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prettyboyjackhughes · 3 years

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-Boy Best Friends- [J. Hughes & T.Smith]

Literally no one asked for this but Kelly @prettyboycozens and I were talking about how much we love Jack and Ty's friendship, especially after the interview of Jack where Ty comes in and then came up with this idea and I had to write it so here we are! Hope you enjoy!

Jack and I had been close since we were little. We started out next door neighbors then he was the weird boy who I waited at the bus stop with, then he became the boy I had every class with in middle school. Around 6th grade is when we finally clicked and became best friends. He calls me ‘Ranch’ even though my name is Rachel, all because one time his phone autocorrected ‘Rach’ to ‘Ranch’ and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. He even changed my contact name to ‘Ranch’.

It’s been an interesting 8 years being friends with him and watching him grow up. The funny thing is, I’m pretty sure we’ve only spent a full year together one time during our whole friendship. He’s always been off doing all his hockey stuff while I’ve been home in Michigan. But then college rolled around. He got drafted the summer after my senior year, managing to watch me walk across the stage at graduation before flying up to Vancouver for his draft 2 days later. I watched him get drafted on TV and remember the thrill of hearing New Jersey picked him because coincidentally, the college I was planning on attending, Seton Hall, was about 20 minutes away from the arena he would be playing in. Knowing I would be getting to spend, hopefully, the next 4 years with my best friend within a short car ride’s distance away for the first time in 8 years was some of the best news I had gotten in a long time. The first year was rough but I managed to survive, mainly because of Jack. It took a while to figure out the dynamic of our friendship but we settled into a routine and a comfortable cycle. We went back to Michigan for the summer, spending it with our families. He trained most of the summer while I worked. But almost every evening was spent together. Then it came time for us to head back to Jersey and back to the chaos that waited for us.

“Why are you living in the dorm again next year? When Ty and I have a perfectly good room for you to stay in?” Jack asked, his face way too close to his phone. We had been on FaceTime for at least the last 2 hours, him distracting me as I attempted to do homework.

“Because I can? Why would I wanna live with you and Ty?” I shot back, smirking as he looked offended.

“Well that one hurts. Hey, I was just offering so you didn’t have to worry about getting stuck with a bad roommate, like freshman year.” I grimaced at the thought of my freshman year roommate. I had spent more time camped out in Jack’s apartment than at my own dorm.

“That is a good point. But who said you and Ty are good roommates? I know for one, you never pick up anything, your room was always a disaster when we were little and Ty sings in the shower so there’s two cons.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“My singing is lovely! You’re just jealous you can’t sing as well as me!” Ty yells from across the room as Jack turns the camera to show him.

“We’ll work on the singing. And I’ve gotten much better at cleaning up after myself. I even know how to do laundry now!” Jack says, excitedly. I laugh and put my pen down.

“This really isn’t convincing me to move in with you two. Just saying.” Jack rolls his eyes.

“Just give us a chance. It’ll be fun.” I shrug.

“Okay fine. But you do know that means Brady will be around the apartment, right?” Jack’s face screws up a little and I roll my eyes. Brady is my boyfriend that I met midway through my freshman year. He was a sophomore, majoring in business and just happened to be at the very first party I went to. He was older, in a fraternity and sweet-talked me. I fell head over heels for him almost instantly. But the issue was that Jack and Ty weren’t huge fans.

“Jack, he's not that bad.” This time it’s Jack’s turn to scoff.

“Yeah because having to go and pick your drunk boyfriend up from a party every 2 nights doesn’t make him that bad.” Ty appears next to him and starts talking.

“Rach, we’re just looking out for you. We don’t exactly love the guy.”

“Well that’s what’s gonna happen so get used to the idea.” Jack looks over at Ty.

“I think we can be civil. So you’re moving in?” I nod and Jack cheers. I roll my eyes and start to think about what I have to pack.

The next two weeks are a whirlwind of chaotic packing and moving. The boys were sweet enough to give me the biggest bedroom in the apartment, even though I had the least amount of stuff out of the 3 of us. Once I had moved in, the boys and I settled into a routine of me cooking, then cleaning up, them doing laundry and me folding; really just a lot of splitting up the housework and jobs around the house to get them done. Brady was around a lot, but Jack and Ty were civil and not complete jerks. I was proud of them. But then one night, while Jack, Ty and I were watching some movie Ty had been wanting to watch, I got yet another call from Brady asking me to come pick him up.

“Baby…I…need you to come get me…I-“ Brady’s drunk voice is drowned out by the yelling and music in the background and I can’t hear him anymore.

“Brady, where are you? I’ll come get you.” He mumbles something back but I can’t understand it so I just end the call.

“I have to go get Brady. He’s drunk at a party again.” I say, sighing as I get up off the couch. Jack and Ty exchange a look and then Jack gets up too.

“I’ll drive you. You’ll have to make sure he doesn’t puke in my car though.” I nod as Ty stands up too.

“Might as well come along for the ride.” I slip my shoes on and follow Jack out the door of the apartment, Ty closing the door behind us.

“Let me check his location and I’ll tell you where we’re going.” After enough times of being left sitting somewhere and having no idea where Brady was, he ended up agreeing to share his location with me. In times like these, it was his saving grace.

“He’s about half an hour away. The party must be somewhere in New York.” Jack doesn’t say anything, just starts driving. The ride there is silent, for the first time. Usually Jack and Ty won’t shut up when we’re in the car, constantly fighting about what music to listen to, whose turn it is to drive; everything under the sun is up for discussion when we’re in the car. I usually sit back and listen, occasionally injecting myself into the conversation when I feel necessary. I’ll also play mediator when they’re fighting over something stupid. But the fact that it was silent in the car right now, made everything so much worse. It feels like we’re driving to the end of the world.

“There’s the house.” I say, almost 45 minutes later. Jack manages to get the car parked and turns around to look at me.

“You want us to come with you to find him?” I shake my head, sliding out of the car and shutting the door behind me. This would be the 5th time I’ve had to pick Brady’s drunk ass up from a party in the last 2 weeks. I was getting pretty tired of it. But his explanation was that it was because he was in a fraternity. He said that it was apart of his “brotherhood” or something stupid like that. I didn’t buy any of it but I loved him so I let it go. And as I waded my way through ridiculously sweaty bodies all dancing to way too loud music, I remembered how much I didn’t like partying.

“Hey you’re Brady’s girlfriend right?” A girl asks, grabbing my arm and yelling over the music. I turn to her and nod, an eyebrow raised.

“I just saw him go into a room with some other girl. Top of the stairs on the left.” I gulped, hoping she was wrong.

“Thanks!” I yell back, hurrying over to the stairs and taking them two at a time. I wind through people going up and down the stairs and manage to get to the door. As my hand finds the handle, I take a deep breath, hoping and praying that the sight behind this door isn’t going to be what I think it is. I finally bite back the fear and push the door open. Sure enough, sprawled out across the bed with some girl’s hands all over his bare chest is my boyfriend.

“Baby? Hey I-“ He says, starting to sit up.

“Fuck you. Hope she’s worth it.” I spit out, glaring at him before turning around to rush out of the room. I stumbled down the stairs, bumping into people and blindly apologizing as I pushed through the crowd. Somehow I managed to make it out of the house and into the back seat of Jack’s car.

“Hey hey hey are you okay? Where’s Brady?” Jack asked, a concerned look plastered across his face.

“He-he cheated on me. Wi-with some girl at the p-party.” I stuttered, fighting the tears pressing against my eyes. He and Ty exchange a look and then both look at me.

“Just drive Jacky. Please.” I whisper as the tears finally start to slow a little. It’s silent again for most of the car ride. My phone kept buzzing with texts and calls from Brady but finally, after what seemed like the thousandth call, I put it on do not disturb and tossed onto the seat next to me.

“Well, I mean, there’s always the option of kicking his ass.” Ty says from the front seat, looking up into the rearview mirror at me.

“What do you say, Jacky boy?” I bury my face in my hands and finally let the tears fall.

“Shit Ty, she’s crying! You broke her!” Jack says, hitting Ty’s arm as he looks back at me.

“I didn’t break her! How is it my fault!” They continue to argue back and forth the rest of the ride home, which would usually make me smile and roll my eyes but not today. Not after what just happened.

As soon as we get back to the apartment, I rush inside and to my room, closing the door behind me. I heard Jack and Ty come in not long after me and whisper about something for a while. I hear the front door open and close again and then Jack tapping lightly on my door.

“Hey Ranch, you okay?” He asks, getting a tiny smile from me because of the nickname.

“I should’ve listened to you and Ty. You said he wasn’t good for me but I didn’t listen. I-I thought he loved me.” This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve cried to Jack about boys. I’ve had my share of boyfriends through the years and every single break up was cried out, usually over the phone with Jack.

“Ty went to go get you ice cream and I remembered how much you like bubble baths so I got one ready for you if you want…” He says, awkwardly picking at his thumb and looking at me.

“Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have you as my best friend? You and Ty?” He smiles a little as I sit up and walk over to where he’s standing in the doorway.

“You both are going to make some very lucky girls happy someday, you know that right?” He smiles and nods as I hug him.

“Now aren’t you glad you moved in here?” I smile and nod, looking up at him.

“Yeah. Yeah I am.”

#jack hughes #ty smith #best friends #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #jack hughes imagine #ty smith imagine #new jersey devils #the ty to my jack #crying buddies

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asteriismos · 4 years

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five oh five - jacob thrombey

warning(s) : eighteen! jacob thrombey, ddlg, choking because it wouldn’t be an eleanor fic without it, an overuse of the word daddy pls, this is honestly just filth

authors note : anyone else think of jacob thrombey while listening to 505 by the arctic monkeys? no just me ok

words : 3k

request(s) :

imagine telling jacob ur into ddlg and he’s like “what’s that” and the reader is like “i’m baby and also ur daddy 😤😳” and he’s like ok let’s go try it out 🥴

ALSO OMG A FUCKING JACOB T FIC WHERE HE EXPERIMENTS WITH DDLG I-

it started off as an inside joke.

when you told your friends that you were talking to jacob thrombey, they were not short of making fun of you. everyone has heard stories about jacob and all the crazy shit that he did with past girlfriends and hookups. he was infamous for being the womanizer of your private school. and what started as simple snapchats back and forth turned into exchanging numbers. you had made the mistake of leaving your phone unattended and your friend grace saw his incoming texts.

“you are not talking to jacob thrombey!” grace exclaimed, grabbing your phone from the table and passing it along to the other girls in your group. they all looked at the text and saw the contact name as jacob, and there was only one jacob in your grade.

you blushed, reaching to take your phone back. “so what if I am?” you said, raising an eyebrow. a blush rose to your cheeks.

“look at that, she’s blushing. gross. she’s in love,” your other friend kelly said with a roll of her eyes. you stuck your tongue out at her and put your middle finger up. “I am not,” you said to her.

but you totally were. soon enough you were going on a date with him, and then that date turned into two and then three. you liked jacob a lot, despite his stupid twitter rants that he went on sometimes and how he always liked to piss off his parents whenever you were there for dinner.

your friends, upon hearing the news of your new boyfriend, teased you endlessly for it. it made you laugh, but also made you want to punch them in the face sometimes when they talked about how many kinks he probably had. it was the worst when he would be sitting next to you at the lunch table and your friends would burst out laughing thinking about their conversations that you had during sleepovers.

“he probably likes bdsm or something like that,” kelly said, taking a sip of her mug filled with tequila. your parents could care less if you and your friends were drinking at the house since they weren’t even home, but mugs were always some kind of tradition with your group. “probably makes you call him sir.”

you hit her on the shoulder, cheeks burning up in a blush. “shut up! seriously this is embarrassing.” you took a sip of the contents in your own mug and wrapped the blanket over your shoulders closer against him.

“no, no, no. guys, you’re totally missing the obvious one : a daddy kink! thrombey definitely has that. did we guess correctly, y/n?”

you rolled your eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”

that was two days ago, since then it became some kind of inside joke between your friends. the more you thought about it, though, the more you thought about how hot it would be to call jacob daddy. there was a certain appeal to it that you desperately craved, and you were going to see if he thought the same thing.

you haven’t had sex with him yet either. not because you were a virgin because you definitely were not, neither was him from the massive amount of rumors that surrounded him. it just hasn’t happened yet.

you were determined to change that.

you were walking up to jacob’s room now, since his parents weren't home a maid let you in through the front door. your footsteps echoed along the mahogany wood floors all the way to his bedroom, which was at the very end of the hallway in his house past his fathers office that laid empty. the door was closed as per usual, and you knocked three times, opening the door when you heard a small come in.

the second jacob turned away from his homework and saw you, his face lit up, he closed his textbook and turned his chair to face you. “hey, didn’t know you were coming so soon. thought you were coming in an hour or so?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow up. smirking, he said, “not that I mind.”

you shrugged. “I don’t know, I got bored at home and didn’t want to wait longer to see you.”

jacob stood up, walking towards you and putting his hands on your sides. he pulled you close, your eyes flickering up to look into his own green ones. “missed me that much?” he asked in a teasing tone, leaning down and kissing you. your hands went to cup his face and kissed back, humming in content. it was hard to ignore your heart rapidly beating in your chest, you really did like him.

you pulled away and smiled. “I guess you can say that.” jacob laughed and went to go sit at the edge of his bed, pulling out his phone and looking at the time. “well, I guess we can stay here for a while before we go out to eat then? if you want. I'll see what’s open today,” he said, scrolling through his phone. he wasn’t looking at you and you smiled to yourself.

he was oblivious.

you set down your bag, standing there with your arms crossed while working up the confidence to do what you were going to do. in one quick moment, you tugged your shirt up over your head, dropping it to the ground silently. he still wasn’t paying attention. you smirked and pushed down your pants, stepping out of them and that grabbed his attention. jacob sat there staring at you, eyes wide while looking over your body. you wore a black lace bra with matching panties, standing there and batting your eyelashes.

you sauntered over to him, throwing your legs to either side of his waist and placing yourself right in his lap, face nearing his. “what are you doing?” he asked, hands going to the small of your back. his fingertips led to goosebumps on your skin, breath hitching in your throat when his lips attached onto the column of your neck.

