#the fact that there's something called a hell pig that existed scares me

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Do You Trust Me?

Pairing: Arvin Russel x Reader

Summary: When Lenora finds out she’s pregnant and another girl turns up pregnant and murdered, Arvin and Y/N take matters into their own hands. 

Warnings: Violence, Murder, Sexual Assualt, Teen Pregnancy, Cursing, Mentions of Rape, Bullying, Dark Religious Themes, Talk of Abortion  DO NOT READ IF THESE BOTHER YOU (Very similar things to the movie)

Word Count: 7000

A/N: So Lenora doesn’t die in this but that part is instead replaced by the Reaster girl being found dead (I named her Jeanette... I didn’t remember if they gave her a first name)

A/N 2: I know I’m writing characters that exist already but like I feel like I’m going to Hell for writing this. Any other Christians feel that way about liking the movie?

___________________________________

Secrets were hard to keep in such a small town as Coal Creek. Everyone knew everyone and if one person saw something, the whole town knew about it by next morning. That’s why Lenora had kept her secrets with Reverend Teagarden from all except you. Other than Arvin, you were her only friend in the world. It felt nice to have another girl to talk to because as much as she loved her brother, it was nothing like having a sister. Though you weren’t related, just friends from school, it was the closest thing she had. 

The two of you had bonded over the harassment from boys at school. Unlike Lenora, you had no problem dishing back threats and abuse. You were more like Arvin in that sense, not always terrified that the Lord was going to smite you for defending yourself. You and Arvin were close too because of it. 

The day you two met, he’d gone to pick Lenora up from school one day to find the two of you cornered out back by Dinwoodie and his boys. They called Lenora ugly, as per their daily routine, and said they wouldn’t fuck her with a bag on a her head. Tommy Matheson had a paper bag held over her face, holding her down while she squirmed. 

“There ain’t nothing alive that would willingly let you touch them, Dinwoodie!” You spat while Orville Buckman held you back, his arms wrapped around your body, keeping your arms . pinned to your side, “You’re a vile thing. Hell, I’m sure a dead pig wouldn’t let you fuck it.” 

Dinwoodie spun around and blew a hard smack across your face, “Lenora here ain’t much different than that. But you on the other hand, I’d take you whether you wanted it or not. I like a girl with a dirty mouth. And lucky you, I won’t make you wear the bag.” 

He fisted your hair and pulled your face close to him, trying to force a kiss from you but spat in his face, a massive drip of saliva landing in his eyes and smaller particles spewed across his lips. “You nasty bi-” Gene Dinwoodie reared back, ready to hit you again when suddenly Arvin came out of nowhere, sending a solid blow straight into Gene’s face, sending him flying to the ground with a crack. 

Orville let you go to go after Arvin and Tommy did the same to Lenora. You ran over to her and pulled the bag from her head, seeing evidence of her silent tears all over her face. Once you saw she was okay though, you ran over to help Arvin, who had found himself dragged to the ground by the three boys. Lenora got up too, screaming for them to stop. 

“Stop!” You yelled, pulling at Gene’s arms to try and get him to stop kicking Arvin. He shoved you back harshly by the chest but you caught yourself, returning with a sharp blow to his face with your locked fist. 

The enraged boy smacked you even harder than before, sending your ass to the ground with thud that you knew would leave a bruise. Your hands and knees got skinned up as you skid slightly on the pavement. Lenora kept pulling on the boys too, begging them to stop but to no avail. 

“Ha, sister fucker!” The three of them called out to Arvin before leaving the three of you alone. 

“Are you okay?” You asked the boy that you hadn’t met before, who was curled up in a ball on the ground and holding his stomach. He groaned in response, trying to push himself up but requiring your assistance. “Thank you for what you did back there. I’m sorry this happened.” 

He stretched, flinching at the slight movement. He sent a small nod towards you but then turned towards Lenora, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, Lenora.” Words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt for allowing this to happen. 

“It-it’s okay, Arvin. It wasn’t that bad this time. Y/N here took the brunt of it, unfortunately.” Lenora turned to you, “‘M sorry about that, by the way. You didn’t need to step in for me.” 

You had stood up about the same time Arvin did, brushing as much of the dirt off your bleeding and scraped up knees as you could without flinching, “Those guys are ass holes, Lenora. I did need to.” 

Lenora piped up, “Oh, um, Y/N, this is my brother Arvin. Arvin, this is Y/N. She just moved here.” 

“It’s nice to meet ya.” You greeted the boy with a pained smile, your face hurting from the blows you’d just taken. 

Arvin nodded, “You too.” He paused for a moment, “Can I give you a ride home? I don’t need them boys catching up with you again on the ride home. Besides, your face is getting mighty red. I might have something back at my house to keep it from bruising up too bad.” 

You looked over at Lenora, sending her a questioning look, like asking if you could trust this boy who had just come to your rescue, which may have seemed like an odd inquiry to have since he just tried to take on the guys harassing you, but your encounters with boys in this town hadn’t gone all too well thus far. The girl looked unfazed though with almost a hint of excitement that you could possibly be going to her home. 

“Um, yeah, I’d like that. Thank you.” You tucked a messy strand of hair behind your ear before looking back up at Arvin to see that he was already staring at you. 

That was months ago. You’d gotten settled into Coal Creek by now and the abuse from Dinwoodie had stopped entirely after Arvin had gone full vigilante to beat the shit out of them all. Speaking of Arvin, the day he saved you and Lenora, he asked you on a date and the pair of you had been going steady ever since. If there was ever a couple to not be fucked with, the town had learned it was you two. 

This weekend, you’d gone over to the Russel’s home for supper at their Grandma’s invitation. It was delicious, as usual, as that woman had the God-given ability to produce miracles in that kitchen. As you all finished up, Uncle Earskell asked Arvin to help with something upstairs so he left without a second thought to help his kin. 

Lenora had been looking at you funny all night, as if trying to catch your eye. After helping Grandma (which she insisted you call her as well) clean up supper, Lenora pulled you off to the side, “Y/N, let’s go on a walk. I need to tell you something.” 

The weight in her eyes told you how serious this was so you just nodded, “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.” 

She grabbed a lantern on her way out the door and towards the barn. It was already dark, despite only being seven in the evening. Lenora led you out there and then closed the door before sitting on the hay. “So what is it?” You asked nervously. Normally, you would have made a joke but something told you that this wasn’t a joking matter. Anxiety buzzed all around her. 

“Y’know the new pastor? Preston Teagarden?” Lenora began, wringing her hands together and beginning to hide under her long red hair. 

You nodded, the question having an obvious answer as everyone, including your God fearing Mama and Aunt, went to church every Sunday. “What about ‘im?” 

“Well… um… y’see. We… we had sex.” She whispered the last word like it was the dirtiest thing she could fathom saying. 

Your eyes blew wide and your mouth dropped open, “You what?” You whispered back in shock. 

“Shh!” She held her finger up to her lips, “He said that to bear yourself as God made his first children was to truly turn yourself to Him.” 

You were having a difficult time processing this new information. Arvin and you had both agreed that there was something off about that new preacher since the first day you met him but you wouldn’t have guessed it was anything like this. “Lenora, that makes no sense. God sees everything. He’s already seen you in your birthday suit. He doesn’t need the preacher to see it too.” 

Part of you felt bad for the way you were reacting, especially when you saw the way your best friend shrunk back a little in embarrassment. Clearly, he’d manipulated her into getting what he wanted, using her faith as a weapon for her sexual exploitation, but of course she didn’t see it like that because his words were specifically tailored to get her to believe him. Now as you said these things, though, it was becoming clearer to Lenora that she had been manipulated. 

“That’s not all…” She continued. 

You held her arm gently, “What is it?” 

Her eyes got wide with fear, “You can’t tell anyone okay? You gotta promise.” Her hand covered yours, gripping tightly to ensure that you grasped the severity of the situation. 

You swallowed hard, honestly scared by her reactions to whatever was happening. This wasn’t like sweet, simple, calm Lenora. Nonetheless, you nodded, “I promise.” 

“I think I’m pregnant.” 

You actually choked, “What? Are you sure?” This was bad. This was so bad. 

Her eyes began to well up with guilty tears, “Yeah, I am. I was pretty sick a few weeks back. Couldn’t eat nothin’ cause I kept throwin’ up. And I haven’t had that time of the month in  two months.” 

“Two months, Lenora? Shit…” You whispered, leaning back against the hay. Even before moving to Coal Creek, you came from a small town in Pennsylvania where this had happened to a few girls. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon in that particular town. Your daddy had been a doctor before he died so you’d seen more than a few cases of teenage pregnancy. For Lenora, though, this was practically unheard of. Good Christian girls don’t have babies before marriage. “Did you tell ‘im?” 

Lenora’s breath shook, “Yeah ‘nd he said I was crazy and delusional. Just imaginin’ things. Said we never did nothin’ in the car. Then he said that I had to get rid of the baby or I’d be branded as the town whore with a bastard son. Even said it’d kill Grandma from the shame of it all if anyone found out.” 

“That is not true, Lenora. None of it. You’re not a whore and it would be best for everyone if that baby inside you was a bastard. That disgusting man isn’t fit to walk the Earth we live on, let alone be a father.” It felt like the blood was rushing through your veins with full force, internally panicking about the situation. This was a big deal and, unfortunately, you weren’t sure if Lenora was emotionally capable enough to handle it alone. She’d always been quiet and lonely and an easy target for cruel people. “Are you keepin’ it?” 

Her breathing shuddered as if she’d started crying, “I can’t kill the baby inside me and go on livin’ with that. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared,Y/N.” Lenora threw her arms around you and you held her as her body rattled against yours. 

“Shh, you got me, alright? Me and Arvin. And I’m sure Grandma wouldn’t be ashamed if she knew what Teagarden did to you.” You insisted but she shook her head. 

“You must think I’m stupid for believin’ that man.” She sat up wiping her eyes with her sleeve. 

“No! I do not think you’re stupid at all. That monster took advantage of you, told you things to make you believe that his dirty, lustful thoughts were vindicated by the Lord. And he’s going to fucking pay.” You were furious now as you began to stand up, unsure of exactly what you’d do but you knew you were gonna do it. 

Lenora grabbed your arm and pulled you back down, “No! Wait! Please-” 

“What’s going on here?” Arvin opened the door with a concerned face. 

Both you and Lenora jumped at his sudden intrusion but were even more nervous about what he’d heard. 

“How much did you hear?” Lenora asked her brother, rubbing her hands on her thighs. 

He walked in and slammed the door shut behind him, kneeling down in front of you and his sister, “That someone took advantage of you and Y/N was gonna make ‘im pay. Now what happened? What’s going on?” 

This was one of the things that you’d always loved about Arvin. He had this protective nature over what he loved, ready to do anything to keep his loved ones safe, whether that was his sister, his girlfriend, or his grandmother. His brown eyes held so much sincerity and understanding for his younger sister but also fear for what had been done to her. 

When she didn’t respond right away, Arvin looked over to you with questioning desperate eyes but you chewed your lip, knowing that it wasn’t your secret to tell. Instead, you looked back over to Lenora sadly and nudged her slightly. 

“C-can you say? Please? I don’t wanna say it again.” Lenora begged you quietly, avoiding eye contact with Arvin. Though you could never truly know she felt, you tried to understand all the emotions that must have been running through her. 

Arvin met your eyes, begging you to tell him what had happened. “She’s pregnant. It’s that Reverend Teagarden’s baby. Said that he told her that the only way to get close to God was to show him her in the form of Adam and Eve. But now he’s saying that she’s delusional and that it’s not his.” 

Arvin’s temper flamed inside his chest. That explained the Reverend’s intense sermon about delusion this last Sunday. Nobody did this to his sister and got away with it. “I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking ki-” 

“Arvin please-” Lenora tried to calm him but it was a weak attempt, still trying to stay quiet so Grandma wouldn’t notice.

“No, I’ll end his life for what he did to you.” 

You watched your boyfriend reel around, hands holding onto his hat. He was livid, understandably so. 

Lenora wasn’t quite sure why she wanted to protect Preston Teagarden after what he’d done to her but she thinks it’s that she was more concerned for her brother. Besides, no matter what Teagarden had done, did he really deserve to die for it? 

“We don’t have to hurt him,” You spoke to your boyfriend, “If she wants, she can just have the baby and we’ll help raise it.” 

“But he said it’s not his and that I’ll just be considered some no-good whore. He said it’ll kill Grandma. I don’t want to kill Grandma.” She was almost crying again at the thought of their grandmother ending up six feet under because of the shame of having her as a granddaughter. 

“He said that?!” Arvin nearly yelled. 

“But what if he’s right?” Lenora thought out loud, “I couldn’t live with myself if I got rid of the baby but I can’t risk killing Grandma. Maybe it would be better if I were dead-” 

“No!” You and Arvin both said firmly in unison. You held her hand tight and Arvin knelt down again. 

He swiped his thumb comfortingly across the back of her hands, “Don’t you ever say that. We have both already lost too damn much to lose each other too, ya hear me?” 

Lenora nodded, tears falling down her cheeks when she closed her eyes. 

“Why can’t we just ruin him? You can have the baby and let everyone know what he did. Everyone will know that he’s the father and it’ll destroy his life.” Arvin suggested, all of the miserable ways this could end for the man twisting his heart in sadistic pleasure. 

You shook your head though, “No, they won’t. It’s different for girls in small towns like this. Doesn’t matter what happened, you’re still the dirty no good whore, even if you were raped. The man is treated like a victim for even having the inkling of an accusation brought up.” After a few minutes, you suggested, “Why don’t we run off. We’ll all go to a new town, somewhere where nobody knows none of us. We’ll tell ‘em that your husband died in the war, leaving you with the baby. I’ll go with. I’ll help you raise it.” 

She shook her head, “But what about Grandma and Uncle Earskell?” She did have a point. They were both getting on in age and would need more help than they already did. 

You all sat in silence for a few moments, brainstorming ideas of what to do. Eventually, Arvin looked at his sister, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

The three of you went back to the house for the rest of the night, knowing that everyone would be getting suspicious if you were out any longer. 

The three of you kept the secret quiet, barely even speaking about it to each other. You’d been doing as much research on babies in the libraries at school, which earned you quite a few disapproving looks from people who assumed that you and Arvin were expecting. You were serious when you said that you had every intention of helping Lenora and so was Arvin. 

Weeks had gone by with relatively no news. Well, that’s what the town thought at least. After finding out about what the Reverend had done to Lenora, Arvin had told you about his plan to watch him. 

The pair of you had spent several afternoons staked out near the church, watching as he went to the place of worship and then left at night. But then you started noticing a frequent visitor. Jeanette Reaster. The pair would drive off to a little secluded field and, sure enough, Teagarden would have his way with her. Though you couldn’t hear what was said, it was clear that they’d been praying beforehand before she submitted to him fully. Now, you knew Jeanette Reaster and, much like Lenora, she was the last person you’d imagine having premarital sex for the fear of being struck down by God. Whatever this man had said to them must have been real convincing. 

“Piece of shit…” Arvin leaned forward against the steering wheel of his car while you sat beside him. You both watched on as the Reverend laid the girl down and began his assault of falsely “holy” acts. 

For respect of Jeanette, you both looked away during the actual act but when you saw her ride off, Teagarden got out of his car, a bunch of fabric in his hands and sniffed them as he watched her. “That fucking perv. How does nobody know about this?” You asked, disgusted. Reaster was a good girl. She didn’t deserve this abuse. 

“We know about it.” Arvin said, putting the car in reverse, “And that’s enough.” Less than a week later, word got out that Jeanette Reaster had run off. Grandma had told Arvin and Lenora that her mother had said to her privately that Jeanette left a note saying that she was pregnant but the father refused to believe that he was the father. To spare her family the shame, she ran away and begged them to just say that they had no idea what had happened to her. That’s what her parents intended to do for their daughter’s sake but had entrusted Grandma with the secret just so they had somebody to talk to about it.

The day after she disappeared, they found her body on the side of the road just a few towns over. Nobody had any idea of what had happened except for you and Arvin. Both of you were convinced that Teagarden had murdered her to keep his secret from getting out. 

The anger that was held between you and Arvin both was unparalleled. In part, you both felt partially responsible for her death. If only you’d said something, maybe you could have saved her. But neither of you even knew she was pregnant. That monster did to her exactly what he had probably planned to do to Lenora. 

“We have to set things right.” Arvin said, sitting in his car one night with you in the woods, “That girl is dead and I can’t help but feel like it’s on me.” His head hung sadly, the weight of another death weighing on his heart. 

You shifted sideways in the seat, your jeans rubbing against the vinyl car seats. You placed a hand gingerly on his cheek, “This is not your fault. This is the evil of a wicked man.” 

“A girl is dead, Y/N. He got her pregnant and murdered her. He got Lenora pregnant and tried to convince her she was crazy. He’s taking advantage of innocent girls out here and then tying up the loose ends.” Arvin sat there, so much hurt behind his brown eyes. Then an idea dawned on him, “Do you trust me?” 

The question took you off guard and it showed but you answered honestly, “Yes.” 

** 

Perhaps being quieter in church was for the best for this particular scenario. You’d never been as religious as the rest of your family or the rest of the town, for that matter. But this morning, you found yourself on your knees by your bedside. “Lord, please forgive the things that I am about to do. Please understand that I do this with the best intentions of protecting every other girl to cross paths with Preston Teagarden and to avenge the death of Jeanette Reaster. I pray that you please forgive Arvin as well as I know he is a man with nothing but good and love in his heart. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.” 

Almost on cue, your mom knocked on the door to see you on your knees, “Arvin is out front waiting for you.” She announced with a warm smile, noticing your outfit, “You look nice, sweetie! Since when do you clean up all cute for that boy?” She teased, a loving smile on her face as you smoothed out your yellow dress that hung just below your knees. The sleeves were tight and went about halfway down your biceps. It was far from revealing with a neckline that stopped just below your collarbones but it still was tight enough to accentuate the shape of your concealed breasts. A brown belt was tied around your waist, showing off your figure. 

“Yeah, well I figured that for once I might as well dress up and do something nice.” The lie slipped out smoothly despite the racing of your heart in your chest. 

She pulled you in for a hug, “Well you tell Arvin that I want you back by nine tonight! I’ll be going over to Mrs. Hadderson’s for quilting today, just so you know, in case I’m not home when you get back.” 

You picked up your bag and pulled her into a side hug, “Alright, Mama. Love you!” You hollered, running out the door. Arvin was dressed normally, just his blue jeans and t-shirt, but he still looked great as always. 

When you slid into the passenger seat of his car, he perked up and looked over at you, “Not used to seeing you like this on any day but Sunday.” He attempted to joke but found it difficult considering what the two of you were planning on doing. 

After driving a ways down the road, he asked, “Are you sure you want to be a part of this? Because I can drop you off with Lenora and I’ll take care of this myself.” 

Looking over at him to see his eyes scanning your face for signs of hesitation, you placed your hand on his leg, “I’m not letting you do this alone.” 

Not too deep down, Arvin felt terrible for allowing you to partake in this. Death had always seemed to follow him wherever he went; he didn’t want you to be stuck with the same curse. The two of you developed a plan but Arvin had created a backup just in case you decided you didn’t want to partake, not that he would blame you. He was terrified beyond belief himself but he’d decided that for the sake of every other girl in this town and any other one’s Teagarden had harmed in the past, he had to do this. 

The only thing making him feel remotely at peace with your involvement was the fact that you weren’t actually doing the killing. You were the diversion, he was the trigger man. Arvin sighed, relenting to the fact that you were in on this, “Did you bring the rope?” He asked, eyes flicking over to you and your bag between glances at the road that moved beneath the wheels of his car. 

You dug around in your little bag and pulled out a small length of rope, a weapon chosen for the lack of clean up. “Got it. You got the gun?” 

Arvin pulled his denim jacket back just enough to show the handle of the Luger that once belonged to his father. This weapon was chosen for its reliability. Once you guys started, you had to finish otherwise he’d tell everyone. 

Before you knew it, the tires were coming to a crunching halt on the rocky sideturn just around the corner from the church. A sudden wave of nausea came over you and you had to breathe deeply to settle it down. “You okay?” Arvin asked, reaching out for you. 

You swallowed hard, “Yeah.” Sweat began to bead up on your brow as a million different images of what could happen in the next few minutes ran through your head. 

Arvin watched as you zoned out on the dashboard and he knew exactly what was going on in your mind. It was the same inner conflict he’d had this morning before picking you up, when he first pocketed the gun.  “Whatever happens today, I need you to know that I love you Y/N.” 

You sucked a quick breath in. Neither of you had ever used the L-word before. Arvin was scared to because he’d lost so many people and the fewer people he loved, that fewer people he could lose. You had just never loved anyone romantically before and were too terrified that maybe you’d say it too early or think you felt it when you really didn’t. With Arvin, though, you knew it. “I love you too, Arvin.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the lips deeply, wanting nothing more than to stay against his skin for the rest of your lives. But, unfortunately, there was something you had to do first. 

“Remember, just get him to bring you to the field. I will be there waiting. I won’t let anything happen to you, you hear?” Your faces were close together, so close your foreheads almost touched, as he went over the plan one last time, trying to make sure that you knew that you were safe as long as he was around. 

“I know.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile, though it was far from a grin of actual happiness.

Arvin watched as you got out of the car, leaving the small bundle of rope behind, and walked down the dirt driveway to the church. You looked just like someone that pervert would fall head over heels for. There was an innocent sway to your hips and the way you held your bag close to your body screamed insecurity, but the kind of a young girl who doesn’t know how beautiful she is. The funny thing was that this wasn’t something totally out of character for you. Sure, you had a mouth and fist that could dish as much as it could take, and yeah, you and Arvin had been together for almost half a year, but there was still a youthful innocence to you. There was still a brightness in your eyes and a pep in your step, one that hadn’t been beat down by the tragedies of life yet. It was one of the things that Arvin found most attractive about you but it was also one of the things that Preston Teagard would as well. 

The doors of the church were cracked open just slightly when you approached and you could see the Reverend sitting in the pews, reading his Bible, through the gap. Taking one less final deep breath, you pressed the door open and stepped in, the heels of your little white chucks padding against the hardwood. Teagard turned around at the sound, “Why, hello, there.” He greeted warmly. It disgusted you how this man could act no different after knowing what he’d just done but the worst monsters were human. 

“Uh, hi there, Reverend. I’m sorry to bother but I just needed to talk to you about something.” You began, accentuated your Appalachian drawl while trying to make your voice sound as young and innocent as you could. 

He patted the pew beside him, “Well, my child, you’ve come to the right place. That’s what I’m here for. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” 

Skin crawling as you walked, you forced your feet to move towards the man and sit beside him. Right away, his arm stretched behind your shoulders as he sat uncomfortably close. At first, you avoided eye contact, “Well, um, you see, I’ve been… straying from the light and I really want to get right with God.” 

This had to be the first truth you’d told anyone other than Arvin today. You felt too terrible lying in the presence of God so you’d found a way to genuinely get your feelings off your chest while still luring Teagarden into your trap. 

He rubbed his chin and hummed, “The fact that you acknowledge this means you haven’t strayed too far. God always comes back to his flock, even to those little sheepies who’ve gone astray. Why don’t you tell me more.” He urged. 

Your hands squeezed the strap of your bag tightly, “I… I have lustful thoughts sometimes.” 

Preston was lucky he’d had a lot of practice concealing his emotions because he’d be lying if he said that those words didn’t stir something in him, “Now are these just thoughts or have you acted on them?” 

“Oh, just thoughts, Reverend. I’ve never acted on any of them.” You reassured, finally meeting his eyes. They seemed to look at you with such understanding that you could see why Lenora and Jeanette had fallen for him. 

He nodded in approval, “And who are these thoughts about?” 

This was where you’d have to do a bit more lying, “I don’t really want to say.” You blushed bright red. You knew that Preston must have taken this as a sign that it was about him but it wasn’t. Your dirty thoughts never strayed from Arvin. 

Preston looked away and then back down at you, “You’re going with that Russel boy, right?” 

Silently, you nodded, not wanting to incriminate your boyfriend too much in this process of confession. 

“Has he ever touched you?” Preston pressed, his body getting closer to yours inch by inch until your legs were nearly touching. 

The red in your cheeks wasn’t part of the act anymore but genuine. You shook your head, “No, never.” You felt almost panicked at the question. 

“Have you ever touched yourself to these thoughts?” His voice became slower, more cautious as his inquiries got riskier and riskier. 

You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact with him anymore and looked back down at your shoes instead, just shaking your head, “No, I feel too weird. Like it’s a violation or somethin’.” 

