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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months

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Google’s enshittification memos

[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]

When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.

Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:

The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.

https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/

"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."

And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.

How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.

When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.

People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:

https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/

Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":

http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf

Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/

How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:

https://killedbygoogle.com/

Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.

It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.

Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.

Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.

It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":

https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d

Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.

Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.

Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:

https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf

The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."

OK.

But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."

It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."

"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."

And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."

In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.

Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."

For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.

But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:

https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554

Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.

For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:

https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/

When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."

Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).

Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.

But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.

And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.

As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.

But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.

The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."

What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

#pluralistic #enshittification #semantic matching #google #antitrust #trustbusting #transparency #fatfingers #serp #the algorithm #telling on yourself

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long-live-astronerd-ghost-king · 4 months

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DPXDC prompt. Ghost King uses Uno Reverse Card

Ghosts are not a race of evil creatures that most people think they are. And Danny was really happy when the Infinite Realms were able to make peace treaties with most countries of the human world. Ghosts, however, are a very vindictive race. At least that’s how young Phantom explained himself to Batman afterwards.

It just so happens that a couple of hours before the event aimed at expanding intergalactic unions most of the JLeague members due to an emergency call went on a mission. Which means people who had any authority in Phantom’s eyes became unavailable for a while.

So Shazam and Phantom as the most known outside the Earth were assigned to greet the guests and most importantly to entertain the visitors until the founders of JL return.

According to Phantom, Batman, being such a good detective with a bunch of backup plans, should have known that Danny’s favorite cereal ran out this morning, that he was late for first class, and that after school he had a fight with his parents. No, seriously, aren’t so-called scientists supposed to be able to admit mistakes in their own judgment? Danny got tired of being constantly ashamed of their behavior near other ghosts. It's bad enough that his authority as a ruler is sustained only by the support of those Ancients with whom he maintains friendly relations. Average citizens still doubt that he is a is sufficient to claim the throne. He’s had enough of being accused of not being a full-fledged ghost. He’s not ready to hear rumors that he supports his parents' racist judgments too. In short, his day sucked. And all his ghostly nature now wanted to do something nasty to his neighbors to get rid of the tension.

Alien leader stretched out a hand to Phantom and Shazam. “Your Majesty Phantom, Champion of Magic. It’s an honor to meet you. I hope I learned the proper greeting gesture of the local intelligent race.”

And with that Danny’s reserve of conscience ran out. It’s a perfect moment to feed his need to be a little shit.

“The local intelligent race?’ Danny had this extreme bewilderment on his face. “Which one do you think..? Earth was the home of the Gods and of various inhabitants of the galaxy but it was a long time ago.”

Woman is clearly confused. Great. “E-Earthers. I think they’re called that.”

“Earthlings, intelligent race? You must be mistaken.” Danny faked a giggle. “Who told you that crap?”

“Phantom, what are you doing?” Batman hissed at him from an earpiece. Danny turned the sound off with a clear conscience. “I mean, seriously, there’s not a single serious study in the science library in this galaxy or any other galaxy that says humans are intelligent. Shazam, do you think they’re..?”

For some reason, Billy immediately remembered watching a man spend his entire salary on lottery tickets last week. And of course he was careless enough to shake his head and snort. That was all Phantom needed.

“Exactly. Earthlings don’t have to be intelligent to mimic the behavior of more evolved species. Surely you are well aware that Martians and Kryptonians, and many others have visited Earth at different stages of human development. My supervisor Clockwork and I have long been observing this strange species. In many ways, their behavior resembles a mixture of instinctive reactions of specimens from the 126 sectors of the nearest SBc Galaxy and several other creatures from planets of the galaxy KV59. However, even I, as an anthropologist with extensive experience of observing human species in their natural habitat, still have to explore and discover many of their secrets.”

“I do not understand. According to the documents among the delegation that greets us there are Earthlings. I mean I don’t question the scientific evidence of a respected Chronos or you, but why then..”

“Of course you don’t! It’s really quite simple. For the purity of the clinical experiment, which we are conducting now, it is necessary that Earthlings feel themselves ostensibly full participants of the «society» consisting of members with developed intelligence.”

“So, any luck, colleague?” Shazam, who realized that Batman would now skin them anyway, decided to at least participate in this theater so that the punishment would be at least deserved.

“Well, we’ve certainly come up with some interesting preliminary insights about the adaptive capacity of the human brain in limited contact with Martians. Of course, humans do not have real emotions to be full participants in communication, but their attempts and zeal are very inspiring.”

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Fentons watching a live broadcast of what was supposed to be an interplanetary friendship encounter are beginning to realize that if trying to punish a rebellious human teenager has always been difficult for them, the attempt to control the behavior of the 14 y/o half-ghost may become a nightmare not only for them.

Jack: Honey, I think Danny’s still a little upset about our old theories about the ability of ghosts to feel or think.

Jazz, sitting between them with the face of a man resigned to the chaos around her, could not restrain the sarcasm: Really? Why would you think that?

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dpxdc prompt #dpxdc crossover #ghost king au #ghost king danny

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terrythemerry · 5 months

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I just watched Wish (2023) and it made me realize something kind of sad about Disney’s treatment of villains.

So Disney has a long history of villainy from the OG Evil Queen who is willing to murder a girl just for being pretty to the misguided like Auto thinking he’s protecting humanity in Wall-E. They are mean, jealous, prideful, vain, and many relish in just being the worst of the worst. However every now and then we get a glimpse of more complexity. Zootopia’s Bellwether dealing with years of racism and mistreatment, Gantu trying to stop what he thinks is a monster in Lilo and Stitch, Up’s Muntz being a heroic explorer before paranoia consumed him, etc. The thing that makes me sad about these villains is that not one of them has ever had a chance at redemption or change in Disney’s eyes and nowhere is that sadder to me than their latest villain, King Magnifico.

(Spoilers below)

King Magnifico is the magical founder of a utopian society that accepts people of all races, religions, and backgrounds. Who created this wonderful place after what is heavily implied to be a violent invasion destroyed his homeland when he was but a child. This past trauma led him to study magic and become a powerful sorcerer so that nothing could hurt him or the people he cared about ever again. His magic is a protection that he extends to all who choose to live in the city. The city is vibrant with a colorful community full of artisans, musicians, and dancers. He takes no taxes from them, but does take their one true wish upon joining this society.

When given these wishes it is understood that he will ensure their safety and possibly grant them one day. Something important to note about the physical manifestations of the wishes is that they give off a warm and comforting aura as they represent some of the purest parts of a person’s soul. Magnifico has been surrounding himself with this magical comfort for a very very long time by himself and I don’t think it’s unfair to say he has become addicted to their presence. The wishes are giving him a magical comfort through the kind souls within them, a feeling he could’ve probably also gotten if he had spent more time with his people.

It doesn’t look like he ever really got the chance to commune with his people properly because somehow the society kicked off on his wish granting abilities. People had to give him their wishes if they wanted them granted and eventually the ones that he couldn’t grant in good conscience or out of fear started adding up so he began locking them away. Keeping them safe so no harm came to the people. The rare occasions that anyone else interacts with these wishes is during wish granting ceremonies that the people are borderline rabid for. With good reason, it is their souls they’re thirsting for after all even if they don’t really know it.

However, Magnifico clearly doesn’t see it that way. He sees it as he’s given these people a wonderful safe haven from the horrors of the outside world where they can be whoever they want to be, do what they want to do, make what they want to make, and still all they see in him is a tool to fastpass to something else they want even more than the peace he’s given them.

This is clearly shown early on, before any of his evil behavior starts to take root, in relation to his assistants. We get a expo dump after the first song telling us that Asha wants to become one of his assistant to increase the odds of her grandfather’s wish being granted as there is a correlation between past assistants and having wishes granted. Something important here is that there have clearly been many assistants, suggesting that it’s a revolving door position without really explaining why. Who would want to keep finding assistants over and over again, when really you should find someone who could do the job long term right? Well we get to find out the likely reason when Asha steps up for the role.

When Asha comes to interview for his assistant position he sees she is nervous, he tries to calm her down, and he even manages to relate to her through fond memories of her kindly father who he clearly knew. After seeing her true resolve to do good he decides to trust her with something few people in the entire kingdom get to see, the vault of wishes. To which Asha doesn’t even hesitate to ask, after politely being told not to prior, if he’ll grant her grandfather’s wish.

Magnifico is blatantly stricken by her request, sadly remarking that most people at least wait a few months before doing so a.k.a pretend to be interested in helping him rather than trying to use him to grant a wish. This is likely why the assistant job is a revolving door. Magnifico tries to find someone who he thinks will truly and selflessly fulfill the role only to discover time and again that people are just using it to get direct access to him to ask for a wish. Then he can’t trust their true intentions anymore and moves them along.

