#the equally hilarious part is that it works the opposite way for Joker

[shadeswift99]

You know I love Among Us nights as much as the next person, and I really enjoy the non-Hermits being there as a refreshing bit of extra entertainment. That being said, not being accustomed to the others' names and general vibe makes every single meeting absolutely hilarious when taken out of context, because it's literally just:

"Oh goodness, there's been a murder! Who on earth could possibly have betrayed our trust and committed such an act? Is it Etho...is it Impulse...is it that guy who wears all black and a plague doctor mask and goes by the name of Evil... it's truely a mystery for the ages, we may never know..."

#the equally hilarious part is that it works the opposite way for Joker #is the guy named Joker the jester? YES. #always. #man I love the among us streams..... #hermit among us #hermitcraft adjacent #shade rambles

[pluckyredhead]

There are a lot posts on here about the trope of “everyone knows that hero’s secret identity but they’re pretending not to,” and everyone can have their own head canon, but mine are correct. So here is the definitive list of which DC franchises should have actually functional secret identities and which ones shouldn’t:

Superfamily: What didn’t Bendis ruin? Superman’s secret identity should be the most ironclad one in the DCU, or possibly tied with Batman’s. “This guy puts on glasses and somehow it works???” is FOUNDATIONAL to the very nature of the genre. The best episodes of both Superman: The Animated Series and Lois and Clark are about how crucial the secret identity is to Clark living a full life. You can’t be Superman and publicly accessible at all times, and also, it ruins the fun. Only two people should ever figure out Superman’s secret identity, and they should be Lois, who calls him on it, and (much later) Jimmy, who doesn’t, because as long as Clark and Superman are two different people he’s gonna keep getting two different birthday presents every year. Jon and Kara’s IDs should be equally airtight. Kon’s is terrible but no one figures it out because Jacket Superboy is such a ham that no one believes he could maintain a secret identity for more than 30 seconds before revealing it in an attempt to get a date or score a free Zesti. (The world knows the boys as Jacket Superboy and Baby Superboy. I don’t care how old Jon is.)

Batfamily: ALSO AIRTIGHT. The only people who should ever be able to figure out Batman’s secret identity are Ra’s al Ghul, Bane, and Tim Drake, three equally weirdo stalkers. No, the Joker doesn’t know. No, the working girls from Jason’s old neighborhood didn’t figure it out because the Red Hood is nice to them. Yes, Matches Malone and Alvin Draper are highly convincing personas. IT DOESN’T WORK IF IT ISN’T AIRTIGHT. I DON’T CARE IF THE BUTTS MATCH.

Wonder Family: Only Cassie even bothers, and she doesn’t have the wig or goggles anymore, so...yeah, everyone at the Elias School knows she’s Wonder Girl. It’s fine. They think it’s cool.

Flash Family: SIGH. Speaking of people who ruin everything, Geoff Johns. Let’s go back to when Wally had no secret identity and was absolutely basking in the attention 24/7. Jay doesn’t even wear a mask! I will permit inexplicable secret identities for Bart and Wallace so that they can go to school. And hell, you know what, let’s say Barry isn’t even trying to maintain a secret identity but no one notices because they assume there’s no way a man that milquetoast could be the Flash, that would be funny.

Green Lanterns: John and Guy have never had secret identities. Does Hal? Does he really? Kyle is the opposite of Barry, where he truly believes he has a functioning secret identity even though he publicly hangs out with the other GLs all the time and leaves Earth for months at a stretch and wears a costume so tight anyone who has ever seen him naked is like “Oh hey, it’s Kyle!” I will allow Simon and Jess to retain their secret IDs for now because Simon wears a mask and Jess never leaves the house and they have, um, families to protect and stuff, which the older four don’t really anymore. (Are Hal’s brothers in continuity anymore? I can’t remember.)

Arrowfamily: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The best part is that they really think they have secret identities. Bless all of their beautiful, equally stupid hearts.

Aquafamily: They don’t actually have any (except that on occasion Arthur has gone by “C. King” or “Mr. Waterman” on land, which is FUCKING HILARIOUS), but there is an arc where Arthur grew a beard and everyone in Atlantis was like “Wow, who’s that?” HE WAS THEIR RECENTLY DEPOSED KING! WITH A BEARD! STILL WEARING THE AQUAMN COSTUME! AND THEY HAD NO IDEA!!! Anyway I therefore propose that humans can see through any Aquafam disguise instantly no matter how good it is but Atlanteans are inexplicably fooled by the flimsiest of fake mustaches and eyepatches. Garth came home with a slight Scottish accent after boarding school and no one recognized him for three months.

Boostle Family (THIS IS A THING, SHUT UP): Booster doesn’t have one. Jaime’s is flawless. Ted truly thinks his works even though he is publicly married to best friends with Booster. I love them.

#comics