaning against. "I'll go check up on her—"
“Oh, no-no-no! It’s okay,” your mom protested, her body already turn-tailed to head up to the house. Even Kevin’s mom made a gesture for him to stay put. “We’ll go check up on Yn.”
Kevin’s mom then gestured with her arm toward Serena, who had wandered off further down the dock to inspect one of the vehicles waiting in the water. “Why don’t you go help her with the jet ski?”
“And me!” Seokjin boisterously slung an arm around his cousin-in-law’s shoulders and swung him toward the entrance of the pier.
Kevin’s eyes went wide when he almost tumbled face-first into the hardwood. “Shit,” he sputtered. “Uh, Uncle Jin?”
“Yep?”
“That sounded fishy to you, too, right?”
Jin let out a laugh and patted Kevin’s shoulder in consolation. “Yep.”
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“I feel like I haven’t seen you all afternoon.” The words left your mouth as you blocked the unforgiving golden hour sun with a hand to your forehead. The light at this time of day gleamed across the surface of the lake and gave the illusion of a molten pot of gold. You imagined swimming in it, dipping your toes into its warm innards from the end of the dock.
Kevin stood at the edge of the lake’s shoreline with his hair dried from a day of jet skiing, a fresh T-shirt over his chest and the lifejacket from earlier nowhere to be seen. That, along with the jet skis. Those had been returned a little over an hour ago. “We were off doing our separate things, I guess,” he said, his arms folded across his chest. “Speaking of, where’ve you been? You went to cut watermelon and never came back.” He added a small laugh to his words, hoping you wouldn’t think he was bothered by the fact that the two of you didn’t get to hang out on jet skis together.
“Oh, heh.” The sheepishness in your voice made him glance over at you. You didn’t know why you were suddenly getting so shy about it, but from the pocket of your shorts, you withdrew a small piece of beaded string, tied at the end in one of those fancy loops that were adjustable. You didn’t know how it was done; Joshua had done something with the end like magic. “Yuna, Josh, and the kids were all inside making friendship bracelets and they kind of roped me into it.”
“Ah.”
“This one’s for you,” you said, holding it out to him. It was a quirky piece with white block letter beads strung together next to acrylic star and pony beads. You’d scavenged a crescent moon somewhere amongst all the pandemonium, and it sat next to the letter N on the chain.
Kevin peered at you and his irises gleamed with the brilliance of golden hour. He frowned in joy, delicately accepting the chain from you with his bottom lip jutted out in a combination frown-pout. “You’re incredible,” he gushed as he inspected the little gift. “Dude, I’m honestly so touched. This is so cute.”
You broke out into a grin, your heart bursting with pride in your chest. “Glad it’s not cringy.”
“I’m offended for you,” he scoffed, aghast. “How could you think this is cringy?” It was probably a genuine question, but you kept silent as you watched him loop the end of the bracelet around his wrist and struggled to figure out how to tie off the end with one hand.
You stepped forward, and he stuck his hand out to you. “Shua showed me how this works,” you murmured, wracking your brain for the quick how-to Joshua showed with his own wrist. (You had been too confused to ask him to see it done again, and only nodded and smiled.)
“Shua?”
“Mm, yeah, apparently he makes a lot of friendship bracelets, especially for friends at school.” Your tongue stuck out of the corner of your mouth as you tried something and… “Ta-da!”
With the bracelet secured onto his wrist, Kevin beamed like a kid on Christmas, and held it up to show it to the setting sun. “It’s great—it’s perfect. Thank you, Yn.”
It was some sort of cosmic magic that corralled everyone back down to the shoreline again, but this time, with all of the kids and non-jet-skiers, as well. Another tradition that your party liked to share every year at the lake was rock-skipping. Perhaps it was more of just an activity than a tradition, but it was something that none of you failed to remember to do whenever you were up here. Since you were a kid, you had been practicing to hone your technique.
Your siblings and the Kims, especially, all ran up to the shoreline beside you and Kevin, and the search for the perfect throwing rock began. In the chaos of merriment and childlike glee, the lot of you trudged into the cooling water of the lake’s shallow shore.
“I know you just gave me the coolest friendship bracelet ever,” said Kevin from beside you as he sifted through the rocks beneath his flip flops, “but I hope you know that I’m gonna crush you this year.”
You snorted. “Okay, Kevin.”
“No, I’m serious!” You guffawed at the sight of his expression; he’d even stood up straight in the water, a pair of flat stones in either hand. “My friend YH!Yn—she’s an engineer, right—”
“Oh, so you’re gonna win by cheating?”
“Nuh-uh,” he rolled his eyes, unimpressed by your posturing. “She showed me this video online. You know Mark Rober? She’s a huge fan, but that’s besides the point. The point is that the video taught me the perfect technique to rock-skip.”
Something in you liked to think that was still cheating, but then again, neither of you had ever really established any ground rules to this, and certainly none about doing research. Your eyes narrowed. “Explain yourself.”
Kevin decided between one of the two rocks in his hands with a brief peek at both of them, before discarding the one in his left hand back into the water with an anticlimactic sploosh. “You’re supposed to launch the rock so it hits the surface of the water at a twenty-degree angle.”
Joshua trudged into the water near both you and Kevin with the sleeves of his plaid over-shirt rolled past his elbows. “I don’t even know what kind of rock to look for, and you guys are bringing trig into this?”
“Oh my god, don’t even get them started,” Jin grumbled from a handful of meters away from the three of you. He kicked through the shallow water with his eyes pinned to the ground in his own search for a rock to skip. “Yn almost gave me a black eye one year.”
“That was an accident and I was ten!”
“Yeah, well rocks hurt!”
Joshua bent down slightly and scooped up a rock from the water. He considered it for a minute, taking in its size, its weight, and how pretty it was. “I guess this can work. So do you guys have, like, a training boot camp for beginners or something?” He chuckled.
“I can show you,” you offered once you’d decided on your own rock for the first round.
“Tch,” Kevin huffed, “if you wanna show him the wrong way to do it.”
Your jaw unhinged. “If you keep this up, I will take back that friendship bracelet, Moon Hyungseo.”
Jin covered his mouth with one of his hands and sidled up next to Joshua. “Ooh, she used the government name.” That coaxed another laugh out of the Los Angeles boy.
Kevin held his decorated wrist to his chest. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”
Suffice to say that when it came down to it, Kevin did have the better technique. There were really four main things to consider when rock-skipping, one of them being that the rock ideally should hit the water at twenty-degrees, as Kevin had mentioned before. Though, you did have to give yourself some credit for managing to work your way up to thirteen skips in a row without the help of an engineer friend.
EPISODE SEVEN: ALWAYS TREAT YOUR PLANTS WITH CARE
VACATION granted you the express permission to be the laziest bum in the world. After three years of college work, sometimes it was nice to have even a single day to yourself to do what you always wanted to: relax. In a world that moved as fast as this one, it was nearly impossible to take breaks without feeling the aching guilt of a day without productivity.
But there was something about the lake… you didn't know. Maybe it was just because years of coming here and associating it with the ease and carefree air of childhood that made it easier to sleep in and feel the sun on your toes.
The house and the neighboring ones were quiet this late morning. At ten or so, the Kims had swept up your siblings and their children and towed them off to town for ice cream and provisions. (You hoped they remembered to grab you some bird seed. You still had yet to replenish the bird feeders around the lake.) You weren't sure where your parents were off to, but you recalled them briefly mentioning a visit to the hidden swing at Lookout's Peak about a three mile hike from here. That meant that you had the whole house to yourself.
And what else did that mean? That you would not be in the house.
When it hit noon, you ate a quick lunch at the kitchen counter before gathering up your supplies to head outside. There was always a spare picnic blanket stashed in the hallway closet, and you grabbed a book, your neglected sketchbook, and a pencil to come along with you.
The weather was perfect, you liked to think—temperate, and not popsicle-melting, with a hint of a breeze wafting through the boughs of the oak trees. You trudged your way over to the largest oak tree with the most amount of shade, gunning to get some full relaxing done when you realized that you were not as alone as you thought you were.
You and Kevin locked eyes from where he sat against the trunk of the tree, his iPad left at his side and his camera being fiddled with between his fingers. The friendship bracelet you gave him the other day still hung around his wrist.
"Hi," he grinned. "I thought you went into town with the twins."
"Ah, nah" you sighed pleasantly as you shifted the things in your arms, "I decided to sleep in. You?"
"Same here." He amended, "Well, as much as someone like me can sleep in." He gestured to the picnic blanket bundled over your arm. "How about I help you with that?"
With teamwork (because that made the dream work), the two of you laid out the picnic blanket on the shady grass beneath the oak tree, overlooking the view of the lake. You settled yourself atop it while Kevin moved his things beside you; shoes were discarded at the edge, so you both sat comfortably on the blanket, half-facing the other.
You reached for your sketchbook, inclining your chin toward the DSLR now sitting abandoned as he picked up his iPad. "What were you up to before I got here?"
"Oh, uh, just looking through some photos I took this morning to maybe use as a reference," he said, twirling his Apple pencil between his fingers. "I keep forgetting to take pictures on this trip."
"Maybe it's a good thing," you offered. You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and flipped to a blank page. "Let's you live in the moment, y'know?"
"Yeah. I guess so." He tapped the end of his pencil against his cheek. You were never the type for fancy technology and equipment, mainly because you were a little stubborn, but nothing could beat a good pencil and paper. "I'm gonna draw you," he suddenly declared.
A giggle bubbled out of your chest. "What? Me?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"Well then, I'm gonna draw you."
His eyebrows shot up, an amused smile worming onto his face. "You do you, honey."
The two of you, coincidentally, came to share quite the handful of interests. One of them was sketching, and you liked to give credit to your ecology and biology classes at school that gave you the time to practice your drawing skills, even if super accurate drawings weren't always required. It just gave you an excuse to combine two things you loved.
You never did pick up how to use a DSLR though. At least, not like Kevin knew how to.
You sat there for a moment with your cheek to your fist and your eyes glued to the man across from you. Drawing people was difficult—it was always the subtle details that threw you overboard, the movement of the hands and fingers, the crevices in the wrinkle of one's eyes, the… the look. The thing that made them look like a human being.
Kevin had always been a beautiful subject matter. His bone structure was near perfect in your eyes; his smile was awful to draw just because it was so pretty, and you couldn't do it justice. You could never achieve the right curl of his lips, or infuse it with his humility. And even now, you watched the way his eyelashes fell so gently over his eyes and the dusting of pink falling across his cheekbones…
"You're staring."
You blinked, breaking out of your daze. "I'm studying my subject," you clarified pointedly and began to sketch out a rough outline of his head. A portrait would do just fine for the day.
Kevin mimicked your position from earlier where he leaned in slightly and rested his cheek against his fist. "There was this internship I turned down this summer."
His words made you glance up from your paper for a moment.
He continued on, straightening, then absentmindedly sketching out an outline for your face. "It was supposed to be in New York, at this studio, but…" He blew air out between his lips, "I don't know; I couldn't do it. It was a great opportunity and it didn't call to me, but I feel so guilty about not even trying."
You waited a beat in case he wanted to continue. You could see the conflict warring across this face, the subtle flex in his jaw at his frustration—with the portrait or himself, you weren't sure.
"Sorry, I don't know why I suddenly just thought of that," he said to you. "I was just thinking about this place and not being here last year, and I think my brain just went to that."
You looked over at him in earnest. "I feel you, I mean… some things just aren't meant to be, and you shouldn't force it. That's how you get burnt out, y'know?"
"Yeah," he murmured in agreement.
"I was looking at an internship, too," you piped up with a shape exhale. "I—I didn't get it, clearly, but uhm…" It still hurt.
Kevin frowned. "Oh, man. I'm sorry, Yn. I feel like I'm just complaining now that—"
"No, oh my gosh, no!" You hurried to interrupt him. "Don't be silly," you said gently, "you shouldn't invalidate your feelings like that. Some things just really aren't meant to be." It didn't mean it hurt any less that they weren't, but maybe this was the path you were meant to take instead. "It's something I'm coming to terms with, too, but don't compare your troubles against mine. Please."
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, and it took him a little to finally try for a half smile. "You're gonna get the next one."
You smiled back at him. "Thanks. And you'll find one that suits you."
"I hope so."
"Do you ever worry about," you began as you played around with the slightest curve of his nose on your paper, "not being who people want you to be?"
He hummed. "What do you mean?"
"Like, successful. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this." You didn't know where this had sprouted from in the first place, but one insecurity in particular had nested in the inner cavities of your chest and made itself a home. As someone who wanted to be at wildlife encampments, not catering to fancy rich dogs in a clinic, your path wasn't conventional. You were becoming a veterinarian, but your parents always thought you would end up someplace nice with a pay that was equally nice. Something practical, something they didn't have to worry over. Your calling was… elsewhere though. Somewhere a little more difficult to reach without the prying eyes and mouths of those around you.
Kevin marinated on it. "I think… the two of us are kind of similar in that way. We're both not taking on things that people have expected of us."
Out of everyone you knew, you had a feeling he would be one of the few who could empathize. "There's—there's this thing I want to do," you said. You couldn't figure out the words to string your thoughts into coherent speech; you felt like it would never come out right. But Kevin was patient. "I've always wanted to go on safari expeditions, and observe wildlife in the wild, and do research, and work with conservatories. It feels so unattainable sometimes, when I think about the people looking at me and expecting something good. Does that make sense?"
He gave a thoughtful nod, his Apple pencil tucked behind his ear for the time being. "Yeah, that makes sense. I remember you talked about it before."
That rang a bell. "When I made you watch the David Attenborough Our Planet doc series," you mused. In association, your brain sparked images of late nights, blue-light screens, and flashlights beneath blanket forts. You had been fully convinced Kevin would say the documentary series would be boring like everyone else, but to your pleasant surprise, he had been just as enthralled as you'd been.
"You didn't make me," he smiled. "I liked it."
Your chest warmed. "I still have it downloaded on my phone if you wanna watch."
He screwed his face up in amusement, shaking his head. "You're one of the biggest dorks I know. And I know so many dorks now."