After Asha makes her request he does take the time to look at her grandfather’s wish but dismisses it as too dangerous because it is the vague desire to inspire the next generation. Clearly we as the audience know that her grandfather means to inspire them to do good, but we have to remember Magnifico has seen the worst of society. He has seen the darkest wishes and desires of mankind and survived them. He brushes Asha off telling her she’s too young to understand, which is honestly true. She’s lived her entire life cloistered in peace and comfort thanks to him and the rules he has made. She has never had to know war, strife, or hardship thanks to him, yet she doubts his decision without understanding the trauma that guides it. This is what I believe pushes Magnifico into his villain arc, something that I don’t think we’ve ever really witnessed in a Disney movie.

Usually a villain already is the villain by the time the film rolls around, even the twist villains. Lotso had already been deliberately sentencing other toys to torture. Prince Hans was already planning to murder his way to a throne. Evelyn was already plotting her revenge. Magnifico wasn’t though. He was the hero. He had saved his wife and a whole city’s worth of people from whatever drove them from the mainlands. He wasn’t physically abusing/mistreating people like Gaston even if he was vainly basking in their adoration.

When Asha pushes him on the wishes he pulls back from her, identifying her in his mind as a threat and treats her as one. He dismisses her and tells her that her family’s wishes will never be granted by him, but he will still keep them safe as he has been doing. Essentially meaning nothing will change for her from what it has been. You know a happy loving existence of complete acceptance and wholesome family life or as Asha interprets it, a fate worse than death.

His interaction with Asha triggers him, as she’s pushed at the flaws in his reasoning for holding onto the wishes. The flaws are true, but his mind is clouded by fear of a lack of control, likely stemming from the horrors he witnessed in his childhood when he had no control. He also likely has a bit of an addiction to the warm fuzzies that the wishes give on top of his fears. While he’s ruminating on that some massive wave of magic blows through the kingdom and messes with the thing he’s already stressed beyond reason about, the wishes.

Magnifico frantically searches for any answer, even considering a dangerous tome of forbidden magic that he knows is trouble before his wife manages to talk him down.

The fact that he could even be talked down rather than ignoring her outright shows that Magnifico does have good in him. He’s just reacting out of a genuine panic. His panic is only worsened by huge mob continuing to beg him for wishes in exchange for doing what should be the selfless act of defending their kingdom from what is essentially perceived as an attack. Not having any faith left in his people he turns back to the evil book to give him the key to stopping this perceived attack.

Just to be clear King Magnifico goes to the big bad evil book not to gain more power for funsies, but to try to find a way to stop a perceived threat. Everything he does from this point on, such as threatening his wife, can no longer be fairly tied to him, because as the movie repeatedly tells us he is under the EVIL book’s influence. His wife even looks through the same book to try and see if there is a way to break the sway she knows it has over him, but says she can’t because the EVIL book said no.

Yada yada yada and Magnifico is sealed inside a magic mirror and smugly told to rot in the dungeon by his previously loving wife.

Seriously?! What the heck?! This guy was the perfect candidate for rehabilitation. He wasn’t flawless, but he wasn’t a murderous psycho like most of the other Disney villains. Disney loves to preach kindness, acceptance, and good will with their heroes, but never does it allow the message of change.

I was shocked going back through the catalogue and slowly realizing none of their villains, regardless of how tragic their origins are, are ever truly allowed a second chance. The hero may offer it, but the baddy never is truly expected to change or reform. Which is honestly super messed up to me. People make mistakes. Some can be small/insignificant, but some are big and do hurt people sometimes. That doesn’t mean they can’t change for the better.

Now I’m not saying every villain is redeemable or good, it’s just a bit surprising that for all the messages of kindness and acceptance we haven’t really gotten forgiveness in 100 years. Seeing the “bad guy’s punishment” just deeply bothered me this time. Probably because so much of the bad that Magnifico does is clearly a trauma response and as a punishment for not acting appropriately to said response he gets sentenced to eternity is magical cell.

#disney wish #wish 2023 #king magnifico #wish magnifico #magnifico x amaya #queen amaya #amaya #wish king magnifico #wish asha #disney villains #100 years of disney

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zmediaoutlet · 2 months

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Hey Liz! Have you ready any good spn fic lately? :)

I have, and in fact I've been spite-reading. Have a curated wincest rec list you could share with anyone you like:

Bad Blood by astolat

Rating: E Word Count: 3,718 Summary: "Fuck me or I'm going to die isn't the world's best pickup line." // "I've heard worse," Dean said. // "You've used worse," Sam said.

Original post date, 02/22/2007

Reccing because: No wincest primer would be complete without an astolat rec. You probably get fined by the Wincest FCC, otherwise. The flaw in astolat’s wincest, if we’re allowed to say such things about our saint and founder, is that Sam and Dean would sometimes fall into the whole thing super easily — this fic dispenses with that problem with a good ol’ classic dose of evil sex pollen, and if magic makes them do it then it could be a hell of a lot worse than how delightfully they do it here. I’m laughing out loud just remembering one of the scenes. Joys.

Coast On Through by philalethia

Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 7,857 Summary: A post-first-time fic. With a lot of sex.

Original post date, 12/22/2007

Reccing because: This is a true all-timer wincest fic. Though the characterization is of its 2007 time, the Winchesters still feel like themselves, and more important feel like adults who are trying to navigate their very odd circumstances. A real classic of the brothers-with-benefits genre.

Keep Our Minds on the Sum of Each Other by lazy_daze

Rating: E Word Count: 9,593 Summary: N/A; provided tags are Bodyswap

Original post date, 12/26/2007

Reccing because: What a cheerful fuckin’ fic this is, for a fic about incestuous fuckin’. This takes the apocalyptic stakes and reels them back to a just deeply entertaining romp. Not too worried about the plot and much more worried about how hot these two are when they slam together, it’s a refreshingly non-angsty take on what it means that you just want to slurp on your brother wholesale.

Filthy Mind by rivkat

Rating: E Word Count: 26,384 Summary: Dean acquires unwelcome nightly visitors. Set post-Hell, without details as to how that happens.

Original post date, 10/07/2008

Reccing because: RivkaT is perhaps the all-time understander of the Weird Affect of Dean Winchester (As Played By Jensen Ackles) and the entirely destabilizing effect that affect has on the world. A real reality-warper. This fic deals with non-con and dub-con and who-knows-what-con and everything in between in a way that is more thoughtful than tawdry (although you can certainly enjoy the tawdriness as presented and the fic does not judge you for that). It also, thrillingly, deals with Sam’s alarm about the whole thing in a way which is fairly unflinching: he wants and does not want to want and also just really, really desperately wants-- Fans of Sheila’s analysis will probably enjoy this one.

seeing double by candle_beck

Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 5,127 Summary: Dean has a concussion and his better senses come and go.

Original post date, 04/24/2009

Reccing because: I know there are more famous and more favored c_b fics, but this one is such a supremely perfect scene that it should be at the top of all c_b rec lists. It isn’t the catastrophic misery or assholery or intensity of some of the other big hitters but this just has this searingly true and singular experience coursing through it: to wit, that Dean is hurt and Sam is upset and then sorry and then in love. Which isn’t a half-bad summary of Supernatural itself, really.

The incestuous courtship of the antichrist’s bride by fleshflutter

Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 48,000 Summary: Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that's when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks.

Original post date, 06/08/2009

Reccing because: It is so, so rare to find crack fics that work. This is crack treated like crack and also taken entirely seriously, which is a rare balance to find. When it needs to be horror it works, when it needs to be ridiculous it works, when it needs to be hot as fuck it works, and never has the phrase ‘apocalyptic cock’ been so appropriate and so wonderful in context.

I’ve Got A Hand For You by Edwardina

Rating: E Word Count: 14,938 Summary: Sam's inexperience is showing, and Dean helps the best way he knows how.

Original post date, 03/12/2010

Reccing because: This is underage par excellence, as wonderfully weird and vaguely creepy and hot and alarming as it should always be. Dean’s 19 and Sam’s 14 and they should not but they are, and if that isn’t just a summary of Supernatural as a whole I don’t know what is. On the face of it this is a vaguely gnasty first time fic, but what sets this one apart is how earnestly real it is — the grimy-but-not-OTT reality of the details, Sam’s goofy kiddishness being complicated by the reality of what hormones are and do, Dean’s too-cool-ness alleviated by the fact that he’s nineteen and therefore still an idiot, trying earnestly to help and getting it wrong and getting it very right, all at the same time. The attention to detail here just knocks me over with a feather. Gorgeous work.

Two Part Invention by De_Nugis

Rating: T Word Count: 6,938 Summary: Dean settles down, Sam finds him, they settle some things.

Original post date, 12/25/2010

Reccing because: I very much appreciate a fic that, on the face of it, seems like an OOC premise, and then as soon as you think about it for fifteen seconds you realize — oh, of course, of course that’s how it should be and how it would go. This fic delivers on that feeling in spades. There’s a deep appreciation here for how complicated Sam Winchester is and how strange and hard it would be to have his life, and zero judgment, really, for what he and Dean have to do to make that life tenable. I appreciate the subtlety here so much.

Top This by leonidaslion

Rating: E Word Count: 4,076 Summary: Dean's sure he's a top. Only problem is, Sam's pretty sure that's his job …

Original post date, 04/10/2011

Reccing because: Is this crack? It surely is. Is it PWP? You bet. Is it in character? To be honest it hardly matters, but despite the context and conceit it does manage, somehow, to kinda feel like Sam and Dean Winchester from the canon of the show Supernatural, and that is a trick that earns it a spot on this list. Especially the way Sam goes slightly smug there at the end. Delights.

