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scoobydoofenshmirtz · 3 years

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The Horny Cinematography of Seasons 4 and 5 of Supernatural

So I made this kinda silly post about how horny the late Kripke era of Supernatural was and it was mostly meant as a joke, but then it got me thinking. So I did a little bit of digging, went through some memorable scenes, and noticed some actual patterns in the way Dean and Castiel are shot versus other characters. Disclaimer: this is not exactly a scientific analysis. I didn’t rewatch the entire two seasons for this and there are probably shots with other characters that I missed that go against it, but this is just the general trend that I noticed.

Click on the images for higher resolution. Analysis is under the cut.

So the general premise of this analysis is that Cas and Dean are shot noticeably close-up, typically staring intensely into each other’s eyes. I think we all know about the whole staring thing, but the actual close-ups were way more intense then I think some people might realize, especially when compared to other interactions between different characters. Cas in particular is shot very close-up frequently whether he’s talking to someone else or by himself (there are so many gorgeous close-ups of Misha in season 4), but the intense eye contact is pretty much only with Dean.

It starts off almost immediately in 4x01 Lazarus Rising where in Dean and Castiel’s very first interaction, they stand very close and the camera focuses on their faces. First we have two close-ups, then in what is maybe my favorite shot in all of Supernatural, Castiel steps in closer to Dean and the close-ups get even tighter. He tilts his head and stares thoughtfully at Dean with those big blue eyes. Cut to Dean’s look of discomfort after being told (very accurately) “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

Things amp up in literally Castiel’s second appearance in 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester with one of the horniest Destiel scenes in the show (again this is only their second interaction!) We have Castiel unexpectedly showing up at Bobby’s house, Dean sassing him, and Castiel stepping very close to Dean and saying “You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.” This is a very tense interaction with some beautiful low key lighting that pretty much went extinct after season 5. Notice how tight the frame is, even compared to 4x01. These are extreme close-ups where both Dean and Castiel’s chins and foreheads are cut out of the frame.

Castiel’s third appearance in 4x03 In the Beginning is a lot more prominent as he has many scenes throughout the episode instead of just one. I’m not gonna include pictures of all of them because there’s lot, but there are plenty of close-ups and intense gazes between the two (e.g. sitting on the bed, “Hello Dean. What were you dreaming about?” which according to Misha, Kim manners said was “too gay” but they did it like that anyway) and contains the first time they touch and the first time they are shot in more high key lighting. Go rewatch the episode if you want to see more lovely close-ups between Dean and Cas.

Next I would like to draw your attention to episode 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. This is Castiel’s fourth appearance and the first time we see him interact with a character who’s not Dean. This is where the differences between how they’re shot start to become apparent. First we have Sam’s first interaction with Castiel (greetings blood freak) that is shot with standard close-ups. Eventually, Dean comes in, conversation happens blah blah blah and we get to the more intense discussion about how the angels want to destroy the town. The discussion is between Dean, Cas, Sam, and Uriel, but Dean and Cas get most of the focus. The camera tells us that they are the main subjects in this scene. Dean and Cas are shot more close-up and tighter and they are standing closer and looking in each others eyes unlike Sam who is looking back and forth between them and standing a few steps back.

Of course this doesn’t stop in season 4. Here is a similar example from 5x02 Good God, Ya’ll! but the difference between Dean and Cas and Sam is even more obvious. This is the “I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you,” exchange which I find interesting. Some people could say here that Cas means “you” plural as in Sam and Dean but the Camera is so focused on just Dean and Cas while Sam just sorta hangs there in the background.

One thing that I think is interesting is that these types of shots-extreme close-ups with two characters looking into each other’s eyes and standing no feet apart-are not necessarily exclusive to Dean and Cas, but they are usually in a different context. Pretty much all (at least that I could remember) the other examples of this type of shot are between one character and a villain. Below we have three fairly intense confrontations between characters, Sam and Uriel in 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester, Dean and Alastair in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin, and Dean and Cas in 4x22 Lucifer Rising. The composition is almost exactly the same with similar lighting as well, but one of these things is not like the other. Very obviously Cas is not a villain and this scene in particular is a huge moment for his character that cements his decision to fully rebel against Heaven for Dean.

Also characters that tend to be that close together looking into each other’s eyes in two shots are usually villains except for Dean and Cas. Below we have a shot of Ruby and Sam very close together right before he drinks her blood and a very close-up shot of Dean and Alastair both in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. Compare that to the two shot from 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester above for example. There is a certain sexual nature in these two villain scenes (and a lot of villain interactions on Supernatural in general). Obviously, Sam and Ruby are literally having sex, but Alastair is also portrayed as a villain who sexually objectifies his victims (the torture scene with Ruby, calling Dean “Daddy’s little girl, etc.) but Cas is not a villain and yet the framing is very similar.

Now I want to compare two fight scenes, one in season 4 and one in season 5. Here we have the fight scene between Ruby and Sam in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer. Ruby is of course a sexy lady who Sam sleeps with in a sexy fight scene where she “proves” that she wants to help Sam by killing the other demon instead of Sam. But of course, the fight scene in 5x18 Point of No Return is shot way more close-up and Dean and Cas are inches away from each other. While I wouldn’t described this scene as “sexy” (Cas is literally beating Dean to a pulp) it is way more charged...intimate isn’t exactly the right word but there’s a similar but more intense erotic energy than in the fight scene with Ruby.

Unrelated side note: there is a great use of breaking the 180 degree rule in this scene that I think works way better in this instance at disorienting the viewer than the shaky cam does.

Next I have some random examples I noticed that show some of the different shots between characters. We have Anna in 4x10 Heaven and Hell right before she has sex with Dean. It’s fairly close-up, but still pretty loose framing compared to a lot of scenes between Dean and Cas. Anna’s entire face is still in the frame. Then we have a scene between Sam and Ruby in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer that is also not as close-up as a lot of Dean and Cas scenes. On the bottom is a shot from 5x17 99 Problems which is I think the closest Sam and Cas physically get in these seasons before they ever hug. It’s more of a medium close-up than most of the scenes between Dean and Cas where they get that close. Lastly I have probably the tightest close-ups between Dean and Cas from 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. It’s similar to the shots from 4x02 but the context is pretty different with Cas trying to reassure Dean about the apocalypse. I know these don’t really have a theme but I thought they were good examples of the general pattern.

Finally I would like to point out a scene that is sort of the opposite which is the infamous staring scene in 4x21 When the Levee Breaks that goes on for like an hour. I don’t really know what to say about this scene only that I can’t believe it’s real. They literally just stand and stare at each other.

So what’s the point of all this? I honestly don’t really know. None of these observations are hard and fast rules and I’m sure there are times when other characters are shot like this. However, Dean and Cas seem to be the only ones consistently framed this way-tight close-ups, staring into each other’s eyes standing zero feet apart. What does it all mean? To me it shows that their bond is unique and special (profound you might say). It’s not even like they’re shot in a similar manner to love interests, it’s that their framing is unique, it stands out. Was it on purpose? Maybe. How shots end up looking is interesting because it really is the work of a lot of different people including the director, the cinematographer, the editors and more. I don’t think they were thinking “we should film Dean and Cas in this very intense way because they’re in love” or anything, but they obviously recognized there was something special between these two characters. And truly, the intentions don’t matter all that much to me. What’s there is there, and watching it the first time around I noticed how close Dean and Cas always were and watching it back post 15x18 all those shots stand out even more to me. There’s really no conclusion here, but I think it’s interesting to look a bit more closely at the cinematography in TV shows that we don’t always think of as having the highest quality production. There’s a lot of layers to be discovered outside of scripts and acting and things we tend to focus on more as viewers.

#destiel #spn meta #supernatural #the cinnamon tography #yes i went to film school and this is what im doing now

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saxxxology · 3 years

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Freedom | oneshot

PAIRING: Sam Winchester x Reader WORD COUNT: 2,446 WARNINGS: spoilers for “Inherit the Earth,” character death, drinking to cope, minor trauma processing, smut, post-sex feels, stress/anxiety NOTE: This fic is set post 15x19 - “Inherit the Earth.” Do not save or repost my work without my consent. This work is 18+ only.

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“So we’re free.”

Sam glances up, casting his eyes over the rim of his beer bottle to where you’re perched on the edge of the counter. Legs slightly parted under the hem of your knee-length nightshirt, back slouched, eyes boring into him like you can see right through his skin and into his soul.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Chuck’s gone, Jack’s… doin’ his thing, I guess. There’s nobody calling the shots for us anymore.”

You hum, tipping back your bottle of vodka to take a long swallow. The clear alcohol burns your throat, and you let out a sigh that turns warm in your chest. “Where’s Dean?”

“Holed up in his room.” Sam swipes his tongue over his teeth. “He hasn’t really been able to process Cas, I figured we could give him a few days.”

“Yeah.” You swallow thickly and raise the bottle to your lips again. “Fuckin’ Cas, man.”

“I know.” Sam chuckles. “He was one of the good ones.”

You nod in agreement. “I’ll second that.”

There’s a long silence, interrupted only by the dull clink of glass on metal, the swish of liquid in an almost-empty glass, and a repetitive shuffle of paper as Sam flips absentmindedly through a two-day-old newspaper.

“How are you?” you ask, eager to break the quiet. Sam’s eyes flicker up to you once again, and you shift a little on the counter. “I’m just asking because you haven’t said much since we got back.”

Sam tightens his lips and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know, really. I feel numb. Like, I don’t know if it just hasn’t hit yet, but… yeah, I feel numb.” He rolls his shoulders back and downs the rest of his beer in a single swallow.

“Same here.” You sniff, screwing the cap back onto the tall vodka bottle and setting it aside. “I’m so tired of it. Dean said Cas died and I felt nothing.”

“You’re in shock,” Sam excuses, “and we’ve been dealing with so much shit, we can’t process all of it at once. Cas deserves to be… he deserves for us to grieve for him, without thinking about anything else.”

You chew on your lower lip, surveying him as he rubs his forehead with one hand. He’s tense, the relief of having Chuck gone only half-there. All three of you are used to things being too good to be true, only for shit to hit the fan right after you’ve booked a beach vacation or a weekend in Vegas.

But hell, you deserve to take a little bit of this newfound freedom for granted. Besides, it’s been a while since you had the time or energy to get laid. Sam’s hot, you’re needy… one night of not considering fallout from anything might be nice.

“Sam?”

“Hmm?”

You take a quick breath, leaning back to brace one hand just behind your hip. “If I asked you to fuck me, would you?”

He stiffens, unable to keep his gaze from drifting over to you. He looks beat; tired and lost and just a little scared of the world. For a second you regret asking, thinking he might just say no and get to blame it all on the alcohol.

“I…” he blows air through his lips as pink stains his cheeks. “Are you drunk?”

“Not really.” You speak a little too soon, as your focus begins to drift and you blink twice to clear your vision. “Well, maybe not enough.”

“No, don’t drink any more.” Sam stands up, abandoning his empty bottle on the table as he shuffles over to you. The toes of his boots drag on the polished concrete floor; he’s so cautious about it, like he’s scared to indulge in something other than people prying him for answers or questions. He hates selfishness, and taking this, taking you… it’ll be the ultimate self-indulgence that he may or may not come out of feeling like he deserved it.

“You scared of me?” you tease, tipping your head back as he leans a hip against the side of the counter.

“Never.” He chuckles softly. “You really okay? You want this?”

You lick your lower lip. “Am I ever okay?”

“That’s true.” He sighs heavily, raking his eyes down the column of your neck, over your nipples pressing through the dark blue fabric of your shirt, your stomach, the rise of your thighs, and then right back up to yours…

It’s like he’s a virgin all over again, you think to yourself. He needs a little help getting into it.

You reach for his hand. He lets you take it, guiding his fingers under the hem of your nightshirt. The tips of his fingers are still cold, chilly from his beer, and you shiver a little when he guides them against the inside of your thigh, creeping closer and closer to your core.

He inhales sharply through his nose when his fingers slip against the smooth, warm lips of your pussy. Your thighs part a little more, and you let out a little sigh when he takes the lead, nudging the tip of his index finger down into wet heat.

“Why are you not wearin’ any panties?” he asks.

You arch an eyebrow. “Why are you questioning it?”

He chuckles, bracing his free hand on the metal countertop next to your hip, and slips his fingers a little farther into your folds. You shimmy a little to encourage him, and he lowers his head, the tip of his nose pressing against your cheek to nudge your head back.

He kisses you hungrily, humming against your lips as you reciprocate eagerly. You can taste the beer on his lower lip, and he deepens the kiss, licking into your mouth as his fingers explore deeper between your legs. He finds your clit, targeting smooth, gentle rolls over it as your hand wanders over the front of his jeans.

“Fuck me,” you whisper, “please, Sam, I need you.”

He growls, stepping quickly between your thighs. “Not here.”

He scoops you up, striding towards the steps and feeling his way into the hall. You wrap your legs around his waist. The door to his bedroom is open, and you giggle when he kicks it shut, lips still glued to yours. He lowers you to the ground, waiting for you to stand still before running his hands under the fabric of your nightshirt.

“Get this off,” he murmurs, stripping it roughly over your head and tossing it to the floor. He palms your tits, thumbs rubbing over your nipples, and you arch into the sensation, pulling at the buttons of his flannel, popping each metal clasp until he can shrug it off. He cups your face with both hands, pushing his hips closer as you tug at his belt. His jeans fall to the ground with a dull thud, leaving him in just a pair of navy blue boxers.

He pulls back when you slide a hand into the waistband of his boxers, wrapping your fingers around the hard length of his dick. His pelvis jerks into your touch, and you grin up at him, stretching up onto your toes to claim his mouth in a deep, dirty kiss.

“Condom,” he whispers, “in the nightstand—”

“No,” you reply breathlessly, “I’m on the pill.”

Sam smirks, his hands sliding down to grope your ass. “That works, too.”

He kisses you hard, lifting you up just enough to dump you on the bed. He crawls over you eagerly, reaching down to stroke himself, and you whimper when the thick tip drags through your folds.

He sinks inside with a loud sigh, fisting his cock to push deeper as you squirm underneath him. Your knees fall open, giving him as much room as possible, and his hand falls beside your waist to brace when he gets himself deep enough to thrust comfortably.

Your nails dig into his hips on the first deep, desperate grind. He hisses at the sting and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips, panting hard as he thrusts into a rhythm that has the frame of his bed shuddering under the force.

He feels like heaven. Thick and hot and hard as his belly slides against yours, skin already dotted with sweat. His hand comes up to cup your face, fingers curling against your hair as his lips dot a line down your throat, over your chest, and then wrap around a swollen nipple. Your head falls back against a pillow, and you plant your toes firmly against the mattress for leverage. He grunts when you push up against him, allowing him to move even deeper inside until he bottoms out.

“Stay right there,” he mutters. He heaves himself up in one smooth motion, eyes locking on your face as he drops his entire weight into his thrusts. The loud slap of flesh on flesh echoes through the room, and you’re unable to stop your gasps and moans when you feel the ache of it. He grabs your wrists when you try and touch him, pinning them down on either side of your head, and you let out a long sigh of his name that earns a feral growl in reply. The roll of his hips changes when you squeeze around him, deep scoops that have your belly clenching.

“Oh my God, don’t stop,” you breathe, “make me cum, baby, please…”

“That’s the fuckin’ plan.” Sam dips his head to kiss you, and you wiggle playfully in his grip, the tease only making his fingers curl tighter. “You need to touch yourself?”

“No.” You catch a breath when he pauses, lips feather light against yours. “Just keep movin’ like that.”

He chuckles, shifting his weight for balance before resuming the same delicious, expert strokes. His eyes drift down your body until they land between your legs, and he groans at the sight of his cock plunging in and out of your cunt, shiny with your slick.

“Yeah, that’s it, honey,” he murmurs, “c’mon and cum for me.”

You push up against his thrusts, mouth falling open as the hot skin above his dick rubs against your clit. You’re almost there, you can feel it brimming in the pit of your belly, and when Sam’s thrusts turn into hard, bestial shoves, you spiral into bliss, convulsing between Sam’s body and the mattress as he fucks you through it. His grip on your wrists loosens, and you wrap your arms tight around his shoulders, dragging him down on top of you. He slows, then stops, lifting his head from the crook of your neck to press a lazy kiss to your cheek.

“Good?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you reply breathlessly, “you didn’t—”

He stops you with a kiss. “I will. C’mere.”

He rolls onto his back, keeping you close with an arm looped around your waist. You situate yourself on top of him, eyes falling closed as your head spins.

“Whoa, there,” he chuckles, “here, baby, put your hands right here.”

“I know how to ride a dick, dummy.” You arch your back, leaning forward far enough to brace your palms over his shoulders, tits just inches away from his kiss-swollen lips. He huffs, fingers splaying out on your hips as you begin to ride him, rolling your hips and bouncing down on his cock. He grunts, mouth opening in a soft O, and you moan when he gives an instinctive little push of his hips, meeting you halfway as you find your own rhythm.