"I'm still your favorite dork though, right?" You smiled down at your paper when you were satisfied with how his eyes turned out.
"Always."
A beat passed, and from your periphery, you saw him tap the blanket in front of you to get your attention.
"Hey, you're gonna be okay," he said. "One day, you will go hide in a bunker in the Siberian winter to wait for tigers like a crazy person—"
"Okay, wait, out of all the examples you watched in the doc, you chose—"
"Anyways!" He grinned at the look you sent him, unfazed. "We're both gonna be okay, alright? We're chasing dreams, and sometimes the chase is hard, but the reward is sweet."
You knew he was right; of course he was right. Talking things out was always a good idea, especially with a trusted person, and who better to trust than Kevin Moon? You had friends who understood, but not really understood.
You reached for his pencil with the end of yours and you bumped ends like ET. The corners of your lips curled upward as you met his gaze, and you were struck by the softness in his rich, chocolate irises. No sketch, painting, portrait could do those beautiful eyes justice. "Don't call me a nerd for this."
"No promises."
You fixed him with a look. "There's this thing that plants do called phototropism. Because plants need light to synthesize into food and energy, they often turn and grow towards the nearest light source. So even in, let's say, a dark hole in the ground—if there's a crack in the roof that brings light in, the plant will grow in that direction, and probably grow its way out." You cleared your throat. "Thanks for showing me the light."
Kevin's eyes shone big and wide, doe-like you liked to say, almost in awe of the explanation of a basic function plants performed to survive. But twisted in a certain way, and one could apply it to everyday non-plant life, as well.
"Now how can I possibly call you a nerd after that?" His voice went raspy and he had to clear it, too. "I think I'm getting misty-eyed," he said, fanning his eyes.
You chuckled at his antics. "Oh, hush. I guess it's my way of saying thanks for reminding me I'm not gonna be a failure." It was scary how often you thought about it, especially at college.
Kevin reached over and warmed one of your hands with his. "You're not gonna be a failure, Yn. I promise you that."
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All of the kids were asleep in the back of the Kims' minivan, and it took two trips back and forth between the car and the living room to transfer all four sleeping munchkins. By the time Jin and Yuna were done, the former was certain he was going to need a cane much earlier in his life than previously anticipated.
He held his back as they made their way out onto the back porch. "I think I'm aging faster," he said to his partner.
Yuna sputtered out a laugh. "Aye, so dramatic, and for what? You're gonna survive."
"No sympathy," he sighed melodramatically as he hung off her frame. "I wonder where everyone else is."
His voice trailed off as they stood on the porch and overlooked the valley below. Just further out, they could easily see the occupants of the big oak tree between yours and the Moons' houses. You and Kevin sat slightly angled toward one another, not quite sitting next to each other, but not quite facing each other either.
The laughter was apparent on your faces as Kevin showed you something on his iPad. You grabbed the screen with ill-concealed delight, your eyes lighting up like a pair of fireflies. "No, oh my god, the little sprout on top of my head! You didn't!"
Yuna murmured softly to her lover with a chuckle, "Should we go say hello?"
Seokjin adjusted his position so now his arm rested around her shoulders. A smile etched onto his face at the view; he was so fond of the very thing neither you nor Kevin could see just yet. "Well, how could you possibly want to break that up?"
EPISODE EIGHT: NOD AND SMILE… YUP.
YOU weren't really sure why it took so long before you all deigned to take a proper dip in the lake, but as they said, better late than never.
The sun beat down on the little lake population, even at ten in the morning, which made it perfect weather to go swimming. Your house was a-bustle with life, thunderous footsteps, and motherly yelling to her children of “You better all have sunscreen on!” You were just finishing up the task yourself, rubbing in the last handprint of sunblock onto your calf before you were grabbing your towel at the end of your bed and heading out.
You caught Alice coming down the stairs with her floral one-piece on and a set of blue goggles strapped to her head. This morning, her hair was in two braids. “Do you have sunscreen on?” You asked her as you opened the back screen door.
“Yes,” she groaned as if this was the hundredth time she’d been asked that question today. Knowing your family, it probably was the hundredth time. “Do we still have the flamingo floatie?”
“We can probably pop down to the shed and see,” you suggested. You blinked in surprise at the person you found leaning against the railing of your back porch. “Why hello there.”
Joshua glanced up from the piece of string in his hands that he had tied at the ends to form one, large ring. “Hi guys! Either of you ladies know how to play Cat’s Cradle?” His hands slipped in between the string so that the ring rested on the backs of his fingers. In a movement that sent a wave of nostalgia down your spine, he maneuvered his hands through the string to form the zigzag pattern correspondent with the beloved childhood game.
“Ooh! Me, me!” Alice bounced around on the balls of her feet and rushed over to where Josh was to pick out the next pattern.
The screen door behind you opened up again as soon as you stepped foot onto the deck. Your dad appeared with your little brother, both of whom were dressed in rash guards and swim trunks. Your dad hustled his son along. “Yn-ah, we’re going down to the shed to get swimming things. Wanna come?”
“Wait, Daddy, can we get the flamingo floatie?” Alice asked your dad. Joshua finished up the next pattern, and your sister was quick to grab the next.
“Sure. We have to go now, though.”
With little else left to say or do, your dad ferried your little siblings off and around the house to where the shed was. It was tucked out of the way somewhere between your house and the Kims’ place.
You sidled up beside Joshua and slung your towel over your shoulder, noting his tank top and shorts. “You going for a swim with us?”
He gestured to his attire, nodding. “Seems like it. My parents wanted to run into town to do some shopping, see the sights. Your mom mentioned last night that you all were planning to go swimming today, so I thought I’d tag along, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, man—it’s totally cool.”
You gazed far out toward the lake down the lawn. There were already a few people there, including Kevin and the Kims. Sana and Leena were already frolicking around in the water with their dad, while Yuna and Kevin stood off to the side on the dock. It seemed that Yuna had brought down a pair of foldable chairs to set up there, perhaps to soak up a little sun.
The two of them exchanged a couple more words before Yuna left him there so she could go pick up Leena from falling face-first in the water. Leena was still an infant, after all.
You decided that this would be a good time to run and join him, but your thoughts slowed to a halt when Kevin picked up the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. You even heard Joshua beside you lose his breath. The sunlight had to be a paid actor or something, because the way it glowed across your friend’s shoulders, enunciating the firm muscles in his back, had to be illegal in nature.
Joshua’s low whistle of appreciation met your ears. “Wow… he’s ripped.”
You nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah.” Whoops, did you say that out loud?
The man simply chuckled and bounded down the porch. “C’mon, Yn. Let’s go join them before he catches you staring.”
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If there was anything else that you and Kevin took seriously besides rock-skipping, it was the game Marco Polo. The rules were simple: an elected tagger would play with their eyes closed, yelling out “Marco” in order to locate other players in the water. The tagger had three or five opportunities to open their eyes (this was enforced for safety reasons) in order to tag everyone. Those who were not the tagger were required to reply with “Polo” in response to the tagger’s call.
Boundaries of the game ranged from your house to Kevin’s house, and no hiding beneath the dock. (Only the tagger could pass beneath that zone.)
By the time it was Kevin’s turn to tag, nearly an hour and a half had gone by, and you could feel the sun’s rays seeping into you. The heat was getting to you, and by the looks on everyone else’s faces, it was getting to them, too. But… one last round never hurt anybody.
"Are you guys ready?" Kevin's mom stood on the dock with her hands on her son's shoulders. Kevin's eyes were screwed shut where he sat on the edge of the dock, his feet swinging where they dangled over the water. Everyone stood scattered in the water, biding their time before Kevin's mom let him hop in.
She surveyed the surrounding water for nods of confirmation. You lingered just at the outer edge of the boundary, face half in the water with your eyes peeking out to hide your smile. You would swim back in should he come this way, but the buoy behind you kept you from cheating.
When she was satisfied with what she saw, she patted him on the shoulders. "Okay, Kevin."
He lowered himself into the water. "Marco!"
"Polo," came the wary response, a voice from every corner and reach of the boundary, it seemed.
He honed in on a voice—not yours, it seemed, but Uncle Jin's—and slowly treaded over toward that direction. You saw your uncle's eyes widen in fear, and he ducked under the water for a swift second to attempt at a silent getaway.
"I can hear you," Kevin chuckled as he swung his arm over his head to adopt a freestyle stroke. The tone of his voice sounded awfully menacing.
"YAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jin screeched, no longer trying to stay quiet.
One by one, Kevin picked people off. Yuna had a little disadvantage since she had Sana clinging to her back the whole time, so she was given a merciful second life. But when she was caught once more, it was onto dry land for her and her daughter.
Kevin treaded water on the other side of the boundary. In the water, it was just you two.
"Fighting, Yn-ie!" Jin cheered from the shore. A towel was draped over his shoulders with Sana sucking on a watermelon by his leg.
You saw your siblings and Josh raise up their fists in encouragement. "Get him, Yn!"
"Wow, thanks guys," Kevin replied dryly, shaking the water out of his hair. His eyes were miraculously still closed; you had no idea how and when he got so good at this. He still had one more opportunity to open his eyes.
You grinned. "Are you sure you're not cheating by the way?" You drawled with a feigned look of consideration, as if he could see what you looked like.
He gasped. "Me? Cheating? My abilities are far greater than the need to cheat."
"Okay, prove it."
Why did the universe curse you with such a big fucking mouth?
A swear left you as he launched himself across the safe zone. It was like he knew exactly where you had been hovering in order to reach his ridiculously long arms over his head to try and tag you. You gunned out of the way, narrowly missing the dock as you backstroked back from where he came to avoid him.
"Marco!"
"Screw you—polo!"
His white teeth glistened as he grinned, eyes closed completely shut still. Damn. "I can smell fear."
"Sometimes you can be so dramatic," you taunted.
"Now that's just hurtful." And he took it personally.
Around and around you both went, lakewater thrashing as your arms and legs kicked and pumped as hard as you could. You felt so agile and free at times, a dolphin in your own right.
There was a lull in the game for a minute when you managed to evade Kevin's grasp yet another time. He was patrolling the other side of the dock while you loitered just around the corner, by a post. You could hear on land that everyone had turned their attention away from yours and Kevin's competitiveness in favor of the bag tossing boards Kevin's dad brought out.
"Oh, Yn," he smiled, brushing a hand through his hair absentmindedly. "I'm gonna get ya."
If you weren't worried about being so close to him, you would have thrown a retort right back.
But there was another poor, poor hinge to your plan, and that was the very core of the game you were playing.
He whispered, "Marco."
You screamed internally. "Polo," you whispered, barely audibly.
His head whipped in your direction, and before you could even blink, he used his shortcut beneath the dock to yank your wrist back toward him. "Gotcha!"
"Goddamn it," you groaned as you rested up against the post behind you. The water in this area was just shallow enough that your feet could reach the bottom.
Kevin chuckled as he finally opened his eyes. He blinked feverishly to adjust to the sunlight, then ran a hand through his slicked-back hair. He was so close that you could see the water droplets on his head dribble down the sharp slope of his nose. He took in his surroundings, a sly kind of smirk curling up onto his face. "No hiding beneath the dock, Yn."
"I technically wasn't beneath the dock," you shot back.
"Mhm," he pressed his lips together, brows furrowing. He moved closer and braced one arm against the post above your head. "Say I believe you."
You brushed the sudden butterflies in your stomach away as the heat melted your brain (and not Kevin). "That sounds like you don't believe me."
"Well, either way…" He brought a finger close to your face and tapped your nose. You could have sworn you saw his eyes dart downwards for a second, away from your eyes, toward your mouth. "I win."
EPISODE NINE: KINDLING FOR ALL KINDS OF FIRES
A campfire was always in order.
There were quite a few things that needed to be done before it could happen, however. One of the few things on the list just happened to be going out to find firewood, as well as filling up the bird feeders you left hanging out in the forest beyond. You could kill two birds with one stone. (Definitely not literally though. You hoped you never needed to kill two birds with one stone unless it was for pure survival purposes.)
The bird seed you'd requested to be brought back was… somewhere around here. You couldn't remember where exactly Auntie Yuna said they put the bag, but you would go hunting for it.
You meandered through the first floor of your lake cabin, gradually approaching the kitchen area where you heard voices. As far as you were aware, your parents were holed up in the kitchen with Kevin’s parents, as well as Kevin himself. Your siblings were probably either upstairs or at the Kims’ place. Probably.
“—know Judy’s daughter, right?” You recognized your mom’s voice among the fray. By this time, you stood in the middle of the living room with your hands on your hips. Where in the world was that sneaky bag of bird seed?
Kevin’s mom replied next, “Ah, she’s doing that drawing major or something, right? I forgot what it’s called—”
“Animation,” supplied her husband.
“Yes, that’s the one.” A clinking of metal on china; they were most likely digging into the trifle cake that was assembled earlier in the day.
“I hear there’s something going on and it’s getting more difficult to find work for them.”
A disgruntled sound. “Yah. That's the risk that comes with those art majors. If she had gone into bioengineering like Judy wanted her to, then she wouldn’t be worrying so much.”
You paused from your position in the living room. From your vantage point, you got a clear view into only part of the kitchen, but it was where Kevin lingered with his back to one of the cabinets. He had a bowl of dessert in one hand, the other using the tines of his fork to prod at a bite of cream and cake. His head was tilted down though, and you caught his periodic glances toward the part of the kitchen you couldn’t see where the adults probably were, prattling on and on as if he weren’t standing right there.
Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach.
Why was he subjecting himself to this? Why didn’t he just pick himself up and leave—? The thought came to you that maybe he thought he deserved to hear this.
Having surveyed the living room enough to know that the bird seed wasn’t here, you did happen to note the presence of his camera sitting on the coffee table. You snatched the device up and headed for the kitchen.
“I think it’s good to cultivate creativity, but there’s a difference between a career and hobbies—”
“Psst.” You grappled onto the side of the doorway, quietly catching Kevin’s attention.
His head perked up at the sound and his eyebrows shot up in question. He offered the bowl in his hands to you. Want some? He mouthed.
You shook your head, then used your free hand to wave him over. Bird seed?