It’s the Blueprint of Your Life by queenklu

Rating: E Word Count: 38,400 Summary: Sam jerks awake in the middle of the night and everything goes to hell. Well, not literally, though Dean is staring down the barrel of less than a year before his deal comes due. In the midst of dealing (or not dealing) with his impending death, a killer ghost ship, and Bela showing up out of the blue, Dean also has to figure out what’s going on in Sam’s head to make him so twitchy, why he’s suddenly breezing through this case while writing endless notes in a notebook he won’t let Dean see. Damn it, Dean thinks, This is gonna take a lot of chickflick moments.

Original post date, 10/09/2011

Reccing because: Time travel fic is fun as hell, and time travel fic that just soaks you in dramatic irony is even more fun, and more importantly time travel fic where the time traveler doesn’t have all the answers is best of all. Very little is better than Dean being somewhat at sea and Sam loving him fiercely and this fic delivers that in spades. I could only wish it were a little longer, which is a very, very rare statement from me.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez

Rating: M Word Count: 6,773 Summary: Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

Original post date, 11/06/2011

Reccing because: This fic is thoroughly in and of and intensely about season 7, which I adored and which doesn’t get enough credit from the fandom. It deals with the Sam’s Insanity arc in a way that’s angstier and ficcier than the show itself but it does so in this stupendous and murderously flat way. Dean is at his wit’s end and Sam is, too, but Sam’s finding a way to deal with it, and Sam will not compromise on what dealing with it means, and we’re all just forced to live with it. Fantastic reading experience, especially for the almost literal jumpscare you get about 2/3s through.

The Hunter Games by theproblematique

Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 92,601 Summary: When the infamous Winchester bad luck strikes twice in quick succession Sam and Dean are forced to compete in the most brutal reality TV show ever created. It’s impossible to escape the battlefield, hiding can only be temporary, and alliances inside those dark, bloodstained woods last about as long as it takes for the other Hunter to figure out how to use your weapons. And then kill you with them.

Original post date, 06/22/2012

Reccing because: This is a true all-timer wincest AU fic. We’re mostly all familiar with the source material, but this work blends the universe of the Hunger Games with the characterization & destiny of the Winchester boys in a way that’s extremely satisfying. The author’s other works are recced more often, but this piece is more deserving of a place as One Of Those Reclist Fics.

Kevin Tran for President by glovered

Rating: T Word Count: 11,714 Summary: Dean comes back from Purgatory to find Sam working as a barista at a coffee shop near Princeton, watching over Kevin Tran.

Original post date, 10/04/2012

Reccing because: Sometimes you just need a post-Purgatory fic that isn’t brutal. This story’s a light-hearted trip-along froth like most of glovered’s work, but there’s something in specific about this unfraught coming-together that makes it incredibly readable. Dean and Sam aren’t entirely on the same page but the relief of reunion makes everything else fade a little into the distance, and the charming little job they find themselves on here gives enough of an excuse for them to figure some things out. Also probably the best Cas & Meg side characters in a fic, so there’s that too.

Clear and simple and plain by Trojie

Rating: E Word Count: 1,893 Summary: After Sam gives up the Trials, things start getting better.

Original post date, 10/26/2013

Reccing because: This is a post-Trials fic where things don’t go incredibly wrong, which is a nice AU to sit in for a while. What’s impressive about this story, written in the time it was, is that it manages to presage the ~s11 era marriage very well indeed, in tone and vibe and even some content. They’re in the bunker and things aren’t perfect, but they’re together, and that’s a kind of perfection of its own. It isn’t sugary but it’s the kind of adult complex sweetness that makes one feel better, anyway.

hello by allwellandgood (formerly askance)

Rating: T Word Count: 4,128 Summary: There's a woman at the grocery store named Evelyn who always rings him up on the days he ventures out for food and she knows him, or likes to think she does. I hope you're not too lonely, she'll say. He chooses not to tell her that his dead brother sleeps at his feet every night. He'd rather not be the cause of her inevitable heart attack.

Original post date, 08/11/2014

Reccing because: So Dean’s dead. Everyone dies at some point. This fic is a beautifully soft and tender and bitterly kind way to deal with that. You feel Sam’s loss deep in your chest but it’s okay, because this is the world of Supernatural and there are options, and the relief he gets pours over like cool water. Not enough, and it’s not fixed, but it’s not as much of a misery as it was.

The Time Traveler’s Brother by amypond45

Rating: R Word Count: 55,458 Summary: Dean's life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that's also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean's brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, "Old Sam" is often there, especially when Dean's father isn't, and as Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future? This pre-series AU follows Dean from age four to eighteen.

Original post date, 02/26/2015

Reccing because: It’s rare to have an AU so thoroughly engage with what the alternate universe it constructs means for characterization and plot. This does something outstanding with the Sam and Dean (and Deans) created by the conceit, but also uses that conceit to do something entirely new with the canon plot that just flips me over every time I remember it. There are some fantastic character insights here, both complimentary and not, but I’ll never be over the specific scene of young!Dean looking up at older!Dean and being disappointed. That’s him, that’s our little angst machine.

The King of Imperfections Takes Back the Prince of Mistakes: a fairy tale by britomart_is

Rating: E Word Count: 4,822 Summary: And they lived happily ever after.

Original post date, 06/06/2016

Reccing because: The summary is pretty much the summary and that’s such a relief, sometimes. They’re awful and stupid and they’re in love and love isn’t enough except it is, and they’re so friggin’ MARRIED in the most wonderful and dorky way. They have good-bad sex and they have idiot arguments and they’ve made it. Back in 2016 this seemed like the best possible option. Reading this story feels like reading 4800 words of relief.

Raw Food Diet by themegalosaurus

Rating: E Word Count: 2,959 Summary: Sam has one more meeting today. This one isn’t in his diary; not the public calendar everyone at the firm can access, nor the private one on his cell.

Original post date, 02/14/2019

Reccing because: If you were looking for depressing and almost revolting Lebanon AU, you’re in luck. This is serial killer!Dean at his worst and Sam Jobs at his (still slightly martyred) almost-worst and it’s the frankly gross and logical conclusion to: what would it mean, if those two horrible shitheads were still together, somehow or some way? It’s always almost a relief when fic manages to do a not-happy ending and this definitely does that. Refreshing, in its way, though you might want a shower after.

Ions in the Ether by nigeltde

Rating: E Word Count: 10,860 Summary: When was the last time you trusted happy.

Original post date, 03/12/2019

Reccing because: For any s2 obsessives as our author here is, this is a deep and alarming and inside-out dive into the obsession with a brother and with monstrousness and with what’s true and what’s not and also can you tell the difference, after all. A murky swirl through a shithole town, this fic picks and pries at wincest-as-concept in a way that’s somewhat achy and alarming and is overall delightful, if you’re willing to take the time to think about it. Plus Sam’s hot, which is of course a bonus.

there will be better days by deadlybride

Rating: E Word Count: 9,430 Summary: Sam and Dean settle into their heaven.

Original post date, 11/24/2020

Reccing because: I’m crass. But also I can’t think of another fic that feels as much like heaven as this one and I wanted heaven on the list.

#wincest #fic recs #happy wincest wednesday #this is partly borne from an absolutely shitty reclist i saw the other day lol #i admit to being powered by spite #Those Reclist Fics have a weird power over fandom #and i want better stuff to get read #so! read these!#and comment while you're at it

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unabashednightmarepizza · 7 months

Text

𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦

Being the reason of the magic in the whole world was pretty classy to some people

And yeah, in a way, it was because how many people could actually say "I'm the one who gave magic to my children and later other people."?

Now it wasn't that you were the Merlin, but more like a reincarnated one. You would have different dreams of those before you and what they felt and then wake up almost feeling... Empty.

It wasn't until you showed your eyes and strong magic that your "family" believed in who you were and decided to hide it from everyone else to have you, and by extension your powers, all to themselves and celebrated the good news...

But that also meant your family was the oldest magical family ever, which meant every other "pureblood" family tried to get into your family for more power.

Utter bullshit if someone asked you, and the Merlin himself inside you

"What the fuck are they talking about being 'pure'?! What is this nonsense!?"/ "Calm down hoe, ı'll explain."

Needless to say... He was pissed, but that was for another time to talk about.

All their attempts backfired and now everyone knew who you were and you had to learn how to defend yourself at a young age while rejecting whoever tried a move on you. (It wasn't that hard to punch them and scare the shit outta them anyways.)

At one point, the news of Hogwarts reached to you and you insisted on going there even if it was against every plan your family had, which consisted of brainwashing you so that you would believe in their ideals.

(which was also why you were doing it and get away from them before they did something)

The point is, there was a time the Four Founders knew you, and therefore the Sorting Hat also knew you very well... And instead of sorting you, you two gossiped together about those four.

"Do you remember how Godric was left in his underwear because Salazar was mad at him for changing his potions?"