Preston looked away, as if considering something, before turning back to you, “Can I show you some place? I find it helps me feel closer to God when I feel like I’m goin’ astray. Perhaps I could help.” 

Hook and sink. He’d fallen right into the trap. With a shy nod, you agreed sweetly, “Yeah, yeah, I’d like that. Is it far?” 

Teagard shook his head, “Oh no, not too far at all. But I’ll drive so we don’t have to walk.” 

Getting him to drive you to the spot was just as easy as you imagined it would be. With a quick glance in the rear view mirror, you noticed a car in the far distance behind you that you immediately recognized as Arvin following. Preston’s car came to a stop in the same field you’d seen him take Jeanette Reaster to a few weeks ago, facing the woods ahead. 

It really was quite peaceful and would have been a pretty sight if you weren’t with a sexual predator. Again, his arm slid around your shoulders and you breathed in deeply, the intense sexual tension making you uncomfortable even though you had every intention of finishing him off before he even got a hand up your skirt. 

“You said that Russel boy has never touched you. Have you ever shown him yourself?” The fact that this man had the nerve to ask you such questions disgusted you beyond belief but you kept up the facade. 

“Like naked?” You clarified, seeing him nod, “No, not naked. We went to the lake one time so he saw me in my bathing suit then but that’s not exactly the same thing.” 

Preston chuckled at your naivety, “No, no, not the same thing at all. You know how you’re supposed to save yourself for marriage to be right with the Lord. But there is nothing that brings you closer back to our heavenly father than to be as Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, the garden of pure paradise.” 

“How is that so?” You cranked up the childlike inquisitive nature as you looked up at him with big doe eyes. 

Preston had to fight the urge to take you here and now, looking at you like this, but he remained strong for the sake of the process. “They were made in his image. We all were but they were his original children. The pure, unaltered image of God himself, before the sin of man tainted it all. By showing yourself in your pure, unaltered image, you bring yourself closer to the light.” 

Your brows furrowed, “But didn’t you just say that premarital sex is a sin?” This may have been jeopardizing your mission but you felt inclined to point out the hypocrisy before you offed the man. 

He nodded, chest falling and rising with a heavy sigh, “It depends on who you’re with. I’m a man of God myself and I like to model myself after Jesus. I’d like to think that makes me an extension of His love and power and therefore an outlet for you to feel safe to do whatever you need to do in order to be right with Him.” 

With a shaky breath, you bit your lip, “Alright. H-how do I-?”

Preston watched as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt and let his mind wander to what else those fingers might be good at. “First, let us pray.” He reached over and held your hand, “Lord, Y/N is showing herself to you. See her Lord, as you made her. She presents herself to you. Give her strength. Amen.” 

“Amen.” You muttered after him, your fingers slowly going to unbutton your dress. This wasn’t how you’d imagined the first time a boy seeing you in your knickers going. In your mind, it had always been on a nice romantic evening with Arvin and a selfish part of you wanted it to stay that way but then you remembered why you were doing what you were doing and sucked down the reservations. At least you weren’t actually losing your virginity to the monster. 

Nervous fingers fuddled with the button for just a moment too long and Teagarden twisted sideways, hands coming to cover yours, “May I?” He offered his assistance. 

Your heart thumped so loud you could hear it but you nodded silently, letting your fingers fall onto your thighs. With deftly skilled fingers, he had your blouse unbuttoned before long and had pushed it off your shoulders. Your breath caught in your throat at this much exposure, your breasts just barely concealed under only the fabric of your bra. Lord, you prayed silently, please let this be over with quickly. 

Your eyes slid closed, trying to imagine that it was Arvin touching you instead of Preston Teagarden but then the mere thought of comparing the two made you sick to your stomach. They were nothing alike. 

A set of chapped lips kissed your forehead gently, then your cheek, and then, finally, your lips. At first, you drew back, but still kept your eyes closed, trying to mask the disgust with untouched hesitance. You forced your body to relax again and Preston took that as a cue to continue with what he was doing, his lips returning to yours. 

Wasting no time, he’d crawled over you until your back was flush against the seat. You placed your hands awkwardly and haphazardly on Preston’s shoulder’s, trying to feign inexperienced confusion. You and Arvin may not have ever gone all the way, but you’d at least gone this far. 

Preston’s lips moved down your neck and your breath got caught in your throat. As much as you hated it, he knew what he was doing. This man knew all the right buttons to push to make a nervous girl submit to his every desire and, though you were well aware of the game he was playing and had zero attraction to him, the physical reactions were almost impossible to stop. Your body shuddered when his stubble, something Arvin lacked, scratched the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes were open wide now, just waiting for your boyfriend to finally show up and save you from this situation. 

Arvin approached the car and slowly and quietly as he could. The windows were up so it wasn’t too big an issue as long as he wasn’t clanging metal but he figured he didn’t want to take any chances. When approached the driver’s window, his heart wrenched and he immediately regretted putting you in this position. 

Preston was on top of you, his hands roaming all around your semi-exposed chest. He knew that you’d never been exposed like that to anyone before and he suddenly felt sick with himself for allowing the first time to be with anyone beside him, let alone Preston fucking Teagard. 

He expected to have to psych himself up for the actual kill, to have to convince himself to do it but when you locked eyes with him, a silent plea to get the man off of you, it came unnervingly natural. With the rope already wrapped around both of his fists, Arvin reached for the handle and threw the door open, looping the rope around Preston’s neck and dragging him back out of the car. Preston’s eyes were wide with shock and fear, “What the fuck?!” He hollered in fear, the words turning to gagging and choking. His hands grasped at the rope but Arvin had it pulled too tightly. 

Preston’s body was kicking against the grass but his neck and head were pressed against Arvin’s chest, who was kneeling in the field. 

“You really thought you could get away with what you did to my Lenora? To that poor Reaster girl you murdered? And then I bet you were willing to do the same to her over there too, huh?” He seethed, notioning over to you with a flick of his chin. 

The reverend tried to say something, anything to defend himself or get himself out of this situation but Arvin never let up so the words came out as disgustingly graphic chokes. You crawled out of the car, not knowing what you could do to help or secure the situation but feeling useless now. 

In a few minutes time, his lips had turned blue and the thrashing of his body had stopped. Arvin finally let up and the body slump into the grass. He crawled back and away from the man who had only moments ago been all over you, touching you. 

That was when he remembered that you were there still. He’d gotten so blinded by rage that he almost blacked out, caught up in the task at hand. But when he looked up, his heart began to beat again and he stood up, rushing to you, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

Your face was pale and blank, almost as if you were in shock. Your top was still totally unbuttoned, white modest bra still exposed to the world but you didn’t look like you cared at all. If Arvin was being honest, this wasn’t how he’d pictured seeing you topless for the first time going. He always hoped it would be romantic and with more than enough time to compliment every inch of your perfect body. Instead, you looked scared and shocked and almost like you could be sick. 

“Y/N?” He urged, coming stand between you and Preston’s body, attempting to break your view of it. He reached down and began to re-button your blouse for you. 

“I’m fine,” You said flatly, only moving to look up at him, “Are you okay?” 

With a glance down at his knuckles, the rope burn was clear to see, but Arvin had been through much worse, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry that I let him do that. This whole idea was stupid and now-” 

“No,” You interrupted, finally snapping out of your shocked state and bringing your hands up to rest on his, which were on your chest now, “He can’t hurt anyone anymore.” 

Arvin didn’t actually feel remorse for killing the man. The only thing he wanted was to take you back home, or rather far away, where there weren’t any reminders of today’s events. He wanted to show you how special you were, how much he loved you, and how brave he thought you were for being willing to be Teagarden’s last victim for the better good of the world. 

#the devil all the time #tdalt #tdalt fics #arvin russell #arvin russel x reader #arvin russel imagines #do you trust me? #dark fics #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.6

