#the dictionary is bc im dumb

[hella1975]

loveeeeeeee when my one very spoilt flatmate says some shit about how she treats her mum/how she talks to her mum and me and my other flatmate just look at each other for a silent moment and both just go 'no id be dead'

#like flatmate no.1 is the spoilt one and ive known her as well as flatmate no.2 since not just first year but FRESHERS #like these are my uni 4lifers we've known each other since the first two weeks flatmate no.2 i met on my first DAY #so it's quite funny bc ive SEEN flatmate no.1 change her atittude over time #and i think it's a joint effort of being exposed to different people at uni #and also bc ive just beaten her down every time she says something even remotely ignorant/spoilt #like i normally wouldnt give myself that much credit for a single person's character arc but flatmate no.2 BARELY saw us last year #and me and flatmate no.1 were basically joint at the hip so it was a proximity thing more than me just being super cool and inspiring #so basically what im getting at is that in first year she was sooooo shamelessly spoilt #and it was so clear she just had never hung out with people who WERENT spoilt #and nowadays she's v good at letting herself be the butt of the joke and she still gets iffy about dumb shit #but generally speaking she takes what we give her now whereas she used to ARGUE and that boiled my fucking blood #and it means we can talk more easily about these things and one thing that comes up A LOT is the difference in parenting #like i shit you not this girl uses a baby voice on her parents. it's actually uncomfortable #me however i was raised with a bloody mercenary whose genuine worst insult for us was to call us middle class LMAO #like my mum put tough love into the dictionary her VERBATIM catchphrase is 'fall in or fuck off' #and flatmate no.2 is ESTRANGED from her mum and has a very on-off relationship with her dad that has all round left her very independent #like for her there was no one there to spoil her and for me the person that was there would literally have rather died than have spoilt kid #so flatmate no.1 will say some bratty shit and me and flatmate no.2 are just there like??? are you fucking deranged??? #the example that caused this post is that flatmate no.1's mum went into her room #and she was like '.... it smells like weed in here darling....' and my flatmate POINTED AT HER WEED AND WENT 'YEAH THAT'S WHY' #and she was telling us as a haha funny and i was like. THE DISRESPECT? #like my mum would be less angry about the weed than she was about the fact i didnt even respect her enough to hide it if that makes sense #she'd fucking clobber me id be out on the bloody street LMAO #spoilt kids and/or pushover parents just baffle me like i have never won a fight against my mum what are you even doing #'why didn't you do [rebellious thing] as a kid' BITCH I WAS SCARED LMFAO #hella goes to uni

[kurolumiis]

congrats on 100 luma<33 just a quick question, can i ask for a drabble (with wriothesley maybe? cause ik cyno and kazuha are in ur oc ships so i’ll feel bad asking bc i understand ab that frfrfr) & a match up? :0 i’ll make my forms once i get confirmation for both :>

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐀

featuring — cyno, y/n y/l/n

summary — your crush finds you studying in the akademiya library late at night and offers some support.

warnings — cyno x gn!reader, tired!reader, fluff, soft!cyno, confession, he makes a dumb joke at the end

messages from the galaxy — hi sky!! idk much about wriothesley unfortunately :( but i will write for cyno for u bc im not as attached to him as i am with like kazuha, xiao, or scara (plus i make exceptions like this for friends if im not completely attached to them) hope u enjoy <33 i’ll get to ur matchup when u send the form!!

the dim lights above you were the only thing keeping your papers visible in front of you. it was late at night and you needed to turn in an essay the next day that you were barely prepared for.

you were tired and drained from school. the work was piling up and it was exhausting you. you kept pushing through but eventually you felt like you were going to crack.

“what are you doing up so late?” a stern voice pulled you out of your deep thoughts. “cyno!” you exclaimed, nervously. sure, you might’ve been your average akademiya student but you managed to become good friends with the general mahamatra.

“i have an essay due tomorrow and i barely started it,” you explained, turning your attention to him.

“hm,” the white haired man hummed. “may i keep you company?” he asked, glancing at the seat beside you. “perhaps i can help.”

“i’d love that. thank you, cyno,” you replied, sighing in relief. he smiled to himself, taking his seat.

cyno was a great help, he pointed out key details and descriptions in your books and helped you implement them into your essay.

even after you finished your essay, you wanted to stay and chat with him. he was so busy that you barely got to have a conversation with him.

“thank you, cyno. i don’t think i could’ve gotten this essay completed so quickly without you,” you said, gratefully. “it’s my pleasure, you know i’m always here for you, y/n.”

“oh, well thank you for that. i don’t know what i’d do without you,” you responded, avoiding eye contact due to being slightly flustered by his words. “me either. i value having you in my life. you’re a great person and tighnari thinks we’d be great together,” he admitted, without thinking.

“what?” cyno’s eyes widened, finally realizing what he said. “my apologizes. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he shook his head. “do you…like the idea of us being together?” you asked, deciding you could blame sleep deprivation if he declined.

“i..i do,” he responded, inching closer to you. slowly, you tilted your head, kissing his lips. he cupped your face and melted into the kiss.

once you pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours.

“you must be a dictionary, because you add so much meaning to my life,” cyno said. “enough with the jokes!” you pulled away, laughing over how corny it was.

he meant it though. you meant so much to him.

diorlumx productions, 2023

#—galactic.works #—luma’s 100 followers event! #genshin impact #cyno #cyno genshin impact #genshin impact cyno #cyno x reader #cyno x you #cyno x gender neutral reader #cyno x y/n #cyno drabble #cyno fluff #genshin cyno

[summersareknives]

your fic recs have been absolutely superior so ty. my turn! engraved upon my heart (in letters deeply worn) by inkpot_winters - jegulus little women au. need i say more. (also bc little women was in your top books)

taylor time! sad beautiful tragic, the moment i knew, and the way i loved you! ( i keep thinking im repeating ones ive already said so if i give u one i already said just ignore it LOL)

chat time!

drarry being a guilty pleasure is so real. like drarry and jegulus is same ship different font so u cant go wrong.

and being used as a personal grammarly by friends? SO real. my best friend cant spell for shit and ive been her dictionary and autocorrect since we kids.

okay but red converse is so james of you. i have red converse as well (i think i wore nothing but my red converse for an entire year when i was 16) but i like to change it up with my green or black converse too (i drew stars and moons all over the rubber part on my black ones because. i have to make everything in my life about wolfstar obviously)

GREEK MYTHOLOGY KIDS UNITE! this makes me so happy. truly a superior breed. i guess my obsession just bled into my academic career and here i am LOL. and dont worry, caecilius est in horto is a joke here too (at least it was in my intro to latin class, i feel like the average canadian would be lost)

love that u want to save lives. thats so cool of u. my best friend is a nursing student and shes the most badass person ive ever met so maybe its a prerequisite to be cool if u save lives.

