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#the dina love is nourishing
hunnylagoon · 3 months
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Right Where You Left Me
Pt 3: Being So Normal
Ellie Williams x Reader
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Horror pushes tears from my eyes as I uncover the corpses of your past relationships. Each of them dead and lifeless as the next. Because that is what you do, you ruin what is good and it makes me miss you less and less as everyday goes by.
Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends until you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other. On this night some questionable choices lead you to a vulnerable state where you run out of options.
Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / drinking / smoking / drugs
Part one here!
Part two here!
Part three here!
ELLIE
It wasn't as fun as I thought to watch you fall apart.
The morning after Christmas you left before I even woke, your makeshift bed made. You gathered all of the boxes of shit I collected off your dad's lawn and took off, leaving behind nothing more than a letter thanking my dad for his hospitality. 
When I came back to Northridge a week later it was like I was looking at a new person. 
Everything that had happened was swept under the rug, you lied and told the girls that you had a great Christmas. You started picking up overtime shifts, you were out more than you were at home.
I watch you stumble through the doors at five AM, makeup smeared, hair a mess and the fakest smile I have ever borne witness to, plastered across your face. You worked the closing shift almost every night and would go partying afterwards with your shitty co-workers who enabled this type of ruination.
I saw your stories too, shot after shot, In every single picture you nurse a drink in your hand or a cigarette wedged between your fingers. When did you even start smoking?
Abby and Cat didn't know just had bad you were but Dina was catching on. I remember how she would go out with you at the beginning, in her mind it had just been harmless fun until it was a nightly occurrence she started to get concerned.
It's like you've euthanized the person you used to be.
You can't even stand to be in a quiet room so you will it with nonsense conversation, hardly even words and laugh at your own jokes.
You used to glow. Back in middle school, you glowed like a candle that smelled of pumpkins and lattes, your love felt like sinking into a warm bath, comfort and security. In high school you glowed like the moon, no one could pry their wondering eyes away from your nerve-wracking beauty, gentle and empathetic.
Though now you do not glow, you burn. You burn like the end of a cigarette, the bud fluttering to the ground just to be crushed by the heel of muddy Converse. The spark of a lighter to ignite your stale menthol cigarette, slipped from bony fingers like clumsy matchsticks to the wilderness, to set what once was beautiful aflame.
Fire is only beautiful while it burns, I knew that soon you would smother yourself out to ashes.
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I've been nourishing my withering body with 50-cent packets of ramen noodles. 
I know that I'm not well, in fact, I think I've fallen off the rails.
When was the last time I got a full night of sleep? I'm not sure.
My days and nights bleed together and I can hardly differentiate the two. I hate everyone but I'm so starved for love I am searching everywhere for it, I look for it in dingy clubs and roadkill off the side of a highway, the bottom of a solo cup and the arms of one-night stands, I have even learned to lick it off silver knives. They have taken the rosery from my hand and replaced it with hard liquor.
I went out last night to forget like I do every single night. I look to the moon and pretend it is its being with thoughts and feelings, I act like I talk to it and it has said that it shines just for me.
Tonight, I will go out again. I smear glitter over my eyelids and slip into a silver sequin dress that doesn't even fall past my fingertips. I force my scabbed and bleeding feet into white stilettos that are sure to damage them even further. When I look in the mirror I feel a new sense of bitterness, like nicotine on the tip of my tongue, my face is thinning and my eyes are sunken in, dark bags hanging below the dull irisis. I cover it in concealer and bronze my face to help me look some sort of alive.
"Where are you going?" Dina asks me as I walk from my room and towards the front door, she has a tote bag packed up, her car keys in hand.
"The Monarch," I answer, it was a club on the main street, it tended to be the busiest also infamous for sketchy activity. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the tote bag in hand "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Jesse's for the night, " She says, tonight her hair is loose and falling over her shoulders "Are you sure you wanna go out tonight?"
I nod, suddenly feeling vulnerable in my choice of clothing "Yeah," Sensing her judgement, I'm already getting defensive "I'm in college, all I do and go to work and school-
"Who's fault is that?" Dina cuts me off and my words fail me, I don't know what to say. She looks at me with disappointment glinting in her dark eyes.
My phone dings and I check the notification "My ride is here."
"Don't stay out too late."
"I won't," We both know that I am lying.
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I have been many things over the years, a pirate, a cowboy, a warrior; over the past five months alone I have been a lonely girl and a saint, now I am a drunk who drowns out her worries in vodka and overly sweet cocktails.
"To being young, dumb, and broke!" Kayla raises her shot, and the rest of the group does the same. The small glasses clink together, and some of the vodka spills before we all swallow them back and slam them back onto the bar.
The central focal point was the expansive dance floor, alive with bodies moving in rhythmic unison. Multicoloured strobe lights cut through the haze, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.
The bar, a gleaming expanse of polished metal, beckoned with the promise of libations. Bartenders, clad in stylish attire, skillfully craft cocktails. The mirrored backdrop reflected the kaleidoscope of lights and the animated conversations that unfolded in this hub of social convergence.
Overhead, suspended fixtures resembling metallic sculptures add to the overstimulation.
"Welcome back," The bartender, Mitch, smiles at me, I know him by name now that I've been bouncing around from club to club almost every night. "Long Island ice tea?" He asks, to which I respond with a nod. He's memorized my drink too.
Kayla is beside me while the others have dispersed to dance or converse, she sips a dirty martini. Her beautiful copper hair is styled into loose curls, she is clad in all black, a tube top, a mini skirt and tall boots as well as a slightly oversized leather jacket thrown overtop. She looks like the definition of a cool girl.
Everyone liked her. 
"So how are things with the roommates?" She asks me, her green eyes piercing mine, she has a slight smile on her perfect lips.
"It's fine," I lied, again. I knew Dina was getting tired of taking care of me when I was too drunk to make my own way home, all of the girls that Ellie brought over hated me. I haven't been seeing much of Abby but Cat and I were actually good.
I can tell that Kayla doubts my words but she carries on to another topic "Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?"
"Yes, ma'am," I giggle. Around the curved bar, I see a woman, she's in a red top and black jeans, her hair in a mousy brown shag cut. Obviously, she caught my eye. "Do you think she's gay?"
Kayla discreetly turns to look at the woman, she turns back to me grinning "No shit."
The woman catches me staring at her and smiles at me, of course, she has perfectly straight white teeth and a pretty smile. I sheepishly smile back "Hey, Mitch?" I wait for the bartender to give me his attention "Two shots of Everclear?"
That's how the majority of my night plays out; I dance for a minute, swaying to- not really swaying, I was dancing in a way that became a hazard to those around me then return to the bar to down more drinks.
"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, it isn't one I recognize, and when I face it, I feel my heartbeat pick up. It was the woman I had been eyeing, now that she's this close I can see the freckles scattered on her face. "Do you wanna dance?"
I can't help when my face splits into a smile, "For sure," I slip off the barstool and follow her onto the dancefloor, the lights are orange and hazy or maybe the haziness is caused by my drunken state. The woman says something to me but it's drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music "What?" 
"I'm Karris," She repeats, smiling down at me.
"Cool!" I say. I followed Karris' lead with the dancing, she had a certain confidence in her. 
I swayed with each ungraceful movement. Karris, the opposite of me is attuned to the music, moved with a confident fluidity that balanced out my careless stumbles. She laughs at my dancing "Here, I'll help you out." She shouts, trying to be heard over the Rhianna song blasting in my ears.
She comes up behind me, snaking her hands down my torso until they find a resting spot on my hips. With a firm grip, she slows me down, and now I'm moving with her, as one.
My sequin dress shimmered with every twist and move, like a mirrorball, I too might hang. As the light shifts I could've sworn I saw Ellie in the face of Karris. 
I felt the liquor hit me all at once and my body became loose, melting into Karris, I'm almost limp against her touch. She's in front of me now and my arms are hooked around her neck while her slim hands lay on her midriff. 
Her eyebrows furrow as she says something to me but once again it it lost in all of the noise, I just laugh, pretending like I heard what she was saying and hoping that it wasn't something about her dog dying.
The pop song changes into some song in French, I can't make out the words. Wait, I aced every French test in high school, I step away from Karris, squinting my eyes as I stand still in the middle of the dancefloor trying to process the lyrics.
 Je veux te voir- I need you, no, that doesn't sound right. I want to see you, that's it. 
 je veux t'avoir- I want to hold you.
I want to hold you? Is that it? When did my French get so rough? I can't even think straight.
I swear on every god I was so drunk that I forgot I was in the middle of a dancefloor, it had slipped from my mind that I was dancing with someone, and all I could think about was my French classes from high school.
Age fifteen - Grade 10
The French lesson seemed to be even more boring than usual that day. Monsieur Cargin was babbling on and on about how there could be a room full of women but if there was one male rat you would refer to them using ils instead of elles. It was the same lesson I had learned every single year in French.
It took Monsieur Cargin thirty minutes to announce the project. "Pour ce devoir, vous écrirez une lettre à un camarade de classe sur vous-même, vous pourrez inclure des informations sur votre famille, vos passe-temps, vos sujets préférés et peut-être un bon souvenir. Si vous êtes ami avec votre partenaire, vous pouvez écrire avec lui sur quelque chose que vous attendez avec impatience. La lettre fera au minimum un paragraphe, je viserais plus haut si vous voulez une bonne note." Easy enough, a letter to a classmate about your self. "Avant de demander, vous pouvez choisir vos propres partenaires."