"or that one time Rowena had to be held by Helga, who never liked conflict if I may add, because Godric stole her crown and danced around the castle?"

But the Hat knew that you had to be sorted, yet again, sorting the literal pure and ancient magic holder was... Absurt.

So, it made the best and most hilarious decision of all the History of Magic under the shocked eyes of everyone present.

" Y/N Y/L/N belongs to all houses!"

"you could have put me in Godric's house at least, stupid! They seem funny at least..."

And the hat only cackled and shooed you away under your teasing eyes as you sat at the corner while the teacher gave their speechs.

But, just like everyone else there, four sets of eyes followed you after that day. Wherever you went or whatever you said.

They thought you would be evil, or extremely cocky and bullying everyone. They even planned a grand joke for you to teach you a lesson...

But none of them ever came and instead they often found you... Sleeping at corners in different positions.

At first, they thought you were merely acting so that you got away from their pranks.

But when they shook you awake, and you just faceplanted on the ground and continued to sleep, they were absolutely bamboozled.

"Are they alive? I think they are..."

"How can someone sleep like that?! Especially after falling down?"

But this wasn't their first official meeting with you.

It was when they were sitting down for dinner and you appeared behind Remus to look at the book he was reading.

Even he didn't feel your presence and the soft hum you did, and he was a werewolf.

"Hello, gentlemen! How are you?"

And Sirius, being Sirius, did what he always did the best: Complimented you, which would turn to flirting as the years passed.

What they did not know was that you were the Merlin. Sirius and James were aware of your existence, Sirius with being the heir of the Blacks and his mother trying to prepare a date in the future, but they never knew what you looked like.

No one did.

When they realized it, they thought you were one of those pure-blood extremists and their opinion changed about you fast

They thought you would bully Remus or Lily...

Which was already a big no-no

But they were proven very wrong when one day, they caught you bringing chocolate and books Remus wanted to read for a while, the pile of books flying in the air behind you in a long line

"Hi! Uh, I hope I'm not being a complete nuisance but I couldn't help but notice your love for chocolate and hear your list of books you wanted to read and... I just wanted to talk?"

What? Giving something to someone to gain their trust, though it was for an evil ulterior in your family, was the thing that was taught to you.

And you weren't like them, you really wanted to be their friends and prove that you weren't like any of them but... At that moment, you were just a shy bean full of anxiety as you fiddled with your fingers shyly and they looked at you puzzled with shocked pikachu faces.

The stare they had given you in shock would never leave your mind as you giggled at them, the sound making the boys blush as Remus stuttered out a thanks and you gave a wide smile and asked to sit down with them. That was when the doubts started to bloom in them.

No bloody racist could be that sweet and shy while talking to someone "lower" to them.

And besides you seemed genuine but they still had doubts...

Until James remembered how you protected Lily at the Great Hall one time and then, as he heard it later, baked her cookies and helped her study.

"Y/L/N, we need to talk! There is an important matter..."

You sluggishly woke up and looked around you after your beauty sleep, only to see Lucius who had been working hard to pursue you, looking at you with what appeared to be... Anger. You stared at his face for a few seconds and then at the bustling Hall where everyone now stayed silent to watch you two.

Everyone knew that you and Lucius weren't on exactly good terms. You didn't do anything that could make you seem like "a barbaric" person, even though you had half of the mind to do so after everything he said about Lily and muggleborns in general, you had to stay calm and also ease the angry ancient wizard inside you as he fumed like a dragon.

Or else, this summer wouldn't be too nice for you.

"important matter?.. Okay, what is it?" You mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eyes and slapping your face a few times to sober up a bit. Even if your eyes were half open, you still kept them closed as a yawn left you and pretended to listen to him while leanin over the table.

"I believe, as true magic holders, you would agree on the fact that there are people who shouldn't be here." said Lucius sneering, emphasising on true magic and people while looking especially at Lily as the girl suddenly curled in on herself in fear. James seethed from where he was sitting as his eyes wandered to the girl and then his friends, silently planning another prank for Lucius so bad that the blonde wouldn't be able to walk outside.

Their eyes drifted to you though, Peter eating anxiously, Sirius raising a brow as Remus lifted his head and stared with an expectant look. This was the moment they would get their answers, whether what you had been telling them was true.

Whether you really cared about being pure or not.

"This is a magic school Lucius, anyone who has magic can enter. I heard that the bullying of pureblood nonsense wasn't as bad in other schools and they are also welcoming so... Suck it up." You explained bored and waved your hand dismissively at hım as he widened his eyes and sputtered out in disbelief.

How could someone as powerful as you say such thing?

His eyes drifted to where the group of your "friends" were sitting and cheering you excitedly, clapping hands as your eyes shone with happiness for being accepted by them wholeheartedly finally. Their smiling faces were cute, and you'd later go and buy some chocolate and sweets for them but right now, you couldn't be the sugar mommy.

You needed sleep. Immediately.

"Now, I will sleep and you better not wake me up..."

"They are the ones who feed you with lies, are they not?" He sneered angrily as he came closer to your form, a frustrated sigh leaving your lips at what he foolishly said while forgetting who you exactly where, instead seeing one of those submissive girls he was used to having around at his beck and call.

How easily you could end him and his whole lineage.

"If you think them, you or any other person can manipulate me, that's your problem. But I'd like to point that I can suck the magic out of you, alter your memories and even make your hair turn pink without you or anyone realizing what's happening. Don't tempt me..." your eyes snapped an angry yellow as your hands glowed with golden swirls of raw magic, making him take a step back in slight fear.

"you're only angry because one, she is pretty. Two, she is wicked smart and three, she is one of the few girls who said no to you." You mumbled tiredly and bored as you rolled onto your other side on the bench and continued to sleep soundless as if you didn't just threaten him with unaliving. The only answer you got, not that you cared, was just a grunt and feet stomping away.

"Fucking git of a witch... And she is supposed to be Merlin? Only a fake öne with those she hangs out..."

Needless to say, as you snapped your eyes open and slowly rose up, your eyes glowing in the usual golden color as your hair floated up and the ground shook angrily... Lucius was fucked.

After that flipping you did with Lucius, practically all the school was on their knees worshipping you

Because fucking finally someone stopped that menace

After that, the Marauders rarely left your side. Always demanding attention, begging you to teach them and all that... Except Sirius.

He just wanted to bring you over to his home so that you can roast his family too lol

When you learnt what happened to the Black Brothers, after they both warmed up to you, you flipped and choked on the water you were drinking.

"Those fuckers did what?!"

The sight of the Merlin, hair up and floating menacingly as an angry sneer left you was one that would haunt their wildest nightmares to come.

That was when one of them fell for you.

Perhaps, it was Regulus since he had been harbouring a huge crush on you ever since forever or Sirius when he had come to you wounded as you healed him and hugged him thightly to your chest, patting his hair and assuring him that everything would be better as he clinged to you and cried his sadness out.

Sirius... Never thought that he would relate to you.

To what ... What happened to you.

A soft smile as you healed him. "The same as whatever happened to you."

"All my life people failed me. Just because I'm Merlin doesn't mean that I was an exception to the torture you and Regulus went through."

"many times my family told me to just conceive a child and just be a wife... Seeing what I hoped my magic would bring to this world fail and see my descendants suffer... It wasn't what i wanted."

That was a shared regret of both you and Merlin, after all, magic was for everyone. He himself was born to completely human parents with absolutely no relation to magic. He lived through an era when pretty much everyone was hung for magic but still managed to survive for... this?

For his own children to do the same?

Apart from the angsty traumatical life experiences you all had and literally parenting a bunch of sad kids...

Their pranks were fucking genius.

Now, you didn't join them in their shenanigans much, especially if it included poor Severus

But from time to time... You would come up with the weirdest, most AWESOME and jawdropping jokes ever developed by mankind

Such as changing all the toilet papers on the bathrooms with an identical realistic cake version of them that would explode with lighters as soon as they were touched, just to piss off both female and male bullies that picked on the poor students- mostly muggleborns

And then, as if you had a better mental state, there was the weekly sessions you had where you just listen to them vent.For more than once, you assured Remus no, he wasn't a mindless monster and yes, you were totally sure he deserved happines, or making Peter see his true worth and not living on what people thought of him, making him gain some confidence. Then there were the "tea parties but actually drinking parties" you went with Sirius in the muggle world where he just cried about his life and then proceeded to pole dance like a maniac as you calmly sipped your water.

Or sitting with Effie and James as you three gossipped and talked shit about the most pureblood families.

But... even if you seemed lively and happy, every listener needed someone else to listen to them too and they were ready to pay back for every time you took care of them.

But it wasn't that easy.

Another fact of having a fucked up family life: Inability to actually react

Such as crying

( why the hell do I keep coming back to angsty side??)

For the longest time you thought it was a hard thing to do.

Like.... how does a person just tear up?

Ohhh, and you didn't even want to cry with an audience watching. That shit was scarier than any Boggart possible.

Then you saw James cry after he saw a Puffskein and... yeah.

