#the conflict being this fucking woman yelling at me bc she wanted to be right at all costs generalizing n shit when she should just shut up
sorry i’m gonna talk some more about annie/johanna
first of all, i just think finnick and johanna would be so different as partners. finnick and annie give me the vibe as that one tweet that’s like “i don’t have any morals or opinions if a woman says something is right then it is” “um well maybe you should have morals and opinions” “you’re right i should”
in all seriousness, i think that even when they do fight finnick doesn’t even yell and he’s insanely good at communicating / compromising, which would be good skills for the capitol but also i think he’s just not a very intense person in the first place and that he HATES conflict. and then this is also based on my hcs of annie, but i imagine that she cannot handle conflict well and she struggles to compromise on something even she agrees with the compromise just bc she’s so pissed off, and that johanna is the exact same way. so when she and johanna fight, they fight. like we already know that johanna will say anything even if it upsets everyone (and she canonically did upset annie into having a flashback of some sort) so i think whenever they argue it’s a days long affair and that they only rlly try to figure out how to be more healthy about it when odesta’s son is like “ma where’s johanna i wanna see her” and since annie’s not gonna fill him in on all the tea she’s like “hm. we’re gonna have to work something out”
also it’s really interesting to think about johanna being more sensitive. i think there’s a fine line between censoring her thoughts (“it’s part of my therapy!” she ate) and just being more careful about saying things that are going to trigger annie, and that’s a balance johanna is going to try so hard to figure out. and it’s probably gonna be rlly hard bc when was the last time she had to figure something out for someone she cares abt, and when was the last time she had the luxury to care about someone, and will annie leave her if she messes up but it’s genuinely just a mistake and she’s consistently trying?
i do think that’s all gonna be resolved before they’re an actual couple, which is also something i wanted to talk abt. pre-canon i imagine they met at johanna’s victory tour and johanna lowkey had a small crush on her but also johanna has had a small crush on everybody at one point in time (in a “to cure the boredom” way lmao) so she doesn’t rlly think too much of it. just that when annie laughs it makes her wanna laugh too. and that when annie makes jokes johanna is like “why isn’t anyone laughing she’s literally a comedic genius.” i personally don’t understand this concept but sometimes when my friends enter relationships they’re like “omg i had a crush on them all throughout hs.” and they obviously don’t mean a full on consistent crush, just something that came and went in varying degrees, and i can totally see that with johanna. but also being a mentor + the quell + her morphling addiction + finnick’s death probably wouldn’t have given her much time to rlly think about it, so she doesn’t rlly realize how bad she has it until the war is over and they’re raising odesta’s kid
speaking of odesta’s kid! as soon as he’s born she immediately loves + wants to protect him + gets sick at the thought of never seeing him again and she’s just like “it’s just bc he’s a baby everyone feels that way abt babies.” which true but she also co-parents without any hesitation and when annie is like “i don’t want u to feel pressured to take care of him just bc we’re living together” johanna is like what the fuck are you talking about
oh and also i think annie is fully capable of being insensitive to johanna’s needs too, so it’s a two way street. like with her morphling addiction in particular, annie would probably continually ask her why she can’t just stop and johanna is so fed up with having to explain that it doesn’t work that way but they work thru it obviously
i think this is it. tbh this was more like an outline of how their relationship would work than actual hcs but i think there’s something beautiful about johanna learning how to be more loving and gentle without losing her bite. like she’ll still bully annie but she’d do it so lovingly and without actually hurting any feelings
oh i guess one more thing that’s not rlly a hc or anything just something silly i’ve been fretting abt: what if johanna and annie get together and they love each other soso much and then finnick shows up like “actually i lived and i’ve been finding my way to u all this time!!” like omg what would happen? my knee jerk reaction is odesta pt 2 but if i think abt it for more than a second it’s like. wow. annie and johanna went thru all these trials and tribulations and have grown into each other and made each other their home so it would be so fucked up if annie just fuckin left 😭😭 also annie and finnick wouldn’t be on the same pg anymore so if they even had a chance of getting back together they’d have to refamiliarize themselves w each other
but again that’s a silly worry bc if finnick hasnt returned in years he’s obviously not gonna show up when annie and johanna are happy and healthy and in love. that would be terrible timing and also this hinges on the fact that he most definitely didn’t get blown the fuck up when he obviously did. anyway i’m actually done now
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Mandy bestie is it okay if I rant a little bit? I need advice 😩
I am 26, and I just graduated as a landscape architect ( I just used google translate bestie I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense English is not my first language) I applied to a firm and got the job. The first day, everyone was so nice to me, welcomed me with open arms, except my boss. Actually one of my bosses. I have 3 in total, 2 men and 1 woman. And one of the men hated me. I never understood why. I gratuated the top of my class, was never late, did everything was told, I mean my 2 other bosses loved me but he just showed my the hardest time. One time, he even scolded me in front of everyone and I just wanted to punch him in the face, but couldn’t.
Okay, so a couple of days ago I was working late bc I had a project that I wanted to finish before I went back home bc I didn’t want to get yelled at again, and he was there too. I saw that he was looking at me from his office but I never looked up, I was just focused on my thing. Then he came over and apologized, saying that he was being unfair to me this whole time I was here and that I was one of the best in the firm. I was shocked, couldn’t say anything and asked why he was acting to me this way.
Mandy. Maaaandyyyyy.
He kissed me. He fucking kissed me right there. I was frozen in my lips while his kiss was making blood rush to my cheeks. I have to mention that he is 34 and fucking hot. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and beefy. I just never payed attention bc he was a dick to me. After the kiss he whispered “I hope that answered your question” and left me there with goosebumps.
Now I don’t know what to do. I mean yeah he’s fucking hot but also a dick, Mandy. I mean he humiliated me in front of the other assistants and I felt like a piece of shit.
I asked one of my coworkers who worked their for years of this was normal or if he did this with anyone and she said no. That he was a firm and good boss, didn’t talk much like the other two, but was always fair to everyone. He also hasn’t been dating for 4 years bc he couldn’t find the one. He only has one ex and that was he proposed to her, but she ended things off bc he was more focused to his job.
I’m lost. Like wtf am I supposed to do? Is he playing with me? Does he think I’m gonna be his work bitch like where do I go from here? He went to a work trip and I see him tomorrow again, and I’m fucking nervous like I never was before. What if he humiliates me again? Do I forgive him? Please help the girl out😭😭😭
Again, sooooo sorry for this long rant but I can’t tell anyone from work cuz I’m scared that I’ll get fired and I’m just scared my friends will say to go for it just bc he’s not, yk?
Thank you for listening 💖
BESTIE OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
YOU'RE LIVING THE FANFIC LIFE KSJKSJSKS
OKAY OKAY OKAY
sheeesh don't mind me giggling and blushing here..... WELL I think it all depends on how he treats you in front of everyone else now!
He better change his tune or you fuck him over. I have a feeling he's going to be nice, though. Most likely he was being rude bc he was conflicted about his feelings and didn't want anyone to know he liked you (men....)
But HOT DAMN
Are you into him? Are you even allowed to date him if he's your superior?!
OH MY GOD BESTIE TELL ME MORE
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If I have to hear another adult talking about how young people are ALL (not some, or like, the majority, ALL) lazy bastards who can't find a job because they don't want to get their hands dirty or whatever I'm gonna break some fucking kneecaps
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1-people forget that in the universe MXTX created it is stated that YZY's situation is not normal, it is a patriarcal society so wives don't keept their names nor do whatever the fuck they want and they certainly don't humiliate their husband without even being told off, she's uniquely horrible and JFM is uniquely spineless. i always think JFM did love and worried about WWX but that last interaction he threw him under the bus to appease JC so his last memory would cement that he did love him
2- bc he didn't have more time to keep trying to make him understand and i always wonder how things with JC could have been fixed, easiest would be having had the balls to get rid off YZY early but if he divorced her (or got her killed lol) would JC have been different? or would he resent him even more for not protecting his mother? idk i feel like JFM was cursed from the moment he accepted to marry her and i can't help feeling bad for him
LOVE THIS. So I agree w like 99.9999% only my feelings over JFM change every five minutes. I never hate him but I vacillate wildly between i feel like he could've done more and ig he was himself a trapped in that situation so it's unfair to hold him fully accountable.
Madam Yu is an undeniably violently abusive woman who has married a kind, non-confrontational man. Most of JFM's flaws are only seen as 'flaws' instead of qualities because they framed as ineffective against someone as rank as her. I wouldn't even say he's spineless, because he does cancel YanLi's engagement for fear that it will make her as unhappy as his own marriage made him & effectively stands against his wife's demand on top of also passing on a very beneficial alliance w Jin Clan. (In fact Jin GuangShan is way more reluctant at the thought of taking this news to Madam Jin.)
Abusive relationships have their own dynamics so it's hard watching from the outside how JFM's resignation to his circumstances and avoidance are ineffective against, someone like YZY who materializes like a storm cloud to rain her venom down on everyone, especially WWX. Because WWX is not only bearing the scars piled on his back from YZY's whippings/'discipline' but he's trapped in a perpetual balancing act between JFM, YZY, jc and to an extent Yanli. He has to make JFM proud/see the value in keeping him around & at least in the beginning of his stay with the Jiangs we know he always tries to eat/take less than he needs, but he can't be so good & talented that jc feels threatened or set Madam Yu off. At the same time Yanli rewards him with soup and affection when he takes the fall for jc his first day there. This definitely establishes a pattern wherein WWX sees his usefulness within the Jiang sect in diverting punishment for the failings of those around him, especially jc, to himself. She also repeatedly asks him to just accept jc’s shifty behavior as a representative of his affection... bc she's a huge fucking enabler, which probably doesn’t bode well for how she’s come to interpret affection.
As for YZY she's the only one who paints herself a victim, when it's clear she's the instigator of the conflicts!!!! She’s literally the bad guy, boss, fly in the ointment etc. There's a lot of gaslighting in her interactions with JFM so I'm confused as to why people think that of everyone she's the reliable narrator or some poor sad victim of an uninterested husband??? She clearly does as she pleases in Lotus Pier, yells at JFM in front of Servants, accuses him of fathering a child with his friend's wife, she whips the head disciple for imagined infractions with a spiritual weapon! and pretty much just chills w her ladies when she isn't busy spewing venom wherever she goes. WITH NO REPRECUSSIONS. If JFM had been a woman and YZY the man I'm sure all her cringe stans would be frothing at the mouth to drag her(yzy) to hell by the balls.