He seemed to understand. With one, massive bite, he finished the rest of his bowl, deposited it in the kitchen sink, then quietly slipped out of the room with you.
When the two of you were in the clear and you were following him over to the closet beneath the stairs (damn, had you really forgotten that this closet existed?), you handed him his camera. “I’m invoking rescue protocol,” you told him.
Kevin accepted his camera with a furrowed brow, watching as you opened up the closet door and found a canvas sack of birdseed sitting there. Huzzah! “Wait, but…” He considered you for a moment, and a slow smile slid onto his face. He ducked his head and threw his camera strap around his neck. “I appreciate you. Have I told you that?”
“And I—” You grunted as you picked the bag up into your arms and used your foot to kick the door closed. “—appreciate you. How’d you know this was where the bird seed was?”
“I just remembered what Uncle Jin said,” he told you with a shrug.
The two of you meandered out of the backdoor and onto the porch in a silent agreement to go fill some bird feeders together. The forest at this time of day was streaked in golden sunlight, emerald green leaves painted over in an amber wash of glitter. It felt warm and comfortable like autumn, but with the color palette of summer. The air was fresh, not crisp, and there was still a dollop of pollen floating around in the air from the tailend of spring.
You and Kevin entered the forest proper, and you shifted the bag into your right hand when you finally got the bag’s handles up and at ‘em. “I know the protocol wasn’t meant for those kinds of situations,” you started.
Kevin let his camera rest in his hands at midriff once he had fiddled with the settings enough to his liking. “I know.”
“They’re wrong, you know?” You turned to look at him as you stopped at the first feeder and let the sack of seed and grain fall to your feet with a thump against the earth. Before you opened up the bag, however, you peered up into the wooden house hanging from the branch, slobbered in messy paints and melting smiley faces. There wasn’t a speck of grain or seed left in this one. Satisfied, you bent down to rip the bag open and take out a scoop with your hands.
The shutter of a camera lens fired. He sighed, lowering the camera so he could inspect the test shot he took. “I’ve come to terms with that—all of their opinions, I mean.” He lifted the viewfinder back up to his eye and took another shot as you shoveled the bird seed into the hole. A small stream of it missed and tumbled to the forest floor. “Sometimes I do think like that, though. Whether or not I should have stuck with psychology and become a teacher instead of photography.”
You folded the edge of the bag over itself after dusting your hands off, and the two of you continued onward. “Are you happy with photography though? Do you like the things you’re learning, the work you’re doing?” That was one of the few metrics that kept you clinging onto your dreams—your hands were getting scraped and sweaty holding onto the side of the cliff face, but even though your shoe slipped against the ledge and threatened a long drop, you held on. Some days, you thought it was a sad, desperate effort; others, you found extra strength to dig your soles in.
He didn’t have to think much before answering. “Yeah, I do. It’s… it’s fulfilling.” He shot you a glance. “I guess it’s something I enjoy so much that most days it doesn’t even feel like work. All of the logistic, ‘real world,’ adult stuff is kind of a headache, but…” Even though his sentence trailed off, you could still follow.
You plopped the sack of seed down on the ground beneath the next bird feeder. “I know that it’s hard to think about what-ifs, and I’m kind of a hypocrite about it, too—but I think—” you scooped up a handful of bird seed and poured it into the opening. This house had a little sunshine painted on the roof. “—Kevin, I think you made the right choice. Obviously, it shouldn’t matter what I think; that’s just what I’ve observed so far.”
“It matters what you think,” he replied quietly. “To me, at least.”
The two of you shared a smile as you dusted your hands off again. The chase is hard, but the reward is sweet—those had been his words to you the other day.
“Do you want me to carry that for you?” He mused, in view of your struggle to pick the damn thing off the ground.
You suddenly gained a spurt of strength and energy. “I’m—great.”
His low chuckle followed you as you went. You could hear his shutter go off again.
“Thank you for assuring me that I took the right risk.” Kevin fell into step beside you once more with his camera cradled in his hands. There was a softness to his eyes again, a kind of tenderness you recognized only when it was just the two of you.
You went for a smile. “I feel you, you know? Maybe not on the same level, but you’re not in crisis alone, okay?”
His shoulder bumped against yours. “Get on my level,” he jested.
Your smile haplessly curled up further. “Yeah, yeah, you five year old.” You leaned over his arm to peer at his camera screen. Your heart hammered, blood spiking, when you saw what the subject of all his shots had been thus far. “Oh my god, have you been taking pictures of me?”
He giggled at your reaction. "What? What else am I supposed to be taking pictures of?"
"Uhm?" You gestured with your arm in a wide arc. "There is literally a whole world around us. Nature is much more photogenic than I am." A nervous laugh bubbled out of your chest as you adjusted a lock of hair that had gotten in your face.
"You are totally photogenic," he scoffed. "Literally look."
The two of you stopped in the middle of the path so he could show you the pictures he had taken thus far. Like most people when they saw a picture of themselves, you wanted to grimace, but you tried to search for what Kevin was seeing.
They were all incredible candid shots. The color was so vivid and bright, the edges crisp and focused. He had captured you at the moment when you were smiling, peeking into the bird feeder. It was that split second before the smile bloomed into something bigger when it only teased at the corner of your mouth.
You leaned back and coughed. "I only look good because you made me look good."
"Now that's bullshit."
You both resumed your walk to the next bird feeder. He said to you, "You can't possibly appreciate nature's beauty without appreciating your own, Yn."
You tilted your head and sent him a sidelong glance. "Why did that sound actually profound?"
"What do you mean actually profound?" His face arranged into an expression of offense. "Am I not regularly profound?"
You smiled to yourself. "I mean… if you had to ask—" Click! "Hey, now wait a minute!"
He beamed something boyish at you from over his camera lens. "Whoops?"
The bird seed bag thumped onto the forest floor again and you moved to check the inside of the next bird feeder. To your utter delight, you were greeted by the sight of sticks and mud and leaves slotted together in a messy riffraff, otherwise known as a bird's nest. You could hear the bright chirping coming out from the feeder's hole, and dark gray feathers poked out.
"We won't disturb these ones," you whispered, backing away to collect your bird seed. But before you left, you took a little of the grain to sprinkle on the outer landing ledge.
You didn't even realize you had been smiling out of pure giddiness until you reached the next feeder on the path. You had always secretly hoped that a bird would take over one of the houses as their own. Lo and behold, that hope manifested into reality.
Kevin helped you out with the next one since this tree was hung with a duplex. It was similar to a human duplex; the house was split down the middle to hold double the feed. The two of you carefully transferred seed and grain into its proper place.
"If you really are uncomfortable with me taking pictures of you," he said as the two of you picked up where you left off, "then I can totally delete them." He made a gesture with his hand. "No harm, no foul."
Heat rose to your cheeks. "It doesn't bother me that much," you admitted sheepishly. "They were good pictures."
"See!" Elated, he slung an arm around your shoulders and tugged you against his side with an affectionate shake. "You see the vision? Do you see it now?"
You couldn't possibly say no to him when his expression was brighter than the sun at high noon. At this moment—this perfect moment—when the sunlight streaming through the trees painted his face in a filter of buttery gold… you could definitely see the vision, but perhaps not the exact one he saw.
EPISODE TEN: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES…
"OH, thank god, you guys went and got firewood!" Jin pressed his hands together in prayer as he jogged over to you and helped transfer the lumber in your arms over to his. On your way back from replenishing the bird feed, you let Kevin hold the remainder of what was left in the bag while you picked up any spare tinder for the fire. There were quite a few loose sticks around that would work nicely for the campfire tonight.
He walked off with your gatherings from the trip, and you and Kevin continued up to your lake house to drop off the bag of bird seed.
"So you were saying about the animal representation thing?" You piped up, recalling where the two of you last ended before your return to home base.
"Oh!" Kevin grinned. "It's so funny because some of my friends—you can totally see the resemblance of an animal, right? But then others don't really get an animal. Like Younghoon: he's just kind of bread."
You nearly tripped over a patch of dirt. "Bread?" You stammered incredulously. "Come again?"
"Bread," he nodded. He murmured in thanks to you when you slid open the screen door for him so he could shuck off his shoes and step inside the house. "But Changmin's a squirrel. Or a giraffe. That's what JC!Yn calls him, anyway; it's because of his long neck."
"Huh," you pondered. Interesting friend group they had going on there. You wondered what you would be…
As you passed by your bedroom on the first floor, you could hear your phone sounding off in aggressive vibrations even through the wooden walls and the closed door. You swore under your breath and pushed into your room to turn it off, then paused when you realized why it had gone off in the first place.
Fireflies.
"Everything okay?" Kevin's voice came back around the bend, his head poking into the space and the bird seed bag nowhere to be seen. He must have put it away just now.
You glanced up at him as you silenced the alarm and tucked your phone into your pocket. You hadn't needed it all that much this entire trip, but you would definitely hold onto it tight tonight. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Ready to head out?"
He didn't question your behavior and nodded. "Ready when you are."
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Sometimes campfire smoke burned Kevin's eyes, but that was mostly when he was younger and didn't know any better. The embers of the fire were always so warm and inviting, always luring him toward it and inviting him to stare into its core. He could still feel the sting of the ash in his pupils as he looked at it from afar now.
The summer sun had sunken down into the horizon and gave way to a comfortable nightfall. Above your heads hung curtains of leaves from oaks, and above them was the blanket of night sky bedazzled in stars. Nature, as you had said earlier today, was quite photogenic.
He sat perched slightly away from everyone in the group, settling at the picnic table with his back to the table surface so he could still face into the fire. When everyone regrouped, Joshua had brought along an acoustic guitar and played it for everyone now.
"Sunday morning, rain is falling."
Someone lit up in a small hoot of approval. Kevin observed the group before him, the several families that had come together. He was especially pleased that the Hongs and the Xus were still hanging out with the lot of them, the latter being around a little less, but still coming out to join the fun, nonetheless.
He hadn't even realized when the last time his mom tried blatantly pushing him towards Serena. At some point, she stopped and it slipped his mind.
"Clouds are shrouding us in moments, unforgettable. You twist to fit the mold that I am in."
Kevin scratched his jaw as he turned his eyes down to the iPad settled in his lap. After he had finished up dinner, he ran inside to swap out his camera for his device to get some sketching done. There wasn't a particular project he was working on; he just wanted to practice a little.
When he lifted his gaze back up to pick a subject, he found himself looking in your direction. Your dad and Connor brought out the goodies to make s'mores. Long, slim skewers were passed around the circle, and the kids were the first to receive marshmallows to spear.
You and your sister sat beside one another and you helped her grab two of the mallows to impale. The light from the fire flickered across your face in differing levels of shadow, a play on contrast. Your expression seemed softer here—he wasn't really sure what it was. Maybe it was the tenderness at the corner of your eyes as you laughed at Connor's marshmallow falling burnt into the pit; maybe it was the triumph you shared with Alice when you helped her sandwich her marshmallows between a slab of chocolate and twin graham crackers.
He liked to believe his hand started before he consciously knew what he was doing.
"That may be all I need… In darkness, she is all I see."
"Are you sure you don't want me to make you one?" You asked your brother as he grabbed his redemption marshmallow from the bag.
Connor huffed, puffing out his chest. "I got this."
Your eyebrows flew upward. "Okay, big guy. Have at it." You chuckled and grabbed a marshmallow for yourself, sticking it onto your skewer to let it broil over the heat.
Kevin traced the lines of your face with his eyes, his hand transferring that memorization onto his screen. Sometimes human expressions were a little difficult to portray accurately, and there was a thorn pricking the back of his mind, urging him to do you justice. He didn't know if he could.
Your head slowly swayed to the sound of Joshua's pretty melody, the corners of your mouth tilting upward. Kevin shifted his position on the bench and drew the little tick mark at the edge of your mouth for that slight smile.
He always knew you were beautiful—for fuck's sake, he'd practically said it today in the forest. It had been among the crush of other important conversations, but he meant it. He still had the image of you engraved in his brain, the moment when you discovered the family of birds in the feeder house. You'd lit up like a goddamn star.
You stood up from your spot once your marshmallow became the perfect golden tone over the edges. You stepped over to the chair that held all the ingredients and smooshed the marshmallow between chocolate and cracker. Then, you turned and marched over to him.
Surprise alerted in his features, and he subtly tilted the screen of his iPad up against his chest. "Hey," he greeted softly while you approached.
You returned the expression and held out the s'more to him. "Here. It's for you."
The organ in his chest did a somersault. "What?" He laughed, "For me?"
"Yeah, silly. I don't know why you're so far away, but I know you like 'em." You settled on the bench next to him with one arm braced behind you on the table and your legs crossed, one over the other.
"Thank you," he said, using one of his hands to bite into it with childlike giddiness. The mixture of flavors exploded in his mouth—the crunch of the graham cracker, the soft, gooeyness of the chocolate and marshmallow. A perfect, sweet treat, and done exactly right. "Mmmh, this is so good," he mumbled behind his hand to catch any crumbs on his lips.
You chuckled. "Nice, glad it has your stamp of approval." Your eyes wandered down to his iPad, and you could see the white screen lit up against his shirt. "What have you been up to?"
His eyes widened a smidge, and there came a bashfulness to his face. (Cute.) "Oh, uhm," he swallowed down the remainder of the s'more and tilted the screen away from you. Huh, strange. "It's nothing really. Just sketching."
You hummed in understanding, though it was a little out of character for him to hide it from you. "Ah, I see."
The two of you descended into silence, and you leaned your back against the table to get comfortable. Kevin passed you sidelong glances from the corner of his eye, unsure of how you knew he wanted you to stay. (Because he definitely did want you to stay.)
Perhaps this was a sign. Thoughts had been brewing in his head as of late, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with them. They all just… sort of piled up in his hands and he didn't know how to free them up to reach out to you.
He opened his mouth to say something—anything—maybe even about the pact—to retract the pact?—it didn't matter.
But when he turned to look at you this time, your gaze was elsewhere. That soft, tenderness remained, but you had turned your attention to Joshua.
