#the classic rock vinyls are almost only songs i know from the show...

[riley-phoenix]

Pairing: Malia X Reader (gender not specified)... Eventually

Canon: Supernatural: Season 8 / Teen Wolf: Season 1

Content: Violence, blood, mentions of murder

Author's Note: -

Chapter Summary: As you introduce Malia to Scott and Stiles for the first time, Scott struggles with the full moon and the upcoming lacrosse game.

Chapter 6: Romeo & Juliet & Werewolves

The sun flooded your room with broken rays of golden-yellow light as you stretched your arms and yawned, almost forgetting that Malia had slept over the night prior. You rolled over to find her out of bed, and inspecting the record collection on your bookshelf. You rubbed your eyes and forced yourself out of bed before joining her.

"Who still has vinyls?", She teased.

"I prefer streaming from my phone, but Dean is more ...technophobic", you watched her pick up one of the albums with curiosity before continuing, "We started the collection when I was a kid and just... kept adding to it".

"What's this one?", She asks, showing you the colourful album she picked up earlier.

"You dont know A Night At The Opera by Queen?"

"I was hiding in the woods as a coyote for half my life; we didn't exactly have YouTube Music". She chuckles, "What's your favourite track?", She asks.

"From A Night At The Opera? Bohemian Rhapsody. Any other answer is illegal".

She laughs, a soft, simple, yet elegant laugh. "And from the rest?".

You start singing the first classic rock song that comes to mind. "Shot through the heart, And you're to blame, Darling you give love, A bad name".

Malia stares at you with a blank expression, not getting the reference.

The look on her face makes you stop short, "Bon Jovi... You Give Love A Bad Name... Seriously!?"

Malia only shrugs her shoulders and smiles awkwardly.

You lean against the wall, trying to think of a song she might know. You pull out a white album from the bookshelf and show it to her, "Pink Floyd - The Wall".

She shrugs and smiles again.

"We don't need noooo educatioooon", you sing, completely off-key.

"No, we really do need education. I haven't done Math in years and I have a test coming up", she says, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh. That must be tough, how far have you studied?".

"None. I hate Math".

You laugh at the sheer nonchalance in her response, "I'll help you study", you insist, without so much as a second thought.

"Oh my god, that would be SO helpful, how about tomorrow in the library at 6?"

"Great"

"Thank you so much *your name*", she says, smiling. A smile that instantly captures your heart and makes you blush.

You make your way downstairs while Malia uses your bathroom to brush her teeth. As you step slowly down the stairs, you notice an impatient Dean with a very particular, very expecting look on his face. His smile is large and awkward and as you step down from the last step, he takes you in for a long, tight hug. "What's this for?", You ask, confused. Dean doesn't answer, he just keeps the same proud look on his face and signals to your un-combed, messy hair. Finally he speaks, "How did it go?", He asks inquisitively. You roll your eyes and sigh as you realise he thinks you and Malia had sex. "We didn't do it", you say stubbornly. Dean frowns, "Really?", He asks, almost disappointed. "Yes", you respond, crossing your arms. Dean scratches the back of his head as the room is filled with an awkward silence. "...Why?". You scoff, "Because we're just friends and she needed someone to comfort her!", You raise your voice slightly louder than usual. "Ooookay", Dean says, raising his arms in defence.

The two of you stand in silence again. Peeking outside, you notice Sam and Cas packing bags into the trunk of the Impala. "Time to go?", You ask. "Yeah... We have to find Kevin", Dean responds. You don't say anything, you just nod your head in agreement and offer Dean a professional handshake, unsure whether you're happy or sad that Sam, Dean and Cas are leaving. He ignores your handshake, pulling you in for one last hug. "Bye, kid", he says as he pulls away. You step outside and say your goodbyes to Sam and Cas, before watching the Impala drive away into the horizon, waiting as it gets smaller and smaller in the distance before finally; disappearing.

A little later, you let Scott and Stiles into the house, ready for everyone to clear everything up. Of course you couldn't clear up everything. Malia had no idea you were the one who turned her human and you still wanted to keep your supernatural identity a secret, but you were curious to know what Scott and Stiles found out after poking around Derek Hale's house.

Stiles appears to be more nervous than usual, and Scott appears to be on edge. "So... what'd you guys find?", You ask. Stiles stutters, "Well... You see... the thing is...", you interrupt him, "Scott's a werewolf, I know". They both stare daggers into you, perplexed expressions on their faces. Malia joins you downstairs and immediately tilts her head down upon seeing Scott and Stiles, still not entirely comfortable with new people. Stiles is confused, "Uh, *your name* we need to talk about Scott's... 'problem'", he says, assuming the stranger doesn't know. "She can help us with that", you inform him. "How?", Stiles asks. You turn to Malia comfortingly, "It's ok, you can trust them", you say to her. Malia lifts her head, and, with utter confidence, lets her eyes shift into their supernatural aqua blue form. Scott and Stiles stumble back in surprise, "you're a werewolf too?", Scott asks. "Werecoyote", Malia says. "Wh-wh-the-WHAT!?", Stiles exclaims. You sigh, "Stiles, relax, Malia knows way more about the supernatural than any of us, if anyone can help Scott, it's her". "I agree", Scott says, nodding his head. "Ok, now let's all sit down and talk about whatever we discovered. Scott, Stiles, you guys wanna start?". They agree, and Stiles rushes you through the details of how he and Scott dug up the body of a wolf in a grave that was surrounded by a rope, and upon removing it, the wolf turned into a girl.

"Wait wait wait, so when you removed the rope... it just turned her into a human?", You ask.

"Mhm", Scott responds.

"...Was it a magical rope?", You ask as you furrow your brow.

Malia interrupts before he can answer. "Was there some kind of plant nearby?"

"Yes... Actually. It was on the grave. And when Scott got close to it he got kinda bitchy", Stiles answers.

"Wolfsbane", Malia says, leaning back in her seat, "its poisonous to shapeshifters and the rope was probably laced in it to prevent the body from turning human".

"This raises a couple questions", Scott states, drawing the attention of the rest of the group. "One: is 'Serial Killer Derek Hale' actually 'Werewof Derek Hale'? And Two: Who's body was it that we dug up?".

"My sister, Laura Hale", Derek appears at the door, startling everyone and promoting you to stand infront of Malia protectively. "And to answer your other question...", Derek doesn't actually say anything, he just lifts his head up high and shines his golden-yellow werewolf eyes at the group. "Are you the one that bit me?", Scott asks angrily. "No... That wasn't me... That was 'The Alpha'". He states.

"The what? ", Stiles asks, very much confused. Derek stares out the window, insuring no one was eavesdropping. "'The Alpha'. There's been an abnormally high number of animal attacks in Beacon Hills recently, and the police are blaming it on mountain lions; but it's not, it's a werewolf... And not just any old werewolf, it's something with a kind of power I've never seen before", he turns back to Scott, "I'm not the one who turned you, 'cuz only an Alpha can turn someone and I'm just a Beta".

"And how do we know you're not the one who killed her?", Malia asks Derek, angering him. "I came back to Beacon Hills to find Laura. And I did- in two pieces. I think it was werewolf hunters. The same ones that burned down our family home many years ago, there weren't many survivors. My uncle, Peter, he suffered burns so severe he's in a coma. This is definitely the hunters trying to finish the job". Upon hearing his story and what happened to his family, Malia lowers her head, slightly embarrassed, "You have no idea what the Hale family has been through", Derek says in a serious tone.

Desperately wanting to change the topic, you turn to Scott. "Here's some good news, there's a cure".

"Really!?", Scott exclaims.

Derek scoffs, "How do you plan on getting the last ingredient?", He asks.

"What is the last ingredient?", Scott asks.

"The living blood of the sire", you respond.

Scott only responds with an inquisitive, confused look.

"It means you need the blood of the werewolf that turned you, while they're still alive", Derek interrupts.

Scott holds his head in disbelief, "Dont worry Scott, I have family that know a bit about the supernatural, they'll get us all the other ingredients, we just need to find whoever turned you and make 'em bleed" you assure him.

"Easier said than done", Derek says.

"I need to pee", Malia says, causing everyone else to look in her direction with bemused expressions.

"So, you gonna tell us where you found a werecoyote?", Stiles asks, as Malia leaves the room.

"Oh, right, that's a long story. The night we went into the woods, I fell down a bank and found a coyote, and then she just... turned into a human".

"On her own?", Derek asks.

"Yeah... All on her own".

"Well where's she from?", Scott asks.

"That's the thing, she doesn't remember anything. We found her adoptive father and had dinner with him but that... Didn't go so well".

"So that's what you were busy with before?", Stiles asks.

"Yeah. And the worse part is he was planning on telling her she was adopted that night. Of course, Malia already knew seeing as how she's a shapeshifter and he's not, but ..."

Everyone stops as they hear footsteps and Malia re-enters the room. "What were you guys talking about?", She asks. "The lacrosse game", Scott says awkwardly. You play along. "Right, that's tonight... And I have the football game". "But Scott, how are you gonna play the game on a full moon?", Malia asks. "I'll manage", Scott replies. "I think it's better if you sit this one out, Scott", you suggest. "I said I'll MANAGE! ", He exclaims, stumbling back while clutching his head and falling to his knees, his werewolf eyes involuntarily shining. Stiles and Malia check on him while Derek pulls you aside. "He cannot play tonight. He's a fresh beta, he doesn't know how to control it. If he gets pumped up after the game, he could go feral and kill someone!". You sigh. "Malia, how do you control yourself on a full moon". "I've never had to", she answers. "I've been in the wild for years". You sigh again, "Any suggestions?", You ask. "We could chain 'em up", Derek suggest. You're offended by the idea. "We're not chaining anyone up", you say firmly. "Actually... That could work", Malia says. "If they're strong enough they should be able to hold Scott and I till the full moon passes". Nodding your head, you look to Derek, "Fine... But I'm watching you".

Later that night...

You and Stiles have just cleared out a room in your house to keep Scott and Malia in while the full moon passes. With the shapeshifters waiting patiently inside, the two of you stand in the hallway. Derek arrives, carrying a heavy duffle bag over his shoulder, "These should hold 'em", he says as he throws the back onto the floor, letting the chains fall out and make a loud clattering sound. Out of nowhere, you hear the sound of a window breaking coming from inside the room. The three of you rush inside to find Malia is still there, but Scott is gone. You rush to the broken window. Noticing a small, human-like figure sprint with lighting-fast speed through the edge of the woods. "That's just great", Derek says sarcastically, "How are we gonna find him now?".

"'Cuz I know where he's going", you say confidently.

"The Lacrosse game".

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Tags: @just-ilde @loveinfinitelyandforever @socially-awkward-eliza @melthedwarf @akuri-shinsou @maliahalefandom @w00w33 @natashapoling @scilessweetheart @supernaturalgirl02 @cactuwus @babypink224221 @7thavenger @wonder-kid-pugh @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

#teen wolf #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fandom #spn #Supernatural #Supernatural fanfiction #spn fandom #malia #Malia tate #Malia hale #malia x reader

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

DORO PESCH Says Her New Album Will Include A Dream Collaboration: 'It's Somebody Everybody Knows'

In a new interview with Brazil's A Rádio Rock, German metal queen Doro Pesch spoke about her upcoming studio album, which is tentatively due this fall. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "There will be a great duet on it. I can't tell you the name, but it's great. It will be with somebody I love. So you guys have to wait a little bit more. The record will come out this year. But it's just in the making. And there's another collaboration which I dreamt of my whole life… It's somebody everybody knows."

Asked what fans can expect to hear on her new LP, Doro said: "Many anthems. Many diehard metal songs. Many soulful songs. And a great, great guest. A great collaboration on one of the songs. And I think this will be probably my second 'All We Are' that people always wanna hear it and sing it. And there's one song for the animals, because I love animals. It's called 'Heavenly Creatures'. And I wanna do something with this song. So that's dedicated to all these heavenly creatures."

She continued: "I grew up with dogs and horses and parrots, and I miss that in my life. That's the only thing I miss. I have no regrets whatsoever, but I would have loved pets. But it's impossible when you're on tour. So I do something else. And I just adopted two horses. But they're not close to where I live. They're actually in a different country; they're in Austria. But they're someplace where people take care of animals. It's so nice. It's a paradise — for people and for animals."

Pesch added that the plan is for her to release her new album on October 27, one day before her 40th-anniversary concert at the Mitsubishi Electric Halle in Düsseldorf, Germany.

This past February, Doro spent time at Miami Beach Recording Studios laying down vocal tracks for her upcoming studio album.

Last October, Doro spoke to Metal Rules about the status of the songwriting and recording sessions for the follow-up to her 2018 double album "Forever Warriors, Forever United". She said: "The new record is almost done. It's like 80 percent done, and there are awesome songs. There are anthems, fast songs, and some really soulful songs. So, I think that 80 percent of the record is already done. I mean, 80 percent of the songwriting is done, and we have recorded lots of stuff. It will be out sometime later [in 2023]."

Asked if her new album will be stylistically similar to "Forever Warriors, Forever United", she said: "Yeah, but it's probably not a double album. The next year is my 40th anniversary as an artist. And, of course, we want to do something special, but it will be a single album."

"Forever Warriors, Forever United" featured 19 regular tracks and six bonus songs.

In September 2022, Doro released a very unique single — a soulful adaptation of her classic metal anthem "Raise Your Fist In The Air". The track was made possible by the new ZDF (national German TV channel) music show "Music Impossible".

In May 2022, Doro told Sleaze Roxx that she does most of her songwriting now with former SISTERS OF MERCY guitarist Andreas Bruhn. "I met him, I think, in 1986," she said. "We've always worked good together. Actually, the new bass player we have in Europe, we wrote a new killer song together so that's a new friendship. It's an anthem. It's good! And I wrote one song with my very first producer from the 'Hellbound' album. We met up again and wrote a nice song together. It's a song for the animals because I love animals. It's called 'Heavenly Creatures'. That will definitely be on the new record I'm planning on putting out next year. Next year, I have my 40th year anniversary so we want to celebrate it big."

In celebration of 35 years of the "Triumph And Agony" album from her former band WARLOCK, Doro released "Triumph And Agony Live" in various formats, including CD, vinyl, cassette, DVD, Blu-ray, and a huge box set, in September 2021 through her own label, Rare Diamonds Productions. The "Triumph And Agony" artwork centered on Geoffrey Gillespie's famous original drawing of the "Warlock" embracing the blonde rock star.