(also wanting to be an agent after watching a spy movie is SO REAL like i swear my divine purpose becomes being a cool ass kicking agent, until reality dawns on me and i remember im just. a random person)

your top books list is so good. i love little women SM & ive heard so many good things about if we were villains (i really need to get on reading that)

also JUMANJI i love that movie. so good. and the hunger games movies ofc just classics at this point. and help the woman calling herself the kim k of businesswomen in the apprentice is so funny some people say the funniest things.

id love to visit new york too. concrete jungle where dreams are made of, obviously. the big gulp cup. god i want one too. (we have them in canada but i think ours are way smaller?)

your jewelry sounds so cool. i love the hp pandora bracelet thats so cool & rings! i love rings sm i cannot leave the house without them.

pop tarts & chinese takeout is such a good combination. perfect comfort food fr.

and a fellow cat person! i like dogs but i love cats sm. i have 3 and theyre my most favourite little creatures on the planet.

an INFJ! very remus of u. (at least i think hes an INFJ? idk i saw a tiktok about it lol) im an INTJ so im living up to my reg kinnie status.

stars is such a good choice. i will always be a star person too (and hello? im an ex-astronomy student too thats so funny). theyre just so pretty and i swear i could stare at them for hours.

christmas is my fav holiday too!! ive actually always wanted to visit london at christmas time it sounds so nice. do you get much snow during the winter? we dont get much snow here so honestly anywhere that gets snow at christmas sounds great to me.

I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHT JAMES OPENED THE DOOR??? i think i read some dumb thing somewhere where he opened the door wearing a lightning mcqueen costume and it really stuck with me😭 i guess i decided that was canon to me LOL

question answer time!

fav rarepair - oh god i dont even know. i tend to always enjoy the more popular ships. although i did read a fake dating fic where james and evan fake dated to make barty and reg jealous, and ofc barty and reg fake dated to make james and evan jealous. (a star for a summer's day by moony_reggie if u wanna check it out!) so ill say james x evan. they had more chemistry together than i would've expected.

fuck marry kill james sirius remus - GOd. i cant even answer that question thats like the hardest thing anyone has ever asked me. uhmmm ill fuck them all, and then marry them all. if i had to kill someone itd be myself because i cannot be responsible for any of their deaths THEYVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!!

place i wanna visit - id love to visit new zealand. im a HUGE lord of the rings fan and they filmed the movies there so id die if i ever got the chance to visit. ive actually always wanted to visit london too (and a lot of the UK in general, especially wales and scotland) as well as italy & greece! i visited both on a school trip a few years ago and it was a dream come true but id love to go back.

fav book/book series - another brutal question but ill try:

picture of dorian gray

song of achilles

percy jackson series

shadowhunter chronicles (yes its the incest series NO THEYRE NOT ACTUALLY SIBLINGS I SWEAR! we dont talk about it.)

mara dyer series by michelle hodkin (underrated and so good)

hp series ofc

hunger games ALWAYS.

six of crows duology my beloved <3

most embarrassing thing ive ever done - oh man. okay lets see. when i was in 10th grade i had to take a spanish oral final at the end of the school year but i am an ANXIOUS woman and did not wanna do that so i skipped my spanish class until the end of the year. my best friend was in my class and my teacher kept asking her where i was until one day she told my teacher i had CHLAMYDIA and thats why i was gone. i guess her excuse worked because the teacher never asked again. the next year any time i saw that teacher in the hall she gave me a funny look but . i guess mission success? i never did have to take that final so. LOL

favourite thing i own - i have a set of lightsabers (yes im a star wars nerd (derogatory)) but also i have the ring from the lord of the rings! my precious truly.

if my life was a movie - i truly dont think my life is interesting enough to have an exciting title. i think the best i can come up with is "the underwhelming adventures of a crazy cat lady and her books". and thats just like abysmal so.

YOUR TURN!

do u have any pets?

fav fanfic trope?

do u have any weird talents?

whats your gas station order?

fav flower/plant?

fav planet?

and simply because now i have to know, most embarrassing thing youve ever done?

fav instrument sound? (like what sounds most pleasing to your ear)

and thats all! i eagerly await your responses and in the meantime ill be over here doing a little dance.🕺

-bee

bee hello hello hello 👋 i missed u <333

jegulus little women au ??? on god , sign me up for this right the fuck now. (& little women is genuinely so good. amylaurie truther 5ever>>>>)

(fic rec for u - no bright line by lady_grey - w/ sirius being an actor, remus being a historian & lily being the filmaker & matchmaker who fixes them up. james and harry are just there for the vibes honestly.)

tay tay -

sad beautiful tragic - JEGULUS - ‘long handwritten note’ - HELLO???? mr rab with the locket?? ‘kiss me try to fix it’ james trying to tell regulus to come and come that he’ll save reg , but reg already knowing he’s beyond repair. ‘for the life of us we can’t get back’ WHAT WHAT. they should’ve been happy your honour. ‘we both wake up in lonely beds in different cities’ the different places they wake up in especially during the summer holidays. ‘beautiful magic love there. what a sad beautiful tragic love affair.’ THEM THEM THEM THEY HAD SOMETHING SO SPECIAL AND THEY WERE SO TRAGIC.

the moment I knew- BLACK BROTHERS- i had to think about this one because I didn’t think anyone of my ships would betray each other like in this song. just not turn up or anything. BUT OF COURSE ! black brothers angst. i can just imagine sirius being like ‘bro i’m coming to your party bro’ & reg waiting but he doesn’t come because he’s getting smashed with the marauders. AHHHHH OH MY GOD NOW I’M ALL HURT. ‘your close friends seem to know when there’s something wrong’ - James being all ‘sup reg what up with u dude u seem a little depresso.’ i can just feel this song. very them .

the way i loved you - JEGULUS - i love this in the context of that jegulus had to break up and bartylus begins but then reg keeps thinking of james , like to me ‘frustrating intoxicating complicated’ is something reg would SO use to describe james. (ps - i’ve heard people use this for remus-grant in which it’s remus singing the song about sirius which i also agree with!)

now chatting time-

drarry ! i love them so much ! ‘harry had never been less interested in quidditch, he was rapidly become more and more obsessed with draco malfoy’ like BRO . i know what you are. ‘the boy who lived’ more like the ‘bi who lived’

and the personal dictionary thing is so real , isn’t it? it’s always like ‘ess check this’ ‘ess is there an a in definite’ ‘ess why is there a red line under this word’ .

and yes i agree red converse is very very james of me ! i love them so much they’re very dear to me. and green and black converse ??? very slytherin of you (i think the stars are so real of you #wolfstar5ever) i actually have a pair of stars converse !! on the little flap thingy , there is a little moon stitched on as well! when i saw them i was like ‘ i must own these’.