Ah. He shouldn't have jumped so soon. A hopeless kind of ache twisted in his stomach that made him uncomfortable. He briefly glanced down at his screen of what he'd sketched of you so far and decided it might be better to finish it later.
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Fireflies. You nearly forgot that you planned to sneak out and see fireflies tonight.
By the time the campfire was cleaned up and everyone was tucked away into their beds, it was probably nearing midnight. You quietly rustled around your room in the dark and used only your phone's flashlight to gather things into a little knapsack—just the essentials, of course. There was no need to get fancy with it.
You wished you had signal so you could text Kevin and warn him ahead of time that you were about to go appear at his window, but you figured it would be fine anyhow. Even if he wasn't awake, the excitement buzzing inside of you could hardly wait.
Shouldering your bag, you headed out the door and crossed the divide between your house and the Moons'.
You located Kevin's window on the second floor, quietly rejoining when you realized it was cracked open. This had to be fate; what other reason would his window be open? (Clearly not for the cool, evening breeze or anything…)
You cupped your hands around your mouth. "Kevin!" You stage-whispered. "Kevin!"
A moment later, a head popped out the open frame. His hair stuck up a little bit and his eyes squinted down into the darkness at you. "Yn?"
"Yes," you said with a grin that he probably thought was idiotically too large. You waved him down. "I'm gonna go see fireflies!"
It took him a second to compute. "What time is it?"
"Like, midnight."
"Okay."
Seven minutes later, Kevin emerged from the back door with a T-shirt and sweatpants on, a yawn splitting his face. He shook his head out as if he was shaking out the remaining remnants of sleep from his system. You met him on the back stairs.
"So what's this about fireflies?" He asked you as the two of you ventured off into the wilderness.
Last year when you were up here at the lake, there was one night when sleep refused to take you. Your solution had been to go on a walk, and as completely dangerous as that sounded (because it was), you'd stumbled upon the meadow you now took Kevin toward. You hadn't the faintest why you never knew about this place after years of coming up to the lake town, but it was where the fireflies took flight.
The meadow was not too long a walk from where you both lived, and by the time you arrived, Kevin was wide awake.
"It's just over this crest," you told him, the jubilation in your voice nearly spilling over.
Kevin smiled at the sound of your excitement and eagerly followed you up the hill.
As soon as you made it over, you lost all your breath in awe. The meadow sprawled at your feet for miles was completely a-glow. Little beads of yellow-green light dotted the field in every corner like light bulbs strung together by invisible string. You had only ever seen this once in person, the rest via the internet and popular culture (movies, TV shows, and the like), and yet, it never compared to the real life experience.
You and Kevin stood there for a moment to soak in the sight. What a wonder of nature this was.
When you finally gained the sense to, you dug around in your bag for wherever you'd stashed your phone. Your tongue stuck out of the corner of your mouth as you fidgeted with the settings on your phone camera. You just wanted one little picture to show one of your professors at school, but it seemed your camera-working skills left much to be desired.
"Here, let me," Kevin murmured and gently took the phone from you. He showed you the screen as he fixed the settings—et voilà! Like magic, the field before you became visible on your camera screen in the crispiest, sexiest quality you had ever seen. "And… there you go."
He clicked the photo for you and handed you back your phone.
Mouth agape, you zoomed in on your completed photo. "Thanks, Kevin!" You gushed as you admired his handiwork.
He clasped a hand against the back of his neck. "No worries. Just a few tricks I learned."
You still warmed at the gesture. With your phone now tucked away, the two of you could sink back into the glory of the field of fireflies.
You heard Kevin's voice, soft, "How do they light up like that?"
"Bioluminescence," you replied in a whisper back. "It's a biochemical reaction that basically lets them convert energy into that light you see." There were plenty of other examples of bioluminescence in nature, as well. One particular instance you'd read about once, was a wave of bioluminescent algae appearing on the shores of a Southern Californian beach during the summer. It was neat stuff.
"Wild," he marveled.
A wave of calm fell over your form. You'd never felt so at peace in your life—just you, the outdoors, and one of the few people who made you actually feel this comfortable. You swallowed at the thought.
You were suddenly hyperaware of how close you were standing to him, the backs of your hands grazing against each other. You could feel his skin, his knuckles against yours—and maybe your brain was making it up, but the touch felt intentional.
For a second, you indulged yourself in what it might be like to close the distance and take his hand into yours. Of course, it wouldn't have to be in the romantic way; friends could hold hands… right? They could hold hands and your heart could skip several beats and he could look at your lips, and you would still be friends. Right?
You cleared your throat, and the sound seemed to thunder in the silence. "We should—we should probably head back," you said, sparing a glance at him.
He caught your eyes and held them. His lips turned upward, and the shine in his eyes was fond. "Okay."
With renewed energy, you made the trek back into the neighborhood. Your bucket list items for the summer had nearly all been checked off—not like you had a physical list written out. These were simply traditions you hoped to fulfill every summer while you were here in your happy place.
The crickets chirped a lovely serenade as you and Kevin strolled back onto the street where your houses stood. At the point where you both needed to split off, you nudged him with your elbow. "Thanks for coming out with me tonight."
"Thank you for inviting me," he countered with an amused hum.
"Good night, Kev."
You both lingered for a second. "Good night, Yn," he said back, pausing for a moment. Then he leaned over toward you and pressed his lips to the crown of your head. Your eyes fluttered shut. "Hope the lovebugs bite."
EPISODE ELEVEN: ROCKING THE BOAT
IF there was one thing that Kevin Moon was good at (besides the myriad of things he was actually good at), it was waking up his cousin to exercise with him in the morning.
"I think I deserve a nice, fat stack of pancakes after this," Yuna grumbled after nearly tripping over a raised tree root and kissing the forest floor. She grappled onto her cousin's shoulder to steady herself, the cousin in question giving a light chuckle at her antics. "When your mom said we should exercise together, I thought she meant the next time I was in Vancouver, not right now."
"Well, it's only because Yn's mom planned to go out with my mom this morning," Kevin mused. "Usually I have a designated walking partner."
"Woe is me. Alas, I have become your Plan B," Yuna sighed melodramatically with a hand draped over her forehead.
This morning, at a lovely 9:46am, the lake and its surrounding forest was just as alive and awake as Kevin was. The sun had taken up its perch in the clear, blue sky and the birds had long since begun their morning songs. They were awfully loud at this part of the lake, the exact three-quarter mark around the perimeter. Kevin thanked his parents for choosing houses away from this area—he would have never slept ever if they bunkered up here. (Not that he slept anyway, but that was beside the point.)
The walk began a little later than he usually did with your mom, but he granted Yuna a bit of leeway since she hadn't exactly been given a head's up. (He argued the opposite, but he let this once slide.)
"You're so dramatic," he chided playfully. "Watch out for that rock."
Yuna's mouth morphed into a deep frown, eyes wide open, as she narrowly missed being nature's fool another time. "Oh, speaking of Yn… Yn's mom? Whatever, I just mean Yn."
Kevin perked up at the topic change. His brain was fresh from last night's midnight endeavor with you and the fireflies. His lips still tingled from when he ventured to kiss you on the head… he wasn't sure where that courage had come from, but the memory of it kick-started his heart into a gallop. "What about Yn?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. You tell me." A smile crawled onto her face, and Kevin could smell her slyness a mile away. "The two of you have been hanging out a ton recently."
"We usually stick together," he sniffed, fidgeting absentmindedly with the beads on the bracelet you'd made him.
"Aish," she pressed her features into an unimpressed look that reminded Kevin of a typical Chanhee deadpan. "You're so unhelpful. You know what I'm talking about!" She smacked the side of his arm, and Kevin erupted into a fit of laughter.
His smile grew shy. "I don't really know what to say! I'm sorry—that's the truth." Because how could he even begin when it came to you? Where did it end, where did it begin?
"I see the way you look at her, Kev."
Kevin shoved his hands into his shorts. Suddenly the bird nest he spotted in a nearby tree became all too interesting. The bird nest reminded him of the birds who had made a home out of one of your feeders, and that reminded him of the adorable elation on your face when you discovered it and that reminded him of—he came to a stop. Oh, god, he was so far gone. "How do I look at her?"
Yuna peered at him curiously, then stopped to face him. "You look at her like I look at Jin. At least, that's how I think I look at him." She offered him a supportive smile. "But right now, you look like you're going through your midlife crisis."
"I might as well be."
She barked out a laugh. "Save that for when you buy a house, my friend."
He rubbed his temples with a wince. "Houses, domesticity, money, partners. Why is adulting so hard?"
"Hey, you'll get through it," she told him and nudged his shoulder. "What's going on, dude? What's on your mind?"
Kevin swallowed. He still hadn't the faintest idea where to begin, but everything had to start somewhere. Yuna had always been kind to him (a menace at times, but that feeling was mutual), and he trusted her with his vulnerabilities. He toed the ground. "Okay, last night, I kissed her—"
"YOU WHAT?"
He sputtered, red rushing to his face, as he grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes were practically falling out of her head. "Nonononono! Let me finish, you—I kissed her on the forehead, okay?"
Her gaping mouth closed only slightly. "Oh…" She thought about it some more. "Oh."
Kevin nodded gravely. "Yup."
Yuna straightened with a furrowed brow. "Well, that's not that big of a deal, is it?"
"What do you mean that's not a big deal?" His hands shot to the top of his baseball cap. "How is that not a big deal!"
"That's because the two of you refuse to acknowledge or entertain the obvious!"
Kevin hissed when she reached over to give his forehead a very hard flick. He rubbed the spot that began to smart; getting flicked in the forehead twice in one lake trip was twice too many. "The obvious?"
"That you guys can have the mushy gushy feelies without it being a product of the placebo effect from your moms' collective matchmaking efforts."
He made a face. "That was a lot of words…"
She deadpanned. "Kevin, listen to me: just because the two of you made a stupid pact when you were ten—"
"Eleven."
"Whatever. Eleven—doesn't mean that you can't leave room to, you know, amend that. You have to give yourself the opportunity to explore it, especially when I can clearly see that your feelings are changing about this girl." Yuna grasped her cousin by his shoulders this time in an attempt to telepathically insert these words into his brain. Or at least, just make him listen.
The words seeped into his head. The two of you had already made amendments earlier this trip, but you had never commented on the "only friends part." He even entertained the idea of bringing it up to you last night at the bonfire.
He didn't realize Yuna already began tugging him along the path to circle around the remainder of the lake to get back to the house. Everything was so muddled… but a part of him recognized that Yuna was right. He just wished he could get an idea of where your thoughts laid.
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There were moments when you thought life could be like a movie, but then why was doing this pedal boat thing so much less glamorous than it seemed? Then again, maybe you shouldn't have thought doing this at high noon was the greatest idea.
You should have been like your Uncle Seokjin, who sat to your left, swallowed up in a blue lifejacket, a pair of big sunglasses, and a crocheted bonnet with a duck face to keep his face out of the sun. Yeah, maybe glasses would have been a good idea.
Sweat dribbled down the side of your face and down the slope of your nose, and you wiped it off with the back of your hand. "It's so hot, Uncle. We couldn't have waited until later today when it cooled down?"
He leaned back, his cheeks and skin reddened and damp from the heat and the fire in his calves from pedaling. "Okay, okay. Let's stop here."
"Right in the middle of the lake?" You asked incredulously, but immediately brought your feet off the pedals to give your legs a deserved break.
"What better place to do so?"
The two of you lounged in your seat beneath the molten afternoon sun, limbs screaming, water draining from your bodies through your pores. This would have been nice if you brought a sun umbrella… or maybe some water… man, did you make so many poor choices today.
"So what's going on with you and Kevin?"
The question snapped you out of your heat-fazed daze. You nearly thought you hallucinated him saying that. You stammered, "What about me and Kevin?"
You could see his overexaggerated facial expression even from behind his sunglasses. "Yah, don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about—I saw you two last night."
You lurched out of your seat and caused the violent rocking of the boat. You and your copilot let out twin swears as the boat evened out on the waves, and luckily, did not capsize. "Sorry—the fuck? You did?"
"Actually, I didn't," he snickered. "But now I know something did happen. So what's the tea, girl? Hit me with it. It's hot outside but I always take my beverages scorching." He shifted in his seat, carefully, in order to give you his full attention.
You couldn't believe he dragged you out to the middle of the lake just for this conversation. Total Uncle Seokjin move. You walked (or pedaled) right into his checkmate.
Moments of last night flooded into your brain—the campfire, the fireflies, the kiss, the… the him. Kevin. You gulped. Where did you even think to begin? "I took him to see fireflies last night."
Jin scrunched his eyebrows together. "Fireflies? Since when did we have fireflies? You didn't take me to see the fir—oh, you know, what? It was your little romantic moment; I got it."
"It wasn't a romantic moment!" You sputtered helplessly, uselessly. "It was—it was a moment of serenity and scientific marvel."
"You are such a nerd. What did he do, huh? Did you guys hold hands or something?"
Almost. "No," you said. "He… he did kiss my forehead once we got back though."
"Aha!" You both careened as the boat trembled violently from Seokjin's sudden Einstein epiphany. "I knew that something happened," he said once the boat slowed to a stop again. "I just had a feeling in my gut."
"Are you sure it wasn't the yogurt you had this morning?"
"How dare you," he huffed. "I brought my lactose pills. And hey! Stop changing the subject."
You laughed aloud, but inwardly, your gut was churning. Maybe you could blame the heat, but you knew the real reason why you were suddenly feeling as unstable as the pedal boat you sat upon. The idea that the entirety of your friendship could be so easily uprooted… well, perhaps not easily. Picking apart your friendship would be like flushing weeds out of a garden—you would have to get at the roots, and right now, the roots were so deep that you would fall into the ground before finding the bottom.
Not that you wanted to uproot your friendship, or relationship, with Kevin. Of course not.
What did that forehead kiss even mean? What did all of the moments you shared between him this summer, as a whole, even mean? Why, all of a sudden, did you want the way he looked at you to mean something different besides platonic affection? Why did you want more when you had never really thought about more before?
You voiced all of this aloud to your uncle, who sat staring out onto the calm surface of the lake. When you were finished with your ramble, he said, "You need to get your shit together, girl."
