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lfthinkerwrites · 5 days

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fireworks - author's choice ❣️

(Went for a different use of the term lol. Hope you enjoy!)

Dr. Arkham sighed. “Harvey, we’ve talked about the language. Before we continue the session, please apologize to Edward for what you said about his mother.”

From his place in the so-called ‘friendship circle’ between Jonathan and Waylon, Edward shrugged, “That’s not necessary, Dr. It’s been nearly thirty years since I’ve seen the woman. For all I know, she could be a syphilitic whore.”

Joker cackled and Pamela made a disgusted noise. Dr. Arkham shook his head. “Edward, please. This group therapy session is meant to foster a positive relationship in Arkham. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in the cafeteria yesterday.”

“We don’t?” Joker asked. “Aren’t we all glad that Jervis stabbed Laszlo with a sharpened spork?”

“You still want us to think Jervis did that?” Jonathan drawled.

“Well he did have the spork in his pocket.” Joker let out an exaggerated gasp. “Wait! Are you trying to imply that he was framed, Spooky? By who?”

“No one’s implying anything Joker.” Personally, Arkham agreed that Jervis didn’t do it, but he didn’t care enough to get the little bastard out of solitary. “Let’s move on. I’d like everyone here to say something positive about someone. Joker, we’ll start with you. Say something positive and keep it appropriate please.”

Joker grinned. “I know something positive! I found out that if you hit Robin in the spleen with a crowbar, he squeaks like a dog’s chew toy!”

Arkham wiped a hand down his face and willed himself not to cry. “I said to keep it appropriate, Joker.” A loud laugh was his only response. Arkham squeezed his eyes shut, internally counted to ten, then turned his gaze to Waylon. “Would you like to say something positive, Waylon?”

Waylon rubbed his chin with a scaly hand. “It can’t be about eating people?”

Arkham resisted the urge to throw his writing pad at Waylon’s face. He had a shock collar on and there were armed guards just outside, but why risk it? “No Waylon, it can’t be about eating people.”

Waylon nodded. “Ok. I have something positive to say about Jervis.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’m happy that he’s in solitary and I don’t have to listen to him whine about Alice!”

Joker cackled again, as did Edward, Pamela, and even Arnold. Arkham took a deep breath. “Fine, Waylon. That’s nice. That’s very nice. Now, does anyone else have anything positive they want to say?” Edward’s hand shot up. “For the love of God, anyone other than Edward?”

Joker clicked his tongue. “Uh, uh, uh, Dr. Arkham. Remember, positivity!”

Arkham was positively sure he was about to storm out of the room, call Belle Reve and have every single one of these degenerates join Harley down south. “Fine. Ok. What do you have to say, Edward?”

Edward lowered his hand and smiled. “I’d just like to say that I really do appreciate my time in Arkham. Whenever I’m here and interact with you all, I’m reassured that I am indeed, the most brilliant criminal mind in all of Gotham.”

Harvey jumped up and threw his chair at Edward, who yelped and jumped into Jonathan’s lap to avoid it. Waylon caught the chair and threw it back, sending it flying over Harvey’s head. It hit the wall with a crash. Joker threw his head back and laughed.

“Get off me!” Jonathan shouted, shoving Edward to the floor.

“Asshole!” Edward shouted back.

“Narcissistic megalomaniac!”

“Inbred hick!”

“High school dropout!”

Edward gasped. “Jon! You promised never to tell anyone about that!”

Pamela laughed. “All that talk about being a genius, and you couldn’t even finish high school? Pathetic.”

Arkham agreed, but he needed to at least attempt to get things under control, or else the guards would come in and…actually, wait. Fuck these people. The guards could brutalize them as much as they wanted. Edward was up on his feet now and screaming in Jonathan’s face, and Jonathan was screaming right back. Waylon, Harvey, Pamela, and Joker seemed content to watch the show, Joker chiming in with his own commentary. Arnold just kept nervously watching the door.

Dr. Arkham really, really hated his job.

