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spnfanficpond · 5 years

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January Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations. If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

And we’d like to make a special shout out and say thank you to Ana and Kenzi for your total of 15 Angel Fish Nominations this month! The two of you together nominated 14 authors and the kind of passion for reading and reciprocating your feedback is exactly what we love to see. Thank you both for sharing so much love this month!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE JANUARY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @sorenmarie87

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

Jen’s fics are always so well written and detailed to a point where it feels like it could actually happen. Not to mention her characterization is on point. This fic in particular is different from what I’ve read before and everyone should give it a chance.

Nominated by @littlegreenplasticsoldier

How You & I Will Be (series) by @katehuntington

I’m nominating this fic, which (fair disclosure) I beta’d becuase it does a really really really really great job of fulfilling the brief it set out to achieve: making you cry.

It’s a story of unrequited love between Dean and the reader and it’s doomed, from the outset. Kate unpacks nearly every angle and moment and hold them up for you as they burn away, right in from of your eyes. Ruby-level patience. Nice at brutal.

So if you like your angst and tears, have at it friends. Cheers, Ali.

(TW for major character death.)

Nominated by @rosieakacanadianspnhunter

Thunder Rolls by @amanda-teaches

I'm not afraid of thunder, but I definitely felt the fear. I'd totally pretend to be if it meant Dean would distract me this way! I loved the addition of Dean telling the reader what his own biggest fear is! Hot!

Nominated by @percywinchester27

The First Bite (oneshot) by @shy-violet-soul

Firstly, can I just say that I am absolutely in love with their work? The writer is so sure of what they want to say and know exactly how to say it. And that is a rare thing, when no word is unnecessary. I absolutely fell in love with the characterization of young Dean and Sam. And the OCs are enchanting. Don’t remember the last time I fell in love with an OC so quickly! And the husband-wife duo in the fic are simply adorable. The context and background of the story paint a lovely picture. And Dean… damn that boy breaks your heart. All in all would recommend it 100% Go check the author out!

The Babysitter (series) @mrswhozeewhatsis

I never thought I would ever commit to a 65 chapter series, but damn! this one felt like a couple of pages, and even after it ended, I was running around my room, screaming like a zombie with “MOREEEEEEEEEEEE.” This could have very well been a parallel world in itself. Like another reality that Jack could create a rift to, where the Winchesters are happy. They have this sister/mother/friend figure in their lives who is absolutely awe-inspiring. She is tender, good and badass but oh so realistic with her feelings. I go back and read the timestamps a lot and my fav chapter where they are in the hotel room at the very end and prank the hell out of everyone else. I was in splits the first time and still am. This doesn’t white wash John, but brings out the best in him. JUST. GO. READ IT. You are fucking welcome!

Living With Regrets (series) by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing

The pain!! OH GOD THE PAIN!! The author can personally attest to how I hounded her over this series in her IMs. The timing of each chapter is so perfect that it just leave you with the right amount of angst and desperation for the next chapter. I wanted to push both the characters together and close the door behind them so they could just fucking TALK!! I am emotional about this okay? Also while I wanted to hug and cuddle the little OC, I wanted to strangle and murder the other one!! This series brought out quite a lot of passion in me, one that I didn’t know I had the capacity of feeling over a fictional work, still does. It is an adorable little world that you all should definitely be a part of! Go…go….go!!

Silk and Rough Velvet (series) by @blacktithe7

SARV was the first long series I attempted to read. Also the first AU. It altered my life. Rockstar!Jensen suddenly became a real thing. Y'all have no clue how much this series had awed me. Even now when I mention the series to a third party, my first reaction is - “You haven’t read it? What are you doing with your life?” It has the perfect amount of love, angst and fluff. Gosh! It is the freaking best! Most days there are no words. Today is one of them!

Series Rewrite (series) @torn-and-frayed

A true masterpiece! I don’t know how do you even begin to attempt something like this. The reader is inserted in the rewrite SO FLAWLESSLY!!! SO EFFORTLESSLY that it is crazy! Like what even??? I mean she has a personality of her own. And as strong a presence as Sam or Dean. More importantly, she does not undermine the relationship of the brothers. Does not take away from their moments, all the while creating her own bonds. I love that she is in love with Dean. But damn, I love what she has with Sam, too. The author manages to perfectly capture the essence of the rewrite in the best way possible. Excellent job!