You coughed. "Thanks, that was so helpful."
"I'm told that a lot," he beamed. "But really, those are all very good questions, Yn. And they're super important, too."
You frowned, lifting the rim of your baseball cap to wipe away the perspiration collecting at your hairline like a cult. "Do you think that these mixed feelings are a result of all the matchmaking going on? Like, somehow, we've let it affect how we view each other?"
"Honestly?" He sighed, his shoulders lifting and dropping in a half-hearted shrug. "Could be. But, Yn honey, is it really such a bad thing? And let's think about it this way—how do you feel about Joshua?"
You didn't need to think too hard about it. "He's a catch, but not my type of butterfly."
"Exactly, and oh my go—"
"Don't," you chuckled menacingly, "call me a nerd."
He gestured vaguely with his hand. "I wasn't; I was gonna call you a dork."
You snorted. With another swipe at your dripping neck, you said, "But Kevin and Serena—"
"'Kevin and Serena' don't exist," he told you with a smack of his lips. Jin peered at you from over the rim of his glasses, which in kind, made the duck's beady eyes stare straight into your soul, too. "That girl bats for the other team, and Kevin has shown zero interest in her other than helping her not fall off a jet ski."
Huh. You leaned your elbow onto the knee of one leg, propped up to your chest. "Well when you put it that way…"
"When I put it that way," he finished for you, "it makes it a little clearer, hm?" You were quiet for a moment, and Jin gave your shoulder a pat. "Some things are just meant to be."
The words, so familiar to you, rang true as a bell. Some things are just meant to be. You couldn't help the smile that started to work its way onto your face, and it was all thanks to Seokjin helping you sweep away some of the webs confusing your brain. You weren't completely confident, but you could feel yourself being nudged in a certain direction, and this time, you weren't pushing back.
The tide could take you where it may.
Your uncle by association added quietly, "Haven't you thought just once that, after all this sneaking around, there's been another reason for it other than a pact?"
EPISODE TWELVE: FISH IN THE SEA, ANTS IN THE GROUND
BY the time you and Jin returned to solid ground, you discovered that Kevin was away with his dad helping the Xus pack and clean up. Today they would be departing the small lake town, as they hadn't planned on spending as much time up here as the rest of you did. You and most of the others already said your goodbyes at the campfire, so you had little else to do but twiddle your thumbs until you could confront Kevin with your thoughts.
A shower always produced productive results, especially after melting Wicked Witch of the West style in the middle of the lake.
There was time, you realized, to bring things together. Of course, there was a part of you that shied away from wanting to even address this epiphany. What if bringing this up opened up a whole new can of worms? In other words, what if talking about the elephant in the room only led to regret? You didn't want to lose Kevin, and because your families were always so close, you didn't want to lose this. This connection, this tradition, this place.
Too many memories made their home here at the lake. It was your happy place… his happy place. It was everything.
Everything could change, and wasn't that terrifying? But it could also be great, and who best to share the scariest, greatest moments of life with other than your Kevin Moon?
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As rubber tire wheels ate gravel, Kevin nodded to his dad and set off back across the lawn toward your cabin. The afternoon had him busy with helping the Xus head home, which he didn't mind doing, of course; the lot of them had fun with his party, and his party with the lot of them. He and Serena left on friendly terms, undeterred by his mother's half-hearted attempt to get them sort of talking. Serena said she understood.
Kevin needed to talk to you though. After the morning was spent with Yuna getting him to see the big ass elephant in the room—trunk in his face and trumpet in his ear—there was no other course of action left but to tell you the truth.
The truth. God, the truth. The truth was that he didn't want the old pact in place anymore. That was it, plain and simple. It was crazy to think about how long the two of you had let it restrain your relationship—wait, did you want it to though?
"Hey Kevin!"
Kevin slowed to a stop, attention perking up at his name when he saw Joshua making his way over to him. He worried his bottom lip. You didn't… like Josh, did you? He just had to be sure because, well, that would throw a rock into things. "Oh, hey, man."
Joshua offered him a bright smile. "Hey. Did Serena and her parents just take off?"
Kevin cupped the back of his head. "Uh, yeah! Just now, actually."
"Cool, cool." Joshua nodded his head. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
His heart threw itself over the side of a cliff. Oh no. He let out a laugh, hoping to push the nerves out of his voice, but he was sure it wasn't too convincing anyhow. "Really? What—what about?"
"It's about Yn—" Oh, double no. "—I kind of," he winced, "noticed that her mom was trying to… nudge us together?"
"Oh god, let me be the first to apologize—"
Joshua broke the tension with a chuckle. "Hey, it's no worries! I just didn't know if you were aware or not because you and she kind of seemed like a couple to me, but I didn't know if her mom knew."
Kevin blinked, heart quickening for a different reason. "What?" He stammered. "Sorry, can we rewind?"
"Hm? That you and Yn are a thing? Are—are you not?" He gasped, eyes going wide. "Shit, that was stupid of me to just assume. Sorry if that was totally awkward!"
Oh, but quite the opposite. Kevin could feel the blood rush to his cheeks, clear as day. There was a warm feeling in his chest knowing that more people thought that you and him looked like a couple. It was ridiculous how the thought got him giddy now. Kevin shook his head though. "No, no, you're good, dude. But we aren't a couple." Yet. Hopefully.
Joshua cocked his head to the side curiously. "Oh? I guess… it's still a little strange of me to assume, so I apologize. You're…?"
"Interested?" A nod. "Yeah." (Wow, that was a verbal admittance. One step closer to the real thing.)
Kevin cleared his throat and grabbed his shoulder with his opposite hand. "You're not—you're not interested in her, are you? I mean," he rushed to add, "it's totally fine. I understand—"
Joshua shook his head. "Oh shit, no, I'm not interested. Not that Yn's a bad person or anything, but I'm taken."
Pause.
…that made sense.
Joshua laughed, ducking his head to hide the smile that blossomed on his face. "Yeah, I'm already spoken for. My parents don't really know yet, but… yeah. I didn't wanna get in the way of whatever you and Yn have, and hopefully I'm not saying this too late."
On the contrary, a weight lifted from Kevin's chest and he sucked in a lungful of summer breeze. "Nah, man. Thanks for saying it in the first place; I appreciate it."
"Yeah," Joshua said pleasantly. He nodded at him, lips pursed with one eye squinted. "She digs you, too, you know? I've seen it all throughout this trip."
Hope filled his heart like the air ballooning his lungs. He didn't know what to do with all of these. They just kept coming up onto the stack of things in his hands that he wanted to take into consideration and tell you to your face, once and for all. Your face just kept flickering in his mind's eye, and the nerves were slowly melting into excitement. He wanted to share this with you, as the two of you had done for years.
"I hope so."
Joshua clasped a hand on Kevin's shoulder. "I would say 'go get 'em, tiger,' but I have a friend at school who is scarily obsessed with tigers, so I'll just say—" A squeeze of his shoulder, "you got this."
Kevin didn't know what to do with that extra factoid, but he gave Joshua a grateful grin. "Thanks, man."
The pair split off from there, one heading back toward his own cabin, and the other, marching toward the future. Whatever laid ahead, he could take on.
His step gained a skip, and soon, he was jogging across the green until he appeared at your back porch. He hadn't really prepared anything—no romantic gestures, no flowers or candles, no chocolates. All he had were the words on his tongue and his newly realized love for you. Love, a strange phenomenon. He had his love for you stashed away in his breast pocket and it blossomed every summertime.
He let himself into the house and went poking around for you. "Yn? Yn, you back yet?"
No answer.
He ducked his head into the kitchen, the living room, before he came upon your bedroom door left slightly ajar. Through the sliver, he saw the bottoms of your feet on the bed, and he gently knocked on the door before pushing through.
"Yn…? Ah," His voice quieted to a whisper.
You were curled up over the bedsheets, asleep. Kevin slowly tiptoed his way over to you where your body was angled toward your phone screen, lying discarded on the pillow and actively running an episode of Our Planet.
A smile, fond and tender, pressed itself into his mouth. He reached over to carefully turn the downloaded episode off to descend the room in complete silence.
His head swiveled toward the foot of the bed where your patchwork quilt hung off the railing. He carefully draped it over your sleeping form, then made his exit.
You deserved the rest. And though he couldn't confess to you now, this gave him the time to ensure he got this exactly right.
EPISODE THIRTEEN: THE DAMSELS IN DEVOTION DEAL™
TIME passed by differently here.
One moment, you were biding your time and indulging in an episode of Our Planet; the next, the bedroom was dark and the house was quiet. You roused from sleep confused and delirious. You stretched your limbs up over your head, taking note of the quilt draped over your body.
Huh, you wondered how that got there.
Your eyes fluttered and squinted when you stood up and saw a flicker of amber light from outside your window. The view looked over only part of the backside to the house, so all you could see were the shadows that the campfire created. They danced by way of the breeze, their puppetmaster.
The time on your phone read a (slightly alarming) ten o'clock. You hadn't realized you slept that long. Maybe you were more tired than you originally thought.
Wait, then why was the campfire still blazing?—
"Yn! Psst!"
You pressed your face against the open slit in the window to track the sound of your name. Déjà vu swept over you as you discovered Kevin making his way over toward you from the outside. "Kevin? Is everyone still up?"
He shook his head. "No, no. I've just been waiting," he admitted sheepishly. "Come on out. Have you eaten yet?"
"Oh, no. I just woke up."
"Ah… right." He clasped the back of his neck. "Well, come out anyway. We can sit together."
Together. You liked the sound of that.
Without wasting more time, you promised him two minutes and scurried out of your room to round to the back door. The campfire crackled on your side of the lawn, rather than the middle of the properties this time, and Kevin tended to it on one of the two foldable chairs present.
You took a seat in the open seat. "S'mores?" You chuckled, noting the basket of ingredients at his feet.
He ducked his head. "Yeah," he loosened a laugh, "I thought I'd make you a s'more this time."
It was just a s'more, and yet, here was the organ in your chest palpitating in your chest. You didn't reject the s'more, of course, and watched him skewer a marshmallow and hold it over the blazing embers. As he did so, you caught the way his other hand fidgeted with your bracelet on his wrist, how his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. Was he as nervous as you were?
The thing, Yn.
"There's something I—" You both stopped short at your simultaneous words. They were the same, too, and had the pair of you fumbling.
"You first," you said, gesturing to him.
He hummed and tried for a smile. "Do you remember that night in sixth grade when we made the pact?"
You nodded.
"It was kind of like this actually," he mused. The marshmallow had browned into a beautiful gold, and you reached into the basket to help him assemble the chocolate and graham cracker pieces. Your fingers grazed his as he squished the outer crackers together to hand it to you. "A late night, s'mores, the campfire."
You took a chunk out of the s'more and swallowed before adding, "Seems like so long ago."
"Right?" He slipped the metal skewers back into the basket and leaned his arms onto his knees, body angled toward you. "The pact, I…" He considered his words as they melted on his tongue like the chocolate and marshmallow on yours. "I wanted to ask if you would think about another amendment."
You met his eyes now. The burning fire reflected in his dark irises, warm and bright. "An—an amendment," you parroted. Was this what you thought it was? You finished off your s'more, hoping not to choke when he told you whatever he wanted to tell you. You suddenly wondered if the s'more was just to soften the blow.
Kevin nodded. "Yeah, another amendment. We didn't really discuss the biggest part of the original pact when we made the rescue protocol."
"The 'just friends' clause," you finished, breathlessly.
"Yn, I don't wanna be just friends anymore."
It didn't hit you at first. You swore the ash from the fire was making you hear things, but it hit you, milliseconds later. "Oh."
He pursed his lips for a moment. "It's taken me a stupidly long time to come to this conclusion, and I was thinking about what we were talking about the other night—about if we were ready for relationships. And I said that maybe the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was someone I already met.
"Yn, I think I'm in love with you," he said. "Not just in a way that friends love each other, but something… something more. And I wanted to let you know because—if I'm being completely honest—I want to share everything with you."
You could feel the way your lips curled upward and your heart soared. "I wanna share everything with you, too. And I don't know how long I've sat on this, but what I do know is that I feel so much for you." Every admittance that was released into the night air like sparks flying was another card laid out between you two, face up. "This place, the lake, has been my place, Kevin. But I want you to be my person."
He smiled at you, sweet and boyish, the type of smile that made you feel on the edge of seventeen. He helped you out of dark places with that smile; he was always showing you the light. "Your person," he murmured, letting that sink into his tongue and be familiarized with it. "I would love to be your person, Yn."
Your hand found his across the gap between your chairs. His thumb caressed over the side of yours, and he tucked his other hand over top until you were enveloped in his clasp—safe and sound.
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When the fire was reduced to nothing more than ash and memory, you and Kevin raced each other down to the water's edge. The lake was stilled beneath the moonlight, a pool of silvery mercury. You reached for his hand again and intertwined your fingers firmly, a comforting weight and hold.
It felt right.
"So since we made an amendment to the protocol again," you started as he swung your laced hands between your bodies, "we need to seal the deal."
A grin bloomed on his face, and he bit his lip. "Hear me out," he drawled. "Maybe we should update the seal, too."
You narrowed your eyes in jest. "You just don't want me to flick your forehead."
"Sue me, you flick hard," he laughed.
"But shoot."
He licked his lips and turned to face you. "Can I show you?"
Your heart gave one big lurch as he leaned over to you. You closed the rest of the distance and sighed something happy at the feel of his lips against yours. It was gentle and brief, his mouth parting from yours to give you enough room to back away.
You could feel your twin smiles. "I kind of like it."
"Yeah?" He hummed. "Well, that can be our practice round."
You shook your head and threw your arms around his neck to pull him back over to you. His arms curled around your middle, hands pressed to your sides and holding you close.
When you broke apart this time, his warm chuckle ran a delicious bolt of electricity down your spine. "I know things are gonna be different now… But we got this."
It was the way he looked at you—the one that assured you he was the same Kevin he was three years ago and beyond; the kid who broke the swing set when you challenged him to a bet; the kid who sketched butterflies in meadows, and now sketched you in the firelight; the kid who would never judge you or ridicule you for your feelings, but validate them, always. You didn't know how you were so blind to it before.
