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#the falcon incorrect quotes
bidisaster-thanks · 3 hours ago
Text
Sam: Bucky, truth or dare?
Bucky: Truth.
Sam: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Bucky: ...
Bucky: Dare.
Sam: Go to sleep.
Bucky: ...
Bucky: I don’t like this game.
45 notes · View notes
incorrect-fatws · 3 hours ago
Conversation
Bucky, drunk: Dogs deserve to live forever
Sam: ...and people don’t?
Bucky: Absolutely not.
42 notes · View notes
slytherclaw2005 · 5 hours ago
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Bucky: I got a birthday cake for Sam!
Sharon: It says “Happy 42nd Birthday Aaron!”
Bucky: Oh shit he’s gonna be 41 isn’t he? Or 46 depending on how you slice it.
Sharon: His name is Sam. Not Aaron.
Bucky:
Bucky: Do you think there is a guy named Aaron who would like this cake?
20 notes · View notes
Text
Bucky: I know you said you wanted nothing for your birthday but I couldn't resist
Bucky: *hands Sam a box*
Sam: *opens box to find it empty*
Sam: oh my god nothing! Just what I wanted! Thank you!
Bucky: you're welcome
Bucky, internally: fuck its escaped
117 notes · View notes
elephant507 · 5 hours ago
Text
*Sam and Bucky skipping stones on a lake*
Sam: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Bucky, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
50 notes · View notes
elephant507 · 6 hours ago
Text
Clint: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? 
Bucky: I'm a knife. 
Sam, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.
62 notes · View notes
elephant507 · 6 hours ago
Text
Sam: Bucky don’t you care about me?
Bucky: Shut up
Sam: We never talk
Bucky: Shut up
Sam: *hums*
Bucky: SHUT UP
24 notes · View notes
elephant507 · 6 hours ago
Text
Bucky, having an allergic reaction: I think there’s something wrong with the food
Sam: I think there’s something wrong with your face
25 notes · View notes
elephant507 · 6 hours ago
Text
Bucky: It’s all moving way to fast, here’s your key back
Sam: I never gave you a key
Bucky: And here’s your grandmother’s ring
Sam: She was buried wearing this
61 notes · View notes
slytherclaw2005 · 13 hours ago
Text
Sam, Sharon, Zemo, and Bucky: *out on the street*
Officer, talking to Sam like a dick: Sir, stop bothering these civilians.
Sam: I-
Bucky: *pulls out two dozen knives and starts strutting towards Officer Douche*
Sharon: *hacks his vehicle*
Zemo: *blows up ANOTHER FUCKING BUILDING*
Officer Douche:
Bucky, talking directly to Officer Douche: I think WE the ones bothering civilians now and YOU are bothering my *coworker* so fuck off why dontcha.
66 notes · View notes