“Fuck,” he moans, craning his neck to lap his tongue against one nipple. You pull back before he can get a real taste, scraping your nails over his chest as you work him harder, faster, until his soft pants and grunts turn into full-fledged moans.

He cums with a strangled groan, fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise. You keep moving, giggling when he arches and bucks underneath you, breathing high in his throat as he crosses the brink from pleasure to overstimulation. Unable to take any more, he pushes you off with a hoarse laugh, and you collapse beside him, giggling with your lower lip between your teeth.

“Fuck, I needed that,” you sigh, turning your head to gaze at him.

“Me too.” He stretches one arm under your head, allowing you to scoot close into his side and rest your cheek against his chest. His heart is a steady beat, thumping slower and slower as his body calms, and you tip your head back to kiss under his jaw. He smiles, allowing his eyes to flutter closed, and skims his thumb over your shoulder.

You lie together in silence for a long time, calming down with soft kisses and touches. You’re the one to break the silence, running a hand over a small scar on his opposite shoulder.

“I don’t know why we never did this before,” you comment.

“Me either.” Sam kisses you tenderly. “It was good.”

You sigh against his lips, gazing up into his eyes as an ache suddenly builds in your throat. “Cas died.”

He nods slowly, exhaling long and slow through his nose. “Yeah. You wanna talk?”

You shrug. “I guess.”

“Tell you what.” Sam props himself on one elbow, leaning down to nuzzle your shoulder. “How about we take a shower, put something on the TV, we can take our time.”

“Uh… yeah,” you sigh, trying to keep your voice steady. “You go ahead.”

Sam gives you a soft, sad smile. “Don’t take too long, ‘kay?”

“I won’t.” You let your head roll back onto a pillow and close your eyes. “I just… I need to cry for a few minutes and I wanna be alone.”

He clicks his tongue and grazes his fingers over your cheek. “All right. I’ll save some hot water for you.”

“Don’t steal it all.”

“I won’t.” He kisses your cheek. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You sigh deeply. “I know. Go on, I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” He slides out of bed, and you watch him tread slowly to the door and disappear into the hallway. Rolling onto your side, you bury your face against his pillow, sucking in a deep, shuddering breath and holding it.

Your strokes of luck lately have been too good to be true, and there’s a weight in your stomach that usually only means one thing. All the big, heavy-hitting players are gone. It’s just you, Sam, and Dean now, left alone to form your own little path in the world for the first time ever. It’s terrifying.

Shit’s going to hit the fan, and when it does, this time, it’ll be the worst thing to happen to you.

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

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Sam & Eileen - A Supernatural Romance.

I am quite clearly over the moon about 15x06 and Sam reunited with and bringing Eileen back from the dead. I was so over the moon in fact, that I burst into tears when Eileen stepped out of the bathtub and took Sam’s hand. That was… wow.

That was the most romantic moment in this show since 13x05 “it’s never too late” (also a return from the dead!)

So I was inspired to write an homage meta post celebrating Sam and Eileen’s romance looking back at everything canon has given us on this epic pairing.

It turns out, despite all my usual grumbling, there is still one het ship out there that I can totally get behind, and no one deserves love more than our dear Sam Winchester.

11x04 - Baby

This is where I believe the story started for Sam.

“You don’t ever want something more?”

(x)

“You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?”

This question, from Sam to his brother at the start of Season 11, has shaped so much of the subtext in the seasons following. It’s significance to the Winchesters individual development arcs, their hopes, their dreams. It blatantly spelled out for the audience what both these boys desire and what they deserve for each of their endgames.

Not a white picket fence, not the apple pie life, just something. Something that suits them. Something to share with someone else, romantically, who might fit that particular box. Let me be very clear here and stress that Sam certainly wasn’t talking about him and Dean finding that something with each other.

Dean’s journey towards finding that something has been building for even longer than this particular moment in canon, with the other stand out scene being his confession in 10x16 where he talked about having things, people, feelings, that I want to experience differently than before, or maybe even for the first time. Dean’s journey is something we have discussed at length, and as every meta writer in fandom knows all too well, it only leads in one particular direction - towards a certain dreamy blue eyed angel.

Sam’s journey has not been discussed as intensely as Dean’s, but 11x04 did lay groundwork for the writers to build upon. It hasn’t been as smooth or as obvious in the subtext as Dean’s either, with certain writing decisions appearing to come out of left field and confuse the path. But it seems that Dabb has course corrected and brought us back on track.

This episode was the first time in canon in a long time that we heard Sam textually voice his desire for a romantic relationship of some kind. I therefore immediately got excited and locked this moment away in a pocket in my heart to pull out again if ever the show would introduce a character who could fit those requirements for Sam.

The show did not disappoint.

11x11 Into the Mystic

GOD I forgot how full of delicious layers this episode was! It was written by the same writer who wrote 11x04. Robbie Thompson clearly had something in mind for Sam when he first wrote that script, and he gave it to us (and Sam) in this episode.

Eileen is introduced in 11x11 as another Hunter on a quest for vengeance - to avenge her murdered family.

It isn’t a surprise that we basically immediately shipped Eileen with Sam after this episode first aired, because her entire backstory is written to compliment Sam. Within the first 5 minutes of getting to know her, she already fulfills the requirements from Sam’s wistful speech in 11x04. She is a hunter, she is someone who understands the life. But more than that, she is all of the following:

She is on a revenge quest

She has murdered parents

She was raised by a Hunter or rather “trained” to be a Hunter rather than raised (in a scene which implies a similarly strict hunter upbringing to Sam and Dean)

She continued hunting alone after her guardian died

Her grandfather was a Man of Letters, making her a MOL Legacy, just like Sam.

Her mother was a lawyer, so she makes a joke about studying law which prompts further bonding with Sam due to his Stanford law education.

Eileen catches Sam’s eye almost immediately, and it is surprising I didn’t pick up on that on my first watch at the time, but Eileen is literally disguised as the cleaner in order to go unnoticed. Sam had no reason to be suspicious of her, and I think at the time we all assumed that he just wanted to question a potential witness - but even so, there was no need to interrupt Mildred to go speak to her. Could Sam’s distraction have been a bit more than strictly professional? In hindsight I’m gonna go with YES.

Their next meet is cute simply because by this point the audience is misled to think that she is actually the banshee. The ominous music tones, the shots of Eileen watching the Winchesters from a window. We believe that she is the villain, and then when she uses magic to pin Sam and comes at him with a dagger it’s practically a romantic trope used in enemies to lovers fics. A case of mistaken identity (another trope) and Sam and Eileen are able to reveal each of their truths. They bond immediately with both Sam and the audience learning all of the above. the checklist requirements indicating their compatibility is so blatantly obvious its almost too on the nose. But then het romance always seems that way doesn’t it?

The real kicker in this episode that made my heart sing at the time was this:

“Feel free to drop me a line if you ever need anything. Or even if you just wanna hang out”

“you can’t call me though, I mean you could call but I won’t answer.”

(x)

FIRST OF ALL - HOW DARE YOU KILL ME WITH FEELS SAMMY OVER THAT GORGEOUS SMILE

Sam’s line here though was SUCH A LINE. “Or even if you just wanna hang out”

I see you Sam Winchester. Hoping for Netflix and Chill right? I know you have Netflix. You gave Cas your password. :P

This little interaction at the end of this episode was pure flirtation and it was gorgeous to watch (and to rewatch, with hindsight, knowing what happens in 15x06 to totally deepen their relationship. Urgh. I guess I really am a sucker for a good old fashioned Supernatural Love Story!)

The other big takeaway from this episode is that meeting Eileen rejuvenated Sam. He starts the episode unable to sleep, haunted by his Lucifer trauma and feeling so down and broody that Dean steps in constantly to ask if he’s okay and try to engage in talking about feelings (always a bad sign for a Winchester to get to the point where they feel they need to ask the other to talk about feelings!)

But the end of the episode marks a significant change in Sam. He smiles, he opens up to Dean, he textually states that the case helped him. He opens up a keepsake box (that we never knew he had before this episode) and puts the retirement homes leaflet in there - an indication that he actually has hope that he might live to see a happy retirement (a wonderful sign for someone who just 40 minutes ago was acting like a total nihilist.)

The case alone wasn’t some spectacular revelation, so what else could have possibly caused Sam’s change of heart? The answer is obvious. Eileen did. She acted like a beacon of light this episode for Sam, and in a perfect bookend to how the episode opened, Sam curls up in bed, turns off his light, and is able to sleep. It is only Dean who spends the night restless and haunted.

This was the first time that Eileen acted as a “win” for Sam just by meeting him.

Unfortunately, we don’t meet Eileen again until a whole season later in

12x17 - The British Invasion

This episode is a far cry away from 11x11′s layered genius. Messy, overly plot heavy, too many various character stories causing mental whiplash, too much focus on unnecessary side characters, LUCIFER existing in general, an unnecessary sex scene between Mary and Ketch (eww), a bloody death scene, and moments of utter stupidity from the lead characters.

In other words it’s a CLASSIC BUCKLEMING.

Do yourselves a favour and if you ARE planning on re-watching this episode, just skip to the parts with Dean, Sam and Eileen (the Dagon and Kelly stuff is relatively good as well - the rest is utter garbage).

Anyway, pushing aside my hatred for the terrible duo for a moment, I will say that as per usual, what they lack in subtlety and intelligent subtextual layering, they make up for with a sledge hammer to the face in terms of trying to get a point across. So when it comes to Saileen in this episode, well, it might as well be canon already.

Practically every time Sam and Eileen interact in this episode, they are framed as a flirtatious couple in the early tentative stages. The smiles and playful flirting, the smirks when one does something to make the other proud. It is very clear, even if it is still technically subtextual, that both Jared and Shoshannah are playing this like these characters are attracted to one another, and are building on that relationship.

Hell, even Dean teases Sam twice about Eileen in this episode (though once was in a deleted scene that they should have kept instead of the Lucifer crap):

(x)

What we also find out from this opening scene, is that Sam and Eileen have been communicating off screen since 11x11. It is textually confirmed that the two of them have been developing their relationship previously, and we just haven’t seen it. Did Eileen visit the Bunker previously? Because she certainly seemed comfortable there this episode. Have her and Sam cuddled up to watch movies previously? (We know another pairing that textually do this even though we’ve never seen it on screen - Dean and Cas). Dean feels comfortable enough to tease his little brother in that playful typical sibling way, so clearly Eileen at this point has become a more frequent character in Sam’s life. It’s just a shame we as the audience have never seen anything of it until this episode.

This episode might be the first time we have seen her again since her introduction, but it certainly isn’t the first time Sam has seen her since. This is canon.

The rest of this episode continues this theme of displaying with zero subtlety that Sam and Eileen have something more than friendship. One of the easiest ways to truly see the effect of this is just watching Sam in scenes with her compared to Sam at any other time. Like in 11x11, Eileen manages to light Sam up and have him grinning like a puppydog. It’s kind of adorable and also quite shocking when you realise how rare it is to see Sam smile (or any of the characters in this angstfest of a TV show for that matter.)

Just look at the above cheesy smile in the car scene. Look at Sam’s bashful face here when Dean teases him in front of his girl:

(x)

Look at this smug face when Eileen snaps back at the irritating guy:

(x)

Jared hits every mark playing a loved up Sam Winchester.

By the end of this episode, a tragedy strikes and Eileen is scared off. Their relationship here ends on a comforting hug, because meaningful relationships in this show are almost always first signified with comforting hugs following traumatic events, and tentative hand holding.

The way he strokes her hair gently is just SO touching and intimate.

(x)

When all is said and done Eileen leaves, terrified of the British Men of Letters. When Dean asks Sam where she was, he tells him she went back to Ireland, and Sam looks so dejected at that thought. I don’t see how anyone can possibly read his reactions towards Eileen as anything other than romantic affection.

As a bonus point - I will mention that due to Bucklemings sledgehammer approach, it is quite clear that Eileen plays a Cas mirror in this episode. All of her scenes with Sam are paired off against Dean who spends this entire episode trying and failing to get hold of Castiel. In the Winchester’s final scene, Sam greets Dean in the morning and immediately asks his brother about Cas. Sam does this a lot in season 12, because Dean’s concern for Cas is present throughout every episode in which he is absent. Dean admits he is worried, but changes the subject, instead asking Sam about Eileen (note that it is the next morning so Dean assumed she had stayed the night).

Both brothers revert to the other when it comes to their respective partners. Sam leaves it up to Dean to contact and worry about Cas, and Dean does the same with Sam about Eileen. By this being a common pattern throughout pretty much all of Carver/Dabb eras, both brothers subtextually acknowledge that they each have a strong emotional connection with their respective potential romantic partners and therefore any contact or communication about each partner must come from the brother closest.

12x21 - There’s Something About Mary

Another Buckleming episode and the less said about this one the better. I won’t even mention the extremely insulting and inappropriate way to kill off a disabled character (almost as bad as killing off a lesbian by having nazis butcher her) I also won’t comment on the letter that Eileen sent Sam which whilst it did have romantic undertones, was clearly written by a 12 year old girl and did not marry with Eileen’s character at all (Eugenie showing her misogyny again).

The one good thing that came out of this episode (the only good thing) was Jared’s understated grief over Eileen’s death.

(x)

His performance dealing with her death in this episode was beautiful. It was understated, but clearly portrayed as heartbreaking. Unfortunately Sam had to push it down and bottle it up.

Eileen’s death was a huge shocker to us all as it didn’t make any sense at that point to cut short a story that seemed so clearly to be on a specific trajectory. We often talk about how Eileen’s romance with Sam at the time was tied to Dean and Cas, and that their relationship paralleled Dean and Cas’s in the narrative. This is all true, especially the death of Eileen coming as foreshadowing for the death of Castiel at series end. Just looking at that above gif of Sam where he looks at her corpse bears an extreme resemblance to Dean pulling back the sheet and looking down at a dead Castiel in 13x01.

However much I squee and love that these relationships are clear mirrors of each other though, I need to stress how Saileen, how Sam and Eileen’s canon relationship, is so much more than that. They may have mirrored Destiel, but they are also totally different, on a different course, and with a totally different backstory. Eileen doesn’t exist just to give Sam his own version of Cas to run off with. She is not there just to push up a separate ship. Sam and Eileen’s romance stands alone in this story. It may mirror DeanCas at times, but its purpose is not for DeanCas. It’s purpose is for Sam and Eileen.

Right from the start she ticked all of Sam’s boxes, and the clear attraction between them made it obvious. Yet Eileen was not written to just be a love interest either. She is an ally, a capable hunter, who is written deeply, with her own trauma’s and tragic past. Yet she keeps fighting, all whilst owning her disability and making it work for her rather than hold her back. She is hardly a Lisa, or an Amelia, both of whom had zero depth of character and were more or less written to look pretty and concerned as the Winchester boys basically treated them terribly. Eileen stands out as an individual character far beyond her relationship with Sam. She was full of potential which is why her quick death was an absolute travesty.

Eileen should not have been killed off. I believe even the writers are well aware of that, and this is why they brought her back.

Which brings me to:

15x06 - Golden Time

We knew long before this episode aired that Eileen would be back as Dabb revealed her return at SDCC. He made comments at the time ensuring that any characters he brought back would not be fanservice, that they would be characters chosen because the writers felt their stories ended too quickly, and that they had more stories to tell. Something I believe that DabbBerens are doing in particular in this season is righting the wrongs of the past. Eileen’s death was a clear “wrong” and I think its highly likely that DabbBerens’ were aware of this and saw Eileen as a no-brainer to bring back. As I said at the start of this post, Dabb is course correcting, getting his endgame plans back on track, and ensuring that he hits certain markers in order to do that.

Once again, we are at a place in the story where Sam is grieving, and suffering deeply from all of the loss and trauma that he has faced. Being God’s personal puppet, losing his mother, losing his son, and losing someone he was close to in Rowena by his own hand, has left him in a dark place. Sam’s arc in early season 15 plays out very similarly to Dean’s arc in early season 13. A Winchester in desperate need of a win.

Eileen was Sam’s win in this episode.

Given the time that has passed since Eileen’s last episode, and how the narrative has progressed since then, I was worried that Eileen’s return would seem like fan service, and would therefore fall flat (I felt this way with AU!Charlie and never warmed to the character because of it). I was also worried that whatever potential relationship might have been building between her and Sam in seasons 11 and 12 might not have shone through in this episode. But thankfully the writers played it pretty damn perfectly and Eileen’s return wasn’t just a small side plot to an otherwise jam packed episode (like Kevin’s return in 15x02). No, her story was the A plot as Sam devoted himself to finding a way to save her from a terrible fate.

My concerns about their potential romantic relationship not being played as it was in 12x17 were also completely unfounded. From the moment Sam saw Eileen’s ghost whilst on a jog the romance was immediately back and I have no doubt that Jared and Shoshannah are once again fully playing up the connection and romantic attraction between the two.

