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delusionalwriterr · 2 months

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Gym Buddy

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You have a hard time keeping your eyes off of your gym crush.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: none

A/N: Shoutout to my gym girlies out there, this one's for you 🫵🏻

Masterlist

———

“What are we hitting today?” your friend asks you as you both enter the gym. You look over to the receptionist and greet him with a smile. Adjusting the gym bag on your shoulder, you turn to your friend and shrug.

“I was thinking legs?” you suggest as the two of you head to the locker area. You usually go to the gym alone, but today was thankfully one of the rare occasions your schedule aligned with your friend’s so you took this opportunity to invite her to the gym with you— something you used to do back when you were still in college.

Your friend nods in response before beginning to stuff her locker with the stuff she didn’t need, you mirroring her actions. “Quads, hams, glutes, or all of the above?” she chuckles, pulling out her shaker bottle and scooping in some pre-workout.

“I did quads last time, are you cool with hams and glutes?” you ask to which she nods again. “But you can do quads if you want.”

This time she shakes her head, “Nah, you know me. I can never say no to a good glute workout.” She turns to her side and nudges your hip with hers, drawing a chuckle from you.

You walk towards the workout area, your eyes scanning the room and immediately stopping by the benches. You feel your heart hammer in your chest as you watch him do bench presses— his chest puffing out and leaving no room for imagination thanks to the compression shirt he was wearing.

Bucky Barnes started going to your gym a few months ago, and to say you were shocked to see him there the first time was an understatement. Not that you were complaining though, but you practically fell off the treadmill you were using when you saw him walk in for the first time donning an oversized shirt, a pair of sweatpants, and a baseball cap.

Safe to say that he is definitely your gym crush, and you would be lying when you say that you look forward to going to the gym just to see if he was there.

Your gaze stayed on him as your friend led you to the Smith machine. You glance at his face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and mouth letting out huffs of breath as he raises the 100kg dumbells above him.

Goddamn.

Your attention is brought back to your friend as she begins loading the bar with a few weights to start your first exercise. You snap out of your daze and help her by loading up the other side before finally beginning.

Taking turns, the two of you did a few sets of back squats, but your mind was definitely elsewhere. You desperately tried not to look at Bucky for too long, afraid that your friend might notice or worse, you get caught by Bucky staring at him.

“Okay, what’s up? I feel like you left your brain back at home,” your friend joked as you took a break before starting your next exercise. You roll your eyes, taking a swig from your water bottle, ignoring her question.

Your eyes subconsciously trail to Bucky, once again. This time, he was hunching over the bench as he stared at his phone, chest rising and falling at a steady pace. Your friend follows your gaze and hums in realization.

“Ah, I see,” she pipes up with a smirk on her face, “you got hots for the Avenger.”

You laugh softly, turning back to her and shrugging your shoulders. “Guilty as charged.”

“Why don’t you go for it?” she pesters, causing you to rapidly shake your head. “No way, I’m scared he might just glare at me or something.”

She scoffs before beginning to look for other plates to load the smith machine. She looks around your area only to find none that would suffice for your next exercise. So she scans the gym in search of heavier plates only to find a stack of 25’s that were conveniently placed beside Bucky.

She smirks before trudging her way towards him despite your attempts to pull her back. “Come back here!” you whisper sharply, but ultimately give up once she reaches him.

You see her gently tap Bucky on the shoulder, prompting the super soldier to turn and face her. You feel your whole body tense and your face starts to heat up. You watch as your friend points to the stack of plates beside Bucky and you see him nod and begin to stand up.

Oh god, is he coming over here? You thought to yourself. Sure enough, you see your friend and Bucky each pick up a plate and head towards your direction. Your eyes briefly meet his, causing you to turn away and act busy by scrolling through your phone.

You feel your heartbeat quicken as you see them grow closer through your peripheral until they are standing right in front of the machine. “Thank you so much!” your friend smiles as they both load the weights onto the bar. “I would’ve asked my friend to help me out, but the pre-workout hasn’t kicked in for her, you know?” she jokes, earning a soft chuckle from Bucky and a glare from you.

“It’s no problem,” Bucky says, gaze shifting between the two of you, a shy smile on his lips. “Have a nice workout,” he adds, before heading back over to the benches.

Your friend turns to you, a wicked smile on her lips. “See? He won’t bite,” she chides, causing you to roll your eyes before heading to the machine to start RDLs. “Unless you’re into that sort of stuff,” she continues, earning a smack on the shoulder from you.

“I’m never working out with you again.”

—

The next few days were not as uneventful as you’d hoped. You thought by going to the gym alone like you usually do would mean that you’d have more time to just subtly watch Bucky from across the room without worrying about any friends that would force you to interact with him.

But just a few days after your initial interaction with Bucky, you were put in a situation where you had the chance to look at him up close once again.

You were doing tricep pushdowns on the cable machine when you felt a hand tap you on the shoulder, causing you to jump. You turn around to meet the pair of blue eyes you so desperately gazed at all the time.

You were frozen in your spot as you took in how attractive he looked in his compression shirt, arms bulging by the sleeves. You were snapped out of your daze when you realized he was talking to you. “I’m sorry, what?” you asked sheepishly, removing one of your earphones.

Bucky smiled shyly in return. “Are you using the other cable?” he asked, pointing at the machine next to you. You shook your head, heat rushing to your face upon the thought of him working out beside you. “No, go ahead.”

He smiled again before positioning himself beside you and starting his workout. You tried your best not to get distracted by the godly sight next to you, but you didn’t muster enough courage to talk to him after that.

The next time you talk was the week after that. You were doing a particularly heavy set of dumbbell shoulder presses (while keeping note of Bucky somewhere behind you doing bicep curls). It was already your third set, and you were aiming to push out 12 reps until you started to feel your weaker arm give out.

You braced your core harder as you pushed yourself to get the last rep in until you saw Bucky drop the dumbbells he was holding to rush behind you. “I got you,” he mumbled, lightly placing his hands just below your triceps to give you stability.

You tried to ignore your heart that was hammering in your chest as you were finally able to fully lift the dumbbells over your head. You moved to lower them to put them down, but Bucky suddenly wrapped his hands on your wrists. “All you, give me one more.”

Jesus Christ.

You pushed yourself one more time, ignoring the pain in your shoulders as you gave it your all. Once you finally put the dumbbells down, you turned to him. “Thanks,” you smiled, which Bucky returned.

“No problem,” he replied, but before you could say anything else, he was already walking back to his spot to continue his set. You were extra energized to workout that day.

Which brings you to a week after that. You were just stepping out of your car when you spot Bucky getting off his bike. You subtly watch as he took his helmet off, and revel in the way he tied his hair into a small bun by the nape of his neck.

God, you were down bad.

You were too busy trying not to drool and fail to notice that he was actually staring back at you. It wasn’t until he gave you a shy nod when you snap back to reality and return the gesture but throwing him a sheepish wave.

“What are you training today?” he calls out as he watches you take your gym bag from the trunk of your car and slung it on your shoulder. “Oh, I’m doing pull today. What about you?” you ask, silently hoping he was planning to do the same.

“Mind if I join you?” he asks which practically made your heart do backflips. Trying to hide your giddiness, you give him a short nod as you and him begin to make your way inside the gym.

You enter and greet a few familiar faces as Bucky follows suit before stopping in front of the lat pulldown machine. “Are you okay with starting with this?” you ask.

“What, no warm up?” Bucky asks in return, prompting your cheeks to heat up. “I don’t warm up,” you start, “And before you lecture me, I know it’s bad… I’m just too lazy to do it.”

He chuckles softly at this as he begins to take off the sweatshirt he was wearing to reveal that he was wearing a muscle tee underneath, leaving almost no room for imagination. “S’okay. I’m too lazy to warm up sometimes too.”

You laugh as you take a seat in front of the machine, pick a favorable weight, and begin your set. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, the thought of Bucky Barnes standing just beside you to watch you do your set was both nerve wracking and motivating at the same time. Sure, you wanted to impress him with the amount of reps you could push out, but the way he was staring at you was also making your knees grow weak.

Thankfully, you finish your first set with minimal struggle before standing up and gesturing for him to go next. “That seemed a little too easy for you,” Bucky began, “I know you can lift heavier than that, doll.”

You try to ignore the way your stomach flipped upon hearing the pet name and reply with a playful scoff instead. You take a swig from your bottle as he starts his set. While lifting the whole stack, you admire the way his back muscles expand and contract without focusing too much on the soft grunts that were leaving his mouth.

Did it suddenly get too hot in here?

After a few more workouts and taking turns checking each other out, you both decide to end the day with a set of hammer curls. You watch in awe as he begins to work with a pair of 80kg dumbbells, making your weight look puny.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” you huffed as you continue your set. You see him slightly turn his head towards you in acknowledgment. “Given that you literally have a serum that makes you… you know, strong enough to lift a truck—“ he laughs at that, “why do you still work out?”

He ends his set and places his dumbbells back on the rack. “Well it sort of feels like therapy for me. When I go to the gym, it’s like— are you done with these?” he stops, pointing at the dumbbells you placed down while he was talking. You nod and before you could protest, he picks up the pair with one hand and places them back on the rack for you. “Anyway, when I go to the gym, I can forget about everything, you know? It feels nice to leave the rest of the world behind and pretend like everything is normal in my life,” he finishes.

Bucky lifts his metal arm in front of him. “This doesn’t really help with that though,” he adds, letting out a sad laugh. Your heart clenches at his sentiment, but before you know it, you blurt out, “Do you wanna get coffee after this?”

You widen your eyes at your sudden forwardness. A few weeks ago, you could barely approach him to ask help in re-racking weights, but you also never really imagined you would one day do pull with him, too. So this was sort of like a seize the day kind of thing.

Bucky, too, was caught off guard with your invitation. He never really talked to anyone when he went to the gym, preferring to just keep to himself, but there was something about you that pulled him closer. Maybe it was how friendly you were with everyone in the gym or how he saw you continuously push yourself to your limit in every exercise you do, but he was always intrigued by you.

His therapist told him to step out of his comfort zone more, so with a smile, he replies, “Only if you let me be your gym buddy from now on.”

Your smile reaches your ears as you offer him your hand, which he gladly took, “Deal.”

———

A/N: This really gives off crack energy, but hope you liked it either way ◡̈

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #marvel #the avengers #marvel headcannon

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lacedinweb22 · 9 months

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Drunk and Crushing (Pt. 2) (Miguel O’Hara x reader)

🕸️ Entangled Series 🕸️ ch. 5 prev part

Summary: After you escape the chaos of the party and find shelter in the downstairs bathroom with Miguel, you get bold. You’re both drunk and vulnerable. Your feelings are impossible to ignore… or hide.

CW: self sabotage, retching, oblivious & painful character behavior, drunkenness >:)

Author’s note: I made this playlist of muffled tracks that I listened to NONSTOP while writing this chapter! PLEASE listen to them in the playlist’s order while reading! They fit the scenes so WELLL and the lyrics match the mood perfectly ❤️‍🔥

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrEXY2MI6p5edEO8pLnkNilq65067VNUu

✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

We found an unoccupied bathroom downstairs. There was still an overwhelming amount of drunk university students filling the house, but this shelter sufficed. Kendrick Lamar’s “LOVE” played, muffled and seeping through the walls. I sat myself on the bathtub edge, feeling myself get heavier; the drunkenness had creeped up on me.

I paused my overwhelming thought traffic and looked up at Miguel, who was leaning back against the sink counter. He gripped the edge of the counter; his fingers tightly flexed, displaying his muscular, bruised up hands.

The restroom was dark, lit only by a small purple lamp; there was still enough light to see the pink in my cheeks and the red and purple in his knuckles.

He looked down at me as I scanned his entire figure: his muscles, scars, his clothes. I circled back to his eyes; he was so much higher above me, his gaze looking down on me. It felt so… dirty. He tilted his head at me, questioning my gaze. I looked away nervously, realizing how it looked. I looked down at the soda can still in my hand.

“This can is so dented, did you drop it?” I asked, laughing. He looked at the can, then back at me, “No, yes, I– yeah, I dropped it. Some douche bumped into me,” he explained, suspiciously slow. “Hmph,” I scoffed. “Wait a minute… that reminds me, wheredidyou go earlier formysoda? You were gone forawhile. You just disappeared. You’vebeendoingthat alotlately. Disappearing. Ditching me.” The slurred words escaped me so easily.

“I…a… friend called me outside to… deal with this fight that was breaking out, and I… had to stop it. So I, you know, went out and reasoned with them, worked it out,” he explained, nodding, reassuring himself that his story was believable. I continued, “Mmmmkay… and our study date– sessions you couldn’t make it to? That you canceled on or ditched after a few minutes? What’s the excuse for those?” “I told you, my brother has a shitty car and I’m the one he calls to work on it.” I rolled my eyes. “Gabriel’s a fucking tech god. A literal engineer, right? But okay, sure, whatever you say Miguel,” I muttered, shaking my head, and rubbing my tired eyes.

“I mean if you have… like a girl, or… a sneakylink, or whatever just fucking say it. I mean it’sfine, O’Hara, you’re my friend. We can talk about thesekindsofthings,” I insisted, bitterly.

“There’s absolutely no girl,” he replied, firmly. “The only girl, who is actively in my life— who I want in my life, is you. You’re the girl, okay? You’re the sneakylink minus thesneaky. You’re the link. But not sex, I mean you’re thegirl I want to hangoutwith–” he drunkenly blurted.

“I’m the girl?” I repeated, hiding my smile in my hands. Though I didn’t believe he was gone breaking up a fight, my pounding heart overpowered my confusion; listening to him stumble over his words made my stomach burst with butterflies. “So you–” or with alcohol. I dropped to my knees and puked into the toilet. “Fuck, Y/N,” Miguel exclaimed, as he dropped to the floor with me. He brushed my hair back and held it in his hand. I groaned. Yep, I’m fucked. I’m so drunk. He rubbed my back. He grabbed his water bottle and aided it to my lips.

“I mean since we’re asking all these questions, who was that guy you met up with earlier?” he asked, still holding my hair. “Mmm funny you assume it was a guy… do you mean Jenn?” I breathed out into the toilet bowl, ready to vomit again. He breathed out, relieved. “Whatwas that?” I questioned, turning around looking up at him. “What, what?” he replied, acting clueless. “You breathed out like ughhhHHHHH,” I mimicked.

“Shhhh! Stop moaning, people are going to think we’re fucking in here. They’re right outside the door,” he blurted out, trying to shush me. I’m so drunk. My body was not obeying me. Maybe the subconscious version of me deep inside, but not the me I needed it to obey.

“I wish we were.” FUCK. I caught myself, “I wishwewere… back home” FUCK. “At my apartment so we couldddd play videogames. Hahaha yeah…” I finished off quietly, staring at him, waiting for him to shut me down. Fucking drunk idiot, stop talking, shut up. His eyebrows knit together as his eyes explored my face, trying to decipher the words slurring out of my mouth. “Okay, Y/N,” he breathed out, brushing my hair back, “you’re…drunk,” he said, looking at my hair in his hands. I hate him. My head felt heavier.

I could absolutely not keep my thoughts inside. Fucking drunk word vomit.

My eyes brushed his. God I wish you knew. “God I wish you knew.”

“Knew what?” he responded, his eyes reignited with curiosity. “What?” I responded. “You said you wish I knew,” he responded, grabbing my shoulder, trying to shake the drunkenness and truth out of me.

“Oh shit, was that out… loud?” I breathed out, holding back my vomit. “I don’tknow maybe that… I wish you knewwhatIwasthinking, or maybe I wishyoufeltwhat I feel…” I closed my eyes, my mouth defeated my common sense. “I mean come ONNN, Miguel, you’re so good at physics, and shit, but you– you don’t see this? You solve all those equations, but you can’t figure this out? Nope, obliviousMiguel, hahahhshsifhmm, remember when you called me oblivious? Ironic,” I slurred, smiling with my eyes closed.

I leaned into the toilet again to retch. I barfed what seemed like a gallon of soda and tequila. “Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, holding my hair and rubbing my back. “I’m sorry, this is my fault, I should’ve been watching you, I-I should have watched how much you drank,” he scolded himself. He sat on his knees behind me, much taller than me, then lowered his head to rest on my shoulder, still holding my hair. His cheek pressed against the back of my shoulder, then he slowly turned, his lips now pressing against me. He’s drunk. My face remained hovering into the toilet. There was a lot going on.

“Ugh that was it. That was the one,” I groaned. I started to stand up, as Miguel remained on his knees. He wrapped his big hands around my waist to help me up. Once I stood up, I chugged mouthwash and rinsed the bitter taste away. I turned to find Miguel sitting on the floor, against the wall, staring at me, longingly. His eyes were darker, different. His cheeks were pink, his face dewy.

“I’m feeling it,” he muttered, looking up at me. I walked over to him, standing above him, as he looked up at me. “Very good. Now we can be in the same place,” I said, mischievously smiling down at him.

“We’ve always beenin thesame place, just at different times… I don’t know what I’m saying,” he groaned as he rested his face in his hands. I handed him the water bottle. “Drink some, Mig.” He nodded and drank.