I look right over to Ellie from across the room after he mentions choosing our own partners, she doesn't meet my gaze though, she looks as lost as ever, rifling through some papers in her binder and I'm not even sure she understood a word of what the teacher said.
Monsieur Cargin lets us begin our project, everyone gets up from their seat to search for a partner; Ellie, seeing that everyone is standing up, gets up as well. I wave her down to my desk, she crouches beside it and asks "What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?"
I explain the project to her while she hangs off my desk and nods at everything I'm saying, giving me her full attention "Do you get it now?"
"Yes." 
The next day we finished writing the letters and had to give them to each other before we turned it in, I gave Ellie my letter first.
Ellie,
Je suis heureux que nous soyons amis, non seulement parce que nos parents nous ont forcés à l'être, mais parce que tu es mon âme sœur dans chaque vie. J'aimerais te parler de moi, mais tu me connais déjà mieux que moi-même, alors je vais juste dire certaines choses que je sais sur toi. Vous avez lu chaque couverture de la bande dessinée Savage Starlight, plus d'une fois. Je sais que vous aimez faire du shopping dans la section hommes des magasins parce que vous pensez que c'est plus confortable même si vous finissez par ressembler à Adam Sandler. Vous détestez les mathématiques même si vous êtes vraiment bon dans ce domaine et vous aimez l'anglais même si vous détestez les études romanesques. Vous parlez à toute vitesse parce que vous avez tellement de choses à dire et pas assez de temps pour le dire, vous chantez comme une église avec une chorale et chaque fois que je vous vois entrer dans une pièce, je ne peux m'empêcher de sourire. J'ai hâte d'entrer à l'université, nous pouvons être colocataires et décorer la maison exactement comme nous le voulons, merci de toujours me supporter.
(Translation)
Ellie,
I'm glad that we're friends, not just because our parents forced us to be but because you are my soulmate in every single life. I would like to tell you about me, but you already know me better than I know myself so instead I will just say some things I know about you. You have read every Savage Starlight comic cover to cover, more than once. I know that you like to shop in the men's section at stores because you think it's more comfortable even if you end up looking like Adam Sandler. You hate math even though you are really good at it and you love English even though you hate novel studies. You talk at a mile a minute because you have so much to say and not enough time to say it, you sing like a church with a choir in it and every time I see you walk into a room I can't help but smile. I can't wait for college, we can be roommates and decorate the house exactly how we want it, thank you for always putting up with me.
I bent the rubric a little bit, talking about Ellie rather than myself but we were really getting graded on our French comprehension, not the subject matter of the letter. Ellie read it through, over and over, nodding her head along and pretending that it made perfect sense but I can tell by the way she squints her eyes and furrows her eyebrows that it doesn't make sense. She hand hers to me next, pride clear across her face.
Ton père est toujours en colère et je pense que c'est pour ça que nous sommes mariés. J'apprécie quand tu dors dans ma chambre et que nous nous battons avec des pistolets à eau. Mon film préféré à regarder est Star Wars, mais j'apprécie aussi Hunger Games parce que vous en êtes témoin. J'attends avec impatience une soirée cinéma ce vendredi avec vous. Tu es très cool, merci d'être mon ami.
(Translation)
Your dad is always mad and I think that is why we are married. I enjoy when you sleep at my room and we fight with guns of water. My favourite movie to watch is Star Wars but I also enjoy Hunger games because you witness it. I look forward to night movie this Friday because with you. You are very cool, thank for being my friend.
I can't help but giggle when I read it over, this causes panic in Ellie "Why are you laughing, what's wrong with it?"
"I love you but you are definitely failing."
I quickly helped her rewrite it before we turned it in, and she ended up getting a B with my revisions.
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"Are you okay?" I hear Karris, she looks a little on edge, probably because I went nonverbal and froze for a solid minute or two.
"She's fine," Kayla puts her hands on either of my arms which are currently plastered to my side "I'm just gonna snag her for a minute if you don't mind." Kayla didn't wait for a response she was already dragging me away, guiding me through the sea of people and into the bathroom.
I always hated the bathroom here. The walls were black tile with white grout and there was graffiti all over the stalls and ceiling, apparently, it added to the effect, I just thought it was fugly; not to mention how dimly lit it was, there were red LED strips behind the mirrors but that was about the only light source. If you were trying to fix your eyeliner, you 
"What is going on with you?" Kayla leans against the counter with the sinks, I'm right in front of her with my arms crossed.
"Nothing-
"I just saw you glitch in real life," She raises her eyebrows "You literally froze, I thought you were having a stroke."
I wipe some sweat off my brow "My head hurts," I mutter, I've already had too much to drink and we really hadn't been there that long. My thoughts didn't seem to process. Now keep in mind that I was so insanely plastered that night that I don't remember everything verbatim, I had to take others' words for what happened.
"Do you want an aspirin?" Kayla asks to which I nod and she begins digging through her purse, she pulls out a little bottle and I hear the rattling of pills. It's so dark that I can only make out the vague shape of the bottle. She places a little pill into my hand and gives me a half-drunk bottle of Fiji water in my free hand.
I don't need the water though, I dry swallow it.
She tucks the bottle back into her purse and feels something, I see her eyes go wide and that alone begins to stress me out. "What?" I ask, with no answer. She dumps her purse onto the counter behind her and turns on her phone flash to look at each item, she snatches a bottle of Tylenol and takes the cap off just for her hand to fly over her mouth. "Is something wrong?"
"I didn't give you aspirin," She's fighting back laughter but her dainty features are etched with concern.
"So?" I say, "It's just Tylenol, it won't kill me," My speech is slurred from the alcohol in my system.
"Honey, it's not Tylenol," She lowers her hand from her mouth, pressing her lips together tight. "It's MDMA."
"What?"
"Ecstasy," She corrects herself, making it easier for me to understand.
"WHAT?" My eyes go wide and my jaw drops "WHAT?" I repeat, running over to one of the nasty graffiti-covered stalls and kneeling in front of it, sticking my fingers down my throat to try and throw up to get it out of my system before it sets in. "Say something gross to make me throw up!"
"Uhh," Kayla stood behind me "Think of your dad getting off with your grandma!"
"EW!" I shout, turning to look at her with disgust on my face. "Why would you say that?"
"You told me to say something gross!"
"Not that!" I cry, slouching against the stall. I wish I had a time machine, I wouldn't just go back four hours, I would go back four years and make sure I play everything right. Maybe then I wouldn't be drunk and high in the bathroom of a dingy nightclub and I would still have Ellie.
"It's okay, honey, It's clean," Kayla walks closer to me, the heels of her boots clacking on the tile "I promise," She offers me a little rub on the shoulder "I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and make sure you're safe."
She was lying through her teeth, and just an hour later I was face down on the bar, lulling in and out of consciousness. That is the exact moment I started to think it wasn't clean like Kayla had said. My high didn't feel like what I was told rolling was like.
At first, I felt fine and then everything started to feel off. You know when you spin around a bunch super fast and your world spins under your feet? It was like that. 
Before I retired to the bar, I tried to get back on the dancefloor just for my body to betray me and collapse onto the ground, people around me had stopped to watch me stagger back onto my feet and wordlessly stumble away.
After I lift my head off the spruce bartop and don't see Kayla anywhere in sight for the seventh time, I reach for my phone that I had stuffed into my bra and dial up Dina. 
I hear the hum of the tone before it clicks and I hear her static voice on the other end. "Hello?" Her voice crackles.
"Dina, I'm on drugs."
"What?" I hear some shuffling in the background then what sounds like the click of a door "What drugs? are you okay?"
"I don't know," My voice drags out "Kayla took it out of her purse, said it was MMA and I'm not-" I hiccup "I'm not doing well."
"What the hell is MMA? Isn't that mixed martial arts?"
"Dina, I'm not doing martial arts, I'm doing drugs."
She sighs and I can feel her disappointment through the phone "Are you still at Monarch?"
"Yes."
"Hang on," Something shifts in the background.
"I'm kind of scared."
"Please just stay where you are-
"I love you, Dina."
"I lo- CLICK
My phone dies, and the screen turns black. I click some buttons for a moment to ensure that it's dead before I tuck it back into my bra and let myself lull back onto the bar, I rest my head on my arms and look at the displays of liquor surrounding me.
I lose track of the time that passes, in my head I am just about the win the 72nd Hunger Games, it's down to me and another tribute. There's an intense fight, I wind up underneath her and she presses a blade to my throat, I get a good look at her face and see Ellie but her face doesn't stay the same. It morphs through every version of her I had ever known. When we were seven, her grunge phase, when she let me do her makeup. This is when I give up, I know I don't have it in me to kill her so I lay limp and await my fate-
"Hey," A man sits next to me, his presence stood out effortlessly. With a strong, chiselled jawline and well-defined features, his face carried an air of that old-money elegance. His hazel eyes were softened by something (alcohol, probably), drawing others into their captivating gaze. Dark, tousled hair framed his face, adding an intriguing touch of ruggedness. He is clad in a white button-up and dress pants, I can well he's a blue-collar man just from the way he sits.
"What?" I squint my eyes at him.
"You're really pretty, I thought I would introduce myself," He smiles "I'm Emmet."
"Okay," I answer turning my attention to look ahead at the liquor display, watching the way the lights shone through them. Right now I don't care to make conversation, even if he looks like Henry Cavell, I'm fighting to stay awake.
One of his bulky hands reaches for my necklace, four of his fingers are beneath the cross, pressed against it while his thumb rubs it "You're religious."
I look down where he cradles my cross and try to jerk away but my body feels too heavy "Not anymore," I mutter. I put one of my hands over his to move it off me, he takes this as an invitation to hold my hand.