“hmm, nothing, just wanted to try something out,” you hummed, rolling your hips against him. he was already beginning to strain through his pants, and that led you on to go further. jacob’s face pulled away and his eyes locked on yours, asking a silent what is it? your hands reached for his face, cupping his jaw and kissing along it, teeth grazing along his soft skin.

“I was wondering if I could call you daddy,” you muttered lowly, his eyes catching yours yet again. instead of their usual light cheery look, they were dark, filled with lust. he liked that. he liked that a lot. jacob didn’t have to say anything, since his hands on your back held you against him as he shifted your bodies. jacob was now on top of you, hips grinding against your own. your moan caught in your throat. he looked at you, ordering, “say it again.”

“daddy, please fuck me.”

he didn’t need to be asked twice.

his lips were connected to yours and his hands trailed to your hands, grabbing both of them by the wrists and pinning them up above your head. your hands strained against his own, quickly losing the battle of dominance with him and succumbing to his touch. harsh kisses were pressed along your lips to your jaw, paying special attention to that sweet spot where your jaw and neck connected. his teeth grazed along your skin, taking it into his mouth and sucking. your eyes fluttered shut, a sigh passing your lips.

although the thought of him being completely dominant and you unable to control anything, you thought that it would be even better if you teased him. you didn’t call the shots all the time in the relationship, but you were always a little bratty when it came to following his orders. testing the waters, you pressed your hips upwards towards his, gasping at the pressure that was alleviated for just a moment. as quickly as you had been there, he let his free hand trail down and press your hips into the mattress. his other one stayed with your pinned wrists.

“don’t be a brat, y/n,” jacob said in a condescending tone. “brats don’t get anything, and you want something, don’t you?”

you only nodded, not trusting your voice. your eyes stayed closed, feeling his kisses trail down to the valley of your breasts. your back arched up as you tried to get some kind of gratification, you needed it. you needed him so badly you thought that you just might die. jacob’s hand on your waist squeezed tightly, bringing your attention back to the present and out of the fantasies in your mind. “use your words, princess, if I wanted you to be silent I would’ve put something in your mouth.” you shivered.

your voice wavered as you said, “I want you, daddy. please.”

“that wasn’t so hard, was it?” his hand around your wrists squeezed them, pushing them further into the bed. you stayed as still as you could for him, only moving your head to see what he was doing. you looked down and saw (and felt) that he was still paying close attention to your tits.

jacob captured a nipple in between his teeth and he bit down just a little bit to pinch it, sending shockwaves right down south. he had you in the palm of his hand, wrapped around his fingers and he knew it. he wondered how he hadn’t succumbed to this lustful attraction before, since you guys have been dating for a while. the buildup was long, but so rewarding in this moment.

he looked at you like you put stars in the sky. he was so immensely attracted to you, not just physically, emotionally, and that made the connection that much more powerful. it was like there was an invisible string that held you two together, not able to get that far without the constant pull.

and while he was kissing along your tits, going from one to the other, hearing those soft gasps and moans coming from his lips - well he knew that he was going to lose it soon. this teasing game, no matter how much he loved it, didn’t account for the fact that he was almost instantly hard the second that he looked up from his phone minutes ago to see you in just skimpy lingerie

his fingers danced along your soft skin, going down, down, down until he was at your lower stomach. a finger hooked along the edge of your panties and pulled up, letting it snap back onto your skin. you jumped at the tiny impact, the pain of it turning into pleasure the second you realized how close he was to you. that same hand trailed down until he was rubbing along the wet spot, pressing down along your clit and mumbling something along the lines of so wet for daddy, but you were too busy getting lost in the sudden pleasure to really register what he had said.

“please,” you begged, your eyes staying on his face. you had a desperate need to alleviate the pressure in between your thighs. you wished that you could press them together tightly, but his hips were situated in between them, rendering that idea merely useless. you knew that he wouldn’t have stood for that anyway.

without a second thought, your panties were being pushed to the side and he was plunging two fingers in. his index and ring, which were so much longer and thicker than yours that you weren’t expecting it. luckily you were wet enough for the discomfort to last for only a moment, pain once again being replaced for pleasure at the hands of jacob thrombey.

his fingers were curling in just the way to make your toes curl while they pumped into you. you were left writhing, feeling the grip on your wrists tighten with the more you moved. you knew that there would probably be bruises left for you to see tomorrow and shamelessly find a way to cover them, but you loved it.

you would let jacob mark you up however he wanted to if it meant that you could feel this good.

you were sure that by the loud moans that you were making, the people working inside of his house would be able to hear what was happening. they were smart to just turn a blind eye, since jacob would surely be royally pissed off if one of them interrupted you.

all that slipped past your lips were his name, voice so high pitched as you ran towards that high. your legs started to tremble and close around his hips, but he just kept them open before him. jacob’s thumb pressed against your clit and that almost had you cumming, almost there. “jake, im gonna-”

everything stopped.

jacob pulled his fingers out of you, in fact, he pulled his whole hand away from your heat, bringing it back up to caress your cheek. you could feel yourself coating his hand against your skin. you looked at him with such desperation, your throbbing, neglected pussy felt hot and deceived. the bastard.

he kept a smirk on his face while you looked at him, feigning anger that he knew wasn’t really the case. “you don’t get to cum until I say so,” he said to you in a condescending tone, pressing your cheek. “which is soon, I promise, you’ve been a good girl for me.”

surprisingly, he let go of your wrists, using both of his hands to turn you around so that you were laying on your stomach. “push yourself up for daddy, will you?” he asked, hearing him pull off his shirt and undoing your belt. your legs were still a little wobbly while you pushed yourself up onto your knees, ass in the air just waiting for him.

you wiggled your hips and heard him chuckle from behind you, feeling the bed shift with his weight and soon enough his hands were on your waist again. he gave you a kiss to the middle of your spine, making you tingle all over. even though he was being the dominant one, there was still emotion behind all of his touches. it made your heart warm.

the first thrust into you almost made you slump down into the mattress, and you would have, but one of his arms slinked around your waist to keep you up on your knees. your face was pressed against the sheets, mouth wide open in a silent moan that had gotten caught in your throat. you were sensitive from his fingers, and knew that you wouldn’t be lasting too much longer, especially because he left you high and dry minutes ago. it wouldn’t be hard climbing to that peak again.

“keep yourself up,” jacob ordered. you nodded slowly, whining as he snapped his hips against your ass, hitting a deeper spot in you. his arm left your waist, the hand connected to it came and wrapped around your throat lightly. the feeling of his fingers spreading along your delicate skin, squeezing just a little bit made you groan. the vibrations from your groan went through his fingers and he kept the pressure, hips rutting into you relentlessly.

you were having a hard time keeping yourself up, muscles starting to strain every time his hips pushed close. but you did it, because you couldn’t really even think about it. he was hitting that spot so deep inside you, it had you moaning every time his tip pressed up against it.

“daddy, im going to cum,” you moaned in a desperate tone. your cheeks reddened.

jacob’s hand squeezed harder on your throat, leaning over and kissing along the back of your ear. “not yet, don’t fucking do it yet,” he said in a dark tone, sucking a hickey right behind your ear. you felt tears well up at the overstimulation, trying your best to do what he was telling you to do. you felt like you were dancing on some cloud and you were going to fall any second now. the adrenaline pumping through you, like fire coursing though your veins.

“cum.”

and you did, your legs finally giving out and shaking, body slumping into the mattress. his hand stayed at your throat and you couldn’t just focus on one thing, your mind was going haywire. you were in a bliss, a constant euphoria that you knew you never wanted to get out of. you clenched around him with not one second after he told you that you could cum wasted.

with a scream of his name, you rode out your high, him still thrusting in and out until he pulled all the way out. he pumped himself with his hand and soon enough he was cumming onto your back. you could feel the hot liquid on your back, dripping down, he watched it and relished in the feeling of you looking like this.

he left the bed for just a second, just to get a towel and cleaned you up, kissing your spine again and helping you roll over. you pushed your panties back into place and he left again, still in your eyesight where he opened up one of his drawers and gave you an old t shirt of his. you accepted it gratefully, pulling it on and humming because it smelled like him.

“I really like you,” you said to him, shifting on the bed so you were under the covers. jacob was just in his boxers now, coming to join right next to you. he felt warm and you cuddled into his chest, his arm wrapping and keeping you close. “more than just physically.”

jacob kissed the top of your head. “I like you too, y/n. but you have to call me daddy more often.”

you hit him playfully. “don’t get your hopes up, thrombey.”

#jacob thrombey #jacob thrombey x reader #jacob thrombey smut #jacob thrombey imagine #knives out #knives out imagine #knives out x reader

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alarawriting · 3 years

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52 Project #37: A Very April Christmas

Part of this originally appeared as Inktober 2019 #17: Ornament.

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“Where is my fucking box of Christmas ornaments?”

April was busily tossing everything Catrina owned down the stairs from the attic garret where she lived. “April! What the fuck! That’s my stuff!” Catrina yelled.

“Yeah, your stuff that you couldn’t bother to keep neatly like I told you to, and this is seriously a health code hazard,” April said. “But more importantly, you’re living in the room I put my Christmas ornaments in, last January, and I need to find them.”

“You keep tossing my stuff around like that and I’ll kill you, mraow!”

“It’s my house, bitch, and you don’t pay anywhere near a fair rate for the rent.” April moved on to the back of the attic, where no one lived. “Ugh, this place is a nightmare.”

Catrina came up into the attic. “Well, whose fault is that, meow? All that’s your mess.”

Behind her, Kelly stuck her oversized head up. “I think Marie Kondo needs to come to this house,” she said in a strong Japanese accent. “April-san, I can’t imagine that any of that stuff back there sparks joy.”

“Hey! What are you doing in my room? Sssss!” Catrina postured at Kerry Kitty with her claws out. “No other cats allowed, this is my territory!”

“Oh, then you don’t want me to bring up the things April dropped,” Kelly said. “Okay.” Her large paws opened and dropped the pile of clothing she’d been carrying.

“Wait, no!”

“Oh, so you do want me to help you bring up the clothes,” Kerry said. “Please make up your mind.” In her accent, “clothes” sounded a bit less like garments and a bit more like taco-craving corvids.

“AHA!” April brandished the box of ornaments. “Found you, you little motherfuckers!”

“April-san, your language. Emily might hear you!”

“Emily is probably eating the Christmas tree,” April shot back. “Make way, coming through, lady with large box here!”

Kelly jumped off the attic stairs with as much grace as a 5-foot tall bipedal cat with a giant head could achieve. Catrina dodged and rolled onto her own bed, or what was left of it after April had dragged it around looking for the ornament box. April, six foot two and model-slim with a frankly impossible body, toted the large box over to the attic stairs, balancing it on her shoulders, and then tossed it down, following that with a graceful jump to the floor herself. “Everybody gather round!” she shouted in her most saccharine voice. “It’s time for Christmas decorating!”

“Doktor Zapp isn’t here,” Lovey said in her sad, slow voice. “Don’t you think we should ask him to come upstairs?”

“Pfft, no. That nerd never wants to come upstairs. Besides, what do you care? He’s scared of dogs.”

“I’m not a big dog,” Lovey said, despite the fact that she was almost as tall as April herself. “Anyway, he’s only scared of bad dogs. I’m a good dog.”

“Goo dug,” Emily Egg agreed, thick baby fingers twined in the puppy’s fur. “Wuvvy goo dug.”

“Yes, I’m sure you said something, but no one cares what,” April said. “Sheonte! Cherry! We’re doing Christmas decorations!”

“We don’t celebrate Christmas in Ponyland, and I really don’t appreciate you trying to push your human customs on me,” Cherry yelled back.

“Fuck, no, you’re a children’s cartoon. What do they do for your holiday specials? I know you’ve got something that looks just like Christmas. Get your horse’s ass out here so I don’t need to keep yelling.”

Sullenly Cherry Blossom plodded out of her room. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“On Best Pony Friends. You’ve got to have some kind of Christmas-like holiday for the holiday specials.”

“We have the Festival of Friendship… I guess it’s kind of like Christmas. We give our friends gifts, and hang up ornaments, and make snowponies, and sing carols—”

“So what you’re saying is, it’s exactly like Christmas.”

“Minus the overcommercialization and people trampling each other to get the last copy of a cheap mass-manufactured toy, yeah, I guess.”

Kerry volunteered, “I used to be on the air right before Best Pony Friends. Their Christmas is very nice-looking.”

“It’s the Festival of Friendship! Not Christmas!”

“You just keep telling yourself that,” April said. “SHE-ON-TE! We are all waiting on you!”

“A Diva is never rushed,” Sheonte yelled from her bedroom. “Beauty and style like this takes effort.”

“Come on, bitch, they threw you out of the Divazz because you tried to kill Vivi and your ex.”

“They were fucking! In my bedroom! You’d have tried to kill them too.”

“I don’t think the language in this house is a very good example for Emily,” Lovey complained.

“I wouldn’t have tried to kill them too because that would never happen to me because Chad is a real gentleman who would never cheat on me,” April said.