AND YES GREEK MYTHOLOGY FOREVER !!!! WE ARE THE BEST !!! the trojan horse was my obsession as a kid lmfao. i love that you took it to the next step though i could never do latin for so long ! (and i’m glad caecilius est in horto carries everywhere. it’s a staple of latin classes honestly.)

AND YESSSS saving lives is for cool people only ? are u a loser ? do you want to save lives ? if yes then u are no longer a loser ! (and nurses are definitely badass good on your best friend for opting for that)

(after the movies end i always be in the toilets staring into the mirror having an existential crisis like ‘well i’m gonna be in the mi6 now better get to training’ then the toilet flushes behind me and i get back to reality.)

little women ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (the 2019 movie >>>) ( and yes you must read iwwv that book changed my brain chemistry forever)

AND JUMANJI JUST SLAPS SO HARD HONESTLY!!! kevin and the rock together >>> . AND THIS YEAR’S APPRENTICE is on crack fr. if you watch it , you’ll notice there’s one guy who looks exactly like the hyde , honestly. and lord sugar saying ‘i hear you own a pest control business. any tips on how to get rid of piers morgan’ LIKE BRO YOU WENT HARD.

yes new york oh my god new york seems like the place that would make or break u. (not to mention that americans are a bit of a novelty here . like the candies , the cheetos the accents >>>) AND THE AMERICAN BIG GULP IS LIKE HUMONGOUS. HUGE . I must try it. (you have them in canada ??? that’s so cool)

RINGS ARE SO COOL. makes me feel all mysterious n shit , but i do too much lab work to handle wearing them all the time.

pop tarts & chinese takeout are simply superior. i don’t make the rules??

YOU HAVE CATS ??? I DON’T (yet. i plan on getting a black cat with green eyes. but a black cat) THAT’S SO SWEET AND AWESOME AND COOL AHHHHH. cats are so adorable honestly. (what are the kitties names ? i must know them and shower them with love from me !)

and yes INFJ !!! i love chocolate , but unfortunately i am not a werewolf so not totally remus. INTJ?? you little reg kinnie i see you there.

stars honestly i love them. light pollution is just so damning in london though. (and what??? that’s such a freaky coincidence oh my god !!!)

AND YES CHRISTMAS I LOVE CHRISTMAS !!! we did get snow last year but it melted pretty fast. We actually got frost a couple days ago , but not proper snow. i’m waiting for a real proper snow day again where the snow actually stays for ages. and lmfao you don’t get snow in canada ?? whenever i imagine canada i always think of three things - snow , maple syrup & mooses. it upsets me that not all of these things are everywhere in canada.

AND LMFAO NOT THE JAMES DOOR THING ??? it’s such a funny little thing because i see people bashing him for being dumb and opening the door and i’m like ‘guys.no’ (but he defo was wearing a costume.like that’s just the truth .)

your questions -

just enjoying the popular ships and not having a rarepair is so real of u. like yes i’m a basic bitch and i just want my jegulus + wolfstar. so what?? (and james & evan?? hmm never heard that before , i’m gonna have to check it out.) my rarepair is really really weird. brace yourself. it’s pansy x percy. i read one fic with them and i thought that was really cool so i think they’re sweet to read now and then! (the fic was the secretary by pacificrimbaud btw - recced by me but do read the tags for extra warnings ik not everyone likes that. it has wild child personal assistant pansy and rude controlling boss percy.)

not being to choose between them is so real . (me however ?? fuck james marry sirius kill remus. love u moonpie but mummy’s got a job to do.)

visiting places where movies got filmed is so surreal though isn’t it ?? and a lotr fan?? my mate’s one and she gave me the silmarillion to read for xmas . (it’s going to take me at least seven months to read because i read (1) page and got confused already.) AND VISIT LONDON YESSS !! very cool here usually , as long as you don’t bump into any roadmen. (I also want to go to italy and greece. Especially venice and athens >>>)

your fave books , i’m going through one by one

podg - isn’t ben barnes in the movie ?? so many edits i’ve seen of him with potd scenes , honestly i’ve got to read the book (& watch the movie of course , to sate my desire.)

‘name one hero who was happy’ & ‘ i am made of memories’ haunt me forever.

pjo is honestly so iconic. i’m waiting for the big old series to come out now.

IS THIS THE ONE BASED ON RON X GINNY FIC ?? like the one that goes ‘you’re my sister , my blood , i should want to protect you’ 😀😀😀 but i trust your judgement here bee!

never heard of this one. but i did just search it up , and the blurb is interesting so i’ve added it to my tbr !

hp did have my little year five self in a chokehold.

THE HUNGER GAMES OH MY LORD >>>>> peeta mellark and his baby bombs my god>>>

and soc ! i would read it except i have been spoiled for a certain chapter 40!

NOT YOU SKIPPING THE SPANISH CLASSES BECAUEE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO THE ORAL??? just say me llamo been and pass the exam 🤨🤨🤨🤨.now u got chlamydia too . and the teacher looking at you like ‘damn how she get chlamydia , this bitch be getting around.’

OMG LIGHTSABERS ??? i would so fight with them all the time that’s so so so awesome. (just looked up the lotr ring. it looks so elegant!)

ahhhh being a crazy cat lady >>>> (not abysmal cats beat people anyday.) my movie would be ‘drunk procrastinator’ because honestly i never do things on time and a little bit of sippy sip does release the stress sometimes. (the things i’ve done when under the influence will haunt me. my best friend has so much blackmail material on me .)