Emmet brings his head next to mine to whisper in my ear "So does that mean you're a good girl or a bad girl-
"It means she's leaving, actually," Ellie pushes him away abruptly, he looks taken aback while she doesn't give a shit. She begins to gingerly help me off the stool "Do you have everything?"
"Why are you here?" I ask "I called Abby."
"You called Dina and she's on the other side of town with her boyfriend so she sent me." Ellie slings one arm around me and I sink into her immediately.
"I hate you so much," I murmur under my breath.
"Yeah, I bet you do," She is gentle with me, she's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and I'll shatter at the slightest bit of harm.
Emmet looks crazily offended, his hands up in defence "Hey, we were having a conversation-
"Borderline harassment doesn't constitute a conversation." Ellie looks like she rolled out of bed, she is in her grey sweatpants and field hockey hoodie, her hair in the low ponytail she always wore to sleep. "Are you okay?" She asks, her tone shifting from harsh to soft.
"Mhm," I ball my fist up and rub my eye, smearing my mascara when I do so, I look down at my hand and see the remnants of my telescopic mascara and silver glitter smudged on it. 
I am killing myself slowly and it is no crucifixion. 
As Ellie helps me into the back seat of her car I feel like mold is growing on my bones just to way me down to the concrete where I will surely rot. "I don't write enough," I mumble "And I'm so lonely I'm searching for god everywhere but I can't find him."
Ellie gives me a little hum of acknowledgment her eyes briefly shooting to me in the rearview mirror before looking back to the road. 
"Don't worry, I'm not in love with you anymore," I say nonchalantly as I'm sprawled out in her back seat, watching the light from neon signs pass us by.
"I didn't know you ever were." She says softly, hands on the steering wheel, she steals glances at me. The towering skyscrapers loomed like sentinels, their reflective glass surfaces capturing the myriad colours of neon signs that adorned the streets.
"I hate you," I add on. The mix of liquor and whatever drug Kayla gave me was doing me justice, I couldn't hold back any thought, they all fell from my lips in a jumbled mess. "I hope you die, I hope we both die." Ellie doesn't have anything to say to that. I think to myself that if I die in this moment, I would not be afraid, I would greet death like an old friend with a bright smile and warm hug. "I don't love anyone the way I love you," My head lulls against the window "And your girls, they all hate me."
"So which is it?" She asks, feeding into my tangent "Do you love me or do you hate me?"
"I-" I think about it for a brief moment "I hope if I killed myself everyone who was ever mean to me felt responsible." I look up slightly, using the car seats to help me steady myself "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking you home," She says, biting the inside of her cheek "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for god to call me back."
I ramble on and on, it's a miracle that she didn't stop at the side of the road and dump me onto a curb. The traffic lights painted the road in hues of red and green, and the city lights flickered like stars, helping us find our way home. 
"Ellie," I say, a building up ahead catches my eyes "Ellie, pull over!" She thinks I'm going to throw up so she pulls her gray sedan over, as swiftly as possible. I stumble out of the car, my stiletto heel catches the ground in a weird way, my ankle goes sideways and I fall with it.
"Shit," Ellie rushes from the driver's seat to help me sit up straight. I use her as support to pull myself off the concrete sidewalk completely and walk towards the church up ahead like a zombie "Where are you going?"
"To clean myself from sin," I approach the church and force the heavy doors open; I knew for a fact even in my state that this church had its chapel open twenty-four hours from all of the Google pins my mom sent me when I first moved here. 
The chapel's interior was bathed in a soft, ethereal moonlight that filtered through stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colours upon the polished wooden pews below. 
Smooth, cool stone formed the foundation of the chapel. The high, arched ceilings reached towards the heavens, adorned with wooden beams that seemed to cradle the sacred space below. The acoustics, shaped by the architecture, lent an echo to the moonlight whisper as if the very walls absorbed and magnified the prayers of the faithful.
Rows of meticulously arranged pews lined either side of a central aisle, leading towards the altar bathed in a soft glow. Carved with intricate detail, the altar served as the focal point, adorned with candles, floral arrangements, and sacred symbols. The air was scented with the subtle fragrance of incense, a sensory companion to the spiritual journey within.
Throughout the chapel, unlit candles are spread throughout. Above the altar, a crucifix hung solemnly, a symbol of sacrifice and redemption. Rays of moonlight seemed to converge upon it, imbuing the sacred symbol with a profound sense of grace. 
I try to compose myself the way you would a song or a speech and fall to my knees before the altar, clasping my hands together tightly. "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. I wake young but feel as though my bones have resided on this earth for centuries."
I am at his altar but I don't feel him around me, where is his steady hand which used to guide me?
My hands grasp together even tighter "I am filthy, I'm disgusting," I choke out "I'm all used up and I need you to help me get better," I break my hands away from their position to wipe my eyes free of any oncoming tears before putting them right back "Fill me with your purity, I will be waterboarded by your sacred hand until holy water leaks from my pores."
Ellie hangs around by the entrance, sketched out by not only the creepy church but also my off-putting behaviour. She flinches at every shadow she sees, believing it to be a homeless person who was residing there for the night. I'm kneeling over in my sequin dress, one of the straps slips down my shoulder and my dress rides up, this is the most sinful I have ever been, synthetic sunshine coursing through my system.
"Make me love myself so I have room to love you," I feel so repulsive and dirty, soap and water won't make me feel clean so I'll try bleach and matches instead "I ask for Your mercy and grace to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a right spirit within me, return my family to my side."
I search for some sort of sign that he is watching over me.
Nothing.
No sign that he is here.
The priest at my old church in my hometown had said that without doubt there was no room for faith. It wasn't doubt, it was absolution, he is not here and so I unclasped my golden cross necklace and discarded it on the ground before the altar, never again will I be haunted by a man who has failed to ever show me mercy.
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Ellie washes the grime off me with the detachable shower head. My hair is clipped up and I am hugging my knees, facing away from her in the bathtub. I feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment all over again despite everything within me that is helping to take the edge off. 
She holds the shower head but looks away to give me some false sense of dignity, I cried the whole way home from the church about being filthy but with how many times I had fallen over, she didn't want me to hit my head in the shower so we settled on this.
"I'm done," I mutter and right away Ellie turns the shower off and grabs my house robe from one of the hooks on the door, she holds it up and waits for me to stand, still averting her eyes. I stand slowly, gripping onto the rim of the tub for dear life. When I slip into it, Ellie helps me move out of the bathtub and into my bedroom.
She lifts me onto the bed and tucks me in beneath my satin duvet cover. Ellie leaves for a moment but when she returns she has a bowl in case I need to vomit, a class of water, a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of actual aspirin.
"Goodnight," She begins to shut the door but I stop her.
"Ellie?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you stay with me?" My voice breaks as I say it "Just for tonight, I don't want to be alone." Wordlessly, she shuts the door and comes around the right side of my bed; Ellie is careful keep her distance from me but unlike Christmas, we face each other. "I don't hate you." I tell her because that is all I could recall saying in the car ride.
"I know."
"Do you hate me?"
"Of course not."
I don’t think I’m a whole person anymore, I think I’m made up from a dozen different perceptions of me. This version of me, born that night was anything but pure.
I am unlovely, so please, hold me gently and do not wreck me any further.
A/N: The drinking age in Canada is nineteen! They go to school in the true north strong and free. Also one more part left to go 👀
Tag list!
@elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell
Sorry if I missed anyone!
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jinxthinks · 5 years
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TPN Observations + Tiny Rayemma
Let me preface this by saying that you are welcome to voice your opinion so long as you do so in a civil manner. If not, I will merely block you as I'm going to be on 0 tolerance for assholes from now on.
Anyways so this is something I came up with while I was briefly a part of a Rayemma discord server whilst talking to people on there. The latest chapter added slightly a bit more content to it in terms of a certain characters potential fate.
So if any of you follow me you may or may not have seen my rants on a small show by the name of Game of Thrones. Anyways that show tends to follow a formula of something happening in the past, it gets paralleled in the present day but the opposite of what happened in the past, happens in the present.
So it got me thinking. TPN is a manga with heavy foreshadowing embedded even into it's cover art. Could it also be doing something similar to Game of Thrones?
The answer was a resounding yes. There are several instances where something is done by a character in the past, that is paralleled in the present by another or the same character, but the outcome is completely different.
Isabella for instance tries to escape Grace Field House but fails to do so. Her son Ray however, manages to escape.
Yuugo was unable to save his friends in the past. Yet he was able to save his friends in the present.
So given these two examples that I can think of off the top of my head, I think the newest chapter of TPN, hints at a certain characters untimely demise.
Norman's Potential Fate:
Julius parallels Norman in the situations they've found themselves in. You can argue against it but both were willing to sacrifice a group of people for the greater good because they considered it to be the only way to end their given dilemmas.
Julius made a sacrifice of humans to the demons so that the rest of the humans and himself, could escape the hellish world they currently lived in.
Norman wants to sacrifice all of demon kind through genocide, despite Emma having presented him with a peaceful solution that would be beneficial to both parties.
Since Julius is Norman's parallel in the past and he survived, it stands to reason that Norman will not. He will be betrayed by his friends and will not survive. This isn't Norman hate. I'm merely stating an observation.
Rayemma Potential:
Back to Isabella for this one. Isabella loved Leslie that's no secret to anyone whose read or watched the first arc of TPN. Sadly however, that never came to be as he was shipped off and became yet another piece of meat to nourish rich demons bellies.