#fic prompts #fun with group therapy #the gotham rogues

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #damian wayne #the riddler #gotham rogues #Damian was very confused

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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Rating mental breakdown spots in Gotham

Gotham subways: 5/10. Can blast emo music through your headphones. Train occasionally stalls. Other passengers too burned out to notice you.

Gotham U: 10/10. You're likely not the only one. School mascot hands out free tissues.

Batburger: 8/10. Semi-public depending on seating. Tears make the fries soggy. Line cooks are wrestling in the background.

Crime Alley: 0/10. People think you're drunk. You're a prime mugging target. Kids laugh at you.

Sewers: -2/10. Smells bad. 50% chance of Croc attack.

Iceberg Lounge: 3/10. Judgy rich snobs. Bathroom full of people doing coke. Drinks too expensive to drown yourself in.

Wayne Gala: 4/10. Also judgy rich people. Must dress formally. Can't stick your head in chocolate fountain. Dick Grayson will become your therapist whether you like it or not.

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bifbm · 1 month

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Bats and their least favourite Rogues to deal with (other than Joker of course)

Bruce hates dealing with Two-Face, mostly because of knowing and valuing Harvey as a friend and he feels a sense of guilt that he wasn't able to save the man.

Damian does not enjoy fighting Poison Ivy as he actually agrees with many of her ideologies, and cannot always fully convince himself she's not going about it the right way. Ivy knows this and loves to use it against him. Damian is also not fond of her cuddle pollen as it allows his overbearing older brother to latch onto him like the limpet he is with a viable excuse.

Tim HATES Hatter. Losing control of your mind is basically Tim's worst nightmare. The Joker Junior incident only adds fuel to his mind control terrors. Whenever Hatter gets out the rest of the family has to keep an extra close eye on Tim who tends to give up sleeping in order to put Hatter back in Arkham.

Scarecrow is the least favourite of both Dick and Jason. Although every member of the batfam have their fair share of traumatic memories, Dick and Jason always find reliving theirs hardest to shake off. Any loud thumps after set both of them off, Dick thinking yet another person has hit the floor and Jason thinking it was yet another strike of the crowbar.

Stephanie is terrified of Professor Pyg. He is not as loud and demanding of attention as the rest of the Rogues so the others never consider him as the worst but there is something about him that makes her absolutely sick to her stomach. She's had one close encounter with him and never wants to see him again. If she's a little quick to let someone else take a case that may involve him that's nobody else's business but hers.

Cass is not a fan of Riddler. She is the least equipped to deal with his games as she cannot fully grasp the double meanings of many English words and Riddler has very confusing body language to read. Cass does not like feeling useless and Riddler is terrifying in his own right so being completely unequipped to stop him is not something she enjoys.

Duke hates Condiment King. And Kite Man. Such B-list villains but of course with his luck they always escape on the day shift. Mustard and ketchup are incredibly difficult to get out of the cracks in his armour and Kite Man is annoying and has an unfortunate habit of picking him up and DROPPING HIM. Duke's over it.

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batcavescolony · 2 years

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Upcoming Villain in Gotham: if only we knew Batman's identity! Then we could just go to his house and-

Riddler: we all know his identity

Catwoman: I regularly go to his house

Harley: I went to med school with him

Two-Face: he was my best friend

Red Hood: he's my Dad

UCVG: ...wait what?

Red Hood: family, you know how it is.

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red-hood-redemption · 1 year

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#dc comics #gotham rogues #I HAVE POLLS NOW #VROOM VROOM BITCH 🏎️

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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Danny no longer has a haunt. So… he decides to find another one. And while he technically has a whole world (other dimensions aren’t an option because he’s going to stay near where Jazz’s grave is, damn it) there’s only a couple of other places with enough ambient ectoplasm to sustain him. Nanda Parbat, Tokyo, and Gotham.

Nanda Parbat had a weird old musty immortal that kept trying to summon him and exchange power for the ability to “take a worthy body and rain as much destruction” as he’d like. As if Danny would need a body to bring the world to its knees.

