Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Warnings: pining, tfatws spoilers, Spiderman nwh spoilers, slight angst
Bucky saw you for the first time since the days following the final battle with Thanos in Sam’s favorite coffee shop in Louisiana. It was a tiny, hole in the wall and the coffee was mediocre at best. Sam only went there because his parents had their first date in the very same booth you were now sitting in.
Of all the places he had expected to see you again, well, it hadn’t been here. He had hoped in those first few months that you’d come back, show up on his doorstep like you had never left. He gave up on that thought, knowing he’d probably never see you again.
He imagined that very same smile you wore right now and how he’d tell you what he had never told you. All those things he had held inside. The things he should have told you when you showed up in Wakanda with Steve.
The space across from you was empty but there was a coffee waiting for whoever would join you. Bucky knew it was for him. He didn’t know how you found him, how you always found him.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Bucky took his seat and your smile only grew as you looked him over in a way that made him wish he had shaved this morning or done something with his hair.
“James, how are you?” You didn’t act surprised in the slightest to see him almost two thousand miles from his home. In your defense, you had never been surprised. Not where Bucky was concerned.
“Good, ‘m good.” He told you and you raised an eyebrow, looking him over again in a way that convinced him you lied when you said you couldn’t read minds. “I didn’t know you were back on Earth.”
“Not very long. Came to see you first. You weren’t in your apartment.” You asked in that way that wasn’t really asking. You did that a lot and in the beginning Bucky had presumed it was disinterest on your part. Now he knew that you never had to ask, not really.
“Sam wanted to see his family.” Bucky offered in explanation and you tilted your head. He knew what you were thinking. A lot had happened since you had left with Thor to join the rag tag group that called themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy.
“Things are better.” There was that question that wasn’t really a question. Bucky knew it was easy to tell by looking at him. He wasn’t the PTSD ridden nightmare you had left behind. He still had his moments but there was better ones now. Happy ones.
“How long are you staying for?” He didn’t mean Louisiana. He didn’t want you to leave and yet he knew you would. Your wanderlust spanned further than tropical holidays. You wanted to see the universe. As much of it as possible. He knew that.
“A while. I want to check in with everyone. Drink your coffee, it’s your favorite.” He didn’t tell you that his tastes had changed in the time you had been gone. He no longer favored bitter, black coffee. He knew by glancing at the cup you had already known. The frothy milk stared back at him. “Where’s Sam?”
“With his sister and the kids.” Bucky answered before taking a drink the vanilla hitting his tongue and making him hum. “You wanna go see him?”
“We’ve got time. Wanted to see you first.” You told him honestly, taking his vibranium hand across the table. “Missed you.”
“So why’d you leave then?” He asked before he could stop himself. He had grown slightly bitter in your time apart. Everyone left him. Everyone important to him. Steve was gone, Natasha was gone and here you were, popping up like nothing had changed.
“You didn’t need me as much as you thought you did.” You told him, not releasing his hand. Bucky had usually found comfort in your calm. He had gravitated towards you every time you had been near him. Now it grated on his nerves.
“Could’ve used your help once or twice.” He grunted and you only smiled. He sipped his coffee with his free hand and you mimicked him, sipping at your own. “Sam gave up the mantle.”
“Why did he do that?” You already knew. He could see it in your eyes. He saw it in your eyes the day Steve gave Sam the shield. The day before you left.
“Thought no one could fill Steve’s shoes.” Bucky grunted again, eyes on where your hands were joined. He pulled his own hand back, resting it in his lap. “There was trouble. A lot of it.”
“So tell me about it.” Bucky tried to explain everything. Explain Karli and John Walker and all that had happened. He told you about that kid, he really was just a kid, that John had killed. He told you about it all and how he had played into it.
You listened to it as your coffee grew cold and he found himself telling you other things. He told you about Yuri, how he felt about Steve leaving. He stopped himself before telling you how he felt about you leaving.
“He’s a good man. Sam.” Bucky finished and you nodded slowly as you took it all in. He waited for your response but nodding seemed to be all you were going to offer. “How much of that did you know?”
“Very little.” You admitted in a rare show of honesty. Bucky appraised you as you seemed to be thinking hard about something. “Why didn’t you call in the others?”
“The others?” Bucky asked in confusion and you blinked at him. He only shrugged. He wasn’t sure why it hadn’t crossed his mind. This was something he and Sam had to do together.
“Wanda could’ve helped. Clint, Peter or even Bruce.” You supplied and Bucky tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed.
“Quil was with you.” He said and then wondered if you had been with Thor all this time. You weren’t the type to stick around for too long. Something you demonstrated time and time again.
“Not Peter Quil. Parker, Peter Parker.” Bucky shook his head with a shrug and a genuine frown replaced your usual neutral expression. “You have been checking up on him? Right? Like I asked you to?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bucky said slowly and your frown deepened as you sat forward, elbows on the table. “I don’t know a Peter Parker.”