#Doro #Doro Pesch #2023 interviews #metal ladies #metal music

[realwaldojeffers]

thank you! not too much work left for me i hope haha

my first language is russian and i also speak a tiny bit of german! been too long since i practiced it though

thank you for recs on bowie and VU!! i'm far from an expert on them lmao so i'll listen to these albums! i've only listened to earlier bowie albums from the man who sold the world to diamond dogs i think. life on mars must be one of my faves, i remember having it on repeat for WEEKS last year lmao. i dreamed of getting hunky dory on vinyl but couldn't find it in my local record stores :( the same with many other bowie, UV and lou albums too, no idea why they're such rare animals here. a ziggy copy i have must be one of the best sounding records in my whole collection tho! do you collect physical media?

i love velvet goldmine too!! i love todd haynes' style and it really does kinda feel like an ao3 fanfic lmao. this kind of biopics must be my favorite, when they're unauthorized or loosely based on actual stories. do you have any favorite music biopics?

my favorite artists are the beatles and john lennon! and as for the third one ehh.. even though it's not classic rock i'll say lana del rey, ever since her new single came out i've been listening to it obsessively

i see you love beatles too, so i'm just gonna say my favorite albums by them are the white album and magical mystery tour! as for john, my absolute fav of his is walls & bridges, but i guess imagine would be a good place to start as it's his dreamiest and maybe... softest? while still showing some of his edgier sides of the early 70s. plastic ono band is close to my favs after W&B but it definitely can feel too unsettling, not without lighter parts though. his part of double fantasy is full of highlights too (i like yoko's songs too though!) ugh sorry i could talk about john for hours really lmao

and as for lana- since we're into classic rock i think ultraviolence is right up that alley. it sounds so timeless it could well fit into the 70s. my other favs of hers are honeymoon and blue banisters!

i wish i watched more music documentaries and concerts but it's often too hard bc i know i'll never get to experience it live 😭 i've seen the beatles' shea concert tho and it was good! do you have favorite live shows and docs?

Once again, srry that it took me forever to reply and omg it’s almost Christmas lol But I’m excited to finally know you btw

By this time, you probably are done with your work, right? I hope that is the case so you can finally have a nice winter rest

I also try to learn German too cause like I have been obsessed with so many German artists for so long, the obvious one is Nico 😂 and also I love Kraftwerk and Rammstein, but my knowledge in German is limited to the random odd of the language

I’m also a big fan of Bowie early work too, just not so much on his folkish day lol. Still, The man who sold the world gotta be one of the my most fav albums of all time. Hunky is amazing too! Life On Mars is literally one of the song that hooked me on to David. I’m not sure if you knew this but the song Queen Bitch from this album is literally David trying to do a VU-style songwriting. So basically the narrator of that song supposed to be Lou or smth lol So yeah another weird Bowie-Lou Reed fanfic vibe 😂

About Vinyl, all of my fav artists’ records are hard to find here too, except for Bowie lol he is everywhere for some reason so prob a good thing. But no one in Thailand seems to know Velvet Underground or Lou hahaha.

I don’t own much records cause they are tbh quite expensive for me. But I have Diamond Dogs, VU’s debut album, and Lou’s Coney Island Baby on vinyl. All of them are the best things ever! But I do collect a lot of CDs

I truly not very big on biopic but Nowhere Boys is very amazing in my opinion. I love that films very much. I see that you are a big Beatles fans, what do you think about the film? I’m not sure about the accuracy but I think it’s beautiful how they depict Lennon-McCartney friendship.

Omg! I love Lana too! She is one of my all time fav artists and songwriters! Her new songs are so amazing. I’m alway intrigued by her lyrics and the way she expresses them

I haven’t listened to all of the White Albums and Magic Mysteries but so far I love George’s guitar style in the White Album so much that it’s prob gonna be my new favorite Beatles album. Personally, Let It Be is my favorite album by them but I haven’t watch the Get Back doc yet so I might need to do that!

Thank you for your recommendation on John’s music! I have been interested in John and Yoko’s works for sometime now but didn’t know where to start. They are such an iconic artistic present of the past century!

You probably have psychic ability for sure cause recently I just put Ultraviolence on repeat lol. Also it’s just delighted me how she put Lou’s name in Brooklyn Baby >< For Kana, I also love Honeymoon and Norman Fucking Rockwell

For live concert, I think I watched a bit too much Bowie’s live tbh. But I just cannot resist cause his stage crafts are just one of the best and his shows are my comfort place. I think Ziggy’s live and Diamond’s Dog’s live (you can see those in Cracked Actors’s doc) are probably his best. My fav act is the one he did Hamlet with Cracked Actors. But the one that comfort me the most is the Glass Spider tour live tbh. It’s a pretty meh album overall but the live show are so great and late 80s Bowie is like a father figure to me so I come back to that all the time

Not sure if you’ve watched Hayes’ Velvet Underground documentary yet but it’s very good! It could be focus too much on the early years of the band at time and doesn’t go beyond the post-John era so much but still there are a lot of direct history to learn from the doc as it has John and Moe, as well as, everyone who involved with the band and New York avant-garde scene of the 60s. Still, I personally think it doesn’t talk enough about Sterling Morrison and completely dismiss Doug Yule which is a bit sad. But I understand where Hayes is coming from tho, having John as the strongest present of the band as the leading narrative lol. Also the film is a bit pro-John Cale cause well… Lou is dead 😐 so that is a head-up

Anyways, I hope you have a great holiday and cannot wait to know who you are!

Tons of love,

Tawan!

#secret rocker santa 2022 #srs22

[samdyke]

alright losers fess up in the tags, what purchases have you made because of the cw’s supernatural. i’ll start: ive amassed a collection of classic rock on 45s and i just bought a lockpicking kit

#i KNOW im not the only one who has done this shit cmon !!!! fuck me boots crew this means you!!!!! #the classic rock vinyls are almost only songs i know from the show... #kora.txt #spn #also arguably war of the foxes altho i was already a siken fan...my butterfly knife MAYBE can be linked to jo if we’re stretching.... #i own a leather jacket but i cant remember if i wanted one because of spn

[gum-gum-time]

Akira Otoishi relationship/general headcanons

I love... purple rockstar bastard man... SO MUCH💖

As much as he brags about becoming a Rockstar, so far Otoishi only plays in a few local bars. He likes the vibes there, and he meets lots of good people, you included. Most likely meet him after closing time you’d chat as he walked you home.

This becomes a sort of a routine for the both of you every time he sees you in one of his spots. And he’ll see you often, not only because you enjoy the cheap drinks, you’ve taken interest in Morioh's local Rockstar wannabe. After going out and getting to know each other Otoishi will most likely ask you out!

He’ll get comfortable in your relationship very quickly. Otoishi has had a few relationships in the past, but most of them ended quite quickly, so he wants to make the best of your relationship without waiting too long or being afraid of doing something wrong.

Otoishi is very open about his feelings. He’s proud of wearing his heart on his sleeve, so if something is bothering him, he won't hesitate to talk to you about it. Saying that he’s also very proud of your relationship and he won't hesitate to show or say it.

Akira would love it if you played some sort of musical instrument, jamming out and writing songs is his favorite thing to do, and if you're getting involved, he’ll be over the moon. Although if you don’t possess any musical abilities, don’t worry he takes just as much pleasure in writing songs for you and serenading you with his sweet music.

He’ll be all over you if you have any artistic abilities. Akira can’t draw for shit so the fact that you can draw, paint, sculpt, etc. Blows his mind. Otoishi will ask you to draw an album cover for his LPs and he will love anything and everything you come up with.

Otoishi loves kissing you, his kisses border on passionate and messy. He’ll also hold you close while wrapping his arms around your waist.

Likes stay-at-home dates. He likes seeing you in an environment that you're comfortable in so most of the time both of you will be chilling at home, watching old movies, or listening to his extensive vinyl collection.

Akira has an enormous vinyl collection that spans almost every genre, from classical to R&B to rock. He likes incorporating different aspects of music into his songs.

He likes video games. Though he doesn't have too much time to play games anymore, on weekends he’ll boot up a console he got when he was younger and kick back and relax with a beer and some good classic games. His personal favorite franchises are Resident evil and Dungeon Keeper.

#my writing #jjba #jojo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba akira otoishi #akira otoishi #akira otoishi x reader #part 4 #jjba part 4 #diamond is unbreakable

[gabrielkahane]

Heirloom

Short form:

Heirloom (concerto for piano & chamber orchestra) premieres with Jeffrey Kahane & the Kansas City Symphony under the baton of Michael Stern, September 24-26. Tickets are here.

I’ll play a solo show at Rockwood Music Hall on Tuesday, September 28th. My dear friend and colleague, Johnny Gandelsman, will open with a solo violin set. Johnny’s on at 7pm, I’ll go on around 8pm. Tickets are $20 and are here. This will be my only NYC appearance this year!

Applications for Luna Lab with Oregon Symphony are now open! If you are a female-identifying, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming composer between the ages of 12 and 18, and live in Portland or Southeast Washington, please apply for your chance to study for a year with the incredible Nathalie Joachim!

Long form:

Several years ago, my friend Eric Jacobsen started pestering me about writing a piano concerto for my father, Jeffrey Kahane. It was an intriguing (and natural!) idea, but I kept putting it off in large part because I’ve never felt comfortable with large-scale instrumental composition. I think of myself first and foremost as a songwriter, and while I love to write for instruments in the context of vocal music, I feel almost entirely unmoored when voice & text are taken away. But Eric was persistent, and, well, here we are. Next month, the Kansas City Symphony will open its season with Heirloom, after which the piece will be heard in the coming years in performances presented by the co-commissioners who’ve rounded out the consortium: the Oregon Symphony, the Aspen Music Festival, the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra, the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra, and Eric’s Brooklyn-based group, The Knights.

Heirloom is an aural family scrapbook, exploring, in its three movements, a series of inheritances. I’m incredibly excited to witness its birth September 24-26 in Kansas City. You can find the program note I’ve written to accompany its premiere at the end of this email.

The following Tuesday, September 28th, I will play my first concert in New York City since our lives were individually and collectively turned upside down by the pandemic. Most of the evening will be devoted to a new slate of songs drawn from thirty-one composed in October of 2020, the final month of a year-long, complete internet hiatus. Johnny Gandelsman, violinist of Brooklyn Rider, opens with what promises to be a ravishing solo set. Tickets are here.

Lastly, in 2019, I took on the position of Creative Chair with the Oregon Symphony. I’m very pleased to announce that this season, we’ve begun a partnership with Luna Lab, the brainchild of composers Missy Mazzoli and Ellen Reid. Luna Composition Lab offers mentorship and professional training to female-identifying, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming composers between the ages of 12 and 18. We at the Oregon Symphony are incredibly grateful to partner with Luna Lab to offer one student a year-long period of mentorship with Grammy-nominated flutist, composer, and songwriter, Nathalie Joachim, who happens to be one of my all-time favorite humans, and who will be giving the world premiere of Suite from Fanm D’ayiti with the Oregon Symphony in the spring of 2022. What makes this even more amazing is that another all-time favorite human, the violinist Pekka Kuusisto, will be playing Nico Muhly’s concerto Shrink, on the same program. Oh, but we were talking about Luna Lab. If you or someone you know wants to apply, you can find more info & the application form here; you just have to submit one score & a recording (MIDI is acceptable). I will be reviewing submissions along with Nathalie. Applications are due on September 7th.

Obligatory capitalism appeal: I know it’s been a while since I’ve put out new music. It’s coming. I promise. In the meantime, may I remind you about this gorgeous limited edition vinyl record?

That’s it for now, folks. Stay safe. Try to lead with love, even when it’s hard.

All my best,

Gabriel

Heirloom program note:

Tucked away in the northernmost reaches of California sits the Bar 717 Ranch, which, each summer, is transformed into a sleep-away camp on 450 acres of wilderness, where, in 1967, two ten-year-old kids named Martha and Jeffrey met. Within a couple of years, they were playing gigs back in L.A. in folk rock bands with names like “Wilderness” and “The American Revelation.” They fell in love, broke up, fell in love again. By the time I was a child, my mom and dad had traded the guitars, flutes, and beaded jackets for careers in clinical psychology and classical music respectively. But they remained devoted listeners of folk music. Growing up, it was routine for dad to put on a Joni Mitchell record when he took a break from practicing a concerto by Mozart or Brahms. That collision of musical worlds might help to explain the creative path I’ve followed, in which songs and storytelling share the road with the Austro-German musical tradition.

That tradition comes to me through the music I heard as a child, but also through ancestry. My paternal grandmother, Hannelore, escaped Germany at the tail end of 1938, arriving in Los Angeles in early 1939 after lengthy stops in Havana and New Orleans. For her, there was an unspeakable tension between, on the one hand, her love of German music and literature, and, on the other, the horror of the Holocaust. In this piece, I ask, how does that complex set of emotions get transmitted across generations? What do we inherit, more broadly, from our forebears? And as a musician caught between two traditions, how do I bring my craft as a songwriter into the more formal setting of the concert hall?

The first movement, “Guitars in the Attic,” wrestles specifically with that last question, the challenge of bringing vernacular song into formal concert music. The two main themes begin on opposite shores: the first theme, poppy, effervescent, and direct, undergoes a series of transformations that render it increasingly unrecognizable as the movement progresses. Meanwhile, a lugubrious second tune, first introduced in disguise by the French horn and accompanied by a wayward English horn, reveals itself only in the coda to be a paraphrase of a song of mine called “Where are the Arms.” That song, in turn, with its hymn-like chord progression, owes a debt to German sacred music. A feedback loop emerges: German art music informs pop song, which then gets fed back into the piano concerto.

“My Grandmother Knew Alban Berg” picks up the thread of intergenerational memory. Grandma didn’t actually know Alban Berg, but she did babysit the children of Arnold Schoenberg, another German-Jewish émigré, who, in addition to having codified the twelve-tone system of composition, was Berg’s teacher. Why make something up when the truth is equally tantalizing? I suppose it has something to do with wanting to evoke the slipperiness of memory while getting at the ways in which cultural inheritance can occur indirectly. When, shortly after college, I began to study Berg’s Piano Sonata, his music— its marriage of lyricism and austerity; its supple, pungent harmonies; the elegiac quality that suffuses nearly every bar—felt eerily familiar to me, even though I was encountering it for the first time. Had a key to this musical language been buried deep in the recesses of my mind through some kind of ancestral magic, only to be unearthed when I sat at the piano and played those prophetic chords, which, to my mind, pointed toward the tragedy that would befall Europe half a dozen years after Berg’s death?