Then the day came when they were all talking about birthdays and you said you never celebrates it and... They all stared blankly.

" Wait... like at all?"

"nope, never seen the thrill of it." You answred noncholantly, groaning when Sirius suddenly jumped on your laying figure on the carpet and shook you frustratedly.

"Even I had a birthday celebration in my life! What do you-"

"It never was a celebratory thing, except reminding my family how good of a tool I am... So I never brought it up and-James are you crying?? Remus-no,no not all of you!

Aghh, come on... * affectionately yet awkwardly patting their back as James cried on your neck while the four clutched you from all sides*

After that, it had become a mission for them to show you just how much they appreciated you by showering you with gifts, your favourite meals and even taking you to a muggle concert with the girls.

You totally didn't get wasted and ended up making out with one of them drunkenly after they made you get loose a little bit after that strict life-

They were the family you wished you had but never did, they showed you a lot of things and made you have fun. They showed you how to love and care and they were now... family.

You were ready to, quite literally, die for them

And therefore, as the only one with the knowledge of what was going to happen to them... You had to take action and protect those silly kids from the evil clutches of the common enemy.

"Are you not a kid yourself though?" would be James' answer whenever you spoke about the war, since he too was worried but couldn't let it affect your friends when they relied on him, teasing you playfully with a smile though he was happy you cared about them just as much as they cared about you.

"It's different, I'm Mer-"/ "You are Y/N and our friend who is also 17. It's okay to be scared, you don't have to shoulder everything."

That fucker and his sudden cute yet emotional talks-

It did nothing to even slightly stop you tho, you already made a plan.

Dumbledore obviously knew who you were, how powerful and strong you were and could easily become a supreme wizard/witch, therefore he thought the best way to deal with you was to get rid of you.

Jinxes, poison, harsh training, hard missions that not even the best wizard or witch wouldn't be able to complete...

You stopped all of them, it was as if you were like a killing machine, never wavering back and diving first to the fight just to protect your friends so that they could sleep peacefully for one more night, so that they could smile even slightly a bit more.

Even if you turned back bloody and bruised, having to listen to them scold and pamper you, you just didn't die.

And you knew who was behind all this, and why he was doing it.

"Look, Dumbledore, I don't care if I'm messing up with your plans- which I'm so delighted to do so, you have no idea- but if you get on my way and threaten my friends one more time, know that it's not gonna end up well for you."

"But the prophecy-"

"Damn the prophecy! I'm not letting you manipulate young children into a war that's not theirs to fight! If needed, I'll be the one to fight him off... But if you bring them into this death game, I'll gladly finish you as well."

"Remember, I'm the reason why you have that magic coursing through your veins. And I can take it back."

*dramatic standing up and leaving coolly without the cloak like the Batman*

And even with all these shit going on, having 5638 different meltdowns and existensial crises

"Oh, isn't that the traitor hanging out with those bastards?"

Lucius Malfoy, a pain in my ass

"Oh, if it's not my favourite brat in the world! What is it this time, Malfoy? Are you going to whine because I refused to marry you?"

Well, that was something the Marauders didn't expect. You were supposed to marry him?

What the hell?!

"You should be grateful that it was I who asked for your hand in marriage, Y/L/N-"

Remus clenched his jaw at the clear insult, at him seeing himself above you when it was the other way around. He saw how you fisted at your clothes and he took a hold of your hand under the table. He knew, just like the rest of his friends, that you wished your identity to be hidden, that you didn't want others to see you any different.

But Malfoy was making it very hard for you, for the past 4 years or so.

"Trust me, brat, you are the one who would have been all over the moon if that were to happen."

That cold voice didn't mean something good.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that you are hust pissy bevause for the first time in your life, someone, a woman, stood on her ground and flat out ridiculed you with rejecting you. In front of people. It's very sad that you, like the other blood-suprematists, are void of love and care but guess what?"

"My family marries for love, we are the ones who gave all of you this magic and you dare to belittle me, boy? Patheatic, little man."

Okay this was hot, and now the one who had a crush on you had a bleeding nose-

And that, was the story and the first entry of your "Marauders Diary".

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anvilsims · 4 months

Text

Been working on this for a long long time and I finally reached a point that I'm happy with it. I hope Simmers who are also big Nintendo fans like this.

Shout-out to @tomatomagica/@sims4niya for helping me out with making certain goals and just looking over the rules in general. :)

UPDATE: Slightly changed the goals in Gen 8, please reblog this version.

General Rules:

No cheats unless otherwise stated in generation rules, needed to reset a sim, or for decoration/building purposes.

Mods are okay, provided they do not give you an unfair advantage. What constitutes an unfair advantage is up to you.

Complete each generation's Aspiration

Above all, have fun. If that means continuing onto the next generation without finishing all of the previous gen goals, that’s okay.

(Generations beyond the cut)

Generation 1 Animal Crossing:

Traits: Loves Outdoors/Outgoing/Maker

Aspiration: Curator

You have moved into a new town with nothing but the clothes on your back. Well at least Mr. Nook was nice enough to give you a new home even with the work you'll have to do to pay him off. It’ll be tough but you’ve quite the knack for building and your neighbors seem more than happy to cheer you on.

Move into an empty lot and build a small house. (Optional: Make your house a Tiny Home Residential lot and choose what tier to work with from there.)

After one day, move two single townie sims into your neighborhood and become friends with them (If one of them becomes your founder’s spouse, make a new neighbor to move into their old house.)

Neither the founder nor spouse will hold a job, they will make money via at home activities like painting, fishing, etc.

Have a room to display your collections

At the end of every sim week, use cheats or mods to remove half of your household funds (to pay off your debt to Mr. Nook) until both your sim and their spouse reach the adult stage.

~~~

Generation 2 Splatoon:

Traits: Creative/Dance Machine/Party Animal

Aspiration: Famous Celebrity

Despite your humble beginnings, you always dreamed big. You were often found drawing outfits from fashion magazines or singing along to your favorite pop idols or doing cool poses for selfies at the pool. Once you became a teen, you started taking little steps to join that glamorous world.

Become a simfluencer as a teen

Move to San Myshuno or Del Sol Valley once you become a Young Adult

Reach the top of the Style Influencer career (Trendsetter branch)

Host a party once every sim week

Either become or marry a merperson. Heir however must be just a sim.

Max out painting, dancing, and singing skills

~~~

Generation 3 Legend of Zelda:

Traits: Good/Adventurous/Music Lover

Aspiration: Jungle Explorer

Everyone expected you to become a spoiled brat but thankfully you turned out to be a good kid with a love for music and a dream of exploring far-off ancient ruins. You make a friend who supports you all the way but you also make an enemy constantly getting in your way.

Make a friend as a child or teen, become BFFs with them, and stay that way for as long as either sim lives (friend can be a future spouse)

As a child or teen become enemies with one sim and stay enemies for as long as either sim lives. Win at least five fights with them. (Optional: Have this sim be an evil sim)

Max out the Archaeology skill and one instrument skill

Complete the Ancient Omiscan Artifacts Collection

Get the “Brave” reward trait

~~~

Generation 4 Earthbound:

Traits: Goofball/Active/Geek

Aspiration: Friend of the World

Because of your parent’s travels, you never lived in one spot for too long. Despite that, you still liked making new friends and finding ways to keep in touch. And you learned to appreciate the magic in every world… figurative and literal.

Live in four different worlds before becoming a young adult

Make three friends and create a club with them (Optional: Make these friends as a child and grow up together)

Max out photography and comedy skills

Become a spellcaster as a teen and work on reaching the top rank

Complete the Postcard Collection

Adopt a dog when your first kid becomes a child

~~~

Generation 5 Pokemon:

Traits: Dog (or Cat) Lover (Animal Enthusiast)/Vegetarian/Socially Awkward

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals or Country Caretaker

Ever since you were little, you were obsessed with animals and even got along better with them than people. Your friends blame your childhood obsession with Voidcritters (even if some of them weren't really animals). When you grew up, you knew you were going to surround yourself with animals.

Complete the Voidcritters Collection

Adopt at least eight pets over your lifetime including at least one stray.

Have both cats and dogs

Open a Vet Clinic (pokemon center) and get it to five stars

Max out Veterinary and pet training skills

Complete Voidcritters Collection

Adopt a fox or raccoon

Have at least one of each farm animal (chickens, cow, and llamas)

Win first place in each animal fair in Henford-On-Bagley

Learn all the animal treat recipes

~~~

Generation 6 Mario:

Heir 1 Traits: Family Oriented/Bro/Loyal

Heir 2 Traits: Squeamish/Clumsy/Bro

Heir 1 Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Heir 2 Aspiration: Mansion Baron

You and your sibling were as thick as thieves growing up and neither of you really liked the idea of one of you moving away so they stuck around. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own adventures.

Chose two siblings to serve as Double Heirs, they do not need to be twins

Both heirs take a part time job as Manual Laborers until one of them gets married then the married one joins the Doctor career

The other heir maxes out the Medium skill and becomes a Paranormal Investigator

Both heirs max out Handiness skill

One heir unlocks Sylvan Glade and the other unlocks Forgotten Grotto

~~~

Generation 7 Kirby:

Traits: Foodie (or Glutton)/Cheerful/Childish

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

You grew up in a very supportive environment with family members encouraging you to try a little bit of everything. You liked helping your family cook but you also discovered a love for acting from trying so many different hats. At that point, you decided that you were gonna be a superstar!