Tokyo… it’s too far from Jazz’s grave. He could ask Wulf or even open his own portal but when Danny tried it out, Tokyo was too peaceful. Obviously there’s crime, but nothing… nothing big like Danny’s used to.

Danny ends up picking Gotham, even if the sewer zombies and the weird group of rich fruit loops with an adoption problem creeps him out. So, he destroys the portal, packs up his parents’ house and sells it, and hauls ass to the cesspool calling his name. His family’s stuff is stored respectfully in a vault located on the deepest parts of his personal haunt in the Infinite Realms.

And honestly, he’s doing better. Sure, he’s got a shitty apartment near another revenant’s almost-haunt and he feels like he’s drowning all of the time, but Danny isn’t in danger of turning into Dan, he’s catching up on royal paperwork, and he’s got like a job as a barista. In his own coffee shop that paid for using his parent’s money (who, despite their hazardous everything, made a crap ton of money off of their more normal inventions).

Gotham’s got some pretty interesting local gangs, most of which respected the sanctity of Danny’s cafe. Sure, they tried blowing it up and tried extorting money from him in the form of “protection costs” but after three months of failure, they gave up.

(Really, the local gangs gave up when they saw him take three shotgun shells to the chest and continued to work.) (They didn’t know it never hit him. Intangibility is extremely useful.)

The Rogues, on the other hand, just gave Danny flashbacks. Their gimmicks are different, sure, but after years of Box Ghost, Skuller, Lunch Lady, etc., Danny’s more than done with costumed villains. They don’t bother him either. Some of the reason is probably due to Harley and Ivy, who had walked into the cafe and (because they were bruised and scratched up from a fight) triggered Danny’s mother hen tendencies. They were promptly fed and watered and caffeinated and their hyenas were also similarly taken care of. They declared the cafe under their protection and that was that.

Red Hood stops by, and begins to interrogate him. But when Danny met his… helmet eyes? The crime lord paused, paid for his coffee, and sat in a corner table of the cafe for the rest of the day.

And he kept coming back?

But Danny figures it’s because Hood was a revenant and people who had come close to death tends to feel more comfortable around him.

(Considering this is Gotham where people almost die every other day? Yeah, he’s pretty much friends with everyone. Or at least, less likely to get shot.)

(Hood does stay because of the King’s presence and the Pit calming itself, but also Danny’s hot and he’s got a sleeper build and Hood definitely did not imagine himself in the place of the heavy box he saw Danny lift effortlessly onto a table. No.)

But of course, the peace couldn’t last forever. But by then, Danny was so antsy, he welcomed the trouble with open arms.

It starts with a clown. Danny knows who he is. He knows who Danny is.

So, Danny has no idea why the clown thought it would be a good idea to aggravate the owner of Gotham’s official neutral grounds. See, Clovkwork? Danny’s learned how to gauge his own political importance!

“HAHAHAHAHA! COME OUT, DANNY-BOY! LET ME TELL YOU A JOKE!”

Danny comes out and grabs a chair, and with a flat expression, says, “you’re not funny and I hate clowns.”

And then he swings and slams the chair into the Joker’s face. Over and over again until Danny’s sure the clown won’t get back up. The thing about Gotham’s outdoor chairs is that they’re mad out of steel and are bolted down to the ground to prevent undedicated thieves (dedicated thieves can and will steal the bolted down steel chairs). The Joker’s hired muscle just watched this scrawny twenty-something year old yank the steel chair and take some of the fucking ground and the bolts with it and beat the fuck out of their boss who is the literal Joker.

They surrender on the spot and is taken to jail. Danny just smiles at the officers who come by and since he’s got pretty privilege and they don’t want to mess with the guy who, again, owns one of Gotham’s official neutral ground and also beat up Joker without breaking a sweat, the officers just lets him go with a warning.

And then the bats comes, and wow, Danny’s playing mentor to a formally dead person again!