“Yeah, too bad you such a ho you gotta cheat on him.” Sheonte finally made her appearance, strutting into the room like she owned it. Her Afro was lightly sprinkled with pale glitter on the edges to create an effect much like she’d just been walking in light snow, and she was dressed stylishly with 14-inch stiletto heels, a green velvet miniskirt, a white blouse that did not cover her multiply-pierced belly button, and a shimmering silver jacket. And many belts around her body that didn’t seem to actually do anything. And by “stylishly”, April meant “like a cheap whore.”

“Look, it’s not my fault that Chad is such a gentleman that he’s waiting until we get married. Saving yourself for marriage is a beautiful thing in a man, and I really appreciate his sacrifice! But I gotta get my pussy pounded by someone, and Mr. Vibrator can’t always do the job, you know?”

Lovey was covering Emily’s ears with her paws. “April! You can’t say things like that in front of Emily!”

“Oh, like she understands.” April walked up to Emily, smiling. The baby, who would be only slightly shorter than April if she could actually stand up, beamed up at her from her position on the floor. “Who’s such a stupid baby?” April said in the same cheerful tone that one would say “Who’s such a good dog?” to one’s good dog. “Yes, you are! You are a stupid little baby!” Emily laughed and clapped.

“Can we get this over with?” Catrina asked. “April fucked up my entire room and I’m gonna have to spend the rest of the day fixing it, mraow.”

“Yes, we can get it going now, since I’m here,” Sheonte said. “April, where are the ornaments?”

“Right here,” April said, and opened the box with a flourish…

…to an assortment of brightly colored bits of shattered glass.

“Oh, shit,” April said.

“I think maybe you should not have thrown them down the stairs,” Kelly said.

“Bitch, you tear my room apart for this?” Catrina snarled. “These weren’t shit to begin with, meow, and then you went and shattered them to pieces on top of that?”

“Yeah, these ornaments were shit before you broke them,” Sheonte said. “What’d you do, get a truckload of shiny glass balls at Target?”

Emily began to cry. “Owwmens!” she wailed, which probably meant “ornaments” but sounded entirely too much like “omens”.

“We knew how to do a Christmas with the Weargirls,” Catrina said. “We used to go over Batrice’s mansion and decorate with lights and a ton of different ornaments, meow. Gorgeous stuff.”

“Yeah, well, feel free to go live with Batrice. Door’s that way,” April said.

Catrina made a face. “They’re vampires. They don’t have any windows, sss.”

“This is very sad,” Lovey said, her permanent sad-hound-dog face emphasizing the sadness. “I’m very sad.”

“Owwmens!”

“AwOOOO!”

“Oh, for the love of Christ shut it, both of you. I know what to do.” April closed the box of ornaments. “To the Glitter Van! We’re gonna go to the Christmas store and buy ornaments!”

“Kissmas tor?” Emily asked, cheering up right away.

“Oh! I love Christmas store! Let me get Christmas kimono on before we go!” Kerry said, and ran off before April could stop her.

“I’m not dressed for going out,” Catrina complained. “I need to try to find something I can wear, meow, since you trashed my room!”

“Yeah, this is not a Christmas store look,” Sheonte said. “I’m gonna change into something better for going out.”

“This is California, it’s not like it’s cold,” April said.

“I didn’t say better clothes for cold weather, I said better clothes for going out. This shit’s okay for just hanging with you bitches, but if I’m gonna get Seen, I need to look my best.” She strutted back to her room.

“I don’t wear clothes,” Cherry Blossom said.

“Yeah, good for you.”

“But your mane looks like a stinking pile of dog doo. You need to go get brushed and get dressed yourself before you go out looking like that.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion, you nag.”

“That is a misogynist and ageist slur among my people and I’m going to post about your insensitivity on social media if you don’t apologize right now.”

“Apologize to this,” April said, giving Cherry the middle finger.

She sat down on her couch, defeated, as Cherry trotted away. “This is totally fucked up.”

“Don’t worry,” Lovey said, snuggling against April, trying to cheer her up by being a dog. “I’m sure you’ll be able to fix everything as soon as everyone gets ready and we can go to the ornament store.”

Lovey had been in this house long enough to know that “everyone gets ready” could take upward of 3 hours, and besides, April didn’t like dogs. She pushed Lovey away. “Easy for you to say.”

The door to the basement opened, and Doktor Zapp, dressed in his characteristic lab coat, goggles, and blue shirt that he apparently never took off, stuck his tiny head out. “What’d I miss?”

***

If it had been April’s decision, Lovey and Emily – especially Emily – would not be coming with them, but Emily was the one most enthusiastic about going to “Kissmas tor”, so obviously she couldn’t be prevented from coming along, even though she was a baby nearly April’s size, bigger than Cherry Blossom and Doktor Zapp. Ugh. As long as Kelly or Lovey watched her and April didn’t have to do it. She had her hands full with her sisters. They didn’t live with her, but they leaned on her hard enough it was practically like she was being their mom.

Cherry Blossom had a bag of apples she was snacking on. Loudly. She was sitting in the back of the Glitter Van, because she couldn’t sit in a seat for humanoids, so she, Lovey, and Emily were all in the back – Emily could in theory sit in a seat, but a baby seat large enough for her couldn’t. It was amazing how loud the sound of a pony chewing an apple could get all the way to the driver’s seat.

April honked her horn. “Jesus! Get a move on, people!”

From her vantage point in the front of the Glitter Van, she could see an endless line of tiny cars in front of her. Very tiny cars, about a fifth the size of her van. Traffic was always like this. Sometimes there was one of the buses or cars the BittyFolx drove around in, and sometimes some superhero’s tricked-out car, but generally speaking it was always the little cars causing the traffic jams.

Sheonte, in the front seat next to April, commiserated. “Fuckin’ wonderful, right? No matter what time of day you try going anywhere, there’s all these tiny-ass cars on the road.”

“I should just run them the fuck over,” April said.

“Yeah!” Catrina cheered from the seat directly behind April.

“No!” Kerry, from the seat next to Catrina, and Lovey, in the back, yelled. Well, in Lovey’s case, howled.

“That’s a great idea if you want the cops up your ass,” Sheonte said sarcastically. “Now I know white girls with money get away with a ton of shit, but even your lily white tushie ain’t gonna be able to walk away from running down a dozen little Wheels o’Fire cars.”

“Fuck this,” Cherry announced from the back. “I’m getting out and I’m walking.”

“That’s nice for you, you’re a fucking horse,” April snapped. “Maybe you can kick some of those goddamn Wheels o’Fire cars out of the way so we can get somewhere on this highway?”

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Doktor Zapp, sitting on the back row seat, shouted, with the German accent that came and went in his voice stronger than usual. “I have an invention that can make the car fly, will that do?”

“Well, why the fuck didn’t you say something earlier?”

***

The Christmas store was a roughly semi-hexagonal structure, if the bee creating the hexagon was drunk. Two different storefronts came together as one of the corners – a Playstuf grocery store, from the same line as Doktor Zapp, and a Pam in the Pocket clothing storefront. These were barely taller than April herself. The third side that made up half the hexagon was a large cardboard storefront, taller and deeper than the other two, with a smiley face on the visible outside of it.

The second half of the hexagon, such as it was, consisted of what had once been neatly laid out aisles of baskets containing Christmas decorations, except that the aisles had ended up scattered around by the actions of customers and employees, and probably the will of God. It was now less of a hexagon and more of a shapeless blob.

On the right of the Christmas store, outside the blob of the store’s merchandise layout, there was a Christmas tree. It, like the Playstuf and Pam in the Pocket storefronts, was only a bit taller than April herself. And underneath that Christmas tree, there were shiny boxes wrapped in reflective wrapping paper. These were very large for presents, about half as tall as Doktor Zapp.

A nutcracker soldier stood in front of the store, his jaw moving somewhat unnaturally. “Welcome to the Christmas Store! Welcome one, welcome all!”

Emily, crawling out of the van, saw the fake presents and immediately beelined for them, crawling eagerly. “Pwezens!”

“Oh, shit,” April said, as Emily, who was significantly larger than most of the people here, knocked over several of the baskets of merchandise, and at least one Puppy Pal carrying merchandise in her mouth, who barked at Emily in irritation. “Emily, what the shit? Get back here!”

“Pwezens!”

April sighed deeply, and then began walking away from the scene, toward the middle of the store, pretending she didn’t actually know Emily. Sheonte, Kelly, Catrina and Doktor Zapp were heading toward the ornaments, and Cherry Blossom had stopped to chat up a horse who was standing by the side of the store, waiting for its rider.

Emily grabbed the first of the presents and tore the wrapping paper up. “Emily, you shouldn’t do that!” Lovey said, ineffectually, and then started howling. “APRIL OR SOMEBODY, AWOOO! LOOK AT EMILY, ROOO!”

“Jesus Christ,” April muttered, “I can’t take that kid anywhere.” She stomped over to Emily, whose lip was wobbling in disappointment that the first box she’d ripped open was empty. “Emily Egg, get your baby ass out of those fake presents right now!”

Emily began to wail, sitting in her pile of wrapping paper and torn-up empty box. Lovey, never one to fail to loudly sympathize with a suffering child, started howling in solidarity. “AROOO!”

“For God’s sake,” April said. Now everyone was staring at her. “Emily, get back in the car!”

“No!” Emily yelled. “Want pwezens!”

“These aren’t presents, you idiot, they’re decorations!”

“Ma’am, you need to control your child,” the nutcracker said.

“Ugh. She’s not mine, I’m just her landlady – EMILY STOP EATING THAT!” April had to snatch silver wrapping paper out of Emily’s mouth. “Emily, if you’re not good, they’ll kick us out of the Christmas store! Do you wanna get kicked out of the Christmas store? And you won’t get any ornaments? And Santa will give you coal for Christmas?”

“BWAAAAH!” Emily wailed. “No! No! Want pwezens an owwmens!”

“Well, then you better be good! Those aren’t yours!”

“No pwezens?”

“No presents here. This isn’t even our house! How would Santa know to bring you presents here?”

“Come on, Emily,” Lovey encouraged. “Let’s go look at ornaments!”

“Owwmens!” Emily agreed, no longer crying, and crawled off with Lovey.

“This place really needs wider aisles,” April muttered.

Someone was sarcastically applauding behind her. April turned. “Jayda?”

“If it isn’t April,” Jayda said. “Winning Mother of the Year awards. I never thought I’d see you tied down with a kid.”

“She’s not my kid,” April said through gritted teeth.

Jayda looked very much like April herself, except she was black, with full, thick hair that had first been relaxed and then curled like the hair of a white movie star from the 50’s or something. “Really? There’s such a strong resemblance,” Jayda said dryly.

Sheonte came up behind April. “Jayda! Girlfriend! Ain’t seen you in for-ever! Whatchu been up to?”

“Oh, the usual,” Jayda said. “Photo shoots, modeling gigs… I just did a couple of commercials, and my agent is talking with a movie producer about getting me some acting work.” She smiled, smugly. April assumed the movie producer in question was the one that fired April for demanding top billing over her male co-star, who was in fact not nearly as famous as she was. She forced a smile onto her own face.

“Oh, that’s great!” she said in an incredibly fake voice. “I always knew you’d manage to snag a job that takes talent, somehow, eventually!”

“Anyway, April, since when have you been adopting kids? And how’d you keep the paparazzi from finding out?”

“You serious, girl? You think April would adopt a kid?” Sheonte laughed, loudly. “That ain’t April’s kid. That’s Emily Egg. You don’t recognize her?”

“I’m not really following the world of baby dolls,” Jayda said. “You know, I’m a young adult, and I spend my time dealing with young adults. We don’t really have time for babies.”

“She’s my tenant,” April snapped. “Not my best friend, and not my kid. Apparently she’s a big thing on the baby doll scene, but like I give a shit? I just care that the rent checks come in.”

“Oh, right!” Jayda snapped her fingers. “I remember now! You couldn’t get work, so you had to get roommates so you wouldn’t lose your house!” She made a very fake looking expression of concern. “Are you doing any better on the job market?”

“I’m writing a book,” April said, still unable to un-grit her teeth. “It’s a tell-all memoir about all the talentless bitches I’ve had to work with in my career. You ought to pick it up when it comes out! It’s got a whole chapter about you.”

Jayda rolled her eyes. “You’re so immature,” she said. “Better get back to your baby before she wrecks something else.”

Emily was knocking over baskets of ornaments. Lovey was moaning for her to stop and be good, but since she was a large dog without opposable thumbs, there wasn’t much she could do to stop the baby or clean anything up. “Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, thanks for the heads up, but she’s not my kid.” She stomped off to try to deal with Emily.

“So how’s it goin’, girlfriend?” Sheonte asked Jayda.

“We’re not friends,” Jayda said. “We may have done a few shoots together, but I don’t even know you.”

Sheonte rolled her eyes. “It’s a figure of speech, girl. You gonna give me a lecture about family trees if I call you a sister?”

“Wasn’t it your sister you tried to kill?”

“No, bitch, it was my best friend Vivi, because she was fucking my husband. My sister is in high school, and she’s crushing it. Gonna be valedictorian at this rate. What’s your problem with me?”

“Seriously?” Jayda asked in disbelief. “Don’t you remember when April and Friends was competing with the Divazz, and you were a total jerk about it?”

“That was years ago.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna be friends with you just because you’re part of April’s entourage now.”

“I am renting a room in her mansion. I ain’t gonna be best pals with her either. But you don’t wanna be friendly, that’s fine. That’s fine. No one needs a stuck-up snotty bitch like you for a friend, anyway.”

“Ugh.” Jayda looked at the ceiling, and then walked off. Sheonte shook her head.

“That bitch is the whitest black girl I ever met,” she opined, and went back to where Catrina was picking out ornaments.