People love to accuse JFM of favoritism towards WWX or showing him more affection. To me it's clear that for JMF, WWX is simply an extension of his father/friend & ultimately a subordinate in the Jiang household. JFM clearly cares about jc, it's not his fault that jc doesn't get it, and it's not his fault that YZY is always poisoning their relationship. JFM for his part is still trying to guide jc towards how he's meant to occupy his future position as Clan leader, quite gently too considering jiang cheng was berating WWX for saving their allies... I’m sure if anything JFM hoped WWX’s morality and sense of right and wrong would rub off a bit on jc & why wouldn't you want someone immensely talented and loyal and devoted to the well being of your son and family around?? JFM did a nice thing getting WWX off the streets but that doesn’t mean he also didn’t think WWX could be a good friend to jc who when WWX is first brought to Lotus Pier has ZERO friends, and was likely to remain with zero friends considering his personality. Only someone like WWX who is forced by circumstances, & his kind nature & gratitude to the Jiangs would be in a position to befriend him. So I think it's laughable to say JFM favors WWS when WWX was the sacrificial lamb friend/pet JFM gifted his son. Not to mention that the only person who says JFM doesn't properly value jc is again YZY. Ofc jc takes to like a duck to water because he's cut from the same cloth as his rancid mother and it's much easier to blame WWX for all his failings and misfortunes than to take a good hard look at himself or ever take responsibility for anything. jc doesn't do self reflection. There isn't any scenario where jc would have been a good person. He's lacking basic human empathy. His view of the world has him as its center. He can only relate to things as they concern and affect him and he doesn't even possess a modicum of honor that might keep such selfish impulses at bay.
To conclude, I totally agree. JFM cursed himself the moment he let himself be coerced by YZY and her Clan into marrying a person whose character and values he knew ran so deeply counter to his and his Clan's own. Sure enough under the control of jiang cheng, the original spirit in which Jiang clan was established is gone. It's a place devoid of warmth that people are scared to visit lest they be confronted w the screams of people being flayed alive.
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Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D
Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~
Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise!
Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him
Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you”
MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you”
Mozart: ??????????
Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is
This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg
Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.
MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters
MC: So how was your day, honey?
Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller
MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps?
Comte: for now.
Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch
Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer
MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds
Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you
Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor
I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.
Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:
MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu.
Dazai: wheezing
MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes
Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:
MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA
At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC
Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit
For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point
MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?
MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in.
Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise
MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch
Napoleon: laughing in agreement
Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous
Isaac: How are you feeling?
MC: Oh, I’m not
Isaac: seconds from dialing 911
Isaac: Are you okay?
MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer
Isaac: say sike rn
Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:
MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.
Isaac: unable to help a laugh
One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like:
Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls
MC was so hecking proud of him
Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course
MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful?
Isaac: please do not, no
Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult.
MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi.....
Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano
Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom?
MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”)
Jeanne, fighting a smile:
MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended
Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:
Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.
Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.
Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...
I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.
Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”
Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...
But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.
MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now
Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing
MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job
MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.
MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one!
Vincent: ;-;
MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait
(MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)
Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.
MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.
Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me?
MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.
Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon
MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo
Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD!
MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...
Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time
Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s
MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird
Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC:
MC:
MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite
MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.
(I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)
Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”
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Red I sincerely love how detailed and organized your S/I page is— they all seem like such cool and intriguing characters! (੭ु。>﹏<。)੭ु⁾⁾💖💖 If you do not mind (and only if you feel like it, of course!), could you perhaps please share more info about your new S/I Bryn? Anything would be fine! As long as you want to talk about it. ^^
this is so SWEET AHHHH i absolutely will share more abt them!! attempting a mobile readmore for this lmao
thank you so much for sending this in!!! i hope you have a lovely rest of your day!!!
so!! as you can see in their bio they’re one quarter fj.erdan. their paternal grandmother was a fjer.dan immigrant to ke.rch who their father always described as a very fiery and passionate woman who refused to be held down or defined by others, allegedly (she never explained quite why she left fj.erda) the cause of her moving to ker.ch, as she felt she was limited by her home culture and refused many roles placed on her.
bryn themself (at least in the first story of the series) is very quiet around most people, doesn’t cause a lot of trouble, doesn’t speak up much… you wouldn’t expect it but they actually take a lot after their grandmother. for example: they refuse to define themself by typical gender roles or identities, and wear men’s and women’s clothing equally. they have very strong beliefs on what’s right and what’s wrong, and while they remain open minded, they have certain core beliefs that you’re not likely to ever change and if they feel something goes against those beliefs, they will pursue it until they’re ragged. mainly, they care about justice, but also freedom and the right of others to care and comfort. they definitely disagree with gr.isha enlistment but they often don’t feel they’re in a safe position to fight it (perhaps because they are gri.sha themself…?)
that said, it’s not like the parts of them that want to stand up for their beliefs truly conflict with their quietude - they have a unique way of using it to their advantage and almost weaponizing it. they’ve found that when one is quiet around others, they have a tendency to act like you’re not there - that people often mistake quietness for not paying attention, and they say things when they think you’re not listening that they wouldn’t say around others. through this, they’re very good at gaining information, simply by being someone who is often ignored or forgotten, by just being quiet and paying attention. this is a pretty invaluable skill when they join the crows
here’s some assorted random trivia about them:
because kaz and bryn are both quiet (in different ways, for different reasons), even though they don’t quite trust each other at first, they have a way of communicating through facial expressions that to outsiders almost appears telepathic. they just sort of understand each other inherently. from this was born what jes.per likes to call “the neutral face of fuck you” (ok it’s what i like to call it but shh). it’s an expression that they share with each other that just kind of looks much like 😐🤨, that only they really understand to mean “i’m judging the decision you’re making heavily right now, and i’m actually quite mad but my personality won’t let me yell at you”. jes.per swears that you can tell when kaz is doing it bc he clenches his jaw just slightly, and when bryn does it their right eyebrow raises just a little. in.ej doesn’t see it.
their closest relationship among the crows is jes.per, obviously, but oddly he’s not the person they tell everything to. it sounds weird but, because they have such strong feelings toward him and they seek a form of approval from him, they sometimes feel too ashamed to come to him for some darker things in their past. at times like that, they often seek ine.j’s advice (leading to them growing a close friendship), and later nina (who also becomes a close friend to bryn)
fear not though! as trust grows between them, they do end up confiding in kaz. it’s slow, but because of some similarities, as different as they might be, they understand each other well
freyja, the first cat they rescued, is very protective of them and not readily accepting of most strangers - he doesn’t like to be touched by most new people, and he follows them like a shadow, often hissing at people he doesn’t trust if they come too close to bryn
speaking of freyja, they’re often asked why they gave a male cat a feminine name. bryn insists he chose his own name and refuses to rename him
aside from their skill in horticulture and toxicology, they’re an extremely skilled painter. they have an odd hobby of painting visitors to the inn (which at one point drew kaz’s suspicion after they painted ine.j’s portrait). they’re skilled enough that they were asked to work painting the portraits of wanted criminals, but declined immediately because they felt it went against their beliefs
they worship “old gods” but have never really elaborated on what this means. they simply say they worship the old gods.
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i think season three is good, but there are a few things about it that absolutely enrage me to an overdramatic amount, and here i shall list them lol. also this will be in more than one ask because i have too many thoughts. ok, the first is how hopper went from trying his best to threatening children, having that "girls can't choose who they date they aren't smart" mindset, gaslighting Joyce/not believing her when she has basically always been correct, and tricking her into a date?? 1/? lol
next, i hate how they went "here, take billy's sad childhood and him saving el and forgive his racist actions! go! FETCH!" and we were supposed to be like "yayyy! what a nice guy!!!" you know? like... a sad childhood isn't redemption? it may vaguely explain things, but not excuse them? i also was disappointed with el and max's friendship being based off them being mean to their (admittedly mediocre) boyfriends? like- yall are in 8th grade dating sucks why are we being mean just communicate? 2/?
and it felt like max and el's friendship was supposed to come of as this "wow FEMINISM!" thing, and it really wasn't at all? i mean i could totally see kids perceiving this "girls rule boys drool" thing as empowering, but i just wish that if they are going to go the whole (adorable) "sleepovers, wonder woman, shopping, normal, not-supernaturalish (if that makes sense)" female friendship, they didn't base it on... well... men?
(i'm sorry i'm saying so much lol) they are also setting up problems for character development and writing. if they continue to add characters for no reason, characters are going to keep loosing purpose because there are less roles to fill than actual characters. Admittedly, the characters they add for seemingly no reason are usually so fun that i end up shutting my mouth and taking back my complaint? like max, robin, erica, not you billy, alexi, heather, etc. 4/? (i'm so sorry i'm hyperfixated)
and don'T EVEN GET ME STARTED (lmao i've clearly started) ON THE RUSSIAN STUFF?! LIKE WHAT!??!? WHO IS THIS TERMINATOR BITCH AND WHY WAS ~HE~ THE ONE TO KILL OF A NEW LOVABLE SIDE CHARACTER??? AND WHY IS HOPPER RECKLESSLY KILLING??? (sorry i am yelling the anger is not at you, you seem lovley) LIKE WHAT?!? tHIS TOXIC MASCULINITY HOPPER CRAP NEEDS TO CEASE PLEASE, I BEG. anyway there was no point to making the terminator guy other than a reference. ok i think i'm done?? thanks for listening lol.
so i’m gonna be honest man the only thing i agree with you on is that the way they handled billy was bullshit. i wholeheartedly disagree with all the rest but i’m very glad you got it all off your chest kjdcnmnd like. i’m gonna share my thoughts on some of this and i REALLY don’t mean to be rude i just like talking about stranger things so please don’t take this as me trying to argue or whatever bc that is not my intention!!
so i don’t think hopper having a problem with el and mike has anything to do with him thinking el isn’t smart or that she can’t make her own decisions. el’s a kid, and she’s only been allowed to be a kid for like... two years, max? he’s worried that she’s growing up too fast, mourning the inevitable end of her childhood which has just barely begun, and yeah, he’s overprotective, too, but he’s pretty clearly painted as being in the wrong for how he handled things. he changed his ways by the end of the season, and through the speech he wrote it’s clear that his issues stemmed from his own fears of her growing up, not from him thinking she was stupid. change isn’t typically sudden or easy, and i really do think that hopper was trying his best at the start of s3 (he lets el hang out with her friends as much as she wants, trusts her to roam freely and keep herself safe, etc). he just still had a little way to go.
i also don’t personally see how hopper “tricked” joyce into a date when she agreed to go and then didn’t show up. joyce is an adult, and she was perfectly capable of telling hopper no (she actually did tell him no once, and then didn’t object later). he was never threatening or manipulative to her. he was a total bitch after he got stood up, and they did overdo it, but he most certainly wasn’t gaslighting her. he genuinely didn’t think that there was something going on! he thought she was paranoid due to her trauma, trauma that he personally has been through and is sympathetic to. he still helped her check things out, even when he didn’t think there was a real problem, because he wanted to give her peace of mind. while you can argue he was dumb or disrespectful not to believe her, he didn’t have any intention of making joyce feel crazy or of deceiving her.