I am so convinced of the romance being put across here, and I want you to see why I adore this so much (in case you don’t already see it). So here are my biggest and most important takeaways from Eileen and Sam’s scenes in this episode and WHY I feel these stand out as significant elements towards proving the writers intentions for this to be an endgame canon relationship:

1. Aside from the obvious similarities between Sam and Eileen that were written into 11x11 in order to ensure that Eileen was able to stand as Sam’s equal, the one other thing that we have long discussed that Sam needs in a partner is someone who at least somewhat understands the trauma and pain that he has experienced in his life. Sam has predominantly bonded with people via shared trauma. Before her death, Eileen had had her fair share of traumatic experiences growing up in the tough hunter lifestyle, but spending an eternity being tortured in Hell is a different level of trauma entirely.

This episode cleverly once again elevated Eileen to the same level as Sam. They are equals now, both through good and bad experiences. Eileen was dragged to Hell, and only escaped when Chuck released the souls. Given that 1 year on Earth is 100 years in Hell, this means that Eileen was in Hell for 250 years give or take. Her trauma, her pain over this, is something that she can’t talk about just yet, but this significant connection between her and Sam was textualised clearly:

SAM: “I’ve been there too. Hell… long time ago. You try and forget but it gets inside you. Talking helps.”

EILEEN: “I can’t. not yet.”

SAM: “I understand”

And he really does. It is something that we can argue is a shared suffering that can create a (forgive me for this) profound bond between two people. The only other people who can understand just what he has been through were Dean (via years of Hell torture), Cas (via shared Lucifer possession), and Rowena (via shared Lucifer torture). Eileen now makes that very small list.

2. The other big factor that this episode made clear to point out textually was that this is not a Chuck manipulation. This really is Eileen, and her return from death is not part of Chuck’s story:

SAM: “Rowena got it, she didn’t know the details but she knew the game was rigged so this. Magic. This is how she kept control.”

The reason I do not believe that Eileen is part of Chuck’s manipulations is this very pointed line right here about Rowena. Along with many other things in this episode that indicate that it isn’t guided by Chuck, Sam specifically clarifies that Rowena used magic to maintain control over her own universe.

Whilst I fully believe that Rowena will be coming back as Queen of Hell (because whatever happens to Heaven and Hell at the end, they will need balance, and someone to play caretaker and Rowena has just been set up for this role far too perfectly for me not to at least consider the option), this episode so beautifully respects and honours her character, to the point that Rowena, even in her absence, is able to control and play architect to all that happens. Rowena effectively is given Chuck’s role over this particular narrative, but instead of being framed as something villainous, it is portrayed as a precious gift that she has given to her protege Sam.

Rowena rigged the system for herself, as Sam textually explains. Her use of magic, was her way of escaping Chuck’s control, and it is through Rowena that Sam is also given this power. The power to bring back someone he loves - who was most likely taken from him by Chuck’s own dark and poorly written story (yes I do believe that Meredith was throwing shade at Buckleming in the deep subtext - pretty much all the other writers do this all the time if you pay close enough attention :P)

Rowena’s journey from villain, to reluctant ally, to friend and then finally to family, is one of the most beautiful and epic journey’s on the show (rivalled only by Castiel in my opinion). She remains one of my all time favourite characters, and her tribute in this episode, that even after death she could bestow such a precious gift to Sam, is one that I think will remain one of the more touching stories this show has given us. This is yet another reason why I believe that Sam and Eileen are endgame. Because it is a gift from Rowena, and I believe it is a gift that will be honoured by the writers.

3. It’s a small moment, but it is IMPORTANT. Sam confirms that he was teaching himself ASL after he met Eileen. In a moment of adorable flirtation Eileen beams at him and a bashful Sam smiles and bounces on the spot like a giddy schoolboy. This is yet another reveal of moments in the lives of the Winchesters that we just don’t see in 40 minute episodes. That it is canon that Sam spent hours of his life teaching himself ASL so he could more effectively communicate with Eileen is so precious. There is no way to argue how much she meant to him.

But it isn’t just evidence of Sam’s affections, it proves to be a useful tool to the hunt in this episode as well. When Sam is unable to speak due to the witches curse, he is instead able to sign “My brother” to Eileen so that she knows to go and get Dean. It is Sam’s knowledge of sign language, which he learned due to his affection and interest in Eileen, that saves his life in this episode.

One point that I HAVE to mention here is how the writers gave so much thought to their depiction of Eileen as a deaf person, and how wonderful her return is as representation for deaf and hard of hearing people everywhere. In both this episode, and also in her first episode 11x11, her disability was not treated as a set back, but as a tool that enables her to get ahead. The only time the writing displayed an insulting and frankly ableist light was Bucklemings 12x21 which isn’t really surprising. We expect such things from Buckleming. The other writers have proven how much more compassionate and caring they are.

The idea that Sam Winchester could end up falling in love with a beautiful, deaf woman in Eileen is practically unheard of in TV media. When do the protagonists ever end up with anyone less than “TV perfect”? It is groundbreaking that Supernatural in it’s 15 seasons has grown so much and come so far. That it started with the fridging of two women, that it’s cast remained predominantly white men throughout its entire run, that it was blackened by excessive misogyny in its early days, as well as ableism via the treatment of Bobby Singer’s paralysis in season 5.

Supernatural has faced heavy criticism throughout it’s run, but it seems like the writers have listened and are learning. By allowing Sam and Eileen to have a happy endgame, they are doing a wonderful service in truly putting this show on the map for progression and representation - They just need to make sure that they follow through on that other big important thing too…

4. Rebirth and new beginnings. I am reminded of 13x05 and the brilliant Steppenwolf song “It’s Never Too Late To Start Again” as I rewatch the bathroom scene for the hundredth time. If the rest of the episode hasn’t already had you crying out how desperately these two should be together I fully believe it was Meredith’s plan (along with the entire production crew and Shoshannah and Jared), to have us all bawling our eyes out in happy tears that Sam and Eileen get to be together now!! (well, I certainly cried. A lot. and ruined my mascara. and squeaked at such a high pitch only dogs could hear me. The only other time I have had that reaction was in 13x05… oh, and 12x19. It’s RARE okay!)

I think the most significant point here is the touching of hands, which calls back to an earlier painful moment in the episode when ghost Eileen reached out to try to comfort Sam as he despaired about being a cosmic joke, and found she wasn’t even able to touch him.

It is a romantic trope that was most famously used in the film Ghost, where touch was a big part of the on screen relationship. Supernatural displays this same trope rather perfectly here when the big win of the episode takes place, and Eileen emerges from the bathtub alive and whole, and tentatively reaches out to take Sam’s hand again with vastly different results.

(x)

Sam is so hesitant to touch her back, so fearful that this isn’t real, that he isn’t being allowed this. The overwhelming sense of relief and warmth that radiates from him when he finally does take her hand was exactly what made me burst into tears. The moment is so extremely breathtaking, so intimate and touching that your heart just aches for them to have that happy ending. It’s rare that Supernatural gives us moments like this, but when it does give them, when it allows its characters a win, they are immediately memorable and stand out as bright spots in an otherwise dark show. It’s moments like this that make watching these characters suffer so much worth it in the end.

The hug that comes after the touching of hands is just as intimate. This is portrayed as a lifeline. Something for Sam to grasp onto and breath. Something that inspires him to change his outlook, to gather his determination, and to convince his brother to join him and fight for the happy ending that both of these boys so desperately deserve.

(x)

The entire bathroom scene was a testament to how well Supernatural can work romance into its narrative. How these talented creators can easily provide us with a romantic scene to tug on our heart strings. Anyone screaming that romance doesn’t belong in this show I will now point at this scene and tell them exactly how wrong they are. This scene is EXACTLY what this show needed.

For anyone denying the romance here (yeah funny how the bronly’s are so anti Saileen - I wonder why...) I’ll spell it out for them:

This is how you set up a romantic scene in TV Production:

1. Candlelight. Check.

2. Soft focus (dates back to the 1930s when films would use soft focus to portray the dreamy emotional uplift of happy couples in love - see Meet Me In Saint Louis for a very clear example). It is almost always considered a filming technique to portray romance. Check.

3. Chivalry. As if any of us didn’t expect Sam to be a perfect gentleman! But the fact is that the way he turns his back and waits with bated breath to see if the spell had worked is shown as anything other than platonic. He is almost shy, knowing that if and when she emerges from the water she will be naked, but he turns to preserve her dignity. Check.

4. Leading on from that, this is literally a naked woman emerging from a bathtub whilst Sam awkwardly stands in the room. It could have been highly sexualised. They could have used that god awful 70s porno music they like so much in this show. Sam could have made a joke to dispel the tension. If this was a platonic friendship, any of these things would have given it away. The fact that none of this happened, that the scene remained tense and intimate but not overly sexualised only further validates the romantic reading. I mean LOOK AT THIS:

CHECK

5. The music. Music is such an important part in any story. It always plays a vital role in signifying the correct atmosphere, and the correct tone of a scene. We talk about music a lot in relation to Dean and Cas and the sweeping melodic notes that usually compliment any heightened emotional DeanCas scene. The music during THIS scene though? Well it was beautifully romantic in every way. If in doubt, just go back and listen to it with your eyes closed. Play this music track over another random scene of two people sharing a moment, and it will make the scene read as romantic. I guarantee it.

CHECK AND MATE.

Overall, this episode was the most romantic and most intimate Sam and Eileen have ever got yet in canon. It is a clear indication that their relationship is heading in a positive direction. I couldn’t be happier with how the writers are portraying this and am jumping for joy at the thought that Sam might actually get what he desired all those years ago during 11x04 when he tried to bring up the topic to Dean in the Impala.

We know from promo photos, that Eileen is still staying with Sam in 15x07. That she comforts him. With images like this to go on:

I’d say with some confidence that we will get to further watch their relationship grow, and I couldn’t be more excited for it.

I fully expect there to be darker moments coming up, and potentially Eileen will be sent away for a period of time (my money is on Chuck “dusting” her the way he did with Becky in 15x04 because I don’t believe that kills people and I do believe that they can be brought back from wherever he sends them too - plus “dusting” makes me think of Avengers Endgame which I find amusing because the “dusted” all returned at the end. I wouldn’t be surprised if Supernatural played around with that as it so often likes to play with pop culture references). I think that post Mid Season Finale we will be back to a period of utter loss and despair for the Winchester boys, and that therefore those who they feel strongly for (aka Cas and Eileen) will have to be separated from them.

However, the point is that it is always darkest before the dawn. In this story, 15x06 has laid the groundwork for Eileen to be Sam’s romantic endgame. It’s now up to Sam, and Eileen, to make sure they fight to get what they both so desire.

Bring on the finale show.

(If you liked this meta run through of Sam and Eileen’s building relationship, please leave a comment for me. It took forever to complete! Also, please click the links under the gifs and go give the gifmakers some love! The gifsets I have used are all wonderful and deserve your reblogs. (Gifs that don’t have links are my own)).

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Text

We’re gonna try this again. “Canon” is accepted additions and editions within a body of work (literary canon, western canon, british canon, romantic canon, eg, books in review for genre study; alternately, supernatural canon like episodes are canon, novels and fanfic aren’t.) Yeah? Yeah.

Text is a lot of things. Some people pretend it’s just spoken dialogue or kissing (not sure why the last counts when other visual language doesn’t, according to fandom) -- and frankly I’m working on that Media Studies A Level course to show how to read media text to understand visual language. Text will always be interpretable.

Subtext is the underlying principle or morals binding the text and adding cohesion based on a series of social codes we understand. And no, for the love of god, I’m not talking about queer coding. Or at least not entirely. I’m talking about cultural and social codes. Did you know it’s actually a social code that letters have meanings and sounds, and that those meanings and sounds build into words? And atop that, a social code that words have meanings, and a social code that when these meanings are combined into sentences or paragraphs, they have collective meanings?�� Or that in a serialized production (and recognizing what that means is a code) that episodes are connected in a continuous story that makes previous episodes relevant to understand the next?

Yeah, it’s cool stuff, codes. It’s how our universe operates. That’s why it’s called, for example, codes of conduct. Codes! And codes are not irrelevant to a work, or irrelevant in the discussion of canon, unless you also want to pretend you can stare at a book and ignore what letters mean and the meanings they make and then tell people what you think the book says.

Operative codes are how anything, anywhere -- text, TV, life, society, language -- literally anything works. So I’m getting that out of the way before someone decides to try to announce that codes are just subtext and are thus not relevant to talking about canon because like, no, the opposite. Canon can not exist without codes.

Subtext is not the same as interpretation. Subtext is also, very honestly, not all equally valid, in this “all interpretations are equal.” You can and will fail a paper report if you come up with dumbass subtext proposal that doesn’t hold water. Subtext is also not an inferior part of the body of text or canon, but instead, a binding element that makes any form of storytelling work. It’s not a secret handshake. It’s not whatever you want to make it, but rather, whatever stands in the body of text to address how that text functions within its designated codes. It’s not something you really have to chase.

Despite the general absurdity of pretending only spoken dialogue is text in AV Medium or SPN fandom discussion, I’m going to play within this fandom’s sandbox on that weird talking point within this post, and show that even still, the fandom’s use of text and subtext to dismiss or argue content falls flat.

Let’s talk about Colette subtext. After all, Cas was Colette, right? The problem being with this subtext is, while actually valid and able to structurally hold water, it was immersed. This is, at best, the earliest manifestations of something called Subtext By Question. Alone, this subtext does not mean much, and is distant to the eye of a reader. You have to think about it, and the text has to later turn up something that connects these elements. For example, in this instance, the resulting text manifests in following episodes with who Dean almost kills (although that, itself, is a code of understanding, in that the expectation is to subvert the dark destiny projected for him, so he didn’t ACTUALLY have to kill everyone.) If you look backwards for answers, in Subtext By Question, you can find the reverse-people that were killed and allot them relevance in association. But at this point, you’re really having to scrap around, a season back or a season forward, to find a few key elements. The subtext here is valid, but barely able to be argued as structural. It isn’t central, it isn’t focus. It’s passive. The active element here is Dean needing to subvert this dark destiny in mirror of Cain for important people in his life. The less important element is honestly if you’re going to argue circles about what the Colette placement means (and, if not everybody is following social codes, you’ll never reach an understanding!)

(I’ll also add a brief aside that the subtext here tells a lot of things! It’s subtext is first that Cain did the same things he’s listing to Dean, and that subtext straps back to previous text. One can call the who-is-who ‘subtext’, if one doesn’t apply social codes to what the text is saying: Three people dead, now do it backwards. If you don’t know how to count to three or count to three backwards, then yes, we can call the who’s-who subtext. Unfortunately, ARRIVING to this line of text in retrospect requires chasing a long subtextual line a season back.)

On the other hand, Dean lies. A lot. It’s like, what he do. When Dean says, “I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples,” if one were to demand the text stand alone, one might actually try to argue that Dean honestly believed it was because of his perky nipples. The subtext, on the other hand, is a form of Privileged Subtext. It’s something we, the consumers, inherently understand that no, Dean does not genuinely believe it is because of his perky nipples. But if we’re only holding flat text as canon, and most explicitly only dialogue as text, then clearly the only authentic way to read this without subtext, which this fandom dismisses as canon, is that Dean thought it was because of his perky nipples, and by this fandom’s standard of how to read and receive bodies of text, that was the canon to draw from the scenario. It’s independent. It doesn’t even need to tie anything. Because this is an element that subconsciously remains in the character, perpetually, that we are privileged to knowing. But applying the logic to this is itself a social code (unless you really want to think -- you know what -- okay.)

Now let’s talk about how text is reliant on its canonicity with genuine subtext (not random interpretation), how they connect, and then one becomes the other.

In 11.4, Sam and Dean ride in a car and Sam textually presents, in full dialogue since people don’t seem to grok visual language as part of textual canon (and why I’ll be releasing the course soon, but this should help frame the TEXTUAL end of things for people) -- the idea of a hunter, or someone in the life. This is full dialogue text. Dean dismantles it due to their history, while Castiel calls in, about a case in their area and life at the moment. The text is that Sam is thinking about this and that Dean doesn’t think it’s possible. The text is also that they do have a very closely tied person in their life. The subtext doesn’t even really need to be phrased, simply a notice, within basic social codes and understanding, that these things connect to each other.