In this central movement, the main theme is introduced by a wounded-sounding trumpet, accompanied by a bed of chromatic harmony that wouldn’t be out of place in Berg’s musical universe. By movement’s end, time has run counterclockwise, and the same tune is heard in a nocturnal, Brahmsian mode, discomfited by interjections from the woodwinds, which inhabit a different, and perhaps less guileless, temporal plane.

To close, we have a kind of fiddle-tune rondo, an unabashed celebration of childhood innocence. In March of 2020, my family and I were marooned in Portland, Oregon, as the world was brought to its knees by the coronavirus pandemic. Separated from our belongings—and thus all of our daughter’s toys, which were back in our apartment in Brooklyn—my ever resourceful partner, Emma, fashioned a “vehicle” out of an empty diaper box, on which she majusculed the words vera’s chicken-powered transit machine. (Vera had by that point developed a strong affinity for chicken and preferred to eat it in some form thrice daily.) We would push her around the floor in her transit machine, resulting in peals of laughter and squeals of delight. In this brief finale, laughter and joy are the prevailing modes, but not without a bit of mystery. I have some idea of what I have inherited from my ancestors. What I will hand down to my daughter remains, for the time being, a wondrous unknown.

Heirloom is dedicated with love, admiration, gratitude, and awe, to my father, Jeffrey Kahane.

#jeffrey kahane #kansas city symphony #piano concerto #pekka kuusisto #nathalie joachim #oregon symphony #st. paul chamber orchestra #los angeles chamber orchestra #aspen music festival #missy mazzoli #ellen reid #rockwood music hall #johnny gandelsman #folk music #classical music #the knights #eric jacobsen

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Lanterna

Photo by Theo Merritt (c) 2021

Lanterna is the ambient shoegaze project of Champaign, Illinois veteran Henry Frayne, who, in the 1980s, played with midwestern bands including The Syndicate, ¡Ack-Ack!, Area, and The Moon Seven Times. In her review of Frayne’s seventh album as Lanterna, Hidden Drives, Jennifer Kelly noted that, “It hits a sweet spot in the overlap between ambient meditation and propulsive groove.” Here are some of the songs and artists that inspire Frayne.

The Past Seven Days — “Rain Dance”

I joined a Champaign band called ¡Ack-Ack! in 1984 and in addition to learning about group composition I gained access to their mix tape library and LP collection. One song on a mixtape was “Rain Dance,” a curiously long song for a 7" from a band that only released one 7".

A song with a guitar part that is almost all harmonics is stunning. Also, the dark and unsettling drones that hover at the edge of the sonic space (with indistinct voices and the insistent beat.) I’m not sure how many other guitarists it inspired but I have to say I did eventually end up recording a song using only harmonics. After all these years I am hearing the slow fadeout for the first time and those rather discordant notes at the very end.

Tubeway Army — “Me! I Disconnect From You”

My father always returned home from his travels with an LP for me from the places he had visited. In April of 1979 he and my mom were coming back from Europe and meeting me at my grandparents’ house in Riverside, NJ. I had been listening to a newly acquired copy of The Yes Album on an old console turntable when my father pulled out a copy of Tubeway Army’s Replicas from his luggage. He’d walked into a record shop in London before flying home and asked, “What's hot this week?”

One might wonder how this influential piece of vinyl affected me. How many copies of Replicas were in the US at that time? Did I start my own dystopian synth band in the garage when arriving in Maine that summer? Did I flee to the relative comfort of my progressive rock albums (where ironically the Minimoog had been in common use for some years!)? The answer is that Tubeway Army’s Replicas still sounds as mysterious as it did in the parlor of my grandparents’ house all those years ago.

StarCastle — “True To The Light”

My brother’s high school newspaper interviewed the resident local progressive rock band StarCastle in January of 1977 (at the local Champaign Pizza Hut on the U of I campus). My brother brought home the brand new Fountains of Light and I proceeded to put on Side 2 and was met with the heavenly flanged/chorused vocals of StarCastle’s “True To The Light.”

StarCastle were mostly local lads. Three of the members had graduated from my high school a few years before. They were signed to Epic Records at the time and recorded with Roy Thomas Baker (for two albums in one year). A friend delivered papers to their band house and hung out with them when they weren’t touring which was always! It was only in recently years that I’ve realized just how much StarCastle toured. They played with practically every band that passed through the Midwest and beyond in the mid-1970s.And it being the 1970s they thought nothing of releasing two RTB produced albums in the calendar year of 1977!

The StarCastle experience taught me that music on LP records can come from people who live in small towns just down the street from where one was playing Little League baseball.

The Chameleons — “On The Beach”

A blur of sound! It is still hard for me to believe that these songs were recorded in a conventional studio and not just sounds echoing through the glens captured by a bird watcher with a tape recorder in the Peak District.

Giles, Giles & Fripp feat. Judy Dyble — “I Talk To The Wind”

From reading about The Brondesbury Tapes it is apparent that they were recorded on a Revox reel to reel machine with the sound-on-sound function which allowed one to add a new part to an existing track (a function which could be repeated a number of times). This yielded a mono master, but it is in fact composed of multiple performances.

Before acquiring a Tascam 4-track I created songs using a Revox A77. As well as being able to create my first tape echo effects on the A77 it taught me a lot about mixing instrument parts together. It is fun to imagine the folks in Brondesbury Road going through the same process as I did to make this recording of “I Talk To The Wind.”

Blitz — “For You”

Another album borrowed from a member of ¡Ack-Ack!. It was the era of lightly chorused guitar and bass. I’ve always been in awe of the glassy sounding guitars on this track, and puzzled by the haltingly uncertain guitar solo near the end. One can feel the legendary ambience of Strawberry North throughout this track.

The Vertebrats — “Left In The Dark”

Sophomore year at Champaign Central High School a classmate started playing in a group called The Vertebrats. In December of 1979 I was in the audience in the chapel at the Red Herring Coffeehouse in Urbana, Illinois to see one of their earliest shows. The chapel would always sport a very reverberant sound but with vocals, two guitars (one a Fender Mustang favoring the treble pickup), drums, and bass it was an awesome experience. For one, there was someone I knew making this ruckus, in addition to the songs and particularly “Left In The Dark” being instant classics. I’d started seeing rock shows at the local arena the year before but never up close with the band playing at floor level. I had a handheld Sony tape recorder on loan during that time but sadly didn’t take it along to this legendary show.

The Beatles — “Only A Northern Song”

In June of 1974, following afternoon showings of The Seven Samurai, and Modern Times at the University of Illinois, my father and I did our usual rounds to the local new and used record emporiums. Record shops proper, but also The Salvation Army. It was here amongst the discarded shirts, slacks, pots, and pans that I spied the distinctive artwork of the Yellow Submarine soundtrack album. I’d seen the film a few years before when it was first in the theaters, and still had the songs buzzing in my head. Being able to listen to songs from a film at home was a new concept which I was willing to dive into. The band was most certainly not quite right but that was okay with me!

The Wild Flowers — “The Promised Land”

A purchase at Champaign’s Record Swap (still around, now in Urbana at Lincoln Square!) in the Fall of 1984. As was the case with The Sound’s Heads and Hearts, The Quaker would hand me an album from behind the counter and it would go on to influence me for years to come. My favorite guitar, bass, synth, and drum sounds of all time!

Yardbirds w/ Jimmy Page & Jeff Beck — Blow Up (1966)

With a father who taught film studies at the University of Illinois, it fell to him to once in a while check incoming acquisitions to the 16mm film library there. I’m sure that I didn’t see ALL of Antonioni’s Blow Up but I'm sure I bestirred myself from doing my grade school homework when the opening howl of “Stroll On” tore through the Frayne household one summer’s eve.

At the time I had no way of knowing that the chap on stage right was the very same guitarist playing some wicked (heavenly?) acoustic and electric guitar (including a Fender Electric XII) on a certain tune that WLS would be playing every hour on the hour for the next several years.

#dusted magazine #listed #lanterna #henry frayne #the past seven days #tubeway army #starcastle #the chameleons #giles giles & fripp #judy dyble #blitz #the vertebrats #the beatles #the wild flowers #blow up #michelangelo antonioni #the yardbirds #jimmy page #jeff beck

[doomedandstoned]

Iron Man Cement 30-Year Career with Monumental Double Album (+ new song!)

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Review by Billy Goate

This is more than an album. It is more, even, than a portrait of quintessential New England doom metal. It is a testament to the enduring power of music and friendship to bring a collective dream to life and to sustain it to the bitter end.

The new double album 'Hail To The Riff' (2021) showcases 14 anthems by Maryland doom legends IRON MAN. With the exception of one previously unreleased studio song, the bulk of the material was performed live at Castle of Doom Festival in Pagazzano, Italy on Saturday, July 5th, 2014. It was the band's one and only trip to Italy, now being released for the first time (appropriately enough) by Italian label Argonauta Records.

Many of you know the Iron Man story. Founded back in '88 as a Black Sabbath cover band, the guys gradually started playing their own compositions and were ecstatic by the positive reception the original material received. Iron Man released their first album in '93 and over the course of many decades, went on to tour the world with the likes of Cathedral and Pentagram, composing many a doom standard along the way ("Hail To The Haze" will forever be my fav).

"In the beginning, Iron Man had two jobs," guitarist Al Morris told Doomed & Stoned some years back. "First, we were a Sabbath tribute. We were able to headline shows and get people talking about the band. Second, we were writing original music for a demo to shop. Everything went as planned! By May of 1992, we got signed to Hellhound Records in Germany. That kind of history, coupled with the internet, gave us worldwide exposure. The fans did not let us get frustrated! We are totally motivated by our fans. We have them in mind at all times." (Read the classic Doomed & Stoned interview with Iron Man.)

It should surprise no one that Hail To The Riff   is dedicated straight up to Alfred Morris III, who sadly died in 2018. As he was the longest-standing member of Iron Man and its most consistent face, it made sense when the group disbanded after the passing of its founding member.

"The Type of person my father was," Al's daughter reflects, "he never expected anything huge. He just enjoyed doing what he loved. Music was in his blood; part of his DNA and he wasn’t complete without it...As long as I can remember, Iron Man was a large part of my dad’s life, and mine. My first rock show? My dad’s band. The first live show I ever saw was Iron Man. Watching my dad perform, I saw him transform. He had this amazing stage presence. An effortless grace when he played guitar that was mesmerizing. Even though I had seen him play a thousand times, I was always impressed!"

I spoke with Screaming Mad Dee Calhoun in 2018, near the 30th anniversary of Iron man and just a few months following Al's death. "Just on a personal note, I don't think anything I'm doing now," Dee reflected, in reference to his burgeoning solo career, "would have been possible without being a part of Al and Iron Man. Al was very supportive of my efforts outside of Iron Man, be it music or writing or what not. I can never thank him enough for just tapping me on the shoulder and saying, 'Hey I want you to join my band?'" Dee continued, "No one I ever knew who knew Al ever had a bad word to say about him. He was just one of those guys who was a positive influence on people. Once he touched a project, it was better than before he touched it. We certainly miss him.

As a follow-up I asked hnw people could get better acquainted with Al's contribution and really hear his spirit. Dee replied, "Just start with Black Night and work forward. He would want to be remembered by his music. Just sit back and enjoy what he had to bring to the world." That album's title track is no. 13 on the playlist below us, and Al shines just as bright on it here as he did on their cardinal opus. What band could hope for a better life than Iron Man had, with their unlikely success leading them to record five LPs and three EPs, crossing some of the world's greatest record labels?

Hail To The Riff   begins with a cheering throng and the grungy downtuned riffing of Al Morris, to be joined in short order by Louis Strachan on bass and Jason "Mot" Waldmann on drums. At last, Screaming Mad Dee belts out hellfire and brimstone in his scratchy quasi-operatic style (who, it must said, has one of the most intimidating voices in all of metal). "Make some goddamn noise!" The crowd eats it up, of course.

At this point, I'd advise you to make any room corrections you need to, as live recordings tend to be a unique beast all their own. They always sound a little "thin" and "boxy" to me. I found simply turning the volume up a few notches more than for casual listening brought this live recording alive for me. I did not, however, tempt fate by listening with earphones (I'm already dealing with enough tinnitus from my many years of filming live shows).

"The time is here to strike fear. We are Iron Man, bringing you 25 years of Maryland doom!" That really fires up the festival for what would become the band's third and final live albums. If this had been your first time hearing Iron Man, you would encounter a group in top form with accessible songs like "Run From The Light" that capture so powerfully the spirit of metal, itself a kind of freak born of the age of electricity.

Since I don't have perfect pitch, I would be hard pressed to determine just where Al's axe is tuned for this set. Judging from tracks like "The Worst and Longest Day'' and "South of the Earth," let's just say it's low enough to confuse the guitar sometimes for the bass (and when you listen a second time, the bass is often hitting a similar if not lower range). Remind me to ask the guys next time I get a chance and I'll add a note to this article with their answer. I'll be there were a lot of fans that day who were really feeling that Iron Man vibe on a raw, gut level as the sound reverberated through from their internal organs, ultimately grabbing hold of their spine with a mighty grip of doom, and shaking their bones like a rattle.

I've always said the acid test of any band is their ability to pull their songs off convincingly in a live setting. So many things can go wrong, but the way a band bounces through the hurdles of that 30-60 minute set tells you everything. You know right away whether you're dealing with confident musicians who believe it to the core, or wannabes who are fronting a hype machine. To hear Dee make "South of the Earth" work without the cool vocal layering from the recording and still give you chills says everything you need to know about the integrity of Iron Man as a band.

Time for the bottom line. Hail To The Riff   is nothing less than a celebration of metal-making, friendship, and the mysterious power of the riff to compel us -- no matter who we are, what language we speak, or what our differences may be -- to assemble together as a sweaty mass under a hot Italian sun in the middle of summer and revel in the pure love of heavy music. If you close your eyes, you can almost picture yourself there.

Of course, the real treat for Iron Man acolytes is going to be the solemn 14th and final track, "Black Morning." The band recorded it in late-September of 2013, just days before South of the Earth saw its release on Rise Above Records (later on Metal Blade Records, too). Hearing the words and the instruments meet in such perfect execution and conviction brought a single thought to my mind: "These guys really get doom." Long live the ferocity and might of Iron Man!

The album is officially out this Friday on digital outlets, with a special gold vinyl 2XLP available via Argonauta Records. Right now, Doomed & Stoned is letting you revel in it all! So sit back, turn those speakers up, and...