and the reason that the kids aren’t communicating well in s3 is because they’re... well, kids. have you ever seen an eighth-grade relationship where both parties communicate maturely about their problems? if they were older i would agree that the conflict was dumb, but it makes perfect sense for kids their age. i also don’t really have an issue (personally) with how the elmax friendship started. the whole point is that el came to max asking for dating advice, and max shows el that she doesn’t have to revolve her whole life around her boyfriend, she can develop her own identity and be her own person.
a lot of people in the fandom share your trepidation about adding new characters, so i’m definitely outnumbered here, but i don’t personally have a problem with it at all. i think alexei could have been better-utilized, but his existence didn’t interfere or detract from anything with existing characters. in fact, i think he gave murray some more development and allowed for more dynamic interactions between joyce and hopper. max and robin were both “new characters,” and i’m not being hyperbolic when i say they’re two of the best-written and best-acted characters in the show. when i go back and watch s1 now, things just feel wrong without max, and robin is a revelation. i think that adding new characters makes the world of stranger things feel more organic and allows for the stakes to remain somewhat high without making the writers feel like they have to kill off one of our beloved OGs.
russian terminator... yeah you’re right that shit was weird as fuck. i don’t think hopper killing the dudes down in the base was “toxic masculinity” or anything though like he’s a veteran and the guys he killed were all soldiers and he was just trying to get to the gate to shut it down no matter the cost, yknow? it was a matter of life and death, and with a giant monster trying to kill his daughter i think him killing anyone in the way of him preventing that is kind of... fair. but yeah i don’t really get the point of terminator guy like it was so fucking weird sdknckdnm
thanks for the asks!!! the fandom’s been kinda dead lately and it’s so fun to still be able to talk about st!!
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Why am I always here when you ask for requests ;/ I saw Lupin tho! So, maybe in the war, Remus and reader are fighting, and Greyback attacks reader in his wolf form, which makes her a werewolf, and Lupin is super conflicted bc he doesn't want her to suffer like him, but he has no choice but to help her through after the war? I luv u so so so much 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
The war was raging around you. Horrified screams, blasts of light and dirt surrounded you as you stood back to back with your bestfriends. Sirius and Remus. You were the only Marauders left, fighting long and hard as you made attempts to help anyone you could. You already saved Fred and Remus twice, telling both of them to run like hell. Fred listened, Remus did not. You were still going strong until Remus was called to help Mcgonagall. Remus told Sirius to remain with you, and he did. But neither of you accounted for Fenrir Greyback.
Remus caught a glimpse of him, freezing up as he ran back over. Greyback leapt towards Remus and you slammed him out of the way, your neck being bitten as you released a pained bloodcurdling scream. Bill Weasley saved your group with Tonks, charming the werewolf to death. “She’s been bitten” Tonks said, lifting you into her arms. Remus scurried over, looking at you panicked. “She’s losing blood--” “We have to get her to the medics!” Bill said, tearing the flannel shirt and using it as a makeshift bandage as the group ran. The war seemed to freeze the second the Great Hall doors closed, it being used as a makeshift medical unit. “We need a medic!” Tonks yelled, the group of Weasleys seeing you in Bill’s arms. “no.” Harry whimpered, looking at you. “Fucking Greyback came from nowhere!” Sirius said as a medic ran over. “Oh no...” The woman breathed. “Is she dying?” Bill asked. “...The wolf saliva is in the wound, its already closing... I’m afraid she’s...” Remus’s eyes went wide. “I’m afraid she’s a werewolf.” She said. Sirius let out a sigh, closing his eyes and turning away. Remus looked at you as you coughed up blood. “The wound is still very much open... I need towels and alcohol.” The medic said to another student. They nodded and ran off, Remus sitting with the Wealseys.
“Will she be okay?” Fred asked. “Not if she’s a werewolf.” Remus said. “She will live Remus. We’ll show her how.” Sirius assured. “She shouldn’t have to learn this. I should’ve reacted quicker or-- or done something-- God I should’ve kept her safe!” Remus said anxiously. “Right now she needs you. You’re the only one who can show red tail how to do this.” Sirius said. Remus looked at you, remembering all the times you helped him. You were amongst the group that became animagus to keep him safe. You were a fox, always ensuring that he’d go after you if he couldn’t keep down the Wolf’s bane potion. You were slick though, always being able to get away before Remus could actually get to you.
The group assisted in more fighting, the war coming to a screeching halt when Harry died. Remus was a mess, feeling as if he just lost a son. He watched Harry fall out of Hagrid’s arms and the battle soon resumed, Remus bolting to the Great Hall to ensure that you’d be safe from the battle. He found Bellatrix making an attempt on a medic’s life before he witnessed Neville jab the Gryffindor sword into the woman from behind. “Not my cousin you bitch.” He huffed, looking her in the eyes as he yanked the sword out and she toppled over. You were still unconscious, but safe and that’s what mattered. Sirius and Remus both sat with you as the sun came up and news coursed through the remnants of the school that Harry had won.
You suddenly gasped for air, bolting forward and Remus held you close. “The war-- We-- we have to fight!” you breathed. “Love, it’s over.” Sirius said. “What?” You asked, panic in your eyes. “We won Y/n... We did it, it’s over.” Remus said. You bursted into tears, sobbing with relief into Remus’s tweed jacket, him holding you tighter. “I-I saw them..” You breathed. “What?” Sirius asked. “James and-and Lily... I-I saw them.” you said making the men exchange a look. “They... They said that they knew we could do it if we just kept fighting.” You sobbed. Remus closed his eyes, resting his chin on your head. Harry booked it, along with most of the Weasleys when they saw you awake, engulfing you in a group hug. You smiled through the tears, holding them all close. “You all made it.” You breathed. “Couldn’t leave you hanging now could we?” George said, smacking your shoulder with a smile. You chuckled and Remus looked at you worried. “Y/n... Your bite it--” “I know...” You assured. “This won’t be easy.” He said. “I know.” You assured.
He wasn’t joking. In the next couple of days you were having the strangest tendencies. “Remus, did you crave raw meat when you were first bitten?” You whined, sitting on a stool in Sirius’s home as Remus washed dishes. “Uhm... Yeah I think so... I was pretty young so I don’t really recall what it was like during the beginning.” Remus admitted. “How old were you when you...” You paused, realizing usually when you asked questions like this in the past, Remus seemed uncomfortable. Remus however turned to you. “I was five.” He answered. “That young?” You breathed. “By the very same werewolf that attacked you.” He admitted. Your eyes widened. “That’s why you froze.” You realized. He nodded with a sad look. He put his hands on the sides of the sink. “If I had just reacted sooner...” He said with a breath. You looked at him. “Rem...” you said, holding his hand. Normally he was so scared of touch. He treated his ailment like leprosy, afraid that his touch would leave anyone afflicted. But right now he was holding your hand, looking at you with this nearly pained expression. “I am okay.” You said softly. “You won’t be in aa few days though--” “We will cross that bridge once we get to it.” You assured, placing your other hand on his cheek. He placed his other hand on yours, the warmth making you smile. “Did you know that you now are basically a walking heater? Werewolves can naturally heat their bodies up.” Remus said. You chuckled. “I remember in our third year, our trip to Hogsmeade when I got too cold and you gave me your scarf.” You laughed. He smiled. “I never got that back, by the way.” Remus reminded. You chuckled and looked in his eyes. “Why were me and you always so... Connected?” He asked. “I trust you... And I like to think you always trusted me--” “I did-- do-- I do.” He said. You smiled at him, caressing his cheek lightly with your thumb. He swallowed, looking in your eyes. He pressed a kiss to your lips, holding you close.
You heard someone clear their throat and you both parted, seeing your friend in the door way. “It only took about... Twenty or so years but I’ll be damned.” Sirius said, sipping a cup of coffee with a smug look. “How long have you been standing there?” Remus asked, still keeping a hand on your waist. “Five minutes-- Wait how am I guilty here-- This is my house!” Sirius pointed out making you laugh. Remus smiled at you and you looked down. “Promise you’re going to help me every step of the way?” You asked, squeezing his hand lightly for comfort. He pressed a kiss to your forehead making you smile. “Every step.”
Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @mariah-can-dream
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I find it not just petty but like, actually disturbing when ppl say bughead is toxic bc of jugheads story. Firstly it shows ppl blurring the line between reality and fantasy and second, it's an argument that's used to bully real fanfic authors who write dark content. And some of that bullying gets very nasty, I followed someone who even had to delete her account just to make it stop. It's just so sad and gross and dumb.
Hello gorgeous!
Gather round, children, and let me tell you a tale about purity culture and the absolute hatred of the female power fantasy.
That’s like a Harry Potter book. Only JKR would never write it because she’s a big ol’ TERF. So, maybe not.
Here’s the deal, I’m old, man. Okay, not really, but I’m old enough to remember when you were allowed to like whatever the fuck you wanted. Fandom spaces were sacred. Sure, there was discourse and infighting and bullshit, that’s life. But, for the most part, it was read at your own risk, dead dove don’t eat, ykinmk (your kink is not my kink), etc. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.
In an age where we have Twitter Karens training the next generation in their image, people just refuse to let women be the monster fuckers they want to be. I am, of course, being facetious. Mostly. Some women would fuck the ever loving shit out of monsters and you know what? Valid.
We’ll notice that it’s not an issue with men. They’re allowed, still, to like whatever it is they like. And if they yell loudly enough on reddit and youtube, they will be catered to. (Ahem.)
People really don’t want to let women just be. We’re either too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid, too slutty, too innocent, and someone else, somewhere, always, always, always knows what’s best for us.
We have this new weird trend of people who cannot handle conflict (mostly pearl clutching white women and teenagers who only see in black and white) coming at us from all directions of why anything less than a coffee shop meet cute is A Bad Thing™.
It’s also bullshit.
The censoring of women (because it’s just for us, let’s be real) started as being seen as empowerment. It’s not. It’s shaming women for their darker urges. Listen, most little girls are weird. And that’s beautiful. I used to bury my barbies (I wanted to excavate them later) and collect dead sea creatures but still cried when I’d accidentally step on a bug. We’re not going to become Bad People for liking the darker side of fiction. It’s an expression of self, it’s not blurring a line between fantasy and reality.
The idea the women need to be coddled and guided to the Right Direction is infuriating. It’s insulting to my intelligence and my moral compass. You really want to do some good in this world? Stop telling other women they’re bad for liking fiction you don’t personally like and get up off your ass and do something that will actually uplift another woman who needs it.
Performative armchair activism helps no one.
The darker side of fiction is often a female power fantasy. A woman, taking control, having an often strong man love her unconditionally and treating her as his equal, bending to her will? Offering her the world? That’s power. And women have very little of it. Trying to shame them for the one escape they can find to let themselves grab a little bit of it for themselves? That’s cruel and unnecessary.