In 11.19 The Hunter Husbands arise, and Dean takes his turn asking about finding someone in the life. Here’s the fun thing. The hunter’s text is, and I quote, “Like an old married couple.” There is no physical affirmation, no “I love you” or, more in this fandom’s situation “I love you like specifically in the romantic and gay way” that everyone seems to want. The text “Like an old married couple” is actually interpretable, as any and all text is. On the blatant reading, it’s that they’re romantically involved. On the surface level, they’re only ~like~ an old married couple, which anyone and anyone could assume was a turn of phrase or generalized comparison (and have used this argument on other statements for other pairings in the show; hell, after all to stay in-subject with this post, what if Castiel was just LIKE a wife to Dean with his Colette placement, because gUyS cAn hAvE StRoNG fRiEndShiPs tOo)

So what makes it obvious? What makes it DUHHH? It’s the subtext. And social codes. Why these same social codes fly out the window when the fandom is talking about Destiel is a whole other damn mystery, but they do. The actual willingness and ability to nail down and commit to “like an old married couple” without spinning around in circles about how people might interpret that line, or even willingness TO spin in those circles, is based on the surrounding subtext -- partially drawn from 11.4, partially drawn from Sam meeting Eileen recently and partially from Dean and Cas -- partially from the way they actually physically engage LIKE one of these pairings -- just from a whole plethora of elements that we understand, based on a basic code of understanding: The text is the text and the “Like” isn’t a turn of phrase or relevant even if someone wanted to be a crackpot and argue it. And what other subtext does that make? They Gay. Or you can take social codes of understanding, and stop calling it subtext, and recognize that if two men are married they are queer, instead of abandoning this social code of understanding to explain around it. Without compulsion to argue with antis that don’t exist for that pairing, tada! Everybody’s acting just fine and normal within basic human social codes to understand the text as framed by the substantiative subtext.

Season 15 these elements return, with Dean remarking about Eileen being someone in the life. This is flat, dialogue, central text. The social code in play, being aware that serialized TV connects a story, reminds us that this has been discussed before, in fact with the same elements surrounding them as during 11.4 and 11.19. Eileen has become the person to fill Sam’s previous wondering. Dean’s wondering of the past and current “in a bad place” becomes Subtext By Question, flowing from the previous and current textual elements, to leave a blank space.

However, that blank space is filled one episode later -- as, in the alternate universe, after the Marriage By Mark, and Cas went Crazy, in full dialogue text, that he had a death wish ever since -- first, that they lost everyone they care about, and then he buried Cas at sea; and, in the same breath, Eileen was the same to Sam. Now, hopefully I don’t have to explain how, if you continue to endorse level and equal social codes (without applying the Super Hard Nightmare Difficulty Goalposts, and changing your codes in application even within a single scene), this pans out in the text. The ironic subtext here is that Eileen is Sam’s Cas. Not the other way around even. It’s the secondary presented element over the primary focus. That’s how it be. But the text is, at this point, that they are literally the partner of each person in regards to an ongoing textual and subtextual story since season 11.

In result, season 10′s Colette drop kind of feels like swished-out toothpaste, doesn’t it (even if it was written by the same author.) Actually funny enough, to get back down to subtext as deep as Colette was originally buried, one could actually reasonably and structurally argue that, both scenarios being bound by the Mark actually elevates Colette to the front again, as in, Dean’s Colette took the Mark for him, just as he almost killed his Colette and his Abel when he had the Mark, and Dean’s Colette’s price was the same. That is to say: this old, buried subtext still remains an old, buried subtext, but attaches to the surface level text that is itself... text. That subtext is relevant again, it didn’t just drop off after a few dart notes on a board. But again this also relies on basic social codes regarding serialized television.

But that’s a whole other aside. The reality here is that these elements are all text. The previous subtext of Castiel being on the phone in 11.4 has become fully dialogue *and* visual narrative text by this point in the story. It isn’t a sidelined or buried element. It’s both central text, what few parts might be called subtext based on AV text confusion are still central text, they are literally the focal point of the story -- the meaning and importance of those characters is there in the present, at the core of the lens, not something you’re burying through rubble and playing connect-the-dots on. Any callbacks are to solid, loud, front line elements of the past that are being repeatedly hammered in at the same textual wavelength. It’s just there.

Heck if you REALLY want to long haul the subtext we can do a full break-out on Sam’s face of it, with Rowena more than once mirroring Cain dialogue to Sam as his mentor, who he killed, as Cain wanted to kill Abaddon, his mistress. And that if Eileen is tangibly Sam’s Cas, then in frame she is his Colette, as Cas is Dean’s Colette. These are the other forms of subtext you’re given to debate in a paper, for example, even if they are not the immediate binding subtext and social codes attaching sentences to each other to form complex ideas in the body of text.

Another fun one I’ve seen is the implication that it’s unfair that Sam and Eileen are banging after a few episodes. But guys-- that’s not in the text. In fact, the only text we have is smarmy tongue in cheek from Dean about a tie (that would be coded text based on social functions) that Sam denied (making the subtext that Dean was wrong about his assumption, and the dialogue is unreliable.) Yes, they have a kiss, that’s fine. But that statement? That they’re banging? That is at best an interpretation, and people would actually struggle to find any substantiative subtext that illustrates this even within operative and level social codes sustained from the previous episodical run. You can��t just flip flop your codes around and say you’re reading it right. That’s how you fail a paper.

So what does this say, then, about people that are objectively refusing the other surrounding text and subtextual elements as textually romantic within the canon? If you can jump there with one, without a basis, why are we bashing down the other one? Ah-hah! You say, but they kissed! Actually, people were submitting this complaint before that, around the time of Interrupting Angel which mirrored Interrupting Moose -- what a wild subtextual connection of old textual elements! (And one the author popped up out of the blue to like my screaming tweet about on twitter, I loves him.)

But back to the question, where does this take us? If people can manufacture interpretations without even subtext much less text to verify and even complain about the sexual engagements of characters on one side, and when quite literally textually speaking, aside from a kiss -- a performative element, which I remind you, is unspoken, and we’ve been banished by Weird Fandom Laws from using anything other than dialogue as “text” despite AV media study codes -- Why are we here, what’s wrong, why the fuck are people arguing about the text still, or calling it subtext, please, fucking enlighten me on any answer that doesn’t involve “Unlevelly applied social codes.”

Because if we want to incorporate that kiss, a non-dialogue element, as text, we’re about to dive helluva far into what constitutes text in AV medium. And this is going to make the opposing argument even worse.

But that, my friends, waits for the full AV lesson when I get to it.

And just because I have to apparently put this disclaimer on every post I make: this in no way indicates you are wrong for wanting more text, or preferred deliveries of text, or even specific non-dialogue enacted events to feel complete on the delivery of the text. It’s silly to think “you’re telling people not to want more text!” when like, we’re still all watching the show and stories unfold, right? So we’re all here waiting for more text. Whether the text you get is the text you want is completely up to you and what you hope to see out of a still developing story and it’s your right to want whatever you want. But that in no way removes all of the above objective sentiments regarding... well, text.

#supernatural #spn #text #subtext #canon #destiel #saileen #meta #my meta #lit crit #av crit #av study

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vvivacious101 · 5 years

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Regarding Dean and Cas, Part 2

So recapping Season 4 in brief, Cas and Dean are initially antagonistic. Then they become almost friends who are occasionally on different sides of the debate leading to Cas being re-educated because of the emotions he had started to develop followed by Dean once and for all bringing Cas over onto his side leading to Cas sacrificing himself for Dean’s cause. Wow, when I put it like that how is it that Dean is able to sway Cas so much that Cas dies for his cause and indirectly dies for him, to give Dean the time to avert an apocalypse.

So the first scene worth mentioning in 5x01, Sympathy for the Devil, is the scene where Dean learns about Cas’ death. Initially, I had always interpreted the scene as a little too casual for the relationship these two characters had developed, I felt like Dean needed to do something more but re-watching the scene makes me realise that what Dean implies by the dialogues in that scene is that he would rather Cas be alive than be dead for helping him. Which put another way is basically that he would prefer Cas being alive to averting the apocalypse, which is the cause for which Cas sacrificed himself. But since Dean was unsuccessful in actually averting the apocalypse I guess what the line actually means is that he doesn’t think Cas should have sacrificed himself for what turned out to be a failed endeavour. Either way, this has implications because interpreted one way this could mean that at this very moment Dean regrets having Cas betray Heaven for him. He regrets that Cas ended up being collateral damage. Anyway, I said this was one interpretation but I really don’t see another.

Well, thankfully nobody needs to grieve for long because Cas comes to Dean and Sam’s rescue but is back to being cryptic and his behaviour in this episode is very similar to his behaviour in 4x03 which was when Dean asked him the following question:

What are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?!

The next scene Cas and Dean share is in the very next episode when Cas comes to borrow Dean’s amulet, the Samulet. The thing about these scenes in 5x01 and 5x02 is that there are other characters present in the scene in the first scene we have Zachariah (in the beginning) and Sam and in the second we have Sam and Bobby, and Cas converses with all characters in both scenes but his conversations with Dean in both episodes are the significant ones and also the longest ones. In the first episode, Dean and Sam are framed on one side with Cas opposite them. In all frames with Dean and Sam, Dean is the focus this changes for like a second when it comes to Sam’s line (yeah only one) and the camera is back to focusing on Dean. In the second episode, Dean and Cas are shot similar to how they are shot in 4x07 remember that conversation in which Dean and Cas forget that Uriel and Sam are in the same room. This conversation is similar we have Cas come in, talk to Bobby, then the conversation shifts to Dean and Cas with Sam’s only contribution being “Why’s that?” This conversation is literally epic Cas is so dominant in this one harkening back to his tone in 4x02 when he threatens Dean also the entire conversation is taking place in the presence of Bobby and Sam but Cas and Dean hardly seem to realise this, till the conversation again has to shift so that Bobby and Sam can join in temporarily with Cas’ purpose for visiting again being connected to Dean this time specifically the Samulet. There is another interesting part about this latter scene with Dean because Cas and Dean are back to communicating with their eyes something we last saw in Lucifer Rising, 4x22, when Cas rebels. Also, that entire conversation with Cas asking for the amulet is solid gold.

Dean: What, this?

Cas: May I borrow it?

Dean: No.

Cas: Dean. Give it to me.

Cas and Dean do their thing which is just another way of saying they look into each other’s eyes/ hold each other’s gaze.

Dean: Alright. I guess... Don’t. lose. it. Oh great, now I feel naked.

Cas: I’ll be in touch.

Of course, as I transcribe this conversation I realise I can’t quite put into words how many cues Cas and Dean seem to pick up by looking into each others’ eyes. They seem to be able to answer just about anything with their eyes.

Well, so far I feel like Supernatural hadn’t really committed itself to Destiel. If they really wanted they could have just continued with having Dean and Cas as they had in season 4 in an endless cycle of two steps forward two steps back. A lot of what Cas and Dean share in these first two episodes is recycled stuff from season 4 but then comes 5x03 which like it’s predecessor 4x03 is a turning point like no other.

Free to be you and me. Well, it says so in the title. This episode is amazing on multiple counts. Number one it is just a good episode, it’s really amazing. Secondly, in all 14 seasons of Supernatural, I have never seen Dean as happy as he is in this one and surprisingly this unabashed happiness comes at a time when there is an impending apocalypse and Dean is on the outs with Sam. This should have been the perfect excuse to take away every shred of Dean’s happiness but instead, it becomes the precursor. Actually, now that I think about it I have seen Dean this happy once more that was in 13x06, Tombstone and we know what was the source of his happiness in that one.

Have you ever heard anyone ever talk about Sam in Free to be You and Me because he is there. I have watched this episode twice and I was under the impression that Sam is just not there in the episode which my brain told me was impossible because Jared Padalecki is in every episode of Supernatural and I know this. Even in “In the Beginning” where Sam only appears for like the beginning minute of the episode, he is there and I thought Free to be You and Me was similar but it is not. Sam is really there in the episode and for the life of me I can guarantee no one has ever talked about Sam’s storyline in 5x03 because Dean and Cas so thoroughly drown anything else that isn’t them in this episode.

Let’s talk about personal space!

A lot of people have mentioned that we never actually see Dean have this supposed conversation about personal space with Cas and here in comes in the famed fandom gap. But, another thing I noticed is that Cas has never actually stepped into Dean’s personal space prior to this episode which then raises the question that how has he done it so many times that Dean raised the issue and actually had a converstaion about it. This isn’t A fandom gap this multipe fandom GAPS. Also, i love how Dean talks about Cas repsecting Dean’s perosnal space but he has no problem invading Cas’.

This episode is funny which made me so happy what with the FBI badge thing, then Cas being horribly truthful to the Deputy and the whole Chastity thing. Also, Dean laughing so freely, free to be you and me indeed.

Recently, I saw this post that talks about how turned on Dean looks when Cas is threatening Raphael in the hospital and I totally agree with it it. Totally check that out.

This is just an amazing amazing episode and they are so many of these in season 5. I can’t wait to set my eyes on them.

Another thing we have got to mention before I move onto “The End” is the fact that Dean compares Cas and himself to Thelma & Louise and Bert & Ernie in the same episode.

I agree with everything that lurea has to say about “The End” like everything you can find links to the meta here. But, let’s just focus to the two scenes Dean and Cas share in reality in this episode both which are like absolutely adorable. The first one is at the beginning of the episode and ends with Cas just standing under a lamp post waiting for Dean to get his rest before they can get doing what they have to next and this is just adorable Cas.

Okay, really if you watch this episode assuming Dean and Cas are lovers in the future it has an extremely different tone, like when Endverse!Dean gets jealous because Endverse!Cas likes past Dean more.

Okay but focusing on our Dean. Let’s not forget that when Endverse!Dean talks about using his people as decoys, the past Dean specifically asks one question, “Cas too?” because while we can argue the implications for Endverse!Dean the implications for our Dean are pretty straightforward he might consider sacrificing most of his people for teh cause but he draws the line at Cas. Cas is something special to Dean and he can’t believe that this Dean, future/Endverse version of himself is going to sacrifice Cas and even though this isn’t his Cas he still feels this way.

Then moving on to one of the other most iconic scenes between Dean and Cas.

This entire scene their expressions, their body languages, their dialogues are so intensely romantic. Like Dean’s wish for Cas to never change is also kind of steeped in romance, this is the Cas he loves and that’s why he never wants him to change. Of course considering the episode there are other implications this line of dialogue has but that still doesn’t chnage the way it’s delivered.

Dean and Cas in season 5 are just so intimate, at this point they are literally at their best. This is the point in the season when they seem to be reading each other’s minds.

So, of course for here on out we have them at loggerheads, almost. So, the next time Dean and Cas meet is in 5x06 and in the scenes they share Sam is basically chaperoning them and the first scene in this episode is Sam and Cas at loggerheads which is a nice contrast to the way he Cas just listens to Dean. Also, in one of the most telling parallels I love how carefully Dean puts back Cas’ statue as compared to Sam who kind of just puts it down rather carelessly compared to the care Dean shows.

Cas and Dean don’t interact at all in the next episode they both star in but I love the fact that in both 5x06 and 5x08, Dean is hell bent on making sure Cas gets rescued.

The beginning of this season is like Destiel heaven and then following “The End” with it’s implied subtext the scenes with Dean and Cas interacting is like at a steep decline. See, this is what I meant million steps forward and bilion backwards. But Dean calls Cas Huggy Bear in the very beginning of 5x10 that’s something.

Season 5 has been going pretty rapidly. 5x13 starts of with Cas trying to find Anna who is on a revenge tour and Dean kind of forces Cas to take both him and Sam to the past despite the fact that it would cost Cas a lot and a hate that about Dean. For once, I want him to put Cas’ needs firsts. I hate Dean’s selfishness. This is something of a sticky point which doesn’t come up much this season but just wait till Season 6 where the first two-thirds of the season is just Dean being obnoxiously selfish to Cas.

Next up is, 5x14 My Bloody Valentine, okay I like this episode. That phone call which starts this episode.

Yeah, well look at it but things get even more interesting when cupid shows up and hugs Dean from the back and Cas from the front literally drawing a line going through Dean to Cas and then we literally have Cupid facing Dean and Cas who are literally framed as a couple who are basically tag-teaming as they interrogate Cupid. That was one of the most effortlessly couple-y DeanCas moment.

This episode has Dean and Cas together for most of it’s duration which is always amazing. I definitely want to read more meta about this one because I can tell this is one episode that really has a whole lot of meaning that could be found by peeling back the layers.

Dean and Cas do have scenes in both 5x16 and 5x17 but they are more plot based and whenever they are not they are fairly antagonistic, I feel like the writers definitely were trying to detract but they are so bad at it. 5x17 we have drunk Cas who literally drank an entire liquor store and there are a lot of cutting remarks but at the end of the day when Cas has his head in his hands, Dean tries to make him feel better and that’s just it these two no matter how much you put them on opposing sides they find a way.

Next up is a legendary Destiel episode, 5x18, Point of No Return. I often say it is the point of no return when it comes to Dean and Cas’ relationship as well. It has this famous line -

Also, if you ever see all the scenes featuring Dean and Cas together in this episode one after the other, you will be shocked to believe you ever thought these two were platonic.