But before that, the Red Hood asks for an autograph on the Gotham Gazette article with a picture of a tired Danny standing over Joker’s prone body. Then Hood stammers through asking Danny out (which Danny said yes to because he’s tired, not blind, and Hood is built like a brick house and HOT).

Batman interrogates him. Danny, who can tell that this man needs therapy and is Sad TM, tells Bats that Danny’s died before and that’s why he’s like this. He also calls Batman a furry, but like in a nice way. And then he kicks Batman out with a coffee and a file on Nanda Parbat.

Now, Danny’s got a date to prepare for and he realizes that maybe this is what Jazz wanted for him- to be happy and mostly safe and happy. (Or, happier, he thinks. It’s been a long time since he’s been truly happy, but this might be a good start)

#bamf danny phantom #danny phantom #dc x dp #jason todd #Jason takes him to a library and they pick out books for each other #Danny asks him on a second date and they talk about the book over coffee #and then they watch the stars (Danny uses his ghost powers to clear a patch of sky)#but Danny just kind of watches Jason’s face and goes yeah this is just as good #Danny dngasf #Danny will throw hands with a clown #Danny thinks the Gotham Rogues are kinda cute #with their gimmicks #unimpressed bc they’re kind of obvious #and he’s seen worse and better #danny is Gotham’s Mom Friend

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darkmodepls · 8 months

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One of my personal headcanons is that, if Amity Park is entirely liminal, Jason is always the first person to discover it and regularly goes to visit on holidays. Amity's enthusiastic and incredibly violent holidays.

So, Jason is super excited to go see his girlfriend during the Walpurgis Night festival. So excited that he has entirely thrown caution out the window and has been gushing about this festival to his henchmen.

Gotham being Gotham, word makes it back to the Rogues. While some of the meta Rogues are planning to cause havoc while the Bats are without a heavy hitter, some of the Rogues more involved in organized crime (Penguin, Two-Face, Black Mask) decide to try and take out Hood while his guard is down.

The City Spirit of Amity apparently finds this hilarious as it does nothing to stop them from crossing its borders and actually giggles at them.

Thoroughly creeped out by the disembodied laughter, the Rogues spread out to find Hood.

Penguin gets accosted by his Cousin Jack and is dragged off screen. Two-Face somehow starts a fist fight with Box Ghost over whether the number 2 or the number 4 is better. Black Mask actully holds Hood at gun point for all of 3 minutes before he gets bowled over by the brawling duo.

The Amity residents consider this is as good a reason as any to kick off the festivities a couple hours early.

The next three days proceed like the chorus of The Irish Drinking Song. The fighting is only interrupted by offers of food and alcohol.

Hood and the Rogues roll back into Gotham still drunk and slightly concussed. They all stay on friendlier terms once they sober up and at least one of them takes Jason up on his offer of going to another Amity Park Holiday.

#dp x dc #liminal amity park #fanfic #gotham rogues #Amity Park Holidays

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 11 months

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Danny finds out hes a clone/ adopted, and instead of processing that like a normal person he decides, "Well its not like they can find me so imma mess with my bio parent(s) while venting my frustrations. Two birds with one stone."

Hence (hero or villian of your choice) begins receiving letters via untraceable magic of him telling them he's thier clone/son and just telling them about his day/past adventures.

Unfortunately most of his adventures are horrifying and the person is desperately scrambling to find thier dumb (possibly undead) child and rescue them.

It probably doesn't help that Danny only signs his name as Phantom and is careful not to give clues to his location.

#dp x dc #fanfiction prompts #danny phantom #danny fenton #prompts #dc #danny phantom x dc #dc x dp au #this should be fun #danny casually writing about skulker wanting to skin him alive and mount him on the wall like a deer head #and about his creepy godfather who has a secret torture dungeon to *break him* if he were to ever get custody #imagine a rogue tearfully coming to batman #doesnt even need to be a gotham baddie

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bluerosefox · 6 months

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Over Tea

A sudden chill sweeps through Gotham, almost like Mr. Freeze had just attacked only thing was the man was currently locked away in Arkham, and was felt by all. And talked by all via word of mouth and on social media as well.