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

ch.5 - ch.7 (finale)

~~~~~~~~~~

The air was still quite nippy and crisp, but the afternoon sun sparkled on the white snow and made the atmosphere pleasant to stand in if the Main Sequence Star was shining directly on a living organism, like it was on Stan from where he stood on the porch. He sighed tiredly as he dug into his hoodie’s pocket for a fresh cigar and lit it with his Zippo-style lighter. He knew he probably shouldn’t smoke with a kid in the house, but after the few days he’s had, he needed and had well earned a smoke-break.

The door opened and Stan hid his cigar by his side, his right arm glued to his hip to hide the newcomer on his left, but when he saw it was an adult, he relaxed and took another puff. “M’trying to quit.” He mumbled.

Ford snickered. “Yeah, it looks like you’re trying really hard.”

“Don’t be shitty.” Stan said casually.

“Mind if I lend one? I can replenish you in a few minutes.”

Stan stared at his goody two-shoes of a twin and handed him a cigar and the lighter. “You smoke?”

“Not often. For a celebration or after a long day.” Ford answered as he lit his borrowed cigar. “Maybe twice a month. Thrice?”

“Huh.”

Ford looked down at the lighter in his hand, and he was surprised when he recognized it. He can clearly remember seeing the tiny silver box in a store and thinking Stanley would like it as a Only One More Year of High-School present. “I gave this to you.”

Stan smiled as he took it back and pocketed it. “Yeah, it’s a good lighter. Only needed to change the flint a few times.”

“Hey guys!” A small voice called from inside the house. “Do you like vanilla or chocolate?”

The twins looked at each other, smiled, and called back. “Both. Both is good!”

“Both it is!”

Stan chuckled and shook his head. “Knucklehead… I knew she had to be family just by looking at her!” He bragged proudly.

“I suppose I was too distracted by the fact that a cold girl was at my doorstep to recognize the family resemblance.” Ford reasoned, shrugging. “I wanted to make sure I did the right thing. I didn’t exactly feel like getting arrested for kidnapping.”

Stan barked a laugh. “Yeah, you got a good point.” The conman yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Guess I’ll head out tomorrow.” He mentioned offhandedly.

Ford stared at him, a little saddened and disheartened by this fact that was news to him. “You’re leaving?”

“I mean, yeah?” Stan equally stared at his brother, confused and not daring to be hopeful, but still. “What?”

“I just…” Ford hesitated and busied his mouth by taking a hit of his cigar. With everything that has been said and how well he and Stan have been communicating, he really didn’t feel like ruining it now. He relaxed his shoulders and said with his eyes on the snowy woods. “I was really hoping you would stay.”

Stan looked dumbfounded, like a child discovering candy for the first time, but he looked away and down at the porch floor. “Oh.”

“I’ll of course be taking care of Mabel until Dipper comes back in time for her…”

“He might not.”

“We got over our grudges. They can do the same.” Ford said firmly. “Still, you have a point. Dipper might not be able to come back. Regardless, whether it’s for a short time, a long time, or for the rest of my life, I will take care of her. I might not be the best for her, I can acknowledge that…”

“C’mon, Sixer, don’t be like that.” Stan scolded lightly, giving a sympathetic look to the nerd. “What else can you do, y’know? There’s no way in hell you’re gonna give her up, I’ll kidnap her and run away to Canada before I let you…”

Ford laughed and waved a hand as he smiled. “No no, I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

“The point is, she loves you. Clearly. And it takes two, and I’ll be busy with my research, especially once the snow melts and the anomalies become more active in the spring and summer, but…” Ford bit his lip. This was a bad idea. If he makes it seem that the only reason why Stan needs to be here is because of Mabel, if or when she’s gone, then Stan will have no reason to stay. And there were many reasons why Ford wanted Stan to stay.

Despite how much of a social-cripple Ford was, he knew that Stan was homeless. His frequent traveling and how full his car was right now was enough proof of that. And Ford hated that for his brother.

But there was another, bigger reason why Ford wanted Stan to stay. So he better just say it.

“Do you know why I went to Backupsmore?” Ford asked.

Stan’s facial expression darkened as he looked away and he shrugged. “Cuz I fucked up your project?”

“No,” Ford answered plainly. “I may not have been accepted into West Coast Tech, but there were so many other colleges that wanted me. I could apply to Yale or Harvard or any college from New York to California and instantly be accepted.

“But I didn’t.” The author added grimly. “Stanley, when you left… When you were gone, I was a mess. So many days I just lied in bed without meals or sleep. Ma was hysterical. I failed most of my exams and only barely scraped a C in the ones I didn’t fail. My GPA dropped significantly and I even lost my Honor Roll. Thankfully my past grades were enough to let me graduate with a 3.2, but my clean record was stained and a lot of prestigious colleges didn’t want me.

“All I wanted at that point was to get as far away from Glass Shard as possible. Luckily there was a small college outside of San Francisco that practically accepted everyone and had a wide range of studies to offer, so I applied and was accepted by graduation day.”

“Good for you.” Stan grunted.

“No! The point is, I…” Ford groaned, feeling like he was failing, but he had to try. “I understand if you don’t want to stay. I understand you have your own life and things you want to do, and I can live without you again if I have to, but… I really, really don’t want to. Yes, I know that part of growing up is going in different directions and being independent and all the other bells and whistles, but it doesn’t have to be. So, if you can tolerate living under the same roof as me again, and if you’re okay with it, I want to offer you a job.”

Stan raised an eyebrow at the six-fingered man. “What kinda job?”

“The committee gives me monthly boosts so I can continue my research. As long as I prove to them once a year that progress is being made, I have a good income coming in. It is a big job, exploring the large woods, climbing mountains and waterfalls, combing the lake, mapping the Enchanted Forest, and hunting down monsters and anomalies to learn more about them. I’ve always managed to make it out of trouble alright, but… I need a partner, and I want to keep it in the family.” Ford smiled at the last sentence.

“What are you saying?” Stan sneered, not daring to believe, not daring to hope, but that stupid smile Ford had…

“I’m saying I want you to do this with me, Stanley.” Ford said matter-of-factly. “I can share the grant with you after bills are paid and groceries are purchased. We can renovate the small room on the ground floor to be Mabel’s bedroom and you can have the entire attic as your own space.

“I know it’s not sailing around the world, but… Please. Will you give me another chance?” Ford pleaded with a soft smile.

Stan grinned and shook his head. “Shit, Sixer, you’re a better salesman than me.” He looked him in the eyes. “Okay. Yes. I’ll stay.”

Ford’s cheeks puffed with happiness as he smiled, his lips pressed together, and he looked ahead, happily daydreaming his future. Being surrounded by weirdness for a living was amazing by itself; doing it with his twin and raising their niece together on top of it was better than anything he could have imagined.

Stan was watching him and laughed good-naturedly, then held out a hand to him. Ford blinked at it like a startled owl, but then returned the smile and sealed the deal with a high-six.

Both brothers stood contently outside with their cigars for a minute, but then heard a bowl clatter on the floor. Mabel must be making a mess in the kitchen, which was fine.

What wasn’t fine was the sound that followed of a body falling on the floor.

Ford raised an eyebrow and called calmly, “Mabel, are you alright?”

They both expected a quick “yeah, sorry, I’m okay,” and maybe an explanation to follow, like she tripped getting down from a chair or something. But there was no reply.

“Mabel, sweetie?” Stan hollered, trying not to sound mad or scared or anything but cool-under-pressure, but this voice trembled with fear.

Still no answer.

Ford and Stan quickly discarded their cigars and bolted inside. Racing like children for cookies, they soon stood at the doorway of the kitchen and were horrified to find Mabel sprawled on the floor on her front, her hair scattered over her face to hide her expression, and her legs and bottom-half of her body slowly fading.

Literally. Fading. Mabel was fading away. She was disappearing like a stain on cloth.

“MABEL!” The men screamed and were immediately on their knees beside her. Ford scooped her up into his arms and felt her pulse and looked over her.

“What happened to her?!” Stan cried out. “Pumpkin, what’s wrong?!”

Ford’s eyes widened in panic as a horrifying realization slapped him in the face. “Mabel… You changed history.”

The tired girl nodded with her eyes closed. “If… If you guys had a fight… and never made up… in my timeline, then I guess…” Mabel paused to yawn tiredly. It didn’t hurt, but she was really sleepy now.“I guess that timeline doesn’t exist anymore, huh? I guess I don’t exist anymore.”

“WHAT?!” Stan yelled and took Mabel’s hand and squeezed it. “We have to do something! You’re family! You’re… We can’t just let you d- not exist!”

Ford held Mabel tighter and closer to his warm chest, making her smile. She swore she could hear his heartbeat. It was too fast. She would have to fix that. Poor Ford was also shaking like a leaf. Mabel could fix that, too.

“I’ll exist.” She smiled up at her uncles. “In a few years.”

Ford bit his lip. He shouldn’t ask this, it was probably dangerous to learn about the future, but the worst was already happening. What else could possibly happen that was worse than losing his girl? Ford couldn’t help but ask, “When?”

“August 31st, 1999.” Mabel’s eyes dazzled. “You’ll meet Dipper, too.” She shifted her eyes to only Stan and whispered, “Did you know you were there? You came to see us when we were born?”

Stan’s eyes watered as he smiled at the new piece of information. “I did?”

“You did. I came out first. You were so proud when I kicked the doctor in the jaw.”

Stan made a watery chuckle and wiped at his eye. “That’s my girl.”

“Dipper came next. He was blue. Umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.”

“Was he okay?” Stan asked.

“He was fine. You knew he would be. You never doubted.”

“I never will, pumpkin. I swear.”

The fading is now much worse. It was spreading over Mabel like a virus. Her legs were hardly visible to the naked eye, and even her shoulders were losing color. This Mabel is almost completely gone. 

Ford, pressed for time, bit his lip as tears flooded his eyes and he cupped Mabel’s cheek and cradled her. “I… I can’t let you go! We just started to become a real family! Wh-What am I going to do without you?!”

Mabel smiled and used the free hand not holding Stan’s trembling hand to caress Ford’s jaw and lower cheek, then cupping his face so her fingertips grazed his sideburn. “It’s okay, really. I’ll see you again, and next time it’ll be when both of you come to see us. Totally worth it.” 

Ford held his breath, and shut his eyes, a tear escaping from each eye and sitting comfortably in the corners of his windows to his soul. Stan hiccuped a laugh and rubbed her hand between both of his. Both of them were doing everything in their power not to cry. 

To that, Mabel laughed and said, “Boys are stupid. It’s okay to cry.”

The cursed power of Mabel. Making people be honest and breaking dams.

Ford curled into his niece, his face sloe to her heart, and cried gently. He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t think he could ever be ready for this.

Stan laughed with tears streaming down his face and he kissed Mabel’s tiny fingers trapped in his hold, then held their hands close to his bowed forehead and just focused on feeling her pulse between his palms.

It only lasted another minute.

Ford was mortified when his chest sank and his arms were empty. He threw himself back and stared at his lap and felt sick to his stomach to find his little girl missing.

Stan’s hands also clasped together and he squeezed tightly, his fists against his trembling lips as he cried.

The genius who always seemed to know what to do didn’t have a damn clue what to do with himself. He growled in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, then let out a painful howl and moan that most definitely disturbed birds and made a deer or two gallop farther away.

Ford removed his glasses and held his knees, sobbing his heart out. Stan blinked his tears off his eyes, resulting in them rolling down his face, as he watched his brother completely shatter to pieces. He had seen him upset before, sure; all those years of bullying, of Pa’s outbursts and sometimes physical punishments, hopelessness that he was actually worth something. You don’t spend seventeen years with a person and not see them break every so often, granted the blessing to help them put themselves back together again.

But Ford didn’t need Stan to swoop in and fix it. There were no bullies to punch or parents to stand against or jokes to crack that would make this okay. All Stan could do was throw his arms around him and bury his face into Ford’s shoulder and cry, too. 

So that’s what they did on the kitchen floor for over an hour.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper blinked to try to see, but all he saw around him was inky blackness for miles. His heart raced as he looked around for his sister. “Mabel? Mabel! Mabel, answer me!”

The boy scrambled and collapsed out of a portable potty at the fair. He blinked his eyes rapidly to adjust to the sunlight, scurrying off his hands and knees, clutching the warm time-machine in his hands. Wendy was still admiring her price and Robbie was still sulking, and Waddles was still trying to get away from Pacifica.

That didn’t matter! Mabel was stranded back in time! But how far back?! When was Mabel?! Dipper started jamming the button, but the machine wasn’t working, and it was soon swiped from him by a black-gloved hand.

“Mason Pines,” A gruff voice commanded above him and Dipper looked up to find two new guys with that Blendin guy. The two other guys were muscular and guarded with high-tech armor. 

“You are under arrest for violating the Time-Traveler's Code of Conduct and for jeopardizing the timestream.” The man labeled as Dundgren stated as serious as death.

“Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?!” Blendin squawked. “I’m asking. I wasn’t there with you. It was probably a lot, right?”

“Wait, wait please!” Dipper begged as the two members of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent each grabbed the boy by an arm. “My sister! She’s still back there! We have to get her!”

“You have the right to remain silent.” The man labeled as Lolph informed robotically. “Anything you say can and already has been used in the Court of Time-Law.”

“Let me go, Mabel needs-...” And Dipper and the three time-travelers were blasted forward in time.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the endless space of time, Dipper was levitated off the ground by a giant baby using the power of his forehead-hourglass to trap him in a baby-blue field. Members of the the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent circled the two, and Blendin stood with his arms crossed over his chest and smiling smugly as the kid who caused so much trouble was getting what he deserved.

“You and your sister have broken the eternal laws of space-time.”

“I’m sorry!” Dipper cried out, trying to fight the energy circling him, but it was futile. “I’m sorry! Do what you want to me, just help my sister!”

“Your sister does not require help, nor do you require punishment.” Time Baby informed as he held his feet. “You are lucky the events that occurred do not change anything drastically. However, your timeline has shifted and therefore this reality’s version of you and your sister are no longer viable and will cease to exist.”

“What?!” Dipper squeaked and looked down at his body to find his legs disappearing. “No no NO! What’s happening to me?!”

“You and your twin sister will be born again on August 31st, 1999, but too many things are different in your timeline for this version of you to continue to exist.”

“W-W-What did I do wrong?! What did I change?!” Dipper cried out as his whole body was drained of color. “What changed in our timeline?!”

“Your uncles have amended their bond thirty-four years ahead of schedule. As unfortunate as this is, your sister miraculously delayed the plans of Bill Cipher by an entire millennia.”

“What uncles?!” Dipper asked, panicked as the fading reached his neck. “Who’s Bill Cipher?!”

“If you wanted the answers you sought out, you should have been patient.” Time Baby scolded. “We all get the answers we seek… in time.”

“P-P-Please!” Dipper begged as he appeared as a ghost. “Please! What did Mabel do?!”

Time Baby cruelly stayed silent, testing Dipper’s strengths, but he was dying, anyways. Might as well.

“She met the Author of the Journals. Your missing uncle.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. “Mabel…” He rasped, and then he ceased to exist.

#GF #gravity falls #gravity falls au #timestuck au #fanfiction #stanford pines #stanley pines #mabel pines #dipper pines #angst #why did i write this? #cuz fuck you that's why #I HAD TO I’M SORRY #pls don't hate me

[nymph1e]

Ahh @parasect my friend! You clearly haven't seen my post discussing how calling pro-shippers pedophiles is just a strawman argument!

See, I'll explain it to you: my post was pointing out the hypocrisy of anti-shippers. It showed a selection of works in media which broke the ridiculous rules you fellows claim to live by, and said that if you really believed that "problematic" fiction, even properly labelled as such, was truly something that shouldn't exist, you would be campaigning for these works to be banned.

And what was your witty response to my argument? "Shut up, pedophile".

Now, let's not go into the fact that pedophiles should all go to a hell I don't believe in, and how fucking disgusting it is that you claim to be crusading against pedophiles when all you're doing is attacking people who *squints at paper* don't believe in the censorship of fiction.

The "shut up you're a pedophile" argument allows for two things. First, you get to start off the conversation with a strawman argument. You get to say "ha! Checkmate" without touching a board. You get to lord over with your supposed moral superiority, and you scare other, less informed observers into taking your side. Because no one sides with a pedophile.

Then the argument turns into the argument you want it to be because instead of talking about the logical argument I made, I now have to say I'm not a pedophile, and you get to dig in. "Of course you're a pedophile - you support kiddie porn!" You spit back - another straw man argument, because now I have to explain that while I don't like under-age fic, it is not in fact, kiddie porn.

What does that have to do with my original post? What does that have to do with your hypocritical crusade against mostly-female or queer fic writers creating fic you don't like? What has this got to do with anything?

Because no matter how good and righteous it makes you feel to call me one, I am not a pedophile. It's a simple fact. I have been openly and vocally against paedophilia multiple times on this blog.

You're a disgusting, hypocritical, self-serving, morally righteous, internet pig. You don't actually give a shit about the real world impact of fiction because otherwise you would be campaigning to get censorship laws changed, you would be campaigning to ban the works of fiction I mentioned. You just have a knee jerk reaction to things you dislike on the internet, and instead of just avoiding it, you decide that you, the morally superior conservative-minded "liberal" need to clap back and bully others for your own pleasure.

If you're still confused, look up the alt-right handbook playlist on YouTube. You'll find some scary similarities between your tactics and those of the alt-right.

#anti censorship #pro shipping #shipping discourse

[perse-persecution]

more dream smp skin symbolism

I can go on and on about this, and so I will! I’ve already talked about how Tommy, Sam, Dream, and Quackity have skins that highlight who they are, especially in the prison. But it’s not just them that have this, it’s almost everyone in the SMP!

Some characters have stayed fully human throughout the SMP, never gaining wings or scars or anything that was permanent, like Tommy or Tubbo, or even Niki, really. There are others too! (Tubbo really was just hurt emotionally, he stayed human even though he made bad choices, and never really went too far[I’m counting Ghostbur as a human even though he was see-through because it’s Ghostbur. His skin is a ghost.]) And some characters have inhuman traits like wings (this is only Phil but y’know) or horns, or they just don’t have any human attributes on them except for their faces.

And some just have glasses that hide their faces, or roses that change color. Or a mask!

Niki- You might call me out, saying that ‘Niki wanted to murder Tommy with Jack and has no inhuman traits, so your idea is flawed!’ but Niki got over it. Niki is baking again, Jack burned his house down. Niki may not be Tommy, but she’s never gained horns or covered her face.

Jack- Jack has his headset and that comes with glasses, and that hides his eyes. That’s what makes him inhuman to me, and we never see his eyes. He’s always hidden from everyone, even slightly, and he’s not human. His response to Tommy’s death is great and very human, celebrating and then realizing it really wasn’t what he wanted-but then again, he still clawed his way back from hell through pure spite and anger. That is not human.

Eret- Eret has glasses as well, hiding their face, and that plays well into the ‘never meant to be’ bit, but might not work in the long run, but it still does! Eret is still lost in the past, really, trying to make up for it. He’s built a museum and wrote books upon books and apologized so many times, but the glasses are her way of keeping the betrayal with them, always reminding them of the fact. They aren’t human, they’re still trying to make up for battles long gone through keeping the past from being long-gone, and such they are the past.

Hannah- Hannah definitely isn’t human, the roses on her arms changing colors and being attached to her being the main reasons why, though there is still some symbolism even with that. With the Egg, Hannah tried to fix the egg with roses, taking stacks and stacks with her. She tried to give them to it, and was trapped in a hole. The symbolism here is that Hannah uses nature to fix her problems, and fixes the nature that’s wrong (fixing the server!!) and adds to it in ways that pleases her (all the red roses). She tries to fix everything with them, and when they all turn against her she goes with them into the Egg’s control.

Badboyhalo- The devil skin is a bit literal, considering the events of the Egg, but it still works before that too! Bad’s always been the ‘devil’ to Tommy and maybe Quackity I guess, shouting at them when they curse and never playing into some bits. But when the Egg takes control, the red accents on his skin turn white, and that shows that he feels like he’s doing the right thing, that it’s all to help Skeppy, but the devil skin shows that’s it’s not, and he’s the real devil here.

Skeppy- Speaking of Skeppy, he’s always been just a diamond with a derpy face, and that sums up everything that Skeppy did before the Egg perfectly. He’s bright and pretty sharp, in some ways, but but still hilarious and comedic to a fault. Diamond with a derpy face. But then the egg came along, and one, changed his skin from blue to red, and two, got rid of the highlights that made the diamond itself pop. There’s much, much more red on him that any of the server members, Ant, Ponk, and Punz just getting red eyes, and Bad having none at all, the red on him turning white. It makes sense for Skeppy, the one with the most red, to be the most under the Egg’s control, and for Bad, who has no red, to be angry at Skeppy, later, for spending so much time with it. But the highlight removal made Skeppy look just like the Egg. Made him pretty much just fade into it, become one with it. The derpy face is still there, though, symbolizing Bad’s hope for the blue Skeppy to come back, though the rest of Skeppy seems to symbolize the opposite.

Technoblade- Techno has always been an anarchist in royals garb, and throughout everything on the server it shows that he has one goal (anarchy) and he will do everything to get it, even be used as a tool and ‘just as the blade’ (the Red Banquet) (also being in royals garb). He’s inhuman because though he has had character development, from mocking Quackity at his execution setup even though it was, like, his execution setup, to complimenting Sam on the prison, even though he knew it was a trap. Even though he claims to be closed off, he’s become such great friends with Ranboo and cares too much about Carl and his wolves than he says he does. He calls Dream a sentimentalist, but even though he knew he would be getting out of the prison, he still gave hope to Dream by means of the toilet. That shows another part of his inhuman-ness. He’s a pig. Pigs are friendly, sensitive, and intelligent, according to Google, and this fits Techno well. He tries to give hope to Dream, was friends with Tommy, is friends with Phil, Ranboo, and Niki, and that goes into the next bit. Sensitive. Technoblade is very sensitive to being used just as the blade, and it goes vice versa as well. He was genuinely touched when the Syndicate through him a birthday party and Ranboo gave him the new axe to replace his last one. He’s also very intelligent, using a Totem to get out of death and collecting mass amounts of withers ‘just for decoration...for now’.

Ranboo- Ranboo is pretty easy, like c’mon. Enderwalk and Ranboo, the white side and the black side. Easy. BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. The white side is more commonly as the friendly side (even though enderwalk is just Ranboo with different motivations) and yet the white side has a red eye, a color that literally gets people riled up. It shows that even when Ranboo is not in Enderwalk, he’s not happy-go-lucky. There’s something dangerous with him, and Wilbur picked up on this! He didn’t want to talk to Ranboo, comparing him to ‘the weird neighbor kid’ who ‘had something in his basement’ and was ‘going to put a spatula right through my skull!’. There’s something off about Ranboo even when he’s not Enderwalking, and that’s shown by his red eye and what people like to refer to as tear scars on that side of his face (even though the enderman side would be the one burned by it) But speaking of Enderwalk, the black side has a green eye, Tubbo’s color, and the color that is used as friendship a lot. It shows that, for Ranboo, Enderwalk isn’t some evil being, he isn’t plotting to kill people, he might be meeting with Dream, but so was Techno! And he’s not inherently evil. And Wilbur adores Dream! And Ranboo stated that he wasn’t inherently evil. Enderwalk is just Ranboo with different motivations. He was Enderwalking through the whole Disc War finale, holding his fourth book, but made no move to help Dream-but he made no move to help Tommy and Tubbo. (Enderchest was also in Dream’s possession vault, so Ranboo obviously wasn’t fully trustworthy to Dream) He stared up at Dream as he rose to go to prison, but that was it. And Enderwalk Ranboo was also at the Banquet! He was holding an axe at some point (maybe when the lava came down, I can’t remember) but he never interfered. He was just up on the balcony. Ranboo wouldn’t interfere either, he’d be to scared too, he’s a people pleaser. Techno, Quackity, and Purpled aren’t. Enderwalk isn’t Ranboo in what he does, as Ranboo doesn’t really remember it, but they are the same in their reasonings and how and when they would do something.

Phil- Phil had wings in the first moments when he joined the server, and then protected Wilbur with them and so they were damaged. Phil had a very warped idea of what had gone on before he came through Wilburs lies, and I feel his inhuman-ness spans from that, and the fact the he kept that warped idea and went too far with it. He thought that Wilbur didn’t want L’manburg to exist, because he thought that Wilbur won the election, and so even after he was dead, and after the whole Butcher Army, Phil’s instinct (as well as Techno’s) was to just blow it up, get rid of it, because that was what his son wanted and it would send a message to the people. He said himself, to Jack, that he started blowing up countries when he was forced to kill his own son, but he could have stepped away there, because Wilbur really wasn’t the constant in the situation. Wilbur hadn’t chosen to blow up the country because he didn’t like it anymore, he was going to blow it up because Schlatt ruined it for him, and that Phil didn’t understand. That’s why he’s inhuman, since he chose to kill Wilbur, he wasn’t forced. Phil’s gone against peer pressure and orders before when he saw that they were wrong, and that was also by a relative, Fundy. He loopholed his way out of house arrest, he could have jumped away from Wilbur, or just put him in stone so he wouldn’t die. He’s inhuman because he made choices that were because of events that didn’t exist, because he was living in an alternate world, really.

Wilbur- Wilbur doesn’t have inhuman features. A clear face, no scars, and a beanie. His jacket and morals have rotted in the dark, but he’s still pretty human, though his opinions on Dream and L’manburg change every second. The white streak in his hair is supposed to represent stress, I think, and well, it’s Wilbur. He made a fancy revolutionary outfit and never washed it once, because he was too devoted to L’manburg to let go of it, or anything connected to it, for a single second. Then came Pogtopia, where he ditched everything in favor of clothes that blended in with the cave walls. He insulted the revolutionary outfit, and kept the trench coat until he died. Then, Revivebur had the bandage across his arm because he ran to the train too fast, showing how desperate Wilbur was to get out from death. He’s changed so much, and his changes are real, unlike Dream’s, as Dream has kept the same skin, but Wilbur hasn’t. He’s changed physically, and has gotten more and more torn outfits every time.

Ponk- He has a face mask that hides everything but his eyes, and I feel that shows his way of making sure you never know if he’s joking about something or not. He joked about how much time Sam spent with him, even though Sam hated the egg, and still tried to keep a keycard even after Sam was going to chop of his arm (and did so) for them. He has a chaotic nature to everyone, trying to prank Foolish right now and wearing red contacts only so the Eggpire would leave him alone. He made a Road Trip joke as his toast at the Banquet, and it was totally in character! His mouth being hidden makes it so that he can be joking and you’ll never see it coming.

Schlatt- The-the guy has horns. He’s a goat. Loud, (the EMPEROR of the GREAT NATION) cross eyed, (Schlatt is drunk for his introduction and his death, he is totally cross eyed). I’ve also seen people put him down as a ram, and that reckless ‘they want me to get them president, I’ll be my OWN president!’ and then tearing down the walls, executing Wilbur and Tommy, things that were so surprising and came out of nowhere they just about-they jus-they just rammed into us head on! He’s inhuman because he wants to be powerful (the BIg Man Gym) and wants to use the people around him to show his power, and is so reliant on them that he has no power at all.

Fundy- He’s a fox, and ha been compared as a ‘backbiter’ and ‘foxheart’ many times, and while those are viable ways to go, other parts on his skin, earlier, show some other things. In L’manburg, Fundy was the only person who had a different outfit from the others (at that time) and didn’t get any position in L’manburg at the end of the war, just being called Wilbur’s ‘little champion’. He had a crayon suit, and wasn’t respected by Wilbur at all, and when Schlatt came along and finally seemed to recognize him as someone who was valuable, Fundy shed the revolutionary garb quick, burning and building and leaving Niki quick as well. He might not be constantly switching his skin, like Wilbur, but after L’maburg he never was on aside for long enough to get a uniform other than L’manburg, his regular skin, and the aprons for the Butcher Army. He’s a fox that switches boat, and that makes him inhuman because everyone else is firmly on a side, against sides as a whole, or the thing everyone hates and is on his own side (Which is Dream).