MY QUESTIONS —>

unfortunately not yet. but i do want to get a cat , so i’ll get on that asap.

when person a smells person b in amortentia , or when person a is given veritaserum and admits they like person b. i’m a sucker for that shit >>>

my weird talent is that i can eat an entire bowl of cereal in under ten seconds !! not useful at all , but it’s weird so yes , i consider it a talent !

i had to look up what a gas station was i got so confused. we call them petrol stations here so i was like ‘tf is a gas station’ BUT ANYWAYS! I don’t even have a car unfortunately, but my chauffeur (best friend) does and obviously i abuse the best friend privileges, and whenever he needs petrol i always get a pack of gum , a can of sprite (+ a diet coke for the driver man). (this is what you mean by gas station order , yes ? gas stations in canada don’t have restaurants in them right?)

favourite flower - poppies ! i adore poppies ! + lavender they’re so pretty // favourite plant - hyrdrangeas ! (they’re classified as shrubs so they count) very sweet and nice.

favourite planet - gonna be a real one and choose my gal pluto. she’s still a planet to me , okay???

i was at a funeral when i got a phone call . my phone was NOT on silent. and the worst part ? my ringtone was baby got back , so now the deceased’s family have a memory of ‘turn around stick it out even white boys got the shout , baby got back!’ in the middle of someone’s eulogy.

saxophone ! that shit RELAXING AS FUCK !

q’s for you to answer next time you come around -

what the fuck is putin (not the president)

unpopular opinion about the marauders

unpopular opinion in life

Dream car

do you watch the apprentice?

do you believe in soulmates ? (romantic or platonic?)

what’s your hidden talent?

Favourite villain ?

ever had your heart broken ?

ever broken a heart?

(bee you know the drill by now !! don’t be too long , I’ll miss you<333)

#ess waters a plant #bee <33 #ess’s marauders x ts crossover

[pinkdamascus]

Mom asked about the meaning of dog days are over and i explained that it had no meaning basically, and then told her about the funny anecdote about the cocteau twins lady looking in the dictionary for words to put in the lyrics and like most funny anecdotes one tells their parents she thought it wss horrible bc "that means shes an empty person with nothing to say". Just completely dismissive.. I even tried to argue that lyrics arent the only important thing in a song, that theyre super influential and unique, that not all art has or needs A Meaning, but of course she dug her heels in.... She even said that she either has nothing to say or is hiding something???? (what the fuck even is that take???) I even started playing the song but didnt even pay attention.... And it just made me so heartbroken... im trying to show her something interesting i like and she already made up her conclusions about a song she didnt bother listening to, and i even said that to her but she thinks im being dumb.

its not the first time i try to show someone close to me a thing i like only to be told the thing is bad and stupid actually.. and i cant even talk about this to anyone bc everyone i know bc pretty much thinks everything about me is weird and bad and stupid anyway

#blabs

[corvidshipping]

something i have recently gained self confidence in is surprisingly my intelligence. which is like the last thing i ever expected to gain self confidence in, for two reasons.

those being that i’ve kind of lived most of my adolescent and adult life thinking of myself as pretty average intelligence at best (i kind of thought of myself as super smart as a kid but i honestly chalked that up to me generally having a big ego when i was young). and tbh that’s a common thing for ppl with adhd so that may be part of it bc my own adhd always made me think of myself as this lazy, unambitious, unmotivated, unintelligent person before i had the words to describe it and tbh even still having the words and knowledge to explain it. but it’s also an inherent thing. like people called me smart and stuff but i didn’t believe them bc i figured they said that bc i read a lot when i was a kid (as in i would literally get in trouble for reading TOO much when i wasn’t supposed to. and also why did i read the dictionary for fun), and i was good at english/language bc it came very easily to me and bc i could spout information but tbh that’s not being smart imo, it’s just remembering things. and ppl would be like you’re smart bc you learned japanese on your own without any tutor or anything, or bc you memorized jabberwocky when you were 10, or bc you would have full conversations when you were like 7 about the symbolism and foreshadowing in h*rry p*tter. but tbh? id always be like “thank you” but in my head kind of diminish it because like. it’s been a decade and im still not anywhere close to fully fluent in japanese, let alone even passing my JLPT5, and memorizing one seven stanza poem is honestly not exactly going to get me into mensa. and i always passed the latter off as me just spouting the things i would hear other ppl say back at my mom so i discredited it. and the other reason is that being very smart is just not my main goal. and holy shit please don’t take that as me saying being smart isn’t good or anything, obviously it’s valuable and a good goal to have and we should always seek to improve our knowledge and you should only stop learning when you’re dead. but like. while it’s something i value it’s just? not my main goal. if i had the ultimatum between being really really smart but not a very nice person, or being kind of dumb but being a good hearted person, i would always pick the latter. my main value is just Being A Good Person, seeking to do right even if you don’t always do perfect. being kind to people and being someone ppl can trust. i do think intelligence is a good, great thing to have but honestly it’s not even the thing i seek out most in other people. like i really would prefer anyone i hang around to have basic common sense but tbh? if you aren’t that book smart or maybe you kind of don’t make connections in your head all the time it is really not something i notice unless it becomes like, a genuine problem that prevents you from advancing or you somehow hurt other people. i really would rather hang with someone who’s at their core a kind person than anything else. so like it kind of hurt to think of myself as not smart but i really tried not to think abt it much bc in the end it is not my main goal or my foremost core value.

but like i’m kind of meeting more ppl lately. and i’ve been like, less sheltered for a while now like since i was 16 so idk why this is happening more NOW but ever since i moved states it feels like i’ve been realizing this more. i’ve been meeting a lot of different ppl especially at my job and like. given where i work you’d expect a ton of crazy smart people to come through and they definitely do, lots of fascinating conversations about culture and art and im realizing that i can actually hold conversations with them and i actually get what they’re saying even if it’s not about something i already understood. which is part of it. but also. oh my god this is gonna sound so mean. but i’m realizing that i am also… smarter than a lot of people i encounter. and i’m realizing maybe the reason i always thought of myself as not smart is because i only ever had smart people to compare myself to. because i said before i was very sheltered growing up, i didn’t really go to school (i cringe to imagine what it would have been like if i had, being neurodivergent. all the ‘smart but doesn’t apply themself’ notes id have gotten), i barely had friends (i had a few scattered playmates honestly, except for maybe one family in florida) and i never had a close one until i was 7 and never talked to them about serious things till i was 10 or 11. i didn’t know really any of my extended family. i pretty much only regularly interacted with my direct family from childhood till i was maybe 16 or 17. so like, laying it out. my mom is super fucking smart, quick as a whip and witty as fuck and she’s the reason i’m so good at language and had the forethought to speak french to me since i was a baby so even though i don’t speak it, that helped with my neuroelasticity and capacity to learn language even if she didn’t realize it. my dad is ALSO super fucking smart, spoke spanish to me like my mom did with french, knows a million instruments and always learning more and knows more coding languages than im sure of, good at math which i am very not, introduced me to a good third of my music taste (another third was my mom) which is absolutely why i listen to basically anything bc he taught me that any genre can be worth listening to, had deep philosophical conversations with me as soon as i was smart enough and old enough to start asking those questions and didn’t just tell me ‘you’ll understand when you’re older’, taught me to ask questions always even if people don’t like it. my older sisters are crazy smart in all the ways my parents are and i swear they pick up new skills the day they decide to try them. even the people i choose to hang around always tend to end up being super smart. my chosen brother is smart as hell, analyzes media like no one else his reading comprehension is off the charts. my best friend is almost through college in a fucking HARD major and every time she talks about her homework i am absolutely lost on what she’s saying and i love her for understanding it. so like. i was always thinking i was average at best because the only thing i had to compare myself to was also. other smart people. like of course i thought that. to me, my average WAS smart.

