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romana-after-dark · 7 months

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Guard Dog

Riader!Joel Miler x Dark!fem!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

Summary: Joel attempts to raid the wrong house, and having the Joel Miller on his knees before awakens something in you... and in him.

Content and Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT Dub con on Joel (Is it non con? idk. Idk how im supossed to tag this but it's no where near the violence of tww someone help), references to non con from Joel to other women, gun sucking, fem domme, dark!reader but Joel is also dark soooooo, subby Joel, dead bodies, Nick reference (if you read TWW you know lol), multiple orgasms, overstim, dumbification?

AN 1: This essentially came of two thoughts, me thinking hmmmm how to write raider!Joel in a new way? 2. I want to avenge Little One. Joel did her so dirty and is still doing her so dirty in the dark timeline addition, lowkey wanted someone to get revenge for her. Plus, subby Joel is always a win for Fen and Maura lol

AN 2: Shout outs to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @toxicanonymity for talking me through this idea, esp Toxi for letting me use the gun blowjob bit lololol if you like that concept, I encourage everyone to check out toxi's raider joel Or maybe Jake's part in the chasing series

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Whoever it was, they had chosen to raid the wrong fucking house.

Yes, you were a single woman. Yes you lived alone. But no, you were not helpless, far from it, actually. Whoever it was is lucky they had made it past the set of boobytraps thus far. Actually, it sounded like a few of them had been taken out as it was.

Joel watched in relief as the arrow went through Nick’s skull. Relief it wasn’t him. He never liked Nick that much anyway, real creepy guy. In fact, he didn’t like any of the men that this house had gotten either. It was exhausting, trying to lead a group of dumbasses and whatever the fuck was in here it wasn’t worth it, so Joel attempted to make his exit. Thing was, leaving was proving just as hard as entering was. Whoever lived here didn’t want anyone living to tell the tail. Stepping over the dead bodies of a few of his men, Joel had narrowly dodged more arrows, spikes, darts; the whole lot, until some secret fucking door opened up like a goddamn scooby-doo house and there you were, gun to his forhead.

“Joel fucking Miller, I’ll be damned.”

Joel narrowed his eyes. He didn’t recognize you, but you knew him. That wasn’t surprising, he’d gained a bit of a reputation from raiders, fireflies and regular people. “Who the hell are you?”

You tell him your name, first name at least, and make quick work of taking out the gun in his hand. “Armed with anything else, Miller?” He said he wasn’t, but you knew that was a lie. “Don’t believe that for a second.”

“Then why the hell did you ask?” His texan drawl was prominent, especially when he was worked up.

“More fun to mess with you.” Keeping the gun pressed up to his temple, you press your body against his in turn as you pat him down for more weapons. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome.

“JESUS!” Joel jumped as you grabbed at his ass. “Watch your fucking hands.”

You can’t help but giggle; he thinks he's in charge. “You could be hiding weapons anywhere-” He tenses as you slip your hand between his buttcheeks as much as his jeans allow. “-Can’t be too careful.”

Joel was a brutal man, you heard stories of his rage and carelessness for human life, including women. There’d been many such stories of him forcing himself on women, kidnapping and trafficking… maybe he needed a taste of his own medicine? You take your time on his top half, feeling up every muscle, every bit of pudge, every dip on his broad body. Then, onto the lower. Without hindrance, you grope at his crotch and are very impressed by the size of him; and amused by the way he’s already semi-hard. Men are so easy, it’s funny sometimes.

“This make you excited, Miller? Or does it scare you to be at a woman’s mercy for once? Maybe a little bit of both?”

Joel didn’t look at you, lips pursed in a hard line.

You continue, moving the gun to his pants as you kneel before him to check lower. “I bet this is more your speed isn’t it? Having a pretty woman on her knees?”

The scoff above you doesn’t go unnoticed. “Mighty full of ourselves, aren’t we?”

After taking a knife and a gun that were strapped to his ankle, you stand up, satisfied with your work and the ever-growing bulge in his pants. “I own a mirror, Miller. I know what I got going on.” Degrading won’t work on you. With a nudge, you press him towards your room.

“Yuh gonna kill me?” There was no fear in his voice when he asked. This was a man prepared for death whenever it came.

“We’ll see. Gonna have a little fun with you first.”

Having Joel Miller on his knees for you was a goddamn treat. He looked so good like this, so submissive even if his bratty little face wanted to put on a show.

“It’s natural, you know.” With a glance down, you let him know that you are referencing his half-hard cock. “The adrenaline.” You squat in front of him. “How many girl came when you forced yourself on them? How many felt their bodies betray them? Did you laugh at them for getting wet?”

“I didn’t-”

“It’s humiliating, isn’t it?” Your gun was still out, knowing physically he could probably overpower you still. You weren’t weak by any means, but you also were aware he had far more upper body strength, muscles bulging through the seem of his shirt sleeves. The cool end of the gun prodded at his face as he tried to keep calm; the bob of his adam's apple and subtle rise of his chest was giving away his nerves. It was exhilarating, having a man that many feared, the cause of death of so many men, someone of damn-near legendary status and his knees for you… You couldn’t help the reaction the thrill had in pooling in your stomach. It was natural, wasn’t it? That’s what you told Joel.

Using the gun, you move his face around a bit to really take in his features. Strong nose, curly salt and pepper hair, soft brown eyes and lips you just really wanted to make whimper.

“Your quite handsome, you know that?”

An ironic chuckle. “I have a mirror too, sweetheart.”

You can’t help smiling at him as you straighten back up. “Take off your shirt.”

He rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

“Obedient thing, aren’t you? Bet I could train you, bet that’s what you need, isn’t it?” You slip your hand in your pants, feeling up your own wet cunt as the thrill of power elevates things. “Tired of having to decide, having to lead…” Maybe the adrenaline was getting to you, but you suddenly wish you had a dick to make him suck. You don’t, so you settle for the next best thing. You tap his lips witht he barrel of the gun. “Open.”

Joel hesitates, a slight spark of fear in his pretty eyes as he keeps his lips tightly closed, and that just won't do. You slap his cheek with the gun, and as grunts in pain the seal of his lips pops open.

“Ah-mph” His cry of pain was quickly muffled by the gun being shoved in his mouth.

“Suck on it, cowboy. Act like you fucking enjoy it.”

You don’t think he needs to act. Joel sucks on your gun like he would a dick and you furiously finger yourself to his rhythm. As he closes his eyes, you can hear a low groan emitting from his throat and his hands twitching at his side.

“Touch yourself, go ahead.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, his right hand flying to the seam of his pants and palming at his full erection.

“Good boy, good fucking boy” You praise. “Just an obedient little dog pretending to be a lone wolf. Is that it? You just want someone to tell you what to do, huh?” You release the gun from his mouth and can’t help but grin as his lips chase it.

“Y-yes.” Joel admits, face strained in tension as he kept touching himself. Must hurt, being constrained like that.

“Take it out. Eyes on me.” You guide his face to look up at you with the tip of your gun. “Look in my eyes as you do it.”

As he released himself, Joel did indeed look up at you; he looked up at you as if you made the stars in the sky.

Once his cock was out, all 9 or so inches, you take off your sleep shorts and straddle over him but not yet putting it in. “I don’t think I need this gun anymore… but I think you like it.” When you sink down on him, gun pressed to his ribs as a firm reminder of who was in charge, you hold your breath in order to hear the simple whimpers and guttural groans that Joel tried so hard to hide.

“This is where you belong, isn’t it?” You goad him, eliciting a quiet ‘yes’ from his lips. “Under me, belong to me.”

You are speared on him, his dick spreading you open and stretching you unlike anything you had felt before and you loved it. Every chance you had, you felt his muscles, reveling in the fact such a physically strong man was so mental weak for you and only you.

“Can I cum? Please?” Joel begged for you, pleaded ever, lips quivering even as you kissed him.

“Almost there, baby, almost- mmmm- almost there. You can cum after me, okay?”

Joel nodded quick, tiny nods and hesitantly moved a hand to your hips. He looked up at you bouncing on his cock for permission, and when you nod back he goes to thumb at your clit.

“OH GOD!” You shout, breathless, slick all over your thighs and his pants, his touch sending you over the edge. You cum hard, walls pulsing all around him and he doesn’t ask again before spilling his seed inside you, filling you to the brim.