Fresh Start (series) by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

This one is unique in it’s uncomplicatedness (that isn’t a word, but deal with it) Like whoa, the reader is so fucking relatable! I am sure all authors can relate when they make a reader super-strong, super-understanding, super-witty. This one is just super-relatable. And that is the hardest fucking thing to do! The OC is charming AF, and the underlying pain of a dead lover is significant. It is not in your face, it is not too underplayed, but it’s subtle and THERE. Kudos at having achieved the perfect balance of everything. It is rare and awesome! Read this ONE!

Close Every Door (series) by @jotink78

I have never known the sort of pain and angst that this series inflicted on me, I kid you not. I wanted to steamroll everyone,and everybody. If you caught me reading a chapter, there was a good chance that I was either feeling extremely murderous and was sobbing incessantly in the corner. I’ve said it before, despite being one of the kindest people, the author sure knows how to be cruel when it comes to writing. This series is sure to rip your freaking heart part, stomp all over it and out it back. BUT SO WORTH IT!!

More Than You Bargained For (series) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Best bodyguard!AU I have ever read. It was fun and exciting without getting too palpitating, which is good because the chase and suspense were fantastically written. And the twist at the end, you’d never fucking see that coming. I bet!! I love how they slowly fall for each other even through all their differences. This one I couldn’t put down, it was so good. If you are looking for something to curl up with on a cozy and comfortable Saturday, this is your THING!! Don’t forget to curl in with a blanket and hot mug of coffee before you get started!

Five years of Christmas (oneshot) by @deanssweetheart23

This is a life worth’s contentment packed in a single fic, neatly wrapped and gifted to you. The words have the softness of petals and the harshness of shards of ice that pierce you and then you die! But then come back later. The author doesn’t only make fiction out the words…. she makes poetry. It flows, straight into your heart. Now, you might think I am being cheesy, but read the fic and then come back. We’ll see who is cheesy then! But seriously, y'all need to get behind this. It is the freaking best. I am in love <3

Nominated by @ellen-reincarnated1967

Red String of Fate (oneshot) by @evansrogerskitten

Sweet, serendipitous, a bit heartbreaking, and an 'Ah ha! Yes!!!' ending!!! Honestly, I'd recommend everything on her masterlist, but I've been saving this one for a rainy day read and was not disappointed!

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

What Could Have Been (series) by @flamencodiva

Holy moly, this series is killing me. SO MUCH ANGST, yet there’s sweet stuff mixed in there, too. Every day, I look forward to seeing if there’s a new chapter posted!

The Cursed (series) by @saxxxology

This series was posted before, and Saxxxy edited it and reposted it, and it’s fabulous, now! It’s got an intriguing premise, Sweet and protective Sammy, and super hot Alpha!Sam smut! *shiver* It’s awesome!

Her Saviours (series) by @bamby0304

This series is giving me a heart attack. There’s John, there’s Sam, there’s Dean, but John’s gone, and Sam’s recovering from Jess’s death, and Dean is sweet but has his wandering eye. It’s ABO, and there’s so much love and heartbreak and hormones that I honestly can’t wait for the next chapter to post!

Wishverse (series) by @crashdevlin

This series is a sequel to another series, A Hard Ten. After what happens in Hard Ten, the reader gets her wish and goes back in time, getting the chance to metaphorically turn left instead of right. It’s got sweetness and smutty smut and angst and everything you could ever want! Seeing how everything plays out is fascinating as hell, and I can’t wait to see where this ends up!

Nominated by @samsexualdeancurious

The Cursed (series) by @saxxxology

This is a repost of one of the many fabulous fics that were lost when Saxxy’s blog got deleted, so a lot of people have already read it at least once. It hasn’t gotten many notes this time around, though, which is an absolute crime because this fic is just as amazing the second time around as it was the first.

Bitten (series) by @saxxxology

I am head over heels in love with this fic. It has a perfect blend of angst, fluff, and smut, and I’ve been enjoying every word of it.

Tomorrow (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

This fic is so cute! I love Dean so much, especially in this fic. Rhi writes him so well and every word out of his mouth is just so Dean is hurts. Also, I can guarantee most of us have at least felt the way this reader does, which makes this fic even more perfect.