...give ear.

Iron Man - Hail The Riff

Tracklist

The Fury

Run From the Light

The Worst and Longest Day

Ruler of Ruin

South of the Earth

Grown

As the Gods Have Spoken

Hail to the Haze

Sodden With Sin

A Whore in Confession

On the Mountain

Fallen Angel

Black Night

Black Morning

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Debuts #Iron Man #Gaithersburg #Maryland #doom metal #heavy metal #doom #metal #Argonauta Records #Doomed and Stoned

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (12.16-12.22.20):

NEW MUSIC:

After releasing their latest single “That Won’t Save Us,” Against the Current dropped an acoustic version of the track. The video was directed by Jade Ehlers, who also photographed the single’s cover artwork.

Enter Shikari released a new music video for their song “T. I. N. A”., which comes off of their latest album Nothing is True and Everything is Possible. The music video was directed by Matthew Taylor.

Good Charlotte released their first new music in two years, an emotional song titled “Last December.” Their last music was released in 2018 in the form of Generation Rx.

Cane Hill released their second song since becoming an independent band, titled “Kill Me.” The track follows their previous single “Power of the High,” both of which will be featured on what is presumed to be a new album called Krewe de la Morte.

Beartooth released a remixed and remastered version of their second album Aggressive. After selling out on vinyl almost instantly, the new version was officially uploaded to streaming services.

Mayday Parade released a new Christmas song, titled “I'm With You.” The band went on to perform the song live from the Decatur City Church in Georgia.

After releasing their album Sudden Sky last year, Crown the Empire debuted a new music video for their song “Red Pills.” The band recently put out another visual for the song “Blurry (Out of Place).”

The Maine’s John O'Callaghan released a new song under his solo project John the Ghost. The song, titled “Live Once,” follows the previous single “Rolled Down Window,” which was released earlier this year.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Jimmy Eat World announced a new concert series, where they will be playing numerous albums in full, titled “The Phoenix Sessions.” The band will be performing their albums Surviving, Futures and Clarity.

“A Bowie Celebration: Just for One Day!” was recently announced, organized by the late singer’s longtime pianist Mike Garson. The lineup features The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan, Halestorm’s Lzzy Hale, Jane's Addiction’s Perry Farrell and Yungblud.

After performing a livestream of their debut album White Noise in full, PVRIS announced they will be playing their second album in full on January 9, 2021. The album, All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell, was first released in 2017.

To celebrate the 10-year anniversary of their album Hold Me Down, You Me at Six will be performing two special live events. The shows will be held on July 6-7, 2021, at Pryzm in Kingston, England.

Lizzy Farrall performed a cover of The Beastie Boys’ classic hit “Sabotage” during her set at Five4Five Fest. The singer released her full-length debut album Bruise earlier this year via Pure Noise Records.

OTHER NEWS:

Waterparks released a new “pop-up event” educational video for their latest single “Lowkey as Hell.” The informative video is packed with random facts about the band.

After 178 days, Twenty One Pilots ended their never-ending video for their single “Level of Concern.” The video in question recently set the Guinness World Record for the longest music video of all time.

The Teenage Cancer Trust revealed details of a special Christmas raffle. The Christmas Rocks giveaway features prizes donated by Bring Me the Horizon, Don Broco, Enter Shikari, Architects, Bullet for My Valentine and Twin Atlantic. 

I Don’t Know How but They Found Me reached the No. 1 spot on the U.S. Alternative Radio chart. Their song “Leave Me Alone” knocked All Time Low’s “Monsters” off the top spot, which they held for several weeks.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

#sage haley #posi talk #mayday parade #waterparks #twenty one pilots #idkhow #idkhbtfm #against the current #enter shikari #good charlotte #cane hill #beartooth #crown the empire #the maine #jimmy eat world #pvris #you me at six #lizzy farrall

[stfredsa]

META   /   fred  +  music.

tw : death / parent death, domestic abuse.

i’ve often mentioned how hard it is for me to pinpoint a specific music genre / artist fred prefers, and thinking more and more about this i’ve figured out it’s because it isn’t much about music per se, but more what it represents for her. she’s grown attached to certain genres because they represent specific moments in time, but more than that they represent people: and while she tries her best not to think about the people she left behind and how the loss of them is an ever-constant ache in her heart, music is a mostly irrational language, as it transcends rational thought and connects to feeling more than anything, which means it allows her to feel her grief and feel her connection to said people without startling herself. in general, music is the gateway to her feelings: because she struggles to process them rationally, music allows her to be more in touch with them without acknowledging them out loud ( we all know how much she struggles with acknowledging feelings ).

mostly, i think her musical landscape can be categorized according to the influence the people in her past have had on her:

—— ANGIE arguably had the most influence on her musical taste as she was the most constant presence throughout fred’s formative years, and her very first experiences with music happened thanks to angie’s old boombox, on which she’d listen to her sister’s cds either with her or after stealing them from her. the music she inherited from her includes mostly 90s music —— although angie preferred pop music ( she was a huge m.adonna fan and had a soft spot for boybands like take t.hat and b.ackstreet boys ), her boyfriend at the time would often leave records of a more grunge - rock nature around, and those were the ones fred would appreciate the most. they’d have dancing parties to s.pice girls and early b.ritney, and then fred would sneak in her sister’s room and grab as many cds with dark, black and white covers —— this is how she discovered p.earl jam, n.irvana, g.uns’n’roses, s.mashing pumpkins, h.ole, s.oundgarden and l.7. a.lanis m.orissette was an unlikely common point between her and angie, as she embodied both a rock spirit and a pop attitude ( j.agged little pill was the most played album in the summer of ‘95 ).

—— PETER, her grandfather, also heavily shaped fred’s preference for classic rock and blues. he was a woodstock child — he’d been 17 during the summer of love, and though he’d shed most of his ideals by the time fred was born, he would always reminisce about the concert with a special glimmer in his eyes fred would ever seldom see again. thanks to him, and the few vinyls he allowed her to look at, she learned to love j.imi hendrix and j.anis joplin, s.antana, c.cr, j.efferson airplane, the w.ho, n.eil young and the g.rateful dead. the woodstock album was one they’d listen to together, on the floor of the living room on his birthday every year. the rest of his collection was one he was hesitant on showing fred as, he feared, she was too young to listen to l.ed zeppelin or the s.tones, but, predictably, his hesitation only made her more curious. she began listening to those records in secret while he was out working on the fields and there was free access to his turntables. eventually she had a friend of angie’s record the same albums on cassettes for her, and some of those she still owns to this day.

—— PRISCILLA, her mother, has had perhaps the most “ secretive ” influence on fred’s music taste. the artists she ‘ inherited ’ from her mother are those it’s hardest to catch her listening to —— they carry feelings of grief and longing, and the experience of these musicians is inherently tied to the experience of losing her mother. priscilla had a preference for the songwriters, namely j.oni mitchell, j.oan b.aez, tim b.uckley, bob d.ylan, neil d.iamond, laura n.yro, and fred began listening to them the summer priscilla first got sick, perhaps in an effort to connect with a mother that was bed-ridden and forced away from her. 

—— BILLY, perhaps the influence that his most visible on the surface, and the most recent too — something she had to cling to during the darkest time of her life, when listening to music was an experience she was denied ( her husband would not tolerate it in their house and she was barely allowed to have a life that wasn’t within the walls of their house or the motel ). on her breaks at the motel billy would often let her hang around in his car, listening to his favorite records, and from him she took her love of q.ueens of the stone age above all but also a.udioslave, the s.trokes and bands more leaning towards metal like i.ron maiden , m.ötley crüe and m.etallica. of all these influences she carries, billy’s might be perhaps the only one she’s close to aware of —— she avoided listening to any of these artists in the first months after his death, but eventually found that listening to them helped her get in touch with her grief and her unresolved feelings for him. it still hurts, sometimes, but in a way that’s mostly reassuring: keeping him alive, or something close to it, by loving the same songs they loved together.

in a way, these four ‘ categories ’ are also connected to four different sides that characterize fred’s personality, as if all four of these people and the soundtrack they created forged an aspect of her:

angie’s ‘90s pop speaks to fred’s ‘ sexier ‘ femininity, her independence, and also her reckless way of loving, how demanding a partner she can be, how illogical and irrational and unapologetically emotional. priscilla’s mellow songwriters, so concealed and kept almost as a secret, mirrors her softest side, her gentler feminine nature, her vulnerability — all things she keeps thoroughly hiden. grandpa’s rock can be reflected in her adventurous, resourceful side: the refusal to give up in the face of struggle, her belonging to the dirtier, dustier corners of life / society. billy’s influence instead, despite being the music she’ll be most vocal about and claims to be her favorite kind, is the one that’s most in touch with her fear and the darker aspects of her personality, her damage, her misguided anger: the sides of her she’s most in touch with ( or rather, is controlled by ).

#FILE —— maybe i've always been more comfortable in chaos. #HC —— sometimes i feel like an inland ocean. #listen i am honestly rly kind of happy with this #because i've been thinking about it all day and it just. #makes so much sense #like she's been forged by the loss of these four people and because she can't process #feelings like a normal human because they terrify her #the only way she can actually feel the love she had for them #and the grief she has for them #is via a language that hits her at a skin level #and bypasses rational thought entirey #aka music #which explains why music is so fundamental to her ! #because it ... really has sort of become the language of her feelings #long post / #death / #domestic abuse /

[go-go-devil]

If You Have Ghosts: The Story of a Song

This is an informative/personal essay I wrote about the history of Roky Erickson’s well-beloved song, “If You Have Ghosts.” Honestly I should have written & posted this on the 1-year anniversary of his death back in May, but I completely forgot. This piece is mostly a study of Erickson’s original and the band Ghost’s famous cover of it, alongside some other things. I would also appreciate some feedback on this if you all don’t mind.

The information I used as a reference when describing the making of the original song comes entirely from Joe Nick Patoski’s writing on Roky Erickson’s career and the making of The Evil One (included as a booklet in recent vinyl additions of said album).

Throughout our lives there will be songs that capture us in ways that we cannot escape from. Oftentimes it’s as simple as an infectious melody that we refuse to discard from our memories, either due to it becoming attached to a pivotal part of our lives or because we cannot dislodge it no matter how hard we try. Other times it can be something that attracts us so much that we begin to covet it to the point of obsession, and it is through this attitude that the song transforms from merely a piece of music into a piece of ourselves.

“If You Have Ghosts” is one of these songs for me.

What can I say about this wonderful track that hasn’t already been said? It is fierce, yet subdued. It is both hard rocking joy incarnate and a solemn reflection of one’s self, and it says so much by saying so little. The reason for all of these seemingly contradictory phrases I’m using is because this song, unlike many others, is a shared entity that exists in multiple forms. Quite an odd way of stating that the song has been played by more than one band, but hopefully this essay will demonstrate how the meaning of the original piece can mutate into different forms while still keeping its essence intact.

There’s no better place to start than with the original, recorded in 1977 and released in 1981 by rock n’ roll legend Roky Erickson.

Originally recorded as part of a four-song demo of what would later become his first solo record, The Evil One, “If You Have Ghosts” contains many of the themes Erickson presents in his music as a whole. Those of which being: horror-themed esoteric lyrics, high-energy playing, soaring guitar riffs, and a general sense of raw, psychedelic power.

In less than 15 seconds the song has already built itself up and blasted into your eardrums, but never does the melody ever resort to sounding like a wall of noise. Each instrument weaves its sound around each other like some tripped-out embroidery design in order to create a rich tapestry in the listener’s mind. The lyrics are as catchy and repetitive as any of Roky’s songs, yet for this one he sounds less like he’s singing but instead simply proclaiming each line like it’s a definitive statement.

“If you have ghosts, you have everything”

“One never does that”

“The moon to the left of me is a part of my thoughts and a part of me is me”

“In the night, I am real”

“I don’t want my fangs too long”

Barring a few other scattershot words present in the chorus, what you’ve read above is all that you get for what this piece is trying to say. Unlike most of the other songs from the album, whose lyrics clearly convey the story/theme presented, this one does not have a lucid form to it and thus its meaning can only truly be grasped through interpretation. Personally, I always saw it as a proud declaration of one’s deviance from society, with the rip-roaring instruments serving to show how this person’s mind finally feels free enough to run wild in the night, with only the moonlight and their own invisible spirits to guild them.

But of course, all forms of speculation can never undermine Roky’s own intent when crafting this song, which, unfortunately, is not nearly as liberating as my previous presumption…

“If You Have Ghosts” as we know it is a direct product of Erickson’s mental illness. There really is no way of sugarcoating it. After being diagnosed with schizophrenia in 68’, Roky was sent to various state hospitals in 69’, where he was subjected to multiple electroshock treatments by doctors alongside being heavily sedating with Thorazine. Even after he was discharged in ’72 he never fully recovered from the abusive “therapies” he was given, resulting in decades of battling intense mood swings and heavy drug reliance as well as making it difficult for him to record many of his songs in studio.

Roky was under one of these spells whist recording the vocals for this song. He was only able to sing the chorus once, and after recording was no longer able to remember any of the lyrics. Out of all the tracks, Producer Stu Cook had to put the most effort into inserting the vocals into this song using a complex progress called wild-syncing to place multiple takes of audio alongside the instruments without using synchronization. It’s honestly a miracle that we even have this song fully formed in the first place given the circumstances of its creation.

Despite all of the hardship and effort put into creating this piece, for a long while there didn’t seem to be as much appreciation for it compared to Erickson’s other work. Partially because it was not present on certain releases of the album back in the day as well as the fact that Roky seemed to rarely play it live in concert (even on YouTube, recordings of these performances are scarce). As much as I love this version of the song, even I’m willing to admit that if I were ever forced to rank each song on The Evil One, I would probably place it somewhere in the middle. What can I say? When you make an album that great, the competition can be fierce!

For many obscure classics, the story would end there. Yet another buried treasure forever existing in the mind of one musician. But that’s not what happened, for several decades later a new band from Sweden will emerge, different in form but identical in spirit to Roky’s sound, whose frontman will breathe new life into a once forgotten masterpiece…

…Or at least that’s what I would lead into were it not for the existence of this version.