“Have you been forgetting again?” You asked softly and Bucky flinched back as if you had struck him. He didn’t forget anything anymore and sometimes that was the problem. He wished he could forget sometimes, wished the pain would be taken away when he couldn’t remember the loss.
“No. I don’t do that anymore.” He argued and you sat back, frowning again. He watched as your frown slipped away to something more neutral. You finished your coffee, indicating for him to do the same.
“I’d like to see Sam now, if that okay.” You told him and Bucky felt doubt claw at his mind. Was he beginning to forget again? He tossed a couple of dollars on the table and led you from the coffee shop.
“Look who it is.” Sam cheered when you stepped in behind Bucky. He was sat at the table with his nephews working on some sort of Lego set. He stood to greet you, wrapping you in a warm hug.
“Long time no see, Captain America.” You smiled and Sam’s grin only grew, his gap tooth making an appearance and endearing you so much that you hugged him again. “I missed you.”
Bucky didn’t feel so special anymore when he heard your words. He stood in the doorway with his arms folded and Sam only had to look at him once to know something was wrong.
“I spend months trying to get this hard ass to smile and one conversation with you turns him sour.” Sam berated and you shrugged, looking back at Bucky with a gentle smile.
“Can we talk?” You asked Sam and he looked to Bucky who only sighed, taking a seat at the table with Sam’s nephews. He engaged them in conversation as the pair of you slipped out the door.
“Something wrong?” Sam asked immediately, his carefree attitude long gone, his smile too. You only linked your arm with his, walking aimlessly away from the house belonging to his sister. “You know I’ve had enough trouble with Bucky this last while. I don’t need you helping him out.”
“Have you noticed the holes in his memory?” You asked and Sam stopped in place, looking back to the house. He had left Bucky alone with his family. “He’s not dangerous. I don’t think. He’s just forgetting.”
“What’d he forget?” Sam asked, still hesitating on going any further away. He had left his shield in the house. “Your anniversary?”
“Don’t be funny. He doesn’t remember Peter.” You explained, heart aching for the child who had been abandoned. He’d be almost college age now and you frowned.
“Space lord? The guy you left with?” Sam asked, evidentially catching up on your concern. “Man, he talks about you guys like once a week. Always on my ass about what you could be doing.”
You smiled gently before taking in Sam’s words, eyebrows furrowing again as your frown returned. Quil should not be their automatic presumption for a Peter.
“Peter Parker.” You said slowly and Sam shook his head. “Spiderman?”
“I shouldn’t be surprised you know Spiderman too. You’ll have to introduce him to us. Could always use a helping hand.” Sam laughed and you stepped back from him, tilting your head.
“You’ve met him. You know him.” You told Sam who shook his head. “Yes you do, Sam. He was there, in the battle. He was at Tony’s funeral. He’s just a kid.”
“I’ve never met Spiderman. Either has Bucky.” Sam told you slowly and you withdrew from the conversation entirely, a hand covering your mouth as you absorbed the information.
Excuses could be made for Bucky forgetting Peter. Shuri worked wonders on his mind but there could’ve been things that slipped through. Sam had no such excuse and that scared you. It scared you more than you were willing to admit.
Sam returned to the house without you, resting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder gently. “You’re not forgetting.”
“She seemed sure I was.” Bucky told him but Sam only shook his head, taking his seat at the table and continuing to help his nephews with their Lego. Bucky looked back to the door, wishing you’d be standing there, that same smile on your lips.
You didn’t come back.
Summer is officially here along with all the ideas I’ve been suppressing since college started back. So please accept the spam of fics I’ll be posting
Sambucky headcanons part 5
When Bucky’s had a bad dream and Sam’s not awake, he leaves the house. Sometimes he walks. Sometimes he drives. On very rare occasions he takes his motorcycle. He just can’t stand to stay in the house. Sam didn’t catch on at first, but when he did he was incredibly concerned because Bucky wasn’t leaving a note or a text or anything. Now that they’ve talked about it, Bucky knows to either leave a note or wake Sam up depending on the severity of the nightmare.
On rainy days when they’re feeling particularly bored, they’ll cuddle on the sofa and write poetry together.
Now that they’ve fixed the boat, the pair sometimes take it downstream a bit so that they can sit on the roof and watch the sunset and admire the stars with a bottle of beer each. Sometimes it’s purely romantic. Other times, one ends up pushing the other off the roof and into the chilling waters below.
Sam and Bucky’s newest addition to their joint hobbies is bullying homophobes anonymously online.
Bucky absolutely spoils AJ and Cass.
But Sam has warmed up to Alpine and spoils her.
Sam has made it his personal mission to blast Marvin Gaye whenever any of his songs play. This just ends up annoying Bucky. He likes Marvin Gaye, but Sam refuses to leave the subject alone. Unfortunately, that grin Sam wears whenever he cranks up the volume suggests he never will.
(Sam also bought Bucky Troubleman for Christmas)
As per popular belief, Sam definitely has a collection of Bucky talking to Redwing about absolutely nothing of importance. He just can’t help watching them over and over again and smiling.