***

Outside, Cherry Blossom was trying to talk to the horse. “So, you come here often?”

The horse nickered.

Cherry Blossom spoke words, not nickers, and had no idea what the horse had just said, but the apples she’d been eating ever since they got in the car were fermented, so she didn’t care. As much as she hated being stuck in this world where almost everyone was human and she was a universe away from her friends, there were compensations… like the fact that humans never questioned whether her apples were exactly fresh or not. Apparently humans only imbibed alcohol in liquid form, explaining why their word for intoxication was “drunk.”

“You know, if you wanted to go off on the side with me and, you know, put on a pony show?” She wiggled her rump and lifted her tail, batting her eyelashes. “That’d be nice.”

The horse nickered.

Cherry Blossom rubbed her face up against the horse’s side, trying to reach the horse’s face with her face. The horse turned its head so she couldn’t reach. “Oh, don’t be like that,” she said.

***

In the Christmas store, Kerry was chatting up Pippi Pig, a Swedish animal star almost as well known in the US as Kelly herself. “I didn’t know you were in the US!”

“I’m doing a holiday special,” Pippi said. “Pippi Pig’s Christmas! It’s my first big Christmas special!”

Kelly, who had done dozens of holiday specials, for Christmas, Obon, New Year’s, Doll’s Festival, Halloween, and many others, in America and in Japan, clapped her paws together. “That sounds so great!” she said. “You must be so excited!”

“Oh, yes, I’m very excited!” Pippi agreed. “Kelly, can I ask you something?”

“Of course!”

“I don’t mean to be offensive, but… is your name actually Kelly or Kerry?”

“Yes,” Kerry said.

“No… I mean, which one is it?”

“It’s Kelly or Kerry,” Kelly said, exaggerating the l and the r sounds so she could make it clear they were different. Normally, when she said one of those letters, they weren’t.

“But which one do you prefer?”

Kerry laughed. “Kerry was first,” she said. “Then I came to America and they called me Kelly. Then back in Japan they wanted to be like Americans so they called me Kelly. It sounds the same but when they printed it on the merchandise, it was Kelly. And then they changed their minds and decided I should be Kerry again. So either one is okay.”

“Wow,” Pippi said. “I guess I should be glad that Americans and Swedes can both pronounce Pippi more or less the same way, right?”

“Oh, I like it,” Kelly said. “I like to feel like I can be a whole new kitty every time I cross a border. Or anytime I want to, really.” There was a loud sound of breaking glass behind them, a wail from a large baby, and a howl from a dog. “Oh dear. Excuse me, I might have to do something.”

***

“That one, meow! I want that!”

Catrina had filled her basket with glittering things that moved. So far she had a pinwheel, a top (this wasn’t much good as a Christmas ornament, because it was half as tall as Doktor Zapp), a disco ball, a Santa Claus with a glittering beard that said “Ho ho ho” when you squeezed him, several strands of tinsel, a singing bird made of mirrors, and a butterfly covered with sequins. Also, a lot of Nativity-related stuff. The thing she was pointing at now was a bird made of sequins, hanging from a tree.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” Doktor Zapp complained.

“I want you to get it for me, meow.”

“I’m shorter than you! How am I supposed—”

“Yo, Catrina,” Sheonte said. “What is with all the cheap-ass shit in your cart?”

“Cheap-ass shit?” Catrina said indignantly. “These are gorgeous, mrow!”

“They’re tacky as all fuck. What’s with all this Baby Jesus shit? Basic as f, girl.”

“Yeah, well, what kind of ornaments were you gonna get?” Catrina snarled.

“Nice stuff. Like this.” She picked up a frosted glass ball. “Understated. Not in your face being all shiny. Maybe one of these.” This one was a very delicate white snowflake made of something fragile and light. “Not all shit that makes you look like some kind of magpie.”

“I’m a cat! I like shiny things that move!” Catrina snapped. “And calling my taste tacky is rich, coming from you!” She waved at Sheonte, encompassing her outfit, which consisted of a white fur coat, tall leather boots in gold, and a black miniskirt. Under the white coat, which was half open, she was wearing a black velvet tube top over a golden silk top. She also had half a dozen bracelets on one arm.

“Hey, bitch, my taste in fashion is cutting edge. You look like you’re wearing one of April’s rejects.” Catrina was wearing skinny-jean shorts, a chunky belt, and a light blue blouse with short sleeves. Her feet were bare.

“Hsss! You take that back, mrow!” Catrina backed up and flashed her claws at Sheonte. “I have my own fashion sense, not a ripoff of April’s!”

“Couldn’t tell by me,” Sheonte said lazily.

Doktor Zapp took the opportunity where neither of the girls were looking at him to head out of the main shopping area, trying to make his way over to Cherry Blossom, and accidentally bumped into an old man from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. “Watch it!” the old guy said, reaching reflexively to his side, where he did not, at the moment, have a gun.

Neither did Doktor Zapp – he’d left his ray guns in the lab. “Sorry!”

“You better be sorry,” the old guy said crabbily. “You see these joints of mine? I got carbonite all up in them. Got stuck in carbonite once and I’ve never been able to get it all out. I’ve been practically crippled ever since.” The substance in question appeared to be brown clay, and it was in fact in all of his joints.

Doktor Zapp commiserated, showing off his cyborg leg. “A dog got my leg here. I know how it is.”

“I got a friend who got his hand chopped off, got a cyborg replacement,” the old guy said. “Wasn’t any different from a real hand.”

“Yes, well. Mine is very obviously a cyborg leg.”

“Just don’t get carbonite in that cyborg leg. It’ll fuck you up for life.”

“I’ll watch out for that,” Doktor Zapp said, making his exit. As he headed toward Cherry Blossom, he muttered to himself, “If I got something in the cyborg leg, I would just build a new cyborg leg. Idiot.”

***

Emily was wailing. She had managed to knock over and shatter an entire basket of cheap glass balls. An employee of the store, who looked like Mrs. Claus, was chastising her and Lovey, who was whimpering.

“Listen, Mrs. I set feminism back a hundred years every time a little girl looks at me, you can shut up now. It was obviously an accident.”

“Obviously! But whose idea was it to bring a giant baby and a large dog to the Christmas store?”

“I’m a good dog,” Lovey whined.

“Look. The baby is my tenant. She pays her rent money, she says she wants to go to the Christmas store, she gets to pile into my Glitter Van and come here. And the dog is also my tenant, and was watching the baby, and I don’t appreciate your tone toward either of them.”

“Well, then maybe you’d have a better appreciation for this,” Mrs. Claus said snarkily, and handed April an invoice for all the ornaments Emily broke.

April turned to Emily. “Emily! Emily, the nice lady wants you to pay for the ornaments you broke. Can you pay for the ornaments you broke like a good girl?”

Emily nodded eagerly. “I pay for owwmens!”

“Great. I’ll pay the bill here and pass it on to your accountants, with a ten percent fee tacked on for having to deal with this bullshit, how’s that?”

Lovey gasped. “April! Don’t say that in front of Emily!”

“Whatever,” April said, rolling her eyes. “Emily, do we have a deal?”

Emily nodded again. “Uh huh, uh huh! I pay owwmens!”

“Great.” April handed Mrs. Claus her credit card and the invoice. “Run my card and shut the fuck up.”

Mrs. Claus’ eyes narrowed. “How does a baby have this much money?”

“She’s Emily Egg. She’s a star. Not my problem if you never heard of her.”

“But where is her mother?”

“Her mother is God. Now run along like a good little serf and take my money.”

Kerry reached the group. “Oh, April-san! That was very nice of you, to pay for Emily’s broken ornaments.”

“What’re you talking about? I’m sending the bill to her accountants. The kid is loaded.”

“Maybe I should get her out of the Christmas store,” Kelly said. “So there aren’t any more accidents.”

“No! Want Kissmas tor!” Emily yelled.

“More than you want ice cream store?” Kerry said enticingly, with a purr.

“Eye skeem store?”

“Yes, the ice cream store! Would you like to go there?”

“Uh huh!” Emily said. “Eye skeem!”

Lovey looked sad. Lovey usually looked sad, but now she looked especially sad. “They won’t let me in the ice cream store because I’m a dog,” she said, head hung low. “So I guess I’ll just have to stay here.”

“That is, how you say more politely than April-san says it, baloney? I’m a cat and they let me in. What if I tell them, they have to let my friend Lovey-chan in?”

“But they won’t,” Lovey said sadly.

“But they might. I am star too. Not so big as April-san but maybe big enough. Why don’t you come with us and I’ll wave money at them? It works when April-san tries it.”

“Maybe April shouldn’t be your role model, Kerry?” Lovey said uncertainly.

“Why not? I’m an awesome role model. Little girls all over America look up to me and wanna be me,” April said. “You guys go, get out of here. Kelly, good plan, you do that. Channel me.”

“I’ll be politer than you,” Kelly said. “But don’t worry, it’s not hard.”

As the dog, the cat with the giant head, and the huge baby made their way down the street to the ice cream store, which was also a Playstuf storefront, April turned around, sighing with relief that the giant baby wasn’t her problem anymore. It was in that moment that she ran straight into her sister.

Both of them fell on their butts, a perpetual hazard of walking everywhere in high heels. “April?” her sister said, sounding shocked.

“Madison?” April asked, equally shocked.

April had three sisters – Betty, Courtney and Madison—who were all perpetually teenagers. While they all looked to be approximately the same age, Madison was the youngest. They didn’t live with April, but they came around to visit and hit her up for money so often she felt they might as well.

“What’re you doing here?” Madison asked. “I thought you hated Christmas.”

“No, I just said that after the last Christmas special we did.” April had done considerable quantities of coke to get through that miserable shoot, and had been actively tweaking by the time the shoot was done. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to buy a Christmas tree!” Madison chirped. “Have you met my new boyfriend yet?”

Madison’s new boyfriend turned out to be from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. He was dressed in a suit of futuristic armor. There was nothing organic visible on him whatsoever. “This is your boyfriend?” April said skeptically, looking down at him – he was only slightly taller than Doktor Zapp, and shorter than Emily would be if Emily could stand up.

“Yes!” Madison said. “Honey, did you find the Christmas tree section?”

“Yes,” the man in the armor said.

“Find anything good?”

“They looked dead. I told the salesperson, they’re no use to me dead.”

“Technically they are dead though…”

“Why don’t you get an artificial tree?” April asked.

“Ugh,” Madison said. “That is so unnatural!”

“Uh, yes. Yes, that is the point of having an artificial tree.”

“An artificial tree would be better,” Madison’s boyfriend said.

“They’ve got them in the back, in that area they’re refrigerating so it ‘feels’ like Christmas. Which is a terrible idea, by the way,” Madison said. “They’ve got fake snow all over the place, but it doesn’t melt, so it’s not fooling anybody, and no one’s dressed for cold weather…”

Madison’s boyfriend shrugged. “I can get the tree warm, or I can get the tree cold. Either way.”

“So can we come over for Christmas?” Madison asked.

“I’ll think about it,” April said, meaning no. “Look, Madison, I came here to buy ornaments and you’re in my way.”

“I want to come see you for Christmas,” Madison said. “Come on, April, we’re sisters. Stop being such a bitch.”

“All right, dammit, stop being such a pest! I have things to do!” April pushed past Madison, scowling.

“I love you too, big sis!” Madison yelled.

***

“Mrrow! Where are all the damn flowers?”

“What you need flowers so bad for, girl?” Sheonte asked. “We got plenty of ornaments.” They had both filled their carts at this point – Sheonte with gold ribbons, soft silk balls in white and gold, tiny beautiful angels in colors like silver, white, and gold, and fragile glass things; Catrina with nativity figures, brightly colored balls, shiny things, shiny things that move, and things that move that weren’t very shiny. Both of them had agreed that Santas and candy canes and ornament-sized stockings were tacky.

Catrina glared at Sheonte. “Back home in Mexico, we had poinsettias and lilies for Christmas. Where are the poinsettias, meow? What kind of a Christmas store is this?”

“You’re from Mexico?”

“What, you didn’t know?” Catrina looked at Sheonte like it was the most unbelievable thing possible that Sheonte didn’t know her ethnicity.

“Near as I could tell, you’re a cat.”

“Yeah, but I’m a Mexican cat, meow. All the Weargirls came from different places. Batrice was from England. Lulu’s American but she’s Cajun, from Louisiana.”

“I never hear you say anything in Spanish.”

“Eso es porque soy completamente bilingüe, puta.” At Sheonte’s look, Catrina snapped, “I’m bilingual. Been speaking English since I was a little kid. I don’t need to throw Spanish words into everything I say to remind people I’m Mexican like that puta gata, who’s gotta be all like April-san and san this and san that to remind everyone she’s Japanese.” Mrs. Claus walked past them right then. “Hey, you! Mrs. Claus! Where are all the poinsettias in this place?”

“We sold out of those last weekend.”

Catrina rolled her eyes. “Figures.”

“Guess you shouldn’t have waited for April to throw together a fake friendship trip to the Christmas store. Don’t you have wheels of your own?”

“I have a fucking motorcycle. All the Weargirls have motorcycles.”

“Yeah, well, if the Weargirls are so great why aren’t you living with them?”

“It’s not because I tried to kill any of them, I can tell you that.”

“Excuse me? Miss Sheonte?”

The newcomer was very, very short – shorter than Doktor Zapp, shorter even than April’s or Catrina’s arm. She was a Forrest-Pierce BittyFolx from the old school, but unusual looking—barely any hair, just a few red curls on the top of her head, and while most BittyFolx girls wore dresses that curved out from their bodies, her dress was completely straight.

Sheonte was plainly surprised. “Yes, that’s me. Who are you?”