Forbidden (oneshot) by @becs-bunker

This fic murdered me. I am dead and writing this from my suite in Hell. Crowley says “hi” and that he agrees this fic is perfectly sinful. It’s not a fic for anyone who doesn’t like Wincest or Full House of Wincest, but it’s definitely a fic for me.

Playing Victim (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Ugh, yes. Gimme all the Sub!Dean/Dom!Reader. There’s simply not enough of that in this fandom and Chrissy nails it so well. Also, the gif she used? Should be illegal.

Three Kisses (oneshot by) @impala-dreamer

I was dying by the end of this fic. A little angsty, a lot sexy, and then fucking hilarious. Rebekah writes Sam and Dean so well, especially Dean’s snarky big brother side, and I love it.

Nominated by @manawhaat

Let Me Carry You (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!!! Ugh, this fic hurts so fucking good. It’s soft, it’s brutal, it’s so sad it splits you at the seams and makes a home in the hole it punched in your chest. But most importantly, it gives you hope. There’s an honesty that’s written into this story, into Dean and into the reader, and that kind of love and care in crafting this short fic is all anyone could ask for <3

The Truth about Lust (series?) by @scorpiongirl1

Ho, ho, HOLY SHITBALLS! THE DUB CON! This entire thing rides my borderline of fuck no and fuck yes EXCEPTIONALLY WELL! Unf! The story is believable and the way Sam reacts to what’s happening to him is so on point. The remorse and apologies, the snarly growly creature of sex, the restraint and the care he takes for the reader when he literally is dying of lust...jesus fuck. It’s all so Sam. Read it and then go masturbate because, yeah. I did.

Headlights Off (drabble) by @samsexualdeancurious

Yowza, does this girl know how to write that Wincest! Fun, sexy, adventurous, funny. What can I say? It’s everything you want from a wincest fic.

Free and Easy Down The Road I Go (oneshot) by @samsexualdeancurious

Wincest? Yes. Impala? Yes. Nipple clamps on a slightly subby Sammy? Fuck yes. Snarky, smug Dean giving a world class hand job? Oh yeah, you betcha.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AWESOME WORK AND GREAT FEEDBACK!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be! :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

#afa masterlist #afas #angel fish awards #spn fanfic #supernatural fic rec #fan fiction #spn fan fiction #supernatural fan fiction

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coeurxdor · 5 years

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✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played♫ ━ a small playlist for a muse of your choiceღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?

✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played

dorcas is one of my favs lmao but her aside…. uhhh… honestly i’m someone who generally creates a character for LIFE ( i’ve been writing some characters for nearly a decade now ) so… this isn’t easy. i’ll say neal brar (oc), kitsey greyson (oc, i never get to write her and it’s such a shame), and valentina salgado (oc) ok fuck also tiberius ogden (oc) and malena bedford (oc) i can’t leave either of them out.

✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?

[here]

ღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?

dorcas with any of the marauders like………………………. no thanks. never, thanks. ( MAYBE with james or peter in some au, but it’s a pretty massive maybe ). or like ships with death eaters that are completely random and have zero solid/logical foundations.

otherwise, i’m super open with ships. i’m primarily plot based, even with my ships to be honest. i’ve been in situations where dorcas had chemistry with another character but the plots me and the other player came up, ship-wise, just didn’t speak to me at all so even though we were supposed to “ship” because our characters had chemistry or w/e, i wasn’t really up for it.

i’ve had some nice ships with ocs from historical verses, modern royalty, and x-men verses.

in the harry potter universe, i’ve had ships with a bunch of ocs and minor canons. think it, i’ve probably done it. i’ve had ships with muggle characters, death eaters (members or leaning), order members, journalists, diplomats, hit wizards, inventors, celebrities, etc.