If you’re so far left, you’re coming at me with alt right talking points, you’ve lost all credibility. If you’re talking to me in misogynistic language, you have no argument, you have an idiotic rhetoric that I have no time for. If you’re so woke you need to back to sleep, you’re probably a teenager who feels entitled to be in adult spaces online while also yelling that you’re a minor when it blows up in your face.
You know what’s toxic to me? Telling me a boy that shows no interest in me until I’m happy with someone else is the boy I should choose, that the Good Boy gets me as a prize? That’s toxic. And it’s what happens most often in our society but they’re not ready to have that conversation.
Thanks for the ask, doll! 💜
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Ayesha Liveblogs Oh My Ghost (2018) Ep. 1-8
As a precursor to the mildly harrowing journey I’m about to take you on, you should know that I initially liveblogged this in a Discord chat, so what I liveblogged is purposely not emphasizing some of the stranger elements of this show. Anyway, I thought, well why not have this fever dream live on my blog too. Spoilers ahead, but as I’ve said: it’s not that I recommend this show, but I did watch the whole thing
This woman is chanting at a rooftop altar in a lightning storm so I'm guessing she's responsible for the horny ghost
Just as I was pondering the fact that this is the only piece of Thai media I have consumed in which the main characters are not, to my knowledge, mlm or wlw, the next three characters to appear on screen were all gay (I do think they're just bit roles and not important characters but it was funny timing)
Update: God this is the second show premised upon Magical Virginity set in Asia I've seen in the past few months; r u ok Thailand and Japan
In an ironic twist of fate, she can't go to the afterlife unless she has sex with someone.... as a ghost????
I don't care for most of the chefs in this kitchen; both the sous-chef and executive chef seem to physically intimidate staff below them
In more fun news Jiw, the shy main character, seems to see all sorts of dead people, since she is currently being haunted by spectres other than Horny Ghost, who has not yet met her
Grandma's explanation for why Jiw sees ghosts is that it's hereditary
UNBELIEVABLE SOMEONE HAS REFERRED TO HER AS A HORNY GHOST ON SCREEN
I'm oddly endeared by this sudden auto-rickshaw-chasing-a-taxi shenanigan, makes me miss India a little
“The onIy thing I can’t let go now is just that” It appears that the fact her virginity is relevant not because it's part of some greater Thai ghost lore, but because she specifically really wants to have sex but died before she could. The Horny Ghost Title prevails
It has been implied that Sun the Executive Chef may somehow be one of the 1-in-ten-million-men who could withstand having sex with a ghost, I now understand the trajectory of this show
“If one day you happen to possess someone who has exactly the same frequency as you, you will never be able to leave that body” The heavy-handed exposition is great
Reasons I Do Not Trust Sun the Executive Chef:
1) He seems p harsh with his staff
2) He was rude to his mum
3) He doesn't like rice!!!! Who do u think u are!!! Gluten-intolerant???
Oh my goooood, I think Win the Handsome Restaurant Staff Who Studied Abroad (who I have been rooting for since he was introduced purely because he's handsome) might be Jiw's love interest hkjhgkjhgkhg
It might be a love square!!! Jiw and Win falling for each other while Horny Ghost tries to get with Sun the Executive Chef
“You know why I don’t like you?” SUN YOU ARE HER EMPLOYER!!!
He's right but he's rude 😔:
“A woman shouldn’t have scars on her hands” The context of this comment is that Jiw has just spilled hot soup on her hands kjhfkhfjhf sorry Sun, femininity isn't flame-retardant
Sun's tragic backstory is that he was also once a crybaby who apologized too much
Though in fairness to Jiw, if I were seeing ghosts and had this kind of work culture, I'd be stressed out too
Jury's still out on Sun; I do like Sun's sister and her husband, they both seem very nice so far
I'm confused by the fact that Jiw's landlord seems to barge into her place anytime he wants??? Also he's threatening her to evict her for her Ghost-Be-Gone-Rituals
The first actual hint of romance: Sun is commenting on Jiw's food blog, which he doesn't know belongs to her, bc he thinks her recipe and passion for cooking is nice
KUHHGDKJHGKJDHGKJHSJDKHG Horny Ghost has now possessed Jiw and has just THROWN SUN TO THE GROUND for trying to root through her purse for the storage room key
My guess is that the Horny Ghost will try to get with Sun the Executive Chef, while inhabiting Jiw’s body Greed-from-FMAB-style
Ep 2: Horny Ghost is attempting to figure out what Jiw's job is in this restaurant while still impersonating/possessing her
Barely ten minutes in and she has already challenged the sous-chef to a fight
Horny Ghost’s only priorities are fucking and fighting
God it's so hard get through this show it's too embarrassing
POOR JIWWWWWW SHE DOES NOT DESERVE TO HAVE THIS PERSON IN CHARGE OF HER BODY JGHKJHG
Jiw has been saved from further embarrassment because Sun has been taken into the police station. Bc he firmly escorted a food blogger out of his restaurant in ep 1 for yelling at his staff and now she's filing false charges against him. Whack
Why is there a shower in the back of this restaurant??? I was willing to accept the lockers for their stuff but the shower perplexes me. Was this building formerly a gym??
And yeah I don't know if I'll make it through this whole show bc I have to pause every minute or two to be embarrassed
TOOK 1 MINUTE FOR JIW TO SHOW UP IN THE SHOWER
I feel all of these emotions
Horny Ghost!Jiw is taking Handsome Study-Abroad Win on a date; I feel bad for both Jiw and Win bc I think they have a vibe going on hgkjhgjh
Executive Chef Sun is solving his B Plot problems by leaving fake positive reviews about his own restaurant
Sun is mad at his mom for settling his legal dispute bc she wasn't there when he was a Sad Little Rich Boy (Now he is simply a Mad Tall Rich Man)
I keep forgetting that the Sous Chef's name is Rain; hgkjhgkjhg I wonder if Sun hired him for the comedy of it
Oh with added context Sun and his mom had a rough go of it actually, she had him young and sent his sister to live with their aunt and kind of really did leave Sun to fend for himself
SUN MADE A FRIEND
Sun's mom and Horny Ghost's Nemesis (Auntie Pu) are hanging out bc Sun's mom is very superstitious
Also dear god these episodes are each an hour long???
An earlier sidenote: There was a scene where Auntie Pu seemed to be heckled by God for her inability to catch Horny Ghost
Executive Chef Sun is now shooting a cooking competition and Rain has been thrown out by security so I'm guessing that Sun and Horny Ghost will be ✨ live ✨ on ✨ television ✨
So the theme of the cooking competition is Mom's Home Cooking and they've mentioned like 3 times that Sun's mom never cooked anything for him
I know this is supposed to be a sad moment for Sun but I'm cracking up bc he reacted like he'd just been shot kghkjgh
Horny Ghost is helppppppppppppppppping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh noooooooo the sad old man restaurant owner having a hard time with his business who they occasionally cut to is Horny Ghost's dad, it seems!!
You know, ironically even though the other Thai media I've watched has been set mostly coming of age/university stories, this is the first thing aside from Love of Siam that has put such emphasis on the parents. Most other media has been ‘1-2 parent scenes in the whole thing is enough’
HORNY GHOST HAS REGAINED SOME OF HER MEMORIES AND NOW HAS A NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER DAD CALLS HER 'KAOPOON'
Awww Dad's Restaurant used to be so bustling with life when Kaopoon was still alive 💔
Kaopoon's obnoxious personality really suited her old life!!
What an unexpected turn towards sincerity and emotional depth
In more light-hearted news, Sun is still vain as hell
Also shout-out to Thailand for the adult orthodontics representation kjhkgjh I noticed this in 2gether as well, it seems a p common thing
Kaopoon has made the bold choice of hanging out of with her dad and snooping through her old room. I can only imagine this will lead to a fight with her brother, bc she has Jiw's face
OH MY GOD KAOPOON HAS BEEN STEALING FROM SUN'S RESTAURANT TO GIVE STUFF TO HER DAD'S RESTAURANT KJHFKHGK
Another ongoing subplot mildly stressing me out: Sun's sister Nam is married to a policeman and it turns out that Kaopoon used to have a crush on him when she was alive and I'm like DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM IN JIW'S BODY PLEASE DON'T NAM IS HER FRIEND
Sous Chef Rain is being a real bro to Horny Ghost Kaopoon and saying “We should all be held responsible so we don't lose our trust in each other” to which Executive Chef Sun says “that makes you a thief,” bc being rich makes u lose empathy I guess lmao
🎶 This is I why do not trust the Bourgeoisie 🎶
Executive Chef Sun is now expressing his regret for firing his Sous Chef to his dog, who, while doing nothing but eat, has stolen the scene and any of my sympathy
Whoops Horny Ghost's brother is about to reveal her Restaurant Crimes to her boss, I'm pretty sure
I hate that Horny Ghost's brother keeps insinuating that Horny Ghost/Jiw is seeking a “sugar d*ddy” or flirting like can't people just be nice jghjkg? I hope that Sun realizes now that family or not, she was being kind, not stealing for self-gain
This is so fucking funny Sun found out about Jiw/Horny Ghost's restaurant crimes, seemingly forgave her on the spot for no good reason, and hired Sous Chef Rain back only for the rest of the restaurant staff to immediately begin muttering about how much they hated Rain hahaha
I'm beginning to think Sous Chef Rain has a weird passive-aggressive crush on Executive Chef Sun. I would support it only bc I find them both exhausting and the comedy of two people named Sun and Rain falling in love is great
Rain: We have a strong bond. Stronger than friends, family or brothers. Sun, and also me: 👀🤔
“I helped you fix things with Rain,” said Horny Ghost Kaopoon, as if she had not also been one of several sources of conflict at her restaurant. (Also this dialogue is part of her drunkenly coming onto Sun.. which is quite something to watch)
Study-Aboard Win Who Probably Has Feelings for Real Jiw to the rescue
God, who has the mental strength to get through show all at once? Really and genuinely every time this show gives me a false sense of normalcy they do something embarrassing dhfjhfjk where is the pay-off? Where is the romance??
Sun's childhood friend Ida who seems to have a crush on him tried to invite him up to her apartment [Tiktok voice "I wanna ruin our friendship"] but he said nah so now he's standing in the rain thinking about their history
First of all, sir, you are 30, so I don’t see the point of trying to pretend the same actor makes sense in a school uniform. Second of all, is wearing glasses and having bangs all that it takes to make you unpopular? What kinda She's All That nonsense??