It wasn't so scary anymore, not when you knew he would be there with you.
"Yeah," you said softly, running your thumb down the back of his neck, "I'm not really worried."
He let out a breathy laugh, and it coaxed one out of you, too. Kevin pressed his forehead to yours, pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, pressed his heart to yours.
Some things really were just meant to be.
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a/n: now the question is how are they gonna tell their moms... 🤡 if you enjoyed, pls remember to reblog, or comment, or send in an ask!! thanks for reading :] see you in at your convenience!
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr @kflixnet
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stealanity · 2 months
Text
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playlist one , the boyz ( lsg to kvm ) :
ꕤ lee sangyeon ,
someone
[ 7:02am ]
[ 5:12pm ]
[ 6:14am ]
ꕤ bae jacob ,
summer love
birthday cake
melatonin
co-lover
white lily
ꕤ kim younghoon ,
corny jokes
reassuring hands
kinda miss you
i didn't forget
[ 1:02am ]
[ 2:45am ]
ꕤ lee hyunjae ,
suffocating ( written serie , discontinued )
this special look
stay
waffle
loser, lover
crazy
too late
only for practice
[ 9:32am ]
[ 4:35pm ]
[ 10:37pm ]
ꕤ lee juyeon ,
his s/o waking up in the middle of the night
cute little intruder
bad day, but good boyfriend
daydream
terrible idea
the bet
cold hands
risky
sick of you
[ 5:34pm ]
[ 10:45pm ]
[ 7:52pm ]
[ 8:57pm ]
ꕤ moon kevin ,
bad words
the little prince
[ 3:37pm ]
[ 11:23am ]
. . . link to maknae line !
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slytherinshua · 2 months
Text
SHUT UP, BRAIN
genre. hurt/comfort. warnings. kevin has some thoughts and insomnia. pairing. kevin x reader. wc. 745. request. no. a/n. i love him so much he deserves the world hes so sweet and perfect :(
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When you stirred from sleep from the unmistakable chill and loud rustling in the room followed by a hushed curse, you knew Kevin had struggled to fall asleep again. You were exhausted, but you knew it was probably even worse for him. He never seemed to show how tired he was, but you could sometimes see it in his eyes, especially when the lack of sleep built up over time.
You forced your eyes open, pulling the blanket closer over your body to help with the shivers. Without Kevin’s body warmth, you always felt a constant chill, no matter how many blankets you piled on top of your body. It just wasn’t the same as being wrapped up in his arms.
“Kevin.” You called out, rolling to the other side of the bed to locate where he was in the room.
“Hm?” He answered immediately, turning around to meet your tired eyes. This same routine had happened so often that he had learned to not feel bad about waking you up because he couldn’t sleep. You really didn’t mind, you just wanted him back in bed cuddled up next to you.
“Cold.” That was all you could muster out in a tired whisper. Thankfully, it was all Kevin needed to know that you wanted him back under the covers. He shuffled over sheepishly as you opened up the blanket for him to crawl under with you.
You sighed as soon as you were able to wrap your arms around his body and could feel the warmth that washed over you almost immediately. You rested your head back on the pillow and watched Kevin’s eyes drift to the ceiling, blinking several times, but never falling down to look at you.
“You thinking about something?” You asked quietly.
You heard him sigh. He took a while to respond, but you didn’t rush him. You focused on the little skin exposed on his chest from his pyjama top, drawing little circles on the spot to relax him.
“Just… us, I guess. Thinking about everything, but mostly just you… and me.” His eyes flickered to you for a split second before settling back on the ceiling. 
“What about us?” 
“Are you tired of this?” The question was filled with worry, and you knew that ‘this’ referred to more than just what your mind immediately jumped to.
“No. Are you?” 
“No… but I still feel bad.”
You understood what he was feeling. It was almost impossible not to feel some frustration with the sacrifices you both had to make just to be able to date each other. It was hard, but it was worth it. You just had to reassure him of it at times.
“I know, Kev. You know you make me really happy, though, right?” The way you said it was almost like a promise to him; a promise that he would always make you happier than anyone else. 
“I know I do, I just wish I was able to do more, you know?” You hummed, trying to fight back a yawn and listen to everything that was plaguing his mind, but it slipped past you before you could stop it. 
“I’m sorry, I know you’re tired. I’ll be okay. You can go back to sleep.” He turned on his side, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Will you be able to sleep?” You pulled him just a bit closer, craving more of his body warmth and comforting embrace.
“I’ll try. If I can’t, I promise to still keep you warm.” He smiled fondly at you as you got comfortable again, adjusting the blankets to cover you properly and shuffling your head on your pillow.
“I love you.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and letting the tiredness wash over you in waves. You felt Kevin’s lips press against yours, but it was soft and fleeting, only lasting for a second before he pulled away.
“I love you too. Sorry for my brain.” He whispered back.
“I love your brain, too. I just wish it was nicer to you.” You said, half asleep at that point. You couldn’t see Kevin’s half-hearted smile, but you felt him pull you even closer until your head was resting on his chest instead of the pillow. The last gesture assured your brain that you could really fall asleep again. Kevin always slept better the closer he was cuddled up to you, so you had hope that sleep would finally grace him as well.
↳ tbz taglist: @eternalgyu,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien
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dlrvuio · 10 months
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Kevin bf texts, please 🥹🩷
bf!kevin random texts
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genre - pure fluff, bf!kevin x gn!reader
warnings - none
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2023 | please do not copy, repost, or claim my work
reblogs, likes, and comments are appreciated
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stupidkyupid · 5 months
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𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 : 𝗌𝗆𝖺𝗎 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 !
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : the start of a fresh semester at barden university marks the continuation of a century-old fued or, in other words – the showdown between the treblemakers and the bellas.
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!theboyz x fem!oc
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : smau, pitch perfect au, romance, humour, drama, fluff, angst, college au
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : ongoing
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 + 𝐚 / 𝐧 : instead of using y/n i decided to give each oc a name and face claim to make it easier to navigate between each story! the foundation of most of the pairings where they’re both involved in accapella has an enemies to lovers and forbidden love aspect to it due to the rule bellas have to not engage in any sort of romance with the treblemakers, however the amount of this that is prevelant will depend on the characters and how much they actually care about the ‘rules’! also, whilst i’ll give more detailed disclaimers at the beginning of each mini series, i’m just going to establish that there will be sex references throughout this, in true pitch perfect fashion. the whole accapella thing is more of a subplot, it’s a big part of the characters and their personalities but this will also heavily focus on college life as well as romance. i’m aiming for each member to have a 20 part story! i’ll also be aging the members down to college ages!
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𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 - 𝖨’𝖫𝖫 𝖬𝖠𝖪𝖤 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖢𝖱𝖸 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!leader!sangyeon x bella!leader!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : grumpy x sunshine
the treblemakers and bellas have earned the reputation as the montagues and capulets of the a cappella world for as long as anyone can recall. it's safe to assume that the leaders of each group would be in constant conflict, or at least that's what gyulmi believes is the most reasonable course of action. however, sangyeon couldn't care less about conforming to these social norms and opts for a diplomatic approach towards his arch-nemesis. but can he maintain his composure when gyulmi responds to his kindness with nothing but anger?
𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐁 𝐁𝐀𝐄 - 𝖫𝖠𝖣𝖨𝖤𝖲 𝖭𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : tutor!treblemaker!jacob x player!bella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : opposites attract
all dalny has ever known is romance; however, it has never taken the form of a conventional, long-term, exclusive relationship where the phrase 'i love you' is frequently uttered. in fact, quite the opposite is true. her life revolves around romance, yet she has never experienced love. one might describe dalny as a player, a title she proudly wears, until she started interacting with jacob bae during their tutoring sessions. somewhere along the way, she began to yearn for something more profound than just non-committal kisses from her supposed enemy.
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 - ’𝖳𝖨𝖫 𝖶𝖤 𝖬𝖤𝖤𝖳 𝖠𝖦𝖠𝖨𝖭 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!younghoon x student!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : forbidden love
dasom and younghoon have always been familiar with each other. it isn't surprising, considering dasom had dated his older brother on and off for several long months just a year ago. needless to say, the relationship didn't end well, leading dasom to flee to barden university instead of continuing with the toxic cycle. so, during her fresh new start, the last thing she expected was to encounter younghoon, the younger brother of her haunting ex. however, what surprised her even more was finding comfort within his presence, rather than harboring resentment towards the figure from her past and how she can’t help but attend his performances, unable to stay away, yet troubled by the forbidden nature of their connection.
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐀𝐄 - 𝖯𝖴𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖭’ 𝖭 𝖯𝖴𝖫𝖫𝖨𝖭’ !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!hyunjae x newbella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : friends with benefits to lovers
nari and hyunjae have been entangled in their so-called mutually beneficial arrangement for nearly a year now. it's a classic case, really, a 'friends with benefits' situation where the only rule is to avoid catching feelings. nari sees herself as skilled in detaching herself from her emotions, but that facade becomes harder to maintain when her best friend coerces her into joining what she dubs 'the dumb world of a cappella' as a last-minute recruit for the bellas. suddenly, her carefree nights with hyunjae evolve into passionate escapades, and the forbidden nature of their relationship sparks new emotions. what did she expect? she's sleeping with the enemy, and history shows it never ends well.
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐉𝐔𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 - 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖥𝖮𝖮𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖧 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!juyeon x bella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : exes to lovers
high school sweethearts – it's nice while it lasts, but that's often the case with most things. you cherish something or someone while you have them, but the moment they slip from your grasp, love can quickly turn to hatred. seulki and juyeon could certainly tell you all about this, provided you can endure hours of angry rants and lovesick glances. in short, seulki hates lee juyeon, and juyeon hates sim seulki. they both vowed never to speak again, but that's practically inviting the impossible when their beloved acappella groups seem to constantly be all up in each others faces, something the two of them seem to excel. it didn't take much for another cliche to emerge, where the lines between love and hate start to blur.
𝐊𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 - 𝖧𝖤𝖫𝖫 𝖨𝖭 𝖧𝖤𝖠𝖵𝖤𝖭 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!kevin x producer!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : brothers best friend
june has always had a keen interest in the world of music, not as the center stage performer, but behind the scenes, making the music that's loved by many. so, when she's offered a position at the campus radio station, she's thrilled to accept. however, there's a catch: Kevin, her older brother Jacob's best friend, also works there. Jacob had specifically cautioned her not to get involved with Kevin due to his familiarity with the clichés. but how can she adhere to her brother's advice when Kevin's presence becomes a constant part of her daily life, making it difficult not to form an attachment to someone she spends hours with every day? now, the second challenge arises: how should she break the news to Jacob about her relationship with his best friend?
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐄 - 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖥𝖮𝖮𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖧 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!chanhee x bella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : rivals to lovers
chanhee and seolya have been in constant rivalry for as long as anyone can remember, or in other words, back to the very beginning of their first semester when they both achieved identical scores, earning them the joint first-place position in their class – a title neither of them was willing to accept. from that moment on, they became sworn competitors, turning every aspect of their lives into a contest. if seolya enrolled in an extra class, chanhee would eagerly sign up as well, ensuring he arrived five minutes earlier each day. if chanhee joined an a cappella group, seolya would join an acapella group. the concept towards their supposed hatred is simple really, pure competitiveness, a need to always be first. little do they realize that, in their quest for victory, they'll end up placing each other above all else.
𝐉𝐈 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 - 𝖲𝖳𝖴𝖯𝖨𝖣 𝖢𝖴𝖯𝖨𝖣 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!changmin x matchmaker!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : best friends to lovers
oreum and changmin have always been inseparable, a bond as old as their earliest memories. it's as if they're joined at the hip; she faithfully attends all his shows, tirelessly crafting new signs, each attempting to be better than the last to show her support, and he's a constant presence, patiently listening to her excited rants about the latest couple she's helped bring together. you see, oreum has a unique talent for matchmaking, but little did she know, her efforts to find a special someone for changmin would unearth her own hidden emotions. as she embarks on the journey to find love for her best friend, her well-intentioned plan takes an unexpected and bittersweet turn when she realizes her own heart is at stake.
𝐉𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 - 𝖳𝖠𝖫𝖪 𝖳𝖮 𝖬𝖤 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!haknyeon x bella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : secret admirer
chowha is a rule follower, she'll do anything to abide to what's expected from her and perform in a way that doesn't leave room for criticism. it's needless to say that she took the vow "i promise to never engage in any romantic relationship with a troublemaker, or else my vocal cords will be torn out by wolves" quite seriously. thanks to her unwavering self-discipline, she didn't respond well to romantic advances made by haknyeon, a treblemaker, especially when they were made publicly. however, chohwa soon found herself delighted by the daily letters received from her secret admirer, eagerly awaiting the moment they would reveal their identity. now, what's a goody two shoes like chohwa supposed to do when she realizes she's been breaking the rules for months and has enjoyed every moment of it?
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎 - 𝖬𝖸 𝖲𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖲𝖥𝖠𝖢𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!sunwoo x student!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : fake dating
it's quite unfortunate, but following nayoung's breakup with a member of the high notes, she ended up being branded as the "campus' designated acapella groupie," as if that even exists. true to her nature, she decided to counter the groundless rumors created by her spiteful ex, with the assistance of her good friend sunwoo. nayoung was quick to convince to convince him into playing the role of her new boyfriend, although it didn’t take him long to get on board with the idea, much to her disappointment, as she had a whole speech prepared for the occasion. now, all that remains is to witness that smug smile on her ex's face fade away as he witnesses her embracing her newfound title, which seems straightforward enough, were it not for unexpected emotions entering the equation
𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐎𝐇𝐍 - 𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖬𝖤 𝖴𝖯 !
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : treblemaker!eric x bella!oc
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 : he fell first, she fell harder
the bellas and the treblemakers don't mix. sure, feifei has witnessed her fair share of fellow bellas sneak around with treblemakers to the extent that it's now more of a norm than a forbidden union between the two groups. however, feifei remains indifferent. she joined the bellas to sing, not to be part of a cliché romeo and juliet-like love story. so, when eric initiates his pursuit of her, she'll go to great lengths just to make him shut up. eric's advances are relentless, almost bordering on being stalker-like, yet there's a certain sweetness to them, even if she'd never admit it. feifei is stubborn, but can she truly ignore eric's constant declarations of love, even though their interactions are scarce? what can she say? curiosity killed the cat.