“I feel so gross and sweaty,” I groaned. “Is it weird to shower here? I’ll ask Lizzie,” I muttered. I strained my brain power to call Lizzie to ask if I could use the shower. This shower should sober me up. It needs to.

“I got the greenlight!!” I exclaimed to Miguel. He remained silently sitting resting his face in his hands. I crouched down in between his legs. “Mig, are you okay?” “Just tired, and… drunk,” he breathed out.

“Okay, I’m gonna take a shower, but you sit here. Give me five minutes.” He got up, closed the toilet, and sat. I stood in front of him, as he remained sitting on the toilet. He watched and seemingly admired me as I pinned my hair up.

“I’m going to change my clothes in the shower, before I turn on the water. Do you think I could hand you my clothes?” I asked. He nodded, with loyal puppy dog eyes.

I took off my socks and shoes then got into the tub and closed the shower curtain. “Fuck, it’s slippery,” I gasped, almost slipping. “Be careful. No, wait, you’re drunk. Maybe this isn’t such a great idea,” he responded, his voice getting louder as he stood up. I could see his shadow through the curtain. “I’ll be fine,” I responded. I began taking off my jewelry and placing it into his hand, which peeked through the curtain as he looked away.

I then took off my dress, and handed it to him. Then my bra, and finally my underwear.

“You’re so obedient,” I teased, giving him my panties. I placed it slowly into his hand. I watched his fingertips feel for a hint of what he was feeling, then his grip tightened as he finally looked down to see what it was. “Yeah… well, that’sthe effect you haveonme,” he slurred as he looked down at my lace underwear. He quickly looked back up and placed it on the counter without looking. He’s drunk.

“Shit Miguel, it’s catching up to you, I mean it caught up to you” I laughed, as I started the water and stood in the corner of the shower, peeking out at him. He sat back down, looking at his hands in his lap. The steam began to fill the restroom.

I heard shuffling and peeked to find Miguel taking off his moto jacket. He was now just wearing his snug form-fitting t-shirt. His back muscles were so fucking visible now. I watched him from behind the curtain, his muscles flexing as he adjusted his shirt. I admired his huge biceps being squeezed through the snug cotton sleeves, and his veiny forearms resting in his lap. It’s like he’s testing the durability of his fucking shirt.

He took a deep breath then looked back up at me to find me watching him. “Sorry– I,” I muttered as he immediately looked back down at his hands as I closed the curtain and started to soak myself in the warm water.

I stared at the tile walls when a huge shadow towered over me through the curtain. “Miguel? Are you… there, and okay?” I asked, nervously. “I just need… to stand up. I’m fucked up,” he muttered. I peeked out of the curtain. He was pacing back and forth in the small restroom, his eyes furrowed as he stretched an arm across his chest. He looked at me, his gaze softened, then nervously looked down and turned around to keep pacing.

I rinsed off then turned off the water. “Miguel, could you–” “Here,” he replied as he handed me a towel through the curtains. “Okay, I’m goingto come out, but you’re going to need to close your eyes,” I warned. “Got it,” he replied. “Are they closed?” “Yes.”

I slowly got out of the tub, and stood on the mat. He was facing me, eyes closed. I dried off, then took off my towel and hung it up. As I let my hair down and slowly slid my underwear on, I felt a burst of daringness. That shower didn’t sober me up enough. “Can you help me… ummm put my bra on?” I muttered. “What? Your–” “Bra, yes. And you also need to zip my dress up. That’s the Y/N-coming-to-a-party-with-you tax,” “so this is a commonly paid tax,” he muttered. Is he jealous? I smiled at the thought. “You’re so dumb. No. Only you,” I muttered, as I watched his lips fight a smile, “Miguel, just… shut up and help me.” I grabbed his hands, as his eyes remained closed and put them on my shoulders.

“Okay, see here are myshoulders. I’m going toturnaround, then youaregoing to go down to myback and feelmybra and hookit okay?” I breathed out. “Okay,” he responded, quietly. I turned around as his hands brushed my back. He moved my hair to the side of my neck, then traced his fingers down my back to find my bra. His warm, calloused hands brushed against my skin. Chills shot through my body. “Fuck,” I breathed out, accidentally. “What? What did I do?” he asked quickly. “Nothing, I was just— nothing,” I blurted. He scoffed then took a deep breath.

He hooked it. “Okay, now dress,” I pulled the dress up, and turned for him to zip it from the back. “Reach your hands out again,” I instructed. His hands touched my hair, then brushed down to the zipper right above my ass. His knuckles brushed my underwear then up my back as he zipped it slowly.

I turned around. His eyes were still closed, his cheeks growing pink. I tiptoed so I was closer to his face. I looked up at his lips. I could kiss him so easily right now. His eyebrows scrunched, “Are you almost ready? Is it okay?” he whispered. “Mhmm,” I whispered back, facing him. I leaned closer to his lips. He breathed through his nose, his warm breath caressing my lips. I want to kiss you so bad. I took a deep breath. You’re drunk. I lowered my heels back to the ground.

“You can look now,” I sighed, as I looked in the mirror and fixed my smudged eyeliner.

He watched me, his reflection in my peripheral vision. He sat back on the toilet and turned to watch me put my necklaces on.

I finished, then walked to him. I stood in between his legs. He looked up at me then down at my neck. “I like the new one. I see you replaced the one you gave me,” he whispered, pulling the black cord necklace I gave him from out under his shirt. I traced my fingertips around it, smiling down at him. He still wears it. He raised his fingertips to my neck then whispered, “Can I?” I nodded. I kneeled down, our faces now level to each other.

He traced his fingers along my necklace. “So beautiful,” he whispered, looking at my necklace then up to my lips.

I leaned closer into him. His fingertips traced from my necklace to my cheek, caressing my burning, flushed skin. This is so new. I sighed, my stomach overwhelmed with butterflies.

“I can hear your heart racing,” he whispered. “What— how?” I whispered, putting my hand on my chest to feel it. “I… have great hearing, you know this, my senses are impeccable,” he replied, shrugging. “If only your amazing senses extended to mind reading,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

“You know, Y/N, I can read you… most of the time,” he said, brushing my hair out of my face. “Okay, then what am I thinking right now?” “I have my guesses,” he replied, looking at my lips then up into my eyes. His longing eyes painted him desperate. Does he mean it? What is he thinking?

Miguel leaned in; I followed, leaning in slowly, our lips close to touching. Is he going to do what I was too scared to? His thumb traced my cheek, as he looked back and forth between my lips and eyes.

Our lips finally met.

And it was everything I dreamt it to be. The kiss was warm, and raw, no holding back, just drunk honest passion. His lips were soft, and he tasted like dr. pepper. He’s so addictive; I want to stay here forever. No confusion, or self-doubt, just him and I in our small corner of this chaotic party.

I stroked his face, then combed my fingers into his waves, my thumb never losing contact with his cheek. The kiss intensified as he grabbed my waist, pulling me closer, and kissing me harder.

Eventually, to my disappointment, our lips gently parted.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, “I’ve wanted this… for so long,” he whispered, his eyes drowsy. I searched his gaze. He looked like he meant it. But he’s drunk. A wave of anxiety crashed onto me, disrupting the bliss I had been chasing for so long.

He doesn’t want me. He’s drunk. This shouldn’t have happened like this.

“You don’t mean that, no, we can’t– we can’t,” I groaned, pulling away. “Yes, we can… Why not?” he replied softly and drunkenly, his eyes still drowsy. His hand reached to mine as he held it in between us.

He read my face then looked at me worriedly, snapping out of it. “Fuck, I’m sorry, was that not okay? Did I–” he rambled, panicking. “I’m sorry, I’m drunk… you know, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to,” I whispered.

“Well that sucks. I… really wish you did,” he muttered, looking at me, confused.

I remained on my knees, looking down at my hand in his. His eyes were stuck on mine, trying to read me.

Overwhelming silence filled the small restroom; not even the music bleeding into the room could save us.

I reasoned desperately, “I just– I know you don’t want this, you know? I know you don’t like me like that… you don’t mean it— I know you don–”

His eyebrows furrowed, “And why couldn’t I like you? How would you know?” he asked, irritated. I pulled my hand from his as I stood up, away from him.

“Because, you don’t want this! You’re drunk, Miguel. You don’t get to have this when you’re drunk and it’s fun and convenient for you since I’m the only one around,” I blurted, angrily.

I looked down at him; he looked up at me confused. He closed his eyes, looked down, took a deep breath, then whispered, “Y/N, you don’t know what I want. I want you— and I’m confused, why can’t you just let me… I want you. Why can’t we try, why can’t we just give this–”

“Miguel, you’re not getting it. I am just a spur of the moment type of thing to you! This is real to me, and to you this is just drunkenness–”

“Y/N, I’m not–”

“Yes, Miguel, you are drunk,”

“Stop putting words into my mouth! I am drunk but I want you, sober or not!”

Silence.

“I just… I have to feel this way, everyday. These feelings of desperation, an-and longing for you every single moment of every single day every time I see you, knowing I can’t have you, and you don’t want me like that… this isn’t fair,” I exclaimed, turning around to the sink, “You disappear, you come back, cheeks flushed, I mean, Miguel, who were you really with? Who do you leave me for? Stop lying to me, just tell me the truth, that’s all I want, just tell me…”

I looked down, trying to control my anger and the tears I felt welling up. “Forget it, forget it.” I can’t handle the lies he’s going to feed to me. Or the truth.

He stood up, hovering over me as I cried silently over the sink. “Did you not see all 100 frat boys watching you walk into here? Do you not see me trying to keep you near me, away from them? There’s only you—” he argued, drunkenly but still firmly. “God, Miguel, everyone was looking at you! How fucking oblivious are you? Everyone that wants you and everyone who wishes they were being looked at by all of those beautiful girls. They. Were. Looking. At. You,” I exclaimed. “They’re jealous I’m with YOU,” he exclaimed back. He’s fucking delusional. “Sure, yeah, that makes alotttt of sense! Yeah, definitely,” I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous,” he sharply replied, turning away.

I sighed and shook my head. He doesn’t get it.

Or maybe I just ruined everything.

“I–I have to go, I need to– need to go home,” I whispered as I reached for the door. His hand grabbed my wrist.

“No, just… stay,” he whispered.

I turned and looked up at him. He stood against me, his hand still gripping my wrist. He looked down at me, his eyebrows furrowed upwards, begging me, “Please,” he continued, “this one time… for me.”

That could be enough for me to stay.

I looked down and closed my eyes. Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Y/N, we can’t say ‘goodnight’ and still be mad at each other,” he explained, “Can you listen to me, can you just let me explain–”

The door began to rattle against my back as someone knocked violently on the other side. Miguel sighed as we both moved out of the way and opened the door. A couple looked at us grumpily. We both grabbed our stuff then left the restroom.

I sped walked through the crowd.

“Y/N, please, let’s just talk some– somewhere quiet, just the two of us. You can’t leave upset, that’s our #1 rule, and I don’t want you walking alone, especially not after what happened last month,” he called out behind me.

I turned around, as we stood in a large crowd looking across at each other. The neon lights lit up his face in the dark. If I wasn’t so drunk, and so upset with him, if I ignored the truth, the fact that he’s hiding something from me, I would kiss him. I would let the lights and the music blind and deafen me, because it wouldn’t matter. All I would feel is him. But I am drunk, and I know he’s lying.

We were in a chaotic bubble of people pushing and drinking, but I could only see him. He looked at me desperately, as I kept my face stern. “Y/N, I’ll explain— why I’ve been disappearing, I just—” “You don’t need to. Not anymore. I can’t keep pretending this ‘us’ and ‘ours’ thing isn’t tearing me up inside. And… it’s fine, I’ll be fine. I need to be alone.”

I walked out, called a cab, and waited outside on the lawn surrounded by loud drunk people. I cried, hugging myself as I watched Miguel walk drunkenly, down the street and into the night.

to be continued…

next part

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flowersandbigteeth · 1 year

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Your vampire husband commits a sin

General Plot: Oh dear, this got quite dark...Your new vampire husband's mother visits

Word Count: 4K

Vampire (Levi) x single mother reader

A/N: this got way darker than I anticipated, so I want to come back to Levi with some lighter stuff in the future, but the story kind of compelled me

💕 SFW MASTERPOST 💕

W: angst, angst, angst...murder...this is so much darker than a lot of other things I've written so be warned...darling becomes yandere a little?

You buried your face in your hands, watching Levi dance around his unnecessarily fancy living room with your baby in his arms. He adored Meryl and since a week ago when he’d declared you were his wife and took you both in, he spent as much time with either you or her in his arms as possible. You were quite a bit more flighty, while Meryl was a willing participant, so more often than not she ended up being toted around.

You didn’t entirely trust Levi, but what you did believe with all your heart, because it was written all over his face was that he loved Meryl and would never let any harm come to her. So you accepted the help. Levi had maids to help you with diapers and food. He’d even hired a nanny, though you were still wary of leaving Meryl alone with her. Not that she didn’t come with the best recommendations, this was just all very new and stressful. It soothed you a bit to keep Meryl close by.

“We don’t need to invite 600 people to an adoption party!” you insisted.

He had already legally adopted Meryl, just like he legally married you.

He turned to you, his clan Lord taking over.

“My clan needs to recognize my daughter and wife. I know it seems frivolous now, but it is imperative to your safety. You are not meat to be eaten or a token to be traded and a proper show will establish that you are above them,” he explained sharply, “there will be many parties, so you will have to adjust.”

You pressed your hands together and looked at him over your fingers.

“I’m very certain it is illegal for vampires to eat people without consent at all,” you reminded him.

He laughed as if you’d made a joke and turned his attention back to Meryl who was tugging at his hair so he would throw her. She liked when he tossed her gently and then caught her again. Suddenly he sniffed the air and frowned, handing Meryl abruptly back to you and sliding the chair you were in across the room as if the two of you weighed nothing.

There was a knock at the door.

“Enter.”

One of the many vampire minions Levi had walking around, this one named Eleanor, was standing at the door. At first you’d been a little instinctively jealous of the pretty vampires. It, of course, had been a little shameful. You were studiously resisting Levi’s advances, you shouldn’t be feeling anything at all, but it soon became very clear there was nothing to even be concerned with. All of his underlings were thoroughly terrified of him, he was not boyfriend material.

With you and Meryl he was gentle, affable, and kind, but since you’d been there you’d covered Meryl’s face twice while he’d dismembered two of them for failing to follow his orders to the letter. Suffice to say, you weren’t exactly sold on his protection, though you couldn't think of a way out of it. It wasn’t as simple as running away from him, you had Meryl to think of too. You couldn’t drag her through chaos to escape him. If he was promising to provide her with a stable life and not hurt either of you, you couldn’t afford to sneeze at him.

He’d tried to explain to you that he lived in a different world than you did. Vampires weren’t humans, they were monsters. To rule them he had to maintain absolute authority, which called for ruthlessness and displays of power. You’d simply nodded, accepting his answer for what it was. In a fish bowl full of sharks, you wanted the biggest one on your side.

“Darrrrrlinnnng!” a lovely vampire cooed as she floated through the door wearing a rather sexy, slinky black dress.

She looked strangely familiar with long, long black hair and your eyebrows raised as she threw herself around Levi. He growled at her and pushed her away.

“Mother, please,” he grumbled, “why are you here?”

She pouted.

“Can’t a mother visit her son?” she asked, “especially now! I was told you got married and now you have a baby. You weren’t going to tell your own mother?”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“You’ve been banished for hundreds of years, what makes you think you can just come breezing in here…?”

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as she noticed the two of you. She grinned and skipped over to you.

“How lovely! She’s just beautiful. She’ll make a pretty vampire,” she said, tipping up your chin with her red nail tipped finger. Her eyes dropped to Meryl and they narrowed.

“You’ll be having your own children, won't you?” she asked, suddenly turning and looking back at her son.

He looked extremely annoyed.

“It’s much too early to have that sort of discussion,” he said diplomatically, glancing at you, “and Meryl is my child.”

She frowned.

“But she’s not, is she?” she said, seeming put out and wrinkling her nose at Meryl.

For her part, Meryl’s eyes filled with tears and she started crying.

“Sh, sh,” you cooed, pulling her to her chest and she quieted to soft sobs as you rubbed her back.

“Vampire babies are much less fussy,” she pointed out.

Levi growled and crossed the room.

“Why are you here?” he gritted out tightly.

She smiled up at him, batting her eyelashes.

“I wanted to be around to see my grandchildren grow up,” she said, taking a step behind you and stroking your head, “and since I know all about the situation with the baby’s father, I knew you wouldn’t turn me away. You need help don’t you? Raising a baby is hard for a new mother. You need your family.”

Levi actually looked a little taken off kilter for a second and frowned. You looked up to him and cocked your head to the side, confused as to what your ex-fiance had to do with anything.

He quickly schooled his features and took his mother’s shoulders, pulling her away from you.

“Of course, it’s natural for a grandmother to want to see her grandchildren,” he said, a stiff smile forming on his face, “let me have Eleanor prepare you a suite so you’ll be comfortable.”

When he’d shuffled her from the room you looked at Levi for an explanation. When he walked back in he didn’t look at you immediately, instead drifting over and picking up Meryl. He cradled her to his cheek, whispering something to her while he patted her back and carried her to the window to look out. He seemed somewhere between paralyzingly angry and endlessly sad.