Sun's argument for denying the booty call is that they should've dated in university but now they've missed their moment
Horny Ghost has just found out her Cop Crush is married (to Sun's sister) and Sun has just rejected himself from the Friendship Booty Call, so I wonder if they're going to have Sad Sex in the Rain
Update: No one is having sex in the rain but Horny Ghost Kaopoon has just been kicked out of her apartment and is now going to sleep in the restaurant I guess, this should end well
Sun definitely has a weird crush on Horny Ghost bc he keeps letting her get away with all kinds of shit kjhgkhgkgh she has punched him, stole from him, come onto him strongly, and snuck into the restaurant at night and she's just like “~~please chef 🥺” and he's like “FINE 😤😊 you can do whatever I guess”
That said despite taking it fine he did not let her stay the night at the restaurant so I guess that's the one thing she's not allowed to do jghkhgg
Uhhhhhh it seems like the Cop Crush is reciprocated???????? Kaopoon/Jiw was like “You must love her a lot” and he was like “who” ABOUT HIS WIFE!!!
Sun has gotten caught up with Jealousy Antics towards Childhood Friend Ida and now Kaopoon is attempting to blackmail him to let her stay at the restaurant lmaooo
Okay Win his definitely in love with ONE of the two (Sun or Jiw/Kaopoon) bc Jiw/Kaopoon slept in the restaurant and everyone's like “Oooooh Chef and Jiw got lucky last night” and they had a lingering shot of Win looking longingly in their direction
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sun just kissed Jiw/Kaopoon bc of a fever-induced hallucination I bet u $85 that Ida is about to walk in
Kaopoon has confirmed that Sun is Ghost-fucking Proof and now she's 100% Mission Sleep with My Possessee's Boss Before I Get Turned Into an Evil Spirit in Two Months
She just straight up asked him, “Will you do it with me? Just once?”
Sun, emotionally, at this particular moment: [Donkey Kong meme]
(As an aside I really wish Kaopoon were not up in everyone's grill romantic advance-wise this is straight up worse than an anime in that sense)
Oh my god is this how they actually become friends?????? By her chasing him around asking him to fuck and him going “NO” and then physically rolling her away from him
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR DYNAMIC!!!!!!!! WHY IS THIS WEIRD FUCK-PROPOSITION MONTAGE SET TO SUCH PEPPY MUSIC
I have now pivoted and I think Cop Crush may have murdered Kaopoon???????? Auntie Pu (Horny Ghost Kaopoon's Nemesis) just said his identity was death and suspicious music played
OH MY GOD FOR SOME REASON SUN UNPLUGGING HIS PHONE CHARGER HAD THE COSMIC EFFECT OF REMOVING HORNY GHOST FROM JIW'S BODY???? WHAT!! WHAT!!!!!!!!
Every time I think "that's it, I'm done with this" they keep pulling me back in!!!
DGhfjdkjk?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They just made Cop Crush run over an unhoused man's recycling??? I guess to establish that we shouldn't trust him??? What is the writing on this show!!
Dkjhgsdkjhgkjh a Canadian character has appeared for some wonderfully stilted English dialogue:
Sun: How's Canada sir?
Canadian Ambassador: Canada was very cold, but it's good to be back
Sun: It sounds like fun anyway!
CA: It is! It's always fun!
Sun: Ok!
JIW HAS ACCIDENTALLY SET FIRE TO THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I figure if I power through the show the psychic damage will be shorter term
Also I think Sun has accosted Real Jiw for a psychiatric evaluation bc of her reasonably erratic behaviour
To add to the layers of this show, Jiw and Sun are back to interacting via her recipe blog and he's all like “wow this internet gal is my soulmate 😍“ like the dumbass he is
Not to detract from internet relationships or anything, but they've exchanged ONE comment
They're having at least a minute long back and forth of cutting to these two staring stupidly into the distance thinking about each other
Kaopoon's father seems to have alcohol poisoning and Cop Crush just left him in the back storage closet on the ground????????????? Heavy-handed murder foreshadowing I think
Kaopoon saved her dad by possessing Jiw again; as much as I understand why she did it I really do feel bad for Jiw bc Kaopoon keeps living her life for her, you know? Seems unkind
Sun just offered to train Jiw/Kaopoon to be a chef (which Jiw really would want to do) but will Jiw be present for it? Hard to say!
SURE YOU WERE LIEUTENANT MURDER
It's been narratively established that Jiw does not remember what happens while she's been possessed so it makes the possessions that much sadder. Particularly since everyone but Win seems to like Kaopoon better
Bc this show needs at least four dramatic plots per episode, Sun has invited his childhood bullies to his restaurant to mock them passive-aggressively with his wealth
The bullies are like: Hey Sun, your childhood trauma's really harshing the vibe
Sun found out his Main Bully (Big) is really not doing well income-wise and now he feels slightly bad for mocking him with his wealth
Clearly Sun has not caught onto the Horny Ghost Situation
Oh my GOD “I spring up every time you talk horny because I’m scared of your words” Sun really said: ‘Well mark me down as a scared AND horny’
Auntie Pu whacked Horny Ghost out of Jiw on the way to their Spring Roll Not-Date so Jiw will finally get to experience some chef stuff with Sun
Sun, despite his reservations, seems to have a crush on all of Jiw's various personalities
He's playing guitar for Jiw through their shared apartment wall just bc she stopped on the street bc she saw a guitar player 🥺❤️
Real Jiw really likes him!! This is the Thai Jamie Oliver bullshit I signed up for
SCREAM he's trying to take Real Jiw on a bike ride kjhgkjhgkh what a quit pivot from his standoffishness to “I will be involved in every aspect of your life”
This biking day concluded in a way I could not have possibly predicted which was, as an interruption to their flirting, they had to high-speed foot chase a bicycle part thief, which they caught because Real Jiw BIT HIM on the leg
And Sun, because he is OUT OF HIS MIND, is just kinda like: “Love that for you babe 🥰”
OKAY SUN YOU MAY HAVE ONE (1) BOURGEOSIE PASS
The Jiw/Sun/Ida stuff finally comes to a head because Ida brought him a cake but Jiw and Sun are already sharing a cake (and restaurant-apartment building)
“Think of it as... helping a hungry policeman” EVERYTHING THIS MAN DOES IS SO FREAKING SUSPICIOUS
Somehow I don't think this is a reasonable request, Kaopoon
Things have escalated and now Auntie Pu, Kaopoon and Jiw are all on Team Sun Should Have Sex with Horny Ghost
I'm gonna power through as much of this show as I can at once so on it goes lol
I kind of understand Sun's "I'm not going to deal with this" way of approaching romance but man it sucks to be Ida who has tried to be pretty forthright with her feelings
So apparently Sun's sister Nam has not always had a wheelchair, she only had it starting three years ago, which is when Kaopoon died,,,,, did Cop Crush murder Kaopoon AND injure his wife,,,,, the stank vibes!!!
As weird as it is that Kaopoon and Jiw are working together to seduce Sun, it's exactly what I wanted and thought this show would be from the beginning
Win said all women are queens 😌❤️
Rain: Why are you protecting [Jiw as Kaopoon]? Is she your girlfriend or something?
Win: Do I need to be her boyfriend to do that? Fine, I'll be her boyfriend then
Sun purposely did not give Win the prize in their Friendly Vacation Cooking Competition because he is jealous that Jiw and Win seem to be flirting; this man said my love language is Passive Aggression
They're going on yet another couple's bike ride (this time ft. Horny Ghost Jiw, which Sun simply canonically thinks is a product of mania, which is fair I guess)
Nam's friends are talking about the person who did a hit and run to Nam getting karmic justice while Lieutenant Murder sits there, probably the one that did it
Lieutenant Murder (formerly known as Cop Crush) just keyed his wife's friend's car because they need to establish that he is not only evil, but also a run-of-the-mill dick
Gsdkdhgkhgkh Kaopoon as Jiw has been trapped inside a storage crate by a tween girl who can see ghosts and u can this is set in Thailand (or Asia generally) bc they cut to this temp gauge like 10C is a really threatening temp. Girl it's chilly but you are fine!!
Sun said, "I am in love with all sides of Jiw, Aggressive Horny Ghost I Think Is Mania included"
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(1)Your serial killer analogy suits I agree with you about Cole. Reading Phoebe’s part I realized that Emma wasn’t the first whom she ditched, even if figuratively. Her way down the road was longer than I thought yesterday In Exit strategy she saw Cole giving in and murdering a witch. She was frightened. But it took her only 1 conversation to change her mind. If we exclude her perception, nothing has changed Phoebe still cared about her family but with time passing, to an extend it changed too
I’m pretty sure if Patty had been the victim in 4.08 Cole would’ve been vanquished in no time. But later she started this nasty conflict with Paige. That what makes Old Phoebe’s case (the 3 faces of P) more interesting. If “our” Phoebe still caries about her sisters, the Old one is ready to throw them and all extended family under the bus to save Cole. I think her actions created the dark timeline. She looked very nice for a visitor from some dystopian future
[serial killer analogy bc this was um A Minute ago] see okay here’s the thing i’m not ever like confident that if patty was the dead witch in black as cole that phoebe would vanquish him without question. because i feel like at this point they had really given up on phoebe just like as a character y’know?? like she really spent a large portion of the middle seasons being defined by her relationship with cole. so like, even if patty was the one who died, she would still probably pulls a “he’s a different man now, he’s not the same person that he was then” and then i think piper wouldn’t want to go ahead and vanquish cole because then she’d lose phoebe meaning paige will be making that vanquishing potion and killing cole all by herself.
on the topic of the three faces of phoebe,, it was all So Bad. old phoebe like fucking hated her. nobody's gonna take you seriously until you stop dressing like a tramp! like ma’am?? what’s ur damage??? we never see phoebe have to compromise her femininity to keep a job, and while she has been looked down on professionally, it’s like never for the way she dresses? i mean like why is this old lady not bothering to impart some good wisdom onto her past self to help her grow like you’re just gonna pop in yell WHORE and then return to your miserable future life?? if it sucks so bad there that you’ve become jaded why not just explicitly tell yourself what you wished you had known and hope that with this information you can make things right? bitch? bc okay you found out cole was the source so you had to vanquish him yet you still wonder what it was like to have been married to him. why not just tell phoebe that and let her make up her mind?? is being married to source!cole worth it? you think the shock of him being the source is gonna be better when you’re married? the whole episode is just so poorly written and thought out it drives me up the wall.
in regards to who her timeline looked like, i really have no idea. i never married you, cole, i called it off. and once i found out you were the source, my sisters and i had to vanquish you. so she called off the wedding meaning... cole realized he didn’t have a chance so he revealed himself as the source? and then what he was vanquish. she clearly says sisters so it’s not like she lost any of them in the process. leo can’t die. what bad thing came of this? what could possibly make this timeline worse than the canon? like? this was the best possible outcome. why is old phoebe such a horrible woman? it’s not like cole Isn’t the source. it’s not like she gets to dodge that betrayal and heartbreak. but for some reason she just wants to set present phoebe up to be in a situation that will only hurt even more? i just. i can’t imagine a way in which this timeline becomes worse than the canon. even in butterfly effect, it seems like it’d only get better. i hate this episode it’s trash also phoebe debuts those Terrible bangs god yikes im upset
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Maria watches friday night lights (#32)
5x09 ahhh my heart is singing for Chicago!Matt already
recap/flailing under the cut:
Ah it makes sense that East Dillon fell apart and ruined their undefeated record after the way that last episode went!
