does anyone else just love the start of the kings men. like andrew coming back, matt punching kevin, everyone reacting to neil’s bruises and like. i just love it
“Murder is only a small part of a murder sorry”
-Andrew explaining to Aaron that he killed his mom
Hello mothers and fuckers of the All For The Game fandom. Usually I only post art on here, but I’ll post my Andrew cosplay, as a treat
(tw torture, child abuse, sexual abuse mention, suicide mention, knife and blood/injury mention)
* * *
Neil turned his head as the door clicked open and Aaron walked in, his face flushed and a ghost of a smile on his lips. He’d been with Katelyn, no doubt. The smile disappeared the instant he saw Kevin’s face and worry filled his eyes when he followed Kevin’s gaze to the floor, where Neil was crouching in front of Nicky, tending to his neck.
“What the fuck happened?” he asked. “Neil what did you—“
“Shut up Aaron, I didn’t touch him,” Neil said before Aaron could accuse him of something. Neil turned back to Nicky. He had a smile on his face, but Neil could see past it. There was sill fear in his eyes, and his hands were still trembling.
“You’re doing that wrong,” Aaron pointed out, gesturing to the cotton pad Neil was using to clean Nicky’s cut. Neil ignored Aaron and looked at Nicky.
“Hey, Nicky,” he said, trying to get his attention from whatever world Nicky was in right now. He looked at Neil. “I’ll talk to him, okay?” Nicky shook his head.
“No, it was my fault, I shouldn’t have—“
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Neil cut in. “You shouldn’t have touched him. But Andrew can’t shove a knife against your throat every time you do something stupid. You’d be up against that wall all the time if he could,” Neil said, trying to get some sort of reaction from Nicky. It worked, and Nicky huffed a laugh. He was still shaken, but he’d relaxed slightly. “Are you going to be okay if I…” Neil trailed off, gesturing to the door. Nicky nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “Go kick his ass for me,” he joked. Neil hadn’t seen Kevin move into the kitchen but when he came back he had a tub of ice cream and a spoon in his hands. He walked over to Nicky.
“What?” Nicky gasped. “No vegetables?” Kevin glared but shoved the tub of ice cream to him. Neil stood and turned to Aaron. He threw the bottle of disinfectant to him as he made his way toward the door.
“You do it properly, then, Doctor,” Neil said, finally answering Aaron’s comment from before. Aaron only levelled a sneer his way and walked over to Nicky.
* * *
Andrew was sitting on the edge of the roof, his legs dangling off the side of the building and a cigarette burning between his fingers. He didn’t turn at the sound of the door clicking open. Neil cleared his throat in case Andrew hadn’t heard and approached slowly. Andrew didn’t pass Neil a cigarette like he usually might’ve, but he didn’t object when Neil grabbed the packet next to him, took one out and lit it. Neil sat where the packet had been, keeping his distance from Andrew and letting his own legs hang in the cool afternoon air. Andrew let the smoke escape his mouth. Neil took note of the tremble in Andrew’s fingers. He thought back to his first trip to Columbia with the monsters, when he’d first witnessed Andrew going trough withdrawal from his medication. It had been the first time Neil had seen Andrew looking weak. Andrew flicked a rock off the ledge and watched it fall.
“It’d be easy, wouldn’t it? Tragic, too. Perfect end for a traumatised Fox like me, no?” Andrew pulled one knee up to his chest and puffed on his cigarette. Neil breathed in the smoke of his own cigarette and tried not to imagine watching another person he loved die. He’d seen enough of that already.
“If you wanted to die, you’d have done it already,” Neil shrugged, looking out over the campus. “So there has to be something you want to live for.” A moment of comfortable silence fell between them like a blanket over the troubles of the day. Andrew’s next words were quiet, like he didn’t quite want to say them.
“You,” he said. Neil snapped his head to Andrew. He hadn’t been expecting that bit of honesty. “And Aaron, and Kevin and even fucking Nicky,” he said, stubbing out his cigarette. Neil did the same and shifted closer to Andrew, but still kept his distance.
“Why?” he asked. Andrew knew what he meant. Why’d you react so badly?
“He touched me without my permission,” Andrew said. That was enough, Neil understood. But he’d seen the way Andrew’s eyes had shifted at Nicky’s words. He knew there was more to it than that.
“When my dad found out I was ticklish,” Neil started, and it got Andrew’s attention, “he had—he had Lola run knives all over my body. Any time I flinched, or squirmed or laughed, the knives would cut me, just slightly. Every day until I could keep still with a straight face. It took three weeks,” Neil finished. Andrew’s eyes raked Neil’s torso like he could see the scars underneath. He nodded. Andrew knew what Neil was asking. I gave you something, now you give me something. Andrew knew, just like Neil did, that he didn’t have to return the favour. That if he decided he didn’t want to talk about it, Neil wouldn’t push. But Andrew watched his trembling hands for a moment and looked back at Neil.
“Drake found out I was ticklish,” he said simply. Neil felt the words like a blow to the gut, even if he’d been expecting just as much. He nodded. Andrew turned and laid along the concrete ledge, one of his legs still hanging. Neil lit his cigarette again, breathing in the acrid smell of the smoke.
“Nicky’s pretty shaken,” Neil said. Andrew blindly threw another rock off the edge and Neil watched it miss a student on the ground by a few inches.
“I warned him.”
“You can’t keep putting a knife to Nicky’s throat when he does something dumb.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Junkie.”
“What?” Andrew sat up, shoving his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and staring at Neil.