You slowly got up and walked across the room, placing a hand on the small of his back. His head jerked down to you and he looked surprised.

“You okay?” you asked softly.

He leaned his back against the window and nodded wanly, brushing his fingers through Meryl’s wisps of baby hair.

“My mother murdered my father,” he said evenly and you gasped.

His eyes flicked to you.

“It’s not that uncommon in my world,” he said, “even married couples often don’t trust one another, but I was very close with my father. Of course, she’s my mother, how could I execute her? I’m a vampire, but even some things- So…I banished her…”

You brushed a hand against his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” you said, “that’s horrific…I wish there was something I could say...but… Why are you letting her stay here?”

He looked somewhere over your shoulder before giving you a small smirk.

“I suppose love is really the only answer,” he said and you nodded at the slightly enigmatic statement.

It was sort of bittersweet that he still cared for his mother even after what she did. You were still a bit worried.

“Is she dangerous?” you asked.

He looked at you with the weight of a mountain on his shoulders.

“Yes. Don’t ever find yourself alone with her, do you understand?” he asked, “don’t ever leave Meryl alone with her.”

You nodded, trembling a little. This new world you’d been thrust into was frightening.

He looked at you for a long time, then his face shifted to something you couldn’t read.

“I’m sorry,” he said, handing Meryl back to you and cupping your cheek. He planted a kiss on your forehead and looked into your eyes.

“I’m scaring you,” he went on, “you shouldn’t be terrified in your own home. I’ll sort this out.”

You didn’t really know what that meant either so you just nodded slowly, pulling Meryl closer to you.

–

“Peekaboo!” you giggled at Meryl, popping your face from between your hands while you sat on a blanket in Levi’s garden. He lived in an expansive mansion just outside of the city on a hill. The house was contemporary and the garden had a green lawn with more modern sculptures than flowers.

A stiff, female vampire guard stood off to the side in the shadows watching for threats. Levi didn’t allow male staff near you and though he had them, he preferred to meet with them where you weren’t.

Meryl was giggling at you and you hardly noticed your guard stiffen and disappear into the garden, going after some unknown threat. When you looked up again Levi’s mother was approaching you across the lawn, dressed in a rather garish pink suit and high heels that were sinking into the grass.

“Oh there you are darling!” she beamed at you, flashing her fangs and adjusting the large round sunglasses on her face, “Levi has been doing too good of a job hiding you from me!”

She held a matching pink umbrella aloft. Vampires could tolerate the sun, but they didn’t like it.

You instinctively scooped Meryl into your arms and held her to your chest as you started to get up. Glancing around, you frowned, finding your guard was missing.

“I should really be heading inside, Ms. Prishdarov,” you mumbled, trying to gather Meryl’s baby things.

“No, no, darling!” she purred, pushing you firmly back down with strength you would not expect from a thin woman, her sharp nails pricking your shoulder, “I insist. Let’s enjoy the sunshine and chat a bit. I never even got to introduce myself before my son hurried me off. I’m Karen, but you should call me mom!”

You gave her a wan smile, pulling Meryl to your opposite side as she arranged herself on your blanket.

“(Y/N),” you said, trying to be polite.

Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were sure Karen could tell you were terrified of her, though she simply looked you over with a cool smile on her pink lips.

“My son really does know how to pick ‘em,” she said, her fingers trailing over the curve of your chin, “you really are lovely, a pity you were already with child.”

You frowned at her.

“Levi loves Meryl. He considers her his own,” you said defensively, turning to your daughter and handing her a brightly colored plastic toy shaped like a giraffe, hoping she didn’t understand Karen’s words.

“My son is soft,” she said icily, “in my time a man would simply get rid of the bastard child and have a proper one.”

You narrowed your eyes at what she was proposing.

“That’s incredibly savage,” you gasped, holding Meryl closer to you, “and Meryl is not a bastard. My fiance abandoned us.”

She snorted.

“Did he?” she asked, looking you over, “you must have very low self esteem to believe a man would simply dump a woman as pretty as you.”

You shook your head at her, drawing your brow.

“You’re not making any sense,” you spat, annoyed, “he had a sickness and stole everything from his own child.”

She laughed out loud.

“Okay dear,” she said, “I didn’t mean to upset you. Of course he did and Levi was there just in time to step in, wasn’t he?”

You glared at her.

“What are you trying to get at?” you asked, confused, “my ex is probably gambling Meryl’s college fund away with some call girl as we speak. I didn’t expect to be taken in by vampires, but Levi has been very kind to us.”

You and your fiance had gone through a lot to get him treatment for his gambling addiction. It made you sad that he’d thrown your future together away and you knew he had a sickness, but things had progressed far beyond anything you could do to help him. You had to protect Meryl and if he chose to abandon the two of you, then he might as well have been dead. Perhaps your own hurt at the painful rejection and betrayal was tainting your thoughts, but you were human and it couldn’t be helped.

She smiled at you and brushed her thumb over your cheek.

“You’re just perfect aren’t you?” she laughed, “well your ex isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about. I was hoping we could be allies. As I said, my son is soft, he needs my help, but due to some unfortunate circumstances he just won’t listen to me…”

“You murdered his father,” you said blandly, getting right to the point.

You didn’t like Ms. Prishdarov and your patience was wearing thin. She laughed.

“Darling, you have no concept of the nuance of being a clan Queen,” she said as if she were talking to a child, “but you will. I don’t need to explain my actions and I’m not ashamed of them. Like I said…my son is soft.”

She looked at you.

“But you…you need strong allies,” she said, “and I can be on your side.”

“What do you want?” you asked.

“I simply want you to be the little bird in Levi’s ear…any advice I give is only in your best interest and-”

“Get away from her!” Levi’s deep voice snarled as he approached rapidly across the lawn. He passed his mother and snatched you up by the shoulder, his cold hands digging into your arm.

“What did I tell you?” he snapped at you, dragging you and Meryl inside.

“But our-” you started to say, but the look he gave you was ferocious, his red eyes glinting like a stop light. He hadn’t actually wanted an answer.

When you were inside, he pushed you against the wall.

“I told you never to be alone with her!” he boomed down at you, his face a frightening, animal version of itself. Meryl sobbed in your arms and you quickly looked down to soothe her.

When you glanced back up, Levi was rubbing his eyes and pacing.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking back at you, his eyes widening when you flinched as he put his hand on your arm.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Please forgive me…it’s just…you don’t know what kind of woman my mother is. Where was Veronica?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“How should I know!? She disappeared! Do you think I really want to be alone with that woman?! She keeps talking about Meryl like she’s some kind of rotten fruit that I should just abandon!”

You bounced a crying Meryl on your shoulder, cuddling her cheek and he sank against the opposite wall in the hallway.

“Let me have her,” he said, holding his arms out to you.

Hesitating for a second, you finally handed her over and he cooed at her.

“I’m so sorry baby bat,” he said gently kissing her forehead, “I should have never raised my voice at you or your mother.”

Her tears slowed at her favorite person’s gentle attention, soothing away the fear.

“She needs to go, Levi,” you growled.

You didn’t feel comfortable demanding much from him and there wasn’t much that he didn’t provide, but as a mother…this you could not tolerate.

His eyes flickered up to you in surprise and a deadly look settled over his face. You thought he would deny you or chide you for pushing his mother away, but he was only silent and stone serious. Giving you a firm nod, he turned his attention back to Meryl, letting her chew on his finger and play with the hair falling over his shoulder.

–

You woke to screaming and the breaking of glass. Your eyes flew around the room to Meryl’s bed, where she was just pushing herself up. Hurrying over to her, you pulled her in your arms and hurried to the corner of the room, listening.

You heard Karen’s howling laughter.

“You’re weak!” she snarled, then you heard some glass breaking, “you’ll never do it! You’re too soft. That woman has only made you weaker. If you think this little tantrum means anything, you’re a fool!”

There was only the sound of heavy feet crunching on glass.

“You’re right, mother. I was soft, but I let you leave with your life and you returned to blackmail me!” he boomed, “you are the fool!”

You heard wood splintering and thuds as if heavy things were hitting the floor.

“You can’t! You won’t!” she screamed, but this time it wasn’t so confident.

Then there was a squelch and silence.

You heard dragging feet and then the door opened. Looking up, you saw Levi standing in the frame staring at his bloody hands.

“What have I done?” he gasped, his eyes full of horror.

Your heart dropped in your chest and you hurriedly put Meryl down in her crib before crossing the room to him and taking his bloody hands, pulling them to your face.

You were surprised? Yes. Horrified? Yes…but Levi had done this for you, because you asked him to. This wasn’t at all what you meant, but hell if you were going to tell him that now.

“You did this for us Levi,” you told him, looking into his red eyes, dark and dim. They were glazed, replaying the vision of his mother dying at his hand over and over in his head.

You tipped up on your toes and pulled his face down to you.

“Look at me Levi,” you said, “focus on me. You did the right thing. You did. You did this for us. For your family.”

His pupils focused on you, desperate for something to hold onto, so you tipped your mouth up and pressed it against his. His lips were cool and at first they were stiff and unmoving. Then they softened just slightly and you pulled him closer. You gave him the softest most loving kiss you'd given anyone.

When you pulled away his eyes were sharper, the blood red color returning. You pulled his bloody hands back to your face and kissed them, ignoring the sanguine mess.

“Come with me, Levi,” you murmured, pulling him behind you to the bathroom, “let me help you.”

You ignored the shocking vision of blood on your lips in the mirror as you turned on the bathroom light and sat him down on the toilet. Not letting him look at his hands, you pulled his face up to you, giving him the smallest smile.

“You’re safe, everything is going to be okay,” you hummed, “I’m here and I’m never going to leave you.”

His eyes got wide.

“Promise?” he asked and you could see he was broken. He needed this. What was done was done. You couldn’t go back.

“I swear to you Levi, you did this thing for me. I’ll never betray you,” you swore.

Pulling towels off of the shelf you started the bath, while you cleaned the blood from his hands, humming to him like you did Meryl when you put her to sleep.

“Hey, eyes on me,” you whispered, when they drifted down to his fingers while you scrubbed the blood from under the nails.

Levi had never been so happy to settle his gaze on you in his life. It was a lovely vision, his goddess with a streak of blood on her lips a hint at her future. He thought he’d never be able to forget his own mother’s eyes going dim as he severed her head from her neck, but while he looked at you, your soft smile. The same soft smile that soothed his daughter…the weight on his heart lifted. He only felt tired. So tired.

When every speck of red was cleaned from his hands, you helped him undress and put him in the bath. Your hands drifted over his skin lightly, caressing every inch. He needed tender care and you were willing to give it.

“You’re mine now, Levi,” you told him, because it was true, “just like Meryl, we’re a family. No one will ever come between us.”

Karen said you didn’t understand the nuances of being a clan Queen, but that had only lasted for a day.

It didn’t matter that Levi’d killed your fiancé. You weren’t stupid. With a little bit of thought after your earlier conversation you’d put two and two together, but Karen had underestimated you and you’d underestimated Levi. None of that mattered now. This man…this vampire killed his own mother for you, for your daughter...to protect your family. No, you understood nuance very well.

You brushed Levi’s cheek, his eyes following you, looking for your approval, so you smiled.

“Let’s have a pretty wedding, my love, then the adoption party, okay?” you said, "would you like that?"

He tipped his head into your shoulder and breathed into your neck. You kissed his forehead, stroking his hair.

“Okay, (Y/N),” he said, putting his wet arms around you and pulling you close, “I’d like that.”

#monster x girl #monster boyfriend #monster lover #sfw monster fluff #monster oc #vampire x reader #angst #yandere fluff #male yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #vampire boyfriend #vampire #monster x reader

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koy0uu · 9 months

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“Off with their heads”

Summary: In which Executor Rosehearts thinks about the future Queen…

Ship: Executor!Riddle Rosehearts X [future] Queen of Hearts!Reader

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Warnings: Mentions of beheading, public executions and blood. Riddle is an executor in this after all! Also some yandere-ish behaviour from Riddle

Author’s Note: Hello my dear costumers~ I am sincerely sorry for having been gone for 4 months. Writer’s block and school had me GOOD, sadly. I’ve been to “Shanti” by wotaku ft KAITO and it actually inspired me to write this haha. I also have multiple drafts going on, let’s see if I manage to upload them and finish them any time soon. Aside from that, I will use this as an announcement for my art sideblog @sirins-void on which I actually upload. Until then, this must suffice.

SPECIAL THANKS TO: My one and only Queen @l0laaa-ita for supporting me and being such an inspiration! Ilysm 💕

Word Count: 438

It is a soldier’s duty to serve his Queen. Anything she wants, she shall get. That is a soldier’s duty. That is what Riddle Rosehearts swore his life to. To protect you and listen to your every beck and call; his Queen’s happiness above all. And yet, how come he was jealous of every single one of your suitors? None of them were worthy! That was why he felt such joy and relief when you dismissed every single one your parents brought in, right? He merely wanted the best for the future Queen of Hearts, is all. That was precisely why he was always around you. To fulfil his duty of course. Not because of ridiculous reasons like him wanting to be the suitor you chose - Trey and Cater really did have radiant fantasies, spewing atrocities on his precious Queen’s name by claiming that “she’ll never find a suitor if she keeps rejecting everyone.” You were merely a lady of high status, beauty and Grace - it’s only natural you’d want to find someone just like that for yourself.

You only deserve the best. Anything below that is merely an insult to your excellency. That was why he accepted becoming an executor anyways - sure, his position as a soldier was just as good, however getting to serve you so closely, and ridding all those worthless bastards of their life at your command was just what he wanted. Sometimes, even he had such ridiculous thoughts, that told him that only he was worthy of you. He’s already killed so much for you, he’s serving you every day, and he is the servant you’re the closest with. You laughed and cried in front of him - he’s seen all your sides, and Riddle’s accepted them all, growing indeed fond of them all. A beautiful Queen with a beautiful heart; someone who all the blood on his hands was the bare minimum. He’d do anything for you. As a soldier, as a friend, aspiring to be more than that… So, what difference would it make if there were two matching rings on your fingers?

Unlike those swines your parents sought for you to marry, he did not care about the throne at all, but merely about you as a person. Your beauty may have intrigued him at first, but in the end it was the beauty of your personality, your kindness, your forgiving smile, your slight guilt of him having to behead the judged criminals for your sake. Slowly but surely, Riddle had understood just how precious your pure soul was. And he had no intentions letting anybody taint it, no matter what.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed :D

All credits belong to @koy0uu on tumblr. Please do not steal my works! Reblogs are appreciated though :D

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #alternate universe #executor riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland riddle x reader #twst #twst riddle #twst riddle x reader #i think that’s all the tags

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theladyofshalott1989 · 26 days

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In honor of the first anniversary of Like Moths to a Flame on Wattpad, here's a smutty one-shot for y'all.

The idea was sparked by an episode of Fellow Travelers on Showtime. It’s a bit of a departure from my usual style, but it was an absolute joy to write. While it's set within the Like Moths to a Flame series, it can be read as a standalone. Enjoy! :)

Mood: “you should see me in a crown” by Billie Eilish

You can read it at the link above OR I have also posted it below (after the cut). Warning: It is explicit!

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On the second Tuesday of February in the fortuitous year of 1899, Sebastian Evans-Sallow returned home to a hell of a surprise.

Our esteemed protagonist froze in the middle of the entryway, his hand on the doorknob. Staring slack-jawed at his husband, he somehow managed to form the words: “What in Merlin’s name are you wearing?” His voice cracked very noticeably in the middle of his shocked inquiry, which was deeply unfortunate, but upon deeper reflection, was perfectly understandable. Sebastian hadn’t recalled his voice doing that since he was a pre-teen. He chuckled in spite of himself.

Damien shouted out in alarm, throwing himself clumsily through the nearest doorway. “You weren’t supposed to be home for another half an hour!” He punctuated his proclamation with an exasperated huff. It was, frankly, adorable.

“I wanted to get ready before the event,” Sebastian said, having recovered enough now to enter their humble abode. He shut the door quietly behind him and tiptoed through the hall.

“Well, you need to leave and come back in ten minutes! It was supposed to be a surprise!”

Sebastian scrambled to find a hiding place. Ah yes, one of the bookshelves should suffice. He pressed his torso against the side of the nearest one, finding an angle that would hopefully keep him out of Damien’s line of sight. It was just in time as mere moments later Damien popped his head around the corner of the doorway.

“Sebastian?” Damien called out.

Sebastian didn’t reply. He brought his fist to his mouth and bit down on his knuckle to hold back a laugh.

Damien gradually eased himself through the door. “Bash, did you leave?” Their orange tabby cat, Tabitha, slunk behind him. Wherever Damien went, the cat followed. She was clingy like that. To be fair, Damien also encouraged it.

Sebastian observed his two housemates, his beloved husband and his stubborn feline-child, with bated breath. Tabitha certainly knew he was in the house - the cat was annoyingly observant - but he hoped that she and he had an understanding. If Tabitha didn’t give Sebastian away, there would be treats. Lots and lots of treats.

“He left. Good,” Damien said to the cat, making an attempt to reach down and gingerly pat her head, but failing rather miserably. “Can’t have him ruining the surprise for himself.” He straightened back up. As to why he failed in his cat-patting endeavor? Well, one would if they were unaccustomed to wearing a corset. Which Damien was wearing right at this very moment.

