(fluff with a tiny bit of smut)
I KNOW GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME BUT I WANT THIS NOW
‘Hey Sam! Need some help here?’ Bucky teased, watching his friend struggle trying to fix something on the boat.
‘Shut up and give me a hand, would you?’ Sam groaned.
‘Alright…’ Bucky started.
It’s only when he heard the buzzing of Bucky’s arm that Sam realised what he’d just said.
‘No, Bucks, no! Come on, man…’
But it was too late, Bucky had already thrown his arm on Sam’s lap, making his friend sigh.
Bucky was now laughing very loudly at his own joke and almost fell over.
‘You done, man?’ Sam asked, trying to repress a smirk.
But damn seeing Bucky finally making jokes and laugh made Sam so happy, if only Bucky knew how important he was to him and how glad he was to have him in his life.
‘Alright, sorry buddy’ Bucky said, still laughing as he took his arm back and reattached it. ‘Come on gimme that I’ll fix it’.
Bucky placed his hand on Sam’s waist as he slid behind him to take his place. He felt the man shudder under his touch and saw him close his eyes softly.
No, Sam was just a bit tired, he probably hadn’t even noticed Bucky’s hand on his waist, and even if he had, why would he care?
Bucky, who was still staring at Sam, hadn’t removed his hand from his waist. He was completely lost in his thoughts.
After a few moments, Sam finally turned to face Bucky.
‘Yeah, here you go… buddy, I’ll errr… yeah, I’m gonna sit here and… watch you repair that thing so I won't have to bother you if it happens again, I’ll know how to do it’, Sam said, laughing nervously as he moved aside, making Bucky’s hand slide off his waist, to sit on a plastic chair next to the other man.
‘Yeah’, Bucky mumbled, already missing the contact of Sam’s waist, his warmth, against his hand.
It took Bucky barely three minutes to solve Sam’s problem, which made Sam groan.
‘So you’re just not good with boats, are you?’ Bucky mocked, taking a seat on the chair in front of Sam.
‘Hey, in my defence, I never worked on the docks in 1943, man seriously what can’t you do?’
The two men laughed for a few seconds, then Bucky stopped and just stared at Sam.
‘What is it, Bucks? You ok?’
Worried, Sam placed his hand on the other man’s knee.
‘Sam, I-’ Bucky started, when Sarah interrupted him, which made Sam remove his hand from where it was.
‘Hey boys! Are you done here?’
‘Hey Sarah, yeah I just fixed this, Sam couldn't do it on his own!’
Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head, laughing.
‘Well forgive me if I don't have super strength’ Sam laughed.
Seeing Sam laugh made Bucky feel butterflies in his stomach, he hadn't felt like this since… well since Steve. And as much as Bucky missed Steve, he couldn't help but love Sam. It was the type of love that makes you feel complete, as if you’d finally found, in that person, a part of yourself that had been taken away from you, it felt like home. Steve had been Bucky’s home for a very long time and of course Bucky will always love him, but Steve’s not here anymore, and Bucky needs to move on. Sam has already helped him a lot: he has given him a home, protection, love, a new family. But there's one more thing Bucky wants… needs.
‘Alright, I’m gonna go take the kids for a little basketball match see you boys later! And don't break anything!’
Both men waved Sarah and the kids goodbye and waited for them to be out of view to continue their conversation.
‘So’, Sam started. ‘Where were we?’
‘We, errr, we…Sam there's something I need to tell you about me, something I never told anyone except Steve of course but… well he had something to do with it… I- wait I don’t know how to phrase that…’
‘It’s alright, Buck, take your time, man’, Sam almost whispered. ‘You wanna go somewhere more private?’ Sam asked when he saw that his friend was nervously looking around.
‘Actually, yeah, if you don't mind, it’s just, well, it’s hard to get it out.’
‘Ok, come on’, Sam said, getting up. ‘We can go in the little cabin, it’s not exactly a palace, but it’s comfortable and quiet’.
Bucky followed close behind Sam until they both reached the little room. It was small, true, but good enough for two people, there was one bed, a bedside table with a little lamp on it, a sink ant a toilet.
Sam let Bucky close the door behind them and sat on the bed, then patted on it for Bucky to sit next to him. The super soldier shily sat on the small mattress, as close to Sam as he could without it being too weird or obvious, then looked up to face his friend.
‘Promise me one thing, Sam, ok?’ Bucky whispered, looking down at his hands which were resting on his lap.
‘Anything, man, anything.’
Sam lifted his hand to place it on Bucky’s shoulder.
‘Don’t give up on me, Sam, I need you to promise me you won’t give up on me once I’ve said what I have to say, ok?’
Tears were now starting to form in Bucky’s eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks, but he held them back.