“I’m your biggest fan!” the extremely tiny girl said, bouncing. “My name’s Biz. You are, like, my icon.”

“Why, thank you.”

“I love your sense of style!” Biz gushed. “I always wished I could dress like you, but…” She gestured at her perfectly straight cylindrical body. “I’m stuck with this stupid red dress. I haven’t even got anywhere I can put accessories.” Since BittyFolx had no arms or legs, and seemed to do all their moving via close-range telekinesis or something, this was absolutely true.

“Oh, girlfriend, anyone can have style.” Sheonte turned slightly to grab a piece of tinsel garland out of a nearby bin of wares. She placed it around Biz’s neck, where it looked like a boa. “There you go. You might need to tie it to make it stay on, but see? You can accessorize too! You just have to be flexible.”

“Oh, wow!” Biz lifted her boa without hands, since she didn’t have any, and gazed at it in wonder. “This is beautiful! You’re amazing, Miss Sheonte!”

“Of course I am,” Sheonte said, grinning. “But you’re amazing too. And now you can show the world.”

Catrina muttered to herself, “Back in my show, we didn’t have to teach kids to self-actualize through fashion, mrow. We just fought evil zombies.”

***

Cherry Blossom was attempting to drape herself over the horse, having consumed almost the entire bag of fermented apples. “Come oooonnn,” she slurred. “I’m loooonely. Can’t we goooo somewhere?”

“Cherry Blossom!” Doktor Zapp panted as he reached her. “You’re drunk? How are you drunk?”

Cherry Blossom smiled a huge horsey grin at him. “Apples!” she said drunkenly. “You humans never check the apples!” She then turned to the horse she was hitting on. “I got some for yoooouuu… you want one?” Using her hoof, which for some mysterious reason was able to lift apples as if it had opposable thumbs, she pulled an apple out of her bag and offered it to the horse, who nickered and tried to move away, except that Cherry Blossom was not letting that happen.

“Oh mein gott. I can’t believe this. We’re in public! Show some decorum!”

“I had me some decorum,” Cherry said. “I had frieeends. We had decorum. We saved the goddamn world, we had so much decorum! And have they come to get me? Noooo. So what good is fucking decorum?” She planted a sloppy kiss on the side of the horse’s head. “Come ooooon. I’m horny! I haven’t been with another pony since I got here!”

“The horse obviously is not interested in you,” Doktor Zapp said. “He keeps trying to get away.” The horse was tied to a post by the Christmas store. Doktor Zapp tried to grab Cherry Blossom’s mane and pull her away. “Let’s go home. You’re drunk.”

“No!” Cherry Blossom bucked, her hooves narrowly missing Doktor Zapp, who dodged. “I wanna stay right here with my boyfriend!”

“You don’t even know his name,” Doktor Zapp pointed out. “And also, he can’t talk!”

“I don’t need him to talk,” Cherry Blossom said, suggestively wiggling her rump.

A tall, thin cowboy, about April’s height, came out of the Christmas store, carrying a bag of ornaments. “Hey there, pardner,” he said. “What’s your horse trying to do to my horse?”

“She is not my horse—”

“I’m a pony! And I belong to myself!”

“She is my housemate, and she’s drunk on fermented apples—”

“And I haven’t gotten laid since I left Ponyland! I just wanna get railed, is that so wrong?”

The cowboy shook his head, not like he was saying “no” but like he was saying “I am just not even gonna deal with this.” “Well, pardner, I can see you got a feisty one there,” he said. “You’ve got my sympathies. I’ve had to drag my buddy home from a bender more’n a few times. He’s an astronaut, see, and he likes to get himself liquored up on space hooch.”

Doktor Zapp didn’t know how space hooch would differ from the regular Earth stuff, but he didn’t care enough to ask. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “It means a great deal to me that you care. It has been a very long time since anyone cared.”

“That’s right sad there, fella. You should fix that. Make some better friends.” The cowboy sat down on the horse. The horse was Cherry Blossom’s size, and the cowboy was April’s size, and Cherry Blossom was less than half of April’s height. The cowboy’s nether end barely fit on the horse, and he had to stick his legs straight out to either side or they’d drag on the ground. “Me and Sierra need to be moseying along now. You folks take care.”

“NOOO!” Cherry Blossom cried out as the cowboy and the horse started to ride away. “He’s the love of my life! Don’t take him away from me!”

The cowboy’s eyebrows went up. “Uh, ma’am, Sierra here is a mare. Surprised you couldn’t tell.”

“Oh,” Cherry Blossom said, and then wailed, “She’s the love of my life! Don’t take her away from me!”

The horse snorted, and rode off with the cowboy more than twice her size on her back, as Doktor Zapp held Cherry Blossom back by her mane.

“Let’s get you to the van,” he said, pulling at her.

Cherry Blossom burst into tears. “No one wants to fuck me!”

“There, there.” Doktor Zapp was aromantic and asexual, and couldn’t relate to Cherry Blossom’s issue, but long experience had taught him how to pretend. “I know it’s hard. Why don’t you come on back to the van and lay down? You’ll feel better.”

“I feel sick,” Cherry Blossom moaned.

“Well, then why don’t we get you to the van for a nice cup of water.”

“Uggh.” Cherry Blossom proceeded to vomit all over Doktor Zapp’s shoes, making him jump away.

“How!” he shouted. “Horses can’t vomit!”

“I’m a pony! Ugggh…” Cherry Blossom followed her retort with more puking. Doktor Zapp had to remind himself that Ponyland was in another dimension, which made Cherry Blossom more of an alien than an equine.

***

Finally, April had a chance to shop for Christmas ornaments. She favored the kitschy Christmasy Americana of Santas and reindeers and gingerbread men, as well as a lot of colorful glass balls to replace the ones that broke earlier today.

Since they were shopping to replace her ornaments, she was expected to pay for them, so she met up with Sheonte and Catrina as she was getting ready to check out. Sheonte stared in disbelief. “Girl, you really going with that Santa and candy cane kind of crap?”

“What the fuck is wrong with that?” April glared at Sheonte’s cart. “Your shit looks like some kind of ballroom decoration, not Christmas.”

“Yeah, but my stuff is Christmasy without being ugly, meow,” Catrina retorted. “Sheonte’s ornaments may look boring and corporate but yours are just stupid as fuck.”

“Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting a Christmas feel for my Christmas decorations! All you got might as well be an entire strip club’s worth of glitter!”

“You take that back, mraow!”

“My decorations are tasteful, but I can see you bitches don’t know the meaning of the word,” Sheonte snapped. “Corporate? April’s ornaments are fucking corporate. ‘Let’s put up ugly ornaments with candy canes on them to appeal to the soccer mom demographic!’”

“I can see you’ve never been in a corporate boardroom,” April snarked.

“I’ve never been in a boring-ass one full of old white guys, if that’s what you mean,” Sheonte said. “We Divazz had a boardroom. It was cool. It had soda, and wine coolers.”

“Well, it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s my house and my tree, and I say your ornaments are shitty and I’m not buying them.”

“The fuck you’re not,” Catrina said. “You said we could get whatever we wanted, mraow!”

“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t mean it when I said it.”

“Whatever, bitch. I’m rich enough to buy my own goddamn ornaments,” Sheonte said.

“I’m not putting them on my tree.”

“Yes, you are,” Sheonte said. “Or Catrina and I are moving out. Right, Catrina?”

“Uh…”

“Because you can’t make the mortgage on the Dream House if two of us aren’t renting anymore, right?”

“I can find another couple of renters like that,” April said, snapping her fingers.

“Yeah, no, you can’t. Have you seen your ratings on Yelp?”

“Go Google yourself, meow,” Catrina said. “If the first hit isn’t ‘April is a bitch,’ I’ll eat this ornament.” She held up one of the sparkly balls in her cart. “Anyway, if you don’t wanna put them on your tree, mrew, I’ll get my own damn tree.”

“Ooh. Yeah. I could have an amazing tree for myself and you could just put your tacky junk all over your tree and it could look like shit,” Sheonte said.

Behind them all, they heard Lovey say, “But wouldn’t it be kind of weird if everyone in the house had their own tree?”

April turned. Lovey was there, and behind her, making her way over to the group, was Kerry Kitty, with Emily Egg sitting by herself outside the general area of the Christmas store. Lovey continued. “I think that would be weird, don’t you think? Shouldn’t we all be able to enjoy the big Christmas tree in the middle of the living room?”

“It’s my goddamn tree,” April snapped.

“But we’re all sharing the living room as part of our common space, right? Don’t you think it would be weird if we all had to have different trees?”

“No, nobody but you thinks so, and no one cares what you think.”

“I don’t care if it’s weird,” Sheonte said. “As long as April’s gonna be a bitch about her tree—”

“We need to go home,” Kelly interrupted. “Emily needs her nap.”

“Who cares?” April threw her hands up in the air.

“You will, when the giant baby throws a tantrum and everyone looks at you thinking you’re her mother,” Kerry snapped.

“I can’t leave until I’ve gotten myself a tree, mraow,” Catrina said.

“Yeah, maybe you can take Emily home but as long as April’s being a bitch, I gotta get myself a tree,” Sheonte said.

Kelly took a deep breath. “All of you are idiots,” she said. “No one can get Emily home without April’s van, she is very tired and on the verge of having a meltdown if she doesn’t get a nap, and you three stupid bitches are arguing about ornaments.” Her huge kitty face got into each of the taller dolls’ faces in turn. “You are going to buy all the ornaments you want. You are not going to get extra trees. I will make your ornaments work together without clashing. You are going to shut the fuck up and buy the ornaments in your cart and then April-san will drive all of us home, do you understand?”

Everyone stared at the normally perpetually cheerful and polite Japanese idol as if her face had just sprouted tentacles like a Cthulhoid monster. Catrina and Sheonte took delicate, discreet steps backward.

April did not. “Yeah, what if I—”

Kerry was about Emily Egg’s height, but considerably wider than any of the fashion dolls. She set her feet like a sumo wrestler and shoved April up against a rack of ornaments, her giant head looming imposingly against April��s neck. “Do you understand?” she repeated.

April paled. “Okay, fine! Whatever the fuck!”

Kelly stepped back and beamed. “Very good, April-san. Let’s go home!”

***

Since Cherry Blossom was sleeping it off in the back of the van, and Doktor Zapp was watching her to make sure she didn’t vomit again, April was able to drive off as soon as she and the others were all in the van.

Back at April’s place, there were mugs of hot chocolate for everyone except Lovey, since dogs couldn’t have chocolate; she had a festively striped bone that resembled a candy cane instead. When April pointed out that cats also could not have chocolate, Kerry had smiled a very broad smile and said, “Bite me, April-san.” And then downed half her mug at once. There was no explanation where the mugs of hot chocolate came from; this was just the sort of thing that happened when you were a doll superstar.

Kelly organized the tree ruthlessly, calling on Lovey and Emily to place the “owwmens” in the places she specified. Doktor Zapp was forcibly recruited to assist; he was smaller than Kerry, Lovey or Emily, but he had a levitation belt and fully dexterous hands. Kelly might have opposable thumbs, but her paws themselves were a bit large for interacting with the more delicate ornaments. Emily babbled happily and Lovey barked and frolicked with excitement, like Christmas tree decorating under Kerry’s command was the best thing ever.

April didn’t know whether she was more irritated that she was being left out of the whole tree-decoration process when it was her damn tree, or that Kelly was actually making the wildly clashing types of ornaments work together. She retreated to the roof with a bottle of wine. Catrina and Sheonte joined her.

“All this Christmas bullshit,” Sheonte said.

“Yeah.” April took a swig directly from the bottle, and then handed it to Sheonte, her eyes a challenge. Was Sheonte going to be all prissy and refuse to take a drink because April’s lips had touched the bottle?

The answer was no. Sheonte slugged down what was probably more than one swig. “Catrina?”

“Why the hell not,” Catrina said, and took the bottle. “Mrow.”

As she put it down, she said, “Last Christmas I was at Batrice’s mansion with Lulu and Foxy and Raven. We put purple and blue lights all over the outside of the house, mreow. Then we had steak, nice and bloody, and we decorated the tree. We had poinsettias, and lilies, and colored balls, and Foxy and I chased them around before we put them on the tree.”

“Sounds fantastic,” April said sarcastically.

“It was. It was great. I had real friends.”

“Real friends,” Cherry Blossom said, pushing open the door to the roof. “I had real friends too.”

“Thought you were sleeping off your drunk,” April said.

“I did that. Now I have the biggest headache. Pass the bottle?”

“Thought you only ate apples,” Sheonte said.

“Naah, I can get drunk the human way too.” Cherry Blossom was plainly still somewhat drunk, but four legs, even unsteady ones, were better at staying upright than two legs. She made her way over to the other three and sat down next to Catrina, who passed her the bottle.

“If you had such good friends, why aren’t you with them now?” April asked Catrina. “You try to kill one of them?”

“That would never happen,” Catrina said. “Even if one of them did sleep with my boyfriend – which none of them did, mraow – I would never turn against them.”

“Oh, la-di-da, you’re so much better than us dumb fucks,” Sheonte said. “You so ride or die, why ain’t you hanging with them now?”

“Because I can’t.” Catrina took the bottle back from Cherry Blossom. “We’re monsters. Shapeshifters. Were-girls, right? I’m a cat, Lulu’s a wolf, Raven’s kinda obvious…”

“So?” April reached for the bottle, bypassing Sheonte’s turn.

“So, villagers with pitchforks. Basically. Meow. We had to split up, the cops kept hassling us and there were lawsuits, and we decided it was best to leave Batrice’s mansion, except for Batrice of course. We’re trying to find a place all of us can live, but rents are so high around here, mraow.”