What a time to be alive! What a glorious day to come home early! What a… Damien turned around and Sebastian got a good look at him, not just a side profile, for the first time. His breath hitched. His trousers suddenly became uncomfortably tight. Merlin’s arse, Damien was a bloody wonder. This man could do things to him. How did Sebastian ever win over this alarmingly beautiful man? His husband was absolute perfection.

Was Damien seriously considering wearing a corset, and presumably a dress, to Sirona’s Valentine’s Day ball? Or was this wondrous ensemble just for Sebastian? If it was just for him… they very well might not be attending the ball tonight after all. They wouldn’t have any energy left.

Well, Sebastian would just have to wait and find out. Although how much longer he could wait before he burst, he couldn’t say.

Damien made his way back into their bedroom. Sebastian heard rustling and a string of muted exclamations, although nothing worse than “Blast!" since Damien was a proper gentleman. When he was presumably finished, Damien floated back into the living room in a full dress, lace finish and everything, the full works. It was positively sensational.

Sebastian nearly lost it then and there. He stuffed his fist back into his mouth, this time biting down harder than he intended. And then, Damien spun in a circle. Scratch that, Sebastian was done for. He fell back on his arse with a loud thump. The noise brought Tabitha straight to him - damn cat! - alerting Damien to his hiding place.

“Bash!” Damien exclaimed, placing his hands on his narrower than usual waist. He pouted prettily.

From Sebastian’s vantage point on the floor, Damien looked so different, and yet so ravishing, that he struggled to compose his face. A part of him needed to laugh, quite badly, more from astonishment than ridiculousness, for Damien was too lovely in that baby blue dress to elicit anything but pure joy. The other part of him needed to ravage his husband immediately. That part of him, thankfully, took over entirely.

Sebastian scrambled up and threw himself at Damien. At his sudden movement, Tabitha yowled and bolted from the room. Damien let out a shocked gasp as Sebastian grabbed him by the waist and backed him up against the wall.

“Hello there, beautiful,” Sebastian said, his chestnut-brown eyes boring into Damien’s golden-brown ones. He bit his bottom lip as he analyzed Damien’s reaction.

Damien's eyes widened for the briefest of moments and his lips parted slightly, awaiting an expected snog. His pupils darkened in kind. Damien’s body, which was wedged against the wall, pressing against Sebastian’s, responded as Sebastian knew it would, but the many layers of his dress were stubbornly in the way. Sebastian released his hands from Damien’s waist and dropped down, lifting the dress, but finding it more difficult than he anticipated.

When he finally managed to tame the heavy layers, Sebastian eased back up and, breathing harder than he intended, asked, “Is this ensemble just for me or was it meant to be shared with the rest of the world?” His lips hovered over Damien’s lips, teasing him mercilessly.

Damien moaned before replying, “You, Bash. Only for you.”

Sebastian grinned wolfishly, leaned back in, and made contact with Damien’s perfect mouth. “Good answer,” he replied between kisses. “Top marks.”

They attacked each other greedily, hands exploring each others’ bodies as they were often wont to do. Even though they’d been together for what felt like ages now - Sebastian could barely remember a time when Damien wasn’t his constant, cherished shadow - Damien’s touch was still exciting, electrifying, truly invigorating. The dress was a nice touch though: different, captivating. But it was time for it to come off.

Sebastian abruptly stopped his focused ministrations. Where did one begin? The dress was practically a prison. There were far too many buttons and ties to be practical.

“How did you manage to get this damned contraption on?” he asked as his eyes scanned Damien’s unusually confined frame.

“Well, my dear,” Damien said, “there is this very handy thing called magic. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it.”

"That does ring a bell," Sebastian replied with a smirk, finally finding a series of buttons scattered across Damien's chest that hinted at a potential escape route. “I might have heard something about it in passing.” He began undoing the buttons, planting a kiss on Damien’s bare skin, a light patch of hair tickling Sebastian's nose.

“I think you have it sorted. Mostly.” Damien provided Sebastian assistance by untying some ribbons on his right side, revealing another slew of buttons that had been hidden under a plait of fabric.

“Ridiculous,” Sebastian mumbled under his breath. With the dress now loosened, he pulled it down past Damien’s hips, and the hefty garment cascaded around Damien’s feet. Damien promptly stepped out of it as Sebastian stripped off his own, far less constrictive, clothing.

Duty done, Sebastian clutched Damien by the shoulders and spun him around, shoving him firmly against the wall once more. Damien tensed very briefly, but quickly relaxed, melting under Sebastian’s grip.

The corset remained on. The hardness of it, the unique sensation of it against Sebastian’s chest, was a new, welcome experience. Sebastian traced his hands up and down the whalebone, stroking hard so Damien could feel the pressure of it, the pressure of Sebastian’s all-consuming desire for him.

Satisfied, Sebastian then nestled his head in the crook between Damien’s neck and shoulder. “Ready?” he whispered.

“Always.”

Sebastian dropped his hand to Damien’s bare arse and squeezed, eliciting a quiet chuckle from Damien’s lips. Sebastian brought his hand back up to his mouth, licked it generously, then brought it down to his cock. He lubricated himself quicker than usual, since he was already practically drowning in pre-cum. Once ready, he declared, “Brace yourself, love,” and entered Damien, thrusting immediately, just as Damien liked.

Damien groaned in appreciation, craning his neck to the side to lock eyes with Sebastian. Eye contact was key, even from this angle. Damien and Sebastian preferred to climax while observing the minute reactions on each others’ faces. Sebastian never ceased to enjoy the subtle wrinkling at the corners of Damien’s eyes, more pronounced now in adulthood, as the pleasure hit.

And with years of practice, Damien could now orgasm in this position, with Sebastian inside him, without even touching himself. Sebastian was still rather chuffed by that fact. The first time it happened, shortly after they were engaged, Sebastian had been so inspired that they spent the entire night in congress. They had been lucky it was the weekend, for in the morning they were so exhausted - having each orgasmed a handful of times - they slept the entire day away. It was one of the best nights of Sebastian’s life.

Sebastian was pulled out of his reverie by the familiar sensation of his cock hardening further inside Damien, building up in anticipation of release. Damien’s breaths came more hurriedly and Sebastian watched as the muscles in his jaw tightened. Damien was close; Sebastian was too.

“Come for me, my love,” Sebastian murmured into Damien’s ear. Damien didn’t hesitate. He came as commanded, moaning with pleasure, his body shuddering under Sebastian. Sebastian followed forthwith, his breath stolen away from him as he reveled in the explosive bursts, sending a shiver of ecstasy down his spine all the way down to his curled toes. Ah, bliss.

Once his wits were somewhat recovered, Sebastian released himself from Damien, then pecked him lightly on the side of his neck. Damien turned around slowly, almost lazily, a dazed expression on his face. Sebastian didn’t blame him. He had once asked Damien to describe what it was like to orgasm without ejaculating. Damien’s response had been astonishing.

“It’s more intense, completely incapacitating,” he had said, a wistful look in his eyes. “Time stops, your face blurs, everything around me turns into a swirl of colors. It’s… beautiful, like a work of art.”

Sebastian hoped that someday he’d be granted such a mind-altering experience, but until that day, he was more than satisfied. He had his health, a wonderful home, and a fulfilling job, but most importantly, he had Damien. Damien—his kindred spirit, the love of Sebastian’s life. Whether clad in a man's or a woman's attire, Damien had the power to bring Sebastian to his knees with pleasure. Figuratively speaking, of course. What more could he ask for?

#sebastian sallow x m!mc #sebastian sallow x male mc #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy oneshot #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x damien evans #sebastien #like moths to a flame series #smut with feelings #smut

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tiyoin · 1 year

Text

god au

“You’re causing quite a stir-up on Olympus,” a modulated voice said from behind you. You were growing tired of retreating into your murky waters every time a new being appeared. So foolishly, you stayed perched upon the muddy shores of your swampy marsh.

Though you adjusted the elongated lily pad to cover your face, to conceal yourself, at least for a moment longer.

“I do not know what you are talking about,” you answered quietly, so your voice wouldn’t drown out the sound of his footsteps.

You heard gods don’t have footsteps, that the earth herself, created from the titan's flesh and ran blue with their tears still rejected the gods a millennia after the great war.

Yet there were always gods who loved to ruffle her course green hair. Proving the rumor somewhat false as you could hear each squelching sound his feet made with each new step in the submerged grass.

He hummed thoughtfully. You tried catching him through the water's murky reflection. Though the tapping of your finger proved otherwise. With each gentle touch, the water rippled, turning his reflection into a shaky blurb.

“It’s strange that you don’t know, as nymphs such as yourself are prone to be gossip hounds.” He and his footsteps stopped. “It is rude not to face a god when he speaks to you."

You stayed still, eyes lingering on the still water.

You could hear him quirk his eyebrow “You dare defy a god?”

“You are not my god to serve”

“I am a god nonetheless.”

By now your palm laid flat upon the surface of the lake. The sunken trees that lined the banks seemed to lean ever so closer to you both. The reeds decorating the lake adjusted themselves to hear better.

The only thing stopping him from getting his way was the stubborn lily pad that seemed stuck to your head. Like it had been sown in by the fates themselves and nothing, not even Cerberus could rip off.

You wanted to laugh as you imagined the beast trying to yank the flower off. Those thoughts quickly stopped when your mind wandered to a darker, sinister outlook.

“Why do you wish to see my face” You pushed, wrist now submerged as you slightly turned your head, the light breeze catching on your hat.

You smiled as it flapped erratically. It seemed as if the fates liked you better than this god.

“Because I would like to remember who I am talking to"

"The hat will suffice"

With each banter the more the water seemed to swallow your hand, desperately trying to get you out of this situation.

"A name would also suffice"

You smiled at his sudden change in tone. It was soft, careful, cautious like he was scared he’d spook a doe into running away.

“No, you may not” all at once your limbs went jelly and your liquified body fell into the dirtied water of the marsh with a loud splash.

Through the rippling and vibrations, you could hear the anger in the god's voice as he was above the water. His eyes pierced right through you. The scowl as his face was twisted into an evil ogrish sneer.

“You will pay for disobeying a god nymph.”

next ->

master list

asks about god au are welcome!

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something-pithy · 5 months

Text

Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 years

Note

Hi I'm obsessed with these prompts. Can u do a drabble of Manny using prompt 17.

I can indeed!

Smut below the cut, minors DNI!

Dick picks. Unsolicited, and they are most definitely an unwelcome addition to your inbox. When the dick pic in question is being sent by your boyfriend, though, well... you are without issue.

'I miss you so damned much. As soon as I'm back, I'm gonna bury my mouth against that fine little pussy and lick it until you fucking scream, mamas.'

If you're going to be on board with any intentions, those will definitely suffice.

'Oh really? Tell me what else you're going to do?' Your reply is read, watching the dots as he types, excitedly awaiting his reply.

'It's real simple; Imma bend you over, spread those pretty legs nice and wide, and then slide every last inch of this right up in you. I can't wait to feel that hot, wet pussy gripping on me, baby.'

With the text, he sends a picture of his erection, long, hard, and perfect. It makes you feel a little wet, just looking at it on the screen, wishing he was home, so you could enjoy it, enjoy him.

'How badly do you want it?'

'You have no idea. I'm fucking raging for you. God! I wish you were here! Two more days, though, and I get you all to myself. I bet you wish you were here now, though. You could watch me touching myself while I fantasise about your perfect, big cock.'

You pout a little when you see he's read your message, but doesn't reply, lying there on the couch with your hand down your little shorts, rubbing the slick of your arousal as you imagine your fingers are his, closing your eyes and seeing him there above you.

Your mood is then shattered by a knock at the door.

"Damned Amazon man!" you mutter, throwing yourself up to your feet, wiping your fingers on a Kleenex before striding across your apartment. "Never turns up when I actually want him to!"

Clicking the locks, you slide the chain off and open the door, your eyes almost falling out.

"Surprise," Manny grins, laughing at your reaction.

"I thought you were the Amazon man!" you cry, flinging yourself into his arms.

"Nah, I'm not available on Prime, but my delivery service is top notch." He kisses you, walking you backwards into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. "Now, I require a signature for your package, ma'am." Taking your hand, he presses it to his crotch, the hard-on he's been dealing with since he got off his bike downstairs while texting you absolutely solid against your fingers.

"Mmm, just tell me where I sign." you giggle, Manny picking you up, carrying you over to the couch, removing your shorts after he's laid you down, and doing exactly what he said he would do.

You love it when he comes home early.

#manny mayans #manny mayans x female reader #manny mayans smut #manny mayans drabble #manny mayans imagine #manny mayans fanfiction #manny mayans mc #manny montana #manny montana smut #manny montana x female reader #manny montana imagine #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc drabble #ddd drabble requests

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supernovafeather · 1 year

Text

The Unwilling Monster

FO!Poe Dameron x FO!F!Reader

Content : war, canon violence, angst, mention of sex.

Synopsis : Reader starts to realize what it means to have joined the First Order.

It was impossible to describe that fear crawling up your skin in your bed. Far above your head, the transparent ceiling revealed the titan planet reigning over this side of the galaxy. Your fully opened eyes couldn't be enough to take on its monstrous mass dominating you as the spaceship kept on flying in the empty dark space swallowing it without any hurry.

Poe's warm skin against you didn't suffice anymore as you watched diverse sandstorms forming on the surface, each yellowish dot betraying a Hell wide of at least thousands miles. How many species were getting eradicated from the surface of their planet while you were supposed to rest peacefully by your General's side ?

It was thrilling when Poe moaned in his sleep as you sat up, your mouth open at the disaster ravaging what you though would be a paradise. The First order managed to manipulate the winds thanks to a new generation of weapon, and the storm soon started to take an unprecedented scale as the dots started to expend more and more. The darkest spot of your thumbs size could represent at least a hundred miles of sandy inferno.

You wanted to puke now, your hand pressed against your lips as tears started to run down your cheeks. How many voices could be heard once in this cursed atmosphere? Now you saw tiny gray and black dots flying towards this planet followed by massive shadows as Poe started to snore after his long day. He was the master of this operation after all.

A flash at the rocky surface made you narrow your eyes for a millisecond, long enough to witness a minuscule shadow leaving the planet before growing bigger and bigger. Your attention got caught by the massive warship heading towards its prey older by several billions of years, before coming back to the shadow now turning all over itself and growing as well.

That rock flew towards your ship in what appeared to be a lazy movement, but you had no doubt that it could be itself enough to vaporize an entire standard-sized planet by your standard. Its gray changed according to its rotation by the sunlight whipping through this dark space, and each spot of it that could annihilate any planet you knew tended to disappear timidly between two rotations.

"Poe please wake up." You whispered.

You witnessed the sterile mountain grazing your warship, making it thrill as long seconds were necessary to make it roll past you. You closed your eyes, your hands grabbing your sheets as your stomach struggled not to spill anything. That tiny rock was bigger than your home planet. You saw that faint light coming from the top, there was a rainforest up there and it got ripped away from its land.

This was when the alarm took its turn to terrorize you, Poe waking up immediately and already running around his room to put his clothes on. You, you were a coward hiding behind the sheets, your eyes peering up at him as he stopped, looking up through to window. His fingers stopped fighting with his black pants, freezing around his belt as he took a deep breath.

"They're getting eradicated." He whispered in marvel.

"... what ?"

Poe Dameron was known for hating that people. No matter how trained their army was, how advanced their ships were, how immense their planet had been, he had to vaporize them for good. He wanted them out of his existence.

He turned to you with a dreamy smile as you turned to another massive mountain floating off the milky-looking atmosphere.

"Finally they're paying for what they've done."

At first a few lasers started to strike their land, then got followed by dozens, then hundreds, then thousands of them joined the attack as metal started to pounce down towards this land you didn't know anything about.

"Poe... what is going on ?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." He laughed with a loving gaze turned towards space.

Shouldn't you be with your squadron by now instead of crying in your General's bed. What had felt like a comforting nest the nights where you felt some kind of loneliness now felt immensely upsetting. They did nothing to you and Poe certainly didn't care that much if he chose to share his night with you instead of watching that chaos unfolding.

"It's unbelievable I have to see it." He laughed maniacally.

Poe left you alone as you hid under the blanket, your whole body shaking as his ship started to struggle against the next giant rock messing with its gravity. You thought you could deal with the First Order madness as long as you played along with their rules, but now that you worn their uniforms and embodied their ideals, you were starting to doubt.

Why did you have to become a monster ?

- - -

@salome-c @stevenngrant @lavenderluna10 @one-hell-of-a-disappointment @dailyreverie @thecursivej @lady-targaryen @general-latino @harrys-tittie @laura-naruto-fan1998 @later-gators12 @geo-winchester

#poe dameron #first!order poe #oscar isaac #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe x you #poe x reader

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kiara-ish · 1 year

Text

The Guy on the Floor Downstairs

Part 1

Word count: 5k+

Genre: Slice of Life | Romance

Pairing: Idol Neighbour!Yoongi x Reader

Multi chapter: (1/?)

Warnings: angst, loneliness, fluff.