Karl- Karl is very human, as he has a funky sweater and a normal human skin. But that skin changes when he gets back from time travelling, and when he is in the Tales. He’s like a chameleon, his skin fitting the environment in the Tales and the Inbetween, but the important bit is that when he gets back to the present he’s a very bright, multicolored blob. In the Inbetween he has an all white skin, in the Other Side it’s all black, and in the Masquerade specifically he kept to blues and purples, I think, as those were the colors his mask was. Him being a chameleon in the Tales also fits well with how he just fits right into the story, like an added fisherman, or a cameraman, or just another guest-the only ones he doesn’t fit in with are the ones that are closely tied with the real present. The Haunted mansion had Connor and Glatt in it, and Karl really just interrupted their fun. In The City That Went Mad, Karl was the narrator, and The City That Went Mad has been mentioned SO many times, Quackity being a descended from Helga and Ponk being descended from Jack the potato farmer. In the present, Karl stayed with Schlatt through the Pogtopia era after being the judge of the debate, and I have no idea why other than because he didn’t know what to do.

Purpled- Purpled is pretty much implied to be an alien, but for all skin measures he looks perfectly human, ignoring that everything he wears, and his eye color, is purple. I like Purpled, and the fact that he switched sides the same way Punz did, and used almost the same words Punz did, but he’s still so much different and more human? In a way? Than Punz, in how he reacts to being called a hero by Foolish, or joining Pogtopia the second he was going to be killed, since Manburg didn’t line up to his ideals anyways. Purpled isn’t the hero, he’s really just a background character for most of the lore, coming up a couple of times, but he’s not really too important, and he and Quackity know this, Quackity used it against him to try and get him to join Las Nevadas! He tries his best to be a hero and always falls short, not being able to save Foolish, having to join Las Nevadas, and that’s what makes him inhuman, because he’s trying. He tries his best to be the good guy, unlike Tommy, really, right now. Tommy knew breaking into the prison to kill Dream wasn’t the right thing to do, he said it himself! Tommy said he didn’t want to be a hero in response to Techno, but he’s still the protagonist. Purpled is trying, and we’re starting now to see that in full, and see how inhuman he really is because it’s not paying off.

Punz- Punz is like Purpled, until he’s not. He was hired to Manburg to fight for Schlatt and he did! He did fight for Schlatt, and had no qualms with it. He betrayed Dream to help Tommy and Tubbo, and then joined the Egg. He’s not the most human character, despite looking it, and he’s quite inhuman in the fact that he’s never been the hero. He was bribed by Tommy to help give him pearls and blaze rods in the first disc skirmish, and now was bribed to save them from Dream one last time! Punz wouldn’t do that if Tommy hadn’t given him money, he would have stayed neutral, and I feel that shows his inhuman-ness.

I’ll be doing Puffy, Connor, Calahan (maybe), Alyssa (maybe), Antfrost, and others as well as some more analyses soon!

#dsmp #c!karl #c!punz #c!purpled #c!philza #c!ponk #c!schlatt #c!hannah #c!ranboo #c!wilbur #c!techno #c!skeppy #c!badboyhalo #c!jack manifold #c!niki #c!fundy #c!eret #rambles

[lewis-winters]

Some additional dæmon!au headcanons, a continuation of this headcanon list.

Ok so I thought about it some more and decided to change Dick's dæmon from a Caracara to a Gyrfalcon. Still a raptor, but a larger one that has, historically, been used in falconry and hunting and is, in some European countries, a symbol of patriotism and national pride. Dick's daemon is a female, silver-streaked Gyrfalcon that settled sometime after college but before Fort Benning. Her name's Anahida, and she speaks like a queen. Like, literally, I imagine her voice sounds a lot like Helen McCrory's (gee, I wonder why). She's very large and eye catching, but she only speaks when spoken to-- which is rare. In a society as repressed as 1930s - 1940s America, I imagine speaking to another person's dæmon would be seen as rude or taboo. Because of that, Anahida barely speaks and thus, people often forget she's there. There are rumors too, that Dick's the son of a witch, because Anahida likes to fly far above and at a distance, farther than any human-dæmon bond should go. However, it isn't true. They just practiced a lot growing up. Dick's always wanted to fly, in some way or another, and practicing as well as testing how far they can both stretch from each other was their afternoon play time. It's weird. I know. But this is Dick we're talking about. Of course he'd do something like this.

Anahida is the only one allowed to berate Dick when he's being exceptionally petty or self-righteous. She keeps him in check. It never happens often, but it happens enough. Other than that, they're right as rain and very in-sync with each other.

Is anybody surprised that the only other person who will ever address Anahida directly is Lewis? Show of hands? None? Yeah, me too.

Liebgott's dæmon's name is Chaya and, after some pondering, I've come to the conclusion that she's a Bat-eared fox. Very chatty, too. She and Lieb are very blunt, but she's arguably the blunter one of the two. Where Lieb sometimes gives into the urge to hide or repress feelings, Chaya is willing to take more risk. She does this thing where she will boldly go one way, the way she knows is good for them both, stretching their bond even to its thinnest and most painful, just to get Lieb to finally concede and agree with her. They're both stubborn as all hell, that's the problem. Sometimes Lieb will deny himself things for a myriad of reasons. Chaya has no such qualms. She loves him, but she definitely thinks he's an idiot sometimes. It also sometimes extends to how Lieb gets really soft around people he cares about. In the wild, male Bat-eared foxes are the more nurturing of the young, while the females are the ones who go out and hunt. Kind of the same with Lieb and Chaya. Lieb takes care, he hovers and forgets that boundaries exist-- his own, and the person he's taking care of. But Chaya's the kind who remembers, and reminds Lieb that sometimes you can't give all of yourself away, no matter how much you want to. Does that make sense?

(Disclaimer: I gotta admit. The reason why I hesitated with Lieb was because I didn't want to accidentally be anti-Semitic. I grew up in a country that is primarily Christian and Muslim so I am only familiar with Islamophobic visual vocab, not so the anti-Semitic ones. I had to make sure the animals I assigned a Jewish man's literal soul to were not anti-Semitic or used in anti-Semitic imagery by Nazi propaganda in any way. So. Yeah. Um. Pigs, goats, lizards/reptiles, rats, rodent-adjacent, or any animal seen as "pests" or "vermin" were immediately struck out. Nope. Let's not.)

You wouldn't know it at first glance, but Web and his raven dæmon have a very intense love-hate relationship. Annabelle is a very act-first, introspection-never kind of thing. Web is the opposite. Sometimes, Annabelle will act before Web himself will, and she can be very, very vicious. Because of this, Web is afraid of her and Annabelle resents him. They never fight in public, they largely ignore each other, but often when they get into it... well. It gets almost... a bit too violent. Some of the others have never seen a human and a daemon hurt each other until they’ve met these two. Sometimes, Annabelle often thinks that she’s somebody else entirely, a completely different entity from Web, and sometimes, Web thinks she’s a changeling. That maybe some fae or other switched his real daemon out for this cursed one. It’s a really fractured, complicated relationship.

When they’re on the same wave length, though, they’re scary. The only thing they can seem to agree on is passionate and impulsive anger. Web will always regret it afterwards whereas Annabelle is always smug about it. They calm down after the war and they’re back home. During the war, though, they’re both a mess.

Joe Toye’s daemon is a doberman pinscher named Alessia who is just about as quiet and solemn as her human. Classic soldier daemon. He calls her Al for short. When he loses a leg, she doesn’t. I don’t think amputation in the daemon world works that way, at least not according to Pullman’s original text. Going back home with her after his amputation is easier because she’s there to encouraged him and hold him up when necessary. They make a good team. They share similar fears and insecurities so it’s easy for the both of them to understand each other and help each other through it.

Pat has a little american robin as a daemon. Which is really funny, honestly. Big tough guy like Pat, you’d think he’d have a big tough daemon for sure, but that’s not the case with him. He’s always been gentle and unassuming, Pat and so is his daemon. Her name’s  Aoibheann (pronounced ay-veen). She likes to sit on his shoulder and rarely flies far away from him. When they jumped, she stayed inside his jacket at all times, tucked away and close. The only time she flies is later on at peace time, when she knows they’re both safe and she can leave Pat for a few minutes without it being too much trouble.

Johnny’s daemon is a mongoose named Corentine, but he calls her Cora. She’s fiesty. Sobel’s rooster daemon, Julius, wasn’t very fond of her. In fact, he was downright frightened of her. It’s why Sobel won’t mess with Johnny. It’s really funny.

Perco’s daemon is in the same family. A weasel. A tiny little thing he can hold in both his hands. Her name’s Jackie. I have no idea why. But it fits.

Ralph Spina’s daemon is a raccoon. It’s adorable. His name’s Nimaphael. But he hates it and everybody just calls him Nim. Ralph carries him around like a baby on a sling, strapped to his chest. Unlike Harry and Saoirse, you can tease them about this. They’re aware it looks ridiculous. They also don’t care.

Bull’s daemon is a sun bear. I know. I didn’t see this coming, either. But I thought about it and... honestly? It fits. Not to mention Bull’s pretty big. He can carry her no problem. Her name’s Xanthia, by the way. And she’s very sweet, if only a little gruff in showing affection. She’s also not afraid to do what needs to be done. If she needs to have a go at an enemy’s daemon, then you know she’ll do it. She definitely isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. It scares the replacements for awhile, until they realize that she only does it to protect her own. 

I finally figured out what Merriell Shelton’s daemon is-- it’s a Jaguarundi. It’s a wild cat that looks to be a mix between a house cat and a mongoose. They’re fascinating and they hiss. A lot. It’s a perfect fit. Again, he name is Charlotte, but he calls her Lotte. Imagining them swaggering down the streets of 1940s New Orleans appeals to my aesthetic sense so much I cry just thinking about it.

BONUS:

Kitty Grogan’s daemon is, not surprisingly, a cat. But not a domesticated one. He looks like it at first glance, but he’s not. He’s an African Wild Cat and he’s a sarcastic little shit named Xaphania. Xaph for short. Send me a wink if you understand that reference.

#dæmon au #band of brothers #dick winters #joe liebgott #david webster #joe toye #pat christenson #johhny martin #frank perconte #ralph spina #bull randleman #kitty grogan #the pacific #merriell shelton #bob hcs #bob aus

[thebestestboyo]

Based on @loveceit 's P!ATD Prompts!

"I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon chiffon skirt."

Or

As I like it call it:

How Remus Ended Up Working For Patton

Masterpost

(Warning of: Drug mentions/alcohol/drinking, Remus making bad decisions)

(if I need to tag anything else, please do tell me)

As the resident disaster man of the Driftwood apartments, it was common for him to come stumbling into the complex at insane times of night and early morning, out doing who knows what. Remus himself only remembers half of his ventures, often told to him by his roommate Vee, or known by most, Virgil.

Most times, he'd come home around two in the morning. Four was much more rare. And very occasionally, he'd show up at nine, passed out in front of the door, due to him being so exhausted that he couldn't even take his keys out. But no matter what he did, or how long he stayed out, he'd always come back. While it was always followed with a killer headache and potentially some injuries, he always came home. Sorta like a stray cat that you're not really sure exists when you aren't looking at it.

Yeah. He was that kind of person.

At this point, Vee was just focused on making sure he made it back in one piece. The two of them had been friends longer than either of them could ever remember, and if Virgil had to babysit Remus sometimes, it wasn't as if it was anything out of the ordinary.

So, when he had the time (and the patience), he'd go out with him, mostly to make sure he didn't pick too many fights with the gangs or their city. Downtown especially was the worst place to be when it was dark out, they were like hyenas, just waiting for someone to set them off. Vee kept him out of that area, and usually, back by eleven if he was lucky.

As much as Remus loved his childhood friend, the fact that he needed someone to look after him often rubbed Ree the wrong way. He was an adult after all, he should be able to keep himself out of trouble well enough right?

Wrong.

Now, it wasn't as if Remus didn't know that it was dangerous, but this particular night, he just didn't care. Pent up from work and needing to go out somewhere, he struck up all his usual places to unwind, but nothing was working like it usually did. Not even the weird scientist's lab on 24th Street! And he let Remus play with pig intestines! That usually always cheered him up!

So, like any force of nature, Remus decided to head downtown. He knew Vee thought it was dangerous going this late, but it wasn't like Remus was drunk or anything! And Virgil wasn't home either! So if he got back home ok, he'd never know!

These thoughts were what kept him from internally combusting (an interesting thought, Ree wondered what it would feel like) over the idea that Virgil would be worried about him doing this. It was flawed logic, but he wasn't exactly known for his straightforward thinking.

His attention was drawn almost immediately to the bright, dizzying lights of a bar, the neon sign spelling out 'What Do We Have Beer?' It was cheesy, and stupid, and yet, he couldn't NOT stop at a place that had a pun right in the title!

Stepping in, he didn't flinch at the reek of alcohol, nor the too-loud thump of the bass at the edge of the dancefloor, and not even the people practically eating each other's faces off in the dim corners of the bar. What did catch his eye, was a curly-haired man sitting on one of the edges of a table, his eyes closed as he listened to the music.

Now on any other day, he wouldn't have been drawn to this man. On any other day, he'd have probably looked past him to go cause havoc on the dancefloor, or sip something much too strong for him at the bar. And yet, today wasn't a typical day. So, he indulged himself in this man's company.

That was his first mistake.

The guy didn't open his eyes at Remus's approach, too enraptured in the music, which gave Ree plenty of time to take his image in. He seemed out of place in this loud club, his skirt, what Remus assumed to be chiffon (if Vee's fashion rambling served him correct), flowed down to his knees, while his sweater was clearly handmade, as evident from the several loose stitches in the material. It was odd, seeing someone so innocent-seeming in this sort've place. Though, Remus had seen much more naive-looking people in clubs, going nuts for a high.

"Can I help you kiddo?"

It was jarring to hear the guy talk to him, especially with that voice. Why was it so sugary? Who the hell calls a grown man kiddo??? This guy couldn't be older than twenty five! Not that Remus was much older, barely twenty six as it was.

"I'm not sure yet! First time coming here and I'm not exactly amazed." It seemed to Remus like any other nightclub, minus several guards and Remus having sneaked several seagulls in moments before. (Even Dee was impressed by how silent they were until Remus let them go and terrorize the guests.)

"Oh? Is it not intoxicating enough for you?"

"Mm, nah. Mine usually includes more chaos." Remus stared off at the dance floor, before realizing what exactly Patton had said. "Did you just make an alcohol pun?"

"Yep! I'm surprised you heard over the music! It's bass-ically deafening with how loud it is."

This time Remus noticed, laughing as he leaned against the wall next to the guy, intrigued. "You like puns huh?"

"How pun-ctual of you to notice!"

"So what's a bunny rabbit like you doing with a bunch of pirahnas? This doesn't seem too much like a thing you'd be too into."

"Mm, it's good for a business point of view. Get to know people, you know?"

"Usually my getting to know people ends up with something going haywire, like...oh! Like that one time I got a bucket of squid ink and I was planning on dumping it on this one assbutt's car, but I ended up getting it all over myself instead. So I decided, why waste perfectly good squid ink, and just threw myself into his car instead! Vee made me take a shower before I could touch anything after. "

The guy glanced up at him in confusion, but he wasn't scared off yet, so this was considered a success in Remus's book. "Squid ink?"

"Yeah! My nerdy pal Lo gave it to me! He was studying something or another with squids, and he didn't have any use for it after, so I got it! It dyed my outfit grey!"

This time was even more successful, considering he laughed at Remus's antics, and prompting Ree to continue on his train of thought. "Why was he studying squids?"

"Well, I think it was because squids can change colors, and he wanted to see if that could be replicated. I think it would be more interesting if the tentacles could be grown on humans! Imagine, you could do so much..."

Remembering that this guy didn't even know his name, he elected to change that immediately. "My name's Remus! I should have started with that actually."

"Patton!"

"No! I'm Remus!"

"No, I mean, my name's Patton!" He smiled, giggling again at him. It was almost mesmerizing to listen to, even if it was soft under all the background noise. "Its nice to meet you!"

Remus had to pinch himself to snap out of staring directly at Patton's mouth, enchanted by his smile. "Nice to meet you too. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure! I know the bartender actually, so we can go together!" Grabbing Remus's arm lightly (and nearly causing to jump at the easy touch), he led him over to the counter, his hand still resting on Ree's arm even when the two of them had sat down. "Can I get a blueberry mocktail please? Remus what do you want?"

"Mm...surprise me."

That was his second mistake.

Remus wasn't exactly sure what was in the drink, but it got him feeling fuzzy, and that's all that mattered. "So how do you know this place?"

"My brother has business deals here, so he started bringing me along sometimes."

"Business deals? What sort've business would have place in a club?"

Stirring his drink with the straw, Pat looked off into the haze of people. "Oh, just normal stuff."

"That's pretty vague Patty."

It was clear he didn't want to talk about it, even as Remus continued to get drunker (despite his previous ideas). "Well, it's boring! I'd rather play a game than talk about business!"

"Aaaaaand what kind of game would that be?"

"A bet."

Nearly snorting his drink in surprise, Remus burst out laughing. "A bet?"

"You heard me!"

"Sorry, it's just-" He gestured to how out of place Patton looked, his eyes glinting with mischief. "What sort've bet were you thinking? Is someone gonna end up puking or attacked by rabid animals by the end of it?"

"Mm, depends on how well you can hold your liquor. I bet you can't beat me in a drinking game. Winner gets to choose his prize."

"You're on."

That was his last mistake.

Remus lost. By a lot. For the guy who ordered a mocktail right off the bat, he definitely wasn't a lightweight.

"I, I gotta say-" Remus was bent with his head against the table to steady himself. "I am surprised!"

Patton was a giggly mess even in spite of winning, leaning into Remus. "Yep! You-" His sentence was cut off by a hiccup, in which caused another fit of giggles. He didn't even seem to notice that his sweater sleeve was slipping off his shoulder, or that he had somehow lost one of his sandals.

Remus sat up dizzily, attempting to fix the sleeve, only to remember too late that his motor skills weren't exactly in the best conditions while drunk, so it was more like Remus fell into Patton instead, causing the two of them to tumble to the ground. It was a good thing that it wasn't too far of a drop, but even so, Remus was pressed into Patton in an awkward position.

A stern voice interrupted the two of them before Remus could get his thick tongue to apologise to Pat, edged with something sharp.

"Patton...what are you doing on the floor with this...man?"

"Oh hey Dee Dee! How was your-" he wiggled his eyes playfully, clearly showing this Dee how drunk he was. "-meeting?"

"It went fine, but I don't think the best use of your time is getting drunk with random men at the club while I'm working."

"He's, not random!" Patton had by now began to play with Remus's hair, not even bothered by the fact that the two of them were still on the floor. "His name is, Reeeemus. He's my new friend! I won him!"

Even though Remus was drunk, he could still tell that it was probably not the right way to explain how they ended up there to this big, probably dangerous guy. He couldn't see much of him considering his head was resting on Pat's chest, but his boots looked awfully nice.

"I like your boots."

This...Dee? Was it Dee? Snapped his attention down to Remus, picking him up easily by the back of his collar. "So you won this...mongrel? In a bet I suppose?"

Pat was too busy trying to grab Remus back to be paying attention, so Remus got a face full of Dee's words. "I suppose he could be useful...fine. You can keep him for now." There was a sudden pinch at Remus's ear, and he could feel something metal dangling from what seemed to be a new piercing??? Wtf???

"You're too drunk right now to be of any use though. Pat do you know where he lives?"

"On a mountainnnnn with fairies and unicorns!"

"Ok so that's a no."

Remus felt he ought to be part of this conversation, considering that this Dee was asking about him, after rudely lifting him up. "Why do you wanna know tall guy?"

"Oh you can still speak. That's good. Tell me where you live and you can go back there to do whatever it is you do to not be drunk."

"I ain't telling you! You don't know it's Driftward....wait that's not right. Driftwand? Drift...drift..."

"Driftwood?"

"Yeah! You don't know it's there! And that's how it's gonna stay!"

Unfortunately, this plan did not go as Remus intended, because sooner than the drop of a hat, he was put in a car along with Pat, driven to his complex, and left out by the entrance. When he tried to look back and see exactly what this Dee guy looked like, he could only see Patton, waving to him drunkenly through the window, before Remus blacked out.

He was having a lovely dream about gore and destruction when a sudden voice caught his attention. Or, well, tried to anyways.

"Remus?"

"Hey, Remus."

The sound was annoying to what he assumed was the beginning of a headache, so he tried to tune it out.

"Remus wake up."

Was it his alarm clock? No...his alarm clock didn't scream his name to wake him up...and it usually didn't sound so pissed off.

"Ree!"

Aaaand now he was awake he supposed. "Yeah...?"

Virgil stood above him, hands on his hips. "Where the fuck were you??? I come home and you aren't here until five hours later? And did you go and get a new piercing? And...throw up on the front step of our apartments?"

His memory was still pretty fuzzy due to how much alcohol he drank, so he seemed just as surprised as Virgil was that he was in this situation. "Hey, quiet down if you could. My head hurtssss."

"Your head wouldn't hurt if you weren't out however late. Seriously though, where were you?"

His hand went to his temple, trying to soothe the pounding in his head. His fingers caught on something jangly, surprising him. "What the-"

It was definitely a new earring. Gently attempting to take it out, he looked at the words on the dangling part, confused. "Who the hell are the Andacondas?"

Virgil stiffened, seeming scared. "Remus, what did you do?"

"I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt?"

#ts remus #ts patton #gang au #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides #ts deceit #intruality #remus being remus #drug mentions #alcohol mention #ts virgil #platonic intruxiety #platonic moceit

[starkerdayss]

                                          A DROP OF POISON

It just never occured to them that they would have to deal another Tony, specially one so... young and indecent.

Words: 2,3k

Soon on AO3: @/tinygiantsam (link will be added)

When the sun started to come out of the horizon, Peter knew it was time to get up. He had been scrolling through his Instagram feed for two hours now, and even if he had known he could’ve gone back to sleep, this was the only time where he could be at peace. Everybody thought he was asleep, and he had no obligations with the world.

His curtains were a heavy red that made the sunlight look very orange. It stained his face and his room, and it didn’t matter how many places he met, how many hotels he stayed in, how many moments he shared with people that he loved, this precise moment was always going to be home for him.

A door opened in the distance and that was it. The start of a new day. Aunt May was up and ready to cook breakfast.

A sigh left Peter’s mouth as he touched the little green app on his phone, searching for Tony’s number, then slowly typing the phrase: “Good morning, handsome” and pressing send. It was read within seconds, but before receiving a reply, he pushed the covers out of his body and stood up, leaving his phone facing down on his little black nightstand, the yellow phone case seeming way too bright for the dismal colors of his walls and sheets.

He separated the two ends of the curtain and let the sun in, appreciating it for a moment before making his way to the bathroom, starting the shower and brushing his teeth with the cold water that was coming out of the showerhead. He was very green, sue him.

Before the water turned hot, he heard the sound of a text, but decided to look at it later, it was probably a derivation from the same text he sent five minutes ago.

So, you see, his life was pretty domestic. After the shower, breakfast awaited, and after that, school. Day after day of projects, and tests and homework. Senior year just never seemed to finish. The only thing making it better was the fact that he had Tony Stark, the great fucking Tony Stark as his sweet, sweet boyfriend (okay, that title never existed, but there were no wrongs in assumptions). He always ended up on the tower, either helping him out with some nerdy thing, or sitting in his lap in long make out sessions.

That day, though, something was off. The minute he stepped outside of his home, he felt odd. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something that just didn’t fit in. He looked around, but there was nothing out of place. Nothing visible, at least.

He was used to Tony making him feel better when he wasn’t, so his hand moved instinctively towards his pocket, bringing out his phone, preparing himself for a sappy message from his lover calling him something sweet and overall just making him swoon. But, when he opened the little blue dot with his boyfriend’s name on it, the message was not something he could have ever guessed.

‘Peter, I need you to come to the lab right now’

No explication, no missed calls, no nothing.

His heart started racing as he looked at the time. It had been about forty-five minutes since the message was delivered and he was standing there, like a fool. He looked around and decided the fastest way to get there without being too suspicious was his bike, so, he hopped on top of it, backpack hanging from his arm and heart destroying his ribcage with beating force.

The ride itself was always a little over twenty minutes, but adrenaline can do a hell lot to you. Before he even knew it, he was entering the tower without saying anything to any of the guards. This was probably a super-secret situation, because they would all be alarmed if something bad had happened and they were aware of it.

The elevator wasn’t fast enough, and his anxiety was taking over his little body, his leg bouncing up and down while he was standing there, pressing the button over and over again, attracting one of the guard’s attention.

“Everything alright, Mr. Parker?” he asked, with that very polish accent of his. Peter had to physically stop himself from screaming at him that he needed to get to Tony now. He had to respect the man’s wishes, and his security knowing about this wasn’t it.

“Yes, Alek, don’t worry, I just have some news for him, and I couldn’t wait”

“Alright…” trailed off Alek, looking at the boy up and down as the elevator finally descended to the first floor. “If you have any problems, you tell me, Mr. Parker”.

As soon as the door opened, the younger male stepped inside and started pressing the button of the tenth floor with the same speed as the outside button. “Of course, Alek. Thank you for your incredible service”

The calm music strategically placed on the elevator to calm the usual clients that rode it made Peter’s blood boil. He didn’t need to hear to Beethoven, he needed to get to his boyfriend right in that second and find out what the fuck had happened.

Once again, as soon as he was able to, he stepped outside, looking around the room, trying to find any signs of what had happened, even if he was smart enough to know that there couldn’t be any signs of struggle because Tony, first, was Iron Man, second, had the best security of the country down stairs. He just needed it to be a false alarm, Tony being his usual self and making things way more dramatic than they needed to be.

He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive. Everything is okay.

“Tony!” he screamed from the living room, making his way rather quickly to the laboratory, where the man had originally summoned him to.

To his horror, the door where closed. The doors that led to the stairs that eventually led to the laboratory were closed. Closed.

Peter tried really hard not to panic, his mind immediately going to the Obadiah situation many years ago, when he heard it announced on the local news. Of course back then, Tony didn’t have his super skilled and somehow very strong boyfriend that could potentially save him from anything.

He prepared himself to kick the doors open, but as soon as his hand touched them, he noticed that they were simply closed, not locked, not broken, not blocked. Somebody had closed the doors.

Following his usual motto, he looked inside and when he realized it was relatively safe to continue, the rest of his body followed, making him run down the stairs, analyzing the glass and looking for the superhero that he was madly in love with. “Tony?”

His voice came out as a whisper and he noticed the outline of a big, broad man standing in front of a very big source of light that looked like… like something he had seen before but couldn’t quite remember.

The glass door was pushed open and Peter entered cautiously, repeating the name of his lover once again, a bittersweet taste in his mouth. The man turned around, his eyes were bloodshot, and Peter had a stinging sensation in his stomach. Something was wrong. “What’s going on?”

“Peter, before you say anything, I need you to know this was not my intention, I just wanted…. After what happened with Strange, I had the need to recreate a portal, something like that… I ended up meeting a lot of shady folks and…”

“Tony, common!” insisted Peter, his blood pressure raising so much he thought he was going to faint. Not before he tells you what the fuck is going on, he muttered to himself.

Before any more excuses could be made, the man slowly moved to the side, hands on his back, holding on to each other tightly enough to bruise himself.