but i’m realizing basically that was really skewed. not that other people are stupid cause jesus. no. and i don’t want to seem like im putting people down or anything. im just realizing like. average is not what i thought it was. honestly even common sense isn’t what i thought it was necessarily. a lot of ppl do not make the connections i thought everyone made, or extrapolate new information based on information already given like i thought they did. because. everyone i grew up around. is smarter than me. but that doesn’t mean im stupid. it doesn’t mean anyone else is stupid. it does mean though that i had a very very skewed perception of how smart i had to be to be considered smart, and it does mean that my average is very different from other ppls. and it does mean that i am never ever letting someone try to put me down and insult and discourage me by calling me stupid or treating me like i’m unintelligent ever again. never ever again. in fact i may laugh at them bc of this.

idk. my value in life is still being nice. i’m still always gonna put that first. it’s still more important to me to care for others and share and be trustworthy and helpful and make other ppl happy than to be smart. but like it certainly fuckin helps me care for others more effectively if i’m smart cause i’ll know what to do. so i guess like. maybe i am smart

#paperheart.txt #SIGH this is long #i can’t sleep bc i keep almost getting kicked off my bed. #just a lot of realizations. growing up with stuff can really really skew your idea of the world and yourself #and the only thing that can really change it is just. going out and experiencing the world and life. #and realizing that those are not everyone else’s experiences. #i rly rly grew up thinking i was stupid af bc i didn’t know what to compare myself to and bc of a few ppl i trusted who tried to put me down

[debuggingmybrain]

reading the raven cycle series starter pack (:

#the raven cycle #the raven boys #the dictionary is bc im dumb #I just finished the series I dont know what to do with myself now???????? #imma read the spinoff book but THEN WHAT HUH #I needed to put this out into the world bc im too scared to go into the tags incase I spoil anything from the spinoff yeah

[digglesgiggless]

people: i don't get it what's wrong with tw lists in giant discord servers

me:

the tw list(actual legit things I've seen listed): men, kinetic sand, chocolate, strawberries, teddy bears, the name dave ://///

me: we're not... supposed to remember each and every one of these for every specific member are we??? that seems excessive to expect the whole server to abide by your every little need despite how little you know each other-

people: what the fuck are you, albiest?

#can we avoid saying etc while im in this chat for a little #diggsrambles #tw lists are easy to abuse #and just dumb #there is #no need for them #bc they're shitshows in a big server #and you could EASILY #instead #just be like #it's not hard #but don't expect the whole server to like #baby you #it's unreasonable #you're gonna hear shit you don't like sometimes #especially on the internet #don't try to censor every #word in the dictionary #it's discord #not youtube

[akta]

someone  needs  to  teach  akutagawa  that  you  can  give  kisses   without   needing  to  bite . 

#give him the dictionary meaning of affection over and over bc that shit is in another language #hE DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO HOLD HANDS #HE'D BE ALL DUMB AND NOT KNOW WHERE TO LACE HIS FINGERS THEN GET FRUSTRASTED AND HUFFY AND IM #also u hug him for too long and he might perish #turn into sand

[chrisbangs]

whehehehewnene

#im SO. #my dad gets home and suddenly everyone is yelling #my anxiety just went through the roof #ik its cause ive slept for 2 hours and im feeling xtra off #so im extra sensitive to sounds but its really not helping me do my work #i ended up screaming whwhejejejjeen y i k e s #ur girl needs therapy ✌️🥳 #wendmdmdmdmdd whatever ... #i ended up yelling at the to shut up cause i was doing my hmwk 😭😭 i feel so bad jsjskskksksks #they both got mad but like... they didnt say anything bc like ... homework comes before disrespect in the dictionary if #*ig #lmao 😭😭 feeling real bad ✌️😭 #i cant believe i raised my voice .. me .. whehehnsjskss unbelievable #now im shaking lelelskososlsks this is so dumb #idc this much #i wish i wasnt so stressed bynoises 😭 waaaaaaa #well at least im almost done my work #even if it does look ugly idc im just gonna submit it 🕳🚶‍♂️ #i cant be bothered to feel bad rn #anyway op seek therapy i think it might benefit you ✌️🥳 #mdmdmdmdkfmfmfmddm god 🤮 #dl #neg

[billiejoecumberbatch]

i need ineffable husbands' fics where they care for each other's wings. don't ask. i just need it

#they're great #i had to use a fucking dictionary with the last one i read bc im dumb™ and have no vocabulary on wing stuff #good omens

[captainadwen]

ranking the genshin impact characters* based on style

*ranking some genshin impact characters because my only knowledge of genshin impact is when my friend complains about the cruel gatcha gods keeping all the hot husbandos

chemistry shota

wiki reminds me his name is albedo but thats dumb. overall he looks pretty cool but he suffers from the Shota Shorts penalty of -2 points, made worse by whatever that triangle thing is supposed to be. His cute little arm bangle has no use except aesthetics which i approve of. The shota shorts and high boots combo don't even show the most dangerous organ of humanity known as “skin”. overall pretty solid tho 7/10

Diluc

looks low-key like my fave from the silmarillion but apparently has the personality and storyline of batman if batman had a drunk alcoholic pirate brother he was tsun for. his outfit is very final fantasy 8 what with the gratuitous numbers of chains and belts, which i approve of on principle. simple yet stylish, easy to replace as well. appropriate for work or vigilantism both. also it helps he looks like my fave. 8/10

pirate bro

i dont even know where to START with him. he screams himbo with every accessory. he put ankle bracelets over his boots. what is even up with his cape thing. looks so normal on the bottom but its all party on the top. i know for a fact his eyepatch is fake too. he probably went shopping and put on whatever he thought would look most impressive, but his idea of impressive is somewhere between “final fantasy extra” and “beach fashion.” also cleavage, can’t forget that. 10/10 for baffling me utterly.