Interestingly, the first notable cover of “If You Have Ghosts” was not done by Ghost but instead by an English folk-rock group called John Wesley Harding & The Good Liars on the 1990 album Where the Pyramid Meets the Eye: A Tribute to Roky Erickson. This now-obscure album consisted of a compilation of various bands and artists covering the songs of, you guessed it, Roky Erickson. There was actually a great deal of artists present on this record, including several well-known musicians such as ZZ Top, R.E.M., and The Jesus and Mary Chain (and even Butthole Surfers too!).

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not at all familiar with John Wesley Harding or his backing band; however, I will say that this piece is a worthy follow-up to the original in it’s own right. It slows down the song to a level not unlike the many psychedelic songs that followed in 13th Floor Elevator’s wake, keeping the main melody in tack while filling in the gaps with many little flourishes as a means of expanding it into something new. I’m especially fond of the echoing effect given to the vocals, which gives the already obscure nature of the lyrics a more outwardly ethereal quality.

Anyway, on to what you’ve been waiting for!

After enduring another two decades of invisibility from the public eye, the song was once again exhumed and resurrected by an emerging metal band named Ghost for their 2013 EP If You Have Ghost. Considering Roky Erickson’s wide array of demon-inspired songs, it’s interesting how Linköping’s residential Satanic metal group chose this piece as opposed to more well-beloved hits like “Night Of The Vampire” or “Stand For The Fire Demon,” many of which work perfectly with the band’s themes of evoking retro horror films and devil worship. It almost seems like they just chose “If You Have Ghosts” solely on the basis of it having the word “Ghost” in it. However, just one listen to this cover will quickly prove otherwise.

Right off the bat, the instruments and vocals are a far cry from the original. Unlike the previous J.W.H. cover that made sure to keep the main melody in tack while adding onto it, Ghost instead chose the more daring option of altering the melody and tempo of the piece significantly. From the ominous drawing of violin and cello strings in the opening seconds to the melancholic metal sound of the guitars throughout (with the rhythm guitar being played by none other than Dave Grohl, who also produced the EP), this version slows the once fast-pace beat of the song down until it becomes almost unrecognizable save for the lyrics. Even Tobias Forge’s singing creates significant contrast with the original; his silky smooth, haunting baritone guiding a melody once held by Roky’s hard-edged yells.

And yet… the spirit still remains.

Although the sound itself has been thoroughly converted to the stylings of Ghost, they still managed to keep the fierce energy that ran through the veins of Erickson’s version, albeit with a twist.

Both songs convey a contemplative examination of one’s mind, with instrumentals and singing that amplify the power one feels from this reflection. However, Ghost’s version differs in that it amplifies the sense of isolation and longing present in the lyrics. The music notably softens at the beginning of many of the verses, particularly lines like “One never does that” or “I don’t want my fangs too long,” only to grow in power through the repetition of each line. It conveys the feeling of the singer having to grapple with these feelings before they can fully accept them.

Nowhere is this more apparent than the band’s acoustic cover of the song.

At this point, the piece has been stripped down to an entirely naked form, its themes conveyed only through the guitars of two nameless ghouls alongside Forge’s vocals (presented here in his previous stage persona, Papa Emeritus III). There is no triumphant shouting or swelling electric guitar solos here anymore, just a somber reflection gently carried by melodic strumming and mournful singing. Despite now being as far from a rockin’ tune as humanly possible, it actually manages to come closest in recapturing the sense of rawness in the original, albeit on the exact opposite scale.

I remember watching a recorded acoustic performance in Paris back in 2015 where Papa introduced “If You Have Ghosts” as being a song about “loneliness,” which is an interpretation I can definitely agree with. In fact, I would even say that with this acoustic cover brings the entire meaning of the song full-circle. Through its peeled-back, unflinching depiction of being enclosed in darkness and isolation, it serves as a perfect end-note for a song that began from such troubled origins by telling the listener that, despite all the hardships, this beautiful piece of music will never lose its everlasting spirit.

Thanks for giving us everything, Roky.

#rip roky erickson #we're gonna miss you baby #I hope you all enjoyed this analysis #this took me a week to write! #if you have ghosts #roky erickson #john wesley harding & the good liars #the band ghost #the evil one #if you have ghost #where the pyramid meets the eye #my writing #music analysis

[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Superposition

a deancas college roommates AU

Dean Winchester had it all at Wichita State University — a second chance, a future devoid of his father, and a roommate-turned-best friend who understands him inside and out.

But his father dies, he fails out in his second semester, and Castiel Novak leaves without so much as a goodbye.

Three years later, Dean has picked up the pieces. He works at the most trusted auto-shop in Lawrence, he’s putting Sam through college. Dean thinks it can’t get much better than that.

Then Castiel Novak gives him a concussion, and everything falls apart. Again.

Chapter 2 is up on AO3 (and below the cut)! Tumblr chapter masterlist here.

Classic Rock and Other Foreign Concepts

Three Years Earlier

Castiel Novak was ready for his second chance. 

Sure, the name “Wichita State University” held no cache, and sure, it was only two hours away from home. But it was a full ride, it was free of old high school acquaintances. It was enough. 

Castiel stood at the door of his empty dorm room, hope blooming in his chest as he regarded the dingy bunks and linoleum floors. 

He didn’t have much in the way of belongings, so moving in was quick and easy, even by himself. Castiel made his bed, hung up his limited outfits in the dresser, and filled his desk with his books and paper. Only one thing remained in his suitcase — a picture of his family, two Christmases ago. Castiel took it out and looked at it for a moment, before deciding to place it on his desk. 

He decided it might be a good idea to familiarize himself with his new surroundings. That was sure to calm down the inevitable anxiety that his first trip to the showers would bring. Castiel strolled down the hallway, doing his best to stay out of the way of all of the other freshmen moving in on his floor. 

After successfully discovering the bathroom and the water fountain, as well as narrowly avoiding an awkward encounter with two giggling girls who were apparently intent upon introducing themselves to him, he returned to his room with a sigh.

Castiel moved to his desk and opened his computer. He pulled up his course schedule, reviewing it again, despite having already committed it to memory. Tuesdays and Thursdays would be difficult, he thought, with financial accounting, economics, and an intro to business. The other days were more interesting, holding philosophy, creative writing, and nineteenth century British literature. 

Castiel was about to read the class descriptions for the millionth time when a loud thud and a grunt interrupted his thoughts. He stood up, fast, almost knocking his head on the bottom of his bed. Castiel got to his open door just in time to almost run into someone. 

“Shit! Watch it, man!”

Castiel found himself face to face with… Plastic storage bins. The man holding them shifted to reveal a mild scowl. Castiel cleared out of his way, and the man set the three boxes down. 

“Sorry,” Castiel muttered. 

“You’re fine,” the man grumbled. “Sorry, long drive.”

“Dean Winchester, I presume?” Castiel said, cautiously. He had seen his roommate assignment online weeks earlier.

“Damn straight,” Dean said, and he offered a hand out to Castiel, who accepted it graciously. “Sorry, man, I’m terrible with names. Have we met?” 

“I’m Castiel Novak,” Castiel replied, then added, “We haven’t met, but the website informed me of your name and email address. I emailed you a few weeks back.” 

Dean nodded. “I definitely didn’t respond. Sorry ‘bout that, I kind of haven’t had access to the internet in… Well, it’s a long story. Anyway, good to meet you.” 

“You as well. Do you need any help unpacking?” 

“Least you can do after nearly killing me.” Castiel tensed, but then Dean clapped him on the back. “Kidding. Help would be great.”

Castiel moved to unpack the box nearest him, but Dean stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“No! Uh, not that one. No offense, but that’s the most important thing I own. Give me a second, you can start on this one.” 

Castiel tilted his head in inquisition, but Dean said nothing more, just got to unpacking the bin. Castiel set to work on the second of the three, first grabbing the sheets to make the bed. 

When Castiel had finished with Dean’s bed, he turned to see Dean had set up a record player and a pair of bookshelf speakers on the floor. 

“Behold,” Dean announced. “My prized possession.” 

“A record player?” Castiel asked. 

“Not just the record player,” Dean said. He went back to the box, which Castiel could now see was filled with vinyl LPs. “The whole collection.”

“It’s quite impressive.”

“Fuckin’ A-right,” Dean said. “Here, you like Zeppelin?” 

“Embarrassingly, I have no idea who that is,” Castiel said, blushing.

Dean’s eyes widened. “Dude! No way! Oh man, it’s time to educate you. How have you survived this long Zeppelin-less?” 

“My father was strict about music.” Castiel felt suddenly very nervous that this, combined with his near-toppling of Dean moments earlier, would have him solidly fixed on Dean’s bad side. But Dean was flipping through his records with animation, as if Castiel’s ignorance was a game to be won. 

“That’s utter bullshit,” Dean declared. “Here, listen to this.”

Dean put on Led Zeppelin IV. Castiel turned back to the plastic bins, intent upon doing something while the record played. He was quiet as he worked, setting up first an ancient-looking coffee maker, then a small, LCD monitor. Dean unpacked his clothes, quietly singing along to the music.

“Do you need help with the rest?” Castiel asked when they had finished, assuming there had to be more than just those three boxes. Dean chuckled quietly. 

“Nah, this is it. Thanks for the help, Castiel.” 

Castiel raised an eyebrow, but only said, “You’re welcome.” Dean had brought even less than he had. 

“That’s a weird name, by the way,” Dean said, turning the volume down on the speakers. “Castiel. It sounds kind of --” 

“Ancient?” Castiel supplied, and Dean nodded. “That’s because it is. It’s adapted from the name of an angel in the third book of Enoch.” At Dean’s blank look, Castiel added, “Christian apocryphal lore. My parents are very religious.” 

“Ah,” Dean said. “And you…?”

“Haven’t been to church since I was fourteen,” Castiel finished. “We are very different, my family and I.” 

Dean nodded. “That them?” He asked, pointing at the picture on Castiel’s desk. 

“Yes,” Castiel said. 

“That’s a lot of kids.” 

“Yes, there’s five of us.” 

“Road trips must have been fun,” Dean said.

This actually got a laugh out of Castiel. 

“I’ve only got one. My kid brother, Sam,” Dean said.

“How old is Sam?”

“God.” Dean rubbed his face, considering. “I guess he’s fourteen now. It’s weird — I feel like I can never see him as any older than, like, eight.”

“I can’t say I understand,” Castiel replied. “I’m the youngest.” 

“Damn, that must suck, four older siblings. What’re their names?”

Castiel picked up the picture. “The boy on the left — he’s the oldest — that’s Gabriel. The other is Bartholomew. The redhead is Anna. And then there’s Hannah, she’s just a couple years older than me.” 

Dean nodded, moving to his record player. He pulled a small, worn piece of paper from the inside. 

“This is old as hell,” he said, showing Castiel the picture, “but that’s my dad, and that’s Sam when he was… ten, maybe?” 

“It’s just the three of you?”

“Yeah, my mom died when I was, like, four.”

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to --” 

“No worries, man,” Dean said. “Long time ago.”

There was an awkward pause that made Castiel want to open his computer just to look preoccupied, but Dean spoke. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t get over this name stuff. I can’t be roommates with a dude named after an angel.” 

Castiel felt his entire body deflate. Day one, and just his name was already making things difficult. “I’m… Sure there’s a way to switch roommates. But, what’s wrong with being named after an angel?”

“Dude, I was totally joking,” Dean said, putting his hands up defensively. “I’m not switching roommates — unless you’re secretly a vampire or something.” Castiel smiled at that. “And there’s nothing wrong with it, I’m just not into the whole religion thing. Makes me feel weird. Nah, I’ll just have to call you something else. Any suggestions?” 

“I’ve always just been ‘Castiel.’” 

“Man, haven’t had many creative friends,” Dean said. “Cas it is, then.” 

“Cas?” Castiel replied. He considered the new nickname. Castiel actually found it strange that no one had ever thought of it before, now that he had heard it. “I suppose it is a great deal shorter.”

“Easier to say, too,” Dean said. “It fits.”

Castiel smiled tentatively. “Sure.” 

The music faded, and Dean flipped the record to the B-side. 

“What do you think so far?” He asked. 

“It’s certainly different than what I’m used to. In a good way,” Castiel added. 

Dean beamed at him. “Awesome. I have more in here, too, and it’s not just Zep. Mostly the classics — the Stones, Rush, AC/DC… And a shit load of grunge, too. Man, wait til you hear Alice in Chains…” 

Castiel smiled at his animation. “Music is important to you?” 

“Dude, I couldn’t function without music. I feel like every time I listen to a song I like, I find something new that makes it even better.” Dean chuckled to himself. “Sorry, I’m geeking out about classic rock.”

“I don’t mind,” Castiel said, and he found that it was true. “I feel similarly about books.” 

“You like to read?”

“Immensely.” 

“You’ll have to give me some recommendations. I read Vonnegut in high school, and that was cool, but other than that and Harry Potter I think I’m pretty hopeless.”

“I will,” Castiel said, even though he knew he wouldn’t, even though he knew Dean was simply saying the polite thing. He had learned by now that when people asked about him to talk about the things he liked, they were just being nice. 

Dean asked Castiel which end of the hall the bathrooms were on, and excused himself.

When he returned, Dean clapped his hands together. “So,” he said. “I gotta ask you the Freshman Questions.” At Castiel’s confused look, he elaborated: “You know, the two things you ask everyone for your whole freshman year. Where are you from, what are you majoring in?” 

Castiel nodded. “I see. I didn’t know there was a procedure.” 

Dean looked at him for a moment. “It’s not — I was kinda joking.” 

“Oh. Right,” Castiel said, rubbing his neck. “Well, I’m from Guthrie — it’s a small town in Oklahoma, just a few hours south of here. And I’m studying accounting and creative writing.” 

“Guthrie… I’ve driven through there, on our way to Oklahoma City for a job my dad worked once,” Dean said. 

“It’s not very impressive.” 

Dean laughed. “Nah, not really.” 

“What about you, Dean?”

“I’m from Lawrence — it’s northeast of here. And I have no fucking idea what I’m gonna major in,” he said. “I’m not really… Well, Sam is the smart one. That kid is gonna kick ass when he goes to school. I’m kinda just here to…” Dean trailed off. 

“Experience it?” Castiel suggested. Dean shrugged. 

“Yeah, I guess.” He cleared his throat. “Why accounting? I get the writing thing, you said you like books — but accounting? I feel like those two don’t mix.”

“They don’t,” Castiel agreed. “But I don’t want to be a starving author. I do want to be able to take care of myself.” I want to be far, far away from everything I’ve ever known. I want to leave and never look back.

“Fair,” Dean said. “I don’t know about you, Cas, but I’m starving. Wanna grab some dinner?” 