“That’s so sad,” Cherry Blossom said. “No one should be getting in the way of true friendship.” She reached for the bottle, but Sheonte, who’d finally gotten it, didn’t pass it back.

“This shit’s weaksauce, April. You got anything better?”

April opened her large handbag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “I got this.”

“Shiiiit. Yeah, gimme some’a that.”

Sheonte passed the bottle of wine to Cherry Blossom to finish as she opened the whiskey. Cherry Blossom said, “I miss my friends. I miss Ponyland. You people aren’t even my species, and I have to perform in your movies, and do pony rides, and you know what? At home I wasn’t even an actress! I wasn’t even a performer! I ran a grocery store! I sold fruit!”

“Didn’t you say you used to save the world?”

“Yeah, me and my friends used to use the magic of friendship to defeat monsters and evil sorcerors and stuff.”

“How’s a grocery store manager get a position like that?”

Cherry shrugged. “A new mare comes to your hometown with a prophecy, you know how it is.” She threw the now-empty wine bottle off the roof. “Why haven’t they come for me? I thought we were best friends. I thought we’d do anything for each other. Why haven’t they found me yet?”

Sheonte passed the whiskey to April. “Last Christmas we all got together at Yana’s house and we stood around the tree and we strung tinsel garlands all around it. Handing off to each other. The guys were helping with the stuff at the top, it was a tall tree. We had white and gold ribbons tied in bows, and pretty white doves and shit. Had Coke and rum, and Shannon made a cake…”

“Oh, wow, you people used to have such awesome Christmases.”

Sheonte glared at April. “We did. Because we had friends. I thought I had friends, anyway. I didn’t know Viv was gonna end up fucking my boyfriend and then all of them were gonna take her side.”

“I thought I had friends, too,” Cherry Blossom said, taking her turn with the whiskey. “Last Festival of Friendship, we decorated the whole town. Featherfall was getting all the birds to help out with putting snow garlands on everything… Spark had magicked the snow so it would stick together in a garland…” She began to sob. “I’ll never see them again, will I? Maybe they can’t get here! Maybe they can’t find me, and I’ll have to live here forever and ever…”

Catrina sniffled. “Meow. I wanna get back with my friends so bad. I can’t believe I gotta spend Christmas with you bitches instead of my real friends, mraow.”

“I wanna forgive them,” Sheonte said, beginning to cry. “I wanna forgive them so bad, I want everything to be like it was before, but how can I? How can it? I want to go back to the Divazz… I want Jax…”

April, dry-and-stony-eyed, stared off into the distance as around her, her tenants all broke down crying over the Christmases they couldn’t have with friends that weren’t here. All the friends she’d ever had who’d left her had done it because she was a bitch to them, and she knew it. Sheonte could fantasize about going back to the Divazz and Catrina to the Weargirls and Cherry Blossom to Ponyland, but April had never had a group of friends like they had had. Just two boyfriends, and family, and a bunch of bitches who’d used her to get ahead just like she’d been using them.

“I fucking hate Christmas,” she said.

#52 Project #april's dream house #december 2020

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thefactsofthematter · 4 years

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kath.. one true angst god.... may we please have some modern au javid angst that's not just the same "davey has a panic attack" fic that i swear is all this fandom knows how to write? thank u ma'am

ask and you shall receive..... this is something a lil different but very heavy and angsty.. i’m back in my groove baby!!

WARNING - this fic is about drug abuse so if that’s gonna bring up some icky feelings, play it safe and just don’t read it, i won’t mind

"So the funny part is..."

Jack trails off for a moment, trying to think of what's actually so funny. Shooting up in the bathroom, with hands so shaky he could hardly even get the needle in his arm— it's sad, really. This isn't actually very funny at all.

"What's funny, Jack?" asks Davey, his voice wavering like he's so mad he can't even control it. "What the hell is funny about this?"

Jack swallows and looks down at the bruises and tiny round scars on his arms— all by his own hand. This isn't funny.

"Never mind," he mumbles. The initial rush of the injection is wearing off into a pleasant high, but he can't even enjoy it with Davey staring at him like that, all broken-hearted.

"No, Jack," continues Davey, stepping closer to Jack and grabbing him by the front of the shirt. "I want to know. Tell me what you think is fucking funny."

Jack can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him. He doesn't mean to, but Davey never gets mad, so seeing him like this is new and sort of entertaining. He knows Davey would never hurt him, so it's almost amusing that he's getting aggressive. Jack giggles and tries to worm his way out of Davey's grasp, just to see what would happen.

"You're strong," he comments when Davey's grip on him only tightens as he moves. He fights the grip a little harder— enough to scare Davey somehow, make him panic and shove him as hard as he can, sending Jack tumbling into the empty bathtub. He laughs hard as he lands, quite sure he's going to have some sick bruises on his elbows and ass from how he'd tried and failed to catch himself, but not really able to feel the pain right now.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" yells Davey, now towering over Jack and almost managing to look intimidating. "I thought you were done with this shit! You were clean for so long, and now this!? What did you even shoot!?"

It takes Jack a second to process the question, but he eventually points to the needle, elastic band, cotton ball, lighter and spoon on the counter.

"What's it look like? Fuckin'... smack. H. The good stuff."

This seems to piss Davey off more than Jack had anticipated. At least he's being honest— lying would only make things worse.

"God damn it," groans Davey, now pacing around the bathroom, seemingly unable to even look at Jack. "You have to be kidding me. Heroin. Of all fucking things..." He turns back around to Jack with tears welling in his eyes that he's clearly trying to hold back. He pauses for a moment and scrubs a hand over his face with a sigh. "How long, Jackie? How long have you been back on this shit?"

The fact that Davey is crying is like a punch in the gut. Jack is well aware he shouldn't have started again— he'd been four years clean and so goddamn proud of himself— but then his mental health had started going to shit again and he couldn't afford meds for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder all at once, but he did know a guy who could link up cheap drugs that could make him feel just as good. And now here he is— high as a kite, laying in his bathtub, and his husband is crying over his stupid mistakes.

"About a month," he finally replies. He'd been good at hiding it too— years of secret addiction as a teenager and young adult had left him well-practiced. "I... I'm sorry."

He's almost glad he's been caught. If it were just him, on his own, Jack would probably just keep shooting up until it killed him somehow. But with Davey here, and so angry at him, he has to stop. Davey is mad and that's all that matters— making Davey happy is one of the most important things to Jack.

In some weird, convoluted way, that's almost why he'd started using again. When he gets crazy and bipolar without his medication, it puts a wedge in their relationship and gets Davey upset. So if Jack could just manage his symptoms himself, they'd be okay and Davey would be happy. That's how it was supposed to work— but now Jack is just back to being the deadbeat drug addict that Davey doesn't deserve to be stuck dealing with.

Damn it. Nothing ever seems to work out quite right for Jack Kelly.

The next thing Jack can recall is waking up in bed with his body on fire.

Everything is burning. He's on fire, his skin is melting, and the pain is unbearable. He screams at the top of his lungs.

Davey hardly even looks phased, as he arrives to Jack's bedside in an instant.

"You're okay," he whispers, like he's done this a million times before. Jack can barely hear him as he writhes in bed, screaming again but muffling it with the pillow that he presses against his face. "You're still coming down, Jackie. It'll go away eventually, we just have to wait it out."

Jack is sobbing before he even realizes it. He reaches desperately for Davey's hands and squeezes.

"I need a hit," he groans, his voice hoarse and wet with tears. "Please. Make it stop— it hurts. It hurts. You gotta— I'm so sorry, Davey! You gotta help me. Please, just one hit. Please, please."

Davey does nothing more than shush him and carefully climb onto the bed to hold him gently. Jack wants to move— it feels like every cell in his body wants to go in a different direction all at once and he's stuck in the middle of it, shaking and unable to hold still— but at the same time, he wants nothing more than to sleep and make this horrible feeling go away.

"I love you," whines Jack, turning so that he can cry into Davey's chest instead of the pillow. He's shaking with that god-awful craving that he's come to know too well and his skin is literally on fire. "You have to help me, please. I could— I can snort it, so it's not as strong. Only one line. Would... would you still love me if I did a line? Only one, Davey. I have to make it stop."

"I'll love you no matter what baby," sighs Davey, and he sounds so exhausted that it breaks Jack's heart. "But I know you can sober up for me all on your own. You don't need any drugs. This is just a bad craving, and it's gonna go away all by itself. I talked to your doctor, and he says you'll be okay if we just let it all pass. You've done this before."

Jack sobs again and the only thing that makes him feel okay is Davey’s hand rubbing up and down his back.

He has done this before. And it was horrible, some of the worst moments of his life, but he did it. He did it with Davey's help and they were okay. He was okay. He got better and they got married— they were gonna start a family.

Maybe they still can. Maybe if Jack gets good and sober and proves that he's more than just the worthless junkie that Davey's parents still just pretend not to hate, they can still do everything they planned.

"I'm okay," whispers Jack, as the burning in his body slowly starts to ease off and he feels like he might be able to fall asleep again. He grips Davey's shirt in his sweaty, shaking hands and just holds on tight. "I love you. I love you so much. You're my everything, Davey, I love you."

And he means it.

@landlessbud @eponinemylove @i-got-personality @alovelymoonbeam @penzyroamin @graceful-popcorn @auspicioustarantula @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @backgroundensemble @magimerlyn @myheartissetinmotion @papesdontsellthemselves @supremebesson @aw-jus-let-em-try @big-potato-asshole @stop-the-presses @starrysence @wilde-guess @never-fear-brooklyns-here @fandom-fangirl07 @theresagoodchanceicouldfly @dying-poet @asphodelnerd @agressive-cinnamon-roll @daveysexual @soft-colors-and-such

#my writing #david jacobs #jack kelly #javid #newsies fic #reblog to make ur local fic writer feel valid #tw drug abuse #drugs /

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thegoldenyears-memories · 5 years

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WE EXIST, a kenta akiyama mix.

( listen / download )

01. I WANT TO BREAK FREE de queen ( i want to break free from your liesm, you're so self satisfied i don't need you. i've got to break free, god knows, god knows i want to break free. i've fallen in love, i've fallen in love for the first time. and this time i know it's for real. i've fallen in love, yeah, god knows, god knows i've fallen in love. oh how i want to be free, baby. )

02. FIRST TIME HE KISSED A BOY de kadie elder ( feeling stuck, set him free. running out of luck, on his knees. keeping back the ghost inside, locked him in a pack all his life. first time he kissed a boy, he had never never known, cover up is what they told, feel so cold. first time he kissed a boy, he had never never loved, walks on a curvy road, feel. get lost, get lost, get lost, get lost. )

03. FUCK YOU de maria mena ( insult me all you want to but dare you do it to my face? you're entitled to your opinion, but i must ask you why if all you say is hurtful, i would take to heart your written sigh? fuck you uh-oh. )

04. I DON’T NEED TO BE YOU de barei ( i'm never going to wear your shoes, to become your desire. i don't need to be the one you want, i'm the one i'm without a doubt. i don't need to fake, 'cause i'm more than a dummy. i never found it funny. i never hurt no one for who they are. i don't need to play hide and seek with nobody. just live and let me live. maybe we can get along, we can change for the better. i can tell i'm not the only one who has needed a cover. i don't need to be the one you want, want. i don't need to be the one i'm not. i don't need to be you. )

05. LGBT de lowell ( hi, my name is lgbt, don't take out your misery on me, i'm happy and free. whoa, don't hate our love. some old people wanna go back home, to the life where everyone pretending to belong. some young people are smarter than the teachers, they teach us that we do belong and some old people have our eyes, looking forward, embrace their role through the night. and some old people hate to change, except when they're praying away the things they need to shame. and some young people say they aren't hypocrites, say that they accept everyone and they help us all. and some young people like to act like old people, wearing bow ties and telling us we're wrong. and some old people don't remember we're kids and they never chose who they like. so they like me dead, they like me dead. )

06. I’M COMING OUT de diana ross ( i'm coming out, i want the world to know, got to let it show. i think this time around, i am gonna do it like you never knew it. ooh, i'll make it through. the time has come for me to break out of this shell. i have to shout that i am coming out. and, oh, how i've planned, i'm spreadin' love, there is no need to fear. )

07. PUT ‘EM UP de priory ( boys will be boys, who like boys, who dress like girls, and that's alright. we're hangin' with the boys that look like girls tonight. girls will be girls, who like girls, who dress like boys, and start up fights. we're hangin' with the girls that look like boys alright. who gave you the right to judge another's lover? now's the time for changing, so keep the hate from creepin' in. )

08. MODERN LOVE de david bowie ( god and man no confessions, god and man no religion, god and man don't believe in modern love. modern love walks beside me, modern love walks on by. )

09. EVERYONE IS GAY de a great big world ( if you're gay then you're gay, don't pretend that you're straight. you can be who you are any day of the week, you are unlike the others, so strong and unique, we're all with you. 'cause we're all somewhere in the middle, and we're all just looking for love to change the world. what if the world stops spinning tomorrow? we can't keep running away from who we are. if you're gay then you're gay, if you're straight well that's great, if you fall in between that's the best way to be. and we're all here in it together, we're one step closer to breaking down the walls, everyone is gay. )

10. DANCING QUEEN de mamma mia! cast ( friday night and the lights are low, looking out for the place to go, where they play the right music, getting in the swing. you come in to look for a king. anybody could be that guy, night is young and the music's high. with a bit of rock music, everything is fine, you're in the mood for a dance, and when you get the chance. you are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine. you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life. )