So it stands to reason that if Ray fell for someone, that he would actually end up with them and have his #happyending.
Thank you so much to @xgiigiix for pointing this one out to me. Changed it up a bit though because it didn't quite work they way they meant it. But Yuugo couldn't save the girl he loved, but Ray was able to save Emma from the same situation.
This addition comes thanks to @piccolofuoco where they noticed something about the ships that have failed in the manga. The ships that have failed, have always been comprised of a 'soft' person (Leslie, Dina) and a cheerful one (young Isabella and Yuugo). The soft one would be Ray and the cheerful one would be Emma. In the past something would always happen that prevented ships like that from sailing. So it stands to reason that this time the stars will align and the ship will sail.
I made a post on why I think that Ray could potentially like Emma and well my handhold one adds a bit more on to that as well. So Rayemma potential shot up quite a bit.
Anyways that's pretty much it. Once again please be civil if you're going to disagree.
Edit: I've edited this post several times already because I was up at 2 a.m. making this and I was half asleep so it's definitely not one of my best but I try it okay? 😂 Just thought I'd point that out. Lol.
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The Erens and the Jaegers: Observations from Chapter 88 in hindsight
I was looking through this chapter again and noticed a lot of things very pertinent to recent events.
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Kruger’s remarks on what would have happened to Dina if Marley knew her heritage parallel exactly what the SC are doing to Historia now. Eren’s decision to save her from that fate echoes the actions of his namesake, whose memories he holds - though our Eren means to save her from the Titan fate as well.
These parallel tactics between the two sides strongly emphasise the moral ambiguity of the conflict, something that Kruger admits himself.
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The age of moral posturing is over. Now, everyone is revealed to be fighting in their own interest. Whether Reiner or Eren is a hero or a mass murderer all depends on the audience and of course, the victor, who writes the history books. Moral certainty disintegrates when one realises the enemy they must fight is human too, and relativity sets in. 
Even so, if you lose you’ll die, but if you win you’ll live. And if you don’t fight, you can’t win. So...
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...Regardless of what you once thought ‘right’. It’s a battle to survive, and it always has been.
This problematisation of Eren’s way of thinking is paralleled by Grisha. Just as the two Erens parallel, so do the two Jaegers.
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Kruger tries to appeal to Grisha’s masculine pride and the sense of humiliation under Marley’s domination that drove him. But that way of thinking is long since past, as Grisha recognises his own moral impurity and can no longer use that pride to vaunt himself over his enemies.
So it was with Eren, who would often talk about the humiliation of living under Titan dominance.
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And even when Carla was berating him, she would still nourish that same sense of pride rooted in masculinity.
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We see how these words affect Eren when later on he admits to being jealous of Mikasa, in large part because he felt like he had to be strong enough to protect her, but so often ended up being protected instead. But it takes that pride to be dragged through the mud before he can admit to that, when he, like Grisha, is forced to admit his own imperfections.
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All the insecurities he’s felt are confirmed to him, and he feels the real weight of the blood on his hands. Eren’s core beliefs are shaken time and time again, by the Marley revelation most of all. And now even his dream of annihilating every last titan is rendered impossible.
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Facing up to the truth has changed Eren forever, just like it did with his father.
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Whether the fight for freedom is worth all the deaths that come about because of it is a question Eren is constantly asking himself, and in the state he’s in now, I’m sure he would agree with Grisha. He can’t hate anything anymore either.
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But even if he’d rather have never looked for freedom in the first place, since he has started on this journey, he feels he has no choice but to stop until he’s achieved it.
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And his freedom doesn’t mean Eldia’s freedom - he has proven with Armin and Historia that he will wreck the plans of the SC for the sake of protecting those close to him, because a threat to his loved ones from within is just as much a threat to his freedom as from without. Freedom is survival, survival is freedom. And at war, these things cannot be universal.
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Like Kruger, Eren has always wanted to become strong enough to protect others, since Carla told him to as a child, and even more so when Hannes told him his mother died because he wasn’t strong enough.
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This attitude means that every time he fails to do so, he loads the blame on himself, and it’s a huge component in his current desperation to prevent it from happening again to the people he cares about.
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Kruger’s physical similarity to Eren as a child makes us bear Eren in mind when Kruger says this. He’s saying that he still lives life terrified of the enemy and of his loved ones being taken from him, and that’s why he does what he does. If Kruger is looking at the world through a crack in a door, then Eren is looking at it from Hannes’ back, watching his mother be devoured.
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But even with all the blood and loss that comes with the pursuit of freedom, Kruger affirms it as worthwhile regardless, so long as it is seen through - which is what Eren is doing now. The rage rooted in hubristic pride is ultimately unimportant, as Eren says while extolling Armin.
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It’s the dream of freedom that remains worthwhile. One that Eren still fights for, even now. 
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And when you have to fight for it, freedom is the enemy of peace.
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thisdaynews · 5 years
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World Athletics Championships 2019: Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce on motherhood, hair and medals
New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/world-athletics-championships-2019-shelly-ann-fraser-pryce-on-motherhood-hair-and-medals/
World Athletics Championships 2019: Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce on motherhood, hair and medals
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Double Olympic champion Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce has become one of the greatest athletes in history
World Athletics Championships 2019 Venue: Doha, QatarDate: 27 September – 6 October Coverage: Follow live coverage across BBC TV, radio, online, mobile app and the BBC iPlayer
Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce knows more than anyone about the sacrifices needed to become a seven-time world champion.
But missing her son Zyon’s first nursery sports day in April hit particularly hard for the Jamaican sprint superstar.
“He goes to daycare and I missed his first race because I was in Grenada for my first meeting [where Fraser-Pryce opened her 2019 campaign with a sluggish 11.20 seconds] so it was very painful for me,” she said.
“My husband was at the race and he video-called me – everybody was excited, shouting ‘here comes baby rocket!’ He just stood there when they started the race, so I was like ‘What’s happening? Go! Run Zyon, run!’
“I was screaming and having a lot of fun and my husband won the parent race so we salvaged some of it. I’ll definitely do that race one day – warm up, spikes and all. I’m waiting for it now.”
It is difficult to think of a track and field athlete who personifies happiness quite as much as Fraser-Pryce, who is arguably Britain’s Dina Asher-Smith’s main threat in 100m.
Fraser-Pryce, the 2019 joint world leader over 100m, cites the distractions and joys of both motherhood and her beauty business as the reasons behind her renewed level of fitness, dazzling smile and infectious laugh.
She has returned to athletics after her maternity leave in 2017 with a more relaxed attitude to the sport, and the 32-year-old is in a promising position to add to her global medal collection at the World Championships in Doha, which start on Friday.
Having scorched to 2008 Olympic 100m glory at the tender age of 21, the 5ft tall Fraser-Pryce went on to retain her Olympic crown in 2012, before claiming bronze at the 2016 Games to become the first woman in history to win three consecutive Olympic 100m medals.
She is also the first woman to win three World Championship 100m titles, courtesy of victories in 2009, 2013 and 2015, and is the fourth-fastest 100m runner of all time with a blistering 10.70, which she clocked in 2012.
Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce celebrates won 100m gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics
For all that she has achieved on the track, the Kingston native says her greatest achievement is her son.
“He gives the energy in my life and makes everything easier, and he gives me that extra motivation to keep going,” Fraser-Pryce said.
“Motherhood is time-consuming and a lot of work but I have a great team – my husband and I definitely see eye to eye on what’s important and getting the balance right between family life and track, and we make it work and make time for each other.
“I get home from practice and sometimes my son is exhausting but it’s something I wouldn’t trade for anything else because he’s actually made me better at what I do and a lot more relaxed by remembering that after a race, there’s still more to life.”
Fraser-Pryce missed the last World Championships in London in 2017, with Zyon born the day after the women’s 100m final.
A mere 11 months after giving birth, Fraser-Pryce sped to a swift 10.98 to rank 10th in the world last year, and she says her renewed enjoyment for the sport is thanks to her son.
“He brings the excitement to my training and it’s a huge blessing to have my son watch me,” she said, having recently released a children’s book called ‘I am a promise’, based on the life lessons she has learned as an athlete.
“Zyon goes to the track – he loves to get in the long jump pit with sand in his hair as I run by, and all I can tell my team-mates is ‘don’t let him run across the track’ because he’s pretty fast. He makes training lighter for me and it’s fun.
“I once put my medals on him to try and get a picture and he was just like ‘No!’ because they’re heavy and were weighing him down – but give him a football and he’s all over it.”
Targeting both the 100m and 200m events in Doha next week, Fraser-Pryce will face stiff opposition from triple European sprint champion Asher-Smith and her Jamaican team-mate Elaine Thompson – the Olympic champion in both disciplines and with whom she shares the 100m world leading time of 10.73.
Fourth in the 2017 world 200m final, 23-year-old Asher-Smith caused a surprise by beating Fraser-Pryce over the shorter event in Brussels earlier this month, during a superb season which has also brought her additional Diamond League wins over 200m in Doha and Stockholm, and impressive runner-up spots in Rome (100m), Lausanne (100m), London (100m), Birmingham (200m) and Zurich (200m).
The 27-year-old Thompson has been victorious in Rome (100m), Paris (100m) and London (200m), in addition to claiming the Jamaican national titles in both events this summer.
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Asher-Smith finishes second in women’s 100m final
Fraser-Pryce – a world 200m champion in 2013 – has enjoyed victories over 100m in Lausanne and London, and remains confident despite the younger generation snapping hard at her heels.
“I’ve been doing this a very long time and I’m getting older, so it’s a real privilege to be able to run with such great ladies,” she said.