all of these are old as shit and i haven’t talked to my partners in ages but thus far my most well plotted out + favourite ships/ship plots have been with:

gideon prewett - it was a friends turned lovers ship, but it was very complicated as it developed over the course of a solid 5 years and with the war gideon developed a drinking problem and there were many other mini sub-plots… it was… great, but MY kind of great with lots of character development and slow burn and it ended with them going “ok we can figure this out we’ll make a proper effort” and then gideon died like a week later lmao. ( we had a star wars au for this too )

evan rosier - met at school. they were just kids. he stopped talking to her when he was 12 because he found out she was a halfblood and she absolutely didn’t put up with his nonsense. two years later they had the chance to talk about it… and they were unable to stop talking since then, behind doors that is. they always had a very peculiar dynamic, meeting in the middle in certain aspects, being ruled by their education and backgrounds in others, and above all showing each other two very different perspectives of what would become a war ( and, in their own ways, they used the knowledge they got from each other as a sort of leverage later on - knowledge is power, so it goes ). after graduation they grew apart, then close again, then he tried to pull some really stupid things after he got married and their dynamic deteriorated considerably after that and as the war progressed. there was always going to be something there even if only given to how much they shared with each other, but i was very open about dorcas not having romantic feelings for him anymore ( and gd knows having them in the first place was an identity crisis as it was ) but my partner at the time told me he would continue to have feelings for her which made the whole dynamic even more interesting. there was always tension, and angst, and power dynamics and one time they did exchange war related information once ( they never said where their affiliations lied, but they didn’t need to at that point, to either of them it was blatantly clear ) but it was on a very particular case concerning the murder of a diplomat where both the order and the death eaters were being blamed when neither side had been involved.

an oc auror AND I APOLOGIZE BUT YOU’LL ALL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME WITH THIS ONE BC IT WAS ONE OF MY FAV DYNAMICS AND I LOVE AND MISS IT DEARLY. they met while she was still studying to be a healer, he asked her out she said yes but then life happened and they never did get to go on that date. fast-forward a year she’s working at the ministry as a secretary like five desks away from him, huffing at aurors and hit wizards for not filling their reports correctly and no she’s not going to bloody write them for you. he was awkward and self-conscious about it but there were no hard feelings about the failed date (dorcas had literally just joined the order so she had a lot on her plate anyway). very gradually they got talking, hooked up, it turned into a “oh no don’t worry about it it was nothing serious we were just blowing off some steam” which turned into “oh crap im falling in love” and eventually they started dating and it was the most wonderful thing in the world… and then like 6 months into it dorcas broke up with him because it was, like, early 1979 and every time they got together he ended up talking poorly of the order ( they broke up when, one day, he was trashing the order after, unbeknownst to him, the order had saved his ass and his partner’s ass and dorcas was just sitting there with the damn take out he had brought thinking “i really did this to myself huh fuck my entire life i have to end this”. they ended things abruptly and still very much in love. ) fast-forward some months he ends up reaching out to her somewhat awkwardly because he doesn’t know who to talk to ( he was a person of strong convictions but very private and he had grown very used to being able/feeling comfortable talking to her ). what did he want to get off his chest? that he had just discovered he had child. some 3 year old girl. the mother kept him in the dark about their daughter ( her reasons were that she didn’t think he was ever going to make a good father due to how much of a workaholic he was ) and he stumbled on the information. he ended up admitting to dorcas he desperately wanted to have a relationship with the child but didn’t know how to and long story short they started dating again, so painfully gradually and casually. dorcas wasn’t always present when he was with his daughter, but she was far from a stranger to the little girl. however, by mid 1980 the war was at its peak and dorcas was leading like 4 parallel lives and going to too many funerals - she was running on fumes and she did have an emotional breakdown once in front of him one time but it was after his daughter caught dragon pox and he assumed she was just overwhelmed and being sensitive ( he was so thrown off that while he was anxious himself he even went as far as cracking a joke about how she was the one who usually kept it together ). in early 1981 he started seeing his daughter more regularly, there was an unofficially joint custody thing going, and he wanted to take their relationship to the next level. not marriage by any means just, something more tangible and sure and clear, primarily because he didn’t want to have someone in his daughter’s life who would just not be in it for the long run. so they sat down and he told her everything that was going on inside his head, he said that it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her to be around he just needed to have the conversation with her… and dorcas was sitting there thinking “yes, this is something i want, this doesn’t scare me, this makes me happy, i love this person and i love that little girl like she was mine and i want to grow to love her and her father even more.” so she said she didn’t. she said she wasn’t interested; that he had read her wrong. she thought of the two broken ribs she had some weeks prior and how edgar and his wife and their children were six feet under. they parted away, never spoke again, and she was murdered like 5 months later in july/august. i shared ideas and hcs, but, as an active contributing writer, the story ended here for me. however, the way my former roleplay partner wrote what happened after dorcas’ death goes like this:years later, he ended up marrying the mother of his child ( they were able to reconnect in a healthy way because of how much character development he experienced while dating dorcas ). they had two other children. around twenty years later, the dust of the second war settling and previously private information about both wars was gradually becoming public. one morning his eldest daughter was reading the newspaper and she casually asked mom and dad, sitting at the table with her, if they knew anyone who fought in the first war. they both mentioned a handful of hit wizards and aurors, and that was that - she closed the newspaper dismissively and left to meet with friends. it was summer. i can’t remember if it was later that day or the day after, but he asked her what had prompted her to ask such question and she said there was a face in the newspaper that seemed familiar. he asked her the name of the person, she couldn’t remember only that it was “funny but familiar”, and as she went to get the newspaper she continued that that neither he nor mom had said it. he got his glasses, she opened the newspaper for him in the multi-page article about new information from the first war and pointed at one of the several small moving photographs - the penny dropped as he recognized the face right away.a lot of things made sense after he found out dorcas was a member of the order, it was, in a way a relief for him to discover it because it filled in a lot of blanks ( and it made him feel better in the sense that no, he hadn’t been the problem in their relationship )… but on the other hand it was also highly bittersweet and conflicting, and he had more questions and about a thousand new feelings and emotions to process. the worst part was she had been dead for two decades so it wasn’t as thought he could talk to her about it. i think that ( i can’t remember ) at some point, in anger and frustration, he thought that she should have told him, and then he remembered what he was like and what his views of the order were and he was forced to admit to himself that if she had said anything to him, if she had trusted him with that information, his self from twenty years ago would have been highly judgmental and ended things immediately ( we had an au where this happened and it was the most horrible thing - it was right after an attack and they hadn’t even showered yet and dusted themselves off and he just told her to leave, didn’t even look her in the eye ). eventually he came to terms with her decisions and understood why she had made them and was able to tell his eldest daughter why the women in the photo looked familiar.