The clouds and smog that covered their dark city shifted and swirled, a rumble beginning deep inside them as the weather turned from smoggy to rain and thunder with no real warning. The strangest thing was the green glow that could be seen when thunder rumbled inside the gray clouds.

Then like a candle being blown out, the rumbling stopped, the rain ended, and the clouds parted all over Gotham.

For the first time in a while Gotham had a clear sky and it felt... it felt like something heavy had been lifted off the city.

It was this sudden shift and the all felt chill that had set off alerts for Batman and his family. Since early morning since the first change and shift happened he was in front of the Batcomputer trying to narrow down where it started.

After hours of searching with the help of Red Robin, Oracle and strangely enough Red Hood, they managed to narrow down where the odd power had been coming from.

Was still coming from, only very low.

The old and abandoned observatory tower.

-x-x-

"More ecto-tea Lady Gotham?" Danny asked, his hand waving towards the steaming pot nearby.

The woman smiled lightly, her dark painted lips curling up to show her sharp fangs for a moment before saying "No but thank you Young Kingling though I would like more cookies if you don't mind. Now where were we?"

Danny nodded towards her and signaled towards a maid skeleton ghost who walked forward with a tray of cookies. The maid swiftly placed a few more cookies on the spirit embodiment of Gotham plate before bowing and stepping away.

"We were just about to discuss the sentience of the Court of Owls." Danny said as he lightly tapped the large almost mountain of paperwork on the table they were sitting at, floating high above the floor as shooting stars and planets drifted around them. Many ghosts floated around as well, servants that had sworn their loyalty to the Young King, and were preparing things like snacks and drinks for two powerful beings in the room as they discussed business. Nearby doors and windows though were ghostly knights that stood tall and alert, making sure no interlopers interrupted the meeting taking place and ready to defend not only Lady Gotham but their King.

"Ah yes them." Lady Gotham grimaced as she took a drink of her ecto-tea. "That will take some time for us to discuss, they've been running around unchecked for to long and even with my limited abilities to hinder them has been less than ideal."

"You, Lady G, were deeply cursed for many, many years and I just broke most of it." Danny cut in quickly, he was not about to let this wonderful and powerful city spirit blame herself for something out of her hands "Due to said curse you couldn't do much so please don't go blaming yourself. Its mostly broken now, so you can freely start healing yourself and your city self now that jerk demon that cursed you is in Walker's prison for his crimes."

Lady Gotham grew silent for a moment, her dark eyes staring deeply at the young King but then warmly smiled, well as warm as she could seeing how she was Gotham itself. "You reminded me of my Knight, Young King, treating me like this. Not afraid to point out the truth and facts."

Danny gave a light laugh as he took a hold of one of the cookies on his plate and gave a bite "I'll take that as a compliment Lady Gotham. Now about those Court of Owls...."

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc #blue rambles #crossover #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #ghost king danny #Danny visited Gotham as part of his new kingly duties to discuss things #only to find the city spirit chained and cursed by a demon #he fought the demon and kicked its butt now that he's cleaning up Pariah Dark bad management #Lady Gotham been trying to save her city self for years but couldn't do much #Her Dark Knight and his bats and birds helped ease the pain #but the demon encouraged and influenced a lot of Batman's rogue's #The Joker is the one he's most proud of #Lady Gotham did her best to save her people from his influence #some listened others didn't #anyways Danny came to Gotham because he noticed a lot of papers for the city and well #again found the demon and fought him #it caused a huge shift in Gotham that couldn't be ignored #and we all know Batman wouldn't ignore it.#Honestly I just wanted Ghost King Danny and Lady Gotham discussing business and drinking tea as they float.#I like to think the Batfam do get to the Observatory and somehow sneak in even with all the guards.#what happens next I leave open for others to play with.#11 pm ideas and thoughts

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puppetmaster13u · 4 months

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Prompt 159

Tucker is done. Absolutely done. Danny, this time it’s your fault, and not his, this time it wasn’t him who touched the magical weird artifact thing. At least Sam is there too, so they can complain together.