“Really??” As Jess and the maintenance workers are still cleaning up they turn off the lights??? No respect!
Ahhh they’re showing Luke and Vince arguing in the locker room interspersed with the actual game? This show is magic.
Eric found them arguing and kicked them out the field house lol
“That wasn’t a team out there, folks, it was a bunch of individuals trying...” fitting last radio sound byte before Eric throws the radio in the trash lol
OMG MATTS CHICAGO APT IS SO CUTE AND ADULT AND GROWN UP. He’s folding a blanket??? Fuck me up
She stayed all weekend and doesn’t want to leave?! Ok ok I see y’all but that does seem a little irresponsible, Julie.
Is Matt wearing a live strong bracelet? Lol sign of the times
“Look, we all know the problem: it’s Vince, he’s lost his team.” Ooooh good line to go into the theme song on!
“I suck at Texas history.” IS THAT AN ACTUAL CLASS IN TEXAS???? STOP IT. Stop it right now!!! This cannot be real!
“Baby boy is graduating, it’s the last time they’ll see me in the little lions uniform.” LOL Becky and Luke are cute
Ew it sucks that Luke can’t invite Becky out after this last home game with his parents but also who would want to go to dinner with his trash mom sooo I’m conflicted.
Eric wants Luke on QB today?! well then
Oh god Mindy feels like she’s gonna puke?? Oh no is she pregnant again??
“I could take your shift.” Oh Beckyyyy and Mindy is like, no no no lol
I cringe every time Vince’s dad talks to him about football. His mom seems to be cringing too in the corner...
Becky looks really cute waiting tables but yeeeesh she’s a teenage girl and a fully grown man is putting a dollar in her undies. Yikes! Although once she counted that $$$ she was like I AM WOMAN I AM POWER lol
Eric and Tami’s little walk and talks in school are so precious
Awww Becky used her tip money to get Luke a gift to wear to his dinner? “You know I get it because she kinda freaks me out too but you didn’t do anything about it.” Yeah that about sums it up.
Wtf Vince is turning on Jess now too?? She’s appropriately angry! “Yeah cause it’s never Vince’s fault huh? I can’t believe you! You’re really trying to blame me for coach being mad at you?” Ooooh she said it.
OH SHIT did Jess just dump Vince’s ass?
Aw Epyck being good with Gracie is so cute.
Julie and Matt look hot and very natural walking down the street together in Chicago. Aw and she feels like she fits here but didn’t at college. Be a city gal, join us!!! Lol
“It’s frustrating bc I miss you and I miss us, and tonight watching you with all these people it’s like you’ve moved on and it’s sucks.” Awww Julie and then Matt immediately kissed her to shut her up! “I’ve been waiting to do that ever since you showed up.” This is SUCH a romantic ass city kiss!
Honestly out of all the characters Matt and Julie are the ones I can see being city folks the most so that tracks for me.
Jess helping Luke with the plays instead of Vince, she’s such a good one.
Omg Matt and Julie are so cute in bed together, Matt again saying he missed her as he plays with her hair. 🥺
She’s gonna tell him about the TA thing right? Yep okay good honesty is important.
Awww Matt being so supportive and nonjudgmental! My heart! He’s such a good guy I’m dead 😭
“I hope this won’t freak you out, but I think you and I need to, um...we need to go get breakfast.” LOL I LOVE HIM HES SO CUTE god
Oh shit Eric’s benching Vince for not helping Luke! Man of his word, he does not play!
“The big deal is I’m an adult and you’re not.” Yeah Becky, Mindy’s argument seems pretty sound considering we’re talking about you, a teenage girl, working at a strip club. Just...wait till you’re an adult, gurl! You’re almost there!
Oh god Mindy’s irritable, is she preggers???
Anddd she does not seem happy about it....
Yeeesh Tami just slammed her head trying to break up this fight between Epyck and Laurel? Fuck
Yay I was right about Vince’s mom. “I think you maybe don’t have to take his advice all the time. You have a good head on your shoulders, use it, okay!” YES MAMA TELL HIM!!!
Omfg they’re gonna arrest Epyck for this even tho Tami is saying not to bc it was an accident??? Y’all really hate students of color with trauma, damn...the fact that Laurel thought it was okay to call Epyck a psycho in front of a lot of people too? School to prison pipeline in action, folks.
Aw Eric found Jess crying alone in the locker room 🥺 poor baby
We stan Eric. He told Jess not to apologize for crying and to “take all the time you need.” AWWWW
“I don’t wanna be your safety net.” Matt is right—Julie’s clearly avoiding stuff! “I wish you could stay longer, I wish you lived here but you...don’t live here.” He’s right! Gurl! Ugh being 18/19 is so hard!
Omg Billy’s excitement about Mindy being pregnant again is insane. He said “who cares?” about Mindy having to quit her job and she seems much more concerned than he does about the very real health care concerns.
“My boys can swim,” Billy says, putting THE PEE STICK IN HIS MOUTH?? I’m dead, Mindy just saying “I peed on that” and him removing it. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BILLYYY
Ugh poor Epyck :( this system has failed her! And poor Tami tried so hard.
Ah, Eric is getting turned onto the idea of not coaching teens but adults instead—fair!
Omg Luke stopped by Eric’s after 10 to say he’s too scared to be quarterback?? Oh babe.
Awww Senior Day is here. Look at Luke’s trash mom!
“How much time do you need? You’re not milking a cow out there!!” Lol
Yeeeesh now everyone’s chanting “we want Vince.” Ugh imagine being Luke rn
Why is Vince’s dad literally mad? Luke is doing well lol
Yesss lions win!! You did it baby! They’re going to the playoffs!
Oh geez and now Vince has to stop his dad from storming the field and cursing Eric Taylor out! Jesus.
Aww Luke getting his little victory kiss from Becky and bringing her along. His mom is such an asshole, she’s literally gawking at Becky. Bless the dad for being like “why not?”
“He kissed her. Did you see that he kissed her?” Ew Luke’s mom how do you think she got pregnant the last time...?
Aww and off Julie goes, hopefully this time to stop avoiding her problems in that lil blue car? FUCK ME UPPP matt pulling a classic move yelling and running after her, “Julie!!!!!”
“It’s all gonna be okay, all right? We’ll figure it out.” As they’re in the street?? With the I love yous and a truck honking?? Are you kidding me? How romantic...and then she has to get back in the car and drive away oh my HEART the romantic angst!
The episode ending in Matt watching her car drive away from him!!!! Art!
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the art of flirting on a hover board pt. 3
Ivy runs a successful arts non-profit and Joe tags along when Rami and Lucy go to visit her. But what happens when a simple bet made over a hover board competition gets out of hand?
Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Ivy (OC)
Rating: Rated S for Soft Bitch Hours
Warnings: None! (Yet)
This is the second to last part! I hope you guys are all loving it :)
Part 1 ~~~ Part 2
Any comments, notes, love, hate WHATEVER you got for this, let me know!
Reblogs and feedback are much appreciated bc I crave validation!!!!!
"Oh, FUCK yeah."
The opening notes of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue filled the kitchen as Ivy got up to make some more coffee.
The kitchen that was part of the living space of the organization was every Fixer Upper fans wet dream.
Big windows, marble counter tops, a farmhouse table, an island and even a special cabinet dedicated solely to coffee mugs upon Ivy's request. ("I don't think one woman should own so many coffee mugs" was Joe's response as he looked at it with a horrified expression.)
Since Rami, Joe and Lucy had shown up, the past few days had passed in a blur. The "Unholy Trinity" as Ivy had dubbed them, had been so generous with their time. They had hosted "office hours" where kids could go in and talk to them in small groups or one-on-one for advice. They each had given a lecture or done a Q and A in one of the auditoriums.
(Rami had walked on stage for his first Q and A session and was given a standing ovation. This meant that, for several days, whenever Rami walked into a room, Lucy and Ivy would leap to their feet, applauding wildly.)
Ivy had gotten to spend time with each of them and while she and Rami went way back, she found it incredibly easy to talk to both Lucy and Joe. She felt like she and Lucy had known each other for forever and had even had a wine night with Erin where Erin and Lucy had teased Ivy mercilessly about her and Joe's hopeless flirting.
There had been one incident in particular that Lucy had gleefully filled Erin in on.
~~~
They had been backstage during Lucy's Q and A session.
Ivy was backstage, acting as stage manager after introducing Lucy and Rami, who was the moderator, onstage. Joe had tagged along for support.
He said.
He really just wanted a chance to hang out with Ivy.
In a small, dimly lit area.
Alone.
Once Ivy had checked to ensure lights were good, mics on and working and everyone was set, she had made a beeline to Joe who was on the side of the stage.
After the third question asking Lucy what it had been like dating her co-star Ivy had had enough of the bullshit and decided to take her boredom out on Joe.
"OW. Why did you do that?" Joe hissed as he rubbed his side where Ivy's elbow had delivered a vicious blow.
Ivy shrugged, "I don't know, 'm bored."
Joe rolled his eyes, "So this is your mature decision? To elbow an innocent man?"
Ivy considered his statement and ran a hand through her hair. Joe watched it flutter back around her face like so many strands of delicate thread. He wanted that hair fanned out over a pillow, his pillow to be exact. He wanted it in his face as he woke up. He wanted to run his fingers through it when they were watching TV. There had been so many times he had had to physically stop himself from touching her hair.
"Well, yes. To be fair, you are in my line of fire." Ivy said as the smile she had tried to keep contained broke free as her eyes slid over to meet Joe's.
Joe sighed as he shook his head, "Oh, you are so going to regret this"
Ivy's brows furrowed as she tried to figure out what he meant when Joe's elbow shot out, knocking into her arm and causing her to stumble a few steps to the right.
She turned to Joe with a mock outraged look on her face, "Oh, it is so ON" she hissed as she came at him, elbows flying.
Joe threw up his arms just in time to deflect the first blows of Ivy's assault. Elbows were being thrown wildly as they desperately tried to keep their laughter stifled so as not to disrupt the action onstage.
Finally, Ivy couldn't take it anymore, she was laughing so hard she thought she would choke, "Alright. Alright! Truce. TRUCE." She panted as she held out her hands to catch Joe's elbows in a desperate attempt to get him to stop.
He felt her hand wrap around his elbow and he dropped his hand to land on her bicep as they stood in the dimly lit backstage area.
They were both suddenly aware of how they were the only two people back there.
The quiet atmosphere, the dim lighting, the whispered words all came together to set a scene that had Ivy's heart fluttering and a familiar warmth building inside of her once again.