i don’t think i’ve had a single ship for dorcas, in any universe, where she ends up happy lmao bottoms up i don’t know how to write happy endings (unless it’s in aus) cheers.

♫ ━ a small playlist

ok so im really really really realllly bad at playlists and i’ve already done one for dorcas here and i don’t want to make another lmao so can i make two mini ones for two of your characters instead?

for robb stark

kids - mgmt

fire - kasabian

everybody’s watching me - the neighbourhood

seven nation army - the white stripes

howl - florence and the machine

afterlife - arcade fire

bonus: heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs // pretty fly for a white guy - the offspring

for rose tyler

perfect places - lorde

run away with me - carly rae jepsen

the last of the real ones - fall out boy

drops of jupiter - train

adventure of a lifetime - coldplayp

#bonfierhearts #id say sorry about the bonus ones buT lmao #ty so much for asking and im sorry i got a lil carried away #[🌻] answered

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punchdrunkdoc · 7 years

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5x20 aka: Olicity heaven (with a bit of hell in the last 4 minutes)

It's official, season 5 of Arrow has started! It's a shame the season is so short (starting at 5x17 for some reason. Weird) but I'm enjoying it so far!

I'm only slightly kidding. There was very little about the previous 16 episodes of the show that remotely interested me, and I doubt I'll ever watch them in full; I saw all the 'best' parts in gif-form and short clips and that will do as far as I'm concerned. And you may think that disqualifies me from giving my opinion on the final 7 episodes of the season...but I'm going to anyway. Because what I have to say about 5x20 really only concerns one aspect of the show.

Olicity

This episode was amazing for us shippers. So many wonderful moments. And a few terrible ones as well, but I'll save them for last, lest I be accused of harshing people's buzz or being overly negative.

So first, the positives.

This is gonna be nothing groundbreaking. You've all seen the episode; you've posted and reblogged and tweeted the gifs, with all the appropriate accompanying squeeing. But let me break down my favs:

The flashback scenes were DELIGHTFUL!

(gif by @just-me-and-the-tv)

Tipsy Olicity was on my wish list for Arrow for ages (I ended up having to write my own scene to satisfy my desires) - its so clear that they're FRIENDS first and foremost. They enjoy spending time with each other, and basking in the other's actions and reactions.