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comments and reposts are appreciated + my asks are always open!! i’m soso excited to start this omg
𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! (𝗈𝗋 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇!) | 𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 !
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 (𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋):𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗃𝖺𝖾 | 𝗃𝗎𝗒𝖾𝗈𝗇 | 𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗒𝖾𝗈𝗇 | 𝗃𝖺𝖼𝗈𝖻 | 𝗍𝖻𝖺!
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milkybonya · 2 years
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summer time !_tbz kevin
-.- tbz kevin x gender neutral reader
-.- birthday fluff! established relationship c:
-.- your birthday lies on the edge of where summer begins, making it Kevin's favourite day of the year ^-^ so you spend the day having a picnic at the beach :")
🥛: this is my (belated) gift for anon who had a birthday on the 23rd of june ♡ i'm sorry it's late :( but thank you for being with me on this site and i hope your day was as lovely as you are ♡
--happy birthday to you!!♡--
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"y/n c'mon! you can't come to the beach and not even dip your feet in the water!" Kevin whines, taking your reluctant hands in his and guiding you to the water.
he giggles as you complain about how hot the sand is until your feet meet the water.
"nice, right?"
you respond with a smile and a nod, and Kevin twirls you around in his arms. both of your laughters meet and echo. it feels like you're flying up in the sky as the water splashes around in slow motion and all you can see is Kevin's eye smile.
then he stops suddenly, pressing his forehead to yours.
"thank you for being part of my life, y/n. happy birthday," he says before quickly pressing his lips to yours, then running away.
you chase after him, demanding he take responsibility for the kiss and your speedy heartbeat. when you finally catch up to him, the two of you fall on the ground, yelling as the cold water hits you.
"i love your birthday, y/n. it's warm and we can come to the beach. you're literally my summer," he says, looking at his hand holding yours in the water.
you don't know what to say in reponse so you just shuffle closer and rest your head on his chest. he squeezes your hand tightly under the water, knowing you return each and every one of his feelings for you.
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loverseon · 19 days
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SOUL SWAP .ᐟ masterlist coming soon ᯓ★
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pairing female reader x ???
genre royal au, fantasy, kinda mystery ish
synopsis you wake up in a bedroom thats not your own. curtains that arent your own, bed thats not your own. a life thats not your own. no one around you seems to take you very seriously when you try and explain that youre… not exactly who they think you are. but hey, who are you to complain when everywhere you look theres a handsome man who wants you?
word count tbd (around 30k+)
warnings angst, fluff, themes of death, suggestive (tbz being sexy what can i say) cursing, slow burn, gradual pairing reveal, will add more tags as we progress
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teaser one moodboard playlist
part i. the dream of the golden bedroom
part ii. the hero of the first water
part iii. the saviour of the fallen
part iv. the master of the wild
part v. the commander of the gods
part vi. the ceremony of the conqueror
part vii. the end of the beginning
part viii. epilogue: the princess of stars
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a/n shakes u by the shoulders ohhhh its happeninf its happeningg
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lovesickheize · 1 year
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𔘓 sex with the boyz based on tarot . . .
maknae line version ( kevin new q haknyeon sunwoo eric )
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kevin moon:
really hot and sudden sex, an amazing sexual partner, understands his s/o's needs and desires and is up to bring them in the sheets if that makes them happy.
probably likes to top/dom.
mutual masturbation.
any lack of confidence (either his or his s/o's) will disappear. worshipping/praising. needs constant validation.
amazing aftercare, definitely sweet and funny.
gets jealous easily
looking for his true soulmate
choi chanhee (new):
lots of good sex, bringing new kinks in the sheets, creative sexually and doesn't mind if things don't turn out the way they are supposed to. experimentalist.
into one night stands. not very selective when it comes to partners (prefers strong and powerful ones), prone to infidelity, risk taker. not good for any long term deal.
probably has a dark secret or experience that made him act the way he does, related to him becoming a part of someone's happiness feels like a loss of freedom.
sweet lies and "darker seductive side" definitely heighten libido.
extreme passion and lust.
constantly looking for people to satisfy his needs, has probably turned into an addiction.
feminine energy, probably a sub/bottom.
ji changmin (q):
something abt it confuses him, but he is filled with good energy and ready for anything.
trust issues / intense jealousy. jealous/angry sex
passion, lust, dazzling in the sheets.
HIGH SEX DRIVE. continually on the lookout for others to help him satisfy this need of his.
cozy, prefers indoors sex, not really into exhibitionism.
sensuous, generous and will take care of his s/o's sexual needs and desires.
willing to put time and effort into understanding his s/o's needs, but finds it difficult to show his true feelings/kinks or own needs. likes giving more than receiving.
adventurous, experimentalist.
needs changes every now and then. 100% switch. can be full on vanilla one day and full on bdsm the next. otherwise he gets bored easily.
ju haknyeon:
isn't exactly sure about what he wants/likes, seems a bit inexperienced.
he still doesn't feel ready to go all in. he feels the need to take some time to think abt his likes and dislikes, what he is okay with and what he's not.
imaginative in the bedroom, and ready to play along with his s/o's fantasies, as long as they are not extreme.
romantic dates are often following by romantic sex. he isn't having sex, he's making love.
he might have been into one night stands for a while now, but he realised they don't really help him evolve sexually and emotionally.
he feels the need to spice up things, he's bored. however, he is still carrying his ex-partner's negativity and bad energy. he's not confident in the sheets anymore, might feel unloved.
he needs to feel loved and appreciated during sex. kinda surprised when he realises people are sexually attracted to him. into praising and body worship (mostly receiving).
kim sunwoo:
100% dominant & raw.
a lot of unachievable sexual fantasies and desires. sexually at a dead end; doesnt know exactly what or how he wants it. might be an experimentalist.
seeking for something prohibited, something exciting that's not allowed to be done. may be an exhibitionist.
threesomes!
stains ur mind. sex w sunwoo is a once in a lifetime type of experience (not bcz he is an idol, but bcz it's rare to find people as sexually active and excited as him).
hiding passion/desire bcz hes scared of norms. might be linked to a sexual trauma or a sexual experience he would rather forget. has certain sexual fantasies but is too shy to express them in a relationship.
sex filled with passion. teenager-like sex with great stamina. sexual adventures with a fun-loving person.
kinky ASF. is in search of someone that can spice up his sex life as much as he needs & make him confident. might be a sadist.
sometimes forgets to do basic stuff to get his s/o ready for what's abt to happen, hes too caught up and crazy-horny, gets right into the main thing.
might cheat. he is not fully emotionally available, might be up for an open relationship, cannot stand being repressed and values sex more than the romantic aspect of the relationship. he WILL cheat/break up if his sexual needs arent satisfied.
sohn youngjae (eric):
good energy, great sexual encounters.
might introduce something new into your sex life. exploring new fantasies and successfully taking them to the next level. experimentalist.
open to fresh ideas but has to talk abt them before practicing them.
he won't let you have bad thoughts about your appearance. is probably into body worshipping and praising (giving & receiving).
great balance: stability and nurturing energy. absolute harmony, great creativity. slight boy energy, but can go into dom mode rlly quickly. basically 100% switch.
angry sex & letting frustration go this way. probably gets jealous easily, likes marking.
• high sex drive.
i hope you liked my first tarot related post as much as i enjoyed the process<3 any feedback will be appreciated & requests are open!
-lita.
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hcuyk · 30 days
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okay since you're back, may i please request something around 4am with changmin (or sunwoo?) and make it angst or comfort or whatever just because why not thank you my love i'm so happy you're here you don't imagine how much
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[4:01AM]
Not often did you wake up in the middle of the night, yet something felt different. Maybe it was because there was a sudden lump that had developed within your pillow or the temperature in the room had changed, but your dream had slowly faded into darkness. As you adjusted to your senses and reality itself, your eyes fluttered open and caught a glimpse of Changmin in the dark.
Your eyes traced the silhouette illuminated by the moon, noticing his eyes wide and fixated on the ceiling. Unsure of both the time and if Changmin had noticed you, you scooted over to where he was and wrapped your arms around one of his, hugging it close to your chest.
“Why are you up?” you mumbled while tucking your nose behind his shoulder, wanting to remain as close as possible. 
Changmin turned his head to face you, slightly startled that you had woken up, but his parted lips of shock curled up into a warm smile—it was almost impossible to not be in love whenever he saw you. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before shifting in his spot, adjusting so he could bring you into his arms.
“Why are you awake, hm?” He pulled you in close and against his chest, allowing you to snuggle up against him within his embrace. 
“I asked you first,” you retaliated. You gave him an exaggerated pout before having it interrupted with a yawn. He shook his head and laughed at you softly, his arms squeezing you. He then had one of his hands gently pat you on the head, providing a weak attempt to get you back to sleep.
“Just woke up randomly, and I couldn’t go back asleep,” he whispered.
“You better not be bullshitting.” He giggled at your grumble, causing you to shuffle your feet under the comforters and kick his legs when you found them. Changmin then burst out in laughter at your terrible attempt and refuted the action by locking his legs around yours, trapping you completely in his hold. 
Instead of fighting back, your tired state melted against him, but you still glared at him as a threat. 
“I’m not bullshitting, I promise.” Your skepticism made him coo and kiss your nose, watching as your bunched-up facial features began to relax.
“We sleep together?” Noticing your slight worry, he nodded and pressed a soft kiss against your lips to reassure you.
“We sleep together.”
It had taken less than a few minutes for you to knock out, but Changmin was still completely awake. He would play with your hair, tucking strands behind your ear, before his thoughts drifted off once more. He kissed your cheek with a whispered ‘I love you’ before untangling himself from you to glance at the ceiling once more. 
His eyes then trailed over to the nightstand by their bed, and without much thought, he silently pulled out the drawer to take out a small velvet box. He flipped it open to reveal the ring he had bought you and raised it to where the moon was shining, wanting to look at it one last time before officially getting down on one knee for you.
His heart thudded against his chest and fluttered the moment he thought about you wearing it on your ring finger. He smiled and put it away so he could go back to holding you, finally relaxed enough to fall back asleep.
You were his forever, and he couldn’t wait for tomorrow. 
permanent taglist . . . @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp
author's note // first timestamp for changmin! (the other one was unhinged and we pretend it doesn't exist 😭). matty my biggest supporter ilysmsmsmsmsmsmsm thank you for sending this in i hope you enjoy ALSO this may or may not be canon kidult changmin 🫣
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cupidjyu · 1 year
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kiss me awake pt 3
(98 line) when you wake them up with a kiss~
genre: flirty juyeon, a lot of cuddling, sleepy cuddles, slight drunk changmin the night before?? lol notes: changmin biting the other members when he was drunk is the craziest thing I've ever heard of.. hope you enjoyed this series!! soon, there will be a full fic for my beloved #1 fan ~ word count: 1.2k
juyeon
you yawned, staring at the mirror for a minute too long before finally deciding to exit the bathroom. it was early in the morning, really early. you had work that day while juyeon, your lover, had his own day off. you sighed.
you also had an important event that day, so you dressed up quite a bit. when you walked back into the room after touching up your hair, he was still sleeping, curled up all alone on the bed. oh, how you wished to join him and go back to sleep. 
you knew he didn’t like sleeping in so you walked over to him. you leaned down and pressed your lips against his. he stirred in response and he almost immediately knew it was you.
his lips formed a cat-like smile as he blinked his eyes open. 
you laughed, “hi, handsome.”
he was actually cute at that moment, with his messy bed hair and slightly puffy eyes. he turned to you and sat up, rubbing his eyes. his droopy eyes looked you over with a glint in them.
“hey, pretty.”
you shoved him slightly, making him fall back on the bed, “don’t be a flirt.”
“why?” he propped himself on his forearms to look you over again, making you blush. then, he leaned forward and hugged you, burying his face into your stomach. “when you wake me up looking like this, i can’t help it.” 
his eyes were big now, peering at you through his eyelashes.
“okay, okay,” you smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss on his forehead. “see you later… handsome.”
you turned around to leave for the day. but, you paused at the door when you heard his quiet, deep voice from behind you.
“i’ll be waiting for you, pretty.”
kevin
“has anyone seen kevin?” you peeked into one of the rooms. your friend shrugged.
“he said he wanted some alone time so, he’s probably in that room,” they pointed to the door. you walked in and you noticed that he seemed to have fallen. his eyes were closed and his whole body was relaxed on the bed.
you smiled and walked over. 
“hm?” you noticed, that in his hand, his phone was on. he had searched for something on it. you leaned closer and read the words: cute gifts for your s/o.
your heart practically soared and you immediately pressed a kiss to his lips without giving it a second thought. he startled and panicked, looking around quickly.
“hi kev,” you greeted, hiding your shy smile.
his eyes landed on you and he visibly relaxed, “oh, y/n. i missed you.” then, his head whipped to where his phone was gripped in his hands, still on. he hurriedly shut it off before you could see (though you did).
“so!” he laughed nervously. “d-did you see anything?”
“nope,” you held in a laugh. “nothing at all.”
he smiled and let out a relieved sigh. then, he pulled you in so that you were both lying in bed facing each other. he observed your features, smiling sweetly. you smiled back, your heart thumping.
“for your information…” you started.
“i think that a handmade bracelet would be a cute gift,” and you couldn’t help but let out an amused laugh at his shocked expression. his eyes widened and he gasped.
“so you did see!”
“see what?” you looked at him innocently.
he poked your cheek, glaring playfully, “don’t try to act dumb. but thanks for the idea." he winked before kissing you.
chanhee
you yawned, stretching your body after spending so long cleaning the whole place for the guests coming over. then, you remembered that chanhee was working on editing some pictures on the couch, so you decided to check up on him.
you paused when you saw him. he fell asleep, with his computer on the table as he laid out on the couch, his eyes closed and peacefully.
you leaned over and poked his cheek with your finger. he didn’t stir. so, you decided to press a kiss to his cheek, just to test if it works.
and then he woke up.
he peered at you with droopy eyes, “did i fall asleep?”
you smiled with amusement, “what do you think?”