“I don’t know how many times you’ve told me I can’t put a leash on you. I don’t want to,” Neil said. Andrew raised his eyebrows. “I can’t tell you what to do and I don’t want to tell you what to do.” Neil thought back to the day Andrew had put Neil’s hand on his chest. I won’t be like them, Neil had said. I won’t let you let me be. Neil knew Andrew was thinking it too. “He needs to know something, even the smallest amount, or one day, Nicky’s gonna grow a spine and he’s going to walk away.”
“That’ll be his choice, then,” Andrew said.
“And you’ll let someone that’s supposedly one of your reasons to live go just like that?”
“One down, three to go,” Andrew said, locking eyes with Neil. He’d been holding four fingers up but now there were only three.
“No,” Neil said. Andrew blinked. “You’re not getting rid of me, Drew.” Neil stood and walked closer to Andrew, but stayed out of arm’s reach. “I’ve been running my whole life. I’m tired of it. I’m not running anymore. Not from you.” Neil waited for Andrew to say something, and after a while he started to think that maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Neil wasn’t very good at doing that, though. Finally, Andrew stood, leaving only inches between him and Neil.
“What would you have me say to Nicky?” Andrew asked, like he didn’t really care for the answer.
“I- you don’t need to tell him why. Not really, anyway. I think just be real with him, Drew. Sit him down and tell him that he needs to respect your boundaries and you don’t want him to touch you unless he specifically asks.”
“I’ve told him,” Andrew responded dryly.
“With a knife to his throat.”
“That should get the message across clearly enough, I think.”
“Andrew,” Neil said because he knew not to say please. That seemed to get Neil’s message across clearly enough, because Andrew took the cigarette—almost burnt down to the butt—from Neil’s hand and let it drop to the ground.
“What are you tired of running from?” Andrew asked. There was a glint of something in Andrew’s eyes then. He wasn’t used to asking for help, but Neil thought this was something close to that. Andrew was admitting something—that he needed Neil.
“Reality,” Neil said. “I’m not used to being a real person. You proved to me that I could be. With you.” Andrew looked away, like the statement was too heavy to bare right now.
“Yes or no?” Andrew asked. Neil furrowed his brow, confused.
“Yes,” he said anyway. Andrew nodded.
“I don’t want to be touched right now,” Andrew said. It was Neil’s turn to nod this time, and as he did so, he shoved his hands in his pockets. Andrew took his own hands out of his hoodie and placed one on Neil’s chest, using it like a spacer between them as he leant and kissed Neil.
Andrew tasted like smoke and vanilla and Neil had to clench his hands into fists in his pocket to stop himself from reaching for Andrew, from pulling him closer and kissing him deeper. When Andrew finally broke away, he handed Neil his lighter and the pack of cigarettes in his pocket.
“I’ll talk to Nicky,” he said. Neil nodded. As Andrew made his way to the door that would lead him downstairs, he glanced back at Neil.
“Don’t run away, Rabbit.” Neil only sent him a two fingered salute in return.
hc that andrew’s really good at drawing, and bc of his eidetic memory, he can depict scenes perfectly. he didn’t draw much when he was on his meds, but got back into it when he was sober again. here are some memories i think he would recreate:
i’d like to think that, when andrew feels ready to show neil his drawings, they hang them up around their home. and when the foxes come over, they’re in awe at the memories and the love that is captured in the artwork, but they know not to say anything. dan gives them pictures, though, to hang up alongside the drawings, and they do
catboy andrew. yea
i wish i could be sorry but im not capable of it rn
aka i dragged @mochawlw into hell
list of people i don’t want to piss off:
1) renee walker
pls don’t repost <3
Riko: I will not let Kevin steal everything I’ve taken from him.
you know sometimes im like “aftg isn’t that dramatic”
and then i remember it literally starts with neil smelling the cigarette smoke and reminiscing about his mother…
I present to you, Neil doing the small waist, pretty face with a big bank challenge while Andrew watches and internally screams
Hc that when Neil was on the run Mary made him where heelies for fast escapes. So the shoes he showed up in, 100% had wheels. And in Columbia when he was drugged he had a change of shoes with him, just in case.
Coach: did you run here
Neil *in rainbow light up heelies in a totally straight face*: I rode actually.
About Nicky Hemmik and avoiding the word “please”
So I’ve seen some posts talking about how it would be hard for Nicky to give up his “manners,” basically not using the word Please around Andrew. (And I don’t remember the exact posts and I’m not mad/disagreeing with them). Please is a trigger for Andrew, so obviously Nicky doesn’t want to trigger him. This could be a long post but pretty much: people in the south say “kindly” too. Fr. Nicky could just replace please with “kindly”. As in: “could you kindly pass the salt” or even in negative ways like “could you kindly shut the fuck up”. And this is coming from a southerner lmao. Ik most people won’t care but it’s my thoughts on the subject
Tldr; Nicky could just say “kindly” instead of “please” and it would fit with him learning to not say that word and with him not losing his manners. It also even fits in the dialogue and slang of the geographical location.
am i doing this right???? part 15
one big difference between canon and fanon neil is scars. fanon neil’s scars are faint white lines that are slightly raised. he’s so self conscious and thinks hes ugly and the only way he will ever be happy again is if andrew kisses them and calls him beautiful :( canon neil’s scars are thick and ropey and definitely raised above the skin or sunken into it. some are white, others are red or brownish or pink or shine like plastic or are dull and leathery. he doesn’t like that they draw attention and that people stare. it triggers his paranoia and ptsd, but on the whole it’s just one more way he isn’t his father. he’s not okay with them but he’s not crying in the corner either