venti

venti looks like a bad attempt to recall what medieval jesters looked like but with a child friendly pallet that evoked nature’s simple innocence at a glance, which may be the point but makes me want to cover my eyes in second hand embarrassment. -2 points for shota shorts in addition to whatever disaster the rest of his outfit is. his hair is the best part of this outfit and he knows it. 2/10 bc im soft for the inside of his cape and also his harp.

earth gramps

this guy’s design slaps. i have zero complaints. he probably rolled out of bed dressed like he’s on a runway. you look at him and you know he either fucks or considers it beneath him. my friend insists he’s actually a grandpa in personality with the speech patterns of a dictionary, but my brief foray into the genshin ao3 reveals he really loves... making eggs with chili, tortillas, and avocado :D. anyway infinity/10

tortilla, chili, avocado

the reason this exists. i sent “he looks like a dude bro that went beyond shorts and ill-fitting shirts“ to my friend and they pleaded with me to stop because it was true. kinda bland, the white suit is meh, that weird sliver of abdomen showing reeks of desperation for someone to want to open his shirt the rest of the way and passionately show him there’s more to life than whatever his job is. i bet his sword is overcompensating. he could put more effort into his clothes, especially if fandom is going to pair him up with total bombshell earth gramps. 1/10 if im messing with my friend, but 3/10 otherwise

xingqiu

something about his outfit slowly kills me every time i look at him. its the excessively long upper thighs, think. they just aren’t proportionate. his coat is fine and i even like it, but even just looking at the disaster that’s everything below his waist... no..... after venti this is the most egregious example of the shota shorts curse. 4/10 because whoever dressed him in the morning at least knew  to insist on a good coat.

icepop hair

proof you don’t need shota shorts to be a shota. however, in direct contrast to coat-and-legs up above, i have issues with his entire upper body. whats even with the asymmetric floating bangle...the too large asymmetric cut goodie... the turtle-neck that wasn't... he almost, ALMOST looked cool and is more disappointing for failing to meet expectations. 7/10 for breaking away from the strict societal standards imposed on shota fashion

choose your shota

i dont know their names so i will call them “the one with good fashion” and “rip his abs”

look, idk her name but her design is not bad??? i really like it she has good stile. weird pose, but no boob window, no panty shot in promo, appropriate thigh-vista with high boots. 10/10, she knows what shes doing

apparently the guy used to have abs and now he doesnt and that’s hilarious. his weird little puffy pants could maaaybe be shota shorts but im choosing to believe he’s more powerful than that and just tucked thme into his boots. wears a crop top to combat. fashion icon. 10/10 as well

#genshin impact #genshin #venti #diluc #zhongli #tartaglia #albedo genshin impact #xingqiu #uhhh #i forgot the rest already #kaeya #.... #chongyung

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth

#homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #rose lalonde #roxy lalonde #strilondes #asian american #hs #pesterquest #hiveswap #aradia megido #damara megido #homestuck 2 #text post #jae rambles #hs meta #homestuck meta

[azaraspirit]

okay i cant help myself here. this is how i imagine you and spencer meeting for the first time. its gonna be a long bullet blurb cuz im lazy. part two maybe? @spideyspeaches @babeyspidey i forgot who else is into CM lmao

okay so you met your future baby daddy in class

spencer saw you first

he was nervous to say the least

having his first solo seminar about criminology.

he was so use to having rossi with him but not today. he did his best to relax

but then he looked over the crowd that started to form as class started in like ten minutes and you were one of the first ones there, always early.

he did his best not to make it obv that he was staring bc wow you were gorgeous.

he decided to focus on you to help your nerves. whenever he wanted to run off due to fear he would look at you and ground himself and keep on going

you on the other hand were beyond excited. you had no idea what you wanted to do for a career but after you thought long and hard about you decided on criminology bc well it was the few subjects that didnt put you to sleep.

you had no idea what to expect. you wondered what your professor was gonna be like. all you knew was his name. doctor spencer reid. tbh you were expecting some old guy or weirdo. boy were you wrong.

so wrong

you never been so happy to be wrong bc damn doctor spencer reid was fine as hell and probably your age from the looks of it. he was down right beautiful and you found yourself wanting to get to know him better.

by some miracle you managed to focus on the subject and not getting railed by your teacher over his desk oops

he seemed nervous which only made him cuter. he was fairly tall with short dirty blond boy band cut but it only complemented his features. he had a firm but slender face with a jaw that could cut glass and a long slender neck that you couldnt help to want to sink your teeth into

okay that sounded wrong but whatever

you were doomed

you noticed him staring at you as he gave his lecture and you just gave him a soft encouring smile and a nod and he smiles back. boy was he cute.

after class ended you decided to introduce yourself

when he turned around to face you you felt slightly intimidated since he was like 6 inches taller than you

"hi um i noticed you notice me and well i thought i'd say hi. im y/n."

the poor boy didnt have a chance

he was already whipped like whip cream

"hi uh sorry about that um the staring. i just couldnt help but to notice how pretty you are." he clears throat. "im spencer."

you shook hands and you swore you felt a shock

you two blossomed from there

you two made a habit of getting coffee after class, reviewing the lecture spencer just gave. he was so cute. and so was his voice. you could listen to him go on and on for hours.

he was like a human dictionary, blurting out little random facts about everything. he says his coworkers find it annoying but for you it was rather endearing and entertaining. so you decided to turn it into a game. you would think of the most random thing and see what he could tell you about it.

lets fast foward shall we

"okay doctor reid its been a whole semester and i wanna know something"

ofc being the cute dumb boy he was he took that literally "uh yeah sure"

"are you free this friday?"

spencer froze making his cute thinking face. hold on hes rebooting. hes processing the fact that his former student of his first semester of teaching just asked him out

so it wasnt all in his head

you did have a crush on him

he cleared his throat "uh yeah since the semester is over guess i dont have any plans"

"good then its a date"

ofc you had to ask him that boy was too shy and whipped to have the guts to ask you out even tho he wanted to

part two maybe???