Summary: Life gets lonely for you even in the crowds of Seoul. Just when the silence of your shabby apartment building begins to get a bit more than overwhelming you discover the joy of being neighbours with someone you used to dream of.

Idea of the chapter: Dreams do come true as long as you remain grounded. The sky can be an easy place to get lost.

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Sasha Alex Sloan played like a low hum on my speakers, the sound floating to my ears with the wind breezing through my open balcony door. The dark room was illuminated by the soft blurry citylights. The dark void of the sky was glowing afar by the luminous aura of the tall skyscrapers in the distance that looked so untouchable, so far from me.

Dancing With Your Ghost ended and the soft hum changed to Welcome to Wonderland making a soft laugh bubble in my throat — of course, when love leaves you alone in this huge lonely world, you move to Wonderland. My minimalistic one bedroom apartment was shrouded in darkness like the void sky had invaded my living space and I lay on my small creaky bed with crumpled sheets like the victim of an apocalypse.

It was hard to deny that it wasn't really an apocalypse; end of the world for me and me only it seemed. Moving to Seoul was a dream come true for a wanderlust starved, self isolating, complicated individual like me. People in Seoul kept to themselves and were neither unwelcoming nor welcoming to outsiders. The teaching job with part time translating seemed promising and it truly was. Going above the jetlag and minimum language barrier that still persisted, settling in wasn't difficult. A tiny apartment that would be suffocating for two far from the city sufficed the residence with a little compromise from my sleep schedule.

Life was full of enthusiasm for the first month and video calling back home was a regular notification. I was so full of joy that I even smiled and bowed at the people I saw in the streets, not recognising the compulsion they felt to bow back at someone who looked like a complete lunatic desperately trying to fit in. Keeping extra focus on pronounciation on the first day at work, losing my way back home later and finally speaking to my three best friends for two hours straight, laughing at all the nostalgia we were hit by my moving to Seoul. What became my reality was a teenage fangirling dream for us who couldn't resist the glorious living of Seoul and k-pop idols.

What I should have recognised was that my social batteries haven't changed much through the years — the few hours that it was before was stretched to a few days. Unfortunately the recharging took equal parts of time and there I was, head hanging out of the bed to stare at the lights from the open balcony door, lying on the bed that begged to change sheets. But I was too lazy. The buzzing of the city in the distance reached my ears, reminding that weekend meant hanging out with friends and just living a good life without alarms for a day for some people and the fact that I was alone in darkness just staring at the skyline only made me lazier.

The songs had changed on my speakers and it was playing one that I wasn't familiar with. A gentle strum of guitar with a soft humming caressed my ears and my eyes fluttered close as the words began to flow with the melody from a rough voice that felt like it wasn't used to singing. The voice felt very familiar – so much that my heart fluttered and butterflies erupted in my stomach for the first time in what felt like ages. The unmistakable sensation of comfort serenaded the loud silence in my head and I was suddenly on my feet to check what was playing.

Light to my Darkness - AgustD

I was ready to cry my heart out when I saw that. Of course, it was him. The one who swayed my stony heart at sixteen, the one who made me cry when I realised he was like the stars in the sky to me at seventeen, the one who I looked up to at eighteen, nineteen and twenty and the one who began to slowly fade in my head at twenty one. Of course, it was him. It was funny that I once dreamed of being in Seoul because of him and when I finally arrived, he was the last thing on my mind. I knew BTS was still making music, more solos than together but they stayed like a notification on the cracked screen of my mobile until I swiped it away when the continuous work emails were annoying me.

The melody reached its chorus and my eyes stung in the corners but before tears could be shed, probably making me feel better, a loud bang made me flinch on my spot followed by a string of Korean curses that I happen to know by heart. I realised that it was coming in with the sounds of the city from the balcony. Leaving the melody softly playing again, I moved to my balcony.

Winter was slowly settling in and my baggy clothes let in too much of the cold air making my skin erupt in goosebumps. Another bang was heard and I realised it was coming from the balcony of the apartment directly downstairs. It was like the sound of a tough metal hitting on hollow wood. The loud sound made me flinch each time but the silence that followed gently coveted by the melody playing from my room soothed the harsh blow.

I wasn't aware of having a downstairs neighbour, which was not too strange since I only knew the man who lived opposite me. The loud band interrupted my train of thoughts each time it drifted away, slowly coaxing me into the rhythm of its harshness and the soothing balm of the gentle music playing. I listened to the sound for a moment more before making a split decision of running in to grab my blanket and coming back out again.

Laying flat on the cushiony couch that had exhausted the lasts of my savings, I pulled the blanket to my chin, finally closing my eyes. The harsh sounds had softened as if the person downstairs knew that someone above him was unexpectedly falling asleep to the sounds of him fixing his furniture. I, on the other hand, suddenly felt way too comfortable than I should sleeping in my balcony, knowing I would wake up tomorrow with a headache from the cold.

It was a strange sense of domesticity, hearing the small sighs in the silence as the night grew quieter with the heavy shuffling of things downstairs and that song by Agust D playing on loop even though I did not remember putting it on repeat. It felt like I was not alone — it felt like I was home again and I couldn't be more grateful.

The rice cakes were put in neatly in the box with a small greeting card attached on it. I wondered for a while if the rest of my neighbours would be salty that I was only meeting the neighbour downstairs. But I couldn't help the wish to meet them. When I woke up on the couch, I distinctly remember a soft humming breezing up to me from the downstairs balcony and my thinning out sleep fell deeper into the state of slumber. But the humming stayed with me, even in my dreams and when I woke up. It felt so familiar and beyond the tune it was the voice that sounded a little broken like it only sang in secrecy.

I did not bother dressing up in impressive clothes. The apartment was in the more humble side of the town than the rich ones, so as prejudiced as it might sound, I believed that they would not really be bothered about my lazy dressing. So without further contemplation, I picked up the rice cakes and made my way out with anxiety building up in my stomach like I was going for a life-changing interview.

When I rang the doorbell, the anxiety in me was ready to steam a dumpling but years of containing it, I knew to breathe slowly and deeply as I awaited my neighbour. There wasn't any remote hints of sounds or footsteps inside the apartment that would hint that my neighbour knew I awaited him at the door. Aware of the possibility that they weren't home, I was ready to place the small box of rice cakes beside his door with the greeting card but my overwhelming gut feeling made me want to ring the doorbell once more.

I have always been a follower of instincts and gut feeling so almost unknowingly I had already rang the bell again. What I did not expect at all was a heavy voice speaking gruffly against the door on the other side, "who is it?"

My palms were sweaty and I was prepared with a practiced monologue that would comprise of my introduction and my purpose of visit. Yet when the cue was set, I was left gaping like a fish because that voice was eerily familiar and it would be quite awkward to meet an old friend like this. Knowing that there was probably an eye set on me from the padlock cam, I cleared my throat and spoke to the best of my limits without a stutter, "Hi, I'm your upstairs neighbour. I've brought rice cakes."

There was a moment of silence and I was left more confused than awkward before his voice reached me again, "Thanks but I don't really consume gluten. It was nice to meet you."

"Wha-"

There was a sound of footsteps and I knew for sure that my neighbour had just rejected my introduction and walked away. All expectations that I had of him just blew out of the window and all that was left was disappointment and anger. Needless to say, I would not be ever trying to interact with him anymore and I was never more confident of my decision of labelling him as a bad neighbour.

Weekend passed in a flash and the new week dragged on. The only relief was my newfound loop of BTS songs – the old ones for nostalgia and the new ones for that taste of unfamiliarity that you get from someone you have grown apart with. Especially on my loop was Agust D. His voice brought back a tinge of those butterflies I used to get back then but more importantly, it refreshed my unfaltering respect for the man and his art. What I also came to know about him was that he was aloof for a few months for some 'healthy time alone' and he was camouflaged so well in the crowds that even the worst stalkers were unaware of where he was. It made me wonder if he was taking good care of himself alongside drowning himself in work and the possibility seemed faint.

I never saw my downstairs neighbour. It was like he did not even exist during the day but I knew he was home when I returned from work later in the evenings. There were different bits of music floating in occasionally, unfamiliar tunes that sometimes made my ears perk up and other times made my nose scrunch up, unintentionally. Work was keeping me busy and the social life that I was procrastinating was slowly catching up to me. So I too, began to come home later and later.

It was difficult to remain sober when everyone else was completely wasted but that was what office parties looked like and I knew it too. But I was quite a persistent person myself, so as I entered the apartment building completely sober but exhausted, the pride that I was beaming with was dimmed down. I stared at the stairs as if it would turn into an elevator taking me to my floor but when it didn't, I begrudgingly made my way up slowly.

By the time I was only one floor down, I was heaving more than normal so I stood quietly for a breather. But when my eyes fell on stairs in front of me, I almost stumbled all the way back down again.

There, sitting on the topmost stair was Min Yoongi, in a hoodie but the hood was down. I knew I wasn't drunk at all but I still had to grip the railing tight enough that it would hurt to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't. He was really there just sitting quietly not even looking at me as I heaved like a donkey after a long travel.

He was looking straight at the wall and his face looked flushed, it almost looked like he was sleeping with eyes open. So I gently climbed a step, trying not to alert him or scare him away. When he did not move, I climbed another and then watched his reaction.

"What do you think I am? The last Dodo?"

My third step froze mid air and I was on the verge of stumbling down again. Barely balancing myself, I stared at him like a drunk baboon. His voice was a little coarse as if he spoke out of the blue.

That's when it hit me. The coarse humming, the random tunes, the late night shuffling around and the complete social distancing of my downstairs neighbour – it was Min Yoongi! But how? Why was he living in the shabbiest apartment in the area? Why was he sitting on the stair?

"I know you live upstairs. Just go up, already."

"No."

"No?"

Min Yoongi's eyes were finally on me and I was internally hyperventilating. It felt like I was back to my sweet and dumb sixteens staring at him up close on my phone screen as if he was staring back at me. But only this time, he was actually staring at me and talking to me because I blurted out a complete random declination that did not even make sense to me.

"I- why are you here?"

"I live here," he motioned his head towards the door behind him, "if you are going to fangirl, then do it and leave. Take a picture or something and post somewhere-"

"What are you even talking about?"

Only then I took notice of his sleepy eyes and flushed face and I realised that he was drunk, very drunk.

"I'm telling you how to make a good scandal, in case you need a tutorial."

"You are wasted, aren't you?"

He started laughing at that, like a full blown grin that I used to swoon at but it felt different staring at him up close, as if it was a sarcastic laugh that somehow evolved from a coerced grimace.

"You can add that too then."

He was still talking about me posting about him and I couldn't help but wonder if someone actually had done that to him – leaving him scandalised during a clearly vulnerable moment.

So putting all the tumultuous tides in my stomach aside, I took another step up and told him as gently as I could, "Just go in. Take some rest, sleep."

He stopped laughing at that but the intensity of his stare almost made my knees week, reminding I was standing on a stair case and it was quite late into the night.

"Are you ARMY?"

"I used to be a very active ARMY. I haven't listened to much of your songs until very recently. I am almost catching up again though."

"Of course. Why would you still be an ARMY. Nobody is, these days."

I was left gaping like a confused fish while his face soured into a scowl.

"No no, you did not hear me. I am catching up. I am ARMY still and by the looks of it, I always will be."

"That's what you think," he suddenly stood up making me take a step down when I realised how close I had unintentionally been standing to him. Not that I did not want to, I just did not want him to feel that his space was being invaded. He, however, did not look fazed, "you will find another charming boyband and BTS will be forgotten like all other older artists."

I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at his insistence. He knew nothing about me and my choices yet he was generalising me.

"It is an obvious phenomena, the older generations take a step back so that new ones can come up but that does not mean that they cease to exist all of a sudden. Your true fans will always listen to you, as long as you make music and even if you don't, they'll play the same songs over and over again because that's just what being a fan truly means. So what if some people have left the fandom? Do the rest of us that stayed do not matter to you? Does our history not faze you at all?"

His eyes widened and then he started looking around to avoid my own accusing glare. His scowl was gone and instead there was a small pout forming on his lips as he quietly spoke, "It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

My voice was louder than his and in hindsight, I couldn't believe I was shouting at Min Yoongi but for me then, it was provoked anger. He was throwing jabs at me even if I had done nothing.

"You matter to me," I knew he was talking about ARMY as a whole but all anger just evaporated from my heart when he spoke in that cute pout, "you have made me what I am. How can I be ungrateful? I'm sorry, I just- I don't really-"

"It's fine," years of seeing him on screen and hearing and reading about him off screen, I knew he wasn't a talker about his feelings, "just go in and rest. I'll not reveal anything about you. I can sign an NDA if you want."

He nodded before moving towards his door, still not looking at me and I couldn't decide if I should be thankful because his stare made me nervous or if I should be disappointed because he was my bias after all.

Crossing his door, I kept my eyes forward towards the stairs even though my heart whined to get a glimpse of his apartment but I have always been a persistent person. It was only when I was on the first step of the stairs to my floor, his voice reached me.

"I've heard you listen to my songs."

Of course he has. I have always been loud about my bias and it spoke through my loops of Agust D songs that my speakers almost always played.

"Yeah," and I decided that it was okay to accept my inner fangirl for just a second, "you're my bias."

When I stared back at him from my place on the stairs, he was leaning on his closed door with a small grin on his face and I somehow knew that it was real. He really was grinning at me with the cutest flush on his face wearing the comfiest looking hoodie and I realised why I never fell in love. I was already neck deep in love with him and to save myself the suffocation of completely drowning, I bowed quickly and sprinted up the stairs with my heart thudding in my chest as if it wanted to leave my body and go to him. I couldn't really blame my heart.

I did not sleep the entire night as the surrealism of the situation hit me. Min Yoongi was living just downstairs from me in this shabby apartment building and I just saw him and I talked to him and I-

Okay, breathe.

It felt like I was back at sixteen when there would be silly videos of him making that intense eye contact with the camera and I would be blushing mess, lying on my bed with uncountable pimples on my face.

Somewhere during the course of the night, I must have fallen asleep because when my eyes fluttered open, sunlight was lighting up my room. It was the weekend and I had the day off but I couldn't bring myself to sleep some more. There was no exhaustion in me, only excitement and a thrill that I knew I had to keep to myself.

When I was done making my morning cup of coffee, I decided to stand in my balcony for some fresh morning air for the first time since I began staying here. It was quiet and the rush of the city was fainter than night. Birds chirped around like the background theme to a fairytale and the occasional sounds of cars passing by or people walking by was the only perceivable ones.

Knowing the air quality was far from being healthy, I still took a deep breathe of the air simultaneously hearing a loud bang from downstairs, followed by a familiar string of Korean curses. My attention was square and centre on my neighbour downstairs again as I stood in complete silence to hear even the smallest sounds from downstairs. In hindsight, my behaviour was peak creepy but I couldn't help it.

Aside from the loud beating of my heart, I heard heavy footsteps shuffling just below me and I knew he was at the balcony. From afar I probably looked like a weirdo standing silently like a statue on my balcony but I was so thankful that I did that because I heard an unmistakable, "Are you there?"

I knew there was a hundred percent chance he was speaking on his phone but chanceless me had to be petty so I hit the leg of my couch as loud as I could to alert him that I was standing right above him too.

A moment or two passed in silence and I began to realise how stupid I was being but before I could go back in to hide with my embarassment, I heard again, this time louder, "Hey neighbour, you up there?"

I was at the very edge of my balcony in a breathe but I knew I had to contain my inner fangirl with him. So I spoke in a calm and collected voice, "why are you talking from your balcony?"

When I try to contain my hyper excited feelings, I always end up being rude and the silence that passed felt way too heavy and I almost teared up when his voice reached me again, "You are answering from your balcony too, aren't you?"

I would have jumped of joy had I not been in my balcony knowing he could hear me easily.

"That's true. What's up?"

I bit my tongue at my own words. I was talking to Min Yoongi. I could have kept my casual self aside. But then I heard him chuckle quite loudly, "Do you have coffee?"

"Yes," my answer was out in a heartbeat.

"Can you bring me some, please?"

"Why don't you come up?"

"I can't."

"Why?"

There was silence after that and I was disappointed that he would just dismiss the idea of taking coffee from me but I heard his gruffly voice saying, "I just can't. Come down."

A thought suddenly hit me and it was out of my mouth even before I could think it through, "You shouldn't come out to your balcony. What if people recognise you?"

"You're not very smart, are you?"

I clearly wasn't because it took me some more time to realise what he was talking about. There was the back of a house, that reached till his floor to his balcony, without windows facing the balcony. Obviously no one could see him from ahead.

Keeping my embarassment to myself, without further adieu, I heated up the coffee left in the machine and poured it on my biggest cup before making my way downstairs. When I reached his floor with shaky hands and a nervous face, I realised why he couldn't come up. The door to his floor neighbour's apartment was wide open and some kind of house party was going on and loud BTS music was playing. There could be possible fans who might recognise him so I stealthily crept to his door and before I could knock, he opened his door.

He was still in the same hoodie except his hair was ruffled even more. Before I could stare at him more like a fool, we heard footsteps and loud voices coming up the stairs and beyond my instincts, a warm hand had gripped my arm and I was pulled inside.