“Sure,” Castiel said with a smile.

 The next day, in his first creative writing class, the professor asked each of them to share their major, their hometown, and a fun fact. He called, “Novak, Castiel?” 

“Double major in accounting and writing. I’m from Guthrie, Oklahoma. I suppose a fun fact is that I’m named after an angel, but you can just call me Cas.” 

#superposition #destiel #supernatural #fanfic #deancas #castiel #dean winchester

[fletcherr]

hi ! i’m maren and i’m bad at intros ! and bios ! and things in general ! ... why am i here again ? uhm. anyway ! this is fletcher and uh ... he hates it here askdjfs like i can’t lie i’m so sorry but for the time being it’s ... lowkey the truth ? i’m writing this part of the post first so fingers crossed i manage to keep this short and to the point. if there’s no tldr it’s because this was supposed to be it. ( spoiler ; i failed. it’s so fucking long you literally do not have to read it i am so sorry. ) i’m super excited to be here and cannot wait to get to know you and your muses and be a part of this amazing group !!

THE APP !

˖ °╰ ⌜ [ MUSE TEN, ROBERT PATTINSON, 31, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ] hey, have you seen FLETCHER DUNCAN ? last time i saw them i think they were hanging around THE ROOFTOP. they can kind of be VEHEMENT but can also be pretty HAUGHTY. they’re often caught listening to SUPERSTAR SH*T - DOMINIC FIKE ! they also tend to remind me of cheap cigarettes put out in still half full glasses of rare bourbon, flipping off paparazzi, showing up to important meetings bleary-eyed and twenty minutes late, wearing sunglasses inside and black hoodies on the hottest day of summer, feeling uninspired for months then writing three albums worth of songs in two weeks ! let me know if you’ve seen them around, they’ve been working at the championship around FOUR MONTHS and they’re late for their shift !

THE BASICS !

full name: fletcher ralph duncan ( born fletcher ralph irvine )

nicknames: prefers fletcher, but is okay with fletch or duncan

date of birth: november 18th, 1989

gender: cis male

pronouns: he / him

height: 6′1

tattoos: some stupid ones without any deeper meaning to them on his arms and thighs, for sure

THE ( VERY ) IN - DEPTH ! tw for mentions of abuse of drugs and alcohol, terminal illness, hospitals, and death

after years of marriage, fletcher’s parents had him when they were both about to enter their forties, as one last, final attempt to find back to the love they’d had for each other when they started dating way back in high school. it didn’t work. his father left  when fletcher was four; leaving divorce papers on the kitchen table two weeks before christmas. him and his mother, winnie, moved from one of the suburbs to a smaller, more affordable apartment in brooklyn. they were never quite comfortable, money-wise, but they didn’t struggle either. two years after the move, his mother started seeing a guy she’d been introduced to through friends from work. fletcher adored richard from the first time they met, and as the years went by he came to consider him more of a dad than he ever did the one who left. that’s probably why he didn’t mourn when his father passed suddenly and unexpectedly the summer he turned ten. the following summer, winnie and richard married, and both her and fletcher completely rid themselves of the man who walked out on them when they both changed their last name from his to richard’s - duncan.

when richard moved in, he’d brought an electric guitar and a sparse record collection with him. these were fletcher’s first real introduction to music. he dove in head first. there’s no telling how many evenings they sat in the living room, records playing, or fletcher practicing on the guitar until he was caught up with his dad’s guitar skills. turns out, he was actually a bit of a natural. after he’d mastered his first instrument, he moved onto another. his mother - who’d been a classically trained, lifetimes ago - taught him to the best of her ability on a keyboard they got from a yard sale. he spent hours at a time in record stores. championship vinyl had always been richard’s favorite, and it wasn’t long until it was his favorite too. consuming music wasn’t enough, though. by the time he was in high school, fletcher was writing his own songs; creating his own music. of course - none of it was ever remotely up to par with the songs he kept discovering, but it didn’t matter. him and two kindred spirits he met at school formed a band, performing covers and the stuff he wrote. to afford actual gig gear - not that they ever booked many of those - fletcher applied for a part time job the only place he could think to; championship vinyl. though he'd been a regular for the better part of a decade by that time, he was still in disbelief and awe when he got the job.

fletcher thrived at championship. he took on all the shifts his schedule would allow him, and even skipped class to cover for anyone that asked. even when he was off the clock, he’d hang around. if he wasn’t flicking through new inventory or catching up with the whoever was at work, he’d be sitting on the rooftop with his guitar, a pen and a roll of receipt paper - scratching down song ideas and testing out new material. things were looking up; he was a creatively fulfilled high school senior with a job he loved, parents that supported- and loved him unconditionally, and he’d just been accepted into nyu. therefore, it rocked his world when his dad stopped by during one of his shifts, only to collapse while fletcher had his back turned to find a rare vinyl he’d set aside for him as a surprise. 

the diagnosis was a death sentence. months flew by in the blink of an eye, and he watched the only dad he’d ever truly known wither away before his eyes. weeks shy of a year to the date of the diagnosis, on the day richard duncan passed away, his son brought the old record player and the by now weathered records from the brooklyn apartment to the hospital room. he drew his last breath surrounded by the music and the family he loved.

not recently having gone through the same kind of world crumbling sorrow and the revelation about not wasting away and following your dreams that walks that’s bound to follow, his bandmates weren’t all that keen on the plan fletcher presented them with; movin to la and making it in music. really making it. with one of three members hellbent on leaving, the band broke up. they never could agree on a name, anyway. he turned in his resignation at championship, and jokingly promised james namsen to not come back until he’d won a grammy. winnie, though heartbroken to first lose the love of her life, and now having her son move away, had nothing but support and encouragement to offer when he announced he’d be dropping out of college to pursue music.

the first two years, nothing happened. he was living and working in downtown la; the apartment he shared with four roommates was just shy of being a shoebox, and the franchise record  store he eventually scored a job at lacked the soul and the hum of energy he was used to from championship back in new york. just as ambition and hope was wearing thin, things were starting to look up for him. he was meeting the right people in the right places, at the right times. after opening for a few up and coming acts, he was approached by a manager, who in turn introduced him to a few labels. though he was very aware he wasn’t a strong vocalist, he was confident in himself as a musician and a songwriter, and it seemed so was the internationally renowned label that ended up offering him a contract. his first single dropped not even a year later, soon followed by his debut album.

though his star was slowly rising, the album made only a miniscule splash. he toured it as an opening act and played a handful of shows on each coast. going back into the studio to work on the next album felt different. making the first one hadn’t felt authentic. not the process, nor the result. he’d been too agreeable; too eager to please and too eager to show he was worth everyone’s time and money. this time around, he was more assertive and demanded more control over the creative process. less co-writers were brought in, and he now had a say in which producers he worked with. his sophomore album released to generally positive reviews and ratings, but it seemed that would be it. then, almost over night, his shit was doing numbers. big numbers. 

sure - his label was running some promo for his sophomore album, but it seemed most people were catching wind of his stuff by word of mouth. people were actually buying his albums. both of them. when tickets to his second headline tour went on sale, they sold out in days. dates were added and venues were upgraded to answer the growing demand for tickets as more and more people found his music. he was playing famous venues now; legendary venues. festivals with hundreds of thousands of attendees. all over the country. all over the world. if he didn’t have a microphone or a guitar in his hand, he had a beer. or vodka. maybe whiskey. sometimes a joint, sometimes pills. he was at parties, then he was hosting parties. then he was at parties hosted in his honor. for the first time in his life, he had money. hard, real, fuck you money. he paid off the student loan he’d racked up during his one year stint at nyu, and the mortgage on the apartment he’d grown up in. he bought a house in beverly hills, and a two story apartment in brooklyn - both of which had shelves custom made for the gilded statuettes and trophies declaring him to be the best in a slew of categories. he’d done it. he was twenty-six and on top of the world. invincible. and then his mom's heart gave out.

for the three years that followed, his career suffered as he partied harder. friends he’d known for years disappeared, and were replaced with new faces that all blurred together. there were scandals, but they too were all a blur - leaked pictures and videos; shows he decided last minute he didn’t wanna do; shows he couldn’t do because he showed up too far gone to stand upright. people who got too close to him on one of the bad days, who’s faces he scarred forever. arrests, and settlements made outside of court. the label was getting antsy too, and when it passed the two year mark of the last time he’d set foot in the studio, his team - headed by the same manager that been with him through it all; that’d seen potential and believed in him all those years ago - pleaded with him to get help. begrudgingly, fletcher agreed. after a few months at rehab, he returned - clean, and determined to get back to work. the process was longwinded and intense, but the finished product was, in his eyes, solid gold. and - luckily? surprisingly? - the world at large agreed.

he toured the album with dates booked at relatively smaller venues this time around, but everywhere was packed full to the brim with people. throughout the time working on the album he’d been doing okay; staying sober and surrounding himself with good intentioned people. but being back on the road took a toll on him he hadn’t expected, and it didn’t take long for him to turn to alcohol when it was so easily accessible all around him, at all times. still, things were fine, and he was even relearning to appreciate the electric energy of performing live in front of an audience. to celebrate the last show of the us leg of the tour, the label threw an afterparty for the band, the team, the crew, and their friends. as people were starting to leaving the venue, fletcher sent some members of his band and a couple of their friends ahead with a key to his suite at a hotel nearby, while he thanked the label executives that’d been at the show. when he showed up, a glass was shoved into his hand, and as the party picked back up, someone got out the pills they’d kept at the bottom of their pocket all night. when offered, fletcher - on top of the world once more - accepted. 

someone snitched. and to the media, no less. when confronted by his team, he denied it. after being open about his struggle to overcome addiction, something like this would be damning for the reputation he’d rebuilt over the last two years. which is why he lied through his teeth. but then the videos from the suite appeared online, and his ruse was up. the rest of the tour was cancelled, and after completing a thirty day program, he was back in brooklyn.

it took some convincing, but he eventually went along with the ‘find back to your roots by returning to where it all started’ plan his team had cooked up. he also agreed to let someone else run his social media accounts for the time being. how his manager had gotten him a job at championship, fletcher didn’t know. he suspected a monthly bribe the size of his paycheck and then some was involved. but then again, he’d never known james namsen to be that kind of guy. for the first few weeks, he showed up for his shifts - sometimes on time, sometimes not - kept his head down, tried to engage with as few customers and co-workers as possible, then ditched as soon as he was off the clock. but there’d always been something special about the record store on the corner of bedford and sterling. soon enough, he began occasionally going up to the rooftop once his shift was over. approaching customers to offer his service before they approached him. show up early to catch up with whoever was working the shift before him. if he was having a particularly good day, he’d stop by to hang around even if he wasn’t on the schedule. he was well aware he wasn’t always easy to be around - years of living the high life and putting up walls having made him cynical, and standoffish, and discourteous. even if the boy he’d been when he walked out of there years ago was long gone, championship vinyl had stayed the same. and though fletcher’s yet to admit it, being back felt like being home. 

#smoking tw #got restless n fed up towards the end so that bit's Particularly bad sorry abt that #and i didn't proofread #you think i'm reading all that? no way #also sorry abt there not being like.. anything concrete abt his personality #feel free to deduce bc you'll probably be right #if you catch me mixing past and present tense no u didn't #mind ur business !!

[headoverhiddles]

Matrimony - Pope x Reader (Let Me Make You A Martyr) [Part I]

Synopsis: You and a skilled hitman are forced to work together to take out a mutual ‘friend’ through teamwork. But together is the opposite of how Pope works, and he already despises you. 

Aka the super filthy, depraved fake marriage au no one asked for :) 

Notes: this will be a three parter, with updates every three days! Enjoy! 

Tagging: (ask to be added) @peachynun​

PART II 

PART III

Pope barely lets the guy finish speaking—he’s already rejected the terms, regardless of the pay.  

“I haven’t even told you the haul yet,” the man who had come to him, Jack Redman, chuckles. Pope does not share his amusement, which he makes clear through a scathing glare. Pope’s glares had the ability to convey a particular type of anger, so intensely that nobody usually challenged him any further… but it meant Redman’s ass if he returned without a yes. 

The two were sitting in Pope’s cabin, devoid mostly of decoration, only the necessities surrounding them. The kitchen table they sat at was low, homemade out of rain-bleached wood from around the area. On their plates, the two had almost finished cuts of red deer meat Pope had offered. It was rare enough for Redman to pick at it, and Pope to devour it.

The propositioner sighs. “She’s a peach. Trust me. Easy on the eyes, all that.”

Despite the bloody mess on his plate, Pope cuts his food with the manners of a King, lifting his fork to his mouth delicately. “She’s a drug runner. I don’t work with drug runners, I kill drug runners.” He has an underlying southern drawl to his voice, a false comfort that eases his targets. Fear always spoiled the hit, just like hunting. 

Redman pushes his plate away in exasperation. “She’s a drug runner who has potential. She wants to help you. This could be an opportunity to--"

“I work alone. That’s final.” Pope gets up from the kitchen table, ending the conversation. Redman shakes his head, chasing after the tall, bullheaded hitman. 

“Fuckin’… stubborn piece of shit… listen, Pope!”  

“I ain’t listening to anything you have to say,” Pope turns, face calm and stern. “I’m done listening. And you’re done talking.” Redman eyes Pope’s rack of guns which he is standing in front of, and swallows.

“Look. My boss is prepared to give you a big fucking bag of dough for this.”    

“How big is fucking big?” Pope asks, taking a pistol off the rack and beginning to clean it. Redman keeps his eyes on the weapon warily.

“It’s a lot, man. At least a million dollars is in this for you if you just test the waters, and finish the job.”

Pope purses his lips. “Half for me, half for this slut I’m supposed to carry around?”  

“Each,” Redman replies. Pope sets the gun down, and the rag with it. He takes his glasses off, polishes them with his shirt, then puts them back on.

“Three days. That’s all it’ll take. We'll see what happens.”

---

You tuck your gun in your back pocket. You’d never had any real reason to use it thus far, since your job, while dangerous, thankfully never got that physical.

Drug dealing seemed a natural path for you to take. Your parents had both been in the business of the black market, your mother an illegal arms dealer and your father working for your mother. Growing up in a family with a “small business”, it had led you to a code of morals that are currently getting in the way.

Morals that say Daegland Pierce, notorious dealer, needs to die.

Since you and your boss both knew you couldn’t carry it out alone, you had been eager to find someone who could carry out the job with you. Your boss got to talking, and as it turns out, there’s some kind of agreement that’s been made. You’re in the dark about the whole thing with him, but all you really need to know is your role in all of it. 