Your body relaxes, but then Joel throws you to the ground causing you to drop your gun and for a moment you thought he bested you, got you distracted; until he dove right into your cunt with no regard for the lost gun. He didn’t care about beating you, he cared about tasting you. As he desperately licked his cum out of your dripping hole, you tugging at his curls, Joel humped the floor as if he hadn’t just gotten released. You pull him close, riding out another orgasm on his face. When you cum a third time, you have to push him back, the overstimulation from the desperate man’s tongue, lips and beard being too much. When you do, he looks up at you with wide eyes as if he had done something wrong, but you pull up and into a kiss before laying him down on the floor to kiss him some more.

“Not sure if I wanna let go of you, cowboy…” You tease, playing with his hair but keeping him firmly pressed to the ground. “Might have to keep you around, but my little guard dog, how about that?”

Joel’s eyes were glossy, his face so fucked out you weren’t sure he was fully cognizant. “Baby boy too tired to speak? That’s okay, I’ll take care of you too. You be the arms; I’ll be the brains. You won’t have to have a single thought outside me again, okay?”

***********

Part 2 here

LOWKEY NERVOUS BC THIS IS SUCH A DIFFERENT JOEL AND HE DOESNT DO A LOT OF TALKING?!?!?!?!?!??! UNSURE HOW I FEEL

Anyway I do hope to write more maybe? so if you wanna be tagged comment below! I liek the idea of having a joel I can kinda just write stuff about whenever instead of a story and an arch and characters to balance. This is just more casual. and i dont gotta go nuts keepingup with posting like my other stories. Im think a v joel tess kinda vibe where she's clearly leading him

I was supossed to be working on the next part to my Javi P x reader x Santi AU buuuutttttttttttt I couldnt get this idea out of my head. So. here you all go! I'll try and work on that, the dark! TF boys, TWW, and the Will Miller story lol its kinda a lot rn

Please consider reblogging and commenting to support your fav writers <3

@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @hereforthepedrofanfic @alwaysmicado @noisynightmarepoetry @morallyinept @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @k-ra

If you'd like to join the dark! taglist, click here! this is different from my regular taglist on my main account

If you'd like to join only on this tag list, comment below

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outlook-hater · 4 months

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My Demon Ep 8 Spoilers

PD-nim just might be off everyone's list today but he's definitely onto the "grab hands to recharge" theory. Creepy grandson seems to have more layered motives than we expected - even though he's the one in contact with the neck rash guy, he clearly hates his dad and has a third set of motives for whatever he is doing.

While I do appreciate Jin Star's concern for Gu-won, it's really coming off as a one-dimensional ML obsessed character who'd throw hands with the FL to get the guy. Girl need therapy for all her daddy issues, like yesterday.

The Wild Dogs are hilarious lololol and they seem useful too, based on the preview for the next episode. Looking forward to seeing how Gu-won fully gives in to his human side or something else happens. WIsh they'd be a little bit more consistent with the past lives reveal. It's like they forgot all about it in this episode.

Nok Suk-min's wife is giving Gwyneth Paltrow. Idk why. Does the daughter purely exist to whine and bitch about Do-hee?

Madame Ju most certainly had something to do with Do-hee's parents' death. They've been throwing some heavy-handed hints in there about that and everyone around Do-hee dying. Also - someone well-versed in Korean language and culture please advise - is Do Do Hee's name having two repetitive characters symbolic of something?

Do-hee and Gu-won's outfits continue to SLAY. They're clearly coordinating with each other every morning.

Coming to the romance subplot. When both Mr. Park and Secretary Shin swooned when he said "being near you is treatment" that was me. And the hugging in bed! Too cute! AND THEY FINALLY KISSED (it wasn't a fish kiss y'all! we won!) HE HAS ACCEPTED SHE'S HIS FATE!

#my demon #my demon kdrama

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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As someone who works at a shelter who's had people dump cats there when they get pregnant, fucking THANK YOU for not getting a cat until after you've given birth. It's more responsible for you, your theoretical child (I wish you the best with that! keep trying, it may take a bit but it's worth it) and the cat. I wish more people were this responsible about their pet ownership. Between your forward thinking on this, well thought-out replies on here and open mind I feel like you're going to be a great parent. (And a terrifying one at any PTA meeting, as well. Fortunately we're not in the same state so I don't have to risk crossing you and invoking your oddly calm, well-worded wrath.)

lololol

Yeah, my friend fosters dogs and with everyone getting evicted or deciding to move somewhere cheaper, all these fuckfaces are dumping their ginormous dogs nobody wants at the shelter. Poor babies! She's got one right now that is a menace in her apartment (growling at the neighbors) who I think is just an English mastiff mix puppy and doing her best to guard the house. (Plz, doggie, stop guarding the house! Your life expectancy is not long at this rate!)

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smallestchances · 1 year

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Almost Royal (4)

Summary: You & Dean talk about logistics about bringing Opal to his country--and how to keep her away from the press that won’t stay away.

Pairing: King!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None that I can think think of? Unedited.

1/18/23 LOLOLOL I HAVE THE OTHER CHAPTER WRITTEN THOUGH I PROMISE

Masterlist

You can’t stand how nice the plane is. You’ve been in first class approximately once in your life, and you were crying so hard you couldn’t enjoy it at all. Dean’s private plan puts what little you remember to shame. The interior was gold and green, velvet and plush touching your skin so softly it felt inappropriate.

“I feel like it’s too expensive to breathe,” Opal mumbles to you, once you’ve reached the air and Dean went to the restroom.

“Get used to it baby bear,” you mutter. “It only goes up from here.”

She nods, looking out to the clouds in wonder, curiosity, and a smidge of anxiety.

“Spill it.”

“I don’t know,” she sighs out, biting her thumbnail. “I’m so excited, and happy to be here with both of you but…but what if the more time we spend time together, the less he likes me?” Her eyes build with tears, and you immediately take her hands in yours, reaching across the table between you.

“Baby bear.”

“And, and what if I don’t fit in? What if they don’t like me? What if you end up hating me for making you go back?”

“Never.” You cut her off vehemently. “I could never hate you for anything you do. You could put an axe through my foot right now and I’d still love you until my dying breath–”

“And mine.”

You both look up to see Dean standing a ways away, clearly having heard most of your conversation. “I haven’t known for as nearly as long as I should, but I do love you Opal. Until my dying breathe I will not let you go again.”

A few tears slide down Opal’s cheeks, but Dean catches them quickly and sits down beside her. You watch them tenderly before getting back to the task at hand.

“So what’s the game plan?”

Opal gives you a confused look but Dean only nods. You both lock eyes, and a strange understanding settles between you two.

“I think our primary goal is the same,” he says. “We keep his far away from the press.”

“It’s a needed precaution,” you explain when you see your daughter’s face fall. “The press are vultures who will skin you alive for every single answer you give and then some. They’ll be looking for all the wrong things in your words–from stuttering to the wrong adjective to the wrong pronunciation. They’re waiting for you to fall.”

“And we won’t let that happen,” Dean continues. “We’re going to try and mask you both from the public as much as possible in order to control which way the story goes, and to ensure they see you for who you are.”

He waits for her to nod before moving on. “You both will be staying close to me in the palace under the guise of being Sam’s friends who are over for the occasion–”

“Sam? I get to meet my Uncle Sam soon?” Opal breathes.

“You sound more excited to meet him than you did me,” Dean jokes, bumping her shoulder with his. Your heart warms at their collective laugh. It doesn’t take long before he gets serious again. “I plan to reveal you two at the Announcement Ball.”

You balk at his words, unable to keep your jaw from dropping. “Are you sure? Are you serious?”

Dean doesn’t shy away from your eye contact. “Of course.”

“Mom? Dad? What’s the Announcement Ball?”

You can’t answer her. “They won’t let you. You know that the won’t let you right.”

Dean only raises an eyebrow. “I don’t care who they are, I’ve made my decision.”

“If you’re even the slightest bit hesitant–”

Opal tugs on Dean’s sleeves with a soft calling of “Dad?” And despite the seriousness of the conversation, you smirk at how he melts instantaneously at her puppy dog eyes.