‘Come here, come here, Buck’, without waiting for Bucky to say anything, Sam pulled him into a hug.
To his surprise, Bucky didn't push him away, he actually wrapped his arms so tight around him that Sam now had trouble breathing.
‘I want you to understand…’ Sam started. He could feel that Bucky had started to cry softly. ‘…that no matter what happens between us, no matter what you do or say, I will always be there for you, and giving up on you is an option I have never considered, and will never consider, are we clear on that, Bucks? Hey, look at me, come on, look at me…’
Sam pulled away from the hug to face his friend.
‘I- I just… Sam… Steve and I we-’ Bucky started. He was still crying, and he was breathing heavily.
‘You and Steve? You what? You can tell me.’
‘Yes, I’m trying, we… we were, oh fuck, we were together back in the 1930s - 1940s, and even after that ,we… Sam, the last thing I want is to out Steve to anyone, but I want you to know that I am bisexual and I dated Steve for many years.’
Bucky had said this so quickly that it took Sam a few seconds to understand what his friend had told him.
Bucky had finally stopped crying and was now looking at Sam, trying to read his expression.
‘I, err, I didn't know about you and Steve…’ he started.
‘We didn't want anyone to know, we wanted this to be our thing and not share it with anyone. Steve was my first love, he was my first kiss, my first time… my first loss… and I will always love him but-’
Bucky was suddenly interrupted by Sam grabbing his flesh hand.
‘I’m so sorry that you had to lose him. I know how it feels to lose someone you love this much…’
‘Riley?’ Bucky asked, squeezing Sam’s hand.
‘Yeah… you’re not the only lgbt around here old man’, Sam laughed.
‘I- I had no idea… so you’re?’
‘I’m gay’, Sam admitted, smiling softly at Bucky.
‘You know, it's been six months since Steve… left m- left us, I’ve accepted it, I am ready to move on.’ Bucky sighed. ‘I have to move on…’
‘Bucks-’ Sam started, not really knowing what to say, Bucky meant a lot to him and the last thing he wanted was to hurt him by saying the wrong thing.
As he opened his mouth to speak again, Bucky grabbed Sam behind the neck and made the man face him.
‘Sam…’ Bucky whispered.
The two men looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, then it happened: they both finally closed the distance between them and, when their lips connected, everything felt good, everything felt right.
Soon enough, Sam and Bucky started caressing each-other’s bodies.
They unfortunately had to pull out for air after a few minutes. This little make out session had left them both panting.
Bucky was now struggling to look Sam in the eyes, he was ashamed, he felt like he was using Sam to fill the void Steve had left in his heart.
‘Sam, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this, you…’ Bucky said, getting up. ‘You deserve better, I’m not the right person for you, I’ve killed people I-’
But Sam grabbed Bucky’s flesh hand and pulled him back towards the bed, a bit too hard, and accidentally made the super soldier fall on top of him on the bed.
‘Oop, sorry, didn't mean to do that’, Sam laughed, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist.
‘Yeah, sure, Samuel’, Bucky said, trying to pretend to be annoyed, but giving up soon as the widest smile appears on his face. He loves Sam. He wants Sam. He needs Sam.
In a matter of seconds, the two men are making out again on the small bed, Bucky on top of Sam, his hands all over the other man’s body, wanting to memorise every inch of the man he loved.
Sam was a bit more shy and kept his hands in Bucky’s messy hair.
‘B- Bucky?’ Sam managed to say between kisses.
‘What? Bucky asked, still kissing Sam and sliding his hands under the man’s T-shirt.
Sam broke the kiss and forced Bucky to face him: ‘are you sure you want this? Because damn I do, but I would never force you to do anything you're not comfortable with…’
‘Sam, I do want this, I want you… god I want you so bad… this is the best I’ve felt in a long time, and I know we should take our time, I know good things take time, but I want this now! Come here…’
And suddenly, they were kissing again.
The next morning, Bucky woke up next to Sam, their clothes had been thrown a bit everywhere in the room, and the bed, which was too small for the both of them, was now a mess. Bucky couldn't help but smile at the scene, and having Sam’s warm body pressed against his made him so incredibly happy.
As he readjusted the covers over their naked bodies, Bucky felt Sam roll over in the bed. He had woken him up, shit.
‘Sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you’, Bucky whispered as he bent down to peck his lover on the lips.
‘It's okay… how did you sleep cyborg?’ Sam asked, playfully, sliding his arm around Bucky’s waist in order to pull the man closer to him.
‘Better than I had in a long time, I also didn't have any nightmares. I think you had something to do with that, pigeon head’, Bucky laughed.
‘No nightmares, huh? That’s good, come here, let's stay there a bit longer.’
‘Yeah… let's stay there…’
Bucky hugged Sam back and both men spent the whole morning in bed, together, relaxing.