“But I also always make sure I bring the fire and jump right in – Doha is a big one for me and I’m enjoying each day and the process, and trusting that God has something great in store.”
Whatever happens on the track in Doha, Fraser-Pryce will be sure to make a separate statement. She is known for frequently changing the colour of her hair during the track season and takes great pride and enjoyment from it, especially at major championships.
Having showcased pink hair at the 2013 World Championships in Moscow, she then went on to launch her own hair business. She sported a green hairstyle at the 2015 edition in Beijing and has since opened a salon.
“My coach says I like hair more than running and he’s right because I get so excited to colour my hair, especially for championships,” she said.
“I’m excited for the colour I’ll wear for Doha and sometimes I get so into it all, I forget I’m going there to run.
“I have a hair line and shampoo, conditioner, soaps – the whole works. It’s a big passion for me, I believe that your hair’s an accessory and you can do so many things to it. I want to be able to accentuate the beauty of any woman no matter what you choose to do with your hair and at the same time, nourish what you have underneath your wigs, extensions or braids.
“Hair is definitely something that makes me happy and more bubbly, it brings out that glow in me.”
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Dabur International - The most trusted Brands
Dabur International has made a significant impact in its product and process development that continues to set an extremely high yardstick in terms of quality standards.
Owing to the diversified product portfolio and their commitment to provide nature based solutions for a holistic lifestyle, they have now expanded globally. Speaking about hair care and healthcare products, Dabur remains the eternal household name in many parts of the world.  It has expanded into key consumer categories like skin care, oral care, hair care and Baby Care products and brands like Dabur Amla products, Vatika Naturals Hair oil, Dermoviva Baby care products, Dabur Herbal Oral Care Products.
A Dabur Amla hair care product has created a special place in women’s heart worldwide, as the trusted brand for hair nourishment. Dabur products in UAE have been featuring prominent Arab celebrities such as Dina Hayek, Dorra Zarouk in its marketing campaigns.
Dermoviva Baby Care products cater to your new-born’s delicate skin and hair nourishment. With the goodness of Olive oil “a magical ingredient” and nature’s finest herbs in each product, your baby is gently cared in the most natural way. DermoViva Baby Massage Oil is perfect for newborns and babies as it restores moisture while giving them a much needed massage with your loving hands.
The entire range of Dabur Herbal Oral Care Products is formulated with unique blend of specialized herbs and is devoid of fluorides and other harmful chemicals. Miswak Herb is a rare, wonder herb that delivers incredible Oral Care benefits. Dabur brings this wonder herb in the form of Dabur Herbal Toothpaste.
Through its comprehensive range of products, Dabur has touched the lives of all consumers, in all age groups, across all social boundaries and has truly bridged the gaps by transcending borders.
Reference Link - https://daburinternationalproducts.blogspot.com/2019/08/dabur-international-most-trusted-brands.html
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happyrawreny · 5 years
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Fruit is a fantastic source of nourishment for our body, but coupled with greens it gives you much more complete nutrition according to raw vegan doctors Karin and Rick Dina @drkarindina ⁣ I warmly recommend to balance your fruity lifestyle with greens, veggies and small amounts of nuts and seeds if you want to be successful on the raw vegan lifestyle long term. But at the same time I am open to new information and would love to learn from your experience with fruit-only diet. And I see how it can be more successful in the tropics. So if you experienced eating only fruit for over a month and especially several years, please let me know how it went for you. Thank you! 🙏🏼🌸💕 Smoothie from bananas, loquats, parsley and arugula. Topped with blueberries and wild strawberries from our garden. ❤️🍓 https://www.instagram.com/p/ByXyiyJD3h8/?igshid=s9x7uvgjkfd
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Let's see what's inside the Summer '18 Mantra Box
Labor Day Weekend has come and gone, and just like that it's almost the end of summer! It's also the perfect time to unveil the surprises packed inside the Summer 2018 Mantra Box®. The YBC Mantra Box® is quarterly discovery box that gathers health and wellness goods from small business that we feel have the YBC® community's best interest at heart. Each product, and the company behind it, is chosen because we feel it has the elements to inspire your practice, fuel your body and engage your mind, and we really hope you enjoy! Check out the video below to see all of the surprises we included, and read below to find out more about the companies and their efforts and inspiration behind their products, as well as the discount for YBC® readers. Please comment below to let us know what you'd like to see featured in a YBC Mantra Box® and don't forget - you can already pre-order next quarter's box!
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Vital Proteins
Company: Vital Proteins
Founder: Kurt Seidensticker
Why the company was started: Vital Proteins was created to help others live their best lives through sustainably-sourced, clean collagen protein. As we begin to age, our body's ability to produce collagen begins to decrease, leading to some of the ailments we face as we get older. Supplementing our diets with collagen is just one natural way to help combat this process - and Vital Proteins' collagen powders are an easy, near effortless way to do so.
What the company does to give back: At the very core of the Vital Proteins mission is a commitment to helping others live full, vibrant lives – a commitment that stretches far beyond the products we produce. We believe everyone should have an opportunity to flourish, and we recognize the importance of partaking in this promise through community-based charitable work with the Primo Center for Women and Children.
Product included in box: Matcha Collagen 
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off
Retail value: $4
Instagram: @vitalproteins
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BaeBlu
Company: BaeBlu
Founder: Moriah Rader
Why the company was started: BaeBlu was born to revolutionize a paradigm shift in the beauty industry. We've harnessed the power of nature to create a skin care and cosmetic line free of damaging toxins. Our commitment is to YOU, to our ENVIRONMENT, and to our PLANET.
What the company does to give back: I believe that giving back doesn't just necessarily mean donating money or products. As a start-up, we haven't had a lot of extra room to donate either of those things. We did a small donation of products last year to an event called Project Pink. All the proceeds from the raffle items go to helping people with Cancer. That was so amazing to be a part of, even as we were starting out. This year BaeBlu is going to take care of a family for Christmas. We will go all out and provide food, necessities like clothes, and some fun stuff for the family (and a pet toy if they have a pet!). My goal is to increase that number every year. My business partner and I are also going to hand out food at a local food bank during the holidays. We realize that even though money in a start up is tight, we can still make an extra effort by donating our time to others in need. Our long term goal is to start our own foundation with the focus being on helping children. We've heard of really cool programs thus far that build schools abroad, or help people get clean drinking water etc. We would love to sponsor a trip like this in the future, and then hopefully one day have our own foundation where we do this at a much larger scale.
Product included in box: Natural Vegan Eye Pencil
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off
Retail value: $12.99
Instagram: @BaeBluBeauty
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DrawingBoardShop
Company: DrawingBoardShop
Founder(s): Co-founders Erika Prafder and Dina Jacobs. Co-founding artist, Wendy Welz
Why the company was started: While our dad was ill, my sister and I encouraged our mom, and first art teacher to paint as a positive distraction. She did, and it became a coping tool during a hard time. Impressed by her art, we decided to share our mom's creative gifts with the world. Through our e-commerce and content site, our first line of note cards celebrates the beauty in, and every day gifts of life.
What the company does to give back: Select cards are delegated as "Cause Cards," which means, we donate a portion of profits from such items to causes we support.
Product included in box: Yoga Note Cards
Code: YOGA10 for 10% off
Retail value: $4.50/individual card/envelope
Instagram: @drawingboardshop
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Company: Clever Yoga
Founder: Ellie Teng
Why the company was started: As a very active yogi, I know yoga practice can benefit everyone who is open minded and willing to improve their lives. It can be a challenge to pick up the right yoga props and accessories with quality and affordability. We combine meticulous market research with strict quality control and testing to create high quality products at affordable prices. I want to provide all level yogis the best products and services. The products should be environmental friendly on the way too.
What the company does to give back: Very actively involved with Annie Okerlin's Exalted Warrior Foundation by donating our new product launch proceeds to the foundation monthly. The Exalted Warrior Foundation facilitates an adaptive yoga instruction program that is designed for wounded warriors in the active military, veteran hospital facilities, and veterans within communities around the country. We recently also involved with Garrison Elementary School Fundraiser project and are happy to help. We will continuously help our community in our capability.
Product included in box: Mat strap
Code: YBC15 for 15% off
Retail value: $9.49
Instagram: @gocleveryoga
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Spicely Organics
Company: Organic Spices Inc. DBA Spicely Organics
Founder: Bijan Chansari
Why the company was started: Spicely Organics, a family owned business, brings creative thinking to the Organic Industry with, eco-friendly packaging and marketing prowess to “the longest standing food business on the planet”. Our core: Spicely Organics features a wide variety of Organic and Gluten-Free spices, from around the world, that allows families to feel creative in a culinary sense and empowered by good health in the kitchen. Shortly, Spicely Organics embraces sustainable, eco-friendly and ethical ­practices – always.­
What the company does to give back: We believe in creating good, feeling good, being good. We believe in caring as much as you do. We believe in nourishing the mind, body, and the earth. The way we do this is by supporting and partnering with small, independent farms. We use renewable energy to run the factory.  0.25% of sales go to charities to help children without homes.
Product included in box: Organic Poultry Seasoning + Vegan - Organic Herbs de Provence Seasoning
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off
Retail value: $2.99
Instagram: @spicelyorganics
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Welo
Company: Welo
Founder(s): Stef Prodea and Jack Baker
Why the company was started: Jack was always creating these amazing functional foods that were high in protein, low in sugar and high in fiber. At the same time, Stef was having digestive issues, so she visited a naturopath – this appointment changed her life because she learned that everything starts in the gut, all of her other symptoms she was experiencing were related to my gut health. She started taking probiotics and noticed changes within a few days. While she loved the changes, she didn’t love the price and wouldn’t always remember to take the supplements. Combining Jack’s love for creating functional products, with Stef’s love for probiotics the idea for Welo was born!