“The Announcement Ball is a tradition my lineage has, where we officially name our successors for the throne, legitimizing who we decide is our blood.”

“And…and you want to announce…me?”

“If you’re up for it kid.”

Opal swallows before closing her eyes tightly. “I don’t want to cry anymore than I already have.”

Dean laughs, taking her hand in his. “When I told you I’m not letting you go, I meant it kid. After the announcement, we’ll have all the time in the world.” He then clears his throat. “To prepare you for court and the public, you both will be participating within 3 weeks worth of events to show who you are. That you belong here. So that by the time I name you Opal, no one would have any reason to oppose.”

She smiles so hard that both of you can’t help but mirror her emotion.

“Sam is going to pick us up,” Dean adds. “He’s also agreed to take you both on and be your benefactor for the events. He has access to both our funds to make sure you both fit in well. God knows you’ll need it.”

A bitter taste blooms in your mouth at his last comment. You try not to fidget with the 6 year old coat that you have yet to take off, but it must show on your face because Dean tries to backtrack.

“That–I didn’t mean it like that–”

“Excuse me?” You ignore him, giving a kind smile to the one flight attendant you’ve seen. “What snacks do you have on board?”

“We have granola, trail mix, fresh cut seasonal fruit, smoothies–”

“Can we have some granola?” Opal interrupts, and the flight attendant nods. “No peanuts please!”

“Are you allergic?” Dean asks.

You nod as she’s handed the food. “Walnuts are the worst.”

He nods, sinking into his seat. “Seems like there's so many things I have to learn about you.”

“Well,” Opal says over the food. “We now have the rest of our lives.”

You all fall asleep for the rest of the flight.

You’re the first to wake up, and realize you’ve stepped into a nightmare. The plane is slowly touching down, and you see massive amounts of cars, and people, and…

Cameras.

The press.

“Dean,” you almost scream out, shaking him vigorously from where he sits across from you. Opal’s head slips off of his shoulder when you gesture to the window. “They’re here.”

An expletive slips out of his mouth immediately, his face red with anger. He whips out his phone as you question him.

“How?!”

“I don’t know–”

“Did they know you left?”

“This is our stealth plane, the royal crest isn’t anywhere near this–”

“If they hurt her Dean–”

“They won’t!” He snaps, determination set on his face. “They won’t.”

You nod, and both of you know. Digging into a backpack you kept with you, you pull out a large, old college sweatshirt. Dean grabs his sunglasses and a scarf the flight attendant hands him.

Opal barely wakes up as you both help her pull the items on, just in time for the announcement that you could disembark within the next 5 minutes.

“Keep your head low,” you warn. “Don’t say anything, get straight to the car. We’ll be right behind you.”

“Sam’s ready,” Dean confirms. “Let’s go.”

All of you hold your breath. Dean is in front, you’re in the back with Opal in between you. The plane door lowers…

And they pounce.

Their words garble together, with blinding lights and yelling that causes a major sensory overload. You and Dean both have a strong hold on Opal, with Dean’s bodyguard strongly leading the way from where he came from the car. The press jostles all of you, the wave of the crowd ebbing strongly to try to get your line to break. The whole time you keep gently squeezing your daughter’s hand, her squeezing back just as grounding.

“King Dean! Is it true that this is your illegitimate daughter?!”

Opal flinches.

“Is this your new mistress?!”

You bite hard on your tongue.

“King Dean, is this another one of your charity cases?!”

Dean glares straight ahead.

“King Dean, is this the help that fled the palace? Was she hiding your secret love child?”

They continue to press in. And in. And in.

And finally you’re at the car door. Dean slips in, and then somehow your strong formation breaks. Opal ends up behind you, on the ground, on her hands and knees–

You try to get to her but you’re shoved inside the car. Without another thought you climbed straight over Dean’s lap to get out on the other side, scrambling to your baby girl.

Just to see that the crowd was silent.

They’re in a semi-circle around her, but she’s not actually on the ground…she’s helping a fallen reporter. Her scarf has fallen so that her soft smile shines, and beyond the camera clicks, you hear Opal ask if the fallen reporter is okay. They only nod in shock.

“Baby bear,” you choke out. Opal gets up with the person on the ground, nodding before following you to the car.

Inside, Dean doesn’t let her go. And you can finally breathe.

“Well,” a familiar voice says. Your eyes widen at Sam sitting in the passenger seat. “That was quite an entrance.”

------

If I don't get chapter 5 up by the 25th you have permission to spam me.

Tags: it won’t let me tag some of you :(

@that-one-gay-girl @fanfictionjunkie1112 @flamencodiva @hoboal87 @cutestdolans @anaissomnia @kbl1313 @fuzzycloudsz @hollymac79@vicmc624 @roxytheimmortal @lunaticgurly @coffeebooksandfandom @A-dorky-book-keeper @Nihilismworld

@woodworthti666 @busy-bee-angel-misska @lizwinchester16

@ladyofmaidensandwine @babypink224221 @degeathesaviour

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@mandxa @Deandrernp @thatsmyfavoritewhiteboy @donnaintx @spngi

#dean winchester fanfiction #sam and dean #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #almost royal #royal alternate universe #royal!winchesters #royal!au #alternate universe #supernatural x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural reader insert #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #prince!sam #prince!dean

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someoneinjersey · 4 months

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11, 19, 21, 26 for the no good very bad horrible questions :^^))

(Just wanna hear you talk about ur pets lololol)

hellllllyeahbaby!

11: Do you like someone? Not any real actual person I've met lol. I don't encounter a lot of people and also I'm very picky and I've fallen into the trap of just thirsting after unattainable people because it's "safe". But like ... it also breaks my heart? But I also like ... use that as a form of self harm I think? LOL IM FUCKED UP. I do have a super handsome mutual that I'm always like haaaaay when he posts a selfie but yanno.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes. Absolutely yes even though everyone's like no don't do it you wouldn't be who you are today without those mistakes blah blah blah but absolutely 100% yes. I would be more outgoing, wouldn't give a shit, I'd spend more quality time with my grandparents, I'd see if maybe I could get my dad to chill or maybe not idk, I'd spend more time with my friend Lauran who passed when I was 12 and I'd call her back even though I didn't like talking on the phone. I'd ask Scott out on a date, very definitely flirt more with him in high school and if I couldn't go back that far I'd go back to the last time I saw him when he hugged me outside Wawa and I'd hold onto him so tightly, memorize his strength and his smell and his warmth on that cold morning before the sun came up and I'd make plans with him even if he was still going to die 8 months later.

That made me sad lmao but it's all true and from my Grinch heart.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Tomorrow there will be panic cleaning and panic gift wrapping because Kate's aunt and uncle want to come over for a tiny pre-Christmas Christmas because Kate has to work on Actual Christmas so we'll do some gifts and we have to send our gifts for Kate's brother and sister in law and niece and nephew with said aunt and uncle for Actual Christmas. And the house is a nightmare cuz I can't keep up with housework and also FOUR PETS MAKE A LOTTA STUFF HAPPEN. Then Sunday I'll be probably just like ... hanging out and wrapping Kate's presents that I didn't already give her oops and likely playing Stardew Valley a bit and making some nonsense for dinner lol

26: What are you craving right now? I was craving a non-specific night night snack cuz it's 3 am and i can't go to sleep with a rumbly tumbly but we don't really have snacky things rn? So I ate two microwaved hot dogs YAY HEALTH. I do crave motivation and discipline and the doing of something creative too, does that count?

Also none of these are about pets LOL

#me #about me

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wellhalesbells · 10 months

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15 Questions, 15 (or whatever) Tags

I was tagged by @kikiroo - thank you!! *heart hug!*

1. Were you named after anybody?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um, I cannot stress enough that I cry at the drop of a hat in fictional situations (pretty much never in real life) so it was either Ted Lasso or reading The Celebrants by Steven Rowley, or it could’ve been The Emperor’s Bone Palace by Hailey Turner - I just finished that. I can’t remember if I did or not, but I was so stressed out, I probably did, things went poorly for a bit there and I was a wreck.