Peter’s eyes squinted slightly, trying to decipher what exactly was behind Tony. It… had a human shape, but it was almost impossible to make out with that much lighting behind them. Peter moved forward, stumbling on his feet when the human’s face started to form correctly, little details and familiar features decorating it.

“What…?”

As he moved closer, he started to convince himself that his brain was playing tricks, that he was losing his mind, that he was having a hallucination, that he was downright batshit crazy. That… human was…

“Peter…”

It was Tony. But…

“Tony? What- what the fuck?”

“Peter, I can explain”

The little human standing right in front of Peter didn’t seem as scared as Peter, actually, he had adopted the same physical position that… real (assuming this was not real) Tony. His face was much softer and less pained, less experienced, less knowing, and his eyes were glowing as they looked at Peter up and down, taking in the beauty that his Tony had appreciated so much the first time he saw him (and all of the times after that).

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark” muttered the creature, extending his hand towards the other young male in the room, who was now gripping the counter with a lot of strength, his knuckles turning white. His eyes darted momentarily towards who he thought was his boyfriend. “Tony…?”

His man started walking towards him, not taking his eyes off the… teenager that was apparently him. “I got someone to perform magic for me, but I didn’t know how to operate it. I swear to you I was trying to reach another part of town, or the world, but I never aimed for another world, or another dimension, whatever that… whatever that was.

“I didn’t even know other dimensions existed” muttered little Tony.

The man, who had turned to Peter, suddenly looked back and frowned. “How could you? You live in…. well, judging by the shirt and that rebellious hair… nineteen eighty-nine?”

“Good guess, I’m glad to know I’m smart in every universe. Nineteen ninety’s, actually”

The real Tony nodded, then looked back at his boyfriend, who was sweating like a pig and was grabbing at his chest as if he was about to have a heart attack. “Peter, baby, do you want to lie down?”

“Baby, huh?”

Peter’s head was spinning. The reasoning behind what was apparently a mistake between worlds didn’t make sense to him. He wasn’t sure if his trained brain could handle that. A small version of his boyfriend, of the man he often slept with walking around the city. He was also his age, a little older, was he going to go to college? Oh, dear, even worse, what if he…

“Peter, come back to me, right now. Stop spiraling”

The demanding voice brought Peter back, cutting his line of thought right through the middle. He was used to listening to that, to obeying that voice, even though he was not sure he could ever look at Tony the same way.

“You” said the real Tony firmly, looking at his other self, standing in front of what used to be a portal.

“You mean ‘me’”.

“No, I mean you. Explain yourself. Where are you from, how old are you?”

Mini Tony looked at Tony and then at Peter, whose eyes were wide as a plate, trying to comprehend how his boyfriend and the younger version of himself were talking as if nothing was going on. Specially the little one, who just by the few answers he had given, had made everyone understand him as a smartass. He probably thought this was way more amazing that it was.

“Well, I’m nearly twenty, and I’m late for work. Although that doesn’t really matter right now, does it?”

“W- why?” whispered Peter, feeling a slow, cold drop of sweat fall down his spine, chills making his whole skin feel electric, his brain dizzy with heat.

His Tony sighed, looking down and then at the portal behind the smaller himself. “I- The portal closed. I’m not a magician, so, technically, I can’t bring it back, I don’t know which world he was pulled from or how exactly we ended up in this situation…”

“What does- that mean?” exclaimed Peter almost out of breath.

“That I’m stuck here with you until further notice”

The room started spinning and Peter suddenly felt very drawn to the floor. His heart was stammering so hard and his eardrums were with such an overload that he couldn’t hear his boyfriend asking him if he was okay. As he tried to have a grip on reality, he managed to ask: “What about Doctor Strange? He has to know what- how to fix this”

Silence.

“That’s a very peculiar name. You’re all superheroes, right?”

Tony rolled his eyes, then turned to himself. “I really wish I wasn’t that annoying when I was twenty, because that would mean I owe a lot of people a lot of apologies”

“T- Tony…” mumbled Peter, trying to bring the attention back to him and his really important question.

“Right, so, I called him. He’s very pissed at me, but that’s normal. He says he can’t come right now because there are some kind of time aliens trying to cross the boarder between worlds. I don’t know. Some kind of space Trump is commanding them, and well…” he paused. “He’ll be here in a week or two”

“In the meantime…” murmured little Tony, “where’s the kitchen? I haven’t eaten in a while and other me here looks like he’s rolling in cash”

Peter’s eyes darted to his boyfriend, to the other Tony, and finally to the ceiling, the words that he had pronounced resonating in his brain as he tried to understand such trivial phrase for such a stressing situation.

Those same words were the last thing he thought of before falling to the hard ground.

Out cold.

#starker #starker au #ironspider #spideriron #tony stark x peter parker #tony stark/peter parker #Peter Parker/Tony Stark #peter parker x tony stark #starker fanfiction #young Tony Stark #peter parker/young tony stark

[xiubaek-13]

Unusual Suspects

Prompt: Minseok (feat Baekhyun, sorrynotsorry) + “You taste like fucking candy.” + “You heard me. Take it off.”

Setting/AU: Vampire

Warnings: it’s kind of a crack drabble, mentions of blood & death, supernatural themes, swearing, standard vampire stuff, implied smut.

Word Count: 2,366

A/N: Again, sorry this took so long anon, I hope you enjoy it. The idea was originally going to be a witch/wizard au but the vampire one came to me after seeing this prompt and I kept laughing about it so I had to make it happen. 

***

  Knock knock.

You groan from underneath the pillow you’d put over your head in an attempt to block out the incessant knocking at your front door. Who the fuck door knocks at this time of night? You sleepily grabbed your phone, the screen illuminating, temporarily blinding you while showing you the ungodly hour of 3am.

    Knock knock.

Three in the fucking morning. You had no missed calls, unread messages or anything to indicate that someone needed you, and really, if they needed you then odds were that they also knew where your spare key was kept and would just let themselves in.

    Knock knock.

You threw the covers off in a huff, half asleep, barely human and 100% pissed off - like a cat when it has to have a bath. You got up and stumbled to the door, your equilibrium not quite caught up to the fact that your body was upright and moving. You did pretty well to only fall into the wall twice.  

Your hair was a mess and you probably had drool on your face but those were things that alert people considered, not abruptly awoken in the middle of the goddamned night people. Those people only had three thoughts - Do I need to pee? Who do I kill for waking me? And Can I go back to sleep now?. You flung the door open - again, alert people would probably have some sense of self preservation and maybe not open the door at 3am to complete strangers - and grumpily sized up the two people in front of you. Why the fuck did they look so pleasant and AWAKE? The two men in front of you seemed pleasantly surprised that you’d opened the door.

They didn’t look at you like they’d spent the better part of fifteen minutes knocking on your front door, no they looked like the picture perfect missionaries who usually woke you up (at a much more reasonable hour of 8 or 9am). One wore white, the other wore black. Both had black hair, styled more than your standard missionary would have theirs but who knew what the hell these two did given they were knocking on your goddamned door at 3am, maybe they were a bit vain, you didn’t care. They looked rather harmless to you in your current state. The only thing that stood out were their eyes, those were far too intense for your standard missionaries, even your barely awake, murderous self could see that. Still, there were people knocking on your door at 3am who looked poised to try and sell you on the word of god and you were not having it. Jesus would want you to be well rested if he expected you to follow the thou shalt not murder commandment.

All you wanted was to go back to bed and be left alone. 3am was not  time for a conversation on your doorstep. You wanted them gone, the sooner the better. “Seriously, what the hell do yo-”

The one in white smiled sweetly at you as he stepped forward and asked. “Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?”

You couldn’t believe you were about to shut down the messengers of god this early in the morning but here you were. Normally you played along then gave some witty remark about making a deal with a crossroads demon or telling them that you were actually the antichrist, or that you were waiting for your human sacrifice to turn up. Those were always post coffee conversations, when your wit was less bitchy. These two weren’t getting any of that treatment today. No, you were going to keep it short and sweet. A simple ‘no’ then you could close the door and go back to bed. “No- wait, Dracula?” Well that was unexpected. It did explain the stupid hour of the day though.

“Yes!” The one in black stepped forward as well, smiling warmly, happy that you’d basically recanted your rejection of their presence.

“You’re vampires?” You asked. You weren’t quite awake enough to remember two very, very important things. 1. Vampires were not real and 2. If they were by some weird twist of fate, actually real vampires, then you most definitely should not invite them in. You should close the door, go back to bed and sleep it off. You didn’t do that though, instead opting to rub your eyes and take a proper look at these alleged vampires. The one in white was slightly taller than the other. He had broad shoulders, dark tousled hair, khol lined eyes & a lean body. Everything about him appealed to you, which made sense if you were to believe that he was a creature of the night. You could happily ogle him for hours but you mind reminded you that a) it was rude to stare and b) there was another man for you to roam your eyes over. You stared at him unabashedly which didn’t seem to unnerve him, if anything it interested him. He was only slightly taller than you, with dark hair that fell into his feline eyes, which were also lined, but with a smoky red liner. His black shirt clung to him and you could see that whilst he wasn’t as tall as his partner, he was muscular.

As you stared at the two men the one in black smirked at you and spoke softly. “Yes. We have pamphlets.” As he spoke the other held out one of the aforementioned pamphlets in his delicate fingers. This whole encounter so far was utterly ludicrous.

You took it from him and flipped it over in your hands, confused as the logical part of your brain tried to get through to you. “Vampires have missionaries?” The concept seemed utterly stupid. Vampires were the fictional beasts from gothic horror. They were entities with powers that were almost unmatched, not quiet door to door missionaries like the pair standing in front of you. Still, you had questions. Even if they were scamming you, they had piqued your interest.

“Where else would new vampires come from?” The taller of the two asked, cocking his head to the side as he laughed lightly at your question like you were the one saying crazy outlandish things.

“I assumed you bit people.” You shrugged. If you were to believe the tales from your childhood, vampires - still fictional - created more of their kind by biting someone and draining them of their blood, and once the person was at death’s door they fed them some of their blood. Then they let them die. Once the victim died the blood in their system would raise them as a new baby vampire. The stories were always like this, some small variations existed here and there but what do semantics matter when the whole concept is fictional?

The shorter one frowned slightly at your response and nodded, clasping his hands behind him. “There are many harmful stereotypes. May we come in?”

“I guess.” Was your stupid answer, stupid because had you been more awake or even remotely concerned for your safety you would have never let two strangers into your home during the day, let alone at 3 in the goddamned morning. But the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them. Not even five minutes ago you’d been ready to tell whoever was at your door exactly where they could go and/or what implement to shove up their own ass so that you could get yourself back into bed and back to sleep but here you were, stepping aside to let the two men (whose names you hadn’t bothered to ask because manners were also apparently not a thing right now) enter your home.

You led them to your kitchen and started to pour yourself a glass of juice. “Should I offer either of you a drink or is that a little on the nose?”

The taller one laughed and shook his head. “And she’s funny at 3am, I like her.”

“I must apologise for my partner. He appears to have forgotten his manners. My name is Xiumin & this is Baekhyun.” He inclined his head towards his partner who just seemed happy to be indoors.

“We don’t usually get this far to be honest. People usually say some rather crude things to us.” Baekhyun looked around the room, his eyes shining. “You have a lovely home.”

“Thanks? It’s a mess right now but it’s super early or super late, who the hell knows, and I wasn’t expecting guests.” You stifle a yawn as you vaguely gesture around the room.

Xiumin stepped forward, drawing your attention back to him. His sharp gaze held you in your spot as he smirked and closed the gap between the two of you. “You know, you really should be more careful. Letting two complete strangers into your home at any hour is a risk but in the dead of the night after they told you they were vampires? That’s downright stupid.”

You froze as you finally realised the position you were in. Whilst they weren’t hulking muscle pigs you were outnumbered and you were pretty sure they were still stronger than you. “The vampire thing is a joke though, right?” You half heartedly laughed. “I mean they aren’t real…”

You turned your head as you heard Baekhyun chuckle from across the room as he inspected some of the photos you had pinned to a board. He paused with a photo of you and your best friend in his hands and looked at you, his eyes darker and more menacing than before. “Oh my dear, vampires are very real. We’ve just had to amend our methods of conversion over the years.” Your eyes widened in fear as you spotted his fangs as he spoke. “We figured it worked so well for the church over the years, so why not try it. We increase both our numbers and our real estate portfolio for every home we’re invited into.”

You were scared, there was no point in denying that fact, but the more time you spent with the two of them, the more comfortable you felt in their presence. The longer they spoke to you, the less terrified you became. You figured you’d try to keep them talking until that fear subsided a bit more. Then you’d be able to work out a way out of this, negotiate with them or something.

You kept them talking, asking their answers to other common stereotypes associated with vampires. You figured they’d have to have them in case someone didn’t let them into their home but still wanted to talk. Their answers were so well formulated and convincing that it almost undid the two and a half decades of fear mongering you’d been fed. Almost. Twenty minutes later, you were still terrified and fearing for your life. You didn’t want to die yet, you still had recipes you wanted to make and what good were they if you couldn’t stomach food anymore? Would animals hate you if you were a vampire? You’d sooner die and have that be it than live out an existence where every dog and cat hated you.

You must have given a voice to those fears because you heard Baekhyun chuckle again as he moved back across the room towards you. “You shouldn’t be scared little one.” Xiumin sighed as he continued to stare at you. “We’ve been watching you and think that you’d make the perfect addition to our little family. I promise, we’ll let you enjoy your time with us before we turn you. You’re less likely to hate us after if we show you how good one of our kind can make you feel.”

“And who said we have to turn you tonight?” Baekhyun added. “Darling, we have so much planned. We can take our time, work out all of these niggling human concerns of yours.”

Xiumin held your face in his hands. “Tell me no after I kiss you and we’ll turn you now, but if you tell me yes then you’ll have a night that you won’t regret.” He attached his lips to yours. You felt the soft, plush lips against yours and strangely the fear you had started to dissipate. He didn’t force the kiss, seemingly waiting until you either pushed him away or made a move to show him you wanted to continue. Either way, you were going to die tonight. That much had been made clear. The choice had been made and there was no way you were going to be able to fend off two vampires and not die a horribly painful death. In the back of your mind your brain gave you two options, either die now or let them give you pleasure before dying. It even threw in the possibility that you were still dreaming and if you were dreaming then you’d obviously go for the option of sex with two hot vampires.

You settled on throwing caution to the wind, something you’d done a lot tonight, and responded to his movements allowing him to take your bottom lip between his teeth, his tongue swiping along it. He released your lip and kissed you again, this time deepening the kiss. He varied the pressure he applied, giving you soft kisses then deep hungry, breath stealing kisses. When you eventually broke the kiss you were panting as you tried to catch your breath. You meant to ask make a witty comment about how that was a bold move for a missionary but what came out of your mouth was more of a moan than words.

He trailed kisses from your mouth down to your neck, nipping and sucking at your flesh. “You taste like fucking candy.” He groaned into your shoulder as he momentarily stopped himself.

His voice was a low rasp and you thought he’d said something but you were too caught up in how his mouth felt against your skin and didn’t hear him. “Sorry what?”

“You heard me. Take it off.”

#exowritersnet #kwordsmiths #thekpopnetwork #kloversnet #kpopwonderlandtag #1000 followers #drabble game #exo drabble #exo fic #exo imagine #exo scenario #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun drabble #baekhyun imagine #xiumin fic #xiumin scenario #xiumin imagine #xiumin drabble #minseok scenario #minseok fic #minseok imagine #minseok drabble

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 11

We open in her magical apartment, shining white walls, CG gears floating like some sort of modern-art chandelier, and images of old scrolls hovering around, old manuscripts or what looks like a tapestry with the word ‘Walpurgis-’ on it. Seems Homura’s working on her (latest) plan to defeat the super-Witch and protect Madoka. One thing that struck me between these episodes is that the last time was probably the closest she’s ever gotten to saving Madoka from Contracting, until the Incubator made a last-minute offer while Homura was distracted fighting Walpurgisnacht. But maybe, just maybe, this time it could work? I mean, Madoka hasn’t Contracted, she knows how much of a dick the Incubator is, and has seen all her other friends die as Magical Girls. Maybe this will be enough to keep her away?

...oh who am I kidding. Madoka’s a Protagonist. She may be meek and scared, especially compared to Alpha Madoka, but when it comes down to it she overrules her fears and does what needs to be done, like when she threw away the chemicals in the warehouse. If she thinks that there’s something that she can do, she’s going to try her best to do it. Ugh. Admirable, but doomed to failure. “Time-traveler, Homura Akemi…” Well, look who it is, barging into Homura’s home at the eleventh-hour. What, are you going to brag about how your ‘perfect logic’ is going to prevail, that you still have claim to be the right side? Come on, Incubator, just try to convince me. “Your existence has answered at least one great mystery: Why is Madoka Kaname’s potential as a magical girl so abnormally vast?” ...wut? “You see, a magical girl’s potential is based on the weight of the karmic destiny she bears.” Oh. Oh, fuck. Homura was the cause. Alpha Madoka was a strong Magical Girl, but still lost to Walpurgisnacht. But each of the other timelines we saw, she survived up until she Witchified, didn’t she? I just put it down to Homura’s help, but if she was growing stronger and stronger… If each time Homura rewound time, all for the sake of one single person, reality after reality based around the lone girl Madoka Kaname… Multiple timelines, converging on one point, one person. All the ‘karmic destiny’ of the prior Madokas, concentrated into the next. In trying to save Madoka, Homura turned her into The One. “Excellent work, Homura. You’ve made Madoka into the most powerful witch we’ve ever seen.” Intro sequence. Well. That’s a thing. For what it’s worth, I paused to really read the lyrics of the intro song this time, and goddamn is it obvious now that it’s really Homura’s song. All the references to time, being stuck on a bad path? The songwriter must have been giggling like crazy when they played this in the early episodes. (Oh hey, it ended with the updated RADIO TOWER OF LIES with all five of the girls hanging out on top.) Ep 11: The Only Thing I Have Left to Guide Me A rainy day in Mitakihara City. Oh. “Sayaka Miki Funeral Service.” I guess the cops finally found her body. The school’s turned out for the service, and Madoka’s there with shaded eyes. She knows the truth, but can’t tell anyone. “Up next, the weather forecast.” Geez, show a little tact radioman! Sayaka makes it home, puts away her umbrella as her mother… uh oh. “About Sayaka’s case… Are you sure you don’t know anything about it?” Madoka claims ignorance and walks away. And the camera makes damn sure that we know Mother ain't buying any of it. Gulp. And now Madoka’s just sprawled on her bed, a blank look on her face. Her best friend and Kyoko are dead (what, no mention of Mami?). All because of- YOU. “It wasn’t exactly an unexpected outcome.” For crying out loud Incubator, give her some space, she just came back from the funeral of her best friend! Although knowing the Incubator, it’s taking this opportunity of a damaged emotional state to try and fill its quota sooner rather than later. Wait. Wait wait wait. What did you just say, Incubator? What the FUCK did you just say? “Then, for example, do you feel responsible for the deaths of livestock? Do you ever think about the process by which they become foodstuffs for you?” … “Because they are slated to become food for humans, livestock are fed and provided for all their lives, and given equal chance to reproduce free from natural selection. Cows, pigs, and even chickens have an overwhelmingly higher rate of survival in captivity than in the wild. So isn’t it actually a rather ideal, mutually beneficial relationship for you both?” Alright. Ok. *deep breath* First I’ll try to address the “eating other lifeforms” thing, then I’ll address why this analogy does not even come close to this situation. I’m an omnivore. I eat both meat and plant matter. I eat meat for several reasons, nutritional and ethical. It's not a perfect system, but it works and I consider it good. If it wasn't for the core flaw, I might even admit that the Incubator has a point in them being similar. But all of that is based on one single, fundamental fact: these creatures are not sapient. You can’t talk to them. Incubator, I’m going to bring something up called the Hierarchy of Foreignness (a system created in the Orson Scott Card “Ender’s Game” series). A general description is that it classifies groups or species based on both their species and ability to communicate, ranging from Utlanning (same species, easy communication) to Djur (different species, non-sapient). Note the communication aspect, that’s crucial. Sapience is a divisive subject, but I think we can all agree that if communication was possible between us and another species, if we could talk to them and they could rationally answer in kind then there’s no way in hell they would be on the menu. And yet, even though the Incubators can clearly communicate with us, even though they know that we are capable of reasoning, of storing and transmitting ideas, of generalization and abstract ideas… they still treat us as a resource. “Are you saying it’s the same between you and us?” “On the contrary, our treatment of humankind is much more respectful than your treatment of livestock. Perhaps it isn’t perfect, but we do acknowledge your species as sentient and try to deal fairly with you.” And there we go! Sentient, not sapient. Awareness, not reasoning. We raise cattle as livestock because it is the best solution and they are not sapient beings. You assholes stumbled across a rock full of sapient, rationalizing beings that you could communicate with and turned them into batteries. But wait, there’s more! The Incubator proceeds to show a horrified Madoka images of humanity’s history, from caves to castles. “We have intervened in your civilization’s development since prehistoric times. Countless girls throughout time have made Contracts with Incubators, had their wishes granted, and then ultimately succumbed to despair (images of woman I assume to be Cleopatra, based on pyramids and snakebite). Beginning in hope and then ending in a curse; that is the cycle that countless magical girls have repeated to this day. There are some who have wrought revolutions that changed history (Joan of Arc?), or elevated human society to new stages of development.” And so that gives you the right to harvest a thinking species, then? You set these girls on the path to destruction, get your precious emergy, and think we should be grateful for the privilege? Madoka breaks down into tears, cries about how they all trusted the Incubators. Who just claims that it wasn’t the Incubators who betrayed them, but their own prayers. That is the equivalent of saying “I gave them a box of matches, it’s not my fault they ended up burning down the house.” It goes on to argue that all hopes are Wishes for something other than the current reality, and anything that doesn’t match reality is bound to cause change. And of course, Change is Bad, so… “If they considered such a natural outcome to be a ‘betrayal’, they were wrong to have made wishes at all.” Really? Really, Incubator? So you’re saying that since change inevitably results in at least some negative outcomes, it’s wrong to try and enact change? Say, trying to prevent the natural heat-death of the universe? “Not that I’m calling them foolish.” Oh no, you’re just calling them acceptable, unintentional sacrifices. “If you understand now, why are you still holding the fates of a few individuals to be so precious?” Because they are individuals. Because the ending of a rational life, one that is denied a future of experiences and progress and chances to help other lives… Civilizations that exist based on the suffering of others are not worthy of the term. And the Incubators passed that line long ago. Madoka numbly looks up to the Incubator and asks if after all the time they spent watching over those girls they really feel nothing for them at all. The Incubator blithely retorts that if they could “understand suffering”, they wouldn’t need humanity in the first place. A society that treats emotion as a mental disease, to whom the concept of empathy for one another is foreign. Incubator, as surprised as you are that a world of individuals could move beyond the basest of conflicts, I am just as surprised that a species of a single mind could… no, I can’t say that I am surprised that a single focused mind could progress so far. But it is not a society that I would want to be a part of. The Incubator claims that if they had never come to Earth, then humanity would still be living naked in caves. I think you underestimate us. But even if that were true, it would be preferable to your schemes. ...I’m sorry, I can’t take anymore tonight.

*once again, needed an angry sleep to calm down* *calls for one final show prediction*

Well, my guessing has been so spot on so far, why stop now? This is the scenario we have, the elements leading into this finale: -Madoka has not Contracted -Homura knows her time travel has resulted in Madoka’s Protagonist Potential -Walpurgisnacht is inbound, which means bad times for Muggles -All the other MGs besides Homura are dead -Madoka’s Mom suspects that she’s hiding something about Sayaka -Homura is going to try and fight Wally on her own like last timeline, hoping that Madoka won’t Contract From this, I can see three possibilities: (Good Ending) Homura attempts to fight Walpurgisnacht on her own (because that worked so well last time). Brave, heroic, foolish Madoka intervenes, Wishes Mami (or best-case scenario Sayaka and Kyoko as well) back to life, and all the girls work together to destroy Wally. Homura is upset that Madoka still became a MG, but Madoka says that it’s her choice. All the girls will have to be careful, but knowing the risks of despair on their Soul Gems (and the other two/four keeping an eye on Mami so she doesn’t go all Spark-Hunter on them) they work to protect their city and prevent other girls from Contracting. Eventually all the Witches are exterminated, so no need to use up their Soul Gems anymore, they are locked away. Show ends with all three/five girls walking to class, another chance at normal lives. (Was just about to post this when I got the unpleasant realization that this is impossible. "Lock away the Soul Gems"? Wouldn't work. Damn. Ok, so best-case scenario the girls actively avoid using magic, but they still have to carry around this reminder. Still leagues better than where they are now, but... damn, even when I try to come up with a Good ending Urobuchi blocks me. ) (Feels Ending) Homura attempts to fight Walpurgisnacht on her own. Madoka intervenes, makes a Wish that Homura doesn’t hear, and destroys Walpurgisnacht. With her last words before she turns into a Witch, she asks Homura to not give into despair, and keep trying. Homura travels to another timeline, but when she gets there her shield shatters and her Soul Gem disappears. And when she gets to school, Madoka is nowhere to be found. (Urobutcher Ending) Madoka is about to go and try to help Homura, when her mother stops her with several men in uniform. Madoka is taken away for questioning about Sayaka, while the police car is stuck in traffic Walpurgisnacht attacks and destroys the car in passing. Homura tries to fight Walpurgisnacht, but loses like last time. Knowing that if she goes back again Madoka will be further tied up with Protagonist Potential, Homura gives up and her Soul Gem turns black. ...yep. So, so much fun coming up with these predictions. And even though for the last one I tried thinking of what could make me punch my screen, I wouldn’t bet that Urobuchi will find some way to top it. Ugh.

Still raining, scene change to a bar?

“It really does hurt, losing one of my own students this way…”

Oh. Ouch. Looks like the girl’s teacher is trying to cope. And she still doesn’t know what really happened to Sayaka, and we know that she never will. Add in a missing third-year student…

All they’ve got to go on is the fact that Sayaka was ‘quarreling’ with a friend over a boy. Aw jeez, Hitomi’s got to be in a bad spot right now, huh? Probably thinks that she drove Sayaka off? Kinda true, but not the whole story. Ten-to-one that the Incubator plans on paying a brown-haired girl a visit later.

So the cops are calling it “an accidental death, exacerbated by mental stress after running away from home.” So in other words, they’ve got no clue how she actually died. I suppose one’s soul turning into a Witch wouldn’t leave any real signs.

Oh, so Teach is talking with Mrs. Kaname! Should have realized when this convo took place in a bar. Heh, remember back when it was just jokes about Madoka’s Mom having to drink with her brotastic colleagues, and planning a coup of her department? Those were good times.