I was so thankful that my body was not betraying me by clinging to his touch but I wasn't sure if my face was on the same page. My cheeks were warming up and I knew I was blushing. So to distract his attention, if it falls on my face I handed him the coffee.

"Thank you, neighbour. What's your name, by the way?"

He just asked my name and went inside like I wasn't completely on the verge of subliming away. I told him my name with a shaky voice looking at him kicking away a blanket from the floor. That's when I noticed the insides of his apartment. The floor plan of his place was identical to mine but his entire apartment was a mess. There were dishes piled up on the table with random wrappers and bowls of instant ramen scattered almost everywhere. There were bottles of alcohol in every corner, glasses empty and some even filled just lying around.

I did not know what came over me as I saw him trying to push everything out of sight when I actually shouted at him, "Is this how you've been living?"

He flinched and stared at me with wide eyes, like a kid caught in the act.

"No, I-"

"Oh, so you've been living worse?"

He looked guilty as charged as he stared at his place like he was seeing the mess for the first time too. I couldn't believe a global celebrity was living in a dilapidated apartment building that too like his place was invaded by sewer rats.

"Why are you always shouting at me?"

His voice was quiet as he complained picking up the empty ramen cups and I would have laughed had I not been so angry. Unknowingly, I began picking up wrappers too while grumbling about the mess while he stood there staring wide eyed and open mouthed at me.

When my hands were full I searched for the trash bin only to find it full to the brim.

"Did you not even take out the trash, Min Yoongi?"

"I did, I swear, it's just-"

"Save it. Where are your trash bags?"

He was beside me in a moment, fumbling around the kitchen drawers before taking out unused trash bags handing them to me, watching me stuff the trash in it.

"You don't have to. I'll just-"

Realisation punched me in my stomach. I was in Min Yoongi's apartment for real, not in one of my dreams and I was completely invading his space, albeit cleaning his mess.

"I'm sorry," I placed the trash bag aside before bowing to him, "I was just a bit provoked at the mess. I always thought I have OCD because it really bothers me to- I just, I mean, I'm sorry I did not even think I was invading your space randomly out of nowhere, I'll leave-"

"Hey, hey. It's okay."

It was a warm hand on my shoulder that stopped me from hyperventilating and completely losing it. He was standing close to me, smiling with unmistakable adoration in his eyes.

"I don't mind. In fact, if anything you showed me that I was living like a sloth. I really need to clean up and I would really appreciate your help too."

By the time his space was neat and tidy, my cheeks ached at how much I had laughed just seeing him goof around. It felt like I was watching one of those Run BTS episodes live. I slowly got over my star struck episode and started feeling comfortable with him. I knew it was partly because he wasn't a stranger to me, heck he was far from it. But I was a stranger to him so I was glad that he was not making me feel like one.

"Coffee?"

"It must have gone cold long now."

"I'll heat it up, you've brought a lot."

"Then yes please."

I leaned on the counter beside him as he heated up the beverage after assuring me that he did not need help in heating up coffee with a smile that clearly said that even the thought of it seemed ridiculous to him.

My eyes stayed on him even if I wanted to leave him be and it seemed that he was aware of that because his ears were red and he avoided my eyes. It felt strangely domestic to watch him move around the tiny kitchen looking for a second cup to pour the coffee.

"Aren't you curious?"

His question caught me off guard. But I knew what he was talking about.

"It would be a lie to say that I am not. But I'm sure if you wanted the world to know, you wouldn't be just keeping to yourself."

"But it's not the world," he handed me the coffee cup but not moving from his position in front of me. His eyes bore into mine and I pushed myself more and more into the counter as if it could swallow me whole and save me from those eyes that burned my skin, "it's just you. Don't you want to know?"

The temperature felt warmer than ever and my palms were sweaty again. The steam from the coffee was the only barrier that hid my face from him.

"Do you want to tell me?"

He slightly tilted his head at me, a small smile on his lips as he stared at me, eyes searching for mine but like hell would I meet his eyes. I would evaporate on the spot.

"I would tell you anything if you ask."

I could swear that my heart wasn't beating and my head felt faint, vision blurry. How could he even say that to me so nonchalantly? My brain wasn't working straight but apparently my mouth was because it acted independently.

"Is that right? Then how about your bank details?"

"Try asking."

His reply was instant and now the blood was rushing to my head so fast that I felt like a puddle of warmth.

"I am curious. But not about why you are here. I am curious to know if the members and your company knows that you are here."

He smiled so fondly at me that I almost fell on my knees. This was the man I loved since I was sixteen and he was smiling at me like he adored me. I could die in peace with just that.

"They don't. All they received was a letter and a 'leave me alone' card. The members too, or they would have been already knocking on my door."

I couldn't help but laugh at that and he chuckled too except his chuckle made my knees weak.

"Wouldn't they be worried?"

"They would," his smile dimmed down a little, "years gone and they have remained closer to me than my own family. They would definitely be worried."

Watching his eyes dim down the spark in them, I quickly tried to make it better, "well then, you have to take good care of yourself. For them, if not for yourself."

"Of course. I must. But I'm not too worried," he took another step closer and my breath hitched, "I have you now."

The guy from the floor downstairs would be the death of me.

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maribyrne · 3 months

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closed starter for @irismitchells location: the sunrise diner

if someone had asked marianne at age eighteen if she ever thought she'd be back in willow's edge, waitressing at the sunrise diner for slightly above minimum wage, she would have laughed in their face. or at least scowled in their general direction.

and yet.

life rarely went the way one would hope, and at twenty-six years old she was offering practiced smiles and inquiring about fry versus onion ring preferences, drafting resignation letters in her mind any time someone complained to her about their order being wrong (it never was).

that day was just like any other since she'd started her forty hours a week, the customers mostly paying her no attention except for when they needed a refill of coffee or water.

until her worst enemy walked in and sat in her section.

was it appropriate to write your resignation letter on the order pad? would an email suffice? because she was willing to do what she had to do to pay the bills, but mari had every intention of doing so with her dignity intact. and if she ever had to speak to the man giving her an annoying little wave again, she was pretty sure she'd do something that would result in an immediate firing.

"last time he was here he waved a five dollar bill at me, hinting that it would be my tip the whole two hours he sat in a booth, and then he left me nothing because i didn't smile enough," mari confided in the waitress nearest her then, only realizing that it was iris after she'd already spoken up.

her voice only faltered for a moment, however. marianne had decided to take the act like she's a stranger approach to working with iris months ago, and it had worked in their favor thus far. their shared history occasionally made things awkward and mari kept finding herself almost letting apology after apology spill from her lips, but it was by no means a hostile work environment.

except at that very moment. due to the truly venomous vibes she was sending towards mr. smile more.

"if i give you the five that he neglected to give me, will you take his table?" she finally asked, her words interrupted only by the man calling out "waitress!" in order to get her attention.

"did i say five? i meant ten. ten dollars."

#* iris #why is this as long as it is? i simply could not tell you

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a-guy-or-something · 2 years

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Thor: Love and Thunder

So I watched Thor: Love and Thunder yesterday. It was pretty damn good! And I wanted to share some of my thoughts on it.

Aesthetic:

I always expected this movie to be good. But it actually wound up even better than I thought! For one, they’ve totally embraced the mentality of the fantasy inspired rock & roll sort of aesthetic.

There’s tons of great creative imagery that isn’t afraid to look straight up silly. The Rainbow Bridge is now an actual Rainbow Bridge. They sail through space on a Viking Longboat. The monster designs are creative and nightmarish. Everything just LOOKS great. These are some of the best setpieces Marvel has ever made.

Comedy:

Going hand in hand with the more outrageous visuals, there’s a LOT of comedy in this movie. A lot of the times it feels like a straight up parody instead of an actual, bonified Marvel film.

There were a lot of moments that made me laugh out loud. But the comedy isn’t perfect. There were some jokes that were cringe-worthy, and others that kind of outstayed their welcome. Overall, if this movie was just great aesthetics/fights, and above average comedy, it would probably still be a pretty, but shallow, movie. However...

Story:

Aesthetic and comedy aside, the movie also has some really great story threads. Both the stories of Gorr, and Jane Foster, are fantastic, and come to satisfying, meaningful ends. Sadly, I can’t really go into detail regarding them without going into spoiler heavy territory. But suffice to say that both of them deserve an entire essay in their own right. Which I may do, once the movie is available for streaming on Disney + and I can rewatch to my hearts content.

For Thor himself, most of his character development and focus in this story is how he’s coping with the many, many, many losses he’s endured over the course of the Marvel films. In almost every one, he either fails something important, or loses someone or something close to him. We find him bumming around the universe, using adventures, outlandish humor, and fighting to hide from his trauma. Right up until he needs to go back home due to Gorr causing problems, and is forced to face two of the only things left in the universe that he still cares about deeply. Jane Foster, and Mjolnr.

Overview:

Thor: Love and Thunder is very good. However, I have one issue with it that keeps it from being great. The movie feels very disjointed. If the story was mediocre with good comedy and great visuals, I would probably say it was still pretty great. But the story IS good. Really, really, REALLY good. And it deserved to have more room to breathe.

Marvel’s issue with undermining genuinely emotional or dramatic moments with comedy is emphasized here more than I’ve seen in any other Marvel film to date. If this was a bad, or meh story, I would be fine with that. But these characters and plot points had more than enough going on to carry some weight in this movie. But the writers didn’t seem very confident that people would be genuinely invested in a Viking Space Adventure. Which... Sucks.

I wanted comedy, I felt like Thor: Ragnarok, handled comedy very well. It still had the classic Marvel issues, but it still felt balanced enough to work for me. Love and Thunder however, has a TON of tonal dissonance. It has this fantastic story, and great comedy, but they’re not working together at all. It’s really sad that there’s so much good stuff here that just doesn’t come together properly.

All that being said, I do think it’s a good movie. Just not great. I would absolutely recommend seeing it in theaters and enjoying yourself! But try to keep an open mind.

#Thor #Marvel #thor love and thunder #Jane Foster #Gorr #gorr the god butcher #Thor Odinson #A review I guess

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knybits · 3 months

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A Murder of One

Chapter:

Summary:

Akiko kills her parents. Tanjirou upholds his vow

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As the author of this story, I would just like to say: this is a terrible idea.

Tanjirou’s knees are weak and he’s trying to control his breathing, but Akiko is two seconds away from forcing him onto the ground and elevating his legs to treat for shock.

“Your parents are going to kill me,” Tanjirou wheezes out, arms wrapped around his bandaged chest in fear that his hammering heart will break his rib cage.

Akiko rests a hand on his back, free from having to carry his sister around. He follows her instructions to take in deep breaths, but she still finds it odd that his body is well above normal body temperature.

“Are you running a fever still?”

“If I say ‘yes’ can we go home?”

“No. But I will ask my father to help lower your body temperature.”

“Not if your mom tries to exorcise me first,” Tanjirou sighs under his breath, but Akiko pretends not to hear as she walks up the steps of the house, dragging Tanjirou despite the fact that he’s digging his feet into the cobble steps.

She quickly raps her fist against the wooden door, using her other hand to keep Tanjirou in place. She’s glad that he still isn’t at full health yet, or he would have tossed her into the Model-T with no problem.

“Hello?” The head maid answers, opening the door before her eyes brighten upon seeing the young mistress.

“Oh! Welcome home,” she bows, head lowered with her hands neatly folded in front of her plain kimono.

“Are you here to surprise your parents with a visit?”

Akiko smiles brightly, as if she’s an innocent lamb, before tugging Tanjirou out from behind her.

“Kinda!”

Akiko makes it a note to give the poor maid a raise the minute she faints.

Tanjirou can smell antiseptic and metal from inside the house, and a whiff of silk, hemp, satin and linen right behind that scent. He stiffens at the familiar smells, but Akiko’s grip feels like a death vice.

“What’s all this noise?” Ray questions, then begins to rush down the stairs at the sight of his fallen maid.

“Hiratsuka, my bag!”

Akiko decides to peek through the entrance, a smile on her face as she waves to her parents and calls out, “No need! Just elevate her legs and grab a blanket! She’s just in shock.”

Hiratsuka blinks in surprise at her daughter’s sudden appearance and Ray raises a suspicious brow.

“Last you left you were a complete mess, and that was half a month ago. Just what are you playing at young lady,” Ray chastises, but orders another maid to fetch a blanket and some pillows.

Blonde hair and green eyes, a new maid trying to make a living in Taisho Japan.

Perfect.

“Actually, three blankets should suffice.”

“Are you trying to bury Mika?”

“Oh, they’re not all for her,” Akiko swings the door open and Tanjirou pales upon seeing his in-laws.

“Ta da! Kamado Tanjirou lives- Damn it I didn’t get to finish my grand reveal. C’mon let’s drag their bodies onto the couch. Blankets and pillows should be in the closet down the hall three doors to the left.”

Tamura Akiko has no respect for her elders.

---

Despite being assumed dead for over four years, the couple remains overjoyed that their son-in-law is very much alive and kicking.

Though it did take a thorough medical examination from Ray for the two to believe that Tanjirou isn’t just some ghost bound to Akiko.

And while the scar runs deeper and his hands are worn to the bone, Tanjirou still has the same smile and the same glow within his eyes as he did when he was a child. Ray is beyond shocked with Tanjirou’s strength, even though he has barely recovered most of it.

All the while, Hiratsuka is chewing Akiko’s ear off and forcing her to do some housework as punishment for nearly killing her parents and inheriting the family hospital. The maids are allowed the rest of the day off as an apology for Akiko’s shocking antics, though a few laugh off the incident and comment on how Akiko’s face seems to glow.

Akiko’s already broken a plate, and her mother is in the midst of tying her tasuki to help her daughter with the day’s laundry.

“Unbelievable,” Hiratsuka mumbles under her breath, hanging some blankets and a kimono while Akiko drenches herself in soapy water, not used to using a washboard.

“The warai-hannya is going to kidnap you and eat you, you know?”

“I’m not a kid anymore… And I said I was sorry,” Akiko grumbles back, grimacing at the sight of her pruney fingers. Hiratsuka whips her head to her daughter, fire raging in her eyes at the sight of the brainless good for nothing little doctor she has on her hands.

“You didn’t say it with heart! And why aren’t you washing the bed sheets in alphabetical order?!”

“What does that MEAN?!”

Upon hearing her father’s booming laugh, Akiko looks to the backyard’s entrance to see both her father and a tired looking Tanjirou.

“Good news! Your fiance isn’t a yuurei-”

“Pray to the gods he’s not a yokai either. Next thing you know he’s a tsuchigumo or a moryo!”

Akiko laughs at the confused look on her father’s face. Ray can never quite remember all the Japanese folklore, which is fine since English folklore goes over Hiratsuka’s head too. But the look of fear on Tanjirou’s face is even better.

“Don’t worry,” Akiko moves to his side, taking his hand into her own. “I know you won’t spill out thousands of small spiders or eat my dead body.”

“Akiko I still can’t process spiders,” he mock cries and Akiko laughs joyfully, cupping his face into her hands.

Ray and Hiratsuka look at the two with warmth overflowing their hearts.

It’s been so long since Akiko has smiled in this way, and they know that Akiko brought Tanjirou to show them that she’s okay. Their worry can’t get past her eyes and in this way the two know that Akiko will be just fine.

Akiko truly is her happiest with her fiance, her best friend.

She’s breathing and she’s eating. She’s living, truly living.

Akiko’s in love.

Just like how Ray and Hiratsuka were in love 18 years ago, and how Tanjuro and Kie were in love 18 years ago.

---

Again, as the author, I would just like to say: this is still a terrible idea.

“She’s going to have my head…”

Akiko glares at the door of the Tamura manor, drilling holes into the estate with a deep seeded hate. Hiratsuka and Ray have decided to accompany the two, just to make sure that Akiko doesn’t wring her grandmother’s neck.

The one that really flipped the boat on three years of Akiko’s life.

“I’ll have her head first,” Akiko spits out before pounding her fist against the wooden gates.

Once the gatekeeper opens the gates, she pushes past and forces her way in. Tanjirou begs her to stop her yelling, but Akiko continues to march towards the front entrance, screaming for an audience with her grandmother.

Hiratsuka has her face buried into her hands, dreading the worst out of this intervention. Ray doesn’t even know what to do, considering the fact that he really has no power within the Tamura manor. They watch as Akiko stops herself from decking Kakera in the face, instead kicking her geta off and stepping up onto the wooden floor.

The three stumble after her and Kakera sighs to himself, walking off to the kitchen to brew some tea.

“Grandma!! I request an audience with you!!” At the end of the hall, Akiko spots traces of her grandmother behind doors. She slams the shoji open, but Higuchi doesn’t seem bothered by Akiko’s appearance.

“Took you long enough,” Higuchi says calmly, and that only seems to rile Akiko up.

She feels a gentle hand take her sleeve, and when she turns her face to look at Tanjirou she can see that he’s pleading for her to calm down.

“Remember, if we do this, we have to do it right.”

Higuchi cracks an eye open to glance at Tanjirou, but even then she doesn’t seem surprised or mad.

“Hm, I was wondering why you stopped sending letters. Condolences for your family, boy.”

Tanjirou turns to Higuchi, slipping his fingers in between Akiko’s to stop her trembling fists. Then he bows his head, thanking her for her kind words before requesting her audience.