3. Do you have kids?

I do not and have no plans to. I’ve never wavered on that, I’ve always been very ‘who knows, could change,’ about it but so far: nah. And I feel like if I had ever wavered, my sister having two pandemic babies and me being her entire village (I am the only relative who lives in the same state. And the people who are best at babies do not live in the same country.) has nudged me more firmly towards: that’s really not for you, broh. I love them to death but I am so glad I get breaks where I just get to be a selfish monster for seventy-two hours straight.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Neever.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I played soccer for maybe a few weeks in middle school and then I was like: this is just running, and running is so much worse than sitting, was everyone aware of that? I’ll be on the bench if you need me. *throws up a peace sign* Though I did just tell my sister that I would absolutely fucking kill at basketball against K-1st graders and I stand by that.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Sense of humor. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s an ace thing or not, but I can’t even describe people beyond: heightish and hairish until you interest me as a person, which is usually because you make me laugh. It’s kind of embarrassing sometimes because I really do not notice, and sometimes I’ll be asked to describe someone I’ve been in the vicinity of for, like, two months and I’m like: I genuinely cannot tell you a single thing about this person, I’m so sorry. I just don’t track details. That’s why I try really hard with names. I can’t tell you what they look like in any detail (do they wear glasses? Have freckles? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), but I can tell you their name. And sometimes that can feel like a superpower tbqh, because you know who people come to find out the new person’s name: moi.

7. Eye color?

Blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Oh scary movies, hands down. They’re my favoritest things. I regularly have them on as background noise.

9. Any special talents?

If I do have them, they’re a secret even to me. I like to have that Kathleen Madigan mindset about it: “What if we’re all prodigies, but it’s just at something we’ve never tried yet? ... What if I sat down at a pottery wheel and made a cup and people were like: Holy Christ, lady, that is the most phenomenal cup ever made.” It could happen!

10. Where were you born?

St. Pete, Florida.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, tending to an imaginary beluga whale that lives in my nephew’s bathtub, creating to do lists over and over again that I have no intention of ever completing, and playing Pokemon Go. There’s a girl at my work and we were the two nerds who were really into it, we would get together, do the fests and the raids and community days and such. We have now converted half our workplace into either reactivating their accounts or creating them and there are now at least two more people who are just as - if not more - into it than we are. (Like, they had to make a Pokemon Go policy because of us spreading it like a virus, lololol.)

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a doggo that I accidentally made obsessed with me and super introverted. You know how they say owners start to resemble their dogs? Nope. I broke her and now we like to stay in, are wary of strangers, and essentially try to occupy the same space at all times - I blame COVID, honestly, we were both way more normal before that. Or she was, anyway. The good news is I can let her off leash ‘cause she’s going precisely zero places without me.

13. How tall are you?

5’

14. Favorite subject in school?

English in high school, Evolutionary Psychology in college.

15. Dream job?

I hate to say it but: I do not dream of labor. Anything I’m passionate about doing, I would immediately tarnish by needing it to now be the source of my livelihood. It would lose all its joy because I would put immense pressure on it.

Though if I could somehow make bank through sleeping? Yeah, that.

I don’t know who to tag because I feel like I’ve seen everyone do this on my dash so: um, whoever hasn’t done it yet and wants to - consider this me tagging you!

#meme answers #meme #if you've ever met me you're probably like 'how are YOU your sister's whole village??!' and like YEAH #i don't know what my sister's doing here tbh #she HATES cold weather but she wanted to leave dc and was like: where are you moving and i was like:#washington in six months and she was like: cool i'll go check it out with my boyfriend on a road trip #and then she got pregnant on the road trip and now they're married and live here lol #this is nOT where they want to be - either one of them #they want hot hot hot weather #(which i despise - my sister's trying to come up w a compromise state and i'm like: *gently* those are opposites my love)#they want to be in florida but i was like: dude you gotta homeschool if you go there #and my sister's already like: i don't like the american scool system in general so you're not wrong #and the draw there is my parents who...... do not like children and are not that interested lol #HIS parents are but they live in occupied palestine soooooo ???? THOSE are the options lol #(occupied palestine is winning just on florida politics alone ???)#not to say i don't ADORE them being here and wouldn't miss them like crazy if they left #but i do wish their bench were deeper than me bc i am already laying down and reading a book on there

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highvern · 4 months

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aa I just finished reading Teach Me part 6! the idea of twin pendants is so sweet! but is it bad that I want him to grovel a bit more? also im not sure if you have been asked this, but do you mind explaining why you choose DK for this series? i really love your writing, and im wishing you a great new year ahead ❤️

im glad you liked it!!! honestly i would have had him grovel more but i felt so mean putting him through it LMAO but they're both so dumb and like each other so much i didn't think they needed more than him apologizing for dunking her in the hot tub bc everything else was them being idiots equally lololol

and i chose DK because im in love with him

also he just radiates sweet and silly energy i felt perfect for the story. (my man said he wanted to get married the second he became an adult, talked about his struggles with insecurity, and then members dogged him for being passive aggressive when he's upset.) i felt he'd def end up in some wack ass FWB situation when he's a lover boy at heart

#anon ask #answered ask #🫡 highvern

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gr4p3ju1c3 · 1 year

Text

another twst oc lololol.

Meet Rotti Nell! she was Eeva's only friend growing up. Eeva's dad and her grandmother knit and drink tea together sometimes, and they always enjoyed exploring the woods together those days.

Rotti (pronounced row-dee) is based off of luttle red riding hood. she's extremely close to her grabdmother. she likes baking, exercise, and dogs.

since her grandma can't always fend for herself the best anymore, she comes over with groceries on weekends and does housework and chores for her grandma.

i went with a design i thought matched her personality! she's tough but kind, and a little bit cocky. she thinks highly of herself, and with good reason! she's a jack of all trades, master of a few. she got her scars from a wolf encounter when she was younger (which Doug saved her and her grandma from ;3). gold and red r def her colors imo, and i think she rocks em well.

she's 20 now, and works as a pro boxer.

#oc #twst oc #fandom oc #rotti

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starrierknight · 3 months

Note

No pets myself :(

Living with others, one is allergic to cats, another to dogs, third just doesn't want pets anymore :((

Also I do feel like the odds are stacked against me, since everyone I usually flirt with are like, at least 4"/10cm taller than me. The worst cases are even like a full foot/30cm or more taller. I can't keep up a dom act when I gotta hurt my neck to look them in the eyes! 😭

That said I have absolutely gotten some of them flustered. Once I got a guy so flustered on a date that he couldn't order food for a good 15-20 minutes. Didn't help that I didn't stop. Waiters were highly amused :p

Also I only send you anons so I doubt it capped it. Though I did have some Internet issues for a bit, that tends to mess with things?

Also I noticed you were censoring in your post. Any words you'd like me to censor, in case they come up? Don't wanna upset you!

- Star ✨

ahhhhhh rip. I hope one day you do get to have a pet. if you could have one, what would you like?

LOLOLOL that's such a fucking power move tho, honestly good for you. short doms are so cool I love short doms. out of curiosity, how tall are you? I'm 5'8' (173cm) teehee. and damnnnn look at you go!! chatting to the rizzler over here....

lol Tumblr is a bit of a mystery to me so idk what happened, but I'm just glad that it's fixed!!! hahaha dw dw, I just find it funny to censor the word "mother" when I'm talking about my own since I don't get along with her. just me being silly (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

#you're so sweet and considerate for asking tho so thank you!!#꒰ =͟͟͞♡ ꒱ — love letters #꒰ ♡⃕ ꒱ — 💫

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sharksa-shivers · 8 months

Text

hahahah bitch

(early moment joke shit)

Kristy:(pissed off cuz Max did some shit)…….You son of a bitch!!!!

Max:(smirking, shrugs)I mean, you aren't wrong…

Kristy:(stares)…….What?