Join Drama Club as a child or teen

Max out the Cooking, Gourmet Cooking, and acting skills

Reach the top of the Actor career

Reach pristine public image

Gain the People Person lifestyle

Once you become an elder, retire from acting and open a business selling cooked meals.

~~~

Generation 8 Metroid:

Traits: Loner/Unflirty/Noncommittal

Aspiration: Strangerville Mystery

While your parent enjoyed the spotlight, you preferred to keep to yourself with exercising and star gazing. As soon as you were able to, you moved out into your own place in a quiet out of the way town called Strangerville. However it seems your wish for a normal quiet life wasn’t meant to be.

Max out body and wellness skills

Reach the sixth level of the Astronaut career and quit after one shift.

Only take odd jobs after quitting your career

Have an alien child (feel free to cheat/mod to get an abduction or to get a female sim alien pregnant)

Gain the Techie lifestyle

Never marry

~~~

Generation 9 Pikmin:

Traits: Hot headed/Overachiever/Genius

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Despite your alien heritage, you adored the world you grew up in but that isn’t to say you had no interest in the stars. You enjoyed helping out at the school greenhouse along with watching for comets and UFOs on weekends. It didn’t take long before you started to wonder if there was a way to combine your love for both worlds.

Join Scouts as a child

Master gardening and rocket science skills

Visit Sixam and befriend three different colored aliens

Complete the Geode and Space rock collections

Find all three alien plants on Sixam and plant them in your garden (Do NOT buy them in Henford-On-Bagley)

~~~

Generation 10 Fire Emblem:

Traits: Bookworm/Proper/Ambitious

Aspiration: Leader of the Pack

Growing up, you admired stories of brave knights and kind heroes. While you eventually outgrew the fairy tales, you still wanted to help people like the brave hero kings and queens in the stories.Thus together with your closest friends, you decide to try to make a positive difference in the world.

If a sim dies, you cannot plead with the Grim Reaper nor can you resurrect them in any way

Max out Charisma, writing, and research & debate skills

Reach the top of the Political Career (Politician branch)

Form a club (forming an army) and eventually build up to recruiting eight members

Marry a member of your club (and if they aren’t already, have them join the military career)

Write a Bestseller Fantasy book

If you give the challenge a shot, either @ me or tag "NintendoLegacyChallenge"

#Sims 4 #The Sims 4 #Sims 4 Challenge #Sims 4 Legacy Challenge #Obviously the challenge requires a bunch of packs #Maybe I'll make a base-game compatible version in the future if people ask for it

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incorrect-web-novels · 2 years

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Jiang Cheng: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Wei Wuxian: Mine just says "Wei Ying, no." Jiang Cheng: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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cosmicswan · 5 months

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𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐫

listen to this while reading | back to masterlist

code name: Noir

government name: Aisha Leblanc

personality type: INTJ

nationality: USA

origin: unknown

IQ: 187

shifting to: the first avengers movie

me core

occupation before shield recruitment: professional contemporary dancer, CEO

background info & family:

i was in an orphanage when nick fury was alerted of a super powered kid (me) so he adopted me & trained me in combat & also trained me how to use my powers. my real family is unknown (though my powers look similar to the eternals) but i might script that im not an eternal and see where that goes (my mom was a being that can control reality)

ik,,, almost every super powered dr is me with powers concerning the multiverse and THATS BCS I WANNA BE OP (stfu) and i am literally traveling the multiverse to get there so it isn’t that much of a strech

identity

here’s the fun part, no one knows that i am nick fury’s daughter (i scripted that he didn’t change my last name to his for safety purposes) and my name in the orphanage was my cr last name. but he did change my last name after the adoption to leblanc (for further safety precautions.) so far no one knows about my real identity & powers before joining the avengers

fury is actually a good dad and he let me do the things i want to do growing up (gymnastics, contemporary dance, & modelling) before i decide to join shield and became a spy

avengers

since i don’t want no trauma, i scripted out major worldly (and outerworldly threats) so no doomsday n shit. so this dr is more like a spy dr than anything. i also scripted out any apocalyptic events. zombies icks me out

but nick still make the avengers a team. to wipe out earth’s and other realms major evil organizations, evil politicians yk all that jazz.

and most of the avengers live in the tower. (i want to live that avengers found family domestic trope stfu)

the avengers consist of: bruce, nat, wanda, pietro (scripted out his death), thor, occasionally loki, tony, me, clint, vision, peter (he doesn’t live in the tower), yelena after we demolish the red room, steve, bucky after we save him (scripted him to not kill tony’s dad) i want the full domestic life experience with no beef alright.

i also scripted that matt murdock is the avengers official lawyer. i also scripted a shit ton of safety precautions to not get my ass traumatized so imma just skip that part

and i forgot to mention that my CEO, model, performer persona is totally different than my hero persona (batman bruce moment yurrr) and i shapeshift so my hero and citizen face is literally different.

my powers

my powers are a mix of phoenix force & chaos magic but all in all i am essentially the goddess of the multiverse. higher above kang the conqueror & basically omnipotent (don’t start on the you can’t be op bs)

my abilities include; multiverse travel, reality destruction & creation, time travel, healing, shapeshifting, power fields, impenetrable shields & weapons creation, mind control, elemental powers, reality wrapping, illusions, astral projection etc. (i develop these powers gradually)

human background

i aged down tony stark to be the same age as me! (26 at 2012)

i attended MIT and rivaled tony in all his computer science & engineering classes. i graduated with a double masters degree in computer science & performing arts

i scripted that before i joined shield i was the founder of my AI & vehicle company making me the youngest self made billionaire (unlike tony’s generational wealth) and i pursued contemporary dancing as a hobby but later become a professional performer. and i sometimes model for brands too after resigning as the ceo and handing it over to one of my cr friends that i scripted (im not all in for the hustle life i want to be bougee and not work)

significant others

i might end up with tony with an academic rivals arc but im also interested in natasha 🤭 so idk yet im going with the flow again in the romance field

about me

my personality is pretty much the same as other drs, im probably a philanthropist and a hardcore activist there too, i featured a lot in the covers of the times magazine or ford 30 under 30 (my literal dream) then alot of fashion brands notice my interest in fashion and offered from modeling positions to ambassador positions, im probably going to model for ysl, graff, vivienne westwood etc. im also thinking of making a collaboration with cartier to make timeless classic style smart watches (i hate the style of apple watches)

likes, hobbies & random facts in my dr

what i like in this dr is pretty much the same in my cr with only little differences

i like adrenaline seeking activities, flying planes, f1 racing, probably a street racer at one point, i invented nano tech for tony’s suit, invented nano tech to cure cancer (probably almost got assasinated in the process) i also invented electric cars with solar power (fuck elon) overall my company creates technology like devices, AI, AI websites, solar powered cars, & motorcycles.

i have a charity school of performing arts with students all over the world to learn dance, professional instruments, etc.

i like mansions, luxury staycations, hot milk tea, convenient technology, fashion, dance, parties, chess, and being theatrical & dramatic. once i dreamed about this dr i was on a mission crushing this one dude in a fight while listening to an der schönen blauen donau - walzer, op. 314. it was comical

that’s all for now! pls ask me any questions in my inbox or comments if u have any <33

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting community #reality shift #shifting realities #shiftinconsciousness #shifttok #desired reality #mcu dr #mcu #avengers dr

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moonshinemagpie · 4 months

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Colson Whitehead on Making Novels Half-Asleep

I deleted my Substack because, you know, its founders are evil. But this post I wrote last October feels relevant for writers going into the New Year. If it's TLDR, skip down to the "What Meant Everything to Me" heading.

Writing with Chronic Fatigue

I went to the Brooklyn Book Festival last weekend! It was pure magic after so many years of being away from the English-speaking book world. I felt like someone on rations finally allowed to eat my fill, gulping down book panels and author talks.

Colson Whitehead Goes to Church

One of my favorite festival events was a talk with Colson Whitehead in the St. Ann and the Holy Trinity Church. I’m a big fan of hosting cultural events in places of worship.

Colson Whitehead imparted insights that felt like gospel for writers. For those unfamiliar, Whitehead has published nine novels, two nonfiction books, and won two Pulitzer prizes. His book The Underground Railroad is one of my favorites of all time.

But I did not always like Whitehead’s work. I first had to read his 2003 essay collection The Colossus of New York in university, and it struck me as self-obsessed, MFA-brand New York nonsense. Like, he romanticized Port Authority, the dirty hellhole bus station where, in 2003, I was an elementary schooler waiting nervously for buses that were always late while getting continuously harassed by grown-man casino gamblers dressed like lumberjacks.