Higuchi waves her hand for the two to sit and Kakera slips into the room as well. Hiratsuka and Ray are seated right behind Akiko and Tanjirou, quickly bidding Higuchi a ‘hello.’

The smell of jasmine tea wafts through the air and Higuchi continues to drink her tea without a real care in the world. Akiko doesn’t dare touch her cup even when Tanjirou gives her a look to at least take a sip out of courtesy.

“Well? You have your audience with me now, do you not?”

Akiko resists the urge to roll her eyes. Fours years later and she’s grown out of her grandmother’s bullshit.

“Alright, fine, I suppose I’ll start. I burned all your letters, but you’ve surely figured that out already if you finally decided to see me together.”

“Why?” Tanjirou is the first to ask, which surprises Akiko. She glances at him, surprised to see how calmly he’s handling the situation. Akiko bites the inside of her cheek in embarrassment, hands tightly folded in her lap as she tries to reel her emotions in.

By letting Higuchi know that she’s mad is in itself allowing Higuchi to win, and that’s the last thing that Akiko wants.

She’s here to prove herself. Prove that Tanjirou is more than just a dime a dozen fiance.

He’s more than her fiance. Akiko can’t really find the words to describe him, since they’ve gone through so much together.

A bit too much, in her opinion, but she’s taking everything that has to do with Tanjirou and she back.

And she’s starting with Higuchi.

Higuchi scoffs at Tanjirou’s question, “You both know why.”

“And I thank you for the three years you’ve granted me,” Akiko speaks up. All eyes turn to her with surprise, thinking those words to be the last thing to leave her lips.

“Grandmother, I’m a doctor now, if you weren’t already aware. I was nearly driven insane without Tanjirou but I overcame all the trauma that you threw at me. I overcame the dead bodies sent my way and all the bodies barely grasping at the hems of life. I overcame all that and became my own person. And for that, I thank you.”

Higuchi smirks into her cup, “Finally you start to talk sense.”

“However, you’ve allowed me to confirm my thoughts on forsaking the Tamura name.”

Now that catches Higuchi’s attention, and she chokes on her tea.

“I built and am still building my career on my own name. Tanjirou and I have our own problems elsewhere, and whatever familial discord that remains between the Tamuras will be thrown away by me.”

Akiko knows that the plan was always to have Tanjirou adopt the Tamura surname when they were to be wed at 16. But with the headache of slaying a whole demon race and saving humankind on the forefront of their minds, plans were skewed.

And they’re both back to right it.

Tanjirou meets Higuchi’s eyes, head held high with pride and determination. He no longer cowers from her gaze like he did as a child. Not with Akiko by his side, the two finding this conversation to be child’s play in comparison to sewing skin together or beheading a demon.

Then, Tanjirou places his hands in front of him, lowering his head to the floor in deep respect.

“I apologize for my rudeness, but I say this as a promise rather than a request. In four months time, when Akiko turns 18, I plan to marry her like we were supposed to at the age of 16.”

uhhh hi LOL

finally came back to finish this. it's done, so im just going to post all the chapters now. i'll work on the formatting later, im just so happy i came back and finished this story. it's been on my mind for forever and i finally get to share the ending with you all. thank you for waiting!

#kimetsu no yaiba #kny #demon slayer #bittle's murder of one #kamado tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #tanjiro #tanjirou

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ljxlj48 · 2 years

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My Duty As Princess

Chapter 04

Lee Jeno x fem reader

masterlist

in collaboration with @urlocaltrash28

preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue

Genre: arranged marriage au! royalty au!

Warnings: none (?)

Word Count: 6.9K

Authors Note: This was suppose to come out like last week Saturday, but I was so focused on finishing my history paper that I didn't post. I'm sorry guys but I hope you can enjoy it now. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333

OH YEAH NEW SCENE HERE GUYS

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Dinner was over and Jeno just left you at your chamber doors. “Chan, a word?” You looked to your guard and walked through your doors, him following ensuite.

“Yes, my princess?” He shut the door behind him.

“Chan, it’s me,” you pleaded.

“(Y/n), what’s wrong?” He took a step closer to you, taking your face in his hand.

“You’re not angry with me?” You paused, not finding the right words.

“My princess, are you trying to ask me if I’m okay with you and the prince?” Chan laughed a little, looking at you, pulling his hand away.

“Chan, I’m being serious.” He put his hand up, stopping you.

“(Y/n), I will always love you, but it’s time I step back and let you go,” Chan offered a sad smile, taking a step away from you. You wanted to reach out and pull him close, but your arms wouldn’t move, you felt the tears welling in your eyes.

“Always?” you questioned, wanting him to stay a little longer, “you’ll always love me, even if I love someone else?”

“I will always love you, my princess,” he smiled walking out the door, leaving you to your thoughts. You could feel the tears fall down your face, but you couldn’t even understand why you were crying. You had an amazing day with Jeno; it finally felt like this union was more than a business contract, but you were selfish. You wanted more, you wanted a romance-filled marriage with Jeno, a kingdom to serve, but you also wanted a relationship with Chan, just like back at home. You wanted it all: everything and everyone.

Three weeks away from the wedding, everything was finally in order. There were no more meetings with vendors or talking about options you had. The planning was done. There were a few last things to manage, but it was just the finalization of details. Chan and Hyunjin finally stopped following you everywhere in the palace, but they did remain close most of the time.

It was weird to wake up to Mei and Fei delivering you news. Most days, they were cleaning around your chambers as you lolled about in bed after turning off your alarm. This time, though, Mei turned off the alarm shortly after it rang. You furrowed your brows gently, rubbing your eyes as you adapted to the golden sun streaming in through the sheer curtains. “Hello?”

The girls giggled at your response. “Good morning, princess,” Fei greets, adjusting the skirts of her dress.

“G’morning?” It comes out more as a question than a statement or greeting.

“You’re really dragging today,” Mei hums. “Prince Jeno is waiting for you.”

“What? Why?” You sat up, stretching your arms above your head.

“He did not inform us of the details but told us that you don’t need to worry about dressing nicely or anything. A simple dress will suffice.”

You hum thoughtfully, getting up to use the bathroom and freshen up. You were confused as to what he was planning. It couldn’t have been anything with Lords, Ladies, and their families, because professionalism and grace were essential. You brush through your hair, tipping your head to the side as you examine your appearance. It almost felt weird to look at yourself this long. Fei and Mei usually tended to your appearance, and you trusted that they would always do their best to enhance it. Mei entered your bathroom, holding up your hair as Fei clicked your necklace on, the silver crown charm glittering in the lights of the vanity mirror. Mei gave you a simple blue dress with a nice square neckline, showing off your collarbones covered in soft, silky skin.

“You look stunning, princess,” Fei smiles. “Now go,” she all but shoves you out of the room, seeing Jeno as soon as you’re out of the door.

“Hey!” You were trying to scold the woman, but you basically said it to Jeno, since you were looking up at him with wide eyes. You weren’t expecting him to be right there.

“Hey!” He said back to you, just as intensely as you accidentally did. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes, clearly knowing that you didn’t mean to say it to him.

You bow deeply to him to hide the blush on your cheeks, not thinking about how, when you bowed, he would probably be able to see down your dress. However, Jeno most definitely noticed it. He knew it was wrong to look at your chest, but it was an involuntary reaction, especially considering how rarely you showed that area of skin.

“Good morning, princess.”

“Good morning, prince Jeno,” you smiled. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“You said you wanted to learn how to play the guitar,” he says as if it’s obvious.

“Yes? But I didn’t assume that you would be wanting to any time soon,” you explained. “With the wedding coming up, there are a lot of things to be thinking about and doing.”

“As you know, most of the preparations are in place. We have time for leisure. So, are you ready?”

“I suppose,” you chuckle and follow his lead.

He led you to a small room with large windows which overlooked the blooming garden. It was nearly empty, just a couple of couches and chairs around the room.

“What even is this room?” You ask curiously. You had never been in a room like this.

He chuckles at your question and waves for his servants to come in. They give him an acoustic guitar and a music stand with some sheet music resting on it. “It’s a flex room. It’s just here for when we need it. Otherwise, it’s usually used as a place for the servants to relax,” he explains.

You hum and nod to acknowledge his explanation and get seated on one of the couches. “It’s nice and cozy.”

He smiles and sits next to you, readjusting the music stand and getting his guitar situated in his lap. He thanks the servants and lets them know that they are allowed to leave. “Are you excited to learn?” He grins, strumming casually to make sure the instrument was tuned correctly.

You nod shyly, surprised by how talented he was with it; it looked effortless for him.

“Well, let’s start, then,” he grins and puts the guitar in your lap, taking your hands in his to start you out correctly. You feel small and cared for. His touch was gentle.

“So put your hand here… and here,” his voice was deep but soft, chin nearly resting on your shoulder. “Hold this string down and pluck this one.” You did as he said, and it didn’t sound too bad but was not nearly as good as when he had been playing the instrument. He chuckles softly, the small puff of air causing your skin to prickle. He thought it was really cute to see your fingers fumbling on the strings. Jeno looked even more handsome in the golden sun of the morning. He taught you a few more chords, the small smile on his face never dissipating.

After some time, you were able to put a few different sounds together that sounded decent.

“That sounds good!” He cheers you on. “Are you ready to put them in the proper order?”

You pout at his teasing and look away, back down at the instrument in your arms.

He giggles at your facial expression. “Oh, come on. Don’t be a baby. You can do it. You just have to change the order of them.”

“Fine,” you whine. “What order should I put them in?” He says an assortment of letters and you huff. “I can’t remember which is which by their letters.”

“You just had it,” he gently pinches your arm. “We’ll go slow,” he assures.

“Okayyyyy.” You followed his instructions, eventually getting a tune down. “It’s twinkle twinkle little star!” You gasp excitedly, making Jeno smile widely.

“Exactly. See, you already learned the chorus of a song, after just like an hour.” He gives an I-told-ya-so look and you roll your eyes playfully.

“I’ll admit that you were right.”

“Of course I am,” he grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Do you wanna do more or are you feeling kinda guitared out for now?”

“My brain feels a bit like mush,” you admit with a shy giggle.

He chuckles. “Fair enough. I’ll let you go back to your plans for the day.”

“There aren’t many, to be honest. I just have some studying to do until dinner tonight.”

“Alright, well try not to bore yourself to death,” he jokes, leading you out of the small room. When the servants asked if they should clean up the room, Jeno said no, and that he intended on using it for the same purpose again soon. He walks you to your room, where your guards and Fei and Mei were awaiting you. You bow thankfully to Jeno who returns the sentiment before walking back to his own chambers.

When dinnertime rolled around, Jeno insisted on walking you to the dining hall. “I can find the dining hall by myself, Your Highness.”

Jeno was walking you to dinner once again in the evening. “Princess, don’t take this away from me,” Jeno smirked, looking at you, “this is the only time I’m guaranteed with you.” This walk was the one thing that was a constant in your and Jeno’s schedule.

“Alright then, I’ll grant you the pleasure of escorting me to dinner,” you smirked, teasing the prince. The two of you turned the corner to face Park Jisoo. The sight has the mask falling into place on your face immediately.

“Jeno,” she called out to him lovingly, looking at him with soft eyes.

“Jisoo.” You noticed how easily the name rolled off of his tongue. He never addressed you that way- not once.

She stepped closer, pulling at him, “we haven’t really talked for a minute now,” she sighed, still looking at him, longing for him, “I’ve missed you.” Watching them made your stomach turn.

“I- I’m sorry,” Jeno seemed out of breath, almost afraid to say the wrong thing. Your mask was starting to crack upon hearing his tone of voice.

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” you said with a smile, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” You walked past them, moving to the dining hall, hoping, pleading that the mask didn’t crack all the way through. Is this what Jeno felt when he saw you with Chan? You wondered how he felt, what he thought. Was he in as much pain as you were right now? You had no right to be angry that his heart belonged to someone else, yours did too. Did, funny how one word makes all the difference. Your heart did belong to Chan; he was your love, your light, your warmth, your heart, back home. But here, here in Northcy, you embraced the cold, the sparkle of snow, the feeling of the wind in your face. Your heart belongs to Jeno now. You didn’t even notice the shift, the change when you finally fell in love with the pretty face Prince, who didn’t have a single thought bouncing around in that head of his.

“I-” missed you too, is what I wanted to say but, “I’m sorry,” was what I actually did say. Jisoo, my first love, my high school sweetheart. She was born, bred to be my wife. That wasn’t a secret to anyone with half a brain. Jisoo’s parents were, are, the most powerful noble family, the only thing they didn’t have was royal status. And she was going to be exactly that, my wife.

“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” the princess smiled. It was fake, I could see right through the charade, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” She walked past the two of us, not sparing me a glance; it hurt, I can’t explain why, but it did. I was about to go after her, reach out to stop her, to wait for me, but something was holding me back, someone keeping me here. I looked down to see Jisoo’s hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from chasing the princess.

“Jeno, please look at me, talk to me.” I turned to Jisoo. There were tears in her eyes, my heart broke to see her hurt. “You said you loved me. Was it a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie,” I didn’t know what to say at this point, I loved Jisoo but I love the princess too. I just shared such a sweet, heartwarming moment with her. Very few people cared about me enough to try doing things that I was passionate about. It was probably mostly because life is so busy, but that didn’t make it feel any less special. Princess (Y/n) didn’t see me as a floating crown; she saw me as a person. Could I say the same about Jisoo?

“Wasn’t,” she chuckled at the word, “but it is now.” Tears fell down Jisoo’s face, what do I do?

“It isn’t a lie Jisoo, I did, do love you,” I was scrambling for words at this point, anything to make this right. What do I say?

“Just not as much as you love her,” Jisoo’s voice turned venomous at the mention of the princess. Why would she say it like that?

“Jisoo, I am required to marry the princess,” I felt this invisible crown on my head, weighing my body down. It was almost as if my knees could buckle from the pressure. “I love you, Jisoo.” I do, did at least. "But I cannot continue to see you,” my breathing was even, “I love my fiancée, and I am going to make this marriage work.” I want an actual life with the princess, I want to be there for her, care for her, love her. “For me to do that, I cannot see you anymore, I cannot have two relationships.”

“I can never see you again?” Jisoo’s expression matched the same as the night I broke up with her: angry.

“I didn’t say that,” I was losing my confidence, “I just mean that we can not be sneaking around, meeting in private, you coming to my room late in the night. You and I have to stop.”

“Ha,” she looked away, not meeting me.

"However, it would be best,” the final marker, cutting off someone you spent more than half your life knowing, a quarter of your life loving, “it’s best if all our meetings remain business-related.” Our relationship was over. To say it didn’t hurt me too would be a lie.

I left Jisoo standing alone in the hall and made my way to the dining hall. When I got there, some people were sitting, others were standing and talking in small groups. The food hadn’t been brought out yet, so I made my way to the front of the table where father sat. There the princess sat across from Grandma Lee, the two were deep in conversation.

“I will support Prince Jeno in every decision that he makes, I have no intention of taking his crown from him,” I heard the princess tell Grandma Lee when I got near, “Your Majesty, I agreed to this union because I know that it will be beneficial to my people and my kingdom. No one truly forced me into this, I didn’t argue when my parents presented this to me.” The princess finished her statement.

“I know my grandson,” I paused a little away from the table, hearing Grandma Lee speak, the two not noticing my presence just yet, “he is a good boy but he doesn’t trust easily, and for anything to work between the two of you, there needs to be trust.” Grandma Lee looked at the princess as if she had already committed treason.

“I have gotten to know Jeno in these past few months that I have been in Northcy,” the princess paused, taking a sip of water, “and I truly trust Jeno to do what is best for our kingdoms. If you had asked me when I arrived if I trusted him, my answer would not be the same, but after getting to know him, I have no doubt that he will make a fine king.”

The princess’ confidence in me had blood rushing to my cheeks. Her belief and trust in me fueled my ego. I made my way to the table, taking my seat next to the princess and I looked at her. She’s the girl I’m going to marry, and that thought has never brought me such joy.

Dinner sitting next to the prince was anything but calm; your stomach did flips at every bite you swallowed. The way Jisoo and Jeno looked at each other was something you couldn’t erase from your memory. Jealousy, you were starting to become jealous of the relationship Jisoo and Jeno had, the relationship you wanted with Jeno. Jealousy was a nasty little thing that caused people to do nasty stupid things. And you did something very stupid.

Now here you were standing in between Jeno and Chan wondering why you thought this was a good idea. You were stupid, you weren’t thinking and you just wanted to be with someone, so you called Chan to join you in your room around 11 pm, but Jeno wanted to go stargazing. You and Chan were just sitting on the couch, and maybe just, maybe, you kissed Chan, when Jeno walked in. So now here you were standing in between a very disappointed Chan and a very angry Jeno.

“Your Highness, I apologize for the misunderstanding, it seems the princess wasn’t clear,” Chan said bowing to Jeno, you looked at him, utterly shocked he didn’t even attempt to put up a fight. “I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Chan?” you called out to him as he made his way to the door, “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, princess. I am serious because you were mad, so you used me,” Chan was furious. Your heart started to race, tears welling in your eyes, palms sweating. This wasn’t your intention. Chan had never in the past three years ever just called you princess, it was always ‘my princess,’ and the lack of one word hurt more than you could ever imagine.