Max:(amused)I do have a mom. I did come from her so yeah, i'd be her son and…Last i checked, my mom is a female dog, thus, yknow…A bitch. I am the son of a female dog, you got me there HOWEVER…My moms pretty nice i wouldn't call her that. A bit overprotective but mom means well so yeah…

Kristy:(stares, brain breaking)……I swear to fucking god…

Max:(amused, smug as fuck) Took the wind right outta those sails didn't i? ------------------ Yes, i do have a few more for today lol, i've been stockpiling for ages lololol

#kidnappedseries #kidnappedseries dialog stuff

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niccage · 3 years

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Hahahaha my parents have four dogs (three shelties and a beagle) and one of the shelties is soooo cute but literally meaner than shit (he’s from a rescue don’t blame my parents lolol) and everytime someone says he’s cute on fb my mom just starts roasting him in the comments and every time it gets funnier lol

#story behind him is that my parents’ two old shelties passed away and they wanted a friend for the remaining beagle #and so they went to a Sheltie rescue intending to get one dog but my mom fell in love w a sweet HUGE one named baloo #and my dad fell in love with a teeny tiny meaner than the devil one named eddie #and they didn’t compromise lololol #and when i tell you this dog eddie has bit every single inch of my parents in the past 2 years i mean it #and god bless my mother bc i know she does not like this dog all that much (and neither does anyone else who’s ever met him bless his soul)#but she is so patient with him bc my dad is just like 😀 Eddie! 😀#and then my dad let my mom get another nice rescue sheltie to make up for eddie 😭#and now they have four dogs that are all eight years old which isn’t significant but just interesting #esp since my dog is 8 and my sisters hound mix is 8 and my other sisters golden is 8 #and then there’s my sisters 16 y/o one-eyed chiweenie and her 3 year old Dane/mastiff but that’s another story #what I’m saying is: don’t ever ask to come to my family Christmas there are too many fucking dogs

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jokerclub · 5 years

Photo

DEE-VUH

#nyx #her name is diva that's just how i always pronounce it lololol #ben's lovely sweet stupid dog #her snoot is wet cause she was shoving it in the snow #she always looks just a little bit melancholy

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kira-fluff · 3 years

Note

Heeey!

Saeyoung, Yoosung, Jumin and Zen reacting to to “hotel only one bed” trope ? ♥️

a/n: of course you can lovely! <3 *AHEM* Lemme just say this trope is ELITE and I will NEVER not love it // also, i’m writing it like it’s before they’re dating (OF COURSE) because I want it to be spicy (actually that’s the only thing that would make sense for this prompt but you get my point whatever). ALSO also I’m basing the fancy hotel off my stay at the Ritz Carlton (it was like $25,000 a night) because my grandma couldn’t manage money N E WAYSS. Also, if y’all could let me know whether you prefer Y/N to MC pls lmk k thx

TW: drunk old lady w/no filter, gets pretty suggestive because I couldn’t help myself, an overbearing aunt, savage Italians, and loud hotel neighbor

Note: omfg i accidentally made this so long oh well here’s yo present lmao

“There’s only one bed” PT.1 PT.2

Saeyoung

Getaway missions are mad cool until you can’t sleep

When you finally neared the parking entrance to your hotel you were SO looking forward to taking a nice hot shower before shimming into the covers of your crisp, (clean, you hoped) sheets.

It was past 3AM when Saeyoung finally drove his elegant vehicular device (because what other word is there for it) into a secured parking space

“Because I don’t trust those shady valets, y/n.”

“Whatever you say, Seven”, you replied groggily.

You hauled ass up to the front desk, then to the elevator of the exquisite hotel you were staying at

not that you cared

because S L E E P

but Saeyoung likes to quote Jurassic Park (because of course he does) like “I spare no expense, y/n”

“I’m too tired to laugh”

*gASP*

“Not everyone naturally stays up until the early morning light before going to sleep.”

“It really should become a thing, it’s honestly very iconic of me.” (it’s not)

By the time your conversation ended you were glad to see your hotel number and a little key card slot.

Saeyoung made a show of sticking the key card in like a spy or something

it was funny for normal y/n but not for tired y/n

“Here’s your room, M’lady.”

He held the door open to your room as you looked around the room

a large, lush bed set before a ginormous flat screen TV with complimentary expensive chocolates laid before you as well as complimentary take-home elegant towels and slippers.

suddenly, you heard a knock on the door

blinking in confusion, you opened to see it was Saeyoung

“Um.. hey! What’s up?”

Saeyoung looked a bit bewildered himself before saying,

“Hey, so, I realized my key card was the same room number as yours and I was like ‘That’s weird!’ so I called the front desk who verified that I had placed a reservation for one room, not two, so I hacked into their system to see what went wrong and if I could change it but it looks like they’re completely booked and I think I had made the reservation before I knew that you had to come along and I’m so sorry”

he was breathless after the mouthful he just gave you

As it was 3AM a drunk, old woman was tripping her way to her room and shouted much louder than she should at 3AM, “Kiss her already n’ fuck, ya youngin’s!”

Saeyoung’s hair now matched his face :)

His ears were tipped bright red before coughing awkwardly

“I can sleep on the ground. I’ve done it plenty of times, it’s actually pretty comfy.”

“Um, Sev’ I’m not going to make you just sleep on the floor. If you want--”

“You’re not making me, y/n, I want to do this”

“Actually I think I’ll sleep on the floor, I sleep a lot better on the ground”, you fibbed.

“You’re sleeping on that big ass bed.”

“No you are.”

“If you don’t listen I’ll sleep in the bath tub instead of the floor.”

“Then I’LL sleep outside the room!”

“LIKE HELL YOU WILL!”

“WATCH ME”

the phone rang, a worker politely asking you to quiet a bit down because even with your luxurious privacy walls, guests could still hear you arguing.

Saeyoung began whisper shouting, “Guess that settles it.”

he plopped on the ground, fake snoring with his arm as a pillow

you sighed

“Fine, if neither of us are going to agree to this then we are both going to sleep in this bed.”

Saeyoung blushed lightly at your boldness, a tad worried you’d find him creepy or weird

You started again, beginning to undress a little, causing Seven to yelp in panic and turn around immediately, shielding his eyes,

Now in your tank top and your leggings you’d been wearing under sweatpants and a t-shirt, you said, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower and go to bed. I’m so tired.”

Seven turned around only when he’d heard the bathroom door shut

he sighed, What am I going to do with this girl.

By the time you’d come out of the bathroom, drying your wet hair, Seven was lying on the bed, clad in casual t-shirt and jeans.

“Come on, Saeyoung, you have comfy clothes! It’s okay, change! I’m done in the bathroom now.”

“Nah, this is fine.” This was not fine. Saeyoung was out of his area of expertise of expecting the unexpected because God you were so unpredictable.

“Please” you jutted out your bottom lip in a little pout, being sure to make eye contact with him

Something glowered in his eyes for a split second before he half-smiled saying, “Ah, little Y/n, you know I can’t say no to you when you go all sad on me.”

He stepped into the bathroom to change, but let’s be honest. He was freaking the fuck out.

he covered his flushed face, changing into his soft sweatpants and a cozy sweatshirt. he was scared

the more comfortable he became the more likely he’d accidentally get closer to you and then you’d freak out because you’d hear the sound of his heart beat like it’s a fucking rave concert and then you’d be weirded forever and quite possibly never talk to him again

but on the outside, he stepped out of the bathroom, whipping his phone out with a huge smirk saying, “Smile”

you threw up a peace sign with your tongue sticking out

he laughed before sending it to the RFA chat

707: Sleepover lolol [see attachment]

immediately both your phones blew up with buzzes of notifications from the chat

you laughed lightly, brushing a stray hair from your face to tuck it behind your ear

this was gonna be a long night for Seven.

Zen: UGH get away from her!!!!!!!!!111!!1!!

Jumin: Maybe you should learn to type first.

Zen: shut it cat freak

Zen: seven answer

Zen: hey

Zen: y/n, text “qwerty” if you’re in any kind of danger

Jumin: What a strange code.

You: qwerty :(

707: lololololol

Zen: !!!!!

Zen: ASJDHKJFASHFKJA

Jumin: -_-

Zen: WE NEED A CAR, NO A HELICOPTER im omw!!

You: just kidding <3 i’m fine you guys

707: lololol

Jumin: Have a bit more faith in your subordinates, Zen.

You closed the chat and muted your phone, expecting the incoming argument that was quickly to ensue.

You patted the bed lightly, ushering Saeyoung to lie down next to you.

He obliged, though he politely laid at the far edge of the left side of the bed.

You yawned before shutting the light off and whispering a “good night”.

Saeyoung glanced at the clock. 4AM. Only 15 minutes had passed. You were breathing softly in your sleep within the 10 minutes after you’d said goodnight and here he was still awake.