“His name’s Pope.” 

“Any file on him?” you ask, crossing your arms. Lane swirls his drink around. 

“There’s no file for this guy anywhere. He just… is.”

“How do you know what kind of killer he is?”

“Word of mouth. Everybody knows Pope, and nobody knows him.”

“I’m one of the nobodies, would you mind giving me a little more insight, so I know the guy I’m going to be working with?”

Lane shakes his head. “Ask him yourself. You’re meeting him at the rendezvous point, by Exit 19 on the Tollcross back road. Nothing but farmland out there, ‘til you reach the woods Pierce has shacked up in.”

“These the coordinates?” you ask, tapping a map that had been placed in front of you.

"Wrapped up inside. Quit asking questions, will ya? Go do the job, don’t run your mouth at this guy or he’ll shoot it off, and come back richer for the experience." You go to get up, but Lane stops you. "(y/n). I know you think you're real tough, kay? You ain't shit compared to this guy. He'll rip your spleen out if you get on his bad side. So just lay low, do you gotta do, and don't piss him off."

"What makes you think I would?" you ask. Lane sighs, shaking his head.

"There's gonna be two corpses out there by Friday, I swear to god."

--

You drive a crappy throwaway VW bug up a grassy back road, studying the map closely. There's an x marked where you're supposed to meet Pope, and you're coming up on it now. You toss the map to the passenger seat, and crane your neck to see from the sunken seat. There's a black car up ahead, with a man leaning against it.

You park the bug, grab the map, and toss a match in, burning the thing out. You walk up to him, and take a look as you approach. He's tall, got glasses, and has cropped black hair. He's got a few tattoos, maybe more, you notice as he lifts a cigarette up, but most are covered by long black sleeves. How he could wear long sleeves in this heat is beyond you, but you're not here to question his attire. He's actually pretty well dressed, if you'd go so far as to admit it. He's not bad looking either, for a man in his early to mid forties.

The bug blows up behind you, and you smirk.

"(y/n)," you say, sticking out your hand. His dark eyes move over to you boredly, taking you in with a vertical sweep. He finally puts his cigarette between his lips, which are curiously dainty, and shakes your hand. Whatever elegance his features hold are balanced out by the roughness of his hands-- his skin is like leather, and his nails are chipped and dirty.

"You know who I am," he says simply, in a buried genteel southern accent.

You take a spot next to him, leaning against the car as well. He glances sideways at you, but doesn't say anything. He just smokes in silence. You wonder if it'll be like one of those miraculous bonding moments, where he'd offer you a drag, and it would be like some unspoken code of respect had passed between you two.

You lose hope for that as Pope continues to do his best to ignore you. You eventually clear your throat.

"So. I've got a plan."

"No. I've got a plan. This ain’t your show, kid."

You frown. "Don't call me kid."

"Okay, sweetheart."

"Don't call me sweetheart!"

"What do you want me to call you then? Cause I've got a few ideas."

You scoff. What a fucking asshole! Still, your boss' warning is present in your mind, so you shut your mouth, and get in the car. Pope drops his butt, snuffs it out carefully with his shoe, and gets in the driver's side.

"I heard we're going to be taking the cabin next to his," you bring up.  "Must be nice to live out in the woods. Plus, I bet the asshole's place is nice and furnished. He's loaded to hell." You purse your lips. "Is it a long drive to the cabin?"

Pope doesn't answer. Instead, he turns up the stereo, which is just finishing up Johnny B Goode. Then, an old country song that sounds like a bloodhound wailing to the tune of a two string banjo comes on. It's got some lyrics about preaching the gospel, and you sigh, resting your head against the window.

"This is fucking terrible."

Pope looks ahead. "Mhm."

"You seem like a rock kind of guy, not this."

"'Mhm."

“Not even classic rock?”

"Mmm."

With a huff, you turn to look out the window and let the grumpy older hitman, who apparently only knew how to communiticate by varying grunts, enjoy his lovesick religious whining on the radio.

Eventually, you make it down a dirt path, leaves and branches hitting the sides of the car.

“Welcome home,” Pope says, pulling up at the cabin the two of you would be staying at. You get out, looking around. It’s pretty remote.

"Where's his place?"

"Just down the way a little," Pope replies, unloading some things from the car, "Before you ask, no, we are not going over right now. We're setting our rooms up-- far away from one another-- and settling in for the night."

"And lemme guess, you're gonna pour some whiskey sour and spin 'Solitary Man' on vinyl while scraping your boots on the porch?"

He can't even be bothered enough to muster up a glare. He simply gives you a bored look through those wire rimmed glasses, and walks toward the house. You look around, and when you think you hear a cracked twig, follow him quickly.

 ---

Pope sets a lantern on the table, and pushes you your plate of food.

"Thank you," you say. It was genuinely nice of him to prepare food for the both of you, something you hadn't expected him to do.

"Uh huh." You eat in silence for a bit, the crickets outside the window your only accompaniment to dinner. It's a nice cabin, in a pretty nice little thicket of forest. You can certainly see the appeal of living out here-- especially as someone in Pierce's line of work.

Pope finally speaks. "So what kind of drugs do you sell?"

"Why? You interested?" You already know the answer, but so far, it’s been fun teasing him. He tents his fingers.

"I don't fuck with drugs. They dull the wits, and I need those to not die."

"Depends on the drug," you grin. He miraculously cracks a small smile, and you go on. "Just homegrown shit. I don't bother with trying to sell party drugs. That scene just gets the cops all over your business." Pope nods. "You ever get cops on you?"

He cocks his head. "Around here? The three good, upstanding police officers who actually care enough to know what's going on beneath their noses are on my payroll. Any marshals or anything are easily deterred."

"You just use your charm and good looks?"

"Believe it or not, I'm pretty good with people," he says. You scoff.

"That's a good one."

He spends a long time staring at you. You can feel his gaze on you as you eat, and it prickles your skin. You can't tell if you like it or not. You wonder if you should say something else. Eventually, he gets up, taking his plate to the cabin's quaint kitchen. You missed your chance.

He cleans his plate, and stops by the stairs. "Why'd you want to come out here to put two people on a one man job?"

"I wanted to see it get done. I guess I... didn't trust you."

"Do you now?"

"What?"

He looks at you over his glasses. "Do you trust me now?"

You sit forward. "I don’t trust anyone but myself."

He nods. "You don’t trust me cause you haven’t seen me do what I do."

You chew on your bottom lip. You hadn't gotten the chance to tell him your plan, and by all accounts, you know he's not going to like it. These three days may be more difficult than you thought.

After slowly finishing the rest of your dinner, you head upstairs to find the remaining bedroom. As you're passing the doors, you catch a glimpse of one partially open. Inside, Pope is lying awake, staring up at the ceiling. You quickly hurry past, hoping he didn't see you, and find the empty bedroom at the end of the hall. Finding it furnished with a few old blankets, you toss a pillow down. You slip out of your clothes to your bra and panties, and get into bed.

You don’t know what to make of the man in the other room. Until you do, you’d better keep him at arm’s length.  

#pope is such a grump #but we love a grumpy daddy #marilyn manson #marilyn manson x reader #reader x marilyn manson #brian warner #brian warner x reader #reader x brian warner #marilyn manson fanfiction #marilyn manson imagine #marilyn manson imagines #pope #pope let me make you a martyr #lmmyam #let me make you a martyr #pope x reader #reader x pope #heavy metal #heavy metal fanfiction #mansonite #mansonites #marilyn manson fandom

[airadam]

Episode 142 : ...If You Hear Me

"We all need...some fresh air."

- Tobe

This month has been pretty exhausting, but I did have some good ideas for this episode, and once I hit stride with the recording I decided to try and keep the pace up and get it released on a weekend day! The selection has turned out to be heavy on artists who are no longer with us, but left us some great music to remember them by. Get yourself comfortable and press "play"...

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Evidence ft. Raekwon and Ras Kass : The Red Carpet

How is this track ten years old already? Time has flown since the 2011 release of "Cats & Dogs", the second solo Evidence album after four LPs as part of Dilated Peoples. While Evidence is an excellent producer in his own right, the reins here are taken by his future partner in The Step Brothers, The Alchemist. He further shows his confidence by bringing in California's Ras Kass and Raekwon from the Wu to guest, both legendary MCs, and holds his own next to both. A great collection of talent to kick off the show!

[DJ Premier] Gang Starr : What's Real? (Instrumental)

I just had to go back to "One Of The Best Yet" for another Preemo beat! Definitely get the instrumental release if you can, especially as you get the previously-unreleased "Glowing Mic" as a bonus cut.

The Notorious B.I.G ft. DMC : My Downfall

As I say on the voiceover, it feels weird playing a good chunk of Biggie's catalogue given how he ultimately died. This track from "Life After Death" is a perfect example, and feels like a mix of the creative writing he was famed for and maybe a realisation of exactly how much negativity swirled around him even after he had made the transition from the streets to the music industry. The legendary DMC of RUN DMC guests, only on the hook - but he does it well.

Agallah : Slaughter

Just a few bars, just a taste, as I needed something to bridge a track with no instrumental outro and the other with no open bars on the intro! Big respect to Agallah though, who has been putting in work since the mid-90s and will probably have yet another new project out by the time I finish typing this sentence. Find this beat on "Propain Campain Presents Agalllah - The Instrumental Vol. 1".

Sean Price and Small Professor (ft. Rock and DJ Revolution) : Refrigerator P

Heavy business! Ruck (Sean Price) and Rock, formerly the duo Heltah Skeltah, reunite on this killer from the "86 Witness" LP. Small Professor makes the beat dramatic, and DJ Revolution seasons the mix with his trademark super-sharp cuts.

Fred The Godson : Presidents

The Bronx-born-and-bred MC Fred The Godson sadly passed away last April at just 35 - one of the relatively early US casualties of COVID-19. During his lifetime, his catalogue consisted of some highly-rated mixtapes, but only after his death do we finally hear his debut album, "Ascension".  This track of course is built (by Hesami) around the same sample as Jay-Z's "Dead Presidents" as Fred expounds on the drug game.

Broke 'n' English : Tryin' (Calibre Mix)

"Tryin'" was one of the standouts on the 2007 debut LP "Subject 2 Status" from this respected Manchester crew. Both Strategy and DRS have a long-standing history in the drum & bass scene, and so it made sense that the remix of this track would be handled by someone like Calibre. Sharp, crisp drum action and a smooth bassline drive this one along, with DRS' vocals being woven in as a refrain. You can hear in this one track how DRS then went on to make several excellent D&B albums - his vocal versatility allows him to shine on any production.

Marco Polo : Cindy

The "MP On The MP" (see what he did there?) beat tape is inspired by a Youtube series he was doing, and features a host of new and unreleased beats. Marco Polo is one keeping this style of production alive, which I'm thankful for.  I still think of him as a "new" producer, but he's a veteran with over fifteen years in the industry!

Le$ : Out To Cali

Le$ is a great MC to go to if you want lyrics about just living life and having fun - almost like a Curren$y, but without the extreme high-end references. Right here, he's going to Cali, buying some weed, riding around, and enjoying the view - sometimes it doesn't need to be more lofty than that. Mr.Rogers goes to a familiar sample as a basis for the beat, and if you want more, the whole "Summer Madness" will give you these vibes - and exercise your speakers in the process.

O.C. : What I Need (Keelay Remix)

The "Smoke & Mirrors" LP is a bit of a forgotten one for many, but I really enjoyed it, and when acapellas became available, it was expertly remixed by the Sole Vibe crew out of San Francisco. The classic soul sample (which you may recognise from tracks like "Deeper" by Bo$$) is the foundation, with a heavy kick and skipping hi-hats providing the rhythm. O.C. never lost a step from his first LP, and he's never afraid to put his feelings out there on wax.

Sadat X : Stages & Lights

This is one of those tracks I was stunned to realised I hadn't already played on the podcast, so here it is at last! This Showbiz-produced cut from the 1996 "Wild Cowboys" LP, Sadat's solo debut, was also a B-side on the "Hang 'Em High" single - but definitely stole the show. If you ever find the original sample, you'll be amazed at how Show plucked that one small piece for this beat!

Phife Dawg : Thought U Wuz Nice

Killer B-side action from Phife Dawg, on the flip of the Superrappin "Bend Ova" 12", with J Dilla on the bouncy production. Still can't quite believe that both of these icons are no longer with us.

Saib : Beyond Clouds

The Chillhop label seems to put out endless amounts of beats from producers specialising in sounds inspired by greats like J Dilla and Nujabes, but with their own spin. This one comes from the "Chillhop Essentials Fall 2020" compilation, one of any number that are perfect for soundtracking study, work, or just a lazy day!

213 : Run On Up

That beat by Tha Chill and the delivery of "Shut the f********ck up and ruuuu-uuu-uuuun" by the late great Nate Dogg is enough to make this an absolute classic in my ears, but the full picture is even better. Way before "Doggystyle", "The Chronic", or even "Deep Cover", 213 was the group formed in Long Beach by Nate Dogg, Warren G, and Snoop, before any of them had got their big breaks. Years later, after all of them had become stars in their own rights, it was heart-warming to see them reform for the "The Hard Way" LP, from which this is taken.

Sporty Thievz : Angel

The Sporty Thievz deserve to be remembered for more than "No Pigeons", as much as we enjoyed the whole thing at the time. The "Street Cinema" album may not have quite lived up to the name, but there were some solid cuts on there, and this was one. Produced by King Kirk of the group alongside Ski, this track has all the foreboding, and while the singing on the hook may not be Marvin Gaye level, it absolutely works here.

Jean Grae : My Crew

One of the great underrated MCs - not because her skills are in question, but simply because not enough people know her! She's in fine early 2000s form on this cut from the "Bootleg of the Bootleg EP", produced by China Black. Straight boom-bap, and she cuts through with clarity and dexterity. Jean Grae raps, sings, produces, acts...one of the true talent of the culture.

Bronx Slang : Just Say No

New single from Jerry Beeks and Ollie Miggs, who have really been on a hot streak the last couple of years. It's nice to hear some protest music in an era that really calls for it, and if this is a marker of how good the upcoming second album is going to be, then you need to reserve a space in your crates right now! Jadell on production brings an appropriate heaviness to the track, no lightness on the beat!