11. WILD THINGS de alessia cara ( find table spaces, say your social graces, bow your head, they're pious here, but you and i, we're pioneers. we make our own rules, our own room, no bias here. let 'em sell what they are sellin', there are no buyers here. so gather all the rebels now, we'll rebel rouse and sing aloud. we don't care what they say, no way, no way, and we will leave the empty chairs to those who say we can't sit there, we're fine all by ourselves. don't wanna hang around the in crowd, the cool kids aren't cool to me, they're not cooler than we are. we will carve our place into time and space, we will find our way, or we'll make a way, say hey, hey, hey. find you're great, don't you hide your face, and let it shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine. so aye, we brought our drum and this is how we dance. no mistakin', we make our breaks. if you don't like our 808s, then leave us alone, 'cause we don't need your policies. we have no apologies for being. find me where the wild things are, oh, my, we'll be alright. )

12. HETEROSEXUALITY IS A CONSTRUCT de one night stand in north dakota ( one more comment, one more joke, i won't accept it, i won't tolerate intolerance this time. i'm not a heterosexual man, i'm not ticking your boxes, that's not who i am, i don't fit into your neat little plan, and i never will. jesus christ, i'm done with it, you narrow minded piece of shit, i'd sooner cut off my own dick than be like you. did that make you uncomfortable, is your macho pride in trouble now, when you've beaten me up, then what will you do? love is not a crime, and i'd rather colour outside of the lines. love knows no gender and its about time, you nailed your colours up next to mine. )

13. COMING CLEAN de green day ( seventeen and coming clean for the first time, i finally figured out myself for the first time. i found out what it takes to be a man. well, mom and dad will never understand what's happening to me. )

14. THE VILLAGE de wrebel ( no, your mom don't get it, and your dad don't get it, uncle john don't get it, and you can't tell grandma 'cause her heart can't take it and she might not make it. they say, "don't dare, don't you even go there, cutting off your long hair, you do as you're told." tell you, "wake up, go put on your makeup, this is just a phase you're gonna outgrow." there's something wrong in the village, they stare in the village. there's nothing wrong with you, it's true, it's true. )

15. FUCK YOU de lily allen ( so you say it's not okay to be gay, well i think you're just evil. you're just some racist who can't tie my laces, your point of view is medieval. do you, do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful? 'cause there's a hole where your soul should be, you're losing control of it and it's really distasteful. fuck you, fuck you very, very much, 'cause we hate what you do, and we hate your whole crew, so please don't stay in touch. )

16. PEOPLE LIKE US de kelly clarkson ( they try and knock us down, but change is coming, it's our time now. people like us, we've gotta stick together. keep your head up, nothing lasts forever. here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten, it's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom. we are all misfits living in a world on fire, sing it for the people like us, the people like us. hey, this is not a funeral, it's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage just wait, everything will be okay. even when you're feeling like it's going down in flames. you've just got to turn it up loud when the flames get higher. )

17. FREEDOM CHILD de the script ( seek the truth, go rise and shine. break the rules, test your faith. trust your soul, and lead the way. lose yourself, yeah just go wild. don't let them take your freedom, child. don't show them hate, hate, hate will feed them, child. just show them love, love, love will free them, only love, love can defeat them. hold your ground, make your name. love your life, just feel no shame.the kids, kids, they won't stand a chance, if we don't, don't take a stance. put a flower on the top of a gun, put confetti in an atomic bomb, yeah. it's time to change now, we've seen enough. instead of war, we're declaring love, yeah. )

18. LIVE YOUNG DIE FREE de fletcher ( i don't want the same things i used to want anymore. i only wanna do it if it's something worth fighting for. don't think your money's gonna buy my time. well, who the hell wants to live a lie? i'm so sick and tired of being the one who plays it safe. ready to start it up and make it my show. i'll stay here with no regrets, don't tell me what i want. and if i'm gonna bet, i'm gonna bet it all, don't need your diamond rings, 'cause i can do anything. i wanna live young, die free free free. )

19. GOOD GUYS de mika ( don’t be offended, this might seem a little wrong, where have all the gay guys gone? and to the romance when i was 14 years old, and to my heroes that were dressed up in gold, only hoping one day i could be so bold, where have all the gay guys gone? where have all the good guys gone? )

20. LITTLE GAME de benny ( play us like pawns and relentlessly confine, into living up to gender roles and having absent minds. don't you think it's funny how they tell us how to live? hush, boy, oh, hush, boy, don't say a word, throw on a jersey and no one gets hurt. hush, girl, oh, hush, girl, just bat your eyes, play our little game. gender roles impose control and deceive progressive times, welcome to the land of the broken minds. )

21. RAISE YOUR GLASS de p!nk ( so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways. all my underdogs, we will never be, never be anything but loud and nitty, gritty, dirty, little freaks. won't you come on and come on and raise your glass. )

22. LOVING SOMEONE de the 1975 ( just keep hold of their necks and keep selling them sex, it’s better if we keep them perplexed, it's better if we make them want the opposite sex. and i think i should be loving someone. )

23. SMALLTOWN BOY de bronski beat ( you leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case. alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face. mother will never understand why you had to leave, but the answers you seek will never be found at home, the love that you need will never be found at home. run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away. )

24. SLEEP ON THE FLOOR de the lumineers ( forget what father brennan said, we were not born in sin. leave a note on your bed, let your mother know you're safe. pack yourself a toothbrush dear, pack yourself a favorite blouse, take a withdrawal slip, take all of your savings out. 'cause if we don't leave this town, we might never make it out. )

25. READ ALL ABOUT IT (PT. III) de emeli sandé ( maybe we're a little different, there's no need to be ashamed. you've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away. i wanna sing, i wanna shout, i wanna scream 'til the words dry out. so put it in all of the papers, i'm not afraid. they can read all about it, read all about it. )

26. BORN THIS WAY de lady gaga ( i'm beautiful in my way, 'cause god makes no mistakes. i'm on the right track, baby, i was born this way. don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set. oh there ain't no other way, baby i was born this way. don't be a drag, just be a queen, whether you're broke or evergreen. you're black, white, beige, chola descent, you're lebanese, you're orient. whether life's disabilities, left you outcast, bullied, or teased, rejoice and love yourself today, 'cause baby you were born this way. no matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life. i'm on the right track baby, i was born to survive. no matter black, white or beige, chola or orient made. i'm on the right track baby, i was born to be brave. )

27. GRACE KELLY de mika ( gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more. why don't you like me? why don't you walk out the door! say what you want to satisfy yourself, but you only want what everybody else says you should want. )

28. RAINBOW de kesha ( i used to live in the darkness, dress in black, act so heartless, but now i see that colors are everything. got kaleidoscopes in my hairdo, got back the stars in my eyes, too. but in the dark, i realized this life is short, and deep down, i'm still a child playful eyes, wide and wild. i can't lose hope, what's left of my heart's still made of gold. i found a rainbow, rainbow, baby. trust me, i know life is scary, but just put those colors on, girl, come and paint the world with me tonight. )

29. WE EXIST de arcade fire ( they're walking around, head full of sound, acting like we don't exist. they walk in the room and stare right through you, talking like we don't exist. but we exist. daddy, it's true, i'm different from you, but tell me why they treat me like this? if you turned away what would i say? not the first betrayed by a kiss. maybe it's true, they're staring at you when you walk in the room. tell 'em it's fine, stare if you like, just let us through. they're down on their knees, begging us please, praying that we don't exist. daddy, it's fine, i'm used to 'em now, but tell me why they treat me like this? let 'em stare, let 'em stare, if that's all they can do! )

30. HEAVEN de troye sivan ( the truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek. trying to save face, and daddy heart break, i'm lying through my teeth. the truth runs wild, like kids on concrete. trying to sedate my mind in its cage and numb what i see. without losing a piece of me how do i get to heaven? without changing a part of me how do i get to heaven? all my time is wasted, feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh. so if i'm losing a piece of me maybe i don't want heaven? )

╰ ❄ feliz navidad y año nuevo, joa.

—; de: andy ( @gidsprewett )

—; para: joa ( @heisgold )

La verdad es que cada vez que te veo me dan ganas de partirte la madre, estoy hasta la chingada de ti, pinche estúpida. Prometo que cuando te vuelva a ver te voy a dar unos putazos tan fuertes que vas a ir a parar al hospital, ¿cómo la ves, pendejita?

A ver si te gusta este pinche regalo, es gay como tú, y mezclé canciones de Kenta ahora y Kenta antes cuando era darks. Ya sé que su mamá no está, pero con tus dos neuronas intenta cambiarlo a “papá”, ¿okay? Sé que va a ser muy difícil para ti porque estás bien tarada, pero inténtalo. Todavía que una te hace un regalo y tú te pones a chingar, no mames. ¿Qué no puedes ver nada en la contraportada? ¿Y? Lo hice así porque pensé: “Hahahaha, pinche Joanna ciega.” Así que buena suerte intentando leer esas letritas, me importaba más el aesthetic, oops.

Ten una muy buena pinche vida. Te odio.

...

Te amo muuuuuuuuuuuucho. ¡Feliz Navidad y año nuevo, bebé! Espero poder seguir creciendo contigo y con Ale. Gracias por todo tu apoyo y por nunca, nunca juzgarme. Gracias por darme cachetadas cuando las necesitaba. Gracias por oír hasta las cosas más raras que te digo. Gracias por tu confianza. Gracias por siempre levantarme el ánimo cuando las cosas parecen ir mal, sé que a ambas nos cuesta un poco más las cosas, pero ya verás que iremos superándolo. Estoy muy orgullosa de ti por todo lo que has logrado y por quien eres, así como los cambios que has hecho para bien. Me alegra tanto verte así. Y gracias por siempre seguirme las pendejadas, en especial Wyatt y Anthony. Tu existencia me hace muy feliz y al mismo tiempo me da mucha risa porque recuerdo tu cara y me da risa (?). En verdad que te amo mucho, mucho. Gracias por tanto. Que este año sea aún mejor que el 2018 y continuemos enfrentando todo sin dar pasos atrás.

Con amor,

— andy. 🎅

#kenta #santa secreto 2018

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sassysweetcollegegirls · 6 years

Text

Lord Forgive me for what I’m about to do:

Everyone who hasn’t seen this image ; here it is and forgive me but as I was standing at my register today.... it hit me and I can’t hold it in. Heaven help me for the hell I am about to unleash for the shit that I am about to fucking do because....

Bobs back and the whole cast of Voltron and some old faces and some of the new ones

The Bachelor AU is here ;

The tv turns on and the family sitting on the couch huddled together the father grumps sticking his hand in some type of goo,” Why the hell are we we watching this Helen?”

“ it’s for Kelly Henri.” Helen the woman on the end snipes her blond hair bouncing as she soothes a few strands in the blanket.

The T.V. Wide pans to a wide shot of earth there’s this terrible cheesy song and everyone watches as Bob blips onto screen.

“WELCOME EVERYONE TO BACHELOR NATION! Tonight is the night Keith Kogane begins the search for the Greatest teammate in his life the one whose gunna sit next to him after the fights all over and share that little shack in the middle of BUTT NOWHERE!!!” Bob’s chair floats around a graceful and pretty landscape of flowers a wide open glass mansion brimming with romantic candles sits behind him.

“So let’s meet this man of Mystery and Intrigue and find out what he wants in a teammate shall we?” bob winks his green skin seeming odd in the earthly landscapes.

Keith stands dressed in a red suit kosmo laying at his feet. Keith keeps touching the pockets of his coat like they are going to disappear if he doesn’t stop touching them. Bob floats over and looks at Keith expectantly,” Keith! Tell us what you look for in the ultimate teammate!!!” Bob’s face is to eager Keith looks at him confused

“What do you mean?”

“Well aren’t you here to find love and that person whose gunna sit down in that shack in BUTT NOWHERE after this is all over.” Bobs excitedly floating upsidedown

“Yes, but it’s not like I’ve got a lot of time to be meeting new people.” Keith runs his hand worried through his mullet and looks at Bob shyly Kosmo hrumphs in a matter of fact way.

“Well that’s why we have assembled a cast of characters you know! We think one of these lucky people could be your teammate Keith!!”

Keith stared at Bob confused,” how am I supposed to know that?”

“Well first your going to meet all 28-“

“ THERES 28 OF THEM?!?” Keith’s voice is slightly panicked

Bob chuckles,” Kid did you like ever watch this show?”

Keith blushes and shakes his head. Bob floats for a second and pats the top of Keith’s head once “I picked a virgin for this one I shoulda picked the dumb one. So basically you go on dates, talk give kisses and have conversations. Try to... connect and then every week you send one or two individuals home.”

Keith nods,” I just want someone who is gunna love me...” his voice is quiet but the microphone still picks up the line and Bob looks at him blankly.

“ Lets meet our contestants alright?”

Keith stands with Kosmo seated calmly at his feat arms crossed as a limo pulls up. The door opens and Shiro steps out. He’s dressed in a beautiful star blue gown and Keith has to blink because for one he’s in a dress and for two he’s stunning. The dress is hugging his shoulders and the sleeves are long (aside from the one that’s not on his prosthetic floating arm) and there’s a slit at the thigh and Shiro just seems to glitter.

“You look so pleased to see me Keith.” Shiro smiles and Keith has to soften and uncross his arms as Shiro steps forward to hug him.

“I’m so confused.” He confesses as Shiro touches his cheek softly.

“ I can imagine I mean. Your in a red suit and look at this” Shiro gestures to the slit on his leg and Keith looks (because Shiro asked) and swallows. He can see Shiro’s thigh which is toned and very smooth beneath the fabric. ,” I am not made for slits this high. Give me a Cinderella gown any day Keith. Not this skank of a dress.”

Keith is blushing as Shiro says a quick goodbye watching as another Limo comes into sight. Keith has about two seconds to breath.