You suddenly tousled in your sleep, and Saeyoung raised his head, whispering a soft, “Did I wake you up?”

You replied with a soft moan before abruptly turning left onto his corner of the bed and grabbing for the first thing you’d felt -- his torso.

Saeyoung’s breath hitched as he felt you exploring the new found “object”, running your fingers up and down his torso and nearing dangerous areas below

Saeyoung whisper-shouted, “What are you doing?”

He leaned closer to hear your reply, but your only answer was more soft little snores

Saeyoung sighed, trying to lightly grab your wrists without waking you up, and directing toward yourself

no matter how hard he’d try, your arms kept finding his own

your nails would softly ghost over his chest or neck, causing him to shiver and blush profusely

again, he sighed, trying his hardest not to give into your sleepy state

until you broke him with a soft utterance, “Sae....young..”

Saeyoung’s eyes widened to the size of saucers before he dared to look down at you, your hair curling on the bed every which-way.. your mouth slightly agap...

he groaned, his brows furrowed and his eyes shut

at last he slunk his arms around your torso, being sure to respectfully keep them high around your waist

he buried his face in the crook of your neck to subconsciously try to hide his ever growing blush (and erection)

I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this ‘friend’ thing when you’re driving me this crazy, y/n.

You awoke to a sleeping Saeyoung, his toned arms enveloping your small body in a hug

shamelessly, you laid still for a few moments longer.

Yoosung

this bean is lonely uwu

so when he’d invited to you go with him on a trip his uncle had paid for, you felt bad saying “yes” because it’s a paid trip!!

until he begged you because his cousin Chaewon would be there and he was always really pushy and borderline a huge fuck boi

so you conceded

but hey free trip for the both of you minus shitty family gatherings with no one you know, right?!

you hope there’s at least one dog. and alcohol.

dog + alcohol at a party = an actual fun fucking time

you were glad Yoosung was there with you because he honestly couldn’t agree with you more

You opened your beach-side resort room to find there’s only one bed.

Yoosung blanched and quickly dialed his auntie, who’d made the resort reservations

“Ah...hi auntie! Um, how come there isn’t a separate room for me and y/n?”

his aunt cackled into the phone, “Aren’t you an old fashioned little gentlemen!!! Awe~~~ you’ve grown up to be such a good boy! <3 Well don’t worry, I won’t say a word to my sister or your pops. Enjoy the time you have with your adorable girlfriend and get it on a little!! I’ve got condoms if ya need ‘em honey~~ Remember dearie, when the shlong is not covered, the child support better be.”

Yoosung hurriedly hung up the phone, his face completely red, praying you hadn’t heard the conversation that’d just ensued.

You did

but you smile and say, “So.. what’d they say?”

He cleared his throat before saying, “Well, --err.. Basically there’s been a little mishap. B-but don’t worry!! I can just ask Chaewon if I can spend the night in his room.”

“Didn’t you say he leaves a sock on the door handle every time--”

“YES but I want you to be comfortable, okay! It’s really not a big deal.”

You shyly smiled while looking down before softly saying, “You can sleep with me.”

Yoosung’s eyes widened and you quickly looked up, your face flushing to a deep crimson

“I-I-I meant in the bed!!! With me. We can lie together. In the bed---- I mean we--”

Yoosung could practically see the steam coming out of your ears and the room felt a LOT hotter

“S-sure! Sounds great.” he had a feeling if you didn’t agree you’d end up embarrassing yourself further.. and he didn’t want you to feel bad. And he didn’t want those thoughts circulating his mind again.

“Alright, so I’m going to hop in the shower, y/n... unless you want to go first?”

Gulping down some complimentary water you’d found in the hotel mini fridge, you quickly replied with a shake of your head.

Nodding, Yoosung make quick work of washing his hair and trying to give himself a pep talk before he would be sleeping next to you.

Thankful for the big size of the resort bed, you climbed under the covers, already beginning to feel sleep take you

When Yoosung had at last dried himself off and walked out to the bed area of the resort room, he gazed at how small you looked, hugging a soft pillow in your arms, your eyes fluttered shut

He looked away, feeling like a creep.

He shut off the light after making a call to the resort staff to wake him up at 8AM as directed by his uncle’s itinerary

He slid under the covers, shoving a pillow in between the two of you as a little border to separate the two of you

it wasn’t until further in the night when Yoosung had felt a jolt and he looked up in panic, through the blackness recognizing the pillow-border had been cast onto the ground

and even more noticeably, your leg was swung over his hip, your body flush to his own

your arms were snaked around his neck

he felt like he could feel every inch of you

your soft breath just below his ear

your soft .. er.. chest... against his torso

your stomach and .. the rest of it... against his own

Yoosung could not breathe

like someone actually help this man for he is losing oxygen by the minute

He squeezed his eyes shut and make the executive decision to wait it out til morning

he was terrified that if he’d move you, you’d wake up and see just how much you affect him.

And so, when the phone rang that morning, you’d startled, looking up to see your tangled limbs lying on top of his own

“oH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY YOOSUNG UGH IT’S A HABIT OF MINE AHAHHSAHDAJSHS”

he looked at you with eyes that had noticeable circles under them (darker than even after his LOLOL gaming)

“you look like you didn’t sleep much.... --- Is it because of me!? Oh my god I’m so sorry you should’ve just shoved me off or something seriously I didn’t mean to do it on purpose, honest!!”

“N-no, no it’s really not!! I promise!!” He tried his best to grin, though it probably looked like a grimace, because the next thing you said was, “I’ll make it up to you”

“You don’t need to do that. Really, I liked it.”

It took a moment for him to realize what he just said.

“I-I mean I like you! I mean I liked sleeping with you!!! I mean--!!”

Yoosung was quickly spinning circles in his mind

you couldn’t help the little giggle that came out of your mouth, “I guess we’re pretty similar, huh?”

Yoosung smiled lightly, “Yeah, guess so.”

You walked out together toward the breakfast area of the resort

“Hey”, you started, “Is.. Did you mean what you said? About liking me?”

Yoosung glanced away, taking a deep breath before saying, “Yeah, yeah I did. I really like you.”

You couldn’t hold back the big ol’ smile that took over your face as you proudly declared, “Me too!!”

Right when Yoosung was going to go in for a kiss, he saw his auntie suddenly right next to the both of you

“Oh my GOD when did you get here?!”

She smirked, “My question first, dearie, what did you two like?”

Neither of you answered, your cheeks growing red

“You know, the first time your uncle did it with me I felt the same way. Like, what a man! Must run in the fam--”

“OKAY! THANK YOU FOR THAT AUNTIE BUT BREAKFAST IS CALLING MY NAME MM SMELLS GOOD SEE YOU LATER.”

Your blush didn’t leave you as you smeared strawberry cream cheese on your toasted bagel

This trip was going to be very VERY difficult. Thank God there was alcohol. And Yoosung. And probably dogs. And Yoosung.

Yeah.

Gotta love relatives.

Jumin

You received a call from a stern voice you didn’t recognize

<<“Hello. This is Mr. Han’s chauffeur. I’m approximately 6.3 miles away from your residence. Do not worry about clothes or other necessities. All will be provided for you.”>>

“Uh.. thanks? Where....?”

<<“Mr. Han has invited you to join him on his stay at the Ppalgan Vineyard Estates. Have you not received the notification?”>>

You glanced at your phone, seeing two unread messages on your phone.

You read them, feeling bad you hadn’t seen them before.

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you. Tell him I said thank you. Are you sure it’s okay for me to attend?”

<<“Miss Y/L/N, Mr. Han gave me specific instructions to assure you would be able to come with him. I have been ordered to give 2 minute updates following your being picked up. I can assure you, it is his utmost wish that you join him this weekend. I’d be honored to thank him on your behalf, though I feel it would mean much more to him if you said it to him rather than me.” >>

“You’re right, thank you. And thanks for driving me. And for all the other stuff you said”, you replied nervously.

<<”There is no need to thank me, Miss. I am glad to serve Mr. Han in anyway I can.”>>

The call hung up before you could spout out more thank yous

you phone buzzed, startling you.

you clicked the notification

<<(XXX-XXX-XXXX HAN COMPANIES) I’ve arrived at your residence. Let me know if there is anything I can carry for you. Sent 13:52>>

You quickly texted a reply of gratitude before rushing down the stairs out of your apartment, not wanting to make Jumin’s chauffeur wait.