[Ron Browz] Big L : The Heist (Instrumental)

All these years and I'd never looked to see who produced this beat from Big L's posthumously-released LP "The Big Picture" - come to find out it's one of Ron Browz' first credits. He's much better known for "Ether" by Nas, which came in 2001. The vocal version of this track is what the name suggests, a robbery tale, and you can hear the sound effects that punctuate the narrative still here in the instrumental.

Tobe Nwigwe : Fresh Air

Tobe Nwigwe and his collective (including his wife Fat and his producer Nell) have been quietly on the rise for a while, but in very recent times their profile has elevated noticeably. "The Pandemic Project" is a short six-track album from last year, and another quality addition to the catalogue. This man is an amazing MC, and Nell's often-unconventional beats are the perfect canvas. Don't sleep! 

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[heartofether]

Episode 5 - Run Rabbit TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Please state your message.

[THEME MUSIC AND INTRODUCTION PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME CONTINUES BEFORE COMING TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S OFFICE.]

IRENE

I’m not—okay, look, I’m not recording this for personal reasons this time. I know last night was…really rough, and I should probably talk through it more with myself before I do anything irrational.

It really was just an awful night, huh? Not only did I cry in the Sonic parking lot, but I got home immediately afterwards and found out that the yellow mold had started growing in my kitchen. [SHE SCOFFS.] Yeah, not my night.

That’s not important, though. What is important is that… 

[SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]

IRENE

Last night, in the woods, I saw something that I couldn’t explain. Today, I am going to find it again and confront it—and this time, figure out what the hell it is instead of running away.

I guess this is sort of me taking you with me for the ride. It’s also for evidence purposes, though. [MUTTERS] For once, I have an actually valid reason to be recording myself. 

Here goes nothing. 

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE STAFF KITCHEN AT IRENE’S WORK.]

[THERE ARE FOOTSTEPS ACROSS THE TILE FLOOR.]

IRENE

Aden.

[ADEN DROPS A SPOON IN HIS SURPRISE.]

ADEN

Jesus—oh, Irene! Thank goodness, you’re alright. You, you startled me. [sigh of relief] I never heard from you last night after your…adventure, so I thought you had—

IRENE

[CONFUSED] Wait, you seriously didn’t hear anything?

ADEN

...no? You never—

IRENE

Aden, I tried to contact you through the radio.

ADEN

…oh. [HE REALIZES.] Oh! That makes sense. I swear, my radio got all static-y while I was watching TV, but no words were coming through. I thought it was broken. 

IRENE

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] That…that’s fair, actually. Look, I’m fine now, okay? That’s what matters. 

ADEN

Oh, that’s good. [STUTTERING] I definitely wouldn’t—I would have gotten fired if I had let you get killed by wild bears. [HE CHUCKLES.] Actually, wait, why were you trying to contact me?

IRENE

[HESITANT] It wasn’t bears, I promise. It was…something worse, I guess?

ADEN

Worse than bears?

IRENE

You really hate bears, don’t know?

ADEN

[PASSIONATELY] Obviously! They’re horrifying killing machines! How could you not be terrified of them?

[HE HUFFS.] What did you see, though?

[A BEAT OF SILENCE.]

IRENE

Promise you won’t think I’m crazy.

ADEN

Oh, I already think you’re crazy. You talk into your phone for a person who will never listen.

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] I do not—[STUTTERING] I mean—

[DEFEATED] How did you know?

ADEN

Carol told me.

IRENE

[MUTTERS] Oh, of course she did. [BACK TO A NORMAL TONE] Just please promise to hear me out?

[ADEN PONDERS FOR A MOMENT.]

ADEN

Alright, sure. Go ahead.

IRENE

I saw a big writhing monster rise up from the ground.

ADEN

[SUDDENLY OUTRAGED] Oh! Oh, okay! Sure! “Hey, let’s play a fun prank on Aden! He sure seems gullible and easy to scare. How about we make him believe that a big old beast in the forest—” 

[IRENE STUTTERS IN FRUSTRATION AS SHE ATTEMPTS TO CUT HIM OFF.]

IRENE

[OVERLAPPING HIS LAST FEW WORDS] Aden, I’m not messing with you. Cross my heart. I went to go check out the branches, and I turned around because I heard a scream, and when I turned back around, the branches and the dirt had gotten up into this huge living mass. I can’t make this shit up. I don’t even have a good reason to. 

ADEN

[SKEPTICAL] Okay…

IRENE

I even recorded it happening. I know it’s just audio, but it’s still proof. 

ADEN

Alright…

IRENE

[CONTINUING] And I promise I’ll play it for you if you just promise to come with me and help me find the creature.

[A PAUSE.]

ADEN

[SLOWLY] You…want me to…go monster hunting with you?

IRENE

[A BEAT.] Yeah.

[A PAUSE WHERE ADEN WAITS TO SEE IF IRENE IS JOKING.]

ADEN

Oh, you’re being serious about all this, um—Could I at least finish my coffee first?

IRENE

Take as long as you need. I’ll tell Carol we’re going out to do some field work, and then we can go back out to the branches. 

ADEN

You actually think we’re going to be able to find it? I mean, if it even is real and not just a figment of your imagination—

IRENE

[DEFENSIVE] Hey—

ADEN

—then how can we prove that it even comes out during the day? Or maybe it only comes out when there’s only one person?

IRENE

[CONSIDERING] You have a point, I guess.

I have to check, though. I need to figure out what it is. Because if there’s an actual eldritch beast or whatever hiding out in our woods, I have a feeling that’s going to be just as, if not more dangerous than your average forest fire.

ADEN

[HE SIGHS.] You really believe what you saw?

IRENE

Yeah.

[ADEN THINKS FOR A MOMENT.]

ADEN

Okay. Alright, I, I’ll go. Just give me a bit.

IRENE

[SHE HEAVES A SIGH OF RELIEF.] Thank you.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE FOREST.]

[THERE IS FAINT FOREST AMBIANCE AND BIRD SONG IN THE BACKGROUND. FOOTSTEPS AS ADEN AND IRENE WALK.]

ADEN

You’re seriously recording this?

IRENE

If we’re going to run into it again, we need evidence.

ADEN

[HE SCOFFS.] Then take a photo and upload it to Instagram or something! A recording without any video hardly counts for anything.

IRENE

[SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE AND EMBARRASED] I...I don’t have Instagram.

ADEN

Alright then, whatever you have. Twitter, Tumblr, whatever. It was mostly just a joke.

IRENE

I don’t have anything, actually.

ADEN

Oh. [HE CHUCKLES.] Didn’t really take you for the “off the grid” sort.

IRENE

I’m not. I just don’t have room on my phone for any social media apps. 

[A PAUSE IN THEIR FOOTSTEPS.]

ADEN

Don’t tell me your entire phone is just those audio recordings.

IRENE

[SHE WINCES.] And what would you say if that was the case?

ADEN

Irene!

IRENE

[SHE GROANS.] Come on. I can still text, call, and check my email. I just...can’t do much else.

ADEN

[DISTRAUGHT] Not even listen to music? That’s a terrible and sad life to lead, Irene.

IRENE

I use CD’s or vinyl whenever I want to listen to stuff. 

ADEN

[TEASING] Oh, so you have a retro aesthetic?

IRENE

I have no clue what my aesthetic is. Can we please just find the branches?

ADEN

Whatever you say.

[THEIR FOOTSTEPS COME TO A HALT.]

IRENE

This is it.

ADEN

…so, what now?

IRENE

We wait, I guess?

ADEN

[WONDERING WHY HE AGREED TO THIS] Ah. Okay. 

What exactly were you doing when you saw it the first time? 

IRENE

Nothing? I was just standing here. I turned around, and when I turned back, there it was.

ADEN

Well then, maybe we shouldn’t stare at it.

IRENE

Good idea. [A BEAT.] Okay, how about this: we go sit on those rocks over there, wait for a bit, and then see what happens?

ADEN

[ANXIOUSLY] Or, wait, I have a better idea! We could just go back to work and pretend this never, ever happened.

IRENE

We’re already here, Aden. We might as well try.

ADEN

[WORRIED, BUT DEFEATED] Fine.

[THEY BOTH WALK OVER TO THE ROCKS AND SIT DOWN.]

ADEN

Now we wait?

IRENE

Yup. 

ADEN

[SLOWLY] What should we talk about?

IRENE

Um…I guess just, anything? What do you want to talk about?

ADEN

Hm… [HE THINKS FOR A MOMENT.] What kind of music do you listen to?

IRENE

A mix. Um, I like Fall Out Boy?

ADEN

[SNORTS LAUGHING] Fall Out Boy? Seriously?

IRENE

What? Their older stuff is good.

ADEN

Ah, so you’re only a classic Fall Out Boy fan.

IRENE

[SLIGHTLY DEFENSIVE] I just haven’t listened to their newer stuff, that’s all. I’m not trying to be an elitist or anything.

ADEN

[HE CHUCKLES.] Sure, sure. What else? [A BEAT.] If you say MCR next, I swear, I’ll never look at you the same again.

IRENE

[SHE SNORTS.] I mean, I dunno. Cage is good. I used to listen to Glass Animals a lot, too, but it’s been a while.

ADEN

Those are respectable choices.

IRENE

What about you? [TEASING] I’m guessing you only listen to the most underground of indie.

ADEN

Mm, actually, not really. I mean, I’m sure you’ve heard of Mitski, Superorganism—

IRENE

[OVERLAPPING] Mitski?

[A PAUSE.]

ADEN

Your life is a joke, Irene.

[IRENE STARTS LAUGHING, BUT ADEN REMAINS DEAD SERIOUS.]

ADEN

I’m serious. Your life is a joke and I have no idea how you manage to live this way.

IRENE

[STILL LAUGHING] Fine! Fine. I’ll listen to Mitski.

ADEN

Oh no, I’m definitely forcing you to listen to her on the way back. That’s a promise. 

[IRENE’S LAUGHTER DIES OFF, AND THERE’S A MOMENT OF SILENCE.]

IRENE

What else?

ADEN

I dunno. 

Who do you record messages for?

IRENE

[SHE BECOMES MORE SERIOUS.] What?

ADEN

If you don’t mind answering, that is.

[A BEAT. IRENE SIGHS HEAVILY.]

IRENE

My ex-girlfriend. 

ADEN

Ah. I understand not being able to move on from a relationship, [WHISTLE] trust me. Is there some sort of heartbreaking break-up story, or—?

IRENE

[GRIM] She went missing.

[SILENCE.]

ADEN

Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I didn’t—

IRENE

It’s fine. The wound is four years old. It hardly hurts to pick at it now.

ADEN

[SINCERE] Do you want to talk about it?

IRENE

[STIFLED] I mean, it’s kind of complicated? I’ll spare you the details for now. It’s just…I don’t know.

I just thought I’d be over it by now. That’s what those recordings were meant to do: help me get over it. I just keep obsessing over it, though. 

[ALMOST MOURNFUL] I try to look for the good in my new life, but I realize that she’s in all the things I think are good. I can’t even date other people—and I’ve tried. It doesn’t take long for the relationships to unravel and fall apart. [SHE SCOFFS.] One girl said it was like I was cheating.

ADEN

[SYMPATHETIC] People handle loss differently, you know. It’s okay to not be over it just because time has passed. 

IRENE

[DISTANT] Right.

[THEN, MORE AWARE] I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping this onto you. You’re my coworker, not my therapist. 

ADEN

Don’t worry about it. I’m always here if you need anything, work-related or not.

Have you tried therapy, though?

IRENE

I did, but it’s been a while. To be honest, at this point, I’m not sure if going back would—

[THERE’S A LOUD RUSTLING NEARBY.]

[EERIE MUSIC BEGINS GROWING IN THE BACKGROUND.]

ADEN

Did you hear—? [SUDDENLY PANICKED] Irene! Hey, stop!

[IRENE HAS ALREADY RISEN TO HER FEET.]

IRENE

Shh! [WHISPERS] I think that was the branches.

ADEN

[WHISPERS THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH] Irene, I think a big living mass of dirt would sound a lot louder than—

[ANOTHER LOUD RUSTLING.]

IRENE

I’m going to check it out. You stay here.

[SLOW AND CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS AS IRENE STEPS TOWARDS THE BRANCHES. THE RUSTLING CONTINUES.]

IRENE

[WARY] Hey…

Wait, is...is that—wo-oah!

[THE MUSIC CUTS OFF ABRUPTLY.]

[THERE IS A RUSTLING ACCOMPANIED BY THUMPING NOISES AS RABBITS RUN PAST IRENE, THEIR FAINT SQUEAKS AND WHIMPERS IN THE BACKGROUND. IRENE STUMBLES FOR A MOMENT BEFORE SHE IS HEARD FALLING OVER. A CRACKING NOISE IS HEARD AS HER PHONE SCREEN SHATTERS.]

[THE RABBIT NOISES FADE OFF.]

ADEN

[UNIMPRESSED] Rabbits. It was a family of rabbits hiding beneath the branches.

IRENE

[SHE GROANS IN PAIN.] Shut up.

[SHE SHIFTS TO A SITTING POSITION.]

IRENE

Oh, fuck.

ADEN

[WINCES] That screen is cracked pretty bad. 

Does it still work?

IRENE

[SHE SIGHS IN RELIEF.] Yeah, and it’s still recording, too.

ADEN

Whew, that was close. You, er, have all of your recordings backed up, right?

IRENE

No?

ADEN

[DUMFOUNDED] Seriously? You’re a young adult in the 21st century! How do you not know the basics of technology? Always back up your important files to a flash drive or something!

IRENE

Of course I know that. I just never thought to back up the recordings because…well, I guess I just never thought about what would happen if I lost all of them. I usually just focus on the act of making them.

ADEN

You probably should upload them somewhere else for safe keeping, though. In case your phone’s next fall is its last.

IRENE

You’re probably right.

ADEN

[NERVOUS] Can we please leave now? I don’t think your “eldritch monster” or whatever you called it is going to show up anytime soon.

IRENE

Yeah, let’s go.

[SHE GRUNTS AS SHE PUSHES HERSELF TO HER FEET.]

IRENE

Thank you. For uh, following me out into the woods and listening to me talk about my missing ex-girlfriend.

ADEN

Anytime! [HE PAUSES.] Actually, no, I never want to follow you into the woods to go monster hunting ever again. Er, no offense. Can you turn off the recording now?

IRENE

[SHE CHUCKLES.] Sure.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today’s quote is:  “Real poetry, is to lead a beautiful life. To live poetry is better than to write it.”

Matsuo Bashō, 1644-1694.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

#heart of ether transcripts