welcome back to another episode of the comedown: where i'm super high and have Thoughts
i would ABSOLUTELY FUCKING RIP if i were a drag queen and needed to lip sync to Alanis Morissette's You Outta Know, because you best believe i would be singing to a woman who dressed a Lot Like My Ex Wife lmao
i've been going thru weird music phases these last few weeks and i think it's because i'm kinda missing my mom and listening to music together. we'd go on so many long drives just blasting whole discographies, and it sucks not having that anymore.
on the flip side of that, i've been craving more lesbian camaraderie irl recently. and like. of course i wish that included my gf, but she's not here, and she has friends in berlin like i do here oc. so like. i need more lesbian friends. if they're trans thats probably even better bc then no one will be weird when i tell them to use he/they for me. bc yes it still happens and yes i stay quiet now bc of it. which sucks.
anyway. the rain has really made it hard for me to Exist as a normal person recently, and just the cold weather in general, so i'm kinda looking forward to the sun returning from the depths of hell. i also miss showing off my tits. its too cold and rainy to do that currently.
i think i'm gonna take another fat bong rip and then just.....log off for the night. my brain is so fried from how busy and stressful work was for me today that i just need to power down. ugh. sometimes i wish i was a computer. like a robot. just want to power down when i need to ACTUALLY recharge instead of just be in sleep mode.
okay last thing - if you haven't drank much water today, please do that. i've had a lot of friends suffering from migraines bc they simply haven't been staying hydrated. as someone who has chronic migraines, i keep water with me pretty much at all times, so when i say i noticed the difference when i forgot to bring my water to an outing in LA? it was like night and day. so wild. but i guess that's what we get for being like 60% water or whatever.
goodnight. be good to yourself.
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So you can smell her perfume
You can see her lying naked in your arms
And so there's a change in your emotions
And all of these memories come rushing
Like feral waves to your mind
Of the curl of your bodies
Like two perfect circles entwined
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The Comedown (Single)
June 10, 2022
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welcome to another episode of--the comedown, where i smoke a giant bowl and do a dab and let my brain word vom.
episode 2 - dear god make it stop lmao
i am very high right now and i think it's because i did that lava cake dab lmao
i have been trying to convince myself to get up and shower because i know it'll help me relax before bed, but alas, it's been an hour and i've yet to move
don't worry i'll get up after this, just need to do another dab
it is finallyyyy the weekend, and work has been shit, and i think i've finally realized the perfect quiet quitting method. just show up to work, say minimal, leave on time, and get OT whenever i can bc i'm poor lmaoooooo
but really, i've been 'less enthusiastic' or w/e ever since i was given a verbal warning for being sick and using MY SICK PAY to take the day off.
as soon as my trip to germany happens, it's all over for those hoes.
they are gonna fuckin regret making me wanna leave lmao. i keep that damn place running tbh. my manager relies wayyyyy too much on me, and to blame me for her own short comings isn't surprising, but alas we are here.
anyway, crazy about that JT world tour/new music thing happening right? i feel like i manifested it. i always can like 'predict' when a band/artist is coming back outta nowhere bc i get the urge to listen to their discography for two weeks before the news breaks. my sister and mom wanna go see him with me in inglewood. and that means having to navigate them in LA. and that sounds like HELL. but i'd probably do it anyway. but also....friends and lovers is the week before. like....may is gonna be so busy 😭😭😭
okay time to wrap things up with a little thought:
you can experience something you thought was love, because you were told it was love, and think it is love, and it can still be abuse or harmful.
and you can learn what real love is if you're patient with yourself. you don't need to learn to love yourself to love someone else - you already do that. you may not think so, but no one else has gotten you this far but you. YOU are full of love for yourself. YOU just gotta keep pushing to see it.
the right love will soon follow.
goodnight y'all 💕
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