Chan walked out, slamming the door behind him. Jeno started to chuckle after Chan left. “Really, princess?” He looked at you, disgusted. “Need I remind you, you’re my fiancée?”

“Oh please, Jeno,” you were angry, Jeno had no right to judge you, “don’t make it seem you’re in love with me now.”

“Yeah, well at least I wasn’t sticking my tongue down another girl’s throat,” Jeno was starting to raise his voice.

“You didn’t need to,” you matched his volume, “you made it evident who you loved without that.”

“What are you even talking about?” Jeno looked at you, dumbfounded.

“You and Jisoo, don’t pretend you’re not in love with her, Jeno,” you sighed and decided to take a seat.

“Are you serious right now?” Jeno was growing angrier, “you make it seem like you’re in love with me when clearly you don’t care about how I feel. All you care about is your little guard.”

“That is uncalled for,” you practically yelled, pointing at Jeno.

“I’m right though,” he yelled at you, “you don’t love me, you love Chan, always have and always will.”

“Don’t kid yourself Jeno, of course I love Chan and you love Jisoo, that’s that,” you spoke in a normal voice, pulling the mask on.

“I didn’t fool around though,” Jeno said, still wanting to argue.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t?” You heard, not from Jisoo, or Jeno, but from Fei and Mei, “what about all those nights when Jisoo came to your room?” Jeno looked shocked at your knowledge, “don’t act so surprised, you know these walls have ears and eyes,” the mask was cracking. You wanted to cry. “Don’t pretend we could make anything between us work. This marriage, you,” you gestured to Jeno, “is nothing more than my duty as princess,” you were done fighting, not having the energy for this anymore. You left Jeno sitting in the seating area of your chambers walking to the bathroom.

After a moment you heard the door open and close. Jeno left. The tears fell, you just laid in bed crying waiting for sleep to take over.

The next day, you were supposed to have breakfast at Jeno’s chambers with him. Instead, you opted to eat in your own chambers. After breakfast, you had a meeting with Queen Jaeyeon and the wedding organizer. The wedding organizer will be in charge on the day of the wedding, allowing you (more like Queen Jaeyeon) to enjoy the day. That meeting took nearly three hours, and by the time it was over, there was only an hour before you had to meet the ladies of the council’s daughters for lunch. You made it back to your chambers, changed your clothes, freshened up your makeup, and went back down to have lunch. The Luncheon was held at one of the many drawing rooms, this room was called the pink room, previously known as the princess room. The walls were painted a blush pink, and the decor was shades of pink with gold accents. By the time you made it to the room, the majority of the girls were there already, just waiting for one or two more. When you looked around the room, at the girls, you noticed only one person was missing, Park Jisoo. Of course, she was late.

“My apologies for being late, Your Highness,” Jisoo walked in the door, smirking as she says her apologies. You thought ‘this bitch can not be serious.’

“You’re here now,” you smiled, the mask was on, “that’s what matters. Please, ladies. Let us all take our seats.”

As soon as everyone was seated, maids brought out the food before long, you sat at the head of the table looking out to every girl there. You had never wished for Queen Jaeyeon ever in your stay in Northcy but right now, right here, you wished she was in attendance.

“Your Highness, are you excited for the wedding?” The question came from one of the girls, Giselle, daughter of Lord Osaki.

“Excited as anyone would be,” You wished this lunch would be over.

“Where will be the honeymoon, Princess?” Yeri asked, daughter of Lord Kim. Her family was in charge of the ports in the country.

“The honeymoon will be pushed back until a better time.” You and Jeno were supposed to travel into Modia after the wedding, so it will most likely be pushed back.

“Are you ready to be queen, princess?” Jisoo asked, her tone was trained.

You were taken back by the question. “I don’t understand the nature of your question,” you said trying to mask the shock in your voice.

“Jeno.” She looked up from her plate, shocked, placing her hand over her heart, “excuse me, I meant Prince Jeno.” ‘Fake’ is all you thought. “Prince Jeno said that King Donghae would be stepping down after the wedding,” she looked at you, the look behind her eyes were taunting, “you and the Prince are to be crowned, correct?”

The grip around your fork tightens a bit as you think about how rude it was for Jeno to tell her instead of you. The crown would be on your head- not hers. “Ah, I understand now,” the mask you wore was stronger than you thought. “Prince Jeno did inform me of this, but as it stands, King Donghae hasn’t made it official just yet.” You smiled. This is your future council, and to hell if you were gonna let someone else run it. “If King Donghae decides to go through with this, then both the prince and I will be honored to take on that duty.” You looked around at all the girls, trying to give a reassuring look.

“Of course, your highness,” she gritted her teeth. It couldn’t be more obvious that she was fake in every corner of her being. That was the last of the questions you got; the girls returned to whispering and talking amongst themselves. No one really talked to you, just giving you looks every other sentence, looking for a nod of approval, one you always gave.

After lunch, there was supposed to be a council meeting in which you were required to attend. There had been many council meetings since the arrivals of all the noble families, many of which you did attend, but this was the first that actually required your attendance. As you left the pink room, there was a voice calling out for you.

“Princess (Y/n),” a girl called from behind you. You half-turned to see her, and by that time she was already next to you, “Zhong Chu-Hua, the granddaughter of Lady Zhong.” She bowed to you, showing her respect.

“Ah, yes, I remember,” you say kindly, unsure as to why this girl needed your attention.

“I see Jisoo has made herself known to you,” Chu-Hua spoke knowingly.

“She has.” The two of you made your way to the throne room, where the council meeting was being held.

“Jisoo and I have known each other since before grade school.” Zhong Chu-Hua was the eldest grandchild of the Zhong family. They owned large amounts of land, were real estate moguls. “Jisoo and the prince were always close, as I am sure you’re aware of.”

“I am.” The two of you made your way across the main foyer, the doors of the dining hall were opening; the Lord’s lunch had ended. They were making their way to the throne room as well.

“I don’t mean to be discourteous, princess,” you stopped to look at Chu-Hua, and she stared directly back at you. “Jisoo will do whatever necessary to get the crown, she doesn’t know what it’s like to lose.”

You smiled at Chu-Hua, then turned and continued to walk towards the throne room, “have not to worry Chu-Hua, I will be quite alright,” you smirked. The two of you came up to the throne room.

You looked around and saw Jeno talking to Mark and Haechan in what appeared to be a hushed voice. You turned more and saw Chan and Hyunjin in the corner. You made eye contact with Chan, but he only looked away. Your heart hurt, you had no intention of hurting Chan the way you did. You let out a breath.

“Are you alright, princess?” Chu-Hua asked, startling you. You almost forgot that she had been next to you.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I’m fine, thank you.” Not a second later, the doors to the throne room were fully ajar. Thank goodness. You were getting worried for a second there.

Walking into the throne room, you bid Chu-Hua goodbye as you made your way to the front of the room. You found the prince. No words were exchanged between the two of you. Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back guiding you to the front of the room, the mask pulled onto your face. To anyone looking at you and Jeno, you guys would seem like a normal, loving couple.

You sat in your seat, behind the queen’s throne on the right-hand side. Jeno’s seat was behind the king’s throne on the left-hand side. It was symbolism, to show that you and Jeno were the future. People began taking their seats in the room. Mark and Haechan’s seats were at the front of the room facing the rest of the council, but not on the elevated stage that yours and Jeno’s were. It was a row of three seats. The first remained empty. Mark sat and Haechan next to him. Lord Park’s family sat closest to the front on one side, no one in between them and the throne. Jisoo looked at you and smirked. You fiddle with the crown pendant around your neck, reminding yourself that you’re the princess and have the power.

After everyone had taken their seats, the doors behind you and Jeno opened. The king and queen entered. Everyone, including you and Jeno, rose and bowed to them as they took their seats. When King Donghae and Queen Jaeyeon stood in front of their thrones, the king waved everyone to sit. He began to make a speech after, one you tuned out before it even began. In fact, you tuned out the majority of the meeting, wishing to be in your chambers and away from everyone.

I have been in countless council meetings, more often than not they were filled with people kissing up to father in attempts to get grants for whatever venture they want to pursue. I looked over to the princess. She was obviously not paying much attention. We had put on a show for the council before the meeting started, knowing that the members would be watching. I want to reach out to her, apologize for my behavior the other night. I didn’t have much of a right to be mad at her or react the way I did. She loved someone else and so did I. I wanted to- needed to apologize to the princess and Chan. I thought of Chan; he was someone caught in the middle, loving someone he wasn’t allowed to love.

When the council meeting finally ended, we put on another show for the council. Father and mother left behind the door first, with the princess and I close behind. I placed my hand on the small of her back, it looked gentle and kind to anyone else, but she knew it was a show.

“Princess,” I stopped her after the doors closed behind us, “I want to apologize.”

“You had no right,” she stabbed my chest with her finger, clearly angry, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.”

“Excuse me?” Playing both sides? What was she talking about?

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings. Tell me, Prince Jeno, are you the only one allowed to have it all?”

“What?” All? All of what do I have?

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?”

No, I don’t get to have both. I don’t want both, not anymore at least. I just want you, Princess, I only have love left for you. She taught me a lot about what it felt like to actually love someone, not be tricked into loving someone. She genuinely made my heart happy. It was something that no one had done for me before- not even Jisoo. (Y/n) walked away before I could tell her any of these revelations I had made, all because of her. She left me standing there, heart in hand.

The council meeting was finally over. You and Jeno put on another show for the council. The doors closed behind you, leaving you and Jeno to stand alone.

“Princess, I want to apologize,” Jeno started.

As he should, he was the one that overreacted, he loved someone else, why couldn’t you? “You had no right,” you started to poke at his chest, his firm, nicely built chest, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.” You were angry but you couldn’t figure out if you were angrier with him or yourself.

“Excuse me?” Jeno looked clueless. Actually, it was quite adorable, but still.

“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day, and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings.” You knew Jeno loved Jisoo, knew from the moment you first saw their picture, but today, your anger peaked much more than you expected it to. Jisoo knew information that you should’ve known, that Jeno should’ve told you. “Tell me, Prince Jeno: are you the only one allowed to have it all?”

“What?” You hated this, you wanted to be angry with Jeno, angry with him for how he acted, angry that he continued to see Jisoo, angry that you couldn’t have it all, but you couldn’t help but think if the roles were reversed, would you have acted differently than him?

“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?” No matter how much you love Jeno, you couldn’t get over the fact that he blew up on you because you loved someone else just like he did.

You walked away, leaving Jeno standing there behind you. You wanted Jeno, but you weren’t ready to let go of Chan. Not just yet. After leaving Jeno standing there, you went to find Chan in the palace barracks, hoping that he was there at the moment.

When you entered the barracks, all the guards stood to bow to you. At times you loved the power trip you felt when this happened, but at other times, like right now, you hated it. You wished you could be invisible and arrive without it being an ordeal.

“Please, relax, rest,” you stated, waving to them to sit down, “I don’t mean to intrude.”

“No intrusion at all, Your Highness,” Johnny, the captain of the palace guards, said. “May I ask what brings you down here, princess?”

“I came to see my guards, are they here?”

“Yes, Your Highness. Right this way,” Johnny led you through the barracks, to a small room in the back. The barracks were set up like a cabin, with a main sitting area in the front with a kitchen and then halls that lead to different bedrooms. “Right here, Your Highness.”

You pushed open the door to a bedroom that was smaller than your bathroom. A bunk bed was up against one wall and two chairs with a small table set to the other side. Hyunjin laid on the bottom bunk, while Chan sat on one of the chairs, leaning up against the wall.

Hyunjin stood when he noticed you in the doorway. Chan remained seated, the captain had left already. “Princess,” Hyunjin said, bowing to you.

“Hyunjin, please,” you grimaced at him bowing.

“(Y/n),” Hyunjin said apologetically.

“Can you give me and Chan a minute?”

“Of course,” Hyunjin gave you a sad smile. It was obvious that he knew.

You entered the room and took the seat across from Chan. He stood up and made his way to the small window, looking out.

“Chan,” you called to him, hoping he would at least look at you but he didn’t. “It wasn’t my intention to use you.” Chan scoffed, still refusing to turn to you. “But I know you felt like that, so I want to apologize,” Chan looked down, his hands in his pocket. “I love you, Chan.”

“Stop,” Chan turned around to face you, putting his hand up to stop you. “(Y/n), I love you, you loved me.” He had put emphasis on the ‘ed’ part. You felt the tears well in your eyes. You hated how only Chan could bring you to tears in mere seconds.

“Don’t lie, (Y/n).” Chan’s words were stern, borderline hurtful.

“I could never lie to you.” You looked down at your lap, trying to prevent the tears from falling. “That night I wanted to feel how I felt back home.” Chan’s gaze softened. “But I just hurt you instead. For that, I’m sorry.” The tears fell freely. Chan sat across from you and placed his hand on yours in your lap.

“My princess, you know I could never stay mad at you,” Chan smiled, “but I’m not a toy for you to play with.”

“I know that.”

“And not for you to make the prince jealous.”

You looked down back to your lap. “I’m sorry,” was all you could say. Chan pulled you up from your chair, but you refused to meet his gaze. He pulled you in for a hug and you felt more tears fall, crying into his chest for longer than appropriate. Chan put his hand under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“No more tears, my princess,” he says softly, using his free hand to wipe the tears from your face.

Chan walked you back to your chambers, the silence between you two was comfortable. It felt like before. You were just down the hall from your chambers.

“You need to apologize to the prince,” Chan spoke up.

“What?” you looked at him, confused. “Why do I need to apologize to him?”

“You were jealous. You sought comfort from another while being engaged to the prince,” Chan looked at you like you were a child, “Tell me, my princess, if you had walked in on the prince kissing the other girl, would you react differently than him?”

You hated that Chan knew you better than most, hated that he could read every part of you, hated that he always knew where your heart lays. “I do not wish to apologize to the prince,” you said, looking away from Chan, trying to show your superiority.

“My princess,” Chan said, grabbing your wrist. You were in front of your chamber’s door. He pulled you to face him. “Apologize to the prince, he did not do anything to deserve your jealous treatment.” Chan looked at you as if you were a child, making you pout, red rushing to your cheeks; you were ready to throw a tantrum about a stupid apology. “Don’t be a brat, and just apologize, my princess,” Chan smirked, knowing exactly what you were gonna do, “you’ll feel a lot better once you do.” He started to walk away, but before completely leaving you, he turned around, walking backward, and said “maybe you’ll get lucky,” with a wink.

You had half a mind to chase him and scold him for making such an inappropriate comment, but at the same time, you just laughed. You felt content, ready to let Chan go. Hopefully, Jeno isn’t too angry with you; you hoped that you didn’t push him too far away.

The evening feast for tonight was canceled, something about emergency meetings, which you gladly accepted. You were left to dine alone in your chambers, you invited Fei and Mei to eat with you, which luckily for you, they accepted. Mei had also slipped in the invitation to Hyunjin and Chan, which you were grateful for. The five of you sat in your chambers eating dinner, just like back home when everyone had meetings and you were left to roam the palace alone. The five of you laughed, talked, borderline cried, you never wanted dinner to end. “No, but don’t you remember that time, (Y/n) beat Minho?” Hyunjin laughed, “the look on his face.” You all laughed remembering that race.

“Please, nothing beats the time (Y/n) flicked off the Prince of Aspos,” Fei recounted, causing Mei to choke on her drink, recalling the night.

“That was the least I could do, considering he said ‘it would be an honor to lick the honey from your toes,’” you mocked the prince of Aspos, everyone nearly died laughing recalling exactly how he sounded.

“What about when (Y/n) threw her birthday cake, hitting the prince dead center in the face,” Hyunjin said, everyone laughed, but you paused for a minute, the mention of your late brother taking you back for a second.

“I remember that,” you smiled to yourself, recalling that birthday, “he said ‘you can’t be queen, you’re just a big baby,’” you chuckled. Everyone was quiet now, watching you recall that evening. “I said, ‘I am going to be queen, just you watch’ and he went,” you let out a breath, the tears were there but hadn’t fallen yet. You felt like you were always crying while here, “he went ‘but you’ll be an ugly one’ and so,” you smiled. You missed your brother but you couldn’t mourn him forever, “and so, I chucked the biggest chunk of cake my hand could hold and it really hit his face dead center.” You doubled over to laugh, the rest laugh at the memory. The now-bittersweet memory. “I almost forgot about that night.” A tear was rolling down your cheek, but your smile was still evident, “thank you for reminding me, Hyunjin.”

“Of course,” Hyunjin offered a soft smile. The rest of the night there were exchanges of stories of all the reckless things you did in Modia. You were reminded no matter how alone you felt, there were people here that cared: Fei, Mei, Hyunjin, and Chan. They cared about you, they knew, loved, adored you, and you were utterly, helplessly, whole-heartedly, and forever grateful to them.

It was well into the night when you finally bid them a farewell, all but physically shoving them out your door. You were grateful for their company but also in desperate need of a good night’s rest. Finally getting them out the door, you hopped into the shower. From there you did your nightly routine, changed, and got into bed. It seemed as soon as you set your phone on the nightstand, sleep took over. You had never fallen asleep so fast, and it was so relieving.

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