I mean these two are full on bickering in this episode, like a married couple. They are literally fighting, arguing but the moment Cas thinks something might be wrong with Dean he goes flying in, only to have Dean blast him away. The very next scene is like Exhibit A for this relatiosnhip the entire pummeling that Dean gets is yeah horrible, but it’s also an example of just how much Dean and his actions affect Cas and literally every dialogue Cas has during this sequence is powerful. We are finally bringing into focus the fact that Cas is in this situation because he chose to believe Dean and follow him on a path that was made of uncertainty away from the security Cas has known since his creation. Sometimes, I think we forget how big that step was for Cas and just what it might mean for him but this scene just brings it all back. It is the most visceral exhibit of everything he’s feeling, everything that Dean plunged him into feeling.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural seaosn 4 #cas #dean #destiel #myposts #supernatural season 5

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webcricket · 6 years

Text

Looking Glass

Chapter 15 - Rifts

Pairing: CastielXAU!Reader

Word Count: 1190

Summary: Post-apologetic fallout from the ill-fated trip to Amarillo as the team prepares to open the rift to apocalypse world. Next chapter is from Castiel’s POV of the aftermath.

Miss a chapter? Have a Masterlist Link!

You stare at the ceiling, focus fixed on a speck of dust engaged in a wildly agitated dance upon the verge of the air conditioning vent spewing frigid air. An unruly wisp of hair taps the skin of your forehead in the blast. You swipe at the tendril with unfeeling nubs of fingers, not bothering to stick them back beneath the blanket.

Numb.

That’s the proper word to describe the state of your senses – your base experience of living, no, subsisting – since returning from Amarillo.

With every day, missed touch, minute, evaded look, blink, heartbeat, moment since, the coldness descends ever deeper to freeze the fluttering fringes of your heart; the coldest fount of all being the apparent indifference of an angel who once cared. Seemed to care.

A lifetime ago, a matter of weeks stretching into an age, you knew without doubt from direct experience angels didn’t care – couldn’t care – about humans. Angels existed for cruelty, wrathful beings created to annihilate and not nurture emotion. Then you woke up to a second chance and a second Cas.

Number.

If the bunker’s confines loomed bleak in the landscape of your perception before, during all those convalescent weeks tormented by paralytic headaches in the sunlight impenetrable fortress protecting you as a caged guest of honor, hollow halls echoing your endless pacing footsteps and the comings and goings of two brothers and an angel determined to save their family from entrapment in an alternate universe and humanity as a whole from an impending archangel invasion, the same thick concrete walls offer very little functional shielding from within against the fallout frustration of that trust betrayed angel whose gentle blue gaze once held a solace of warmth for you in the ruins of your mind but now sheens icy and avoids your searching one – searching the cold light with fading hope for signs of thaw, for a kindled fire of forgiveness to comfort the chill sinking into your bones, for shelter from the solitude shrouding your soul and a reprieve from the separateness, the deep disconnect from anything and anyone, you feel in this place.

Pink blossoms, picket fences, angels, apologies. Lashes shutting to stem a rise of tears, your thoughts wend back along the cold drafts to the night of your return.

To say Dean was miffed when you revealed your complacence in the grand witch-instigated homecoming detour of Amarillo – presenting your sullen figure with unfeigned gloom, round shouldered, dewy eyes swollen, remorseful in mumbling contrition, to the nonplussed yet nonetheless grin-gilded hunter swigging a victory beer in the kitchen – nonplussed, that is, by your and the angel’s early arrival back when he’d clearly intimated you and Cas should spend a few days getting to know each other in uninterrupted non-Winchester adjacent carnal glory – would be an understatement.

Cas tarried – brooding with his hands hidden in his pockets to mask the involuntary shaking in denying their wanting to reach for you to soothe the effects of his callousness – beyond the threshold stairs to observe his friend’s reaction and garnered no sense of satisfaction whatsoever from the scene. Rather, he experienced a sharp stab and pang of self-loathing in his own heart for forcing you to declare culpability for the fiasco rather than stand by your side to defend you from the consequences of Dean’s often stormy ire and bear the burden himself; if he weren’t so enamored of you, so distracted, so careful not to cause you more distress by picking through your thoughts and emotions, he might have seen this coming, or at least sensed it.

Cas told you it had to be this way; he said nothing else in the rain-pelted 8-hour journey back to the bunker, and if this is what he wanted, you were damn well going to give it to him after breeching his trust, if only in hopes of recovering it. So, lips trembling, tears streaming reddened cheeks, you never once looked to Cas or prayed to him; although, knowing he was right there watching, every cell of your body screamed for him to swoop in and save you.

By the time you began to pour out a post-confession apology in affront to Dean’s furious discourse concerning the stakes you selfishly ignored in your pursuit of a home that wasn’t your home because– “You forget you don’t belong here, sweetheart? You put our one shot at grabbing Gabriel in jeopardy, and for what? For nothing. Whatever family you have, they’re over there!” –the angel had skulked away down the hall shadowed by a cloud of guilt believing he’d irrevocably destroyed whatever foundations of affection existed between you and he.

The failure – his failure of you, not some overtly cruel alternate version’s failure – came to him as no surprise; accepting self-defeat in sullen silence, he acquiesced then to a path of avoiding any unnecessary interaction with you to minimize further damage as you’d suffered too much pain already from the likes of angels carrying the moniker of Castiel.

Sam, typical of his empathetic nature, slipped a long arm snug around your shoulders and stepped in to the rescuing role of knot-browed reason wielder to subdue Dean’s blow up; after all, they found Gabriel, no one was mortally injured, why not have another beer because– “Lay off! Dude, look at her, she obviously already feels bad enough. Yeah, maybe it was a mistake, but it’s understandable.” Understandable because of everything you lost. Because given the circumstances any one of them would have succumbed to the same temptation. Because family always comes first.

The tense draw of your mouth relaxed at Sam’s verbal vindication of your actions and Dean’s reluctant beer-glugged nod of consensus. Weight lifted, straightening spine stiffening to bolster your slouched frame, the doorway gaped back empty of angels when your eyes sought out Cas to share the relief. Sam squeezed you tighter then, murmured something vaguely supportive that failed to register in your shock over the angel’s absence. None of the warmth of his embrace penetrated the first prickles of numbness flowing over your flesh.

Numbest.

“Y/N?” Sam pushes open the bedroom door.

You remain rigid, staring upward.

“We’re, uh” –moving into the room, fingers staying at the door knob, he regards the motionless mass of you laid out on the comforter with a crinkle of concern vexing his forehead, but there’s no time for luxuries of concern– “Gabe’s grace has regenerated enough to try to open the rift. Rowena’s set up in the library. We’ll be leaving soon.”

Breaking off your attention from the fleck of dust, you loll your head to the side to look at him. “Cas, too?” your voice quietly cracks.

Sam bobs in affirmation. A taut frown seizes his lips. “He still not talking?”

The tear sliding down your cheek to stain the pillowcase is enough answer.

“Give him some time.” Sam’s gaze drops to the floor. He realizes it’s ridiculous reassurance given the crappy timing. “We’ll be back in 24 hours, okay?”

“Okay,” you answer. You can tell by the airy inflection of his tone he’s not entirely confident they will be. Neither are you. You know where they’re going.

Next: Ch. 16 - Speak of the Devil

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pagesofivy · 6 years

Text

The Omega Breaking Point

Request: Anon: “Alright so you’re an omega that lives with three alphas (Cas Dean Sam) and they always treat you like this thing that’s incompetent and can’t take care of themself so when they again deny you the right to come on their hunt you leave the bunker only leaving a note, and it breaks cas’s heart cuz he’s in love with you.. anyways you end up in trouble and they save you!”

Warnings: ABO universe, lil bit of angst, danger, canon-typical violence, briefest insinuated rape type thing,

Word Count: 3368 (I’M SO PROUD)

Beta: @quilliamfears

A/N: The A/B/O rules in this fic are sorta bland, it’s more a social status than anything here. This is mostly in Cas’ point of view, except the beginning part and the end. Also I made a James Patterson book reference in here, see if you can find it! Please be aware there are a lot of time skips in this, indicated by the breaks. POV switches are marked with “////”

As much as you love Cas and the Winchesters, those stupid Alphas only ever treat you like breakable glass due to your Omega status, even though you were a hunter long before you met any of them. You can handle your own, and they all three seem to forget that any time a case comes up lately, because this is the third case you’ve had to sit out on in two weeks. All it is, is a simple salt and burn in the next town over, but nope, you’re not allowed to go, put under house arrest essentially, and it makes you want to scream. What gives them the right?! You’re just as good at hunting as any of them, given the chance.

The boys are all three packing up for the case, apparently it could be a ghoul instead so they’re all three going, but they won’t let you, telling you that you need to stay back. Again. You suck it up and pretend to be over it, but all the while as they’re packing up, you’re planning. You can’t stay here, not when they treat you like this, like you’re useless and incapable of anything except running the fucking house.

The boys leave, giving you hugs and ignoring your petulant pout, and as soon as you hear the Impala rumble away into the distance, you get to work, grabbing two of your duffles and shoving all your stuff in them. You nab a few weapons from the armory and throw them in as well, just to be safe. Lastly, you grab the picture frame sitting beside your bed, huffing out a sigh. The picture inside is one of you and the boys, grinning as you squish in between the two brothers with Cas looking mildly confused, and you smile fondly at the memory of the day the picture was taken.

Sam and Dean were arguing over what type of food to get- Sam wanted salads and healthy stuff, of course, while Dean was petitioning for burgers, fries, and pies. Castiel was watching them intently, trying to understand the minute details of their interaction, still not fully comprehending the connection between the two brothers. You were sitting in a chair a little ways away, hiding your laughter behind a fond smile as you watched the entire thing. They looked so much like a family- hell, they were your family, and you felt a sudden, intense need to take a picture of them. You’d tried to do it sneakily, but then you’d left the flash on, and they all noticed. Though you expected them to get upset and scold you, Sam just grinned and motioned you over, then took your phone and held it out with his long moose arms. He pulled you close and Dean stood on your other side. They pulled Cas in behind you, though he wasn’t quite sure what was going on- he still hadn’t gotten the hang of cellphone photography yet either- and Sam snapped a couple pictures. Most of them were blurry, but there was one that was perfectly clear, and you’d gotten it printed out as soon as possible, putting it in a frame and keeping it on your shelf in your room.

You shake your head sadly, pulling yourself from the memory, and carefully place the frame in your bag, zipping it shut. You grab a pen and paper and write a note explaining why you left, that you’re tired of how they’ve treated you, and that you don’t want them looking for you because they can’t respect you as a hunter or a person and only see you as your biological status anymore, which hurts more than you can explain. You never thought that your family would hurt you this way, but they’ve proven you wrong, and so it’s time for you to be on your own.

Setting the note on the counter, you look around one last time and head to the garage, climbing into your car and driving off, ignoring the fact that you’re leaving behind everything you’ve known for years and the angel you’ve loved.

////////////

When the boys get home a few days later, they don’t expect you to be waiting anxiously for them, you never do when you’re peeved at them for leaving you behind, but the bunker is suspiciously empty, all three of them getting the sense of something being off as they walk in. It’s like the air is dead almost, and it puts them all on edge. They spread out, guns at the ready, and explore until Sam calls for them and Dean and Cas come running.

Sam stands in the kitchen, a piece of paper in his hand and a heartbroken look on his face. “It.. It’s from (Y/N). She left. She’s… She’s gone. She says that she’s tired of how we treated her, like she’s only an Omega and not a hunter or person.. She calls us family but says that family must mean heartache and pain, and that she thinks it’s time for her to be on her own. She doesn’t want us looking for her…”

Dean snatches the letter out of Sam’s hands and reads it, rereads it, his eyes going over her words repeatedly, not believing it. He looks up at Sam with wide eyes, then holds the letter out to Cas, who just shakes his head sadly.

“No, I feel that she is not here, I don’t need her words to confirm it.” He says quietly, and the boys stare at him in bewilderment. Castiel feels their confusion and shrugs, eyeing the floor. “I… I believe I am in love with her. I know her scent and it’s only faintly here, nearly absent. She’s gone and has been for a while. Because… Because I treated her as less.” Cas looks ashamed and walks away, head hanging low and shoulders slumped.

Dean looks over at Sam and cocks an eyebrow, to which Sam responds with a shrug. “I dunno how you hadn’t figured it out, they both love each other and just wouldn’t admit it. Even a blind man could see it, Dean. Are we going to look for her?” Sam asks, and it’s Dean’s turn to shrug.

“I don’t know man. She says not to, but since when do we not go look for family?” Dean feels torn, wanting to fix things but not wanting to make things worse. He feels guilty for how he treated you, even though he was just trying to keep you safe. It’s not that he thought you weren’t capable, he knew you could kick some serious ass, he just didn’t want you to have to.

“We’ll look for her then. Our bags are still packed, we might as well. Go find Cas, I’ll pack up try to ping her cell.” Dean nods and goes to find Castiel while Sam settles in at his laptop, plugging it in and getting to work making calls and trying to find her location with the gps.

A few hours later and Sam has her last known location, a town called Stillwater, Nevada, and they’re off, piled into the Impala and trying to ignore the moping angel in the back seat. Sam pulls up information on the town, trying to figure out why she decided to stop there. But then there’s articles on the town and some incidents that scream supernatural beings, and Sam dives fully into researching while Dean drives and Cas stares off into space, his face an unreadable blank slate that neither of the brothers want to discuss just yet.

They pull into the nearest motel and Dean goes to get them a room while Sam unloads the car, checking (Y/N)’s last known GPS location again. When Dean returns with the room keys, Sam speaks up. “Guys, the last place her phone was active is about a five minute drive from here. I think she’s hunting a vetala, has she taken them on before? Does she know they hunt in pairs?” Worry fills Sam and Dean, and they turn to consult with Cas, only to see him poof away. The brothers let out twin sighs of irritation before taking their stuff into the room and trying to form a plan to find (Y/N) and take out the vetalas.

/////////

Castiel, angel of the Lord and leader of a garrison, is powerless to save the woman he loves. He resigned himself to that as soon as he walked into the bunker and felt your absence. It feels like a piece of his heart is missing and he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to get it back, how to get you back. He realizes he messed up, and he wants to make things better, but he can’t do it when he can’t find you, and right now, you’re invisible to him. He curses himself for putting the enochian warding sigils on your ribs, though only for a moment, because logically he knows the symbols have kept you alive more than once. But logic is hard for Cas when it comes to you.

He sits on the ground and tries to calm himself with some meditation, center himself and focus, but his mind is all awhirl with worry for you. He forces himself to take deep breaths and focus on you, on your smile, your laugh, and the way you look after a hunt, the happy memories he has of you, because if he can hone in on you, maybe, just maybe, he can hear your thoughts.

After what feels like hours of silent focus, Cas gets a hint of your voice. Quiet at first, but it gets stronger, until it’s just one long scream of pain. Castiel tries to pinpoint your location, but he can’t, and he’s frantic. He can feel his wings unfurling and shaking, distressed at not being able to find his mate- well, not officially his mate yet but he’s determined to change that once they find you- who is obviously in pain.

Castiel eventually gets his emotions under control and makes his way to the motel room, pacing, too agitated to stay still as Dean outlines the plan. They’re going to leave Cas out of it until they’re sure it’s her, and then Dean will pray to him, Cas will to show up, and he’ll take (Y/N) out of there, wherever there is, to somewhere safe. He’s then going to heal her and take care of her until the brothers get back. Cas is to listen, try and find her via their connection, and if he finds her first, he has to call the brothers for backup before going in and saving her. Castiel doesn’t like being left out until the end, but he understands that it’s necessary, especially if they’re going to save (Y/N) the right way.

“Can you handle that, Cas?” Dean asks, grabbing onto Castiel’s shoulders, and Cas shakes himself from his thoughts, nodding once.

“I can handle that, Dean. I’ll keep listening.” He says, and the brothers share a look, then start packing their stuff and head out. Castiel climbs onto the middle of a bed and settles in, focusing his thoughts and energy on searching for her, desperate to find the other half of his heart.

It’s only a few hours later when he hears Dean’s voice, declaring their discovery, and Cas is there in a blink, eyes wild, appearance disheveled. The minute he lays eyes on her, Cas has (Y/N) in his arms and gone, back to the motel room, and he lays her gently on the bed. She’s bloody, beaten and bruised, her clothes shredded, and when Castiel sees the bruises on her thighs, his vision goes momentarily red. How dare anyone touch his mate in such a way! Cas’ wings rise, mirroring his agitation, and just as he’s about to storm out to find the monster, (Y/N) moves, just barely, the quietest whimper ever leaving her lips, and Castiel is right beside her, taking her hand and holding it carefully, sending healing warmth into her, desperate to ease her pain as much as he can. Without her conscious, he can’t assess how much damage is done, too afraid to touch her and make things worse, so he watches her face expectantly, willing her to wake up.

She moves again, squeezes his hand back, and his heart nearly sings at the response. “C-Cas?” She asks weakly, her voice hoarse, and she opens her eyes just a little, squinting up at him.

“Yes, it’s me (Y/N). What can I do for you? How can I help you, Omega?” He murmurs, reaching up and stroking a strand of hair off her face, infusing his touch with healing, desperate to fix her.