“agh,” he pouted, getting up from his lying position. “i was literally almost done and i just had to fall asleep…” he grumbled.
you waved him off, sitting next to him. you wrapped your arms around his side, hugging him warmly causing him to relax and melt.
“it’s okay,” you simply replied.
“why?” he whined. he glanced at the date. “i’m pretty sure this was due a while ago…”
“yeah but…” you reached a hand up to caress his cheek, turning him to face you. he slightly flushed at the close proximity. “you looked really cute just now.”
chanhee stared at you with wide eyes, completely silent. then, he pushed you away, his ears red now.
“don’t… be ridiculous. you're the one who kissed me to wake me up. you can't just do that!"
you crossed your arms, “i’m being serious. and why not? i love kissing you.”
he laughed shyly, “in that case,” he thought for a moment. “this can wait another day.” he grabbed onto you to lie next to him as he latched onto you like a koala. “i’m going back to sleep.” and just before he fell asleep, he pressed a light kiss to your nose.
changmin
you took in a shaky breath, your eyes staring straight at the bowl of soup in your hands. you were incredibly focused on not spilling it. finally, you made it to the room where you knew changmin was having an incredibly deep slumber.
you placed the bowl on the nightstand. and then you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. he groaned as he slowly woke up. when he opened his eyes and caught sight of you, he smiled tiredly and grasped your wrist to pull you into bed with him.
you yelped.
“you kissed me awake,” he observed.
you nodded. you let out a sigh when you felt him attach to your body in a tight, possessive hug.
“changmin,” you called out.
“hmmm?” he hummed lazily.
“how much did you drink last night?”
he paused, silent for a moment before finally croaking out an awkward, “i drank enough.”
you tsked, “you drank enough to run around and bite eric and i.” you swiftly escaped his hold, making him whine cutely.
“come on, let me feed you,” you urged him. and to your surprise, he happily got up, listening to your orders. he was still sleepy but he looked adorable with his messy hair. and before you knew it, he had flopped back down on the bed with a groan. 
“i have a headache.”
“yes, so you have to drink this.”
“but-”
with one hand, you pulled him back up. he stared at you with absolute awe.
“woah, you’re strong,” he looked at you with lovesick eyes, making you giggle.
but you still shrugged, ignoring him as you began to feed the soup to him. he smiled at you fondly after each and every bite.
“you’re so caring,” he suddenly whispered. his eyes began to get teary as he sniffed. “i love you so much…”
you stared at him in disbelief.
“changmin.”
“hmm?”
“are you still drunk?”
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sungbeam · 10 months
Text
the boyz office au, but you're the ceo
tbz ot11 x gn!reader
2.5k words, assorted headcanons, bullet format, ceo/office au, swear words
a/n: this was for fun and fun to do ;3
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LEE SANGYEON: nothing changes; he’s still the boss
he’s a ceo, but he’s the ceo of another company, not yours
you and sangyeon are actually really good friends, and met when your friends attempted to set you guys up because you were both majorly workaholic (and still are) and were in desperate need of a life
but instead of ending up dating, you both agreed that you wanted to postpone a relationship and focus on your careers first 💀 which is, in retrospect, the total opposite of the reason behind setting you guys up in the first place, but…
what’re you gonna do ig 🤡 you’re both the smartest idiots to ever exist
of course, though, sangyeon does have feelings for you and kinda feels (in)secure because he thinks that if you end up not finding anyone else, that you could reasonably fall back on him instead
plus, everybody thinks you guys are together anyway (“have you heard? yn’s engaged to the son of the lee business conglomerate…”); when people ask him about confirming or denying, he’s very good about replying in a well-mannered way “no, yn and i are just very good friends”, but sometimes he wants to just say “no comment” with a secretive smile and let people speculate (but he respects you too much to do that)
JACOB BAE: the assistant who is not your assistant
imagine the one scenario from that cheesy netflix romcom called set it up, wherein the assistants of two successful ceos attempt to set each other's bosses up with one another, but then said assistants fall in love w/ e/o instead
EXCEPT jacob's the executive assistant of some other ceo who is trying to ~woo~ you (quite poorly, might i add), and he's been tasked with sending you gifts and getting to know you
this basically means he knows you way better than his boss, who is supposed to be the person trying to win you over, but jacob ends up falling for you instead as he gets to know you and what you like and what you are like (and he's just absolutely enamored by your work ethic and compassion and ingenuity and—)
suffice to say that it's really not so difficult to write you romantic cards attached to flowers when he sends them to you, but it's awfully off-putting when he has to put his boss's name instead of his own
(you like jacob so much better than his boss anyway, and whenever you meet the two of them, you send him cheeky winks and smiles because you know)
like imagine the way this man offering to personally deliver today's little gift to your office to escape his work and to see you
AND THEN instead of just accepting the gift and dismissing him, you ask if he'd like to stay for lunch to, idk, "chat about his boss" (he'd just be overjoyed)
KIM YOUNGHOON: brand ambassador
ah, the beloved pretty face of the company—other than yourself (you are arguably a fine face for your company yourself, but celebrity endorsement is never not needed); now that you thought about it, your company did employ a lot of pretty faces…
anyway! kim younghoon's obviously gotta be some big, rising actor star person and he's got the big name, the great smile, the clear charisma, and when he signed on to become an official partner of your company to endorse the product, you were over the moon
because he was your biggest stroke of luck in this realm, and your first, you and he actually got to work very closely in the early days of shoots and branding, up to the point where younghoon became a lot more involved in the marketing than just sitting pretty and smiling on a billboard (he had beauty and brains… hard not to fall for this one)
oftentimes, he would send you invitations to his red carpet events to be his plus one, too. just imagine sharing a limo with this guy, giggling in the backseat as you make funny faces at the paparazzi outside, and then holding onto his arm as the two of you posed at premieres
(oh my god and he would be SO cheeky if people asked if you two were dating smh like lee sangyeon, who??)
LEE HYUNJAE: head of the legal department
oh, you know this man's gonna be a little shitter—but he's also the best in the legal realm, and you couldn't exactly pass up the chance to be represented by lee hyunjae (who could've been the district attorney, but decided he wanted to take on the cutthroat world of business law instead lmao)
okay but please, he probably looks super fine in those crisp, fresh-pressed suits and the thin-wired specs as he takes on the courtroom (did someone turn up the heat…?)
i'm sorry i will move on TT
MOVING ON! you and he have probably been friends for a long time, maybe since high school or college, and so you got to see him rise during his career. he was probably one of the first people to encourage you to start the business, and sat with you through really long nights drawing up contracts and foundations and going through all the red tape
so maybe he's the best friend type, but he knows not only your business inside and out, but also knows a lot about you too
he's probably gotten so many offers to join other legal teams, but he loves the one he's built here and he can't really see himself representing any other company but yours? you yourself don't get into a lot of trouble, but he does find immense pleasure in taking care of anyone who thinks they can mess with you or tarnish your name
LEE JUYEON: vp of human resources
nobody is more equipped to handle the dramatics of hr than our lovely baby boy juyo 🤩🤩
some people might doubt his abilities because of his good looks (pretty privilege or sumn lmao) but he's got a work ethic of steel and a heart of pure gold; you don't trust your new recruits with anyone else but lee juyeon
pretty much everyone under your employ has gone through the hiring process with juyeon and even though he's very soft and charming, he can also be honest enough to cut out anyone who doesn't fit the work ethic the company might require of them (but on the same note, he's also got enough faith to be able to see the good and potential in people to give them a chance)
if anyone's got a problem, you can almost always count on juyeon to help you out
you and juyeon are often seen lunching together to talk about performance management, employee relations, and other associated policies in order to keep up to date with those and up to date with each other, because even though you are boss and employee, you're still good friends
juyeon's also no stranger to the world of brand ambassadorship, and he's one of the people who helped bridge the gap between you and the limelight, especially networking with people like younghoon
and it definitely helps that juyeon is also pretty enough to be on the cover of your company's billboards too 🥴
KEVIN MOON: global ambassador/vp global relations and investment
you didn’t even realize that you’d get to the point where your company was large enough to need to think of global expansion, so kevin’s coming onto the board of directors became a blessing and a huge marker of your company’s success
he’s everything you’re looking for in a global ambassador: charismatic, down-to-earth, creative, diplomatic, fluent in like 20357038 languages (english, korean, japanese, some french, etc.)
you and kevin actually took a trip to a location abroad to a prospective new office branch, which gave you and him lots of time to bond and become familiar with working with one another (changmin was left in charge, and though he was jealous that you didn’t even think to bring him, he was honored to manage the company in your stead; you and the rest of your board of directors met up at the location too so it wasn’t like it was just you and kevin ‘cause that would be… a little too much scandal for the rising employee)
anyway, kevin basically loves travelling and he always offers you this one guest house villa/timeshare he has in the location for you to stay at when you’re in town
like, whenever he hears you're in town, you know he's coming to pick you up in a pair of aviators and a convertible, and treating you to the absolute best the city has to offer
CHOI CHANHEE: vp of finance
chanhee's definitely your stereotypical, run-of-the-mill finance person, and not the Finance Bro™, but like the glasses-wearing, shrewd, calculating, and eagle-eyed excel spreadsheet wizard who doesn't take "impossible" for an answer
well, "impossible" only if it applies to certain financial constraints, but you hired this man in particular because you were confident in his ability to deal with money
and he definitely has not let you down
he's not really outgoing when you first meet him, but once you get to know him and the two of you start working together a lot more often, he starts to open up to you and you get to see more to him than just his smarts and snark
he's actually quite shy and, frankly, adorable, once you get to know him, and it's really fascinating to watch him work whether it's with just his mental calculator or with his extensive excel knowledge (he once did a presentation on excel and navigated the entire thing with just the keyboard and to say you were a little too entranced by his finger movements would be an understatement…)
is shy at first when he receives your praise, but is much more smug when he knows you better later on and catches you staring; imagine he offers to teach you his excel wizarding tricks and just leans over your shoulder and places his hand over yours on the mouse (*malfunctions*)
JI CHANGMIN: the assistant™ (i'm sorry, but are we surprised…)
oh boy, where do we even begin with this one?
well for starters, there are a handful of reasons you decided to hire changmin as your personal assistant/secretary even though he didn’t really have experience in the realm other than some desk job a few summers ago
he’s got an attitude that takes no shit from anyone (similar to chanhee), he’s got an approachable face, but he’s also got the ability to scare anyone off or into doing their work on time
changmin’s a really hard worker, and somehow worms himself into your heart and your office, always insisting that he stay at the office until you go home, too
gives anyone who presents themselves as a threat to his close, right-hand-man standing with you the bombastic side eye and a very scary smile
rip to changmin whenever he’s approached by reporters about your alleged “engagement” to lee sangyeon (very quick to shut those rumors down; even asks if you’d like him to contact the legal department but you brush it off as unimportant)
but besides always being your first line of defense (to be there for you), whenever sangyeon isn’t in town, he’s always your next choice to bring along to fancy galas/events (gives him the excuse to let you see him in a light that’s not just your scarily efficient assistant)
i liken assistant!changmin to the mistresses of kings who protected their positions ruthlessly (except no one in this is inbred and changmin totally wouldn’t poison any possible competition, right… haha right? right??)
JU HAKNYEON: college crush → celebrity crush 😎😎😎
to be completely real with you, haknyeon’s had a crush on you ever since college days when he was delivering pizzas to your neighbor and always saw you either coming in or out of your own apartment
you were always really friendly, greeting him with a sweet smile and appropriate “good morning”/”good night”
he occasionally saw you on campus and knew of your reputation as an ambitious and innovative go-getter, and he thought your energies matched really well
but for some reason, he was always too shy to ask you to hang out (maybe he was embarrassed that he was just the pizza delivery guy, but then again, you never indicated that you looked down on him for that)
he went abroad to go to this really great culinary school though, and eventually came back to open his own place
he had always planned to reach out to you and invite you to the opening, but it’s even greater now that you can both reunite as successful versions of your younger selves
(he invites you to his restaurant often, and always has a table reserved for you; almost always sits down to share a meal with you and catch up like he always wanted to do in college)
KIM SUNWOO: the one new paparazzi guy
he has no clue what is going on half the time to be honest lol but he's been hired, given a press pass, and now has a big boy job. what's the job? paying attention to you! well, it's a little more complicated than that…
when sunwoo majored in journalism, he didn't think that he'd be spending his day camping outside your company building for an exclusive interview with you
he didn't really understand your appeal until he was sitting in the lobby of your top floor office across from a very scary-looking assistant waiting for you to be ready to give him that exclusive interview
he definitely becomes a fan of everything about you afterward: from how you run things to the very way you made his coffee in your office—plus, he wrote one hell of an article on you and he got a great promotion because of you (he still doesn't know what he's doing half the time)
anyways, whenever something about you comes up at his publishing firm, he always worms his way into being in charge of it, and if anyone says anything bad about you, he's one of the first people to defend you
lmao he's also always the one who asks changmin if you and lee sangyeon are an item just to annoy your assistant (even if sunwoo is also secretly hoping that you and sangyeon aren't...)
ERIC SOHN: the intern who spilled coffee on you the first day
i feel bad for doing eric so dirty, but tell me you can also see him rushing down the hall with open coffee cups in either of his hands and he doesn’t even see you coming toward him until he—CRASH!—absolutely destroys the blouse you’re wearing and he’s a total, blubbering mess
he’s so afraid that he’s about to get fired on his first day, because anyone who doesn’t work directly under you believes you’re super scary, but you don’t fire him
he comes back the next day in fear of his life whenever he even hears about you
you bump into him (less literally than before) in one of the break rooms because you ran out of tea packets in your office and you soothe his worries
like literally made him smile and giggle like a school girl until he could look you in the eyes without cowering—
cue the literal heart eyes he has for you now instead of pure fear (he always peeks out of the copy room whenever he hears you coming down the hall so he can greet you)
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