“I REALLY DONT GET THIS SHOW KELLI.” Henri was grumbling looking at the girl sitting on the floor squealing at the man dressed in the red suit and the other man dressed like a woman.

Kelli turns to look at Henri, “ Daddy, Keith wants to find someone to love didn’t you hear him?”

The Show is on pause and Henri is watching his daughter and the happiness and joy and he knows things have been a mess lately and he’s been yelling more so he sighs,” Alright Princess but only for you.” As the show turns back on

Keith watches at the Limo stops and then he’s watching the door open and for a minute it looks like nothing comes out. Just an open door and then he looks downward.

It’s the Arusian. He never did catch the little things name so he’s surprised when suddenly it’s attached to him at the waist.

“Oh um.... Hi. Nice to see you again to.” He offers and the creature smiles up at him. Then it lets go and runs in the way Shiro has gone and Keith looks at his tummy wondering why it’s all warm and he feels safe.

The next limo is quick to show trying to give little time between interactions.

The door opens and there is James. James looks older and he’s still the same stuck personality looking guy Keith remembers taunting him during his younger years. He’s wearing a two piece outfit. The top is embellished with the solar system of earth and glitter while the bottom is very poofy almost tutu like. He wears heals that Keith thinks could double as weapons. It’s a tempting look and one James pulls off. All he would need is Keith’s current jacket and he’d look pretty fuckable. Keith shakes the idea as he watches James stride forward and stop a few feet away,”I really don’t get why they made all of us wear dresses when some of us are men.”

Keith can’t help but smile and then winks,” who knows but your still pretty tasty little snack.”

“Snack Kogane I’m the whole fucking meal. Now give me your coat I’m cold.” Keith laughs loud and audibly and shakes out of his jacket handing it over watching James walk away trying to clean up his mind because he’s not supposed to be having dirty thoughts on this show.

He looks to Kosmo who’s still seated watching amused. “ Your the worst.” He murmurs and then turns to look at the Limo pulling up.

The door opens and Krolia steps out.

Keith balks because 1. she’s his mom

2. She’s his mom

And 3. She is wearing something so revealing he can’t even look at her.

“ Mom what are you wearing and why are you here?”

“Are you not pleased to see me son?”

“Mom... you really shouldn’t be here right now.”

“Why?”

Keith shifts awkwardly and looks at Kosmo,” You realize this is a dating show right?”

Korolia is quiet. “ROBERT EVENGREENSTEIN.”

“Wait You know Bobs Full name?” Keith is shock so deep it’s almost like someone got him a new soul.

“That, among other things. He told me it was customary for mother’s to appear on these shows in shiny black cars. “

Keith rubbed his face and tried not to smudge the eyeliner he’d put on,” Alright so here’s how we fix this. YOU GO HOME. Just get right right back in the shiny car and go home. Then I have 27 individuals to deal with.”

Krolia nodded,” no one else has to know I was here then. Crisis averted.”

“ splendid. Bye mom.”

“ I love you Son. I hope this journey brings you a mate. “ Krolia said envolping in a quick hug before jumping back into the Limo and shutting the door.

Keith sighed and blinked at the stars,” You Guys can’t fuck with me like this.”

He was so wrapped up in stars he missed the Limo pulling up and opening the doors. Allura stepped out and looked at Keith he was dashing in his red and black shirt and tie and he looked focused on the stars. So focused he missed her in the sheer silver gown that shimmered and shined as she glideded up the steps toward him.

“ You will break your neck if you look up like that you know.” She said a smile crawling onto her face and Keith had to swallow as he looked down at her because GODDAMNED GIRL. She was stunning her narrow waist and low dipped halter neck were perfect in the light and the way the light was shining Keith really was beginning to think that maybe he did have a thing for women.

For some reason he held out his hand to her and she took it slender fingers meeting his with confidence.

“Your stunning Allura.” Keith whispered as he reached up and touched her silver hair noting how she somehow managed to rock the it girl earth styles despite her Alien features.

“You clean up nice as well. Now if only we could get you to look this nice for coalition dinners.” She teased

Keith groaned,” Let’s not make this about business or the lions please.”

“Then what is this about Keith?” She asked and suddenly he wasn’t sure. He shrugged and she smiled and then she disappeared down the walkway that headed into the mansion.

Keith looked to Kosmo,” What is this about boy?”Kosmo blinked having no fair response. He was a space wolf on a show about a space dude dating aliens and humans in dresses (how was he supposed to know?)

Keith stood looking at Kosmo until the next Limo showed up and he was treated to another silvery tore the of hair.

“Lotor?” Keith gasped. Lotor stood on the stairs he was dressed regally in purple ruffles that seemed to hide a lot but they stopped at the thighs leaving black leather boots all the way up to his thighs.

“Hello.”

“What on earth are you doing here?” Keith’s eyes were narrowed deep in suspicion.

“Well Bob thought I’d make an excellent contestant for your little show and I have to say the wardrobe and winning over a paladin didn’t sound half bad either. “ Lotor was clomping in his heals commanding his space and Keith didn’t like it,” So let’s make a game of it shall we Paladin?”

Lotor was touching his arm in a comforting way but it gave Keith the chills. He watched as Lotor waved goodbye and walked toward the mansion.

Keith steeled his nerves for a moment and looked to Kosmo,” your going to have to keep an eye on him.” Kosmo rolled one of his eyes and another limo rolled up.

Keith tried to relax. He knew he should smile but he couldn’t. The door opened and Hunk stepped out. Hunk was holding a plate of brownies in one hand and a bone for Kosmo in the other. He was dressed in the yellow dress that went upto his neck and covered most of his arms. It was long and it suited him it made Keith think of summer sunshine and he couldn’t help but be happy to see Hunk.

“Keith!” Hunk cheered climbing up the steps carefully and tossing Kosmo his treat. Kosmo blipped forward to catch it and then went to hide behind Keith,” Dude you look awesome.” Hunk continued as he reached Keith.

Keith blushed because Hunk was always kind,” You look beautiful Hunk.”

“You think so? “

“Absolutely”

“Thank God. I was worried it wasn’t gunna fit or it would be the wrong shade of yello-“

Keith started laughing and pulled Hunk in for a hug,” Hunk it’s perfect. Your beautiful. Thank you for being here. “

Hunk smiled and hugged back as best he could without dropping brownies,” I made brownies. Think we can share?”

Keith looked at Hunk and at the plate and took two and held a finger to his lips,” what the others don’t know won’t kill them.” Hunk chuckled and they waved goodbye Keith touched the brownies in his pockets smiling happy.

The next limo was quick as was the opening door as Rolo stepped out. He looked like he’d rather be shot than be seen in what he was wearing. The dress was a simple baby blue halter that stopped at the knees and they gave him flat Sandles. His hair was freshly washed and combed but he was reaching up and trying to find his goggles.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked stepping down the stairs

“They wouldn’t let me wear the boots or the hat... n now I got on this dress. I feel very exposed Red.”

Keith smiled,” if it makes you feel better everyone’s in a dress. Even the great Shiro.”

“They got that beast in a dress?”

Keith nodded and Rolo made eye contact,” is it attractive?”

“Extreamly.”

“Alright Red. You talked me into this dress nonsense. I’ll see you later.” Rolo shot clomping down the way to the mansion trying not to touch his hair as much.

Keith just chuckled and watched him go thinking it would be fun to see him in different ones.

The next limo brought a face Keith welcomed and feared. The door opened and Pidge stepped out. She was in a purple dress that stopped at the knees and she was wearing a pair of heals (he wanted to pick her up and carry her because they were so freaking big).

Her dress was crushed with jewels on tops and the bottom was entirely purple tool. She wore it with pride as well as a matching headband that blinked at her.

She wobbled getting out and Kosmo blipped forward to walk her up the steps. “Pidge why did you let them put you in shoes that high?” Keith whines as he was all of a sudden forced to look at the beauty of her legs (was Keith a leg man?)

“I didn’t exactly have a choice.” She murmured as Keith reached forward and took her from Kosmo,” they give you one outfit choice and one set of shoes to start.”

“Monsters.” Keith clarified, he was trying to be gentle because Pidge was resting against his chest as he guided her forward. Keith felt oddly protective of Pidge especially because she had put such honest effort in for him and she stood looking at him now hands in his blushing.

“ You realize all I’m going to do is shitpost and meme in real life right?” She smiled and looked at him and Keith had to try to keep thinking about what she said because all of a sudden he was thinking that his little gremlin was hella cute.

“I’d expect nothing less from my favorite gremlin.” He smiled and she huffed.

“Is there a way to save me the embarrassment of walking down that pathway?” She asked her voice soft and scared.

“Want Kosmo to take you?” He offered

“That would be nice.” She said as Keith swept her up bridal style and set her carefully on Kosmo’s shoulders. Kosmo seemed to understand and he looked at Pidge and then at Keith before blipping out of sight. Keith stood for a minute thinking about the weight of Pidge in his arms.

His own voice broke the silence,” Shit. I should have warned her about Shiro.” he doesn’t have time to run to the mansion and warn her or cover her eyes because the next limo pulls up and Keith has to swallow every gay man’s dirty little secret.

Mathew Holt. Mathew Holt is the only guy not in a dress. But he was not forgiven because what he is wearing is even more of a sin. Keith can see his chest and the V of his hips as the jeans he was wearing sunk low enough to reveal hip bones but not much else. Keith was having a hard time breathing as he watched Matt approach the cross around his neck bouncing against his pecks and his ponytail was messy he held a coat over his shoulder like he was bored.

“ Keith. Weird, I’d have expected something a little more sparkly.” Matt tried teasing coming to stand in front of Keith. He smelled so good somewhere between motor oil and sex and Keith was having trouble speaking. “Earth to Keith?”

Matt waved his hand in front of Keith’s face and Keith blushed coughing,” What I’m sorry.I just your not dressed like n-normal...”

“This? Bi-Bo-Bii picked it said something about Sex appeal. “ Matt looked at himself and then shrugged. Keith decided it was unfair Pidge was cute and Matt was so sexy Keith may just die,” It’s not bad is it?” Matt asks suddenly self conscious.

Keith waves his hands around,”NONONOYOURGOODYOURGOODTOOGOODACTUALLYOHGODINEEDTOJUSTSHUTTHEFUCKUP.” Keith is panicked all of it coming out in one big rush as he lets out all the air in his lung,” IMEANSHIRO’SINADRESSYOULOOKLIKESEXEVERYTHINGSFINE.”

“Wait they got SHIRO in a dress?” Matt asks and just as they said that theres a loud cackling scream from inside the mansion,” Is that Pidge?” Keith nods to both and Matt claps his hands smiling,” You forgot to tell her that Shiro was in a dress didn’t you?”

Keith nods again and all of a sudden Matt in laughing and running off with Keith watching in stunned Silence as his levels of gay calm down and he can finally breath normally. He’s left standing waiting for yet another Limo.

This Limo didn’t even come to a full stop the door opened and a full rolling body flew out. It took Keith a moment to recognize the mass of Limbs as Slav. “ THIS REALITY IS RUDE.”

“ Slav, So pleased you could join this uh....”

“What is this Angry one? Some type of Alternate reality where we all play along in some dating show?” Slav is waving his arms around in his crazy angry way that only slav is capable of,” You know only Shiro and I have the chemistry for that.”

“Shiro is here. They got him in a dress.” Keith offers trying to sooth the angry scientist. His fingers going to his mullet. He’s looking at Slav who is dressed in a black and white suite and very angry.

“A Dress? Don’t they know how dangerous that is? What if he slips and falls on the train?” Then Slav is marching past Keith and his black and white suit is ignored as you can hear the angry speech he is giving the entire show about safety precautions.

Keith rubs his hands through his hair and closes his eyes looking up at the stars when the next Limo arrives his back is turned but he can’t miss the soft sound of Shakira’s She-Wolf playing as Lance steps out of the Limo.

Keith has to blink twice to be sure he is truly seeing it right. Lance is dressed in the tightest dress Keith has ever seen. It stops just short of his ass and Keith is looking at the heals on his feet all the way up his legs. (Keith has decided he is defiantly a leg man and OH Sweet heavens these legs) Kosmo is seated eyes forward he whimpers slightly. Keith shushes him watching as Lance bends and twirls his way towards him. Every flash of skin seems to make the dress creep a little higher and when it comes to getting close Keith thinks Lance’s underwear are red. The music stops and Lance howls gently tilting his head back hand on Keith’s chest and Kosmo joins him eyes closed. A moment of silence lapses and Keith realizes he isn’t breathing.

“Breath.” Lance murmurs and Keith does as if compelled by some kind of magic. “ What do you think?”

“Can I touch you?” Keith asks his voice beyond soft as he looks at the ocean blue eyes that have seemingly trapped him.

“Only because you asked,” Lance says smiling and Keith reaches forward fingers shaking he touches the hem of Lance’s dress he can’t help but notice how smooth Lance’s skin is against the spandex fabric.

Then both boys hear a soft clearing of throat and jump apart pretending as though nothing happened but not before Lance can sneak his hand in Keith’s pocket and steal Hunks brownie’s before sashaying off to leave Keith with Samuel Holt.

“That looked mighty comfortable.” Sam tried and Keith blushed.

“I can imagine that it is. Good to see you again Sam. Are you here because bob dragged you along?”

“ Yup. I figured I would keep an eye on the children. Though I will say you clean up nicely cadet.”

“Thank you Sir. I Hunk and Pidge are probably pulling pranks on Slav and hopefully Matt hasn’t given to many heart attacks. Report back any findings please.”

“ Will do captain.”

Both men part ways Keith standing thinking about a particular set of Legs and Sam off to keep havoc from going all the way.

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