[fizzyhosh]

tagged by @kabeswaters !!!! love u big time

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? .... 3

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #onedirectionstan

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? gross Harry Styles

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? get ready for disappointment but the good thing is one direction would be to my musical as abba is to mamma mia

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i have strong ambitions but they are outweighed by executive dysfunction so lots of adults like teachers just think I'm lazy 🤪🥴

6. what’s your wake up ritual? currently it's get up at 2pm, look at discord, snapchat, and instagram, then eat some gosh darn food

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? this is so unhealthy I know grab a snack and a soda and scroll mindlessly on social media until I get tired, get up and brush my teeth, go back to my bed and put on my sleep playlist (called sleeby) and set a time so it stops playing after I fall asleep

8. what’s your favorite time of day? despite the fact that I get up in the afternoon, it's actually like 10am that's a goooood time

9. your go to for having a good laugh? I look up Niall Horan laugh complications it genuinely works every time

10. dream country to visit? Germany or Italy

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 19th birthday my roommates had a surprise party for me and I was so shocked and almost cried bc it was so sweet and bc made me anxious

12. heels or flats/sneakers? I thought that said heelys :(( but sneakers

13. vintage or new? vintaaaage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? uh idk hopefully none of my current family bc I don't want to die before them cause that'll mean I die young??? this question is making me overthink so I'm just gonna say Ewan Gregor and move on

15. style icon? this chick named mathilda on Instagram you might have seen her on insta or Pinterest she's a redhead but her style is brilliant

16. what are three things you cannot live without? music, dr. pepper, eggos

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? I sound so white but SALT I salt the heck outta everything

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Steve Irwin, Harry Styles, Freddie Mercury

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? dying while I'm taking a shower and having my family find my naked, wet, dead body falling out of love. which makes me not want to fall IN love bc then the chance of falling OUT of love becomes a possibility

20. window or aisle seat? window window window window window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? not really obsessed with anything rn but I rewatch new girl every chance I get

22. favorite app? instagram

23. secret talent? I can wiggle my ears

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i flew to New Orleans during a break with two of my friends bc they found $60 round trip tickets. We bought the tickets the day before. We literally got to NOLA at 7am and left 8pm the next day. only spontaneous/adventurous thing i have ever done

25. how would you define yourself in three words? funny, understanding, quiet

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my overalls :'))

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a jean jacket !! looks good on anyone and with anything and they're so cute

28. a superpower you would want? to make people see themselves as their loved ones see them

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? music I'm fixated on one direction and harry styles and louis tomlinson rn of you cant tell by a lot of my answers

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? don't apologize because you like something. don't be embarrassed that you have preferences

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? be unapologetically you. life is too short to feel guilty for having opinions.

32. a book everyone should read? me and earl and the dying girl

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being kind to all

34. how do you define beauty? kindness, humor, a sweet soul makes a beautiful person

35. what do you love most about your body? I think I'm proportional? like... my size and shape... I hate how that sounds but my overall body ,,,,,,,

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? crack open and nice cold soda and put on headphones and lay on the ground (it makes me back feel better)

37. favorite place to view art? art galleries the environment and ambiance is immaculate

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? Everything is Outta Reach cause I fail a lot but also I'm sHORT

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? pianoooo

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? I want my forearms to be filled with random little doodle tattoos I get over time (picture louis tomlinsons right arm, like the "oops!" and skateboard, and dumb things like that)

41 dolphins or koalas? KOALAS

42. what’s an animal that represents you? .....koala. also chameleon...

43. best gift you’ve ever received? so I need to be hugging a pillow or stuffed animals to sleep and I lost some stuffed animals that I loved and were huge and my go to for hugging at night and that Christmas my brother got me a huge elephant and a body pillow to replace them and I actually cried

44. best gift you’ve given? im really bad at giving gifts but my brother searches everywhere for this book in specific print and language and after years I found one and got it for him for Christmas. he's not good at showing appreciation and excitement but I could tell that he was stoked

45. what’s your favorite board game? BETRAYL AT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL it's so complicated and so good and I love it so much

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow and red

47. least favorite color? o r a n g e I just realized it's between red and yellow make it make sense

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore! I don't wear makeup often enough to spend money on designer but occasionally I get some good stuff from ulta then immediately regret it and go back to my Walgreens makeup HAHA

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? I don't drink either but I like the aesthetic of tea more

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pneumonoultrascopicsiliconvolcanoconoiosos because it's the longest word in the English dictionary and it's has a very specific definition and it's so extra when I was 7 i had a friend who could spell it forwards and backwards

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk!! I only like dark chocolate if it's reisens

54. stairs or elevators? stairs I'm afraid of elevators

55. summer or winter? summer

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? mac and cheese

57. a dessert you don’t like? uhhhh... umm... uh... anything with tree nuts cause I'm allergic??? I love dessert

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? I'm learning guitar !!

59. best thing to happen to you today? I woke up before 2pm

60. worst thing to happen to you today? my family all decided to a be in a bad mood today so that's super exciting to deal with :))))))

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? that I'm a really good listener

62. favorite smell? candles right after they're blown out and the air outside when it's cold. it has a smell. it DOES.

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, would it be about? the one direction boys' solo careers and eventual reunion when it happens

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? if that includes music, louis tomlinsons album walls. but if not, ehm the martian that movie makes me cry don't come for me

66. lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

67. sweet or savory? savory

68. girl crush? lily james

69. how do you know you’re in love? I've been trying to figure that out... I think it's when everything reminds you of them and you can completely be yourself around them and feel a sense of home and belonging.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? greyhound by calpurnia or baby driver by simon and garfunkel

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? h a r r y s t y l e s I have questions I need answered and I wanna hear unreleased HS and 1D music

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? going back to school so I can be with my best friend slash future boyfriend

tagging: @lupinlongbottom @outerlacy @fortisfiliae @theseuscmander @wizardwritings

#not hp #about ash #ask ash

[smallestdogswilldie]

things that probably fucked mye up as a kid include. but are certainly not limited to my dad having me watch dumb &dumber and robot chicken like nightly when i was 6 .my mom would be watching that show about wives who killed their husbands and “make” me watch it with her uhhhm lets see. my dad got pulled over like 7 times with me and my brother in the car bc he was trying to go fast so that we would havefun and thats wht i think my brothers obsessed with fast cars now . i love my dad and my kmom i dont consider any of this PERSONALLY offensive to my development . i do not hold any resentment for them.but could explain why i had the oxford fucking dictionary perfected at like 10 and now i feel way too emotionally mature that it causes physical ailments it causes physical pain iwant to close my third eye. “understanding” adult cconcepts at 6 <3 translates to at least some mento illness. it sucks when adulys tell me how brilliant i am or whatever and im like then why am i ddoing cocaine like. why am i a COMMUNITY COLLEGE dropout if im so smart