Or they would, if not for the fact that their bodies are toddlers, and somehow stuck to freaking ghost-speak! And not even proper ghost-speak but like, toddler ghost speak!

He can’t see his PDA anywhere either, which is downright heartbreaking. Patricia had been the best thing he’d made to date! And she was now gone!

At least Danny is also stuck in the same situation as them and- Wait. Okay. Nope, he better not have just seen Sam float slightly. It would not be fair if she got ghost-powers too- holy realms his hand just went through the floor. Okay. Alright.

They apparently all have ghost powers now. As toddlers. In some unknown place that had some sort of ecto-stream runoff thing. That wasn’t concerning at all.

Oh, did he mention the gold-eyed figure staring at them from across said stream? Well they were across the stream, now they seem to be staring at them from like a foot away and maybe having a breakdown. Or a headache? They were clutching their head is what he was trying to say, but his stupid baby vision wasn’t the best at a distance.

Yeah he’s blaming this one on Danny.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #sam manson #danny fenton #tucker foley #talons #The talons are Pretty Sure these are strange baby-talons but think they might be sick #So they’re taking turns hiding them from the Court so they aren’t destroyed #Someone will eventually find out that there’s several rogue Talons stealing from stores #That day is not today #Halfa trio #Talons are attempting to parent & might end up stealing some Lazarus Waters #The issue is that the closest Pits are either under Gotham or in the Batcave #Tucker wants to throttle Danny because they’re freaking BABIES #Dude they’re in diapers and it’s absolutely horrible he does Not Like #This is how Tucker learns he can just summon handfuls of sand to throw at his friends

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obsessedwithstarwars · 10 months

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Bruce: How was your class trip Damian?

Damian: It was quiet and productive Father.

Bruce: I’m glad to hear it. What was your favorite part?

Damian: I learned how to escape an Iron Maiden.

Bruce: …

Damian: …

Bruce: Explain please.

Damian: A boy Drake’s age taught me how to escape an Iron Maiden.

Bruce: How did he have that knowledge?

Damian: He claims his family has a dungeon full of medieval torture devices. I believe he may require further investigation.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dp crossovers #quiet means no rogues #Danny definitely found Damian studying the Iron Maidens #they had a conversation #Danny was careful about what he mentioned #but not careful enough for a Bat #Danny hasn’t figured out how much info is too much #Amity Park knows the Fentons are just weird like that #I can’t decide if this is a school trip for Danny #or if Jazz got custody and moved them to Gotham #if she did then Vlad is definitely bothering them #Batman is about to feel a very strong urge to adopt #I haven’t decided if I should write more or add this to my current unpublished wip #but it’s up for grabs nonetheless

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Poison Ivy: And then he said my lipstick was ugly!

Robin!Dick, dangling over a tank of acid by his ankle: You can do so much better!

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #poison ivy #pamela isley #gotham rogues #gotham #dc robin #robin

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incorrectbatfam · 21 days

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Black Mask: Any last words?

Jason: I miss Macaulay Culkin.

Dick: Tell Oracle I love her.

Jason: Sure, make me look like an asshole.

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nerdpoe · 7 months

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Danny decides to open a haunted house for Halloween-in Gotham. For kicks. He reserves the opening night for the Bats and only the Bats. The Bats do not have a choice in this.

They all wake up in the haunted house.

Their rogues, who had big plans, also wake up in the haunted house-but they don't get the toned down spooky version Danny's working on for potential customers that he's doing a test-run with via Bat testers.

No, the Rogues are locked in the basement with the ghosts of everyone they've killed.

Danny's got Tucker running the cameras, Sam helping coordinate the Ghosts, and Danny himself is running the actual spooky bits.

In theory, it's the perfect haunted house.

The best way to test it though, he feels, is against heroes that face scary things every day.

So.

Red Hood walking down a hallway, sees feet dangling from the ceiling. But there's a convenient beam blocking their view, so he strides up just as the feet vanish-and that's a solid wooden ceiling.