What the company does to give back: Welo donates a portion of all products sold to water wells or food distribution projects in Kikima, Kenya.
Product included in box: Probiotic Bars
Code: YOGA20 for 20% off
Retail value: $2.99 
Instagram: @drinkwelo / @welokids
Amazon: Amazon Prime Welo Bars 
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Avistar
Company: Avistar
Founder: Boris Berjan
Why the company was started: Boris looked for an industry that wasn't being served well online and decided he would be the one to make oral care sexy and innovative.
What the company does to give back: Avistar has introduced multiple products that are more natural or eco-friendly and many of their toothbrushes are actually used at homeless shelters or sent abroad for first aid relief in war torn countries.
Product included in box: Bamboo Toothbrushes
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off
Retail value: $4.99
Instagram: @avistarcare
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Well Told Health
Company: Well Told Health
Founder: Monica Ruffo
Why the company was started: When founder Monica Ruffo was battling breast cancer a few years ago and began exploring the world of nutrition, she wasn't able to find any supplements on the market that didn't have fillers, synthetics or isolates. Monica began researching the supplement market extensively - doing consumer studies, analyzing 100 of the top brands, she even completed a program at Cornell in plant-based nutrition. Two years and 37 manufacturers later saying it could not be done, Monica has created a line of 100% clean supplements that come in convenient capsule form (they are also vegan, organic, non-GMO and free of soy and gluten).
What the company does to give back: Well Told Health donates 1% of all sales to non-profit organizations that provide fresh fruit and vegetables to families in "food deserts". These are areas in North America that don't have fresh produce available within convenient traveling distance.
Product included in box: The Energy Booster and Sleep Booster samples
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off
Retail value: $1.49
Instagram: @welltoldco
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Michele's Granola
Company: Michele's Granola
Founder: Michele Tsucalas
Why the company was started: In her early 20’s, Michele spent a coastal New England summer waiting tables and devouring fresh-baked granola bars from the neighborhood bakery. When she returned home to Maryland, she missed the granola even more than the beach and began experimenting with her own homemade cereal baked with quality ingredients and no filler. Granola-making became her favorite hobby, and it wasn’t long after launching at a farmers market that she had a booming business. Today, Michele and her team of 40 prepare about 12,500 pounds of award-winning granola each week in her small batch bakery in Timonium. The company distributes it to more than 500 natural food retailers, food service facilities and online.
What the company does to give back: We believe everyone deserves good food. That’s why Michele created the Give One for Good Food® program through which we donate 1% of our sales, as well as employer-paid volunteer time, to organizations leading the way towards a healthier, more equitable food system. To date, we’ve donated over $50,000 to help nourish and unite people with nutritious, fresh, local food. We are also committed to treading lightly on the Earth: Our bakery facility is powered with 100% wind power, and we divert as much waste from landfills as possible by recycling and composting. We source local, organic and GMO-free ingredients, which are grown through agricultural practices that promote long-term environmental sustainability.
Product included in box: Michele's Toasted Muesli
Code: YOGA15 for 15% off (9/30 exp.)
Retail value: $2.00
Instagram: @micheles_granola
from Blog - YOGABYCANDACE https://ift.tt/2Q0XFUN via IFTTT
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dinafbrownil · 4 years
Text
‘I Wasn’t Eating’: Senior Twin Sisters Battle Pandemic Anxiety Together
EAST ST. LOUIS, Ill. — Ethel Sylvester dialed 911, trembling with fear. The 92-year-old felt hot. She thought turning off her thermostat could fix the problem. That didn’t help.
Alone in her apartment, in the middle of the night, Sylvester didn’t know what was happening to her body. She feared it was COVID-19. Her neighbor and twin sister, Edna Mayes, had no idea her best friend was in trouble.
“I couldn’t get to the door,” said Sylvester, recounting last month’s incident. “I was shaking, just shaking.”
Paramedics rushed her to St. Louis University Hospital where the staff determined that Sylvester had “no signs” of COVID-19 but instead had a case of high blood pressure and anxiety.
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Now, Sylvester’s children say the trauma of living through the pandemic has taken a toll on their mother’s mental health. The onslaught of coronavirus news and warnings had consumed Sylvester’s thoughts, her daughter Ruth Sylvester explained.
Because watching the news made the twins upset, they stopped. Still, the fear of contracting the virus continued to overwhelm Sylvester.
She tried to toss medicine into her mouth without touching her face. Instead of sipping water from a cup or using a straw, Sylvester said, she poured it down her throat to avoid contact with her dishware, and somewhere along the way she decided that canned soup was the safest thing to consume during the pandemic.
In need of more nourishment, she became weak. She weighed 113 pounds when she was released from the hospital in March. Her daughter Myra Ward said her mom had lost about 15 pounds.
“I wasn’t eating because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do,” Sylvester said. “I wasn’t washing my face or nothing like that.”
She had reason to be worried. Older people are dying of COVID-19 at higher rates worldwide. And, in Illinois, people of color like Sylvester and Mayes, who are black, accounted for at least 48% of confirmed COVID-19 cases and 57% of deaths as of Wednesday, while making up only 39% of the state’s population.
But Sylvester desperately needed help. The paranoia itself was what was hurting her, she and her family now say.
Her twin sister, Edna Mayes, noticed how excessive Sylvester’s cleaning regimen had become. Sylvester, a former housekeeper who’s always kept a tidy house, admitted she couldn’t stop wiping things down. Every time she touched her remote control, for example, Sylvester would clean it, then wash her hands.
“Ethel would go overboard,” said Mayes, sitting next to her sister. “She’s still doing it.”
By the time Sylvester’s daughters traveled from Texas to check on her health, Sylvester’s hands were worn and dry from constant washing. Her daughter tried to rejuvenate them with oil.
“She was extremely paranoid,” Ward said. “She didn’t know what she could touch.”
Sylvester’s anxiety is not uncommon. Nearly 50% of Americans feel anxious about the possibility of contracting COVID-19, according to a poll released last month by the American Psychiatric Association. More than 60% are worried about friends or family members becoming infected.
As COVID-19 continues to spread, Sylvester doesn’t want to replace the in-home care worker she lost a few months ago because of concerns about having a new person in her home. And her sister might lose her regular care provider amid uncertainty in the home health care industry.
So these two sisters are also relying on family and each other, just as they’ve done since they were children, while community volunteers and health professionals in East St. Louis come up with a game plan to help seniors and families in need.
“Our daddy denied us, so, coming up, we had to be close,” Mayes said. “We’d love each other if didn’t nobody else loved us.”
Ethel Sylvester holds a photo of herself and her twin sister, Edna Mayes, as children.(Cara Anthony/KHN)
Their mother taught the twins to look out for each other. The sisters became neighbors two years ago when Mayes moved into the public housing complex that Sylvester has called home for more than 60 years. Their version of FaceTime doesn’t require a camera. Instead, Mayes walks to her back door when they’re on the phone. That way they can wave at each other.
“We love each to death,” Sylvester said. “We’re normal, healthy twins. We never hit each other, never cuss each other. We have disagreements. We never went to bed mad.”
Lately, sleepovers have solidified their bond. Mayes spends the night in a chair at Sylvester’s apartment, watching over her sister as she regains her strength. A neighbor takes the day shift.
A granddaughter cooks for them each week. And Sylvester’s 63-year-old son, Sanchez Sylvester, who also lives in the same housing complex, helps them with food, too, even though he has underlying conditions that put him at risk.
Sanchez Sylvester said he understood how concerned his mother was the day she tried to disinfect him with bleach and water as he entered her house.
“She said, Hold it right there,” her son recalled. “She sprayed me!”
That’s why he’s trying to point out positive stories of recovery to his mother and aunt.
His sister, Myra Ward, meanwhile, said she often offers to relocate her mom and aunt from East St. Louis to San Antonio, Texas. The sisters always turn down the invitation.
They don’t want to leave East St. Louis or the Samuel Gompers Homes public housing complex that is home. But as a longtime advocate for residents of East St. Louis, Ethel Sylvester hopes more people will take time to listen to the needs of seniors long after the pandemic ends.
“With all of this stuff going around, we old folk feel lost,” Sylvester said. “We don’t know where we are going and we don’t know what to do.”
from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/i-wasnt-eating-senior-twin-sisters-battle-pandemic-anxiety-together/
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seniorbrief · 5 years
Text
15 Weight-Loss Motivation Mantras from People Who Successfully Slimmed Down
“I love you beautiful, toned, healthy ______. I’m happy you are mine.”
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, Shutterstock
“I say this mantra to every section of my body as I shower, and especially when I am applying my moisturizer. I say it to my legs, hips, bottom, stomach, arms, and even my face. Once I found out that the cells in our bodies have intelligence, I vowed to connect with my parts in loving ways and to never criticize them. I am 100 percent confident that this activity has been a major supplement to my healthy lifestyle choices.”—Elle Swan who lost 67 pounds
“Humans aren’t supposed to eat junk food.”
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, Shutterstock
“With so much high-carb, decadent fare around us all the time, it’s easy to assume that it’s our birthright to indulge in it. Instead, I remind myself that, just because the standard American diet revolves around bagels, sandwiches, sodas, and breakfast pastries, doesn’t mean we should eat it. After all, this refined sugar- and flour-rich food doesn’t nourish our bodies; instead, it offers our minds momentary pleasure.”—Dina Cheney who lost 25 pounds
“Feed your soul for lasting pleasure.”
Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, Shutterstock
“Often, I would overeat because my soul was hungry, but when the last crumb was gone, I felt even ‘hungrier’ than before. When I finally recognized this and started getting the nourishment my soul was craving, my stomach was no longer a bottomless pit that could never be filled. Now I listen to the needs of both my body and my soul so I can eat in a healthy way. I get the spiritual and physical nourishment needed to live joyfully, with kindness and ancient wisdom bringing lasting pleasure.”—Brachia Goetz who lost 20 pounds
Original Source -> 15 Weight-Loss Motivation Mantras from People Who Successfully Slimmed Down
source https://www.seniorbrief.com/15-weight-loss-motivation-mantras-from-people-who-successfully-slimmed-down/
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a-plasticine-dream · 6 years
Text
I’m sorry in advance
(This is a possible first chapter of a larger thing)
“Aleran Dinas, also known as BN11354, your examination will commence in 5… 4… 3… 2…”
My head was pounding, the blood rushing from my heart to my brain and back again. I could barely hear the countdown over the ocean of nerves in my head. This is it, I thought to myself. My chance to prove my father wrong, to prove everyone wrong. I am not evil, I am not here to take over the world or kill everyone. I will be the first cyborg to successfully become an aerospace pilot.
“...1 Your test is commencing now.” The mechanical voice used to terrify me, but after months of listening to nothing but practice exams, it was almost soothing. I had an older mod for this test, so I was welcomed by my favorite voice, Neutral. Not the whistle-toned Female or rumbling thunderstorm of Male’s voice. In fact, I couldn’t even tell if Neut, as I called them, had any gender, or if the programmers blended thousands of voices to make a generalization.
I immediately was lifted of the ground. “Gravity Test active.” Thanks, Neut, I hadn’t noticed the lack of gravity from me slowly floating around the Test Zone. Red lights flashed and a klaxon blared from one of the speakers. Oh right, I was doing something.
I knew what I had to do, and I knew how little time I had to do it in. I quickly got to work finding the tools to open and fix the main gravity controls, which were shielded by a titanium cage laced with boron nitride to prevent someone like me breaking the cage and cheating.
As soon as I opened the cage, I was face-to-face with a knotted rainbow of wires. Okay, so green and red need to be linked back in, blue is swapped with yellow, and the brown, grey, and white wires don’t matter but can get you extra points if you can connect them properly in time. Let’s do this.
I mentally cracked my fingers and got to work, swapping, connecting, reconnecting, and double- and triple-checking as I went. Once I was absolutely sure everything was in order, I replaced the cover and flipped the master switch off an on again. The “ship” powered down and back up almost imperceptibly fast, and I fell rather ungracefully onto the floor, bathed in the fluorescent lights. Looks like I fixed the gravity well enough.
“Please proceed into Test Zone Two.” A door spiraled open and I walked through. As soon as I did, the door whooshed shut. “Technical Comprehension Test active.”
On a table in front of me lay three baskets labeled Nourishment, Fuel, and Extraneous along with tons of random items. The table to my right had a bunch of spare parts I could already tell made a mini rover. The one on the left was weird though. There was simply a small piece of paper.
I went to the parts first. I knew I could do that quickly to save time for everything else. I finished assembling the rover in wicked time, faster than I’ve done before. It was entirely muscle memory, so I looked over the center table and mentally catalogued everything I could by sight as I worked.
I put the rover down and patted it on the head before moving away to sort. I knew what could be used as fuel in an emergency and had a gist of what counted as food around the world. It looked a bit different when freeze dried and without labels. The rest was obviously the Extraneous stuff, so I threw it in that basket.
Now, on to the note. All it said was “I smell a robot.” Weird.
I examined the rest of the table for clues and pulled a small speaker and a plain white pencil from underneath. I flipped the note over, which had a bunch of letters and pictures. My eyes were drawn to the words “PRESS PLAY” in giant letters at the top.
I looked the speaker over. There was only one button on the flat disk, which I assume was the play button. Sighing, I pressed the button and picked up the paper. I wasn’t prepared for this, and I don’t like not being prepared.
A loud nasally voice boomed from the small speaker. “Ahhh, I smell a robot! Prove, prove, prove! Prove to me you’re not a robot!” Was this a test put in here specifically because they knew I was the one testing? That seems unfair, but okay.
“Look at these curvy letters. Much curvier than most letters, wouldn’t you say? No robot could ever read these. You look, mortal, if ye be. You look and you write what you think you see! Is it an E or is it a 3? That’s up to ye.” What? I can tell the difference between letters and numbers, regardless of how curvy they may be. I wrote down what I saw underneath the letters.
The voice came back as soon as I lifted my pencil from the paper. “The passwords that passed, you correctly guessed, but now it’s time for the robot test! I’ve devised a question no robot could ever answer. Which of these pictures does not have a stop sign in it?” There was only two out of the six that didn’t, so I wrote their letters down in the box and looked around.
The speaker didn’t make any more noise, and the paper was full, so I assumed I was done. I neatly placed everything in its place, giving each table one last go-over. “I’m done. What do I do now?”
A small panel in the wall opened to reveal a button labeled “Finish Test.” I knew if I stayed any longer, I would only second-guess myself, so I pressed the button and waited for the door to open.
The klaxon and flashing lights came back, and Neut yelled “Thank you for completing your test. You may now exit the Testing Zone.”
I slowly walked through the door. Those sirens were making me anxious. The second I passed through the doorway, two large figures grabbed me and pulled my arms behind my back. A gun barrel was aimed directly against my forehead, the metal cool against my skin.
“I don’t believe it. Who let a damned Toaster into the test?” Oh, the gun speaks? I lean slightly over and see a greying man glaring at me, disgust etched into his hard features.
“Commander Nox, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure to meet you. My name is Aleran Dinas, and I earned the right to take this test by going through the standard procedures, lessons, and verifications. Is there a problem?”
“Don’t talk. I know exactly who you are. What I don’t know is how you managed to cheat your way through the entire test. Nobody has ever received a score like yours, and I know you didn’t get it on your own.” I looked at him, jaw dropped. A score like mine must be I either did amazing or awful, but I wouldn’t be accused of cheating if I failed.
“Excuse me? I trained and studied for this test every day for months on end. I got the score I feel I deserved, because I did my best.”
“Well, we can’t have a robot ruining all of our hard work in space though, can we? And nobody can know how well you did. You two, take this… thing out to the back and dispose of it. You, delete all files from BN11354’s test. I want everything gone. In their place, write the technology didn’t mix well and caused a lethal series of program failures which erased all audio and visuals.” Nox barked out his orders with the confidence of a man who has done this many times before. I felt myself being dragged away by the two figures as panic rose in my throat.
“Wait, please, what’s going on? Why are you doing this? I didn’t do anything wrong!” I screamed to no avail. I was thrown onto a medical bed and strapped in. I felt a needle press into the flesh of my forearm and instantly felt drowsier. A familiar voice called out “Another robot? Oh, goody, I just love the way their little brains react to experiments. Any good parts on this one?” The speaker. It was the voice from the Robot Test.
The last thing I saw before going under completely was a smiling man’s face, long and pale with brown hair flopping over. The flesh of his cheek and jaw was torn away in the shape of two hands clawing to reveal intricate wires and metalwork.
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pphsreflections · 6 years
Text
Withered
The beautiful, well-nourished flower
had a dream.
Four soft, velvety petals
swayed in the wind.
Soaked with rain droplets,
the lonely flower sat
in the dirt
until it was saved.
It had been dying for love and affection,
until it was plucked suddenly from the soil,
then handed to a human,
and brought into a home.
Now it sits on a counter with fellow flowers,
losing all of its petals
one by one
as time inches by.