#yeti

[gg-astrology]

🥺😔☀️💓❤️💓

a rambly all-over-the-place personal note! Incase you just want to hear from me and talk to me!! I know i’ve been gone for a while so if any followers old/new wants to hear what I actually say when Im not answering posts, here it is! 💓❤️💓 

the main point so you don’t have to see any of the mess: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted! 

note: the main part of this isn’t even about the above so if u’re looking for drama or me angsting you may not find it here!! i think i sound more like im fatigued and on my last brain cells.. talking about everything and being v sappy and mellow.. so!!! 💓❤️💓 no drama. not here! not today! 

ok now, consider:

what do u guys think about me just taking it easy... i dont know if you’ve been here for a while or for long.. but I usually do pretty detailed research posts?? about topics like moon phase in astrology, basics on essential dignitaries, etc. 

Astrology ‘topics’... stuff like ‘what is x chart what does it mean’ or ‘what is x concept how does it work’ -- not about placements usually!!! 💓❤️💓Asks about placements I just answer for fun from my inbox.. but posts I actually make.. those are the type of things!!! 💓❤️💓

And well.. I just came back.. not in the mindset right now.. so i was thinking.. would u be ok/interested if i take a break from those posts and maybe post more idol astrology stuff?? nothing serious, I just want to have fun and talk about placements and gush over people who may have similar placements to us and how good they are + how we can learn from them... 

Its just fun stuff?? very light-hearted (dont talk to me about crying through them sometimes, bc theyre so good even when i see harsh aspects/them going through manifestation of that throughout their careers) -- idk!! I just want to maybe talk about girls for a while and like, ask people to love girls and support/appreciate girl groups and asian soloists and artists... 

idk!! just a thought.. like.. i’ll still answer astro stuff and maybe i’ll slip astro posts in there as well.. 90% of my blog is still main astro stuff.. just that 10% maybe i’ll do more idol readings.. it lifts my spirits and i like talking about them!! i know its a niche in tumblr, esp the kpop gg astro stuff.. but like... girls...!!! and seventeen members (im nearly done oh my god theres 3 more left!!!)

I know i put a lot of effort into the bangtan readings bc theyre like-- the semi between my usual intense stuff and the light-hearted ones so im-- probably not gonna touch them yet (for now)  -- I always have high expectations for them because they have to be a certain Standard. There’s alot of great bangtan astro posts out there -- part of that is also v pressuring. But another part is that I want to contribute to something in the community as well! That is like, new and welcomed and good and Not Bad... so... I’m holding off bc I have to have like, a week to actually write, edit, re-edit, check myself before I (usually) publish them.. so... this is ur warning my bts inner readings wont be coming out soon!! 

im just talking about gg stuff -- or other idols, thinking about twice and gfriend and oh my god.... girl groups...

I rmb I used to do it to promote solo artists that might not have gotten alot of attention as well.. I still have drafts about Bolb4.. now consider: younha... also consider: xiao zhan, wang yibo... oh my god... but what if-- idk!!! idk!!!!!!

Anyways I just want to let u know whats been on my mind!!! I honestly dont really know? I posted the bangtan answer today (with a warning beforehand) and AS SOON AS I PUBLISHED 4 people left -- to be honest its pretty funny,,, its kinda funny right?? i think its funny,,, like kpop repellent,, but also i Get it!!! its not for u its ok dont take this social media thing so seriously... its fine i do it all the time too, dont feel guilty over blocking or unfollowing someone - do it as soon as you feel uncomfy tbh its a safe place for u make it ur safe spot!!

But!! Yeah!! 💓❤️💓 Idol things, thoughts? 💓❤️💓 

And this is not related but I was looking at old questions/asks in my inbox (some that ive alrdy answered but its still there -- like 6 asks? so thats... 6 out of the current 122 asks oof) and people are So Nice and So Polite to me!!!! amazing!!! fortunate!!!! One lucky bitch!!!!! Thats me!!!! Im the lucky bitch, who?? people are just so courteous towards when they request or asks for something?? wow---

Its only like, half way in the middle of my old asks that I realize once its more mainstream astro ppl start sending asks in like im google search... rip anyone who does that i deleted the ask bc i have a faq.. my only rule is that be nice.. not playing by the rules!!!!! 

Its also a little introspective to think about it now.. how back then when I didn’t realize it was happening I carried through and answered them anyways bc like... atleast people were asking?? they’re curious?? right?? keep the public fed! there’s people out there who does enjoy my actual answer than the ask itself...but like... now that i’m back and Refreshen: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted. I’ll quote this and put it up before the read more so thats the main meat of this long rant!! 💓❤️💓

basically what im saying about all this is: don’t let people treat you that way, or anyway you don’t feel absolutely positively happy about. I’m still keeping some asks that I do want to answer/I think can be turned into great points. But marie-kondo yourself, you don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s encyclopedia, dictionary or google!!!!!

they don’t really care, and it doesn’t really matter if you answer or not -- bc they can just type in the same thing to other astrologer out there and mayb someone will hit it and answer for them. So!!!! dont compromise, delete anything that doesn’t treat u like human. Bc u’re not a bot!!!! Do better!!! This is from future nita to past nita!!! Do better!!! This is why u burnt out and went awol for like a month!!!!!!!! Dont let this happen again or get into the habit, cry to ur friends!!! Ask ur beta for help!!!!!!! Add some people in as ur admin so they can clearly tell u what is right and whats wrong!!!!! dummie you’re too soft and kind!!!!! stop making excuses for others!!!!!!! do better in 2020!!!!!

So this is my rambling over!!! Answered 42 asks in my queue, know that around 30 of them have already been posted. That’s 72 done today!! Not to mention the 30 yesterday -- I was v dumb and didn’t close the ask box, thus I had +10 asks in my inbox today but its ok!!!!!!! Let the people Speak!!!! I’ll post this PSA now and go I hope u enjoy hearing from me even if I’m just rambling -- love u!! take care of urself!!! i hope this helps or entertain anyone who’s looking to know me better or hear some words from me personally!!!! this is me, signing out!!! 

#personal #this is honestly just me rambling #open at ur own risk #its v risky #i use many exclaimation marks #and also im on my last brain cell