There's a note with a smiley face.

"Please rate your haunting experience on a scale of one to ten! :)"

Robin sees a shadow, and he chases it. And chases it. And chases it. And foolishly he somehow manages to let it lead him to a dead end-only when he turns around, the shadow is in the door.

And it's just a being made of pure shadow, with elongated limbs, breathing with a horrible wet rasp as it stares down at him.

Then it disappears.

In it's place, there's a note.

"Please rate your haunting experience on a scale of one to ten! :)"

Red Robin hears Batman call out for him to look something over, so he goes into the room.

Batman isn't there.

Batman's voice whispers in his ear from behind.

"Never thought you'd fall for that~"

The door slams shut.

Red Robin turns to open it, but it won't open. Not even if he picks the lock.

The floor creaks, and when he turns around he sees Batman standing right there-only for him to dissolve piece by piece.

In the puddle of weird green goo, there's a note.

"Please rate your haunting experience on a scale of one to ten! :)"

Bruce is in what looks like a child's room.

The temperature drops, and he braces for a supernatural event, because this is clearly what's going on.

The air stands still-and every single toy's head snaps to look at him.

They open their mouths and scream, green goo gargling up and spilling out of their lips.

The lights cut out, then they come back on; and the toys are all arranged around him in a peculiar pattern.

There's a note at his feet.

His lips quirk up against his will.

"Please rate your haunting experience on a scale of one to ten! :)"

Nightwing knows he's being fucked with.

He knows it.

He recognizes the room he's in-it was in the pamphlet for the new haunted house opening in Gotham. He'd really wanted to go, actually, but he was kinda sad he didn't have anyone with him.

He wanted it to be a family outing.

But from what it looks like, this is probably a test run. No ones emergency beacons have gone off, and there's only swearing in the comms cut through with mild amusement on Bruce's part.

Ugh, he doesn't want spoilers! He wants to go through it for the first time with everyone else!

"Hey, um, I was actually planning to come here with my family! I don't really want to be spoiled on anything, so can I skip this? And can I have anyone you haven't tested it on skip it too? Cuz they're probably friends or family and I want to be on the same knowledge level of what to expect."

The air itself seems to pause.

"Ah, shit, I'm sorry man. I didn't even think of that; I'll pull Spoiler and Signal before we start their runs."

Nightwing turns towards the intercom and waves cheerfully.

"I mean, we'd definitely be down to walk through the house tonight, but I want to do it in a group so we can laugh at each other."

"Oh, for sure, I just got too caught up in the 'creepy' part of the haunted house. The exit is hidden in the wall to your left, just pick up the rotary phone and it should pop out."

"Alright, I'll be waiting for them at the front!"

@simplestoryteller

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #danny and co own and run a year-long haunted house in gotham #rogues are afraid to go anywhere near it #it becomes the most successful haunted house in the usa #it actually creates a tourism factor for gotham besides people wanting to see the “most crime ridden city ever”#danny and dick get along great #and after things settle he works with the bats (without knowing their civvie identities) to make it better #bruce is highly amused by the whole thing #the fact that during halloween it's basically gotham rogue daycare really helps with that #long post #ficlet

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leoleolovesdc · 5 months

Text

The fact that Batman insists on calling his villains by their names makes me feel so many things.

He insists on these people’s humanity even after everything they’ve done.

That’s not Poison Ivy, that’s Pamela.

That’s not Harley Quinn, that’s Harleen.

That’s not Scarecrow, that’s Doctor Crane.

That’s not Killer Croc, that’s Waylon.

That’s not Riddler, that’s Ed.

They’re not a “rogues gallery”, they are people.

#notice how joker doesnt have a canonical name #and even if he does bruce doesnt call him that #because he is too lost #he doesnt have any humanity left #dc comics #batman #dc #gotham rogues #batman rogues #rogues gallery #poison ivy #riddler #harley quinn #killer croc #scarecrow #villains

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