I really hated Whitehead’s cheery romanticizations. I wouldn’t pick up another Whitehead book until 2017.

(^just an HD image of Colson Whitehead)

Add Whitehead to the list of authors who wrote some of my most detested 1-star reads before they published the 5-star books of my heart: NK Jemisin, Maggie Stiefvater, Jeff Vandermeer, Colson Whitehead—almost all of my favorite contemporary writers put out messy, uncompelling books before they entered the realm of the virtuoso.

“I wrote a book called The Intuitionist,” Whitehead said at the church, referring to his debut, “and everyone hated it. So I thought, ‘Okay, I need to do better next time.’”*

It was surreal to hear a writer speak with such open eyes about the trajectory of their own career. Like, I knew I hated Whitehead’s early work. I didn’t realize that he knew it, too.

(It’s worth mentioning that someone who came up to ask Whitehead a question during the Q&A said, “The Intuitionist is my favorite book of all time.”)

But that wasn’t the insight that meant the most to me.

Nothing Is a Joke

Whitehead made joke after joke about chronic fatigue. He never used the words “chronic fatigue”; he never referred to his own health. But he repeatedly described scenarios that resonated with me as someone who lives with fatigue and hypersomnia:

“I spend most of my day just sleeping,” he said. “I mean, coming out here [to the book event]? Really big deal for me. Glad I could make it.”

And everyone laughed, but I don’t think that’s the kind of joke you make unless you mean it. I don’t think it would even dawn on a non-fatigued individual to make it.

What Meant Everything to Me

When Whitehead described his writing process, he said he writes about eight pages a week.

Eight pages a week.

Estimating 250 words/page, that’s 2,000 words per week. Or as he said, “32 pages per month, 320 pages after ten months. I find it adds up.”

He writes, he said, about three days each week. So that’s a little over 600 words each time he sits down to write.

To put this into perspective: If I write fewer than 2,000 words in a single writing session, I don’t consider it to have been a proper session. In less than a month, hundreds of thousands of people will join in NaNoWriMo and try to write at least 1,666 words every day for a month straight.

We live in a world where writers are encouraged to crank it way, way up, sacrificing what writing actually is in an attempt to maximize monetization of a craft that is not easily monetized. Romance writers give advice online for how to write just one draft of a book, no revision needed. Self-publishing writers crank out novella after novella to feed to the Kindle Unlimited machine. Everyone wants to be done with their book in a month. Memes proliferate in which writers scold themselves for daydreaming, plotting, outlining—for doing anything at all that isn’t literal putting words to the page, as if those other things weren’t integral to novel-making.

I thought I was immune to that hustle-and-grind mindset, because I know what writing a book actually entails for me and I have no intention of cranking out a first-draft story for KDP.

But I had never once considered giving myself the patient grace that Colson Whitehead shows himself.

“I don’t push myself,” he said. “Writing is hard work. On days when I’m not up to it, I revise instead. Just tinker with my last paragraphs.”

He joked about how, during the pandemic, he had to write his novels while his young son was at home. Whitehead said he usually writes a paragraph or two, and then sleeps for a few hours.

Daddy, why are you always in the dark? his son asked during the lockdown.

It’s part of my process! he joked. But I think he also meant it.

Novel Advice

He’s not the first writer to give this advice; this isn’t the first time I’ve heard it. Maggie Stiefvater wrote her first book only on Wednesday evenings, raising her children and working the rest of the time. Terry Pratchett wrote 400 words each day before he became a full-time writer.

But these are stories of pre-success, the ways we need to struggle when our creative lives are stuffed into the spare corners of our weeks. And when your week doesn’t have spare corners because you’re barely trudging on as it is, that advice doesn’t feel encouraging.

But Colson Whitehead is already successful. And this is still how he allots his writing time: In low-pressure, long-term, sustainable accumulations.

2,000 words a week.

I’ve known for a long time that I can no longer wait for healthy, clearheaded days to write. I don’t have them anymore. But it sort of sounds like Colson Whitehead doesn’t have many of them to spare, either, and yet he wrote the most energetic Harlem heist book I could ever want (Harlem Shuffle). He wrote the most literary zombie apocalypse book imaginable (Zone One). He has an oeuvre that brought enough readers to fill church pews, the line to see him wrapping all around the block. And he built this work, according to him, in between long naps.

In fact, his writing style probably hinges on his method. He’d be writing very different kinds of books if he wrote quickly. His just-a-few-paragraphs-a-day approach*** is probably how he writes descriptions with so many precise details, like these images of a party-supply store after the apocalypse hits:

The unit had completed a sweep of a party-supply store, a narrow nook on Reade that had been washed off Broadway into a low-rent eddy. Dusty costumes hung from the ceiling as if on meat hooks: cowboys and robots from chart-busting sci-fi trilogies, ethnically obscure kiddie-show mascots, jungle beasts with long tails intended for the flirty tickling of faces. Kingdoms’ worth of princesses and their plastic accoutrements, stamped out on the royal assembly line, and the requisite Naughty Nurse suspended in the dead air, tilting in her rounds. Do Not Expose to Open Flame. For Amusement Only. The masks had been made in Korea, delivering back to the West the faces they had given the rest of the globe: presidents, screen stars, and mass murderers. The rubber filament inevitably snapped from the staple after five minutes. The graft wouldn’t take.

I used to imagine Colson Whitehead as just being so impossibly brilliant that he spit this stuff out on the fly, leagues beyond the rest of us mere mortals. Now I see it differently: It happened laboriously, made by a tired, human brain full of faith in its own accumulative productivity.

Going Forward

No more for me, I think, of harsh deadlines and crank-it-out word counts. Instead: I need to provide accommodations for my own writing life. I must consciously factor in my own fatigue and stop demanding that I strain myself in ways unsustainable for a long and fulfilling creative life. Instead: Crank it down. Way down. And take naps between the paragraphs.

2,000 words a week.

Thanks, Colson Whitehead, for being honest about the work. We need more of that in the book world.

----

*None of these quotes are verbatim, just based on memory.

**This is similar to how both Donna Tartt and Nabokov have described their own writing processes. Maybe we spend so much time screaming at new writers to “just write” that we don’t talk about how slowness and care may enhance the quality of our prose.

#writeblr #writing community #colson whitehead #writing advice #draftdash

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shinestarhwaa · 7 months

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THE BOY WHO GOT MISUNDERSTOOD || JUNG WOOYOUNG

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Wooyoung x Fem reader

Word Count: 2.3K

Tags/Warnings: College AU, Several Mental health issues (Mentions of Depression, ED, SH, Su*c*dal tendencies > Please do not read if you are too sensitive for these topics and seek help if you suffer from these ❤️), bullying, unprotected sex, fluffy sex, virgin!Wooyoung, handjob, fingering, tiny bit of orgasm denial

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @lemonhongjoong @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123

ENJOY!

They acted like he was a danger to society. All of them. You never really understood why, but that's the way it simply was at Samson University. Even the principle, grandson of the university's founder, mr. Samson didn't like to get close to him.

No one did.

The boy was in your class this year and somehow he fascinated you. He wore big baggy clothes all the time, usually they were black but once in a while he wore this big Red hoodie. It seemed to be his favourite. You wondered what he looked like in lighter clothes.

He bit on the end of his pen, a nervous habit of his. He nearly chewed off a dozen pens in only two months time. His legs bounced often and he twisted his rings a lot. Anxiety? Maybe.

A lot of people gossiped about him. Technically, 95% of the university gossiped about him. The other 5% were too wasted to even think. They said he was dangerous, cursed even. That he'd have magical powers that he used for evil causes; black magic.

"Have you heard about the unconcious girls found near the dumpsters? Must've been that creep."

Another story came to life in the back of the classroom. You slightly turned your head to see Elsie and Lando gossiping, again. They were your friends but you didn't always agree with them.

Mr. Patterson stood in front of the class and shushed them, even though he snickered a little bit. You swore you could see Wooyoung shrink with every snarky comment coming at him.

You couldn't believe someone so beautiful could ever cause any harm. He has deep brown eyes that seemingly hold the universe. His jaw is sharp, probably after weight-loss. He was chubbier when he arrived here. His nose is quite prominent, you liked it.

"Do you think he ever killed someone?" Elsie giggled from behind you. You glared at her, sighing deeply. "Elsie, you cannot just go around and say stuff like that, you know nothing about him."

"Oh, look who's a saint now. Why do you care, Y/N? It's just a little creep. I heard he-"

"Elsie, I don't wanna hear it," you sighed as you turned back. You locked eyes with Wooyoung for a split second. His eyes are so kind.

He looked away again, as mr. Patterson dismissed the class. You walked out first, pissed off at Elsie and everyone else who was being unfair to him. Were you blind? Stupid? Why couldn't you see it?

You saw him walking back to campus later that day. He looked like he was shaking. Maybe he was crying. Your feet froze, even when you wanted to be open-minded, you remembered the things Elsie said earlier. Maybe he was dangerous.