“Good to see you Miss Y/L/N. Is there anything I can get you? I have been given orders to purchase anything you may want or need on our way to the airport.”

He quickly texted something on his phone, presumably a text to Jumin about your safe arrival to his limo.

“A-airport? You mean, like, flying? Are you sure I don’t need my wallet? It’s not too late for me to go grab it, right? I have my debit card on my phone too, otherwise.”

“Miss Y/L/N you are not to spent a single won on this vacation. All is paid for.”

“But my clothes... I don’t want Jumin to have to pay for all new things!!”

"I assure you, money is not something Mr. Han wishes for you to be concerned with.”

You’d stayed silent at that, feeling bad that you’d already bothered the poor man who’d just been ordered to drive you, not reassure you of Jumin’s financial affairs.

You grew quiet, looking out the window as trees, streets, and cars zoomed past you.

“If you so wish, there are numerous meals options in the compartments below the seats as well as alcohol, carbonated beverages and iced water glasses. You are, of course, welcome to any of these. Please do not hesitate to notify me if there is something you’d like instead. We’d glad to make it a regular option in all of our limousines.”

You flushed, embarrassed at the amount of power Jumin’s words, and effectively, your own seemed to have on the entire Han Conglomerate as a whole. You laughed a little, it was funny thinking to yourself that you had so much power as to decide snack options for Jumin’s cars.

Jumin was extra like that, he always went above and beyond to make you comfortable. You loved that about him. It made you feel a little spoiled, so you instinctively rejected most offers at things that seemed to further complicate his worker’s duties.

You had no idea that when the chauffeur had said airport he meant the Han Private Airway Transportation Zone.

As in... private jet.

It was hard not to feel like you were in a whole different world.

Not that Jumin treated you that way... but it was hard not to notice!

You bowed in thanks to the driver before hastily finding your way to the nearest man standing in another black suit, his hands folded together in front of him.

As soon as you uttered your name, his whole demeanor changed and he instantly had gone from cool and collected to humble and overwhelmingly kind.

He’d quickly made his way to the boarding area, escorting you to the jet before leaving you at a polite distance way from Jumin who’d been looking at you from the moment you’d entered the aircraft.

His eyes searched your own as you’d yet to discover his presence

He couldn’t help but rake his eyes up and down your body, admiring the way you could look just in anything.

He at last saw you searching the spacious cabin, at last laying eyes on him.

His heart pounded faster, as if your noticing him made his heart leap in joy

You looked relieved and smiled, running over to him and sitting down next to him

“Hi Jumin!! Oh, should I be calling you Mr. Han? That’s what your chauffeur called you.. sorry if that’s what I should’ve been addressing you as!!”

His deep voice rumbled in your ear, causing you to shudder, “Jumin is fine.”

You gazed up at him through your lashes, noticing the way his perfectly tailored vest made him look so... well... for lack of better word...hot.

“Wow. You look...” Your eyes moved from his hair, to his face, to his neck, to his torso, slowly to his groin, to his legs... before you realized what you’d been doing and quickly your eyes shot up again.

You bit your lip, “You look nice.”

“Nice?”

You laughed shyly, and slightly (embarrassingly) breathless, “Yeah. Yeah you do. Nice.”

Jumin couldn’t help the sly smile he’d been holding back before replying, “You look beautiful.”

You flushed and looked down, squirming in your seat a little before looking at him once more, offering a small, “..thank you..”

After a few minutes of silence, you’d decided to change the subject, chattering on about how you wondered what this mysterious vacation would hold

Jumin couldn’t help is concentration half on every word you were saying, but also your lips. Slowly licking his own, he nodded along when you’d gotten especially enthusiastic, grinning slightly when you’d gotten so excited you’d leapt out of your luxury seat.

Within a half hour of the trip to your destination in Italy, Jumin had trouble concentrating on much else.

Get it together, Jumin, you’re not some fool like Zen.

It’d gotten worse the more you’d leaned further in your seat, your chest becoming slightly exposed

he covered his mouth with a hand, opting for looking out one of the many windows of the jet.

You’d always caught his attention and made him lose his focus -- something he’d never lost before he met you

He blamed the strawberry sent that you’d always carried with you

He wasn’t much for expensive, faux perfume that so many of his father’s skanks would wear... it was like no other.

After a few hours of grueling torture on your part (though you hadn’t know every single time you’d grabbed his hand or arm it’d sent his heart on a sky dive) Jumin was glad to have arrived in the gorgeous Italian acreage of the countryside.

It was even more beautiful at the dusk of night, you’d decided

Immediately a shiny vehicle pulled up, ready to transport you and Jumin to the estate you were to be residing in for the weekend.

Upon pulling into the culdesac, you almost scoffed at the word “estate” -- it was more of a country in and of itself, land stretched beyond what you could see

The mansion itself stood on pillars and high, Gothic windows.

Inside, flying buttresses decorated the building, giving it an elegant and aged ambiance that you just adored

“It’s so beautiful.”

He smiled at you then, watching you take in the wonders he’d realized he took for granted.

He was then directed to a double-door entrance way, “Your room, Mr. Han, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Separate, correct?”

The man stood in surprise, looking slightly aghast, “T-they never specified such details.”

“Contact them immediately to confirm. I’ll work it out from there.”

“Yes, Mr. Han.” From there, the man scurried away to contact the head of the estate.

After a few moments, he returned, “The Rossi Conglomerate had assumed that you’d brought your fiance with you.”

“Did you mention I don’t have one?”

“Y-yes, of course! But, Mr. Han, your father--”

Jumin sighed, “I’ll take care of it.” with a wave of his hand, the man was gone

You thanked him on his way out.

Jumin looked at you, searching for a reaction of displeasure or worry

When he didn’t find one, he began, “I was notified the Rossi had booked their other estates to their American investors. My being here is a formality, but it is business. It would be a great discourtesy to demand--”

You smiled reassuringly, “Jumin, don’t worry about it.. we’ll share the bed, okay?” You held your hand in his own, rubbing soothing circles on his knuckles.

Jumin looked at you, choking on his spit slightly.

“Y/N you do understand that--”

“It’s fine, Jumin!! It’s late already, I’ll just put up my hair.. and.. do you know where the night clothes would be?”

He watched as you fixed a bobby pin between your teeth before running your fingers through your hair, watching as you arched your back to--

“Jumin? ...you don’t know?”

He cleared his throat, looking away, pink dusting his cheeks

“Bathroom.”

You thanked him, unaware of his watchful eyes

It had been a few seconds since you’d entered the bathroom before he heard a loud and alarmed, “..UM....JUMIN...?!”

He’d quickly made his way into the bathroom

“What’s wro--”

He looked and laying on the long granite island of the large bathroom was a silky set of lingerie as well as a note in Italian you couldn’t read.

Jumin’s words stopped dead on his lips as he stared at you, then the silky underwear set, you, silky underwear, you.......silky underwear.

On the outside, Jumin liked to think he came off as calm and collected, saying, “I can get you something else to wear.”

But when he’d made it two steps out of the bathroom he had a little collision. And by collision, I mean his face.. and the wall.

He looked in every drawer, finding nothing. He presumed clothes would be delivered as specified. But it was late already.. their servants are dismissed, only the protective guards surrounded the inside and outside of the estate.. explaining the situation to them didn’t seem very promising.

Of course you were kicking yourself, before you’d found their little....gift... you’d cast your days clothes into the washer. They were probably soaked by now.

Maybe I could use a hair dryer...? Or I could stuff them in the dryer??

Either way you’d be without clothes for.. too long.

And nothing would be greater punishment then showing all that in front of the man you had completely fallen for...

You heard a knock on the bathroom door. You listened from inside.

“Hey, I, uh, couldn’t find anything. Do you think you could wear your clothes from today?”

You whimpered, on the verge of tears, “I already put it in the washer!”

He knocked again, “Can I hand you something?”, he asked, undoing the buttons of his formal shirt.

“C-close your eyes!”

Jumin chuckled darkly before covering his eyes and handing her his collared shirt

“I’d give you the pants, too, but I don’t think they’d really fit you. Could you look at what they’d provided for me? Maybe slip on something from mine.”