Uh oh. Mrs. Kaname’s admitting that she thinks Madoka knows something. But she also doesn’t seem like she’s lying… I think Mrs. Kaname’s thinking over that late-night advice on making a mistake for a friend. Madoka did say that a friend was getting into trouble. So much guilt being felt by all these secondary characters: Hitomi thinks she drove Sayaka away over Kamijo, Teach is worried about students going missing from school, Mrs. Kaname knew ‘a friend’ of Madoka’s was in a bad spot. Can’t say the blame falls fully on any of them, but I bet they feel like it does.

Mrs. Kaname bemoaning that for the first time, she can’t tell what Madoka is thinking. With things seeming off lately, she can tell something’s weighing on her but Madoka hasn’t talked about it. Understandable given the subject matter, but from Mother’s perspective Madoka doesn’t trust her anymore. And all she can do is trust Madoka.

Back at Homura’s place, doorbell? Oh, Madoka’s going to talk to Homura! She asks if all the floating diagrams are about Wally, says that Kyoko told her about the super-witch. Been a while since we last saw Kyoko, I can’t remember if that was onscreen on this is just establishing how Madoka could know about it.

Ah, seems Madoka’s here because she was told Wally is such a strong witch one person can’t beat it on their own. Homura was planning to team up with Kyoko… but then stuff happened. Madoka asks if Homura’s been planning on fighting it all this time, which gets an odd look from the time-traveler. Madoka rallies and asks if the city will be in danger.

Homura’s explaining that Walpurgisnacht is so powerful it doesn’t need to hide in a Labyrinth. If it manifests, thousands die. Muggles can’t see it, so they just think it’s caused by some natural disaster.

Madoka asks, or rather says that it absolutely has to be defeated… yup, Protagonist. Sorry, Homura, but I look at Madoka now and see someone who knows that there is a problem, and a way that she can help against it. With all the other girls gone, Homura will need help, so Madoka suggests that-

Homura cuts her off, insisting that she can do it on her own, claims that she never even needed Kyoko’s help. Yyyyeah, even Madoka knows that you’re bluffing. Then… oh! “I don’t know why, but I really want to believe in you, Homura. I don’t want to think that you’d lie to me.” Aw now you’ve done it Homura, you made Madoka cry. Feel the guilt. Feeeel it!

Urg, so many feels right now. Madoka’s crying because Homura is lying to her, and Homura’s clenching her fists and teeth because-

“I’m not even living in the same time that you are, Madoka!”

OUCH. Homura has broken down, rushed over and grabbed Madoka in a hug, our Protagonist is standing there very much off-guard. Cold, distant Homura is finally telling Madoka her story, that she’s from the future. That she’s met Madoka over and over, and each time had to watch her die.

“What do I have to do to save you? What do I have to do to change your fate?” She’s been redoing this month trying to find an answer. Yeah, not blaming you for your confusion Madoka, this is a big change from the Homura that you knew.

“I’m sorry… I’m not making any sense, right? I must seem horribly creepy, right?” Madoka’s known this Mysterious Transfer Student for barely a month, while Homura’s known Madoka for who knows how long. And for all Madoka is a kind and compassionate Protagonist, she really doesn’t know what do with this weepy girl.

“But to me… To me, you are…”

...well.

“The more times I redo all this, the further in time we drift from one another. Our feelings drift further apart, and my words don’t even reach you anymore. The truth is, I think I’ve been lost for a very long time now.”

“I will save you. That was the feeling that I started all of this with. And now, it is the only thing I have left to guide me.” Title drop! “It’s ok if you don’t understand. It’s ok if my words don’t reach you. But, please… Please… just let me protect you.”

...yup. That was one heck of a gut punch. I can say I understand the MadoHomu shippers now, that “To me, you are…” is all but a confession to me. However, I will still stand by my friendship interpretation because damnit my Ship of Death has killed off half the cast already, and I wanna see this girls live.

Cut to a dark and stormy sky, thunder and lightning. Some dudes are remarking that the thunderclouds are spreading at unbelievable speeds, call for an evacuation of the city. All the residents are getting ordered to their nearest shelters, and now the streets are empty.

Except for one person. A dark-haired girl in a school uniform, overlooking the water.

“It’s here.”

(For the record, as soon as I typed that the internet decided that “Eh, that’s a good place to crash”. Thankfully fixed it, but for a while there I was yelling at Wally for breaking my computer.)

Now we’re at a fancy building with lots of glass (as per the norm in this city), apparently it’s a gym of sorts that’s serving as a shelter, lots of families on green mats around the court. Not sure how much of a ‘shelter’ the building is with all the giant windows, let alone how it’s probably not Witch-proof, but better than everyone being at home I guess. Madoka’s family are at their own mat. Daw, been ages since I last saw the little brother and the Dad, Brother’s cute asking if they’re camping tonight and Dad saying it’s a great big group campout. But Madoka’s turned away from the rest of the family, clutching her knees. Taking bets on how long she lasts until she runs off to try and help, I’m giving it five minutes.

Back at Homura, colors are going monochrome, and a fog is spreading across the river. Once it reaches Homura she gives one last MST hair-flip, and starts walking. Wait, hold up, wasn’t she just behind a railing, facing the river? Is the fog a sign of warped reality so that the railing isn’t there anymore, or what?

Ah. Some sort of crayon rabbit-thing (not an Incubator, just has ears like a rabbit) just ran by Homura. Reality warping it is. And it just got stomped on by an elephant? Ok, looks like while Wally doesn’t have/need a labyrinth it does project a cirusy-vibe.

A lace curtain rises, and the music kicks in. A countdown begins. 5. 4. Buildings rise behind Homura. 2. The pastel circus passes by her. 1. Shattered buildings rise up and Walpurgisnacht looms from the clouds, an upside-down mannequin in a flowy dress with giant gears above.

The Future has arrived. Walpurgisnacht is here.

Homura launches into a quick transformation sequence (is this the first time we’ve seen her transform?), clicks her shield… and whoa that’s a lot of rocket launchers. No seriously, I am seeing dozens of RPGs and bazookas set up around her, how long did it take her to gather all of these?

So yeah, Homura’s starting off by freezing time and blasting dozens of explosives at Wally. Who just laughs a creepy echoey laugh and floats off breathing technicolor flames as Homura now runs about triggering mortars. That likewise seem to do no damage. Dang, even Homura’s early pipe bombs could destroy a Witch quickly, what’s Walpurgisnacht made of? Alright, will collapsing some metal towers on the Witch work? Nope. Now… do I hear a truck?

Abridged!Dio: “Look what I’ve got!”

Ok, the explosions keep coming as Homura drives a freaking tanker up the bridge into Wally’s face. And then ok what the hell, is that a sub? Did Homura just launch a freaking missile into this Witch? Half a dozen missiles? And then two that ram Wally into the industrial area? Sorry Mami, but as impressive as it was to see you summon a company-worth of muskets, I think Homura has you beat in firepower here.

Argh, but even after getting hit by friggin missiles Walpurgisnacht is still inta- oh, that’s a bomb. Oh, that’s a lot of bombs. OH, that’s a shitton of bombs!

But the music’s not stopping. It sounds like it’s building up, even. Aw crap, are you telling me that THAT wasn’t enough? Homura just blasted this thing into a building practically made of bombs, what more do you want?!

Crap, yeah. Homura just got struck by some sort of starry-whip, and Walpurgisnacht appears no worse for wear. Homura, I really hope you’ve got some more firepower stashed away.

All these explosions are shaking the shelter, Madoka’s parents are looking up at the ceiling worriedly and not saying anything. Madoka’s still off to the side, clutching her- wait, she just stood up. And said that she’s going to the bathroom. *Checks time, just under 3 minutes* Damn, even faster than I guessed.

Madoka’s looking out the (probably not storm-proof) giant glass windows at the pouring rain, and for crying out loud the Incubator is perched on the railing. She asks it if Homura was telling the truth about being able to face Wally on her own, the Incubator asks if she’d believe it anyways if it told her no. “At this point, explanations are pointless. You should go and see for yourself. See how well Homura Akemi is faring against Walpurgisnacht.” Manipulative to the end, aren’t you you little jerk.

It then proceeds to frankly say that Homura hasn’t given up hope yet. If she loses, then she can still turn back time, restart this ‘meaningless’ chain of events over and over. Because it’s no longer possible for her to stop or give up.

“The moment she acknowledges that everything she has done is pointless, and your fate is impossible to change, Homura Akemi will fall into despair and turn into a Grief Seed.”

Aw hell. The Urobuchi’s setting up Ending #3, isn’t he? Come on Homura, don’t fall to despair! You can’t give up on Madoka, even if you fail again this time you could still save the Madoka in the next timeline!

“So you’re saying that as long as she continues to hope, she can’t be saved?”

...no. No no NO. Do NOT do this to me, Urobuchi! I am begging you, do NOT make Ending #2 happen either! It doesn’t matter if Madoka Wishing for Homura to not be trapped in her quest to save Madoka would end the problem, if we end with either both girls dying or Madoka Wishing Homura free from the time loops, I am going to scream. Damn it, cut these girls a break!

Damn it. Madoka has dried her tears and is walking away. Either to lichdom to save another or to her death, I do not know. But away she goes.

Holy crap, Mom out of nowhere! She just grabbed Madoka’s hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Aw shoot, she’s confronting Madoka. If I see people in uniform show up I am going to break something.

Madoka says that she has to go save a friend, but Mother cuts her off and says to leave it to the firefighters. You know, the guys with rescue training that a middle-school girl doesn’t have.

Our Protagonist insists that it has to be her- oh! Mother just slapped her. “You don’t live your life just for yourself, understand?!”

But Madoka understands. She knows how much her mother and father care, because she loves her family too. And in order to protect them and her friend, she has to go somewhere else now.

Damn, props to Mother. Even not knowing everything that’s going on, even with such a terrible ‘storm’ outside, she says that she’s going with Madoka if she’s leaving. But Madoka says no, that she needs to stay and makes sure Father and Tatsuya stay safe.

“Mom, you told me you had raised me well. I don’t tell lies (*beyond not explaining Magical Girls*). I don’t do bad things. Will you believe in me now? Will you trust that I’ll do what’s right?”

Mother raises a hand. And then lowers it. And then launches Madoka forward with a pat on the back. Got to admit, for a second I thought that Madoka was going to fall down the stairs. What a way to end the show, right? But no, it’s a heartwarming moment between mother and daughter.

Back to Terrible Things! Walpurgisnacht is heading deeper into the city, Homura chasing while being surrounded by laughing starry MG-silhouettes. And of course Wally is heading for the shelter, as if this wasn’t bad enough already. If you’ve got anything left Homura, now’s the time to use it!

Um. Ouch. A building to the face has got to smart.

Aw crud, Homura’s foot is trapped. Is she…? Yup, she’s grabbing her shield, preparing to reset again. But if she goes back again, Madoka will get more tied up in MG potential.

No. No no no nope uh-uh NO. You do not get to give up now, Homura. You are not going to go Ending #3 and make Madoka have to fight two friggin Witches. Do NOT give up! No no NO

Madoka’s here.

“That’s enough. You’ve done enough, Homura.”

The music from the Future Dream/secondary credits has just started. The Incubator walks up beside Madoka.

“Madoka… you didn’t…!”

“Homura… I’m sorry.”

And credits.

After-credits picture of all five magical girls.

“If someone says it’s wrong to have hope, then I’ll tell them they’re wrong, every single time. And I know I’ll always tell them so.”

Final Episode: My Very Best Friend

*phew* Ok, we got way too close to Ending #3 there for me. And it’s clear that Madoka is going to make a Contract and become a MG to fight Walpurgisnacht. The only question now is what she’s going to Wish for.

I have to re-evaluate #2 now, given the after-credits line about Madoka always saying it’s wrong to give up hope. I can’t see someone who says that ending Homura’s quest, even with good intentions. So it’s more likely that Madoka will make the Wish about this timeline and just give Homura the inspiring speech, that just because this timeline didn’t work out that doesn’t mean she should give up on the future. So maybe a Wish like “I Wish I had the power to save this city from Walpurgisnacht”, or best-case “I Wish for my friends back to help me fight Walpurgisnacht”, and when Madoka runs out Homura leaves for the next timeline. And so we end with another failure, but hope that someday Homura will succeed.

*Sigh* Well, whatever happens next, bittersweet or just bitter, it’s been a trip. Thank you all for joining me in this WMTW, I will hope beyond hope that Homura will find peace someday.

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm 11

[thetravelerwrites]

Blue: The Dry Run

Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Monster Lover, Gender Neutral Reader, Asexual, Agender Demon, Demon Friend, Reader-Insert, SFW Words: 2135

Blue is anxious about going out among people openly for the first time, so their partner suggests a trial to help them feel less nervous: a petting zoo.

The Traveler's Masterlist

“But what if they don’t like me?”

You sighed at Blue in exasperation. You were trying to convince them to come with you to one of your classes. Your young students often dealt with feelings of being different in a world that didn’t understand them, and you knew Blue understood that feeling very well.

“You’re blue and fuzzy, hon, they’ll love you. You’re like a giant teddy bear.”

“What if they’re frightened? I’m a demon, a creature, a… a thing. Won’t they be scared of me?”

“Of course not. You haven’t been out in hundreds of years, Blue. The world is a different place now. All kinds of creatures walk among humans these days. You’re not the only non-human out there. A handful of my kids are half-human. Orcs, werewolves, dragons, nagas, even other demons. Hell, my boss’s assistant is an incubus, for fuck’s sake. Openly! Like everyone knows he’s an incubus; he doesn’t even try to hide it. Everyone has to have a job these days, you know. And I think the kids would really like you.”

They were sitting scrunched up on the bed, twisting their tail in their lower pair of hands and looked down at themselves. “But… I’m naked.”

You folded your arms and smirked at them. “Now your grasping at straws, Blue,” You said. You turned and looked into your closet. “But if it’ll make you feel better…” You riffled through the rack with your lips pursed. “Hmm…you’re too tall for most of my clothes…” You said. “Oh, here we go.” You pulled out a long, pale pink sundress with yellow flowers. “My sister left this last time she stayed over. I’ve been meaning to send it back to her, but…”

You bid Blue to stand, and they stood up straight. You’re glad you made the decision to move to an apartment with vaulted ceilings so that they could stand at their full height. Their constant crouching was painful, even for you.

You put the dress up to their long, spindly body and considered it. “I think this would look good with your coloring,” You said. “It’s supposed to be ankle length, but I think it’ll be just over your knee. Would this make you feel better?”

They shrugged noncommittally.

You sighed. “Look, why don’t we try a dry run?”

“Dry run?”

“Yeah. Just go out. Nothing big. Maybe the petting zoo.”

“Petting zoo?”

“Yeah, it’s full of cuddly animals you get to play with.”

They gave you a flat expression. “I know what a petting zoo is, my love.”

You laughed. “I take my class there all the time. It’s great for trauma relief. The proprietor is a friend of mine, I can get her to let us in on the weekend.”

“What purpose would that serve?”

“You can play with the animals. Animals are a great judge of character. If they’re not scared of you, then the kids, who are old enough to be reasoned with, won’t be either. Come on, please? It’ll be like our first real date. We’ve never actually had one, for all the time we’ve been together. Please?”

You pressed your hands together as if praying and pouted a little. Blue squatted and sighed, taking the dress and pulling it over their head. Luckily, both sets of arms fit through the armholes. They looked silly and adorable in it.

“If it’s for you…” They signed reluctantly. “But I can’t promise I’ll enjoy it.”

“If you don’t, we’ll come home and I’ll never bring it up again. I want you to be comfortable, but I also think you’d really enjoy yourself.” You took their face in your hands and gently kissed where their nose would have been, if they had one. “There’s no reason to hide, Blue. This world is as much yours as it is mine and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have everything you want from it.”

“I have you. What else could I want?”

You smiled and hugged them. “I love you too. But…” You sighed. “You’re immortal. Or, at least, you’ll live much longer than me. I want you to have something after… after I’m gone. I don’t want you to disappear again.”

They couldn’t argue with that, as much as they disliked the thought. They had been summoned to protect others before you, and had lost them all long ago. Despite never having revealed themselves to any of their prior charges, Blue always felt the losses deeply and had receded to the void after their deaths, waiting to be summoned again. Blue believed their only purpose for existing was to protect, but you were hoping to give them more than that this go round. They were more to you than a bodyguard or a guardian, they were part of your soul now. You loved them.

Blue couldn’t kiss you, as they had no mouth, but they nuzzled their face to your neck before pulling back and signing, “Okay. I’ll go.”

“You’ll love it. I promise.” You said, running a finger down the middle of their face. They did that strange smile that only involved their eyes.

That Saturday, late in the evening, you had made arrangements with your friend Lizzie for her to open the petting zoo for you simply so she could meet the elusive Blue you were always going on about. She admitted to you that she kind of thought you had made them up.

It was nearly midnight when you managed to get Blue, wearing the sundress, out of the front door. You promised to take all the back ways, so that they would be seen by as few people as possible. You assured them that it wasn’t necessary, that no one would scream or run from them, but they were still wary.

“Don’t look so worried, honey,” You told them, taking them by the hand and pulling them down the sidewalk in the dark just outside of the light of the streetlamps. “It’ll be fine.”

Blue allowed themselves to be lead by their hand, skulking behind you with their eyes darting to and fro.

“Lizzie is very nice, I promise. I’ve already told her all about you, so she knows what to expect,” You said.

“I doubt that,” Blue said.

“Blue, her husband is an onikuma and her best friend since childhood is a horned forest guardian. She’s really not going to be all that surprised by you.”

Blue shrugged and continued to follow you.

You walked up the steps of the community center and ignored the front door. All the lights were off except for the annex building where the petting zoo was kept in back. You skipped a little and pulled Blue forward, as they had stopped when they saw the light ahead.

“Come on!” You said excitedly. If they could have groaned, they would have.

Silhouetted against the open door was your friend, Lizzie, waving an arm over her head in enthusiasm.

Blue faltered in their steps, but you used your momentum to carry them forward. Blue was very strong despite the preternatural thinness of their body and extremities; if they really wanted to wrench themselves from your grasp, they absolutely could have. The fact that while reluctant, they were still complying, spoke to the level of trust they had placed in you. You hoped you weren’t betraying that trust.

“Hey, guys!” Lizzie called. Blue tensed but didn’t retreat.

“Hey, Lizzie!” You said in return, rushing up the stairs to give her a hug. You looked back and saw Blue lingering just outside of the light. “Blue, come on, she’s not going to bite you.”

“Unless you ask nicely,” Lizzie said with a grin.

Blue came forward slowly, fidgeting with their tail nervously.

“Wow, so this is Blue, huh?” Lizzie said, taking a few steps forward and putting out a hand. Blue eyed her warily, but took her hand in one of theirs and shook delicately. “I really did think you made them up, you know,” Lizzie added to me.

“Told you so,” I said.

“Yeah, you did,” Lizzie said, smiling brightly at Blue.

“Nice to meet you,” Blue signed after you nudged them.

“You, too,” Lizzie replied. “Well, ready to pet some animals?”

Blue nodded, the cascade of their hair shivering as they did so, and They followed you and Lizzie into the building.

Inside there was a miniature pony, a few pigs, a llama, some lambs, a goat, and a pen full of little rabbits.

“Ooh! Look, Blue! Bunnies!” You said, pulling them toward the pen. Picking one up, you set it in Blue’s upper pair of hands. Blue cradled it carefully, waiting for it to fight them or freak out, but it didn’t. It simply sat placidly in Blue’s grasp, nose twitching.

You took one of Blue’s lower hands and pulled it up, showing them how to stroke the bunny. When you let go, Blue continued on their own.

“See? Not so bad, right?”

Blue didn’t answer, just scratched the bunny behind its ear. They then knelt down and put their hand out, and the other bunnies came over and sniffed it curiously.

“Here,” Lizzie said, holding a cabbage in her hands and breaking off some of the leaves for Blue to feed to the rabbits. Blue took the leaves and held them out, and the bunnies flocked to them, much to their delight. Blue then sat cross-legged in the pen, surrounded by rabbits as if they were the bunny messiah.

“Cute dress Blue’s wearing,” Lizzie said in an undertone after you had retreated to give Blue some space.

“Yeah, it was my sister’s. I just forgot to give it back.”

“So, Blue’s a girl?”

“Nope.”

“A boy?”

“Neither,” You replied.

Lizzie scrunched up her face in confusion. “Well, I know you call them ‘they’ and all,” She said. “But… what have they got going on… you know… downstairs?”

“They’re an eldritch horror borne of the void, Lizzie, they don’t need to have anything ‘going on downstairs,’” You told her in a sniffy tone. “Besides, the only person who needs to be concerned about that is them.”

“Well, you’re together, aren’t you? Wouldn’t it concern you, too?”

“I’m a sex-repulsed asexual, Lizzie; it doesn’t make a difference to me what they may or may not have… physically. Blue is what they are and they don’t need to be anything else. It’s not complicated; they’re happy, I’m happy, and that’s what matters.”

Lizzie shrugged. “If you say so.”

Blue sprung up to their feet and trotted over to you, a small procession of bunnies following in their wake, and they smiled their eye-smile. They still had a rabbit on their shoulder.

“I want to pet the horse now,” they said.

It took another three trips to the petting zoo before Blue decided they felt confident enough to greet your class. You had also experimented with different articles of clothing, but Blue decided they liked the sundresses best. It allowed for freer movement, and they liked the way the fabric fell around their body. Halter top dresses worked best with their four arms.

While going to put away Blue’s new clothes, you hand touched a bag that you had stowed away in the closest nearly a year ago, the one with the bits of the bunny, Blue’s vessel.

“Whoa,” You said, holding it if for them to see. “I’d forgotten about this. Why did you rip this to pieces?”

“To get out,” They said. “Demons are physically trapped within the confines of their vessels. We literally have to ‘break’ free of them. I had no reason to do so before that night, but when I couldn’t discern why you were so distressed, I freed myself to try and comfort you better, though I seemed to have had the opposite effect.”

“Aw,” You said, hugging them around the middle. They’re lower set of arms wrapped around your waist while the upper pair settled on your shoulders. “It’s all good now. You’re a huge comfort to me, Blue.” You pulled up and looked at their face, frowning slightly. “I do wonder what you get out of staying with me, though.”

“I get love,” they said with their eye-smile. “That’s all I need.” They’d brushed their forehead against yours affectionately and you kissed their face.

The next day, Blue picked out the white sundress with the roses on it, their favorite, and shyly accompanied you to the school. They walked scrunched up at first, but when they saw other creatures, like demons, orcs, and beast-people, walking among humans, they straightened out a little and seemed a bit more eager.

When you got to the school, you introduced Blue to your colleagues, who greeted them warmly, which was surprising to Blue.

Outside your first class, you turned to Blue.

“Ready?”

They smiled and nodded.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Demon #Asexual #Gender Neutral Reader #Reader Insert #Petting Zoo #SFW #My Writing #Blue #Interspecies Romance #Asexual Romance #Agender

[petitelepus]

Take it, Break it, Fix it, Repeat it, Part 1

Okay, this story is like 2 years old, but thanks to certain someone amazing I got a passion to try and continue it.

You and Blurr are agents together working to capture evil Decepticons. Two of you make a great team, tagging along and enjoying each others company. So much even that you two end up as lovers. Blurr wants to take you with him to see stars and his home planet once you two have escaped these damn Decepticons and reported back to your Officer Longarm Prime. What could possibly go wrong?

Where were you? Everything hurt and you couldn’t see or move your arms or legs. Were you in an accident? You couldn’t remember…

”Wake up! Oh Primus, please, please please don’t be dead…! I need you to wake up..! Please…!”

That voice? It was so fearful it was nearly hysterical… But you knew that voice. The fast pace of the speech and the constant urgency…! You recognized it as your alien robot lover. You forced your eyes open with pure willpower and saw the dark ceiling that greeted you.

You were so dazed, dark spots dancing in your blurry vision. You blinked, trying to shoo those darn spots away. Slowly, your head lolled from side to side as you looked what was bidding you.

You were strapped to a metallic table, your arms and legs bound to table with leather cuffs. You tried to lift your hand, but the cuff held like steel, only letting you raise it a couple of inches. Then you saw something blue from the corner of your eye and turned to look.

”Blurr…!” You gasped, your voice raspy after some time spent being unconscious. He was on his knees on the floor, his servos bound together by stasis cuffs, used by Elite Guards to restrain criminals. As soon as he heard your voice his helm whipped up and his bright blue optics widened in joy to see you moving.

He called your name in relief when he noticed you moving and tried get up to run to you, only to be yanked back by a strong chain that tied him to the floor. He managed to keep his footing, but your heart was nearly shattered by the broken look on his face for not making it to you when you needed him. So he took one step of time towards you until his chain wouldn’t let him come any closer.

”Hey, sweetie…” He whispered, barely keeping his habit of speaking quickly in check. He knew you needed to take it slowly now. ”Sweetspark, oil bunny, energon heart…! Are you alright? You aren’t hurt anywhere…?”

You groaned slowly and shook your head. ”No… I’m just sore… What happened?”

”You don’t remember…?”

You shook your head, winching a little at the jolt of pain in your neck. You couldn’t read what Blurr was feeling, but it was close to sadness and relief. ”We went together to report our discovery of Decepticon Spy that had penetrated into Cybertronian Elite Guards… When sir Longarm Prime attacked us and-”

”-You saved me…” You finished for him. The pieces of started to come together. You and Blurr were in a hurry, but you didn’t fail to salute your officer like good agents did. When you had brought it to his knowledge that you two had managed to get a voice sample of traitor Decepticon, Sir Longarm Prime had transformed into an enormous tank and shot at you two.

Tears sprang to your eyes. Blurr was fast, but you could have seen it coming. He did and instead of running to safety he had rushed to you and taken hit for you. You looked at him and saw how his armor was dented in some places, there was a sharp piece of his helm missing, his paint had been burnt off from some places and he looked like he had gone through hell.

You automatically tried to raise your hand to wipe the tears from your eyes, but the leather cuff held you in your place. Instead, you just let the tears drop and roll down your cheeks. Blurr immediately panicked. ”Are you alright, what’s wrong, please tell me, I'll make it better...!”

”It’s nothing…!” You sniffled. ”You could have saved yourself and warned others, but you saved me instead…! I feel so useless…!”

The chains rattled as Blurr tried to get as close to you as possible, twisting so his back was to you, but he was able to stretch his arms and look at you over his shoulder. ”No No no NO no NO NO NO! I would always save you, NO matter what, always! I’m fast, I was able to save you, I’ll keep protecting you until the end until we are saved and after that!”

You sobbed, a new wave of tears emerging. ”W- why did Sir Longarm Prime attack us…?”

”Not Longarm Prime.” Came a new, no, a familiar voice. You recognized that voice. You and Blurr had together reported to him everything you ever discovered or did something for Autobots’ sake. But the mech you saw wasn’t the Prime you both served and honored.

A giant Transformer with a purple paint job, enormous hands with three sharp claws on each hand, face as dark as a black hole and one lonely red optic gleamed at you and Blurr from the other side of your cell’s bars.

”Decepticon Shockwave! Where are we!?” Blurr demanded an answer bravely. Shockwave didn’t reply immediately, first, he got himself a keycard and unlocked your cell’s door. ”You’re both at an old abandoned underground brig. This place was abandoned and forgotten during the war when Decepticons bombed and raided all the energon sources. Only me and a handful of us know about this place.”

No one knew about this place? By us, he must have meant other Desepticons. You glanced at Blurr, tears forming again. Wouldn’t you be able to get out of here? What was going to happen to you? Was he going to torture you two for information or just keep you locked up in here until everyone stopped asking after you?

”I must thank you, agent Blurr. You brought me a perfect sample of this organic species that reside on Earth. You did a good job.” Shockwave said as he stepped inside the cell. He left the door open. You glanced at your lover. If he could get out of that chain he could have a chance to escape. God, you hoped that he could somehow get out of that chain…!

”Deception Shockwave, I insist, NO, I demand you let the human go! She has nothing to do with our war! In fact, she has nothing to do with either you or me! She hasn’t done harm to either one of us so therefore she is innocent and free to leave without you trying to assault her!” Blurr was talking so quickly, he was so agitated and angry.

”Now that’s where you are wrong agent Blurr. She is the reason why you’re both still alive and not dead.”

”W- why…?” You whimpered, afraid to speak, but you couldn’t help yourself. ”Why me…? I- I don’t know anything…!”

”Wrong yet again. You organics are rather simple-minded and that wasn’t a compliment.” Shockwave walked closer and looked at Blurr. ”The moment that fool Sentinel allowed her to help you, agent Blurr, you Autobots had doomed her."