•

"Does anyone know the answer to question 4B?" Mrs. Milburn asked, looking into the class. Only Wooyoung raised his hand. "No one? Has no one studied at all?" She asked, disappointed and ignoring Wooyoung.

Wooyoung sighed and kept his hand up. "Mrs. Milburn. I am right here," he spoke. She didn't reply. He got up from his seat and stood in front of her, but mrs. Milburn backed away.

The whole class let out an 'ooh', maybe a few distant giggles, but you felt your heart sting. But it was so hard to step up and do something when your opinion was different from the others'.

"No one else has hair like that, you freak, you're probably gonna go back to the dumpsters again and hurt a few more students," Vince yelled from the back of the class. You saw something crack in Wooyoung's eyes this time.

The rest of that week he didn't show up in class.

It seemed like you were the only sane one, the only one who wondered where he went, why he had the blonde in his hair, like no one else. If he says he didn't dye it, would it be magic?

The week after that he showed up again, eyebags bigger than usual. He had the red hoodie on and you smiled softly. His gaze met yours from across the room but he froze when he saw your smile. You felt confused as he quickly made his way to the bathroom. Did you do something wrong?

Wooyoung got in trouble again the next day, the principal called him out on his hair, saying he shouldn't go around wearing that ridiculous color. Wooyoung tried to explain he couldn't help it, he was born with it and he couldn't dye it due to his sensitive scalp and his allergies.

You felt for him as all the people laughed at him, didn't understand him. Was he speaking the truth? Who was he? Was he the scary boy who had secret powers, or just an ordinary boy with a little genetic fault?

•

On Friday there was a party at someone's house; Cameron's parents were out so he invited the entire year to come party. You were there as Elsie had dragged you along. You kind of hoped Wooyoung would be there, just maybe.

And apparently he was, as chaos arose as he was acknowledged. "Get out you freak, you don't belong here!" People yelled. Girls screamed, running to their boyfriends. Wooyoung froze again. His eyes no longer sad, but just empty.

Wooyoung ran away, and as the others continued partying you followed him. He walked into the huge backyard and stood in front of the pool. You frowned as you got closer. Suddenly he jumped in there and you waited for him to come to the surface again.

Seconds passed and Wooyoung didn't resurface, and when you saw Wooyoung resisting gravity you didn't waste any more time and you jumped in, taking a hold of his waist and pulling him up with ease. The boy was light like air.

He panted and coughed as you helped him on the edge. "What are you doing? What do you want from me?!" He yelled. "I'm not gonna let you drown yourself, Wooyoung!"

"I-I wasn't, I was just... I wanted to escap- Did you say my name?" "Yes... Why?" "Nobody says my name," he whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you when..."

"But you did... You're the only one who came even close to standing up for me... Or is this all an act? Are you trying to tempt me into hurting you like I supposedly did to the other girls?" He scoffed.

"No, no, Wooyoung. Please, hey let me take you home, get you some clean, dry clothes. Can I call anyone? Your parents? Siblings?"

"I only have my mom, I don't live with her," he explained. You sat next to him and laid your hand on his shoulder. "Can we still call her?" You asked gently.

"She's dying, Y/N, she suffers from Dementia and she's way too fucking young. Anyway, it doesn't matter. She doesn't recognize me and I scare her. So technically I am alone."

You felt your heart ache for him. "Come with me," you spoke. You stood up and reached out your hand. Wooyoung hesitated but took your hand in his. Before getting in your car you stole towels from Cameron's bathroom which you put on the carseats.

After a few minutes you arrived at your aunt's house. "I have the key to my aunt's house, she's on holiday and I'm babysitting her cats Mac and Whopper."

"Aren't those burgers?" Wooyoung asked as you got into the house. "Yep, she has an unhealthy obsession with them."

You ran upstairs to get some clothes from your uncle and you gave them to Wooyoung. He got dressed in the bathroom as you changed into your aunt's clothes in her bedroom.

Downstairs you made him tea and brought him food and a blanket. "Why are you doing this?" He asked, on the verge of tears. "Because I think you get unneccesary hate, it's nonsense. I know I haven't exactly done nothing so I'm not a saint but... I believe you."

"But you'll lose your friends if you're nice to me. Everyone will think you're crazy." "Then I'll be crazy," you smiled softly. "I can't let you do that, Y/N, I'm not that important. I'm just a freak."

You slightly brushed your fingers through his hair, stroking the blondes. They felt regular. He was just like everybody else. You smiled, but Wooyoung was crying as you touched his hair.

You took him in your arms and let him cry, cry out heavily, and you cried with him. "Nobody wants me, I could easily die, no one would miss me, no one. It's just hair! Why do they think I'm a freak? All those crimes happening... that isn't me!" He protested.

Nodding, you pulled him in even closer. "I know, I know, they're not making any sense. But I don't want you to die," you spoke gently. "I'll be there."

You held him as he slowly calmed down. You noticed he hesitated to eat. "Do you have an ED, Wooyoung?" You softly spoke, trying not to trigger him. Wooyoung fell silent, and it was enough to answer your question.

"Do you think you could take one bite?" You suggested, still holding him. "There's no point in it, I'm gonna die anyway." "Someday, when you're old, but not now. You're gonna live. Let's live, Wooyoung," you smiled.

•

You kept it on the low at first, your contact with Wooyoung. He scared easily and you didn't wanna lose your status at school like that. Yet you hung out with him all the time after classes, learning about each others' stories.

"You know that I've never had sex before because everyone thinks I'm dangerous?" Wooyoung confessed. You smiled gently and brushed your fingers through his hair. "Do you want to change that?" You grinned.

Wooyoung blushed. "I do, but I'm too full of scars, Y/N, no one could love me when I look like this," he sighed, "but I'm just a boy. I get feelings, I get excited, just sometimes."

Gently, you reached for the zipper of his hoodie, slowly bringing it down. "W-Wh-What are you doing?" He protested, covering himself up immediately, but you had already seen it. The boy was skinny and his arms were wounded, partly wrapped up in bandages.

"I'll love you no matter what you look like, Wooyoung," you confessed. You locked eyes and immediately knew. Wooyoung was putty in your hands.

Your lips collided and bodies intertwined as you made out with him. A tear fell down his cheek but he persevered, finally feeling loved, finally feeling embraced, finally feeling understood.

You brought him to your room and you undressed each other and laid naked in your bed. "May I touch you, Wooyoung?" You asked, and he nodded.

Your hand slowly wrapped around the base of his hardened cock. His body tensed when your thumb touched his sensitive slit. "Try to relax, try to let go, sweetheart," you cooed. You slowly pumped his cock up and down and he let out the most beautiful moans. As you sped up his moans grew louder, and you loved how vocal he was.

His cock was beautiful and thick, veins running from the base all the way to the tip. "You're so gorgeous Wooyoung, you're so loveable," you spoke as you moved your hand faster.

Wooyoung's moans got whinier, louder and he squirmed, signalling you that he was close to orgasming. You stopped and brought his hand to your pussy. You guided two of his fingers inside you, breathing heavily.

His fingers were long and skillful, picking up the things you liked right away. "Yes, yes just like that, curl them- Yes! Right there," you moaned, throwing your head back. Wooyoung's fingers sped up and hit your favourite spots repeatedly, making you moan out his name.

"That's so good baby, yes, yes, I fucking love that, keep going, keep going!" You cried out. Wooyoung panted and looked at you in awe as he watched you slowly unravel on his fingers. Just as you're about to cum you stopped him, sinking down on his rigid cock.

You moaned loudly and arched your back as you rode him, his hands sliding from your hips to your thighs. Your moans collided, creating a beautiful melody.

"Wooyoung, Wooyoung," you moaned, chanting his name over and over again. "Y/N, please! Please, I'm gonna cum!" He cried, body shaking ever so slightly, cock twitching inside you.

Before you could say anything he burst, cumming deep inside you and filling you up. You moaned, being send over the edge. You clenched on his cock as you came hard, orgasm taking over your body and mind.

You collapsed on Wooyoung's chest and he held you. You held each other, until the sun set that day.

•

As soon as you publicly showed your support and attention for Wooyoung, you were an outcast. Everyone thought he either kidnapped you and threathened you or he used his 'black magic' on you.

Now you were bullied as well and Elsie and Lando had completely turned their backs on you. Wooyoung and you were alone in this world.

You sat in a field on a Saturday in June. The sun was slowly turning the sky orange as it dropped lower and lower.

"Why don't we run?" Wooyoung asked you, taking your hand. "Run?" "We could run, we could travel the world, start somewhere new, somewhere we'll be accepted, somewhere we'll be loved," Wooyoung spoke as he caressed your cheek.

You smiled and looked at him. His smile was bigger than ever and he was dressed in white and blue, bringing out his beautiful skintone. He was lighter, enlightened even.

"You want to run with me?" "Let's leave everything behind, run into the unknown," Wooyoung smiled, "I am finally happier, now that I have you. I am not afraid, I do not wanna hurt myself any longer, I won't wear black, I'll be happy, and free!" Wooyoung exclaimed.

You laughed and took his hands. "Where do we go?" "Where the sun leads us, Y/N," Wooyoung smiled. And you knew, you'd be fine with him.

Your special boy. No longer misunderstood.

#kpop #ateez #wooyoung #angst #fluff #starshinehwaa #smut

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