“He- he hurt me e-everywhere Alpha; I hurt a-all over. C-can you heal me? A-and water, my throat-” Before she can say more, Cas has a glass of water conjured, and his fingers pressed on her forehead, sending his grace through her body, healing every cut, scrape, and bruise on her battered body. She lets out a relieved sigh when she’s fully healed and carefully sits up, taking the glass of water from Cas. He watches her closely, eyes tracking every movement she makes, and she flushes under his gaze. “Thank you for saving me.” She whispers, and Castiel knows that he should just be thankful she’s alive and okay and back with him now, but unexpected anger rises in him and he bristles.

//////////

“You left.” Castiel’s voice is accusing, and the hurt underlying it makes your heart ache. Yes, you’d left, but you’d had your reasons- good reasons. You hadn’t expected anyone to be too upset about it, but apparently you were wrong.

“I- I did Castiel.” You reply cautiously, frowning and pulling your knees up to your chest like a barrier. You’re not sure what else to say, and Cas’ unreadable expression is focused on you intently, like he’s trying to read your mind.

“Why?” That single word and the broken, defeated way Castiel asks, shatters your heart. Of course he wouldn’t understand, he’s an angel and an Alpha. You scuff your toe against the floor, not wanting to look at Cas when you explain, but before you can say anything, Sam and Dean are bursting into the room, looking a little rough around the edges but nothing worse than usual. They both smile at you when they meet your eyes, and you move to give them each hugs, but Dean holds his hands up, stopping you.

“While I’m glad to see you safe and healed, (Y/N), but we’re covered in Vetala guts, and we’re pissed at you for leaving. So, no hugs just yet. I’m going to shower, and I’m sure Sam wants to too, and then you owe us an explanation, more than that damn note you left.” Dean’s tone leaves no room for argument and you nod your head meekly.

“I- I’m going to go to my room and shower too. I need to change out of these ripped clothes and get my stuff.” Cas’ head snaps up and his eyes are narrowed on you, practically giving away what he’s thinking. “And don’t worry, I won’t try to run again. Cas, if it’ll make you feel better, you can come with me to make sure I don’t.” You offer with a shrug, though you feel tense. The thought of extended time alone with Cas, once you’re clean, fills you with thoughts that are anything but. You’d missed the angel, and him calling you “Omega” had only stoked the fire of your oncoming heat.

Castiel nods, satisfied, and the Winchesters exchange a glance before nodding also. “Yeah, that’s fine, we’ll all get clean and meet up here. Pizza, beer, and an explanation, around 6?” Dean suggests, and you grin, nodding as well.

“Yeah, pizza sounds good. And I’ll explain then too. See y’all in a bit.” You grab Castiel’s hand without much thought and walk out, heading towards your room. You don’t have your keycard though, as you realize when you search your pockets, and you curse quietly. “Hey, uh, Cas, can you poof us into my room? I don’t have my key…” You ask meekly, and before you can even blink, you’re inside. You send the angel a smile and let go of his hand, moving around and gathering your shower stuff and clean clothes before turning and looking at Cas. “Make yourself at home, I’m just going to shower, I’ll be out quick.” You instruct before going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

The shower is exactly what you need, the surprisingly warm water cascading down your body in a comforting way, washing off the grime you feel covering your skin. Afterwards you slip on your plaid shirt and jeans, reveling in the comfort they provide. You walk out and grab your brush, running it through your hair as you look around for Cas.

When your eyes meet his, it feels like the world has stopped. He walks towards you slowly and takes your brush from your hands, tossing it on the bed, then strokes his fingers along your cheek. “I thought we’d lost you… I couldn’t sense you.” He whispers, and you lean into his touch, biting your lip.

“I’m sorry Cas, I just... I couldn’t stay. I said so in my note.” You offer weakly, and anger flashes in his eyes as he shakes his head, frowning.

“Your note means nothing. You left your family, abandoned me. We were all frantic (Y/N). We… I… It hurt, that you’d left.” Cas finally decides on his words, and you take a step back, his hand hanging in the air for just a second before he lets it drop.

“I’ll tell you and I’ll tell the boys; I needed space. You weren’t treating me like an individual! You treated me like I was breakable and couldn’t hold my own ever! You all seemed to forget that I was hunting just fine on my own the moment I admitted I was an Omega! So yes, I left. I can’t live like that, Castiel. I am a human being that can do things on my own. I enjoy going out and saving people, Cas, hunting down the monsters that terrorize the world. And you guys weren’t letting me tag along to do that, so sorry if I fucking left to make a point!” You’re yelling by the end, anger flowing through your veins, and Castiel frowns before getting in your space, his hands capturing your face and his lips pressing to yours in a heated kiss.

Your anger fades almost instantly and you melt into his touch, kissing him back, and you only pull away to breathe. “What- what the hell Cas?” You ask, your voice shaky, and Castiel sighs, frustration written across his face.

“Do you not realize how I feel for you, (Y/N)? You are my mate, even if you don’t recognize it, and I have to protect you. I’m sorry you aren’t happy that we leave you behind on hunts, but I need you safe-” You chuckle humorlessly and shake your head, shutting Cas up pretty effectively.

“Cas, mates or no, you have no right to lock me in the bunker, alone, and unable to help. I need to be out hunting. I can take care of myself, despite what just happened. And you can protect me on hunts too, you know? I get you want me safe, but leaving me behind is the worst way to do that.” You inform him, and Castiel actually looks sheepish.

“I- I am sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize… I was just concerned for your safety. Please, forgive me?” He asks, and you give him a soft smile, nodding before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“I forgive you Cas. Now, c’mon Flyboy, let’s go talk to the boys and get some food, I’m starved. We’ll discuss the mate situation afterwards.” You give him a wink and grab his hand again, leading him out of your room to face the music that is Sam and Dean Winchester.

TAGS:

Forevers: @animefanatic1728 @quilliamfears @winchester-with-wings @mrswhozeewhatsis @myfand0msandm0re @feelmyroarrrr @danijimenezv @mogaruke @aikibriarrose @sea040561 @becs-bunker @meganwinchester1999 @letsdisneythings @gone-to-fight-the-fairies @autoblocked @ashengem

Mixed Cas and ABO tags:

@vintagevalentinexx @itsemmyb @castielspahdehrah @beriala @charliesbackbitches @crzcorgi @ellen-reincarnated1967 @gryffindorable713 @deerlululucy @walkingencyclopediaoffandom @mrsjohnsmith @manawhaat @growleytria @thegleegeneration @samtomydeanwinchester @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @supermoonpanda @sis-tafics @amaranthinecastiel @kittenofdoomage @ferferelli @iridianuniverse @the-morning-star-falls @fangirling-instead-of-working @bkwrm523 @faith-in-dean @mamaimpala @winchesterfiesta @sleep-silent-angel @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @gadreelsforbiddenfruit @trenchcoats-and-bees @curliesallovertheplace @jencharlan @not-so-natural-spn @thebunkerismyhome @beachy2014 @fandom-book-nerd @katnharper @impossible-box @tia58 @deansleather @castiels-forbidden-angel @sunriserose1023 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @winchesterswoonathon @jotink78 @lucifer-in-leather @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @babypieandwhiskey @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @shelovesallthethings @revwinchester @klaineaholic @pinknerdpanda @quiddy-writes @taste-of-dean @alangel1895 @evilskank-inthemegacoven @there-must-be-a-lock @rockhoochie @winchestersmolder @hunterpuff @samanddeanwinchester67 @fangirling-instead-of-working @eyes-of-a-disney-princess @kayteonline @zanthiasplace @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @sams-sunshine @faegal04 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @avasmommy224 @spn-fan-girl-173 @emoryhemsworth

#Castiel x reader #abo universe #alpha!Cas x omega!reader #alpha!Castiel #omega!reader #twx writes #twx fanfic #requested

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samwinlover-blog · 6 years

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Of Dark and Broken Things- Part Two: A Man Named Sam Winchester

Pairing: implied/eventual Sam x reader Characters: Crowley, Dean, Sam, Cas, a few random demons and many many more Warnings: angst, violence, gore, drama, swearing Summary: (Y/N) has been different her entire life, and she knows it too. She’s grown up feeling like an outcast for the things she was able to do, the unnaturalthings she was able to do. But then she meets the Winchesters, and things are better for a while. Until they’re not. When (Y/N)’s past finally catches up with her, and the Winchesters have a front row seat to the madness, what’s going to happen next? And, more importantly, who’s able to survive the chaos? A/N: If you liked what you read, don’t hesitate to leave a comment:)

In the weeks following that dream, Chicago was wrecked by a string of natural disasters. Fires, storms, and even earthquakes, rocked the city to its core and left a trail of rubble in its wake. Everything, including your small apartment, was left with a layer of dust as the days went by.

Chicago: the city you’d finally settled down in after a lifetime of running. The city where you’d gotten your first real job, your first real apartment, deposited your first real check and called your foster mother for the first time in years. This city was a home of firsts for you, and you knew its blood ran deep in your veins.

So, that made it even more troublesome, that your abilities were somehow linked to everything that had happened to your beloved hometown.

It didn’t make sense, it couldn’t have even been possible, but you knew they were connected. You didn’t have any actual evidence, only a feeling. A feeling so similar to the one you’d had in that bookstore in Phoenix so long ago, that you knew you’d be a fool to ignore it. To ignore what your gut was telling you to be true.

But, none of that changed your initial shock and terror, when two armed men in flannels came bursting through your door one night.

“What the hell?!” You kicked the blankets off your lap and jumped out of bed, “Who are you?!”

When neither of them answered, just nodded to each other and kept their guns pointed at your head, you decided to take matters into your own hands- literally.

You raised an arm, summoning everything dark and twisted within, and then closed your fist- expecting your veins to turn black from the sudden use of your power. But they didn’t.

In fact, nothing happened at all.

You looked at your hands, and then the two men standing in front of you, and tried again. Still nothing.

It felt like there was a block, something unseen that was shoving your magic back down every time you tried to use it. You’d always struggled to control the darkness, to only let it out in small doses, but this was something different entirely. Deep in your chest, you could literally feel it screaming to get out, to be freed from whatever was holding it back. And, quite honestly, any other day it might have been a relief.

But not then, not in that moment, because you still had two enormous men standing in the middle of your apartment with guns pointed in your direction.

“Yeah,” The shorter one smirked, “That’s not gonna work anymore, sweetheart.”

The taller one finished the sentence, with a glint in his eye you couldn’t quite place, “There’re so many hexes and spells cast over this place- don’t try anything stupid.”

You inhaled, suddenly terrified by the idea of what was coming next, “Who the hell are you?!”

“My names Sam Winchester, and this is my brother Dean,” The tall one jutted his chin towards his brother, “And we hunt monsters like you for a living.”

Wait.. ‘Sam Winchester?!’

One Week Earlier:

“Hell belongs to you, Sam...... you and another as well. Find her, go to her, find her, go to her.....”

Sam jolted awake from yet another nightmare- every night, always the same for the past year and a half. There was a hooded figure, dressed in black with a willowy frame, calling out to him night after night. Sleep had never been his forte, but this was getting unbearable.

At this point, Sam knew he wasn’t going to go back to sleep, so he stumbled into the kitchen and found his computer instead. Hunts had been lazy, slow, nothing more than quick salt and burns without any action for the past few weeks. And he knew that both him and Dean were itching for some action, in all honesty it was driving them nuts.

When the two of them were alone, with nothing better to do, they seemed to focus on reality a lot more than usual. And, at that point in time, reality was god damn insanity.

This was entirely due to Sam, and these strange abilities he now possessed. At first they were just visions, headaches and nothing more, but these visions started coming true. He’d see supernatural deaths before they happened, every single time.

However, it was more than that- there were parts of it Sam hadn’t dared tell Dean. These parts were buried deep, but still were there, and the younger Winchester felt them calling to him every day. They whispered and whorled somewhere beneath his chest, and made the darkness feel inescapable. Like it was some form of fate even he could not cheat.

The Present

Sam felt his finger tremble over the trigger of his gun, as if for the first time in his life he couldn’t bring himself to pull it. To shoot the barefoot girl standing in front of him in skimpy pajamas.

But it wasn’t because of the way she looked, frozen there with her hand held up to stop them, there was something else about her as well. He’d called her a monster, but that had just been a front. In truth, when he looked into those night-black eyes, he felt a tug. A kindredness he’d never felt before in his life, not even with his brother. Or Jess.

There was something about this girl, who looked to be around his age, maybe a little bit younger, that made him think twice. He could feel the parts of himself that he'd been running from wake up once more- those dark and glittering parts that now felt like a beast in his stomach. Pick her, she’s the one, she’s yours, they seemed to chant.

Weeks before, he and Dean had pegged this case for a witch, and a god damn powerful one at that. The omens were everywhere: fires, earthquakes, storms, power outages- this girl had single handedly wrecked the city of Chicago.

But now, staring at her from across the barely lit bedroom, Sam knew she wasn’t a witch. He didn’t know how, he just knew she was something else entirely. Something special- he just didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing yet.

So, he tried, and failed, to follow his brother’s example- standing there with his face a mask of deadly serenity. He couldn’t bring himself to lower the gun, but he also knew he could never bring himself to pull the trigger.

tags: @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione@mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione@mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove @spectaculicious@bambinovak@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010@mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff@iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat@spntrista @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage@evyiione@winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke@therewillbeblood@megansescape@taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester@notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@lovekittykat21@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame@saxxxology@jensen-jarpad@keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137 @tatalopes23 @spnfanchicon14 @hollandisstilinski growningupgeek rosep16

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester imagine #sam x reader #sam winchester imagines #sam Winchester one shot #dean winchester #greek mythology #boyking!sam #dark!sam winchester #greek mythology imagines #sam winchester x goddess!reader #demigod!reader #sam winchester x demigod!reader

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mrs-dragneel-stark-solo · 4 years

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Unforseen Chasm (Part 41)

Part 41 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 1516 Warnings: Language, mentions of being chocked, fluff and hints at smut Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In a moment, it seemed like no time had passed, and yet it felt that you’d been out for hours. When you finally woke, Shannon was still out and so was Loki. Before panic could overtake you again, Bruce saw you were awake. Clearly, it’d been long enough for Tony and Steve to clear the room.

“Woah, hey, are you good?” Bruce asked as he walked over and put a hand on your shoulder, helping steady you.

“Yeah.. yeah.. Are they okay?” you asked, nodding towards them.

“They’re going to be… Long story short, Shannon’s powers were activated while she was at Strange’s with Loki. They used him to antagonize her and she sort of… hurt him…”

Your eyes bulged. Your mind was just about to snap at this news.

Shannon...hurt...Loki? Why?

Your blood boiled, your mind raced. You tried to fight yourself from going over there and completely going nuts on Shannon, but with each ticking second of seeing Loki lying on the bed next to you, it got harder to hold the beast back.

“She...what?” you demanded in almost a hiss.

Bruce suddenly saw the change in your nature. “Y/N/N, now… it’s okay. He was supposed to--”

“Supposed to wind up in a hospital bed?!” you screamed, your fingers electrifying with purple sparks. Unless Bruce wanted to Hulk out, he couldn’t contain you. Right now, everyone in this room was at your mercy.

You jumped off the table, ready to tear into Shannon. Ready to make her pay for what she'd done. As soon as your feet hit the floor, purple sparks washed over your entire body, your hair beginning to fly around you.

But before you could go any farther, Loki woke up, unbeknownst to you. Your focus was solely on the woman one bed over from him. Immediately, Loki saw you and he scrambled up.

“Y/N, Y/N,” he eased, seeing your state. He wanted to touch you, but your powers were creating a surface effect. If he put his hands on you, he could get shocked to the other side of the room. “Darling,” he coaxed, standing in front of you. “Look at me, focus on me. What’s wrong?”

“She hurt you,” you stated, your eyes not leaving her form.

“No, no… Well, she did, but she didn’t mean to. I did it on purpose. I had to,” he informed, trying to get you to look at him.

Finally, his words registered in you and you snapped back to reality, your powers subsiding. “What? Why?”

“They said they needed my help. They wanted one end of my emotions… then they wanted me to trigger her to get a response so they could help her… Her powers overtook her and she began choking me…”

You nodded slowly. “And her?”

“Her powers drained her,” Bruce piped up from behind you. You turned to him.

“So… what does this mean?”

“It means both of them need rest. You wanna take Loki down to his bed?” he suggested.

“Actually… I have some place better,” you realized. “Loki, do you mind waiting for me outside?” you asked.

“Certainly, darling,” he assured. He stepped over to you and kissed your forehead before letting you go. You walked up beside Shannon and peered down at her.

“I hope you feel better… You don’t deserve any of this,” you said, your voice sad before you leaned down and kissed her forehead. A gentle smile touched your lips as you gripped her hand. Your face shot towards Bruce. “You keep her safe, and healthy, do you understand?”

“Aye, aye,” Bruce said with a small wave of his hand and a faint smile.

With a final nod, you met with Loki, grasping his hand, as the two of you walked out of the tower together -- finally free.