The whole salmon ladder sequence was a joy, from Oliver's earnest teaching technique to Felicity's babbles, then the slooooowwww slide she took down Oliver's body, to her initiating the kiss...

(gif by @whoeveryoulovethemost)

And the kissing was uber-hot. I don't know if it's because we were deprived of new material and the old kissing gifs had become a bit too familiar, but man those kisses were on another level! You really felt how much they'd missed each other's lips. How much sinking into those kisses was like coming home; so familiar, but with a new edge of longing and tempered joy.

Perfectly captured in this moment, which was my favourite bit of the whole flashback:

(gifs by @ironstarkasm)

And when Oliver grabbed her and spun her around...I swear I gasped out loud thinking we were gonna see a whole 'nother dominant side to Oliver. But we ended up with Felicity on top again, which felt really fitting. The girl really likes the view from up there!

I loved the present day interactions as well; so much harsher and layered with new pain and frustration, but still with that unshakeable core of love and respect. The EW recap said it best:

THIS is the Arrow I love to watch. Characters working together, supporting each other, facing conflict drawn from their differing view of the world - not from contrived plot points and 'shock value' moments. And, most importantly, confiding in each other:

(gif by @felicitys)

This moment was heartbreaking, not least because to Oliver it was almost a deathbed confession. He NEEDED her to understand where he was coming from. It was imperative that she knew that his apparent lack of trust was not because of her. It was because of him.

The concept and execution of this confession was beautiful; the content...that will be in the negative section.

For now, more positives. I loved the tension and physicality of the bunker sequence. The stunts were incredible - and it was obvious why SA was hitting the gym hard in the lead up to filming. The dude was hauling EBR all over the shop. My absolute favourite moment was after Felicity injects Oliver with adrenaline. SA's comic timing and delivery (something we don't get nearly enough of) was on point! Why aren’t there a million gifs of this! I can watch this on a loop!

And after is slightly crazy-eyed ‘Good’, he just matter-of-factly Oliver pulled Felicity on to his back. He would carry her to the ends of the earth if need be.

And she would sacrifice herself so he wouldn't need to:

(gif by @felicitys)

Goddam, this is how you OTP!

Which is why...I'm kinda bummed the episode was brought down from potential 'best episode ever' status by some questionable writing choices that have more to do with other episodes rather than 5x20.

First up, the issue of break ups and apologies. Oliver has still not uttered the words 'I'm sorry for lying and sneaking behind your back' to Felicity. I know some people in this fandom feel his actions and his vows in the fake wedding were an apology of sorts, but its not enough for me. And I doubt we'll ever hear him apologise properly at this point.

Because the party line of the show has always been that the lies themselves were merely symptomatic of bigger issues: trust and judgement.

Trust

Felicity feels that Oliver doesn't trust her. Oliver explained that the problem was never with her, it was with him. This is the content of that scene I eluded to above, when Oliver confesses his secret. It just feels like a convoluted leap in logic to me. Oliver's convinced he enjoys killing..ergo Felicity feels he doesn't trust her.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = Oliver is not deserving of love and trust.

THIS logic I can understand (I don't agree with it, because Oliver is good and deserves all the happiness in the world), but I can see the thought progression. I don't understand how that equates to not being able to trust others.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = the team should not sacrifice their souls in his name = he doesn’t want Felicity going bad

Fine, this works for explaining his objections to Helix. But the scene after this confession immediately switched to the flashback where Felicity said:

(gif by @felicitys)

In the context of William, that explanation makes little sense.

Oliver likes killing = Oliver is bad = Oliver cannot trust himself = how can he trust others if he can't trust himself.

Maybe this is what they're getting at? Still feels a little flimsy. But that's Arrow-logic for you.

Judgement

When I first watched the scene in the hospital I was severely pissed that Felicity apologised (AGAIN) for the break up. In the flashback she apologised for walking instead of talking things out. This I can (grudgingly) understand.

But then she apologised for judging Oliver too harshly and holding him to a high standard she herself fell short of in S5. An understanding she gained by joining Helix.

Because joining Helix = morally questionable = difficult decision made for the right reasons, even if people get hurt = the same as lying to your fiancee about your secret son.