“N-no! That’d be even worse for me!! .. and you!” You blushed again imagining him half naked

You hurriedly shuffled through the drawers, but to no avail.

You gulped, slipping on the lingerie to ensure that maybe something would be covered before buttoning Jumin’s formal shirt on you as well.

it was so big it didn’t leave much for the imagination

but you decided through a 10 minute pep talk that you’d suck it up and try your best to make his shirt into a night gown.

You at last stepped out of the bathroom, Jumin’s head shooting toward the sudden noise before taking you in

He could scarcely breathe, much less come up with a coherent sentence

you were in his shirt...

with barely any clothes on underneath

and you looked up at him shyly, biting your lip a little

drawing even more attention to your lips

Jumin had to stifle a groan, opting to head to the bathroom to change

After splashing some cold water on his face in a poor attempt to get his head out of the gutter, he quickly got on his pjs

after you both were ready for bed, Jumin sat on the bed, opening a small novel he’d been enjoying, Anthem.

His attention was immediately diverted from the dystopian fiction when he saw you were stretching

His shirt rode up high as he took in the way the lingerie perfect accentuated your curves, though it didn’t cover much below the waist

Noticing your folly, your eyes widened in shock before you immediately put your hands down

which, just your luck, made it all worse.

the sudden movement disheveled the shirt, causing it to ride down completely on one side, openly displaying the soft brassiere beneath it

Jumin slammed his book so hard it left an echo in the large room.

Great. He couldn’t even make it look like his book was suddenly unbelievably interesting that he just so happened to not take notice of the obvious sight before him.

You blanched, feeling a breeze along your shoulder, gasping before running to your side of the bed and pretending you don’t exist anymore

Meanwhile Jumin is in a c r i s i s

In the most eloquent of words, his mind said holy fucking motherfucking shit oh my God fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh my god shit shit shit fuck shit sdfasodjgiajsidogjosdg MALFUNCTION!! WARNING!!!! RUN BITCH!!!

But Jumin didn’t run

because mama ain’t raise no bitch

but also because if he stood up it would be blatantly obvious that he had--

Stop thinking about it, Jumin.

He tried to redirect his mind to his 5 senses, a grounding technique he’d learned when he got too anxious when he was younger

But sight seemed to dominate it as his mind replayed your facial expressions, the way your hands awkwardly tried to cover yourself up, the way you looked the way he’d take it all off---

Oh God. I’m deep in shit.

He had never been so pissed at himself... and embarrassed.

He looked over at you, a horrible decision, really.

You were still awake, your face was redder than the strawberry sent that adorned you

“s-sorry..” you whispered, willing yourself to try to forget, “pretend that never happened..”

Jumin was practically feral and you were saying it never happened?

Jumin couldn’t just pretend he didn’t just see a fucking goddess

but he would for you

“..........pretend what never happened?”

You sighed, a small smile on your face as you quickly turned to thank him

but he was a LOT closer than you imagined

he was propped up on one elbow, looking down at you, his head slightly angled.

And suddenly your faces weren’t so far apart.

And you couldn’t help but slowly close your eyes

Jumin felt confusion when you’d done this

he can be a bit of a pea brain, so he of course said, “I’m sure you’re very tired.”

He shut off the light, reaching over you

You held back the big frown you’d gotten when you realized he’d rejected you

unbeknownst to you that it took everything in him, from the moment he’d saw you in the jet cabin, not to scoop you up in his arms and make out with you the whole way there.

Zen

Was Zen going to invite you to his own fucking tour?

Of course he was

he liked flexing his connections

and most of all, showing you just how much he cared about you

and loved you

but not the love part because God if you ever found out Zen might jump into the nearest body of water and never return

not that he didn’t have any confidence

he has lots of it

but it all kind of disintegrates when he gets to talking about his real feelings

But come on, it was blatantly obvious to anyone who had heckin eyes

or ears

or just any functioning body

the way he’d try to subtly throw an arm over your shoulder

or he’d lean in whenever you spoke

or the way he’d readjust his posture when you walked into a room

or the way everyone caught him staring

like anytime you weren’t looking

or when you are looking because he is “built different”

So the limo ride to the fancy hotel he was to stay at was something that had him looking forward to the tour, but also dreading it

you’d sat close to him in the limo because his agent and other workers were sitting along with him.

So close that your ass got pushed further and further onto his lap

because damn where the fuck are we and why are there so many goddamn potholes

Zen tried to steady you by firmly grabbing your hips

which was NOT the move

because now that you were firmly set on his lap, every bump felt like a fucking war against his hormones.

Like a gentleman, he quickly opted to seat you next to him, not wanting you to feel embarrassed

still, he could feel you being pulled closer to him with every long turn the limo made or every bump or abrupt stop

and it was torture.

like this man is sweating

but by some miracle you arrive at the hotel in one piece! Yay!

but Zen’s soul has left his body~~

so you get set up

You open the room, “Look, Zen! This bed is HUGE!!”, you ran over to it and plopped your face onto the sheets

He chuckled, watching you act like a little kid excited about a hotel for the first time

his brows furrowed when he realized there was no door separator between your rooms

He immediately called the front desk

all you could over hear was “No, there seems to be some kind of mistake”

and “I reserved two rooms -- conjoined”

“Alright, ok. Thanks.” and then he hung up.

“So..” he sighed, “They can’t get another room because they’re completely booked. Someone must’ve recognized the limo and lots of fans immediately bought up all the rooms in hopes of seeing me.”

“It’s alright Zen! I can ask to switch with your agent or something!!”

“NO!” Zen said a little too loudly. “No. Um, look it would be bad because he’s a man.”

“Your a dude, too, Zen.”

“I-- yeah, but that’s different because I’m a guy you can trust.”

“True..”

“So I’ll sleep on the couch, ‘kay?”

“Zen, no! You need your beauty sleep to be ready for your performance tomorrow!!!”

“It’s alright, really!”

“I’ll sleep on the couch!”

“Like hell you will.”

“Please :(”

“Y/N, seriously--”

“Then how about this! You and I just sleep in the same bed!”

Ever the dramatic soul, Zen gasped with his palm over his heart “How SCANDALOUS!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be Mr. Playboy?”

“Only for you, baby”, he winked.

You stuttered, “T-that’s not funny! Seriously don’t make it weird you horn- dog!”

He threw his head back in laughter, “Horn-dog?! I thought you said you trusted me!”

“Not when you’re obviously thinking about doing this and that to me!!”

“Doing this and tha---Hey! Who do you think I am?!”

There was suddenly a loud bang on the wall and a burly man shouted, “GO TO FUCKIN’ SLEEP YOU OBNOXIOUS, SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED LITTLE SHITS!”

You smirked, holding in a laugh saying, “Sounds like your fans are getting jealous.”

Zen’s mouth dropped and you began laughing hysterically

“T-that was like a 60 year old man!”

“I’M 42 YOU LITTLE SHIT”

You fell back on the bed, laughing louder

Zen shouted back, “WELL EXCUSE ME, SEXY, 42 YEAR OLD MAN”

There was silence before a harsh knock sounded at your door

All Zen’s bravado disintegrated and he made a dash for the bed, whispering loudly for you to “Turn off the fuckin’ lights, turn off the fuckin’ lights!”

You stifled more giggles rising up to your throat as you clicked off the light, making sure the room was locked, and climbed into bed

you breathed out your last laughs, sighing to yourself contentedly before noticing the close proximity you were to Zen

You stared at each other for a long moment

You leaned in closer

Zen placed a palm on your cheek, gently cupping it

he softly whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

You answered by harshly connecting your lips

The two of you feeding off each other’s oxygen as Zen bit your lip, causing you to gasp and open your mouth to make way for his tongue

you whimpered, feeling faint from lack of oxygen

the two of you parted, out of breath

Zen wanted to say something smooth like “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

but instead he said “I’ve always wanted to do you.”

He mentally smacked his head, blaming the lack of oxygen for his stupidity

But you smirked up at him coyly, replying, “Then why don’t you?”

Um yeah rip your hotel neighbor he will literally hate both of you so much

I had honestly SO MUCH FUN writing this!! Let me know if you want, like, a part two to this. I think I’d just be so fun lol

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