Dina Toumi, Grade 9
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miquerisxh-blog · 6 years
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READING THE QUR'AN PRODUCTIVELY – A GUIDING LIGHT AND CURE FOR ALL By Dina Mohamed Basiony One of the most intimate and serene moments is when you read the Qur’an and realize that, actually, it is reading you; that it is explaining the deepest, most intimate secrets in your heart. It is amazing how this Book reads the human being, reads life and reads the universe. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) said: “We shall show them Our signs in every region of the earth and in themselves, until it becomes clear to them that this is the Truth. Is it not enough that your Lord witnesses everything?” [Qur’an: Chapter 41, Verse 53] After going through different experiences in life, I came to realize that the Qur’an is one of the greatest manifestations of The Creator’s mercy to all of us. In the toughest situations, when one is almost completely shattered and broken, going through the pages of the Qur’an will ease the pain, put things in perspective and put one back on track with a clear vision of the destination ahead. “And We send down of the Qur’an that which is healing and mercy for the believers…” [Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 82] You see, the human being is body, mind and soul. We know how to feed our body (food), we know how to feed our mind (education), but sometimes we neglect to feed our soul. THE QUR'AN IS THE NOURISHMENT AND HEALING OF THE SOUL. Here are a few points of reflection to share on reading the Qur’an and exploring the beauty within: #N1. In a beautiful ayah (verse) in the Qur’an, Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) says: “I swear by the setting of the stars, And indeed, it is an oath – if you could know – [most] great.Indeed, it is a noble Qur’an.” [Qur’an: Chapter 56, Verse 75-77] In this verse, Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) swore by the setting, or the locations, of the stars that this is a most generous and noble Qur’an. But what do the stars do? The stars guide and enlighten. In one of his lectures, Sheikh Hamza Yusuf shared his insights on this saying, that if you talked to a pilot or someone travelling helplessly in the desert, and ask them what they would do if they got lost, they’ll tell you they follow the stars. One star after the other guiding the person to his destination. Similarly with the Qur’an. While reading the Qur’an, remember that there will be ayat (verses) that are especially and most intimately there for you. They’re there in this Holy Book, to be a guiding light to you. Seek those verses. You may read a whole juz’ (chapter) per week, but there will be one verse (or a few) that will just touch you when you need it the most. Seek those ayat. Make sure you search for them and find them while reading. Those are your stars, your guide. Do not merely set a target to finish a chapter per week, yet it has no effect on you. There would be no purpose to your reading the Qur’an in this manner. Remember that the Qur’an is basically a manifestation of Allah’s mercy and compassion for human beings whom He created. So The Holy Qur’an is what you have from The One you belong to. It explains you. It explains life. It cures, guides, soothes and enlightens you. Do not rush through reading the Qur’an without reflection This is not the ultimate goal or ultimate success. The success is that it fills that time with light and wisdom and beauty, for you and everyone around you. #N2. One of the most well known hadiths in our tradition, the first hadith of Imam Nawawi’s 40 hadiths says: “Verily actions are by the niyyat (intentions), and every man shall have only what he intended.” [Nawawi] So what is your niyyat (intention)? Set your intention before reading the Qur’an. Is your intention to get extra points in your book of good deeds? Do we approach Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) with greed? Do we only want what He has to offer or do we approach Him with the niyyat of gaining knowledge – knowing that He is The Source of Knowledge (Al ‘Aleem); to get light – knowing the He is The Source of Light (Al Noor); to get hikmah (wisdom) – knowing that He is The All-Wise (Al Hakeem); to get love – knowing that He is the Most Loving (Al Wadud). Seek the nearness of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) through His Book. Ask Him to guide you, cure you and show you the light. Ask for this to reflect on your character, increase you in humbleness, mercy and desire to serve people knowing that the most beloved to Him are those who are most useful to the Ummah. #N3. Remember to ask Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) to teach you. Everything else is a means, but Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) is the Source! Allahsubḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) says in Surah Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful): “The Most Merciful. Taught the Qur’an. Created man, and taught him eloquence” [Qur’an: Chapter 55, Verse 1-4] It is Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) who teaches us the Qur’an. The Qur’an is not merely letters on paper; there are signs to be observed in the universe and within oneself. “We shall show them Our signs in every region of the earth and in themselves, until it becomes clear to them that this is the Truth….” [Qur’an 41: 53] So ask Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) to show you the meaning and the wisdom, to show you the marvels and treasures in it. This begins by making sincere dua to Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He). Perhaps in sujood, when you are closest to Him, in intimate communication. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) facilitates the task and opens doors. In this day and age, through all the means of communication, researching and gaining knowledge has become facilitated. Great speakers of tafsir (Exegesis), as well as websites and books are all available to us. These are all means (asbab) that you can utilise. Ultimately, though, it is through the help and guidance of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) alone, that there will be success and meaning through those actions. So, ask Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He). #N4. Find good company and aid one another in reciting the Qur’an and learning its different enriching sciences. Form groups of recitation, tafsir and tajweed, help one another. Also, join relevant events in your area. The time you spend seeking knowledge of the Qur’an is an investment. The Qur’an itself means that which is being read/recited often. So you need to be constantly connected with the Qur’an. Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) gave you intellect and gave you ‘ilm (knowledge), and He created this ‘Aalam (universe). In essence, this ‘Aalam is a means to reach Al ‘Aleem! Thus, we have a life time worth of learning, elevating and growing in knowledge and closeness to the Source of Knowledge. #N5. Commit yourself to reading Qur’an at a set time everyday. Take pleasure in this reading time; ponder the words, the verses and let it wash over you and grant you the guidance and cure that you seek. Remember what Allahsubḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) said in these powerful verses: “O mankind, there has come to you instruction from your Lord [ The Qur’an] and healing for what is in the chests and guidance and mercy for the believers. Say, “It is the bounty of Allah and His mercy – [that He sent this Qur’an] so let them rejoice over it for it’s better than the worldly riches they’re collecting.” [Qur’an: Chapter 10, Verse 57-58] Whatever you carry from this Book in your heart is better than the worldly riches we’re collecting that don’t necessarily bring deep satisfaction into our hearts. #N6. Make sure to carry something in your heart from the part you are reading in the Qur’an. Find beautiful ayats that affect you, then look up its tafsir, understand it well, memorize it and share it with your friends, family and on social media. It could be only one verse, but it will become part of your heart and life and effect a positive change. #N7. Remember the beauty of reading the Qur’an. Remember that houses in which the Qur’an is recited will be filled with light. Just like you remembered Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He), He will remember you and raise your mention in the highest heavens. #N8. If you are asking when to read, there is nothing like reading the Qur’an at Fajr (dawn). Every day, before or after the Fajr prayer, take some time to enjoy reading. Remember what Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) said, “…And the Qur’an of dawn (fajr). Indeed, the recitation of fajr is ever witnessed.” [Qur’an: Chapter 17, Verse 78] This is the most beautiful time for Qur’an. You will hear the leaves and birds, every creature, praising and doing tasbeeh of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He), at Fajr. You are basically joining this symphony, in harmony with nature, in remembrance and praise of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) -The Creator. Remember, that with the help of Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He), you will find beauty, majesty and ease in the Qur’an:“And indeed We have made the Qur’an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember?” [Qur’an: Chapter 54, Verse 17] BE AMONG THOSE WHO REMEMBER. May Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) fill our houses with His Light. May Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) bring us closer to Him and elevate our status with Him through reciting His Book. May Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) make the Qur’an a cure, mercy and guidance for everyone who reads it. Ameen! Source: https://productivemuslim.com/reading-the-quran-productively/ #WriteUpOfTheDay #GetMotivated #ProductiveRamadhan
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airoasis · 6 years
Text
15 Weight-Loss Inspiration Mantras from People Who Successfully Lost Weight
1/15 SLIDES© Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock
'You are who you've been waiting on.'
'Frequently we search for responses to our obstacles outside of us. Sometimes, we even blame our failures on other individuals or scenarios. The more I shouted this mantra to myself, the more positive I felt that I had exactly what I needed to support myself in my weight-loss goals. Bringing it back to me assisted me remain on track and make permanent modifications in my regimen. Say it in the morning prior to your feet struck the flooring, when you begin to talk yourself from exercising, before you make poor meal choices and while looking in the mirror before going to sleep.'-- Eva Santiago Reed who lost 25 pounds (Learn the 7 mind techniques that willassist you put an end to psychological eating.) 10/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock'I like you gorgeous, toned, healthy ______. I'm pleased you are
my own.'' I say this mantra to every area of my body as I shower, and especially
when I am using my moisturizer. I state it to my legs, hips, bottom, stomach, arms, and even my face. When I learnt that the cells in our bodies have intelligence, I pledged to link with my parts in loving ways and to never ever slam them. I am 100 percent confident that this activity has been a significant supplement to my healthy way of life options.'-- Elle Swan who lost 67 pounds 11/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock'People aren't expected to consume scrap food." With a lot
high-carb, decadent fare around us all the time, it's easy to presume that
it's our bequest to delight in it. Instead, I remind myself that,
even if the standard American diet focuses on bagels, sandwiches, sodas, and breakfast pastries, doesn't indicate we must eat it. After all, this refined sugar -and flour-rich food doesn't nourish our bodies; instead, it uses our minds brief pleasure.'-- Dina Cheney who lost 25 pounds 12/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock'Feed your soul for lasting enjoyment." Often, I would eat way too much due to the fact that my soul was starving, but when the last crumb was gone, I
felt even'hungrier'than previously. When I finally recognized this and started getting the nutrition my soul was yearning, my stomach
was not an endless pit that could never ever be filled. Now I pay attention to the needs of both my body and my soul so I can consume in a healthy way. I get the spiritual and physical nourishment needed to live happily, with generosity and ancient knowledge bringing long lasting satisfaction. '-- Brachia Goetz who lost 20 pounds 13/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock'Simply keep swimming. ''I like swimming and I enjoy the pool and the ocean. So this quote, from the film Finding Nemo, to me embodies perseverance, love, family, pals that end up being household, and true purpose in
life. It alsoconnects into my sensations that everything takes place
for a reason and the other saying,'this
too will pass.'The mantra has actually worked for my 35-pound weight-loss due to the fact that I know that, if I keep swimming, I will reach my goal and continue to live this life that I enjoy. '-- Melissa Galante who lost 34 pounds 14/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock'Stopping working to plan is planning to stop working. ''Like lots of working ladies, I typically have problem with tension and never seeming to have adequate time. It's times like that when I'm most likely to have a piece of that office birthday cake or spend lavishly on an unhealthy lunch. When I take the time to
prepare for myweek, making meals ahead of time and equipping
up on healthy treats, I see a larger loss on the scale. Even much better, is
how it makes me feel more in control of my life and less like'eating my sensations."-- Amy Knierim who lost 33 pounds 15/15 SLIDES © Tatiana Ayazo/ Rd.com, Shutterstock 'I may be sluggish however I am passing everybody on the couch." I understand I'm not the fastest when it comes to dropping pounds, but at least I know I am doing my best which I keep trying day after day. I discover motivation from the fact that I am at least doing better than those sitting on the couch giving up.'-- Jennifer Davison VanderWerf who lost 25
pounds 15/15 SLIDES
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