She could take care of that warmth later. She had taken care of it, multiple times in fact. But no matter how many times she touched herself or came around her vibrator it was always the same name that fell from her lips when she came undone.
Joe
Joe felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked down at Ivy.
She was very aware of how close she was standing next to Joe.
She could smell his cologne.
He could smell her perfume.
She flicked her eyes up to Joe's and was engulfed by the deep brown. He couldn't stop thinking about her lips and when she parted them to let out a shaky breath he almost let out a groan.
She looked down at his lips.
He kept his gaze on hers.
She tilted her head a fraction of an inch.
He shuffled his feet closer.
And then,
There was thunderous applause as Lucy and Rami waved to the crowd and made their way backstage.
Ivy's hand fell as she turned her body away from Joe's, unhooking her hair behind her ears to hopefully cover the blush she knew was inevitably spreading.
Joe coughed into his hand as he shuffled his feet, trying to look like nothing had happened.
And nothing had happened.
So, then why, when Lucy looked at them both, did it feel like they had been caught naked?
~~~
After Lucy had shared that story, Erin and Lucy had done nothing but tease Ivy about the whole thing and offer some incredibly colorful descriptions of what, exactly, Joe could do with his hands. While they had schemed to figure out other ways to get Joe and Ivy back together in a dimly lit area, Ivy had kept another, similar, incident to herself.
~~~
Ivy had been planning out the month's events late one night. This was a task that required a large chunk of time, complete solitude, her best playlist of 80's Bops and Jamz and one break for pizza.
Rami, Lucy and Joe had supplied the pizza and the much needed break when they stopped by to check on Ivy.
That had been three hours ago and her eyes were starting to cross as she stared at the spreadsheet on her laptop, then to the whiteboard full of indecipherable scribbles then to the planner to her right.
She huffed out a laugh as she pulled up a picture of the Charlie Kelly meme from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where he's standing in front of a board that looked much like her own. She stood up to take a selfie in front of the board. She added the two pictures next to each other and tweeted, "Who did it better?" Laughing at her own cleverness it quickly turned to a sigh as she turned her gaze back to the board and the impossible equation before her.
~
Joe had been hanging out in the living room, sprawled on the couch, halfheartedly watching a Planet Earth documentary and scrolling through social media when he saw Ivy's tweet.
"Who did it better?" Her eyes looking crazy as she stood in front of the same whiteboard he had seen earlier that night. He smiled to himself as he contemplated her picture. Even trying to take a funny picture, she was still so cute.
He saw the time stamp and realized she had only sent it out a few minutes ago. He glanced up and made a quick decision.
He hopped up from the couch, tucking his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants. He tugged his white t-shirt down as he ambled down the hallway back towards the office area.
He padded down dimly lit hallways that felt too quiet. He was already used to the noise that filled the building during the day. People talking over each other, sharing ideas, yelling out to friends, he could almost convince himself the air was thick with unfinished artistic ideas.
He started climbing the staircase at the front of the building to see one of the last conference rooms at the end of the hall still lit up. Ivy was standing in front of the white board, hands on her hips. Her hair had been pulled up into a ponytail, heels kicked off and abandoned hours earlier. The faint sound of synths leaking through the doorway indicated the 80's playlist was still going strong.
He knocked on the window and laughed as she jumped and turned around to see who was still up.
She smiled and Joe noticed her eyes were considerably dimmer, the shadows underneath more prominent.
She opened the door and waved him in, "Welcome to my self-imposed prison. Visiting hours are technically over but I can make an exception this once."
"Have you interacted with another human since we left you...four hours ago?"
"NO I HAVE NOT!! Thank you so much for asking, please save me."
He watched in amusement as she sank onto the floor and her head bonked against the wall. Her head fell into her hands as she rubbed her temples.
"Right, we're getting you out of here. This is...A PRISON BREAK." Joe declared as he leapt onto the table.
Ivy just face planted onto the floor,
"I can't break free, trademark Queen," Joe nodded his thanks solemnly as Ivy continued to talk into the carpet, "until I get these last two sessions scheduled but the people teaching them have conflicts on the same DAY and I literally cannot figure out how to make it WORK unless I start over and I REALLY don't-"
"Switch them with Gracie's seminar and Adam's demo."
He saw her body still as she considered what he had just said.
She slowly pushed herself up to a standing position as she faced the board with wide eyes.
She turned to face Joe and stared at him with a dazed look on her face, "You're a fucking genius."
Joe shrugged in faux modesty, "So they tell me. Now c'mon, let's get you out of here."
Ivy groaned, "Please. I can hear my bed and sweatpants calling to me even from here."
Joe chuckled as he jumped off the table and walked towards her. She stuck out her arms and wrapped them around his neck to pull him close to her.
"Thank you, I was losing my mind."
Joe's arms instinctively wrapped around her as he rested his chin on the top of her head, "Of course. Always happy to help you."
Ivy pulled away and gazed up at him with sleepy eyes and a soft smile.
Joe realized how close her mouth was to his. Ivy felt Joe's breath break over her face, the smell of his toothpaste sending her heart fluttering.
Joe could count all of the freckles that covered Ivy's cheeks.
The moment stretched out.
Ivy's eyes searched Joe's.
Joe took a deep breath as he got ready to lower his head down.
Then Ivy's laptop chimed with a notification and the spell was broken.
~
She hadn't told anyone about that moment.
~
Ivy poured coffee into her mug as she heard someone shuffle into the kitchen and offered them a "good morning" as she placed the pot back onto the burner.
Joe rubbed his eyes as he stretched and murmured a good morning back to Ivy. He shuffled closer and tugged on the end of Ivy's ponytail, "When did those even come back?"
"What? Scrunchies?" Ivy asked as she lifted up one hand to feel the leopard print one keeping her hair back.
"Yeah, weren't those popular in the 80's?"
"Umm, yeah but they came back in style months ago. Keep up old man." She teased as she took a sip of coffee.
"Ah. Please tell me there's more coffee. I don't think I can talk about scrunchies anymore until I have some."
"Fair. I just made some more. Help yourself." She indicated the nearly full pot and Joe groaned in ecstasy.
"I know, she's beautiful" Ivy sighed as she wrapped her hands around her own mug and inhaled deeply.
"Do you guys have any more mugs or..?" Joe asked pointedly as he motioned toward The Mug Cabinet.
"No, just cup your hands, I'll pour some in to them for you."
"Oh perfect, let me just-" Joe cupped his hands as he stepped closer to Ivy who laughed and reached her hand out to push against his shoulder, "We have mugs, obviously. Some uneducated swines might even say Too Many Mugs." She threw a pointed look at Joe as she opened the cabinet with a flourish.
"Okay but like, c'mon Ivy. It's a ridiculous amount of mugs for one woman to own."
"Well if you're just going to insult my mugs then you don't get one." She moved to close the door,
"Alright, well, hold on," Joe's hand shot out to stop the hand that was closing the door.
"Mozzarello, you made it very clear that-" Ivy's retort died in her throat as she turned to look up at Joe who in turn was looking down at her. Pinning her in place with his stare.
Ivy could hear herself swallow extra loudly as she felt her body temperature rise and her cheeks start to flush.
"I made it very clear, what?" Joe realized his voice had dropped about three octaves.
"That-that, um, you don't...believe...in mugs." She let the sentence die and cringed at how dumb that sounded.
"I don't believe in mugs, huh?"
"Well, that's what it sounded like!" Ivy could hear her voice starting to rise into territory only dogs would be able to hear and willed herself to take it down several notches.
Joe's eyes hungrily took in her flushed cheeks, the movement of her throat as she swallowed (he couldn't think too hard about swallowing, he would combust then and there) how her hand was shaking beneath his. He wanted this moment to last forever but also wanted to get to the part where he was finally kissing her.
~~~
Lucy had been scrolling through her phone as she wandered towards the kitchen. She got closer and something told her to stop.
She looked up and strained her ears as she heard two voices, one distinctly male, the other female.
She locked her phone, then slowly approached the swinging door.
The door hadn't closed fully so she peered through the crack and nearly ruined everything by yelling in excitement.
She spun around and ran into Rami who reached out to steady her,
"Woah, hey, what's going on? Why aren't you-?"
"We need to get out of here, NOW! Or else everything will be ruined, c'mon!" She practically pulled him off his feet as she hurried down the hallway, phone already opened to Erin's contact information as she slammed the call button.
"Someone better be dying. It's a Saturday. The Lord said to rest on Saturday."
"Pretty sure that's Sunday."
"Even more of a sign that I need rest."
"Well you're about to be fully awake because guess who's in the kitchen together, inches apart, practically drowning in the sexual tension they've created?"
Lucy heard the ruffling of blankets as Erin pushed herself up, "Is it? Really? Don't joke with me about things like this. We've waited too long."
Lucy bit back a laugh, "You know I wouldn't call you this early on a Saturday without it being serious as hell."
"Luce, I know you can't see me but I am doing a happy dance on my bed."
"What do you think I'm doing in the hallway now?"
"So...does that mean we can't go into the kitchen to get coffee?"
Rami winced as Lucy's fist connected with his shoulder and Erin's screams came through the phone.
~~~
"So, are you going to get a mug or...?" Ivy had found her throat so dry it took all of her concentration to push the words out. She was starting to worry that she and Joe had been standing in this position for too long and it was no longer flirty but just weird.
"Yeah. I am. But right now, coffee's not really top of mind." Joe admitted as his eyes flicked to her lips and back up to her eyes.
Her lips parted and Joe knew that if he didn't kiss her in the next 30 seconds he would lose his fucking mind.
"Yeah. Same." Ivy internally rolled her eyes at how dumb she sounded. But, being so close to Joe, so close she could just reach out and grab him, she was surprised she was still standing.
Joe couldn't tear his eyes away from her own. He knew that someone needed to make a move soon or something, or more likely someone, would come and ruin the moment.
And as if he willed it into existence to ruin his own life, he heard footsteps, Lucy yelling incomprehensibly and then,
"REV UP THOSE FRIERS BECAUSE I NEED COFFEE" as Sean kicked the door open followed closely by Adam. Ivy heard Lucy getting closer and yelling at them to not do what she thought they were going to do.
Ivy quickly stepped around Joe to intercept the two men as Joe just stared at a point on the wall.
He had been so close.
It took everything in Ivy not to knock Sean and Adam's heads together.
She had been so close.
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I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!
Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:
1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.
2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.
3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!
4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.
5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!
6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).
7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.
8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.
9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.
10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.
11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.
12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!
Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3
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Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw
Spoilers under the cut
TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me
- ok so that woman got robbed and for what
- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???
- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao
- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you
- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️
- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu
- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF
- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽
- ayo Max Minghella
- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock
- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue
- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID
- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?
- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make
- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct
- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what
- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao
- oh yay they did run dental
- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing
- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke
- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?
- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend
- Samuel L Jackson!
- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”
- daddy issues
- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??
- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream
- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy
- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts
- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit
- love the blue tones tho very Saw
- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green
- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)
- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs
- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao
- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces
- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet
- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?
- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose
- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then
- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with
- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)
- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit
- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it
- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged
- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly
- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or
- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀
- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website
- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet
- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho
- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY
- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK
- everyone else at the crime scene: ….
- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”
- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole
- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right
- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me
- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?
- was this abt his dad the whole time???
- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society
- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with
- there’s a body here suspended
- not hanging mind you
- but covered and suspended
- and I bet it’s the newbie
- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing
- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was
- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?
- I think it’s too late pal
- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though
- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE
- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive
- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??
- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun
- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB
- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”
- what a fun villain though
- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella
- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??
- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe
- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke
- shot the target! Good man
- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn
- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is
- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery
- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon
- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad
- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music
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things i did not like about beauty and the beast (2017)
oh man am i in the minority in this situation (also this list is comically long) spoilers, obviously
honestly
most of it
during the opening sequence with the enchantress as she was narrating the prince’s actions didn’t match with what she was saying (like he didn’t dismiss her again or beg forgiveness even though the enchantress is saying he did) details like that irk me
also the whole “guys who wear makeup are somehow morally destitute” trope needs to die
the staging of belle made the town feel like its a half an acre big which made for some awful blocking
it just looked really repetitive in terms of staging like there was nowhere to go because the set wasn’t big enough
belle talking to the minister about the books was short and dispassionate
emma watson can’t sing to save her life
the little robot following her around fixing her voice the entire movie should be paid good money
ok i get that making belle the inventor is supposed to be “empowering” but it goes nowhere??
the hill she runs up during the belle reprise is cgi af and it doesn’t feel right??
honestly you couldn’t have found an actual hill
also the fact that maurice being captured was happening concurrently w the number and the sky being all dark made the wonder and longing of it all weaker
i know it’s in the original fairy tale but honestly why did they bring back the rose stealing as the inciting incident for the beast to punish maurice
it makes very little sense
especially given that maurice took A Rose from what he assumed was an abandoned castle
how did maurice get back to the village? like we see at the end that belle has the horse
BIG ONE RIGHT HERE
why did lumiere and cogsworth show belle to her room instead of the beast???
why would you cut the first interactions between your main characters that actually establishes a connection between them?!!?
the west wing loses some of its gravitas bc of this too
and like????? the beast never even considered that belle would be the one to break the spell?????? WHY NOT????? DUDE???????? YOU MORON even the original beast considered that!!! he’s actually lampshading you all the way back from 1991
but the “this way to the east wing. or as i like to call it the Only Wing!” line was funny i laughed at that
audra mcdonald deserved more to do and to sing
mrs potts looked creepy As Fuck
idk the “come down to dinner” scene was played kind of seriously this time and i get why but i think cutting to inside the room changes the dynamic a bit like in the original you never even see belle and she holds all the power but this is a nitpick
why did they cut to black after be our guest??? did the editor lose a bet or something??
gaston was a fun number but the cuts were absolutely nonsensical
like
you could barely get a feel for the space it took up
they don’t cut to any kind of demonstration of gaston using “antlers in all of his DECoratING” which kind of tells you all you need to know about how bad this movie was at visual storytelling
so many composers and lyricists write music to visuals and there aren’t sufficient visuals to bolster the gaston number
and it felt kind of overcrowded? maybe that one’s just me
the plot just seriously drags
the fact that we spent so much time with kevin kline and gaston out “searching” for belle kind of slowed the movie down a lot
as did the whole “attempted murder” thing
so gaston blows up and tells maurice he’s only helping look for belle bc he wants to marry her
and maurice is like “my daughter is never gonna marry someone like you you’re an asshole!!”
and then gaston punches him in the face and leaves him to die in the woods tied to a tree
and then this miserly old beggar lady comes and saves him and has him accuse gaston of attempted murder
the entire thing is completely unnecessary
back to the enchanted castle
was it just me or did belle not even get that close to the rose? like the animated belle took the case off and was literally about to touch the actual plant and in this one she like brushed the table with her hand
the wolf scene was fine
they lifted the dialogue from the patch up scene directly from the 1991 film except without any of the energy or emotion
also the prince’s backstory is like?? really thin???
the fact that it was literally just inserted into the plot so he and belle could have a “dead moms” connection is so flimsy
they take this random subplot and roll with it instead of actually taking more time to develop belle and the beast as romantic interests
ANOTHER PROBLEM
ok so like the beast was somehow really hurt by the wolf attack right?
so he kind of drifts in and out of sleep for a while and one time he wakes up and belle is reading to him
AND THEN OHHHH AND THEN
HE MANSPLAINS ROMEO AND JULIET TO HER
AND HE GIVES HER THE LIBRARY BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT ANYTHING IN THERE IS BETTER THAN WHAT SHE LIKES
COME ON
WHAT THE FUCK
THATS SO CONDESCENDING
WAY TO UNDERMINE A SWEET MOMENT THAT SHOWS EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN YOUR TWO ROMANTIC LEADS
the new song days in the sun is pretty but combining the servants desires with belle’s make for some conflicting messages
they actually sing something there?
like move their mouths sing
this is another nitpick but like i always thought something there was their internal monologue and it feels weird to see them actually sing them idk
THE BOOK
OOOOOHHHHH THE BOOK
belle and the beast are talking and he’s like “LETS RUN AWAY TOGETHER!!!”
what
ok movie i’ll bite where are we running away to
so the enchantress for some damn reason decides to give the beast a magic book that can take him anywhere he wishes to go
why??? who knows????? certainly not the movie!!!
and he’s like to belle “think of where ever you want to go and we’ll go there just 4 u!!!!!” despite the fact that he literally just said that the world wouldn’t accept him as a beast
so they go to this little house in a Goddamn windmill on the outskirts of bohemian paris
it’s cramped and dark and drenched in a blue filter so you can’t actually see anything
and it’s this useless detour about how belle’s mom died
and it connects to nothing it’s not a plot twist or some big reveal it’s just that she died of the plague
there wasn’t even any emotional backing to it because belle didn’t know anything about her mother because maurice never told her
like if belle had thought maurice just walked out on her mother and resented him for it this twist would have some emotional significance
but that’s not the case
the ballroom scene looks really awkward
like the beast looks especially computer generated here and that doesn’t help the fact that emma watson expresses almost nothing during the entire dance
the whole “you must go to him” scene goes way too fucking fast and there’s no time for the emotions of that scene to actually breathe and release
she rides off in the (ugly) yellow dress which is another nitpick but looks weird
WHY IS SHE IN SUCH A RUSH YOU COULD JUST USE THE BOOK
evermore grinds the momentum of the narrative to a fucking halt
and i swear to god if this wins an oscar for best song while how far i’ll go lost i will dissolve the entire academy of motion picture arts and sciences myself
just love yourself and listen to if i can’t love her it’s honestly a much better song
the part where gaston is hyping up the crowd to go kill the beast progresses in a similar way to the “you must go to him” scene
gaston decides that the beast is a threat to them before he realizes belle has feelings for him which again undercuts the original emotion of the scene
the gaston vs the beast fight feels a whole lot less personal
like
in such a way that gaston is a good 40 feet from belle and the beast when he shoots him
there is no intimacy no emotion in how gaston mortally wounds the beast because he’s literally a Chasm away from them
the beast yelling "I AM NOT A BEAST" to gaston was the hammiest thing in the movie
they just really hate subtext don't they
AND ANOTHER THING
HOOOOOHHH BOY
the enchantress is the old lady who helped maurice when he was left to die in the woods
and yes she’s still dicking around in the forest for???? some reason?????
the beast dies
straight up dies
and the servants have this tragic goodbye sequence where they all turn inanimate it’s the most emotional scene in the film
belle’s love didn’t save them
she doesn’t say “i love you” and the last petal of the rose falls and they all either die/become inanimate
THE ENCHANTRESS JUST COMES IN AND FIXES EVERYTHING?????
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES?
THAT MAKES THE ROSE TIMELINE COMPLETELY SUPERFLUOUS
THE ENCHANTRESS HAS BEEN IN!! THE!! VILLAGE!! THE ENTIRETY OF THE CURSE
SHE COULD CHANGE HIM BACK WHENEVER SHE WANTED
in the original there was this finality to it and this hopelessness of being cursed by magic that isn’t understandable but permanent and that there is only One Way To Break It
the fact that the enchantress is the one to break the spell and not The Power Of Love undercuts the entire intended parable of the original fairy tale, animated movie, and WHAT THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE WAS SAYING
also the fact that she’s there makes the entire transformation less intimate???
like there’s this third old woman creeping up in the background watching them when belle and the beast are supposed to be at the height of their emotional connection
also the transformation itself was kind of hard to follow visually like i don’t even think there was a clear shot of his face
the growl wasn’t hot
i didn’t even notice it when i saw it in the theatre
you all need to get laid
why didn’t they just let audra fucking mcdonald sing the final end version of beauty and the beast
also the actual timeline the movie took place over was strange?
someone can clarify this with me if they want i’m genuinely curious
the prince when he’s cursed is played by dan stevens so like it couldn’t have been more than? five years that he was a beast?
and then when the plot with belle starts, the opening number happens, maurice leaving, belle rejecting gaston, the belle reprise, maurice’s wolf chase scene, the prisoner switch, and the gaston number all seem to take place within a 48 hour timespan
^^^ this is all pretty much the same for the animated movie there’s no problem with that
be our guest and all new added numbers (along with the come down to dinner scene and belle’s wolf chase scene) all happen sometime around here too
but my issue is at the end of gaston where maurice asks if someone would help him look for belle
generously, the time spent searching for her is a day
then maurice is left to die in the woods and is rescued by agatha
he couldn’t have been out there more than two days without dying of dehydration
then, at most, five days from the opening belle sequence, maurice accuses gaston of murder and is about to be locked in an insane asylum when belle rides back to save him
if you’re following correctly, this gave belle and the beast a maximum of four and a half days to fall in love with one another
what?????
i know in the original there’s the whole issue of maurice out in the woods searching for belle but that was addressed by the directors and producers as an oversight and they meant to show that belle was in the castle for at least autumn through winter
so the remake’s timeline is completely unrealistic and goddamnit movie
like at VERY MOST the main plot takes place over six days
TL;DR
most of my issues were story problems, they changed fundamentally so little from the original animated movie and what they did change dragged the plot along or straight up undercut what the narrative was actually trying to impart
the rest of the bullets were either self-described nitpick and trying to work out the timeline
to be clear it’s not wrong for you to like the movie go see it again another three times
this list is for humor
and i didn’t comment at all on le fou for one thing because i was neutral on him but also because it’s not my place to say whether this is good rep or not
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