”B- but you approved my application to let her help us yourself!” Blurr called out in confusion before he froze. You watched in terror as his optics widened and coolant started to appear on the corner of his optic as the realization hit him. ”You tricked me! You wanted me to bring her here all along! You were the one who talked Sentinel over to approve her application!”

”Sentinel is an arduous disappointment, letting his foolish pride take the control of himself. He wants to be a Magnus so badly he will happily deceive fellow Autobots, head his helm first into the battle and doesn’t plan anything.” The Decepticon scoffed so hard that you could almost see how he looked beside not having a face.

”Sentinel despises organics. Humans. I find them intriguing. I’ve dedicated my whole existence for our Lord Megatron and a moment ago while you two were still unconscious he granted me my one selfish wish.” Shockwave looked at you and you shivered as his optic zoomed in on you. ”You.”

”No…! You wouldn’t!” You weren’t sure if it was you or Blurr who yelled, maybe you two yelled together.

”Yes. I have always been intrigued by other life forms. I have harvested viruses and massive weapons destruction… But having a real pet for the first time is just too appealing for me to pass.” Shockwave walked up to you and you shivered under his red optic, freezing on your place.

”A human femme that I get to analyze and observe. I find this subject most interesting. I want to know everything about your kind and then…!” He raised his servo towards you and you flinched and covered your eyes in fear. To your lesser fear he just moved your hair out of your face with his sharp claw. ”I will take you apart and to your limits…!”

”Y- you can’t! I’m not a guinea pig or a dead frog ready to be sliced open! Y- you can’t do it…!” Your voice broke down as tears rose to your eyes in pure terror of what the maniac war criminal before you had planned for you. Blurr saw your distress and glared at the menacing purple mech, pulling against his rattling chains. ”Shockwave, I demand you to let her go! You’re scaring her with that nonsense!”

”Don’t worry, I won’t open her up just yet. As much as I would love to experience human organs first hand, that has to wait. I have some tests I want to run through her first.” Shockwave confirmed your worst fears real and you choked on your sobs.

Could this really be Sir Longarm Prime who you two had looked up to all the time? Was it all fake? Those kind smiles, a nod of approvals and praises when you both did something better than expected? You couldn’t think about it without bursting to new tears.

The cruel Decepticon ignored your cries and turned to look at Blurr. ”As what comes to you agent Blurr… You brought me human, but now your services are no longer needed.”

It all happened so quickly. You screamed as Shockwave made his way to your lover. Blurr backed away as far as the chain would let him and when he was on Decepticon’s reach, he ran around him faster than your or anyone's eyes could see. You knew he wasn’t going to let himself be taken away from you.

Shockwave somehow tutted at him, bent down and with a flick of his servo broke the chain off from the ring on the ground and he yanked hard. Blurr fell head first on the ground, the hit stunning him and you cried out his name, fearing for his safety. The larger mech pulled the chain with both if his servos, cruelly dragging the blue speedster across the hard cold ground, his leftover paint job leaving streaks on the ground.

”No! Let him go, don’t touch him! Please, please don’t hurt him!” You screamed as Shockwave picked up your lover over his arm and walked to the cell’s door. Blurr shouted and kicked, but he was no match for the bigger mech.

You cried after them as the cell’s door was slammed shut and you were left alone to battle against your restrains. You screamed and screamed, your voice echoing in the vast empty prison halls until your voice gave out. You fell limply on the table, exhausted by all the things you had to take in in such a short while sucking your strength. You started crying and praying for all the Gods you knew and Primus.

Please, please, let someone come to us…! Please don’t let us die here…! Please don’t let my Blurr die…!

#transformers animated #tfa #transformers #Blurr #Shockwave #Longarm Prime #Reader #Reader Insert #Prisoners of War #my story #writing #Enjoy! #This is going to be dark!

[commonalex]

Savory

-Where to, bud?

-Fill it up.

-Ready for a trip, ain't it so, Nico?

One quick "shut your hole before I fuck it" finds its way before my teeth but fortunately I remind myself that whatever I do I can never escape the gas pumper's son urge to chat even if it takes me stealing the pump from the tank to shove it up his dirty ass mouth.

-Just for a dive, you know. The beach here got filled with tourists and the sun will set when I get to the next shore.

-You're living the life, Nico boy, no joke. Not like us, working and melting away from the sun like pigs in the midst of September. Fuck that shit, man.

-Aha, I see.

Just before I go inside to bake myself in my good ol' Fiat and get lost far far from his gossip hungry mouth, I remember that I have to rely on his ass. It's the third day that no one in the town can use the phone and no one cares enough to ask why. I give him my frequency where I'll listen on the radio just to notify Sofia if anything crazy happens to me. Not entirely sure if he heard or understood even half of what I just said but pretty confident that he purposely delays me to keep his creaking voice running, soloing to the point of laying a curse at "these damn phones and their government plants to make them mo-bi-le" and asking extremely not subtly about what is already news all over town.

-You're shiting me! Congrats, Nico boy! Wish your wife good luck with all those diapers coming. Finally you're to start a family yourself!

I don't know if he forgot my Tito for real or it's just him being a clown and at this point I barely care. Everyone has him as a dumb fuck either way. In fact I'm only doing a favor to his father that I haven't talked to him the way I should or biting his hands with my closing door.

It's over five o' clock and the road to the shore is nicely empty. My Fiat has a hard time having the sun whipping its ass as its swinging above the sea to my right. I dug up a radio station I recently lost with some old songs drowned in noise that I can't blast in the car with Sofia and the kid because the give them the headaches and food for nagging. Notes traveling around my seat really give me space and loose my hands from straggling my steering wheel and I'm checking cool as hell the back seat from the mirror to make sure I didn't forget my swimsuit or my surely expired sunscreen. I can barely see it beneath this sea of junk and empty water bottles from our last trip as a family. I can't recall when that was exactly, but it can't be that long if the back seat is completely filled with sand from Tito's feet cause "slippers pinch his toes". I swear to God I'll be damned if I ever understand this kid.

It must've taken a minute or so to catch the song change on the radio. And what a song if the synths and the drum machine can kick my head back to my soggy seat to return to my old job at that furniture store I was back in the day, just in time for Sofia to call me and tell me the waters broke. The road's zig zags around the hills wave goodbye and I push the gas along the straight line in front of me. The tar got sprayed gold and it tinkles my eyes along with the turquoise waves racing me all the way; absolutely nothing like back then when I was locked by my stress and my blood was boiling from agony. The car couldn't fit me (brand new at the moment, not a scratch, such a beauty) until the house and then back into traffic, dragging myself closer to insanity by Sofia's moaning that keep on ringing to my ears to this day. Us two running in the heatwave till the emergency room, scared that Tito might join us in the back seat. There's still the scratch I caused by storming the hospital. There's still the memory of me cursing the religion out of me when I saw that later.

"Nico, take me back".

"What are you talking about? We are here".

"I'm scared, Nico, Let's go home. Please".

"No reason for it, we talked this out a thousand time. That's the finish line".

"I don't want to lose him. I won't bear this crap again".

"It's all good, Sofia. I promise".

Maybe I didn't use these exact words that day. I don't even remember if half of what I was saying were making any sense but I do remember me screaming my lungs out to innocent doctors and nurses while she was sitting comfortably in her pain with a look in her eyes designed to send nothing but shivers down my spine. I made it by stealing a kiss on her salty cheek as I was trying to keep up with her stretcher just so we go in together and get out us three together.

The radio host squeezes his hoarse and monotonous voice right in the end of the song to announce the song's title and singer but I'm all out of brain to pay attention. My fingers feel numb around the steering wheel and the rest of me stands sweat dripping in his place, staring at the dirt road boiling behind me. It always happens to me. I could have Sofia right beside me telling me the name of the song and my head would instantly erase it from existence because the picture of me and her holding Tito like a hot bread bun back in the house hangs above my eyelids. Her crying only from joy and me smiling nervously all the time. Holding Sofia on one hand and Tito on the other on our broke couch we still have in the living room. All of the uncertainty, all of the doubt if I could manage to balance all for a little man that fits in my palms driving me nuts in the cutest way then and in the most worrying right now.

The gas pumper's son doesn't respond to my test signals and I lose my turn for the next shore. No biggie, I say to myself, I'll do an 180 and everything will be fine. The road however had other plans, cause I can't find it anywhere anymore, the sand covered it pretty easily. No tar on sight, no nothing. I pull my baked skull outside and take a peek of all those fixed pink waves of sand stretching to everything the sun touches. I'm surprised that Ostia is somehow still on my mirror but I can't figure out where exactly I got my dumb self on the map and the good ol' Fiat has stepped in the sand for good. I set the thin line of sea on my right as compass and turn the key full of hope. I get a couple of meters deeper but the wheels are screeching, digging their graves. I officially can't go neither ahead nor back home; especially after all the shit I left back there because I decided to go swimming. Sofia's not going to stop at my insensitivity this time, especially right after she found out she is pregnant. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know what she seeks from me. I don't know if she gets my situation at the moment by asking me to be more "open" to her without her understanding that this is the way to get everybody hurt. Her, Tito, even the gas pumper's son with the audacity to sell pure ass water for petrol.

There's not a single thing on me not covered in sand as I melt my palms away by pushing the car. I get it out of the holes just to drop it to another ten meters ahead. I keep on pushing so desperately my knees get buried and I can hardly curse my luck for putting me right here, right now or letting my strength fade away from my body- in general. I lash out like a spoiled little fuck at the doors and get one of them opening wide open with empty water bottles falling defeated. Not a single drop of water in them at all and nothing of real value in all this junk of the back seat but a backpack with boxers, t-shirts and shorts of all kinds. All bad, all old fashioned and all mine. I never was this farsighted or this lucky all my life. Never.

I set my self free from my shirt and pants and throw them back to dry whilst I try one of those old ass tees that fits like a glove if I stop breathing for the rest of the day. I look down to see if I put it the wrong way but it was ok, just not the right t-shirt cause it's the one with the blue stripes.

I spent all morning eating my nails, watching the clock ticking. I couldn't wait and wished for something to happen to call this off. I called the shop to play it sick just so I could breathe in and breathe out my excitement without any distractions. I was looking at myself in the bathroom's mirror and practicing the "speech" I had written. I was getting mad, I was improvising and I was giving up all day without any hope. The sun dropped and Sofia came in late (and gorgeous) as always and kissed me besides the place where taxi drivers where fishing gullible tourists and judging the ugly blue stripped tee I chose to wear to play it like it was a date just like any other. Of course she got it figured out on her own and she tolerated me and this monstrosity until we hopped off the tram and sat on the worst set of pebbles we could possible sit, right before I interrupt her history of her fight with her mother to dig up the ring from the sand.

"Are you kidding? Because these stuff are quite laughing matter, you know".

"I know".

"Is it fake? The truth, Nico".

"Put it on and tell me".

"This better not be another unfunny crap from cause if it is, I'm telling you, I'm gone".

She did put it on, she did tell it was real and she did left with me to her place. I still remember her laugh every time the ring was slipping from her fingers. I still remember rivers of sweat washing me the next morning next to her as we were looking at the building outside glowing from the sunset. She was asking me if we could make it. I was cooling her down and telling her I would do my best for her, for us. That I would do what I had to do to not get stuck like our parents did. We would not spent all of our lives in an office but instead we would casually catch a ship or a plane and travel the world. She smirked all the way through and responded to me with "whenever it is, as long as a fan is hitting us" because the weather was just like now. Ten years ago, give or take.

Radio catches nothing but noise for a while now. I'm pressing the mic to call the gas pumper's son but still nothing on the other end. I should have known better than counting on a dumbass like him because I only hurt myself and I ultimately give up on trying to communicate to light a cig.

My head got so numb from all the thoughts running inside I can't enjoy the sun dropping behind me. All I needed right now was a dip, just to get away for a moment or two and figuring out the rest but I guess I had to have everything turn to shit. I'm searching the exact point where I actually fucked up everything but the sun touching the horizon made me realize I torture my mind in vain. Whatever got me where I am right now doesn't matter. I could try to find the words to express how I feel to  Sofia, Tito or the baby and fail miserably each time because all they really need to hear from me is that "all will be fine".  But that's not really the point. The point is that I sit in a fucking wreck of a car with half a packet of cigarettes and all of my stuff in the trunk, disconnected from everyone and everything, without any inconvenience whatsoever. Like things rolled out as I wanted them. Like I should follow this route from the start. Like I should never really reach the shore.

I was still a kid when father came with his "new" car, a stretched out Lada with the color of green vomit which in my eyes it always looked like a bin. My father had a really creepy love with that car to the point where he was telling me to not put the seatbelt on because I would "stretch" it. His obsession made me almost envy this awful bin, feeling joy when it was failing to start half the times. My father knew that and made me help him every single time, made me listen his cute words for this piece of junk that "tries to live, that poor thing" and the rest of his vocabulary which was limited to my ability to "hold the flashlight like a fag". However, his biggest hit should be the one where he was telling me again and again that "I'll only understand him when I get older but it will be too late".

The record continued to skip in my teens. It never became understandable as it became tedious and cliché. There was no meaning behind these words, they all came out like thick air from his mouth but still they made me feel like a piece of shit. Mom saw my relationship with him wearing off everytime we were fighting and she always would try to convince me to "take a step back", to "become a normal family again" and I'd always respond with something vague when I should lash out on her for taking the side of a grumpy old fuck instead of her son.

I reached a point where I was waiting for a cause to open my mouth against his ass but every time my mother prevented me right at the last second; except that noon of a September when her hand could never reach to pull my sleeve. She was in the kitchen preparing the fish for the ban and I was returning home filled to the top with happiness because after a summer buried in books and studying I finally passed my exams for the uni. I found my father, like every afternoon, bent over a bucket cleaning a rag he used for the car only in the yard. I was watching him from the porch with my palm hiding my sardonic laughter I had all morning. I was waiting him to screech with his almost girly voice to "pick up my legs and help, cause all I do is eat, shit, sleep", just to hit him with the news that I was going to be a radio operator.

"And? What do you want now? You want me to pay you just so you can play it sailor? Leave me the fuck alone".

I'd be lying if I said I know what he really said to me, but the truth is that I felt an accomplishment inside whatever he may screamed. What I was looking for was server exactly in front of me and I started shouting, he began to shake his hands up and down like he prepared to fly and my mother kept on throwing fish in the sizzling pan.

"Is it that difficult for you? It's not like you don't want to get rid of me at all times and shit, right?".

"Get the fuck inside and stay there. You came with a smirk like you won the lottery and now you dare to talk shit. But how can you understand about money and all that? You can't. Never could, never will, but don't you worry, you'll only understand me wh-".

"Ok, ok, when I get older and all that nonsense. You keep busting nuts all these year saying that, you never got bored of that?".

The last one must have hit him hard enough to bring him back, like really back. As if he was younger again and strong enough to hit a nineteen year old in the face easily. A nineteen year old that waited half his life to return the favor.

But I did not. The sick joy I was feeling before dissolved when I grasped his left arm from the elbow. I stared at the wrinkled skin in his palm with the spots and veins that looked like mountains on it. I had his pulse on my fingertips echoing quick but pathetic. I turned to look at him and I no longer saw an antisocial and absurd grumpy fuck that was struggling in every way to show his little value. I saw a fallen, perhaps emotionally wounded man without enough consciousness to prevent him from situations like this one where he stands helpless and pitiful in front of his own child.

I had no more anger in me. I only felt bad for the years of my life I lost taking this person seriously simply because it happened to be my father. That's why I left his hand and let him sink in his confusion, trying to find words that would provoke me. From what he said, I only kept the " I swear to God I'll be damned if I ever understand this kid" as I was packing up my stuff in two bags to catch a train that was already gone. Last time, I saw him in the car dragging clothes and shavers from the semi-open trunk of his car, while my mom was on the porch trying not to drown in her own tears. The house was reeking burnt fish when I lying my mom in bed, giving her a hug and a promise that I would never be like him.

It's been a long time since then, but not enough to stop thinking about it, it seems. I do not know whether or not I eventually kept my promise and at this point I really don't care. What's really important now is the way the wave is tinkling my legs and how the breeze makes my lungs bloom. That's why I let the water drift me deeper as I close my eyes and nose. I dive.

"Come on, Nico boy, do you copy? Where are you all day? Do you have this shit open or not? Your wife's here with the little one, come get them ".

"Nico, please, if you hear this come back, we're worried. We will do whatever we can. Whatever you need. Together".

"Dad; Dad are you there? Please respond, I miss you. "

#poetryriot #24hoursopen #abstractcommunity #poetryportal #writerscreed #twcpoetry #savage-words #illustrans #recognizingthevoiceless #bitsofstarglow #electricexhibition #story #prose #writing #prose poetry #poetry #poem #dialogue #poets on tumblr

[bigeyedchangelingchild]

Religion rant. Beware of Heresy below the cut. Also I will mention Suicide near the end.

So back the February before I came to UL I said my shahada. And I’d say I followed well enough to the best of my ability for a few months and sort of fell out living in Ireland, because I felt anxious about it, I thought it’d be easier here without living at home, but literally everything except prayer my mum was fine me doing, she usually bought halal meat anyway, and stuff like that, just wasn’t that removed from my life already. But in Ireland, people were drinking and I was pressured for my modest dress, and living at home, even prayer, my mum either didn’t hear me, or assumed I was just singing something, but here I had roommates, and they weren’t ambivalent about Islam, most Irish people have “thoughts” about islam that are :/

So I moved away from it, I also moved back to the religion I was raised in somewhat, my Irish teacher invited me to a Beltaine festival and it was honestly amazing, I wore a straw skirt and mask and danced to welcome spring, it was how Samhain was when I was a kid, but with more voyeurism. 

Today I saw a Muslim man (two actually, but I only really talked to the one, the other one only came out after) and they talked to me about Islam and I said the shahada again (re-affirming that I deserve hell essentially, because like what a sin to say shahada twice and not follow the Quran.) 

He asked me why I’m not Muslim and I can’t answer, I said I don’t know I said I’m scared, and I am, but I also I am I’ve said shahada I on some level do believe Mohammed as a profit, I don’t understand why this is so complicated on me.

I’m going to share some stuff I’ve never shared and I somewhat believe is bringing responsibility of any harm done by sharing it so I’d appreciate not replicating or sharing what’s written here as much as possible, I know it’s the internet, but I’m in a wierd position needing to talk, but not feeling comfortable talking to anyone I know in my religion.

So to my original religion, to my faith I was raised in, the basic tenant is that there are multiple gods and goddesses (or angels, or spirits or however you may call them) and they have no limitation on communication with humans. Essentially people do not need to spread their word because they can do it fine themselves, they are not all powerful, and they are not inherently good, in fact good and bad does not exist all things are capable of creating harm or helping. I was given mostly free reign that what I believed was what made sense to me, I never was told I had to think a certain way, there were things taught to me, the Béan Cranóg taught the children (about 12 of us were raised in our “coven” I’ll say) about the cycle of life, (it’s born it lives and it dies) and how our actions affect others. And the festivals had other aspects, for Samhain winter and summer (or two adults dressed as them) would fight and winter would win, and someone would explain that the fight would happen again in spring, and that they always fight, and that they cannot exist without each other, without winter there is no summer, without summer there is no winter, without death there is no life, etc. Those fighting as winter and summer would make arguments why  they should win, and we would learn what we get from them. 

We had chants, I won’t share because that would be very much against but one was about how we change seasons, light a torch and change foods, one was about the goddess that changes all he touches, and one was about how we all will return to the mother and father, and how we came from them.

We burned the wicker man and had a feast of an animal roast on a spit and root vegetables, typically a lamb but also sometimes a pig, always the entire animal, that was a really important part of it, the community comes together and shares the food, and part of it was about how the animal represented our continuation of the cycle of life (why I say I can’t be vegan/vegetarian for religious reasons) sometimes one of the families would do a play of one of the old gods stories, like the children of lir stuff, (google can help there) but not always it wasn’t required, just something nice, and then we had a fire all night, with non-alcoholic cider for children and beer for adults, everyone could go to bed whenever once the ceremony was over.

We would dress as animals also.

Also, we had a thing where Saint Patrick would come and try and convert us to Christianity and we would chase him off and burn his hat and robe and sing a pagan once again (to the tune of a nation once again).

The thing is I fully believe 100% all the things I was raised with, and I had a goddess who spoke to me through my whole life when I had questions or anxieties, and she told me at the end of the year before I first said shahada I will find community in Islam, but now I’m stuck  because I don’t know what she meant, she can’t mean Islam is correct because she’s told me things directly contridicting the Quran, but she told me that, so what am I doing?

Secondary religious experience (suicide stuff here turn away if you need to)

When I was 12 I attempted suicide, and I broke my arm in the attempt, a man came to me and helped me, he told me his name was leaf, he took  me back to my mum’s house and he brought me a sense of overwhelming calm. He told me he had been working in the garage in the house down the block from where I was and that he came when he heard me, my mum later knocked on all the doors in that area but no one had heard of him, so I feel fairly confident, (and I don’t want to be challenged on it I know it’s sounds ridiculous please leave that part alone) that he was a God (in the pagan since) which is something I also can’t reconcile, and now I’m saying yes there is one God but I don’t know if I believe it, but it’s less that I don’t and more that I wholeheartedly believe contradictory things.

#please let me know if you read this #this is stuff I never expected to share in my life #please don't burn me

[taylorharrysversion]

Girlsies hcs i can think of and worked on at 11-12 AM last night

fun fact before we start: Kathrine (Joesph’s daughter) actually died in 1884. Who knew?

Kathrine Pulitzer

Lesbian

Her favorite show is The End of the Fxxxing World

“I’m so gay for alyssa like wtf?”

“We know kath”

She and Spot are saltmates

“Hey, madison? Who sings that song?”

“Bruno Mars”

“Please let him sing it”

Legit when he’s doing hw

“Kath, stfu. I’m trying to think”

“Yeah i know i can see steam”

After Spot finally gets a bf

“Gross”

“I mean at least i can get someone but yeah, me too”

“ BL OCK ED”

Jack and Kathrine have dated before

She was confused

He was helping

Chaotic Good™

She fucking loves her siblings and they all accept her

“What a lovely day to be-”

“Gay”

All six of them say it at once

Her mom’s chill with it

Dad not so much

He doesn’t shame her

But he isn’t gonna try and force her to be straight cause honey he knows she’s deep into the gay hell hole

She wears buns constantly

Also when she doesn’t wear makeup she looks like a goddess

“Wow you should stop wearing makeup more often. I may actually go straight for once”

“Fuck off spot”

Whenever she and sarah finally get together

“well my saltmate and my best friend are together who would’ve figured.”

“Spot leave my lesbian ass alone you gay irish boy”

Cuddles

Kathrine is very loveable and anyone who says otherwise gets beat by the guys

Doesn’t matter how they get beaten

Just know these boys cherish their girls to death

Even if they’ve known them for an hour

“Wow ily to death tf”

Specs and Kathrine and the bestest friends ever okay

They have a treat yo self day

Whether it’s small or big

They will legit have a blast

Specs came out to her as pan after watching Deadpool

“Wow can you believe me a Deadpool have something in common?”

“What?”

“Being pan”

When she figured out she was the first person he came out to she felt amazing

She went home and told her mom everything about it

Her mom was pumped up for her daughter

Specs and Kathrine went to homecoming as friends together and left with their own dates

Specs and romeo

Kathrine and some chick named caitlin

Kathlin didn’t last too long

Turns out caitlin was moving

Theyre still great friends

ANYWAY

Specs told her about his crush on romeo

“He’s just so sweet and funny and ughhhhhhhh”

“I feel ya babe”

Then at homecoming they hooked up

Still together to this day

Kath loves their relationship

She calls them goals

Then in eleventh she got with Sarah

Theyre actually the oldest of the group

Her favorite artist is Dua Lipa

Why?

She’s a queen

Why else?

Shes in debate team

Also the school news

She wishes they had a newspaper but they wanted to be more “Advanced”

Also she knows whether she’ll win an arguement

She can just tell by the way the other person holds themselves

If she knows she lost she’ll nod her head respectfully and go on

She doesn’t let that get to her though

Her favorite subject is ela

Only really big musical she likes is DEH she hates the others

“Why watch some musical of the Heathers when there’s the original movie right here?”

Sarah Jacobs

Her fave subject is math

“Why are gays supposed to hate math?”

She and spot are besties

“I wish stars were out in the day too”

“You’re doing a lousy job as a lesbian if you don’t know girls already exist”

“Are you sure you’re gay?”

These two dated

It was because spot was confused

“Well this was fun, but i like guys more you’re the best love youuuuu”

She also dated jack

“Isn’t that awkward? Dating one brother then six months later go out with the other?”

“No”

“Jack you dumb fuck, haven’t you learned she has no shame don’t question my lesbian best friend and her logic”

She’s not too sure what she’s into honestly

Like holy shit guys are caring and their hands feel great

But like,,, girls are amazing

Spot just calls her a lesbo as a joke

Her fave youtuber is Macdoesit

“We worship queens in this household”

The jacobs’ already knew their first two kids were gay

They don’t care how any turn out as long as they finish school and live happy, healthy lives

They don’t have the time of day to tell them they’ll “go to hell” for being in love with whoever they want since they should be happy

That’s all that matters

“Hey mom, dad, i think i’m bi”

“Cool when you gonna bring a boy or girl over so we can meet them?”

Also after Sarah and Jack broke up Jack started dating Davey after dating another dude after Sarah (it was like two years later)

“isNt tHAt AwkWARd?? dAtiNg ONe sIBlinG tHEn Two YEars lATer Go oUT wITh tHe oTHer????”

“shUT UUUP”

Sarah knows the whole Bee Movie

She also has a shirt of the script

Doesn’t actually like musicals

“They just aren’t for me”

Prefers movies

True Neutral™

don’t get me wrong though

she worships Rent

“I thought you didn’t like musicals”

“leave me alone, Mimi’s coming”

allergic to animal fur actually

so she went all kim possible

“I have a hairless mole-rat”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“Be nice to Rufus”

Chowder is her childhood

so is kim possible tbh

Smalls 

She’s Medda’s only daughter

Everyone will fight for this kid

She’s actually younger than everyone else

She’s tough for an eighth grader

“YOU WANNA GO”

“Smalls calm tf down”

Favorite color is mint green

“It’s just so pleasing to the eye”

“So are boys”

“Race i didn’t ask for your commentary”

She wants to be in band but like,,, she only wants to play drums

Not the other percussion instruments

“Who wants to play those other lame instruments when there’s the drums?”

“Actually-”

“I DONT CARE DAVEY”

She listens very well actually

Also she remembers too many small details

“No one knows my middle name”

“It’s Aaron, what you talking about????”

She’s smart mouthed Delanceys’ a lot