-----------------------------

“Where are we going?” Loki questioned, curiosity in his voice.

“You’ll see,” you stated with an air of mystery.

“Being rather mischievous, aren’t you?” he inquired.

“That’s your job,” you teased.

This feeling of ease was… new, and fantastic. Walking the streets of your home city with the man you loved… How perfect could things get for you?

You were tense, though, awaiting the second someone recognized one of you, and the shitstorm began. But so far, no one even knew you two existed.

Finally, you arrived where you needed.

“Why are we here?” Loki asked, starting to wonder seriously about why he wasn’t back in his cell.

“I want to show you something here,” you told him once you stepped out of the elevator and onto the floor. You walked down nearly ten doors, and found the one you were looking for. You took a deep breath, and stuck the key in the door, turning it to unlock it.

The door swung open thanks to the push you gave it, and you leaned in and flicked on the lights.

“Ta-da!” you feebly announced, gesturing towards the spacious apartment.

Loki peered inside, his eyes going over different surfaces before he finally asked, “What is this?”

You bit your lip before walking inside. “This is our home,” you informed.

His eyes flashed to you. “Our...Our home?” he asked, almost as if he were in disbelief.

Nodding, you said, “Yeah. Um, see Shannon and I picked out this apartment right before you and I met. She kept it, since she thought I would come home. When I got let out on parole, she told me I could stay here, but I didn’t want to leave you. She helped me redecorate the place these last few months. If I wasn’t at work, or with you, I was here. Shannon moved most of her stuff out, to make room for things you might want. But… this is all ours,” you explained with nervous hope.

His eyes went back to scanning the place while you spoke, but then he wasn’t responding.

“Say something?” you requested. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” he asked, making you even more anxious. He walked towards you and put his hands on your shoulders. “My beloved… I… I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with you, have a home with you. Since we’ve been together, we’ve been caged, forbidden from leaving confines. To have a space that is ours? A private dwelling? This is perfect. It’s the best gift you could’ve given me.”

Grinning like a fool, you hugged him tightly. “Oh, I’m so glad you like it! We’ve spent so much time making everything perfect. Let me show you around.”

Taking his hand, you lead him to the kitchen, showing him all the brand new appliances. The living room with the new television. You then walked down the hall to the bathroom with fresh decor. You showed him the almost empty extra room, explaining you would probably turn it into an office. Finally, your bedroom.

“This is ours?” he asked, stepping in.

“Yeah,” you meekly informed, putting your hands behind your back as you followed him in. “Yeah, this was actually my bedroom before I went to Asgard. We didn’t close on the deal until after I left. But all my stuff is in here. I haven’t really changed any of this stuff. It’s mostly pictures, work documents, and some posters of movies I like,” you explained as Loki walked around the room.

“This… this is a glimpse into the life you had before me,” he commented.

“What… do you think?” you wondered, watching his face as he went around, looking at pictures.

“I think it’s amazing. This is you and Shannon, right?” he asked, pointing to a picture that had been framed - one of many.

You walked over and laughed. “Oh yeah. This was Halloween. I went as a Victorian Vampire and she went as a zombie nurse. We won the costume contest at the party we went to,” you explained, smiling at the memory.

Loki shook his head. “I… this has made me happier than I could ever imagine. I’ve always wanted to know your life better. Know your parents, know the life you led before you and I met… To know where your heart lied, to know where your passions led you.”

You shrugged. “Well, this is it. These are all my things. All my clothing, pictures, life’s work. It’s all here. Just, feel free to rummage. After you get some rest of course.”

“Rest is the last thing on my mind,” he quickly stated in a low voice, snaking his arms around your waist in a flash before picking you up.

“Loki,” you chastised. As much as fooling around sounded fun, you knew he needed to be resting.

“Darling, please? This is our first night, in our new home. Let me christen it? Then I will sleep all day tomorrow if you wish.”

Well, either Loki was extremely persuasive, or you were extremely easy.

“It’s very, very, very hard to say no to you,” you informed with a coy smile.

He gave a low laugh. “That’s what I like to hear.” Within an instant, his mouth was working wonders on your body.

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords @oldfreakything @adefectivedetective @dontbetooobvious

Tag list- @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @winchester-writes @winchesterenthusiast @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @sammysbuttcheek @misz-adrii @sandlee44 @womanxofletters @natsuccs @childishhoebinoo @expecteddifferent @girl-next-door-writes @fanaticfanfiction @dakotapaigelove @sassy-spn-knight-of-hell @reigningqueenofwordsmain @oldfreakything

Marvel: @reigningqueenofwords @flowerbunbunny @zelda2248 @misz-adrii

#unforseen chasm #unforeseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #bruce banner

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orionsangel86 · 7 years

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12x19 - Episode Review - Intimacy, Love, Faith and mixtapes

What can I even say about this episode? Since my first watch I have been going around with a goofy grin on my face while thinking of nothing but mixtapes and intimate touches between two people who love each other so dearly that even the most stringent heteronormative people must be side eyeing the show thinking “that’s kinda gay”. When I try to think about the actual plot of the episode though and what will come of this in the finale? Well, I am a bit lost… though I do have some ideas. I can’t say I am entirely thrilled by the plot structure this season. Hence my long tumblr absences as well as limited thoughts and meta since 12x12. There is too much going on, too many stories which don’t seem to have any real connection. Also Lucifer really pisses me off as a character now and every time he is on screen I roll my eyes.

This episode wasn’t up there with the likes of 12x10 and 12x12 for quality. Then again as soon as the story turns back to Kelly and her unborn Satan spawn I do find it hard to stay switched on, but the destiel this episode was glorious and gave me a lot of hope for where Dabb intends to take this. Am I still annoyed that we are lacking Cas so much this half season? Yes. Very. The fact that he doesn’t return until the finale pisses me off to no end, I will most likely disappear again after writing this review and not comment on the episodes leading up to the finale unless Dean suddenly decides to jump out of the closet and hit on handsome bisexual Max next week as a rebound for all the rejection he suffered in 12x19. (honestly I am praying to the TV Gods that Max takes a liking to Dean and we get a good helping of Gay to get us through our Cas withdrawal symptoms).

Without any further rambling however here is my review of 12x19.

It gets long down there under the cut…

Take this mixtape for my heart… complete with kisses and songs about you

The best part about this episode? Destiel. Oh boy the destiel. It was so gloriously gay. I can’t even imagine how the antis and non-shippers are feeling about this! I am so very full of joy and glee about this!

We know from the opening sequence that Dean has been pining for Cas and worrying about Cas for a while now, but the glorious moment when Cas walks into the Bunker and Dean looks up at him is just…

Oh how very dramatic. The might as well have put him in soft focus and had a swell of romantic music as his lover returned home from war… seriously. But then all the DeanCas shots in this episode are framed so romantically/intimately. Kudos to Amanda Tapping for just getting it. (then again she was present during the most heartbreaking DeanCas scene of all time the crypt scene and therefore I have no doubt that she is very much aware of Destiel and its importance.

Once again this shot escalates into an argument between Dean and Cas that Sam is stuck in the middle of. I seriously love how this has continued throughout season 12. Sam is the poor third wheel stuck in the middle whilst his brother and brother in law have a lovers tiff.

We get another classic confused kinda bitch face from Sam when Dean snaps at him because he dares to be nice to Cas…

Seriously we have now built up a nice collection of Sam bitchfaces and knowing looks when he is stuck having to deal with these two once again. Poor Sam. Let him save the day and get a dog and marry Eileen so he can finally get some PEACE! :P

“Not only were you ditching us you were ignoring us”.

“What the hells wrong with you man?”

We have a LOT of call backs to previous seasons in this episode. I mean A LOT of call backs. This one particularly was quite interesting as it threw us right back into Purgatory:

“I prayed to you Cas, every night”

“I know.”

“You know and you didn’t… What the hell’s wrong with you?”

So what does this mean? Already we have a call back to the start of season 8, which then lead to a whole story arc where Cas was brainwashed by the angels and ended with Dean managed to break through that brainwashing with the power of… platonic friendship pfft.

Doesn’t bode well for the end of this episode though does it?

Now we need to talk about the mixtape. Yes I know this has probably already been meta’d to death on tumblr. Yes I am sure some of you are sick of it (though be honest.. you aren’t really sick of it now are you? I know how long the “I love you” conversations lasted for after 12x12 aired so shut it and enjoy my meta thoughts too. :P )

Cas follows Dean back to his room (for the privacy of course – also note that he doesn’t feel he needs to explain himself to SAM) under the pretense of returning a mixtape that Dean gave him. My first though before we even GET to the subject of Dean giving Cas a mixtape in the first place, is why Cas is using the return of this very romantic gesture at all. Even with his knowledge of pop culture, I don’t think Cas realises the importance of giving someone a mixtape, hence him thinking he needed to return it in the first place. It was in no way a rejection from Cas (like he could reject Dean pfft). But Dean clarified that it was a gift anyway. Oh but can we just pause again and store this to fandom memory forever and ever?

DEAN WINCHESTER GAVE CASTIEL A MIXTAPE

And isn’t that the most beautiful, innocent, loving gesture that for these two macho manly gruff heros its almost too much to bare! Dean Winchester is such a fucking teddybear deep down I can’t quite stand it. Argh I love him so much for this moment!

So lets talk about this mixtape some more because I can’t get enough:

“Dean’s top 13 Zepp Traxx”

Except that’s not exactly what it says. Why two Xs rather than the correct spelling? Why the slight spacing between the “TRA” and the “XX”? Why, if you are spelling “Tracks” the ‘cool’ way would you not shorten it to “Trax” why two Xs unless those Xs also had a separate meaning loosly hidden in the spelling?

Basically those Xs are also ‘kisses’ and no one can tell me otherwise.

Isn’t that just a perfect mini metaphor for destiel itself though? The main text reading is that Dean has spelt the word the slang way, using the Xs as a fun way to spell the word only. Nothing suspicious here, totally platonic.

And yet everyone knows that Xs also mean kisses. Everyone.

The romantic message is hidden in the label. It isn’t totally obvious at first, but it is once you put it together with the general meaning of a mixtape.

Speaking of, for all you kiddies out there who haven’t lived in the age before CDs, ipods and MP3s, giving someone a mixtape has a HUGE meaning to it. It is also, without a doubt, always romantic.

I am sure that by the time I post this, the mixtape will have been meta’d to death on tumblr and you will all be flailing about it anyway… I know I was as soon as I first watched the episode. This is a big moment. No. Seriously. Friends don’t give friends mixtapes. People who love people and people who have major crushes on people give people mixed tapes. It is always always romantic in its meaning.

If we try to look for a platonic reading to this, perhaps Dean didn’t make this tape for Cas, perhaps its one he had lying around already (though the Xs kinda throw that reading out). Even so, it is still a mixtape that Dean made at some point and then gave to Cas. This is the canon. I just wish we could have seen the moment Dean gave it to him (probably shoved it at him with a gruff “here, you need to listen to some real music” whilst desperately trying and failing to stop himself blushing. I LOVE this and I wanna read that fanfiction.

To make this whole thing even more romantic. Dean confirms it himself. There is no denying it. “It’s a gift. You keep those” this wasn’t just something that Dean had lying around that Cas picked up and asked to borrow, it wasn’t something Dean just shoved at him and said “You need to listen to some decent music, take this” and didn’t think about it any more. Dean put thought into it because it was a gift specifically for Cas.

If only Cas had actually realised that fact. Though I will talk more about Cas’s continued unknowing rejection of Dean this episode a bit later… first this shot:

Its beautiful, and you all know me and my hand obsession in SPN. Hands have meaning. They are important. They leave a print. There is always intimacy in moments like this. The way Dean and Cas exchange touches throughout this season always brings me joy. This moment is no different.

I have decided to make a separate post about hands in this episode because I am a nerd who got super excited about all these beautiful close up hand shots that have such a massive significance. Anyway, back to the mixtape…

Ultimately, there was no plot related reason for the mixtape scene. Other than to give Cas an excuse to come find Dean… which he had anyway? To apologise and try to clear the air (and also to find the Colt) so… why the mixtape? Why even bring it into the show if not to emphasise Dean and Cas’s relationship and the romantic nature of it that is now more than heavily implied. After a previous one sided love confession how is ANYONE supposed to read their relationship as anything other than inherintly romantic?

Cas’s quiet “Oh” just infuriates me because REALLY CAS? You didn’t KNOW what that meant? Urgh. I mean, yeah okay so he never has been very good with the whole social conventions and stuff like that but still. Then Dean just goes and does something which makes me love him even more. He starts a conversation. Oh boy how he has grown. Communication is key and Dean FINALLY seems to be understanding this.

“Cas, you can’t… with everything that’s going on you can’t just go dark like that”

Interesting. Dark like Superman going darkside yeah? We are back to 6x20. We are seriously getting flashbacks to Destiel’s greatest hits in the space of a few minutes here. Also, this whole conversation is just so freaking intimate in the way it is shot, the dark moody lighting, the way both actors are speaking relatively softly compared to their usual gruff tones and just the sheer weight of emotion in Dean’s face.

Its forcing the viewer to get up close and personal with Dean’s feelings here. Forcing them to really consider how much he is hurting and therefore forcing them to ask the question WHY. Why does this make me, as a viewer, feel like I am intruding? Is this a common shot composition for friendly conversations between platonic friends?!? Um. Nope. Hence this ENTIRE SCENE SCREAMS ROMANCE. And also, sadly, betrayal.

At least we get an explanation from Cas. The thing is, we see Dean’s POV most of the time, therefore we don’t really get to understand Cas’s reasons for doing things, but this episode he does get a chance to justify his actions, and as expected, it all comes back to Dean…

“I needed to come back here with a win for you… for myself”

Because Cas has failed so much, is still suffering from depression (though it hasn’t been brought back into maintext for a while now) and is so conflicted on where he is supposed to be going nowadays. He has lost his mission, he has no riteous path, and no faith… and this episode is all about faith when you get down to it… faith and fate, destiny and hope for the future… though not from the right place (and we are now back even further – in season 5.) and Dean is desperate to get him back on track but still doesn’t really say the right things.

“We will find a better way”

“You mean we?” *gestures to the both of them

“Yes, dumbass, we.”

Dean is still having to clarify for Cas that he is part of their family and that they want him around. Cas still doesn’t get it, because even if Dean thinks he is being clear, he really isn’t. Not to someone who has struggled with their self worth, struggled with depression and feelings of total worthlessness. It will take far more than some words about the three of them to get Cas to realise just how much Dean cares. Remember folks, from Cas’s perspective, he has confessed his love and hasn’t heard it back. He didn’t a get a “I love you too” or even a “we love you too”. Just a “we ain’t leaving you behind”. Which is easy to explain away as the Winchesters not wanting people to die on their watch. The Winchesters always try to save people, meaning Cas isn’t any more special than any other random civilian who the Winchesters wouldn’t leave to die… when you think about it from Cas’s perspective, its still a bit of a kick in the teeth.

“You, me… and Sam. We’re just better together” Again, Dean isn’t quite giving Cas what he needs? The pause, then the added “and Sam” just takes us right back to the beer run in 11x23 and Cas’s dissapointment, It becomes easy to understand Cas’s motivations when you look at it from a destiel perspective and consider that he has been rejected and continuously referred to as a third wheel to the brother dynamic. In Cas’s mind, Dean doesn’t return his feelings, and by not understanding the implications of a mixtape as a gift, nor the extent to which Dean would go to forgive him, Cas continues down his path of destruction and takes the Colt. They may be communication, but they aren’t really communicating. Its such a classic romance trope and I’m pulling my hair out STILL over these two.

“Lets go Team Free Will”. Could the callbacks to previous seasons be any more obvious? Now we really are in season 5 and in the past 5 minutes have travelled back through the greatest hits of destiel. From Purgatory guilt, Season 6 betrayal and now season 5 loss of faith. These are the major themes of 12x19. Cas is stuck in a cycle of self destruction. Where will this end for him?

The next scene with Dean and Sam discussing Sam’s theories and the grace extraction as a potential solution just proves how far they have come. Its no longer “how do we kill the thing” but “how do we stop the thing from being evil without resorting to violence?” I call this the “Amara Effect” and I am very happy about this. Anyway, what I really wanna talk about here is just how happy Dean was to finally have a solution and how his FIRST THOUGHT was “I’ll get Cas”. Like he just wanted Cas to be there to work with them on this together. He really did mean what he said to Cas in his room. My heart breaks for him when he realises Cas is gone.

However can we please just take a moment to be so fucking thankful that FINALLY IT IS CANON THAT CAS HAS A ROOM IN THE BUNKER!!

This is CAS’s ROOM! CASTIEL HAS A ROOM AT THE BUNKER. Number 15 to be exact. 3 doors down from Dean. (yes I know this was also the number of the room used by Mary apparantly earlier on in this season but clearly Cas stays there because why else would Dean have gone to this random room to look for him and not the kitchen or the archives hmm?)

LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE REALISES CAS IS GONE AGAIN

Oh Dean. It is such a common trope though. Just when he thinks he has the person he loves back by his side again, they are gone. We really are back to season 8 here with Cas being the one rejecting Dean. (please lets not forget that the extent of the rejection for the past three seasons has been on Dean with Cas holding the torch for destiel and it is only now that we are finally experiencing the brunt of the shift back to Dean.) This episode is by FAR the most romantic we have had so far in terms of destiel in the past FOUR seasons. The only episodes that really surpass it are 6x20 and 8x17 (though 12x10 is a close contender). This is being written, and shot as a romance and my gosh I love it. Poor Dean.

THEN we get further justification for Cas’s actions. I know that this episode hasn’t really done him any favours for painting him as a bit of a villain and I know that the Cas haters will have a field day with his treatment of the Winchesters, but we are getting solid explanations for his actions here, and they all point back to Cas’s love for the Winchesters, his love for Dean…

“I am doing this for the Winchesters. I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission”

“I will kill this girl, so that Sam and Dean won’t have to.”

Because that really is love, Cas would do the dirty work to spare Sam and Dean the pain of having to do something that could traumatise them further. Cas is doing this so that they won’t have to suffer that. He is doing it to protect them, because he loves them. I swear to god if I see a single post from a cas hater trying to paint him as a villain who doesn’t care I will be all over it. They have NOTHING to back up their arguments.

It is of course, the same tune that Cas is singing again and again. This is the reason behind ALL of his motivations. Its always about the Winchesters. Its not about his reputation, glory, praise, its not even about saving the world. Its about sparing Sam and Dean from doing something horrible. He just wants them to have the peace and freedom they taught him was so important back in freaking season FOUR. I won’t be holding his decisions in this episode against him, because I think Dabb has a very clear idea of where Cas is going with his story arc, and its all about emphasising what is truly important to him, what Cas basically lives for now. Yeah, he needed the win. He needs to put a stop to something that could potentially destroy the world, but his true reasons for doing it are spelt out in this episode.

Coming back to Sam and Dean, the conversation about the Colt:

“How did Cas even get the Colt out of the safe in the first place?”

“…”

“Dean, you put the colt back in the safe right? Dean?”

“… it was under my pillow… I like to keep it close.”

“He came into my room and he played me.”

“He played us both.”

What I love about this exchange, is that until this moment we don’t know where Cas got the Colt from. He could have just broken into the safe, or he could have got it from where Dean previously kept it under the table in the library. But they chose to have him steal it from under Dean’s pillow. Once again there is added intimacy to a scene where really, the intimacy is unecessary for the plot. When you start to put together all the choices that the writer and director made for this episode, it becomes really difficult to see it from a persective that doesn’t involve Destiel.

Yes, we know in the previous scene that Dean left Cas alone in his room, but the way Dean acts when he owns up to Sam that it was stolen from under his pillow makes it sound like it WASN’T innocent. “Cas came into my room and distracted me and manipulated me enough to find and steal the colt from under my pillow.” It just stinks of sexual subtext and it makes the betrayal that much worse. As I said before, this is 6x20 all over again. But this time its even MORE personal BECAUSE of everything they have been through since then and just how much they have admitted to each other including a bloody love confession and a mixtape. The theft from under the pillow of all places only adds a sexual layer to that heap of intimate subtext. Am I saying they had sex? No. I am not saying this. What I am saying is that having Cas steal the Colt from under Dean’s pillow rather than from a safe or from another safe place adds a layer of intimacy that was not previously necessary. It makes the theft a bigger violation of Dean’s trust than stealing it from the safe, it makes the betrayal a lovers betrayal rather than the betrayal of a friend in the subtext. (I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well, but hopefully you all get the general idea).

Basically, it is another point to add to the list of things in this episode that show that Dean and Cas’s relationship is romantic rather than platonic at this stage (even if textually it isn’t… its how they both act and feel around each other and emphasises how their feelings for each other are NOT PLATONIC.)

As always, at this stage, if you are still struggling to see a destiel reading, consider the same scene but with Sam rather than Dean. Would it work the same way? Have the same impact? How about instead, just considering WHY this never happens to Sam? Why Dean gets the emotional close up with the sweeping string music whilst staring longlingly into Castiel’s empty bedroom and not Sam. Why its Dean that runs off to get Cas, why its Dean’s pillow that Cas stole the Colt from under, why its Dean that gave him the mixtape, and not Sam.

Then we get shots like THIS:

Which lets be honest, are oozing with sexual tension. I was discussing with @godshipsit about how when I first watched this scene, my heart kinda skipped a beat and I was stunned for a second into thinking “this is how they will go canon” (not in this exact scene in this episode of course, but it will be like this when it finally happens. Because I can picture this shot, I can picture the frustration between them and Dean just deciding enough is enough and taking that final step forward and just kissing his dumbass angel so that he finally gets it) The framing of the shot again is beautifully done, the circle around them, framing them and also making the viewer feel like once again they are spying on them. Yes Dean is angry, but Cas is letting him manhandle him up against a wall. Remember he is an angel, he could easily stand his ground, but he doesn’t. He lets Dean get out his frustration here. Lets Dean be threatening. Notice how Sam doesn’t ever react in such a way. Because its not really how friends react is it?

Okay so Dean and Cas have a volatile relationship, that sometimes leads to moments like this which could be viewed as violent or even dare I say ‘abusive’ and gosh wouldn’t the anti’s have a field day with that. But think about romantic tropes for a second, the old hollywood types. Its never friends that get angry and have moments like this that are shot in such a way, but lovers? Having lovers tiffs? Yeah, this is common. The fighting, the pinning against a wall, the staring into each others eyes trying to stand their ground? Its classic sexual tension. Dean doesn’t hurt Cas in this scene remember. Cas doesn’t hurt Dean either. Not physically. The only reason that Cas hurts Dean emotionally is because he doesn’t realise how much Dean cares about him. He knows he is betraying his friends, he knows he is doing wrong in terms of a friendship but views his actions as justified to keep them safe. From a romantic perspective Cas has not yet grasped just how much he is emotionally hurting Dean at this point – because Dean hasn’t yet given him reason to believe he is hurting him this much – though he makes it pretty obvious from the audiences perspective.

Then if we hadn’t already had it spelled out to us again Cas once again gives us his reasons:

“I wanted to keep you out of this, I was trying to keep you safe”

“this is my responsibility”

The writers are constantly trying to remind the audience that Cas’s reasons are always about the Winchesters. There isn’t a selfish bone in his body. He may be jepardising his relationship with them, but to him the end justifies the means. Cas wants the Winchesters kept safe, so his betrayal makes sense to him. Like I have said before. It is season 6 all over again. I just hope it ends differently.

I have to give Dean major kudos here though for being the most understanding boyfriend on the planet, because even after Kelly and Cas steal his beloved Impala he STILL is able to stick up for Cas

“He’s so desperate for a win now he can’t even see straight”

In case the viewers weren’t aware already that Cas is SO NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, Dean spells it out for us in his own words. Yeah, he’s pissed, but he is still able to see Cas’s POV, he gets it, he still cares, still wants to be there for him. I am sure there is some awesome symbolic meaning behind him fixing Cas’s truck up for him as well. If the way Dean fixing up the Impala is supposed to symbolise him healing his own soul, fixing up Cas’s truck has got to also symbolise him fixing Cas. Dean will be there for Cas when he comes back, like he always does.

Dean has come so far this season. His development, his ability to see other peoples POV, his distaste for lies and his slow deconstruction of his ‘performing Dean’ mask. I just adore how far Dean has come, and I can’t wait to see more of this. Dean is being forgiving, he is understanding, he is communicating and I think it is wonderful, really. Not just for destiel, but for his own health and state of mind, and for all the other characters he interacts with.

Moving past the epic finale with baby lucifer taking control of Cas to destroy Dagon, I need to talk about this scene:

Because yeah, something is wrong with Cas, but he was still himself enough to show this level of care and consideration to Dean. The gentle “you’re hurt” and this gorgeous and intimate (again the intimacy in the shots this episode has me majorly fangirling at Amanda Tappin’s excellent direction) caress as he heals him. Dean doesn’t get a standard tap on the forehead or glowy hand hovering a few inches above an injury. Nope. Dean gets gentle, intimate caresses as he is healed. Because Dean is and always will be special to Cas.

Dean won’t let Cas leave, even after everything Cas has done this episode, he still worries about him and argues to stay with him

“Whatever that thing did to you we’re not just gonna let you walk away” Dean knows that Cas isn’t right, he knows that he can’t leave him now. Dean has been down this road before, and that whole speech about faith and the baby well, it just brought back major 8x17 feels to be honest. It sounded like Cas talking about the angel tablet all over again. That was after the brainwashing was broken remember? More on that in a bit.

Basically, this episode was full of destiel moment and I am a big heap of emotional mess thanks to it. Nevertheless, there is more to talk about than just the glorious destieliciousness of this episode (yes that is totally a word).

Therefore, let’s consider what we learned about:

Lucifer’s Baby, Faith and the Future

The fact that this episode started out so darkly, immediately screamed to me that it was not going to end well either, or that any of this was going to end well. Kelly was so very lost to the point that she killed herself. A striking visual for the viewer, and one that is all too common in TV and film nowadays. Kelly couldn’t cope with what her baby would become, and so resorted to taking her own life and the life of the baby instead.

Honestly this is the first episode that I have actually liked Kelly’s character. It feels like the first time she has had any real depth and personality (which is fitting since its also the first time she has been written by a writer other than the terrible duo).

The baby saves her though of course, since it is half angel and therefore has the power of grace to heal her. This shouldn’t be surprising to anyone who understands angels but Kelly treats it as a miracle. She has a change of heart and suddenly we are on the “faith” path.

I think that Cas was probably always going to bond with Kelly after this scene. It may still only be buried in the subtext, but we have had enough call backs to season 8 this episode to make us remember that very heart breaking moment in 8x08 when Cas admitted to Dean that he might kill himself. Cas has been suicidal in the past. With everything he has been through, it’s no wonder he couldn’t go through with killing Kelly.

Whilst I don’t think that the baby will be quite the great evil that Dagon thinks it will be, I have no doubt in my mind that it has Lucifer-like tendencies to manipulate and that at this point its main concern is its own survival. I don’t think it is inherently evil, but still:

“Every sad weak human, every tight ass angel, every snivelling demon, they’ll all be consumed.”

Doesn’t this all seem very Amara-like to you? Because honestly the use of the word ‘consumed’ kinda throws big Amara signs my way. But surely not because we did this story last season. (see this is why the Lucifer baby story annoys me). Anyway, the stories are really similar. The Angels all want this baby dead, so they go to great lengths to kill it, only Cas can’t do it because hes’ Cas and he may talk a big game but killing innocents hasn’t been his thing since well… Jesse… and that is yet another time they basically did this freaking story.

As I mentioned though, Kelly gets through to Cas because of their similar experiences with desiring suicide and feeling hopeless. They are both mirrored this episode as feeling lost and hopeless and therefore vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Isn’t that always the way the devil gets to you? Isn’t that exactly what Lucifer did to Cas last year?

The whole conversation about faith and destiny is very season 5 and is very intentional in an episode that has already used the phrase “team free will” to refer to Sam, Dean and Cas. Other things in this episode that seem kinda pointless on the surface but must have some deeper meaning include the death of Joshua. Why bring him back for all of one episode only to kill him like that? Unless of course he was simply there to remind the viewer of something? Just like the mentioning of “team free will” even though honestly why Dean would say such a thing to Cas who was unconscious the first time he said it? This isn’t just fanservice. This is to take the viewer right back to season 5 and the BIG theme of that season. Free Will, Freedom and Choice are far more important than destiny and fate, and that faith can come from all kinds of different sources.

The last episode where we met Joshua was Dark Side of the Moon. The episode where Castiel lost his faith. Since then, Castiel has had only one real source of faith: the Winchesters. Yes he has been lost and low and broken over the years but he has always had one overall believe, and that is the Winchesters and what they do. In the same episode where we see a massive increase in Destiel subtext and Pining!Dean we also see the return of Joshua for all of two seconds and Dean trying so hard to get through to Cas, to convince him that the three of them work best together, but Cas still doesn’t get it, doesn’t see it, because Dean hasn’t given him the real reasons, hasn’t spelled it out for him the way Cas did to Dean in 12x12. There has been no obvious love confession from Dean. So Cas is still lost, still wondering, still without a guiding light to bring him home.

Hence he is an easy target for the creepy baby to come and take him as its personal protector. By the end of the episode, Castiel is not our Cas. Not the Cas that chooses the Winchesters anyway. Not the Cas that chooses love over all else. This is a Cas who is reminiscent of Cas when he held the angel tablet and it spoke to his angel coding and told him to keep it safe at all costs. This isn’t brainwashing as such, not the way Naomi brainwashed him, or Rowena cast a spell on him, or Lucifer possessed him. This is a Cas that is vulnerable and in desperate need of a mission to keep him preoccupied to stop him from feeling utterly worthless because he couldn’t bring Dean a “win”. That baby latched on to those feelings, and convinced Cas that he was the best chance of a better future.

The fact that both Kelly and Cas had these yellow eyes is clear proof that this is NOT GOOD. Okay so they still have their pupils in tact unlike the Princes of Hell, but it is still yellow and it still came with that unsettling sound effect that was always associated with Azazel (and then brought back for Ramiel). The baby may not be “evil” in the literal sense, but it is not a good thing. It will not be born and be the “savior”.

Castiel and faith do not go together. When you give Castiel faith in anything that isn’t a Winchester, well, its just not done. This won’t be good. Especially when the words “The Future” were heard over this shot:

Isn’t that ominous. Castiel may have come back to his senses enough to gently heal Dean’s injury (proving that our real Cas is still in there somewhere – always thinking of Dean when he is hurt) but real Cas would NOT just leave Dean and Sam lying on the ground vulnerable outside the ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN AND ALL THOSE ANGELS THAT HATE THEM. WHAT THE FUCK? Yeah so not good basically.

Whatever the future that the baby showed Cas was, it seemed to please him. Now, since it showed Kelly the real future that we saw in this episode then it must have been somewhat real, it also had to be something that was enough motivation to give Cas his faith back… but what could that possibly be? A world without SPN creatures? A world in which Sam and Dean have the peace they deserve? Safety? A life outside of hunting? What else could possibly motivate Cas to go along with this babies ‘plan’ if not something to help the Winchesters?

I’m still unconvinced that this will be anything but bad and that Castiel has been shown a lie. Either that, or this is how they tie the whole thing into the BMOL plot where they want to get rid of all spn creatures as well… even though Sam and Dean are also against them (or will be once they realise the extent of their crazy fascism).

All I can hope is that Dabb knows where he is going with this. The emotional plot seems to be far stronger than the actual story line this year. Which is great in one way, but I still feel we are lacking structure, and I cannot see how this is gonna end. I kinda want to believe that Dabb has decided to let Cas get sort of brainwashed again just so he can have another go at the Crypt Scene (and get it RIGHT this time) because really what else is gonna break Cas out of this weird kind of semi-controlled state? Other than Dean’s love? Why else would they ramp up the subtext to 11 in the same episode that Cas loses his own free will if not to prove to us that Dean will yet again be the key to his freedom?

Overall

The Destiel was great, the plot kinda meh, I have no idea where this baby plot is going and if we get a repeat of season 11s baby Amara plot I’ll be pissed. If Lucifer doesn’t die in the finale I’ll be pissed (I want Cas to hold him down whilst Sam kills him). Fingers crossed for a Crypt Scene but with a canon confession of love from Dean far greater than 8x17s “I need you”. After all, he has been shedding so much of his performance mask, trying so hard to be honest, to accept other people into his life… he is opening himself to vulnerability and accepting that it is okay to do – even when those people hurt him… Dean is learning to be emotionally healthy and really, this route can only end in him doing the one thing he has always struggled to do. The return of his mother this season has only emphasised this. Bearing in mind she is the only person he has ever said the words to before. Could we be on track to getting a confession of love from Dean to Cas? Isn’t it about time? After this episode, I actually think it’s a possibility.

I hate that Cas is not himself again. It breaks my heart. I imagine a lot of people see this as a regression, and I am trying not to. He needs to learn that there are other ways. The difference is that now Dean knows the reasons why Cas is like this. Cas did use his words to explain his reasons quite clearly, so Dean understood. Dean just needs to figure out the key to getting Cas to see things from his POV.

This episode had many great points in it. Obviously the destiel was glorious. The camera work and framing and composition and direction were also fantastic. I hope Amanda comes back and directs again. The one word I will use to describe this episode is “intimate”. Because half the time I felt like I was watching very private moments between characters and I don’t usually feel that way. It was really well put together. I do hope it all comes together by season end, though I am still not too sure. Either way, I liked this episode, even with the baby plot and Lucifer turning up in the middle there. It was satisfying. I’ll give it a 8/10 for how it made me feel after my first watch.

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