Okay, Arrow. Fine.

I'll accept your premise: Oliver didn’t tell Felicity about William because he enjoys killing and therefore doesn’t trust anyone...and Felicity broke up with him because she hadn’t yet joined Helix and therefore didn’t understand the difficult position lying points you in.

I give in.

It's done, you've addressed it (and retconned it to fit in nicely with your S5 arcs) and we should just move on. I’m willing to ignore all of that INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING AND INFURIATING MESS OF A STORYLINE and just look forward to the reconciliation.

And I will...after one last point, which is more to do with the S5 writing disaster.

It was explicitly stated in 5x20 that Felicity's motivations for joining Helix and going hard for Prometheus...was because of Billy. This just felt like Wendy finally getting the chance to put her head canon on screen after giving interview after interview explaining Billy as the motivation for Felicity’s ‘dark arc’. It doesn’t matter that, until now, Billy was barely mentioned, and it was much more obvious to the viewer that Felicity was gunning for Prometheus because of OLIVER.

I would have LOVED to have seen a moment like this:

Oliver: I know you joined Helix because you wanted justice for Billy-

Felicity: No. I mean, yes. Maybe that was the start of it. But, Oliver...what Prometheus did to YOU - the kidnapping, the torture, the mind games...I was doing all this just as much for you. You've suffered enough over the past 10 years. You've sacrificed for everyone you love, I couldn't bear to see you in any more pain. And if I could stop Prometheus - by whatever means - I was going to do it. For you.

But no. It was all for Billy. The guy we didn't even see her meet, or know when that was, or how their relationship started, or what she liked about him (apart from being bland and nice)...Despite the flimsiness of that character, HE was her driving force.

The Billy-of-it-all, also leads on to my next gripe.

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF YOU, TINY-HANDS MAN!

Going into this episode, I posted some thoughts on the supposed intentions of the flashbacks, i.e. to explain the Olicity interactions in 5A. As I mentioned in that post, the success of 5x20 would depend on its ability to make sense of 5A....and I think it did the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I think the flashbacks worked, in terms of paralleling the present time (Felicity wasn't ready to talk, now she is; Felicity didn't understand why Oliver couldn't trust, now she does).

But they do NOT explain 5A. Because I still do not understand why Felicity was suddenly in an established relationship with another man. The flashbacks ended with Felicity basically saying she needed time before talking about the breakup, and Oliver said he would be waiting for her when she was ready. The only reason to bother talking about the reasons for the breakup would be to reunite! So this scene, to me, was Felicity very much leaving the door open to reconciliation.

Begin Rant:

Which makes her relationship with Billy (a handful of months later) so inexplicable! When/why/how did she decide she was just going to push aside her relationship with Oliver and try with someone else? And she KNEW he was waiting for her, so her incredulous ‘No!’ when he asked if she was keeping the door open for them in 5x05 was insensitive at best, when viewed in the context of 5x20.

Similarly, how does Oliver's 'I’m totally fine you’re seeing someone else’ make any sense given how they left things after Bunker!Sex:

He should have been PISSED! Because she never gave him the courtesy of telling him she was moving on. And waiting until she knew if it was 'real' is bullshit. The fact she started dating in the first place, even if only casually, was a MAJOR step that he deserved to know about.

I didn't understand 5x05 the first time, but figured Felicity wasn't obligated to tell Oliver anything because she firmly closed the door on him in 4x16. They were O.V.E.R.

But she opened that door during that flashback. And she knew Oliver was waiting on the doorstep.

So why did she sneak out the back door and start fooling around with a cop? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

Plus this all gives credence to my assumption that 5x20 was never in the original plan. Otherwise, 5x05 would have been written differently, to incorporate the 5x20 FB dynamic better.

End rant.

So those are my thoughts.

Well done if you reached the end - I did ramble on a bit, but I needed to vent.

And it’s turned out to be therapeutic. I’ve since rewatched the ep after writing out all these grievances (and with my ‘giving in to the narrative’ frame of mindI) and it actually made the episode even more enjoyable! Arrow is never going to fix the mess they made, so I’m going with the out of sight, out of mind approach by just concentrating on the goodness to come.

Bring on the rest of the season!

#Arrow #Olicity #5x20 #my thoughts

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