This… ‘social distancing stuff’? Oh… okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your Costco in a simple face mask and you select out, oh I don’t know, that 36 pack of White Claw, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you aren’t too worried about your health or the health of those around you. But what you don’t know is that your trip is not just unnecessary, it’s not frivolous, it’s not idiotic, it’s actually dangerous. You’re also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2003, the WHO warned about potential consequences of easily-transmittable upper respiratory viruses and our apparent inability to combat them on a large scale. And then I think it was the US Government, wasn’t it, who failed to follow up on orders of portable ventilators? I think we need a ventilator here. And then coronavirus quickly showed up in the hospitals of eight different countries. Then it filtered down through cruise ships and then trickled down onto some tragic “spring breaker” who you, no doubt, will bump into on your ill-advised shopping trip. However, that social distancing order represents millions of dollars and countless hours of epidemiological research and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the healthcare industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the face mask that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”
Nigel: Jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without brains.
Miranda: A ray of hope for many of my employees.
Serena: Another reason why straight people are stupid. They saw a band of leather daddies with a song called Grinder, that literally starts with the lyric “never straight”, and they didn’t know Rob Halford was gay.
Emily [no clue what her girlfriend is talking about]: [nods]
Are we gonna talk about how devil wears Prada outfits were Persona 5 inspired or…?
Emily: People who fall asleep right away freak me out. Don’t you bitches have thoughts?
Serena [about to fall asleep]: No thoughts. Head empty.