They don’t do shit cause 1. That’s a kid and 2. That’s a girl

Their parents taught them better

Her favorite movie is shrek

“soMEBODY-”

“Smalls, please, it’s four. I need sl e ep”

Chaotic Neutral™

She’s attacked someone with a broom before

It was Jack

He jump scared her while she was sweeping the kitchen

Spot couldn’t breathe while medda and crutchie laughed along and checked if he was okay

Smalls laugh is a snort

“Who sounds like a pig?”

“Don’t call my sister a pig tf dude”

She’s not allowed to be around coffee

It doesn’t do anything really

She’ll throw the cup with the coffee still in to attack people if she’s angry enough though

I said she was chaotic neutral but i’m making her ass sound evil

She shares a room with crutchie

They have bunk beds

She’s top bunk

She hates that bunk but she understands why he’s bottom

She’s actually the youngest Medda ever adopted

When she adopted jack he was 15

Crutchie: 13

Spot: 16

Smalls: 10

She’s 13 now

She goes to her family for different things

Stories: Medda

Nightmare: Jack

Can’t sleep: Spot

Just wants cuddles: Crutchie

Theres different reasons behind these

For Medda she tells her stories about her exprience in theatre and Smalls finds them really nice since Medda’s voice is really soothing and she ususally falls asleep listening to her voice

When she was freaked out over a horror movie he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close and well she found it really nice, eventually falling asleep since it was warm there and she was freezing and she relaxed a lot too

When she first moved in she couldn’t sleep that night and went downstairs to get water and then Spot came down cause he couldn’t sleep either (it was 3 am) and he helped her reach a glass and he just let her crash with him for the night (she fell asleep quick)

When Smalls felt sick one night she went down and cuddled with Crutchie since she couldn’t sleep and she ended up falling asleep quickly like that

When her brothers friends spend the night she always tries to avoid the mess

But fails

One of her brothers will always drag her in

OKAY BUT WHEN HER BROTHERS GO OFF TO COLLEGE SHE IS SO HAPPY FOR THEM

When she goes off to college she goes to NYU for nursing

she’s confused too

“Okay so... guys are cute but like wow girls are too”

“We finally have someone attracted to girls”

“Mama’s a lesbian what are you talking about?”

#girlsies #smalls newsies #kathrine plumber #kathrine pulitzer #sarah jacobs #jack x sarah #jack x davey #javid #Newsies #newsies broadway #newsies 1992 #spot conlon #specs newsies #romeo newsies #spromeo #crutchie morris #sarah x Kathrine #newsbians #sarah x spot

[barnesthesarge]

I Found (Part Two): Reach

Bucky X enhanced!Reader

Warnings: talks about nightmares, killing people, violence, torture, etc. if you think I need to add something please tell me!

Summary: as someone trying to get their life together, Bucky understands why you’re not coming around right away. He’s helpful in every way possible but there’s something more to his actions, when you get taken away from him you start to notice that.

Y/N was up early that morning, she felt awful for snapping at Bucky but decided not to apologize, it could mean familiarity.

“Y/N, you’re up early.” Tony was seated at the kitchen table with Steve.

“As you are.” She replied and started making coffee.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” He asked, Y/N just then noticed Bucky standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

“I have no desire to talk of anything, no. Like you said, it’s early. I’m no morning person.” Y/N started pouring creamer and sugar packets into the warm mug.

“That’s why I’m suspicious.” Tony stood up and walked over to her, whispering, “These two told me you were screaming last night.”

Y/N froze for a moment, “Just the nightmares.” She bit her lip and sighed. She couldn’t believe they were bringing Tony’s attention to it.

“I think we should talk about it, maybe discuss good ways to, go around in order to help you, what you think we should do to help next time you have one.” He addressed the statement at Bucky, and she realized he knew about her rudeness.

“Tony, with all due respect, I think you should fuck off my problems. Put me on an empty floor if it’s disturbing my floor mates.” She sipped her coffee and he laughed.

“Y/N, you’re coldness and isolation isn’t going to solve anything. Besides, this is your team. You’re going to have to grow to at least tolerate them eventually, maybe you should spend more time with them, it’ll help you.” She rolled her eyes.

“Maybe when pigs fly.” She huffed and left the room.

“Maybe we should be more adamant on our invites to the weekly team dinners.” Steve mumbled.

“She’s scared. Just like I was. You just need to give her time.” Bucky spoke.

“She’s been here for almost a year. She doesn’t need more time, she needs people in her life again. When was the last time she left the building? Please you guys, try harder to connect with her. It’s not that hard once you get passed the whole attitude she hides herself with.” Tony stated, he went to leave for the elevator.

“What if she doesn’t?” Steve asked.

“Well then it’ll be clear I’ll have to get her the help she needs some where else.” He left in the elevator.

—————

“Ms. Y/L/N, tomorrow is the weekly dinner with the avengers. They are planning on getting Chinese food. Shall I tell them you agreed to go?” FRIDAY spoke over the speakers.

“I’m not going.” Y/N responded to the AI, she was currently researching again, trying to find all the new information on her parents.

It was something Y/N started doing months ago, keeping tabs on her family, but never reaching out. She monitored her dad’s Facebook, stalked her sisters instagram, and kept track of their whereabouts at all times.

“Ms Y/L/N, why don’t you ever reach out to them? Your family?” FRIDAY knew of Y/N’s doings, and reported them to Tony, Y/N didn’t care.

“They don’t want to see the monster I’ve become. Trust me.” She closed the browser when there was nothing new.

“You’re not a monster.” The AI stated.

There was a knock at the door, Y/N knew it was Bucky from the energy she sensed around him. He carried his footsteps softly, probably from his previous training, he was tense.

She opened the door and eyed his features, “Yes?” She asked.

“I um, I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t have come into your room like that. It was an invasion of your privacy and it won’t happen again. I would like to know other methods you’d like me to use in the future in order to not upset you.” She chuckled.

“I’ll ask FRIDAY to wake me up. Don’t worry about it. Thanks anyways.” She shut the door and he knocked again.

“Y/N, would you like to get dinner with me? Or like a coffee?” She studied his crystal blue eyes for any hints of bad intention, but didn’t find any.

“Look that’s nice and all but you don’t have to hang out with me to please Tony. I’ll tell him to stop.” He sighed and smiled.

“This has nothing to do with Tony and more to do with the fact I haven’t made enough effort to be friends with you. Last night proved that to me. I want to help you, trust me I know you need it, just like I did.” He fiddled with his metal fingers.

“Did you really just say you don’t know me enough and then say you know what I need?” She scowled.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I promise I’m sorry. I just-I want to help you and I know it’s hard when you’ve been hurt so much in your life. I know it’s hard to let people in when others built the walls up for you. You have control over your life now, you’re free. The best revenge is being happy.” Y/N considered this for a moment.

What good am I?

“Alright sure. We can grab a coffee in the morning.” He smiled warmly and Y/N swore she felt her heart skip a beat.

“Awesome, thank you! I’ll leave you be. If you need anything my door is right next to yours.” She nodded in response and closed her door.

“FRIDAY, wake me up if I have another nightmare.” Y/N ordered.

In the room next door, “FRIDAY, wake me up whenever Y/N has a nightmare please.” Bucky went to his phone and texted Sam.

How on earth do you talk to girls?

Big Bird (Sam Wilson): Oh shit come to my room for lesson one.

—————

Y/N cringed at the thought of going out with Bucky for coffee, what would she wear? Say? Do?

The last time she left the avengers tower was with Tony a couple months ago, they went to a book store because she mentioned she liked reading, it was a disaster. Not only could she not speak to anyone, but she had a panic attack when someone looked at her funny. Afterwards, she decided never to leave the tower again, and this was breaking that rule.

She texted Tony nervously.

Tony, Bucky asked me to coffee and I was stupid enough to accept, what do I do?

Tony: Come up to my office and I’ll help you. Is it a date?

What???

Tony: Okay just get up here.

—————

“So it’s not a date?” Tony smirked trying to get a rise out of her again.

“Tony for the last time, no! I think he’s just trying to be friendly because of whatever you said to him and Steve this morning.” She picked up a strange circular device and started messing with it.

“Well that’s good. You need to get out more anyways.” He took the device from her hands, “Don’t mess with this, it’s a bomb.”

“You have a bomb on your desk?! Tony what the hell! And don’t you think it’s a bad idea for me to leave the tower? What if someone recognizes me and like, calls the police or something? Not everyone knows I’m a good guy now.” She looked down at her feet.

“You need to take out this man. His name isn’t important, but the way he dies is. Listen very carefully asset. You were given these powers for a reason.” The man in the white lab coat was now wearing street clothes. She wasn’t sure why she had to kill the man, but she didn’t want to.

But she knew if she didn’t, they would punish her and the man. They would take him back to the lab and make her test her powers on him. She just knew it.

She left for her mission and knew she was doomed from the start. He had kids and a wife, she couldn’t do it. He ran out of his home and she chased him through a crowded plaza.

“You stupid whore! You can’t even follow orders right! New objective. Take him back to the lab, you have a car waiting for you in two blocks. Hurry up before the police come. You’re in trouble.”

It was too late for the man, once he was in the lab, he was tortured. People knew she existed. They were afraid of her.

“You’re lucky you didn’t catch the attention of the avengers, or shield!” He was angry at her, she was supposed to please him, he would’ve taken off the collar. But now her treatment would only be worse.

“I’m sorry sir. It was an honest mistake.” He slapped her, causing her to fall out of her chair.

“The only mistake here is you! I put too much resources in you for you to be a flop. You’re going to torture him. And you’re going to like it.”

“Y/N.” Tony waved his hand in front of her face and she looked up at him, tears in her eyes.

“Sorry I spaced again.” Tony knew of some of the things she was forced to do, and also knew it wasn’t her fault.

“What did you see?” He sat down beside her.

“My first mission again.” She eyed her pants, tears falling from her eyes.

“None of it was your fault Y/N, I mean it. Tomorrow will be a good time, I promise. And if it’s not, I won’t pressure you to go out ever again. I promise. Come here.” He pulled her in for a hug, and while she normally wouldn’t allow it, she hugged him back.

“Thank you Tony.” She mumbled weakly, she couldn’t escape her mind.

—————

That night Y/N decided on actually taking her sleep medication. She stared at her ceiling, thinking. It was never a good idea to think, she couldn’t help but think about her parents. Y/N pulled open her computer again to look at her dad’s Facebook.

“Ms Y/L/N, I believe you should be going to bed. Looking isn’t going to make it any better. Maybe you should talk to Mr. Stark about visiting them.” FRIDAY suggested.

“Get off my dick.” The A.I. didn’t respond, her father had posted a picture of her younger sister, it was getting close to her first day at beauty school.

Her sister grew up without her, and Y/N couldn’t fathom how bad it hurt her. She slammed the laptop closed and put it away, trying not to think about it.

At twelve years old, she lost her older sister, her hero. Y/N felt memories creeping up and stood up, pacing the room.

“Sargent Barnes, it appears Ms Y/L/N is in distress.” Bucky rolled out of bed instantly.

“I said to call me Bucky. Is she having a nightmare?” He went over to a mirror and made sure he didn’t look bad.

“No, Bucky, she isn’t. She is in distress.” He sighed and left the room, going just down the hall to her door, he knocked softly.

“How on earth did you hear me this time?” She looked nervous, on the verge of a panic attack.

“Hello to you too. I have good hearing s’all. Can I come in?” She moved to the side reluctantly.

“Yeah I guess.” Bucky realized this was the most they ever talked in a day, he wanted to break the record tomorrow.

“So what’s up?” He sat down on her bed, he looked around briefly, since the light was on he could see more.

Y/N didn’t have any decorations, just a desk, a bookshelf full of books, a laptop, and her bed. She had no photos or posters on the wall.

“Bucky do you, well actually this probably doesn’t apply to you. I, I keep tabs on my family.” She stated, Y/N stood tensely by the door she had just closed.

Bucky couldn’t believe she was talking to him, especially about something so personal, “Alright. Yeah that doesn’t apply to me, it’s been a long time since my family was alive.”

“My sister is starting college soon. I miss her so much, I just can’t believe I’ve missed so much. She was only twelve when I disappeared.” She took a couple cautious steps towards the bed and sat down, leaving at least a foot of space between them.

“How old were you?” He asked casually, she knew it was a way of trying to get to know her but she didn’t care.

“Seventeen was a bad year for me.” Y/N answered, he nodded softly.

“Why don’t you reach out, I’m sure your sister misses you.” Bucky watched her face fall.

“I’m a monster. I’m sure you understand. Tony told me some things about you. The feeling that what happened to me made me more than my powers, but made me into a monster, and it’s true.” He noticed her hands fidgeting with her pant leg.

“You’re not a monster. You aren’t what they did to you. Who you are now is who you were before all of this, but now you’re more. I get it, I spent a long time thinking the same thing about myself, you can’t keep telling yourself that.” She chuckled.

“I guess I’ll try, that’s all can do, right? Maybe someday I’ll be able to reach out. Thank you for talking to me.” He smiled warmly.

“Anytime.”

‘NEVER EVER’ Y/N thought to herself.

—————

(Message me if you wanna be added) TAGLIST: @animegirlgeeky @yafriendlyfangirl

#bucky barnes #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x you #fanfiction #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #mcu #marvel

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #173

“i like the sound of the broken pieces.”

Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? No. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use that. When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? Maybe? Favorite farm animal? Pigs! Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. Have you ever had kidney stones? No. Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yes. Have any of your friends ever cheated on somebody? *shrugs* Pin the tail on the donkey - fun or stupid? I loved it as a kid. Still would have fun. In your opinion what is one of the ugliest cars on the road? I'm not knowledgeable on car names, but those box-looking ones are definitely up there. Have you ever been on the very top floor of a skyscraper? NO. Have you ever won anything out of one of those crane machines? Yeah. Can you remember being taught how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you? Yeah, I don't think it was too hard. How many instruments do you own/have you owned? Three: Recorder, flute, guitar. Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No. Have you ever had an ear infection? All the time as a kid until I had tubes put in, then I had one from Hell itself early this year because my former doctor was a fucking idiot. Do you own or rent your home? Rent. Are your parents in good health? No. Well maybe Dad is all right, but he doesn't look to be in great health. He's too skinny. Have you picked up any new hobbies in the past year? No. If you have a significant other, how old were you when you first met them? Like, ten. How old were they? Eight-ish. Is English your first language? If not, was it hard to learn? Yes. Have you ever worn a costume for any reason other than Halloween? Dance recitals/competitions. Is there anything you’re a snob about? I don't believe so. Are you open to trying new foods or would you prefer to stick to foods you love and have often? I'm hesitant to try new foods. Have you ever had a ‘summer fling’? If yes, did it continue when summer ended? No. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? No. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? No. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Are you a vegetarian? If yes, how long have you been a vegetarian for and what are your reasons for being one? If no, do you think you’d ever like to stop eating meat? Not anymore, but I was for a couple months. I wish I could be one permanently; the way animals are butchered is horrific, and I don't want to take any part in their consumption. I see their lives as equal to mine. I'm not anymore for two reasons: 1.) Willpower, and 2.) my diet without meat is too carb-focused as I couldn't dedicate myself to enough vegetables (especially) and fruit. If for some reason you were were unable to get to a supermarket for the weekend (let’s say you were snowed in or something) which item would be the worst for you to run out of - toilet paper or toothpaste? Toilet paper. I mean both would be gross, but. I'd be more disgusted if I couldn't clean myself after using the bathroom, especially if, y'know. I could at least use mouthwash for the latter. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) No, and yup. Jason broke up with me over Facebook Messenger after a serious three-and-a-half-year relationship. Yeah, pathetic. Does it irritate you when people are late for things, or do you not really care? Not really. But I guess it depends on the occasion. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No Have you ever burned yourself while taking something out of the oven? No. I don't mess around with the oven. Have you ever made out in your room? Last time? Not in my current room. Have you ever injured yourself while you were under the influence of alcohol? No. When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? Idk. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven in a car? I guess on a highway maybe I accidentally approached 80 mph? Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? I think so. Are you a fan of retro things? Y E A H Have you ever used pastels? Yeah, made a few things with them in high school art class. What’s the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? Ohhhh idk... I'm a sucker for band tees especially. I suppose I'd be hesitant once it hits $40. Is it currently humid where you are? No. Who were the last people you hung out with? Just Mom. How many different colors have you dyed your hair? Black, red, purple. Do you feel safe where you live? Yeah. Where have you considered moving to? I'd like to move to the mountains once I'm independent. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Lol yup. Did you know I had ADHD? :^) Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Are you against abortion? Not in all cases. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Not maliciously. Back when it was a "thing," Megan and I "hacked" into each other's YouTube accounts to write lovey-dovey shit in our descriptions. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad when he left. If you only mean romantically, everyone knows who. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Not to my knowledge. What’s the last song you danced to? No clue. Do you tend to be self-destructive? Eh, there's a moderate chance when something goes wrong. Self-bashing thoughts are easy to let in. What religion are you? Theist. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license. Have you ever been shot? No. What is the coolest thing you can do? I dunno. Do you have anything from past relationships? Yeah, just like, plushies. And a small jewelry box. Do you like coconut water? Never tried it, and I doubt I'd like it. I hate coconut. Do you have a Nintendo Switch? No. At what venue was the last concert you attended? Idr. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? YES. Are you scared of snakes? No. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No. I have my two bottom ones, but I was told there's enough room in my mouth for them to not be a big issue. X-rays show none on my top row. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? Soft. Has anyone ever asked for your phone number, and you refused to give it to them? I believe so. Are you ready for children? Never will be. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Occasionally. Have you ever bleached your hair? Yes, to get it dyed. Do you like jelly beans? Depends on the flavor. Who taught you how to apply make-up? Myself, I guess? Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? House. Do you prefer Small Business Saturday, Black Friday, or Cyber Monday? Cyber Monday, man. Which do you prefer: iPhones, Android, Blackberries, or something else? iPhone. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No no no ew. Are there more photos or music files on your computer? Photos. Say something about the band/artist you’re listening to right now. I'm listening to "Professional Griefers" by deadmau5 ft. Gerard Way. I have no opinion on the band (this is the only song I know), but loooove me some Gerard. What is your favorite thing about the summer, besides the the no school thing? Just swimming. Are you similar to your sibling(s), personality-wise? How so? Nope. Well, my mom's eldest daughter is quite like me. We're both more quiet people that feel deeply and suffer from bipolarity. Do you watch amateur song covers on YouTube? No, but fun fact! I got into YT because Nicole wanted me to listen to "Before He Cheats" covers with her. I found the MM fandom, and it was all over. Which YouTuber have you learned the most from? About life and such, easily Mark. As far as obscure knowledge goes, Good Mythical Morning/Rhett and Link. What is your favorite type of church that you’ve visited? Visually, Catholic. What different types of churches have you visited? Catholic and Christian. What type of church do you hate or dislike? I don't *hate* or even "dislike" any just for their existence. Who would you want to be the flower girl at your wedding? My niece Aubree, buuut considering there's a 99% chance I'll be marrying a woman, her dad would never allow it. It might even be "too far" for Ash. What group are you most active in on Facebook? None. I pay most attention to the WoW ones I'm in, but I don't really take part, especially since I'm not currently playing. Are you ashamed of anything? Yes. What were your favorite Disney rides as a kid? I think it was called Splash Mountain? Have you read the entire Bible? No. How old were you when you first dyed your hair? Uhhh however old I was my freshman year of high school since middle didn't allow dyed hair. Do you dye your hair regularly? No, sadly. ;-; Can't afford to. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Pj pants, man. Do you think you have what it takes to make it big in the entertainment biz? HAHA NO. Do you have a job now? If so, what is it? No. Currently going through VR to hopefully change that. List 10 favorite girls’ names. Alessandra, Josephine, Evangeline, Chloe, Evelyn, Fallon, Heather, Amani, Violet, and Ellie. List 10 favorite boys’ names. Damien, Vincent, Victor, Luther, Severin, Alexander, Aiden, Jaxson, Shawn, and Jamie. Which stereotype do you fit the most? Uhhhh idk?? Geek??? Are you thankful for social media, or do you wish it didn’t exist? I'm thankful for it. Do you think social media is beneficial? Or is it destructive? It's perfectly capable of being either. Have you ever been socially awkward? Hi, I'm Brittany. How old were you when you started puberty? Around 11? Do you think of baby names you like often? No. What health issues do you have? B O I severe social and generalized anxiety, AvPD, chronic depression, bipolar 2, OCD, PTSD, I think ADD, vertigo, inactive MRSA, severe dry mouth, the humiliating excessive sweating, carpal tunnel in both wrists, we're tryna figure out the fuck's wrong with my knees, and moderate-severe tremors. Is that it???? What are some health problems you have had in the past? Insomnia seemed to fuck off thank Christ, ear infections. What are some of the best medications you’ve ever had? The medical combo that is partially responsible for saving my life is Latuda + Lamictal. What is your favorite pizza topping? It depends on the place that makes the pizza, but to be safe, I get pepperoni at most places. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Johny Paranormal is a sweetheart, but I don't watch him regularly. Most others I watch have at least/almost 1M subs, so I don't think you could call them "small." Have you ever made money off of YouTube? No. What was a video you watched over and over as a kid? Oh my GOD there was this guy who made a video to "Gasolina" by whoever-the-fuck and Nicole and I were obsessed with it??? Do you own a pair of fishnets? Gloves. Are you sore right now? No. Have you ever experienced depression as a side effect? Lol I'm diagnosed with it, so. Because I have bipolarity too though but was medicated for depression, my bipolar symptoms were worsened and thus sometimes depression. (Learned being on anti-depressants while simultaneously being bipolar is only destructive.) Have you ever been suicidal as a withdrawal symptom? I don't believe so. How old were you when you got braces? Idk, sometime in middle school? How old were you when you started wearing glasses (if applicable)? High school, I think?? Are you good at remembering names? NO. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? Few days back at the movie theater. A preview for a movie that took place in a psych hospital came on, so Mom grabbed my hand tight, knowing it gave me bad memories. I was all right, but. Woulda rather not have seen it. Movie looked stupid anyway. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. Block out sound and you hear everything so well. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I honestly feel I'm capable, but I won't. Do you have any clothes with spikes/studs on them? I have a spiked choker and a studded bracelet, but I think that's it rn. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Dead serious, I want to at some point get Darkiplier's first appearance/smile above/to the side of my left elbow by a really professional artist. I'll take my stanning behavior to the grave. Do you get exercise daily? No, but I really would like a treadmill. Something easy like that. Work my shit knees, too. Which emoji would you be most apt to dress up as? I don't????? know???????? Which do you think is better, DIY costume or storebought costumes? DIY!! You can get sooo creative. Do you stay out of stupid arguments online? I try to. I'll butt in though if I feel it necessary and/or beneficial. Do you want a new phone? Why or why not? More like I need one. Drops calls randomly, restarts at random, doesn't always do what I click. What book do you think should be made into a movie? Idk. Do you know anyone with a service dog? No. Do you like babies? Why or why not? Nooooo. Annoying as actual fuck, can't properly communicate with them, needy as hell, etc. etc. I'm not at all expecting anything more from them, they're babies, I personally just don't usually enjoy them. What is something most people don't know about you? I RP. Did you earn a title in the senior class polls? If so, what? No. How many teachers have bullied you? None. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No. Snickerdoodles or s'mores? S'mores! What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Webkinz. As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I don't believe so. Did you play with siblings, neighborhood kids, or by yourself? All of those. Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? YEAH. What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? Well, I went through a WoW addiction, so I obviously didn't hate it. I tend to enjoy single-player, though. Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? Sara. Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? NO BC I FEAR HUMAN INTERACTION AND JUDGMENT. If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I don't live alone. But let's say I did: No drugs, no smoking, female, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF, and by this point, you'd probably have to be my s/o. I'm almost 23 so am more interested in working towards settling down in a place with her versus nightly sleepovers with a friend. How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? Jfc a lot, I am PICKY. What is something you do every day without fail? Go to the bathroom when I wake up. What is your typical breakfast? Cereal or a meal supplement shake. Or nothing. Is there a TV show you watch habitually? No. Where do you usually spend most of your day? In my room. Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Yup, either a let's play (only background /usually/ if I've already visually watched it and I'm just revisiting) or music. Where do you usually get your groceries? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. How about your favorite berry? ^ Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? Compassionate. Care for more than yourself. Which trait puts you instantly off? Cockiness. Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? No one. Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? I can't currently as I don't have a source of income. If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? No. Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? When we got evicted, yes. Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will trust? There are some that I know are full of shit, but nothing's coming to mind at the moment. Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. Is there a book series you're currently collecting? No. Which website do you frequent the most? YouTube and KM. Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Not really... It's where we are now. Technology is truly the dominant species. If your connection goes down, what do you do? Restart the router. Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? Sure, like uh. Oh yeah lemme fucking hug YouTubers when they hug the camera and that sort'a shit. What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? Uhhh... I don't know about them no longer existing. Maybe this HUGE flash game site we used to go on. Do/Did you ever have your own website? For photography I do. Have you ever kissed an ex after you two have broken up? No. When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex? It's been quite a while, actually. Are you racist to any race? No. Can you break dance? No. Have you made out with anyone in the last 2 weeks? Yes. She was ready and it was the cutest shit on Earth because she'd never done so before and had no clue what to do so we were giggling uncontrollably. Literally one of the purest experiences in my life. Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven't shaved my legs since like June. Have you ever been professionally waxed? How did you find it? If you haven’t, is it something you’d consider trying? Eyebrows, yeah. It's a better way than plucking. What do you think of very cheap airlines, such as Ryanair? Would you fly with them or would you rather pay more for better service? Biiiitch no, I wanna feel safe. Does your mom like the last person you kissed? She loves her. Is there a secret you've never told your parents? Yes. Who last gave you their number? Uhhhh good question. Honestly, are you afraid to die? I mean I sure don't want to yet, but I'm not especially *afraid* of it. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, not a big fan. Did you get a car the minute you turned sixteen? Lol I still don't have one. What do you want to major in? Zoology. When was the last time you kissed someone who was younger than you? The 17th. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah.

#survey #quiz #questions #random